All language subtitles for Lucifer-Pilot.HDTV.x264-LOL

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Turn the music down, sir.

Hey...

cut the music.

Sorry.

You know why I pulled you over?

Well, obviously you felt the need to

exercise your limited powers, punish
me for ignoring the speed limit.

It's okay, I understand.

It's... I... I like to punish people too.

Or, at least I used to.

License and registration.

Coming right up.

Are you trying to bribe me, sir?

Yes, of course.

Is that not enough?

Well, take more. It's only money.

It's against the law... sir.

You people are funny about
your laws, aren't you?

You break the laws sometimes, don't you?

Sometimes.

Put my siren on and drive really fast...

with no reason at all.

Just 'cause I can.

Right! And why wouldn't you? It's fun!

Feels good to get away
with something, doesn't it?

Yeah.

- Uh...
- It's okay, Officer.

People like to tell me things.

Those deep, dark, naughty, little
desires that are on their minds.

It's a gift.

Must be something about this face.

You're tempted to keep that, aren't you?

Well, what are you waiting
for, permission? Go on, take it.

Buy yourself something
pretty. You deserve it.

If you don't mind, I
really must be on my way.

Oh. Yeah, of course.

- Hey, have a nice evening.
- Yeah.

You too, Officer.

You too.

Transcribed by the Addic7ed Team
- www.addic7ed.com -

Hey, Boss.

Where have you been?

Oh, holed up with a chateau,

copulating with a young woman named Faith.

It's ironic, isn't it?

Thank you, Patrick.

You can go.

You little devil.

What? I dropped something?

Well, I'm sure you did.

- Now, Lucifer. I am a big fan of sex.
- Obviously

But I didn't leave hell to be a bartender.

Shouldn't you be spending
your valuable time

doing something more "significant"?

You're the lord of hell
for crying out loud.

I'm retired, Maze. I've
got nothing but time.

Thank you.

I think you have a visitor.

Oh, Amenadiel,

how's it hanging big guy? Huh?

Your return to the
underworld has been requested.

Oh, right. Okay.

Let me just, uh... check my calendar.

Yeah, here it is. Uh... the "7th of never"

through to the "15th
of ain't gonna happen".

How's that worth to you guys?

Ah, look...

remind Dad that I quit hell
because I'm sick and tired

of playing a part in His play.

I'm gonna warn you against
disrespecting our father, Lucifer.

Yeah, well, our father's
been disrespecting me

since the beginning of time,
so pot-kettle, don't you think?

You... are a mockery of everything divine.

Thank you!

Thank you, but...

lately, I've been doing
a fair amount of thinking.

Now, do you think that I'm the
devil because I'm inherently evil

or just because dear old Dad decided I was?

What exactly do you think happens
when the devil leaves hell?

All of those demons...

all of those tormented
and tortured souls...

where do you think they go?

Don't know.

Don't care. Not my problem, brother.

So consider the position officially open.

And you, my feathered
friend, can go to hell.

Yeah, try it.

You think Father's upset now.

You know...

he will not be merciful for much longer.

Hey, you.

Remember me?

- Wait, you're famous, aren't you?
- Delilah!

- Delilah isn't it?
- I love you, Delilah!

Can I have your autograph?

If I can have a drink.

So, are you gonna tell me
why you really came back?

There's something I need to know.

What's that?

Did I...

sell my soul to the devil?

Well, that would imply the devil's
actually interested in your soul.

Look... all I did...

was introduce you to a few key
people who owed me favors. That's all.

I mean with all the good came
a hell of a lot of bad...

Oh, right. So the devil
made you do it, did he?

The alcohol and the
drugs, the topless selfies.

The choices are on you, my dear.

I mean... Jimmy Barnes?

I can't believe you almost
married that sweaty little imp.

He produced my album,
you introduced me to him.

I suggested you work with
him, not sleep with him.

- Well, I got confused.
- Then you left him at the altar.

