Original subtitles

( dramatic music playing )

Man: Sooner or later,

a thug will tell his tale.

We all wanna go on record.

So let's hear it for all the hoods.

The Jews out of Brownsville,

the blacks on Lenox Avenue,

the Italians from Mulberry Street,

the Irish in Hell's Kitchen.

Like that.

Meanwhile, Puerto Ricans been getting jammed

since the '40s and ain't nobody said nothing.

Well, I'm gonna lay it on you one time

for the record.

My people, they hit New York

and filed into the roach stables

in Spanish Harlem and the South Bronx.

The sat behind the sewing machines,

stood behind the steam tables

and marched behind the brooms.

In other words, they busted their ass.

How'd I survive growing up?

Hustling, thieving,

break-ins--

anything for dollars in them days.

This here's the story of East Harlem.

Blacks on one side, Italians on the other

and Puerto Ricans stuck right there in the middle.

And anyway you cross the line...

could get your ass killed.

( rock music playing )

For 30 years, Italians,

Puerto Ricans and blacks,

all in the three-sided war.

No winners but the funeral parlors.

And then one day the Italians showed up with the dope.

That's what made the peace,

the heroin business.

( buzzer )

I hit 21 in the Elmira Pen,

upstate New York.

First whiff of country air for this Puerto Rican.

There you are.

Made you a little sample there.

We're having osso buco, escarole and beans

and a rigatoni with lobster sauce.

Take your pick.

Oh, it's better than my wife makes.

- Hey, you get divorced, maybe you can marry Rocco. - Yeah, I just may do that.

- I'll make you a plate. What do you want? - Whole nine yards.

Man: Now this is historical.

A Puerto Rican, a brother,

an Italian all bunking together in the joint.

In your head, keep the number in your fucking head, Clyde.

- There you go, baby. - Earl was the brains.

One of the top numbers guys in Harlem,

inside or out.

Nothing ever went down without discussing it with Earl.

Rocco had all the connections.

He was mobbed up with the Pleasant Avenue crew.

Rocco didn't talk like no wiseguy.

Spoke nice and soft, dignified.

I gotta go all the way to New York City to buy you tomatoes?

I'd appreciate it if you would.

We all getting out of here soon, Carlito.

I miss it already.

Time to stop all your bullshit.

What bullshit?

Ripping off cars, selling reefer. Time to get your act together.

Last time I checked, we was all doing time.

Me and Rocco, we businessmen.

You? Small-time street hood, baby.

You wanna start making some real money, Charlie?

Heck, who don't?

Heroin's taking over.

My people, they have a very dependable supply line.

Earl: But the Italians, see,

they ain't going to 125th Street to deal with the brothers,

and they ain't going west to deal with the Puerto Ricans.

They need distributors in those neighborhoods.

Guys with heart. Guys with brains.

Stand-up motherfuckers.

You can be part of this, Charlie, or you keep hustling quarters

the rest of your life.

Think about it.

Carlito: And that's how three cats from different alleys got together--

me, Earl and Rocco.

We hit Harlem like Frazier hit Ali.

( siren wailing )

He's really looking forward to meeting you guys.

Artie, I'd like to introduce you to my friends.

This is Carlito. This is Earl.

Artie, these are the guys I was telling you about.

I gotta meet people when I'm dining out, huh?

Fucking Puerto Rican and a nigger.

Get 'em out of here.

Something wrong with your ears?

Take a fucking walk.

Gentlemen.

Charlie.

I say we go jam steak knives up their noses.

Earl: No no, it's Rocco's boss.

It went good. He likes you guys.

He's giving us 10 kilos on consignment.

We're in business.

( funk music playing )

♪ Whoo! ♪

♪ Baby, Lord, oh, Lord ♪

♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪

♪ Uh, uh, oh! ♪

♪ It takes sunshine and rain ♪

♪ To keep a flower growing ♪

♪ Kill me now ♪

♪ But all I need... ♪

We got one rule.

People get used to this kind of quality.

Don't go waving your magic wand turning 5 keys to 15,

stepping all over our shit with baby laxative.

You dig it?

Me and my Pop, we got a rule, too.

Any of you guys fuck up,

you're all dead.

( man speaking Spanish )

♪ But for me, a substitute won't do ♪

♪ Your love is the only thing ♪

♪ I find satisfying ♪

♪ Oh, baby... ♪

Carlito: Big Jeff and Little Jeff

was the two most feared cops in all of Harlem.

Hey, where's everybody going?

See the Jeff squad coming, leave the cash,

- leave the clothes... - Hey, come on, man!

...leave the city.

( groaning )

Come on, get up. Get over here.

- You know this scumbag? - No, sir.

- This your jacket? - No.

- You live here? - No.

What is your wallet doing in the pocket if it ain't your jacket,

Angel Rodriguez, 2670 East 117th?

This piece of shit threw a 75-year-old lady in front of the 6 train.

Now we come back here tomorrow, you better know where he is

or you're gonna get tossed in front of the 6 train.

Rule one:

Touch the dope, get buried in a hole.

Guys who get high gonna get sloppy, gonna get popped.

Gonna start scratching and talking.

Rule two: Nobody settles their own beef.

You bring it to me or Carlito.

We'll tell you what's what.

Carlito: Rule three: You gonna make a pick-up or a drop

with somebody you don't know,

they gotta have the other half of the bill.

- Same serial number or nothing goes down. - ( door opens )

There's a long line for haircuts today.

Any of you seen this scumbag?

What'd he do?

Snatched a bag off somebody's grandmother

and tossed her in front of a subway train.

That's Junior.

You can catch him at the Edmonds Hotel on 118th.

He's got a girl over there.

Thanks, fellas.

- Don't mention it. - How long you been out, Carlito?

- A couple of months. - Little Jeff: Looks like you're trying real hard

- to keep it that way. - You know it.

( mumbling )

Carlito: Hollywood Nicky owned West Harlem.

It belonged to him outright.

Everything from Lenox Avenue to the Hudson River.

Nicky got the name Hollywood

'cause you could always find him at the fights,

movie premieres, Broadway shows.

Had more broads chasing him than the Beatles.

Lived on the entire floor of a Park Avenue hotel.

- How the fuck could you be eating again? - I got hungry again.

- This is the third time. - I got low blood sugar.

Doctor says I'm supposed to eat a lot of small meals.

You ain't had a small meal in your life.

It's 10:30 in the morning, you're already on fucking dinner.

No wonder my car smells like a garbage pail,

and I keep finding your shit up underneath my seats.

