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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:06,879 --> 00:00:11,879 Subtitles by explosiveskull 2 00:00:13,487 --> 00:00:16,625 (MUSIC PLAYING) 3 00:00:31,304 --> 00:00:34,540 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) So, what can I tell you about Eve Wilde... 4 00:00:34,542 --> 00:00:36,208 that you don't already know? 5 00:00:36,210 --> 00:00:37,976 Well, for starters... 6 00:00:37,978 --> 00:00:40,144 she absolutely hates being called "Grandma"... 7 00:00:40,146 --> 00:00:42,247 or "Grandmother" or anything with "Grand" in it. 8 00:00:42,249 --> 00:00:45,384 So, she's just plain old Eve to both you and me. 9 00:00:45,386 --> 00:00:47,119 Oh. 10 00:00:47,121 --> 00:00:50,221 You probably do know she's been married before. 11 00:00:50,223 --> 00:00:52,156 Right? 12 00:00:52,158 --> 00:00:54,025 But the only one you really need to pay attention to... 13 00:00:54,027 --> 00:00:57,329 is Laurence, Husband Number One and my personal favorite... 14 00:00:57,331 --> 00:00:59,498 because, he is technically my grandpa. 15 00:00:59,500 --> 00:01:01,065 But guess what? 16 00:01:01,067 --> 00:01:05,371 I can't call him that, either. Actors. 17 00:01:05,373 --> 00:01:07,439 Eve and Laurence met in New York... 18 00:01:07,441 --> 00:01:11,642 where Laurence was studying to be a famous actor. 19 00:01:11,644 --> 00:01:14,145 And Eve wanted to be an actress... 20 00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:17,615 but well, you know how that ol' chestnut goes. 21 00:01:17,617 --> 00:01:21,085 Life's what happens while you're busy making plans. 22 00:01:21,087 --> 00:01:24,523 Laurence got cast as the lead in this big comedy... 23 00:01:24,525 --> 00:01:26,258 and he got Eve a part in it, too... 24 00:01:26,260 --> 00:01:28,160 which was super-cool of him. 25 00:01:28,162 --> 00:01:30,461 But when the film came out, all of the reviews said... 26 00:01:30,463 --> 00:01:33,398 "Hello. A star is born". 27 00:01:33,400 --> 00:01:36,234 But, they weren't talking about Laurence. 28 00:01:36,236 --> 00:01:40,238 By the time Eve was one of the biggest stars in the world... 29 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:42,041 she and Laurence were exchanging... 30 00:01:42,043 --> 00:01:44,142 humorous divorce gifts. 31 00:01:44,144 --> 00:01:47,046 A silver cowbell for Eve to wear around her neck... 32 00:01:47,048 --> 00:01:48,814 so Laurence would always know she was coming. 33 00:01:48,816 --> 00:01:50,716 A birdcage for Laurence... 34 00:01:50,718 --> 00:01:53,618 so that the next Mrs. Darling couldn't get away. 35 00:01:53,620 --> 00:01:55,353 I'd say Eve is on the whole... 36 00:01:55,355 --> 00:01:57,288 what you'd call a positive person. 37 00:01:57,290 --> 00:02:00,392 She says that her whole life has been one long fairytale... 38 00:02:00,394 --> 00:02:02,326 and everything. 39 00:02:02,328 --> 00:02:05,064 But I might just disagree with Eve here. 40 00:02:05,066 --> 00:02:08,500 I might say, in everything, except love... 41 00:02:08,502 --> 00:02:11,470 which frankly, if you knew the family... 42 00:02:11,472 --> 00:02:14,442 would be considered the family "hurdle." 43 00:02:15,709 --> 00:02:17,545 But all that was about to change. 44 00:02:20,848 --> 00:02:23,715 Like the lightning that precedes thunder... 45 00:02:23,717 --> 00:02:28,086 my eyes took in what my heart knew an instant later... 46 00:02:28,088 --> 00:02:30,655 that this was love. 47 00:02:30,657 --> 00:02:33,060 Love at first sight. 48 00:02:41,268 --> 00:02:45,237 (MUSIC CHANGES) 49 00:02:45,239 --> 00:02:47,773 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) So I'm making a film for Eve of the weekend. 50 00:02:47,775 --> 00:02:49,308 It's my wedding gift. 51 00:02:49,310 --> 00:02:51,275 And from prior experience... 52 00:02:51,277 --> 00:02:53,879 I can say it'll have a little bit of all the genres... 53 00:02:53,881 --> 00:02:58,684 comedy, drama, musical, and of course documentary... 54 00:02:58,686 --> 00:03:00,352 which is my forte because... 55 00:03:00,354 --> 00:03:03,187 I like to think I ask the tough questions. 56 00:03:03,189 --> 00:03:04,889 I bet it was the Swedish nanny... 57 00:03:04,891 --> 00:03:06,424 who jumped you when you were like 16. 58 00:03:06,426 --> 00:03:07,859 Excuse me? 59 00:03:07,861 --> 00:03:10,495 Mom told me. She said that girl was totally your type. 60 00:03:10,497 --> 00:03:12,163 Bad girl. 61 00:03:12,165 --> 00:03:14,766 Oh my god. Mackenzie, that is so inappropriate. 62 00:03:14,768 --> 00:03:16,802 Come on, it was the Swedish nanny, right? 63 00:03:16,804 --> 00:03:20,471 Actually, my first love was... 64 00:03:20,473 --> 00:03:23,341 My first love... 65 00:03:23,343 --> 00:03:26,578 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) Okay, so he's doing this whole drum-roll... 66 00:03:26,580 --> 00:03:29,648 thing because deep down, he wants to say it was my mom... 67 00:03:29,650 --> 00:03:33,217 but instead, he's just trying to think of something funny. 68 00:03:33,219 --> 00:03:36,187 That's my mom and dad in this band they had. 69 00:03:36,189 --> 00:03:39,157 Mom said there were a lot of guys... 70 00:03:39,159 --> 00:03:43,195 trying to get her attention, but she only had eyes for him. 71 00:03:43,197 --> 00:03:47,332 She said he wrote the most dreamy music. 72 00:03:47,334 --> 00:03:51,703 Thing is, he still does, just not for her. 73 00:03:51,705 --> 00:03:57,643 My first love was a crème brulée... 74 00:03:57,645 --> 00:04:00,345 that I had in the south of France when I was 12. 75 00:04:00,347 --> 00:04:02,580 You're so emotionally retarded, Dad. 76 00:04:02,582 --> 00:04:05,517 - Thank you. All right, hang on. - (CELL PHONE RINGING) 77 00:04:05,519 --> 00:04:07,185 Hey, Jimmy. 78 00:04:07,187 --> 00:04:08,286 [JIMMY] (OVER PHONE) I'm patchin' Ethan in. 79 00:04:08,288 --> 00:04:09,922 - Okay. - But I got everything... 80 00:04:09,924 --> 00:04:12,590 all of Harold's numbers, bank accounts, loans, debts... 81 00:04:12,592 --> 00:04:14,326 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) My Uncle Jimmy has fallen in love... 82 00:04:14,328 --> 00:04:16,428 like a gazillion times. 83 00:04:16,430 --> 00:04:18,296 He says he's a romantic. 84 00:04:18,298 --> 00:04:19,897 - Look. - [RORY] (OVER PHONE) Jimmy? 85 00:04:19,899 --> 00:04:21,899 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) There he goes again. 86 00:04:21,901 --> 00:04:24,435 [RORY] (OVER PHONE) Jimmy? Jimmy, you there? 87 00:04:24,437 --> 00:04:26,904 Sorry, what? Sorry, where was I? 88 00:04:26,906 --> 00:04:28,673 [RORY] (OVER PHONE) Having your suspicions confirmed. 89 00:04:28,675 --> 00:04:31,776 Right, confirming my suspicion that people who write serious... 90 00:04:31,778 --> 00:04:35,247 novels have a relatively small pot to piss in. 91 00:04:35,249 --> 00:04:36,582 Which is why this fucking prenup is a whole... 92 00:04:36,584 --> 00:04:37,949 Dad! 93 00:04:37,951 --> 00:04:39,450 - Hey, honey! - Hi, Dad. 94 00:04:39,452 --> 00:04:41,485 Your bus was very late. 95 00:04:41,487 --> 00:04:44,423 Yeah, I know. I was on it. Dad, this is Pink. 96 00:04:44,425 --> 00:04:47,558 - Pink? - Hey, dude. 97 00:04:47,560 --> 00:04:50,461 She's coming with us for the weekend. 98 00:04:50,463 --> 00:04:52,697 Well, honey, it's kind of a special weekend... 99 00:04:52,699 --> 00:04:53,966 don't you think? 100 00:04:53,968 --> 00:04:55,433 Well, I brought a friend to her last wedding. 101 00:04:55,435 --> 00:04:56,767 But you were five. 102 00:04:56,769 --> 00:04:58,002 I brought a friend at your last wedding. 103 00:04:58,004 --> 00:04:59,904 Thanks, babe. 104 00:04:59,906 --> 00:05:01,973 Please, I finally erased that whole debacle from my memory. 105 00:05:01,975 --> 00:05:03,574 Where's the car? 106 00:05:03,576 --> 00:05:05,480 - Right there. - Come on. 107 00:05:06,579 --> 00:05:08,346 Hello? 108 00:05:08,348 --> 00:05:09,447 Where the hell's Ethan? 109 00:05:09,449 --> 00:05:12,416 (MOANING) 110 00:05:12,418 --> 00:05:14,418 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) My Uncle Ethan says... 111 00:05:14,420 --> 00:05:16,557 he's never getting married. 112 00:05:18,692 --> 00:05:21,228 Oh! Fuck, my god! 113 00:05:23,663 --> 00:05:25,296 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) He says, why would he... 114 00:05:25,298 --> 00:05:27,265 with all the interesting people... 115 00:05:27,267 --> 00:05:29,334 he meets on social media these days? 116 00:05:29,336 --> 00:05:31,306 Good boy, Yoyo. Good boy. 117 00:05:33,007 --> 00:05:37,276 Oh, hey, Guy. Yeah. You heard the new tracks? 118 00:05:37,278 --> 00:05:39,444 Okay, so I'm gonna have the number one album... 119 00:05:39,446 --> 00:05:40,646 and the number one tour... 120 00:05:40,648 --> 00:05:41,747 if you pull your finger out of your ass. 121 00:05:41,749 --> 00:05:43,918 Do your job. I want arenas. 122 00:05:45,019 --> 00:05:47,685 - Oh, honey, look, look. - No. 123 00:05:47,687 --> 00:05:48,986 - Mom, please! - Yes, yes, yes. 124 00:05:48,988 --> 00:05:51,757 Hey, can you pull over? Yes, yes, right here. 125 00:05:51,759 --> 00:05:53,659 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) The problem is that when... 126 00:05:53,661 --> 00:05:56,560 it comes to relationships, examples have to be set. 127 00:05:56,562 --> 00:05:58,964 But in my case, the adults setting them... 128 00:05:58,966 --> 00:06:03,271 are quite possibly the worst examples known to man. 129 00:06:05,838 --> 00:06:08,440 Mom, Mom, that slope near the boathouse... 130 00:06:08,442 --> 00:06:11,642 somebody's gonna go ass over backwards into a lawsuit. 131 00:06:11,644 --> 00:06:14,478 Well, it leads down to the lake. I don't want to board it up. 132 00:06:14,480 --> 00:06:16,447 Well, can we at least put up a couple of signs? 133 00:06:16,449 --> 00:06:20,452 Al, could you make up a couple of signs that say... 134 00:06:20,454 --> 00:06:21,752 "Beware of Steep Slope"? 135 00:06:21,754 --> 00:06:23,587 - A sign? - [PRISCILLA] Hello. 136 00:06:23,589 --> 00:06:24,822 - Yeah, a sign's gonna save us... - Oh, you're here. 137 00:06:24,824 --> 00:06:26,324 a million dollars if someone falls... 138 00:06:26,326 --> 00:06:27,928 - We're in here, Mom! - Hi. 139 00:06:29,028 --> 00:06:30,762 Sam. 140 00:06:30,764 --> 00:06:32,497 Oh... Sam can't pass a vintage clothing store... 141 00:06:32,499 --> 00:06:33,764 without begging me to stop. 142 00:06:33,766 --> 00:06:34,968 - Hello, darling. - What's up, buddy? 143 00:06:37,338 --> 00:06:39,671 Oh, that's for you. Come sit down. 144 00:06:39,673 --> 00:06:41,440 - You look beautiful. - Thank you. 145 00:06:41,442 --> 00:06:42,841 Sam, just do what I do. 146 00:06:42,843 --> 00:06:44,675 I donate all the clothes Mom gives me. 147 00:06:44,677 --> 00:06:48,079 I think your mother has a charming fashion sense. 148 00:06:48,081 --> 00:06:49,380 So do I. 149 00:06:49,382 --> 00:06:51,082 - This is lovely. - Yeah. 150 00:06:51,084 --> 00:06:54,652 Sam! Tell me, how is your father? 151 00:06:54,654 --> 00:06:56,555 He's in Miami. 152 00:06:56,557 --> 00:06:58,824 Yeah. Sebastian and I broke up. 153 00:06:58,826 --> 00:07:00,091 Why? 154 00:07:00,093 --> 00:07:01,959 Well, you know, it was either that... 155 00:07:01,961 --> 00:07:03,127 or I was gonna strangle him. 156 00:07:03,129 --> 00:07:04,865 Sure, the go-to options. 157 00:07:06,500 --> 00:07:09,000 - [MACKENZIE] So, Eve. - Mm-hm. 158 00:07:09,002 --> 00:07:11,673 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) What can you tell us about your first love? 159 00:07:15,776 --> 00:07:17,743 Oh. 160 00:07:17,745 --> 00:07:22,714 There was a beautiful boy, Cosmo. 161 00:07:22,716 --> 00:07:25,584 He was the reason I joined the theater class... 162 00:07:25,586 --> 00:07:27,017 where I met Laurence. 163 00:07:27,019 --> 00:07:30,055 Of course, Cosmo wasn't interested in girls. 164 00:07:30,057 --> 00:07:34,659 Yeah, duh. Of course, his name is "Cosmo." 165 00:07:34,661 --> 00:07:39,063 All right, so what, your first love was Laurence? 166 00:07:39,065 --> 00:07:42,601 I remember the first time Laurence and I rehearsed. 