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1
00:00:02,435 --> 00:00:05,337
Hmm, some news of our wedding,
I have sent you all
2
00:00:05,339 --> 00:00:06,705
a "save the date" e-mail.
3
00:00:06,707 --> 00:00:08,474
Oh, exciting.
You guys picked a date?
4
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:10,676
Better.
I picked 80 dates.
5
00:00:10,678 --> 00:00:11,810
And I need you
6
00:00:11,812 --> 00:00:13,946
to save them all until
we narrow it down.
7
00:00:13,948 --> 00:00:16,448
I thought we agreed
on June 15.
8
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:18,450
That's the day after Flag Day.
9
00:00:18,452 --> 00:00:20,586
Everyone'll be partied out.
10
00:00:21,921 --> 00:00:23,989
It's a date-- just pick one.
11
00:00:23,991 --> 00:00:26,725
It's not just a date-- it's a
textbook optimization problem.
12
00:00:26,727 --> 00:00:28,861
There is a perfect date--
just like there's
13
00:00:28,863 --> 00:00:31,463
a perfect room temperature
and a perfect dessert.
14
00:00:31,465 --> 00:00:33,399
Mm. There's no perfect dessert.
15
00:00:33,401 --> 00:00:34,900
Yellow cake
in the shape of a dinosaur
16
00:00:34,902 --> 00:00:37,069
with chocolate frosting,
a scoop of vanilla ice cream
17
00:00:37,071 --> 00:00:38,904
on the side, not touching.
18
00:00:38,906 --> 00:00:40,005
You'll see.
19
00:00:40,007 --> 00:00:42,307
You'll have it at our wedding.
20
00:00:43,043 --> 00:00:44,943
You wanna bet?
21
00:00:44,945 --> 00:00:46,145
SHELDON:
You give me
22
00:00:46,147 --> 00:00:47,679
enough time,
I can do the same thing
23
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:50,082
with a wedding date--
it needs to be on the weekend,
24
00:00:50,084 --> 00:00:51,884
uh, not near
any of your birthdays,
25
00:00:51,886 --> 00:00:53,318
or the weekend of Comic Con.
26
00:00:53,320 --> 00:00:55,087
Ooh, you could get
married at Comic Con.
27
00:00:55,089 --> 00:00:57,356
AMY and PENNY and BERNADETTE:
No!
28
00:00:57,358 --> 00:00:58,757
We just need
a weekend date
29
00:00:58,759 --> 00:01:00,359
that's completely
boring and uneventful.
30
00:01:00,361 --> 00:01:02,694
Too bad you didn't get
your ducks in a row,
31
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:05,864
'cause tonight
would have been perfect.
32
00:01:05,866 --> 00:01:09,134
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
33
00:01:09,136 --> 00:01:12,471
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
34
00:01:12,473 --> 00:01:14,239
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
35
00:01:14,241 --> 00:01:17,076
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
36
00:01:17,078 --> 00:01:19,678
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
37
00:01:19,680 --> 00:01:22,448
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
38
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,383
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
39
00:01:24,385 --> 00:01:26,251
♪ Bang! ♪
40
00:01:33,493 --> 00:01:35,661
(low whooshing)
41
00:01:35,663 --> 00:01:37,496
Good morning.
42
00:01:37,498 --> 00:01:39,064
Good morning.
43
00:01:39,066 --> 00:01:42,101
I know today is Apple Jacks day,
but... we're all out.
44
00:01:42,103 --> 00:01:45,003
That's fine.
I'll have anything.
45
00:01:45,005 --> 00:01:46,638
Really?
46
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:49,007
Yeah. You know...
47
00:01:49,009 --> 00:01:50,843
whatev.
48
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,278
"Whatev"?
49
00:01:53,280 --> 00:01:55,280
I like this side of you.
50
00:01:55,282 --> 00:01:57,149
You know what I like?
51
00:01:57,151 --> 00:01:59,485
Smooth jazz.
52
00:01:59,487 --> 00:02:02,688
(playing Chuck Mangione's
"Feels So Good")
53
00:02:05,825 --> 00:02:08,594
♪ ♪
54
00:02:12,765 --> 00:02:15,033
(singing melody
to "Feels So Good")
55
00:02:15,035 --> 00:02:17,169
(getting quieter):
♪ Da, da, da-da... ♪
56
00:02:17,171 --> 00:02:18,504
(loudly):
♪ Da, da-da-da ♪
57
00:02:18,506 --> 00:02:20,973
♪ Da, da, da... ♪
58
00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:23,342
Hey, just a reminder--
59
00:02:23,344 --> 00:02:25,777
I'm going out for
drinks after work.
