Original subtitles

[emcee] Ladies and gentlemen,

you ready to see some burlesque?

[audience cheers]

Ladies and gentlemen, are you ready to see this girl?

Come on, let me hear it!

[audience cheers]

Give it up for Gal Friday!

[sultry music plays]

[man] ♪ I went down

♪ To Saint James infirmary

♪ See my baby there

♪ She was stretched out On a long white table ♪

♪ And she was Just lying on there ♪

[Gal Friday] I am from Tennessee.

For a lot of Southern families,

it's really big that girls get married or have a family.

That's not my lifestyle.

[audience cheers]

[song ends]

[emcee] Let's hear it for Gal Friday!

[cheers and applause]

[Julie Atlas Muz] Everyone can do it.

Everyone can perform burlesque if they really want to.

You need to get a costume, you need to get a gimmick,

and you need to get up onstage and have the balls to do it.

[cheers and applause]

I was asked, I believe, in 1996 or 1997,

by Catherine Hourihan,

she said, "Will you do a burlesque number for me?"

And I had no idea what it was.

She said, "It's a short dance

that either begins or ends naked to music."

You know, at that time you could fit

all of the burlesque performers in New York City in two cabs.

I remember when it was still just like me,

Scotty the Blue Bunny, Dirty Martini,

Velocity Chyaldd, Tigger,

and World Famous Bob, and just like a handful

of the first wave of what we considered to be

the initial waves of the burlesque revival movement in New York City.

Experimental artists that were just absolutely whack-a-doodle

and inspiring and think outside any concept of any shape.

Think outside the triangle.

When I started doing burlesque,

nobody knew what the word "burlesque" was.

I didn't even care what the word "burlesque" meant.

But then it sort of like snowballed.

You know, there's that second wave

Then there's the third wave. Then there's the fourth wave.

And then Christina Aguilera and Cher.

And then there's the seventh wave.

Burlesque is an evolving term,

which includes an aesthetic of sparkles and eyelashes

and high heels and fancy dresses and nudity.

And femininity.

And comedy.

It's also now becoming more and more a lifestyle.

But burlesque has always been, and I believe will always be,

the lowest of the low entertainment.

Because, really, who are we?

Just some stripper from New York City.

[laughs]

I always knew I wanted to live here.

Even when I was young and had no concept

of what it really meant.

I felt really weird where I was from.

I don't know, it just never felt like

the right fit back there.

My mother always said I was an old woman born in a tiny body.

And from the very beginning, a smartass who talked too much,

and just a little too wise

for such a small person.

And she has great stories of where I would,

even as a 7-year-old,

just be breaking the balls of all of her friends.

And she said, you would make them feel bad about themselves.

My mother was a construction worker.

Sometimes for fun she would take me on site with her,

and I always liked that time with her.

Now she is a motorcycle mechanic.

My father is a contractor and does like electric work

and stuff like that, but I did not grow up with him.

He left when I was a baby.

But we've always had a good, friendly relationship.

He knows what I do. He doesn't care.

When you're in a family where your mom is a biker,

a Harley mechanic, and an all-around tough broad

who does her own thing as well it's like,

what are they going to say?

I have been a professional burlesque performer

for about six years.

I've got it good.

I live in New York and I'm able

to maybe sometimes barely scrape by,

but I'm still able to support myself.

[emcee 1] Gal Friday!

[emcee 2] Gal Friday!

It's Gal Friday!

[audience cheers]

[Julie] There have been months where I struggled to make my rent.

But, you know, that's the life of a classic stripper.

-[indistinct chatter] -[techno music throbbing]

[applause]

[Jonny Porkpie] Minnie Tonka and Darlinda Just Darlinda,

10 years ago

did a number that you are going to see in just a couple minutes.

That's right, they're going to be performing

their very first number from 2004 for us tonight,

which I think is incredible.

[cheers and applause]

So, ladies and gentlemen, please join me

in welcoming to the stage, the Schlep Sisters.

[cheers and applause]

[harmonizing]

[singing in Yiddish]

[Darlinda] In Yiddish, "schlep" is like,

oh, you're kind of a sloppy person,

or like, you know, oh, you got to schlep that big bag.

So it's like, it's a funny word.

And it doesn't necessarily have like a sexy connotation.

♪ Turn left, turn right Hold tight ♪

♪ Lift your feet Heart will follow ♪

♪ Lift your voice Fill the hollow ♪

♪ Spread your wings Like the swallow ♪

♪ Spread your wings like The swallow ♪

♪ Fly away Greet the day ♪

♪ Dance, dance Everybody dance ♪

[Darlinda] Our Hava Nagila act was our first act ever.

We came out in granny panties.

We had these suitcases just full of random clothes.

And then we just put them on.

We did a reverse strip, because I didn't want to strip.

I was intimidated, yeah.

At the time, that's when, like, kind of gay marriage

was starting to get into the news, and we were like, oh...

-As we developed that act. -As we developed that act, yeah.

And we were like oh, well, Hava Nagila is a wedding song,

so why don't we be two brides?

[audience cheers]

[interviewer] How does the Schlep Sisters' style

differ from your individual styles and routines?

I mean, I tend to do, like, really weird things.

Pull things out of my pussy, and...

[crowd cheering]

You know, it's like things like that are, like,

the Schlep Sisters would never do, you know?

-[laughs] -And I would never do.

And, yeah, she would never do, yeah, yeah.

[Minnie] Before I got into burlesque,

I was really on this very deep Jewish journey.

I got my master's in Jewish Education.

In graduate school I felt very, very out of place.

It was very stifling and conservative for me.