167 00:07:42,603 --> 00:07:49,408 He looked at me with that smoldering stare that he has. 168 00:07:49,410 --> 00:07:51,846 I mean, you know, you know the one. 169 00:07:52,980 --> 00:07:54,812 I know it well. 170 00:07:54,814 --> 00:07:59,784 And it was, "Goodbye Cosmo..." "Hello Laurence." 171 00:07:59,786 --> 00:08:02,856 (MUSIC PLAYING) 172 00:08:07,761 --> 00:08:10,428 ♪ It's scratchy songs that earn you fame ♪ 173 00:08:10,430 --> 00:08:13,697 [EVE] (V.O.) Now of course, Laurence has had the career... 174 00:08:13,699 --> 00:08:16,968 every actor would dream of having... 175 00:08:16,970 --> 00:08:20,005 unless of course, you're Laurence Darling. 176 00:08:20,007 --> 00:08:24,709 He's recognized as a great actor. 177 00:08:24,711 --> 00:08:28,846 I'm just a simple movie star. 178 00:08:28,848 --> 00:08:32,854 And he could find that very annoying. 179 00:08:41,794 --> 00:08:43,127 Morning. 180 00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:44,731 Morning. 181 00:08:51,672 --> 00:08:54,841 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 182 00:09:08,154 --> 00:09:10,855 - Boys, boys, boys. - Dad! 183 00:09:10,857 --> 00:09:14,559 It's so good to see you. Why isn't it more often? 184 00:09:14,561 --> 00:09:16,594 Probably 'cause you never return any of our calls. 185 00:09:16,596 --> 00:09:17,863 Dad, Dad, Dad. 186 00:09:17,865 --> 00:09:20,131 It was a rhetorical question, James. 187 00:09:20,133 --> 00:09:23,033 We all have such busy lives now. 188 00:09:23,035 --> 00:09:24,802 Laurence. 189 00:09:24,804 --> 00:09:27,539 - The Lady Eve. - How are you? 190 00:09:27,541 --> 00:09:29,510 I am grand. 191 00:09:30,977 --> 00:09:34,646 I have come to see you off again. 192 00:09:34,648 --> 00:09:37,114 Maybe we'll get it right this time. 193 00:09:37,116 --> 00:09:39,084 That's why I'm here, to make sure that... 194 00:09:39,086 --> 00:09:40,951 this one is a keeper. 195 00:09:40,953 --> 00:09:42,686 You are so thoughtful... 196 00:09:42,688 --> 00:09:45,223 as if you'd have any idea what a keeper was. 197 00:09:45,225 --> 00:09:46,992 [PRISCILLA] Laurence! 198 00:09:46,994 --> 00:09:50,295 I'm sensing a theme here. 199 00:09:50,297 --> 00:09:53,031 Are all the exes invited? 200 00:09:53,033 --> 00:09:54,965 Just the ones Mom likes. 201 00:09:54,967 --> 00:09:56,300 And they're still alive. 202 00:09:56,302 --> 00:09:59,603 Well, I'm glad I still qualify. 203 00:09:59,605 --> 00:10:01,805 Has the great man arrived? 204 00:10:01,807 --> 00:10:06,677 Not yet. His sense of timing's even better than yours. 205 00:10:06,679 --> 00:10:08,949 Upstaged again? 206 00:10:14,754 --> 00:10:17,222 [ROSE] Bad girls? 207 00:10:17,224 --> 00:10:20,090 Right. Bad Girls, Bad Girls... 208 00:10:20,092 --> 00:10:22,993 Dad, come on. It was one of her biggest hits. 209 00:10:22,995 --> 00:10:24,762 Oh yeah, got it. 210 00:10:24,764 --> 00:10:29,133 Eve steals into a prison... an Indonesian prison... 211 00:10:29,135 --> 00:10:31,736 to save her daughter, who's wrongly accused of murder. 212 00:10:31,738 --> 00:10:34,104 Okay, and, it ends? 213 00:10:34,106 --> 00:10:35,543 Oh, fuck... 214 00:10:36,777 --> 00:10:40,911 Hang on, just a minute. Oh. Yes. 215 00:10:40,913 --> 00:10:44,682 It turns out, the daughter actually did it... 216 00:10:44,684 --> 00:10:46,751 but Eve takes her place on the scaffold anyway. 217 00:10:46,753 --> 00:10:48,954 Actually, it's a rip-off of Tale of Two Cities. 218 00:10:48,956 --> 00:10:50,789 Dad, I think it's very romantic... 219 00:10:50,791 --> 00:10:53,291 that you're going to all this effort. 220 00:10:53,293 --> 00:10:54,959 Thank you, Clemmie. 221 00:10:54,961 --> 00:10:59,033 Romantic? He's an absolute bloody miracle. 222 00:11:10,376 --> 00:11:13,945 ♪ You're an angel from up above ♪ 223 00:11:13,947 --> 00:11:16,348 ♪ Send down to give me love ♪ 224 00:11:16,350 --> 00:11:17,951 [CLEMENTINE] Dad? 225 00:11:19,952 --> 00:11:21,621 Dad. 226 00:11:22,822 --> 00:11:24,191 I'm sorry. 227 00:11:37,837 --> 00:11:39,240 It's a big day here. 228 00:11:41,008 --> 00:11:43,708 - Waiting for Harold. - It's a very good day. 229 00:11:43,710 --> 00:11:45,910 Harold, man. Oh. 230 00:11:45,912 --> 00:11:48,179 [MACKENZIE] Mum. Mummy. 231 00:11:48,181 --> 00:11:49,714 Hey, hey, hey. 232 00:11:49,716 --> 00:11:52,349 [ETHAN] Here they come. Here they come. 233 00:11:52,351 --> 00:11:53,818 Oh, he's goin' around the wrong way. 234 00:11:53,820 --> 00:11:56,887 (HORN HONKING) 235 00:11:56,889 --> 00:11:59,991 [EVE] All right, everyone, behave, behave. 236 00:11:59,993 --> 00:12:01,959 [ETHAN] Our new family. 237 00:12:01,961 --> 00:12:03,163 Four. 238 00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:07,701 Welcome! Welcome! 239 00:12:09,068 --> 00:12:11,171 And there's number five. 240 00:12:13,306 --> 00:12:15,843 Oh. Right! 241 00:12:16,874 --> 00:12:17,675 This is my daughter, Clemmie. 242 00:12:17,677 --> 00:12:19,310 - Hello, Clemmie... - Hi. 243 00:12:19,312 --> 00:12:20,679 - I've heard so much about you. - Lovely to meet you. 244 00:12:20,681 --> 00:12:21,845 - My daughter, Rose. - Hi. 245 00:12:21,847 --> 00:12:23,882 Rose, yes. 246 00:12:23,884 --> 00:12:27,451 And this is Rose's friend, and almost third daughter... 247 00:12:27,453 --> 00:12:30,055 - Saffron. - Hello. 248 00:12:30,057 --> 00:12:31,422 - Come meet my family. - Yeah. 249 00:12:31,424 --> 00:12:33,057 - There's Jimmy, my oldest. - Hey, Jimmy. 250 00:12:33,059 --> 00:12:34,158 - James. - James. 251 00:12:34,160 --> 00:12:35,259 - And then Rory. - How are ya? 252 00:12:35,261 --> 00:12:36,427 - Hi, Rory. - Ethan. 253 00:12:36,429 --> 00:12:37,829 Yeah, Ethan. 254 00:12:37,831 --> 00:12:39,263 Back there with the camera is Mackenzie. 255 00:12:39,265 --> 00:12:40,831 - Hi, Mackenzie. - Whose mother is Priscilla... 256 00:12:40,833 --> 00:12:42,233 - who was married to Rory. - Priscilla. 257 00:12:42,235 --> 00:12:45,236 [EVE] And here's Sam. 258 00:12:45,238 --> 00:12:48,940 You are doing...? Hi. 259 00:12:48,942 --> 00:12:50,340 My daughter, Mackenzie. 260 00:12:50,342 --> 00:12:52,076 - [HAROLD] We got Lara. - Hi, Mackenzie. 261 00:12:52,078 --> 00:12:54,813 - Hi, Mackenzie. Nice to see you. - Hi. 262 00:12:54,815 --> 00:12:57,949 [EVE] My nephew, Dylan, my brother's son... 263 00:12:57,951 --> 00:12:59,917 who sadly couldn't be here. 264 00:12:59,919 --> 00:13:01,252 - And. - You're who? 265 00:13:01,254 --> 00:13:02,454 - Dylan. - Dylan, hi. 266 00:13:02,456 --> 00:13:06,257 And, Laurence, the father of my sons. 267 00:13:06,259 --> 00:13:08,993 And Husband Number One, what a great pleasure. 268 00:13:08,995 --> 00:13:10,462 I am a big fan. 269 00:13:10,464 --> 00:13:13,031 The pleasure is all mine. I'm a bigger fan. 270 00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:14,364 (MUSIC PLAYING) 271 00:13:14,366 --> 00:13:16,033 So you guys are in here. 272 00:13:16,035 --> 00:13:17,835 Oh, thank you very much. 273 00:13:17,837 --> 00:13:19,337 [MACKENZIE] (V.O) According to Wikipedia... 274 00:13:19,339 --> 00:13:22,272 "Harold Alcott writes novels about love... 275 00:13:22,274 --> 00:13:24,908 "that are tragically comedic." 276 00:13:24,910 --> 00:13:28,479 Which means, he's gonna fit right in with this family. 277 00:13:28,481 --> 00:13:29,848 I missed you. 278 00:13:29,850 --> 00:13:31,315 Well, that's your fault. 279 00:13:31,317 --> 00:13:32,816 It's because you have so many books to pack. 280 00:13:32,818 --> 00:13:34,252 Well, I'm a writer. 281 00:13:34,254 --> 00:13:36,087 Just as long as you have that book... 282 00:13:36,089 --> 00:13:37,756 with the pictures that we like. 283 00:13:37,758 --> 00:13:39,257 Oh... 284 00:13:39,259 --> 00:13:43,228 the Pompeian Bathhouses, yeah, those saucy Romans. 285 00:13:43,230 --> 00:13:45,700 - I brought it in my hand luggage. - Mm. 286 00:13:47,466 --> 00:13:50,937 Get out. Stop it... 287 00:13:53,072 --> 00:13:55,473 Oh. 288 00:13:55,475 --> 00:13:58,475 Did the cat get the cream? 289 00:13:58,477 --> 00:14:00,011 What cream? 290 00:14:00,013 --> 00:14:01,212 Silver Fox. 291 00:14:01,214 --> 00:14:03,046 Major hottie... for an old guy. 292 00:14:03,048 --> 00:14:05,916 Oh, you know, hang on here, you guys. 293 00:14:05,918 --> 00:14:08,987 You make me sound so... so superficial... 294 00:14:08,989 --> 00:14:12,489 like it's all about his granted good looks, and not about his... 295 00:14:12,491 --> 00:14:15,096 big whoopee-doo-doo. 296 00:14:17,197 --> 00:14:19,363 Do I really have to hear this? 297 00:14:19,365 --> 00:14:21,132 Did I wanna hear about you and Priscilla... 298 00:14:21,134 --> 00:14:22,467 and the best sex of all time? 299 00:14:22,469 --> 00:14:23,834 Hey, hey, hey! 300 00:14:23,836 --> 00:14:25,536 I never said that. 301 00:14:25,538 --> 00:14:27,171 - Really? - Really? 302 00:14:27,173 --> 00:14:30,108 Do not repeat that to Mackenzie. Do not! 303 00:14:30,110 --> 00:14:32,176 It wasn't the greatest sex of my life... 304 00:14:32,178 --> 00:14:34,912 it was the greatest sex of his. 305 00:14:34,914 --> 00:14:36,750 Seriously? 306 00:14:40,287 --> 00:14:42,052 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 307 00:14:42,054 --> 00:14:43,490 Hello? 308 00:14:44,924 --> 00:14:46,391 Hello? Hi, yes. 309 00:14:46,393 --> 00:14:49,393 I'm trying to track down an employee of yours. 310 00:14:49,395 --> 00:14:53,864 She drove the Montauk bus yesterday that arrived at 11:45. 311 00:14:53,866 --> 00:14:55,566 Actually, I say it arrived at 11:45... 312 00:14:55,568 --> 00:14:58,268 but in point-in-fact, it was very, very late. 313 00:14:58,270 --> 00:15:02,306 Why do I wish to contact her? Is that any business of yours? 314 00:15:02,308 --> 00:15:05,980 I mean, I could be an estate attorney. 315 00:15:09,416 --> 00:15:12,116 [MACKENZIE] So, what does marriage mean to you? 316 00:15:12,118 --> 00:15:14,585 What's your experience with that? 317 00:15:14,587 --> 00:15:16,054 (CLEARS THROAT) 318 00:15:16,056 --> 00:15:20,425 Uh... well... 319 00:15:20,427 --> 00:15:23,527 my parents fighting... people getting divorced. 320 00:15:23,529 --> 00:15:25,463 Whoa, okay. 321 00:15:25,465 --> 00:15:29,136 You're being a little bit of a Debbie Downer here. All right? 322 00:15:33,273 --> 00:15:36,406 What about first love? 323 00:15:36,408 --> 00:15:39,444 What's your experience with that? 324 00:15:39,446 --> 00:15:41,215 First love? 325 00:15:43,450 --> 00:15:45,282 Let me give that some thought. 326 00:15:45,284 --> 00:15:48,051 Dylan! Dylan, I'm still filming! 327 00:15:48,053 --> 00:15:49,456 (WATER SPLASHING) 328 00:15:52,458 --> 00:15:54,224 [MACKENZIE] Dylan. 329 00:15:54,226 --> 00:15:56,594 Girls, you know that crazy, warm sensation you get... 330 00:15:56,596 --> 00:16:00,031 when you cross your legs and squeeze really tight? 331 00:16:00,033 --> 00:16:01,431 Well, the first time I had that... 332 00:16:01,433 --> 00:16:05,203 the weirdo in me was thinking about Dylan. 333 00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:07,604 But, what would, of course, get tongues wagging... 334 00:16:07,606 --> 00:16:13,210 around these parts is that, Dylan and I are... 335 00:16:13,212 --> 00:16:15,512 technically first cousins. 336 00:16:15,514 --> 00:16:17,382 But first cousins once-removed. 337 00:16:17,384 --> 00:16:20,484 So, there's like a 3% chance our kids would have like... 338 00:16:20,486 --> 00:16:22,286 15 fingers and three eyes. 339 00:16:22,288 --> 00:16:25,192 (MUSIC PLAYING) 340 00:16:27,159 --> 00:16:30,994 Okay, the first love question was a bit leading... 341 00:16:30,996 --> 00:16:33,464 as Dylan and I have already kissed. 342 00:16:33,466 --> 00:16:38,038 But, it was last summer and I haven't even seen him since. 343 00:16:39,505 --> 00:16:42,475 Anyway, it raises that age-old question. 344 00:16:44,076 --> 00:16:47,244 You know, can you ever go back? 345 00:16:47,246 --> 00:16:49,079 [EVE] That's exactly what I was thinking. 346 00:16:49,081 --> 00:16:51,114 Though, I think maybe a couple more here... 347 00:16:51,116 --> 00:16:52,583 possibly another hydrangea? 