I don't put nothing under the seats.

What do you call this? A gum wrapper?

You're making me car sick, and we ain't even moving.

Nigger, it's the biggest fight of the year!

If you want me to, I'll fly through Chicago, and I'll pick you up.

Hollywood Airlines, baby!

Nicky says as far as he's concerned,

we stay east of Lenox,

ain't gonna be no problems.

Carlito: Earl did the smart thing,

'cause you don't never want no beef with Hollywood Nicky.

Before he went all Hollywood,

they used to call him Nicky X-ray.

He could see right through brick walls,

around corners.

I know you been playing games.

Little pinch for your head out of my parcel,

couple of dollars now and then.

Get the fuck out of here.

Young blood, you fooling with me, you fooling with Nicky.

- You dig? - Fuck you and fuck Nicky.

I don't take nothing. Mind your business.

Okay, partner. Have a good day.

Carlito: You work for somebody, work for somebody,

work for Nicky,

take a little extra for yourself,

and you think Nicky won't find out?

You wasn't thinking.

Get the fuck out of my way, grandma!

- ( R&B music playing ) - Like I told you,

I'm gonna be running this spot in a few years.

So why don't you finish that drink,

so we can go on back to my place?

- ( woman gasps ) - ( glass shatters )

Do you know what this is?

Do you know what this is?!

Chump change.

But it belongs to me.

I don't care if it's a million dollars.

I don't care if it's $100.

I don't care if it's $20!

When you take something that's mine...

you spit in my face.

And it hurts me.

What's the first rule in life?

What's the first rule in life, above all others?

What is the first commandment the Lord God gave us?

Don't mess with Hoppy.

Just don't mess with him.

May I please have a cream soda?

♪ And the days go by ♪

♪ And your love is sweeter ♪

♪ So much sweeter... ♪

Carlito: Don't mess with Hoppy.

You got that right.

Dope-- the great equalizer.

Puts millionaire stockbrokers

and welfare mothers front row in the gutter.

We didn't create all these tecatos.

I never put a needle in nobody's arm.

Heroin already unpacked and moved in, Jack,

long before I showed up.

Me, Rocco and Earl,

we was the new musketeers.

Every night, different joint,

different women, different scene.

- You gonna call me a liar? - I didn't call you a liar, sir.

I simply reminded you that I pointed the stain out on the lady's coat

- when you checked it. - You showed me shit. I want a new coat!

- It was my birthday present. - Hey!

Excuse me? You mind?

Feels like old paint.

You might want to just trim a little of the fur off.

What are you, a dry cleaner?

Get the fuck out of my face! Look, I want to talk to the manager.

All right, good. You talk to the manager.

- Victor, can you please get Felix? - You paying for this coat.

- Can you read English? Read the sign! - What?

It says, "Not responsible for personal property." No one's paying for your coat.

Listen, this coat right here,

costs more than you're gonna make in your whole fucking life,

- you dumb puta cunt. - ( thuds )

I'm Carlito Brigante. You ever heard of me?

- Yeah. - Then you know I ain't no fucking dry cleaner.

You can leave like you came in, or you can go in the trunk of my car.

All up to you. Comprende?

Yeah!

Don't forget to leave a tip.

Fucker.

- Thank you. Good night. - Have a good night.

What's your name?

Leticia.

- I'm Carlito. - Hi.

- Hi, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

- Sorry about that. - No, no. Thank you for your help.

No, please. He tipped enough for all of you. Please.

Really.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Good night. - Good night.

What a man, right?

Yeah, Carlito!

- Qué hombre, Carlito! - You like that?

Hey hey hey hey. You want us to take skinny Minnie home,

so you can go get with the coat check girl?

- Get out of here! - You can trust me, man. Tell me! It's okay!

I'll do it!

Man: She's looking fine tonight, man.

Leticia: Well, hello there.

Hey, I was in the neighborhood.

I figured I'd drop by and make sure the coat got to you all right.

It did, and let me tell you,

it was the most beautiful coat I have ever seen in my life,

and I seen a lot of coats.

Now make sure that you don't lose this,

because you're going to need it to get your coat back.

Hey, Leticia. I'm sorry. I didn't mean to offend you.

Offend me? Don't be silly.

You checked a coat. I'm a coat check girl.

It was a gift, all right?

- Let me give you a ride home. - I like to take the train.

- No, tonight you're getting a ride. - No, thank you.

Why not?

Look, Carlito. We're different kinds of people, okay?

What do you mean?

You can't just buy somebody with a leopard coat, all right?

- We don't even know each other. - Come on, it's cold out here.

- Let me just give you a ride home. - I said no.

( dance music playing )

( turns off music )

So what do you do, Carlito,

besides buy coats for people that you don't even know?

I'm a booker.

- A bookie? - No, a booker.

I book musicians, you know.

Guys like Tito Puente, Ray Barretto, Machito.

Everybody.

All over the country.

I'm a solid citizen, Leticia.

So are you gonna go to dinner with me

- on your next night off? - No.

I'm taking you to this fantastic joint.

They got the best steaks, oysters like this,

great desserts. You're gonna love it.

What part of the word "no" do you not understand?

Right here is fine.

- Is this where you live? - No, I'm back down the block,

but I'm gonna get out here. I live with my family.

They don't need to see me get out of a strange man's car.

Okay.

- Nobody gonna be awake right now. - Carlito, please!

I'm only letting you out here

if you have dinner with me.

Otherwise, I'm coming into the house,

wake everybody up, introduce myself,

maybe make some coffee.

I'm off Thursday.

Okay, I'll meet you at this restaurant of yours.

But it's all the way downtown,

so why don't we meet at a bar up here? The Old Timer's on 104th.

I'll be there at 8:00.

May I go now?

Wear the coat.

It's my gift to you whether we go out a few times,

get married and have kids or never see each other again.

Good night, Carlito.

Good night.

( Latin dance music playing )

Excuse me.

I'm looking for Carlito.

He called and said he'd be here soon.

Thank you.

( man speaks Spanish )

That broad...

just asked for Carlito Brigante?

Sí.

Mira chula-- that's a beautiful coat you got.

Yeah, that shit look like Zebra.

Hey, hey, hey! What are you doing? Get off!

Get off me! Get off! Stop it! Don't take my coat!

Mira!

Tell your boyfriend Carlito that Manny and Chucho

want to talk to him tonight right here, 2:00,

and if you ever want to see this coat again,

Carlito better show up alone.

Come on, Chucho.

- Are you okay? - I'm fine. I'm fine.

I don't know what that whole thing was about, all right?

