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Subtitles by explosiveskull
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This is Eddie Krumble.
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00:00:47,512 --> 00:00:48,747
Leave a message at the beep.
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00:00:50,214 --> 00:00:51,982
Eddie, it's your mother.
5
00:00:51,984 --> 00:00:54,718
I'm leaving this message
on your machine.
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00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:58,124
We saw you on the television
here on your real estate show.
7
00:00:58,756 --> 00:01:02,028
You looked very handsome.
Call your mother.
8
00:01:04,028 --> 00:01:06,729
So you're trying to tell me,
with no money down,
9
00:01:06,731 --> 00:01:08,598
I can get a house?
10
00:01:08,600 --> 00:01:09,732
This is Eddie Krumble.
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00:01:09,734 --> 00:01:12,869
- Leave a message at the beep.
- I can get a house.
12
00:01:12,871 --> 00:01:14,870
Eddie,
it's the machine again.
13
00:01:14,872 --> 00:01:15,707
House.
14
00:01:16,741 --> 00:01:17,840
You're trying to tell me,
with no money down,
15
00:01:17,842 --> 00:01:18,875
- I can get a house?
- We're freezing here.
16
00:01:18,877 --> 00:01:21,044
You're trying to tell me,
with no money down,
17
00:01:21,046 --> 00:01:23,280
- I can get a house?
- We live in an icebox.
18
00:01:23,282 --> 00:01:25,015
I can get a house?
19
00:01:25,017 --> 00:01:27,250
A house? House?
20
00:01:27,252 --> 00:01:28,955
Eddie, tell 'em...
21
00:01:40,966 --> 00:01:45,872
♪ Now and again,
I'm getting sore ♪
22
00:01:48,073 --> 00:01:52,744
♪ We saw them getting more ♪
23
00:01:54,713 --> 00:01:59,652
♪ Now and again, I get bored ♪
24
00:02:01,687 --> 00:02:06,092
♪ We saw them shake the shore ♪
25
00:02:08,593 --> 00:02:13,031
♪ We saw them shake the shore ♪
26
00:02:29,113 --> 00:02:34,719
♪ Let's go outdoors ♪
27
00:02:35,187 --> 00:02:39,958
♪ It's a hearty haze
With strange decor ♪
28
00:02:42,728 --> 00:02:48,166
♪ Let's go outdoors ♪
29
00:02:48,867 --> 00:02:54,106
♪ It's a funny phase
To making more ♪
30
00:02:55,841 --> 00:03:01,046
♪ It's a funny phase
To making more ♪
31
00:03:10,254 --> 00:03:14,993
♪ Now and again, I keep score ♪
32
00:03:17,129 --> 00:03:21,634
♪ We saw them taking more ♪
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00:03:23,735 --> 00:03:28,641
♪ Now and again, I get bored ♪
34
00:03:30,942 --> 00:03:35,113
♪ We saw them shake the shore ♪
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00:03:37,449 --> 00:03:42,088
♪ We saw them shake the shore ♪
36
00:03:44,289 --> 00:03:49,028
♪ Let's go outdoors ♪
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00:03:51,696 --> 00:03:56,768
♪ Let's go outdoors ♪
38
00:03:57,268 --> 00:04:02,174
♪ It's a hearty haze
With strange decor ♪
39
00:04:04,176 --> 00:04:09,948
♪ It's a hearty haze
With strange decor ♪
40
00:04:12,117 --> 00:04:16,186
♪ Let's go outdoors ♪
41
00:04:16,188 --> 00:04:19,022
Next stop,
Hollywood and Highland.
42
00:04:19,024 --> 00:04:20,760
Enjoy your day.
43
00:04:25,162 --> 00:04:28,797
Hollywood bus tour!
$13 all day. Hop in, hop off.
44
00:04:28,799 --> 00:04:31,900
Hollywood bus tour.
Hey, Hollywood bus tour.
45
00:04:31,902 --> 00:04:34,003
Hollywood bus tour!
Hollywood bus tour!
46
00:04:34,005 --> 00:04:36,438
Hollywood bus tour.
Hop on, hop off, $13 all.
47
00:04:36,440 --> 00:04:38,006
- Hey!
- Harry!
48
00:04:38,008 --> 00:04:40,943
Hey, Chris, Eddie.
Another day in hell, huh?
49
00:04:40,945 --> 00:04:42,946
Living the dream,
living the dream.
50
00:04:42,948 --> 00:04:44,813
Hey, you doing
your shows today?
51
00:04:44,815 --> 00:04:47,484
Yeah, I got two questions.
Extra hundred bucks.
52
00:04:47,486 --> 00:04:49,986
Outta sight! Hey, you gotta
hook me up with that.
53
00:04:49,988 --> 00:04:52,489
I'll try, you know?
Making a living, right?
54
00:04:52,491 --> 00:04:54,424
Making a living, yeah.
Hollywood bus tour!
55
00:04:54,426 --> 00:04:56,993
Hop on, hop off.
$13 all day.
56
00:04:56,995 --> 00:04:59,027
Hollywood bus tour.
Hollywood bus tour, sir?
57
00:04:59,029 --> 00:05:01,965
Hop on, hop off, all day.
See Hollywood.
58
00:05:01,967 --> 00:05:04,234
- You good?
- I'm good.
59
00:05:04,236 --> 00:05:05,801
Filled up? All right.
60
00:05:05,803 --> 00:05:08,972
No money down!
No money down!
61
00:05:08,974 --> 00:05:13,042
No money down!
No money down!
62
00:05:13,044 --> 00:05:14,977
Yes, yes!
That's absolutely right!
63
00:05:14,979 --> 00:05:16,815
And remember,
what you're talking about here
64
00:05:16,981 --> 00:05:20,984
is almost an acre of property
for pennies on the dollar!
65
00:05:20,986 --> 00:05:25,087
Pennies on the dollar!
Pennies on the dollar!
66
00:05:25,089 --> 00:05:28,294
And at Tranquil Estates,
we have seven lakes
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00:05:28,493 --> 00:05:30,559
just teeming with catfish,
68
00:05:30,561 --> 00:05:32,864
thirteen playgrounds
and three golf courses.
69
00:05:33,130 --> 00:05:35,467
Yes, go tweet about that
right now, sir.
70
00:05:38,169 --> 00:05:40,537
Uh-huh, yes, sir.
71
00:05:40,539 --> 00:05:43,438
So you mean to tell me,
with no money down,
72
00:05:43,440 --> 00:05:44,873
I can buy a house?
73
00:05:44,875 --> 00:05:47,342
You're a fine listener, sir.
Exactly!
74
00:05:47,344 --> 00:05:50,479
Yes, my friends, we want you
to enjoy the neighbors,
75
00:05:50,481 --> 00:05:52,047
the Clooneys,
the Kardashians,
76
00:05:52,049 --> 00:05:54,886
and that's if we still
have a lot for them.
77
00:06:01,226 --> 00:06:03,193
One resident
was candidly quoted as saying,
78
00:06:03,195 --> 00:06:06,462
the earth simply opened up,
and down the drain they went.
79
00:06:06,464 --> 00:06:07,967
Oh!
80
00:06:08,566 --> 00:06:09,532
Yeah, right?
81
00:06:09,534 --> 00:06:11,434
One day you're doing stuff,
the next day...
82
00:06:11,436 --> 00:06:13,169
You put yourself out there,
83
00:06:13,171 --> 00:06:15,071
something's bound to happen
sooner or later.
84
00:06:15,073 --> 00:06:17,176
Keep it simple.
That's what I'm saying.
85
00:06:17,976 --> 00:06:20,176
Pay me to clap,
maybe I get a question,
86
00:06:20,178 --> 00:06:22,177
make a few extra bucks,
I'm good.
87
00:06:22,179 --> 00:06:23,479
Oh, my God, no way.
88
00:06:23,481 --> 00:06:25,849
Alan Thicke, Alan Thicke!
That's crazy.
89
00:06:25,851 --> 00:06:27,150
Me and Chris, we were
just talking about you.
90
00:06:27,152 --> 00:06:29,018
We were in the audience.
I asked the question.
91
00:06:29,020 --> 00:06:30,587
No money down,
not one penny.
92
00:06:30,589 --> 00:06:33,455
Hey, you remembered that.
Good. Oh, great.
93
00:06:33,457 --> 00:06:35,924
By the way,
you said that perfectly.
94
00:06:35,926 --> 00:06:38,328
You nailed that line,
and you looked good.
95
00:06:38,330 --> 00:06:41,431
You guys were very good.
Best audience money can buy.
96
00:06:41,433 --> 00:06:43,165
That place is nice, right?
97
00:06:43,167 --> 00:06:45,234
Yeah, you're gonna...
you're gonna love it there.
98
00:06:45,236 --> 00:06:46,337
Sign up.
99
00:06:47,472 --> 00:06:51,506
So if I wanted to get a place
for, like, like just...
100
00:06:51,508 --> 00:06:53,943
No money down.
Not one penny.
101
00:06:53,945 --> 00:06:57,013
No money down! Yeah! Sorry.
Just from the show, right?
102
00:06:57,015 --> 00:06:58,914
- Yeah, you were listening.
- That's great.
103
00:06:58,916 --> 00:07:01,217
He's a candidate, that guy.
104
00:07:01,219 --> 00:07:04,921
Listen, you know, I just come
by here to grab a bite to eat,
105
00:07:04,923 --> 00:07:07,523
take it home with me,
long day at the office.
106
00:07:07,525 --> 00:07:09,092
I don't mean to bother you
or nothing.
107
00:07:09,094 --> 00:07:12,996
I'm asking Alan Thicke.
Is it really down there?
108
00:07:12,998 --> 00:07:15,498
Tell you what, the food's
taking a little while, okay?
109
00:07:15,500 --> 00:07:17,236
But here's what's gonna happen.
110
00:07:18,236 --> 00:07:21,841
If you guys don't shut up,
I'm gonna kill ya.
111
00:07:22,106 --> 00:07:25,376
And I'll hurt your friend.
Have a nice day.
112
00:07:26,477 --> 00:07:29,244
- How much gas do you need?
- Well, you never know.
113
00:07:29,246 --> 00:07:31,013
You just got
a quarter tank.
114
00:07:31,015 --> 00:07:33,082
I think you just like
going to this gas station.
115
00:07:33,084 --> 00:07:34,253
I'll be right back.
116
00:07:38,589 --> 00:07:40,092
- Hi, Judy.
- Hi, Eddie.
117
00:07:40,358 --> 00:07:44,963
Hey, so, um,
I'll do four dollars and...
118
00:07:46,498 --> 00:07:49,465
- Four-fifty.
- Pump three.
119
00:07:49,467 --> 00:07:51,236
I saw Chris earlier.
120
00:07:52,703 --> 00:07:54,403
Um, sorry, the speaker's broke.
121
00:07:54,405 --> 00:07:56,071
I saw Chris earlier.
122
00:07:56,073 --> 00:07:57,539
Oh, Chris?
Yeah, he's in the car.
123
00:07:57,541 --> 00:07:58,911
Gas can.
124
00:07:59,144 --> 00:08:01,247
Oh, he had a dog with him?
125
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,114
What?
126
00:08:05,116 --> 00:08:06,517
A dog?
127
00:08:06,952 --> 00:08:09,021
I can't hear you.
128
00:08:10,988 --> 00:08:13,157
- Um, sorry.
- I can't... What?
129
00:08:13,491 --> 00:08:14,894
The speaker's broken.
130
00:08:15,626 --> 00:08:19,462
The... Can you hear me?
131
00:08:19,464 --> 00:08:21,000
Oh, yeah.
132
00:08:21,599 --> 00:08:24,534
Yeah, if you go over there
by the pump,
133
00:08:24,536 --> 00:08:26,001
you can hear me better.
134
00:08:26,003 --> 00:08:28,604
- Back here?
- Can you hear me now?
135
00:08:28,606 --> 00:08:31,140
- Okay.
- But I can hear you.
136
00:08:31,142 --> 00:08:33,142
- Right here.
- It's broken every other day.
137
00:08:33,144 --> 00:08:34,744
Yeah, you're right there.
138
00:08:34,746 --> 00:08:36,378
You said Chris has a dog?
139
00:08:36,380 --> 00:08:39,449
He walks his friend
Walter's dog, yeah.
140
00:08:39,451 --> 00:08:41,183
He's an optometrist.
141
00:08:41,185 --> 00:08:43,319
At least he says he is,
but I don't know.
142
00:08:43,321 --> 00:08:44,456
Chris's dog?
143
00:08:44,655 --> 00:08:48,059
No, the dog's not
an optometrist, Judy.
144
00:08:49,526 --> 00:08:51,195
Unbelievable.
145
00:08:51,996 --> 00:08:53,933
You know what would be
a good idea?
146
00:08:54,299 --> 00:08:56,431
I mean, just off
the top of my head,
147
00:08:56,433 --> 00:09:00,436
maybe put out some flash cards
for the customers
148
00:09:00,438 --> 00:09:03,373
so they can hold up the cards
that say what they want,
149
00:09:03,375 --> 00:09:07,442
like "cigarettes"
or "I want more gas" or...
150
00:09:07,444 --> 00:09:09,412
- Lottery tickets?
- Yeah, lottery tickets!
151
00:09:09,414 --> 00:09:12,715
You know, different cards for
when the speaker goes out.
152
00:09:12,717 --> 00:09:15,553
Yeah, that would be
really helpful.
153
00:09:16,020 --> 00:09:18,056
You always have
such good ideas.
154
00:09:18,555 --> 00:09:20,057
Yeah, thanks.
155
00:09:25,597 --> 00:09:28,096
Oh, my God,
you're killing me!
156
00:09:28,098 --> 00:09:30,134
I'm gonna get the gas, Judy.
157
00:09:30,769 --> 00:09:33,172
- All right.
- Bye.
158
00:09:35,539 --> 00:09:36,773
Bye, Eddie.
159
00:09:36,775 --> 00:09:38,407
Pull the trigger,
dispense the nail,
160
00:09:38,409 --> 00:09:40,609
and whack it in with one hand.
Or switch hands.
161
00:09:40,611 --> 00:09:42,713
It'll feel like someone else
is whacking it for you.
162
00:09:44,749 --> 00:09:48,551
So what you're telling me is,
"Goodbye, conventional hammer?"
163
00:09:48,553 --> 00:09:50,286
You hit the nail
on the head, sir.
