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1
00:00:00,181 --> 00:00:01,581
Previously on
The Big Bang Theory...
2
00:00:02,183 --> 00:00:04,213
So, Leonard, tell
everyone your news.
3
00:00:04,214 --> 00:00:06,415
Oh, uh, I am
starting a book.
4
00:00:06,417 --> 00:00:09,084
That would be big news
from Penny,
5
00:00:09,086 --> 00:00:11,953
but you've read a book before.
6
00:00:11,955 --> 00:00:14,489
He means he's writing a book.
7
00:00:14,491 --> 00:00:17,726
I do. It's something I've been
thinking about for a long time.
8
00:00:17,728 --> 00:00:19,828
Yeah. It's about
a brilliant physicist
9
00:00:19,830 --> 00:00:21,930
who solves crimes
using science.
10
00:00:21,932 --> 00:00:22,998
Oh, Leonard...
11
00:00:23,000 --> 00:00:24,800
It's not about you!
12
00:00:25,736 --> 00:00:27,669
Oh, boy.
What?
13
00:00:27,671 --> 00:00:29,771
They cast the new
Professor Proton.
14
00:00:29,773 --> 00:00:32,474
Is it Sheldon?
Not exactly.
15
00:00:32,476 --> 00:00:33,842
Wheaton!
16
00:00:33,844 --> 00:00:36,111
It's Wil Wheaton.
17
00:00:40,284 --> 00:00:41,783
Hey, what are you doing?
18
00:00:41,785 --> 00:00:43,585
I thought we were having
dinner at Leonard and Penny's.
19
00:00:43,587 --> 00:00:44,953
Oh, no.
20
00:00:44,955 --> 00:00:46,955
No, they're watching
the new Professor Proton.
21
00:00:46,957 --> 00:00:48,723
I-I can't keep Wil Wheaton
off the Internet,
22
00:00:48,725 --> 00:00:50,525
but I can keep him
off my retinas.
23
00:00:50,527 --> 00:00:54,396
So, you're just gonna sit here
by yourself and do nothing?
24
00:00:54,398 --> 00:00:55,997
Of course not.
25
00:00:55,999 --> 00:00:59,801
I'm going to write mean comments
about Wil's show online.
26
00:00:59,803 --> 00:01:02,904
Well, you can't criticize
something you haven't seen.
27
00:01:02,906 --> 00:01:06,374
I'm sorry, are you familiar
with the Internet?
28
00:01:06,376 --> 00:01:08,577
Well, what if
I watch it with you?
29
00:01:08,579 --> 00:01:10,745
Maybe I won't like it and we
can complain about it together.
30
00:01:10,747 --> 00:01:13,281
Get your own thing
to complain about.
31
00:01:13,283 --> 00:01:15,550
Oh, trust me, I've got one.
32
00:01:16,320 --> 00:01:18,787
Look, at least
if you watch it,
33
00:01:18,789 --> 00:01:21,990
maybe you can find more
specific things to criticize.
34
00:01:21,992 --> 00:01:23,825
Oh, that is a good point.
35
00:01:23,827 --> 00:01:26,661
Criticisms are more hurtful
when they're specific.
36
00:01:28,632 --> 00:01:30,899
♪ Grab your goggles ♪
37
00:01:30,901 --> 00:01:32,767
♪ Lab coat on ♪
38
00:01:32,769 --> 00:01:36,371
♪ Here he comes,
Professor Proton. ♪
39
00:01:36,373 --> 00:01:38,206
Hey, everybody.
I'm Professor Proton.
40
00:01:38,208 --> 00:01:40,809
Welcome to the show.
Today I will be teaching you
41
00:01:40,811 --> 00:01:44,646
how to make a real hovercraft
using common household items.
42
00:01:44,648 --> 00:01:47,883
Darn it, I do like
objects that hover.
43
00:01:48,685 --> 00:01:50,552
All you will need is a CD,
44
00:01:50,554 --> 00:01:53,822
a bottle cap, a balloon,
and some super glue.
45
00:01:53,824 --> 00:01:57,359
Oh, no! I have
all those things!
46
00:01:57,514 --> 00:02:01,349
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
47
00:02:01,351 --> 00:02:04,419
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
48
00:02:04,421 --> 00:02:05,953
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
49
00:02:05,955 --> 00:02:08,489
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
50
00:02:08,491 --> 00:02:11,359
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
51
00:02:11,361 --> 00:02:13,828
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
52
00:02:13,830 --> 00:02:15,730
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
53
00:02:15,732 --> 00:02:16,523
♪ Bang! ♪
54
00:02:16,524 --> 00:02:20,524
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x15 ♪
The Novelization Correlation
Original Air
55
00:02:20,525 --> 00:02:22,525
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
56
00:02:24,610 --> 00:02:26,276
- Hey.