Probably some old musicians union beef or something.

Come on, Carlito. What's your deal, huh?

- What do you do? - I'm a booker. I book musicians.

I tour with them, you know? Guys like Machito and Tito.

Oh, please. Tito Puente?

I mean, come on. You probably make more money than Tito Puente.

Look at you!

Jodedor. Gangster.

You're not my type, Carlito. You're not my type at all.

Well, what's your type-- janitor, busboy,

maybe a delivery boy or a dishwasher.

There ain't a whole lot out there for us, Leticia.

Look, I never had no father.

My moms died when I was 12,

so I grew up in the youth home.

But you know what? That don't matter,

'cause I got my dignity, my pride.

Whatever it is I do right now ain't gonna be forever.

What do you want from me, Carlito,

other than a fuck?

I like you.

I like that you were standing up to that guy

the other night. The way I see it,

if I hadn't stepped in, you might've really took him apart.

And I think that a tough, stand-up chick like you

ought to be with a stand-up dude.

I've known you what, three days, and I'm already in two beefs

over fur coats about you?

Come on. We got a connection.

- Good evening, Mr. Brigante. - How you doing?

Am I dressed up enough for this place?

Of course you are. Are you kidding?

And after dinner, I'm gonna go pick up your coat.

So what brings you girls to el barrio?

We hitched down from Woodstock for the war demonstration.

What war?

Vietnam!

Oh yeah yeah! I heard about that shit! That's the shit over...

( speaks Spanish )

Carlito!

What's happening, baby? How you been?

I know, you hot about the coat. I apologize.

I had to get your attention somehow.

You don't remember me?

Bro, Manny Sanchez from the youth home.

I ain't seen you in what, 10 fucking years? You look good, baby.

This is my cousin Chucho from Jersey.

- How you doing, Carlito? - Man, shut up.

Mira. We got your coat right here.

But before you take off with it...

just have a drink with us?

That's all you wanted, a fucking drink?

A drink with you is big time these days.

- Salut. - Salut.

( speaks Spanish )

( speaks Spanish )

Leave the fucking bottle.

Here's the deal, Carlito.

You got this whole organization, right?

But while you was in the joint,

me and Chucho here, we had our own distribution thing going.

You put us out of business.

But, hey, this is America, right?

Can't be getting in the way of no progress. I understand.

What do you want from me?

We want to work for you.

We're earners.

We got cojones.

We're loyal, stand-up motherfuckers.

You can trust us, Carlito.

I'll talk to my associates,

and I'll get back to you.

Hey, Carlito.

You're all right.

It's a good thing for us he didn't come in shooting, huh?

Didn't want to get no blood on the coat.

( screams )

( woman sobbing )

Shh.

You out your fucking mind?

You smoked two fools

in a bar full of witnesses?

Rocco: It's a double murder, Charlie.

Big collar, promotion, no statute of limitations.

Hey, it had to be.

They slapped my chick around, stole her coat.

If I don't kill them for that, how's it gonna look?

Earl: There are 30 other ways you could have skinned these cats.

You see, we take care of things like this quietly.

We got a business here, Charlie.

That macho shit of yours, it ain't gonna fly with what we got here.

Hey, you fellas want me out? I'm out.

No hard feelings.

Shit, I was happy stealing cars.

Lot less fucking headaches, that's for sure.

I'll put some guys out, see if they can't do a little witness control

before the cops land on everybody.

Appreciate it, Rocco.

Earl: You ain't a street hood no more.

You a business man.

You gotta start thinking like one.

You can't get your hands dirty ever again.

If you do, it's over with us.

Hey, Rocco, you forgot to tell me I needed a corkscrew.

( doorbell rings )

It's open.

She's here. Can I just take it out with a knife,

or, I don't know,

hammer it in there or something?

Rocco: Take a deep breath and suck it out.

And go buy yourself a corkscrew.

You know, fuck you. You're a big help, Rocco.

- Hello. - Hi.

- How you doing, Leticia? - Good, wow, you have a beautiful place.

Thank you. You know, I try.

Oh my God. You really do cook.

I told you, I'm practically a gourmet chef.

You know, I worked in class-A joints as a kid.

Sauté, soufflé,

over easy, double boil.

- I can do all that stuff. - Wow! I'm so impressed.

( laughs ) You didn't make any of this.

What-what-what are you talking about?

Everything's in the wrong pots. The stove is ice cold.

The stove is broken,

so I had to go over to my neighbor's house and use his.

You're lying to me again.

- W-what-- what are you doing? - What is this?

- That's a-- - What is this and this?

Lies, lies, lies.

You're a professional liar, huh?

No, I just--

Yeah, I think you are.

You're a liar.

- Málo. - Mmm.

( soft music playing )

♪ Touch me ♪

♪ You know just how to touch me ♪

♪ Kiss me ♪

♪ You know ♪

♪ Just where to kiss me ♪

- ♪ Call me ♪ - ♪ You know how to make me ♪

♪ Make me feel so good. ♪

( Spanish music playing )

Earl: You don't want to know. We got mixed company, trust me.

- Woman: We want to know, really. - Tell us.

Earl: All right, making love with a skinny woman.

- That's like having sex with a pair of elbows. Boom! - ( others laughing )

You need cushion for the pushing.

Earl: Early Bird Earl don't want the worm.

I want the whole damn apple, baby.

We need to talk.

You ladies mind excusing us?

I told him. I told him, "You start it, you're gonna lose it."

Now we agreed you were going to stay east of Lenox Avenue.

Now my people are telling me you got your boys all over Fifth.

- That would be east. - Nicky: It's too close.

I'm losing money.

Move all your guys to Madison.

I want the whole area between Madison and Lenox empty.

It's not really the deal we made.

We? I ain't make shit with you, motherfucker!

Brother... relax.

You come in next week, we'll work something out.

First of all, I ain't your motherfucking brother.

There ain't going to be no next week unless we work this shit out now. Right now.

Nicky, don't you think it's a little out of line,

you rolling in here like this

while we're out with our ladies? Now what?

You gonna start making threats?

Who the fuck do you think you're talking to?

- Threats? I'll show you threats. - Forget it, Earl!

What's the difference, man?

- We're gonna move all our guys over to Madison. - Hold the fuck up.

You making decisions for me and Rocco now? We work for you?

Nicky, just give me a minute, all right?

One minute.

Tell you what is right, what's right is what we three agree on together.

- Now you know that. - I agree.

But that kind of macho shit don't fly with what we got here.

We can't go to war with this guy.

Finish our little meeting?

