All language subtitles for Breakfast with Scot (2007)

- Leafs are the best!
- Go Maple Leafs!

Go Leafs go!

Yeah, Maple Leafs!

Win the cup!

Yeah!

Welcome contest winners!

Get ready for the Toronto Maple
Leafs blue and white game!

Maple Leafs...

Come on out and meet the kids.

Hey.

- High five, buddy.
- McNally!

McNally! McNally!

You're my hero.

Come on, McNally.

Head in front.
- Come on skate, skate in!

Who's on McNally?!

Keep your eyes open, guys!

It's a practice!

McNally, it's a practice.

You suck, McNally.
You suck. You suck.

Heads up!

McNally, you suck.
You suck, McNally. You suck.

McNally you suck...

Will the team keep together
a back line tandem borrowed

from the Peterborough Petes
and les Ramparts de Quebec?

And the final question: can the
Canadian Juniors get one for the thumb?

Tomorrow we'll look at the big boys. We'll get
their sticks to center ice and divvy 'em up.

We'll give you the Stanley Cup contenders,
the Cup Pretenders and the also-rans.

So whether you like the biscuit upstairs
where grandma keeps the peanut butter

or skate-level where the chips are
thick. Consider us your home rink.

And to all you bruisers with
noses for the corners

remember, you might get hooked and if you
get hooked, you could get a penalty shot.

I'm Eric McNally, thanks for watching
this NHL preview edition of penalty shot.

See you in the blues.

- Clear.
- Good.

Good job, guys.

- Good job, Eric.
- Yeah. Good job, Eric.

Thanks.

Channel 5 just challenged
us to a pick-up game.

You in?
- Sure.

- Only reason I hired you.
- What?

I'm joking.

- Yep, joking.
- Oh.

- Listen, if you wanna get out
from behind that desk,

I'm thinking I'll let you
cover the world juniors.

In Reykjavik?

I'm surprised you know
how to say Reykjavik.

More reason to learn
how to say Reykjavik.

- Alright good, we'll pick 5 players
to follow, maybe 6, interview them here.

You know, the heart-warming
stuff with their families.

Grab some B-roll
of them at practice

and then we'll fly you out to Iceland
to track 'em for the network there.

Who's going to Reykjavik? Huh?

Reykjavik!
- In December yeah, here you go.

- Ah, you don't fool me. You
know what? I'll put in a word.

See if they let me take an
assistant, so I might take you.

- Yeah. I wanted
to be put in news.

I wanted to cover politics,
breaking world issues, I mean...

Why am I in sports?
Is it because I'm pretty?

- All you can do is play hard
for the team that picks you, Nula.

- Oh, and there is someone from your
team in your office here to see you.

Hey.

Nice office.

You got a little teen boy
bedroom thing going on.

Everybody does here.

So uh...

You met everybody here?

- Don't worry, this time I was your
lawyer. I mean, I was your lawyer.

Hm.

What's up?

- Julie died.
- I'm sorry.

Who's Julie?

- She's that girl that my
brother Billy was living with

until a couple years ago.
- Ah.

- We can't find Billy and
there's a chance that he's--

- An asshole?
- No, we know he's an asshole

but...

What are you doing right now?

He's in Brazil.
Isn't he? Brazil.

- Probably why
we can't find him.

- Short of searching the jails and the
alleys, I don't know where else to look.

- Sam and his brother are
not so good at keeping in touch.

- Well we have a problem then seeing
as Billy is Scot's guardian and all.

Who's Scot?

Wait! Billy was working
at a resort somewhere.

Who's Scot?

I mean, assuming he's
managed to keep the job.

Maybe we could track him down that way.

Who's Scot now?

Julie's son.

- Julie's... Julie had a son.
I didn't know that.

And Billy's the dad?
- He's not Scot's dad.

I mean not by birth anyway but--

- According to Julie's
will he is now.

- Billy's not really father
material. He's a loser.

I mean, I don't see her giving
him custody of her son.

And Billy wouldn't take Scot
unless there's money involved.

- I think there's
money involved.

Proof.

This is dated 5 years ago.

- Well, she died of an overdose. I don't
think keeping her personal files updated

was upper-most on her mind.
- Where's Scot now?

Child Services Ottawa.

And he's okay there
until we find Billy?

- We feel,
we being Child Services,

it would be better for the ward
to settle into his permanent home.

Or until we can
find Billy, your home.

What?

Congratulations. You're dads.

- Nope.
- It's only for a few weeks.

No! Kids? You're joking right? No way,
kids, I can't stand the little things.

You knew about this
back in the office.

- I knew it was a possibility.
- Bad call.

'Cause boys that age are nightmares.
And boys any age are nightmares.

Two words: night mares. And I should
know, I grew up playing hockey with 'em.

You know, first thing he
does... He sells our TV.

He's not gonna do that.

- He'll sell our TV and then
he'll drain the liquor cabinet.

He'll be a liquor bag, a booze
hound and then he's gonna wreak havoc

throughout the entire house Sam. Our house!
That you spent all that time fixing up.

And then, after the booze
and the TV, girls. Girls, Sam.

He's gonna drag some poor
girl up here and deflower her.

Right here in our bed with
your fancy 500 count sheets

which we'll never be able to use
again. What if he forms a gang?

What if he has a bad haircut?
- Didn't stop you.

- Stop.
- Breathe.

Our TV isn't going anywhere and I'm
pretty sure nobody gets deflowered anymore.

Look, we have to do this.
It's the right thing to do.

No look,

We don't have to do anything. I've spent
the last 5 years building my life back up,

doctors, physio, to where
I finally like my life again.

I don't want my life to change.
Trust me.

Life as you know it is not gonna change.

Ryan!

Ryan!

Drop the damn stick!

Give it to me to beat you with.

- It's only for
a few weeks.

Mildred.

- Sam asked me
to make up Scot's room.

- They're not coming home 'til
late. I have time. Thanks.

- After George died, you shovelled
my sidewalk, you mowed my lawn.

Christ, 2 months ago you cut
down the tree in my backyard.

Right but I didn't do those
things so you would make a bed.

I can make a bed but thank you.

- And that's all
you're doing?

- Ah, I'll throw in a
couple towels and face...

Things.

Oh, you remember my son?

- Yes, George Junior.
We were at his wedding.

- He's divorced now.
Wasn't that quick?

Where's his room?
Upstairs?

This is where
you're putting him?!

- Alright George,
I'll see...

The boys mother just died

and in that fragile emotional state
you're gonna throw him on that?

- Yeah, it's a mattress.
It's a bed. It's a air bed.

- What we're gonna need: a real bed
with a real bookcase and a real desk.

Yeah. Posters, pictures...

- What's wrong with--
- George.

You think this junk's gonna fit
in your father's old study?

- No, let me stop you right
there, Mildred, okay.

This is not, okay, this is
not junk, I mean, I--

You have a gym membership somewhere?

I have three. Why?

Mildred. Mildred!

No. Mildred.

Mildred.

- Toronto picks up
the puck sending it down...

Still looking for an opening.

Puck passed up the zone
and it goes back into the--

Eric, we're here.

I... Oh, uh...
We just made it.