348 00:16:52,585 --> 00:16:54,588 - I think that'd be very nice. - (CLEARS THROAT) 349 00:16:56,655 --> 00:16:59,723 The last thing I would call either of us is selfish. 350 00:16:59,725 --> 00:17:03,194 In fact, the term "generous to a fault" springs to mind. 351 00:17:03,196 --> 00:17:07,065 But in this instance, I suggest we put it to the vote... 352 00:17:07,067 --> 00:17:10,701 to keep our one solitary decanter of liquid nectar... 353 00:17:10,703 --> 00:17:14,238 a secret from the "vin ordinaire" drinkers... 354 00:17:14,240 --> 00:17:18,508 and rendezvous back here après le diner. 355 00:17:18,510 --> 00:17:21,312 I second that motion and say, "Aye." 356 00:17:21,314 --> 00:17:23,081 "Aye." 357 00:17:23,083 --> 00:17:25,386 Harold and I will meet you back here. 358 00:17:28,087 --> 00:17:30,621 Yes, Harold. 359 00:17:30,623 --> 00:17:33,091 He's a fine wine man, is he? 360 00:17:33,093 --> 00:17:36,330 (MUSIC PLAYING) 361 00:17:43,702 --> 00:17:49,239 (PRISCILLA CHANTING) 362 00:17:49,241 --> 00:17:53,547 ♪ Money pay me om om ♪ 363 00:18:00,452 --> 00:18:04,287 - ♪ Om om ♪ - (TEXT NOTIFICATION) 364 00:18:04,289 --> 00:18:09,727 ♪ Money pay me om om ♪ 365 00:18:09,729 --> 00:18:12,132 (PHONE VIBRATES) 366 00:18:14,299 --> 00:18:17,501 ♪ I don't wanna fuckin' talk to you asshole ♪ 367 00:18:17,503 --> 00:18:22,241 ♪ Fuck you om om ♪ 368 00:18:40,426 --> 00:18:41,461 Hey. 369 00:18:42,628 --> 00:18:44,030 Hey. 370 00:19:19,598 --> 00:19:21,731 Ciao. 371 00:19:21,733 --> 00:19:23,767 Sorry, Grandma. 372 00:19:23,769 --> 00:19:25,702 [MACKENZIE] (V.O.) It will probably surprise you... 373 00:19:25,704 --> 00:19:27,838 to learn that Ethan speaks five languages... 374 00:19:27,840 --> 00:19:29,539 Portuguese among them. 375 00:19:29,541 --> 00:19:31,676 So, he understood every word... 376 00:19:31,678 --> 00:19:34,511 of Saffron's phone call to her quote "Grandma"... 377 00:19:34,513 --> 00:19:37,381 and explains the grin she was referring to. 378 00:19:37,383 --> 00:19:39,116 [ETHAN] How 'bout we go on a little ride? 379 00:19:39,118 --> 00:19:42,186 I got some delicious magic mushroom chocolates. 380 00:19:42,188 --> 00:19:43,421 You up for it? 381 00:19:43,423 --> 00:19:45,759 [SAFFRON] Mm, very naughty. 382 00:19:49,394 --> 00:19:51,394 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 383 00:19:51,396 --> 00:19:52,598 (WHINES) 384 00:19:54,200 --> 00:19:55,501 Half will get ya really high, easy. 385 00:19:58,738 --> 00:20:00,407 - Here. - Mm. 386 00:20:05,478 --> 00:20:06,513 Ah! 387 00:20:13,353 --> 00:20:14,751 (LAUGHING) 388 00:20:14,753 --> 00:20:15,755 Whoo! 389 00:20:17,190 --> 00:20:18,890 (GROWLS) 390 00:20:18,892 --> 00:20:22,160 (SNORING) 391 00:20:22,162 --> 00:20:25,164 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 392 00:20:30,369 --> 00:20:32,572 (GROANS) 393 00:20:38,278 --> 00:20:40,545 (MUSIC FADES DOWN) 394 00:20:40,547 --> 00:20:42,412 To you. 395 00:20:42,414 --> 00:20:43,783 Cheers. 396 00:20:50,690 --> 00:20:54,228 Mm... ah. 397 00:20:56,863 --> 00:21:00,797 So, how's it going with the young actress? 398 00:21:00,799 --> 00:21:04,669 Young is a relative term, she's 36. 399 00:21:04,671 --> 00:21:07,904 She went back to her boyfriend, at my suggestion, of course. 400 00:21:07,906 --> 00:21:10,807 They're getting married. Must be catching. 401 00:21:10,809 --> 00:21:13,312 I'll probably be at that wedding, as well. 402 00:21:16,481 --> 00:21:18,484 Ah, so that leaves a position to be filled. 403 00:21:19,786 --> 00:21:21,488 Hm. 404 00:21:22,788 --> 00:21:24,689 Already filled. 405 00:21:24,691 --> 00:21:29,826 So, tell me, am I giving you away for good this time? 406 00:21:29,828 --> 00:21:32,395 Harold is an extraordinary man. 407 00:21:32,397 --> 00:21:36,299 That he is, but will he understand your way of thinking? 408 00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:38,536 I don't think that way anymore. 409 00:21:38,538 --> 00:21:43,341 Fame, success, the flattery... 410 00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:44,709 I'll leave it all to you. 411 00:21:44,711 --> 00:21:47,844 Thank you. I'll take it. 412 00:21:47,846 --> 00:21:49,782 That's very generous of you. 413 00:21:53,486 --> 00:21:55,385 Eve didn't tell you I was coming, huh? 414 00:21:55,387 --> 00:21:57,287 Oh, I wonder why. 415 00:21:57,289 --> 00:21:59,789 Well, maybe she thought you'd have a problem with it. 416 00:21:59,791 --> 00:22:00,924 - Oh, hey! - What's up, guys? 417 00:22:00,926 --> 00:22:03,361 - Hey. - Wear less! 418 00:22:03,363 --> 00:22:05,496 Okay, that happened. 419 00:22:05,498 --> 00:22:06,896 Look. 420 00:22:06,898 --> 00:22:09,267 A rock 'n roll tour is not a place... 421 00:22:09,269 --> 00:22:11,035 for a 16 year old girl, come on. 422 00:22:11,037 --> 00:22:12,370 Well, why don't you come? 423 00:22:12,372 --> 00:22:13,638 Oh, sure. 424 00:22:13,640 --> 00:22:16,340 What, now that Sebastian is no longer needed? 425 00:22:16,342 --> 00:22:17,440 Sure. 426 00:22:17,442 --> 00:22:18,843 - Oh, honey. - What? 427 00:22:18,845 --> 00:22:21,845 - I think I'd rather be dead. - Shit. 428 00:22:21,847 --> 00:22:23,817 - Okay, good night. - Okay, good night. 429 00:22:41,834 --> 00:22:44,971 (MUSIC PLAYING) 430 00:23:00,752 --> 00:23:03,589 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 431 00:23:10,430 --> 00:23:13,331 All right, now who's shaggable? 432 00:23:13,333 --> 00:23:17,567 I don't know, I can't decide between the... 433 00:23:17,569 --> 00:23:19,705 beautiful 17 year old boy... 434 00:23:22,909 --> 00:23:26,710 Saff! Or, the naughty 30-something year old... 435 00:23:26,712 --> 00:23:28,648 that you were tarting around with last night. 436 00:23:29,949 --> 00:23:32,516 He's much more up your alley. 437 00:23:32,518 --> 00:23:33,487 - Right. - He's all yours. 438 00:23:34,619 --> 00:23:36,120 How 'bout you, Clem? 439 00:23:36,122 --> 00:23:40,091 Why would I tell you, Tweedleslap and Tweedleslapper? 440 00:23:40,093 --> 00:23:42,496 - Oh my god! - Come on, Clem! 441 00:23:46,465 --> 00:23:47,664 Dad. 442 00:23:47,666 --> 00:23:49,132 Yeah? 443 00:23:49,134 --> 00:23:52,969 Eve's one and only Golden Globe was for, A... 444 00:23:52,971 --> 00:23:57,510 Loves of a Blonde, or B, Blonde Love? 445 00:23:58,911 --> 00:24:01,612 Uh, Loves of a Blonde. 446 00:24:01,614 --> 00:24:06,484 [ROSE] Wrong. It was actually for Blind Lover. 447 00:24:06,486 --> 00:24:09,489 That's a trick question. That's not fair. 448 00:24:13,459 --> 00:24:14,924 [ETHAN] An early wedding present. 449 00:24:14,926 --> 00:24:16,393 What is it? 450 00:24:16,395 --> 00:24:17,961 I got sent this the other day... 451 00:24:17,963 --> 00:24:20,463 and they want the two of us to be in it playing mother and son. 452 00:24:20,465 --> 00:24:22,767 Oh, that's imaginative casting. 453 00:24:22,769 --> 00:24:23,968 It's actually a really good script. 454 00:24:23,970 --> 00:24:25,736 You should think about doing it. 455 00:24:25,738 --> 00:24:27,470 I'm in a wheelchair, you end up in a wheelchair. 456 00:24:27,472 --> 00:24:29,774 Last scene is the two of us dancing in wheelchairs. 457 00:24:29,776 --> 00:24:31,409 Lot of crying scenes. 458 00:24:31,411 --> 00:24:33,777 Really? I'm retired. You do it. 459 00:24:33,779 --> 00:24:36,980 - It's a both-or-nothing deal. - Oh. 460 00:24:36,982 --> 00:24:39,583 - Will you at least read it? - Oh, honey. 461 00:24:39,585 --> 00:24:42,786 Come on, on your honeymoon. Gotta get out of bed sometime. 462 00:24:42,788 --> 00:24:44,555 - Bow-chicka-wawa. - Oh, that is so bad. 463 00:24:44,557 --> 00:24:46,489 You are my son! 464 00:24:46,491 --> 00:24:48,459 - Where're you guys going? - Venice. 465 00:24:48,461 --> 00:24:49,593 That's original. 466 00:24:49,595 --> 00:24:51,027 Well, it was Harold's idea. 467 00:24:51,029 --> 00:24:53,764 I didn't wanna start off as a difficult wife. 468 00:24:53,766 --> 00:24:55,134 Then don't be a difficult mother. 469 00:24:58,003 --> 00:25:00,406 (PIANO PLAYING) 470 00:25:02,508 --> 00:25:05,578 [RORY] Okay. Eve and Harold's wedding song, take one. 471 00:25:23,496 --> 00:25:26,963 ♪ Bet the house bet the farm Fourth time is a charm ♪ 472 00:25:26,965 --> 00:25:30,567 ♪ It's amazing what a book tour can do ♪ 473 00:25:30,569 --> 00:25:34,037 ♪ He's tall debonair And he's still got his hair ♪ 474 00:25:34,039 --> 00:25:37,607 ♪ Coolest couple in Vanity Fair ♪ 475 00:25:37,609 --> 00:25:40,009 ♪ Six weeks is all it took ♪ 476 00:25:40,011 --> 00:25:43,980 ♪ Two books and the sales are strong ♪ 477 00:25:43,982 --> 00:25:46,717 ♪ You know you can never go wrong ♪ 478 00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:50,019 ♪ When love comes along You never go wrong ♪ 479 00:25:50,021 --> 00:25:55,526 ♪ When love comes along ♪ 480 00:25:55,528 --> 00:26:01,634 ♪ You never go wrong When love comes along ♪ 481 00:26:05,070 --> 00:26:09,775 ♪ You never go wrong When love comes along ♪ 482 00:26:22,622 --> 00:26:24,921 I think it's very adult of you to be this civilized. 483 00:26:24,923 --> 00:26:26,556 I mean, not everyone... 484 00:26:26,558 --> 00:26:28,992 would have their ex-husband at their wedding. 485 00:26:28,994 --> 00:26:30,760 My mum would turn into The Exorcist... 486 00:26:30,762 --> 00:26:32,263 if Dad showed up at her wedding. 487 00:26:32,265 --> 00:26:33,963 Oh, god. 488 00:26:33,965 --> 00:26:37,000 Projectile green vomit. Head 360. The whole thing. 489 00:26:37,002 --> 00:26:39,103 She still really hates him. 490 00:26:39,105 --> 00:26:41,205 Dare one ask why? 491 00:26:41,207 --> 00:26:45,109 Oh, well, as Dorothy Parker once said... 492 00:26:45,111 --> 00:26:47,777 "Hogamous, Higamous, Man is polygamous..." 493 00:26:47,779 --> 00:26:50,115 "Higamous, Hogamous, Woman is monogamous." 494 00:26:53,786 --> 00:26:56,120 I doubt Dorothy Parker actually said that. 495 00:26:56,122 --> 00:26:58,655 Yes, it has a man's fingerprints all over it. 496 00:26:58,657 --> 00:27:01,792 Yes, it sounds suspiciously self-serving. 497 00:27:01,794 --> 00:27:03,760 You know, if it helps explain anything, Rose... 498 00:27:03,762 --> 00:27:07,565 Mom and Dad here were like the poster couple for divorce. 499 00:27:07,567 --> 00:27:09,600 Yeah, they gave each other divorce gifts. 500 00:27:09,602 --> 00:27:11,669 Really? What? 501 00:27:11,671 --> 00:27:12,969 Oh, I've forgotten. 502 00:27:12,971 --> 00:27:14,771 Me, too. 503 00:27:14,773 --> 00:27:16,940 Actually, one time, Mom took the three of us out of the country... 504 00:27:16,942 --> 00:27:19,276 for a vacation and she didn't get Dad's permission. 505 00:27:19,278 --> 00:27:22,046 Dad waited patiently until we got back, and then... 506 00:27:22,048 --> 00:27:25,181 had Mom arrested at the airport and put in prison for the night. 507 00:27:25,183 --> 00:27:26,717 What a guy. 508 00:27:26,719 --> 00:27:28,352 Character-building. 509 00:27:28,354 --> 00:27:30,086 And when Dad came back after having been away working... 510 00:27:30,088 --> 00:27:31,755 for three months... 511 00:27:31,757 --> 00:27:33,958 he found that Mom had completely redecorated the suite... 512 00:27:33,960 --> 00:27:35,225 and put it on the bill. 513 00:27:35,227 --> 00:27:37,730 Yes, it was much more cheerful. 514 00:27:39,332 --> 00:27:42,769 (MUSIC PLAYING) 515 00:27:56,715 --> 00:27:57,716 Hello, there! 516 00:28:03,990 --> 00:28:05,922 Hey! Ole! 517 00:28:05,924 --> 00:28:07,690 My best man! 518 00:28:07,692 --> 00:28:12,132 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 519 00:28:14,133 --> 00:28:17,101 (SPEAKING SPANISH) 520 00:28:17,103 --> 00:28:19,769 I just think we have to make at least one attempt... 521 00:28:19,771 --> 00:28:22,739 to get Mom to do a prenup. 522 00:28:22,741 --> 00:28:25,742 I don't know. She's done quite well for herself, so far. 523 00:28:25,744 --> 00:28:29,212 Yeah, but so far, all of her husbands have had money. 524 00:28:29,214 --> 00:28:30,713 Except for you. 525 00:28:30,715 --> 00:28:32,017 - 'Course. - Yeah. 526 00:28:36,655 --> 00:28:39,158 (MUMBLING INDISTINCT) 527 00:28:43,663 --> 00:28:46,697 So what does true love mean to you, Mother? 528 00:28:46,699 --> 00:28:48,699 True love? 529 00:28:48,701 --> 00:28:50,767 Um... 530 00:28:50,769 --> 00:28:56,073 Well, you know, if at first you don't succeed, try, try again. 