- Hi.
57
00:02:26,278 --> 00:02:28,144
What's that noise?
58
00:02:28,146 --> 00:02:30,614
Oh, it's my new keyboard.
59
00:02:30,616 --> 00:02:32,749
It looks and sounds like
an old-fashioned typewriter.
60
00:02:32,751 --> 00:02:35,151
It makes me feel
like a real novelist.
61
00:02:35,153 --> 00:02:37,921
You poured yourself a Scotch.
62
00:02:37,923 --> 00:02:39,456
Apple juice.
Oh.
63
00:02:40,292 --> 00:02:41,391
But unsweetened,
64
00:02:41,393 --> 00:02:43,426
like Hemingway used to drink.
Ah.
65
00:02:43,428 --> 00:02:45,662
- So, how's the book coming along?
- Uh, good.
66
00:02:45,664 --> 00:02:47,530
I just wrote the part
where the hero,
67
00:02:47,532 --> 00:02:50,233
hotshot physicist Logan Dean,
arrives at CERN.
68
00:02:50,235 --> 00:02:51,735
Oh, is he based on you?
69
00:02:51,737 --> 00:02:54,304
Uh, kind of.
But he can eat dairy products
70
00:02:54,306 --> 00:02:56,239
without having
to leave the room.
71
00:02:56,241 --> 00:02:58,842
Yeah, that's smart, because
CERN is in Switzerland
72
00:02:58,844 --> 00:03:00,844
and there's a lot of cheese there.
Hmm.
73
00:03:00,846 --> 00:03:04,214
Uh, believe me,
that is a plot point later.
74
00:03:04,216 --> 00:03:06,149
Well, I'm excited to read
it whenever you're ready.
75
00:03:06,151 --> 00:03:08,084
Thank you.
76
00:03:08,086 --> 00:03:10,620
Oh. Oh! I just thought
of the murder weapon!
77
00:03:10,622 --> 00:03:12,155
Swiss army knife?
78
00:03:12,157 --> 00:03:14,124
No.
79
00:03:17,262 --> 00:03:19,629
That's way better.
80
00:03:20,699 --> 00:03:23,366
Look, it works!
We did it!
81
00:03:23,368 --> 00:03:26,503
See, there was a reason
to keep that TurboTax CD.
82
00:03:26,505 --> 00:03:28,238
Yeah.
83
00:03:28,240 --> 00:03:29,506
A CD-ROM?
84
00:03:29,508 --> 00:03:31,508
More like "CD-vroom."
85
00:03:31,510 --> 00:03:34,544
Do you feel bad
you told Wil Wheaton
86
00:03:34,546 --> 00:03:36,780
that you'd be his enemy
if he did this show?
87
00:03:36,782 --> 00:03:39,249
No. I feel bad
88
00:03:39,251 --> 00:03:41,551
I'm engaged to somebody
that would point that out.
89
00:03:41,553 --> 00:03:44,421
It's time for Professor Proton's
90
00:03:44,423 --> 00:03:45,889
science joke of the day.
91
00:03:45,891 --> 00:03:48,525
Why can you not trust atoms?
92
00:03:48,527 --> 00:03:50,293
Hmm.
93
00:03:50,295 --> 00:03:53,296
Because they make up everything.
94
00:03:53,298 --> 00:03:56,499
Oh, that's funny!
95
00:03:56,501 --> 00:03:59,502
Yeah, because they do.
They make up everything.
96
00:04:01,206 --> 00:04:03,473
Oh, I wonder who that could be.
97
00:04:03,475 --> 00:04:05,642
Just when I thought this
couldn't get any better,
98
00:04:05,644 --> 00:04:07,977
Wil has introduced
suspense into the show.
99
00:04:09,748 --> 00:04:13,316
Hey, it's real NASA
astronaut, Howard Wolowitz!
100
00:04:13,318 --> 00:04:15,819
What?!
101
00:04:15,821 --> 00:04:17,253
Hey, Professor Proton.
102
00:04:17,255 --> 00:04:18,621
Hey, thanks
for being here.
103
00:04:18,623 --> 00:04:21,925
No problem.
I'm on my "launch" break.
104
00:04:24,096 --> 00:04:27,530
How could Wil ask Howard to
be on his show and not me?
105
00:04:27,532 --> 00:04:29,532
Well, he is an astronaut.
106
00:04:29,534 --> 00:04:32,902
And he didn't start an online
petition to get Wil fired.
107
00:04:32,904 --> 00:04:35,438
But why wouldn't
Howard tell me?
108
00:04:35,440 --> 00:04:36,906
Well, because
he probably worried
109
00:04:36,908 --> 00:04:40,243
that you'd be
a big baby about it.
110
00:04:40,245 --> 00:04:42,445
All those answers
make a lot of sense.