I didn't kind of fit the typical mold

of someone who would go to a Jewish theological seminary.

Please welcome to the stage,

from New York City, Minnie Tonka!

[audience cheers]

[rock music plays]

So, I was really, really excited and intrigued to try burlesque.

[audience cheers]

But I was very, very scared

to do the strip tease alone on stage.

And Darlinda was always really pushing me to, you know,

be more naked and be more naked.

♪ Shut your mouth

♪ Shut your mouth

♪ Shut your mouth

[Minnie] I think about that sometimes,

when I think about how I just fully didn't get it, in a way.

You know, it took me years to fully get

and understand burlesque.

Or maybe an animal that you like?

Or that you're curious about.

The past few years I've started to teach burlesque.

[women laugh]

If you were a snake, for example,

you want to, like, slither your way to get to that sun.

Or you-- you see a rat that you want to eat.

I wanted to create a class to give people the space

to explore what burlesque means to them.

What are some reasons for doing burlesque?

If you're exposed to different body types, you will find--

you will find your mindset changing,

and you'll start thinking, like,

wow, this type of body that I never see is actually beautiful,

because you're just being exposed to it more and more.

Burlesque is an opportunity to be a statement, an assertion.

I am enough, I am okay, I am going to share it.

If you don't want it, that's fine, but here it is.

-[woman] Yeah. -[laughter]

Here it is.

[woman] Yeah.

The fact that we have a sexuality

and we can display this without shame.

And, you know, display, like, whatever kind of freak

you've got inside.

[all laugh]

[Minnie] I don't know if there was a specific moment

that told me this is what I'm going to be doing.

Just lots of little steps.

[Hazel Honeysuckle] This is from the time that I took my grandma's scarves

out of her drawer and tied them around me into a costume.

[laughs]

But I know that I had these, like,

just kind of secret dreams.

I would go up to my room and play dress-up and, like,

pretend I was a princess.

Like, way later than... than I should admit.

I've had issues with social anxiety.

I guess I got boobs early, and a little bit of teasing.

I felt that if I showed cleavage I was slutty.

[ambulance siren wailing distantly]

My first performance, I was intensely nervous.

I remember being in the dressing room

with all these other performers.

The dressing room at the Slipper Room

was covered in glittery graffiti.

All these performers' names who I had seen.

And being back there

where all these other performers had been...

was intimidating and exciting.

But I remember kind of the moment I stepped on stage...

[emcee] Hazel Honeysuckle...

...and heard applause and saw the audience...

it was kind of like a homecoming.

[crowd cheering]

[applause]

You know, I've been present for a lot of conversations

that go something like this:

"Oh, she gets hired because she flirts."

"She gets hired because she's real pretty,

but she can't dance," you know.

Telling me that I'm not really that good.

-Hi, Minnie. Sorry. -Hi, it's okay.

-Hi, Hazel. -Hi-- ooh.

[emcee] How are you? Thanks for coming.

[woman] We're both wearing white G-strings.

Yes. Yes.

[emcee] I see.

Bean bag masturbation. What is that?

Ladies and gentlemen,

get yourselves ready for the Wiggle Room.

[Hazel] I don't doubt that if I had a different body,

there's a very good chance I would not have gotten

a lot of the work, or the same amount of work

that I have gotten.

That's left me with something to prove.

[emcee] Here she is now, the lovely,

the talented, my ex-wife, Hazel Honeysuckle!

[woman] ♪ Honey dear, want you near

♪ Just turn out the lights And then come over here ♪

♪ Nestle close up to my side

[Hazel] I don't want to be a success

based on just being pretty.

I want to be worth it as an artist.

[woman] ♪ I never knew that life could Ever be so sweet ♪

♪ Till I met you

♪ Some time ago

♪ But now you know

♪ I love you so

[song ends]

Hazel Honeysuckle, everybody!

[Gal Friday] I have a massive shoe collection.

So we have all manner of Lucite,

boots, thigh-highs, lesser used stripper heels.

And my Golden Pasty Award for Best Booty.

This is going to be an issue.

All various shades of red

falls for all of my different redhead moments.

When I first started performing,

I remember thinking that I would have to

kind of change my personality for this character.

That I would be much quieter and more ladylike

with that look of that classic pin-up.

That shit just flew out the window so fast.

Your real personality is just going to eventually come out.

And my real personality is pretty tomboy-ish.

And, you know, sarcastic

and sometimes a little bit aggressive.

So, you know, you can try to hold those things down,

but eventually they come out anyway.

And I found that it actually,

I think, makes my performance better.

You know, there's only so many dance moves you can do.

I tend to do mostly classic burlesque, I would say.

A lot of bumps and grinds,

and a lot of booty moves and ass-shaking.

Certain venues or, you know, producers have expectations.

They'll even tell you, you know,

this is more of a classic show.

Please bring classic numbers.

But I want to have my flavor in it too.

[audience cheers]

I don't want to just go out there and be like,

"I'm a princess."

Because I'm really not.

[laughs] I can't even fake it.

[emcee] Yeah!

[indistinct chattering]

Here we go, let's try it again.

That's good. Try one more again.

[Gal Friday] To some people maybe I am a one-trick pony.

I mean, there might be people out there

who automatically assume she only does classic.

You don't want to get in that rut where it's like,

that is what Gal Friday does.

[police siren blaring]

I want to perform something out of my comfort zone.

I just want to do something different.

And I know it seems silly,

but I'm a little bit afraid to fail,

and I don't like that.

[emcee] Ladies and gentlemen,

welcome to the Slipper Room show, Glitter Gutter.

Now please welcome your host for the evening,

a man flying on an altitude of talent

beyond human imagining,

Mr. Mel Frye.

