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1
00:00:02,544 --> 00:00:04,344
This was a good idea.
2
00:00:04,346 --> 00:00:05,678
It's been a long time
since we've had girls' night.
3
00:00:05,680 --> 00:00:07,714
Yeah, it's so nice to
have a relaxing evening
4
00:00:07,716 --> 00:00:09,916
at home doing nothing.
5
00:00:09,918 --> 00:00:11,985
Yeah, really breaks up
the other 30 days
6
00:00:11,987 --> 00:00:14,053
I've spent on bed rest
doing nothing.
7
00:00:14,055 --> 00:00:17,657
Well, tonight we're gonna
make you forget all that.
8
00:00:17,659 --> 00:00:19,492
You're gonna make me forget
I've been stuck in bed
9
00:00:19,494 --> 00:00:21,692
while a baby uses my bladder
as a kickball?
10
00:00:21,860 --> 00:00:23,393
(knocking)
11
00:00:23,417 --> 00:00:25,699
Hey, you had unprotected sex
with Howard.
12
00:00:25,700 --> 00:00:28,101
You deserve to be miserable.
13
00:00:29,271 --> 00:00:31,704
Hey, I need some
fashion advice.
14
00:00:31,706 --> 00:00:33,773
Really? From me?
I would love to...
15
00:00:33,775 --> 00:00:35,675
Actually, Leonard told me
Penny was over here?
16
00:00:35,677 --> 00:00:38,144
Hey, what's going on?
You got a date?
17
00:00:38,146 --> 00:00:40,213
I, uh, do have a date...
with science.
18
00:00:40,215 --> 00:00:43,216
Oh, what's science wearing?
19
00:00:43,218 --> 00:00:46,920
The Griffith Observatory is
looking for an astrophysicist
20
00:00:46,922 --> 00:00:49,556
to consult, and I have
an interview tomorrow.
21
00:00:49,558 --> 00:00:51,324
Oh, I love the observatory.
22
00:00:51,326 --> 00:00:53,793
They tell you your weight
on all the different planets.
23
00:00:53,795 --> 00:00:57,063
Yeah. It's always
bikini season on Venus.
24
00:00:57,065 --> 00:00:59,098
I think you'd be
great at that.
25
00:00:59,100 --> 00:01:00,366
Don't you agree, Bernadette?
26
00:01:00,368 --> 00:01:02,869
Huh? I'm listening.
I'm listening.
27
00:01:02,871 --> 00:01:05,104
I'm not watching The Crown.
28
00:01:05,106 --> 00:01:07,273
I just want to make a
good first impression,
29
00:01:07,275 --> 00:01:10,009
and thought maybe you could
help me pick out an outfit?
30
00:01:10,011 --> 00:01:11,644
Of course.
Let's see what you got.
31
00:01:11,646 --> 00:01:13,346
Yeah, you just need
to pick something
32
00:01:13,348 --> 00:01:14,848
that-that you feel
confident in.
33
00:01:14,850 --> 00:01:17,050
I'm sorry.
I left my magic clothes at home.
34
00:01:17,052 --> 00:01:19,552
I'm sure
these two options will be f...
35
00:01:21,957 --> 00:01:25,191
So you-you have
other clothes at home?
36
00:01:25,193 --> 00:01:26,292
Uh, it doesn't matter.
37
00:01:26,294 --> 00:01:27,994
They're talking
to a bunch of people.
38
00:01:27,996 --> 00:01:29,212
I probably won't get it anyway.
39
00:01:29,214 --> 00:01:30,020
Well, don't say that.
40
00:01:30,044 --> 00:01:32,166
Yeah, you have to
believe in yourself.
41
00:01:32,300 --> 00:01:34,000
You know,
before I came to America,
42
00:01:34,002 --> 00:01:35,401
I was filled with confidence.
43
00:01:35,403 --> 00:01:37,070
What happened to me?
44
00:01:37,072 --> 00:01:39,138
Hey, is that Raj there
at girls' night?
45
00:01:39,140 --> 00:01:40,573
Well, hey.
Hey, Howard.
46
00:01:40,575 --> 00:01:42,609
Just remember,
if you fall asleep first,
47
00:01:42,611 --> 00:01:45,478
they're gonna
freeze your bra.
48
00:01:46,548 --> 00:01:49,849
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
49
00:01:49,851 --> 00:01:53,186
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
50
00:01:53,188 --> 00:01:54,787
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
51
00:01:54,789 --> 00:01:57,323
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
52
00:01:57,325 --> 00:02:00,026
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
53
00:02:00,028 --> 00:02:02,762
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
54
00:02:02,764 --> 00:02:04,597
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
55
00:02:04,599 --> 00:02:05,000
♪ Bang! ♪
56
00:02:05,001 --> 00:02:09,001
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x10 ♪
The Confidence Erosion
Original Air Date on December 7, 2017
57
00:02:09,002 --> 00:02:11,002
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
58
00:02:11,051 --> 00:02:13,318
You and Amy having fun
planning your wedding?
59
00:02:13,320 --> 00:02:16,388
We're employing a
mathematical approach
60
00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:21,226
called decision theory,
so, heck, yeah.
