Original subtitles

Previously on The Affair...

You look just like your father, Cole.

Always tell me that, but I don't see it.

Your grandfather, Silas, was a terrible person, boys.

He was a drunk. He beat your dad.

Oh, so that's what it was.

Dad had a rough childhood?

That's what was wrong with him?

Not the fact that he was a stumble-down drunk?

Dad just disappeared for six months?

- What did he do? - He went to California.

To a town with a giant rock in the middle of the sea.

Six months later, he came back with a surfboard.

He seemed a little lighter.

I think you're giving up

because we've made a mess of everything.

If you leave Luisa now, you can't play the good guy anymore.

Then you're an asshole, just like me.

I know I'm disappointing you.

And you deserve better. So, what if I left?

Would you be willing to give me the time

to just go away and...

Yes.

I don't want this to end.

I just need to know that I matter.

Do you think she even realizes these cans are hers, not ours?

No, I don't. And she's not going to

if you keep moving 'em for her.

- I'm not getting treatment. - That just doesn't make any sense.

I'm not gonna sit around and watch you die.

Believe it or not, Helen,

you don't get to make that choice.

Vik is very sick,

and he won't listen to me. He's refusing treatment.

I asked you not to tell my parents,

and what did you do?

I had to. She's your mother.

I just... just please, can we...

- please make a plan? - Okay.

Let's have a baby.

How's that for a plan?

Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com

You have to go.

I want to do it.

Yeah, but you have to go.

Wait. Let me just wash my hands.

You're gonna be late.

- It's okay. - I can do it.

Helen, it'll take two minutes.

Yeah, I know, but I know

how stressed-out you get when you're late.

Just... It's okay.

- You sure? - Yeah.

I'll just do my upper thigh.

- Okay. - Okay.

Hey, Vik.

Uh, have your... have your parents said anything?

At all?

About what?

I'll see you later today at Dr. Roper's?

- Yep. I'll be there. - Okay.

Come on, hurry up. I don't want to be late.

Mom left me your lunch, so I'll get that for you

and then we got to go.

Bye, guys!

- Have good days! - Bye, Vik!

Hey, give me back my notebook.

I'm telling you, all the new immigrants

from Lebanon, they have it so much easier than we did.

They go to the top right away.

Like that Amal Clooney.

She's not exactly a new immigrant, Dad.

Think she went to NYU.

Does this really work?

Yeah. It can read your glucose values in real time.

Why do you have to change it every two weeks?

That's so inconvenient.

Or you could just go back

to pricking your finger once a day.

Okay. You're good.

I have this customer

- who's a doctor. - Mm-hmm.

Have I told you about him?

You have, but he's not a doctor.

He's a physician's assistant.

Here, there is no difference.

There is, in fact.

He can write prescriptions.

What about him?

He says, in America,

there's no art left to medicine.

It's basically just machines doing the diagnosing.

In a few years, there will be no need for surgeons anymore.

A robot will do your job.

Things to think about.

How's the Prius working out?

It's a good car, right?

Ah...

You don't like it?

Yeah, sure, I like that it saves gas,

but sometimes I want something

with a little bit more zip, you know. Power.

Especially here in L.A., you know.

The bastards, they cut me off all the time.

What can I do?

I got this little putt-putt car.

Yeah, what did you want, Dad? A Porsche?

Hey. What's with the tone?

You asked, I told you.

- Why are you upset? - I'm not upset.

He's not upset. You're the one who sounds upset.

- I am not upset. - Why can't you be

more thankful to Vik for taking care of us?

Of course I am thankful.

He knows that.

I'm just saying, maybe we should

have better communication.

Look.

Speaking of communication,

there are a few details I want to go over.

First, um, about my life insurance.

You should know, it's about a million dollars,

and you guys are the beneficiaries.

I've kept my overhead pretty low

for most of my life.

Until you met Helen.

So I've got decent savings,

all of which will go to you.

Um, also...

before I get too sick,

I will make sure...

What...

Why do you have to be so cruel, Vikram?

- So heartless. - What?

We all heard what Helen said.

Do you think we're deaf?

And now you have to go and rub it in our faces?

Listen, Ma.

Helen and I are...

We're working on having a baby.

A grandchild.

For you and Baba.

Helen is too old to have a baby.

No, actually,

there are a lot of new treatments now.

Women are having children well into their 50s.

And we've been seeing a fertility doctor for weeks.