Oh. Great.
60
00:02:25,779 --> 00:02:28,313
Just a reminder--
you're pregnant.
61
00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,850
I'm not drinking,
just taking a new coworker out.
62
00:02:31,852 --> 00:02:35,120
Oh. Just a reminder--
you're married.
63
00:02:36,122 --> 00:02:37,823
Female coworker.
64
00:02:37,825 --> 00:02:40,125
She's new in town, and I want
to make her feel welcome.
65
00:02:40,127 --> 00:02:42,528
And let her know
the office is full of liars
66
00:02:42,530 --> 00:02:45,330
before everyone
tells her I'm mean.
67
00:02:45,332 --> 00:02:46,765
Is she single?
68
00:02:46,767 --> 00:02:49,201
I'm not setting her up with Raj.
69
00:02:49,203 --> 00:02:50,702
What about Stuart?
Are you listening?
70
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:53,672
I want her to think
I'm not mean.
71
00:02:53,674 --> 00:02:55,574
Okay. Well,
it's just...
72
00:02:55,576 --> 00:02:57,576
we have two single friends.
73
00:02:57,578 --> 00:02:59,811
Howie, I just met this woman.
74
00:02:59,813 --> 00:03:02,347
Why don't I wait a little
and get to know her?
75
00:03:02,349 --> 00:03:04,783
Maybe I won't like her,
and then I'd be happy
76
00:03:04,785 --> 00:03:07,819
to ruin her life
with Stuart or Raj.
77
00:03:07,821 --> 00:03:10,255
(whispers):
That's all I ask.
78
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:15,327
So, you guys lived
with Sheldon for a long time...
79
00:03:15,329 --> 00:03:18,664
Long time.
So very long.
80
00:03:18,666 --> 00:03:20,933
By the way, congratulations
again on your engagement.
81
00:03:20,935 --> 00:03:24,403
Yeah. You got a good one.
82
00:03:24,405 --> 00:03:25,971
Thanks. So, it's strange,
83
00:03:25,973 --> 00:03:28,507
Sheldon was talking
in his sleep last night,
84
00:03:28,509 --> 00:03:30,876
and he seemed like
a totally different person.
85
00:03:30,878 --> 00:03:33,111
He was relaxed and...
86
00:03:33,113 --> 00:03:35,013
loose and calm.
87
00:03:35,015 --> 00:03:37,249
Well, Sheldon's
a complicated man.
88
00:03:37,251 --> 00:03:38,684
He said "whatev."
89
00:03:38,686 --> 00:03:41,720
Give him a brain scan--
that might be a tumor.
90
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,922
Well, I think
the wedding planning
91
00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:47,192
is really stressful for him, and
that can trigger sleep talking.
92
00:03:47,194 --> 00:03:49,294
Well, maybe this is a part
of Sheldon's personality
93
00:03:49,296 --> 00:03:50,696
he's been repressing.
94
00:03:50,698 --> 00:03:52,331
I mean, I think we
dream about things
95
00:03:52,333 --> 00:03:53,865
we wish we could
be in real life.
96
00:03:53,867 --> 00:03:55,734
Really? What do you dream about?
97
00:03:55,736 --> 00:03:59,104
Oh. Uh... being the
wife of Leonard.
98
00:03:59,106 --> 00:04:00,305
Mostly that.
99
00:04:02,342 --> 00:04:04,810
I choose to believe you.
100
00:04:04,812 --> 00:04:07,312
Well, as much as we've studied
the brain, there's still a lot
101
00:04:07,314 --> 00:04:09,047
we don't know about dreams
and their function.
102
00:04:09,049 --> 00:04:11,016
You know, even psychologists
are divided on it.
103
00:04:11,018 --> 00:04:13,352
Mm, it's true-- Freud
thought dreams were about sex,
104
00:04:13,354 --> 00:04:15,454
Adler thought they
were about dominance...
Then again,
105
00:04:15,456 --> 00:04:19,291
mine are just about being
married to this little guy.
106
00:04:19,293 --> 00:04:22,794
Well, now it's
just edging into mockery.
107
00:04:25,098 --> 00:04:27,766
Well, moving to a new city
was a little scary,
108
00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:29,334
but the job seems great.