531 00:28:56,075 --> 00:28:58,741 Which is what I keep saying about those songs, Mom. 532 00:28:58,743 --> 00:29:01,245 - [PRISCILLA] What songs? - [SAM] Your new ones. 533 00:29:01,247 --> 00:29:03,080 What do you know, anyway? 534 00:29:03,082 --> 00:29:05,185 You sing along with Les Mis. 535 00:29:07,787 --> 00:29:12,726 Mommy is a rock goddess. Mommy is a rock goddess. 536 00:29:18,830 --> 00:29:22,199 A couple of my novels that were turned into films... 537 00:29:22,201 --> 00:29:26,135 sent me to bed with a bottle of scotch. 538 00:29:26,137 --> 00:29:30,207 Oh, well, that's where the films I'm usually in these days... 539 00:29:30,209 --> 00:29:32,008 always send me. 540 00:29:32,010 --> 00:29:34,344 And why I'm in graceful retirement. 541 00:29:34,346 --> 00:29:37,480 Yeah. But that is such a pity, Eve. 542 00:29:37,482 --> 00:29:39,717 You played some great roles. 543 00:29:39,719 --> 00:29:41,285 Has she... she has. 544 00:29:41,287 --> 00:29:43,123 Harold has seen all my work. 545 00:29:45,758 --> 00:29:48,057 You've seen all of Eve's films? 546 00:29:48,059 --> 00:29:49,192 Yeah. 547 00:29:49,194 --> 00:29:50,827 [LAURENCE] Seriously? 548 00:29:50,829 --> 00:29:53,863 Uh, well you know, nearly all. 549 00:29:53,865 --> 00:29:58,203 And which performance do you treasure the most? 550 00:30:00,472 --> 00:30:03,841 Well, I'd have to say... 551 00:30:03,843 --> 00:30:06,242 it was the first time I saw you on screen. 552 00:30:06,244 --> 00:30:09,880 You were playing a waitress in a diner... 553 00:30:09,882 --> 00:30:12,015 who kept getting the orders wrong. 554 00:30:12,017 --> 00:30:15,919 And you nearly killed this poor guy who had a nut allergy. 555 00:30:15,921 --> 00:30:18,287 It was hilarious. 556 00:30:18,289 --> 00:30:22,258 Available Man. Laurence got me that part. 557 00:30:22,260 --> 00:30:28,198 Yes, I also played the guy with the nut allergy. 558 00:30:28,200 --> 00:30:30,933 Though, that wasn't Eve's first leading role... 559 00:30:30,935 --> 00:30:34,138 it was meant to be, anyways, supporting. 560 00:30:34,140 --> 00:30:36,105 Well obviously, yes. 561 00:30:36,107 --> 00:30:40,879 Um, in a leading role, I would have to say... 562 00:30:43,281 --> 00:30:46,415 Bad Girls was very moving. 563 00:30:46,417 --> 00:30:52,291 Hm... hm... hm. 564 00:30:55,059 --> 00:30:56,392 Mm. 565 00:30:56,394 --> 00:30:57,995 Look, it doesn't have to be perfect. 566 00:30:57,997 --> 00:30:59,462 Just, can you get a prenup here by tomorrow? 567 00:30:59,464 --> 00:31:02,498 - (DANCE MUSIC PLAYING) - Dance party! 568 00:31:02,500 --> 00:31:04,168 Here we go. 569 00:31:04,170 --> 00:31:05,205 Taking us down the road. Let's do it. 570 00:31:11,442 --> 00:31:13,747 Step, and down. 571 00:31:18,284 --> 00:31:19,385 Okay. 572 00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:23,253 Step, step, clap, clap. 573 00:31:23,255 --> 00:31:24,891 Work it, girl. Work it! 574 00:31:26,959 --> 00:31:28,392 Here we go. Here we go. 575 00:31:28,394 --> 00:31:31,027 - Oh, come on. You can get this! - H'yah! Fuck off! 576 00:31:31,029 --> 00:31:32,965 - These are our tarts! - Get outta here. 577 00:31:35,334 --> 00:31:36,769 Okay. Again. 578 00:31:41,606 --> 00:31:44,408 [LAURENCE] Do you really think he's seen all your films? 579 00:31:44,410 --> 00:31:46,209 [EVE] Of course not... 580 00:31:46,211 --> 00:31:48,911 but I think it's sweet that he pretends he has. 581 00:31:48,913 --> 00:31:50,346 And you never miss it? 582 00:31:50,348 --> 00:31:52,085 Oh, god, no. 583 00:31:54,854 --> 00:31:57,520 We always did it for different reasons. 584 00:31:57,522 --> 00:31:59,288 We did? 585 00:31:59,290 --> 00:32:01,357 Yeah. You did it... 586 00:32:01,359 --> 00:32:03,594 well, you still do it for the work... 587 00:32:03,596 --> 00:32:05,362 for the challenge of the work... 588 00:32:05,364 --> 00:32:08,599 for the absences the work affords. 589 00:32:08,601 --> 00:32:11,034 I always thought of the family as integral to my work... 590 00:32:11,036 --> 00:32:13,370 and you thought of it as detrimental to your work. 591 00:32:13,372 --> 00:32:14,971 Did I? 592 00:32:14,973 --> 00:32:17,039 Well speaking about mixing family and work... 593 00:32:17,041 --> 00:32:20,142 Ethan has this movie he wants me to act in with him. 594 00:32:20,144 --> 00:32:22,880 Good part? 595 00:32:22,882 --> 00:32:25,051 A mother in a wheelchair, apparently. 596 00:32:27,385 --> 00:32:31,388 Do you think it could be changed to a father in a wheelchair? 597 00:32:31,390 --> 00:32:35,926 Possible Oscar bait. "He walks away with it." 598 00:32:35,928 --> 00:32:38,461 "I'm supporting." 599 00:32:38,463 --> 00:32:41,163 "I'm supporting." 600 00:32:41,165 --> 00:32:46,105 "We start out supporting and we end up supporting." 601 00:32:49,407 --> 00:32:52,544 (MUSIC PLAYING) 602 00:33:12,564 --> 00:33:15,134 - Hi. - Hola. 603 00:33:19,070 --> 00:33:20,970 My sister wants to know where Harry Potter is. 604 00:33:20,972 --> 00:33:22,207 Who? 605 00:33:24,175 --> 00:33:26,075 That's Dylan. 606 00:33:26,077 --> 00:33:28,545 He's your boyfriend? 607 00:33:28,547 --> 00:33:30,415 He's my cousin. 608 00:33:36,989 --> 00:33:38,521 My sister says, "Oh, good." 609 00:33:38,523 --> 00:33:39,524 Good? 610 00:33:42,260 --> 00:33:44,594 Um, he's actually my first cousin... 611 00:33:44,596 --> 00:33:46,531 He's my first cousin once removed. 612 00:34:05,416 --> 00:34:08,050 - Hola. - Hi. 613 00:34:08,052 --> 00:34:09,385 Como estas? 614 00:34:09,387 --> 00:34:10,554 Uh, I'm good. 615 00:34:10,556 --> 00:34:12,090 So, how old are you? 616 00:34:17,628 --> 00:34:19,729 Okay. 617 00:34:19,731 --> 00:34:22,701 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 618 00:34:26,038 --> 00:34:27,503 Do you need some help? 619 00:34:27,505 --> 00:34:30,007 Sure. 620 00:34:30,009 --> 00:34:32,141 But first, I have to confess something. 621 00:34:32,143 --> 00:34:34,411 Okay. 622 00:34:34,413 --> 00:34:36,380 I had my first serious snog to... 623 00:34:36,382 --> 00:34:38,749 Up All Night In The Diner With Julie. 624 00:34:38,751 --> 00:34:40,182 "Snog." 625 00:34:40,184 --> 00:34:43,086 That's English for, "make out", right? 626 00:34:43,088 --> 00:34:45,322 Yes, but with lots and lots of tongue. 627 00:34:45,324 --> 00:34:49,793 All right, well, that was a great choice to snog to. 628 00:34:49,795 --> 00:34:51,128 It was amazing. 629 00:34:51,130 --> 00:34:53,030 I'm glad to hear it. 630 00:34:53,032 --> 00:34:56,566 So, being a bit of a fan, can I ask you three questions? 631 00:34:56,568 --> 00:34:59,635 All right. Go for it. 632 00:34:59,637 --> 00:35:02,007 Why did you stop writing? 633 00:35:05,643 --> 00:35:08,811 Who said I stopped? 634 00:35:08,813 --> 00:35:12,081 Right. Okay. 635 00:35:12,083 --> 00:35:14,083 Why did you leave your band? 636 00:35:14,085 --> 00:35:16,219 Oh, it was never really my band. 637 00:35:16,221 --> 00:35:17,521 It was our band. 638 00:35:17,523 --> 00:35:19,188 But, you know, you got a lead singer... 639 00:35:19,190 --> 00:35:20,557 with a huge personality. 640 00:35:20,559 --> 00:35:22,559 It was always gonna be her band in the end. 641 00:35:22,561 --> 00:35:23,793 I mean, rightly so. 642 00:35:23,795 --> 00:35:25,263 And is that why you left? 643 00:35:27,398 --> 00:35:28,567 No, honestly, I... 644 00:35:30,668 --> 00:35:33,369 You know that whole rock 'n roll lifestyle thing... 645 00:35:33,371 --> 00:35:37,309 it just wasn't that important. 646 00:35:38,443 --> 00:35:40,342 No fame or money? 647 00:35:40,344 --> 00:35:45,050 No, it's not everything. I mean, I figured that out pretty early. 648 00:35:47,585 --> 00:35:51,121 Okay, I have two questions. 649 00:35:51,123 --> 00:35:54,124 - Oh, really? - Yes, I do. 650 00:35:54,126 --> 00:35:56,159 What is an Orange Prize? 651 00:35:56,161 --> 00:36:00,162 - Oh my god, you googled me! - No, please. 652 00:36:00,164 --> 00:36:02,865 No, Eve told me one of Harold's daughters was a novelist... 653 00:36:02,867 --> 00:36:05,568 and it's obviously not Rose. 654 00:36:05,570 --> 00:36:08,671 She said the Orange Prize had been won. 655 00:36:08,673 --> 00:36:11,141 An Orange Prize is an award... 656 00:36:11,143 --> 00:36:12,809 they give to first-time female authors... 657 00:36:12,811 --> 00:36:16,146 and I didn't win, I was shortlisted. 658 00:36:16,148 --> 00:36:19,382 Congratulations. Was it autobiographical? 659 00:36:19,384 --> 00:36:20,684 Why do you ask that? 660 00:36:20,686 --> 00:36:24,688 Oh, come on, it's about an older sister... 661 00:36:24,690 --> 00:36:27,423 who's kind of attractive in a bookish kind of way... 662 00:36:27,425 --> 00:36:29,758 who lives with her hipster, skirt-chasing dad and... 663 00:36:29,760 --> 00:36:31,293 wild-child, younger sister... 664 00:36:31,295 --> 00:36:33,829 and they all live on red wine and pizza? 665 00:36:33,831 --> 00:36:35,164 You read it. 666 00:36:35,166 --> 00:36:36,465 Sure. 667 00:36:36,467 --> 00:36:39,135 Gotta check up on my new step family. 668 00:36:39,137 --> 00:36:42,204 Some of it was me, yeah, but most of it wasn't. 669 00:36:42,206 --> 00:36:44,374 I can't actually cook a Chicken Kiev. 670 00:36:44,376 --> 00:36:45,641 Not a problem. 671 00:36:45,643 --> 00:36:47,244 But I do like books. 672 00:36:47,246 --> 00:36:48,247 Obviously. 673 00:36:50,315 --> 00:36:52,816 Do you know, I would prefer if you referred to me as kind of... 674 00:36:52,818 --> 00:36:55,385 sexy in a librarian way, rather than bookish. 675 00:36:55,387 --> 00:36:56,653 Oh, you would prefer that, would you? 676 00:36:56,655 --> 00:36:57,787 - Yes. - Well, you need glasses for... 677 00:36:57,789 --> 00:36:59,258 "sexy librarian." 678 00:37:12,204 --> 00:37:14,373 Soul patch. 679 00:37:16,208 --> 00:37:18,541 [EVE] "Such duty as the subject owes the prince,"... 680 00:37:18,543 --> 00:37:20,844 "Even such a woman oweth to her husband;"... 681 00:37:20,846 --> 00:37:24,347 "And if she is froward, peevish, sullen..." 682 00:37:24,349 --> 00:37:27,583 "sour and not obedient to his honest will..." 683 00:37:27,585 --> 00:37:30,519 "What is she but a foul contending rebel..." 684 00:37:30,521 --> 00:37:34,192 "And graceless traitor to her loving lord?" 685 00:37:36,327 --> 00:37:38,597 I'm not just a fuckin' movie star. 686 00:37:40,731 --> 00:37:44,467 [PRISCILLA] Yeah, it's Priscilla for Guy. No, I don't wanna hold. 687 00:37:44,469 --> 00:37:45,936 [PRISCILLA] I don't wanna hold, I don't wanna hold! 688 00:37:45,938 --> 00:37:48,307 Yeah. I wanna write a book. 689 00:37:50,775 --> 00:37:52,144 About me! 690 00:37:57,248 --> 00:37:59,416 You've never seen any of my films? 691 00:37:59,418 --> 00:38:00,883 I don't think so. 692 00:38:00,885 --> 00:38:03,320 Do you go to the theater? 693 00:38:03,322 --> 00:38:05,521 - What? - Not if we can help it. 694 00:38:05,523 --> 00:38:09,258 Wait, hang on. Were you in the last Sponge Bob film? 695 00:38:09,260 --> 00:38:10,726 I was, indeed. 696 00:38:10,728 --> 00:38:12,729 Oh my god! I love Sponge Bob! 697 00:38:12,731 --> 00:38:13,996 Oh, yeah? 698 00:38:13,998 --> 00:38:15,965 You actually used to be quite good-looking. 699 00:38:15,967 --> 00:38:17,534 Put on some weight, though. 700 00:38:17,536 --> 00:38:18,767 Come on, Saffie, let's get a drinky. 701 00:38:18,769 --> 00:38:21,804 Actually, I've lost weight. 702 00:38:21,806 --> 00:38:23,240 What'd I miss? 703 00:38:23,242 --> 00:38:25,608 My whole career, apparently. 704 00:38:25,610 --> 00:38:27,409 - That's it. I'm moving out. - What? 705 00:38:27,411 --> 00:38:28,912 You're killing me with the secondhand smoke... 706 00:38:28,914 --> 00:38:30,447 and you don't even care. 707 00:38:30,449 --> 00:38:33,617 I do care! But you're not dead yet. 708 00:38:33,619 --> 00:38:37,787 Go, go over there and have the fresh air. Go on. 709 00:38:37,789 --> 00:38:40,289 $50 says Dad brings up his Tony at dinner. 710 00:38:40,291 --> 00:38:41,891 No way. $50 it's before the main course. 711 00:38:41,893 --> 00:38:43,525 $100 it's before the salad... 712 00:38:43,527 --> 00:38:45,561 and he got it for Pirandello's Henry IV. 713 00:38:45,563 --> 00:38:47,597 - That's bold. - Watch and learn. 