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1
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[car doors shutting]
2
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[pulsing music]
3
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[Cricket muttering]
4
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Give me a break...
5
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Jann!
6
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[huffs]
7
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Jann!
8
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Cricket, do you have a decision on...?
9
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Not now, Beatriz!
10
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[Beatriz mutters]
11
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She has a paint line!
12
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-Who?
-Tiffany
13
00:00:23,565 --> 00:00:25,475
Fake-ass, Fraud, Bullshit,
14
00:00:25,567 --> 00:00:27,237
Huckster Connelly, that's who.
15
00:00:27,319 --> 00:00:29,909
There was a giant display
at the Fair & Square Hardware.
16
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You are shitting me!
17
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Satan has won, Jann!
18
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There was a huge cardboard cutout of her
19
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and a million swatches of paint
on the endcap!
20
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The entire endcap?
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CRICKET:
Oh, I'm pissed off!
22
00:00:41,542 --> 00:00:43,382
I'm pissed at Tiffany Connelly!
23
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I'm pissed at Diego!
24
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And, frankly, I'm pissed off at you!
25
00:00:47,047 --> 00:00:48,877
Slow your roll, girl!
26
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We're on the same side!
27
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Are we?
28
00:00:51,927 --> 00:00:53,297
Because you seem to be spending
29
00:00:53,387 --> 00:00:56,007
an awful lot of time
with Cartel Garfunkel.
30
00:00:56,098 --> 00:00:58,768
Well, I'm so sorry
that someone aside from you
31
00:00:58,851 --> 00:01:01,021
is being recognized
for their creative gifts.
32
00:01:01,103 --> 00:01:02,903
What is that supposed to mean?
33
00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:04,690
It means that you've been taking credit
34
00:01:04,773 --> 00:01:06,783
for all of our work!
35
00:01:06,859 --> 00:01:08,939
You know that I put
the bunting on that tapestry!
36
00:01:09,027 --> 00:01:10,447
You know that I picked the upholstery
37
00:01:10,529 --> 00:01:12,109
for the bedroom divan!
38
00:01:12,197 --> 00:01:13,907
Are you telling me you get hurt feelings,
39
00:01:13,991 --> 00:01:16,911
so you run off
and do a love ballad with the boss?
40
00:01:16,994 --> 00:01:18,504
[whispering]: At a fucking quinceañera?
41
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I will not apologize for my performance.
42
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Rumualdo and I have a creative connection,
43
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so don't cheapen it
with your tawdry insinuations.
44
00:01:26,628 --> 00:01:27,878
Mmm.
45
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Should I be insinuating?
46
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Or is there something you need to tell me?
47
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I don't know what's going on with you.
48
00:01:37,472 --> 00:01:39,772
With us, you know?
49
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:41,730
But I need you, Jann.
50
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I need you, too.
51
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-I can't do this without you.
-No.
52
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Look what this place is doing to us.
53
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They keep throwing
all these shiny things at us,
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distracting us from what's important.
55
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Distracting us from our destiny.
56
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Well, I won't let that happen to us.
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Me, neither.
58
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[romantic music]
59
00:02:05,292 --> 00:02:07,712
Color is so important to Chazz and me.
60
00:02:07,794 --> 00:02:10,464
Exciting reds, calming blues--
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00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,717
they mean so much to us.
62
00:02:12,799 --> 00:02:14,589
That's why we are so excited to announce
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00:02:14,676 --> 00:02:17,136
our partnership with Home Renovation TV
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00:02:17,221 --> 00:02:19,181
and Fair & Square Hardware
65
00:02:19,264 --> 00:02:21,314
for our new line of premium paints
66
00:02:21,391 --> 00:02:23,311
and hand-crafted stains.
67
00:02:23,393 --> 00:02:25,943
We know you'll find your truest expression
68
00:02:26,021 --> 00:02:27,901
with Color by Connelly.
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00:02:27,981 --> 00:02:30,941
Available now at Fair & Square Hardware.
70
00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:34,736
And don't forget the season premiere
of Pros & Connellys.
71
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JANN:
How do you hand-craft a stain,
72
00:02:36,698 --> 00:02:37,818
you fucking twit?
73
00:02:37,908 --> 00:02:39,118
They have an empire!
74
00:02:39,201 --> 00:02:41,541
Corporate partnerships, media stardom.
75
00:02:41,620 --> 00:02:44,210
And we're stuck down here
working for drug dealers!
76
00:02:44,289 --> 00:02:46,249
-Shh!
-Well, we're trapped.
77
00:02:46,333 --> 00:02:48,343
How are we supposed
to even take the first step
78
00:02:48,418 --> 00:02:50,998
when nobody sees our work
but-but cartel thugs
79
00:02:51,088 --> 00:02:52,628
and all the Tijuana brass?
80
00:02:52,714 --> 00:02:53,884
-Honey, hold on.
-We should've just
81
00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:55,876
let them bury us in the desert.