109
00:04:29,336 --> 00:04:30,802
Everyone's really nice.
110
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:32,738
Oh, they are.
Super nice.
111
00:04:32,740 --> 00:04:34,840
I mean, only one them
took you out tonight--
112
00:04:34,842 --> 00:04:37,075
but it's not a competition.
113
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,176
Thanks again.
114
00:04:38,178 --> 00:04:40,312
You know,
we could have gone somewhere
115
00:04:40,314 --> 00:04:42,180
more pregnancy-friendly.
116
00:04:42,182 --> 00:04:44,149
Oh, it's okay.
One of the great things
117
00:04:44,151 --> 00:04:46,285
about being pregnant
is drinking cranberry juice
118
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:49,488
out of a wineglass
and watching people freak out.
119
00:04:49,490 --> 00:04:51,156
Bernie!
120
00:04:52,125 --> 00:04:53,725
Oh, damn.
121
00:04:54,794 --> 00:04:57,596
Hey! What are the odds?
122
00:04:57,598 --> 00:05:01,300
Yeah, seren-frickin'-dipity.
123
00:05:01,302 --> 00:05:02,467
Hello.
124
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:04,069
Rajesh.
Stuart.
125
00:05:04,071 --> 00:05:04,936
Hi. Ruchi.
126
00:05:04,938 --> 00:05:06,938
Ruchi is
my coworker.
127
00:05:06,940 --> 00:05:09,875
But that was probably
in your briefing packet.
128
00:05:12,679 --> 00:05:14,446
(door opens)
129
00:05:16,316 --> 00:05:17,616
Hi.
130
00:05:17,618 --> 00:05:18,817
Hello.
131
00:05:18,819 --> 00:05:20,185
What's wrong?
132
00:05:20,187 --> 00:05:22,688
Well, I found the
perfect wedding date.
133
00:05:22,690 --> 00:05:24,489
That's terrific!
No, it's not.
134
00:05:24,491 --> 00:05:29,261
It was May 19, 1996.
135
00:05:29,263 --> 00:05:30,996
We would have had
a lovely wedding.
136
00:05:30,998 --> 00:05:32,497
And our honeymoon
would have coincided
137
00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:36,034
with the first appearance
of the Hale-Bopp comet.
138
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:37,502
Sheldon, you were 16.
139
00:05:37,504 --> 00:05:40,138
And in Texas-- no one
would have batted an eye.
140
00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:41,840
Oh, wait, it's no good.
141
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,643
That's the day that Jon Pertwee,
the third Doctor Who, died.
142
00:05:44,645 --> 00:05:46,144
And it's in the past.
143
00:05:46,146 --> 00:05:48,680
Hey-hey, I said it's no
good-- just let it go.
144
00:05:48,682 --> 00:05:50,248
Sheldon...
145
00:05:50,250 --> 00:05:53,318
I appreciate you trying
to make this wedding perfect,
146
00:05:53,320 --> 00:05:55,721
but it's making
you miserable.
147
00:05:55,723 --> 00:05:57,789
No, the wedding isn't
making me miserable,
148
00:05:57,791 --> 00:05:59,191
the calendar is.
149
00:05:59,193 --> 00:06:01,493
Why can't there just be
one week each month
150
00:06:01,495 --> 00:06:04,029
for famous people to die?
151
00:06:04,031 --> 00:06:06,131
Well, they've already
arranged to die in threes--
152
00:06:06,133 --> 00:06:08,166
what more do you
want from them?
153
00:06:08,168 --> 00:06:11,636
This is so frustrating.
Why can't I find a perfect date?
154
00:06:11,638 --> 00:06:16,274
I found the perfect way to say
hi to cowboys. (clicks tongue)
155
00:06:16,276 --> 00:06:19,878
I'm just saying maybe there's
a part of you deep down that...
156
00:06:19,880 --> 00:06:22,481
just wants to relax
a little, you know?
157
00:06:22,483 --> 00:06:23,782
Kick back.
158
00:06:23,784 --> 00:06:26,385
Say, "Whatev."
159
00:06:26,387 --> 00:06:28,553
Whatev?
160
00:06:28,555 --> 00:06:31,223
I'm sorry, you're really not
gonna finish that word?
161
00:06:31,225 --> 00:06:33,692
I-I'm just trying
to make a point...
162
00:06:33,694 --> 00:06:35,260
Finish the word, Amy.
