Original subtitles

Previously on This Is Us...

Beth, I want to adopt a baby.

I realize I didn't come to New York to be in a hit play.

I came to New York to win back my girl.

Hello. Hey, Kevin, it's Ron Howard.

I'm prepping a movie right now that I'm gonna direct.

It shoots in Los Angeles.

You would be perfect.

I know what I want to do.

- I want to sing. - Hmm.

- Whoa! What the hell was that? - Sorry.

Don't punish her because I crossed the line.

- Hey, Bec? - What'd you say?

Hey, hey, come on. Come on.

Jack!

I think you should go stay with Miguel for a while.

Things not said, advice not given,

envelopes unstamped, regrets enveloping me.

Is it easier there? I wonder.

I ponder, I guess... Yes.

I guess, yes.

What's Mom doing back?

Do you think of me as I do of you, my son?

My son.

My... son.

You're a cutie, aren't you?

Oh, you're the cutest baby in the world.

Yes, you are. Yes, you are.

Oh, my goodness.

- Randall? - Yes.

We've really got to get our day going, Randall.

Oh, of course. Sorry.

No. All this talk about adoption is giving me baby fever, right?

♪ I got baby fever ♪

♪ He got baby fever... ♪

Okay, that's gonna have to do it for today, buddy.

Yeah, you're right. Sorry.

Happy birthday, Randall.

Thanks, guys. It's gonna be a great year.

The things you'll do, I'll never know.

The pain.

The secrets.

Mom, where's Dad?

- What's wrong? - Nothing's wrong.

Everything's fine. We're gonna sit down

and explain everything to you guys.

Oh, to be given a chance,

a start, the restart,

the fresh start.

The crowd goes wild!

You are gonna crush this audition, babe.

- You're gonna crush it. - Oh, you think?

Oh, man. All right.

That is so sweet.

Happy birthday to you.

Oh...

You ready?

- Make a wish. - Okay.

Aah!

- Ow, ow, ow, no, no. - Oh, my God, I'm so sorry.

Will love come for you, as it did for me?

Find you, wreck you,

save you, change you?

Sophie got carried away.

Baby, I love you,

and I wanted to bring you to the perfect place

and I wanted to say the perfect thing.

But I can't say the perfect thing

because you are the perfect thing.

So... what do you say?

Will you marry me?

And cut.

Very nice, very nice, Kevin.

I could feel the tennis ball welling up.

Really? So, when we film Emma's side,

we just... plop her down in there like that?

Well, it's a little more complex than just plopping,

but, uh, yeah.

Huh, I mean, technology, huh? It's crazy.

Yeah, it is, and you know what else is kind of crazy, Kevin?

♪ Happy birthday to you. ♪

And if life breaks for you

the way it would not break for me,

if love hunts you, finds you, captures you,

will you hold it tight...

nurture it, protect it?

Let's go. Come on.

I hope you will.

I hope you can.

What the hell is going on?

This father's advice is not required,

it has no call,

so instead I'll share some from another.

- Hi, sweetheart. - Hi, Dad.

It's better to have loved and lost

than to never have loved at all.

Your mom and I want to talk to you.

synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com*

Uh, your father and I thought

that it was important to be honest with you guys

about what's going on.

Ben... from the band,

was pretty inappropriate,

and your father came to surprise me,

and he got upset,

and I left the tour.

We had a pretty difficult night.

And now we're just taking a moment to...

- catch our breath. - Yeah.

- Catch your breath. - Yes.

What does that mean?

Are you getting a divorce?

- No, no, no. - Of course not.

- We... - No, no, we're just taking

- a couple of days for ourselves. - Yeah.

- I'm gonna go stay at Miguel's house. - Yes.

Okay?

- Well, I'll go with Dad. - Kate, stop.

- But, Dad... - Stop.

- Well, this is... - No, this is insane!

- Bug... - No. Are you...

Go ahead.

Would you give your mom and I a sec, buddy?

"Buddy."

They're gonna be fine.

We'll be fine.

- Bec... - Mm-mm. No, not yet.

I need to stop feeling so...

disappointed.

I need to feel something else first.

But we'll talk soon.

And some freshly squeezed orange juice, and voilà.