Yeah, we cool.

We cool.

All right.

Earl: It's 6:30 at night, you ain't left the house yet?

What you got on, boy? You look like you pump gas for a living.

I gave you money for clothes, didn't I?

- And you went and spent it on liquor and chicks, right? - ( doorbell buzzes )

- Carlito: Hey, Earl. - You give this shit out on the street?

- Anybody home? - We're back here, man.

This what you doing?

Check it out, Carlito.

Momma don't want revolutionary Reggie in her home no more,

so now I'm stuck with his dusty ass.

- I'll get my own place. - Yeah, with what?

( laughs )

Led me some money, big bro. You've got enough.

Yesterday I asked him to run some number slips for Clyde.

Where the number slips, huh?

Where the number slips, Reggie?

- Still with Clyde? - Still with Clyde.

Now that's an easy fucking job.

I mean, motherfuckers lined up for that job.

Then let one of them do it.

I've had my spot in Barbados over a year now.

Ain't been there but one time.

You work hard, Earl.

I'm getting out of the dope business, Carlito.

Got a kid on the way.

Getting married.

Yeah, motherfucker.

Things gonna be different now.

Come on, man. Hollywood Nicky got 20 kids.

- Houses in Europe, Hawaii. - That ain't me.

Governor Rockefeller, he putting some new laws on the books.

Gonna come down heavy on dope. Ain't gonna be no five-out-in- three-for-good-behavior.

Gonna be 25, 35, life.

We made plenty of money doing this shit, Carlito.

It's time we get out.

Man, I've tried other things.

I mean, junk's the only thing that ever worked for me.

- What about my policy business? - Numbers?

- Yeah. I'll teach you. - Shit, I could never deal with digits every day.

Runners robbing you. Bookkeeping.

That shit's for accountants. Motherfuckers like you.

Safe, that's what it is.

Listen, do me a favor with Reggie.

Spend a little time with him.

He ain't listening to me. I'm his brother.

You hang out with him, you become his friend,

maybe something rubs off. Teach him how to dress right, you know?

Command some respect.

Maybe then he can work with me. Take over.

Motherfucker.

You gonna move to Barbados.

You do something for me with Reggie, huh?

He's a fuck up, but he's a smart kid.

Just needs a direction. He ain't taking it from his brother.

I ain't seen no black folk working in here.

I was wondering if we was allowed to shop here.

You are here.

( chuckles )

This the first time you fit a black man for a suit?

Cool threads, Carlito.

Don't know what to say.

How about "thanks"?

Yeah, but...

you didn't work for the bread you paid for all this.

Sucked it out of some poor motherfuckers arm.

You two, Earl,

you're all the fucking same.

Social parasites

with no awareness of the changes taking place.

See, minorities trying to catch up

and you motherfuckers go around

hustling your own people.

Ain't gonna be no hustlers

- when the revolution comes. - Oh, revolution.

They all gonna get lined up against the wall

with all the other oppressors.

- ( imitating gunshots ) - Rocco: Oppressors.

You ain't had an oppressed day in your life, Reggie.

Earl's numbers sent you to private school,

a year at college, you got food, clothes.

Look at this. Mom owns a two-family house.

I mean, don't go bad mouthing your brother, Reggie.

You've been sucking his titty your whole life.

Carlito, I'd like you to meet my mother.

( speaking Spanish )

- And my sister-in-law Angelita. - Pleasure to meet you.

And this is my father and my brother Sigfredo.

Mmm.

Carlito: This food is fantastic.

The best dinner I've had in--

I don't know-- my whole life.

Mother: Gracias.

Hey, Carlito, how's your business with the musicians?

Long hours too, verdad que sí?

You stay out late, that's for sure.

And a guy like Machito, he don't like going home after the show,

so you got to entertain him until like 6:00 in the morning.

- Machito! - Oh, Machito!

I'll tell you what, Mr. Cruz.

Next time Machito's at the Palladium,

I'm getting you all your own table right next to the stage.

- My guests. - That would be my husband's dream.

- Thank you. - Oh, don't thank me.

I'm gonna make you take out Machito all night after the show.

Then I can go home and get some sleep.

Father: Leticia, what I tell you?

One day you're gonna meet the right kind of man.

- Salut - Salut.

You know, I never get to shop in the neighborhood no more.

Your pops always had that wheelchair?

He was in car accident two years ago.

How long everybody live here?

Ever since the accident.

I had to leave college to run the business.

You know, uh...

I'm a friend of Rocco.

He's like my brother.

His family owns a whole string of buildings over on second.

He can probably set your folks up

with a nice two or three bedroom for next to nothing.

Matter of fact, it would be nothing.

You'd still be right near the bodega.

We get by just fine without handouts.

Sigfredo,

you got five people,

two rooms with one toilet.

That ain't no handout.

It'd be a favor.

Rocco owes me.

Besides, you know, maybe do something for me someday.

( chuckles )

Yeah, like what?

Take out Machito?

Or cook dinner for Tito Puente, huh?

I know who you are, Carlito Brigante.

Droguero.

Okay?

You think you own this neighborhood

and all the hard-working people, they belong to you, but no.

All you own is the junkies.

You got it all wrong, Sigfredo.

People like you are the reason

why everybody thinks that Puerto Ricans are a race of criminals.

All I'm trying to do is help you out, Sigfredo.

I want you to go in the back

and take a look at my sister,

'cause she comes from a good family.

Then I want you to leave and never see her again. You understand me?

Well, unless you got some proof that says Leticia's a minor,

- I'm gonna keep on seeing her. - No, you will not!

Besides, your pops digs me.

Who knows, maybe he wants a successful son in the family.

( speaks Spanish ) You get out of here! You hear me!

You stay away from my sister!

You stay away from my family! You understand me?

Sigfredo! Qué pasó?

You stay away from him.

- You understand? - ( speaks Spanish )

He's the devil.

Carlito: I kept it going with Leticia, but quiet.

Too bad I ain't the marrying kind.

I'd love to see Leticia's brother moping around the wedding

with half the gangsters in New York making toasts to me.

You don't have to keep working at Salso's joint anymore checking coats.

I'll take care of you.

No, Carlito. I'll take care of myself.

( lounge music playing )

Mmm-mm-mm.

My ass. Oh man, yes.

Compliments of Mr. Bottolota.

- Carlito: Thank you. - Reggie: Oh, man!

You are beautiful.

( laughs )

Yes.

You want a black man to fuck you, baby?

Oh yeah.

I've got $300

if you fuck me, baby. Come on, what's up?