164
00:09:50,288 --> 00:09:52,254
Goodbye, conventional hammer.
Goodbye, conventional nails.
165
00:09:52,256 --> 00:09:53,523
Goodbye, conventional life.
166
00:09:53,525 --> 00:09:56,227
And hello, Nailhammer!
167
00:09:59,197 --> 00:10:00,463
Much better
on the question, Eddie,
168
00:10:00,465 --> 00:10:02,632
but, Chris, you have
to be laughing harder
169
00:10:02,634 --> 00:10:04,267
when that sign comes on.
170
00:10:04,269 --> 00:10:06,502
Your little chuckles
aren't gonna cut it anymore.
171
00:10:06,504 --> 00:10:08,237
- No more chuckles.
- Right.
172
00:10:08,239 --> 00:10:10,473
And, Alma, enough with
the sandwiches already, okay?
173
00:10:10,475 --> 00:10:12,678
We're trying to do a show.
Stop with the eat...
174
00:10:13,678 --> 00:10:16,646
I had two questions today.
That's like an extra 100 bucks.
175
00:10:16,648 --> 00:10:20,550
Uh, sorry, word from above is
no more bonuses for speaking.
176
00:10:20,552 --> 00:10:23,452
- Yugoslavia!
- Yes, ma'am.
177
00:10:23,454 --> 00:10:26,122
Normal people
don't wear red, okay?
178
00:10:26,124 --> 00:10:28,691
That guy, he got a nail
in his hand, right?
179
00:10:28,693 --> 00:10:30,460
Thank you.
Thank you for the info.
180
00:10:30,462 --> 00:10:32,360
This stuff is
for SAG members only,
181
00:10:32,362 --> 00:10:34,430
so unless you have a SAG card,
I need you to keep it moving.
182
00:10:34,432 --> 00:10:37,099
Excuse me! We're part
of the show, all right?
183
00:10:37,101 --> 00:10:39,534
So we got every much a right
to that as anybody.
184
00:10:39,536 --> 00:10:41,205
Chris, get whatever you want.
185
00:10:42,774 --> 00:10:46,875
Okay, just... That's enough.
Use a plate.
186
00:10:46,877 --> 00:10:48,379
There's napkins.
187
00:10:49,447 --> 00:10:50,680
That's unsanitary.
188
00:10:50,682 --> 00:10:53,248
What's going on with
the sandwich police back there?
189
00:10:53,250 --> 00:10:54,450
That was unbelievable.
190
00:10:54,452 --> 00:10:56,585
These people walk all over you,
you know what I'm saying?
191
00:10:56,587 --> 00:10:58,720
You know why?
'Cause we don't have a union.
192
00:10:58,722 --> 00:11:00,556
That's what we need, a union.
193
00:11:00,558 --> 00:11:02,391
- Yep, totally.
- That's what I'm saying.
194
00:11:02,393 --> 00:11:04,460
You know what Rudy was telling
me, from market research?
195
00:11:04,462 --> 00:11:05,264
Oh, not Rudy.
196
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:07,129
Yeah, he said that all
those shows in the '70s,
197
00:11:07,131 --> 00:11:09,699
all those clappers
are all dead now.
198
00:11:09,701 --> 00:11:10,666
I heard the same thing.
199
00:11:10,668 --> 00:11:11,868
So how do they use the new ones?
200
00:11:11,870 --> 00:11:13,168
They're all dead people.
201
00:11:13,170 --> 00:11:14,604
- Using who?
- The new ones?
202
00:11:14,606 --> 00:11:16,305
Yeah, they're like
dead people laughing.
203
00:11:16,307 --> 00:11:18,240
- How is that even possible?
- That's crazy.
204
00:11:18,242 --> 00:11:19,908
Wait, what?
Who's even telling the story?
205
00:11:19,910 --> 00:11:22,711
- Who?
- Me. I'm telling the story.
206
00:11:22,713 --> 00:11:24,580
Okay, if I wasn't
such an idiot,
207
00:11:24,582 --> 00:11:27,215
I would feel like a moron,
hanging out with you people.
208
00:11:27,217 --> 00:11:28,884
Oh, yeah. That's why I gotta
find a backup
209
00:11:28,886 --> 00:11:30,485
before we're all dead
and clapping.
210
00:11:30,487 --> 00:11:32,690
No, I don't want
to be laughing and dead.
211
00:11:33,191 --> 00:11:34,757
I don't even want to be
a part of that group.
212
00:11:34,759 --> 00:11:36,327
That's not a thing.
You can't.
213
00:11:36,627 --> 00:11:39,327
We ain't gonna make no money
laughing or dead.
214
00:11:39,329 --> 00:11:42,100
From
Hollywood, California,
215
00:11:42,332 --> 00:11:45,234
it's the Jayme Stillerman Show.
216
00:11:45,236 --> 00:11:48,106
Eddie, it's your mother.
217
00:11:48,239 --> 00:11:50,873
We saw you on the TV
talking about your juice thing.
218
00:11:50,875 --> 00:11:53,508
I'll tell you what
I really think.
219
00:11:53,510 --> 00:11:56,946
I think maybe you looked
not so good on it
220
00:11:56,948 --> 00:11:59,318
because the lights...
221
00:11:59,516 --> 00:12:02,618
Ma, hi, it's me.
222
00:12:02,620 --> 00:12:04,389
We saw your show!
223
00:12:04,789 --> 00:12:08,257
I keep telling ya, Ma,
these ain't my shows, okay?
224
00:12:08,259 --> 00:12:10,359
- What?
- It's two in the morning there.
225
00:12:10,361 --> 00:12:12,130
Why are you calling me
right now?
226
00:12:12,396 --> 00:12:14,330
How on Earth
do some of these ideas
227
00:12:14,332 --> 00:12:15,931
ever make it on television?
228
00:12:15,933 --> 00:12:17,899
At least I wonder that.
Take a look at this.
229
00:12:17,901 --> 00:12:19,534
Okay, Gladys told you this?
230
00:12:19,536 --> 00:12:22,673
How did Gladys tell you this?
She can't speak English.
231
00:12:23,775 --> 00:12:25,974
It's a spoon, a fork and
collapsible plate all in one,
232
00:12:25,976 --> 00:12:27,743
and you don't have to wait
for anything ever?
233
00:12:27,745 --> 00:12:28,811
That's the best invention.
234
00:12:28,813 --> 00:12:30,314
It's three-dimensional.
235
00:12:31,549 --> 00:12:33,615
Ma, the whole reason
I moved out here was to move on.
236
00:12:33,617 --> 00:12:34,619
That's what I'm doing.
237
00:12:34,919 --> 00:12:36,188
Where's De Niro?
238
00:12:37,322 --> 00:12:40,822
Thanks, Ma, but I'm telling you,
these ain't my shows.
239
00:12:40,824 --> 00:12:42,291
I just get paid to clap.
240
00:12:42,293 --> 00:12:43,926
Sometimes I ask a few questions,
but I blend in.
241
00:12:43,928 --> 00:12:45,427
That's what I do.
I blend in.
242
00:12:45,429 --> 00:12:47,662
And the acting?
This guy's incredible.
243
00:12:47,664 --> 00:12:49,431
I'm not depressed.
244
00:12:49,433 --> 00:12:51,399
Take a look at this.
Words cannot describe this.
245
00:12:51,401 --> 00:12:54,637
Are you trying to tell me,
for no money down,
246
00:12:54,639 --> 00:12:56,241
I can buy a house?
247
00:12:56,506 --> 00:12:57,873
Where's Scorsese
when you need him?
248
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,577
Ma, I gotta go.
249
00:12:59,810 --> 00:13:00,976
And that mustache.
250
00:13:00,978 --> 00:13:02,878
And then, as we're going
through the show,
251
00:13:02,880 --> 00:13:04,379
my producers and I are thinking,
252
00:13:04,381 --> 00:13:05,981
"Hey, doesn't this guy
look familiar?"
253
00:13:05,983 --> 00:13:08,783
It delivers a little grip
without slip.
254
00:13:08,785 --> 00:13:10,518
Grip with no slip!
255
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,455
Can we freeze on that
for a second?
256
00:13:12,457 --> 00:13:14,290
And bring back
the previous one.
257
00:13:14,292 --> 00:13:16,524
Put a mustache on
the clean-shaven one. Ta-da!
258
00:13:16,526 --> 00:13:17,692
I don't know about you, Spider,
259
00:13:17,694 --> 00:13:19,864
but I'm definitely seeing
a resemblance here.
260
00:13:20,664 --> 00:13:23,331
As we're going through the
tapes, we keep seeing this guy.
261
00:13:23,333 --> 00:13:24,869
Look, it's him.
262
00:13:25,270 --> 00:13:28,003
That's him. And that's him.
263
00:13:28,005 --> 00:13:30,473
In case you thought our
audience member skills
264
00:13:30,475 --> 00:13:33,341
were limited,
he kicks butt too!
265
00:13:33,343 --> 00:13:36,979
I mean, this guy's everywhere.
266
00:13:36,981 --> 00:13:38,614
All right,
anybody with information
267
00:13:38,616 --> 00:13:41,484
leading to the identification
of this person,
268
00:13:41,486 --> 00:13:44,753
who we are officially
naming The Clapper,
269
00:13:44,755 --> 00:13:46,354
please get in contact with us.
270
00:13:46,356 --> 00:13:48,590
We need to know
who this man is,
271
00:13:48,592 --> 00:13:50,996
and we need him on this show.
Spider, take us out.
272
00:14:01,005 --> 00:14:02,537
If Louise
finds out about this,
273
00:14:02,539 --> 00:14:04,842
she's never gonna let me
work again, you know?
274
00:14:05,742 --> 00:14:07,676
She flips out if you wear
the same shirt twice.
275
00:14:07,678 --> 00:14:09,313
You saw what she did
to Yugoslavia, right?
276
00:14:09,514 --> 00:14:11,080
Being a face in the crowd,
that's our thing.
277
00:14:11,082 --> 00:14:12,947
- I'm done.
- You worry too much, Eddie.
278
00:14:12,949 --> 00:14:15,417
Nobody's probably ever gonna see
that sort of TV show anyway.
279
00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:16,585
Yeah? I'm telling ya.
280
00:14:16,587 --> 00:14:18,487
- The movie star, huh?
- Yeah.
281
00:14:18,489 --> 00:14:21,090
I saw you on the
Stillerman Show last night.
282
00:14:21,092 --> 00:14:23,325
- Yeah, thanks, Alfie.
- I was saying to my wife.
283
00:14:23,327 --> 00:14:26,362
Saw you on the Stillerman Show.
That was awesome.
284
00:14:26,364 --> 00:14:28,931
You are totally fucked, dude!
285
00:14:28,933 --> 00:14:30,532
Just tell Louise
I'm sick or something
286
00:14:30,534 --> 00:14:33,802
and find out what she's thinking
or what she knows, okay?
287
00:14:33,804 --> 00:14:35,104
All right.
288
00:14:35,106 --> 00:14:37,072
You're a star!
I give you some fries!
289
00:14:37,074 --> 00:14:38,574
How you doing, Alfie?
290
00:14:38,576 --> 00:14:40,075
Ma, I'm not trying
to get discovered.
291
00:14:40,077 --> 00:14:42,345
I just wanna work.
That's all I wanna do.
292
00:14:42,347 --> 00:14:44,080
Well, Gladys...
it's obvious, honey...
293
00:14:44,082 --> 00:14:47,016
thinks these disguises
are ridiculous.
294
00:14:47,018 --> 00:14:48,551
Yeah. Ma...
295
00:14:48,553 --> 00:14:51,052
She said the beard,
the mustache...
296
00:14:51,054 --> 00:14:54,356
Ma, Ma, I'm not trying
to get discovered.
297
00:14:54,358 --> 00:14:56,124
I'm just trying
to not get fired, you know,
298
00:14:56,126 --> 00:14:57,893
which has probably
already happened.
299
00:14:57,895 --> 00:14:59,862
I gotta go.
Tell Gladys I said hi
300
00:14:59,864 --> 00:15:03,632
and to lay off this TV stuff
because it's not helpful.
301
00:15:03,634 --> 00:15:05,533
I'll try and
shut that thing off.
302
00:15:05,535 --> 00:15:06,671
Okay, bye.
303
00:15:08,005 --> 00:15:11,773
Hey, hey, buddy,
you leave your stuff!
304
00:15:11,775 --> 00:15:14,008
- Judy in yet?
- Throw the garbage over there.
305
00:15:14,010 --> 00:15:15,610
Excuse me, is Judy in yet?
306
00:15:15,612 --> 00:15:16,979
Wow.
307
00:15:16,981 --> 00:15:18,580
No, fuck you.
What do you need?
308
00:15:18,582 --> 00:15:19,949
- What?
- Can I help? Fuck you!
309
00:15:19,951 --> 00:15:21,883
How can I help?
Fuck you.
310
00:15:21,885 --> 00:15:23,886
Wow.
311
00:15:23,888 --> 00:15:25,821
That is...
That is really loud.
312
00:15:25,823 --> 00:15:28,623
You should put a paper towel or
something on that 'cause it's...
313
00:15:28,625 --> 00:15:31,594
I know, I know.
Yeah, I know.
314
00:15:31,596 --> 00:15:33,061
- It's loud out here.
- Listen, listen.
315
00:15:33,063 --> 00:15:35,697
Pick up your garbage
and go fuck yourself.
316
00:15:35,699 --> 00:15:38,066
- Yeah, no, thanks.
- Thank you, buddy.
317
00:15:38,068 --> 00:15:39,603
Just get out of here.
318
00:15:39,971 --> 00:15:42,104
Hey, Judy! Judy!
319
00:15:42,106 --> 00:15:43,672
Over here. Buddy!
320
00:15:43,674 --> 00:15:45,874
Hey, buddy, where you going?
This not all right!
321
00:15:45,876 --> 00:15:46,975
Judy!
322
00:15:46,977 --> 00:15:48,347
Buddy!
323
00:15:49,947 --> 00:15:51,013
- Hey.
- Hey.
324
00:15:51,015 --> 00:15:52,915
Look at you.
You look like...
325
00:15:52,917 --> 00:15:54,450
You're outside of your box.
326
00:15:54,452 --> 00:15:56,087
Are you kidding me right now?
This is crazy.
327
00:15:58,155 --> 00:15:59,088
You're like a real person.
I didn't even know.
328
00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:00,855
- You look normal.