111
00:04:42,447 --> 00:04:45,448
Thank you, Amy.
That helps.
112
00:04:46,551 --> 00:04:48,618
And then, when the lights
come back on
113
00:04:48,620 --> 00:04:51,654
in the supercollider room,
Dr. Logan Dean makes
114
00:04:51,656 --> 00:04:55,125
two important discoveries:
a gluino
115
00:04:55,127 --> 00:04:57,260
and murder.
116
00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:59,562
Oh, gluino.
That's exciting.
117
00:05:00,332 --> 00:05:03,099
And murder.
118
00:05:03,101 --> 00:05:05,602
I heard you.
119
00:05:05,604 --> 00:05:08,905
The first time.
120
00:05:08,907 --> 00:05:11,274
I don't know which Hemsworth
is playing Logan Dean,
121
00:05:11,276 --> 00:05:12,876
but I know it's a Hemsworth.
122
00:05:12,878 --> 00:05:14,744
Well, Logan's
actually based on me.
123
00:05:14,746 --> 00:05:17,547
So a young Paul Giamatti.
124
00:05:17,549 --> 00:05:19,315
Well, I have to
finish writing it
125
00:05:19,317 --> 00:05:21,151
before they can make it
into a movie,
126
00:05:21,153 --> 00:05:23,353
and I still have a few things
to figure out.
127
00:05:23,355 --> 00:05:24,721
You should talk
to Bernadette.
128
00:05:24,723 --> 00:05:26,623
Since she's been on
bed rest, she's binged,
129
00:05:26,625 --> 00:05:29,826
like, every detective
show in the world.
130
00:05:29,828 --> 00:05:32,629
Oh, there was a funny detective
show in India called Karamchand.
131
00:05:32,631 --> 00:05:34,497
He had an assistant
named Kitty,
132
00:05:34,499 --> 00:05:36,866
and he was always saying,
"Shut up, Kitty!"
133
00:05:38,503 --> 00:05:40,603
Sounds less mean if
you say it in Hindi
134
00:05:40,605 --> 00:05:44,240
and don't think of women
as having feelings.
135
00:05:44,242 --> 00:05:45,475
Hello.
136
00:05:45,477 --> 00:05:47,110
- Hey. - Hey.
- Hi.
137
00:05:47,112 --> 00:05:50,280
Howard, I want you to know
that I forgive you.
138
00:05:50,282 --> 00:05:52,282
I'll take it.
139
00:05:52,284 --> 00:05:54,217
What's he forgiving you for?
140
00:05:54,219 --> 00:05:56,853
Don't care. Clean slate.
Happy Yom Kippur to me.
141
00:05:56,855 --> 00:05:59,455
I know that you were
on Wil's show,
142
00:05:59,457 --> 00:06:01,424
and I know
why you didn't tell me.
143
00:06:01,426 --> 00:06:02,425
Do you?
144
00:06:02,427 --> 00:06:04,093
Because you were afraid
145
00:06:04,095 --> 00:06:05,795
that I would be difficult
and annoying about it.
146
00:06:05,797 --> 00:06:07,797
I hope your book has a twist
147
00:06:07,799 --> 00:06:10,166
as surprising as that.
148
00:06:10,168 --> 00:06:12,735
It doesn't.
149
00:06:12,737 --> 00:06:15,104
I thought you were
boycotting Wil's show.
150
00:06:15,106 --> 00:06:17,373
I was, but I decided
to give it a shot,
151
00:06:17,375 --> 00:06:19,275
and I actually enjoyed it.
152
00:06:19,277 --> 00:06:22,712
Just out of curiosity, how did
you come to be on the show?
153
00:06:22,714 --> 00:06:24,714
Did he ask you?
Did you ask him?
154
00:06:24,716 --> 00:06:27,650
Did you just show up on the set
and ring that doorbell?
155
00:06:27,652 --> 00:06:29,819
Sheldon, if you want
to be on the show,
156
00:06:29,821 --> 00:06:32,322
you're gonna have to
apologize to Wil.
157
00:06:32,324 --> 00:06:35,692
That would be
the mature thing to do.
158
00:06:35,694 --> 00:06:38,695
Let's put a pin in that
and keep thinking.
159
00:06:42,601 --> 00:06:44,167
Ooh.
160
00:06:44,169 --> 00:06:46,236
What? What? Which part?
161
00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:47,871
That was just the baby kicking.
162
00:06:47,873 --> 00:06:49,539
Got it.
163
00:06:49,541 --> 00:06:52,308
- But this is good so far, really good.
- Yeah?
164
00:06:52,310 --> 00:06:54,811
Yeah. I have no idea
who the killer is.
165
00:06:54,813 --> 00:06:56,779
Oh, great. Me, neither.
166
00:06:56,781 --> 00:07:00,850
So, does Penny know
you based a character on her?