You better straighten this kid out, Carlito.

Brother can't get no action in here?

What kind of shit is that?

Can't be banging broads at the table, Reggie.

I know they got a back room.

Yeah, but you got to play it cool. Joints got a liquor license.

Anybody around here can be a cop.

Listen, in a little while we'll talk to the manager,

slip him some cash, you go downstairs and have a good time.

Carlito. Hey, Carlito.

Hey, Artie, how you doing?

- How you doing? All right? - Yeah, it's good.

- Thanks for the drink. - Are you kidding me?

We ain't seen this much money since prohibition.

In that case, I was thinking maybe I could be the first Puerto Rican made guy.

Hey, you never know.

Hey Artie, this is Earl's kid brother Reggie.

Nice to meet you. Earl's done good by us. Real good.

Earl was doing fine without you.

Hey, Carlito, you don't train your pet nigger

before you let him out of the house?

Why don't you go fuck your dead mother?

Artie--

Fuck.

Motherfucker!

Artie: You took that, right? You're a big shot!

You're a big shot, huh?

Take it easy. Relax.

I'll fucking kill you! I'll fucking kill you!

Please everyone, just calm down. Please, relax.

Calm down. Can I get somebody in here to help this?

Relax. Just relax. Ladies-- ladies, keep dancing.

Keep dancing. Smiles, ladies, smile.

Let me just clean this up. Can I have someone in here please?

I'll help you with this. That's fine. That's fine.

Hey, Jerry.

Listen, do me a favor.

Send a dozen bottles of the best champagne over to Artie's table.

Let me have the whole check.

Also see if you can get a hold of Rocco.

Tell him to get his ass over here. It's an emergency.

- You got it, Carlito. - Thank you.

( sighs )

Come here, baby. Reggie gonna show you something.

Drop dead.

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Reggie, being here's the only reason why you're not full of bullet holes.

We're gonna wait for Artie and his boys to split.

We're gonna make a move out the back.

It could take an hour, two hours or three fucking days,

but we ain't moving from this spot until they're gone.

You got to take a leak, do it in a fucking glass.

I got a piece right in my sock.

Waste all them Guinea motherfuckers.

Hey, Reggie, your brother,

me and Rocco,

we're in business with those guys.

Deep. You're way out of line.

Motherfucker called me a nigger and I'm out of line?

You wouldn't shake the man's hand, Reggie.

He sends champagne, comes over to your table,

you treat him like a fucking hump.

For 30 years, man,

we've been at war in Harlem--

blacks, Ricans and Italians.

So here me, Rocco and Earl put something together,

and you want to mess it all up. That ain't right.

What do you think you're doing?

Putting up schools and nursing homes?

You motherfuckers are heroin dealers.

Reggie. Reggie.

- ( groans ) - Time to make a move.

Come on.

Where we going?

Go back and get that chick.

- ( bottle rattles ) - Artie: Oh, look who's here.

Carlito, you buy us all those drinks,

you ain't got to leave out the back door.

Reggie fucked up, all right? I apologize.

You ain't got to answer to us.

He does.

- ( all yelling ) - Carlito: What are you doing?

Get the fuck off!

What do we got here, you black motherfucker?

We're gonna let you do, Carlito. But first you're gonna watch this.

Carlito: Artie, that's Earl's brother, Artie.

Yeah, well, Earl's brother just said his last words,

'cause I'm gonna cut his fucking tongue out.

- You can't do that, Artie. - Open his mouth.

( Reggie screams )

- Artie! - Fuck my mother, huh?

You spit in my face?

- Who the fuck are you? - ( screams )

Rocco: Artie! Artie! Wait!

Let him go.

He's a piece of shit, but let us take care of him.

Look, you know how much money we're gonna loose without Earl?

Don't wreck our business over this.

You better fucking take care of this, Rocco.

You understand me? You better fucking take care of this.

Let's go.

( men murmuring )

( Reggie coughing )

( panting )

He just went at it with Artie.

- Over nothing. - He would have killed him.

Who am I gonna leave my policy business to?

Clyde's your copilot.

- Clyde ain't family. - Yeah, who is?

- You two family. - Yeah, well Charlie doesn't want it.

You give it to me, Artie gets involved, you'll never see another nickel.

Clyde's all right, man.

I want to propose a toast to my successor Clyde.

I've been in business with this man for 12 years,

he took over and now he fired my ass.

Well, you come to work late every day.

Oh yeah, okay. And I want to propose another toast.

To my brothers

of other colors

from other mothers.

My two best friends in the whole world,

Rocco,

Carlito.

I love you

and I'm gonna miss you.

- I'm gonna miss all you guys. - ( applause )

We're gonna have the wedding right there on the beach.

- You two are coming, right? - Like we have a choice.

Fuck you, man. I want you to stay for awhile.

It's a whole different ride, man.

I mean, slow, cool.

It's like peaceful.

Forget about it, Earl.

Hey, they sent motherfuckers to the moon.

You don't think they could lock you two up?

Earl, we love you,

but we're not moving to the West Indies with you.

I'll see you at Christmas.

So what time's your flight?

6:30.

Come on, man. One last drink.

Me and the lady are gonna stop for breakfast before we get on the flight.

Breakfast? You just had dinner.

Catch you at the beach, man.

Rocco.

Get out of here, man.

( car starts )

What do you think?

If you was me, would you throw in the towel

and follow Earl down to paradise?

Yes.

And I would take me with you.

I'd take you too.

Reggie: Fuck you going, man?

Can't drink in this motherfucker without you pushing a mop in his face?

Fuck!

Rocco: Charlie, if you don't mind we'll drop Leticia off

at home and you can get Reggie out of here?

You got it.

Now that Earl's gone, you make sure we never see him again.

You know, you ain't got nobody to blame but yourself that Earl passed you up.

Could have had the whole policy bank,

but you just wouldn't straighten your ass out.

Fuck Earl and fuck you!

Y'all ain't nothing but Rocco's niggas.

You know, Reggie? Walk your ass home.

It's freezing out here, man.

Here. Hop the bus.

- Hop the-- ( sighs ) - You know what?

You've hung around close to a year.

You ain't learned shit. You made no friends, no contacts.

All you do is go to black pride meetings,

drink all night and chase whores.

You know, last time I checked, Malcolm X was a Muslim scholar--

no pork, no booze, no pussy,

prayed five times a day and wore a bowtie.

- You don't know nothing about me. - A punk is a fucking punk--

black, white, Puerto Rican or Chinese.

The only reason why you're allowed to walk the streets is your brother.