61
00:02:21,228 --> 00:02:23,128
Heck, yeah?
62
00:02:23,130 --> 00:02:27,532
Looks like someone need to put a
dollar in the almost-swear jar.
63
00:02:27,534 --> 00:02:29,668
We've assigned all wedding
decisions randomly,
64
00:02:29,670 --> 00:02:31,770
and each of us
makes half of them.
65
00:02:31,772 --> 00:02:33,872
You know, from
venue to officiant
66
00:02:33,874 --> 00:02:39,077
to numbering system for the
tables: Roman or Dewey Decimal.
67
00:02:39,079 --> 00:02:40,912
Why not hexadecimal?
68
00:02:43,317 --> 00:02:46,117
'Cause this is our
wedding, not a joke.
69
00:02:46,920 --> 00:02:48,954
- Hey, guys.
-Hello. - Hey.
70
00:02:48,956 --> 00:02:50,422
Oh, good.
Raj is here
71
00:02:50,424 --> 00:02:52,924
to tell us
today's specials.
72
00:02:52,926 --> 00:02:56,094
Very funny. I have my interview
this afternoon.
73
00:02:56,096 --> 00:02:57,395
Oh. If it doesn't work out,
74
00:02:57,397 --> 00:02:59,130
you're ready to go
on your Mormon mission.
75
00:03:00,767 --> 00:03:02,601
I-I don't understand
what's going on here.
76
00:03:02,603 --> 00:03:04,135
Oh, what's going on here is
77
00:03:04,137 --> 00:03:06,004
I'm up for a job
at the planetarium,
78
00:03:06,006 --> 00:03:07,739
and Howard is
making fun of me.
79
00:03:07,741 --> 00:03:11,443
Oh, that's great. You're
both doing what you love.
80
00:03:11,445 --> 00:03:13,245
Well, I'm excited for you.
81
00:03:13,247 --> 00:03:15,380
Oh, thanks, yeah.
I'd be in charge of developing
82
00:03:15,382 --> 00:03:17,449
and narrating all
the planetarium shows.
83
00:03:17,451 --> 00:03:18,617
And I really want this,
84
00:03:18,619 --> 00:03:20,252
so it wouldn't kill you
to be more supportive.
85
00:03:20,254 --> 00:03:23,888
But if it did, you could bury me
at the funeral home you direct.
86
00:03:23,890 --> 00:03:28,360
Wait. The premise is that
he is dressed differently?
87
00:03:28,362 --> 00:03:30,128
Yeah.
88
00:03:30,130 --> 00:03:33,131
(laughing): That's true.
He is not dressed the same.
89
00:03:35,936 --> 00:03:37,869
(Skype tones sound)
90
00:03:37,871 --> 00:03:39,437
Hey, Dad.
91
00:03:39,439 --> 00:03:40,772
Hello, Rajesh.
92
00:03:40,774 --> 00:03:41,906
How was the interview?
93
00:03:41,908 --> 00:03:43,074
Uh, not so great.
94
00:03:43,076 --> 00:03:45,076
They asked me
what my biggest weakness was,
95
00:03:45,078 --> 00:03:48,380
and 45 minutes later,
they thanked me for coming.
96
00:03:48,382 --> 00:03:52,984
Son, don't take this the wrong
way, but what's your problem?
97
00:03:52,986 --> 00:03:56,655
I would tell you, but apparently
it takes 45 minutes.
98
00:03:56,657 --> 00:03:58,223
You know what?
99
00:03:58,225 --> 00:04:00,825
I bet it's those friends
you surround yourself with.
100
00:04:00,827 --> 00:04:03,662
Like that Howard,
always making fun of you.
101
00:04:03,664 --> 00:04:06,097
Howard doesn't mean anything
by it.
102
00:04:06,099 --> 00:04:07,432
I-I think it's cultural.
103
00:04:07,434 --> 00:04:09,401
His people come
from a very sarcastic village
104
00:04:09,403 --> 00:04:11,670
called Brooklyn.
105
00:04:11,672 --> 00:04:14,172
Don't make excuses.
106
00:04:14,174 --> 00:04:16,374
What kind of friend
acts that way?
107
00:04:16,376 --> 00:04:17,709
Well, I-I guess...
108
00:04:17,711 --> 00:04:19,277
It was a rhetorical question.
109
00:04:19,279 --> 00:04:21,579
A bad friend!
110
00:04:21,581 --> 00:04:23,581
Come on, Dad! That's just
our relationship, okay?
111
00:04:23,583 --> 00:04:25,583
He makes Indian jokes,
and I laugh,
112
00:04:25,585 --> 00:04:29,487
but, you know, with angry eyes
so he knows it's not okay.
113
00:04:29,489 --> 00:04:32,090
I, too, was in a relationship
114
00:04:32,092 --> 00:04:35,327
with someone who made me
feel bad about myself.
115
00:04:35,329 --> 00:04:37,962
If you're talking about Mom,
I don't want to hear it.