167
00:07:00,852 --> 00:07:02,785
What character?
168
00:07:02,787 --> 00:07:05,622
Ilsa, the head of the institute.
That's clearly Penny.
169
00:07:05,624 --> 00:07:06,656
No, it's not.
170
00:07:06,658 --> 00:07:07,857
Really?
171
00:07:07,859 --> 00:07:09,459
Confident, ball-busting beauty
172
00:07:09,461 --> 00:07:12,195
who's always
rolling her eyes at Logan?
173
00:07:12,197 --> 00:07:16,733
Trust me, that describes
more women than you think.
174
00:07:16,735 --> 00:07:20,703
"He looked at the stunning woman
who was his boss and said..."
175
00:07:20,705 --> 00:07:23,206
It's murder.
176
00:07:23,208 --> 00:07:26,009
Figure that out yourself,
genius?
177
00:07:27,445 --> 00:07:29,345
Okay, no need to be snarky.
178
00:07:29,347 --> 00:07:30,580
Who would want to kill him?
179
00:07:30,582 --> 00:07:33,416
Could be anyone.
Dr. Silvers.
180
00:07:35,520 --> 00:07:36,920
Dr. Prekash.
181
00:07:38,456 --> 00:07:40,757
Hans the janitor.
182
00:07:42,861 --> 00:07:44,794
But the door is locked,
183
00:07:44,796 --> 00:07:46,930
so it has to be someone
in this room.
184
00:07:46,932 --> 00:07:49,933
Wow, you are on fire.
185
00:07:52,103 --> 00:07:54,737
Maybe it is a
little like Penny.
186
00:07:54,739 --> 00:07:56,639
Any chance she'll be flattered?
187
00:07:56,641 --> 00:07:58,841
I don't know. She's pretty mean.
188
00:07:58,843 --> 00:08:00,343
Ilsa or Penny?
189
00:08:00,345 --> 00:08:02,745
Exactly.
190
00:08:05,483 --> 00:08:07,784
Oh, hey, Howard.
What's up?
191
00:08:07,786 --> 00:08:09,585
I'm so sorry.
192
00:08:09,587 --> 00:08:11,054
What for?
193
00:08:12,891 --> 00:08:14,657
Hello.
194
00:08:14,659 --> 00:08:16,192
Hello, Sheldon.
195
00:08:16,194 --> 00:08:18,227
I suppose you've come here
to tell me
196
00:08:18,229 --> 00:08:20,563
that you've moved me to your
super secret enemies list.
197
00:08:20,565 --> 00:08:23,833
I don't have
a super secret enemies list.
198
00:08:23,835 --> 00:08:25,735
I'm not a Bond villain.
199
00:08:26,805 --> 00:08:28,338
I'm just a regular guy,
200
00:08:28,340 --> 00:08:30,640
with a regular enemies list.
201
00:08:30,642 --> 00:08:33,876
Which, by the way,
you are no longer on.
202
00:08:33,878 --> 00:08:36,946
Really?
Well, that is something.
203
00:08:36,948 --> 00:08:40,216
It's not something that I care
about, but it is something.
204
00:08:40,218 --> 00:08:42,151
He's trying to
say he's sorry.
205
00:08:42,153 --> 00:08:43,653
I am.
206
00:08:43,655 --> 00:08:46,823
I watched your show,
and it's really good.
207
00:08:46,825 --> 00:08:48,157
Aw, thank you.
208
00:08:48,159 --> 00:08:50,326
And I regret
how hard I was on you.
209
00:08:50,328 --> 00:08:51,627
I want you to know
210
00:08:51,629 --> 00:08:53,896
that being on
the Professor Proton show
211
00:08:53,898 --> 00:08:56,132
has been a childhood dream
of mine.
212
00:08:56,134 --> 00:08:57,800
So, if you're
ever looking
213
00:08:57,802 --> 00:09:01,804
for any more scientist guests,
I hope you'll consider me.
214
00:09:01,806 --> 00:09:05,274
I appreciate that, Sheldon,
and I'll keep it in mind.
215
00:09:05,276 --> 00:09:06,709
You know, actually...
216
00:09:06,711 --> 00:09:09,145
Yay!
Uh...
217
00:09:09,147 --> 00:09:11,681
No. No. I want to have
218
00:09:11,683 --> 00:09:14,250
more female scientists
represented on the show,
219
00:09:14,252 --> 00:09:17,353
and I thought maybe Amy
might be interested?
220
00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:28,831
Or...
221
00:09:28,833 --> 00:09:31,401
wouldn't it be nice
222
00:09:31,403 --> 00:09:35,238
to have us both on, to show that
223
00:09:35,240 --> 00:09:38,975
even female scientists
can land a man?
224
00:09:42,280 --> 00:09:44,080
I said "sorry."