Eat up, monsters.

- Daddy? - Yeah, baby?

Happy birthday!

Happy birthday!

- Hey-yo! - Thank you, girls.

- Daddy? - Yeah, baby?

How come Mommy goes to work now,

and you stay home and are the girl?

Annie, who...

It is incredibly old-fashioned

and upsetting that you just said that.

It is perfectly normal for a mommy to go to work

and a daddy to stay at home.

Women can do anything. Look at Hillary Clinton.

Hmm?

She lost.

Yeah, but she almost won.

Just eat your breakfast.

Mmm. Smells good.

They're eating.

Who, Stacey Dash and Omarosa over there?

Yeah, they're chowing down.

- It good? - Mm-hmm.

Thank you.

You ready for this afternoon?

Yep.

It's gonna be the best birthday gift ever.

- Mm-hmm.

- I'm gonna go take a shower. - Okay.

- Hey. - Babe, hey.

You're not on a plane.

Why are you not on a plane?

It's-it's my mom.

She had a really bad morning,

and I just, I couldn't leave her.

Of course not. No.

How about now, though? She good? She good now?

She has MS, Kevin. She's never good.

I'm... I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

I'm just...

I'm tired and I'm sad,

and I'm gonna miss your birthday.

- It's fine. - No, it's not.

I wanted to be with you.

I wanted to be in L.A.,

and I wanted to see Kardashians.

Well, I was gonna take you to the

place where they get their smoothies.

Oh, stop. You're killing me.

Did I ruin your birthday?

No, of course not. It's not ruined.

The crew got me this cake.

A cake with my face on it.

Kind of cool.

Well, I should get back to her.

I'm so sorry, Kevin.

Well, listen, the Kardashians aren't going anywhere.

- Promise? - I promise. They're like gremlins.

By next week, there'll be, like, a bazillion more of 'em.

Okay.

I love you.

I love you.

Yeah, I... yeah, I c... I can't.

- Ready. - Okay.

If you don't think this looks good,

you have to tell me.

Now, the perfect situation for any man to be in.

Okay, you can look.

Schwing.

- Yeah? - Yeah.

They might not even ask you to sing.

I'm serious.

If that outfit has anything to say about it,

you are absolutely going to be the new lead female singer

of Yelp's 17th best reviewed wedding band

in Southern California.

- Well, I am down two sizes. - I know. And it shows.

You think you're so cute.

- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. - And you are.

You actually look like a young Bruce Willis.

Don't do that.

You cannot tell a man who went bald at 25

that he looks like a young Bruce Willis.

- It's too much. - No.

Do you know what the... sexiest thing about you is?

Yeah, my calves.

- Mm-mm. - Oh.

The sexiest thing about you

is how sexy you make me feel.

- Mm-hmm. - Oh, I see.

Oh.

- Kate? - Oh, no!

- Hey. - Hey. Birthday girl.

Birthday boy. Where's Sophie?

Canceled. Mom.

- M.S.? - Yeah.

- You? Want to talk? - Disappointed. No.

Happy birthday.

I love it when you guys talk twin in front of me.

Hey, Kevbo.

- Yep? - Since Sophie is bailing,

does that mean... that we're gonna have

to cancel the double date tonight?

No.

- You... It's still our birthdays, Toby. - It's still our birthday.

My God, give me a break.

By the way, you're gonna love this place.

It's, like, the number one joint in town, okay?

I had to pull strings like frickin' Geppetto just to get in there.

- That's a Pinocchio reference. - Yeah. Yeah.

Geppetto was a woodworker.

Wasn't a... Never mind.

Let's take a look

- at the outfit. I want to see. - Yes. What do you think?

- It's great. I mean, you look... - Yeah?

Yeah, you're beautiful.

The only thing is, are you trying too hard?

- It's just a question I had. - No.

I don't know. You don't want to be

the girl in the room that's trying too hard.

- Yeah. - Uh, we like the outfit, so...

Okay, I have a backup.

- What? I wanted... I wanted... - Come help me, please.

I'll be right back. Gonna help her with this real quick.

So glad I gave you that extra key in case of emergencies, Kev.

The key was for emergencies!