116
00:04:37,964 --> 00:04:40,165
I'm just saying,
if you replace Howard
117
00:04:40,167 --> 00:04:43,034
with a nice 22-year-old
grad student,
118
00:04:43,036 --> 00:04:46,571
your self-confidence will soar.
119
00:04:48,909 --> 00:04:51,309
All right, Amy,
you're up.
120
00:04:51,311 --> 00:04:54,079
Next decision.
121
00:04:54,081 --> 00:04:55,213
AMY:
Come on, first dance!
122
00:04:55,215 --> 00:04:56,948
Come on, first dance!
123
00:04:56,950 --> 00:04:59,417
(ding)
124
00:04:59,419 --> 00:05:00,785
Invitations!
Oh!
125
00:05:00,787 --> 00:05:01,953
That's a good one.
126
00:05:01,955 --> 00:05:03,288
Just a suggestion--
127
00:05:03,290 --> 00:05:07,225
hologram projected out of R2-D2.
128
00:05:07,227 --> 00:05:10,295
Thanks for your input,
but this is my decision,
129
00:05:10,297 --> 00:05:12,397
and I'm gonna go with...
130
00:05:12,399 --> 00:05:15,633
Old English calligraphy
on Egyptian papyrus.
131
00:05:15,635 --> 00:05:18,002
Oh, what a fun mashup.
132
00:05:18,004 --> 00:05:20,705
It's like the chicken
and waffles of orthography.
133
00:05:21,842 --> 00:05:23,308
Your turn.
134
00:05:23,310 --> 00:05:26,177
(rhythmic clicking)
135
00:05:27,013 --> 00:05:28,246
(ding)
136
00:05:28,248 --> 00:05:29,547
Ring bearer!
Oh.
137
00:05:29,549 --> 00:05:32,917
Boy, I'm so glad that
R2-D2 is still available.
138
00:05:32,919 --> 00:05:35,754
You know,
this is really fun.
139
00:05:35,756 --> 00:05:37,856
I can't believe that people say
that planning a wedding is one
140
00:05:37,858 --> 00:05:39,257
of the most stressful things
in life.
141
00:05:39,259 --> 00:05:42,160
I know. Not a day goes by
that I don't marvel
142
00:05:42,162 --> 00:05:44,362
how much better we are
than other people.
143
00:05:47,033 --> 00:05:49,000
I'm so sorry the
interview didn't go well.
144
00:05:49,002 --> 00:05:50,635
Yeah, you would've
been perfect for it.
145
00:05:50,637 --> 00:05:52,437
Oh, I just
get so nervous,
146
00:05:52,439 --> 00:05:54,606
and then I start apologizing
for being nervous, and...
147
00:05:54,608 --> 00:05:57,275
You guys don't want
to hear about this. I'm sorry.
148
00:05:57,277 --> 00:05:58,410
Stop apologizing!
149
00:05:58,412 --> 00:05:59,611
Oh, my God!
150
00:05:59,613 --> 00:06:01,312
You sound just like
the woman at the interview!
151
00:06:01,314 --> 00:06:03,948
Have you ever thought
about talking
152
00:06:03,950 --> 00:06:06,384
to some kind of therapist
about all this?
153
00:06:06,386 --> 00:06:07,685
Ugh. Maybe.
154
00:06:07,687 --> 00:06:10,288
Hey, Leonard, do you think
your mom would be available?
155
00:06:10,290 --> 00:06:14,192
Yeah, you don't want to do that.
156
00:06:15,028 --> 00:06:16,528
Talking to my mom
157
00:06:16,530 --> 00:06:19,063
to get more confidence
is like talking to a lion
158
00:06:19,065 --> 00:06:21,099
to get more alive.
159
00:06:21,101 --> 00:06:23,334
Well, my dad thinks
160
00:06:23,336 --> 00:06:25,670
it's because Howard's always
making fun of me.
161
00:06:25,672 --> 00:06:27,272
Well, that makes sense.
162
00:06:27,274 --> 00:06:29,340
Well, what do you mean,
that makes sense?
163
00:06:29,342 --> 00:06:31,609
Well, Howard does make fun
of him a lot.
164
00:06:31,611 --> 00:06:33,545
Well, that's not
all Howard's fault.
165
00:06:33,547 --> 00:06:36,247
I mean, if Raj doesn't want
to be made fun of, then I...
166
00:06:36,249 --> 00:06:40,251
Hmm. I don't know a nice way
to finish this sentence.
167
00:06:40,253 --> 00:06:42,120
Well, so you're on his side?
168
00:06:42,122 --> 00:06:43,455
I'm just saying,
169
00:06:43,457 --> 00:06:45,824
that's what friends do. You
know, they bust on each other.
170
00:06:45,826 --> 00:06:47,158
It doesn't
mean anything.
171
00:06:47,160 --> 00:06:48,860
Well, I'm not surprised
you think so.
172
00:06:48,862 --> 00:06:50,128
Why is that?
173
00:06:50,130 --> 00:06:52,030
Well, you can be
kind of mean to me.
174
00:06:52,032 --> 00:06:54,933
Well, that's
because you're...
175
00:06:54,935 --> 00:06:59,804
Wow. I don't know how
to finish that sentence, either.