Scot, this is Eric.

- Nice to meet
you, Scot.

- Nice to meet
you, Eric.

It's hand cream.

- It's called Pink Gardenia.
I have the bath splash too.

Yeah, it was his mother's.

- Oh, was it?
Was it your mom's? That's...

What is that?
- It's a charm bracelet.

- Again, Julie's.
- Right.

What are you... Would you like
a... You must be hungry.

Do you want something
to eat in the kitchen?

We have... I'll make
you a turkey sandwich or...

Peanut butter. Kids like
peanut butter. Or pop!

Do want a pop? Do you want
a root beer, a Pepsi?

Ginger ale? Mountaindew?
Uh, juice! Juice?

We have uh, would you like to...
We have some pear juice.

It's kind of a fancy pear juice
that Sam brings into the...

The... I'm watching the Leafs.
Maybe, you wanna watch hockey?

I only like musicals.

- Okay, Scot, why don't
I take you upstairs?

- Yeah, that's great. Yeah, take him
upstairs. Show him his new bedroom.

New bedroom?

You know what? Wait one second
while I uh... Scot.

Wow!

Wow!

I uh... I haven't seen your room
since Eric fixed it up for ya.

- What do you think?
- Who's that?

- Wayne Gretzky.
- Who's that?

Wayne Gretzky.

I'd like to go to bed now.

- Okay, you don't need anything from
your um, from your bags downstairs?

- No, I think I have all my
necessary toiletries in here.

Okay.

Well, bathroom is downstairs
on the second floor

and we're just opposite
if you need anything.

- Sam?
- Yeah.

- How long do you think
I'm going to be here for?

- I called Billy.
I left a message.

And I think by the time
he flies up here, maybe...

Couple of weeks.

Well, I guess...

Goodnight.

- What's gardenia?
- It's a kind of flower.

- What's he doing
with hand cream?

- # It's the most
wonderful time of the year #

# With kids jingle-belling
and everyone yelling #

# To be of good cheer #

# It's the most wonderful time #

# Of the year #

- You know, Child Services had him
sitting by himself in a hallway.

Didn't remember me.

It's no surprise. I think
he was 7 last time I saw him.

Everything he owns is
in those trash bags.

Clothes are dirty.

Nobody washed 'em.
- Well, so you can do that.

Wash clothes.

He doesn't have
gloves or a proper coat.

So you go shopping.

- He's missed a month of school.
- You can enrol him tomorrow.

While you're at it book an
orthodontist appointment for...

Look Sammy, you want to
be worried about anything,

worry that the kid's upstairs
singing Christmas carols.

In October,
to himself, by himself.

- Nobody told him
how his mother died.

- You could chance I'm staying
away from that topic too.

How's he think his mother died?

- Child Services told him
she died in a car accident.

Well look Sammy...

That's Billy's problem. Not
your problem, Billy's problem.

- So he didn't call?
- He didn't call.

- Thank you.
- For what?

- For Scot's room.
- Don't thank me. Thank Mildred.

And the team of
archaeologist that unearthed it.

- # It's the hap-happiest
season of all #

# With those holiday greetings #

# And gay happy meetings #

# When friends come to call #

# It's the most
wonderful season of all #

Hi. What are you doing?

- Hey Ryan, calm down.
- Let me go!

- What's going on?
- Uh Eric, a little help here.

- Yeah that's right. Call your
other faggot, faggot.

- He was going to kill me!
- Give me my car lock!

- Eric, violent child over here.
- That's it.

- Let me go! Put me down.
- You forgot to say faggot.

- Alls I was doing was hitting
apples with the car lock.

He's the one that came out talking
weird. "What are you doing?"

Hitting apples.
"Why are you doing that?"

Cause there's nothing to do.
"Why don't you eat them?"

Who eats apples?! And then he
said he wanted to kiss me.

Kiss you?

- You think I'd
make this shit up?

- All I said is I
could kiss him.

- To a kid holding a car lock
that's well thought out.

- Hey, Scot come back.
Eat your cereal.

- That is not
a proper breakfast.

- Should I go after him?
- My dad used to just yell.

- Get back here!
You have to eat something!

I am going to need a
helmet and chest thingies

and pads like the roller-bladers wear.

- Wait, wait, wait. Pads?!
Wait a minute. What for?

For protection.

- For starters, how about not telling kids with
iron clubs you could kiss 'em. How 'bout that?

Heads up!

You threw pudding?

- Yes! Pudding!
Kids like pudding.

You can make friends with
other kids by uh, you know,

bargaining with them.
No, sharing with them.

- Pudding?
- Okay, not pudding. Uh...

Pop-Tarts, cheese
sticks, Yogos, Oh...

How 'bout these juices with
pictures of dinosaurs on them?

You know, does he even have a
baseball glove or baseball or...

- No. No.
- Football cleats?

- Maybe on
his charm bracelet.

- So, you'd say you're
the primary guardian?

We also require
a secondary contact.

- Oh but you'll call
me first right? Right?

Head got chopped off.

- Eric McNally.
- Oh, and he is your...?

- Can we just
put his name down?

- Huh? Yeah.
Eric...

- She asked me how my mom died, I
told her there was a car accident.

- And now she
has no head.

- Okay class, today we're saying
hello to a new friend:

Scot Latour.

- There's only one T. Everything
kind of stops after that.

Oh, that's neat, okay.

Good, one T. There we go.

Well, that's a very interesting
spelling, Scot.

- But you should know,
my last name...

You spelt that very well.

Thank you, Scot.

- The dying dog tried to stand
but he could only raise his head.

As his trusty friend licked
his hand one last time,

the poor trapper whispered:
good buddy, good dog

and then the noble animal
lay still. He was gone.

- Nicely done, Carla.
Good okay, Scot.

The other dogs...

Didn't understand...

What had happened to...

Their buddy. They gently nudged
his still... Sweet face.

There was no sign of...

- Class, that's enough.
Come on now, class.

Class!

There you go.

All done.
- Thanks Claudia.

- You're welcome.
- Smell that.

Oh, okay,
that's not acceptable.

- It's Pink Gardenia.
It's a hand cream.

Scot, the kid, he was wearing it
last night when he shook my hand.

Now it won't come off.

Two showers it
won't come off.

- So, who is
this kid again?

- Sam's brother's dead
ex-girlfriend's son.

Who's my interview again?

Joe Sakic, about the game last night.

- Sakic,
that bastard.

I didn't even see the second game.
Barely watched to the end of the first.

- Alright, record all
hockey games for Eric.

Don't worry, it's gonna
do for all dads here.

- I'm not a dad.
- Okay mommy.

Sam's nice. He should
come around here more.

- Can we not talk about
Sam, thank you very much.

Then how am I supposed
to tell you that he called?

What?

- I was expecting to see your...
Your Sam.

I'll be here tomorrow.

Well you might want to warn your...

Your Sam that the first day
might've been too much for Scot.

That's normal though right?

It's normal to be a little
overwhelmed isn't it?

- No, I know overwhelmed. This
is a little bit beyond that.

What's he doing?

- Mumbling.
Or he was a minute ago.

- He still won't
stand up though.

Hi, I'm
Joey Morita!