163
00:06:35,262 --> 00:06:37,329
Fine. Er.
164
00:06:38,498 --> 00:06:39,598
Er, er, er.
165
00:06:39,600 --> 00:06:40,932
Thank you.
166
00:06:40,934 --> 00:06:43,368
Only now you owe me
three more whatevs.
167
00:06:45,638 --> 00:06:47,606
Oh, you were born
in Trivandrum.
168
00:06:47,608 --> 00:06:50,709
Have you ever been
to the Kuthira Malika Palace?
169
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,010
No, I haven't.
170
00:06:52,012 --> 00:06:54,546
Me, either.
What a small world.
171
00:06:55,848 --> 00:06:57,382
I've also never
been there.
172
00:06:57,384 --> 00:06:59,418
I've never been
lots of places.
173
00:06:59,420 --> 00:07:01,253
Go on, quiz me.
174
00:07:01,255 --> 00:07:03,955
I'm sorry, we're being rude
talking about India.
175
00:07:03,957 --> 00:07:05,524
Oh, yeah, you know,
if you and Bernadette
176
00:07:05,526 --> 00:07:07,826
want to talk about America,
that's cool with us.
177
00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:09,261
Here, let me get you started.
178
00:07:09,263 --> 00:07:12,330
(American accent):
Hamburgers. Am I right?
179
00:07:13,800 --> 00:07:15,634
So, what do you guys do?
180
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,469
Well, I am an astrophysicist,
181
00:07:17,471 --> 00:07:21,106
so if you ever go out at night
and look up at the stars,
182
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,008
that's kind of my office.
183
00:07:24,010 --> 00:07:27,012
He sells comic books
to children.
184
00:07:27,014 --> 00:07:28,413
STUART:
Actually,
185
00:07:28,415 --> 00:07:30,715
I own my own store.
Uh, i-if you'd like
186
00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,518
to check it out sometime,
I'm running a new promotion--
187
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:37,522
buy anything, get taken out
for a reasonably priced dinner.
188
00:07:37,524 --> 00:07:40,926
Yeah, yeah, Stuart's
struggling financially.
189
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,561
But he doesn't let that
get him down.
190
00:07:42,563 --> 00:07:43,929
He believes in himself.
191
00:07:43,931 --> 00:07:45,831
Even though the whole world
has made it clear
192
00:07:45,833 --> 00:07:48,166
he should not.
193
00:07:49,836 --> 00:07:51,503
Thank you.
194
00:07:51,505 --> 00:07:53,672
A-And, you know, Raj,
I think it's great
195
00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:56,975
that you no longer live off your
parents like a spoiled child.
196
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:59,578
You live over someone's
garage like a...
197
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,147
failed adult.
198
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,182
Yeah, well,
you live with her.
199
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:06,184
Oh, it's not like that.
200
00:08:06,186 --> 00:08:08,320
He rents a room
from me and my husband.
201
00:08:08,322 --> 00:08:11,323
Who, by the way,
is no prize, either.
202
00:08:14,861 --> 00:08:16,962
Oh, I don't care.
203
00:08:16,964 --> 00:08:20,165
You know me--
I just go with the flow.
204
00:08:22,468 --> 00:08:24,970
Beach, public pool...
205
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:27,973
They both sound awesome.
206
00:08:29,242 --> 00:08:32,010
SHELDON (recorded):
On second thought, beach.
207
00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,913
I'd like to befriend a seagull.
208
00:08:35,748 --> 00:08:37,482
That is crazy.
209
00:08:37,484 --> 00:08:41,753
Yeah. Will you
e-mail that to me?
210
00:08:41,755 --> 00:08:43,321
Have you played
this for him?
211
00:08:43,323 --> 00:08:46,157
No. I'm worried he'll say
I violated his privacy.
212
00:08:46,159 --> 00:08:48,159
Listen how happy he sounds.
213
00:08:48,161 --> 00:08:50,195
I'm up for anything,
214
00:08:50,197 --> 00:08:53,331
as long as I'm with you.
215
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,701
What are you
listening to?
Nothing.
216
00:08:56,703 --> 00:08:58,904
Oh, come on,
I want to hear.
217
00:09:00,506 --> 00:09:03,008
We don't need GPS.
218
00:09:03,010 --> 00:09:06,278
Let's just see
where the road takes us.
219
00:09:07,113 --> 00:09:08,914
I see why you turned it off.