714 00:38:47,599 --> 00:38:49,898 - I'll take desert. - All right, man. 715 00:38:49,900 --> 00:38:53,603 So wait-wait-wait, you guys met in a jailhouse, for women? 716 00:38:53,605 --> 00:38:55,505 Yeah, it's actually a really good way to meet people. 717 00:38:55,507 --> 00:38:56,474 Here we go, here we go. 718 00:38:58,777 --> 00:39:02,412 I, for one, would like to commend Eve... 719 00:39:02,414 --> 00:39:06,782 on her optimism and her perseverance... 720 00:39:06,784 --> 00:39:09,254 - and of course, her courage... - Yeah. 721 00:39:11,056 --> 00:39:14,923 ...in taking this plunge yet again. 722 00:39:14,925 --> 00:39:17,494 - Brave girl. - I must say, I was surprised. 723 00:39:17,496 --> 00:39:21,498 In fact, I would have wagered my Tony Award... 724 00:39:21,500 --> 00:39:22,798 for my performance... 725 00:39:22,800 --> 00:39:26,603 - in Pirandello's Henry IV... - Bastard. 726 00:39:26,605 --> 00:39:28,570 against the idea that you would ever... 727 00:39:28,572 --> 00:39:32,342 tread down this path again, my darling. 728 00:39:32,344 --> 00:39:36,045 But having met Harold, I think I get it. 729 00:39:36,047 --> 00:39:38,347 To Eve and Harold. 730 00:39:38,349 --> 00:39:40,083 [ALL] To Eve and Harold. 731 00:39:40,085 --> 00:39:41,517 - Salut. - Salut. 732 00:39:41,519 --> 00:39:42,755 Here you go. 733 00:39:47,858 --> 00:39:50,994 So, lovebirds, hey... 734 00:39:50,996 --> 00:39:55,831 I know it's customary to give the gifts after the wedding... 735 00:39:55,833 --> 00:39:58,601 but I really wanna give you my gift now. 736 00:39:58,603 --> 00:39:59,836 - Right now. - Sure. 737 00:39:59,838 --> 00:40:03,440 - Love it. - Cheers. 738 00:40:03,442 --> 00:40:08,878 ♪ Hey little sister what have you done ♪ 739 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:14,784 ♪ Hey little sister who's the only one ♪ 740 00:40:14,786 --> 00:40:17,854 ♪ Hey little sister who's your superman ♪ 741 00:40:17,856 --> 00:40:20,724 ♪ Little sister who's the one you want ♪ 742 00:40:20,726 --> 00:40:22,726 ♪ Little sister shotgun ♪ 743 00:40:22,728 --> 00:40:27,863 ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪ 744 00:40:27,865 --> 00:40:29,999 Woo! 745 00:40:30,001 --> 00:40:31,937 (BAND PLAYING) 746 00:40:38,643 --> 00:40:41,947 ♪ Hey little sister who's it you're with ♪ 747 00:40:44,148 --> 00:40:48,386 ♪ Hey little sister what's your vice or wish ♪ 748 00:40:49,820 --> 00:40:52,889 ♪ Hey little sister shotgun oh yeah ♪ 749 00:40:52,891 --> 00:40:55,758 ♪ Little sister who's your superman ♪ 750 00:40:55,760 --> 00:40:57,427 ♪ Little sister shotgun ♪ 751 00:40:57,429 --> 00:41:00,996 ♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪ 752 00:41:00,998 --> 00:41:03,166 Woo! 753 00:41:03,168 --> 00:41:06,603 ♪ It's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪ 754 00:41:06,605 --> 00:41:08,905 Wow! 755 00:41:08,907 --> 00:41:13,846 ♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪ 756 00:41:23,155 --> 00:41:24,586 - ♪ Hey little sister ♪ - That's your daughter. 757 00:41:24,588 --> 00:41:28,958 ♪ What have you done ♪ 758 00:41:28,960 --> 00:41:34,197 ♪ Hey little sister who's the only one ♪ 759 00:41:34,199 --> 00:41:37,099 ♪ I've been away for so long ♪ 760 00:41:37,101 --> 00:41:39,936 ♪ I let you go for so so long now ♪ 761 00:41:39,938 --> 00:41:41,938 ♪ Hey little sister shot gun ♪ 762 00:41:41,940 --> 00:41:44,807 ♪ It's a nice day to ♪ 763 00:41:44,809 --> 00:41:47,943 - Care to dance? - ♪ Start again ♪ 764 00:41:47,945 --> 00:41:52,014 ♪ Oh it's a nice day for a Wilde Wedding ♪ 765 00:41:52,016 --> 00:41:53,615 Fuck off. 766 00:41:53,617 --> 00:41:58,556 ♪ It's a nice day to start again ♪ 767 00:42:04,195 --> 00:42:05,994 Hello, this is James Darling. 768 00:42:05,996 --> 00:42:08,231 I called yesterday trying to track down the young lady... 769 00:42:08,233 --> 00:42:13,068 who drove the Montauk bus, that did not arrive at 11:45. 770 00:42:13,070 --> 00:42:16,005 And you asked me why I wanted to contact her. 771 00:42:16,007 --> 00:42:19,608 And, well, the reason is... 772 00:42:19,610 --> 00:42:21,845 when I saw her... 773 00:42:21,847 --> 00:42:24,914 in her not-very-flattering jitney uniform, by the way... 774 00:42:24,916 --> 00:42:30,487 when I saw her, the little voice in my head said... 775 00:42:30,489 --> 00:42:32,889 "This is the one..." 776 00:42:32,891 --> 00:42:34,523 Fuck! 777 00:42:34,525 --> 00:42:37,126 - Easy, man. I'm not a horse. - What happened? 778 00:42:37,128 --> 00:42:39,628 - Gentle. - Jimmy? 779 00:42:39,630 --> 00:42:41,063 Jimmy? 780 00:42:41,065 --> 00:42:43,566 Oh. 781 00:42:43,568 --> 00:42:46,806 I fucking tripped over the "Beware of Slope" sign. 782 00:42:50,876 --> 00:42:53,543 - Oh my god, that is too funny. - All right, Mom. 783 00:42:53,545 --> 00:42:55,878 It's just a grade-one ankle sprain. 784 00:42:55,880 --> 00:42:59,949 There's no sign of anterior talofibular disruption. 785 00:42:59,951 --> 00:43:01,985 Really, that's your professional diagnosis? 786 00:43:01,987 --> 00:43:03,720 [LAURENCE] It is, indeed, James. 787 00:43:03,722 --> 00:43:08,191 One of the great things about acting on the stage... 788 00:43:08,193 --> 00:43:11,159 is that one gets to inhabit a role. 789 00:43:11,161 --> 00:43:13,229 And you might be aware... 790 00:43:13,231 --> 00:43:17,566 that I have rather famously played a doctor. 791 00:43:17,568 --> 00:43:19,269 Doctor Doolittle? 792 00:43:19,271 --> 00:43:21,237 And your point is? 793 00:43:21,239 --> 00:43:25,041 You bandaged the leg of an animatronic giraffe, singing... 794 00:43:25,043 --> 00:43:26,976 "If I could talk to the animals"? 795 00:43:26,978 --> 00:43:30,313 And I was complimented on my technique... 796 00:43:30,315 --> 00:43:33,519 - by numerous physicians. - Bravo. 797 00:43:36,054 --> 00:43:39,722 Actually, I would like to compliment you, Laurence... 798 00:43:39,724 --> 00:43:42,891 on your very gracious toast. 799 00:43:42,893 --> 00:43:44,927 I meant every word I said. 800 00:43:44,929 --> 00:43:50,066 You are amazingly courageous, amazingly tenacious... 801 00:43:50,068 --> 00:43:54,570 and amazingly naive. 802 00:43:54,572 --> 00:43:56,171 Said the ol' cynic. 803 00:43:56,173 --> 00:43:58,273 Come on, Laurence, what are you still holding out for? 804 00:43:58,275 --> 00:43:59,742 I'm not holding out. 805 00:43:59,744 --> 00:44:03,345 I like my birdcage empty, thank you. 806 00:44:03,347 --> 00:44:08,083 Anyway, why would I want a new wife and new family... 807 00:44:08,085 --> 00:44:11,588 when I already have the best ex-wife... 808 00:44:11,590 --> 00:44:14,958 and raised the most perfect family any man could want? 809 00:44:14,960 --> 00:44:16,592 Oh my god, Dad... 810 00:44:16,594 --> 00:44:19,162 you have lived in a hotel suite for the last 30 years. 811 00:44:19,164 --> 00:44:20,963 With one fucking bedroom. 812 00:44:20,965 --> 00:44:23,034 When we wanted to see you, we had to check in. 813 00:44:26,972 --> 00:44:30,106 I think marriage is challenging, formidable... 814 00:44:30,108 --> 00:44:34,242 and to be taken very seriously... 815 00:44:34,244 --> 00:44:37,746 like a great heroic adventure. 816 00:44:37,748 --> 00:44:41,050 Captain Scott heading off into the Antarctic. 817 00:44:41,052 --> 00:44:43,021 Does that make me the South Pole? 818 00:44:44,989 --> 00:44:48,326 Where I would be very happy to plant my flag. 819 00:45:06,143 --> 00:45:07,912 Yeah! 820 00:45:20,224 --> 00:45:21,826 [SAM] Look at this one! 821 00:45:37,041 --> 00:45:38,177 See ya. 822 00:45:43,748 --> 00:45:46,983 You did remember the birdcage. 823 00:45:46,985 --> 00:45:50,318 How could I forget, the best piece of advice... 824 00:45:50,320 --> 00:45:52,954 an ex-wife ever gave to a man? 825 00:45:52,956 --> 00:45:54,292 "You can't lock me up." 826 00:45:55,893 --> 00:45:57,726 Lock you up? 827 00:45:57,728 --> 00:45:58,961 Yes. 828 00:45:58,963 --> 00:46:01,831 Oh, god. 829 00:46:01,833 --> 00:46:05,304 After all these years and you had no clue. 830 00:46:06,471 --> 00:46:08,271 It's not about you. 831 00:46:08,273 --> 00:46:10,273 It's not? But I hate that. 832 00:46:10,275 --> 00:46:13,409 No, the birdcage was so you could... 833 00:46:13,411 --> 00:46:17,012 keep the next Mrs. Darling from flying away. 834 00:46:17,014 --> 00:46:18,717 Like the first one did. 835 00:46:21,318 --> 00:46:23,151 - It was? - Yes. 836 00:46:23,153 --> 00:46:25,755 No wait, I thought it was because, you know... 837 00:46:25,757 --> 00:46:29,092 you can fly in, but then if you wanted to fly out... 838 00:46:29,094 --> 00:46:31,296 you know, to meet up with other roosters... 839 00:46:39,103 --> 00:46:41,771 Hello, my lady. Where's Saffron? 840 00:46:41,773 --> 00:46:43,342 Gone inside. 841 00:46:48,445 --> 00:46:50,479 Homemade chocolates? 842 00:46:50,481 --> 00:46:53,184 They're super-delicious, and a lot of fun. 843 00:46:54,818 --> 00:46:56,853 What sort of fun? 844 00:46:56,855 --> 00:46:58,923 Let's just say they're in the 'shroom family. 845 00:47:09,800 --> 00:47:11,103 Wanna go for a moonlight ride? 846 00:47:14,938 --> 00:47:15,940 I'll go change. 847 00:47:25,784 --> 00:47:27,753 Do you know what's great about us? 848 00:47:29,387 --> 00:47:31,390 We've been through all the bad times. 849 00:47:33,324 --> 00:47:37,793 One of the benefits of being apart so long is that... 850 00:47:37,795 --> 00:47:41,065 somebody else had to take the knockout punches. 851 00:47:43,233 --> 00:47:47,036 And on that note, think I'll have another drink. Anyone? 852 00:47:47,038 --> 00:47:50,072 No. I won't. I'm getting married in the morning. 853 00:47:50,074 --> 00:47:52,175 I should think about going to bed. 854 00:47:52,177 --> 00:47:53,746 The night is young. 855 00:48:01,385 --> 00:48:06,088 Eve and Laurence have started in on the merits of marriage. 856 00:48:06,090 --> 00:48:09,057 It's funny how they didn't have that conversation 30 years ago. 857 00:48:09,059 --> 00:48:10,295 - Isn't it? - Uh-huh. 858 00:48:11,896 --> 00:48:14,533 (PLAYING PIANO) 859 00:48:28,545 --> 00:48:31,112 I think that's enough of that. 860 00:48:31,114 --> 00:48:32,216 All right. 861 00:48:45,429 --> 00:48:47,563 Fuck. 862 00:48:47,565 --> 00:48:49,300 Fuck, fuck. 863 00:48:56,608 --> 00:48:58,407 Have you ever thought what might've happened... 864 00:48:58,409 --> 00:49:01,110 if you'd never gotten me that part? 865 00:49:01,112 --> 00:49:05,581 Yeah. I might've been mentioned in one of the reviews. 866 00:49:05,583 --> 00:49:08,387 I meant, what might've happened with us. 867 00:49:10,355 --> 00:49:11,920 I don't know. 868 00:49:11,922 --> 00:49:13,956 Would it've been different? Probably. 869 00:49:13,958 --> 00:49:16,157 Would it've been better? I don't know. 870 00:49:16,159 --> 00:49:17,562 Better than this? 871 00:49:20,530 --> 00:49:23,534 What if Harold feels there's no room for an ex-husband? 872 00:49:25,235 --> 00:49:27,436 There's always room. 873 00:49:27,438 --> 00:49:29,974 Ah, but maybe no more room for this. 874 00:49:34,177 --> 00:49:37,045 May I tempt you? 875 00:49:37,047 --> 00:49:40,084 I have a wedding dress to fit into. 876 00:49:46,157 --> 00:49:49,228 You're going to be the most beautiful bride. 877 00:49:57,467 --> 00:49:58,569 Hm. 878 00:50:02,507 --> 00:50:05,173 Hey. 879 00:50:05,175 --> 00:50:07,510 You wanna bake a cake? 880 00:50:07,512 --> 00:50:08,644 Okay. 881 00:50:08,646 --> 00:50:10,582 Fantastic. Let's go. Come on! 882 00:50:14,018 --> 00:50:17,320 Woo! 883 00:50:17,322 --> 00:50:18,987 - You feel anything? - Yeah! 884 00:50:18,989 --> 00:50:20,188 I feel... 885 00:50:20,190 --> 00:50:23,258 fucking... amazing! 886 00:50:23,260 --> 00:50:25,260 All right, I will chop the mint. 887 00:50:25,262 --> 00:50:29,597 You pick the tune. Music is important. 888 00:50:29,599 --> 00:50:31,666 So what're we actually doing here, Gordon Ramsey? 889 00:50:31,668 --> 00:50:35,670 Are you familiar with the chiffonade cut? 890 00:50:35,672 --> 00:50:37,608 No. What is it? 891 00:50:40,043 --> 00:50:43,179 Nice! Austrian Swing. 892 00:50:43,181 --> 00:50:46,081 Is that a lucky guess or an excellent choice? 