Yeah, that was rude of me.

No, actually, I quite enjoyed that bit.

You know, he trapped me in
the bathroom in the Grammys.

Said he wanted to get back together.

Then I hear he's marrying
a supermodel. This weekend.

And I'm jealous.

Oh, God, I'm a mess.

God had nothing to do with your mess.

Look, you didn't sell your soul, Delilah.

You're doing me a favor.

- I'm scared.
- You should be.

Because what I'm about to ask is
gonna be quite difficult for you.

Pull yourself together.

That's it. That's all I'm asking.

You're wasting your talent, your life.

Hmm?

You're only human, darling.

I'm gonna do as you asked.

I'm gonna get it together.

- Promise, Lucifer.
- Look...

it's not about me.

What happens now, that's up to you.

- Okay?
- Yeah.

Come here, you.

Oh, no, no, no. Not yet.

What did you do?

I'm sorry.

Sorry? Why did you end her life?

Why else?

Money.

Money?

Oh, it's times like this I
wish I was still in hell.

All the fun activities
that I've planned for you.

Hey, man, I just pulled the trigger.

_

Would you like to hear what I got so far?

Lieutenant said this is my case.

Yes, Chloe, it's your case.

Don't waste your time.

It's an easy one.

That's our bad guy. Eddy Deacon.

He's a low-level drug dealer.

We found these in his pocket...

and this in Delilah's purse.

So... it's obviously drug related.

She probably owed him a
bunch of money or something.

She's not exactly selling
out stadiums these days.

And... how do you know he's low-level?

Look at his car.

Did you look at his watch?
That thing ain't cheap.

It's probably fake.

There's gonna be a lot of
attention on this one, Chloe.

I wouldn't pick too hard at it.

Not after Palmetto Street.

I asked for this case because
of Palmetto Street, Dan.

So, anyway, any witnesses?

Lucifer Morningstar.

Lucifer Morningstar... is that a...

a stage name or something?

God-given, I'm afraid.

D'you know... you look
familiar. Have we met before?

Yeah, 5 minutes ago. And
I'm asking the questions.

Talk to me about your
relationship with the victim.

Well, she used to work
here. A few years back.

I would occasionally
accompany her while she sang.

Then she became a big star and
someone decided to end her life.

- Did you know the shooter?
- No.

But we did have an interesting
little chat just before he kicked off.

I asked him why he did it.

Hmm. Like to play cop, do ya?

No, I just like to play
in general, Detective.

What about you?

So, you had a conversation
with the dead guy.

Oh, no, he wasn't quite dead. His
soul hadn't crossed the threshold.

I see.

Did he tell you why he did it?

Why money, of course.

You humans, you love your money, don't you?

Yes. Yes, we do.

And, uh, what planet are you from? London?

Yes he also said, "I
just pulled the trigger",

now don't you think that's interesting.

Delilah was shot to death by a drug dealer.

And looks like Delilah herself
kept the guy pretty busy.

You know, it's sad, it's ugly,
but it's not rocket science.

Something probably went south between them,

she gets riddled with bullets and a
nice little act of God takes him out.

You know, it doesn't
work like that, Detective.

It's quite a neatly wrapped little
present for the LAPD, don't you think?

Why don't you tell me something?

How did she end up dying
in a hailstorm of bullets

and you get away without a scratch?

I think that's interesting, don't you?

- The benefits of immortality.
- Immortality?

Mm. Of course. Uh... you
spell that with 1 or 2 "m"s?

I always forget.

What will your corrupt little
organization do about this?

'Scuse me?

Will you find the person
responsible, will they be punished,

will this be a priority for
you? Because it is for me.

You got some balls on you, pal.

Oh, thank you very much, but
they're really quite average.

- Yeah, I bet.
- Now...

Are you sure that we haven't met?

I could swear I've seen
you naked. Have we had sex?

- We're done here.
- Ah, Detective, wait.