220
00:09:08,916 --> 00:09:10,982
That guy sounds like an idiot.
221
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,218
Honey, that's you.
222
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,388
Don't be silly.
My voice is deep and sonorous.
223
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:19,224
Like a Caucasian
James Earl Jones.
224
00:09:20,760 --> 00:09:23,929
"Luke, I am your father." See?
225
00:09:23,931 --> 00:09:25,263
It is you.
226
00:09:25,265 --> 00:09:27,699
I recorded you
in your sleep.
227
00:09:27,701 --> 00:09:30,135
Oh, look-- a hitchhiker.
228
00:09:30,137 --> 00:09:34,406
I bet he has
some interesting stories.
229
00:09:34,408 --> 00:09:36,675
That's me?
230
00:09:36,677 --> 00:09:37,676
It's you.
231
00:09:37,678 --> 00:09:40,178
So you spied on me in my sleep?
232
00:09:40,180 --> 00:09:41,513
Sheldon, I'm sorry.
233
00:09:41,515 --> 00:09:43,281
You've been doing
this every night.
234
00:09:43,283 --> 00:09:45,684
I couldn't help but wonder
if it meant something.
235
00:09:45,686 --> 00:09:46,685
Well, it doesn't.
236
00:09:46,687 --> 00:09:48,286
Are you sure?
237
00:09:48,288 --> 00:09:50,855
I mean, the prefrontal cortex
regulates impulse control.
238
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:52,357
So it's plausible
239
00:09:52,359 --> 00:09:54,626
that when we're asleep,
aspects of our personality
240
00:09:54,628 --> 00:09:56,361
that we repress might come out.
241
00:09:56,363 --> 00:10:00,065
Don't try to put science
lipstick on your New Age pig!
242
00:10:00,067 --> 00:10:01,800
And for the record,
243
00:10:01,802 --> 00:10:04,302
you make noises when you sleep,
and I've never accused you
244
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:06,271
of repressing
your inner chainsaw.
245
00:10:10,042 --> 00:10:12,010
If you want me to object
at your wedding,
246
00:10:12,012 --> 00:10:14,145
just give me one of these.
247
00:10:20,720 --> 00:10:23,555
This picture of Galactus
eating a planet looks like
248
00:10:23,557 --> 00:10:26,324
my preggo wife
destroying a coffee cake.
249
00:10:28,794 --> 00:10:31,129
(laughing):
Oh, yeah, I see it.
250
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:33,064
I'm just saying,
you should bow out.
251
00:10:33,066 --> 00:10:34,733
Why should I bow out?
252
00:10:34,735 --> 00:10:36,968
Uh, because we all know
how this is gonna end.
253
00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:40,639
That's what my doctor said,
too, but I'm still here.
254
00:10:42,742 --> 00:10:46,911
Okay, look, I think that
she and I have more in common.
255
00:10:46,913 --> 00:10:48,647
Because you're Indian?
256
00:10:48,649 --> 00:10:51,616
So just 'cause she's brown,
you get to date her?
257
00:10:51,618 --> 00:10:52,951
Yes!
258
00:10:52,953 --> 00:10:54,653
And the next time
we meet a woman
259
00:10:54,655 --> 00:10:57,489
who's pale and cadaver-like,
she's all yours.
260
00:10:58,624 --> 00:11:01,292
Howard,
Bernadette was there last night.
261
00:11:01,294 --> 00:11:02,994
Did she say anything
when she got home?
262
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:06,131
Yeah, she said, "Why'd you tell
those idiots where I was?
263
00:11:06,133 --> 00:11:07,499
Thanks a lot."
264
00:11:07,501 --> 00:11:09,901
Okay, how about
we flip a coin?
Look, hang on.
265
00:11:09,903 --> 00:11:12,337
Doesn't this girl get
a word in all of this?
266
00:11:12,339 --> 00:11:14,739
And isn't that word "no"?
267
00:11:14,741 --> 00:11:17,308
Ruchi said she wanted to
hang out with both of us.
268
00:11:17,310 --> 00:11:18,843
Why don't we
just do that?
269
00:11:18,845 --> 00:11:22,380
Oh, fine. Let's hang out
as friends and see what happens.
270
00:11:22,382 --> 00:11:25,116
Yeah, and if something grows out
of it, just worry about it then.
271
00:11:25,118 --> 00:11:26,851
Also what my doctor said.
272
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:33,491
Hey, this isn't
your laundry night.
