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1
00:00:02,669 --> 00:00:04,129
DIEGO: Hey, hey, hey, hey!
2
00:00:04,213 --> 00:00:05,593
That is pure garbage. No, excuse me.
3
00:00:05,672 --> 00:00:06,972
I didn't have dinner, patrón.
4
00:00:07,049 --> 00:00:08,759
Yeah, well, that's not my fault, okay?
5
00:00:08,842 --> 00:00:11,432
Listen to me-- I can't always
let you eat junk food, man.
6
00:00:11,512 --> 00:00:12,642
I mean, what the...? Potatoes...?
7
00:00:12,721 --> 00:00:14,601
Do you want a heart attack?
8
00:00:14,681 --> 00:00:16,021
Dude, stop it, stop it.
9
00:00:16,099 --> 00:00:17,559
No, don't make me slap the hand.
10
00:00:17,643 --> 00:00:19,233
I'm sorry, we're not taking that.
11
00:00:19,311 --> 00:00:20,651
-I want them...
-I understand. Here you go.
12
00:00:20,729 --> 00:00:22,269
Of course you should eat something.
13
00:00:22,356 --> 00:00:24,226
-Here you go...
-Apples hurt my teeth.
14
00:00:24,316 --> 00:00:26,736
-[speaking Spanish]
-First of all, inside voice.
15
00:00:26,818 --> 00:00:28,568
Second of all, your teeth hurt
16
00:00:28,654 --> 00:00:30,244
because you're always eating sugar.
17
00:00:30,322 --> 00:00:32,572
Plus, we have an excellent dental plan,
cabrón.
18
00:00:32,658 --> 00:00:34,158
-Okay, why am I paying for it?
-[speaking Spanish]
19
00:00:34,243 --> 00:00:36,253
Why are you arguing with me
in front of people?
20
00:00:36,328 --> 00:00:37,618
-Okay, thank you so much.
-[speaking Spanish]
21
00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:39,084
Don't get sulky with me, cabrón.
22
00:00:39,164 --> 00:00:40,714
Okay? I don't like a sourpuss.
23
00:00:40,791 --> 00:00:42,331
-Patrón, I'm hungry.
-I can be the bad guy.
24
00:00:42,417 --> 00:00:43,917
I don't care, but it's for your own good.
25
00:00:44,002 --> 00:00:45,462
I can be the bad guy, you know?
26
00:00:45,546 --> 00:00:47,086
You'll thank me later.
27
00:00:47,172 --> 00:00:49,762
MARCO: Sí, sí, sí, sí.
28
00:00:49,842 --> 00:00:51,932
-[alert beeping]
-[Marco sighs]
29
00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:53,930
DIEGO: Seatbelts, please.
30
00:00:54,012 --> 00:00:55,262
-MARCO: Cabrón!
-And thank you.
31
00:00:55,347 --> 00:00:56,517
Seatbelts, please and thank you.
32
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:57,768
[Marco speaking Spanish]
33
00:00:57,850 --> 00:00:58,890
DIEGO: Okay? We're not animals.
34
00:00:58,976 --> 00:01:01,136
KISS FM 98.1, please.
35
00:01:01,228 --> 00:01:03,438
The oldies, you know I like that.
36
00:01:03,522 --> 00:01:05,522
[engine starts]
37
00:01:06,775 --> 00:01:09,145
[muffled sobbing, murmuring]
38
00:01:11,738 --> 00:01:12,908
CRICKET: Shh, shh, shh, shh.
39
00:01:12,990 --> 00:01:14,490
JANN: I'm scared.
40
00:01:14,575 --> 00:01:15,615
CRICKET: I know. Me, too. I love you.
41
00:01:15,701 --> 00:01:16,951
JANN: Save me.
42
00:01:17,035 --> 00:01:18,245
CRICKET: Shh. It's okay.
43
00:01:18,328 --> 00:01:20,458
-Save me...
-Shh, I got you.
44
00:01:20,539 --> 00:01:21,539
I got you.
45
00:01:21,623 --> 00:01:23,833
[both whimpering]
46
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,341
[ominous music]
47
00:01:29,423 --> 00:01:31,383
♪
48
00:01:36,346 --> 00:01:37,466
-No puedo.
-Thank you for trying.
49
00:01:37,556 --> 00:01:38,806
-Sí.
-[Jann whimpering]
50
00:01:38,891 --> 00:01:40,021
Thank you for trying. [speaks Spanish]
51
00:01:40,100 --> 00:01:41,480
[Cricket shushing]
52
00:01:41,560 --> 00:01:43,100
CRICKET: Don't cry, my love.
