Original subtitles

LENFILM

DON QUIXOTE

Screenplay by Ye. SHVARTS based on the novel by Cervantes

Directed by G. KOIINTSEV

Cinematography by A. MOSKVIN, A. DUDKO

Production Designers Ye. YENEY, N. ALTMAN

Music by Kara KARAYEV

English Subtitles by T. Kameneva

Starring

Don Quixote - N. CHERKASOV Sancho Panza - Yu. TOLUBEYEV

Housekeeper - S. BIRMAN Niece - S. GRIGORYEVA

Curate - V. MAKSIMOV Barber - V. KOLPAKOV

Aldonza - L. KASYANOVA Altisidora - T. AGAMIROVA

Carrasco - G. VITSIN

Duke - B. FREINDLIKH Duchess - L. VERTINSKAYA

Maritornes - G. VOLCHEK Peasant Woman - O. VIKLAND

Shepherd - A. BENIAMINOV Andres - S. TSOMAYEV

Reading again.

It's amul, dear Senor.

Senor Curate. Senor Barber. You're here.

Thank God. Come in, please.

Let's hurry, my dear Senor.

Please don't cry, Senora Niece.

Medicine believes that tears

are the precious nectar of a human body,

which it's more healthful to retain than shed.

How can the poor thing help crying

when our life has taken such a sad turn?

Those accursed books have ruined the soul of our senor.

Do not condemn all books indiscriminately, woman.

Condemn the books of chivalry only.

Curse on you, books of chivalry!

Our senor read one book - and nothing, he read three and took to thinking,

he read seven and said

that he should make a knight-errant of himself.

And today at supper, after eating fried eggs with bacon,

he renounced his family name of Alonso Quixano

and called himself Don Quixote of La Mancha.

And locked himself up in the library.

That's why we took the liberty of waking you in the middle of the night

in order to find out, with your help, what he's doing there.

Let's go and peek in together.

Come on. We're afraid to go alone.

O Holy May, have mercy!

Where did the poor man get a knight's armour?

He found it in the attic.

It was his grandfather's, the shield - his great-grandfather's, and this...

Uncle showed these antiquities to me when I was a little girl.

Senor Barber, you're a learned man.

Does it really mean that books

can make a man lose his wits?

It all depends on the blood make-up.

Some, while reading, give themselves up to reflection.

Those people have thick blood.

Others cy, their blood is watery.

And our hidalgo's blood is fiery!

He believes any foolish invention of a writer

as if it's Holy Writ.

It terrifies me even to think where this faith of the hidalgo

may lead him.

I hear the sound of trumpets.

The drawbridge's going to be lowered

and Dulcinea will come out onto the balcony.

Where are you, accursed girl?

Aldonza!

Aldonza, you accursed wench, where's the water?

Senor Quixano? You're up so early, like a common peasant.

Excuse my impertinence, Senor.

I meant to say, like a bird of heaven.

We've got very happy news, Senor!

Our cow had mo calves at once!

Both look so healthy, only very skinny, just like your worship.

Forgive me, the ignorant girl, I'm so happy I don't know what I'm saying.

Father's gone mad with joy, too. Do you hear?

Do you hear him bellowing?

I'll kill you, accursed girl!

Coming!

- Goodbye, Senor. - Goodbye.

The most noble of all noble ladies.

Ignorant people believe you're a common farm-girl.

You're more beautiful and kind than any princess.

Books opened up the truth to me.

You're not Aldonza, you're Dulcinea.

The evil magician Friston has cast a spell over you.

I swear I won't put my sword back in its sheath

until I lift that spell.

O, my only love,

Dulcinea del Toboso!

It's hard to find more stubborn a man than you in all La Mancha.

I'm ordering you now, answer me!

I want to say "yes", Senor.

I want it so much that

I can hardly keep myself from saying it.

Say to me a few words in your knightly language

and I think I'll agree.

Listen, then, to what will be written about you and me

if tomorrow at dawn we set out from the village in quest

of great deeds and adventures.

"Scarce had the rubicund Apollo

spread o'er the face of the broad spacious earth

the golden threads of his bright hair,

scarce had the little birds attuned their notes

to hail the coming of the rosy Dawn..."

Sinner that I am, how beautiful it sounds!

"Scarce had all this happened in heaven and in woods,

when the renowned knight Don Quixote of La Mancha

mounted his celebrated steed Rocinante

and, accompanied by his faithful

and valiant esquire by the name of Sancho Panza..."

How true to life it is!

"Traversed La Mancha,

inspiring fear in the villains

and hope in the abused."

I guess I'll have to go, after all.

Your helmet is ready, Senor. Try it.

You put it on.

Feels nice!

I'm like a bird in a cage, only seeds are missing.

Sit down on the stump.

I'm sitting.

No, Senor,

I used to go hunting with you. I know how heavy a hand you've got.

- Put the helmet on. - I will, but later.

First we'll try the helmet without my head.

A cow was careful, and lived a life plentiful.

You silly man.

In a book about the feats of Knight Amadis of Gaul,

I found a recipe for a magic balsam that makes the armour unpierceable.

I brewed it and rubbed a whole bottle of it into the helmet!

Don't you believe books of chivalry?

How can I not believe them, Senor?