I am captain
of the safety patrol.

You'd know I was on a safety patrol if I
was wearing my safety patrol orange belt.

But we haven't got those in yet.
- They're on order Joey.

- It creates
confusion Ms Patterson.

- Don't sass me
in front of parents.

- No, I'm not a parent and
we're leaving. Scot, stand up.

Stand up Scot.

Scot, stand up.

- Sir? I think you're gonna have
to carry him by his poodle belt.

His...

- I'm dropping out
as soon as I can.

- That's nice.
Scot put your seatbelt on.

Scot, put your seat...
Put your seatbelt on Scot.

Scot we...

My assistant Nula gave me a
present to give to you Scot,

which you can open
if you would just...

- Oh! Stickers!
- Put on your seatbelt.

- I wanna be
Scot's friends sir.

- You'll see him tomorrow.
- It was a pleasure meeting you.

- These are the people
in my life now?

Nobody told me not to!

I can't be available all the time.
The arbitration comes up at random.

- I know. I know.
- It's gonna happen.

Which would be fine Sam if I hadn't mucked
my way through this interview. I'm the new--

- You said I could
decorate however!

Well, we're in this together.

- He, no. No we're not.
- I hate it here!

- Well puppy dogs stickers don't
go on freshly painted antique doors!

Sam...

Billy's brother. Sam,
okay, that's all I'm saying.

Billy's your brother not
mine. And what did you say?

You said my life would not
change. That's what you said, okay.

I didn't want the kid
here in the first place.

Oh, long distance.

Hello?

Little Scoot. Ola.

I'm in Rio. Que tal Buddy.

What?

In South America. I moved here
after me and your mom...

Shit. I'm sorry but I wasn't
gonna mention your mom.

Shit. I wasn't gonna say shit.
What the fuck?

When are you coming to get me?

- Yeah, listen. That's
why I called you bud.

So soon? Maybe tomorrow?
The day after? When?

Listen Scoot, I just wanted to tell
you that like your mom's not really gone.

You know? Um...

'Cause you know we're all interconnected
in the grand cosmic sense of...

Hang on one second.
May I help you?

No, thanks I'm just looking.

Okay. Um...

So how was the funeral? Hello?

Hello?

Nicely done Billy.
Will you go after him?

What Sammy?
What are you doing?

I'm talking to Scot.

- I don't know what
Billy... Billy is a...

He's in...

Listen, the other stuff... Sam
yelling about the stickers...

See he likes
things a certain way.

No clothes on the bathroom floor
or the bedroom floor.

No clothes on the... On the...

Is that a picture of your mom?

I'll take it down.

No, no. Leave it up.

Good, well you probably
have some homework.

I already did it.

Eric?

- Yeah.
- Can we go shopping?

- No, I don't...
I don't do shopping.

I don't have to... I mean, I get my
clothes at work. Sam buys everything else.

Groceries, everything.
Sam's a shopper.

- I'll stay here then.
- Okay, good.

Good choice.

# Hark the herald
angels sing #

# Glory to the newborn king #

# Peace on Earth and-- #

- Sam says you need a new coat but
we gotta be back in an hour alright?

- I'm going to look for shoes okay?!
- When's Billy coming?

He almost wasn't.

He wanted to dump Scot back at Child Services
until I told him about the insurance money.

- Uh-huh, and now?
- He's warming to the idea.

He's probably out spending the
insurance money as we speak.

- How big of him.
- How goes the coat search?

I don't know. Ask Boy George.

Call you back.

Scot!

- And now when people come to claim their
things, they'll know you took good care of them.

- What are you?
- Hey Eric!

Where have you been? We've been looking
all over for you. Don't run away like that.

I'm sorry.

- I'm so sorry.
- What'd he do?

Nothing. About your wife.

My wife?

To die in a car accident
in such a horrible way.

No, no I'm not his dad.

He's Eric. He's gay.

I'm n... I'm not. No I'm a...

Him and Sam are married.

- We're not even.
We're not even married.

- They're just gay together.
- You know what actually?

Here's what we're gonna do. We're gonna go,
thank you very much. Thanks for all your...

Time.

Tell me your mother taught
you never to talk to strangers.

I didn't.

- You told the security guards
your life story, then you told

the security guards my life
story. Unbelievable!

- He asked me where my mother was and if
there was a number he can call to find her.

- Okay, look I
don't want you...

Are you?
Oh don't do that. Don't cry.

Look, I just don't want you telling
people about... My private life is private.

I work in sports, okay,
and some of the guys I talk to

wouldn't be so quick to talk to
me if they knew that I was a...

That I'm a... Yeah,
I'm glad we had this talk.

Will you just pick something
out? We can get outta here.

Everything's named
after a sports team.

My God.

- Or made out of vinyl
- Come with me.

No. No...

What is that?

What about this one?

- Don't you find it
a little plain?

- Will you please just try it on?
- Fine.

But I'm telling you, if I don't
like this one I am definitely...

Oh, Eric! Look at how it hangs!

- Who's in charge
of the sissy?

- Did you just call me a sissy?
- You're Eric McNally.

You played for the Leafs. You were a great
fighter 'til you got injured in that practice.

Now you're on TV, so...

- I'm still
a decent fighter.

When you're out in public,
watch the twirling okay?

Will you please
just pick a frame?

Ooooh!

- Hey your
sister called.

She wants to know
if we can go out Friday.

- That'd be a no.
As a matter of fact...

I'll never be leaving
this house again.

- The mall was that traumatic?
- Not the mall.

- Which one do you think goes
better with my coat?

This one? Or this one?

Morning Eric.

Holy crap.

- It's a T, like the one
off the end of my name.

Have a pancake.

- I used to make them
for my mom that way.

If you want
I can pour your syrup.

- No thanks.
I'm good. I'm good.

Hi Carla!

- Hi Scot.
- Shhhh...

- Hi Scot.
- Hi Joey.

I'm here for library class.

- You're kind of late
for library class.

As student librarian
it's my duty to tell you that.

- Do you have any books on
Brazil? Maybe for someone

who's going to live there.
- Like maybe you?

Maybe.

Probably,
I don't know.

- I really like your coat, Scot.
- Yeah, me too.

- Everything I'm
wearing's brand new!

- You know how some people say
gay people shouldn't adopt?

You know that we're recruiting.
- Are you?

'Cause I'd have to tell
those people if you were.

- Ah-ha-ha.
You see I'm...

I'm not worried about making Scot
gay, I'm worried about him making me...

- Eric, you are gay.
Gay, gay, gay...

- Yeah, thank you. I know
to my friends and family.

Yeah I'm g-etting
older I just...

# Getting older #
Ha!

Aren't we all? Those people don't
know what it's like to play pro.

You know, the achey back
and the achey cheeks--

Hey Greg.

How you doing?

Eric, how are those
interviews coming along?

- Great. Just
great. Yeah.

Start next week with
Corey Flannery. Hot. Hot.

Start?

Hi! Can I take your coat?

Well, you must be Scot.

Hello Sam!
- Hello!

And that is your uncle Eric.

Do you remember your uncle Eric?
- No.

- Can I offer
you a drink Joan?

Um-hm.