53
00:01:43,187 --> 00:01:44,307
Listen, we did it.
54
00:01:44,396 --> 00:01:46,226
We reached our dream.
55
00:01:46,315 --> 00:01:48,225
JANN: I don't regret a single step
56
00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:49,647
of this journey with you.
57
00:01:49,735 --> 00:01:51,645
Oh, honey, your hands are so cold.
58
00:01:51,737 --> 00:01:53,487
CRICKET: Well, y-you're not touching
my hand, sweetie.
59
00:01:53,572 --> 00:01:54,912
-[Jann exclaims]
-What? What?!
60
00:01:54,990 --> 00:01:57,620
-Oh, no! Dead...
-Dead hands? Dead hand?!
61
00:01:57,701 --> 00:02:00,001
Excuse me, do you know there's
someone else back here?
62
00:02:00,078 --> 00:02:00,998
Someone dead!?
63
00:02:01,079 --> 00:02:02,289
Oh. Oh, yes, I'm very aware.
64
00:02:02,372 --> 00:02:03,792
Thank you very much. Yeah.
65
00:02:03,874 --> 00:02:06,214
Coincidently, it's the reason
why Javi's a little cranky poo.
66
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:08,303
You know, eh, he was gonna
have to dig one hole,
67
00:02:08,378 --> 00:02:10,758
and now it's three, so...
you can understand, I'm sure.
68
00:02:10,839 --> 00:02:13,219
[Jann and Cricket crying]
69
00:02:13,300 --> 00:02:14,550
Rest easy, my love!
70
00:02:14,635 --> 00:02:16,505
We've had big, full lives.
71
00:02:16,595 --> 00:02:19,385
JANN:
Yes, but no one will ever see our video.
72
00:02:19,473 --> 00:02:22,273
I mean, all that work
and we'll never get to submit it.
73
00:02:22,351 --> 00:02:24,101
That's what haunts me.
74
00:02:24,186 --> 00:02:26,186
CRICKET: Uh, excuse me, up in the front.
75
00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,401
Uh, yes, you in the back. [laughs]
76
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,322
CRICKET: Is there any chance you made
77
00:02:30,400 --> 00:02:33,320
a copy of our video,
maybe just, you know, for posterity?
78
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,703
Oh, you mean the last evidence
of you two alive?
79
00:02:35,781 --> 00:02:37,951
Um, I don't think I'd like
to have that in my possession.
80
00:02:38,033 --> 00:02:39,163
Thank you very much. [chuckles]
81
00:02:39,243 --> 00:02:40,543
Like, what am I, stupid?
82
00:02:40,619 --> 00:02:42,119
No, no, no. So, no. The answer is no.
83
00:02:42,204 --> 00:02:43,334
No, that's gone.
84
00:02:43,413 --> 00:02:45,083
We have a crew stripping
the house right now.
85
00:02:45,165 --> 00:02:46,495
-They're burning the computers.
-CRICKET: Oh...
86
00:02:46,583 --> 00:02:47,963
JANN [crying]: Oh, God!
87
00:02:48,043 --> 00:02:49,553
If an artist dies before
88
00:02:49,628 --> 00:02:51,588
the world gets to see his masterwork,
89
00:02:51,672 --> 00:02:53,762
is he truly an artist?
90
00:02:53,841 --> 00:02:55,181
CRICKET: Listen to me.
91
00:02:55,259 --> 00:02:56,719
I saw your art.
92
00:02:56,802 --> 00:02:58,392
I see the artist.
93
00:02:58,470 --> 00:03:00,680
And I see you.
94
00:03:00,764 --> 00:03:02,984
JANN: And I see you, my love.
95
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,438
You can't see fucking shit
with those bags on your heads!
96
00:03:05,519 --> 00:03:06,809
Shut up.
97
00:03:06,895 --> 00:03:08,805
[Jann whimpering]
98
00:03:08,897 --> 00:03:11,817
Javi, cabrón, too much, man.
99
00:03:11,900 --> 00:03:13,440
[both crying]
100
00:03:13,527 --> 00:03:15,107
-Find your center, like we talked about.
-Mm-hmm.
101
00:03:15,195 --> 00:03:17,195
And deep breath, okay?
102
00:03:17,281 --> 00:03:18,491
Uno, dos y tres.