Yet, for starters, let's put the helmet here, on the stump.

Go ahead now, Senor.

Nothing personal, Senor, but I'm not going.

I need to think. Don't be angry with me, Senor.

My woman won't let me go. And a woman can out-argue the sea.

Besides, I don't know

how much you're going to pay me.

What are you talking about?

I'll make you governor of the very first island I win.

Before a month is over, you'll be governing your own island.

- I've wanted it for a long time. - You'll eat and drink from gold.

I've wanted to eat and drink, too.

Ah, come what may!

When are we going, Senor?

Tomorrow at dawn.

Do you hear the bells tolling for our future great deeds?

For great deeds they are, but not ours.

The sexton has an affair with a scullery maid from the next village.

He's summoning his doll to meet him.

Do you hear?

One, mo. In mo days.

One, mo, three. At three o'clock.

, Don't toll, sexton! Those who toll will never please their doll.

Enough blabbering, our procrastination endangers

the whole mankind.

That accursed rut!

No, Sancho, you shouldn't blame the rut.

I know better, Senor.

Our whole village curses that damned pothole.

My neighbour tells me, "Sancho, you should fill that damn thing."

And I say, "Why me? You do it!"

And he says, "And why me? And I say, "And why me?"

And he says, "And why me?" And I say, "And why me?"

- Enough, squire. - It's only the beginning of the story.

I say to my neighbour reasonably and justly: "Why me?"

And he gives me a silly and impertinent answer: "Why me?"

You must understand that this rut

was dug by the claws of a magician named Friston.

We'll have many a meeting with him,

but never will I step back or quaver.

Onward! Not a step back!

Oh, master, please forgive me!

Do you hear? Do you hear it, Sancho?

I do, Senor.

We'd better turn away, or we'll have to be eyewitnesses.

Follow me, dishonest man! Someone's weeping there!

I'll never do it again!

You robber! You murderer!

Where's my sheep?

Who will pay me for it, scoundrel? Answer me, rascal!

Oh, master, forgive me!

Discourteous knight, mount your steed and defend yourself!

Pedro, close in from the right! Antonio, beat him from behind!

Knives out! Axes out, too! Everything out!

Your worship, I'm doing nothing wrong!

I'm a farmer. I'm chastising my servant.

Release the child.

Where do you see a child? Your worship, he's not a child, he's a shepherd.

I understood. I'm releasing him, your worship.

Go, Andres. Go, my boy. You're free, Senor Andres.

- What about his pay? - What pay?

I know your kind. How much does he owe you?

For nine months, Senor.

He's lying!

- Pay him at once! - My money's at home, Senor.

I'll pay brother Andres as soon as we get home. Come on, my angel.

Swear that you'll pay him!

- I swear. - Swear better!

I swear by all the saints that I'll pay my dear Andres!

May I burn in hell

if he should say a word against me after that!

I swear by life in Heaven that he'll be satisfied!

All right.

Your worship! Your worship!

As long as you stood up for me, don't leave me with him.

My master will flay me alive like a Saint Bartholomew.

I fear to be left here.

Don't go away.

Be not afraid, son.

Your master swore by all the saints that he wouldn't hurt you.

He is not going to ruin his immortal soul for the sake of a farthing.

Never before in my life has anyone ever stood up for me.

Of course, I feel sorry for this little shepherd.

However, that deed is not to my taste.

Someone else's property is more sacred than a monastery.

And we meddled in it like in our own.

No, when I'm a governor...

Hush, you ninny.

The boy's gratitude will be warming my heart

in the darkest days of our wanderings.

Enough blabbering!

Our procrastination endangers the whole mankind!

Be ready, Sancho.

We've entered the terrain

where dragons must surely abound.

Smelling a knight, at least one is bound to crawl out,

and I will slaughter him!

Dragons? Ugh, how disgusting!

I can't even stand grass-snakes, and there you are, such a vermin!

Perhaps we won't come across any?

We will!

Do you hear?

See that huge devilish chariot?

Your worship, it's a coach.

Halt!

Halt!

O, fair lady, confess to Don Quixote of La Mancha,

and be not afraid of your guards, have you been taken captive?

Alas, yes, valorous knight.

Charge, my noble steed!

Onward, for Dulcinea del Toboso!

- Surrender! - Spare the poor man's life, knight.

I'll obey and do as you wish, O fair lady.

I'll grant you life, villain, but only on one condition.

You will go to the peerless and beautiful Dulcinea del Toboso,

fall on your knees before her,

and tell her, the lady of my heart,

about the feat I've performed in her honour.

How far is it?

My squire will show him the way, O fairest lady.

It's not magnanimous to deprive me of the most loyal of my servants.

Is he your servant, Madame?

But you said you were a captive.

Yes, I was captive of a traveling boredom.

But you've freed me of it.

And I know what we should do.

Let me be the lady of your heart.

Then we will not have to send my servant in there,

for your feat was performed right before my eyes.

You will agree, won't you?

Am I not worthy of your love?

Take a better look at me.

Well? Come on!

Am I not to your liking?

Please don't tempt a poor knight.

I can't do it, such is the law.

The lady of my heart is Dulcinea del Toboso.

- We won't tell her. - I swear I cannot.

- We'll do it quietly. - No.

- No one will know. - No.