Hmm? Hmm?

- How is she? Is everything okay? - The surgery went very smoothly.

Now, Jenny's recovering.

You should be able to see her in about an hour.

- Thank God. - Thank you.

Let's sit, talk about next steps.

Now, I did find tumors,

which we are sending away for tests.

Wait. What does that mean?

You-you said everything went well.

Well, until we get the results back,

there's no way of knowing

whether they're malignant or benign.

M-Malignant meaning what?

Malignant meaning cancer?

We really don't know.

But I'm going to be honest with you.

Jenny could have liver cancer.

Now, I stress "could,"

- because there's... - No!

Even if the tests confirm malignancy,

there are lots of good options.

- No, no, no! - Dr. Mattu in pediatric oncology

is probably the best in the country.

- Honey. - No!

We'll set you up with a consultation immediately,

just in case, so you understand the options.

If this is worst-case scenario,

these cancers...

No! No!

- No, no. - Honey...

- Please! - These cancers...

can be very specifically targeted nowadays.

It's not fair!

She's just a little girl!

Honey, the doctor's saying they don't know yet.

Mr. Rodriguez,

our social worker, he is on the premises.

No! No!

No, no!

No!

Excuse me.

No! Please!

Have you been keeping up on the injections?

Yes, I have.

Hopefully, this will all be worth it.

Let's take a look at those follicles.

Success?

Why don't you get dressed,

and we'll meet in my office and discuss next steps.

I'm sorry.

Please, don't apologize.

- It's not your fault. - Actually, it is.

Stop.

- Because of your age? - No.

I haven't been doing the shots.

- What do you mean? - What I just said.

You haven't been injecting yourself?

No. Not all the time.

Not as much as I'm supposed to be.

Helen.

This is costing us 11 grand.

I-I know.

- I don't understand. - Well, I can't do it alone.

- You're not doing it alone. - I'm right here.

- I left work to be here. - That's not what I mean.

Vik, a child is a lot of work.

I want to give you what you want...

I really do... But I can't

go through that again if you're not gonna be here.

You fucking lied to me.

I know. I'm sorry.

I told my parents we were having a baby.

I don't know what to do about your parents.

- What is wrong with you?! - If you want me

to have your baby, you have to at least try

to be here with me while I do it.

Every single day, your odds

of beating this thing get less and less.

We cannot waste any more time.

We have to make some choices.

I gotta get back to work.

- No, you don't. - Yes, I do.

How is she? Is everything okay?

Well, I can't do it alone.

Afternoon, Dr. Ullah. Busy day?

They all are.

Helen is too old to have a baby.

I haven't been doing the shots.

Why do you have to be so cruel, Vikram?

- Success? - So heartless.

We cannot waste any more time.

You have to at least try to be here with me while I do it.

- Have your parents said anything? - Dr. Ullah.

Everything okay?

She's just a little girl!

Yeah, uh...

I'm such an idiot.

I forgot, I have a meeting downtown.

Okay.

Drive safely.

How much is that Porsche?

That's the 911 Turbo S Cabriolet.

580 horsepower, zero to 60 in 2.8 seconds,

and a 3.8-liter engine with very little turbo lag.

So, how much?

205 K.

You take American Express?

Do you want to take it for a test drive, sir?

Nah.

Whew.

I just like it.

Vik?

What are you doing?

Hey, Sierra.

Actually, I don't know if you've noticed this,

but, uh, most Fridays, I end up moving your trash cans

back up into your driveway because you somehow

don't get around to doing it before I...

Oh, my God. Is that your car?

Yeah. I just got it.

You know, if you ever want to see

what it can really do, I know the best road in Malibu.

How about now?

Mmm.

Apparently, this road is haunted.

No way.

Yeah.

The Indians considered it forbidden ground.

They wouldn't set foot here.

And then, during the Great Depression, there were

these cultists who lived here,

and they were known for wearing black robes and hoods,

and they would tie young boys to crosses

and beat them to death.

That's all?

And then, years later,

there was an insane asylum, like, right here.

- Come on. - It's true.

I have a question for you.

Okay.

I need the advice of a grown man.

Shoot.

Okay, so...

I've been hooking up with this guy.

It's casual.

He's my age.

He's good-looking enough.

He's a model, actually.

But he's so immature.

And he sucks in bed.

I mean, his dick doesn't even get completely hard,

and then he just finishes so quickly,

I don't even get a chance to come.