- I'm grabbing a soda,
329
00:16:00,857 --> 00:16:03,024
I have a 20-minute break, so...
330
00:16:03,026 --> 00:16:04,628
Okay, great.
331
00:16:05,029 --> 00:16:06,595
- Can I walk you?
- Sure.
332
00:16:06,597 --> 00:16:08,763
Yeah, 'cause I was just
driving around anyway, so...
333
00:16:08,765 --> 00:16:10,498
I'll just add that
to my list of errands.
334
00:16:10,500 --> 00:16:11,901
- Get a soda, you know?
- Great.
335
00:16:11,903 --> 00:16:14,072
- Cool. Light is green.
- Great.
336
00:16:14,472 --> 00:16:15,807
The light's green.
337
00:16:17,574 --> 00:16:19,477
Get whatever you want,
by the way.
338
00:16:20,044 --> 00:16:23,045
Oh, I have money.
It's okay.
339
00:16:23,047 --> 00:16:25,447
It's on me. This one is on me.
I've been thinking about this
340
00:16:25,449 --> 00:16:27,550
ever since I first got gas
at your place.
341
00:16:27,552 --> 00:16:30,619
I pulled in, and you were like,
"Can I help you?"
342
00:16:30,621 --> 00:16:32,857
And I was like,
"Yeah, yeah, for sure."
343
00:16:33,757 --> 00:16:36,124
You were talking about
how you'd like to go to Mexico
344
00:16:36,126 --> 00:16:37,659
'cause you got a goat
or something...
345
00:16:37,661 --> 00:16:38,527
Grady.
346
00:16:38,529 --> 00:16:39,595
- Yeah, he's got one horn.
- Totally.
347
00:16:39,597 --> 00:16:42,598
Got a one-horned goat.
I'm not gonna forget that.
348
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:45,600
- You're too funny.
- How about I get the food?
349
00:16:45,602 --> 00:16:47,738
I'll get the food,
and you go sit down.
350
00:16:47,938 --> 00:16:50,538
Oh, get us a table inside.
There's never anybody in there.
351
00:16:50,540 --> 00:16:52,076
- Really?
- It's totally weird. Yeah.
352
00:16:52,510 --> 00:16:54,877
- Just less people, you know?
- Okay, yeah.
353
00:16:54,879 --> 00:16:56,882
- I'll go inside.
- Okay.
354
00:16:59,049 --> 00:17:00,181
Wow.
355
00:17:00,183 --> 00:17:02,853
Yeah. Fries are the best, right?
356
00:17:04,688 --> 00:17:07,089
It's crazy, right?
There's just nobody in here.
357
00:17:07,091 --> 00:17:08,860
It's like my quiet spot.
358
00:17:09,126 --> 00:17:10,725
Yeah, it's great.
359
00:17:10,727 --> 00:17:12,962
You know what's great is
you get a break from work.
360
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:13,899
That's so great.
361
00:17:14,999 --> 00:17:15,831
Yeah, I'm just really worried
about getting fired.
362
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:18,102
Fired?
They're not gonna fire you.
363
00:17:18,503 --> 00:17:19,834
If they fired you,
364
00:17:19,836 --> 00:17:21,837
getting gas there
would just be like getting gas.
365
00:17:21,839 --> 00:17:23,105
I wouldn't come back.
366
00:17:23,107 --> 00:17:24,706
They would lose my business
for sure.
367
00:17:24,708 --> 00:17:25,440
Thanks.
368
00:17:25,442 --> 00:17:27,044
- I'm serious.
- What about you?
369
00:17:27,512 --> 00:17:31,780
I mean, you must be so excited
about all your shows.
370
00:17:31,782 --> 00:17:33,616
I wouldn't...
I can't imagine doing that.
371
00:17:33,618 --> 00:17:36,918
It's all right.
I mean, you know, it's a job.
372
00:17:36,920 --> 00:17:38,153
I got this problem though.
373
00:17:38,155 --> 00:17:40,992
Do you know about
the Stillerman TV show?
374
00:17:41,258 --> 00:17:43,060
Do you know that thing on TV?
375
00:17:43,593 --> 00:17:45,561
My TV broke a while ago.
376
00:17:45,563 --> 00:17:47,763
I'm not really even
a TV girl anyway.
377
00:17:47,765 --> 00:17:50,068
Hmm. Yeah, okay.
378
00:17:50,735 --> 00:17:52,901
Don't worry about
this firing stuff.
379
00:17:52,903 --> 00:17:54,171
Honestly.
380
00:17:54,839 --> 00:17:56,539
Like, whatever's gonna happen
is gonna happen,
381
00:17:56,541 --> 00:17:57,540
or whatever those people say.
382
00:17:57,542 --> 00:17:59,241
Or something like that.
Did I say that right?
383
00:17:59,243 --> 00:18:01,310
Yeah, but even if everything
didn't work out,
384
00:18:01,312 --> 00:18:03,279
I would just go back
to the shelter with Grady.
385
00:18:03,281 --> 00:18:04,914
You know?
And there's just so many...
386
00:18:04,916 --> 00:18:07,715
there's all those freaked out
kind of animals.
387
00:18:07,717 --> 00:18:10,753
And then there are
these half-pig, half...
388
00:18:10,755 --> 00:18:14,290
- Half a pig.
- Yes. He wears an eye patch.
389
00:18:14,292 --> 00:18:16,495
- I know.
- Yeah.
390
00:18:16,826 --> 00:18:19,227
I guess I'm just
saying it wrong, really,
391
00:18:19,229 --> 00:18:22,764
but it's just amazing,
392
00:18:22,766 --> 00:18:24,899
- Yeah.
- I don't know. Someday.
393
00:18:24,901 --> 00:18:27,671
Well, I would miss you
if you went to Mexico.
394
00:18:29,907 --> 00:18:30,942
You're not married?
395
00:18:31,309 --> 00:18:33,841
Hmm? Uh, no. Yeah.
396
00:18:33,843 --> 00:18:34,879
What? No.
397
00:18:38,815 --> 00:18:40,986
Whoa! What?
398
00:18:41,718 --> 00:18:44,019
Whoa! What?
You gotta be kidding me.
399
00:18:44,021 --> 00:18:45,590
Unbelievable.
400
00:18:45,890 --> 00:18:48,023
Well, there goes
the peace and quiet.
401
00:18:48,025 --> 00:18:49,625
Okay, Donny!
402
00:18:49,627 --> 00:18:52,898
Let's get this piece of shit
out of here, baby!
403
00:18:53,698 --> 00:18:55,930
Thank you very much, buddy.
404
00:18:55,932 --> 00:18:59,904
Bye, Tony.
Thank you, buddy, thank you.
405
00:19:00,071 --> 00:19:02,370
So we received such positive
feedback from all of you
406
00:19:02,372 --> 00:19:04,173
about our Clapper friend
407
00:19:04,175 --> 00:19:07,042
that we're starting a new
segment tonight called...
408
00:19:07,044 --> 00:19:09,744
"Who is The Clapper?"
409
00:19:09,746 --> 00:19:12,380
So in our relentless quest
410
00:19:12,382 --> 00:19:16,084
to find our questioning,
clapping disguise man,
411
00:19:16,086 --> 00:19:17,653
we took it to the streets
412
00:19:17,655 --> 00:19:19,754
to ask this
one important question.
413
00:19:19,756 --> 00:19:21,223
Do you recognize
this gentleman here?
414
00:19:21,225 --> 00:19:23,861
This guy? He looks like
a straight-up idiot to me.
415
00:19:24,061 --> 00:19:25,230
Loser!
416
00:19:26,397 --> 00:19:27,530
He wants to get his picture
in the newspapers.
417
00:19:27,532 --> 00:19:30,131
Rob! Rob! We're from
The Jayme Stillerman Show,
418
00:19:30,133 --> 00:19:32,667
I love you. I love the Giants.
It's a great team.
419
00:19:32,669 --> 00:19:34,703
Do you recognize
this man right here?
420
00:19:34,705 --> 00:19:35,838
He looks familiar.
He looks like...
421
00:19:35,840 --> 00:19:38,273
maybe like a porn star
or something like...
422
00:19:38,275 --> 00:19:40,242
a doggy-style type
porn star.
423
00:19:40,244 --> 00:19:43,378
And just as we felt
our search was headed nowhere,
424
00:19:43,380 --> 00:19:45,313
right in our very own
backyard,
425
00:19:45,315 --> 00:19:47,986
we ran into a man
named Chris Plork.
426
00:19:48,652 --> 00:19:50,718
Do you recognize
this gentleman here?
427
00:19:50,720 --> 00:19:53,088
Yeah, I know this guy, yeah.
428
00:19:53,090 --> 00:19:54,657
Oh, my God.
429
00:19:54,659 --> 00:19:56,257
You actually know this man?
430
00:19:56,259 --> 00:19:57,859
You know The Clapper?
431
00:19:57,861 --> 00:19:58,796
Yeah.
432
00:19:59,764 --> 00:20:01,030
Tell me a little something
about him.
433
00:20:01,032 --> 00:20:03,368
He saw the stuff on the TV,
and he's like, you know,
434
00:20:04,399 --> 00:20:05,033
what's going on, you know?
435
00:20:05,035 --> 00:20:06,901
Does he have
any demands for us?
436
00:20:06,903 --> 00:20:09,003
If The Clapper
could talk to you,
437
00:20:09,005 --> 00:20:11,305
he probably would say
he wants you just to know
438
00:20:11,307 --> 00:20:12,907
he would just want it
to be okay for him
439
00:20:12,909 --> 00:20:15,043
to keep doing
his TV shows and stuff.
440
00:20:15,045 --> 00:20:16,212
Really.
441
00:20:16,214 --> 00:20:18,717
Can you get us in touch
with The Clapper?
442
00:20:20,884 --> 00:20:22,720
Oh, my God.
443
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:25,954
I was there.
They came up to me.
444
00:20:25,956 --> 00:20:28,122
I was waiting
to talk to Louise.
445
00:20:28,124 --> 00:20:29,390
Did they even talk to Louise?
446
00:20:29,392 --> 00:20:32,093
No! She said she
didn't know you.
447
00:20:32,095 --> 00:20:34,830
To who? You just said
that she didn't talk...
448
00:20:34,832 --> 00:20:38,167
They had some kind
of cardboard cutout
449
00:20:38,169 --> 00:20:40,034
or something of you.
450
00:20:40,036 --> 00:20:41,469
- What?
- Yeah.
451
00:20:41,471 --> 00:20:43,807
It was beautiful.
Looked nice.
452
00:20:45,042 --> 00:20:47,879
Did Louise see
this cardboard cutout?
453
00:20:48,211 --> 00:20:51,413
She seen it sitting right there.
It was right there. Yeah.
454
00:20:51,415 --> 00:20:52,984
Then we don't have jobs.
455
00:20:53,450 --> 00:20:55,252
Yugoslavia said
the same thing.
456
00:20:55,453 --> 00:20:57,252
Yeah, well, he's right.
457
00:20:57,254 --> 00:20:59,788
Why couldn't you just say
you didn't know anything?
458
00:20:59,790 --> 00:21:03,194
I tried, but the producer guy
came up to me with his number
459
00:21:04,261 --> 00:21:05,860
in case you want
to call him.
460
00:21:05,862 --> 00:21:08,198
I don't want anything
to do with the show, Chris.
461
00:21:08,498 --> 00:21:10,331
You need to call him
and tell him
462
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:14,205
that you thought you knew what
you were talking about, but...
463
00:21:14,505 --> 00:21:16,437
you know, or something,
but you didn't.
464
00:21:16,439 --> 00:21:18,109
And that's it, all right?
465
00:21:18,809 --> 00:21:20,341
Listen, I get it.
I'm not mad.
466
00:21:20,343 --> 00:21:24,178
I just need you to undo whatever
that was that happened there.
467
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:26,750
You never know. Good things
could come out of this.
468
00:21:27,083 --> 00:21:30,418
Yugoslavia say he'd get us on
one of the Law and Order shows.
469
00:21:30,420 --> 00:21:31,919
What?
470
00:21:31,921 --> 00:21:34,455
Attention!
471
00:21:34,457 --> 00:21:36,125
Is that English?
472
00:21:36,127 --> 00:21:37,359
Eddie, what does that say?
473
00:21:37,361 --> 00:21:39,996
Attention, everybody,
attention!
474
00:21:43,833 --> 00:21:46,368
Pongasela.
Pongasela.
475
00:21:46,370 --> 00:21:49,273
Pongasela!
476
00:21:50,841 --> 00:21:52,774
No matter what,
if you win or if you lose,
477
00:21:52,776 --> 00:21:54,978
you need to put the wig on.
That was the deal.
478
00:22:15,198 --> 00:22:17,802
Judge Hermanos, yeah!
479
00:22:21,071 --> 00:22:23,174
I don't know what the hell
that was, but that was horrible.
480
00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:24,842
No doubt.
481
00:22:25,275 --> 00:22:26,477
How many more of these we got?
482
00:22:26,843 --> 00:22:29,278
Got like one
in like half an hour.
483
00:22:29,280 --> 00:22:31,149
At least it's something, right?
484
00:22:33,449 --> 00:22:34,882
Gracias, right?
485
00:22:34,884 --> 00:22:36,186
Next in line.
486
00:22:37,521 --> 00:22:39,253
I want to take Judy
on another date,
487
00:22:39,255 --> 00:22:42,494
but like even French fries
are a stretch right now.
488
00:22:43,194 --> 00:22:45,426
You gotta talk to Louise, man.
And for real.
489
00:22:45,428 --> 00:22:48,230
Tell her I just had nothing
to do with the Stillerman Show.
490
00:22:48,232 --> 00:22:51,300
Dude, dude, you're the dude!
Look! It's you! You're the guy!
491
00:22:51,302 --> 00:22:53,068
- You're you, man.
- What?
492
00:22:53,070 --> 00:22:55,603
You're The Clapper guy.
That's you!
493
00:22:55,605 --> 00:22:58,275
Dude, that's... that's you!
494
00:22:59,043 --> 00:23:00,609
And you're, what, a potato?
495
00:23:00,611 --> 00:23:03,915
Hey, man, you say potato.
I say nice mustache.
496
00:23:04,849 --> 00:23:05,884
It's okay, Eddie.
497
00:23:06,918 --> 00:23:07,917
Man, we were saying
how funny you are on the...
498
00:23:07,919 --> 00:23:08,984
We were saying
how funny you are.