It's true, your eyes are piercing my heart.

Turn away, Senora. Don't torment the man.

Sit beside me and we'll discuss it.

I've just seen my husband off to Mexico.

And I'm dying to talk to someone about love.

About love!

Well? Come on!

I'm waiting.

All right, I'm coming.

No, not for the life of me!

Find out where he lives.

For such a splendid fool,

the Duke will be grateful to me for the rest of his life.

Poor uncle!

He's been away from home for so long!

Each day brings us something new about him.

He's the talk of all Spain.

He attacked some barber and took his shaving basin. Why?

I would have given him my old one absolutely voluntarily,

just for three reals.

My poor uncle imagined it was not a barber's basin but a magic helmet.

And why,

why did our senor drive away the honourable pilgrims

that were carrying a statue of Madonna,

repenting for their sins and diligently flogging themselves?

But the poor uncle imagined they had stolen Madonna.

Well, the pilgrims is only half the problem.

But the sheep! The sheep!

He took a herd of sheep for an army of giants.

Very well, he was mistaken.

Then he ought to have driven the herd here.

We would have put it to good use.

Any shepherd brings us some kind of news!

There it goes again.

Come in.

Thank God, it's only Aldonza.

What do you want? Have you brought milk?

Your worship, I've brought some amazing news about the senor.

Is he wounded? Sick? Dying?

No, Senora, it's even more amazing news!

Our senor has fallen in love!

Holy May!

That's what I said, word for word.

Our senor fell in love

with a high-born lady

by name of Dulcinea del Toboso!

My father comes from Toboso, he says he saw such a lady as a child.

He fell in love with an old woman?

We reasoned it must be her daughter, or even granddaughter,

because our senor has fallen madly in love with her.

He knocks down people in her honour,

no matter what their title or rank.

And he pines for her

all nights long,

and composes songs for her.

And he speaks of her so tenderly

as though she were a child or a bird.

- I even felt jealous. - Of what?

No one will probably love me that much.

What about Pedro?

He only knows how to squeeze and pinch me.

How lucky she is, Dulcinea del Toboso.

What is it you're muttering?

I'm counting the days we've been on the road.

So, how many of them?

Counting by battering, bruises, blows

and other mishaps, it's been no less than 20 years.

Knights don't count their wounds.

Excuse my audacity, Senor, but where's that island

where I'm going to be governor?

We keep on fighting and fighting, but no reward is in sight.

Am I to blame for Friston having maimed human souls

more terribly than I had believed while staying at home?

Who are those wretched men?

They are galley slaves belonging to his majesty the King.

We're taking them to the galleys.

What for?

Come and ask themselves, Senor.

They take a pleasure in talking about their rascalities.

For what offences are you now in such a sorry case, poor man?

For being a lover. I loved a washerwoman's basket of clean linen.

I held my love so close in my embrace. The owner of the basket began wailing.

The villains forced it from me.

Damnation!

And what brought you to the galleys? Can it be love, too?

- No, just tenderness. - Tenderness?

Yes, I'm too tender. I couldn't bear torture and said yes instead of no.

And just one short word gave me 6 years in the galleys.

What did they take you in for, senor?

For the want of ten ducats in my purse.

If I had it at the right time, I would have freshened up the attorney's wit

and greased the notary's pen.

Sirs of the guard, I questioned those men.

They should not go to the galleys.

If those poor men had powerful patrons,

the judge would have set any of them free.

- He's as right as the Writ. - Was he a convict himself?

He understands everything.

Perhaps your worship has a patron for us?

Senor! Senor!

I have. I will have you released.

I'm a knight-errant.

- Who? - What?

I took an oath to defend the unfortunate and oppressed.

Senor Commissary, I command you to let the wretches go.

Put that basin straight on your head, while it's in one piece,

and don't go looking for three feet on a cat.

Senor, you're a rascal!

Senor! Senor!

Wait! Listen to me!

My friends, go at once where I'll direct you.

- Will they hide us there? - You'll go to the lady of my heart.

Tell her about the exploit I've done in her honour.

Don't tease us, or we'll bite you.

My friends, I gave you freedom!

Are you so ungrateful as to refuse me?

Senor, do you know what the gallows is?

Gratitude is stronger than fear.

Gratitude!

If you freed only me, I'd be grateful. But you've freed all!

You're arranging an escape without knowing the rules!

All the churches must be sounding the alarm already!

What do you have under that barber's basin, a head or a pumpkin?

- I'll make you be grateful! - Easy, man, we're a hardened kind.

It's for your own good!

Clobber him! He's a spy.

Come to your senses! He's not a spy! He has freed you!

It was long ago. He's sold out since.

Beat him!

My friends...

My friends...

I gave you freedom!

Senor, I have only one thing to request of your worship.

Don't confess to anyone that we've suffered a beating.

For once people see a beaten man,

they only strive to add some more.

As long as there's a cripple, there will be no want of offenders.

He who is weakened, will be the first to be kicked at.

Who is feeble and diseased will make even a hare displeased.

No, when I'm a governor...

I seem to hear you as if from far off,

so much ringing there is in my ears.

I'm saying when I'm a governor...

What's the matter with you?

I've been looking at you,

and you've got such a pale and pitiful face that I had a sudden thought.