- The glasses are frosted.
- Scot's a better host than I.

You don't know the half of it. Why don't
you take Hank upstairs and show him your room?

Doesn't Sam need
help with the pouring?

Now, upstairs.

Please.

As far as we know the kid's big on hand cream,
Christmas carols, stickers on antique doors,

that his mother taught him how
to make alphabet pancakes...

Monsieur.

But not so much about
being a boy. He's been running

around here like it's a Halloween parade.
What's he gonna wanna be for Halloween?

- Wow. You sound like a parent.
- Don't. Don't say that.

Don't say that.

Parents bore people by
talking about their children.

Sorry.

And then apologize for it afterwards.

- You think you're so smart.
- Fear not gentlemen...

I have more at home.

The Wonder of Boys.

- The book we
should've given dad.

One, two, three!

# Oh my gosh
I think I need a manicure #

# The sun I swear #

# It's bushing out
my girly hair #

# One two three four #

# I don't know what
you ignore not me #

# Go Mad Dogs! #

Holy shit.

- We were trying to do the jump
splits. It's really hard.

- No, no, no. Take all that stuff...
Take the, whatever that is...

Take all that stuff off, Scot.
- They're just playing, Eric.

- This is an inappropriate game.
Take that, take it off, Scot.

- Maybe Scot could go as a
cheerleader for Halloween.

- Joan do you want your son
parading around like that?

- It'd be too cold.
I don't have leggings.

Take that stuff off, Scot.

Eric, Scot can dress up
however he wants to dress up

and play whatever game
he wants to play. It's alright.

No, not like this. No.

- Hey!
- Eric!

Really, we were only
trying to do the splits.

Do you want a little tip Scot?

Put a pair of washcloths under your
feet next time you're in the bathroom.

And then hang onto the counter
'cause you slide down really slowly.

Thanks,
that's a good tip.

Sam dressed me up as a hobo.
I don't wanna be a hobo.

Hobo is easy.
Hobo takes no effort.

My mom dresses me up
like a hobo every year.

- Ow... You said
this would help.

- Life is not all
it should be right now.

- You know what'd
give it sparkle?

- Dmitri Wodlowski,
Eric McNally.

- Hey, it's good to meet you eh... Still
slamming them around like you used to?

- No, it's beer league hockey for
me. Enjoy the young legs while you...

Oh.

Sorry, Dmitri. So...

- Um, well you know, ever since
I was a little boy

I watched you bank more penalty
as a rookie than--

Ha!

Sorry, excuse me.
Sorry. You were saying?

- No, it's... You were a great
fighter. It's uh...

Was that Good King Wenceslas?

I don't think so.

Excuse me.

Hello?!

I'm sorry. Who?

- Ah, Scot's teacher has
asked for a private meeting

between you and your Sam
at Thursday's open house.

A meeting? Already?

- People tend
to come around 7.

Ah, terrific.

- Oh, I forgot!
Semi-finals are today.

- Tone it down, Scot.
- Go Mad Dogs!

Alright, okay.

I thought Sam sent you
to school as a hobo.

- I am a hobo.
A pretty hobo.

- Where'd you get the makeup?
- It was my mom's.

- Just 'cause your mom had makeup
doesn't mean you have to wear it, Scot.

I should be able to wear it.
Mrs. Patterson says it's a double-standard.

That boys should be able to wear
makeup too, you know!

- Someone ought to take away
Ms Patterson's makeup

and did you change
the ring-tone on my cellphone?

- Don't you
find it festive?

- I think Scot
might be gay.

- What was your
first clue?

- No, I know. But I think
he might really be gay.

Gay. Gay.

The good news: I'm pretty sure
he was gay before he got here.

- How is that
good news?

- We're in the
clear on this.

Okay, uh...

Fine, Scot's gay.

Or at least he has
gay tendencies.

I knew I was gay when I was
his age and I turned out fine.

Yeah Sam, you turned out fine.

Yes, more than fine.
But...

Did you walk down the hallways of your
public school in full blown makeup?

- # Soon be there #
- You have a lovely voice.

- Did you prance through the varsity
basketball team screaming "Go Panthers", huh?

I mean, this kid has
no idea how to behave.

None. I'm talking self-
preservation here, Sam.

Well, he'll learn.

When? When will he learn?

And you did not see the looks on these
kids' faces, Sam. It was humiliating.

For him or for you?

'Lo.

- Sammy. Que pasa? What's up?
- What's up? Scot's up.

When are you coming
up to pick him up?

- Give him to me.
- Sammy listen.

Right now I got a lot
happening right now.

What with the closing of
the, the shop and everything.

- You have a shop?!
- Had a shop. Dive shop.

But you know, like, Latinos are
not big on flippers and shit,

so... I need more time, okay?

That's what I need 'cause right
now I have some very recent

uh, developments,
prospects that are happening.

Very, very recent prospects.
- Billy.

- Sam, you're breaking up.
Can you hear...

Billy!

You work. I work. Neither of us can
be around to supervise him all the time.

- I shouldn't have to deal with him at all.
- You don't. I get him up.

I put him to bed and the fridge,
you see how fast that thing empties?

Whose fault is that? I didn't
want him here in the first place.

- The makeup, the jewellery he's
wearing is all his mother's.

He's in a phase of mourning.
- We can deal with that--

It's a phase you better
pull him out of Sam and fast.

You can't pull someone out

of a phase that's why
they call it a phase.

En! No such word as can't.

You cannot pull
someone out of a phase?

No such word as can't.

It's a sports expression.

Sports expression.

Would you like my advice?

- Please.
- Okay, so Scot reads a lot.

Right, which is excellent.

But no television?

Eric, watches television. He
watches the television for all of us.

- It's my job. I work in TV.
- Right, I know.

Okay, so here at Stinson school, we like to
encourage the children to be active viewers.

One of the positives
that television provides

is that it presents more
uh, traditional role models.

Heroes...

That the kids can
really look up to.

- So, you want him
to watch more TV?

- To find better
role models?

No. Not better. Other.

To add to the two fine ones
he already has.

Do you wanna make a complaint?
'Cause that'll make him popular.

- Well, I guess there's
always private school.

- I thought the idea was
to make him less gay.

- Stop it you guys.
- Hey Scot, you ready to go?

We're trying to make Carla throw up.

I hardly do it at all anymore!

Good for you.

Oh hi Andrea, you
here for Ms Paul too?

- Ryan's failing everything.
- Not gym.

- Everything except gym.
- Stop!

You want my advice?

You're freaks. Why
would I want freak advice?

When you go in, don't get mad or yell. Act
really sorry that you're not very smart.

She'll probably
feel sorry for you.

I know I would.
- Fuck it!

Okay, that's good with the advice,
Scot. Say goodnight. Let's go.

Goodnight, Carla.
Goodnight, Joey.

- Whoa! Don't you touch me.
- Hey get him off!

- Hey, hey, hey that's enough.
- I'm gonna be...

- Oh. Ah...
We need to do something.

There's a hierarchy of gestures

specifically
the affectionate kind.

- He's a kid
Samuel, not a client.

- There's the handshake,
the shoulder punch...

There's a high-five.

Which is really not so
much affectionate as nerdy.