[upbeat music plays]

Yeah!

How we doin'? How we doin'? How are you?

And the rest of you, how are you guys doing?

I went to the doctor today.

Comes in with this little clipboard and he says,

"Mel, you have to stop masturbating."

I said, "Why, doc? Why do I have to stop masturbating?

I mean, that's ridiculous."

And he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

[laughter]

It's the Glitter Gutter, ladies and gentlemen.

It's the Glitter Gutter.

[James Habacker] When I first opened the Slipper Room downtown,

it was very much an artistic center.

You know, a lot of small experimental theaters

run by people who were interested in art,

and supporting the arts.

They're all gone now.

We're the last of the theaters

on the Lower East Side.

I think that New York is much more money-oriented

than it is arts-oriented.

One of the things, I think, that makes the Slipper Room

kind of unique is that it is run by people

who are in it as an art project first and foremost.

One of the things that really cemented it

as the Slipper Room style

was that you have a host who's a comedian

who's playing a character,

you know who's doing like an old-style variety show,

like the kind of thing you might have seen,

you know, on 1950s television.

[man] Yeah!

-[balloon pops] -[woman screams]

We book variety shows,

and I consider the burlesque side of it

to be strip tease.

And not just any strip tease.

There's a distinction between the stripper

and the burlesque dancer.

Burlesque itself as an art form is, you know,

hundreds of years older than strip tease.

And it's political parody.

It's holding a mirror up to our society and saying,

look how ridiculous this is.

It forces people to think about how repressed their lives are.

We get a lot of really square people come in here,

and they see these people who are on stage

who are completely free.

And it's in a direct line from you know, Warhol's Factory.

Like what, you know, came out of New York in the '60s.

There are still a fair amount of people who come to New York

because they're attracted to that.

'Cause they know about that.

And if they find us, then they have a home.

[audience cheers]

[women] Four, five, six, seven, eight.

[Minnie] Every year, Darlinda and I

create a new act.

And this year we debut our act Schlep-A-Con.

As we're working on it, we're evolving.

Every few months we had friends come in

and help us just tighten it up even more.

And, of course, our costumes are from Garo Sparo.

Whoo!

-[laughs] -I think it's funny.

I mean, people like camel toe.

[Minnie] The costumes are so showbiz.

And, hot damn, it's major camel toe.

-It's-- I mean-- -The most camel toe ever.

-[Minnie] It's-- -[Darlinda] More camel toe

than any other Schlep act.

[Minnie] We applied to

the Burlesque Hall of Fame this year,

for Best Small Group.

[applause]

[Darlinda] They call the Burlesque Hall of Fame the Oscars of burlesque.

The pageant is valuable,

because people from all over the world come,

and then they want to

book you because they've seen your act.

It's like a showcase

of stuff from all over the world.

The first time I went to the Burlesque Hall of Fame was 2009,

and we competed with Party In My Pants.

[man] ♪ There's a party in my pants

♪ And everybody's coming

[Minnie] And then we competed again in 2011.

When we performed, I literally like went out of my body

and, like, saw us on stage.

-It was like... -It was so scary.

[audience cheers]

[Darlinda] This will be our third time competing.

We haven't won yet, and we really want to win this year.

[Perle Noire] For most girls, the Burlesque Hall of Fame,

it's a weekend about networking

and the big competition where they announce

the new Queen of Burlesque for the year.

But it's actually an opportunity

to pay respect to the actual legends who did it themselves.

These were women who were rebels.

I was looking through a magazine

and saw a picture of Josephine Baker

in her banana skirt.

And I read about her life. and I just was so captivated

with this woman who I just thought

was gorgeous and statuesque.

And the more I found out about her,

the more enchanted I was with her story,

because she grew up poor.

Very, very poor.

And the odds... she was a black woman in the '20s

who became this sensation in Paris,

and was the only woman to speak at the March on Washington,

and then was also a spy for the French Resistance.

I said, "I want to be this woman

and I want to do a tribute to her one day."

[audience cheers]

I came across the problem of people not seeing me

as a glamorous woman,

or only wanting to see the sort of savage persona.

I've had producers tell me,

"You should only do an African-themed act."

Or they want me to be a voodoo priestess.

But not a glamorous one.

You know, a really dark voodoo priestess.

And I just find it fascinating that people can't see

a black woman as this glamorous being.

[emcee] Ladies and gentlemen,

it's my pleasure to bring to the stage

Miss Perle Noire.

-[audience cheers] -[piano music plays]

[Perle Noire] People go to burlesque shows to escape,

to have a good time, to laugh.

But burlesque makes people feel certain things,

and sometimes they don't like it.

Sometimes people are turned on, and it bothers them.

Women being turned on by another woman,

and it... they get really discombobulated.

They can't understand what's happening.

Men being turned on by a woman who isn't their ideal body.

You know, maybe his wife is blonde,

but he's turned on by the black performer.

Or he's turned on by the performer that's 200 pounds.

[audience cheering]

[Jezebel Express] You know, I'm a performer

who is not going to be on the cover ofMaxim.

I like my body. Um...

You can call it a bunch of different things.

I'm curvy.

I don't fit into regular-sized clothing.

What I do is mostly straight strip tease.

So I get up, and I do sexy.

And I do it sincerely, and I do it 100%,

and I do it for that audience.

I'm here. This is what I have.

You can like it or you can not like it.

I like it. I think it looks good.

I want to show it to you. I'm doing it.

I don't go out to be political,

but when people see me get on stage,

it's inherently political.

It's easier for people if fat ladies are funny.