I even cried out in amazement and sadness.

I had a thought befitting a knight, your worship.

It was a real miracle! Oh, good God, just think, a thought!

- Tell me, what thought? - This was the thought.

It'd be proper to add to your gallant name of Don Quixote of La Mancha

a special distinction -

the Knight of the Rueful Countenance.

Very well, brother.

Let it be so.

I imagine that the sage

who will one day write the history of our achievements

has put that thought in your head.

Because mine is ringing too much.

And here is the castle.

Oh no, your worship, it's just an inn.

You can take my word for it, it is an enchanted castle.

May my Dapple drop dead if it's not an inn.

- A castle. - An inn.

A castle!

Senor, those who cudgeled us were masters of their trade,

that's why you're imagining things.

If those guests refuse our services too, we'll be in dire straits.

We can't be reduced to the shame of paying, like some old hags,

for lodging and supper with our own money.

The noble master of the castle

sent those highborn maidens to meet us.

Senoritas, if you are ever in need of a knight

to protect your innocence,

just command and I will die guarding your honour.

What a funny madman has arrived!

- You may just die laughing! - Don't disturb us at work.

You won't find such imbeciles even at the court!

He called us innocent and highborn maidens!

You've got five aces in your pack of cards!

Greetings, my friends!

Are there in this castle any wretched,

oppressed, unjustly condemned,

or captives?

Just command and I will right any kind of wrong.

- This is too much. - Hush, let us listen.

I'm Don Quixote of La Mancha.

The Knight of the Rueful Countenance.

Hush, you fools, you'll scare him off and spoil the fun.

All this is very good, Senor Knight,

the only bad thing is that there's no spare room in the inn.

I can only offer you lodging in the garret.

Let's go, Senor, I'll show you the way.

Stop laughing, don't you see the man can hardly stand on his feet?

- Who's beaten the poor man so? - Nobody, daughter.

My master has fallen down from a rock, that's all.

No one can beat him, no!

He will beat anyone back!

Why?

Everyone's supposed to listen to me, for I'm a judge.

I thought up something that won't leave a clear spot on a fool,

with all his justice.

No, let's do it my way.

There's no better prankster on the road than myself.

To the devil with the virtuous knight! I think we should...

No, no, no, no!

We'll do it this way.

The accursed Maritornes falls in love with all fine lads,

and does it absolutely for free.

It's time to teach her a lesson.

Her present lover, a muleteer,

is also quartered in the garret, so we...

Senora, manage to save some plasters for me, too.

Then you must have fallen too?

No, but from the shock I got at seeing my master fall,

my whole body aches.

That may well be. Many a time I dreamt that I was falling down from a tower.

And when I awoke I found myself weak and shaken.

What are you whispering to him?!

He's jealous, silly.

We whisper not to awake the sick senor.

Go now.

Go.

I'll come to you at night.

It feels so nice when someone's jealous.

But your kind should be held in rein.

You're right, of course.

As virtuous as I am, but your whispering

has charmed me like a spring wind.

The pigeon hurried to his dove.

Senor Judge, hold him back, let the knight warm up a bit.

Wait, friend.

Is it true, as they say, that you bought a mule with such a temper

that no one would hire it?

It's an absolute truth.

It has reduced to me to the state that my temper's become devilish too.

Let's discuss how we can help this misfortune of yours.

You're already here, poor boy. You forestalled me, silly one.

I though you were still working

and punishing your mules for disobedience.

What's the matter? Why are you holding me so sheepishly?

Countess! What a great honour!

What's the matter?

Why are you so courteous?

My courteousness is due to my loyalty.

I'm in love with another, and the loyalty of a knight

allows me only a fatherly embrace.

I'm sorry, Senor, I got the wrong bed!

Do not leave, Senora.

After all the blows I received,

the touch of your hand feels so pleasant,

so delightful.

Loyalty makes me look like a simpleton, and yet...

After malice and ingratitude,

there's affection and grace.

Don't leave, I beg you.

I'm forever alone.

Alone against all.

Don't leave.

I'm not leaving.

You strumpet!

Fire! We're on fire!

Don't touch the senor!

Don't touch the senor! Go away!

She's yelling like a highbred one.

Go away!

Go away!

Why have you gone so beastly?

He's like a child! He's so kind-hearted!

Sancho! Sancho!

Now you see what noble blood means?

The daughter of the Count was fighting for me like a knight!

Your worship, she's not the daughter of the Count, she's a laundress.

- So you too? - Good God, what me too?

You too have been charmed by the accursed Friston.

Come to, this castle is enchanted.

Do you hear it? The whispering, the rustling.

The devilish giggling.

Watch out, Friston!

Onward. Not a step back.

I don't believe it, senors!

I don't believe the evil magician.

I see, I see that you're splendid people!

I see, I see that you're splendid, noble people.

And I ardently...

I ardently love you.

It's the most difficult deed for a knight - to see,

to see human faces under the masks

that Friston has pulled on you!

And I will see! I will see! I will rise above it!

There you are, the accursed ones.

Stop laughing at my exploits!

You still laughing? Then you shall die!

What an amazing person our senor is!

When he was battered and hurt on the high road, he was in good health.

- As he was brought home, he got ill. - It is as well, he'll grow quieter.