Then we get into the hugs.

There's the
short hug/pat on the back.

Then there's the long hug which
is really the short hug times 3.

So, kissing...?

What about kissing?

He wants to know about kissing.

About the hierarchy of kissing,
specifically the affectionate kind.

I just want you to understand
we're not throwing anything away.

We're putting it
away for a little while.

- Is that a...?
- It's a toolbox.

- For tools, not for cosmetics
and fine jewellery.

This is everything?

I'm not talking to
you, either of you.

- Hey you know what?
We can... We can...

Pad the box with sort of a soft
cottony cushion. How 'bout that?

Sam?

Hey alright, you know what?
I'm gonna let you pack this up.

This is all for the best.

- I'm gonna trust
you on that one.

Hey.

Scot? I see you breathing.

Scot you wanna come
downstairs and have...

Some breakfast, make
some pancakes or uh...

Watch some cartoons?

Saturday morning cartoons?

I'm going to get groceries.

- This doesn't mean
I like you again.

Boys shave their faces?
- Yeah.

- Do they shave anyplace else?
###

- Sometimes.
- The legular region?

The legu...?

Ah, no. Scot, no.

Well, athletes.
Only athletes.

You're an athlete.

- Yeah, which is why I can say
don't do it. It grows back.

Very painfully.

You would not believe
how much it itches.

It's not funny.

- Kids think I'm gay.
- Really?

That's a shock.

You know what
gay is right?

- It means they don't like me.
- It doesn't mean that.

- They don't like me very much.
- Doesn't mean that either.

Look, these kids that say you're
gay, they just don't know you.

Okay, gay is a label.

Okay, like short or weird.

Not that you're
any of those.

- Yeah. My mom used to say that too.
- Good.

- How do you keep track of who knows?
- Who knows what?

Knows you're gay.
- I'm not...

Okay I... I am...
But I'm not just gay.

I mean I am just gay.

- Eric?
- What?

- That's processed cheese.
- So.

You have to get the real cheese,
the pre-sliced kind for sandwiches.

- Alright, let's get the pre-
sliced kind for sandwiches.

- What about back before
you were just gay?

What about it?

You probably didn't want anybody
to know back then either right?

So you must've faked
being not "just gay".

- Yeah so.
- What did you do?

- I didn't have
to do anything.

I played hockey.

Where you going?
Where you going?!

Back pass. Heads up! Heads up!

Oh, there's your pocket picked.

Oh, keep it on the ice!

You having a good time?

- The skating's
not bad.

- You know how
to skate huh?

Greg.

- Hey.
- What are you doing here?

- I'm here with my kid, that's
my son Lawrence over there.

There he is right there, yeah.
- That's your boy?

- Yeah.
How 'bout you?

Uh... I had a
pick-up game.

Pick-up game.
- Okay.

So um...

Nula give you any
of that tape we shot?

Yeah, I watched it.

- Questions,
comments, praise?

- I mean, uh, the stuff you
were doing was kind of unfocused

and I don't know, you didn't really
get into it with the players, you know?

Yeah. What?

No sure I did.

- Look at that kid go.
- Which kid?

- Which kid? That kid?
- Yeah, you know that kid?

- That kid,
with the uh...

Uh, ah.

Oh.

You okay?

- I didn't mean to do that.
- Everybody falls, Scot. Up.

- But the rest is
good enough right?

- Good enough for what?
- To play hockey.

He wants to play hockey.

- He does, does he?
- Right Scot?

Come meet the coach.

- He ever play peewee before?
- No.

But my mom taught
me how to skate.

I can even do the butterfly--
- He's good. Good skater coach.

Eric McNally! Wow!

2000, Stanley Cup
semi-finals. Game 7.

You poked in the
winning goal in overtime.

That was me.

- I'm Bud Wilson, the coach.
- Nice to meet you coach.

You were quite the
scrapper 'til you got injured.

Well...

- Now you're on TV.
Didn't know you had a son.

I'm Scot. He's Eric. He's g--

Ah we're game coach. We're game
for... Anything else you need from us?

Eric.

- Ah, no.
- Hey get outta here.

- What? Ryan Burlington
plays on your team?

He's our star center, why?

Yeah maybe this
isn't such a good idea.

Scot's pretty fresh. Your team
looks pretty advanced. I don't--

Listen. I'm looking for an assistant
coach. You'd be here all the time.

Give the boy the attention
he needs. Hey guys...

How would like a real former Maple
Leaf to be your assistant coach?

Coach, I don't know--

- Do the jerseys
only come in orange?

- Okay, now you try...
Whoa, hold on a second.

Whoa, hold on. See, this is how
you grip your stick, okay?

This guy's over.
You see how my hand is? Over.

And then this guy
is under like that.

Okay. And stop holding
it so tight.

You're holding it like a bandit. No
one's gonna knock it away from you.

Okay just... You don't wanna
let the team down right?

It just takes practice alright.
Eye on the ball and...

Let 'er rip. Let 'er rip.

Uh-huh. Good.
It's not bad.

Just here's
the thing...

Keep your legs slightly bent. Keep
your eye on the ball and let 'er rip!

Oh! Good. Good. Good.
That's great.

Okay so look.
Any questions just holler.

Remember it's
all in the wrist.

- Eric! How did you
and Sam meet?

Well when I got injured,
Sam took care of me.

He's good at that.

He is. Yeah.

- He'll be happy I'm
playing hockey right?

Oh, yeah. Absolutely.

- Ah no, you should've talked to
me before you signed him up.

- You know, it all happened so
fast and you were in meetings.

Besides it was Scot's
idea. He wanted to.

- Really?
- I was as surprised as you.

Turns out he's
not a bad skater.

What? He's not!?

Julie taught him.

Scot...

Hey, you wanna come inside? I got pizza,
pop and on TV women's figureskating.

I can't. Eric will be disappointed
if I can't hit the garage.

It's 'cause you're looking at the
ground when you're shooting idiot.

Nula...

Shut up!
I'm not gonna kill you.

I took your advice. I told Ms
Paul I was sorry for being stupid

and now she's giving me D
minuses instead of Fs.

And I'm not even trying.
- Congratulations.

- Yes, aim high.
- You're not hitting the ball

'cause you're trying to smash
it. You gotta flick it first.

See? Now you try.

TRY!

See?

Scot?

I think I'll stay
outside a little longer.

You know, you're kinda cute.

- The longer Scot stays,
the greater the attachment.

Think what it's gonna
be like when he leaves.

Yeah, don't worry about that. There's plenty
of kids on the team that can replace him.

For Scot, when Scot leaves.

- And when's that
happening exactly? I mean...

How many times have you
called Billy only to hear:

"I need more time. I need more time"?

What?
- Billy called.

And?

- He needs more time.
- See.

- But only
'til Christmas.

Scot'll play hockey 'til Christmas.
It'll be good for him you know?

He'll meet
some new friends.

Maybe it'll tough him up a little
bit. Plus I'll be there to coach him.

- Assistant coach.
- Assistant coach.

- Wow. All I ever won was
a plaque for attendance once.

- What's it like living
with 2 gay guys?

- They're not gay.
- Ho, they're gay.