82
00:02:55,968 --> 00:02:57,258
That would have been a more decent ending
83
00:02:57,344 --> 00:02:59,474
than just wasting away down here!
84
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-Cricket!
-What?!
85
00:03:00,722 --> 00:03:01,722
Look!
86
00:03:05,185 --> 00:03:06,935
CRICKET:
No, but the contest is over.
87
00:03:07,020 --> 00:03:09,110
Well, it's over in the U.S...
88
00:03:09,189 --> 00:03:11,149
but they just started a new one.
89
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:13,693
And they're taking entries from Mexico.
90
00:03:13,777 --> 00:03:15,357
We're in Mexico.
91
00:03:15,445 --> 00:03:16,485
Yeah.
92
00:03:16,572 --> 00:03:17,782
No, no, that's crazy!
93
00:03:17,865 --> 00:03:18,865
[stammers] That can't be right.
94
00:03:18,949 --> 00:03:20,449
Oh, it's not crazy, my love.
95
00:03:20,534 --> 00:03:22,834
This is our old friend destiny
96
00:03:22,911 --> 00:03:24,871
putting a blanket over our shoulders.
97
00:03:24,955 --> 00:03:27,535
Inviting us to warm ourselves by the fire.
98
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:30,254
But-but they destroyed our video,
you know?
99
00:03:30,335 --> 00:03:31,295
What would we even submit?
100
00:03:31,378 --> 00:03:32,628
I'll tell you what!
101
00:03:32,713 --> 00:03:34,383
A brand-spanking-new video.
102
00:03:34,464 --> 00:03:36,224
Of our latest masterpieces--
103
00:03:36,300 --> 00:03:38,470
Diego's, Rumualdo's, the Ortegas'.
104
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We shoot it all.
105
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They'll kill us.
106
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Aren't we already dead?
107
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If we do this...
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we do it together.
109
00:03:46,935 --> 00:03:49,435
When I said, "Till death do us part,"
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I meant it.
111
00:03:51,523 --> 00:03:54,153
Flip It and Gone with Cricket and Jann
112
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is the phoenix-- it will always
113
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rise from the ashes.
114
00:03:58,280 --> 00:04:00,240
Oh, but how would we even shoot it?
115
00:04:00,324 --> 00:04:01,874
-They took our phones--
-[shushing]
116
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JANN [quietly]: Here we are.
117
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[quiet, tense music]
118
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♪
119
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Hello, new friend.
120
00:04:19,718 --> 00:04:22,048
Oh, shoot, shoot, shoot!
121
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This tile is too large for this space.
122
00:04:24,473 --> 00:04:26,643
Oh, sweetie, I told you to measure it.
123
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,435
-Yeah, I-I thought I had.
-[groans]
124
00:04:28,519 --> 00:04:30,439
But, uh, you know, I'll definitely
125
00:04:30,521 --> 00:04:32,021
-need my tile cutter.
-Mm-hmm.
126
00:04:32,105 --> 00:04:34,225
Uh, could you be a dear
and please hand it to me?
127
00:04:34,316 --> 00:04:35,976
Oh, honeybun, you know what?
128
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:38,198
-What?
-We left it at Diego's house.
129
00:04:38,278 --> 00:04:39,738
Oh, rats!
130
00:04:39,821 --> 00:04:41,241
Oh, no, no!
131
00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:43,453
Yeah. Hey, Marco?
132
00:04:43,534 --> 00:04:44,744
Would you be a lamb
133
00:04:44,826 --> 00:04:46,536
and run over to Diego's house
134
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:48,210
to pick up our tile cutter that we so
135
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:51,288
do need for this project?
136
00:04:51,375 --> 00:04:53,335
Yeah, sure.
137
00:04:53,418 --> 00:04:55,498
-Thank you.
-Thank you.
138
00:04:55,587 --> 00:04:58,297
[footsteps echoing]
139
00:04:58,382 --> 00:05:00,382
[whispers]: Okay, move.
140
00:05:01,468 --> 00:05:03,218
What a sucker.
141
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:04,303
I know.
142
00:05:08,517 --> 00:05:11,097
For the master bathroom we wanted to give
143
00:05:11,186 --> 00:05:13,056
the clients a spa-like experience,
144
00:05:13,146 --> 00:05:15,856
so we went with
aqua and gold color scheme.
145
00:05:15,941 --> 00:05:18,191
We put in an infrared sauna,
146
00:05:18,277 --> 00:05:20,737
and we installed a Venetian marble tub
147
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,031
with 24-karat accents.
148
00:05:23,115 --> 00:05:26,155
Now on a personal note,
149
00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:28,293
we commissioned this mosaic,
150
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:29,910
utilizing rocks
151
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:31,617
from a nearby quarry.
152
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,247
We really think the client
153
00:05:33,333 --> 00:05:35,093
is gonna love this piece of art,
154
00:05:35,169 --> 00:05:37,959
as it symbolizes his personal journey.
155
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,683
Now, just...
156
00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:43,088
-follow us over here.