You know, it's easier for people if you do your thing,

and it's cute, and it's sanitized,

and it's not meant to be sexy,

and it's not supposed to be dirty,

and it's not supposed to be erotic.

People come up to me after my show and say, like,

"When are you performing again?

"My wife looks like you, and she's so beautiful,

"and I love her, and she won't let me see her naked,

"and I need her to come here so she can see

what I see when I look at her."

You know, like people say those things to me,

so I know that what I do has that effect on people,

and I think, well...

what would it mean if I were like...

if I were really thin?

Like, would my work still be political?

[emcee] Give it up for Jezebel Express, ladies and gentlemen!

[alarm clock buzzes]

[tap water running]

[spits]

[Hazel] I worked in an office.

Regular 9-to-5 job.

It wasn't what I had ever set out to do.

It just ended up being a job I fell into,

And I stayed because it was easy.

I told my boss that I was quitting.

I said, "I'm putting in my notice.

I'm going to become a full-time burlesque performer."

[Scott] I always try to be supportive of anything she wants to do.

But I was a little bit nervous.

Cognitively, it took a second to get used to the idea

that my wife wanted to perform naked

for rooms full of strangers.

Hazel and I met

on the very first day of college.

In addition to being pretty,

one of the first things that attracted me to Hazel

was that I came into her dorm room

and she had brought a Super Nintendo to college.

So she had this, like, retro gaming thing,

and then she mopped the floor with me

when we played "Dr. Mario,"

which had never happened in my life before.

[laughs]

And to this day, I can't touch her.

This is my newest costume.

It's a Beholder,

which is a monster from the Dungeons & Dragons universe.

It has eyeballs.

[laughs]

It also has this bra that blinks.

[sighs]

And voilà.

Pretty good, right?

I learned to use a sewing machine from my mother.

But I never had any actual training.

I love making costumes,

create something that you can hold up

and show people and say, look, I did this. [laughs]

[Scott] She really hit the ground running.

One day my wife had never been on a stage before,

two days later she had shows booked out

for the end of the month.

[Hazel] Since getting into burlesque,

I've really come out of my shell, to use a cliché.

And maybe I went a little overboard.

[laughs]

[Scott] I didn't really understand

what burlesque was.

You know, I learned a lot, and I had to learn quickly.

Because she fell in love with it.

[woman] ♪ I've got my man

♪ In his Wrangler jeans

I've got my man ♪

♪ Bull-riding machine

♪ He's on the road

♪ Away from me

[Hazel] Now I work four to six nights a week,

and I'm fully supported by my burlesque income.

I'm established now but I'm--

you know, I'm not really a veteran performer,

so I still kind of see myself as one of the newbies

trying to gain the respect of the veteran performers.

[woman] ♪ Yeah, yeah, he loves me

♪ I'm his rodeo queen

[audience applauds]

[sultry music plays]

[crowd whoops]

[song ends]

[audience cheers]

[Gal Friday] My hair has always been such a part of my identity.

It was sort of that thing where I thought it's who I was,

or people kind of expected a certain look for me.

And then one day I was like, fuck that,

I'm just going to cut my hair. [laughs]

I was so tired of just being about my hair.

My hair was my saving grace.

The face could be just fucked up, and it's like,

but look at that hair.

And then I just took that away.

I think these will be okay.

If they're too long they hit.

As small as it might be,

the thought is that people are not necessarily

going to take you seriously because you don't look like,

to them, what the idea of a burlesque performer is.

There are some girls who are really adept

at sewing and designing,

and so they can make their own stuff.

And then there are others, like myself,

where we might have this concept

and we'll design it and, you know,

draw it out and have this idea,

and then take it to someone

who knows what the fuck they're doing.

I just got this one made.

I was hoping to debut it

at the New York Burlesque Festival.

But that is actually coming down the pike.

[audience cheers]

[applause]

Every year I'm so honored to be a part of it.

When I first started, I applied and got in.

I remember then how much it meant to me for,

as a first-year performer getting into a festival,

you know, and the first one I'd applied to.

And so it just really holds that special place in my heart.

The actual costume itself is pretty much ready,

but I don't know if the act is ready.

[man on recording] ♪ Schlep-A-Con Schlep-A-- Schlep-A-Con ♪

[Minnie] Running man.

[Darlinda] We looked at a video of it, and feedback from other people,

like, yeah, it's a great act,

but it's just like all your other acts.

You do this, you do this, and we just...

just kind of recycled a lot of our old moves.

And so we were just, like, let's try to rework it.

Basically, we decided to make it a little bit more comical.

Like, oh, we're trying to do like '80s hip-hop moves.

Which is comical in its creation,

because, like, we don't know any.

Down, down, down, down,

down, down, down,

down, down.

When we do this, we're not going to be touching hands.

-Just to note. -Mm-hmm.

No, see, it's just like, down.

Seven, eight...

[Darlinda] That's after.

Because we take off our pants.

Boom, boom.

Do you want some coconut water?

Yeah. It's good.

-[sighs] -Okay.

[Hazel] I would absolutely love

to perform at Burlesque Hall of Fame Weekend.

It would definitely be amazing

to perform on that humungous stage

for all of... for all of these people that I admire.

[mouthing]

It's a huge deal to come to Vegas.

You know, because people are coming from all over the world.

And they get a lot of applications.

[man] Five, six, seven, eight.

♪ Bumblebee, bumblebee Bumblebee ♪

-[Shelly] Chin down. -[Hazel] ♪ Bumblebee

♪ Bumblebee, bumblebee Bumblebee, bumblebee ♪

Excellent. Let's do a couple of lions.

Do you remember those?