He's gone now.

So you better go home, lock yourself in and stay there.

Yeah, I'm gonna tune you up one day, Carlito.

One day? Why wait, motherfucker?

If you're gonna make a move, make a move right now.

Walk, Reggie...

'cause the next time I see you, it's gonna be bad.

Come on, Eddie,

Don't shut down early on me.

- It's 5:30 in the morning, Carlito. - Where you gotta go?

- You're wife can't stand your ass. - Yeah yeah.

Come on, have a drink with me. I'm buying.

Why do you always do this to me, Carlito?

Come on, Eddie, you know how much I love you.

When I die I'm gonna leave you everything.

( gunshots )

( gasping )

I warned you to stay away from my sister, Carlito.

All right, I warned you.

Oh shit! Carlito!

Somebody shot Carlito!

We were successful in removing both bullets. Mr. Brigante was lucky.

No vital organs were damaged.

Listen, Doc, if you need anymore of my blood, I'm ready.

We're okay.

Can I talk to you for a second?

It's probably not a good idea for you to be here, okay?

I'll call you when Charlie wants to see you.

Big Jeff: Private room.

Not too shabby.

( whistles ) You must have 99 lives.

- What can I do for you gentlemen? - Well, to tell you the truth,

we came by to see if there's anything we can do for you.

Maybe let you flip through some mug shots.

I didn't even see the guy.

Snuck up from behind me.

Next thing I know-- bang bang.

Must've been after my wallet.

We figured your goomba pals might have been getting tired

of whacking up all those dividends.

We're gonna make a little deal with you, Carlito.

You give us Artie Bottolota, his son, your little buddy Rocco,

and the rest of the Pleasant Avenue crew,

and we won't start breaking your balls on a daily basis.

You got nothing to break my balls about.

- I'm in the music business, fellas. - ( chuckles )

Carlito Brigante is a tax-paying citizen just like everybody else.

Every jackass in East Harlem is stumbling around trying to suck his own dick

on account of what you and your pals are putting on the street.

Now for old time's sake, we gonna let you grab your little piggy bank

and fly away somewhere, but you are gonna hand us everybody.

Otherwise, you're going down with them.

Feel better.

Hey, Carlito. You mind if I bring these home for my wife?

- It's our anniversary. - Knock yourself out.

( speaking Spanish )

Carlito, please, por favor.

I beg you! No, por favor!

- Nobody's going to get hurt. - Ay, no.

- Carlito? - It's all right.

You know, if you had a brain in your head

you would have took off and gone back to Puerto Rico already.

Some hotshot off the street gonna come in here,

think he do me a favor and light this joint up.

Everybody got to split town.

Buy the ticket,

catch that plane and never come back,

or else your parents gonna be using that money for your funeral.

- I'm staying here, Carlito. - No.

You're going with them.

You gotta take care of your pops.

- No. - In a while, we'll get back together.

- No! - You have to go.

All right?

It's not safe for you here.

Every day I want you to remember one thing:

You're still alive because of me.

You call and let me have your address when you get settled.

I'll come down and see you.

- You promise? - Yeah, of course.

I love you, Carlito.

I love you too.

- No no, Leticia, no! - ( both speaking Spanish )

All of you!

Get in the trunk, you fat fuck.

Hey hey, I got a gun on you, motherfucker!

- All right. - What the fuck--

Hey, Artie! Take a look at this!

Artie, you forgot to take out the goddamned garbage!

Artie? Hey! Hey!

What the fuck you doing? That's my-- get off him!

Hey, Artie! Artie! Artie!

( tires screech )

( doorbell rings )

Anything new?

How do we know it was Reggie?

Artie's wife said three black guys snatched him.

That don't mean nothing.

I listened in on the ransom call.

It was him.

Anybody besides you figure that out?

When Artie comes home they will.

Maybe we get lucky, Reggie buries him in a fucking ditch.

How you doing, Artie?

We paid the money.

Two million cash.

Over an hour ago.

I made the drop. No tail, no stakeout.

We did exactly what they said.

- You think they'd kill my son? - No no, Artie.

Why would they do that?

( sighs )

( phone rings )

Artie Sr: Hello?

We finished counting all the cash.

Ah, good.

I wanted you to have it with no problems.

It's 20 bucks short.

- Huh? - So fuck you very much.

I'm killing this guinea cocksucker.

- Wait. Wait wait wait-- - ( gunshot )

- ( screams ) Wait! - Artie's wife: What? What happened?

( crying )

April Fools, motherfucker.

( pounding )

I don't know if I can do this, you know,

without a body.

You need a body, I'll get you a body.

( door bangs )

Artie? Artie, boy.

( laughing )

Oh! Oh!

You guys must have prayed hard for us.

Carlito: I never thought I'd live to see Old Man Bottolota

throw a hug around this Puerto Rican.

There was about two minutes

before the other shoe came crashing down like a safe.

You fuckers was in on it.

Artie, Charlie wouldn't be here if that were true.

You shut your mouth, Rocco!

If we was in on it, we would have had Reggie kill you,

- don't you think? - They left me there to suffocate!

In the fucking trunk!

If the cops didn't drive by, I'd still be there turning fucking blue!

Artie Sr: Enough!

Maybe you was in on it. Maybe you wasn't.

But Rocco brought you around us.

And then the both of you brought those fucking niggers around.

So you're responsible.

Artie Sr: I'm putting Nacho Reyes on you.

Worked with me in Cuba.

Did more hits than all my guys together.

I'm giving him contracts on you, Rocco and Earl.

And the only way they're going to be cancelled

is if I find three dead niggers on my doorstep!

And my two million back in my pocket.

( speaks Spanish )

How's the food in this joint?

This is a bar. They don't got food here.

Am I talking to you, pendejo? Huh?

Am I fucking talking to you, huh?

Carlito,

I got a contract to kill you.

Pero...

I don't wanna do that.

So we--

we gonna go and find those three fucking cocolos, okay?

Okay?

Carlito: Nacho Reyes,

first-degree stone killer from them old Batista days.

Nacho got himself a bad blow habit.

He only worked two hours a day.

Nacho, I don't want them in the car!

Rest of the time, it's all party and poontang.

Man, you think I cover for that crazy fucking kid?

Him come for me next.

Reggie was asked to leave our organization months ago.

He wanted to bomb police stations.

That's not what this movement's about.

We're about spreading progressive education for the uninformed,

not resorting to methods of violence.

- Look-- - Come on, come on, come on!

Let's go have a fucking drink already.

