Original subtitles

(tape crackling)

(muffled whimpers)

CRICKET: What is happening?!

RUMUALDO: I figured you'd be very hungry.

Chuy makes the most unbelievable lobster omelet.

He is a magician with fresh claws.

Looks so yummy, but we're still a little, uh...

Mm, Marco, cut.

(exclaims)

-(whimpers) -Oh, yes, yes.

Ah, please meet my beautiful wife,

Fidelia Vasco.

Fidelia, meet the Melfis.

I've heard a lot about you two.

Thanks for having us in your lovely home.

Yes, yes. It is so nice.

And this view-- did you see that?

That is bananas, but, uh,

I see we have our work cut out for us.

And what do you mean by that?

No, just that, you know,

in the 30 seconds that I've been debagged,

it's clear that there's a lot of work to be done.

I mean, that couch over there,

for example, and those end tables-- what?

Danish modern for a beach house?

It's like I'm a castaway on Ikea island.

(both laughing)

I like that.

I chose Danish modern.

Fidelia studied interior design in Europe.

Paris, actually.

She's an accomplished designer.

I just thought she might want to collaborate with someone new.

Perhaps get some fresh ideas.

Yeah, I don't want to do any of that.

JANN: Yeah, well,

we haven't even seen the whole layout yet.

You know, just a teeny slice of a sliver.

Yeah... this...

I imagine, is the tiniest little corner of this beautiful...

You know, and we-we love a lot of Danish things...

The people...

JANN: Are the best.

CRICKET: The Great Dane dog...

Is that a cheese Danish?!

No way... What are the odds?

Let's dig into this lobster omelet, don't you think?

Yeah, yeah!

BOTH: Mmm!

JANN (mouth full): Wish we could talk more.

CRICKET: Mm-hmm.

Chuy, so much claw!

You were right.

You know, I was very impressed the way

Cricket opened up Diego's living room using the French doors.

It was, it made it very welcoming.

(chuckles) The French doors were my idea.

Yeah, see, I specialize in light sculpting.

For example, there's a wonderful natural light in this area.

But then these morose paintings suck up all the energy.

It's atrocious.

Ew!

(groans)

"Atrocious"?

These are original Delacroix on loan

from the Mexican National Gallery.

(stammers) And in a, uh, gallery,

they would, you know, look like the-the masterpieces they are

because of, uh, proper light sculpting.

(nervous laugh)

What the fuck is light sculpting?

(chuckles)

Does somebody have a secret passion

they're not telling me about?

Oh, I do a little songwriting.

A little recording.

(scoffs)

So, you record in this shoebox?

This, this is where you practice your craft?

It has very good acoustics.

The tile, nice sound.

I was in a band when I was a kid.

Now, it's just mostly a hobby.

What did you play?

Here. Let me see those hands.

You still have your callouses.

From your guitar, I assume?

Hey, I think you're being coy.

Yeah, you have artistic needs.

You think so?

As one artist to another,

I know so.

So I'm going to build you

a real-deal recording studio.

-Hmm... -Full mixing board,

studio monitors, soundproofing.

I've always wanted a recording studio, but you know,

-Fidelia... -Hey, hey!

This isn't about Fidelia.

This is about you.

So why don't you tell me exactly what you want for your studio.

Well, I've always wanted

-one of those big mixing... -(Jann shushing)

Tell me... with this.

♪ ♪

What are you doing?

Just give me a-a second.

(clears throat)

Is something wrong with you?

I-I-I'm...

just taking in the space. It's part of my process.

Okay, the good news is that

we have so much opportunity to fix it.

That's, that's the good news.

But I think we can both agree

that we got to start here.

This thing... it's got to go, right?

This armoire has been in my family for over a hundred years.

My great-grandfather carved it.

I see.

Well, at least we know who to send it back to, right?

(laughs)

Where are my manners?

Would you like some coffee?

Yeah, I lo-- I love coffee.

(guitar strumming)

You hate it.

Not only do I not hate it,

I love it, okay?

But I had a thought, okay?

(electronic beat accompanies guitar strumming)

(music stops)

What did you do?

I-If you don't like it, I can take it out...

No, no. You made it into a song.

Okay, thank God.

Look, it was ready to be born,

I just midwifed it.

"Midwife it"? How do you do that?

I'm a child of the '90s.

I thought it could use a little Ace of Base.

-"Ace of Base"? -Yeah.

Their first album was, like, huge for me.

It was a massive influence on my life.

I think they are Sweden's greatest export.

-Oh, absolutely, the best. -Yeah, yeah.

You're a very talented young man, you know?

I must confess that I always thought, you know,

I thought that Cricket was really the creative one...

Actually, I just left an off-Broadway production

that I wrote-- yeah, music and lyrics.

Which is very hard to do.

-A Broadway musical? -Yes.

I have a soft spot for Broadway musicals.

Really?

I've seen you before.

You have?

-No way! Where? -Mm-hmm.

My parents sent me to high school in America.

So I saw you everywhere.

With your socks and flip-flops

and cargo shorts.

Blaring your country music from your studio apartment

while scratching lotto tickets.

Yeah.

I've seen a thousand versions of you.

Well, the joke's on you, 'cause we don't even live

in that apartment anymore.

I'm gonna let you in on a little secret.

(whispers): I know you're a fraud.

Are you kidding me?

Did you even see what we did with Diego's house?

Oh, you mean the Playboy McMansion?

Yes.

Yes, my husband was very impressed.

Myself... not so much.

Let me make something very clear.

My husband may get his little inspirations from time to time.

I mean, he's hired three interior designers

to try to "renovate" my home.

But eventually, I got rid of all of them.

And I will get rid of you.

Just real quick-- I keep hearing the phrase "get rid of,"

and I just, I'm wondering...

-what...? -(man speaks Spanish)

Oh, qué bonitas flores.

Gracias, Abuelito.

De nada.

Señora.

CRICKET: Mm.

I always get my way.

-Well, I always... -(distant piano playing)

Did you hear that?

I don't know-- what was that?

Did you hear th--?

Did you hear that?

Hmm.

(piano playing gets louder)

JANN and RUMUALDO: ♪ Don't cry for me, Argentina ♪

♪ The truth is, I never left you ♪

♪ All through my wild days ♪

♪ My mad existence ♪

♪ I kept my promise ♪

♪ Don't keep your distance ♪

♪ I kept my promise ♪

♪ Don't keep your distance. ♪

-Hey! -Oh...

Good news-- Jann is gonna build me a recording studio.