103
00:03:18,574 --> 00:03:19,584
[both inhale deeply]
104
00:03:19,658 --> 00:03:20,988
[speaking Spanish]
105
00:03:21,076 --> 00:03:22,656
[exhales slowly]
106
00:03:22,744 --> 00:03:24,124
I'm not hearing your breath, Javi.
107
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,334
[Javi exhales]
108
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,584
There we go.
109
00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:28,205
That's a release.
110
00:03:28,292 --> 00:03:30,292
[Jann whimpering]
111
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:35,218
Out of the car!
112
00:03:35,299 --> 00:03:37,129
Let's go.
113
00:03:37,217 --> 00:03:38,927
JANN: No. No. No! No!
114
00:03:39,011 --> 00:03:40,141
No, no, n-no!
115
00:03:40,220 --> 00:03:42,430
Please, no. No!
116
00:03:42,514 --> 00:03:44,064
CRICKET: I love you!
117
00:03:44,141 --> 00:03:46,061
[whimpering]: I love you.
118
00:03:46,143 --> 00:03:48,063
[tense music]
119
00:03:48,145 --> 00:03:50,145
♪
120
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,529
You know, I like my house.
121
00:03:57,613 --> 00:04:00,873
I do, but I don't love my house.
122
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:02,579
The only reason why
I bought it to begin with
123
00:04:02,659 --> 00:04:03,829
was because of all the windows.
124
00:04:03,911 --> 00:04:04,951
Look, windows everywhere.
125
00:04:05,037 --> 00:04:07,407
Somehow, never any natural light.
126
00:04:07,497 --> 00:04:08,537
So frustrating.
127
00:04:08,624 --> 00:04:10,254
Explain that to me, you know?
128
00:04:10,334 --> 00:04:12,214
And... [speaks Spanish] "Flow"?
129
00:04:12,294 --> 00:04:14,384
When you walk into a place,
and you feel, like, an energy,
130
00:04:14,463 --> 00:04:15,513
like, a vibe, like...
131
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,419
-Feng shui.
-Feng shui, yes!
132
00:04:17,508 --> 00:04:20,298
The feng shui has always been very jerky.
133
00:04:20,385 --> 00:04:21,545
Not into it.
134
00:04:21,637 --> 00:04:23,557
Oh, huh.
135
00:04:23,639 --> 00:04:25,309
Oh, and you best believe
I want a wine cellar.
136
00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,640
[laughs] A big one with one of those,
137
00:04:26,725 --> 00:04:28,135
you know, bottle openers
that you press the button,
138
00:04:28,227 --> 00:04:29,647
and it comes out--
you got me hooked, mister.
139
00:04:29,728 --> 00:04:31,728
Eh, pardon me, Mr....?
140
00:04:31,813 --> 00:04:33,693
How rude of me. I'm so sorry.
141
00:04:33,774 --> 00:04:35,074
Diego-- please call me Diego.
142
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:36,530
-Yes, uh, Diego.
-Mm-hmm.
143
00:04:36,610 --> 00:04:39,200
Why are you telling us this?
144
00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:42,029
Ah!
145
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:43,945
Because that, cabrón,
146
00:04:44,034 --> 00:04:46,044
is how you're gonna pay me back the money
147
00:04:46,119 --> 00:04:47,869
that you stole from me.
148
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,785
-With interest.
-You want us to
149
00:04:49,873 --> 00:04:51,923
hop on over to the Pottery Barn
150
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,420
and get you a wine opener?
151
00:04:55,504 --> 00:04:57,424
[laughs] No, silly.
152
00:04:57,506 --> 00:04:59,626
You're gonna renovate my house.
153
00:04:59,716 --> 00:05:01,676
I-I-I don't understand.
154
00:05:01,760 --> 00:05:02,970
[stammers]
155
00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:04,473
Do you realize what you did?
156
00:05:04,555 --> 00:05:08,225
You renovated a meth lab...
157
00:05:08,308 --> 00:05:09,558
an abandoned meth lab.
158
00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:11,193
And you made that place into paradise
159
00:05:11,270 --> 00:05:12,520
for $500,000.
160
00:05:12,604 --> 00:05:13,864
Grand scheme of things?
161
00:05:13,939 --> 00:05:15,439
That's not a lot of money, you know?
162
00:05:15,524 --> 00:05:18,744
I mean, you still have
to pay it back, of course.
163
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,739
[inhales deeply] But I thought to myself,
164
00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:23,911
what could these gringos do
with a real budget
165
00:05:23,991 --> 00:05:26,411
and a house with good bones? [sniffles]
166
00:05:26,493 --> 00:05:28,123
You know... dream with me.
You know, let's envision.