Carlito: The rate we're going, Reggie and his boys

are gonna die of old age, and me and Rocco a lot sooner.

- Don't touch the car, please! - ( speaks Spanish )

Don't touch my shit.

Nicky, I would never bother you with something like this,

but if we don't find them cats soon,

them crazy-ass Italians are gonna come over

and start shooting up the Black side of Harlem.

Carlito, if you don't find the motherfuckers that snatched Artie's kid,

you the one that's getting shot up.

Yeah well, that too.

As far as the Italians coming my way,

if one of them even sets foot across Lenox Avenue,

the next time you gonna see a live guinea again is on the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

Now, I believe I been very nice about this situation.

I let you and them set up across town from me.

I appreciate that.

'Cause one day you and them Whyos, y'all gonna run out of dope.

And all them junkie motherfuckers y'all raised

are gonna come scurrying over to me like a bunch of starved cockroaches.

If we run out of dope you run out of dope too, Nicky.

I got me a safe house with over three tons of pure Persian.

That's enough to keep this city nada for the next six months.

Artie Bottolota and his son are bunch of cracker-ass scumbags.

I'm gonna wear my best tux to those motherfucker's funerals.

- Nicky! Nicky! - Nicky Nicky Nicky!

And I'm gonna do this for you, Carlito.

- And you gonna owe me. - Appreciate it.

Permiso, Señor Nicky.

You have the most beautiful automobile I've seen in my life.

If I can just drive the car one time around the block,

it would mean the world to me.

( snorts )

Whoo, class A Bolivian, man.

Blow the fur right out of that coat. ( speaks Spanish )

- Carlito. - How you doing?

There's two fuck up kids,

never had a dime between them.

Now they're throwing parties and driving new cars on 137th street.

What's the address?

Address? Don't need an address.

I've got them both in the trunk of my car.

( speaking Spanish )

Hey-hey!

( man screaming )

( muttering in Spanish )

( inhales )

Guy telling me Reggie took off to Barbados to see his brother.

That's bullshit.

Kid ain't getting through customs with two million in cash.

No way, no how.

Well, he's got some girl that lives in the Bronx.

21 Commons Avenue, apartment 3A.

Time to hit the Bronx.

Time to drop both these guys to Artie first. Vamos.

You want to see something, Carlito? Huh?

Here's your guy.

Here's your guy too. Carlito!

Take your guy. Mira!

Here's some more of your guy.

Aye, vamos.

Come on, come on.

Yeeha!

( Nacho speaking Spanish )

Hey, did you see Artie's face when he opened the first bag, Carlito?

( laughs )

Hey, Carlito, I ain't never gonna eat in that fucking joint again.

Come on, let's go, Nacho.

Nacho, come on!

Earl, what the--

Now you know I had nothing to do with this bullshit.

Reggie called me talking about he wanted

to come down to the island and hide out.

I took the first plane, smoking.

There's my ticket. I landed this morning.

- Carlito, don't listen to the fucking cocolo. - Shut the fuck up.

- Reggie, where's the money? - Fuck you.

- Puñeta, where's the money? - Reggie, tell them where the fucking money is!

- Just give it up and we'll let you walk. - Nobody letting nobody walk.

- ( Nacho speaks Spanish ) - Reggie, there's six guys downstairs.

You kill us, you're still not making it out of this building.

Tell me where the money is,

I'll cook up a story for Artie and let you go.

Reggie, listen to him. This is your last out.

- I'm supposed to believe that shit? - Listen to him!

- I'm trying to help you out, Reggie. - Fuck you, Carlito.

You said next time you see me gonna be bad.

Well, you shouldn't have came looking then,

- 'cause you dying first. - Reggie.

- Earl: Reggie! - ( gunshot )

Earl.

Just let me be, man. Let me be.

Come on, Carlito.

Let's take this cocolo and put him on a meat hook.

He'll tell us where the money is.

He don't know where the money is, Nacho.

On a meat hook, he will know.

Carlito: He don't know nothing about no money, all right?

Just tell Artie Earl never showed up.

You know I can't do that, Carlito.

Walk away, Nacho.

Just walk the fuck away!

Papito, don't forget

I got a contract for you too.

Kill me then.

Kill us both.

If that's what I have to do,

that's what I have to do.

Well then come on, motherfucker!

You want to go to hell? Let's all three go to fucking hell!

Pull the fucking trigger!

( sighs )

Carlito, Carlito.

You listen to Nacho.

This loyalty

that you have for your friends,

it's rare in this business.

But someday, it's gonna get you killed.

Adios, Carlito.

Adios.

Ain't nobody gonna find that money.

Reggie's got it buried someplace.

You got to get on the plane with me.

I do that they kill Rocco.

They'll kill you and Rocco whether you give them

the two million or not, you know that.

We all got to get on that fucking plane.

Rocco's got family here.

Running going to buy some time,

but it ain't gonna buy us forever.

I do not give a shit if you knock over Fort Knox.

If I don't get my two million back before the week's out,

your testicles are going to be

jammed in your eye sockets.

You get that?

In your fucking eye sockets!

How much you got stashed, Charlie?

A little over half a mil.

All right, I got 600.

Suppose we throw it together and make $1 million down payment to Artie?

Tell him we'll get him the rest.

I wouldn't give Artie Bottolota a nickel

for a fucking parking meter.

He should have kept his two mil, let Reggie whack Artie Jr.

There'd be one less scumbag hanging off the Bottolota family tree.

That's real insightful, Charlie. I'll let him know.

- Where you going? - Someplace I can think.

Make out my will.

Carlito: Now you figure,

why not just whack Artie and his boys?

Kill one of them wiseguys, you got to kill 100.

They just keep coming after you.

Got to come up with that two million, Jack.

- Artie: 30 million? - That's wholesale.

You start cutting this shit up, it's worth 10 times that.

- Maybe more. - You're gonna bring down Hollywood Nicky?

Look, he's got three tons of pure

uncut heroin stashed in his safe house.

- Charlie, nobody knows where that is. - I do.

- Yeah, how's that? - Earl told me a while back.

Earl? You're trading tips from the nigger

that probably ended up with my two million.

You know something, Carlito?

- Suck on this! - Whoa, Pop!

Hold on! Hold on!

Listen, we clean out Hollywood Nicky,

that's the end of his business.

All them junkies come running over to you, Artie. You'd be the kingpin.

Now you want to start a ten-year war between us and the blacks?

The Italians ain't taking down Hollywood Nicky.

- The Puerto Ricans are. - It's not a bad idea, Pop.

Look, you don't like the idea, pull the trigger.