499
00:23:08,986 --> 00:23:11,954
Yeah, the problem is
I wasn't trying to be funny.
500
00:23:11,956 --> 00:23:13,921
I didn't even want
to be on the show, okay?
501
00:23:13,923 --> 00:23:15,557
Yeah, they just sort of
took over my life.
502
00:23:15,559 --> 00:23:17,993
They did whatever
the fuck they wanted,
503
00:23:17,995 --> 00:23:20,128
You know what we should do?
We should put him in a net.
504
00:23:20,130 --> 00:23:23,031
And then we should bring him in
and get like a reward.
505
00:23:23,033 --> 00:23:25,032
Great, potato man.
I'd love to see you try that.
506
00:23:25,034 --> 00:23:27,202
Eddie, he's a potato.
Fuck him.
507
00:23:27,204 --> 00:23:29,071
- No, don't fuck him.
- Mom, that's the clap man!
508
00:23:29,073 --> 00:23:31,439
- It's him!
- That's not nice! Knock it off!
509
00:23:31,441 --> 00:23:33,308
You gonna be
Mr. Mashed Potato.
510
00:23:33,310 --> 00:23:35,077
No, no, he's right, yeah.
511
00:23:35,079 --> 00:23:37,346
You've seen me on TV.
I'm the clap guy, right?
512
00:23:37,348 --> 00:23:40,882
I'm The Clapper. See?
It's me. I clap!
513
00:23:40,884 --> 00:23:43,484
Hey, look at that!
Clap, clap, right?
514
00:23:43,486 --> 00:23:45,553
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
And I laugh!
515
00:23:45,555 --> 00:23:47,955
Not just a little chuckle, no.
516
00:23:47,957 --> 00:23:50,391
Like a big laugh,
like ha-ha-ha-ha!
517
00:23:50,393 --> 00:23:53,227
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
518
00:23:53,229 --> 00:23:56,365
Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha!
519
00:23:56,367 --> 00:23:57,599
Fuck you!
520
00:23:57,601 --> 00:24:00,401
Oh, come on!
Clap for us, Clapper!
521
00:24:00,403 --> 00:24:02,204
Do it!
522
00:24:02,206 --> 00:24:04,876
Do it! Do it!
523
00:24:14,485 --> 00:24:16,154
Ran out of gas!
524
00:24:22,191 --> 00:24:25,293
Ran out of gas,
but luckily, I was right here.
525
00:24:25,295 --> 00:24:29,665
Eddie, I still feel so bad
about your car getting towed.
526
00:24:29,667 --> 00:24:33,001
Yeah, but what are you
gonna do, you know?
527
00:24:33,003 --> 00:24:36,003
Is shove-it-up-your-ass-
credit-card-guy still here?
528
00:24:36,005 --> 00:24:39,474
No, he's...
he's not on tonight.
529
00:24:39,476 --> 00:24:43,180
- Great.
- Um, are you okay?
530
00:24:43,613 --> 00:24:44,948
Yeah.
531
00:24:45,515 --> 00:24:47,252
Yeah, I'm good.
I just...
532
00:24:48,151 --> 00:24:49,519
You know...
533
00:24:50,553 --> 00:24:53,554
maybe it's better that you
don't have a TV right now.
534
00:24:53,556 --> 00:24:55,626
Never mind.
535
00:24:55,993 --> 00:24:58,694
Your microphone's working,
the speaker.
536
00:24:58,696 --> 00:25:00,594
- Yeah.
- ♪ Lotta people out there ♪
537
00:25:00,596 --> 00:25:01,964
Yeah.
538
00:25:01,966 --> 00:25:04,565
Hey, is that Brian Wilson?
539
00:25:04,567 --> 00:25:06,600
Yeah. "Love and Mercy."
540
00:25:06,602 --> 00:25:08,235
- You kiddin' me?
- Yeah.
541
00:25:08,237 --> 00:25:10,475
That's unbelievable,
I love that song.
542
00:25:11,041 --> 00:25:13,375
Like, who talks like that?
Who says "crummy" anymore?
543
00:25:13,377 --> 00:25:16,043
My father used to say that
when I was little.
544
00:25:16,045 --> 00:25:17,646
Yeah, that's my favorite part.
545
00:25:17,648 --> 00:25:18,917
Yeah.
546
00:25:20,051 --> 00:25:23,484
♪ I was sittin'
In a crummy movie ♪
547
00:25:23,486 --> 00:25:26,457
♪ With my hand on my chin ♪
548
00:25:30,460 --> 00:25:33,030
You got a way of making things
all right, you know?
549
00:25:34,398 --> 00:25:36,197
- Thanks.
- Whole five bucks.
550
00:25:36,199 --> 00:25:38,667
You only ever get a little bit
of gas at a time.
551
00:25:38,669 --> 00:25:40,202
You noticed, huh?
552
00:25:40,204 --> 00:25:44,075
Well, I like to come by
and see you, you know?
553
00:25:45,609 --> 00:25:47,442
♪ Ooh ♪
554
00:25:47,444 --> 00:25:51,249
Yeah, I like...
I like seeing you, as well.
555
00:25:52,315 --> 00:25:53,483
Yeah.
556
00:25:55,218 --> 00:25:57,418
I got something.
I got something for you.
557
00:25:57,420 --> 00:25:58,957
I almost forgot. Hold on.
558
00:26:03,593 --> 00:26:09,066
♪ Ah ♪
559
00:26:11,399 --> 00:26:12,199
♪ Ooh ♪
560
00:26:12,201 --> 00:26:16,737
♪ Oh ♪
561
00:26:16,739 --> 00:26:20,477
♪ Oh ♪
562
00:26:20,643 --> 00:26:25,312
♪ Ah ♪
563
00:26:25,314 --> 00:26:26,680
♪ Oh ♪
564
00:26:26,682 --> 00:26:28,783
I was showing you
the idea, right?
565
00:26:28,785 --> 00:26:30,619
Just flash cards,
I don't know.
566
00:26:30,621 --> 00:26:33,120
You don't even need it now.
The speaker's fixed.
567
00:26:33,122 --> 00:26:35,525
It's still a good idea.
568
00:26:35,758 --> 00:26:37,127
It is what it is.
569
00:26:37,326 --> 00:26:40,161
- I don't know, it's all right.
- It's great.
570
00:26:40,163 --> 00:26:43,367
Yeah, I'm gonna get the gas.
571
00:26:46,070 --> 00:26:47,769
I'm invisible.
572
00:26:47,771 --> 00:26:49,804
You can't see me.
I'm invisible.
573
00:26:49,806 --> 00:26:51,238
No one can see me.
574
00:26:51,240 --> 00:26:54,341
No one can see me.
I'm invisible.
575
00:26:54,343 --> 00:26:57,481
I'm invisible, Judy.
No one can see me.
576
00:26:58,148 --> 00:27:00,415
- Hi, Thomas.
- Really, I need some water.
577
00:27:00,417 --> 00:27:01,452
Yes.
578
00:27:08,825 --> 00:27:10,692
Hey! Hey!
579
00:27:10,694 --> 00:27:12,293
What the hell, man?
580
00:27:12,295 --> 00:27:14,529
Eddie, it's okay.
That's Naked Thomas.
581
00:27:14,531 --> 00:27:17,435
His wife left him, and it says
it makes him feel better.
582
00:27:17,767 --> 00:27:21,403
The water.
It's weird, right?
583
00:27:21,405 --> 00:27:23,341
Uh, yeah.
584
00:27:23,506 --> 00:27:25,176
Weird. You think?
585
00:27:25,508 --> 00:27:27,277
No, he's harmless.
586
00:27:27,710 --> 00:27:30,445
All right, well, maybe I should
stick around a little bit
587
00:27:30,447 --> 00:27:31,780
to make sure, you know?
588
00:27:31,782 --> 00:27:33,447
Right? You never know
with people like that,
589
00:27:33,449 --> 00:27:34,483
especially naked ones.
590
00:27:34,485 --> 00:27:36,318
I got a chair, all right?
591
00:27:36,320 --> 00:27:37,886
It's right in the car here.
592
00:27:37,888 --> 00:27:39,657
I feel really bad for him.
593
00:27:40,256 --> 00:27:42,360
He must have
really loved her.
594
00:27:42,692 --> 00:27:46,463
That or he's just crazy, right?
595
00:27:48,198 --> 00:27:50,465
Is that all right if I sit here
for a little bit?
596
00:27:50,467 --> 00:27:51,636
- Yeah.
- Okay.
597
00:27:54,470 --> 00:27:57,140
- Eddie?
- Yeah? Huh?
598
00:27:58,207 --> 00:28:00,509
Do you think it's weird
that I'm working here?
599
00:28:00,511 --> 00:28:01,345
What?
600
00:28:02,211 --> 00:28:05,082
Do you think it's weird,
me working here?
601
00:28:06,883 --> 00:28:08,582
I mean, at the gas station?
602
00:28:08,584 --> 00:28:12,656
It's like the kind of job
that's like really blah.
603
00:28:13,290 --> 00:28:15,290
But do you know
why I work here?
604
00:28:15,292 --> 00:28:16,891
I don't think it's blah.
605
00:28:16,893 --> 00:28:19,596
I mean, maybe a little,
I guess.
606
00:28:20,363 --> 00:28:22,496
No, I mean,
like I need the money, right?
607
00:28:22,498 --> 00:28:26,501
But I don't know.
I mean, sometimes at night,
608
00:28:26,503 --> 00:28:30,738
it feels like
all the normal people,
609
00:28:30,740 --> 00:28:32,476
they just disappear.
610
00:28:32,942 --> 00:28:34,544
Can't argue with that.
611
00:28:35,512 --> 00:28:38,647
But like everybody
is kind of nowhere
612
00:28:38,649 --> 00:28:40,251
on a night like tonight.
613
00:28:41,651 --> 00:28:43,220
Does that make sense?
614
00:28:43,954 --> 00:28:46,257
Or am I just talking crazy?
615
00:28:50,360 --> 00:28:52,663
Yeah, no, I, I understand.
616
00:28:58,235 --> 00:29:00,534
I really liked
our French fry date.
617
00:29:00,536 --> 00:29:02,305
Me too.
618
00:29:04,274 --> 00:29:06,907
I love how weird you are,
you know?
619
00:29:06,909 --> 00:29:09,279
You're like totally wacky,
like me.
620
00:29:13,684 --> 00:29:16,784
I was hoping to save up to take
you to dinner someplace nice,
621
00:29:16,786 --> 00:29:20,421
but...
maybe we could just do
622
00:29:20,423 --> 00:29:22,425
another French fry thing
until then?
623
00:29:23,293 --> 00:29:24,762
- I'd love that.
- Yeah.
624
00:29:25,428 --> 00:29:28,332
All right, yeah.
That'd be great.
625
00:29:29,233 --> 00:29:31,202
I'll put it on my calendar.
626
00:29:31,634 --> 00:29:33,303
Me too.
627
00:29:34,638 --> 00:29:38,509
This is actually great,
you know, in a weird way.
628
00:29:38,909 --> 00:29:40,210
Definitely.
629
00:29:41,312 --> 00:29:43,878
He was just here,
yelling and clapping,
630
00:29:43,880 --> 00:29:45,446
and I just put it
on my Instagram,
631
00:29:45,448 --> 00:29:47,249
and I already have
a thousand hearts.
632
00:29:47,251 --> 00:29:51,319
Wow! Did you see that?
Personally, I don't know
633
00:29:51,321 --> 00:29:52,419
what the hell was
going on out there,
634
00:29:52,421 --> 00:29:55,357
but it seems our
Clapper has a baked potato
635
00:29:55,359 --> 00:29:57,391
and some sort of an outlaw
upset with him
636
00:29:57,393 --> 00:30:00,328
and his actions right out
there on Hollywood Boulevard.
637
00:30:00,330 --> 00:30:02,699
Spider, I'm a little worried
about the guy.
638
00:30:26,390 --> 00:30:28,322
I'm invisible.
No one can see me.
639
00:30:28,324 --> 00:30:30,457
I'm invisible.
No one can see me.
640
00:30:30,459 --> 00:30:32,563
I'm invisible.
No one can see me.
641
00:30:37,601 --> 00:30:41,369
Hey, hey, hey!
What do you do, buddy?
642
00:30:41,371 --> 00:30:43,370
Hey, get out of here!
Why do you do this?
643
00:30:43,372 --> 00:30:46,374
Oh, my God. Oh, my...
What do you do?
644
00:30:46,376 --> 00:30:47,876
Is Hercules watching?
645
00:30:47,878 --> 00:30:51,378
No, no.
He is doing his thing. Wow.
646
00:30:51,380 --> 00:30:53,848
Hercules?
That's a great name.
647
00:30:53,850 --> 00:30:55,716
I think he's still mad at you.
648
00:30:55,718 --> 00:30:56,784
- Me?
- Yeah.
649
00:30:56,786 --> 00:30:57,921
He towed my car.
650
00:30:58,322 --> 00:30:59,853
He said that
you threw trash everywhere
651
00:30:59,855 --> 00:31:03,524
and that you blocked his most
profitable pump purposefully.
652
00:31:03,526 --> 00:31:05,327
There's just no mistakes
with this guy, huh?
653
00:31:05,329 --> 00:31:06,794
Let's get out of here.
654
00:31:06,796 --> 00:31:10,031
Oh, my God.
What did you do?
655
00:31:10,033 --> 00:31:12,436
I never see no people
like this, buddy!
656
00:31:17,573 --> 00:31:19,707
- Is this weird?
- Hmm?
657
00:31:19,709 --> 00:31:20,777
Is it weird?
658
00:31:21,911 --> 00:31:22,979
Yeah.
659
00:31:23,546 --> 00:31:25,615
I mean, I've never
been here before.
660
00:31:26,515 --> 00:31:29,419
It's just nice to see
the animals not behind bars.
661
00:31:29,619 --> 00:31:30,688
Mm.
662
00:31:30,954 --> 00:31:32,757
I mean, like, you know, they...
663
00:31:33,055 --> 00:31:35,389
There's just nobody
stuck somewhere
664
00:31:35,391 --> 00:31:36,858
that you don't want to be.
665
00:31:36,860 --> 00:31:39,897
No, yeah. Hmm? Right.
666
00:31:45,468 --> 00:31:47,571
You asked if I was married.
667
00:31:47,970 --> 00:31:49,603
- Uh-oh.
- No, no, no, no.