He opened his eyes.

Let us not disturb the learned bachelor.

Senor.

Do you recognize me?

You...

Samson Carrasco.

The son of Bartholomew Carrasco from our village.

You're a student.

While you've been ill, I returned from Salamanca as bachelor.

Congratulations.

You may congratulate yourself too, Senor.

I came back stuffed with latest medical discoveries,

like a leg of lamb with garlic.

And so you took to tending me?

Yes, at the request of your niece, Senor Quixano.

Can you imagine?

That ignoramus, the barber, had you bled on Mondays,

whereas science has proved

that it should be done only on Thursdays.

There, you're quite well now.

The thickness of blood has gone,

therefore, your reasoning is sane.

Well, you're not going to leave home now.

I am, as soon as I'm strong enough.

Senor!

Procrastination endangers the whole mankind.

Senor, listen to the man who has a degree in science.

The time of knight-errantry is history!

It's gone, exhausted itself!

Dead! Disappeared!

The new time has come, Senor. It's 1605. Can you imagine?

This year,

as the last, and the year before it,

as a hundred years ago,

the wretched are calling for help

and the lucky ones stop their ears.

And only we, knights-errant...

And how many are there of you?

It's not my duty to count. My duty is to fight.

I won't let you go.

Science's latest achievements demand that the patients be treated harshly.

And I will save the good Senor Quixano from the insane Don Quixote!

Sancho, I can't wait any longer.

I will go mad if we don't set out soon.

I understand you, Senor.

A low boor, fat and lazy, as I am,

but with the spring coming in, I, too, pine for adventures.

Every day, it's just the same thing.

Want and poverty keeps hitting in the same place.

True, while on the road we got whacks too, but those were in different spots.

I don't know if it's sorcery...

or just my conscience.

But every night the wretched souls call me to aid them.

They must have it very hard.

Tomorrow at dawn,

pass by my gate as though by chance.

Yes, Senor.

Knight...

Who is it?

I'm a poor old man driven from my home for debts.

Tonight I sleep in a dog's kennel.

And there's no one to stand up for me.

Who is it weeping?

Senor Knight, my fiance went to town for the wedding rings,

and an old pimp is breaking into my room.

They will sell me, O Knight!

O Knight, we've been sold to a cannibal.

But we're so skinny that he won't eat us,

but makes us work.

Help us!

Knight, save us!

Unjustly convicted, we remind you, who are free.

We're in fetters, you hear? You're free, we're in fetters.

Do you hear? You're free, we're in fetters.

I'm coming, Rocinante.

You're stubborn, Senor. And so am I.

- Alarm! - Let go!

Science won't allow it, Senor. Alarm!

Don't ruin my life, Uncle!

Senor, come home!

Where are you going at your age? The morning is so cold.

I'll give you some warm milk.

There, let's go.

That's it, we're not going in there.

We can manage giants alright,

but not our own kind...

What are you waiting for, a miracle? There cannot be miracles in 1605.

Where does that man live, what's his name...

the renowned knight Don Quixote of La Mancha?

Come here, brothers!

He lives here. You're just in time.

If there's need to right any wrong,

fight with magicians or giants,

we're at your service, we've been idle for too long.

We'll rush at the enemy at full speed!

Wait! You'd better take a pail and water my horse!

Are you Don Quixote of La Mancha, Senor?

Yes, I am, Senor.

That...

Damn, I mean...

The beautiful senora, who is in love with you,

asks for the honour of being admitted to your... castle.

- What shall I tell her? - Show her in.

Blow the trumpet, fool!

This must be Dulcinea del Toboso!

Did you come to have a laugh at me?

So far it's no laughing matter. The road to your village is horrible.

Well, let's forget it.

Love can push a woman even onto a worse path.

Senor, I told our Duke about your valour and your loyalty.

Wishing to see the famous knight with his own eyes,

he sent me for you.

He waits for you at the castle!

In the name of Heaven!

We did a bloodletting to him only mo days ago!

The Duke's wish is the law!

Senor Don Quixote, we're waiting for your reply!

We're going.

Stop crying, Senorita.

Wherever they've taken him, I'll bring him back home.

We used to pull even more intricate tricks in Salamanca.

Hey, carrier, whose cart is it and what are you carrying in it?

It is my cart, Senora.

I'm carrying a cage with a lion that Governor of Oriana

is sending to his majesty the King.

- Take the mats off! - Yes, Senora.

What a splendid beast!

Show us your valour, Senor, have a fight with the lion.

What are you doing, Senora?

Knights should not be egged on, but pacified.

Do not fear, village bumpkin, I know men better than you.

They're brave and ardent with ladies, yet the lion's claws sober them up.

What, my noble friend?

You feel lonesome in Spain? I do, too.

We understand each other,

but ill fate makes us fight to death.

What?

Oh, thank you, I'm cured now.

But lately I've been thinking as I lay ailing.

Tying to solve a problem, a schoolboy makes many mistakes.

He writes, then erases it, and writes again,

until he gets the right answer.

That's how I accomplished my deeds.

But most important... not to hide sheepishly in the corner.

One deed after another, and the world is changed!

Well, come on out, let's fight.

Let that spoiled woman know

that there's valour and gallantry in the world, and she'll grow wiser.

