All language subtitles for The Big Bang Theory - 11x07 - The Geology Methodology.720p.HDTV.sva.en

Hey, uh, who's
free tonight?

- Oh, I think I'm...
- Hang on.

We've made this
mistake before.

It's how we
wound up at

his cousin Deepak's
Tupperware party.

Hey, you use that
collapsible bowl all the time,

and you know it.

And it's not
like that.

I just thought we could, you
know, hang out and go to a bar.

- Sure. - Very well.
- Sounds fun.

And watch cricket.

That sound you hear,
ironically, crickets.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Bert,
how you doing?

Well, you know, we geologists

always get a little sad
when Rocktober's over.

- Wordplay?
- Yes.

Funny wordplay?

- What do you think?
- Eh.

Trust your gut.

Sheldon, I've got these

four-billion-year-old
meteorites.

I thought maybe they'd show
signs of neutrino interactions.

I could really use someone like
you to help me with the math.

Oh, so they would act as
natural dark matter detectors.

That sounds interesting.

It does, but it's still geology.

Sorry, Bert, I don't have time
to play rocks with you.

I'm not asking you
to play rocks.

I'm asking you to collaborate
on a research project.

Although, if
there's time,

I guess we could play a round

of zinc, zinc, piece of quartz.

Does sound better
than cricket.

Thank you for asking.

Unfortunately, I have
real science to do.

But you feel free
to rock on.

That's how you do it.

All right.

Sheldon, what are you doing?

Bert's one of
the top guys in his field.

And somewhere there's a mime
who's top in his field,

but you don't see me rushing
to collaborate with him

on new ways to be
stuck in a box.

Also something I would
watch instead of cricket.

Oh. (chuckles)

Hello.

Hey, Sheldon.

I've been thinking
about it, and I suppose

I-I could help you
with your research.

What changed your mind?

Bert, I'm a gift horse.

Don't look me in the mouth.

Sorry. I'm happy
you want to help out.

If it's easier for you, we could
just work at your office.

No, no, no,
not my office, no.

Uh, let's-let's
do it here,

in-in the evenings,
after everyone's gone home.

I just have to see
if my evenings are free.

That's a joke. They are.

Okay.

Well, then I will
see you tonight.

(gasps)

Well, you know what?

(stammers) Close the blinds.
We can start right now.

♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪

♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪

♪ The Earth began to cool ♪

♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪

♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪

♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪

♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪

♪ Bang! ♪

♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x07 ♪
The Geology Methodology
Original Air Date

(crowd cheering)

(sportscast playing over TV)

I don't get how you can
enjoy cricket.

It makes no sense.

Did you just come
here to complain?

Yeah. That's the sport
of my people.

Ooh, that's Ravichandran
Ashwin. He's amazing.

He makes Hardik Pandya look
like Bhuvneshwar Kumar.

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, save some
syllables for the rest of us.

Hey, I think that's
Bernadette's friend over there.

KOOTHRAPPALI:
Oh, yeah.

Hey, Ruchi!

I-I hope this
isn't awkward.

The last time we met, I
kind of embarrassed myself.

Let's see if you can
go two for two.

Hey, guys.
Hey.

- Hi.
- Are you here by yourself?

Yeah, I couldn't convince anyone
to come watch cricket with me.

(chuckles) Tell me about it.
I had to drag this guy.

You're more than welcome
to join us if you'd like.

Thanks.

(crowd groans)

Arre uske taang
pay ball kar!

What'd she say?

Uske taang
pay ball kar.

Oh, that clears that up.

Well, no, she's telling the
bowler to bowl a yorker.

It's the most brutal
ball in cricket.

I was at the match when Shoaib
bowled back-to-back yorkers.

Well, I was there, too!
What a coincidence!

Well, there were 120,000 people
at that match, so...

Yeah, India, right?
Everywhere you go,

there's, like, 120,000 people.
(chuckles)

So what do
you think of

our chances at
the World Cup?

Ah, World Cup.

You know, it'll all depend

if Kohli's batting in form.
I know.

It doesn't even matter
how many all-rounders you have.

Isn't that the truth?

You know, I was the best
leg spinner in my high school?

Yeah, like, I bowled
the meanest googly.

Speaking of googlies,
I'm gonna go.

I've been modeling different
types of dark matter

and the traces they would leave

on the zircon
inside your meteorite.

What's this one here?

That's actually a dark matter
model of my own creation.

I call it the Cooper Boson.

Cool. I got to name a rock once.

I named it
Moderately Sedimented Shale.

Guess I kind of
pooped the bed on that one.

You know, Bert,
I've got to say,

this work has been
surprisingly engaging.

Yeah, it's pretty cool.

(ringtone playing)

Hello, Amy.

(stammers)

What do you mean,
where am I?

I'm in my office.

No, I'm at your office
and you're not here.

I thought I'd surprise you
with dinner.

For future reference,
the best surprises

are the ones I know about
three days in advance.

Where are you?

It's a surprise.

Doesn't feel so good, does it?

Well, I have food.