Someone out there needs to
be punished. We're not done.

Yeah. Yeah, we are.

If there is anyone here that
would oppose this holy union,

speak now or forever hold your peace.

'Scuse me. Yeah, I have a problem.

Has... has anyone else noticed

how incredibly, jaw-droppingly,

loin-stirringly beautiful
this young woman is

and how short, sweaty and
altogether fugly this homunculus is?

I mean what is this, a
wedding or a kidnapping?

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah. Good luck with that, Padre. Ooh...

while you're at it, say hey
from me, it's been a while.

Jimmy Barnes, remember me?

Hey, man. This is a private
event. How did you get in here?

Yeah and quite a lavish one for
a record producer on the outs?

- You do remember me, don't you?
- Yeah, yeah. I remember you.

Now, what do you want? I'm a little busy.

Well... I can't believe
that you're getting married

the day after your ex-fiancée
and once a bright star

- was murdered in cold blood.
- Yeah, it's very sad.

But you know what? She
ruined my wedding once.

I'm not about to let that happen again.

It's hard to be rejected,
isn't it, Jimmy? Twice. Hm!

- What?
- Only, you tried to get her back recently.

I mean I'd kill someone
if they denied me once...

not that that's possible.

So, come on.

What do you say, Jimbo, huh?

Did you want her dead?

Look, st... stop looking
at me that way, you freak.

I am not playing that
mind game with you. I...

No, of course not.

I was furious and I was
humiliated when she dumped me,

but I think I... I think
I've rebonded pretty well.

Yes, clearly. Respect.

Should go play your
mind games with Too Vile.

The rapper?

Come on. Delilah dumped
me for that lunatic.

They were always fighting.
He slapped her around a bunch.

He surrounded himself with
gun toting morons 24/7.

He is the real deal.

Right.

Sorry. How rude. Allow
me to introduce myself.

Lucifer Morningstar.

I really don't want to
have sex with him tonight.

Oh, my... I'm sorry. I...

- I can't believe I just said that.
- Oh, no, no, no. Let's be honest here.

I mean you're not marrying this human stain

'cause you're actually
in love with him, right?

- Oh, God, no.
- No.

Right. Well, I should get going.

Ooh... best of luck with
you crazy kids. All right.

Good afternoon, sir.

Yes, I'm here to see the man
sadly known as "Too Vile".

- Is he in?
- Sorry, sir, he's unavailable.

- He's in mourning, I'm afraid.
- Right.

I have narcotics for him.

Right this way, sir.

Could someone please turn
down this God-awful music?!

Hello, disc jockey! Thank you.

Who's this clown?

He has narcotics for you, sir.

My name is Lucifer Morningstar.

Lucifer Morningstar?

That's a gay hip-hop name.

Well, that offends me.

- What, y-you don't like hip-hop?
- No, I most certainly do not.

Well, that offends me.

You have a problem with black people?

No, not in the slightest.
I just hate your music.

And when I say your
music, I mean "your" music,

not the music made by other black people.

Without the blues there would
be no devil's music whatsoever.

There are of course many giants in the
field. Just not you. Am I being clear?

Mm-hmm. Yeah, you're
being clear. All right.

- Good.
- If you're looking to get yourself killed.

Yes, but don't waste your
munitions, I'm immortal.

Tell me about Delilah.

You ain't seen the news?

Bitch is dead.

Don't shoot, you idiot!

- I didn't kill her.
- Why should I believe you?

Because I loved the girl.

People sometimes kill the
people with whom they're in love.

The heart's mysterious

- So I'm told.
- I liked her.

- Girl made me crazy.
- Women can do that.

Doesn't mean you should
beat them up, does it?

We worked that out a long time ago.

I hit her once 'cause I found
out she was cheating on me.

Hmm?

Right.

- With whom?
- I don't know, I don't know.

She wouldn't tell me. All right?

Said it was a big secret, some...
some, uh... uh, rich married guy.