176
00:06:59,806 --> 00:07:03,274
You know what? I think we're
both done being disrespected.
177
00:07:04,311 --> 00:07:07,879
I got a few rounds left in me.
178
00:07:07,881 --> 00:07:10,882
Attaboy, champ.
179
00:07:12,118 --> 00:07:15,920
Okay, let's see what
we've got so far.
180
00:07:15,922 --> 00:07:18,890
I arrive in a Little Houseon the Prairie style
181
00:07:18,892 --> 00:07:21,626
horse-drawn buggy.
182
00:07:21,628 --> 00:07:26,431
Where you are met with
an honor guard of stormtroopers.
183
00:07:26,433 --> 00:07:29,601
Do you think
that might be jarring,
184
00:07:29,603 --> 00:07:32,537
going from wholesome pioneers
to space Nazis?
185
00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:36,007
I see what you're saying.
186
00:07:36,009 --> 00:07:38,009
You're thinking
that you should arrive
187
00:07:38,011 --> 00:07:42,146
in a replica
of Luke Skywalker's landspeeder.
188
00:07:42,148 --> 00:07:45,083
It's not what I'm thinking,
189
00:07:45,085 --> 00:07:46,885
and to save you
190
00:07:46,887 --> 00:07:48,753
the trouble for the future,
191
00:07:48,755 --> 00:07:50,889
it will never be
what I'm thinking.
192
00:07:50,891 --> 00:07:54,759
Well... if the ushers are
so important to you,
193
00:07:54,761 --> 00:07:56,261
what if I
propose a trade?
194
00:07:56,263 --> 00:08:01,165
You may pick that, and I will
decide, say, first dance.
195
00:08:01,167 --> 00:08:05,470
Great. Then the ushers
will be... my cousins
196
00:08:05,472 --> 00:08:08,473
dressed in frontier frock coats.
Oh.
197
00:08:08,475 --> 00:08:13,244
And the first dance will be
that we won't have one.
198
00:08:13,246 --> 00:08:15,914
All right. Then our...
199
00:08:15,916 --> 00:08:18,883
second dance will be
the first dance.
200
00:08:18,885 --> 00:08:22,186
Unless we have
no dance at all.
201
00:08:22,188 --> 00:08:24,389
Ha-ha.
202
00:08:25,492 --> 00:08:27,525
Well, if we're changing things,
203
00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:31,529
then instead
of throwing confetti,
204
00:08:31,531 --> 00:08:33,031
we'll release butterflies.
205
00:08:33,033 --> 00:08:36,401
Airborne worms?! Have
you lost your mind?!
206
00:08:36,403 --> 00:08:38,303
Well, if you're
going to do that,
207
00:08:38,305 --> 00:08:39,837
then I am changing the officiant
208
00:08:39,839 --> 00:08:41,573
to that husky Spider-Man
209
00:08:41,575 --> 00:08:44,542
that hangs out
at the Chinese Theater.
210
00:08:44,544 --> 00:08:49,113
Fine. Wedding
toasts in Latin.
211
00:08:49,115 --> 00:08:53,618
Great. Vows in Klingon.
212
00:08:53,620 --> 00:08:56,788
Then I'm changing the
flower girl to a dog.
213
00:08:57,958 --> 00:09:00,358
And guess what he'll be
scattering instead of petals!
214
00:09:03,263 --> 00:09:04,362
(knocking)
215
00:09:04,364 --> 00:09:06,798
Want to grab
some lunch?
216
00:09:06,800 --> 00:09:08,967
You know what?
I don't think so.
217
00:09:08,969 --> 00:09:11,269
Well, let me guess.
You're not eating
218
00:09:11,271 --> 00:09:15,373
because the mean girls circled
your chubby bits in marker?
219
00:09:15,375 --> 00:09:18,543
No. That. That right there.
That's the reason.
220
00:09:18,545 --> 00:09:19,877
You're always
making fun of me.
221
00:09:19,879 --> 00:09:21,813
(laughing):
Oh, those are just jokes.
222
00:09:21,815 --> 00:09:23,314
It's my way
223
00:09:23,316 --> 00:09:25,083
of saying that
we're friends,
224
00:09:25,085 --> 00:09:27,619
and it wouldn't hurt
you to drop a few!
225
00:09:29,122 --> 00:09:32,490
See? No wonder
I don't have any confidence.
226
00:09:32,492 --> 00:09:34,959
Come on. You can't
blame that on me.
227
00:09:34,961 --> 00:09:39,263
Why not? 15 years
of constant ridicule. I-I think
228
00:09:39,265 --> 00:09:41,265
our relationship
has become toxic.
229
00:09:41,267 --> 00:09:43,267
Uh, what are you saying?
230
00:09:43,269 --> 00:09:47,438
I think you and I need to spend
some time away from each other.
231
00:09:49,643 --> 00:09:53,077
Look, I... I can see
you're upset, but...
232
00:09:53,079 --> 00:09:56,781
I'm gonna need some
ground rules. I mean,
233
00:09:56,783 --> 00:10:00,385
while we're apart, can I see
other needy Indian men?