273
00:11:33,493 --> 00:11:36,261
I know. Laundry
on a Wednesday.
274
00:11:36,263 --> 00:11:38,430
It's the madness
my life has become.
275
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:42,934
Why is this sleep-talking thing
bothering you anyway?
276
00:11:42,936 --> 00:11:44,135
It's simple.
277
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,804
I don't like the idea
278
00:11:45,806 --> 00:11:48,073
that my mind might be keeping
an entire personality from me.
279
00:11:48,075 --> 00:11:51,142
Dr. Jekyll's other
personality was Mr. Hyde.
280
00:11:51,144 --> 00:11:52,811
Mr. Hyde.
281
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:56,414
Didn't have
a postgraduate degree.
282
00:11:56,416 --> 00:11:58,383
Is it possible
that you're stressed
283
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,885
because you're scared
about getting married?
284
00:12:00,887 --> 00:12:02,554
I mean, it is
a big change,
285
00:12:02,556 --> 00:12:04,422
and you're not good
with little changes.
286
00:12:04,424 --> 00:12:06,424
Well, that's nonsense.
287
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:09,060
You name one little
change I was upset with.
288
00:12:09,062 --> 00:12:13,431
Uh, when they changed the green
Skittle from lime to apple.
289
00:12:13,433 --> 00:12:17,102
That is not the rainbow
I grew up tasting.
290
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,903
All right, fine.
Let's start over.
291
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:20,205
Is it possible
292
00:12:20,207 --> 00:12:22,307
that the sleep-talking
is a part of your brain
293
00:12:22,309 --> 00:12:24,142
that's telling you
everything's gonna be okay
294
00:12:24,144 --> 00:12:25,977
and you just need
to relax a little?
295
00:12:25,979 --> 00:12:30,749
So you're proposing that
the self is an illusion,
296
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:33,718
and that we actually
have multiple centers
297
00:12:33,720 --> 00:12:36,955
of consciousness that are
communicating with one another?
298
00:12:38,824 --> 00:12:42,026
In laymen's terms, yeah.
299
00:12:42,028 --> 00:12:43,895
Huh. Interesting.
300
00:12:43,897 --> 00:12:46,765
So you don't believe
there's a Cartesian self
301
00:12:46,767 --> 00:12:49,334
that underlies the
flux of experience?
302
00:12:49,336 --> 00:12:51,870
Maybe in my twenties,
not anymore.
303
00:12:53,305 --> 00:12:56,941
Okay. Well, assuming
you're right,
304
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,877
what would you suggest I do?
305
00:12:58,879 --> 00:13:01,045
Well, I would start
with something small,
306
00:13:01,047 --> 00:13:02,447
see if it makes
your life any better.
307
00:13:02,449 --> 00:13:05,750
Um, you can learn to meditate,
take a yoga class.
308
00:13:05,752 --> 00:13:09,888
Oh. You know, I have always
been intrigued by flip-flops.
309
00:13:11,891 --> 00:13:15,360
The official footwear of
the laid-back fellow.
310
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,295
Okay, sure.
Of course
if my feet
311
00:13:17,297 --> 00:13:19,998
are gonna be exposed, I'll need
to update my tetanus booster.
312
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,500
Oh, yeah. Makes sense.
Yeah. And while I'm there,
313
00:13:22,502 --> 00:13:25,770
I may as well get a flu
shot and a mole check.
Sure.
314
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:28,072
You know, I've never
had a mole check.
315
00:13:28,074 --> 00:13:29,774
Ooh!
316
00:13:29,776 --> 00:13:31,709
Well, it's been
nice knowing you.
317
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:36,114
Here you go.
318
00:13:36,116 --> 00:13:37,749
Thanks.
(chuckles)
319
00:13:37,751 --> 00:13:40,218
It's too bad Stuart couldn't
make it. He seemed fun.
320
00:13:40,220 --> 00:13:42,921
Oh, yeah, he is.
I love him dearly, yeah.
321
00:13:42,923 --> 00:13:45,523
Not to say
that I don't worry about him.
322
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:46,958
What's to worry about?
323
00:13:46,960 --> 00:13:48,960
You know what?
324
00:13:48,962 --> 00:13:52,030
I'm talking out of school.
325
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:55,667
Speaking of which, he's allowed
to live near them now.
326
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:58,636
Hey, guys.
327
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,271
Oh, great, Stuart.
You're here.
Yeah, Stuart.