668
00:31:49,605 --> 00:31:51,372
It's not...
It's nothing bad.
669
00:31:51,374 --> 00:31:53,410
I mean, I...
670
00:31:55,044 --> 00:31:57,480
Um, I was.
A long time ago.
671
00:31:58,415 --> 00:31:59,950
Diane. We grew up together
672
00:32:00,550 --> 00:32:04,588
And then one day,
she just was gone.
673
00:32:07,724 --> 00:32:08,822
She left you?
674
00:32:08,824 --> 00:32:09,794
Yeah.
675
00:32:10,659 --> 00:32:11,892
No, not like that.
676
00:32:11,894 --> 00:32:14,564
Like... the earth.
677
00:32:17,534 --> 00:32:19,734
Like one day we were
talking about traveling
678
00:32:19,736 --> 00:32:22,704
and all that cool stuff,
and then...
679
00:32:22,706 --> 00:32:24,738
and then all of a sudden,
she got sick,
680
00:32:24,740 --> 00:32:26,907
and the next thing I knew,
she was gone.
681
00:32:26,909 --> 00:32:28,778
And, um, you know.
682
00:32:29,178 --> 00:32:30,880
I'm sorry.
683
00:32:31,081 --> 00:32:32,515
Yeah.
684
00:32:33,883 --> 00:32:35,452
It's okay.
685
00:32:39,523 --> 00:32:41,692
I'm sorry about
all these cheap dates.
686
00:32:42,892 --> 00:32:44,594
No, really, like...
687
00:32:46,530 --> 00:32:48,629
There's like all this
TV stuff going on.
688
00:32:48,631 --> 00:32:50,700
I'm just a little out of it.
689
00:32:51,066 --> 00:32:54,804
But I'm gonna bounce back.
690
00:32:56,640 --> 00:32:58,039
- That's how it is.
- Yeah.
691
00:32:58,041 --> 00:32:59,577
Right?
692
00:33:01,044 --> 00:33:02,209
What about you?
693
00:33:02,211 --> 00:33:04,212
Like, you want to
end up in Mexico
694
00:33:04,214 --> 00:33:08,049
and do, you know,
that place with the goat,
695
00:33:08,051 --> 00:33:11,686
and just do,
like, goat stuff?
696
00:33:11,688 --> 00:33:14,988
Yeah, I would like to,
you know,
697
00:33:14,990 --> 00:33:16,657
have my own place someday.
698
00:33:16,659 --> 00:33:18,659
It would be nice, you know,
699
00:33:18,661 --> 00:33:21,998
to start a shelter
or a pet store.
700
00:33:23,233 --> 00:33:26,568
You know, I want something
with stability.
701
00:33:26,570 --> 00:33:29,937
Yeah, no, stability,
I get it, yeah.
702
00:33:29,939 --> 00:33:31,808
So you gonna do that or what?
703
00:33:32,175 --> 00:33:34,945
I... Yeah.
I'm trying to save up.
704
00:33:35,478 --> 00:33:37,480
Okay, yeah.
705
00:33:38,948 --> 00:33:43,517
Well, you know, I mean,
we could be partners.
706
00:33:43,519 --> 00:33:46,721
I could, I could come in
as a partner or something.
707
00:33:46,723 --> 00:33:51,529
Like if that was...
I could partner...
708
00:34:00,970 --> 00:34:05,039
Eddie, two nights ago,
some guy came to my station
709
00:34:05,041 --> 00:34:07,977
at two in the morning,
wearing a TV on his head,
710
00:34:08,277 --> 00:34:09,679
and it worked.
711
00:34:12,849 --> 00:34:13,984
What?
712
00:34:15,084 --> 00:34:16,850
And all I could think about
was how much I wished
713
00:34:16,852 --> 00:34:19,856
that you were there with me
to see that.
714
00:34:21,023 --> 00:34:22,459
Yeah.
715
00:34:22,992 --> 00:34:24,961
And I just knew.
716
00:34:28,064 --> 00:34:29,467
I...
717
00:34:31,668 --> 00:34:33,570
I just can't tell you...
718
00:34:35,305 --> 00:34:37,475
how nice this is...
719
00:34:39,142 --> 00:34:40,945
to just sit here with you...
720
00:34:43,012 --> 00:34:44,047
and just...
721
00:34:45,581 --> 00:34:47,684
Stare at the bones.
722
00:34:49,285 --> 00:34:52,889
Bones. Yeah.
723
00:35:02,064 --> 00:35:03,066
See ya.
724
00:35:04,233 --> 00:35:06,035
Yeah, for sure.
725
00:35:27,023 --> 00:35:28,189
Mr. Plork.
726
00:35:28,191 --> 00:35:29,927
Door's open. Come in.
727
00:35:30,626 --> 00:35:32,327
Oh, God. You're not...
728
00:35:32,329 --> 00:35:34,195
Come on.
I'm not doing that anymore.
729
00:35:34,197 --> 00:35:35,662
You never know.
730
00:35:35,664 --> 00:35:37,865
Catch me masturbating once,
shame on me.
731
00:35:37,867 --> 00:35:40,834
- Catch me twice, shame on you.
- All right.
732
00:35:40,836 --> 00:35:42,669
Listen, I was just with Judy
at the thing,
733
00:35:42,671 --> 00:35:44,838
and I got this
pretty incredible idea.
734
00:35:44,840 --> 00:35:46,109
Who?
735
00:35:46,709 --> 00:35:48,809
You got...
What are you watching?
736
00:35:48,811 --> 00:35:50,912
The video on the computer.
737
00:35:50,914 --> 00:35:54,615
They added some kind of weird
music in there for the Internet.
738
00:35:54,617 --> 00:35:57,352
What? What is...
739
00:35:57,354 --> 00:35:58,753
What is that?
740
00:35:58,755 --> 00:36:00,320
Your head is about to explode.
741
00:36:00,322 --> 00:36:02,155
That's my head.
That's me.
742
00:36:02,157 --> 00:36:04,325
- Yeah, that's your head.
- That's my...
743
00:36:04,327 --> 00:36:05,827
- How did you do that?
- I didn't.
744
00:36:05,829 --> 00:36:07,361
It's on the computer.
It's a video.
745
00:36:07,363 --> 00:36:09,963
- You can take that off, right?
- Off the computer?
746
00:36:09,965 --> 00:36:11,399
- Can't.
- Why?
747
00:36:11,401 --> 00:36:13,267
'Cause I'm not Steve Jobs,
that's why.
748
00:36:13,269 --> 00:36:14,869
Somebody's making money
off of that,
749
00:36:14,871 --> 00:36:16,771
and it ain't us,
I'll tell you that.
750
00:36:16,773 --> 00:36:19,240
I should charge you like
five bucks right now
751
00:36:19,242 --> 00:36:20,807
- just for watching that.
- Why me?
752
00:36:20,809 --> 00:36:22,977
You can't watch me
without my permission.
753
00:36:22,979 --> 00:36:25,278
- Who put that there?
- I don't know. It's a computer.
754
00:36:25,280 --> 00:36:26,847
- Can I tell you something?
- Yeah.
755
00:36:26,849 --> 00:36:28,916
The producer guy
is behind this, right?
756
00:36:28,918 --> 00:36:31,385
This is from the TV guy.
That's from the producer guy.
757
00:36:31,387 --> 00:36:32,854
What's his number?
Give me his number.
758
00:36:32,856 --> 00:36:34,856
- Who?
- The TV guy, come on,
759
00:36:34,858 --> 00:36:36,658
It's time for him
to hear from me.
760
00:36:36,660 --> 00:36:38,762
He's gotta hear
from Eddie Krumble now.
761
00:36:39,729 --> 00:36:42,131
Can I just watch it explode
one more time?
762
00:37:02,452 --> 00:37:06,187
I'm... I'm here to see
the producer guy
763
00:37:06,189 --> 00:37:07,891
for the TV shows, the TV.
764
00:37:08,724 --> 00:37:11,758
His name is Ralph Ratner.
765
00:37:11,760 --> 00:37:13,130
I'm here for a meeting.
766
00:37:14,030 --> 00:37:15,229
The TV guy, a meeting.
767
00:37:15,231 --> 00:37:16,166
Chris!
768
00:37:17,166 --> 00:37:18,399
Chris Plork!
769
00:37:18,401 --> 00:37:20,702
- Chris Plork, it's Raf.
- Hi.
770
00:37:20,704 --> 00:37:22,303
Ralph Ranter,
from The Stillerman Show,
771
00:37:22,305 --> 00:37:23,905
- We spoke on the phone.
- Yeah.
772
00:37:23,907 --> 00:37:26,307
Awesome, man.
Is he here with you?
773
00:37:26,309 --> 00:37:27,441
- No. The Clapper?
- Yeah.
774
00:37:27,443 --> 00:37:28,776
No, he's not here.
775
00:37:28,778 --> 00:37:30,044
He just gave me this letter,
776
00:37:30,046 --> 00:37:32,914
said deliver it
to Mr. Stillerman and go.
777
00:37:32,916 --> 00:37:34,782
- Wow.
- And that's what I want to do.
778
00:37:34,784 --> 00:37:36,149
Mr. Stillerman,
that's my boss.
779
00:37:36,151 --> 00:37:38,655
I can bring you to him now.
You want to come inside?
780
00:37:39,789 --> 00:37:41,021
- Yeah.
- All right,
781
00:37:41,023 --> 00:37:42,925
He's good.
We can let him in.
782
00:37:44,093 --> 00:37:46,059
Chris, listen to me.
783
00:37:46,061 --> 00:37:48,129
Now, if you don't mind,
obviously you don't,
784
00:37:48,131 --> 00:37:50,198
I'm gonna go take it to Jayme.
He's gonna check it out.
785
00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,303
In the meantime, I want you
just to hang here: green room.
786
00:37:53,869 --> 00:37:55,838
Help yourself
to whatever you like.
787
00:37:57,206 --> 00:37:58,842
- See you in a bit.
- Okay.
788
00:38:11,121 --> 00:38:12,189
No.
789
00:38:50,226 --> 00:38:52,359
Number one trending topic
on Twitter is
790
00:38:52,361 --> 00:38:53,894
"Who is The Clapper?"
791
00:38:53,896 --> 00:38:55,296
It's your call.
What do you think?
792
00:38:55,298 --> 00:38:57,398
I don't know. I don't know much
about the guy.
793
00:38:57,400 --> 00:38:59,332
What if he's dangerous?
794
00:38:59,334 --> 00:39:00,568
Right. That's a valid point.
795
00:39:00,570 --> 00:39:03,037
What if this guy,
he drops a secret word,
796
00:39:03,039 --> 00:39:04,504
he launches a terrorist cell?
797
00:39:04,506 --> 00:39:06,439
Then what? My kids are
going to public school.
798
00:39:06,441 --> 00:39:09,345
He's not a cell. He's presently
afraid to eat our sushi.
799
00:39:09,546 --> 00:39:10,479
Literally.
800
00:39:10,481 --> 00:39:12,180
He makes
a good point, J. Stills.
801
00:39:12,182 --> 00:39:15,082
What do you think?
Just say fuck it. Let's do it.
802
00:39:15,084 --> 00:39:18,084
- Fuck it, let's do it.
- Let's put him on. Tina?
803
00:39:18,086 --> 00:39:20,287
Ladies and gentlemen,
it is my pleasure
804
00:39:20,289 --> 00:39:24,927
to introduce you to our
very own insider, Chris Plork.
805
00:39:29,865 --> 00:39:32,233
No, no, no!
Just give him the letter and go.
806
00:39:32,235 --> 00:39:33,501
Doing great, turn around.
807
00:39:33,503 --> 00:39:35,139
Good to see you, Chris.
808
00:39:36,271 --> 00:39:37,874
Welcome, Chris.
809
00:39:38,575 --> 00:39:41,175
This is Sarah,
Victoria's Secret model.
810
00:39:41,177 --> 00:39:42,044
Hey, Sarah.
811
00:39:43,146 --> 00:39:44,144
You all may recognize Chris,
who we previously met
812
00:39:44,146 --> 00:39:46,079
on one of our
"Out on the Street" segments,
813
00:39:46,081 --> 00:39:48,184
So, Chris,
tell us why you're here.
814
00:39:50,385 --> 00:39:51,452
Those two guys.
815
00:39:51,454 --> 00:39:53,090
My producer Raf?
816
00:39:53,322 --> 00:39:54,921
Yeah. Those two guys told me
817
00:39:54,923 --> 00:39:56,323
to come sit this way.
818
00:39:56,325 --> 00:39:58,325
That'd be Raf, our producer,
and Cadwell.
819
00:39:58,327 --> 00:39:59,593
They told you the right thing,
820
00:39:59,595 --> 00:40:01,528
'cause this is
where it all happens.
821
00:40:01,530 --> 00:40:03,129
I don't think
I should be here.
822
00:40:03,131 --> 00:40:06,269
No, no, Chris, stop thinking.
You should be here.
823
00:40:06,903 --> 00:40:08,936
And I tell you that because
I need you to be confused
824
00:40:08,938 --> 00:40:11,207
when I tell you
these things.
825
00:40:11,941 --> 00:40:13,908
Now I understand you have
some sort of letter,
826
00:40:13,910 --> 00:40:16,947
a list of demands
from The Clapper?
827
00:40:17,613 --> 00:40:20,448
His demands?
I don't know.
828
00:40:20,450 --> 00:40:22,483
Well, let's read 'em.
829
00:40:22,485 --> 00:40:24,184
I don't think
I should read it.
830
00:40:24,186 --> 00:40:25,421
Yeah!
831
00:40:26,222 --> 00:40:27,421
Read it, yeah!
832
00:40:27,423 --> 00:40:29,222
I don't know
if I should read it.
833
00:40:29,224 --> 00:40:30,957
- I don't, I don't.
- I think you should read it.
834
00:40:30,959 --> 00:40:32,593
We all think
you should read it.
835
00:40:32,595 --> 00:40:34,095
Everybody at home thinks
you should read it.
836
00:40:34,097 --> 00:40:36,497
DJ Spider thinks
you should read it.
837
00:40:36,499 --> 00:40:38,566
- Whoo!
- Read it!
838
00:40:38,568 --> 00:40:41,271
- Yeah!
- Read it, yeah!
839
00:40:42,972 --> 00:40:45,273
Read it, read it!
840
00:40:45,275 --> 00:40:46,376
All right.