225
00:09:49,001 --> 00:09:51,221
So, what do you think?
226
00:09:51,223 --> 00:09:53,783
I like it. I can't wait
to see who the killer is.
227
00:09:53,784 --> 00:09:56,860
Is it that Ilsa girl?
She seems pretty mean.
228
00:09:56,950 --> 00:10:00,018
But adorably mean,
229
00:10:00,020 --> 00:10:03,021
like a baby lion?
230
00:10:03,023 --> 00:10:05,924
No, regular mean,
like a regular lion.
231
00:10:07,561 --> 00:10:10,128
But it seems pretty accurate,
considering who you based it on.
232
00:10:10,130 --> 00:10:12,197
Huh.
233
00:10:12,199 --> 00:10:14,532
And who do you think that is?
234
00:10:15,635 --> 00:10:16,935
But the door is locked,
235
00:10:16,937 --> 00:10:19,170
so it has to be someone
in this room.
236
00:10:22,342 --> 00:10:24,943
Wow. You are on fire.
237
00:10:27,113 --> 00:10:28,713
Oh. Y...
238
00:10:28,715 --> 00:10:30,815
Bernadette.
Yeah, sure.
239
00:10:30,817 --> 00:10:33,318
Each one of you had a motive.
240
00:10:33,320 --> 00:10:35,987
Who died and
made you detective?
241
00:10:35,989 --> 00:10:38,189
He did.
242
00:10:39,125 --> 00:10:41,826
I think you're neglecting
your own motive,
243
00:10:41,828 --> 00:10:44,229
a massive inferiority complex.
244
00:10:44,231 --> 00:10:46,364
It's not massive.
245
00:10:46,366 --> 00:10:48,466
It's just average-sized.
246
00:10:51,104 --> 00:10:53,171
I don't mean to interrupt,
but somebody's tracking
247
00:10:53,173 --> 00:10:56,741
blood everywhere, so--
never mind, it's me.
248
00:10:57,611 --> 00:10:59,777
You say we're all suspects.
249
00:10:59,779 --> 00:11:02,580
How do we know
you're not the killer?
250
00:11:02,582 --> 00:11:04,115
I have an alibi.
251
00:11:04,117 --> 00:11:08,019
Yeah. He's not smart enough to
pull off a murder like this.
252
00:11:09,956 --> 00:11:13,524
It's pretty obvious:
blonde, mean, glasses.
253
00:11:13,526 --> 00:11:15,459
It doesn't say "glasses."
Oh, really?
254
00:11:15,461 --> 00:11:17,962
But it will,
because Ilsa does.
255
00:11:17,964 --> 00:11:19,897
And you know
who else wears them?
256
00:11:19,899 --> 00:11:22,333
Bernadette.
257
00:11:23,369 --> 00:11:25,102
And-and that's her, cause it's,
258
00:11:25,104 --> 00:11:27,405
it's totally, it's totally her.
259
00:11:30,610 --> 00:11:33,144
Oh, Amy.
Good, you're here.
260
00:11:33,146 --> 00:11:34,345
Hi. What's up?
261
00:11:34,347 --> 00:11:38,182
How would you like to be
on television?
262
00:11:38,184 --> 00:11:40,117
Is it gonna be a news story
263
00:11:40,119 --> 00:11:43,020
where I have to say you were
quiet and kept to yourself
264
00:11:43,022 --> 00:11:44,922
and I'm as shocked as anyone?
265
00:11:44,924 --> 00:11:47,325
No, it's not.
266
00:11:47,327 --> 00:11:51,362
Wil Wheaton wants you to be
on Professor Proton.
267
00:11:51,364 --> 00:11:54,498
That's nice, but I'm not
really interested.
268
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:56,467
What do you mean?
269
00:11:56,469 --> 00:11:58,869
But he wants to talk
about women in science.
270
00:11:58,871 --> 00:12:02,139
You're a woman, you're in
science. You go, girl.
271
00:12:02,141 --> 00:12:04,342
I'm all for promoting women
in science,
272
00:12:04,344 --> 00:12:06,811
but I don't really want to be
on Wil's show.
273
00:12:06,813 --> 00:12:10,615
Is it because
kids may be there,
274
00:12:10,617 --> 00:12:13,417
and they're known carriers
of head lice? I get that.
275
00:12:13,419 --> 00:12:16,020
Sure, that's the reason.
276
00:12:16,022 --> 00:12:18,322
Wait a minute.
277
00:12:18,324 --> 00:12:20,558
You're always bragging that lice
aren't attracted to you
278
00:12:20,560 --> 00:12:22,260
because your scalp is so oily.
279
00:12:22,262 --> 00:12:24,328
That was on your dating profile.