You ain't never gonna see your money again.

Okay, now the cut dope goes out in laundry trucks every day.

The new dope goes in the same way twice a week.

Tuesdays and Fridays, noon sharp.

Now we're gonna boost one of the delivery trucks like half a mile from here.

We're gonna whack the driver and make the delivery.

Only instead of 50 keys of junk it's gonna be me,

Colorado and about 20 other guys.

Now there's just five armed guards that work inside that place.

They're all relatives, people Hollywood Nicky trusts.

All we got to do is kill them all and take it all.

So what do you think?

What do I think?

Make the score.

Should have been here two hours ago.

Yeah, that's 'cause Hollywood Nicky's throwing dirt over them by now.

Now you can take care of the two million on your own.

( car horn honks rapidly )

( door opening )

Baba, that's some good shit.

Atta boy. You did great.

Our cut should be half of what's there.

Half? You can have the whole thing.

At wholesale.

10 grand a key.

( laughs )

Artie, you got to be kidding me.

- Fuck you. - Fuck you.

You two work for us.

Get the spic squad in gear and start moving all that shit.

- See you later, fellas. - ( all laugh )

( car starts )

Okay. To us.

- We're gonna be rich, Pop. - We are rich.

( loud pounding )

- What the fuck is that? - Motherfucker.

It's Hollywood Nicky!

( guns firing in distance )

What the hell was that?

I don't know.

( police radio chatter )

( sirens wailing )

Want to go back?

You crazy? Let's get out of here.

What's going on, fellas?

Thought I had a flat.

Don't look flat.

Heard on the radio they just found your boys

up the road in that meat packing house

with about 10,000 pounds of heroin.

- They arrest everybody? - Wouldn't come peacefully.

Now they're all getting measured for rubber bags.

Mind if I check your trunk?

Be my guest.

What's this?

That's a whole lot of money.

200 grand. 100 in each bag.

Pleasure doing business with you, Carlito.

Pleasure was all mine.

Little Jeff: Good luck, fellas.

You son of a bitch.

- Thank you, gentlemen. - No prisoners on this one, Jack.

- Just corpses. - ( laughs )

You son of a bitch.

Come on, Rocco, it's not like we turned into stools.

You ain't got a problem with us hiring a couple cops

to do a little killing on our behalf, do you?

200 grand?

That's a world record ever paid for a hit.

( all laughing )

Let's get the fuck out of here.

Carlito: Big Jeff and Little Jeff wound up with a chest full of medals

for taking out the whole Bottolota crew.

And the big war between Hollywood Nicky and the Puerto Ricans

never got declared.

Me and Earl went to Nicky at the get go.

Told him my idea.

'Cause all we handed over to Artie and his boys

were 20 pounds of heroin sprinkled over the top

of 5,980 pounds of baby laxative.

But the guys who checked the evidence

aren't real big connoisseurs of dope.

They just clock what's on the scale.

Sure hope nobody tries getting high off that shit.

They'll have to cook up a whole kilo just to catch a buzz.

I dig that idea so much

I ain't even gonna charge you for the 20 pounds of real dope.

Out of sight, brother.

Just call it my contribution toward planetary improvement.

We appreciate it.

You're not getting in my car with that fried fish.

I'm just gonna keep it for later.

You're not getting in the car with that stinking ass fish.

Come on, I got to go home get changed.

Move your fat ass.

Hey guys, y'all want to go to the fight tonight? Ringside.

Maybe next time.

Hey, Nicky. Thanks for everything.

Anytime, baby.

- Man, you know I got low blood sugar - Get your ass in the car.

- We did it. - No, you did it.

Carlito: Being retired I had a lot of time on my hands.

So Earl dragged me down to Barbados

to help him get ready for his wedding.

This is gonna be the ceremony right here.

You gonna have me and Rocco stand on the beach all day in tuxedos?

What you complaining about? Come here.

Carlito: Earl's right.

It's paradise down here.

Only one thing missing.

Maybe it's time for me to do like Earl.

Shake loose.

No more walking on the wild side for me, Jack.

Carlito...

I done changed.

Reformed.

Retired my ass to paradise.

Yeah, baby.

Paradise.

Only thing gonna drive me crazy,

is never knowing what happened with Artie's two million.

Nacho: When you got them hanging on the meat hook,

they tell you everything.

( funk music playing )

♪ Woo! Baby! ♪

♪ Lord, oh Lord ♪

♪ Uh, uh, uh, uh ♪

♪ Uh, uh, oh! ♪

♪ It takes sunshine and the rain ♪

♪ To keep a flower growing ♪

♪ Kill me now ♪

♪ But all I need is your good loving ♪

♪ Baby, to keep me going ♪

♪ So don't go and do it to me ♪

♪ You give a baby a pacifier ♪

♪ Instead of a bottle ♪

♪ Sometimes to stop it's crying ♪

♪ Yes, you do now ♪

♪ But for me a substitute won't do ♪

♪ Your love is the only thing I find satisfying ♪

♪ Oh baby ♪

♪ You got a funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it, come on, give it to me ♪

♪ You got a funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it, uh! ♪

♪ Oh baby ♪

♪ Woo, it's so good to me ♪

♪ Oh, Lord ♪

♪ Uhn! Uhn! Uhn! Oh! ♪

♪ You're so foxy, funky, fly, you're fly ♪

♪ And you got everything I need ♪

♪ Your fly self, oh baby ♪

♪ Come on, girl, with your fly self ♪

♪ And give me what I need ♪

♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ You know sometimes it takes two women ♪

♪ Just to satisfy one man ♪

♪ Yes, it do now, but, baby ♪

♪ With your fine, foxy, funky self ♪

♪ Girl, you don't need no woman's help ♪

♪ 'Cause, baby ♪

♪ You got a funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it, give it to me right now ♪

♪ A funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it ♪

♪ Oh! Lord! ♪

♪ Do it to me! Give it to me! ♪

♪ Uhn! Uhn! Uhn! ♪

♪ Baby! Whoa! ♪

♪ I ain't never never never never never ♪

♪ Never before felt like this ♪

♪ Funky fine, oh baby ♪

♪ I get a burning smoke from that funky fire ♪

♪ In your every kiss ♪

♪ Oh baby, let me tell you, baby ♪

♪ You got a funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it, oh! ♪

♪ You got a funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it, oh! ♪

♪ You got a funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it, oh, do it to me ♪

♪ You got a funky funky funky way of making love ♪

♪ And I like it, oh! ♪

( salsa music playing )