- They don't sit
around kissing or anything.

My mom died.
They're taking care of me.

They're nice though.
Hey Ryan.

Play the Casio?
- Yeah.

- Do you know any songs? Maybe
of the Christmas carol variety?

Your mom's dead?

- Yeah, there was
a car accident and...

People keep saying
she died in a car crash.

She didn't.
Why would they tell me that?

She took drugs. A lot of drugs
and this one time...

She took too many.

- You're lying.
She never did that.

Cross my heart, hope to die.

- Hey.
- Hey.

Here I was thinking
babysit Scot, it'll be fun.

You know, good time girls
night in kind of fun

but you didn't tell
me Scot's Mr. Hockey now.

Where is he?

He's down the street. He found
another Mr. Hockey to hang with.

- Oh. I heard some
scuffling earlier.

Maybe a couple cries of help.
That was about an hour ago.

- What kind
did she take?

- She started off
taking pills.

She said it messed
her up too much.

So she switched to the kind
you get in needles.

She used to stick 2 needles
this big in between her toes.

That way no one
would see the marks.

Not like if they
were on her arm.

Did you see her?

Take a needle? Once.

- But did you
see her dead?

If you stick the needle in wrong, air
bubbles get created into your body.

They go all the way to your heart
and your heart explodes and you die.

She died.

- I thought you
said that...

- Child
Services said...

- Hey? What kind of
conditioner do you use?

- Hey, guys.
What's going on?

- Ryan plays a Casio.
- Shut up.

My girlfriend
likes it.

- Okay Scot,
time to go.

Hey listen Scot. Billy called

and um, he's not gonna be making
it up here 'til Christmas.

- Alright, how do you
feel about that?

- Fuck it.
Whatever.

So you're buying
me this garter belt

to hold up my hockey socks over
which I'll pull my girdle?

- Yeah.
- Irony noted.

Oh hey Scot.

- Hey Joey.
- Joey Morita.

I heard you joined the team.

Coach asked me what
position I should play.

I told him I don't have any
hockey or skating experience

so I'm the goalie.

- Huh. That's great.
- A little bit tighter please.

- Tighter?
- Mm-hm.

- How's that?
###

Wait up!

Come on Scot. The
crosswalk's for freaks. Yeah!

Woo!
- Wah!

Oi.

What are we gonna do?!

- Back check!
- And...

Break!

Back check, back check and go!

See your man. Who do you got?!

Alright boys, good game now.

- Pass it here.
- Pass it up. Pass it up!

Keep going! Come on stay on
you right, stay on your right.

You're good.

- Nice hit, Burlington.
Shake it off, Finn.

Watch how Conhill uses his body.
Shields coming around the net.

Gets the shot off.
- Yeah and they jammed the slot.

- Jammed the slot.
- Yeah, they jammed the slot.

Hey Eric, you wanna
give me a hand with this?

No thanks, we're good.

You guys ready and yeah!

- Alright. Listen up.
Good practice guys.

For your first game Wednesday,
I got the starting string.

Ryan, you're centre. JP,
you're coming up the right.

Yes!

And coming up the left...

Coming up the left is Scot.

Ha. What about me?

Everybody plays. Don't worry Finn,
I'll play you right after Ryan. Eric?

Okay so uh...

Good game.
- Yeah!

- Got a big game coming up on
Wednesday guys. Big game.

So uh... Well this game you
know... Remember...

Not... You know hockey isn't the
only game we're playing here.

You know, how you behave on the
ice is a lot about how you behave.

You guys are... I mean I really,
the last couple weeks...

Watching you guys do your you
know... You guys are...

Here's the thing guys...

When I say ziggy you say boom.
Ziggy!

Boom!

- Ziggy!
- Boom!

- Ziggy! Ziggy! Ziggy!
- Boom! Boom! Boom!

- Now get some sleep and
Wednesday get ready to kill 'em!

Yeah!

Hey for a minute there I thought
you were gonna call for a group hug.

I'd rather fight than talk but
kill 'em might've been a little...

I'm gonna...

You suck! You can't pass.

You can't shoot.
And your gay dad's a gay!

The word's faggot, O'Brian.

- Stop fighting. It's
like Eric said or tried to say.

We have to work
together as a team.

And he's not my dad
and he's not a gay.

Don't ever say that
about him again, okay?

Stop fighting you guys.

Stop fighting you guys!

Hey Joey, those
skates, are they new?

Uh, kinda new.

- Toss me one,
I'm gonna try it on.

- Hey.
- Oh hey. Get this.

Couple of the Canada Juniors
found out I'm assistant coaching

and they got
a look at Nula

so they're actually gonna come to Scot's
first game. You're bringing people right?

- Uh... I wasn't planning on it.
- No? Maybe you should ask Joan.

Or Mildred.
- Mildred, cheer hockey?

Are you kidding me? Mildred'd
be the loudest one in the stands.

I just think it'd be nice to have
people there, you know for Scot.

- Ha. So if I wanna come
watch Scot play hockey

I gotta travel in a pack?

Come on Sam.

- Sam. Sam! What are the police
doing at Ryan's house?

I hate Joey Morita.

- Why do you hate Joey Morita so
much? Joey's your friend.

- He's not. He told his mom that
Ryan stole his skates.

- Did Ryan steal his skates?
- Yeah.

Well then...

Ryan's going to juvie and I'm dead.

Did you just say juvie?

They're going to kick Ryan off the team,
aren't they? I need him to protect me.

- No. You don't need protection.
- What if I get hurt?

The way you did. Ryan said that someone
rammed you into the boards and broke

your shoulder during practice.

That wasn't really much of a break.

- In four places.
- Four little places.

Ryan also said when you played
hockey they used to call you Erica.

- Ryan said that?
Good luck in juvie, Ryan.

That's why I'm dead.

Sit up, Scot.

Now, look at me.
Look at me.

I want you to
make a fist, okay?

Fist.
That's it. Good.

Alright, now hold it up in front
of your face. That's it.

Like that.
Like that.

You're teaching me to fight?

I'm teaching you to
protect yourself. Okay?

And the first thing
I want you to remember...

- Protect the face.
- Protect the face.

Good game.

Warming up!

- Pick it up!
- Gum, coach?

- Never use it.
- Hey, Eric!

- Some friends up there,
McNally?

- Yeah, I got a few...
Holy crap, everybody's up there.

Hey, Eric!

- Alright now, boys.
Game faces! Game faces!

- Sam, which
one's Scot?

He's number 25. Right there.

And to think before yard work he
used to ask me for a scrunchie.

- Come on, guys!
- Alright now boys! Game faces!

Game faces!
- Come on.

Go Marathon!

Scot! Scot!

Scot! Scot!

Have a good game, Scot.
You're the best.

Alright, boys, first game, right? I know
you must be just itching to go at each other.

But keep it clean.
Let's have some fun.

What the hell?

Isn't he supposed to
go after the other goalie?

You're going the wrong way!

Hey! Don't! No!

- Hey McNally, get back here!
McNally!

- Scot,
what are you doing?

Protect the face, Joey.

But we're best friends!

Agh!
- Whoa!

- Hey! Scot!
Scot! Get off him.