I thought we could eat together,

but I guess if you have
other plans...

What?! I'm here!

Exactly where
I said I was.

(panting)

Let's eat.

Hello.

- Hey, buddy, what's up?
- Hey.

Um, I need to talk
to Penny alone.

(laughs)

What can I do for you?

Just a minute, I want to make
sure Leonard can't hear us.

(loudly): I've got
a box of cupcakes.

Okay, we're good.

I'm working with Bert, but I
don't want anyone to find out.

Well, you just told me,
so strong start.

Penny, this is serious.

My reputation
is on the line.

What are people gonna think
when they see us collaborating?

I don't know. Poor Bert?

I am a respected
theoretical physicist.

I aspire to win a
Nobel Prize someday.

But nobody's gonna
take me seriously

if they find out I've
been dabbling in geology.

Well, why not?
They're both sciences.

And I know because
they're classes

my high school counselor said
“weren't for me.”

They're very different.

Physics answers
the question:

what is the nature
of the universe?

Geology answers the question:
what'd I just trip over?

All right, well,
then don't work with Bert.

Oh, but I like the work.
Then work with him.

Yeah, but I'm ashamed
of the field.

- Then don't work with him.
- Yeah, but we could prove dark matter.

Then work with him.
But I just think that people...

How many times are
you gonna do this?

My record is 14.

Okay, this is about science.

Why'd you come to me?

Well, because it's also
about my reputation.

And somehow you manage
to hold your head high

despite your checkered past.

Checkered past?

It's a figure of speech

referring to how
sexually promiscuous you were.

Really?

Well, I've got
a figure of speech about

how sexually promiscuous
you can go be with yourself.

And what is it?

Look, while Bernadette's
on bed rest,

we're gonna have to
divide and conquer.

I've got one monitor for her,
one for the baby.

Which do you want?

I'll take the baby.
She's less emasculating.

Good morning!

Scones?
Ah, thanks.

They're all for you; I already
had breakfast at Ruchi's.

You're kidding.
You slept with her?

Well, there wasn't
a lot of sleeping involved.

I mean, she slept,
I stayed awake.

I was afraid of snoring 'cause
I didn't have my special pillow.

BERNADETTE:
Howard!

Can you help me
to the bathroom?!

Well, at least the romance
is still alive.

So, you and Ruchi?

Yeah, I'm sorry.
I know you liked her, too,

but we just bumped into each
other last night and hit it off.

No, that's fine.

You're my friend and
I'm happy for you.

Oh, thank you, Stuart.

Plus, I don't know
how you're gonna screw it up,

but I know you will.

What's there to screw up?

She just wants
to keep things casual.

Oh, great, that's how
you're gonna screw it up.

Hey, I can be casual.

Mm-hmm.

I should get a haircut;
this thing's going south fast.

So Ruchi and I decided
to keep things casual.

(scoffs)

What? What?

I can handle casual.

(scoffs):
Oh...

Why do you keep doing that
with your face?

Because you keep saying
stupid things with yours.

Okay, fine.

I'm not great
at casual relationships,

and I don't want
to scare her off.

All right, just give her
some space, all right?

Don't call, don't text,
don't e-mail.

That's crazy.

What if I see a sunset
that reminds me of her?

All right, when do you
see her next?

Uh, we're having dinner tonight.

Okay, put a rubber band
around your wrist,

and any time you start
planning your wedding

or naming your children,

I want you to stab yourself
in the hand with a fork.

What's the rubber band for?

To slow the bleeding.

Hey, how's Bernadette
handling bed rest?

She lies around all day eating
Mallomars and hollering at me,

so her transformation from my
wife to my mother is complete.

Congratulations. I know
that's what you were hoping for.

Sheldon, you left your jacket
in my office last night.

Uh, oh. No-no, I didn't.

That's-that's not my jacket.

Then why does it say,

“Property of S. Cooper.
Stop touching it”?

It sounds like
someone named Scooper

doesn't want you
touching his jacket.

Are you guys
working together

on that meteorite
project?

(sighs)

Yes, fine, you
found me out.

I'm doing geology.

Just, please, don't tell anyone.

Are you embarrassed of me?

Oh, no, no, no,
not you.

No, just the work that you've
devoted your entire life to.

If you're ashamed to be
working with me,

then I don't want
to work with you.

Sheldon, that was pretty rude.

Well, what do you expect?
He's a geologist.

This place seems nice.

Uh, but not too nice.

Yelp called it
“good for groups.”

Would you care to buy
the lady a...?

No! Get out of here!

Sorry about that.

I just, I hate when someone
assumes two people are dating

just because they look like

they would make
beautiful babies together.

Are you sure
you're okay with this?

Honestly, Ruchi, I don't
have a lot of experience

with casual relationships.

I have some experience
with serious relationships

and a ton of experience
with no relationships.

You're funny.

Glad it came off that way.
(chuckles)

Uh, so tell me about your day.

How's work going?

Well, I spent the morning
reviewing side effects

for our fungal cream,
so it was a lot of ooze and pus.