328
00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,874
Yeah, I did... I didn't think
you were gonna make it.
329
00:14:02,876 --> 00:14:05,009
Mm. I believe that.
330
00:14:05,011 --> 00:14:06,477
(ringtone playing)
331
00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:08,680
Sorry, guys. It's work.
I've got to take it.
332
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,982
Oh.
I'm so glad you
made it, Stuart.
333
00:14:10,984 --> 00:14:13,818
Oh, yeah, so glad.
334
00:14:13,820 --> 00:14:16,120
I can't believe you
went behind my back!
335
00:14:16,122 --> 00:14:18,289
Which clearly means
I want this more!
336
00:14:18,291 --> 00:14:22,927
You want to play a game of
"who's more desperate" with me?
337
00:14:22,929 --> 00:14:26,397
'Cause you're in the
big leagues now, Bucko.
338
00:14:26,399 --> 00:14:28,466
L-Look, Ruchi and I
are really hitting it off.
339
00:14:28,468 --> 00:14:30,168
Please let me just
have this one!
340
00:14:30,170 --> 00:14:31,636
I'm not going anywhere.
341
00:14:31,638 --> 00:14:34,305
I'm like a fungus
you can't get rid of.
342
00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,807
Sorry.
343
00:14:35,809 --> 00:14:37,575
So what's
going on?
344
00:14:37,577 --> 00:14:39,444
Oh, you just missed
Stuart's funny story
345
00:14:39,446 --> 00:14:41,713
about the fungus
he can't get rid of.
346
00:14:41,715 --> 00:14:45,216
Raj didn't tell me
about tonight
347
00:14:45,218 --> 00:14:47,185
so he could be
alone with you.
348
00:14:47,187 --> 00:14:49,053
Really?
349
00:14:49,055 --> 00:14:50,455
That's a little weird.
350
00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:53,324
Just a little?
Because I can work with that.
351
00:14:53,326 --> 00:14:56,928
Look, guys, I'm not interested
in dating anyone right now.
352
00:14:56,930 --> 00:14:59,330
I'm just looking
to make some friends.
353
00:14:59,332 --> 00:15:01,132
Yeah, I totally understand.
354
00:15:01,134 --> 00:15:02,901
But if you were
gonna date someone,
355
00:15:02,903 --> 00:15:04,702
would it be me or Stuart?
356
00:15:04,704 --> 00:15:07,005
I think I'm gonna go.
357
00:15:07,007 --> 00:15:10,108
Uh, uh, uh,
uh, Ruchi, I'm sorry.
358
00:15:10,110 --> 00:15:13,011
If you still want to hang out
as friends, I'd like that.
359
00:15:13,013 --> 00:15:15,613
Thanks, Stuart.
I'd like that, too.
360
00:15:18,317 --> 00:15:21,686
And the fungus is
under the toenail.
361
00:15:35,367 --> 00:15:37,835
Hello.
362
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:39,103
Hey.
363
00:15:40,839 --> 00:15:43,408
So, um, I, uh...
364
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:47,078
I got flip-flops.
365
00:15:48,113 --> 00:15:50,248
Good for you.
366
00:15:50,250 --> 00:15:52,450
Oh, my God, what happened?!
367
00:15:52,452 --> 00:15:54,385
After I got
the flip-flops,
368
00:15:54,387 --> 00:15:58,456
I realized that the tops of
my feet were exposed, so, um,
369
00:15:58,458 --> 00:16:00,391
I-I put on some sunscreen,
370
00:16:00,393 --> 00:16:02,760
which caused my feet
to become slippery.
371
00:16:02,762 --> 00:16:05,496
And predictably,
one of them fell off
372
00:16:05,498 --> 00:16:07,665
and went down a sewer grate.
373
00:16:07,667 --> 00:16:10,468
Now, normally, I would
have walked away,
374
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:14,339
but this is a new,
laid-back me, so,
375
00:16:14,341 --> 00:16:18,042
instead of getting upset, I
just reached down to grab it.
376
00:16:18,044 --> 00:16:21,646
That's when I touched
something furry...
377
00:16:23,649 --> 00:16:27,919
...which I'm telling myself
was a damp toupee.
378
00:16:29,421 --> 00:16:32,490
When the toupee
licked my hand...
379
00:16:35,961 --> 00:16:39,130
...I screamed and
hopped down the street
380
00:16:39,132 --> 00:16:41,065
on my remaining flip-flop.