Get off him.
- Let me go.

What are you doing? You're
out of the game. You're done.

Why?

- Why? Why? Look! Look at him,
alright. You're out of the game.

- What do you think you're doing?
- Give me a second here.

Out of the game. I'm not joking.

Oh my God,
you're Eric McNally?

Yes. Yes. I'm Eric... Yes, I'm Eric McNally.
I played for the Leafs. Yeah, I liked to fight.

I got injured. I'm on TV. Give
me one second here. Skates off!

- No, it's not fair.
- Go. Go!

Smooth move, genius.

- Sam... Sam.
- You taught him to fight?

Well, I taught him to
defend himself, yes.

By fighting?

What was I supposed to do?
Have him lob vanilla pudding at people?

- Go on. Go back to your hockey.
I'm taking Scot home.

The hierarchy of affectionate gestures
doesn't exactly list high-sticking.

We were a little lost
and if it weren't for me

this kid would be coming home
in full makeup every day.

- He'd be happier.
- He'd be dead is what he'd be.

Pulverized by some bully's fist in
the schoolyard. You don't remember?

- It's not my fault!
- I am mad at you.

Joey is your friend, right.
You don't do that to friends.

Come here. You are gonna say,
I'm sorry to Joey and Bud

and anyone else that needs to
hear it. Let me hear you say it.

I'm sorry.

Again! Again!

- I'm sorry.
- Okay. That's enough.

You saw what he did.

I didn't even want to
do your stupid hockey!

I only did it to make you happy
and you don't like anything I do.

That's not true.

I hate it here and I hate you!

Good. Good because you're
coming with me... Come here.

You are coming with me and
you're gonna say "I'm sorry."

You're gonna find out the consequences
of pulling such a cheap stunt--

Eric, he's not your kid.

Hey, Scot...

- Well, we're gonna
miss you, Scot.

Class, why don't we all tell Scot
how much we're gonna miss him?

Say it with me, now.
Ready?

One, two, three...

- We'll
miss you, Scot.

- Everybody open their
readers to page nine.

- Alright,
people, one more week.

Now, when you get to Reykjavik

you're gonna smell the World Juniors
as soon as you get off the plane.

And I'm not talking
about the locker room either.

I'm talking about the excitement. Now,
between practice time and game time,

it gets really hectic in there which means
interview time's going to be very tight.

I need you all to be sharp and I'm gonna
be looking for you to be ready with--

That's Scot.

Eric?

- I'll step outside.
- I need you to be here.

Right after this call.

- That I really need
you to take, later.

Unless, of course, you want to
skip Reykjavik altogether

and cover women's soccer
'til the end of time.

Hello.

Joan,
yeah. I'll...

I'll call you back.

Are you done?

- Did I tell you I've been
taking care of this boy, Scot?

You met him actually, Greg.
The day at the rink.

He was the kid doing the...

Twirling.

Anyway uh...

I've been looking after him.

Except today my brother...

Well, my so-called brother-in-
law Billy coming up from Brazil

To get him...

Take him back to Brazil.

I ever tell you when I played
pro they used to call me Erica?

Hey, guys, I thought I'd...

- Hey! The hockey hero! Give me
a hockey handshake there.

Hey. Eric.

- Hey. Billy.
- Right.

- Hey, listen, thanks for... For
taking care of the Scoot there

for the past couple of months.
I really appreciate that.

- Hm.
- Come on.

We were just sitting down having
a little something, you know.

- Ah, someone's been cooking.
- Yeah. Yeah.

I guess he started whipping
stuff up there in his...

In his little apron there
when we came to the door.

All you had was coffee.

Hasn't changed.

Not... not a bit.

- I really grew.
- Huh? What's that?

I grew. Can't you tell?

Cute.

You don't want to change. Right?
You don't want to do that. Trust me.

Scot, why don't you ask Billy what
kind of school you're gonna be going to?

- School. Yeah. We're gonna check that out
when we... when we get back. Right, mi amigo ?

- Well, yeah. Because he's
already missed September

and he shouldn't...
He shouldn't miss much more.

- I'll make
a mental note of that.

- Yeah. And don't they speak
Portuguese down there?

- I'll make a mental note
of that... that too.

Whoa! I need a...
Dying for a smoke.

But don't...
Don't you do this, okay?

Especially not in a nice fancy
potpourri house like uh...

Like this here.

I need you tell me where the lawyer is
'cause I gotta do this whole insurance thing,

get that taken care of. Nice
meeting you there, Eric. Thank you.

- Scot.
- What?

I'm coming up.

Hey, bud.

Listen, don't worry
about Billy, okay?

Billy means well. He does.
He's just... he's energetic.

If Billy doesn't want me I'll
have to go back to Child Services.

And you guys don't want me and
my mom doesn't want me 'cause--

Whoa.

No!

What happened to your mom
was an accident.

She never would have done anything
to take herself away from you.

And it's not that we don't
want you. It's just...

A long time ago your mom decided that
Billy would be the one to take care of you.

And Billy is...

Billy's a good guy.
I like Billy.

You're... You're
a lucky guy, Scot.

Brazil is gonna be cool.
Like, I mean, not cool.

It's gonna be hot, but it'll
be cool. Alright?

I should get back to packing.

- Hoo... Asshole!
- You're right.

- I want to punch
him in his face.

Maybe you should punch me.

It's my fault, Sam.
I screwed up. This poor kid.

He's upstairs
and he thinks...

He doesn't know who he is or
where he belongs or if he belongs.

He doesn't think
that he has...

He doesn't have Billy, he doesn't have
his mom and he thinks he doesn't have us.

And the idea of sending him away
in this state is killing me.

I thought...

Well, what does
Scot like? Christmas.

I thought...

What if we give the kid a big
going away party in his honour?

A big...

Old, gay...

I mean, gay in a traditional
sense, Christmas party.

Ryan. What's this?

- Scot told me to
bring my Casio. So I did.

I brought my faggoty Casio.
- Is "faggoty" a word, Ryan?

- What, am I a dictionary?
- Boots.

- Oh God, always with the boots.
You know, for an NHL player,

you live in the gayest
house in the world.

- Hey! Mildred's ham.
The true meaning of Christmas.

Where's Scot?
I have a present.

Give it here.

- You won't forget it?
- Will I forget it?

Guests.

You know what? I actually
kind of like girls' soccer.

- I actually think Greg's
downgraded you to croquet.

- One mention of
the word 'Erica' and--

- That had nothing to do with
it. Everyone already knew.

Eric.

Hey, George Junior. Look
who made it out of his room.

- My mom slid a map under my
bedroom door. You don't mind?

- Oh no. No. I'm
glad you're here.

George, this is Nula.
Nula, this is...

Jesus Christ, George.
All that with my weights?

- Yeah. Spend a few months
living with my mother

you find ways
to work out aggression.

You're a hockey player, too?

- No. I have a pretty thorough
disdain for sports of any kind.

Really?

- Why don't you go on in
and grab a protein shake,

power bar or something?

Take it easy on the boy.

- Mr. Latour?
- Joey Morita.

Good on you for coming. Kick
off your boots and follow me.

- I'm not sure this is a
very good idea, Mr. Latour.