893 00:50:46,083 --> 00:50:47,483 No, it's not a lucky guess. 894 00:50:47,485 --> 00:50:49,217 - Really? - Yeah. 895 00:50:49,219 --> 00:50:52,021 I spent two nights in a soggy tent in Glastonbury... 896 00:50:52,023 --> 00:50:54,657 just so I could shake my bum to these gentlemen. 897 00:50:54,659 --> 00:50:57,559 That's having the same effect on my ass, too, right. Come here. 898 00:50:57,561 --> 00:51:00,262 Okay, the chiffonade cut, you need a knife with a long, thin blade... 899 00:51:00,264 --> 00:51:03,199 and a handle that you can hold like a sword. 900 00:51:03,201 --> 00:51:04,532 Right. 901 00:51:04,534 --> 00:51:06,735 You know, I read that list of things... 902 00:51:06,737 --> 00:51:08,336 that psychopaths are good at. 903 00:51:08,338 --> 00:51:11,340 And cooking is right up there at the top. 904 00:51:11,342 --> 00:51:13,641 I'm almost afraid to ask how good you are. 905 00:51:13,643 --> 00:51:16,244 Guy who taught me's got two Michelin stars. Let's go. 906 00:51:16,246 --> 00:51:19,414 Oh my god, you're Hannibal Bloody Lecter. 907 00:51:19,416 --> 00:51:20,585 [PRISCILLA] Oh, hi. 908 00:51:23,221 --> 00:51:25,487 I was just on my way up to bed. 909 00:51:25,489 --> 00:51:27,058 Okay. 910 00:51:28,592 --> 00:51:29,961 Yeah... um... 911 00:51:32,563 --> 00:51:36,164 if you see Sam, will you send him up? 912 00:51:36,166 --> 00:51:37,501 Okay. 913 00:51:49,679 --> 00:51:51,613 - Good night. - Good night. 914 00:51:51,615 --> 00:51:53,251 - Good night. - Night. 915 00:52:00,057 --> 00:52:03,059 You know, I'm feeling a little bushed myself. 916 00:52:03,061 --> 00:52:05,360 I think it's the jet lag. 917 00:52:05,362 --> 00:52:06,762 [RORY] Are you sure? 918 00:52:06,764 --> 00:52:08,329 Yeah. 919 00:52:08,331 --> 00:52:11,333 - Really? - Yeah. 920 00:52:11,335 --> 00:52:12,503 Sleep well. 921 00:52:15,672 --> 00:52:18,175 This is the best wine I've ever had. 922 00:52:20,610 --> 00:52:22,778 Normally it's an okay little winery... 923 00:52:22,780 --> 00:52:26,284 but 2009 knocked it out of the park. 924 00:52:29,653 --> 00:52:32,787 And, it goes deliciously with these chocolates. 925 00:52:32,789 --> 00:52:34,458 Oh, thank you. 926 00:52:43,733 --> 00:52:44,702 Ah, you're making me dizzy. 927 00:52:51,641 --> 00:52:53,675 Be quiet! 928 00:52:53,677 --> 00:52:56,412 - My dad... - You be quiet. My dad. 929 00:52:56,414 --> 00:52:57,716 Harold! 930 00:53:31,215 --> 00:53:33,285 I wasn't a very good husband. 931 00:53:35,519 --> 00:53:38,523 Or father, either, for that matter. 932 00:53:39,856 --> 00:53:41,793 Just couldn't say no... 933 00:53:43,427 --> 00:53:45,793 to the work... 934 00:53:45,795 --> 00:53:48,396 to the women... 935 00:53:48,398 --> 00:53:49,768 to life's pleasures. 936 00:53:53,871 --> 00:53:58,742 And marriage puts a stop to all that, doesn't it? 937 00:53:59,876 --> 00:54:01,645 It does tend to, yes. 938 00:54:04,447 --> 00:54:07,383 "The cradle rocks above an abyss..." 939 00:54:07,385 --> 00:54:11,686 "and common sense tells us that our existence..." 940 00:54:11,688 --> 00:54:13,923 "is but a brief crack of light..." 941 00:54:13,925 --> 00:54:16,958 "between two eternities of darkness". 942 00:54:16,960 --> 00:54:18,796 Vladamir Nabakov. 943 00:54:24,402 --> 00:54:27,806 Our time in the light is nearly done. 944 00:54:29,974 --> 00:54:32,441 I sometimes wonder... 945 00:54:32,443 --> 00:54:36,545 if we should really be saying no to anything... 946 00:54:36,547 --> 00:54:40,519 before we face the long night. 947 00:54:44,554 --> 00:54:48,159 So I'm making a collection of face masks. 948 00:54:49,726 --> 00:54:51,459 What do you think? 949 00:54:51,461 --> 00:54:54,597 You've done this professionally, right? 950 00:54:54,599 --> 00:54:58,766 Well, I don't know, like I've never actually been paid for it. 951 00:54:58,768 --> 00:55:03,405 So, I don't think you could say that I'm a professional. 952 00:55:03,407 --> 00:55:05,941 But, I've done it like 50 times... 953 00:55:05,943 --> 00:55:08,680 and I've only lost two people. 954 00:55:10,414 --> 00:55:11,546 - Lost? - Yeah. 955 00:55:11,548 --> 00:55:12,349 Wait a minute. 956 00:55:14,284 --> 00:55:17,688 The breathing part is a bit tricky. 957 00:55:19,956 --> 00:55:22,391 Okay. 958 00:55:22,393 --> 00:55:24,525 Stop. 959 00:55:24,527 --> 00:55:25,696 You're ticklish. 960 00:55:39,976 --> 00:55:41,779 Sorry, kid. 961 00:55:43,780 --> 00:55:45,916 What're you made of, rocks? 962 00:55:48,485 --> 00:55:50,888 All right, I can do this. 963 00:55:57,360 --> 00:55:59,797 Okay. Okay. Okay. 964 00:56:14,844 --> 00:56:16,313 Did you lose something? 965 00:56:20,016 --> 00:56:21,785 Yeah, yeah, actually. 966 00:56:23,887 --> 00:56:27,021 The engagement ring that you never gave back. 967 00:56:27,023 --> 00:56:28,389 Oh. 968 00:56:28,391 --> 00:56:29,891 Well it's not down there. 969 00:56:29,893 --> 00:56:32,026 - Really? - No. 970 00:56:32,028 --> 00:56:33,632 Wanna check the other side? 971 00:56:39,869 --> 00:56:41,570 Okay, okay, wait-wait-wait. 972 00:56:41,572 --> 00:56:44,907 Mackenzie can never, ever, ever know about this. 973 00:56:44,909 --> 00:56:47,345 - Oh, god. Or Sam. - Of course, of course. 974 00:56:50,347 --> 00:56:52,046 And Eve. 975 00:56:52,048 --> 00:56:54,652 - Don't tell your mother. Right? - Oh, God, no. God, no, not... 976 00:56:57,088 --> 00:56:58,987 And you know, Laurence... you know I love your father. 977 00:56:58,989 --> 00:57:00,789 - I do. I just... - No-no-no. 978 00:57:00,791 --> 00:57:02,391 God, he's the most fucking indiscreet person I know. 979 00:57:02,393 --> 00:57:03,592 Okay. 980 00:57:03,594 --> 00:57:04,927 - Oo! - Oh, god. Oh, god. 981 00:57:04,929 --> 00:57:06,461 Okay, I'm here. Here we go. 982 00:57:06,463 --> 00:57:07,731 Just carry on. 983 00:57:32,088 --> 00:57:34,021 [LAURENCE] What? 984 00:57:34,023 --> 00:57:36,090 I don't know who's worse. 985 00:57:36,092 --> 00:57:38,329 You, for putting this on. 986 00:57:39,764 --> 00:57:42,701 Or you for watching this. 987 00:58:16,699 --> 00:58:19,036 It's hardly a comedy. 988 00:58:24,208 --> 00:58:26,641 (GLASS SMASHING) 989 00:58:26,643 --> 00:58:28,709 My love! 990 00:58:28,711 --> 00:58:30,179 Yes? 991 00:58:30,181 --> 00:58:31,479 My love! 992 00:58:31,481 --> 00:58:33,481 Harold, are you drunk? 993 00:58:33,483 --> 00:58:37,019 I just had the most smashing bottle of wine... 994 00:58:37,021 --> 00:58:39,954 with your smashing ex-husband... 995 00:58:39,956 --> 00:58:42,758 who I think is smashing, by the way. 996 00:58:42,760 --> 00:58:45,594 Ah, well, I'm glad that's going so well. 997 00:58:45,596 --> 00:58:49,831 It is, but what's not going well, my dearest, is us. 998 00:58:49,833 --> 00:58:50,965 Oh, yes? 999 00:58:50,967 --> 00:58:56,804 Yeah, I'm pining for you. 1000 00:58:56,806 --> 00:59:02,778 How can you leave me to languish on this moonlit night... 1001 00:59:02,780 --> 00:59:06,849 alone in my bed, and you alone in yours? 1002 00:59:06,851 --> 00:59:10,052 All right, Mr. Shakespeare, off you go. 1003 00:59:10,054 --> 00:59:12,854 It's bad luck to sleep together the night before. 1004 00:59:12,856 --> 00:59:16,494 - But I... - I'll bend the rules so far. 1005 00:59:21,565 --> 00:59:23,101 That's your lot. 1006 00:59:33,110 --> 00:59:35,142 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1007 00:59:35,144 --> 00:59:38,449 I feel a lot of love about the things... 1008 00:59:45,588 --> 00:59:47,755 Love is in the air. 1009 00:59:47,757 --> 00:59:55,162 [JIMMY] In the air. In the air, love, in the air. 1010 00:59:55,164 --> 00:59:56,634 The last one's up. 1011 01:00:02,239 --> 01:00:03,974 Laurence, my sofa! 1012 01:00:11,782 --> 01:00:14,251 It's just a teensy, weensy bit of spillage. 1013 01:00:16,887 --> 01:00:18,890 I'm gonna get another bottle. 1014 01:00:24,894 --> 01:00:27,965 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1015 01:00:34,871 --> 01:00:38,005 On the scale of bad ideas... 1016 01:00:38,007 --> 01:00:41,142 where do you think this one is? 1017 01:00:41,144 --> 01:00:45,179 I would say it's somewhere between... 1018 01:00:45,181 --> 01:00:49,753 when I kissed George Michael, thinking it was you... 1019 01:00:51,722 --> 01:00:55,289 and you remember that time I surprised you on tour? 1020 01:00:55,291 --> 01:00:57,929 - Oh, yeah, that was bad. - That was terrible. 1021 01:00:59,829 --> 01:01:01,996 - Listen, I... - Yeah, I... 1022 01:01:01,998 --> 01:01:03,164 [SAM] Mom! 1023 01:01:03,166 --> 01:01:05,934 Fuck. Hey, will you turn the light out? 1024 01:01:05,936 --> 01:01:07,769 Why? 1025 01:01:07,771 --> 01:01:09,070 Mom! 1026 01:01:09,072 --> 01:01:11,608 Okay, I'm gonna borrow this. Okay. 1027 01:01:16,847 --> 01:01:18,246 What're you doing? 1028 01:01:18,248 --> 01:01:20,182 I was just borrowing a book. Why are you up? 1029 01:01:20,184 --> 01:01:21,849 I had a nightmare. 1030 01:01:21,851 --> 01:01:24,119 [SAM] You were singing one of your new songs. 1031 01:01:24,121 --> 01:01:26,320 Yeah, it's pretty sick having your own blog, like... 1032 01:01:26,322 --> 01:01:28,657 you can just post whatever you want. 1033 01:01:28,659 --> 01:01:30,992 My mom or whoever can't come on and be like... 1034 01:01:30,994 --> 01:01:32,663 "You can't post that." 1035 01:01:34,097 --> 01:01:36,664 (TEXT NOTIFICATION) 1036 01:01:36,666 --> 01:01:40,101 Oh, whoop. My god, I do not fuckin' believe that. 1037 01:01:40,103 --> 01:01:41,936 - That is my phone. - Who's the Boss? 1038 01:01:41,938 --> 01:01:43,405 That's my phone. 1039 01:01:43,407 --> 01:01:45,907 - Give that to me. - It's the size of a fucking log. 1040 01:01:45,909 --> 01:01:49,144 Saffie, that spanking could do some serious damage. 1041 01:01:49,146 --> 01:01:51,213 Get the fuck off of me! 1042 01:01:51,215 --> 01:01:53,718 And don't you dare call me Saffie, you nosey bitch. 1043 01:01:56,653 --> 01:01:58,019 What? 1044 01:01:58,021 --> 01:02:01,224 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1045 01:02:23,681 --> 01:02:25,780 - That star over there. - What is that? 1046 01:02:25,782 --> 01:02:28,018 I don't know, is it? I'm asking you. 1047 01:02:44,902 --> 01:02:47,938 Now who's the boss, Saffie? Slut! 1048 01:02:49,039 --> 01:02:52,076 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1049 01:02:57,414 --> 01:03:00,418 (WOMAN MOANING SEXUALLY) 1050 01:03:03,786 --> 01:03:05,088 God! 1051 01:03:22,905 --> 01:03:24,307 [HAROLD] Yes! 1052 01:03:45,094 --> 01:03:48,131 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 1053 01:04:08,952 --> 01:04:11,122 Fuck. 1054 01:04:14,358 --> 01:04:16,260 Fuck. 1055 01:04:21,364 --> 01:04:23,800 (SNORING) 1056 01:04:32,376 --> 01:04:34,309 Aw, fuck! 1057 01:04:34,311 --> 01:04:37,882 Fuck! Fuck! 1058 01:04:39,483 --> 01:04:42,920 (MUFFLED YELLING) 1059 01:04:50,393 --> 01:04:52,796 (GROANS) 1060 01:05:05,608 --> 01:05:08,545 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 1061 01:05:12,014 --> 01:05:14,085 Oh my god. 1062 01:05:18,922 --> 01:05:22,260 The sofa looks like Gorbachev's forehead. 1063 01:05:40,443 --> 01:05:41,945 Oh, god. 1064 01:05:46,916 --> 01:05:48,418 (TEXT NOTIFICATION) 1065 01:05:49,452 --> 01:05:52,489 (INDISTINCT DIALOGUE) 1066 01:06:22,085 --> 01:06:24,286 I'm not gonna marry Harold. 1067 01:06:24,288 --> 01:06:25,954 What? Why? 1068 01:06:25,956 --> 01:06:29,691 [EVE] I've been up all night, pacing around. 1069 01:06:29,693 --> 01:06:32,961 What was I thinking, getting married again? 1070 01:06:32,963 --> 01:06:35,963 I have my family, the people that've made the most of me. 1071 01:06:35,965 --> 01:06:38,934 And you know what I realized? 1072 01:06:38,936 --> 01:06:42,537 There is only so much room in the ol' attic. 1073 01:06:42,539 --> 01:06:45,009 Okay, sorry. You lost me. 1074 01:06:46,108 --> 01:06:47,675 New people. 1075 01:06:47,677 --> 01:06:50,612 All that baggage has to go somewhere. 1076 01:06:50,614 --> 01:06:52,981 To make room, I'd have to start rearranging everything... 1077 01:06:52,983 --> 01:06:54,352 that's already up here. 1078 01:06:56,987 --> 01:07:00,258 New or different doesn't necessarily mean better. 