And the she says she's too disappointed to talk.

She says, "Soon. We'll talk soon."

And then she just...

leaves.

Oof.

"Oof."

That's what I get?

You're supposed to be a guy who says things,

and-and I get "Oof."

You make each other better.

You're gonna be fine.

Yeah, she's gonna call.

- 'Course. - Today.

- Mm-hmm. - Yeah, that phone is gonna ring,

and I'm gonna be home before tonight.

We've got some things to work on, yeah, sure,

of course, but... it's okay.

Hey, no sheets.

Look... sheets are for long-term guests.

I'm not a long-term guest.

Okay.

Hey, look, I'm gonna pop into the office,

get a jump on the week.

Why don't you come?

It'll take your mind off things.

Nah, I just want to be alone.

- Okay. - Yeah.

It's all yours, man.

Hey. Thanks.

For saying the thing.

Sorry about the "Oof."

She's gonna call.

So... how was the party? Hmmm?

What the hell?

- We're gonna go to the movies. - I don't want to...

We're gonna go to the movies.

We're gonna go see the one with Tom Hanks

at the dollar theater, and we're gonna...

give ourselves over to Tom Hanks and he's gonna make us feel

so much better about the mind-blowingly upsetting crap

that's going on in our heads.

Yeah? Great.

It's gonna be fun.

Now, obviously, what makes private adoption unique

is that you are paired with an expectant mother

who has already committed

- to put her newborn up for adoption. - That's perfect.

I was a newborn myself when my parents found me.

It's perfect. Right?

It's common in these situations

for one spouse to be the dragger and one to be the drag-ee.

It's important to communicate,

because... fair warning...

this process will really get up in your business.

"Get up in there."

That's what she said.

- Uh... - Fingerprints, background checks.

We'll be interviewing both your daughters

to get a sense of their feelings.

We haven't told the girls yet,

but they're gonna love it.

- A little brother... - Or little sister.

Or brother. Hey, is that something we can request?

I mean, I love me some headstrong sisters,

but they run pretty deep in my house, if you know what I'm saying.

He wants a boy.

He wants to adopt a little boy,

because he was a little boy when he was adopted.

Yeah. I mean, I guess that's part of it.

He wants to honor his two fathers by replicating

the exact same situation he had.

Well, I don't know if I would put it that...

Hey, Mary, let me ask you. You have any kids

laying around that were left at a fire station?

'Cause that might really scratch my husband's itch.

Well, as you can see, we're not afraid of honest, open communication.

Are you fake smoking?

Yes.

Do you not want to adopt?

- Does it matter what I want? - Hey.

We only ever talk about what you want, Randall.

You want to adopt.

You want to honor your fathers.

I know this has been a weird year for you,

and I am trying to be supportive,

but this is becoming, like...

a weird pattern.

Okay, I hear you.

We're partners, in everything.

But 37 years ago, my parents chose me,

and that's why I'm here with you right now.

This isn't going away for me, Beth.

You need to get your head around it.

Hey... Beth.

No. I'm not throwing down with you in an adoption parking lot.

- Can we just go... - Uh-huh.

All right, guys, there's a lot of you.

We're gonna be here into the night.

It may seem like overkill, but this is

a big opportunity.

Make sure you sign the sheet, and we'll call you.

Make it quick

and make it count.

I have no life.

- I am a freakin' ghost! - Oh, you know? That is...

- No, no, no, no. - Admit to me

that you hated the fact that

I had something happening for myself.

I hated that you lied about working with your ex-boyfriend.

No, that's total BS, Jack. You hated the fact

- that I was singing again. - I was fine with it!

- No, you didn't want me to have a career. - Career?

You are a 40-year-old woman singing covers in pubs!

That is not a career, Rebecca!

That is ridiculous!

- Want some? - Sure.

Thank you.

I think Randall's finally gonna make his move.

What's wrong?

Are you kidding me?

Mmm.

Could I have some, too?

- Mm-hmm. - Thank you.

- Hi, sweetheart. - Mommy.

Ooh. Happy birthday.

- Right there. - Mmm.

Beth's struggling with the adoption.

I thought that she was on board.

- Yeah, I did, too. - Oh.