Super-super-super scrunch that face, Hazel,

and then open really wide.

Ah.

One more, super-super-super...

I'm very nervous about singing.

It's...

like, it's a scary thing to get up and--

to get up in front of people and sing.

It's much scarier than getting naked on stage.

All right, so here we go.

Boobs.

♪ You've gotta have boobs

♪ If you want to impress Tycoons and rubes ♪

-Good! -♪ You need boobs

♪ To fill out a sweater

♪ You'll get two But three might be better ♪

That's one in the back for dancing.

[Shelly] I think one of the things that separates Hazel

is her continuing drive

to better herself as an artist as a total,

and not just as a really pretty girl.

Like, I honestly don't even think

that Hazel looks at herself and is like,

Oh, my God, I'm so hot.

Like, there's a lot of other girls who are, like,

as hot as her that are just, like, super cunty.

[laughs]

And Hazel just isn't.

♪ Even a cow has to show Her udders ♪

-Good. And keep it going. -♪ You got to have boobs

[Shelly laughs]

♪ B-O-O-B-S

Okay, now this one's a little bit crisper, right?

I want to sing to prove that I can do it.

I want to sing so that I can show people

that I can get up there and do a lot more

to entertain people than, you know, smile and get naked.

♪ Make a man stand right up And take his hat off ♪

Yes, much better. You hear that?

Because you say--

♪ Ha

It gives you a chance to hit that.

But once you get to that O--

♪ Hat off

[both singing sustained notes]

That's it. One more time, so I know it's not a fluke.

[man] Are you coming out in a bra?

[Minnie] I'm coming out, and this is it.

This is the costume. Like the only things that I take off

are going to be bra and gloves,

bra and skirt, and potentially this thing.

Okay, gloves.

[Minnie] I mean, the idea really,

I think, is spinning the records on my boobs.

Yeah. That's like the pièce de résistance.

Yeah. So, like, this is more just like, hey, hello.

-I'm covered in something '80s. -Yeah.

[Garo] I mean, '80s was all about,

like, the high waist and it's cute to have, like,

that little midriff section,

so you're not showing, like, too much skin.

But, Sarah, we should take her bust, waist, hips and length.

There's certain unique challenges

when you're working with a burlesque client

rather than another client,

just because, of course, you have to think

of the mechanics of the outfit.

The mechanics of how it relates to the act,

the mechanics of how it's going to come off.

So there's no, like, bumps in the road.

That thing has to snap off quickly,

that zipper has to come off smoothly.

It's got to be beautiful as it's coming off as well,

the inside and the outside,

because everybody is looking at everything.

Now, I'm going to leave my finger there,

so see if you can comfortably unzip yourself.

-Like that? So... -Yeah.

[Garo whistles] Yeah.

Burlesque is such an exciting thing to work on,

because you're constantly working on something

that is meant to transform

from one state to another, and to fool the audience.

And it's always such a huge challenge

to have that burlesquer come out on stage,

and have the audience not size her up and be like,

okay, that's coming off first and that's coming off second.

Close your eyes and open your hand.

-Yay! -[laughs]

[giggles]

It's a down payment.

[Minnie] When I first started out in 2004,

you know, at that time it just was this place

where you could just really experiment.

Back then, everyone was so individual,

what they were creating in burlesque,

that if someone was wearing a panel skirt,

if someone like ever wore that, no one would do that,

because that was like, oh, they're doing that.

Okay, cool, then I'm going to go and, you know, whatever.

No one is burlesque was skinny then.

[car horn honks]

[police siren wailing distantly]

It seems that there is a trend that,

since burlesque has become mainstream,

that restaurants and more upscale bars

are interested in having this sort of entertainment.

Throughout history, burlesque has been a source of,

like, lowbrow entertainment.

It's cheap, you know, accessible.

Anyone can come. Like, people used to bring their wives.

It was like, you know, my mom even saw a burlesque show,

like, when she was a kid with her dad,

because he went to go see a jazz band.

However, people are kind of glomming onto it,

you know, trying to make it highbrow,

or trying to make it

only for people with money,

or only for people who want to look at skinny people,

or one body type.

And the people that are kind of buying into that,

it's not coming from a place of soul or heart.

[audience whooping]

[man]

[Hazel] I do, very much.

[Hazel] Today, I signed a contract

to perform in Atlantic City this summer.

I'm going to be doing shows once a week

at the Borgata Casino.

I never thought that I would be in this situation:

more work than I need, and being in demand as a performer.

It's like a dream come true,

except that I never actually had this dream,

because I didn't know that it was a possibility.

Even a couple years ago, I would say

I'm not going to be performing all the time.

I'm just going to be performing for fun.

But now I'm performing all the time,

and I travel, and...

the casino really spoils me.

[laughs]

[Minnie] Quite frankly,

burlesque does not pay the bills,

and my rent is really expensive.

And so I, um...

I need to figure something else out

in terms of my income.

But the thought of going back to a full-time day job right now

is like...

just makes me feel, like, awful.

[laughs]

[Tatah Dujour]

-[Minnie] We are-- -[Tatah] Totally down.

[Minnie]

Some people just don't like the city.

[Minnie] No, and I understand that.

-Yeah. -I guess it's like

they're in an awkward, unfortunate position,

because they're right next to New York.

I mean, and you know that I'm not New York-centric.

Take a right, take a right.

Whoo-hoo!

-Let's do Newark! -Let's do Newark!

[dance music throbs]

Hi.

Good to see you.

Hi.

-How are you? -Good.

It is really dank more than normal back here, down here.

-Is this mold? -Uh-huh.

Is that-- that's bad.

Mold is bad.