And I love to come.

So you want me to recommend a urologist?

I just want to know what's wrong with guys my age.

I mean, how... how old were you when you learned how to fuck?

I mean, like...

like, really fuck.

I have an idea.

Let's see how fast this car can really go.

I want to get home, and I want to drink.

You want to drink?

What seems to be the problem, Officer?

House burning down?

Friend here in labor?

No, Officer.

Okay, then you want to explain

what the fuck was going on back there?

Yeah, we were just having a good time.

Got a little out of control.

Okay, well, your good time almost got you killed today.

Oh, you think that's funny.

No. No, it's just, um...

I have stage four cancer, so I'll be dead soon anyway.

That's not the first time I've heard that, buddy.

So write me a ticket, then.

Okay.

Uh, sorry about the mess.

I live with kids.

This is pristine.

Is it your birthday?

Uh, yeah, a couple days ago.

- Well, happy birthday. - Yeah.

Twenty-nine, no kids, not married, no career.

Just... really killing it.

Looks like you had a party.

Uh, no.

This is all from my mom.

She's on a shoot in Zanzibar.

Further away she gets, the more shit she sends.

At least it's nice shit.

Uh, that... that is swag, actually.

"From your friends at Sony.

Happy wrap."

So, how long have you known you're sick?

A few weeks.

What kind of cancer?

Pancreatic.

That's a bad one, isn't it?

You want to sit down?

You, um... you look good.

Don't people who have cancer

usually lose their hair from the chemo?

I'm not getting chemo.

Why not?

It's not going to work.

And it'll make the time I have left a total nightmare.

Drink.

I'm gonna open another bottle.

Where are you from, Vik?

I'm from here.

My dad's from Lebanon,

and my mom's from Mumbai.

Do they know?

I'm not sure.

What do you mean?

I told them,

but...

they won't hear that I'm sick.

Like, literally.

They seem unable to process it.

And today, I heard myself

promising them that Helen was going to have my baby.

Really?

For them.

Not for me.

Not for her.

For them.

So I don't fail them completely.

You know, I think...

I think, when you have immigrant parents,

you end up being responsible for them.

Like, you're the parent.

Yeah, I know that feeling.

I was the perfect immigrant son.

But I made a deal with myself...

long time ago.

I said, okay, I will become a doctor

because that's what they want.

And I will support them,

and I will make them proud.

I'll even move back to L.A.

so I can take care of them when they're old,

but I will not marry for them.

And I will not have children for them.

I will do all that stuff on my time.

Not theirs.

And then I met this woman.

And she already had kids, and...

I think there was a part of me that...

liked that, you know?

Because I knew it was gonna drive them fucking crazy.

Everything...

Everything I've done

has either been for

or in reaction to them.

I'm 45 years old.

I'm at the top of my profession.

I'm going to die.

And I haven't really made a single choice for myself.

Guess what my mother's favorite thing about me is.

What?

My skin.

Your skin?

Yeah, my skin.

She's obsessed with it.

Whenever I see her, she's always

touching it or pinching it.

She will never forgive me for being younger than she is.

Hey.

Help you?

Yeah, maybe.

I mean, it's probably a lost cause,

but I'm trying to figure out who made this board,

and I think it came from around here in Morro Bay.

Oh.

- You mind? - Nope. Go ahead.

Wow.

It's beautiful.

Thank you. It's my father's.

Hey, Joe.

You come take a look at this?

- Hey. I'm Cole. - Joey.

Nice to meet you, Joey.

Let me see this.

Well, this is original, huh?

We see a, uh, lot of wooden kit boards,

but not many like this.

You, uh... you selling?

No, no. Just trying to figure out who made it.

From around here?

Well, could be anybody.

Definitely 1970s, though.

You got the classic nose and the swallow tail,

a single fin, uh...

heavy varnish.

Not too many surf shops back then.

Just a bunch of individual shapers

working out of garages, but...

whoever made it had a good touch.

I recognize this.

It's not from a surf shop, though. It's a, um...

this art gallery a couple blocks over.

- Well, good luck. - Thank you.

Let me know what you come up with.

Will do.

Hello. Can I help you?

Gabriel.

Excuse me?

I'm... I'm so sorry.

You just...

You just look so much like someone I used to know.

Gabriel Lockhart.

Yes.

I'm sorry. I...

I'm his son.

My name is Cole.