How did you guys decide?

With me.

There was nothing to decide... the moment we saw you...

You knew.

That's a hell of a story, Ma.

One of my favorites.

I know you guys didn't have a perfect marriage.

You'd just lost a child, and you both just wanted me?

Right away? Just like that?

It's complicated.

That's something people say when they don't want to tell the truth.

That little guy, right there.

He wound up here.

Exact same place, exact same day.

Just... look at him, Bec.

Placed right there, right next to ours.

Can't you just feel it?

You know, can't you just... see it?

I said no.

But your father was so sure.

I was tired and I was grievin,

and he just kept pushing me.

He was so determined that you were meant to be.

Meant to be ours.

Sometimes, in marriage,

someone has to be the one to push to make the big moves.

And oftentimes in our marriage, yes, it was your father.

Our marriage wasn't perfect, it's true.

But none are.

And your father wasn't perfect, either.

But he was pretty damn close.

As close as they come.

He pushed... a stranger on me.

And that stranger became my child.

And that child became my life.

He became you.

Road tripping to Memphis like teenagers.

You're gonna be the death of me, old man.

I can get a bit bullheaded when I want something bad.

Don't think that I ever thanked you for taking me in.

Oh, you definitely did not.

You know he brought you home without even asking me?

First you.

Then his brother.

He wanted something and then he just...

went ahead and did it.

Bullheaded.

Like father, like son.

Well, I'll take that compliment.

Take that compliment any day.

Didn't turn out so bad, though, huh?

Things that he pushed on you?

No, you're all right, old man.

Could have done without the Manny in my basement

for a year, but you're all right.

So you like my spot, huh?

Yeah, I do.

I like to come here.

Reminds me of home.

Reminds me of me.

A little less fancy than your neighborhood.

A little less white.

Yeah, there's that, too.

Come on, you've got to give me something.

Did any of the other girls sing Sinead?

What did they say when you were done?

Come on, I have been

on the edge of my seat all day.

I don't know, it was just

regular audition stuff.

- Wow. - Okay.

Oh, my God.

Um, excuse me.

Is this the, uh...

is this the hottest restaurant in town?

I bought the whole place out.

It's a birthday dinner.

- Come on. - This is nice.

- It's cool, right? - Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, wait, do you want your sister

to sit across from you, next to you,

or just straight in your lap?

Across from me is fine.

- Sorry. - Sit down.

That gentleman right there, that is Aito.

He is a genius.

He's from Top Chef, or Iron Chef,

or Amazing Race.

You are a TV star, Aito!

The guy loves me.

- Oh, wow, look at that. - Thank you.

Oh, there's a... a wine for every fish.

Okay, I'd like to make a toast.

- Yep. - To the birthday girl.

- And the birthday boy. - Thank you.

Yeah.

I would just like to say

that I am very proud of you.

So, cheers.

You know what, Tobe? I actually didn't go

to the audition... I bailed before I even got in the room.

What? Why, after all that hard work?

I know. Believe me, I felt

the same way when she told me earlier.

- When she... - But... yeah.

But let me tell you, you don't know

what it's like being in those rooms

Man, it's horrible. You know how many times I've walked into a room

and I wanted to bail when I saw James Marsden ready to read?

Wow. Really?

You told...

Okay, wow. Um...

Toby... Toby.

- Hey. - Hey.

Went to see my mom.

Okay.

You know she didn't want to adopt me at first?

My father pushed.

I love my parents.

I loved them together.

But I don't want to be them.

My mother said there's no such thing

as a perfect marriage.

But on that, I have to disagree with my mother.

I didn't think that was allowed.

Today I'm allowing it.

Because we're perfect, Beth.

And I know this, you see, because I'm a perfectionist.

So that's kind of my bag, you know?

Been chasing after it my entire life.

Perfection.

And I fail... and I fail, and I fail and...

the failure leads to self-doubt

and self-loathing, and it's all...

And all this other crap I got

muddled up inside here.

But when it comes to you and me...

baby, there ain't nothing muddled there.

We are perfect together.

We are perfectly imperfect.

And I didn't even know that was a thing.

You see, we don't follow one another, Beth.

We don't push our own plans on each other.