280
00:12:24,330 --> 00:12:26,497
Okay, look,
281
00:12:26,499 --> 00:12:29,100
I know you have strong feelings
about Professor Proton,
282
00:12:29,102 --> 00:12:31,569
and I don't want to get
in the middle of that.
283
00:12:31,571 --> 00:12:34,905
So you're not
going to do something
284
00:12:34,907 --> 00:12:36,941
just because you think
it might upset me?
285
00:12:36,943 --> 00:12:38,876
Well, it's tricky,
286
00:12:38,878 --> 00:12:41,012
because answering that
question honestly
287
00:12:41,014 --> 00:12:44,415
is one of the things I tend
not to do because it upsets you.
288
00:12:44,417 --> 00:12:48,252
Well, that's
very upsetting.
289
00:12:48,254 --> 00:12:50,154
Like I said.
290
00:12:51,991 --> 00:12:53,557
What other things
don't you do because of me?
291
00:12:53,559 --> 00:12:56,193
Remember last week
when we went
292
00:12:56,195 --> 00:12:58,996
to that dueling piano bar
I was so excited about?
293
00:12:58,998 --> 00:12:59,636
No.
294
00:12:59,660 --> 00:13:01,601
Well, now you're
getting it.
295
00:13:04,637 --> 00:13:07,605
Boy, I don't know how people
who aren't on bed rest
296
00:13:07,607 --> 00:13:10,174
keep up with
the Kardashians.
297
00:13:10,176 --> 00:13:12,209
Well, sometimes
you have to read in your car
298
00:13:12,211 --> 00:13:15,279
while your husband thinks
you're working late.
299
00:13:15,281 --> 00:13:18,282
Speaking of which, he came by
yesterday to show me his book.
300
00:13:18,284 --> 00:13:22,086
Oh, and-and
what did you think?
301
00:13:22,088 --> 00:13:23,354
I liked it.
302
00:13:23,356 --> 00:13:26,090
Really? The Ilsa character
didn't bother you?
303
00:13:26,092 --> 00:13:28,659
Oh, he was exaggerating.
You're not really like that.
304
00:13:30,463 --> 00:13:33,030
Well, I know
I'm not like that.
305
00:13:33,032 --> 00:13:35,132
The character
was based on you.
306
00:13:35,134 --> 00:13:36,901
I don't know
what to tell you.
307
00:13:36,903 --> 00:13:39,003
When I brought it up with
Leonard, he said it was you.
308
00:13:39,005 --> 00:13:41,872
Well, when I
brought it up, he...
309
00:13:41,874 --> 00:13:43,574
got all squirrelly
and left the room.
310
00:13:43,576 --> 00:13:45,743
Son of a bitch.
311
00:13:49,082 --> 00:13:52,249
I just learned
some very distressing news.
312
00:13:52,251 --> 00:13:54,952
Sometimes,
Amy doesn't do things
313
00:13:54,954 --> 00:13:56,554
because she's worried about
how I'll react.
314
00:13:56,556 --> 00:13:59,256
First of all, it's not
sometimes, it's always.
315
00:13:59,258 --> 00:14:02,693
Second, it's not
Amy, it's everybody.
316
00:14:04,464 --> 00:14:06,797
And third, it's not news,
it's well-established.
317
00:14:06,799 --> 00:14:09,467
Yeah. Like just now I
wanted to get a croissant,
318
00:14:09,469 --> 00:14:13,204
but I didn't want to hear
you say, "Ooh, la, la."
319
00:14:13,206 --> 00:14:15,506
So you're saying
everyone walks on eggshells
320
00:14:15,508 --> 00:14:17,208
to spare my feelings?
321
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:19,043
No, of course not,
because we don't want
322
00:14:19,045 --> 00:14:21,245
to hear you complain about
how much you hate the sound
323
00:14:21,247 --> 00:14:23,914
of crunching eggshells.
324
00:14:23,916 --> 00:14:27,218
I don't want my relationship
with Amy to be like that.
325
00:14:27,220 --> 00:14:29,854
Sheldon, Amy knew
what she was getting into.
326
00:14:29,856 --> 00:14:30,988
You think?
327
00:14:30,990 --> 00:14:32,790
Yes, we warned her.
328
00:14:34,394 --> 00:14:36,794
Well, regardless, I can change.
329
00:14:36,796 --> 00:14:38,896
Sure.
Yeah, of course you can.
330
00:14:38,898 --> 00:14:42,066
You know, everybody thinks
I'm so predictable.
331
00:14:42,068 --> 00:14:43,968
Well, tomorrow I'm gonna
show up at work
332
00:14:43,970 --> 00:14:45,970
and do something
no one will expect.
333
00:14:45,972 --> 00:14:48,205
Where a baseball cap backwards
to prove your point?
334
00:14:53,212 --> 00:14:56,247
Yes, but which hat?