-Okay.
157
00:05:43,177 --> 00:05:44,967
-Uh-huh, that's good.
-And...
158
00:05:45,053 --> 00:05:47,313
Ta-da!
159
00:05:47,389 --> 00:05:48,969
Well, what do you think?
160
00:05:49,057 --> 00:05:50,267
First impressions?
161
00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:52,440
First impressions of what?
162
00:05:52,519 --> 00:05:54,559
Your new living room!
163
00:05:54,646 --> 00:05:56,266
It's not my living room.
It's not my house.
164
00:05:56,356 --> 00:05:59,736
This the first time
you're seeing it, so...
165
00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,698
how does it look?
166
00:06:01,778 --> 00:06:02,858
I don't know.
167
00:06:02,946 --> 00:06:04,156
Fine.
168
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,319
[stammers] Javi?
169
00:06:05,407 --> 00:06:07,277
How does it look in comparison
170
00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:09,197
to how it looked before?
171
00:06:09,286 --> 00:06:11,406
-Right.
-Before, yeah.
172
00:06:11,496 --> 00:06:13,366
-Different...
-Mm.
173
00:06:13,457 --> 00:06:14,747
-I guess.
-Okay!
174
00:06:14,833 --> 00:06:16,293
Well, hold on, hold on.
175
00:06:16,376 --> 00:06:17,786
Is there anything that you like about it,
176
00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,418
like, specifically?
177
00:06:19,505 --> 00:06:22,005
Yeah, I mean,
what's jumping out at you, huh?
178
00:06:22,090 --> 00:06:23,930
Are you falling in love
with anything, huh?
179
00:06:24,009 --> 00:06:25,639
-Yeah...
-I don't know.
180
00:06:25,719 --> 00:06:27,049
The paint?
181
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,677
Okay...
182
00:06:28,764 --> 00:06:29,974
Yeah, the paint's great.
183
00:06:30,057 --> 00:06:31,057
The paint's great...
184
00:06:31,141 --> 00:06:32,391
That chair is cool,
185
00:06:32,476 --> 00:06:34,346
I guess.
186
00:06:34,436 --> 00:06:36,226
-Yeah, okay.
-Yeah.
187
00:06:36,313 --> 00:06:38,233
-Listen, I got shit to do.
-Yeah.
188
00:06:38,315 --> 00:06:40,605
Yeah, sorry, Javi. Thank you, thank you.
189
00:06:40,692 --> 00:06:42,112
You two need to keep it quiet.
190
00:06:42,194 --> 00:06:43,784
-Uh-huh.
-Jefe's getting a massage.
191
00:06:43,862 --> 00:06:44,952
Yeah, no problemo.
192
00:06:45,030 --> 00:06:47,240
We're gonna vamanos, bye.
193
00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,540
[groans]
194
00:06:51,620 --> 00:06:53,660
That whole thing was a bust.
195
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,787
He was terrible on camera.
196
00:06:55,874 --> 00:06:57,844
Well, we all can't be Cricket Melfi.
197
00:06:57,918 --> 00:06:59,708
I'm erasing the whole thing.
198
00:06:59,795 --> 00:07:01,415
-Oh, yeah, that was a stinker.
-Yeah, let's see...
199
00:07:01,505 --> 00:07:03,915
[Jann humming]
200
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,506
What is this?
201
00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,564
Is that Rumualdo?
202
00:07:09,638 --> 00:07:11,058
-He looks so young.
-Yeah.
203
00:07:11,139 --> 00:07:12,599
MAN [in video]: Please, Rumualdo!
204
00:07:12,683 --> 00:07:14,603
I beg you, I beg you! I will pay you back!
205
00:07:14,685 --> 00:07:16,055
RUMUALDO: You're paying me back right now.
206
00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,064
MAN: No!
207
00:07:17,145 --> 00:07:19,145
[gunshots]
208
00:07:20,858 --> 00:07:22,898
What should we do?
209
00:07:22,985 --> 00:07:25,065
Wh--? I don't know. What can we do?
210
00:07:25,153 --> 00:07:27,073
Well, we have to do something.
211
00:07:27,155 --> 00:07:29,155
[tense music]
212
00:07:30,659 --> 00:07:31,989
Maybe Marco?
213
00:07:32,077 --> 00:07:33,537
-Marco?
-Yeah.
214
00:07:33,620 --> 00:07:35,500
You think he has better
screen presence than Javi?
215
00:07:35,581 --> 00:07:38,381
A wet fart has better
screen presence than Javi.
216
00:07:38,458 --> 00:07:39,958
-Good point.
-We just saw that.
217
00:07:40,043 --> 00:07:42,673
Besides, Marco is a big fan of our work.
218
00:07:42,754 --> 00:07:45,344
He has always been very complimentary.
219
00:07:45,424 --> 00:07:47,634
[gasps]
And he has great cheekbones for TV.
220
00:07:47,718 --> 00:07:49,468
Marco!
14771
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