[laughs]

[sighs]

And we're here.

-Are you slamming the wine? -Yeah.

[groans]

Oh, Lord.

Okay.

Let's do this shit.

[emcee]

We will play some music,

and you guys are going to show them

lots and lots of love, lots and lots of joy.

Let them know that you're having a great time.

And then you get to see the goods, you dig?

The magic of burlesque.

And the power of boobies. Salut.

[audience cheers]

[sultry music plays]

[Hazel] Doing burlesque full-time is...

is hard work.

You know, working every night, practicing and rehearsing.

[audience cheers]

It's a lot of fun, but I don't want to see myself

working in little bars several years down the road.

I got it, thank you.

Oy. Okay.

[Gal Friday] As the New York Burlesque Festival was coming up,

I was so nervous for this act.

I was all stressed out about it because I was like,

is this going to work, or is this boring?

I'm not doing that much.

I was really scared.

For me, I'm not that quick to make a new act.

It's very costly and, you know,

sometimes it's just like the inspiration

to do that just isn't there.

I could go-go in this.

-Oh, yeah. -[laughs]

[Gal Friday] When you first start performing,

you're excited.

So you're just pumping out,

and you're coming up with all these ideas,

and you're going fucking nuts.

And everything feels fresh.

Well, after a while things aren't gonna be fresh anymore.

Please welcome to the stage Gal Friday!

[seductive music playing]

[Gal Friday] So now you have to start asking yourself, you know,

"What am I getting out of this? What are they getting out of this?"

Everybody goes through moments when they don't feel confident.

You know, it's hard.

Especially when you're a naked lady on stage, you know,

there's a lot of things going through your head.

Am I pretty enough?

Is my body good enough? And all that crap.

But once you're onstage,

your job is to entertain your audience.

Just go in, and it's a job, and you're like, zoom.

[jazzy music playing]

[music ends]

[siren wails]

As the years go by,

I wish I also had something else that I could do.

There's only so far I think I can go with this,

but I don't, at this point in my life,

really have that many other options.

I went to school for theater.

Might as well shoot yourself in the foot.

That's actually why I moved here to New York.

I wanted to be a part of that.

I just wasn't cut out for the hustle of it.

The cutthroat nature of it, it just wasn't for me.

And then there's the guilt that goes with it,

because you move here and everybody back home is going,

"So, what are you doing now?"

And it's like, I'm waiting tables.

You feel like a big fucking loser and a disappointment.

All the things your mom ever said to you,

like, this is a pipe dream.

You know, what are you doing with yourself?

[Minnie] Right now I'm going through a lot of transitions in my life.

I was diagnosed with seronegative arthritis,

which is a version of rheumatoid arthritis, in 2000.

I was in remission for 10 years,

and then it came back.

It's very complex.

Like I look healthy and I look like, good.

But I don't always feel good and I'm not fully healthy.

[Darlinda] Maybe we can run through our new number

just on the stage with, like, our phones.

Okay.

[Minnie] My body was so bad,

it was so-- I could barely move.

My range of motion and my flexibility is very limited,

because my knees are in so much pain and they're so stiff.

For shows, usually adrenaline kicks in,

but that's not healthy to live on adrenaline,

and to perform on adrenaline.

If we could just play Scott's intro,

and then we'll play your opening number, okay?

[man singing scales]

[Darlinda] I see the changes in Minnie.

She has some days that are really hard,

and it can be really frustrating for me,

because it's like, oh, well, we can't go down on the floor,

you know, or we can't do this or we can't do this.

You know, sometimes I feel like, how are we gonna get any better

if you can't do this thing?

[woman] We have another East Village legend.

She is considered the one-woman riot of burlesque.

Let's give it up for Minnie Tonka.

Minnie Tonka!

-[audience cheers] -[rock music plays]

[Minnie] I've been so selective in what energy I'm going to put out.

But at the same time it's been this balance.

Like, oh, I don't want people to forget about me, you know?

So it's like, I have to keep this persona

of, like, Minnie Tonka, whoo-hoo!

[audience cheering]

It's been this massive,

just emotional and physical journey and change.

I think my perspective on everything

is changing right now.

[percussion music playing]

Hello, motherfuckers!

[audience cheers]

And welcome to the 12th annual New York Burlesque Festival.

[all cheer]

He's thinking, is it a man or a woman, is it a man or a woman?

Sir, the answer is no.

[laughter]

[Jen Gapay] It's been going great.

We're on Day 3 today.

We are at the Saturday Spectacular

in B.B. King's in Times Square.

This is kind of our crème de la crme of performers.

Murray Hill hosts tonight.

And then we feature basically the best in burlesque

from around the world.

This is for all the ladies

who think living in New York City is glamorous.

I got really sick.

Like I had a panic attack just before.

[car horn honks]

This might be something that the audience might not

like it or get it.

If an act is weird, sometimes if people

are uncomfortable or if it's weird-looking,

if people are uncomfortable they'll laugh.

I was afraid, like, if one person started laughing,

that I would fall into that thing

of treating it like a joke.

But I didn't want to make fun of myself.

-[audience applauds] -[Murray] Ladies and gentlemen,

our next performer, she's doing a brand-new number.

That's right, and if you don't know burlesque,

know that no one ever says that or does that.

She's doing a brand-new number.

[audience cheers]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's not Monday,

it's not Tuesday, it's not Wednesday,

it's not Thursday.

Right now it's Gal Friday!

[all cheer]

[synthetic music playing]

[Gal Friday] When I was up there,

everything just sort of clicked.

And then it just all came out of me,

and it was such a great, honest moment.

And I was throwing my all into it.