Well...

this is unexpected.

Nice to meet you, Cole.

Uh, I'm Nan.

- Is this your gallery? - It is.

Maybe you can help me with something.

This is my father's board,

and it has the same symbol on it.

Oh, my God.

May I?

Sure.

Look at this.

Does it still float?

Perfectly.

I had no idea what I was doing.

I was so young.

You made this board?

I did.

You're a shaper?

Not exactly.

This was the only surfboard I ever carved.

So...

what brings you to Morro Bay, Cole?

I'm not sure exactly.

From...?

- Montauk. - Montauk.

Amazing.

Hi there.

Uh, I'll just be a sec.

Um, how long are you in town?

I don't know, really.

I mean, I just got here, so...

Why don't you come by tonight?

I host a weekly salon.

If you're anything

like your father,

I think you'd like it.

Sure.

I'm so glad you found me, Cole.

Thank you.

I'm sorry.

This piece over here is the one you had your eye on?

If these pellets are just compressed protein,

why deplete the ocean for them?

Now, as an entrepreneur, John...

This is over my head.

No, it is not.

Sit up and listen.

Oh, look. There he is.

Everyone, here stands a gift from the past.

The son of a man I used to know.

You know, they say

time moves in a straight line,

but really, it moves in circles.

I'm so glad you made it.

Thanks for the invite.

Yep. Oh, thank you.

Very nice.

Nice place you got here.

It absorbs people.

That's what I love about it.

That's my prot�g�e, Delphine.

Isn't she beautiful?

I'm married.

So, being married prevents you

from forming an opinion about a beautiful woman?

No, not at all.

Here.

Whoa. Hey, what are you doing?

It's okay.

Poor guy. You're all bound up.

Take a breath.

A deep one.

Go ahead. It's not gonna kill you.

And let it out slowly.

Better?

What was your relationship to my father?

We were lovers.

For how long?

Oh, a few months.

It was the late '70s.

Everyone loved someone.

That summer, I loved your father.

And then?

Nothing.

He went home.

I met someone else. Life moved on.

What about the surfboard?

You know what Freud said.

Sometimes a cigar is just a cigar.

Delphine.

This is Cole.

Cole, this is Delphine.

Hi, Cole.

Hi.

Want some?

Sure.

Oh, shit.

So...

So?

You want to tell me about it?

Tell you about what?

No one drives all the way across the country

just to see about a surfboard.

What's going on in your marriage?

Luisa and I are working through some things.

Your father was also

going through a hard time in his marriage

when he got here.

How long was he here for?

Not long.

Four or five months.

And the two of you were together?

For a while, yes.

I never really thought he got out of Montauk much.

Oh, no, he traveled quite a bit.

I think.

Or he wanted to.

I can't remember. I just remember a...

great, big, adventurous soul.

I wouldn't describe him as adventurous.

Okay.

How would you describe him?

Drunk.

Abusive.

Emotionally absent.

Chronically depressed.

Wow.

Doesn't sound like the Gabriel I knew at all.

How is your mother?

Cherry is fine.

Cherry's good, actually.

Are they still together?

No, he's dead, Nan.

What?

He's dead.

I'm sorry. I figured you would've known that.

When?

Years ago.

I was a little boy.

Oh, my God.

Wow, Gabriel.

I...

I need some air, love. Um...

when you're ready to go to bed,

Delphine will show you to your room.

You an artist, too?

I paint.

Where you from?

Idaho.

Idaho?

Oh, man.

How long you been out here?

I met Nan at a trade show

maybe... five years ago?

And followed her to California to study.

She lets me stay for free as long as I help out a bit.

It gets bright in here in the mornings.

Let the shower run for a minute.

It takes a little while for it to get hot.

Okay. Thank you.

What are you doing?

I come with the room.

What kind of game are you playing here?

I'm married.

Okay.

Look, I don't know who you are,

and I don't know what this place is,

but I came here to find out why my father came to California,

- not to cheat on my wife. - Okay, then don't.

Well, I'm trying not to, but it's a little difficult

when you got a half-naked woman in your bed.

Ask her to leave.

I'm sure she was just trying to help.

You seem wound so tight, Cole.

To help?

I don't need that kind of help.

I can't believe I have to even explain this to you.

Maybe I shouldn't be surprised, though.

I mean, you slept with my father when he was married,

so clearly marriage isn't that much of a problem to you.

Actually, your father's marriage was my biggest problem.