We adjust our plans together.

And if I can't adjust to you, then...

...then I have to figure out another way to do this.

I'll volunteer somewhere,

I'll... Yes, ma'am?

Can I take you somewhere?

Where?

I want to adjust your perfect plan.

Is it "perfectly imperfect"?

- Right? - Yeah.

I like that.

- We open at 8:00. - I was just...

You know, my wife, she sang here a few months back.

Rebecca Pearson?

She sang with a jazz band?

Brunette. She's a knockout.

Good for her. We open at 8:00.

The thing is, she's not with the band anymore.

She's going solo, and I thought maybe you'd...

you'd like to book her for a solo gig,

considering how well she did the first time around.

Is this for real?

Are you for real right now?

Look, come on, I could pay you.

I'll pay you to give her a monthly gig.

You know, just... once a month.

- You know, something that... - Hey, hey, hey, pal...

you're embarrassing yourself and your wife.

We're booked months in advance,

we don't do solo acts, I've got nothing for you.

Okay, thanks. Thanks for the trouble.

- Dude, just... - Come on, hey, listen, man.

She didn't want to disappoint you.

Do you understand? And, hey, listen,

I know I overdid it with the dinner.

My fault, okay, but I was trying

to take her mind off of the audition.

That is not your job, Kevin.

That's the point, it's not your job, okay?

I-I... She's going to be my wife.

I'm supposed to be her person.

Not you. All right? I'm the one who's supposed

to cheer her up, I'm the one who's supposed

to buy her birthday dinner.

Then buy the dinner!

- Split the dinner with me. - I can't...

I can't afford this crap!

Okay? And I hate that you pay for meals while we're out, every time.

What is that? You're not her father, Kev.

And you're not her husband.

Okay, stop right there. Do not tell me how to take care of my sister.

I've been taking care of her for a really long time.

Yeah, and how well is that working out for her?

Just fine, thank you vey much.

Yeah? She doesn't need to be coddled. She needs to be pushed.

Stop it! Both of you.

I'm a 37-year-old woman.

And I shouldn't need to be pushed or coddled.

Not by a man, not by a husband,

not by a brother, not by anyone.

I don't even know what you're saying right now.

- Just... - Ugh...

Where are you going?

Back to the audition

to wipe the floor with those bitches.

That's where I'm going. And don't follow me.

Well, you heard her, so...

Don't do it.

- Don't... - I'm...

Don't, do...

Man, she's my ride.

You have to give me a ride.

Come on, get in the car. Get...

How do you... I don't even...

You reach under the thing, and you...

Happy birthday.

Thank you.

I had it bound for you.

This was his favorite spot.

I've been coming here almost every day,

trying to figure out how I can give you what you want.

Trying to wrap my head around it.

And I know you have this notion in your mind,

this notion of a perfect little newborn

that we could shape and mold from scratch,

like Play-Doh, but...

Randall, if we're really gonna do this,

I think this is the way.

Your parents did something wonderful for you.

And because of that, you had a wonderful life.

But things could have been very different for you.

That could have been you.

If you really want to do this, if you really want

to risk our perfectly imperfect life for something,

let's go all the way.

Let's take in an older kid

who no one else in the whole damn world is gonna help.

Oh, sorry we're all done.

You have to let me audition.

I can do any song on your list.

I was here before, but I lost my nerve, and I'm a singer.

Well, I used to be more of one when I was kid, but...

Fine. Which song?

- "Nothing Compares 2 U." - Let's go.

All right, guys, one more: "Nothing Compares 2 U."

Uh, I was also thinking

- that I could just... - Two, three,

four.

♪ It's been seven hours and 15 days ♪

♪ Since you took your love away ♪

♪ I go out... ♪

Thank you. Thank you.

Okay.

- Talk to you tomorrow? - Mm-hmm.

No.

No.

You will not dismiss me like that.

And you will not dismiss me

because I don't look like that girl up there.

I know I'm not what you imagined,

but I will not walk out of this room and allow you

to just give this gig to a lesser singer

because she's a size two.

Because I've been living versions of that story

my entire life, and I can't do it anymore.

And I won't do it anymore.

Amber.

"Nothing Compares 2 U."