♪ Oh, almost paradise ♪

♪ We're knocking on
heaven's door ♪

♪ Almost paradise... ♪

And then I had to catalog it

by color, viscosity

and percentage of blood.

♪ Paradise. ♪

Sounds wonderful.

Hey.

Hmm.

What you got there?

A rock.

Did some mean boys
throw it at you?

It turns out I'm the mean boy.

Although I did drop it
on my own foot, so kind of.

What's going on?

What if there was
something I wanted to do,

but I was worried other people
would think less of me?

Is that other person me, and
does it happen in the bedroom,

in which case
I think I'm cool with it?

No.

It's about working
with Bert on...

You know what?
I'm not even gonna say it.

I am just gonna say
the letter it starts with

and “ology.”

“G”-- Oh, no,
that's not gonna work.

Geology?

Yes. But we parted ways

because I was worried
about my reputation.

Sheldon, you've never
cared what people thought,

even when you really,
really should.

That dinner with my
parents comes to mind.

If I'm not gonna use
“your momma” jokes

when I meet your mother,
why'd I bother to learn them?

I'm just saying, if you think
the work is interesting,

nothing else
should matter.

You're right, Amy.

That is sage advice.

Which is surprising, considering
your momma is so dumb, she...

Nope.

She studied for a urine test.

I was supposed to go back
to India and get married,

but I realized
it wasn't what I wanted.

So I called off the engagement
and moved out here.

Well, if he wasn't your soul
mate, he wasn't your soul mate.

Oh, God, please tell me
you're not one of those.

One of whats?

I want to say teenage girls,
but that sounds mean.

Come on, you don't believe that
everyone has one perfect match?

Of course not.
That's ridiculous.

I mean, what if

your soul mate lived
halfway across the world?

You'd never meet.

Yes, you would.

I can give you,
like, 20 examples

where that happened
to Kate Hudson alone.

You know what?

People get upset
when I talk about this.

Let's just change the subject.

No, no, no.
No, it's-it's fine.

Are you saying that you don't
believe two people fall in love?

Of course they do.

It's just that
what people call “love”

is actually a series
of biochemical reactions

in the brain
that fade over time.

Yes. Like the old song,

“When a man has a biochemical
reaction for a woman.”

Raj, we're scientists.

We don't need to feel threatened

just because we understand
the mechanisms

that give rise
to romantic feelings.

It doesn't take anything away
from the experience.

Yes, it does.

Actually, it takes
everything away from it.

Love isn't
just science.

Okay? It's-it's spiritual.

It's an acknowledgment
of a mystery

that's greater than ourselves.

It's what makes people
write songs and poems,

and what has kept The Bachelor
on TV for 21 magical seasons.

Don't you think the fact that
love is given away as a prize

on a game show slightly
undermines your argument?

Uh, yes.

But I've never
missed an episode,

and I dare science
to explain that.

Bert.

Bert, Bert.

Bert, Bert, Bert.

What do you want, Sheldon?

I would like us to
work together again.

I promise to keep my
geology comments to myself,

because while some of them are
funny, all of them are mean.

Well, this is awkward.

Leonard, what are you
doing here?

Bert asked for my help.

BERT: Yeah,
he's an excellent scientist,

and he doesn't tell me

what time I can
go to the bathroom.

It's called bladder training.

When you're in your 80s,
you'll thank me for it.

Look, Sheldon,
you were a jerk to Bert,

and he walked
away from you.

So I feel like there's
a lot he could teach me.

Bert, please. (stammers)

I know I behaved poorly
in the past,

but things will be
different this time.

You'll see.

Come on, let me in.

We'll have some laughs,

we'll calculate
some isotope ratios.

I'm sorry, Sheldon.

So you just shut the door
in his face?

I got to start
writing this stuff down.

I mean, Ruchi's nice.

We're just so different.

I know.
Sometimes when you're dating,

you meet weird people.

I once met a girl
who didn't like juggling.

And she still doesn't.

So you're not gonna
see her again?

What's the point?

We're never gonna be
in a real relationship.

Right, so you'll only be
in a physical one?

Exactly.

Why would I want to spend time
with someone like that?

Someone who is
just interested in sex?

Yeah.

Raj, do you real...
Whoa, hold on.

Give him a chance.
He's gonna get this.

I don't think he is.

What is there to get?

She doesn't want
to fall in love.

At that point,

all we are is two single people

who find each other attractive
and enjoy having--

Oh, got to go!

So how was
your night with Ruchi?

Oh, great.

We ordered in some food,
we had sex, I left.

I didn't even ask
if she enjoyed it.

(chuckles)

I can field that one for her.

I mean, I did get a little misty
when we said good-bye,

but I played it off
as allergies.

I don't know if she bought it.

Again, I know.

Sheldon?

You okay?

Sheldon.

♪ Oh, almost paradise ♪

♪ We're knocking on
heaven's door ♪

♪ Almost paradise ♪

♪ How could we ask for more? ♪

♪ Paradise. ♪