Well, did she have a friend
that she might have confided in?

She didn't trust no one, man. Uh... uh...

a therapist. A therapist is
probably the only one who knows.

She sees some, uh... uh, Doctor
Linda in... in Beverly Hills.

Saw her like five times a week on the DL.

Used a fake name, everything.

Oh, did she now?

Well... thank you... for your time.

LAPD. Guns down. On the Floor. Down.

You two, against the wall.

Detective. Welcome to the party.

Grab the bucket, collect the guns. Now!

You sly dog, you did listen to me.

I ran the dead guy's cellphone, Too
Vile was the last person he called.

Come on, man.

And what I find highly interesting is
how you made the connection on your own.

Well, I've been busy, my dear.

- Talk to me about Delilah.
- I've been over that one, Detective.

And why you called the shooter
2 days before she was murdered?

Fine. Yeah, I called Eddy
'cause he hooks me up sometimes.

He met Delilah through me.

Whatever. Don't make me a killer, do it?

No. But it does make you a suspect.

What, so everyone on
Eddy's phone's a suspect?

Are you joking?

You gonna drag half of Hollywood downtown

- be like the Oscars or something.
- Wait.

- Weren't you that chick from that film?
- Hmm? What is this? What film?

She used to be an actress
or something, right?

Yeah.

That teen movie, I forget what it's called.

Of course, "Hot Tub High School".
That's where I know you from.

Let's just stick to my question, shall we?

It's the one with the famous nude
scene, coming out of the hot tub.

It was like a complete Fast Time's rip off.

She was like the new Phoebe Cates.

- Thanks. I appreciate that.
- That was quite a nude scene.

I have far too many bullets in this
thing for you to still be talking.

You, we need to have a
conversation right now.

That's a waste of time, Detective.

I've just threatened his
life. He's not our guy.

He would've said, trust me.

- You did what?
- Yeah, i-isn't that illegal?

Uh... little bit. Yeah.

You, stay put. You, you're coming with me.

What? Ooh.

With pleasure.

At least perhaps now you'll listen to me,

although I'm not quite
sure why I'm being arrested.

'Cause you're interfering
with a police investigation,

you've broken I can't even count
how many laws and you piss me off.

Right. I can get out of these, you know?

Funny.

How did you do that?

Come on, we're wasting time.

We should be out there, solving a
homicide and punishing those responsible.

"We"? You're insane. I'm
taking you in. Get in the car.

No, that's boring, not
to mention pointless.

Come on, I'll help you. It'll be fun.

How could you possibly help me?

I have a certain skill set, I can
be very persuasive with people.

And tend to see things that others cannot.

So... you're a psychic or something?

No, I can't read people's
minds. I'm not Jedi.

People just like to tell me things.

Hmm? Just... just tell you things?

Just confess their sins? Just like that?

No, not their sins. I have
no power over people's sins.

I actually get a bad rap for that.

I have the ability to draw
out people's forbidden desires.

The more simple the
human, the easier it is.

The more complex, the more
challenging and exciting really.

But no, the actual sins, the...
the sins are on you people.

"You people"?

I got it. I got it.

The name, the whole "Lucifer" thing

and desire's like your superpower.

Um... it's more like
a gift from God, really.

Okay.

Look...

tell me, Detective...

what do you desire more than
anything else in this life?

This is it? This is your big trick?

I guess... when I was a little girl, I...

always wanted to be a cop
like my daddy, so that...

that... one day I could
help people, then...

then be taken seriously...

when I say to shut up
and get in the damn car.

You're not like a Jedi
or something, are you?

Get in the car.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. I
know something you don't know.

Really? What's that?

Won't say unless you
take me with you on this.

Please. Come on. I got
you Too Vile, didn't I?

Why do you care about this so much?

About Delilah?

Look, I just...

I just do.

Look, if I hadn't have meddled with her
career, maybe she wouldn't have died.

Okay. Okay, fine.