Do not insist, Senor! The lion knows better.

Even Doomsday won't make that lady wiser. She doesn't care for our deeds!

Hey, brave men!

There's no more danger!

And from now on the Knight of the Rueful Countenance

will have one more name - the Knight of Lions!

The affairs of the state have tired us.

Now is the time for carefree merriment.

What shall we amuse ourselves with?

With an old gallant fool

who believes that there's justice in the world.

Is Don Quixote of La Mancha ready for an audience?

Quite ready, Your Highness.

Perhaps he should be excited somewhat more?

Your Highness, his old-fashioned virtues

are always in readiness, like the strings of a harp.

Just touch them, and they'll play.

Many a brave man loses his head when approaching the throne.

Won't he be frightened?

Don Quixote is forever Don Quixote.

That's what is particularly funny, Your Highness.

It's interesting.

The courtiers may come in.

Give me a gold crown, or I'll open your Don Quixote's eyes.

Are you afraid of a new jester?

I'm not afraid of a new jester, for there're no new jokes in the world.

There're jokes about digestion, there're hints at vices,

there's some rudeness about women's tricks. That's all.

Don Quixote of La Mancha

and his esquire Sancho Panza.

He's charming.

And looking as innocent as a little girl.

I'm proud of the honour you did me, gallant knight.

Senoras, entertain our guests.

Is something worrying you, Senor?

- Yes, Madame. - Can I help you?

Of course, Madame. Take my ass to the stable.

Sancho!

Senor, I left my Dapple in the middle of the yard.

Those courtiers are darting about, and once he was stolen already.

Don't worry, good Sancho, I'll take care of your ass.

Thank you, your worship, only grab him at once by the bridle,

don't approach him on the side of his tail, or he'll kick you.

I'll kill you!

Oh, no! Do not deprive us of such a simple-hearted guest.

Have a seat, knight.

Fighting magicians and giants

must have wearied you.

Oh no, your Highness.

It's tiresome to sit and do nothing

when the roads of Spain are full of beggars and the villages are deserted.

One feels restful only when fighting.

You must have saved many from poverty and misfortune?

No, not enough, your Highness.

But, God is my witness, I tried to do my best.

My dear knight, forget about roads and villages.

Now you're in a castle and surrounded by friends.

You'd better tell us why you didn't reciprocate

the beautiful Altisidora's feelings?

My heart belongs forever to Dulcinea del Toboso.

We sent our men to Toboso,

but we have not found Dulcinea there.

Does she exist at all?

She's been enchanted.

And no one, except myself, knows

how beautiful she is,

and how unhappy.

Your Highness, that Don Quixote

is not so crazed as he appears.

You're encouraging the insolent man

and his sinful inventions.

Who's knocked the notion into your head

that you're a knight-errant?

How on earth could you find giants in your pitiful La Mancha

which can't even feed a dwarf?

Who allowed you to roam the world,

confusing with your fantasies simple- minded people

and making the judicious ones laugh?

Go back home at once

and don't mix up in the matters you don't understand!

What can you know, monk,

of matters outside your chapel?

Step out into the world and look about you.

Those who seek power climb up over dead bodies,

like over stairs.

The greedy kill for a farthing.

The slanderers sting their kindred like vipers.

I wanted only one thing:

To do good to everybody

and wrong no one.

And it is me whom you're reviling.

For shame, monk!

Thank you, knight.

Your honesty is very refreshing.

Sancho.

I hear you want to be governor.

Who told you, your Highness?

You hit in the very apple, as though you looked in a crystal ball.

I would want very much to get in a governor's seat.

Choose an island for Sancho Panza.

Yes, we'll do it, Your Highness.

I will personally show you to the quarters prepared for you.

Let's go, Senor Knight, and you, Senor Governor.

Well? Your case looks sorry.

My fool will out-fool all fools of Spain!

You're wrong! This stranger is no fool.

He's not joking. He won't be here long, among you fools.

Do you want me to surprise you, Senor Client?

Please do, Senor Master.

- I know where you got this armour. - Where?

You were given it by your comrade, a student from Salamanca,

who won it at dice from a priest

collecting antiquities.

- Did I guess it right? - You did, Master!

Yet it doesn't make sense to me

what you, a bachelor, might need a knight's armour for?

The carnival's still a way to come.

Each day is a carnival for a jolly man.

Where're all these people hurrying?

To the town square. The governor's arriving today.

- The governor? To our village? - Barataria is not a village.

- What is it, then? - An island.

Yes. You came here by land, but it doesn't mean anything.

You don't know our Duke.

He ordered that our village be considered an island.

That's how it will be, then.

Now I know your Duke.

Halt, brothers! What happened?

We'll tell you only for money!

The governor's coming. Some news!

- What's he riding on? - A steed.

In a carriage?

On a litter?

- Do not answer! - He wants to know it for free.

Come on, brothers!

What's the governor's name?

Senor Sancho Panza.

Sancho Panza?! Hurry, to the square!

Just look at that governor!

That's some governor!

A governor riding on an ass!

Imagine, on an ass!

Thank you, brothers!

It's bad when people meet their governor with tears.

But you're laughing, it means you're happy to see me.

When a governor sits on an ass, it's funny.