841
00:40:48,043 --> 00:40:50,244
"A message to Mr. Stiller-mer.
842
00:40:50,246 --> 00:40:52,113
I see that you have
found an interest
843
00:40:52,115 --> 00:40:54,115
in my clapping, I guess."
844
00:40:54,117 --> 00:40:55,515
I guess?
845
00:40:55,517 --> 00:40:57,417
Yeah, he wrote "I guess."
is right there.
846
00:40:57,419 --> 00:40:59,423
- He wrote I guess?
- Yeah, he...
847
00:41:00,289 --> 00:41:02,860
That's pretty funny of him,
I guess.
848
00:41:03,258 --> 00:41:06,526
"It also seems to me that you
would like to meet in person
849
00:41:06,528 --> 00:41:07,898
on your show.
850
00:41:08,965 --> 00:41:09,963
I do not know how much
your normally pay guests,
851
00:41:09,965 --> 00:41:12,666
however me and my friend
would be happy to appear
852
00:41:12,668 --> 00:41:14,270
for one million dollars."
853
00:41:14,537 --> 00:41:16,137
One million dollars?
854
00:41:16,139 --> 00:41:17,504
"Enclosed is proof
of who I am..."
855
00:41:17,506 --> 00:41:19,506
Wait. Hold the phone there
a second.
856
00:41:19,508 --> 00:41:21,575
- Did you say a million dollars?
- Yeah.
857
00:41:21,577 --> 00:41:23,109
Well, thank you
for the discount.
858
00:41:23,111 --> 00:41:24,512
I want to get paid that
as well.
859
00:41:24,514 --> 00:41:27,280
So do I. That's a lot of money.
Hold on a second.
860
00:41:27,282 --> 00:41:29,617
Can somebody pull up my next
guest on the monitor for me?
861
00:41:29,619 --> 00:41:31,285
Ladies and gentlemen,
Mark Cuban.
862
00:41:31,287 --> 00:41:32,986
What's up, Jayme?
863
00:41:32,988 --> 00:41:34,354
Mark, you're a billionaire.
Let me ask you a question.
864
00:41:34,356 --> 00:41:36,356
How much are we paying you
to be on the show?
865
00:41:36,358 --> 00:41:38,492
Not a damn thing, Jayme.
866
00:41:38,494 --> 00:41:41,461
Just this amazing spread
of food that's awesome.
867
00:41:41,463 --> 00:41:42,965
Thank you, Mark.
868
00:41:43,166 --> 00:41:45,168
- What?
- Are you out of your mind?
869
00:41:46,068 --> 00:41:49,538
Hmm? I mean, are you
out of your mind, man?
870
00:41:50,072 --> 00:41:52,439
It was so simple. All you had
to do was give him the note.
871
00:41:52,441 --> 00:41:53,541
That's it.
872
00:41:53,543 --> 00:41:55,611
Shark Tank.
I love that show.
873
00:41:56,311 --> 00:41:59,482
- They asked me to read it.
- Yeah, of course they did.
874
00:42:00,282 --> 00:42:02,285
That's how they do it.
They just...
875
00:42:04,186 --> 00:42:06,586
You weren't supposed
to go on TV, Chris.
876
00:42:06,588 --> 00:42:08,254
Now you're in it,
you realize that?
877
00:42:08,256 --> 00:42:10,323
You just got roped in
over the airwaves.
878
00:42:10,325 --> 00:42:13,193
That's probably a federal
offense or something.
879
00:42:13,195 --> 00:42:14,394
I don't know.
We could go to jail.
880
00:42:14,396 --> 00:42:17,097
- They thought it was funny.
- I don't know what's funny.
881
00:42:17,099 --> 00:42:19,733
We're broke.
How's that funny?
882
00:42:19,735 --> 00:42:22,736
- Funny.
- I gotta think about this.
883
00:42:22,738 --> 00:42:24,441
I gotta think.
I gotta...
884
00:42:24,740 --> 00:42:27,307
I gotta go home
and think about this.
885
00:42:27,309 --> 00:42:29,609
I gotta go home and think
about this, and that's it.
886
00:42:29,611 --> 00:42:32,548
We are getting closer
and closer to The Clapper.
887
00:42:33,215 --> 00:42:36,082
"If that is too much money
that we are asking for,
888
00:42:36,084 --> 00:42:38,619
please let us know
how much can happen.
889
00:42:38,621 --> 00:42:40,057
Thank you."
890
00:42:43,459 --> 00:42:46,093
Oh, wow, look at who it is.
891
00:42:46,095 --> 00:42:47,695
Mr. Movie Star, huh?
892
00:42:47,697 --> 00:42:49,729
Yeah, you piece of shit.
893
00:42:49,731 --> 00:42:51,231
Where are you going, buddy?
894
00:42:51,233 --> 00:42:53,566
Huh? You don't want to stay in
Hollywood?
895
00:42:53,568 --> 00:42:55,538
Hi. Where's your camera?
896
00:42:57,572 --> 00:43:00,374
Oh, Mr. Movie Star, huh?
897
00:43:00,376 --> 00:43:01,511
Okay.
898
00:43:02,544 --> 00:43:05,245
Hey, buddy, get out of here.
That's right, go.
899
00:43:05,247 --> 00:43:08,050
And don't bring your fucking
movie cameras here again.
900
00:43:08,584 --> 00:43:10,050
Haul ass.
901
00:43:10,052 --> 00:43:12,188
Judy! Judy!
902
00:43:13,588 --> 00:43:15,391
Eddie, you can't
let him see you.
903
00:43:16,059 --> 00:43:18,124
You can't let him
see you, Eddie.
904
00:43:18,126 --> 00:43:19,492
What? Who?
What are you talking about?
905
00:43:19,494 --> 00:43:22,296
Some people came by tonight,
asking questions.
906
00:43:22,298 --> 00:43:23,433
They had a photograph of you.
907
00:43:24,666 --> 00:43:26,367
They were blocking the pump.
Hercules was just going nuts.
908
00:43:26,369 --> 00:43:28,401
And they said they were
following you.
909
00:43:28,403 --> 00:43:29,336
Like following you.
910
00:43:29,338 --> 00:43:31,171
And then they had this guy
with a camera.
911
00:43:31,173 --> 00:43:33,707
- Yeah, yeah.
- Are you in trouble, Eddie?
912
00:43:33,709 --> 00:43:35,642
No, I'm not in trouble
exactly,
913
00:43:35,644 --> 00:43:37,413
but I mean, sort of.
914
00:43:38,113 --> 00:43:40,247
Remember the Stillerman thing
that I mentioned?
915
00:43:40,249 --> 00:43:43,553
They got it in for me somehow.
They're basically stalking me.
916
00:43:44,153 --> 00:43:45,352
- Stalking?
- Yeah.
917
00:43:45,354 --> 00:43:47,787
Mm-mm, no, Eddie, you didn't
say anything about stalking.
918
00:43:47,789 --> 00:43:49,289
I don't know about that,
919
00:43:49,291 --> 00:43:50,825
but Hercules knows
that we are friends,
920
00:43:50,827 --> 00:43:53,561
and we can't just have
the police show up.
921
00:43:53,563 --> 00:43:54,829
- Police?
- And that can't happen.
922
00:43:54,831 --> 00:43:56,229
It's just a TV guy.
923
00:43:56,231 --> 00:43:58,798
I like you, Eddie,
I really do,
924
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,533
but I need my job,
925
00:44:00,535 --> 00:44:03,403
and I know it's a stupid,
stupid, stupid job,
926
00:44:03,405 --> 00:44:05,472
but I need it,
and you know that.
927
00:44:05,474 --> 00:44:07,740
- Of course I know that.
- It's stupid, I know.
928
00:44:07,742 --> 00:44:10,711
Yes, it's fine,
but I need the job, Eddie.
929
00:44:10,713 --> 00:44:12,213
And you know
that I need the job.
930
00:44:12,215 --> 00:44:15,182
- I get it.
- But is it about your shows?
931
00:44:15,184 --> 00:44:16,850
I don't understand.
I mean, shit!
932
00:44:16,852 --> 00:44:18,852
- It's just a...
- Thing with the Growing Pains,
933
00:44:18,854 --> 00:44:20,787
and you were with a TV star
or something?
934
00:44:20,789 --> 00:44:22,622
- Alan Thicke.
- Is that what it is?
935
00:44:22,624 --> 00:44:24,124
It's not funny, Eddie.
936
00:44:24,126 --> 00:44:26,227
- This isn't funny.
- No, I know. It's not funny.
937
00:44:26,229 --> 00:44:27,861
I'm not saying it's funny.
938
00:44:27,863 --> 00:44:30,263
I'm sorry.
I should've told you before.
939
00:44:30,265 --> 00:44:31,334
What?
940
00:44:32,300 --> 00:44:34,136
- It's embarrassing.
- What's embarrassing?
941
00:44:34,604 --> 00:44:35,870
The thing.
I don't know.
942
00:44:35,872 --> 00:44:38,539
- What?
- Well, how do I explain it?
943
00:44:38,541 --> 00:44:41,242
- It's like a...
- I have to go to work.
944
00:44:41,244 --> 00:44:42,876
- I'm going to work now.
- This is coming out all wrong.
945
00:44:42,878 --> 00:44:44,413
No. Yes, I am!
946
00:44:46,615 --> 00:44:47,851
I'm gonna fix it!
947
00:44:48,416 --> 00:44:52,121
I'm gonna fix it, Judy.
I'm so sorry.
948
00:44:53,722 --> 00:44:55,358
Chris, wake up.
949
00:44:55,590 --> 00:44:57,126
Come on.
950
00:44:57,760 --> 00:44:59,196
Chris.
951
00:44:59,662 --> 00:45:01,829
Chris, come on, wake up, man.
952
00:45:01,831 --> 00:45:03,099
Wake up.
953
00:45:04,101 --> 00:45:06,135
I need that producer's number.
What's his name?
954
00:45:06,668 --> 00:45:08,337
Ratso or something?
955
00:45:08,537 --> 00:45:10,106
Right? Come on!
956
00:45:13,910 --> 00:45:15,512
Hi. Um...
957
00:45:16,878 --> 00:45:17,912
You got singles?
958
00:45:17,914 --> 00:45:19,149
Sure.
959
00:45:19,381 --> 00:45:21,717
It's for the computer,
you know.
960
00:45:24,820 --> 00:45:26,389
There ya go.
961
00:45:26,655 --> 00:45:28,424
The computer's, uh...
962
00:45:28,858 --> 00:45:30,626
It's got a search thing on it?
963
00:45:31,227 --> 00:45:33,663
Yeah, we just had
a search thing installed on 'em.
964
00:46:33,555 --> 00:46:34,390
Ma.
965
00:46:35,457 --> 00:46:36,157
Eddie Krumble,
this is Jonathan Cadwell
966
00:46:36,159 --> 00:46:37,427
from The Stillerman Show.
967
00:46:38,660 --> 00:46:39,292
And believe me when I tell you
we know who you are.
968
00:46:39,294 --> 00:46:40,494
You are The Clapper.
969
00:46:40,496 --> 00:46:42,930
You moved here in 2008.
You have a girlfriend
970
00:46:42,932 --> 00:46:44,530
that works at
the Mobil station.
971
00:46:44,532 --> 00:46:46,466
You have several
unresolved fix-it tickets
972
00:46:46,468 --> 00:46:48,836
and a warrant for
an unpaid littering ticket
973
00:46:48,838 --> 00:46:50,671
dating back nearly a decade.
974
00:46:50,673 --> 00:46:51,571
Shall I go on?
975
00:46:51,573 --> 00:46:53,776
Listen, man,
how'd you get this number?
976
00:46:54,644 --> 00:46:56,376
Eddie, this is Raf Ranter.
977
00:46:56,378 --> 00:46:58,044
Look, we're not interested
in what you do
978
00:46:58,046 --> 00:46:59,379
legally or illegally.
979
00:46:59,381 --> 00:47:00,584
We're just interested in you.
980
00:47:01,918 --> 00:47:03,184
You're the biggest
thing since Stupid Pet Tricks.
981
00:47:03,186 --> 00:47:05,988
Yeah? Save the compliments for
somebody who's looking for some.
982
00:47:06,822 --> 00:47:09,722
And I'm not comfortable
with this being on television
983
00:47:09,724 --> 00:47:11,358
unless I'm getting paid.
984
00:47:11,360 --> 00:47:13,294
You hear me? Paid.
985
00:47:13,296 --> 00:47:14,497
Eddie, just keep this
between you and me.
986
00:47:14,896 --> 00:47:16,963
There's a driver waiting
outside your apartment.
987
00:47:16,965 --> 00:47:18,767
- What?
- Yeah.
988
00:47:20,802 --> 00:47:23,037
He's been instructed to take
you to the Hilton in Burbank,
989
00:47:23,039 --> 00:47:24,305
where you have a suite
waiting for you,
990
00:47:24,307 --> 00:47:27,510
for an all-expenses paid
little vacation, all right?
991
00:47:31,713 --> 00:47:32,945
And it's free, okay?
992
00:47:32,947 --> 00:47:34,981
Your buddy Chris
is super-pumped.
993
00:47:34,983 --> 00:47:37,517
- Chris?
- We just got off the phone.
994
00:47:37,519 --> 00:47:39,952
He gave us your number.
I hope that's okay with you.
995
00:47:39,954 --> 00:47:42,791
And tonight is the night
we want you to be on the show.
996
00:47:43,559 --> 00:47:46,994
Okay, so you're cool to pay?
How much are we talking about?
997
00:47:46,996 --> 00:47:48,262
We have
a very strict policy.
998
00:47:48,264 --> 00:47:51,365
We do not and cannot pay
our guests to appear, but...
999
00:47:51,367 --> 00:47:53,800
But the exposure can
lead to a lot of things.
1000
00:47:53,802 --> 00:47:54,968
A lot of great things.
1001
00:47:54,970 --> 00:47:58,705
Exposure?
1002
00:47:58,707 --> 00:48:01,809
I can't pay phone bills
with exposure, you know?
1003
00:48:01,811 --> 00:48:04,510
You cost me my job,
my friend Chris's job.
1004
00:48:04,512 --> 00:48:08,717
Why can't you just lay off
and stop harassing my girl?
1005
00:48:29,372 --> 00:48:31,941
He said they pay people
with home appliances.
1006
00:48:32,441 --> 00:48:33,841
These people,
they're so cheap.