335
00:14:56,249 --> 00:14:58,849
Gryffindor.
336
00:14:58,851 --> 00:15:01,852
Well, now that you guessed it,
I'm not gonna do it.
337
00:15:01,854 --> 00:15:03,087
Yeah, you will.
338
00:15:03,089 --> 00:15:06,090
Yeah.
339
00:15:15,968 --> 00:15:18,602
Looks like the bullet
went right through you.
340
00:15:18,604 --> 00:15:20,404
Damn it, Logan.
When are you gonna stop?
341
00:15:20,406 --> 00:15:24,241
Sorry. I didn't get my PhD
in quitting.
342
00:15:24,243 --> 00:15:27,878
You're a physicist. What makes
you think you can solve a crime?
343
00:15:27,880 --> 00:15:29,547
He's losing
a lot of blood.
344
00:15:29,549 --> 00:15:32,450
Great. I'm gonna
have to clean that up.
345
00:15:33,553 --> 00:15:35,386
You know what?
A little soda water
346
00:15:35,388 --> 00:15:38,355
might get that
right out.
347
00:15:38,357 --> 00:15:40,691
- We got to find some bandages.
- No.
348
00:15:40,693 --> 00:15:42,693
There's no time.
349
00:15:45,131 --> 00:15:46,897
Does it hurt?
350
00:15:46,899 --> 00:15:50,434
Everything you do hurts.
351
00:15:51,838 --> 00:15:55,105
Then why do you keep
coming back for more?
352
00:15:59,912 --> 00:16:01,011
Hey.
353
00:16:01,013 --> 00:16:02,913
So this is what you think of me?
354
00:16:02,915 --> 00:16:05,316
Huh? I'm mean and
everything I do hurts you?
355
00:16:05,318 --> 00:16:07,117
What are you talking about?
356
00:16:07,119 --> 00:16:08,452
I know I'm Ilsa.
357
00:16:08,454 --> 00:16:10,821
Wha...? That is crazy.
358
00:16:10,823 --> 00:16:12,590
You-you two are
totally different.
359
00:16:12,592 --> 00:16:13,557
How?
360
00:16:13,559 --> 00:16:16,193
Well, you... She...
361
00:16:17,063 --> 00:16:19,029
Her name's Ilsa.
362
00:16:19,031 --> 00:16:20,598
You know what?
363
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:22,500
It's fine. Write
whatever you want.
364
00:16:22,502 --> 00:16:25,302
And by the way, Logan Dean can
tell everyone he's five-eight,
365
00:16:25,304 --> 00:16:27,471
but he's not fooling anybody!
366
00:16:36,883 --> 00:16:40,050
Are you sure that's the move
you want to make?
367
00:16:40,052 --> 00:16:41,318
Absolutely.
368
00:16:41,320 --> 00:16:43,754
Okay.
369
00:16:45,925 --> 00:16:48,259
Checkmate.
370
00:16:48,261 --> 00:16:50,461
Oh, I did not see that coming.
371
00:16:51,597 --> 00:16:53,931
That's well played, Amy.
372
00:16:53,933 --> 00:16:55,399
What's going on?
373
00:16:55,401 --> 00:17:00,170
You beat me, and I am responding
with humility and admiration.
374
00:17:00,172 --> 00:17:01,872
What does it look like?
375
00:17:01,874 --> 00:17:04,275
You let me win
so you could show me
376
00:17:04,277 --> 00:17:06,477
how emotionally mature you are,
didn't you?
377
00:17:06,479 --> 00:17:08,846
Well, I couldn't wait for you
to actually beat me;
378
00:17:08,848 --> 00:17:10,080
that would take forever.
379
00:17:11,551 --> 00:17:13,450
I'm sorry. It's...
380
00:17:13,452 --> 00:17:15,019
I'm trying to show you
381
00:17:15,021 --> 00:17:16,820
that I can change.
382
00:17:16,822 --> 00:17:19,490
I-I don't want you to miss out
on things because of me.
383
00:17:19,492 --> 00:17:21,859
I know you don't.
384
00:17:21,861 --> 00:17:24,061
You know,
and maybe somewhere out there,
385
00:17:24,063 --> 00:17:27,464
there is a little girl
who will see you on Wil's show
386
00:17:27,466 --> 00:17:29,967
and realize that she, too,
can grow up
387
00:17:29,969 --> 00:17:32,036
to be a brilliant, amazing,
388
00:17:32,038 --> 00:17:34,238
successful scientist.
389
00:17:35,975 --> 00:17:37,508
Thank you.
390
00:17:37,510 --> 00:17:39,610
Who is really terrible at chess.
391
00:17:39,612 --> 00:17:41,445
Got it.
392
00:17:41,447 --> 00:17:43,480
No, no, no.
I mean really bad.