I'm not Mr. La...

My last name is Mc...

Follow me.

Hey, gang.

- Look, Mr. Latour.
- I'm not Mr. Lat--

- I'm tinsel. I sparkle.
- And me.

I'm on. I'm off.
I'm on. I'm off.

- Neat trick.
Scot! Hey, Scot, Joey's here.

Joey's here?

Yeah. You have something
you'd like to say to him?

- Hey.
- Hi.

- You have something else
you'd like to say to him?

- Sorry.
- That's okay.

No, guys. No. Joey, no.

Don't you want to tell Scot that when he
popped you in the beak, it hurt your feelings?

And you, don't you want to tell Joey
what a really good friend of yours he is?

- I bled a lot
when you hit me.

The entire crease was red.
- We have to tell Carla that.

- Yeah.
- That's... Good job, men.

Okay, everybody, we're just
about ready for you.

- Hey, Joey. You can
be the angel. Come here.

You ready?

- Not going to do it.
- Why not?

- Billy's gonna
think I'm a sissy.

- We're all a little
sissy around here.

Scot and Joey
just buried the hatchet.

Oh, hey, Eric.
Ask Billy about his suit?

Suit?

Italian. I wanted to look nice
for when I met Mia's family.

Mia?

Yeah, go ahead, ask Billy about Mia.

Hi. I'm Mia.

- Eric.
- Mia's Billy's fianc�.

Fianc�?

- Mia lives in Paris and Rio and
she has family in Rosedale

and she's Scot's big surprise. Which
is ironic because Scot was kind of hers.

You forgot to tell us you had a fianc� and
you're gonna try and spring that on Scot now?

- Why not? I sprang it on Mia
and she was thrilled, right?

- He did.
I think it's wonderful.

- No, it's not. No way does
wonder work its way into it.

- Billy isn't even Scot's dad.
- Oh, I know all that.

But Billy says he'll be
thrilled to have a new mom.

That's 'cause Billy's a moron.

- Mia, can I--?
- Why you gotta be like that?

- Why I got to be like that,
right? It's Christmas.

- Yeah, it's Christmas time.
You're my brother and... and...

- George, take this
into the dining room.

Yeah, sure.

Hold on.
Sam's in there with Billy.

- Who's Billy?
- He's the goof-bag taking Scot.

Hi. I'm Mia. I'm with Billy.

The aforementioned "goof-bag".

- So now you're going to
surprise Scot with a new mommy?

A surprise is
a computer or a bike.

I mean, you'd be pushing
it to hand the kid a puppy.

For Christ's sake, why didn't you get
a on a plane the minute I called you?

I did! Okay, I was gonna.

Sammy, look, I had to find a way
to... to work around the...

The Mia
thing, right?

I had to, you know, kind of
step up to her level, you know?

- You mean with Julie's
money from the insurance?

- Oh, now you... don't do that.
You're my brother, alright.

But don't get all preachy...

Dinner's ready now.

I know. I know. But
George, George, George...

Sam...

Yeah, I really
need to chill out, right?

- Alright, you guys...
You guys are lucky.

You missed it.
Apparently, we're lucky.

Lucky how?

You're gay.

You can't have kids.
- And that's lucky because...?

- 'Cause you're not gonna get
stuck with somebody else's kid

then have to pay for it
for the rest of your life.

Billy, you've never let yourself get
stuck with anything in your whole life.

You abandoned Scot and Julie.

Whoa I didn't abandon
anybody. She started using again.

- You ever try
and help her stop?

You know, look...

I wasn't gonna
get involved, Sammy.

All I kept thinking
about was like

wouldn't that be weird. Me being the
one in the family to get the AIDS.

What did you say?

Whoa! Sam, Sammy, Sam...

- You know what? I'm not--
- Boys. Boys...

- Boys, you might want to stop
that just for a bit.

If everybody wants
to come to the hallway.

- ## We wish you
a merry Christmas #

# We wish you
a merry Christmas #

# We wish you a merry Christmas
And a happy New Year #

# Deck the halls
with boughs of holly #

# Fa la la la la la la la la #

# Jingle bells / Jingle
bells / Jingle all the way #

Hey!

# Oh what fun it is to ride in a one
-horse open sleigh #

# Jingle bells / Jingle bells #

# Jingle all the way #

Hey!
# Oh what fun it is to ride #

# In a one-horse open sleigh #

# The most wonderful
time of the year #

# With kids jingle-belling
and everyone telling to #

# "Be of good cheer" #

# It's the most
wonderful time of the year #

# It's the most... ##

- Yeah um... This is...
This is Mia, Scot.

She's going to be your new mom.
- Hi.

- You didn't notice
how much I grew.

- What?
- This morning. I asked.

- What?
- I grew a lot.

- Yeah, kids grow.
You grew. It's good.

You didn't notice.

I would.

'Cause you're gonna grow a lot.
You're gonna get taller

and your voice is gonna change
and your face is gonna change.

It'll all be amazingly different. But it'll
all happen so slowly you won't even notice.

But I'd notice.

I'd notice you.

Every day I'd
notice you.

- I want to stay
with Eric and Sam.

Billy?

- No. No,
no Eric and Sam.

Don't start that, okay? I spend a lot of
money on a ticket to fly up here to get you--

- Billy.
- Hang on. And...

And, Mia, I've been telling
Mia, and she even likes you.

Of course. I do.

But um, Scot
belongs here, Billy.

I'm the hose bag?

Dickhead is more like it.

Does this mean I can stay?

Yeah. Okay.

Come here.

- Ow.
- Ow.

What the hell?

This is from Mildred. I forgot.

Oh!

It's my mom's
charm bracelet.

And, look, it has a new one.

Scot. One 'T'.

Ta da!

# Welcome to
my Christmas song #

# I'd like to thank you
for the year #

# So I'll be sending you
this Christmas card #

# To say it's nice
to have you here #

# I'd like to sing
about all the things #

# Your eyes and mind can see #

# So hop aboard the turntable #

# Step into Christmas
with me yeah #

# Step into Christmas... #

# It's the most wonderful
time of the year #

# With the kids jingle-belling #

# And everyone telling you
be of good cheer #

# It's the most
wonderful time of the year #

# It's the hap-happiest
season of all #

# With those holiday greetings #

# And gay happy meetings #

# When friends come to call #

# It's the hap-happiest
season of all #

# There'll be parties for hosting
marshmallows for toasting #

# And carolling
out in the snow #

# There'll be scary ghost
stories and tales of the glories #

# Of Christmases long long ago #

# It's the most
wonderful time of the year #

# There'll be
much mistletoe-ing #

# And hearts will be glowing
when loved ones are near #

# It's the most
wonderful time of the year #

# There'll be parties
for hosting #

# Marshmallows for toasting and
carolling out in the snow #

# There'll be scary ghost
stories and tales of the glories #

# of Christmases long long ago #

# It's the most
wonderful time of the year #

# There'll be
much mistletoe-ing #

# And hearts will be glowing
when loved ones are near #

# It's the most
wonderful time #

# It's the most
wonderful time #

# It's the most
wonderful time of the year #

Subtitles edited by LeapinLar