Two, three, four.

♪ It's been seven hours and 15 days ♪

♪ Since you took your love away ♪

♪ Since you been gone ♪

♪ I can do whatever I want. ♪

That's enough, thanks.

That's Amber.

She's our backup singer.

She was our lead singer,

but we demoted her because she wasn't good enough.

Your pitch is good, but your range is limited

and your falsetto blows; You're out of practice, right?

You can't waltz in here and compete with girls

who have been honing their craft at open mic nights

since they were 16 years old.

I-I don't care what dress size you wear.

It's... you're not good enough, honey.

Toby, she was the one that told me my father had died.

Uh, 17 years old, she had to be the one to tell me that.

She's not just my sister, Toby.

I'm not just her brother, we...

We've walked side-by-side through an entire life together,

and these things that we've experienced are...

you know.

I'm not that good an actor.

Uh, I'm not, I'm not-I'm not

really that good at anything, to be honest with you.

Uh, I'm always the guy in the room trying the hardest.

Being her brother, I...

I never had to try to be good at that,

you know? So...

I can't just cut the cord that quickly

'cause she met this amazing guy.

I know.

I do need you to stretch it a little bit.

I know.

Yeah.

That did not go well.

- Oh. - No, no, no, it's okay,

because it wasn't about my weight or my age,

it was about my lack of ability.

Which is fantastic. 'Cause I can do this.

I know I can do this.

Just gonna have to work my way up.

Hmm.

Well.

But, ooh, I need a drink.

Does anyone want a nightcap?

I... I'm-I got an early call.

So I'm gonna bail on the drink.

Okay.

- Happy birthday. - Happy birthday.

And, uh, I'll let you take it from here.

Drink?

And now, an addendum to my earlier advice,

if I'm so lucky as to still have your ear.

I loved you, I lost you.

And I advise you, 'twas better

than to never having had loved at all.

But now, with more years,

with more time, more perspective,

I see things in a slightly new way.

So here, my good son, is a father's advice,

updated and recalled.

It's better to have loved and lost, surely...

...but try not to lose it at all.

Jack?

- Hey, Jack?

Hi.

Hi.

So, I was trying to remember myself tonight, Jack.

The person I used to be.

And then I started remembering you, too.

And I'm not the only one who gave up on my dreams, Jack.

We both did, right?

And we, we realized an even bigger dream,

an even more massive dream.

And I'm... I'm still really upset,

and I don't think I'm ready to talk about any of that yet.

But...

I shouldn't have let you leave.

And not just because of all of the beautiful things you said,

I shouldn't have let you leave because that's not what we do.

That's not who we are, that's not us.

I know that, that's not us.

I know that I'm not deeply unhappy,

and I'm not unfulfilled, and you're not an alcoholic,

and you're not your father.

And even when I watch Tom Hanks,

I sit there and I think to myself,

"He's not so great."

And who does that?

Who watches Tom Hanks and thinks,

"You know what? I'm married to a man that's better than that."

Bec, you don't know everything about me.

- Yes, I do. - No.

- I know everything about you. - Rebecca, you don't know...

I'm drunk right now.

I have been drunk all day.

I have been drunk for weeks.

And I thought I had it under control, like the first time, but...

I have a problem, Rebecca.

And I've hidden it from you

for a very long time.

And I've-I've hidden it from our kids.

And I need to get a handle on it

before I can walk back into that house.

And I'm sorry,

baby, I...

...I am very embarrassed.

And I am very sorry.

But I need to fix this on my own.

Get in the car.

Get in the car, Jack.

You are my husband, and I am your wife,

and if you have a problem, we will fix it together.

I just need you to get in the car.

So we can go home.

Come on.

Come on, baby.

Okay.

I need you to get in the car.

I need you to get in the car.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Jack, look at me.

A few months from now,

everything will be back to normal.

I'm gonna get some pillows.

- We... we...

We have to find Kev.

He needs to hear it from me.

No...

synced and corrected by susinz *www.addic7ed.com*

How did you stop before Jack?

It was not easy.

I'm not going to overreact to everything she says this time.

You wanted to adopt and now you're Randalling out on me.

Ok stop making my name a thing.