But if this little clue thing
of yours doesn't pan out,

these are going back on
and they're gonna stay on.

Is that a promise?

Yeah, therapist in Beverly
Hills with the first name, Linda...

- see if Delilah was a client.
- A-a-actually she had a pseudonym,

which I also happen to know. I'm
actually quite good at this aren't I?

Uh, "Penny Lane"

Delilah may have gone
by "Penny Lane". Thanks.

Don't look so smug.
Nothing's panned out yet

No, no, no. It's not that, it's just
that I knew that I recognized you.

Right, right. You've seen my boobies.
It's exciting. What are you, 12?

So, is the, uh, movie why you've
got such a chip on your shoulder?

Uh, it's low on the list of
things I have to live down I guess.

Right. "Attractive female
cop struggling to be

taken seriously in a man's
man's world." Is that it?

Yeah. Something like that.

Well, they're threatened.

You're clearly smart and
have notable instincts.

Ignore them. Trust yourself.

Detective Dancer. Right,
text it to me. Thanks.

What's that?

What you were saying stands up,

there's a Penny Lane who sees a
Dr Linda Martin in Beverly Hills.

Excellent. I'll clear my schedule.

- Ooh! Someone's popular.
- Please stop talking? Hello.

What? You're kidding me. Is she OK?

Oh. Of course he's not there. Thanks.

- We gotta make a pit stop.
- What? No! Absolutely not.

My kid got into a fight.
I've gotta go and pick her up

- What, can't she get herself home?
- She's seven.

Look, I'm not here to help you run errands.
I'm here to help you solve a homicide.

Really?!

All right, wait here.

With pleasure. I despise children.

I don't think you're
allowed to smoke in here.

Oh dear. What will become of me?

My mother is a police
officer. She could arrest you.

Oh. I think I might know your mother.

What's your name?

Lucifer.

Like the devil?

Exactly!

My name's Beatrice but I
everybody calls me Trixie.

That's a hooker's name.

- What's a hooker?
- Ask your mother.

So, why are you in trouble?

See that girl over there?

She was bullying me.

She was creating a fake Snapchat
account and used it to make fun of me.

So, I kicked her in the
"no-no touch-touch swear".

Oh! Oh I see. Well played.

Well played indeed.

Hello mean girl.

Did you know there is a special
section of hell reserved for

bullies so, have fun.

What did you do?

Oh, I just... think someone's
feeling a little guilty

- Hi Daddy.
- Hey there munchkin.

- Oh shocker, you're late.
- Give me a break.

- I was putting a case to bed.
- Right, like I'm not working a case too.

Oh yeah! The one you
tried to steal from me.

You mean the open and shut one?
You did open and shut it. Right?

I'm being diligent, Dan.
It's a high profile case.

Exactly. Which is why you
have to be smart about it.

She is smart. You're the dimwit.

Perhaps you should refrain from arguing
in front of the child? It's unbecoming.

I don't know whether to laugh or shoot you.

Surprise me.

Isn't he funny, Daddy?

Hey! Can you, ah, drop Trix at
my Mum's? We got to go. Thank you.

Trix *** like, give Mommy a kiss.

Mwah! I love you so much!

- Good job standing up to the mean girl.
- Thanks, Mommy.

What's a hooker?

Daddy'll tell you.

Come on, honey.

Bye Lucifer, it was nice meeting you.

Hmph! Think she likes you.

Course she does. What's not to like?

Was your offspring planned or a mistake?

- Planned. Sort of.
- Really?

See, I've never understood
this human desire to procreate

- That's probably a good thing.
- I mean children,

hideous little creatures,

terrible, taxing burdens.

- Hmmm.
- Mmmh.

Oh, um, yours is fine.

I mean n-nothing to crow about, but
nothing to be too embarrassed about either,

so that's quite good isn't it?

Are you at all aware of
how dickish you sound?

No!

Speaking of dicks...

Why was that ex-husband of yours
pressuring you to close the case?