1079 01:07:03,994 --> 01:07:05,663 What am I gonna do? 1080 01:07:08,565 --> 01:07:13,601 Well, we've been here before, having similar conversations... 1081 01:07:13,603 --> 01:07:17,505 normally after the marriage has taken place. 1082 01:07:17,507 --> 01:07:22,577 So, in a way, I suppose we could say, we're making progress. 1083 01:07:22,579 --> 01:07:24,045 (KNOCK ON DOOR) 1084 01:07:24,047 --> 01:07:25,483 Come in. 1085 01:07:34,391 --> 01:07:37,427 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 1086 01:07:41,398 --> 01:07:44,264 It's disgusting! It's despicable! 1087 01:07:44,266 --> 01:07:46,501 - It's embarrassing! - What? What? 1088 01:07:46,503 --> 01:07:50,338 How many other of my friends have you shagged! 1089 01:07:50,340 --> 01:07:51,773 - Oh, not now... - Tell me, Dad! 1090 01:07:51,775 --> 01:07:53,208 How many are there? 1091 01:07:53,210 --> 01:07:54,641 - Just tell me! - What do you take me for? 1092 01:07:54,643 --> 01:07:57,981 What do you mean? A fucking pervert! 1093 01:07:59,016 --> 01:08:01,416 - Where is that... - Rose. 1094 01:08:01,418 --> 01:08:03,717 Rose! Darling! 1095 01:08:03,719 --> 01:08:05,552 [ROSE] Where are you, bitch? 1096 01:08:05,554 --> 01:08:09,057 [ROSE] You fucking slut! I'm gonna knock your head off! 1097 01:08:09,059 --> 01:08:12,193 [ROSE] Fucking my dad? What the fuck is wrong with you? 1098 01:08:12,195 --> 01:08:14,695 (BANGING ON DOOR) 1099 01:08:14,697 --> 01:08:18,133 Wow. This got more hits than the piano-playing kitty. 1100 01:08:18,135 --> 01:08:21,135 [PINK] (OVER SPEAKER) What do we have here? 1101 01:08:21,137 --> 01:08:27,107 Looks like Harold... no, "The Boss" and Saffie. 1102 01:08:27,109 --> 01:08:29,477 If I ever see her again, I'm gonna kill her. 1103 01:08:29,479 --> 01:08:31,211 Although it is lucky that she happened to be outside... 1104 01:08:31,213 --> 01:08:33,080 with her phone. 1105 01:08:33,082 --> 01:08:34,348 Pink's a blogger, Dad. 'Course she had her phone. 1106 01:08:34,350 --> 01:08:36,418 Oh my god... 1107 01:08:36,420 --> 01:08:38,218 [PINK] (OVER SPEAKER) I can't believe I'm getting this... 1108 01:08:38,220 --> 01:08:43,126 on camera right now. Oh, yeah. "The Boss" is Harold. 1109 01:08:48,532 --> 01:08:50,365 Nice. That's awesome, Sam. 1110 01:08:50,367 --> 01:08:51,635 Good job, Sammy. 1111 01:08:57,239 --> 01:08:59,641 You knew, didn't you? 1112 01:08:59,643 --> 01:09:03,777 I wanted to come to see you, but I was... 1113 01:09:03,779 --> 01:09:07,648 wondering if maybe by now you had developed... 1114 01:09:07,650 --> 01:09:11,318 a spirit of wry realism... 1115 01:09:11,320 --> 01:09:14,321 with regards to "happily ever after." 1116 01:09:14,323 --> 01:09:16,124 "Wry realism"? 1117 01:09:16,126 --> 01:09:20,227 Yes, well, maybe you were finally ready to live with... 1118 01:09:20,229 --> 01:09:22,263 bumpily ever after. 1119 01:09:22,265 --> 01:09:24,866 Bumpily ever after? 1120 01:09:24,868 --> 01:09:26,800 You think I'm making a mistake? 1121 01:09:26,802 --> 01:09:28,736 With Harold? No. 1122 01:09:28,738 --> 01:09:31,339 Harold's fine. I personally have nothing against him. 1123 01:09:31,341 --> 01:09:34,476 But you deserve way, way better. 1124 01:09:34,478 --> 01:09:38,278 You deserve to be loved... 1125 01:09:38,280 --> 01:09:40,615 because you've always been there to give love. 1126 01:09:40,617 --> 01:09:42,217 You deserve to be honored... 1127 01:09:42,219 --> 01:09:45,452 because you carried this family... 1128 01:09:45,454 --> 01:09:48,589 single-handedly on your shoulders. 1129 01:09:48,591 --> 01:09:52,626 And now it's your turn to take a ride. 1130 01:09:52,628 --> 01:09:56,664 My love, you spent the entire night pacing back and forth... 1131 01:09:56,666 --> 01:09:59,666 in your jammies, and you still look so damn cute. 1132 01:09:59,668 --> 01:10:03,303 And that deserves to be cherished. 1133 01:10:03,305 --> 01:10:05,241 And maybe it was no... 1134 01:10:07,777 --> 01:10:12,349 accident that Harold messed up last night. 1135 01:10:20,590 --> 01:10:23,594 (SOFT MUSIC CONTINUES) 1136 01:10:40,676 --> 01:10:42,612 Oh, Dad. 1137 01:10:44,480 --> 01:10:47,714 You've embarrassed us. 1138 01:10:47,716 --> 01:10:49,349 What you did... 1139 01:10:49,351 --> 01:10:53,823 it was just creepy in so many ways. 1140 01:10:55,524 --> 01:10:58,559 - You watched her grow up. - I know. 1141 01:10:58,561 --> 01:11:00,928 She was Rose's best friend, for God's sake! 1142 01:11:00,930 --> 01:11:05,232 I know. I never meant... it was... 1143 01:11:05,234 --> 01:11:07,568 I want... I just... 1144 01:11:07,570 --> 01:11:09,771 I packed up all my books. 1145 01:11:09,773 --> 01:11:14,375 I really wanted this to work. 1146 01:11:14,377 --> 01:11:17,448 Such a fucking idiot. 1147 01:11:18,681 --> 01:11:20,815 Yeah, you are. 1148 01:11:20,817 --> 01:11:24,451 I thought it was romantic. 1149 01:11:24,453 --> 01:11:26,553 I thought you'd finally found someone... 1150 01:11:26,555 --> 01:11:29,891 to spend the rest of your life with. 1151 01:11:29,893 --> 01:11:31,726 That you weren't gonna be alone. 1152 01:11:31,728 --> 01:11:33,660 I wasn't gonna have to worry about you... 1153 01:11:33,662 --> 01:11:35,396 living on cold pizza anymore. 1154 01:11:35,398 --> 01:11:38,402 Oh, darling, that was not our relationship. 1155 01:11:41,770 --> 01:11:44,440 I thought you'd changed. 1156 01:11:45,641 --> 01:11:47,278 I'm so, so sorry. 1157 01:11:49,613 --> 01:11:52,283 - Come on... - What am I gonna do? 1158 01:12:02,425 --> 01:12:05,460 Well, first of all... 1159 01:12:05,462 --> 01:12:08,499 I'm not the one you should be apologizing to. 1160 01:12:10,033 --> 01:12:13,268 And then, we'll all go back to London... 1161 01:12:13,270 --> 01:12:16,771 and to the shame of you having been caught having sex... 1162 01:12:16,773 --> 01:12:21,576 with a woman nearly 40 years your junior. 1163 01:12:21,578 --> 01:12:24,044 And then you'll have to move to Italy... 1164 01:12:24,046 --> 01:12:26,951 where they don't have a problem with that sort of thing. 1165 01:12:29,351 --> 01:12:32,422 (JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING) 1166 01:12:40,462 --> 01:12:45,402 ♪ What is this thing called love ♪ 1167 01:12:47,904 --> 01:12:52,843 ♪ This funny thing called love ♪ 1168 01:12:55,345 --> 01:13:00,284 ♪ Just who can solve its mystery ♪ 1169 01:13:02,484 --> 01:13:07,423 ♪ Why should it make a fool of me ♪ 1170 01:13:09,826 --> 01:13:14,765 ♪ I saw you there one wonderful day ♪ 1171 01:13:17,399 --> 01:13:22,305 ♪ You took my heart and threw it away ♪ 1172 01:13:23,640 --> 01:13:27,508 ♪ That's why I ask the Lord ♪ 1173 01:13:27,510 --> 01:13:31,845 ♪ In heaven above ♪ 1174 01:13:31,847 --> 01:13:36,787 ♪ What is this thing called love ♪ 1175 01:13:41,123 --> 01:13:42,893 (DOOR OPENS) 1176 01:13:45,962 --> 01:13:47,398 (MUSIC CLICKS OFF) 1177 01:13:49,466 --> 01:13:54,402 I gather you've heard, I've gone and ballsed this up. 1178 01:13:54,404 --> 01:13:56,003 My cue to exit. 1179 01:13:56,005 --> 01:13:59,542 No... you may as well stay. 1180 01:14:02,979 --> 01:14:07,048 Eve, I really wanted to be that man. 1181 01:14:07,050 --> 01:14:11,119 The best man, you know, for you! 1182 01:14:11,121 --> 01:14:15,522 You were so utterly... 1183 01:14:15,524 --> 01:14:19,861 fucking fabulous and gorgeous and smart and charming. 1184 01:14:19,863 --> 01:14:23,164 And I thought I could change. 1185 01:14:23,166 --> 01:14:27,402 But it's just not me. 1186 01:14:27,404 --> 01:14:31,037 I'm so sorry that I have caused you this humiliation. 1187 01:14:31,039 --> 01:14:35,479 I just wish I could have it all directed at me. 1188 01:14:39,815 --> 01:14:41,684 Harold. 1189 01:14:43,685 --> 01:14:47,854 You might want to think about growing up. 1190 01:14:47,856 --> 01:14:51,759 Chasing 25-year-olds at your age... 1191 01:14:51,761 --> 01:14:54,629 it looks very sad. 1192 01:14:54,631 --> 01:14:56,763 I look like a swine. 1193 01:14:56,765 --> 01:15:00,768 Way more sad than that. 1194 01:15:00,770 --> 01:15:03,905 I am so fucked! 1195 01:15:03,907 --> 01:15:06,973 Harold, before you start flagellating yourself... 1196 01:15:06,975 --> 01:15:09,910 like a monk, may I say something? 1197 01:15:09,912 --> 01:15:14,147 Eve is a fabulous woman. She's a major catch. 1198 01:15:14,149 --> 01:15:17,518 And I'd say that sadly, from experience... 1199 01:15:17,520 --> 01:15:20,120 you're the one who lost out here. 1200 01:15:20,122 --> 01:15:22,924 And, if it makes you feel any better... 1201 01:15:22,926 --> 01:15:26,160 the reason I'm here in her bedroom is because... 1202 01:15:26,162 --> 01:15:29,629 she wanted to tell me that she wasn't going... 1203 01:15:29,631 --> 01:15:33,800 through with the marriage, and this was before... 1204 01:15:33,802 --> 01:15:37,571 you broke the internet with your... 1205 01:15:37,573 --> 01:15:41,444 Legends of the AARP vine. 1206 01:15:42,679 --> 01:15:45,815 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 1207 01:16:04,234 --> 01:16:06,233 [RORY] Hey. 1208 01:16:06,235 --> 01:16:08,134 I'm so sorry. 1209 01:16:08,136 --> 01:16:09,870 You know what? 1210 01:16:09,872 --> 01:16:12,742 When it comes to apologizing for parents who behave badly... 1211 01:16:14,176 --> 01:16:16,746 we are a family of world champs. 1212 01:16:20,015 --> 01:16:21,751 - Thank you. - Sure. 1213 01:16:23,853 --> 01:16:27,854 I did not expect this weekend to pan out like this. 1214 01:16:27,856 --> 01:16:29,891 No. 1215 01:16:29,893 --> 01:16:32,692 How is everybody? 1216 01:16:32,694 --> 01:16:35,530 Rose and Saffron aren't speaking. 1217 01:16:35,532 --> 01:16:37,865 I don't think they ever will again. 1218 01:16:37,867 --> 01:16:39,534 That bad, huh? 1219 01:16:39,536 --> 01:16:41,968 Well, not until they both coincidentally... 1220 01:16:41,970 --> 01:16:44,774 have teenage children in rehab in Minnesota. 1221 01:16:47,109 --> 01:16:48,778 How 'bout you? 1222 01:16:50,179 --> 01:16:53,680 I think I'm done trying to worry everyone... 1223 01:16:53,682 --> 01:16:55,750 into making the right decision. 1224 01:16:55,752 --> 01:16:58,018 They always make the same stupid decision... 1225 01:16:58,020 --> 01:17:00,220 they were going to anyway. 1226 01:17:00,222 --> 01:17:02,893 I think it's my turn to make a stupid decision, actually. 1227 01:17:13,136 --> 01:17:14,968 I'm sorry, that was really stupid, wasn't it... 1228 01:17:14,970 --> 01:17:16,706 No, no, no, no. 1229 01:17:19,309 --> 01:17:21,244 I can be way more stupid than that. 1230 01:17:36,359 --> 01:17:38,729 So how did you see this weekend panning out? 1231 01:17:39,929 --> 01:17:43,132 Well, kinda like this. 1232 01:17:45,335 --> 01:17:46,869 And what gave you that impression? 1233 01:17:49,072 --> 01:17:51,275 How we chop mint. 1234 01:17:52,942 --> 01:17:54,845 We've got the same taste in music. 1235 01:17:56,279 --> 01:17:58,345 That is important. 1236 01:17:58,347 --> 01:18:00,680 Yes, it is. 1237 01:18:00,682 --> 01:18:02,950 And... 1238 01:18:02,952 --> 01:18:07,287 you got a whole lotta new material for your next novel. 1239 01:18:07,289 --> 01:18:08,992 Oh yeah, masses. 1240 01:18:10,893 --> 01:18:12,328 You know what I think? 1241 01:18:13,930 --> 01:18:15,865 I think you should stay in New York... 1242 01:18:17,699 --> 01:18:20,871 and do a little research on some of the American characters. 1243 01:18:24,373 --> 01:18:26,007 Well, I can think of one. 1244 01:18:26,009 --> 01:18:27,808 Okay. 1245 01:18:27,810 --> 01:18:32,045 But, I'm a little worried that he wants to eat me... 1246 01:18:32,047 --> 01:18:35,318 with some fava beans and nice Chianti. 1247 01:18:36,853 --> 01:18:39,352 Look, I think I oughtta tell you something. 1248 01:18:39,354 --> 01:18:42,658 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1249 01:18:46,962 --> 01:18:49,996 You don't have to say goodbye. Just jump in the car. 1250 01:18:49,998 --> 01:18:51,132 It's great to see you. 1251 01:18:51,134 --> 01:18:52,202 - Thank you so much. - Bye. 1252 01:18:53,903 --> 01:18:55,905 Bye. Bye. 1253 01:19:11,688 --> 01:19:15,255 I have a lot of answering to do, to all of you... 1254 01:19:15,257 --> 01:19:17,391 and I will. 1255 01:19:17,393 --> 01:19:20,760 But for now, I want you to know... 1256 01:19:20,762 --> 01:19:23,397 that I'm so sorry for having let you all down. 1257 01:19:23,399 --> 01:19:27,802 But, I promise you, we will get over this... 1258 01:19:27,804 --> 01:19:29,836 and we will move forward, together. 