1007
00:48:33,843 --> 00:48:35,742
You realize they get
that stuff for free, Chris?
1008
00:48:35,744 --> 00:48:39,079
It's like on one of our shows
when they give us, you know,
1009
00:48:39,081 --> 00:48:40,580
the book the guy's promoting
1010
00:48:40,582 --> 00:48:42,615
or the window cleaner
or whatever.
1011
00:48:42,617 --> 00:48:45,954
You gotta stop answering the
phone when they call, please.
1012
00:48:46,555 --> 00:48:48,588
Can you do that? Just don't
answer the phone when they call,
1013
00:48:48,590 --> 00:48:50,157
unless they're gonna pay us,
1014
00:48:50,159 --> 00:48:51,858
and then it's a different
conversation,
1015
00:48:51,860 --> 00:48:53,727
but like up till now...
1016
00:48:53,729 --> 00:48:56,396
I don't think they can pay
people to be on their show.
1017
00:48:56,398 --> 00:48:58,599
He tried laying that one me too.
I'm not buying it.
1018
00:48:58,601 --> 00:49:02,005
They're making like
a million bucks a day, easy.
1019
00:49:02,704 --> 00:49:05,539
Well, they pay people
by promoting them.
1020
00:49:05,541 --> 00:49:07,508
The only thing they're promoting
is me being an idiot,
1021
00:49:07,510 --> 00:49:08,745
and I don't want that,
all right?
1022
00:49:09,945 --> 00:49:13,749
Up till now, it's just been
bad news, all right, Chris?
1023
00:49:21,657 --> 00:49:22,726
Where's Judy?
1024
00:49:23,425 --> 00:49:25,394
Sorry, sir,
Judy's been replaced.
1025
00:49:25,794 --> 00:49:28,564
Who are you? What's...
What are you talking about?
1026
00:49:28,764 --> 00:49:31,465
She was causing some type of
commotion with a bunch of people
1027
00:49:31,467 --> 00:49:33,066
that kept coming back
with cameras,
1028
00:49:33,068 --> 00:49:34,667
blocking the pumps
or something.
1029
00:49:34,669 --> 00:49:36,169
Mr. Hercules, the boss,
he didn't like that.
1030
00:49:36,171 --> 00:49:38,504
- Fired her on the spot.
- Are you kidding me?
1031
00:49:38,506 --> 00:49:40,106
Do you have any idea
where she is?
1032
00:49:40,108 --> 00:49:41,675
Uh, home, probably. Home.
1033
00:49:41,677 --> 00:49:43,075
Probably looking
for another job
1034
00:49:43,077 --> 00:49:44,510
'cause she's unemployed
right now.
1035
00:49:44,512 --> 00:49:46,012
Is she gonna be by later
or something?
1036
00:49:46,014 --> 00:49:47,513
What are you talking about?
1037
00:49:47,515 --> 00:49:49,749
No, no, she's definitely
been let go.
1038
00:49:49,751 --> 00:49:52,553
- She's not coming back.
- Do you have her number?
1039
00:49:52,555 --> 00:49:55,021
Nah, that would be
privileged information.
1040
00:49:55,023 --> 00:49:59,158
No way! You're that guy.
That guy from TV, The Clapper.
1041
00:49:59,160 --> 00:50:00,727
- No, that's not me.
- Hey, baby!
1042
00:50:00,729 --> 00:50:02,562
It's that guy
from The Stillerman Show!
1043
00:50:02,564 --> 00:50:03,896
- I'm just looking for Judy.
- Naw, you're him.
1044
00:50:03,898 --> 00:50:05,932
I seen you on the show
last night on the TV.
1045
00:50:05,934 --> 00:50:08,234
I knew I recognized him.
Can I take a picture?
1046
00:50:08,236 --> 00:50:10,704
I knew I recognized you.
You're The Clapper.
1047
00:50:10,706 --> 00:50:12,238
- You're so funny, man.
- It's not me.
1048
00:50:12,240 --> 00:50:13,774
- He's phenomenal.
- Not me.
1049
00:50:13,776 --> 00:50:15,709
- Yeah, you're The Clapper.
- Okay, no.
1050
00:50:15,711 --> 00:50:17,144
Can I take a picture
for the booth, please?
1051
00:50:17,146 --> 00:50:19,178
- No, no, no.
- Just one picture.
1052
00:50:19,180 --> 00:50:20,546
- No big deal.
- Come on.
1053
00:50:20,548 --> 00:50:21,747
Don't be that guy!
1054
00:50:21,749 --> 00:50:23,182
You're being that guy
right now.
1055
00:50:23,184 --> 00:50:24,953
There ya go.
It's The Clapper!
1056
00:50:37,832 --> 00:50:39,233
What you're
talking about here
1057
00:50:39,235 --> 00:50:42,035
is almost an acre of property
1058
00:50:42,037 --> 00:50:43,769
for pennies on the dollar.
1059
00:50:43,771 --> 00:50:45,838
Pennies on the dollar!
1060
00:50:45,840 --> 00:50:49,575
Pennies on the dollar!
Pennies on the dollar!
1061
00:50:49,577 --> 00:50:52,879
And at Tranquil Estates,
there are seven lakes
1062
00:50:52,881 --> 00:50:54,680
bustling with catfish,
1063
00:50:54,682 --> 00:50:57,950
thirteen playgrounds,
and three golf courses.
1064
00:50:57,952 --> 00:50:59,887
Now that's the good news.
The bad news,
1065
00:50:59,889 --> 00:51:01,220
full disclosure here,
1066
00:51:01,222 --> 00:51:03,557
they're also planning
an entire slew
1067
00:51:03,559 --> 00:51:06,059
of retail outlet stores,
1068
00:51:06,061 --> 00:51:08,030
and each one of them...
1069
00:52:28,910 --> 00:52:33,182
Lumber Liquidators.
Hardwood floors for life.
1070
00:52:33,782 --> 00:52:35,948
Hi, folks, you know,
you can spend a fortune
1071
00:52:35,950 --> 00:52:38,352
and wait a lifetime
for your favorite artist
1072
00:52:38,354 --> 00:52:40,820
to come to your town
on a promotional tour,
1073
00:52:40,822 --> 00:52:43,222
or you can let us
do it for you.
1074
00:52:43,224 --> 00:52:45,325
Here's Brian Wilson, live,
1075
00:52:45,327 --> 00:52:47,794
promoting his new CD
of greatest hits,
1076
00:52:47,796 --> 00:52:50,967
singing one of my favorites,
"Love and Mercy."
1077
00:52:59,874 --> 00:53:03,109
♪ I was sittin'
In a crummy movie ♪
1078
00:53:03,111 --> 00:53:07,046
♪ With my hands on my chin ♪
1079
00:53:07,048 --> 00:53:08,881
Thank you.
1080
00:53:08,883 --> 00:53:12,251
♪ All the violence
That occurs ♪
1081
00:53:12,253 --> 00:53:15,824
♪ Seems like we never win ♪
1082
00:53:18,760 --> 00:53:20,426
♪ Love and mercy ♪
1083
00:53:20,428 --> 00:53:25,001
♪ That's what you need
Tonight ♪
1084
00:53:26,300 --> 00:53:29,769
♪ Love and mercy tonight ♪
1085
00:53:29,771 --> 00:53:31,838
Yes, yes,
you gotta love it.
1086
00:53:31,840 --> 00:53:34,207
Hey, when you really want
to reach out to people,
1087
00:53:34,209 --> 00:53:38,114
what better way than
right here on TV, isn't it?
1088
00:53:47,289 --> 00:53:50,390
Hey, Chris.
How ya doing?
1089
00:53:50,392 --> 00:53:53,827
- You must be...
- Yeah, no, I'm Eddie, right?
1090
00:53:53,829 --> 00:53:55,428
The Clapper or whatever.
1091
00:53:55,430 --> 00:53:57,030
And it's great
to finally meet you.
1092
00:53:57,032 --> 00:53:59,399
We've spoken already.
This is Jonathan Cadwell.
1093
00:53:59,401 --> 00:54:01,100
- He's our showrunner.
- How ya doing?
1094
00:54:01,102 --> 00:54:03,437
He's gonna quickly brief you
on a couple of the briefings.
1095
00:54:03,439 --> 00:54:05,742
Good stuff. Mr. Krumble,
just so we're clear,
1096
00:54:06,140 --> 00:54:08,774
you understand there'll be no
monetary compensation for this.
1097
00:54:08,776 --> 00:54:10,876
- Correct?
- But we have excellent prizes.
1098
00:54:10,878 --> 00:54:12,312
- We do.
- And goodie bags.
1099
00:54:12,314 --> 00:54:13,446
Who doesn't want
a new yoga ball?
1100
00:54:13,448 --> 00:54:15,318
- Am I right?
- It's all good, man.
1101
00:54:15,983 --> 00:54:18,084
I'm just here to promote, right?
1102
00:54:18,086 --> 00:54:21,021
That's the thing. I'm gonna
promote looking for Judy.
1103
00:54:21,023 --> 00:54:23,923
Of course, absolutely.
Chris got me up to speed.
1104
00:54:23,925 --> 00:54:26,928
We have her information.
Judy from the gas station.
1105
00:54:27,361 --> 00:54:30,363
She worked at a gas station.
She's not from a gas station.
1106
00:54:30,365 --> 00:54:34,734
I'll make a note. I'm gonna
log it away up here. Good stuff.
1107
00:54:34,736 --> 00:54:36,403
If there's any funny business,
we're outta here.
1108
00:54:36,405 --> 00:54:38,070
- No funny business.
- Eddie-cakes,
1109
00:54:38,072 --> 00:54:39,405
I'm offended
you'd even think that.
1110
00:54:39,407 --> 00:54:41,243
- What?
- Eddie Crumpets?
1111
00:54:41,809 --> 00:54:43,343
- No.
- Crumblecakes.
1112
00:54:43,345 --> 00:54:45,178
He don't really eat
cake like that.
1113
00:54:45,180 --> 00:54:46,249
Nothing with cake, right?
1114
00:54:47,483 --> 00:54:48,948
Eddie, we're here to find Judy.
That's what we're gonna do.
1115
00:54:48,950 --> 00:54:50,483
We good?
You guys feel good?
1116
00:54:50,485 --> 00:54:52,017
- Yeah.
- Let's find Judy.
1117
00:54:52,019 --> 00:54:55,187
Gentlemen, this is
Dr. Rogers Hay.
1118
00:54:55,189 --> 00:54:56,523
He's another guest
on the show tonight.
1119
00:54:56,525 --> 00:54:58,327
Please make yourselves
comfortable.
1120
00:54:58,894 --> 00:55:00,994
Hey, hey, Dr. Hay,
loved your book.
1121
00:55:00,996 --> 00:55:02,995
Well, my assistant did,
you know, so...
1122
00:55:02,997 --> 00:55:04,930
This might be the first book
I read in 10 years.
1123
00:55:04,932 --> 00:55:06,399
You're the total package, buddy,
1124
00:55:06,401 --> 00:55:08,367
and you know which one
I'm talking about.
1125
00:55:08,369 --> 00:55:09,936
We'll be right back.
1126
00:55:09,938 --> 00:55:11,974
Can I just say,
I don't really trust that guy.
1127
00:55:12,340 --> 00:55:15,075
You know, I feel like Charlie
Brown with Peppermint Patty,
1128
00:55:15,077 --> 00:55:16,079
like the football?
1129
00:55:17,180 --> 00:55:18,981
I think the character
you're referring to is Lucy.
1130
00:55:20,381 --> 00:55:21,847
- What?
- You know her?
1131
00:55:21,849 --> 00:55:24,517
No, I don't,
but I do know the cartoon,
1132
00:55:24,519 --> 00:55:29,021
and I think, Eddie...
your name is Eddie, yes?
1133
00:55:29,023 --> 00:55:30,055
Yeah.
1134
00:55:30,057 --> 00:55:31,858
That Stillerman
and all of them
1135
00:55:31,860 --> 00:55:34,193
are trying to control
your destiny.
1136
00:55:34,195 --> 00:55:35,898
Would you agree with me?
1137
00:55:36,298 --> 00:55:37,898
You're that guru guy.
1138
00:55:37,900 --> 00:55:41,867
The voice and the eyes.
I got it. I just placed it.
1139
00:55:41,869 --> 00:55:44,303
Remember? We did one of
your shows a while back.
1140
00:55:44,305 --> 00:55:46,238
We walked on like hot coals,
but they weren't.
1141
00:55:46,240 --> 00:55:49,809
- It wasn't hot.
- Of course they weren't hot.
1142
00:55:49,811 --> 00:55:52,012
No, because it was
all about your courage
1143
00:55:52,014 --> 00:55:54,414
to do something
of which you were afraid,
1144
00:55:54,416 --> 00:55:56,149
to show that
you were in charge,
1145
00:55:56,151 --> 00:56:00,519
that you had faith that
we would not burn your feet.
1146
00:56:00,521 --> 00:56:02,888
Yeah, that and we got paid
50 bucks.
1147
00:56:02,890 --> 00:56:05,225
- 75.
- Even if we paid you $100,
1148
00:56:05,227 --> 00:56:07,494
you wouldn't have burned
your feet, now, would you have?
1149
00:56:07,496 --> 00:56:08,997
Wait, how much?
1150
00:56:10,298 --> 00:56:14,066
Either way, you've gotta
take control of your life.
1151
00:56:14,068 --> 00:56:16,570
When people try to sway you
away from what you want,
1152
00:56:16,572 --> 00:56:18,604
you've got to
reel them back in.
1153
00:56:18,606 --> 00:56:20,442
You've got to reel them
back in.
1154
00:56:20,943 --> 00:56:22,475
Reel them in, Eddie.
1155
00:56:22,477 --> 00:56:26,315
Take control of your destiny.
1156
00:56:27,316 --> 00:56:29,048
Can I...
I'm sorry to interrupt.
1157
00:56:29,050 --> 00:56:31,452
I'm like super uncomfortable
right now.
1158
00:56:32,553 --> 00:56:34,988
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
without any further ado,
1159
00:56:34,990 --> 00:56:36,590
may I please introduce to you,
1160
00:56:36,592 --> 00:56:38,524
after much hard detective work,
1161
00:56:38,526 --> 00:56:40,526
everyone's favorite
audience member,
1162
00:56:40,528 --> 00:56:43,064
Eddie Krumble, The Clapper!
1163
00:56:49,905 --> 00:56:53,039
Thank you, Eddie, please.