What is that supposed to mean?

What is this? A love letter?

Yes.

I have a whole box of them.

When did he write all those?

We wrote to each other on and off

after he left Morro Bay.

For how long?

About ten years.

I thought you said it was a brief affair.

I lied.

I can't believe he's dead.

There was a time I thought he was my be'shert.

Do you know what that word means?

It means soul mate.

My destiny.

Look.

You see?

"N"...

"G."

That surfboard was his favorite thing.

We met down at the beach.

I'd seen him around town before, but...

he was such a loner.

He always kept to himself.

I asked him if I could take pictures of him.

He was...

so handsome, so...

striking.

After that first night, we were never apart

for four months.

He called me "Wild Eyes."

He said he didn't know women like me existed in the world.

I'll show you.

"You asked me what I want

from you, my love.

My answer is simple.

First, your mind.

Then your body.

Then your soul."

So, why'd he leave?

Cherry was pregnant.

She wrote that if he didn't come home,

she would kill herself.

What?

So he left.

And then what? He just stopped writing?

No, but his letters

became more sad, bitter.

They kept having more kids, he felt trapped,

and the thought of me was just making him miserable.

So I devised a plan,

a way to extract me from his heart and his head.

To forget me once and for all.

An exorcism of sorts.

Did it work?

It did.

How do you know that?

Because the last task,

the final instruction, if he finally knew

he was no longer in love with me,

was to send my letters back.

All of them.

And here they are.

I'm sorry, Nan.

Don't be, sweetheart.

We wanted different things.

I have no regrets.

Don't worry.

Neither did he.

You've reached the voice mail of Alison and...

Joanie!

We can't get to the phone right now so...

Fuck.

How did the exorcism work?

I sent your father five final letters,

one at a time.

Each one with a task.

Every time he completed a task,

I sent him another.

Read this.

"Find my scent in nature."

Delphine will help you.

"Task two.

Write down everything you love about me,

and then wrap the words around my scent."

I love that she always calls me on my shit.

I love how smart she is.

I love how she deals with grief head-on.

When our boy died...

I couldn't admit my own grief, so...

I made her carry the burden for the both of us.

I made her feel like she was the weak one.

I made her feel like she was going crazy

so I wouldn't lose my own mind.

"Number three. Build a pyre.

Imbue each stone with something you hate about me.

Add the smell and the things you love.

And then set it all ablaze."

I hate how unforgiving you are.

I hate that you never told me how unhappy you were.

I hate that you ran off with Noah fucking Solloway.

And I hate what shitty taste you have in men.

That you are always picking guys who don't deserve you.

I hate that you gave up on me.

I hate that I can't give up on you.

What do you want?

Before you do this, you need to state your intention.

I want to be free of you.

Didn't work.

I feel worse.

I'm sorry.

It worked on your dad.

I have to go home.

Back to your wife?

Do you want to see the final letter?

Sure.

"Now you've finished all four tasks,

and so the exorcism is complete.

If it worked...

...and you no longer love me,

send me these letters back so I know.

I remain yours... Mind, body and soul.

Nan."

Nan, my dad didn't send these letters to you.

What do you mean?

It's postmarked two years after he died.

I don't understand.

I think my mom found those letters.

And then read them, and then sent them to you,

hoping you'd think they'd come from him.

All this time, I...

I thought he didn't love me anymore.

How did he die?

He hung himself on my tenth birthday.

Couple weeks after you sent that last one.

Cole.

She wants you to take this with you.

Where are you going?

I'm going home.

Back to your wife?

No.

I tried to make it work with my wife.

She is a wonderful woman, and she deserves more

than somebody who's just half there,

and the truth is I'm in love with somebody else.

And I have tried for years to get her out of my mind,

but it just never works, and I don't want

to wake up in ten years and want to kill myself

'cause I was just trying to do the right thing.

So I'm going home.

I'm gonna tell her how I feel.

What?

She's lucky, whoever she is.

Delphine.

I'm sorry about last night.

Don't be. I wanted that.

What are you doing here?

Seriously, you're beautiful, you're smart, you're talented.

You could do whatever you want to do,

be with whoever you want to be with.

You don't have to be Nan's proxy for the rest of your life.

I like being her proxy.

I think Nan's a genius.

Take care of your mind, body and soul.

You, too.

Thanks, Dad.

Sync and corrections by btsix www.addic7ed.com