234
00:10:00,387 --> 00:10:02,553
Get out!
235
00:10:06,451 --> 00:10:08,284
What do you
think will make
236
00:10:08,286 --> 00:10:10,219
the wedding worse for Amy:
237
00:10:10,221 --> 00:10:13,923
a cake made with salt
instead of sugar...
238
00:10:15,660 --> 00:10:19,695
...or a cake iced
with congealed gravy?
239
00:10:20,565 --> 00:10:22,898
That is a trick question.
240
00:10:22,900 --> 00:10:26,235
The answer is:
you as the groom.
241
00:10:28,406 --> 00:10:30,372
Neither of them
will be the actual cake.
242
00:10:30,374 --> 00:10:32,374
I'm just using it
as a bargaining chip
243
00:10:32,376 --> 00:10:36,045
to get Amy to agree to the whole
wedding party getting rings
244
00:10:36,047 --> 00:10:40,115
and us getting one ring
to rule them all.
245
00:10:41,285 --> 00:10:46,589
I forget, which mental hospital
are you guys registered at?
246
00:10:46,591 --> 00:10:47,523
Hello.
247
00:10:47,525 --> 00:10:48,858
- Hello. - Hello.
- Hello.
248
00:10:51,696 --> 00:10:52,962
Really?
249
00:10:52,964 --> 00:10:54,296
You're not
gonna sit here?
250
00:10:54,298 --> 00:10:57,433
I'll sit there as
soon as you leave.
251
00:10:57,435 --> 00:10:59,134
You're still
on this?
252
00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:00,769
I said sorry.
253
00:11:00,771 --> 00:11:04,073
Well, "sorry" doesn't make up
for years of emotional abuse.
254
00:11:04,075 --> 00:11:06,575
(sighs)
Well, what's it gonna take?
255
00:11:06,577 --> 00:11:09,778
You want half my sandwich?
256
00:11:11,816 --> 00:11:13,382
What is going on?
257
00:11:13,384 --> 00:11:17,119
Raj is trying to blame me
for his pathetic life.
258
00:11:17,121 --> 00:11:18,654
His life isn't pathetic.
259
00:11:18,656 --> 00:11:21,524
He's got that whole table
to himself.
260
00:11:22,660 --> 00:11:25,928
One of us should go sit with Raj
so he's not alone.
261
00:11:25,930 --> 00:11:28,564
But I'm not done telling you
about my wedding revenge plans.
262
00:11:28,566 --> 00:11:29,999
You're right. Go on.
263
00:11:30,001 --> 00:11:31,233
Okay, well, first,
I'm going to try
264
00:11:31,235 --> 00:11:34,403
to get Amy to trade with me
for hors d'oeuvres...
265
00:11:36,541 --> 00:11:39,141
Oh, good,
you're here.
266
00:11:39,143 --> 00:11:41,677
I've decided
on our centerpieces.
267
00:11:41,679 --> 00:11:45,481
I just hope your family
isn't allergic to asbestos.
268
00:11:45,483 --> 00:11:47,449
Sheldon, please stop.
269
00:11:47,451 --> 00:11:49,818
If we keep doing this, we're
gonna end up with a wedding
270
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:52,288
that neither one of us
will enjoy.
271
00:11:52,290 --> 00:11:55,024
Are you saying
you don't want to get married?
272
00:11:55,026 --> 00:11:57,026
No, of course I do.
273
00:11:57,028 --> 00:12:00,496
But that seems to be
the one thing we can agree on.
274
00:12:00,498 --> 00:12:03,832
Maybe we should
just get married at City Hall
275
00:12:03,834 --> 00:12:06,135
and forget
about everything else.
276
00:12:06,137 --> 00:12:09,705
City Hall, hmm.
277
00:12:09,707 --> 00:12:13,008
I do like metal detectors
278
00:12:13,010 --> 00:12:16,946
and the sound of
permits being denied.
279
00:12:16,948 --> 00:12:18,347
Right.
280
00:12:18,349 --> 00:12:20,449
And if we're not enjoying
planning this wedding,
281
00:12:20,451 --> 00:12:21,884
then what's the point?
282
00:12:21,886 --> 00:12:23,919
Well, historically,
a wedding was to let
283
00:12:23,921 --> 00:12:26,288
other potential suitors know
that we're unavailable.
284
00:12:26,290 --> 00:12:28,657
But I think matching
T-shirts that say
285
00:12:28,659 --> 00:12:31,493
"Hands off the merchandise"
accomplish the same thing.
286
00:12:32,363 --> 00:12:36,599
So let's pick a day
and just go do it.
287
00:12:38,803 --> 00:12:41,236
How 'bout tomorrow?
288
00:12:41,238 --> 00:12:43,238
R-Really?
289
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:44,707
That soon?
290
00:12:44,709 --> 00:12:46,208
Why wait?
291
00:12:46,210 --> 00:12:48,277
I mean, it's not that I think
we're living in sin,
292
00:12:48,279 --> 00:12:51,013
but I do like the idea
that our next act of intimacy
293
00:12:51,015 --> 00:12:53,749
will be a legal requirement.