No reason.

- Strange.
- Yes, you are.

Did my father send you?

Okay detectives, I'll see you now.

- Thank you.
- Detectives.

Dr Martin, I'd like to ask you
a few questions about Delilah.

You're thinking about it aren't you?

- What?
- I wouldn't recommend it.

I'm like walking heroin, very
habit forming. It never ends well.

I'm sorry, do you two know each other?

- No, no, but I know that look.
- I don't know what you're talking about.

Actually it's interesting 'cause
you don't look at me that way.

- What way?
- With carnal fascination.

- That's cause it doesn't exist
- No, see that's just it,

with most women it does.

I tend to appeal to the dark
mischievous hearts in all of you but...

You detective, you seem
oddly immune to my charms

Referring to them as charms,
I think, is a bit of a stretch.

Truth be told I find you repulsive.

- Like, on a chemical level.
- It's fascinating.

- Now, tell me Linda...
- You say, it's fascinating,

and yet I can see that it
disturbs you, doesn't it? Deeply.

Dr Martin, we know know that, um,
Delilah was having a clandestine

affair with a wealthy married man,
so if you just tell us his name,

- we will be on our way.
- I'm sorry. I can't do that.

Oh, she's one of the complex ones.

Linda, darling. Why don't you tell me? Hm?

- Well, I can't.
- Ah, hm.

I want to, but I can't.

- Oh, you're the devil!
- Hmm, correct!

Now, come on Dr Martin. I know you want to!

Oh, man and it's really, really juicy too.

- Ooooh, I bet it is!
- I can't!

What did you do to her?

- Did you roofie her?
- Oh no, it's not her fault, she's just

- reacting to me, just watch and learn OK?
- Oh.

Right, the answer is yes. We can
take a trip to Pound town if we must,

but first you're going to
have to tell us Linda. Okay?

Uhhmmm...

Okay! Ha ha!

It's Greg Cooper.

Greg Cooper? Seriously?

- That is juicy.
- Greg Cooper, the actor? The one who's

- married to Amanda whats her chops?
- Yeah!

- Yeah!
- Oh! No, he's horrible. So squared-jawed,

so handsome, so vanilla!

Oh, I'm really quite disappointed in
Delilah, that's truly terrible taste

in the opposite sex.

Thank you very much Dr Martin. We'll
be in touch. All right, we've gotta go.

Yes, of course but I... I made a deal so
I have to hold up my end of the bargain.

You wouldn't mind waiting outside?

Are you seriously talking about
having sex with her, right now?

- Well it won't take long.
- I do yoga.

Hot... yoga.

I'm freakishly flexible.

Wanna see?

Wow!

Really tried to keep that one in...

Well you tried and that's what matters.

Ah! Look, I'm really sorry

but I'm going to have to take a
rain check. I will be back. Okay?

I certainly hope so.

My word is my bond.

'Scuse me. Excuse me.

Ah, excuse me. Thank you.

Hey, hey, sir!

Who the... is this guy?

What the hell are you doing?

Excuse me. Excuse me. Sorry! Excuse me.

Sorry, he's with me.

That's not Greg Cooper?

No, of course not! What the hell is this?

We need to speak with Mr Cooper.

God, Delilah yeah.

Heard about that this
morning. I can't believe it.

We did a movie together last year.

- Got pretty close.
- Lovers?

- Friends.
- Friends who were lovers?

Settle down, I'll handle the questions.

Mr Cooper, when did you last
have contact with Delilah?

Well, actually I just one more question
before you proceed with the boring ones.

Tell me, Mr Cooper what do you want
more than anything in this world?

What's your deepest darkest desire?

If you close your eyes, what do you see?

I'm the President of the
United States of America.

Ha!

Well, who's the devil now, eh?

Those are some pretty big
aspirations there Mr Cooper.

Well after the acting and stuff.

No need to be embarrassed.
Hell, if Arnold can do it right?