It was that thing of, like,

feeling, like, sexually repressed.

Until the hood came off.

And then it was just like an orgasm.

-[music ends] -[audience cheers]

[Murray] Let's hear it for her, everybody: Gal Friday!

[Gal Friday] After the New York Burlesque Festival,

I was surprised at how much it ripped from me.

Everything I wanted it to be kind of exploded out.

You know, like, it was just enough out of my comfort zone,

but still had aspects of who I am as a performer.

Like, I just performed it, and it felt really good,

and it felt real, and it felt from the heart.

And I think it's a rare thing to hit on something

that felt really honest, but also felt right.

[inaudible]

I'm feeling really excited, and nervous and, you know,

it's like, the pressure's on, you know?

Mom Just Mom?

[woman] Who else could it be?

[Darlinda] You're on camera.

I was just getting interviewed.

-[woman laughs] -[Darlinda] Hi.

My God, you look beautiful.

Oh, my God, she's not joking.

No, you're... yeah.

[interviewer] When did you find out Darlinda was a burlesque performer?

Well, at birth.

[laughs]

The day she was born,

I was in the hospital room, okay?

And she must have been three hours old,

and she had eye contact.

And I have witnesses.

Fifteen people came to visit me that day.

And she literally looked around the room in everybody's eyes,

and they remember that day.

It was very freaky, yes.

So she had stage presence at birth.

[snickers]

[interviewer] What are your feelings about the Schlep Sisters?

They're funny.

But they're also-- they're very--

they're cute in a way.

They're adorable.

[interviewer] Do you have any jitters

about them going on in competitions?

They'll win.

[laughs] They'll win.

You heard it here.

Yeah!

[indistinct chatter]

I got this for, like, $9 from China on eBay.

And with-- plus shipping, it was like 14 bucks.

Is this hot or what?

[man] It's amazing.

[Minnie] So anyway, you guys--

you need to take a photo of me in the hallway.

How are you feeling?

[Hinda] Well, obviously, I'm filled with pride.

Oh, I want to cry.

Well, every time I see you perform,

it brings me back to that moment

when you were figure skating the very first time

and you competed, you were like four years old.

When I see you out there bringing joy to everybody

and joy to yourself, there is such pride.

So I want you to know that.

We're just, like, really, really grateful and really excited.

You know, just, like, being here

is so much more

than just getting the opportunity to compete.

I just feel like it's, you know,

this validation from the universe

that, like, you know, I'm healing.

And the stage is really slippery,

so I'm nervous about that!

-I'm so sorry you told me that. -Yeah, I know.

-[laughs] -You're going to flip.

-I know. -Yeah. You're going to flip.

Thank you for being here.

Of course.

[Hazel] I'm very nervous.

I'm excited.

I've performed for an audience, you know,

for an audience this size before plenty of times,

but never an audience full of my peers.

Mostly I just want to feel like I deserve to be up there.

[Scott] I feel immensely proud of my wife,

and sometimes I feel like even she doesn't fully get

how proud of her I am, or what a big deal it is,

what she's done.

Five years ago she worked a day job, Internet support.

There's nothing wrong with that, but it's not show business,

it's not the type of rarified skill set

that now she's doing,

and being acknowledged by more and more people.

[rock music playing]

[audience cheers]

Please welcome, from New York City,

the delicate flower,

Hazel Honeysuckle.

[audience cheers]

[fanfare music playing]

♪ You've got to have boobs

♪ If you want to impress

♪ Tycoons and rubes

♪ You need boobs

♪ To fill out a sweater

♪ You'll get two But three might be better ♪

Oh, that's one in the back for dancing.

[audience cheers]

♪ Boobs always give thrills

♪ Two fried eggs Will surely grab him ♪

♪ Like grapefruits will

Oh, they're both breakfast foods.

♪ But listen, folks

♪ What sets them all A-whirling ♪

♪ Is a bare pair of tits With tassels twirling ♪

♪ You've got to have boobs

♪ B-O-O-B-S

Do you think it's easy to write songs like this?

Lots of research.

♪ Just think if all us girls Had boobies with fluoridation ♪

♪ We could take the cavities out Of the whole damn nation ♪

♪ A nibble a day Keeps the dentist away ♪

Even drag queens love big titties.

This would go over great at the goat farm.

♪ Pasties are a boob's

♪ Best friend

[audience cheering]

[song ends]

[Sailor Sinclaire] Friends and lovers,

keep it going for Hazel Honeysuckle!

[Darlinda] I felt, like, oh, my gosh,

we're in this show with all these amazing people and, like--

I just felt like they looked amazing on that big stage.

I was like, wow, they're really talented and I just, you know,

it's like they're flexible and I'm like, wow, and here I am.

[Darlinda] Picking each other up.

[Minnie] Yes, throwing each other in the air.

[Darlinda] No matter the outcome,

I feel like it's such a positive thing that we're doing.

I feel like we're both in such like great places,

like emotionally and physically.

And, like, whatever happens, I just feel so good about it.

Like, I feel like we're gonna fucking rock that stage.

People are going to be like, "what the fuck?"

Yay, we can run.

-[laughs] -I don't know.

We do have that cartwheel.

[laughs]

I feel confident.

Yeah. Yeah, me too.

Yeah.

[Darlinda] Okay, I can feel the camel toe.

Yeah, I have major camel toe.

[cheers]

Are you guys ready for the Tournament of Tease?

[crowd cheering]

Our first category, as always, is...

-Small Groups. -[audience cheers]

[rock music plays]

[cheers]

-[music ends] -[audience cheers]

But our next performers tonight are showbiz sisters,

and have been for 12 years!