294
00:12:54,719 --> 00:12:58,287
Tomorrow we'll go downtown
and get married.
295
00:12:58,289 --> 00:13:01,724
Or we could go to
Beverly Hills City Hall
296
00:13:01,726 --> 00:13:04,593
if you want
a destination wedding.
297
00:13:08,065 --> 00:13:10,766
Hey. You look
good today.
298
00:13:10,768 --> 00:13:12,901
What happened? What's wrong?
299
00:13:13,671 --> 00:13:15,371
Just tell me. I can take it.
300
00:13:15,373 --> 00:13:18,607
Nothing. I felt bad
about being mean to you,
301
00:13:18,609 --> 00:13:20,109
so I'm being nice.
302
00:13:20,111 --> 00:13:21,143
Oh, okay.
303
00:13:21,145 --> 00:13:22,344
Sorry. I wasn't ready for it.
304
00:13:22,346 --> 00:13:23,612
Try again.
305
00:13:23,614 --> 00:13:24,680
You look handsome.
306
00:13:24,682 --> 00:13:27,049
Nope, still freaking me out.
307
00:13:27,985 --> 00:13:29,785
Hello, friends!
PENNY AND LEONARD: Hey.
308
00:13:29,787 --> 00:13:31,353
Hey, what's going on
with your hair?
309
00:13:31,355 --> 00:13:34,056
Uh, nothing. I just decided
to stop straightening it.
310
00:13:34,058 --> 00:13:38,060
Wait, so you were making your
hair look like that on purpose?
311
00:13:38,062 --> 00:13:41,864
When I first moved to America,
I wanted to fit in.
312
00:13:41,866 --> 00:13:43,032
And Howard's hair was straight,
313
00:13:43,034 --> 00:13:44,733
and he was the coolest person
I knew.
314
00:13:44,735 --> 00:13:47,503
Then you never saw
any other people?
315
00:13:47,505 --> 00:13:49,938
You know what, I-I don't want
to talk about Howard.
316
00:13:49,940 --> 00:13:52,274
I came here to celebrate!
317
00:13:52,276 --> 00:13:55,277
Yeah. I went back
to the planetarium and told them
318
00:13:55,279 --> 00:13:57,680
they were making a huge mistake,
that I'd be perfect for the job.
319
00:13:57,682 --> 00:13:59,915
I was... I was charming,
I was confident.
320
00:13:59,917 --> 00:14:01,350
And they gave it to me.
321
00:14:01,352 --> 00:14:02,351
Wow.
(chuckles)
322
00:14:02,353 --> 00:14:03,318
That's amazing!
Yeah, plus,
323
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,319
it turns out the guy they hired
324
00:14:04,321 --> 00:14:06,722
got busted
at a sketchy massage parlor.
325
00:14:08,092 --> 00:14:10,059
Oh, so happy ending for you!
326
00:14:10,061 --> 00:14:12,061
Oh, and for him.
327
00:14:12,897 --> 00:14:15,397
Yeah, I was on my way
to tell Howard,
328
00:14:15,399 --> 00:14:16,765
and then I remembered
I wasn't speaking to him,
329
00:14:16,767 --> 00:14:18,233
so I came over here.
330
00:14:18,235 --> 00:14:19,880
Mm, don't you think it's time
you two made up?
331
00:14:19,904 --> 00:14:21,304
No.
332
00:14:21,305 --> 00:14:23,806
No, actually.
I don't need his negative energy
333
00:14:23,808 --> 00:14:24,940
in my life right now.
334
00:14:24,942 --> 00:14:26,742
Standing up to him
was-was hard,
335
00:14:26,744 --> 00:14:30,012
but it made me realize
that I can do anything.
336
00:14:30,014 --> 00:14:33,182
And, yeah, it's a little sad,
but, you know,
337
00:14:33,184 --> 00:14:35,317
life is all about...
(cork pops)
338
00:14:36,487 --> 00:14:37,586
Uh, sorry.
339
00:14:37,588 --> 00:14:40,255
I thought
you were wrapping things up.
340
00:14:43,994 --> 00:14:45,828
Hey, Howard.
Hey.
341
00:14:45,830 --> 00:14:46,962
Where is everybody?
342
00:14:46,964 --> 00:14:48,664
I could ask you
the same question.
343
00:14:50,534 --> 00:14:53,736
Wow, this conversation
got mean fast.
344
00:14:53,738 --> 00:14:57,039
Sorry. I'm just
in a bad mood.
345
00:14:57,041 --> 00:14:58,807
Yeah? What's going on?
346
00:14:58,809 --> 00:15:00,976
I had a falling out with Raj.
347
00:15:00,978 --> 00:15:02,778
He said I make fun
of him too much
348
00:15:02,780 --> 00:15:04,880
and it's wrecked his confidence.
349
00:15:04,882 --> 00:15:07,483
Please, confidence is
like red blood cells--
350
00:15:07,485 --> 00:15:10,853
it's nice if you got some,
but you don't need 'em.
351
00:15:10,855 --> 00:15:13,789
Yeah. I mean,
your life's a mess.
352
00:15:13,791 --> 00:15:16,658
I don't see you blaming
other people for it.