Now, you wouldn't want any nasty secrets
screwing it up for you though would you?

- Is there a point to this?
- Mr Cooper, are you having an affair

- with Delilah?
- Honey?

Have you been getting my texts?

I thought they were breaking
for lunch like a half hour ago?

What's going on?

- These people are detectives.
- Real ones?

We have some questions about Delilah.

- Oh, Oh! Yes. So sad.
- Yeah, very sad.

Your watch. Where did you get that?

Oh, it's a prop.

No, that's the one
Delilah gave you. Isn't it?

For "Time Will Tell"?

Right. That's the movie that we did.

It was a wrap gift.

Yeah. She buy a ten thousand
dollar watch for the whole crew?

Ah, no... just me.

As far as I know.

'Cause we were, you know,
co-stars and everything.

You know you're going to have to get much
better at lying, if you wanna be president.

I know, right.

So you were sleeping with her then, yeah?

Oh, yeah!

Crap, I just said that in front of people.

Whatever, it's not like I didn't know.

Oh God, you are a terrible
liar, and actor by the way.

- You knew?
- Course.

Why else do you think I've
been sleeping with Bobby?

- Are you serious?
- Oh yeah... and it is good.

Mm! I climb that man, like a tree!

Right, Bobby?

My bodyguard?

- What a cliché!
- Oh, I'm a cliché?

Well, you're a dick!

Hey guys...

Come on!

Hey guys... arrest them.

Seriously?

Oh, don't do it.

One of them's gotta be guilty.

Thanks.

So...

Greg and Amanda have zero
connection to the shooter...

but the shooter had the same watch
as Greg, that can't be a coincidence.

Maybe Delilah gave him one too?

Like kind of a go-to gift, I...

Well that would imply she was
actually sleeping with that maggot.

Really?

Jimmy,

Too Vile, Greg Cooper.

That's three other maggots
she's sleeping with.

I don't think there's a whole lot
of discretion going on with her.

Yeah, s'pose you've got a point.

God, what am I doing here?

Wrong deity, but yes that
is the eternal question.

No, I mean, here in a bar, with you.

Well, I don't know. You tell me detective.

I mean, despite your proclaimed revulsion,

you can't deny that there's
a connection between us.

Tell me, what do you actually want?

You mean, what do I desire more
than anything else in this life?

- Yes. No tricks,
- Mm-hm.

not that they work on you, you freak.

Seriously... nup, I'm curious.

I don't know, what... what
I told you's true... I...

I really do want to help people.

My father was cop. He was a great cop.

My mother was an actress...

really cheesy one.

I tried the acting thing,
I took off my top...

wasn't really contributing to
the betterment of society...

Oh I disagree, I love that movie.

So I quit.

Decided to be come a cop,
like my dad. And, ah...

dealt with the whole "Hot
Tub High School" thing,

until, um, I became a detective and
found a whole new way to ostracize myself.

Ah, the reason your ex-maggot
was pressuring you to close this?

Yeah...

yeah exactly.

There was a case...

a shooting on Palmetto
Street, where a cop died.

And I saw it differently than pretty
much everyone in my department,

including my ex.

And I stuck my neck out...

and it backfired.

And, ah...

now, no one wants to work with me.

Well, I'm available.

Too bad your little protege
isn't around to collect the check.

The soundtrack album for the
movie "Time Will Tell" has reached

number 15 on the Billboard
Charts, and is still climbing.

- Song and record sales have...
- Oh, wow.

What?

Delilah didn't give that
watch to the drug dealer...

Stop, stop... stop!

What is it? You got a gerbil in
your throat? What's going on here?

Hello, Jimmy!

- Really...
- How's the album sales doing?

- What album?
- Soundtrack to "Time Will Tell"...

which you produced.

Whitney Houston hit the top 10
for album sales after her death...

Michael Jackson hit the stratosphere...

not sure you'll achieve such
heights having Delilah killed,

but that sure is a boatload of
royalty checks headed your way.