[cheers and applause]

So please welcome to the stage, the Schlep Sisters!

[cheering]

♪ Schlep-A-Con Schlep-A-- Schlep-A-Con ♪

♪ Schlep-A-Con is A Schlep Sisters convention ♪

♪ It's fakata to think what They do for the attention ♪

♪ Darlinda spins around like A gorgeous living dreidel ♪

♪ While Minnie claps her hands She's such a shaina maidel ♪

♪ Everybody say shalom To the Schlep Sisters ♪

-♪ Oh, yeah -♪ Ooh, watch them dance Just look at them go ♪

♪ When they start to move Get ready for a show ♪

♪ A little nervous? Don't know what to do? ♪

♪ Just order some schnapps Like one or two ♪

♪ But leave a nice tip

♪ You don't want to be A schnorrer ♪

♪ Oy gevalt That's a really sexy aura ♪

♪ Baby, come join The party now ♪

♪ Well, I'm so happy To see you ♪

♪ Well, you know It's a good time now ♪

♪ Singing Hava Nagila

-♪ I feel warm -♪ I feel warm

♪ Feel my tush

♪ You give me Such a burning bush ♪

♪ If I can't have you I'll break down ♪

♪ Diving on the ground

♪ I said, oy

-♪ Baby -♪ Baby

♪ "Jewish" that you could Be me ♪

♪ I said, oy

♪ Baby

♪ I knew Jewish It said see you there ♪

♪ I said, oy

♪ Baby

♪ Well, I loved you Shlemiel ♪

♪ Schlep, Schlep, Schlep Schlep-A-- Schlep-A-Con ♪

♪ Oy

[audience cheers]

Did you notice, I wasn't doing my full...?

I think we just need to just accept it.

[emcee] What an incredible show this was.

Now whatever happens from this point on,

I think you will all remember

that this bunch of human beings

gave you an amazing show.

[cheers and applause]

And the Best Small Group goes to...

[both] 2 to Fly!

[cheers]

[Minnie] So...

Darlinda and I feel so good about our performance.

I'm going to cry.

Like, we had so much fun

and we fucking rocked it.

And...

like, we got off that stage and we were so excited and happy,

and I feel like

even though we didn't come home with the trophy,

we totally won.

We won on so many levels.

We totally won.

[inaudible]

[woman] Red bean.

[man] Red bean, yuzu,

Nutella.

-Coconut. -Coconut.

[Gal Friday] I messaged him first

-on OkCupid. -[man] Yeah.

I saw that he liked the movie Pooty Tang.

Oh, you likePooty Tang.

If you liked The Last Dragon,

I might pop out a kid right now.

And of course I loved The Last Dragon.

And he's like, "I saw it in the theater like three times."

[both laugh]

And I was, like, wet as fuck, so it was on.

[laughs]

I said, "I work at night, I'm a performer."

When I mentioned I did burlesque, he was like,

"Oh, that's what I actually figured."

Do you know how hard it is to find a normal picture,

when all your pictures of you titties and, like, eyebrows.

It was so hard for me to find a picture

where I didn't have eyebrows, like, thickly drawn on,

you know, and four inches of makeup.

I was like, oh, I work a lot at the Slipper Room,

which he had been to.

To me I was like, what is a better way to show someone

what I do than to be, like, this is my house.

[emcee] It's Friday night.

It's gals' night.

Please come up close. Make good friends with her.

I went with a friend of mine to see her perform

at the Slipper Room.

And I got butt naked. Matt puts his dick on my head.

And then I sat on his face. [laughs]

-[Sebastian] Then we went to IHOP. -[Gal Friday] Oh, yeah.

Then we went to IHOP at, like, 4:00 in the morning.

It was romance.

It was definitely like the most interesting date

I had had in a very long time.

[Gal Friday] During the first date,

we had like long periods of not talking.

But it didn't feel like I was searching out for things to say.

It was just like, oh, now we're having a moment of silence.

It's just like, I can be me.

You know, it's nice that I don't have to be on.

I don't always have to be Gal Friday.

[interviewer] Where do you see yourself as a burlesque performer

as you continue on this journey?

[Hazel] With burlesque becoming so much more mainstream,

you get a lot of shows of sparkly women in costumes

and not a lot of substance behind it.

And I'm one of those girls in the sparkly costumes.

I'm a little pretty princess.

And that's what I like to put onstage, because that's me.

And the thing is, it has to be part of your personality,

what you put onstage.

When I get to do burlesque, I can be sexy,

I can be stupid.

I can be gorgeous, or ugly, or funny.

I can do anything I want

when I get out onstage.

And that's kind of magical.

[Minnie] I made the decision to change my life,

focus on me, to put myself and my healing first.

But I didn't know what to do,

so I ended up getting this awesome part-time job.

Just administration work for a synagogue.

[emcee] Let's get this horah started

with the Schlep Sisters!

[cheers and applause]

[Darlinda] This partnership, the Schlep Sisters,

is like the longest partnership that I've ever had.

[Minnie] To quote Viva La Fever, burlesque legend,

"Congratulations on your first 10 years."

And that was super inspiring when she said that.

We didn't even look at it that way.

We were like, our first 10 years.

-Yeah. -Wow.

[Gal Friday] Know what I think we're gonna need?

-[Sebastian] What? -Is even more coffee.

[Sebastian] More coffee?

The espresso. I'm burning through it.

[Sebastian] Okay, I will pick some up.

-Thank you. -I'm taking the rent also.

Oh, thanks.

Love you.

[Sebastian] Bye, I love you.

Tits, check.

Legs, check.

Vagina, check.

[sultry music plays]