Original subtitles

-CRICKET: Are we almost there? -JANN: I think we are.

-[coyote howling] -Okay. -Just a little bit further.

-Oh, car! -Ooh, car.

CRICKET: No, no, no! Walk normal!

Walk normal! Walk normal.

What are we looking for?

JANN: Oh, that's it!

Come on, come on!

CRICKET: Uh...

Are-are you El Lobo?

¡Ándele!

[stammers]

Okay.

[Jann and Cricket shouting]

-[Cricket exclaiming] -JANN: Whoa! Whoa! Watch out! Watch out!

[Jann and Cricket shouting]

[Jann and Cricket exclaim]

[crickets chirping]

Hey, hon, you think you can just slow down a scootch?

-[chuckles nervously] -You're running from Culebra!

You'll be dead by tomorrow morning.

What difference does it make?

See, this is why I didn't want to have kids.

Yeah.

[engine revs]

Is that him?

It-it must be.

Fuera.

¡Vámonos!

Where the fuck you been, eh?

You're gonna get us pinched.

[sighs]: Okay.

Ay, no mames.

We're not on vacation, gringos.

[groans, mutters]

Are you having some tummy times, babe?

-It's not good. -Oh, don't worry.

It's gonna smooth out, okay?

[Cricket groaning]

Oh...

Oh, my... What?

Oh!

Ooh, for what it's worth,

this was done with a lot of craftsmanship.

Okay, couple more steps.

Look at you-- literal StairMaster.

Yeah. Oh... I don't like those.

-Good job. -Thank you.

[quietly]: Okay...

-Come on, guys. -Okay.

Good.

-Almost there. -Okay.

Yes, you got this.

-Okay. -Okay.

Well, I did it.

Great.

Okay, now, I think it's this way.

I saw the "exit" sign over here.

[quietly]: Okay.

After you, My Grace.

[gasps softly]

Oh, my God.

[triumphant music]

It's everything I dreamed.

Mmm...

We'll take two Hot, Sweet and Swirlies.

I-I'd like extra nutmeg. Do you want extra nutmeg?

-Yeah. -Yeah, extra nutmeg.

And two large drinks-- free refills?

-Of course. -Great.

And, uh, hmm...

uh, could you call us a taxi to Los Angeles, please?

[upbeat music]

[gentle music]

[Chazz laughs]

There they are.

[singsongy]: It's the Melfis.

The heirs to the throne.

We were so impressed with y'all's submission video.

We saw what you were doing, and we demanded to meet you.

Oh, my God, I love you guys so much!

I can't believe I'm meeting you in real life!

Your work means everything to me!

You have no idea!

In season four, episode seven,

when you put new gables on that farm house

and you-you moved the barn across the driveway

so the Maguires could have a view of their hayfield,

that was just everything.

I mean, it was such a formative moment for me!

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Looks like we got a couple crazed fans on our hands here.

You two are so sweet.

Let's get you guys to your big meeting.

-Yeah, come on. -It's a very special day.

CHAZZ: Come on, buddy.

I have to congratulate you on your new paint line.

It's the most beautiful colors I've ever seen

-in my entire life. -Thank you.

The custard is the richest yellow I've ever seen.

The custard, oh, the custard...

-I'm not kidding about it, either. -Thank you.

Well, guys, we've got a couple of fires to put out,

but we will be joining y'all in two shakes.

They are waiting for you right in there.

Just remember, you earned this.

Enjoy the hell out of it.

-Okay. Okay. -Good luck.

Thank you.

[exhales]

[breathing deeply]

One journey ends.

Another begins...

together.

Always.

Cricket and Jann.

Flip It and Gone with Cricket and Jann, right?

I'm Director Stubbs of the DEA.

This is my colleague,

Director Holloway of the FBI.

For the record, do you two currently work

for the Culebra drug cartel?

[smacks lips]

[groans]

Yeah, yeah.

You know, when you love what you do,

it's not really work.

I think you remember Agent Verdugo?

Marco?

How did you get across the border so fast?

Yeah, which coyote did you use?

Because ours was really unprofessional.

You dipshits honestly think you're that clever?

No, you're here

because we arranged for you to be here.

If it weren't for me, you'd be dead two minutes

after you left the compound.

Marco, this is not like you.

Well, you clowns almost ruined two years of undercover work

with your stupid tacky bullshit and got me killed

in the process, you fucking idiots!

Did you say "tacky"?

Yes.

Tacky.

STUBBS: Agent Verdugo?

So, let me tell you what happens now.

We're gonna reinsert you back down in the cartel.

You're gonna resume your activities as normal.

Only now, you work for us.

You're gonna help us bring down the leader of the cartel.

Rumualdo?

Nah, Rumualdo's a big fish, but he's not the shot caller.

That's El Enojon, the Angry One.

Enojon has been on our most wanted list for over a decade.

-Abuelito? -The handyman?

No, he's a gardener, a-a landscape guy.

He's not the drug lord.

That gardener is the founder of the Culebra cartel.

We estimate he's responsible

for the murders of over 3,000 people.

We don't want to do it, though.

We don't want to do it.

Mm-mm. No, we...

No. No, thank you.

No, thank you, we don't, um...

-Thank you for... -Thank you so much.

We're honored to have been asked.

Thank you for thinking of us.

-Yeah. -Um...

but you know,

we're just gonna... refuse.

-[chuckles] -Well,

you'll spend the rest of your lives

in a federal penitentiary for aiding and abetting

an international drug cartel.

Hmm.

[dramatic music]

And do we shoot our HRTV pilot now

or when we get back?