167
00:05:28,203 --> 00:05:29,913
-Let's envision this.
-Uh-huh.
168
00:05:29,997 --> 00:05:32,207
Ah... [speaks Spanish]
169
00:05:32,291 --> 00:05:33,671
Okay...
170
00:05:33,750 --> 00:05:36,420
so we renovate your house and...
171
00:05:36,503 --> 00:05:38,383
then you let us live?
172
00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,973
Like, to be perfectly honest, like, maybe.
173
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,549
It depends on how good your design is.
174
00:05:43,635 --> 00:05:45,385
Uh, hey, what's that game
that they should be playing?
175
00:05:45,470 --> 00:05:46,560
No, don't tell me. No...
176
00:05:46,638 --> 00:05:48,468
Design It or Die! [laughs]
177
00:05:48,557 --> 00:05:50,177
I can't take credit.
178
00:05:50,267 --> 00:05:51,937
That was all Javi,
and that was a good one.
179
00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,519
Can I talk to you a minute, carnal?
180
00:05:53,604 --> 00:05:54,774
Oh, excuse me, please. Of course.
181
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,065
One minute, one minute. Over here...
182
00:05:57,149 --> 00:05:59,609
We have to figure out
a way to get out of this.
183
00:05:59,693 --> 00:06:01,783
-He's gonna kill us.
-We can't run--
184
00:06:01,862 --> 00:06:04,362
that big, tall, skinny one's
staring right at us.
185
00:06:04,448 --> 00:06:05,618
Just shh, just shh.
186
00:06:05,699 --> 00:06:07,329
Pull it together.
187
00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:33,021
Forgive me. How rude. [laughs]
188
00:06:33,101 --> 00:06:35,311
So, what do you say--
are you ready to play
189
00:06:35,395 --> 00:06:37,975
Flip it and Gone with Cricket and Jann?
190
00:06:38,065 --> 00:06:40,935
Understand, the "gone" part
does not apply to you.
191
00:06:41,026 --> 00:06:42,526
You're never leaving México.
192
00:06:42,611 --> 00:06:44,451
We're in Mexico?
193
00:06:44,530 --> 00:06:45,660
DIEGO: Oh! [sputters]
194
00:06:45,739 --> 00:06:47,029
Muchachos, how rude.
195
00:06:47,115 --> 00:06:48,155
Bienvenidos a México.
196
00:06:48,242 --> 00:06:49,282
Welcome.
197
00:06:49,368 --> 00:06:50,448
Thank you...[stammers]
198
00:06:50,536 --> 00:06:51,996
-Gracias.
-De nada.
199
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:53,999
So... what do you think?
200
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:55,421
Be honest with me. I can take it.
201
00:06:55,499 --> 00:06:56,749
Um...
202
00:06:56,834 --> 00:06:57,964
I-I'm sorry.
203
00:06:58,043 --> 00:07:00,463
[speaking in Spanish]
204
00:07:00,546 --> 00:07:02,626
Watch your pinkies, watch your pinkies,
watch your pinkies!
205
00:07:02,714 --> 00:07:06,184
I need these hands, you know,
for-for my purposes. [chuckles]
206
00:07:10,889 --> 00:07:13,889
Well, for starters, you're gonna
want to get rid of this gravel,
207
00:07:13,976 --> 00:07:15,516
and put in a proper driveway.
208
00:07:15,602 --> 00:07:18,482
It's like telling your guests to fuck off.
209
00:07:18,564 --> 00:07:20,734
Oh!
210
00:07:20,816 --> 00:07:22,436
Want better energy flow?
211
00:07:22,526 --> 00:07:25,106
You're gonna want to get rid
of these monstrosities.
212
00:07:28,365 --> 00:07:30,655
These shutters give me diarrhea.
213
00:07:34,621 --> 00:07:36,501
Where are you living, Shreveport, huh?
214
00:07:36,582 --> 00:07:39,462
Is they a hurricane a-comin'?
215
00:07:39,543 --> 00:07:40,713
[shutter crashes]
216
00:07:44,590 --> 00:07:46,300
Whoa, wow...
217
00:07:46,383 --> 00:07:48,143
My God, it's better than the show.
218
00:07:48,218 --> 00:07:49,928
-[glass shatters]
-It is better than the show.
219
00:07:50,012 --> 00:07:51,562
CRICKET:
Single-pane windows?!
220
00:07:51,638 --> 00:07:52,808
Are you shitting me?!
221
00:07:52,890 --> 00:07:54,020
[windows crashing]
15356
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