But when an ass gets in a governor's seat,

it's no fun.

I'll explain why I'm on an ass. Because he's not tall.

If I were on a horse, I might have not heard your complaints.

And riding on an ass is the same as walking on foot.

Here I am, here's the earth, and there you are, my dear subjects.

Justice!

I demand justice!

If you don't help me,

I'll go as high as the Duke, as the King himself!

And if they refuse me, I'll get up to the Heaven!

Hush, woman! Say it bluntly, what's the matter?

I can't say it bluntly, Senor.

My woman's modesty won't let me to.

Then approach me and whisper it into my ear.

With great pleasure, Senor Governor.

By force?

You scoundrel!

Hey, shepherd, you offended this woman, didn't you? Confess!

No, your worship, it was all from her side.

On my side, it was only politeness.

Sit down! We're going to settle this dispute.

Your worship, I was walking on the road.

Then I turned to the right, for the senora had called me.

And, of course, the Satan had immediately meddled in.

He's lying, your worship!

Whoa! Wait!

Everything was peaceful and quiet,

until I guess it was the devil who prompted me to boast

that I had sold those... four pigs.

And the senora demanded

that I gave her the purse with all my money.

And I say to her: "What is it? A new tax?"

And she says, "Give it to me, dolt, or I'll put you to shame."

Quiet! Quiet!

Everything's clear.

Let me think.

Shepherd.

Give the purse to this woman.

Now, shepherd, run after her and take the money.

Your worship! Your worship!

This scoundrel tried to take by force the purse you've awarded to me.

Did he succeed?

No way!

He would have sooner taken my life than the purse!

Neither tongs, nor hammers,

nor the lion's claws,

nothing in the world can make me part with a purse.

I'd rather part with my soul than a purse!

Show me the purse, honourable woman.

Here it is, Senor Governor.

Take it, shepherd.

Stand still! Gotcha, dear lady.

Had you defended your honour with at least half the energy

you displayed saving the purse,

even a giant wouldn't have been equal to the task.

God be with you or, rather, go to the devil and don't stop.

Out of my island! Hurry, hurry! Run, run!

Run, you shameless wench!

Long live the Governor!

You're hailing me, aren't you?

So you understand that my judgment was fair?

We do.

So you see the difference between truth and lies?

We do.

And if you understand and see the difference,

why aren't you living by truth and justice?

Oh, it won't be an easy task to bring you back to human form.

And the main problem is that if I ordered to flog you all,

there'd be many who wished to help me.

But if I had ordered to caress and encourage you,

there would be no one to do it.

Thank you, thank you, brothers.

It's all for today.

Though I'm a governor, I still feel sleepy like a commoner.

Go and do your chores. Goodbye.

That way?

Oh, Senor, Senor...

Of late I've got used to share with you

all the cares and misfortunes.

My dear Senor!

Don Quixote of La Mancha!

Where are you?

Oh, Sancho, Sancho, it's hard for me to do without you.

I dropped a needle and I can't find the accursed thing.

My stocking is torn.

And the beautiful Altisidora insisted

that I appear before her at dawn.

I want to tell her again when I come:

"I'll remain faithful to Dulcinea del Toboso till my dying day."

But I can't pronounce those noble words with a hole in my stocking.

O poverty, poverty...

I found it! I found it!

I found it, Sancho. I'm saved from disgrace, you hear?

Excellent.

Has someone died in the castle?

- Where's your mistress? - In a coffin.

What did she die of?

Of love for you, knight.

Forgive me, O beautiful Altisidora!

I wasn't aware that you've honoured me with love

of such a great passion.

It's a pity that I cannot

challenge death to a duel.

I would have gladly fought with it

and forced it to correct this cruel injustice.

I would have made it take my life

instead of yours, so young.

At least one thing may be of solace to you,

that the true love is immortal.

I'm so heart-broken, as though I'm buying a child.

But God is my witness, I couldn't do otherwise.

I have only one lady of the heart. This is the law of chivalry.

So you, Don Dried-Up Fish,

really believed that I died because of you?

Don Old Stump,

the crushed and defeated to shreds Don.

How dared you to imagine

that a woman like me

could fall in love with you?

Don Camel.

Don't be angry, Senor... Don Quixote.

This is just a joke.

Comedy.

Like everything in this world.

For you, too, proved to be a great master of the trade.

You've persuaded us, beyond any doubt,

that virtuous deeds are ridiculous,

faithfulness is amusing,

and love

is just a whim of inflamed imagination.

- What is it? - Money.

Take it, knight, you have deserved that award.

Allow me to leave this castle, Your Highness.

Don Madman.

Hey, Friston, stop exulting behind my back.

I will find you today and we'll have a deadly fight!

Sancho! Sancho!

Sancho!

Where are you, Sancho?

Don Quixote has left the castle, no withstanding the Duke's requests.

Your orders are to terminate in good spirit the joke with the island.

- In good spirit? - In good spirit.

What?

Hordes of soldiers have invaded the island!

- Where are my soldiers? - Engaged in battle!

Follow me! Forward! Follow me!

Where are my soldiers?

Enough.

All right.

I'm going.

A peasant will always find what to do.

But where will you go, majordomo,

when they kick you out of service?

What can you do, you sponger?

Lickspittle!