353
00:15:16,660 --> 00:15:20,329
That's right. I grew up in a
loving, supportive household.
354
00:15:21,132 --> 00:15:24,199
This is all on me.
355
00:15:25,136 --> 00:15:28,303
Maybe I'll just hang out here
for a while.
356
00:15:28,305 --> 00:15:30,773
Great. And you can make
fun of me all you want.
357
00:15:30,775 --> 00:15:32,141
No, that's okay.
358
00:15:32,143 --> 00:15:33,675
No, no, no. Go on.
I can take it.
359
00:15:33,677 --> 00:15:36,078
My feelings,
like my extremities,
360
00:15:36,080 --> 00:15:38,814
are basically numb.
361
00:15:41,452 --> 00:15:42,684
Here's your license.
362
00:15:42,686 --> 00:15:44,386
Now, if you wait
over there,
363
00:15:44,388 --> 00:15:46,054
we'll call you
when the officiant's ready.
364
00:15:46,056 --> 00:15:47,389
Do we need a blood test?
365
00:15:47,391 --> 00:15:49,024
No.
366
00:15:49,026 --> 00:15:51,466
Well, then, how will you know
whether or not we have syphilis?
367
00:15:54,064 --> 00:15:58,066
I'm gonna go out on a limb
and say you don't have that.
368
00:16:00,404 --> 00:16:03,071
Okay, Sheldon, you officially
exceeded the number of times
369
00:16:03,073 --> 00:16:06,074
I hoped to hear the word
"syphilis" on my wedding day.
370
00:16:07,845 --> 00:16:09,444
I can't believe
we're doing this.
371
00:16:09,446 --> 00:16:11,947
I know. I'm
getting married.
372
00:16:11,949 --> 00:16:14,516
The new Star Wars
movie's coming out.
373
00:16:14,518 --> 00:16:17,252
We are really finishing
this year strong.
374
00:16:18,088 --> 00:16:21,023
Okay, but
of the two of tho...
375
00:16:21,025 --> 00:16:23,525
You know, I'm not even gonna
ask. I'm not gonna ask.
376
00:16:27,031 --> 00:16:30,265
Are you sad we're not
having a big party?
377
00:16:31,168 --> 00:16:33,569
I'm really not.
378
00:16:34,705 --> 00:16:37,306
I'm here with you.
It's perfect.
379
00:16:40,578 --> 00:16:42,277
Cooper-Fowler?
380
00:16:42,279 --> 00:16:43,612
You're up.
381
00:16:43,614 --> 00:16:45,414
(chuckles)
382
00:16:45,416 --> 00:16:47,149
Can you believe it?
383
00:16:47,151 --> 00:16:51,119
We're about to walk in that
door, Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler,
384
00:16:51,121 --> 00:16:53,488
and walk out
as a married couple,
385
00:16:53,490 --> 00:16:56,225
Dr. Cooper and Dr. Fowler.
386
00:16:59,296 --> 00:17:01,463
Wait.
387
00:17:02,266 --> 00:17:04,499
I want to have
a first dance with you.
388
00:17:04,501 --> 00:17:06,969
Right here?
389
00:17:06,971 --> 00:17:08,136
At our wedding.
390
00:17:08,138 --> 00:17:10,539
Th-This is
our wedding.
391
00:17:10,541 --> 00:17:12,708
No.
392
00:17:13,510 --> 00:17:15,410
I want a real wedding.
393
00:17:15,412 --> 00:17:17,412
Well...
(sighs)
394
00:17:17,414 --> 00:17:20,048
Sheldon, it was just
making us fight.
395
00:17:20,050 --> 00:17:22,517
I know. But, Amy,
396
00:17:22,519 --> 00:17:24,953
I never thought
I'd want to marry anyone.
397
00:17:24,955 --> 00:17:29,224
So the fact that I found you
is astonishing.
398
00:17:29,226 --> 00:17:32,861
It's-it's like finding
dark matter,
399
00:17:32,863 --> 00:17:34,263
except they're looking
for dark matter.
400
00:17:34,265 --> 00:17:36,031
I wasn't even looking for you.
401
00:17:37,234 --> 00:17:39,835
S-So you're even better
than dark matter.
402
00:17:39,837 --> 00:17:41,837
(chuckles)
Sheldon.
403
00:17:41,839 --> 00:17:46,375
Plus, plus, you interact
with light, so I can see you.
404
00:17:46,377 --> 00:17:49,011
And, also, you don't account
for the missing mass
405
00:17:49,013 --> 00:17:51,647
in the universe. Oh, and...
Okay, I think
406
00:17:51,649 --> 00:17:54,283
you're getting caught up on the
ways I'm not like dark matter.
407
00:17:54,285 --> 00:17:55,951
Right. Sorry.
408
00:17:55,953 --> 00:17:59,655
But when you make
a discovery like this,
409
00:17:59,657 --> 00:18:02,157
you don't just take it down
to City Hall--
410
00:18:02,159 --> 00:18:04,126
you tell the whole world.