381
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:44,302
Can I just ask...?
No, this is
a long story.
382
00:16:44,304 --> 00:16:47,772
Why don't we please save
your questions till the end?
383
00:16:47,774 --> 00:16:50,708
So, I-I finally
came upon a bus bench
384
00:16:50,710 --> 00:16:53,578
where I sat and removed
one of my shirts
385
00:16:53,580 --> 00:16:56,781
and, uh, fashioned it
into a makeshift shoe.
386
00:16:58,083 --> 00:16:59,584
Not a waterproof shoe.
387
00:16:59,586 --> 00:17:02,920
That is relevant to the
next part of my story.
388
00:17:02,922 --> 00:17:07,225
The ankle-deep puddle
of warm apple juice.
389
00:17:08,260 --> 00:17:10,762
Apple juice?
390
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:14,165
Maybe, maybe not.
391
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:19,737
I'm telling myself
a lot of things, Amy.
392
00:17:19,739 --> 00:17:23,474
What happened
to your other flip-flop?
393
00:17:23,476 --> 00:17:25,276
Oh, well, that involves
394
00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:30,481
what I am telling myself
was a... melted candy bar.
395
00:17:34,520 --> 00:17:36,721
Okay. I-I'm sorry.
396
00:17:36,723 --> 00:17:39,257
Is there anything
I can do to help?
397
00:17:39,259 --> 00:17:44,429
Yes. I want you to be
in charge of our wedding.
398
00:17:44,431 --> 00:17:46,164
Just you tell me
where and when,
399
00:17:46,166 --> 00:17:48,366
and I will show up
with a boutonniere
400
00:17:48,368 --> 00:17:50,735
and close-toed shoes and a...
401
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:54,172
a Star Trek uniform
underneath my tuxedo.
402
00:17:56,008 --> 00:17:59,043
That last part is
non-negotiable.
403
00:17:59,045 --> 00:18:01,646
Are you sure
that's what you want?
404
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:04,849
As sure as I'm about
to go bathe in Purell.
405
00:18:08,253 --> 00:18:10,288
I love you.
I love you, too.
406
00:18:11,690 --> 00:18:14,392
You know, ever since
I was a young girl,
407
00:18:14,394 --> 00:18:17,128
I-I've dreamed
of a June wedding,
408
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:21,666
maybe on a cliff overlooking
the ocean at sunset.
409
00:18:23,168 --> 00:18:25,169
Sure.
410
00:18:27,539 --> 00:18:29,874
Sounds wonderful.
411
00:18:29,876 --> 00:18:33,845
Now, if you'll excuse me,
I'm going to go clean up.
412
00:18:38,283 --> 00:18:40,751
Outdoor wedding.
413
00:18:40,753 --> 00:18:43,020
I know what
I'll be using that cliff for.
414
00:18:50,696 --> 00:18:54,132
I call this meeting of the
Council of Sheldons to order.
415
00:18:54,134 --> 00:18:56,701
Let's take roll.
416
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:58,803
Science Sheldon?
417
00:18:58,805 --> 00:19:01,706
Present.
418
00:19:01,708 --> 00:19:03,407
Texas Sheldon?
419
00:19:03,409 --> 00:19:04,575
Howdy.
420
00:19:06,678 --> 00:19:08,679
Fanboy Sheldon?
421
00:19:08,681 --> 00:19:10,248
Greetings.
422
00:19:11,817 --> 00:19:13,718
Germaphobe
Sheldon?
423
00:19:13,720 --> 00:19:16,587
Say it, don't spray it.
424
00:19:18,857 --> 00:19:21,125
Where's Jock Sheldon?
425
00:19:22,361 --> 00:19:24,462
Not the time, Humorous Sheldon!
426
00:19:25,931 --> 00:19:28,399
Okay, new business.
427
00:19:28,401 --> 00:19:32,670
Do we grant Laid-Back Sheldon
a seat on the council?
428
00:19:32,672 --> 00:19:35,173
Hey, whatever
you guys want.
429
00:19:36,275 --> 00:19:40,878
I'm just chillin'
like Bob Dylan.
430
00:19:40,880 --> 00:19:42,847
Negative.
Heck, no!
431
00:19:42,849 --> 00:19:45,616
I don't feel well.
432
00:19:45,618 --> 00:19:47,151
(horn honks)
433
00:19:47,153 --> 00:19:50,321
Can we kick him out, too?
31770
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