393
00:17:43,482 --> 00:17:47,451
What was your queen doing
over there, going shopping?
394
00:17:50,022 --> 00:17:52,489
I mean, I-I didn't intend
to write about Penny,
395
00:17:52,491 --> 00:17:55,092
but I guess maybe
subconsciously I did.
396
00:17:55,094 --> 00:17:58,996
I believe you mean
"unconsciously," dear.
397
00:17:58,998 --> 00:18:01,298
Yeah, sure.
You know, it would be nice
398
00:18:01,300 --> 00:18:03,300
if you didn't correct me
all the time.
399
00:18:03,302 --> 00:18:05,736
It would be nice
if I didn't have to.
400
00:18:07,173 --> 00:18:09,807
Maybe this book of yours
is a bad idea.
401
00:18:09,809 --> 00:18:11,008
What do you mean?
402
00:18:11,010 --> 00:18:12,276
Well, you're a physicist.
403
00:18:12,278 --> 00:18:14,545
What makes you think
you can write a book?
404
00:18:19,185 --> 00:18:21,251
You're a physicist.
405
00:18:21,253 --> 00:18:24,321
What makes you think
you can solve a crime?
406
00:18:25,925 --> 00:18:27,891
Got to go.
407
00:18:27,893 --> 00:18:29,293
I think you mean "have..."
408
00:18:31,931 --> 00:18:32,930
Oh, Penny, good news.
409
00:18:32,932 --> 00:18:34,431
It's not you.
What?
410
00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:36,200
Ilsa. It's not you.
It's my mother.
411
00:18:36,202 --> 00:18:38,135
I've been writing
about my mother!
412
00:18:39,171 --> 00:18:41,372
I think you're neglecting
your own motive,
413
00:18:41,374 --> 00:18:43,874
a massive inferiority complex.
414
00:18:43,876 --> 00:18:46,010
It's not massive.
415
00:18:46,012 --> 00:18:48,379
It's just average-sized.
416
00:18:51,617 --> 00:18:53,917
We got to find
some bandages.
417
00:18:53,919 --> 00:18:56,153
There's no time.
418
00:18:59,458 --> 00:19:00,991
Does it hurt?
419
00:19:00,993 --> 00:19:03,427
Everything you do hurts.
420
00:19:03,429 --> 00:19:06,430
Then why do you keep
coming back for more?
421
00:19:06,432 --> 00:19:08,198
Maybe you like it.
422
00:19:08,200 --> 00:19:11,402
I-- M-Maybe I do.
423
00:19:24,329 --> 00:19:26,296
Well, that is
our show for today.
424
00:19:26,298 --> 00:19:28,165
And I want to say
a very special thank you
425
00:19:28,167 --> 00:19:29,866
to Dr. Amy Fowler
for being here.
426
00:19:29,868 --> 00:19:31,301
It was a real pleasure
having you.
427
00:19:31,303 --> 00:19:33,403
And you can feel
that pleasure
428
00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:38,375
because you don't have a lesion
in your nucleus accumbens.
429
00:19:38,377 --> 00:19:41,244
I really hope I don't.
430
00:19:41,246 --> 00:19:42,846
All right,
we'll see you next time!
431
00:19:44,583 --> 00:19:47,017
Amy.
432
00:19:47,019 --> 00:19:49,252
You were glowing.
433
00:19:51,256 --> 00:19:53,323
Oily scalp.
434
00:19:54,493 --> 00:19:56,193
I'm so proud of you.
435
00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:59,196
And I'm proud of you.
436
00:19:59,198 --> 00:20:01,331
Because you can't
tell how jealous I am?
437
00:20:01,333 --> 00:20:04,334
No, no, no. I can.
438
00:20:04,336 --> 00:20:07,337
But I can tell how hard
you're trying to keep it in.
439
00:20:07,339 --> 00:20:09,506
Really hard.
440
00:20:11,343 --> 00:20:13,006
I'm gonna go to bed.
441
00:20:13,030 --> 00:20:14,045
All right, I'm gonna
go scream on the roof.
442
00:20:14,046 --> 00:20:16,079
- Love you.
- Love you.
443
00:20:28,349 --> 00:20:35,249
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
444
00:21:02,694 --> 00:21:05,829
A simile directly compares
two things,
445
00:21:05,831 --> 00:21:08,698
using the words “like” and “as”"
446
00:21:08,700 --> 00:21:10,767
“I slept
like a log”"
447
00:21:10,769 --> 00:21:12,936
“I'm hungry as a horse”"
448
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,472
“Your love is like
bad medicine.”
449
00:21:15,474 --> 00:21:16,606
Exactly.
450
00:21:16,608 --> 00:21:17,608
That's Bon Jovi.
9999
00:00:00,000 --> 00:00:01,500
www.tvsubtitles.net
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
www.tvsubtitles.net
32945
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