Guess you really needed the cash, huh?

Which is why you had to pay
the shooter with your watch.

The watch Delilah gave you... now
that's just sick, but then you are, so...

- Hey Jimmy...
- I made her,

and she ruined me. She humiliated me.

- She owes me!
- You're not God, Jimmy.

You didn't make her...

but you did destroy her.

So, I'm going to punish you.

You back off, you freak. I mean it.

I am not going to jail
for that bitch, no chance!

- Listen to him Lucifer, back off!
- I told you it's fine, I'm immortal.

Well, why did you do that?!

- He was going to kill you.
- No, no, no, no, no, no.

You just... you just let him off too easy.

He needs to pay, he needs to
suffer. He needs feel the pain,

not escape it!

Don't worry. I'm sure where
he's going, the pain's coming.

No. No, it's not
actually, and you know why?

Because I'm here and he's...

No.

I don't want to die.

I won't let you.

Father will just have wait for you.

Argh!

Ooh!

St... give me one second...

No! Please! No, no, please!

Please... please don't kill me.

Ha, ha, Jimmy...

oh, you are going to wish
that's all I did to you.

Argh!

Well... look who's back.

How long have I been out?

Three years.

What?!

- You're such an ass. Oh, God.
- Thank you.

He was firing at you...

why aren't you...

more dead?

You're having a very hard time
with the immortal thing, aren't you?

What happened with Jimmy?

Jimmy...

Jimmy got what he deserved.

Well... I'm pretty sure I'd be dead
if you hadn't have helped me. So...

thank you.

Sorry, what was that? That last
bit, I didn't quite get that...

Thank you.

You're welcome.

Besides, you know...

you were far too interesting to let die.

You saved my life because I'm interesting?

Well, wildly irritating as well, but yes.

So, what now?

Well, I mean, I've obviously proven myself
to be an invaluable crime fighting tool...

you're a pariah in the
department... I think this could

be the start of a beautiful
friendship, don't you?

Who the hell are you?

I told you, I'm...

Lucifer!

Yes... hello child.

Um... ju... why don't you save some of
this unpleasantness for your mother, yeah?

- Aw... awwwwww.
- Ooh! Sorry.

I think she's one hell of a
homicide detective, don't you?

- What?
- Are you hurt?

I'm okay.

How you doing?

Okay...

You need to be more careful.

You should've had backup.

She had backup.

It's hard for you, isn't
it? Not to be a douche.

Right, well, I'd stay for the family
reunion, but it's giving me terrible IBS...

so... look forward to
seeing you soon Chloe.

- I don't.
- Bye now.

Glad you're not dead.

Oh! Bloody hell!

What do you want from me?

I've been watching you Lucifer...

- You perv!
- and I'm not sure I like what I see.

You're showing restraint, mercy...

You scared I'm turning my
back on the dark side, bro?

Lucifer, there is a balance
here that we must maintain...

I strongly suggest you do what I
told you to do, and go back to hell.

Don't threaten me Amenadiel.

I mean, you don't want to start a war.

I would love a war.

Oh, Lucy!

My hatred for you grows
stronger with every visit.

Well, I wouldn't have it any other way pal.

I look forward to eating
your heart one day...

peace!

Ergh!

I sense your disapproval, Maze. What is it?

I just can't understand why
you would save a human life.

There's something different about
her that I don't quite understand,

and it vexes me.

Maybe it's not her that's different.

Is this where I'm supposed
to ask "whatever do you mean?"

Stop caring.

You're the devil.

Yes, I am.

Okay, right... here's the deal...

we can have as much naked cuddle
time as you desire... but...

you're going to have to listen to me too.

There's a few things that
I'd like to discuss with you.

You know, just a... an
existential dilemma or two.

- Deal?
- Yes!

Lovely.

_

Transcribed by the Addic7ed Team
- www.addic7ed.com -

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