1259 01:19:29,838 --> 01:19:32,072 Yeah. Right, Dad. 1260 01:19:32,074 --> 01:19:33,874 I'm stopping off in New York. 1261 01:19:33,876 --> 01:19:35,175 What? 1262 01:19:35,177 --> 01:19:37,911 Probably gonna stay for a few months. 1263 01:19:37,913 --> 01:19:39,446 You two are on your own. 1264 01:19:39,448 --> 01:19:40,781 No, Clemmie. 1265 01:19:40,783 --> 01:19:44,054 You'll be fine. You'll be fine. 1266 01:19:48,291 --> 01:19:50,424 Mom... 1267 01:19:50,426 --> 01:19:54,061 if you sleep with your friend, does it ruin the friendship? 1268 01:19:54,063 --> 01:19:57,330 - Oh, well, it never did for me. - Really? 1269 01:19:57,332 --> 01:19:59,500 Yeah, but, I can count my real friends on one hand. 1270 01:19:59,502 --> 01:20:02,870 I mean, actually I don't even need one hand. 1271 01:20:02,872 --> 01:20:07,074 You know, the important part is... 1272 01:20:07,076 --> 01:20:10,477 not working on staying friends afterwards. 1273 01:20:10,479 --> 01:20:13,947 That's what ruins it. 1274 01:20:13,949 --> 01:20:16,217 But you don't have to worry about that, 'cause you know... 1275 01:20:16,219 --> 01:20:18,018 you're gonna have kids with like 15 fingers. 1276 01:20:18,020 --> 01:20:19,219 - You're gonna have way bigger... - Oh, my god. 1277 01:20:19,221 --> 01:20:20,854 things to worry about. 1278 01:20:20,856 --> 01:20:22,223 - Giant gloves. - That's not... 1279 01:20:22,225 --> 01:20:24,290 - Maybe mittens. - That's not even funny. 1280 01:20:24,292 --> 01:20:25,327 That's better, right? 1281 01:20:27,395 --> 01:20:28,862 All right. 1282 01:20:28,864 --> 01:20:30,964 I'm a good mommy. 1283 01:20:30,966 --> 01:20:32,500 - Yeah. - I gotta go. 1284 01:20:32,502 --> 01:20:36,306 - Why? - I gotta go call Sam's dad. 1285 01:20:37,405 --> 01:20:38,973 Okay. 1286 01:20:38,975 --> 01:20:42,179 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 1287 01:20:46,082 --> 01:20:48,719 Oh, god, I'm gonna have to say something. 1288 01:21:06,002 --> 01:21:07,871 I'll do it. 1289 01:21:16,011 --> 01:21:18,312 (INDISTINCT CHATTER) 1290 01:21:18,314 --> 01:21:21,284 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1291 01:21:33,996 --> 01:21:38,499 Hello, everyone. I have an announcement to make. 1292 01:21:38,501 --> 01:21:43,204 After much deliberation and mature reflection... 1293 01:21:43,206 --> 01:21:45,039 by the parties in question... 1294 01:21:45,041 --> 01:21:48,241 it has been mutually decided... 1295 01:21:48,243 --> 01:21:51,111 that the advertised wedding... 1296 01:21:51,113 --> 01:21:53,214 will not be going forward. 1297 01:21:53,216 --> 01:21:57,985 Now, I know that's a disappointment to everyone... 1298 01:21:57,987 --> 01:22:01,021 but, look at it this way... 1299 01:22:01,023 --> 01:22:06,363 at least we won't have to have pasta afta the ballet. 1300 01:22:08,264 --> 01:22:10,467 Too soon. Very well. 1301 01:22:12,100 --> 01:22:13,302 Boys. 1302 01:22:15,904 --> 01:22:20,206 Boys, if you would, a clever and imaginative toast, please? 1303 01:22:20,208 --> 01:22:21,942 To calling it off? 1304 01:22:21,944 --> 01:22:26,914 Well done. To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1305 01:22:26,916 --> 01:22:28,249 Cheers. 1306 01:22:28,251 --> 01:22:30,183 To Eve and Harold for calling it off. 1307 01:22:30,185 --> 01:22:34,220 However, Judge McCaffery is here. Everything is set up. 1308 01:22:34,222 --> 01:22:37,357 Why not take advantage? 1309 01:22:37,359 --> 01:22:40,960 So would anyone like to get married today? 1310 01:22:40,962 --> 01:22:43,097 Anybody at all? It's all on us. 1311 01:22:43,099 --> 01:22:47,601 Actually, it's on Eve, because I'm incredibly cheap. 1312 01:22:47,603 --> 01:22:49,338 Anybody? 1313 01:22:51,439 --> 01:22:55,976 No, okay. Well, I have a suggestion. 1314 01:22:55,978 --> 01:22:58,312 Eve? 1315 01:22:58,314 --> 01:23:01,318 Eve, show yourself! 1316 01:23:05,087 --> 01:23:08,191 (GUESTS CLAPPING) 1317 01:23:14,963 --> 01:23:19,633 My dear, before another marriage ends in divorce or death... 1318 01:23:19,635 --> 01:23:24,103 why don't we just cut to the chase and tie the knot? 1319 01:23:24,105 --> 01:23:25,272 (ALL GASPING) 1320 01:23:25,274 --> 01:23:27,007 What? 1321 01:23:27,009 --> 01:23:29,677 I mean, if there is somebody else you'd like to marry... 1322 01:23:29,679 --> 01:23:33,483 first, before you remarry me, that's... that's fine. 1323 01:23:35,016 --> 01:23:36,517 Boys, what do you think? 1324 01:23:36,519 --> 01:23:37,617 You're on your own here, Dad. 1325 01:23:37,619 --> 01:23:39,419 Oh I definitely wanna hear this. 1326 01:23:39,421 --> 01:23:43,123 Mom, it's Dad, so, a prenup is a must. 1327 01:23:43,125 --> 01:23:45,662 Thanks, kids, you're out of the will. 1328 01:23:50,632 --> 01:23:54,968 Eve, I've done some stupid things in my life. 1329 01:23:54,970 --> 01:23:59,308 But that was actually the younger, dumber me. 1330 01:24:01,409 --> 01:24:04,978 I remember him well. 1331 01:24:04,980 --> 01:24:08,081 I constantly hear people say... 1332 01:24:08,083 --> 01:24:13,286 they're looking for the person they wanna grow old with. 1333 01:24:13,288 --> 01:24:17,724 But we're here, now... living it right now. 1334 01:24:17,726 --> 01:24:20,995 I wanna grow old with you. 1335 01:24:20,997 --> 01:24:24,565 I wanna spend the rest of my life with you. 1336 01:24:24,567 --> 01:24:27,567 Will you be my wife? 1337 01:24:27,569 --> 01:24:29,639 Will you marry me? 1338 01:24:32,073 --> 01:24:35,675 Again? 1339 01:24:35,677 --> 01:24:38,547 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 1340 01:24:49,324 --> 01:24:51,458 Yes. 1341 01:24:51,460 --> 01:24:54,297 (MUSIC CHANGES) 1342 01:25:05,306 --> 01:25:06,675 Come on down here. 1343 01:25:08,444 --> 01:25:10,046 I do. 1344 01:25:13,649 --> 01:25:16,586 Then I pronounce you man and wife. 1345 01:25:21,056 --> 01:25:23,557 (GUESTS CLAPPING, CHEERING) 1346 01:25:23,559 --> 01:25:26,596 (MUSIC CONTINUES) 1347 01:25:43,311 --> 01:25:46,213 All-in-all, I would have to say, it was one of Eve's... 1348 01:25:46,215 --> 01:25:49,715 more entertaining family get-togethers. 1349 01:25:49,717 --> 01:25:53,253 Laughter, tears, love, and sex. 1350 01:25:53,255 --> 01:25:55,455 Who could quibble? 1351 01:25:55,457 --> 01:25:57,723 Do you know where your grandmother is? 1352 01:25:57,725 --> 01:26:00,326 Sorry, one second, I'll be right back... 1353 01:26:00,328 --> 01:26:02,562 I just wanted to show her something. 1354 01:26:02,564 --> 01:26:05,365 And, could you cut the "grandmother" bit? 1355 01:26:05,367 --> 01:26:06,735 Otherwise, it's... 1356 01:26:13,576 --> 01:26:15,209 Actors. 1357 01:26:15,211 --> 01:26:18,213 (MUSIC PLAYING) 1358 01:26:32,494 --> 01:26:36,196 ♪ I bought a toothbrush some toothpaste ♪ 1359 01:26:36,198 --> 01:26:38,565 ♪ A flannel for my face ♪ 1360 01:26:38,567 --> 01:26:43,504 ♪ Pajamas a hairbrush New shoes and a case ♪ 1361 01:26:43,506 --> 01:26:49,479 ♪ I said to my reflection Let's get out of this place ♪ 1362 01:26:51,546 --> 01:26:54,548 ♪ Past the church and the steeple ♪ 1363 01:26:54,550 --> 01:26:57,151 ♪ The laundry on the hill ♪ 1364 01:26:57,153 --> 01:26:59,686 ♪ The billboards and the buildings ♪ 1365 01:26:59,688 --> 01:27:02,421 ♪ Memories of it still ♪ 1366 01:27:02,423 --> 01:27:07,460 ♪ Keep calling and calling ♪ 1367 01:27:07,462 --> 01:27:11,701 ♪ But forget it all I know I will ♪ 1368 01:27:13,536 --> 01:27:17,340 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1369 01:27:18,740 --> 01:27:23,210 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1370 01:27:23,212 --> 01:27:28,447 ♪ What's been going on Now that you have gone ♪ 1371 01:27:28,449 --> 01:27:31,585 ♪ There's no other ♪ 1372 01:27:31,587 --> 01:27:35,358 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1373 01:27:37,626 --> 01:27:41,730 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1374 01:27:43,865 --> 01:27:45,766 [MACKENZIE] (VO) Look at them. 1375 01:27:45,768 --> 01:27:47,601 Standing around the piano like they're singing... 1376 01:27:47,603 --> 01:27:49,736 The Circle of Life... 1377 01:27:49,738 --> 01:27:52,738 when they're actually singing a song about cheating. 1378 01:27:52,740 --> 01:27:54,708 See, I told you. 1379 01:27:54,710 --> 01:28:00,647 When it comes to my family, love is just one big mystery. 1380 01:28:00,649 --> 01:28:06,320 ♪ Now that you have gone There's no other ♪ 1381 01:28:06,322 --> 01:28:10,490 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1382 01:28:10,492 --> 01:28:15,664 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1383 01:28:19,001 --> 01:28:23,206 ♪ Well I was tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1384 01:28:25,306 --> 01:28:28,510 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1385 01:28:30,345 --> 01:28:33,482 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1386 01:28:35,317 --> 01:28:40,254 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1387 01:28:40,256 --> 01:28:43,326 ♪ Tempted by the fruit of another ♪ 1388 01:28:45,527 --> 01:28:48,961 ♪ Tempted but the truth is discovered ♪ 1389 01:28:48,963 --> 01:28:52,668 ♪ Now what's been going on ♪ 1390 01:29:03,045 --> 01:29:06,382 (SOFT MUSIC PLAYING) 1391 01:29:08,283 --> 01:29:10,252 Wait for it. 1392 01:29:12,854 --> 01:29:14,590 [LAURENCE] Wait. 1393 01:29:15,923 --> 01:29:17,694 [LAURENCE] Going. 1394 01:29:19,328 --> 01:29:20,830 Going. 1395 01:29:23,564 --> 01:29:25,268 Gone. 1396 01:29:33,542 --> 01:29:36,312 Almost dark. 1397 01:29:47,323 --> 01:29:48,421 There. 1398 01:29:48,423 --> 01:29:51,661 (MUSIC FADES UP) 1399 01:29:51,802 --> 01:29:56,802 Subtitles by explosiveskull 1400 01:30:14,615 --> 01:30:17,586 (MUSIC CHANGES) 1401 01:32:03,024 --> 01:32:06,027 (MUSIC CHANGES) 1402 01:32:26,047 --> 01:32:30,584 ♪ We we are the ones who love you ♪ 1403 01:32:30,586 --> 01:32:33,486 ♪ We are the ones who hurt you ♪ 1404 01:32:33,488 --> 01:32:37,656 ♪ We are the ones who heal you ♪ 1405 01:32:37,658 --> 01:32:41,928 ♪ I want to see into the shadows ♪ 1406 01:32:41,930 --> 01:32:44,697 ♪ I can take a bit of madness ♪ 1407 01:32:44,699 --> 01:32:46,735 ♪ It's lucky 'cause we've seen a lot ♪ 1408 01:32:49,738 --> 01:32:52,742 ♪ And I never said that this was organized ♪ 1409 01:32:55,243 --> 01:32:58,514 ♪ And I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1410 01:33:01,015 --> 01:33:04,820 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1411 01:33:06,889 --> 01:33:09,826 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 1412 01:33:11,926 --> 01:33:16,228 ♪ So let's hear it for the mothers ♪ 1413 01:33:16,230 --> 01:33:21,069 ♪ Sisters dads and brothers We're all in the same ol mess ♪ 1414 01:33:23,305 --> 01:33:27,072 ♪ I don't want to see into the future ♪ 1415 01:33:27,074 --> 01:33:30,009 ♪ Because I'm okay if I can reach you ♪ 1416 01:33:30,011 --> 01:33:32,247 ♪ And I'll take that above all else ♪ 1417 01:33:35,250 --> 01:33:38,554 ♪ And I never said that this was organized ♪ 1418 01:33:41,122 --> 01:33:43,558 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1419 01:33:46,828 --> 01:33:50,566 ♪ But I know I've loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1420 01:33:52,600 --> 01:33:55,505 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 1421 01:33:58,206 --> 01:34:01,511 ♪ I never said that this was organized ♪ 1422 01:34:03,979 --> 01:34:06,782 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1423 01:34:09,717 --> 01:34:12,755 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1424 01:34:15,591 --> 01:34:18,694 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 1425 01:34:55,262 --> 01:34:59,135 ♪ I never said that this was organized ♪ 1426 01:35:01,069 --> 01:35:04,073 ♪ I never said that we'd be fine ♪ 1427 01:35:06,908 --> 01:35:10,079 ♪ But I know I loved you throughout all these years ♪ 1428 01:35:12,413 --> 01:35:15,951 ♪ With you this chaos seems to bind ♪ 105244