Keep back!

Oh, Dapple, Dapple...

Happy were the days when I only cared about

fixing your halter and filling up your belly.

I wish my poor senor had never taught me

to care about humans.

It always comes to the lucky ones whacking you

and the luckless remaining with their misfortunes.

Senor!

My dear father! My only son!

I'm here! You found me!

I've given up that accursed governorship!

Senor! Senor!

Enough, Sancho. You should rejoice, not weep.

We've broken free at last.

Freedom is the ultimate gift sent us by Heaven!

For the sake of freedom, you even may, and you must risk your life.

And slavery and captivity are the worst of misfortunes.

Mount, Sancho!

Friston is out there. We'll slay him and free the entire world!

Onward! And not a step back!

- There you are! - Who, your worship?

Friston is standing on the hillock, waving his long arms!

Your worship, it's a windmill.

Charge!

Senor!

I'm telling you that I believe in people!

Those masks you pulled on their kind faces will not deceive me!

And I also believe in knightly gallantry!

But I'll never believe you, villain, however hard you might swirl me!

And I can see, I can see

that love, loyalty and mercy will conquer all!

Ah, you're squeaking now!

You're squeaking from spite, and I'm laughing at you!

Glory to the people!

May all malicious magicians be dead!

Senor! Are you alive, Senor?

Answer honestly, don't be afraid to upset me, Senor.

It's a miracle!

How true is the saying that a duck won't drown, for a spit awaits it.

You see now that it's a windmill?

This is a windmill, but I was fighting Friston, and he's still alive.

Damn it! They taught a cock to pray, but he's still crowing.

You keep looking for magicians and knights,

but only the ignorant and shameless come your way.

Save for you and me, one won't find in all Spain

a single worthless knight-errant.

Holy May, who is that?

O, valorous knight, I've been waiting for you

to establish with arms in our hands

whose lady of the heart is more beautiful!

Senor! Senor!

You can't fight a sick man.

We've just been engaged in a battle with a windmill.

We're too weak to sit in the saddle.

Hush! The best remedy for a knight is a duel.

Your name?

Knight of the White Moon!

- Are you a Turk? - Shut up, ignoramus.

The Turks have a crescent on their arms, not the moon.

Choose the place, knight, and let us begin.

Surrender, knight!

Dulcinea del Toboso

is the most beautiful woman in the world!

I'll never renounce that truth,

though I'm powerless to defend it.

Thrust in your sword, knight.

May the beauty of Dulcinea del Toboso

blossom in all its glory!

I have only one demand, and that is for the great Don Quixote

to retire to his village for the term I'll designate.

I won and, according to the law of knight-errantry,

you can't refuse me and must obey!

I'm obeying you.

Senor Bachelor!

Bachelor Samson Carrasco at your service.

I won with observance of all the rules.

Let's go home, Senor!

One must live, Senor, as philosophers teach us.

Not to be surprised at anything.

As a middle-aged man should...

What attracted your interest, Senor?

As a middle-aged man should, to maintain a philosophical attitude

in every situation.

Once you achieve a philosophical serenity,

you will have attained a genuine freedom.

Dinner is ready, Senor.

Please, feed a poor goatherd.

Such a delicious smell comes from your pot,

that I sensed it from a distance of 500 steps.

- Andres? - Yes, it's me, Senor.

Andres!

Andres!

Look, Carrasco.

No, it wasn't in vain that I roamed the world fighting!

I saved the boy from flogging, and he didn't forget it,

though so much time has passed since.

You want to ask me something, Andres?

- Yes, Senor. - Speak up, don't be afraid.

Listen, Carrasco.

Senor Knight-Errant!

Please, never again,

never again stand up for me!

You only irritated my master, and then you left.

And after that, my master had beaten me so severely

that since then I've been dreaming only of being chastised.

May the Lord punish your worship and all the knights in the world!

That's all, Senors.

You may remember me as you wish,

as your soul would bid you.

I may even not remain in your memory

as Don Quixote of La Mancha.

So be it.

But don't forget the poor hidalgo

Alonso Quixano,

called the Good.

And now, please, leave me.

Let me sleep.

His pulse is normal, there's no danger.

I made Senor Quixano

come back home, not to let him die,

but let him live like everybody else.

And that's what I don't know how to do.

Don't cy, Senorita.

Though I've been crying from morning till night myself.

He was so kind to me!

I wish Dulcinea del Toboso could come here!

They say love works miracles.

Senor!

Senor!

Do not leave me.

Who is calling me?

It's me, Dulcinea del Toboso.

Thank you, Senora,

for appearing in my dream before I die.

I forbid you to die, Senor.

Do you hear?

You must obey the lady of your heart!

I...

You're tired, aren't you?

And what about me?

What about us?

Senor, my dear, please don't die, you can't.

Do not leave us, please.

Oh, please don't die...

Your worship.

Heed my advice and go on living.

No one did kill you, right?

It was only grief. And she's just a woman.

Send her packing,

and let us go around the world, roaming woods and plains.

Senor.

Say to me at least one word in your knightly language,

and you'll make me the happiest man in the world.

Fighting tirelessly,

we will live up, Sancho,

to see the golden age.

Justice will destroy greed and partiality.

Onward! Onward!

Not a step back!

The End