411
00:18:04,128 --> 00:18:06,962
And so I'll say it
in Latin or Klingon
412
00:18:06,964 --> 00:18:08,330
or-or smoke signals,
413
00:18:08,332 --> 00:18:10,866
if-if that's not
cultural appropriation.
414
00:18:10,868 --> 00:18:11,733
It is.
415
00:18:11,735 --> 00:18:13,068
Okay, so not smoke signals.
416
00:18:14,571 --> 00:18:17,572
But I want
to do this right.
417
00:18:17,574 --> 00:18:19,841
(exhales)
418
00:18:19,843 --> 00:18:21,176
Me, too.
419
00:18:22,413 --> 00:18:24,579
Let's go plan a wedding.
420
00:18:32,556 --> 00:18:34,790
You know, we did get dressed up
421
00:18:34,792 --> 00:18:37,459
and come all the way
to City Hall.
422
00:18:37,461 --> 00:18:39,261
What are you thinking?
423
00:18:39,263 --> 00:18:43,465
I have always wanted a permit
to dispose of hazardous waste.
424
00:18:45,302 --> 00:18:47,069
Let's do it.
425
00:18:51,471 --> 00:18:55,440
Do we know if there's life in
the methane plumes of Enceladus
426
00:18:55,442 --> 00:18:58,409
or under the icy surface
of Europa?
427
00:18:58,411 --> 00:19:02,714
Come back on Tuesday
for my next show to find out.
428
00:19:02,716 --> 00:19:05,783
Spoiler alert: we don't.
429
00:19:07,320 --> 00:19:09,287
I'm Dr. Rajesh
Koothrappali,
430
00:19:09,289 --> 00:19:11,489
and thank you for
taking a walk with me
431
00:19:11,491 --> 00:19:13,791
through the stars.
432
00:19:15,962 --> 00:19:18,363
Wow. I never knew science
could be so interesting.
433
00:19:18,365 --> 00:19:20,832
Hey, I talk to you
about science all the time.
434
00:19:20,834 --> 00:19:22,800
Oh, you sure do, sweetie.
435
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:26,404
Should we go
congratulate him?
436
00:19:26,406 --> 00:19:29,607
I'll do better than that-- I'll
give him constructive criticism.
437
00:19:29,609 --> 00:19:33,878
Here's some constructive
criticism: don't.
438
00:19:36,349 --> 00:19:38,649
- I'll catch up with you guys.
- Okay.
439
00:19:40,253 --> 00:19:41,395
Raj, you were terrific!
440
00:19:41,419 --> 00:19:42,488
Oh, thank you.
I was so nervous,
441
00:19:42,489 --> 00:19:44,088
my armpits are like a swamp.
442
00:19:44,090 --> 00:19:46,824
Oh, your hug just got
downgraded to a high five.
443
00:19:47,627 --> 00:19:49,961
(chuckles)
Your palms are sweaty, too.
444
00:19:49,963 --> 00:19:52,730
Hey. What are you doing
all the way in the back?
445
00:19:52,732 --> 00:19:54,232
Hiding out.
446
00:19:54,234 --> 00:19:56,434
I wasn't sure if I was welcome.
447
00:19:56,436 --> 00:19:58,836
This is ridiculous.
You guys are best friends.
448
00:19:58,838 --> 00:20:00,505
Of course he wants you here.
449
00:20:00,507 --> 00:20:03,775
You sure? He seems to be doing
pretty well without me.
450
00:20:03,777 --> 00:20:05,943
Look, he was just stressed out.
451
00:20:05,945 --> 00:20:07,845
His life is not better
without you.
452
00:20:07,847 --> 00:20:09,380
Come on. Come say hi.
453
00:20:10,216 --> 00:20:11,783
Okay.
454
00:20:13,920 --> 00:20:17,221
Dr. Koothrappali, I just wanted
to tell you that was amazing.
455
00:20:17,223 --> 00:20:19,223
Uh, counterpoint...
To the car.
456
00:20:20,593 --> 00:20:22,393
Can I ask you
a question?
457
00:20:22,395 --> 00:20:24,429
Of course you can.
Ooh, that went well.
458
00:20:24,431 --> 00:20:26,364
Ask me another.
459
00:20:27,300 --> 00:20:30,134
I think
I'm just gonna go.
460
00:20:32,071 --> 00:20:34,105
If there is life beneath
the surface of these planets,
461
00:20:34,107 --> 00:20:35,907
how would we even detect it?
462
00:20:35,909 --> 00:20:38,342
Uh, that's
a complicated question.
463
00:20:38,344 --> 00:20:40,011
Let me start with a simpler one.
464
00:20:40,013 --> 00:20:41,913
Can I buy you a coffee?
465
00:20:41,915 --> 00:20:44,749
A-Also a complicated question.
(chuckles nervously)
466
00:20:44,751 --> 00:20:47,318
Because I want to say yes,
but if I drink coffee this late,
467
00:20:47,320 --> 00:20:48,619
then I'll be up all night.
468
00:20:48,621 --> 00:20:51,022
Decaf, genius.
(clears throat)
469
00:20:51,024 --> 00:20:52,590
I would love to.
470
00:20:52,592 --> 00:20:59,492
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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