1164
00:56:53,041 --> 00:56:54,207
Oh, man!
1165
00:56:54,209 --> 00:56:56,642
I gotta tell you,
it's a real pleasure
1166
00:56:56,644 --> 00:56:58,979
finally meeting the man
behind the, uh,
1167
00:56:58,981 --> 00:57:00,646
the clapping, I guess.
1168
00:57:00,648 --> 00:57:02,148
Yeah, sure.
1169
00:57:02,150 --> 00:57:04,216
Okay, Eddie Krumble,
you're a clapper?
1170
00:57:04,218 --> 00:57:05,218
Yeah.
1171
00:57:05,220 --> 00:57:08,220
Tell us how this works.
So you get paid to clap?
1172
00:57:08,222 --> 00:57:11,490
- Yeah, and laugh sometimes.
- When things aren't funny.
1173
00:57:11,492 --> 00:57:13,959
Sure, yeah, like when
they're supposed to be funny,
1174
00:57:13,961 --> 00:57:15,128
but they're not?
1175
00:57:15,130 --> 00:57:16,229
- Yeah.
- Yeah.
1176
00:57:16,231 --> 00:57:18,265
- You're preaching to the choir.
- Yeah.
1177
00:57:18,267 --> 00:57:20,602
The Chris cam,
ladies and gentlemen.
1178
00:57:23,405 --> 00:57:26,939
There he is, right there.
Does he know you're doing that?
1179
00:57:26,941 --> 00:57:28,541
- Does he know you're filming?
- Absolutely not.
1180
00:57:28,543 --> 00:57:30,378
That's what makes it so great.
1181
00:57:30,611 --> 00:57:32,544
- Hmm.
- So anyway,
1182
00:57:32,546 --> 00:57:33,680
somewhere along the way,
1183
00:57:33,682 --> 00:57:35,852
you sent your friend Chris
in here
1184
00:57:36,017 --> 00:57:38,984
uh, with a self-ransom note
1185
00:57:38,986 --> 00:57:44,390
to collect a million-dollar
bounty on you, funny enough,
1186
00:57:44,392 --> 00:57:45,861
is that right?
1187
00:57:46,193 --> 00:57:48,160
Well, we tried
calling your producer guy,
1188
00:57:48,162 --> 00:57:50,396
and he said that you didn't
pay anybody to come on the show,
1189
00:57:50,398 --> 00:57:53,666
so they offered us like
a toaster or something, right?
1190
00:57:53,668 --> 00:57:56,369
- It's a nice toaster.
- I mean, what is that?
1191
00:57:56,371 --> 00:57:58,405
What do you give the big stars
that come on here,
1192
00:57:58,407 --> 00:58:01,408
like Van Damme or somebody?
He's not gonna take a toaster.
1193
00:58:01,410 --> 00:58:03,376
I gotta be honest with you.
Nowadays I think Van Damme
1194
00:58:03,378 --> 00:58:06,349
would be happy with
a pizza pocket, huh?
1195
00:58:08,215 --> 00:58:11,085
But guess what. You're here,
and that's all that matters.
1196
00:58:12,688 --> 00:58:17,090
Yeah, all right, yeah,
so, you know, I...
1197
00:58:17,092 --> 00:58:19,158
Your guy said that people
come on here to promote things,
1198
00:58:19,160 --> 00:58:20,559
but I didn't have
anything to promote,
1199
00:58:20,561 --> 00:58:22,162
so I thought maybe
I could come on the show
1200
00:58:22,164 --> 00:58:24,164
and promote trying
to find Judy.
1201
00:58:24,166 --> 00:58:27,666
That's... Yeah.
'Cause of the promoting thing
1202
00:58:27,668 --> 00:58:31,973
Look at your boy.
1203
00:58:32,707 --> 00:58:36,209
Look at him.
He's all comfortable, legs up.
1204
00:58:36,211 --> 00:58:38,445
He's reading that book
1205
00:58:38,447 --> 00:58:42,716
He's reading a book.
What are you laughing at?
1206
00:58:42,718 --> 00:58:45,187
- Clap for us, Clapper!
- Yeah!
1207
00:58:46,454 --> 00:58:48,088
You see what I'm saying?
1208
00:58:48,090 --> 00:58:49,990
That's what I'm talking about.
Like what is that?
1209
00:58:49,992 --> 00:58:52,093
You wanted to clap?
What is that for?
1210
00:58:53,628 --> 00:58:55,628
How is that funny
or interesting?
1211
00:58:55,630 --> 00:58:58,200
Like this? What is that?
I don't get it.
1212
00:59:02,169 --> 00:59:05,037
Man, Eddie, take a deep breath,
all right?
1213
00:59:05,039 --> 00:59:06,638
You wanna make a big joke
out of me, go ahead.
1214
00:59:06,640 --> 00:59:10,343
That's fine. The only reason
I came here is 'cause I thought
1215
00:59:10,345 --> 00:59:12,345
is it's the only way
I could find her, right?
1216
00:59:12,347 --> 00:59:14,247
I thought maybe somebody
out there might know her
1217
00:59:14,249 --> 00:59:16,249
or can just
talk to her and tell her
1218
00:59:16,251 --> 00:59:20,320
that I just want to see her and
talk to her and sort things out.
1219
00:59:20,322 --> 00:59:21,754
- That's it, right?
- Awww!
1220
00:59:21,756 --> 00:59:25,327
Yeah, awww!
Save the sympathy, all right?
1221
00:59:25,727 --> 00:59:29,231
That's what I'm here for,
just to promote finding her.
1222
00:59:31,365 --> 00:59:34,033
Do you have a picture?
Maybe a description,
1223
00:59:34,035 --> 00:59:35,801
an artist's rendition,
a caricature, something?
1224
00:59:35,803 --> 00:59:38,974
We'll use, uh...
1225
00:59:39,640 --> 00:59:41,476
Well, yeah,
I mean, she's like...
1226
00:59:42,510 --> 00:59:44,144
She's beautiful, right?
1227
00:59:44,146 --> 00:59:47,079
She's got this like
kinda blond mousy thing
1228
00:59:47,081 --> 00:59:50,115
going on with her hair,
but beautiful.
1229
00:59:50,117 --> 00:59:53,322
And not in like a normal
beautiful way,
1230
00:59:53,822 --> 00:59:57,293
but beautiful, beautiful.
1231
00:59:57,559 --> 00:59:58,995
Aww.
1232
00:59:59,394 --> 01:00:02,131
Kinda like a cute emoji,
I'm picturing, you know?
1233
01:00:02,296 --> 01:00:04,129
But I think we're starting
to get you, Eddie.
1234
01:00:04,131 --> 01:00:06,298
So here's what we do now, guys.
Her name is Judy.
1235
01:00:06,300 --> 01:00:08,434
She has mousy hair
that's kind of beautiful,
1236
01:00:08,436 --> 01:00:10,503
but not normal kind
of beautiful, right?
1237
01:00:10,505 --> 01:00:13,372
And she was recently fired
from a gas station,
1238
01:00:13,374 --> 01:00:15,541
and we need you
to help us find her
1239
01:00:15,543 --> 01:00:19,812
because we will reunite
Eddie Krumble and Judy
1240
01:00:19,814 --> 01:00:21,713
right here on this show!
1241
01:00:21,715 --> 01:00:23,785
DJ Spider, play us out.
1242
01:00:25,653 --> 01:00:27,720
- You guys crushed it.
- Yes!
1243
01:00:27,722 --> 01:00:30,457
And we were wondering if you
would be willing to go out,
1244
01:00:30,459 --> 01:00:31,327
with pay, of course,
1245
01:00:32,695 --> 01:00:33,693
for one of our Stillerman
On The Street segments.
1246
01:00:33,695 --> 01:00:34,628
It was nice of you guys
to have us on the show,
1247
01:00:34,630 --> 01:00:39,332
but you'll let us know
if anybody calls.
1248
01:00:39,334 --> 01:00:41,300
- What?
- How much you paying?
1249
01:00:41,302 --> 01:00:43,836
We understand the situation
you guys are in financially,
1250
01:00:43,838 --> 01:00:45,571
both of you, and...
1251
01:00:45,573 --> 01:00:47,407
we're willing to do
whatever we can to help.
1252
01:00:47,409 --> 01:00:49,475
We're talking a monster payday
here for you, okay?
1253
01:00:49,477 --> 01:00:53,146
We are prepared to give you
$5,000 per appearance,
1254
01:00:53,148 --> 01:00:55,881
with a minimum guarantee
of five appearances.
1255
01:00:55,883 --> 01:00:57,249
All we're asking of you
1256
01:00:57,251 --> 01:00:59,255
is exactly what
you came to us for.
1257
01:00:59,553 --> 01:01:01,187
Help us all find Judy.
1258
01:01:01,189 --> 01:01:03,189
Oh, you ain't gotta do
no convincing here.
1259
01:01:03,191 --> 01:01:06,495
That's great.
Eddie, are you in?
1260
01:01:07,863 --> 01:01:10,366
That's it.
No other stuff like... Yeah?
1261
01:01:10,599 --> 01:01:11,597
- No.
- No.
1262
01:01:11,599 --> 01:01:13,332
Uh, yeah, yeah.
1263
01:01:13,334 --> 01:01:15,801
I mean, if that's all
we're doing, no other stuff.
1264
01:01:15,803 --> 01:01:17,470
You know what?
Okay, all right.
1265
01:01:17,472 --> 01:01:20,340
- Oh, that is great.
- Sound like we got a deal.
1266
01:01:20,342 --> 01:01:22,644
- Tina, get us some contracts.
- Guys, I love your faces.
1267
01:01:23,244 --> 01:01:26,548
Tina! Ohh!
Where the fuck are you?
1268
01:01:28,383 --> 01:01:31,416
- And action!
- Hi, I'm Eddie Krumble.
1269
01:01:31,418 --> 01:01:33,586
I'm here at the gas station
where Judy used to work.
1270
01:01:33,588 --> 01:01:36,189
She doesn't work here anymore
'cause she got fired.
1271
01:01:36,191 --> 01:01:38,323
Off to the side, tip it.
Let's see the Chyron.
1272
01:01:38,325 --> 01:01:40,792
Um, wait, can I do it again?
1273
01:01:40,794 --> 01:01:42,164
Don't look at me.
Look at the camera.
1274
01:01:42,363 --> 01:01:43,662
You're lookin' at me.
Don't look at me.
1275
01:01:43,664 --> 01:01:45,164
I know I'm talking to you,
but don't look at me.
1276
01:01:45,166 --> 01:01:46,365
Don't look at me.
Look at the camera.
1277
01:01:46,367 --> 01:01:47,802
You're looking at me again.
1278
01:01:50,472 --> 01:01:51,937
Go talk to that attendant,
ask about Judy,
1279
01:01:51,939 --> 01:01:53,573
where she is,
all that kind of stuff.
1280
01:01:53,575 --> 01:01:54,640
- That guy?
- Yes.
1281
01:01:54,642 --> 01:01:55,874
I'm not talking to that guy.
1282
01:01:55,876 --> 01:01:58,311
Anyone who blocks my pumps
is dead forever.
1283
01:01:58,313 --> 01:01:59,945
You can hit a strip club
in about 10 minutes.
1284
01:01:59,947 --> 01:02:01,146
We're gonna be completely
out of your hair.
1285
01:02:01,148 --> 01:02:03,682
I got a picture of your mother
right here by Dairy Queen.
1286
01:02:03,684 --> 01:02:06,352
Yeah, I'm sure you got a
yellow Mercedes Benz.
1287
01:02:06,354 --> 01:02:08,655
- That's wonderful, sir.
- I can sit here and jack off.
1288
01:02:08,657 --> 01:02:10,492
No, don't put that out there.
1289
01:02:12,593 --> 01:02:14,260
I want to make love
to everybody here.
1290
01:02:14,262 --> 01:02:16,562
Not you, sir.
You disgust me.
1291
01:02:16,564 --> 01:02:18,932
This is Eddie and Chris
for The Stillerman Show.
1292
01:02:18,934 --> 01:02:20,666
Have you seen Judy?
1293
01:02:20,668 --> 01:02:23,369
Yes, I saw a Judy.
1294
01:02:23,371 --> 01:02:25,673
Excuse me, Homo sapiens skull,
have you seen Judy?
1295
01:02:26,675 --> 01:02:28,276
I'm gonna take that as a no.
1296
01:02:32,713 --> 01:02:35,383
Who's the baddest motherfuckers
in late night?
1297
01:02:36,517 --> 01:02:38,718
All right, guys, listen,
you're gonna kill out there.
1298
01:02:38,720 --> 01:02:41,387
I love you, I love your faces,
I love your bodies, go win.
1299
01:02:41,389 --> 01:02:42,557
Whoo!
1300
01:02:46,360 --> 01:02:48,227
Okay, don't hurt yourself.
1301
01:02:48,229 --> 01:02:49,662
Sir, I love your style.
1302
01:02:49,664 --> 01:02:52,698
Maybe you can come on over
and join us?
1303
01:02:52,700 --> 01:02:55,300
We'll have a quick conversation
in front of the camera.
1304
01:02:55,302 --> 01:02:56,970
Hold on, hold on, sir,
this way.
1305
01:02:56,972 --> 01:02:59,238
Let's have a quick,
calm conversation
1306
01:02:59,240 --> 01:03:00,608
in front of the camera.
1307
01:03:04,878 --> 01:03:06,514
Yeah?
1308
01:03:08,650 --> 01:03:09,718
Hi. Louise?
1309
01:03:09,985 --> 01:03:12,619
Sorry to bother you.
Are you...
1310
01:03:12,621 --> 01:03:16,622
Do you do the castings
for the shows' audiences?
1311
01:03:16,624 --> 01:03:18,024
'Cause I'm a friend
of Eddie Krumble.
1312
01:03:18,026 --> 01:03:19,524
Oh, you're a friend.
1313
01:03:19,526 --> 01:03:21,294
I know that he used
to work here at least.
1314
01:03:21,296 --> 01:03:22,294
That's what he told me.
1315
01:03:22,296 --> 01:03:24,400
Okay, is this the idiot
you're talking about?
1316
01:03:24,832 --> 01:03:26,865
Hi, I'm Eddie Krumble.
I'm here at the gas station
1317
01:03:26,867 --> 01:03:28,033
where Judy used to work.
1318
01:03:28,035 --> 01:03:29,869
She doesn't work here anymore.
1319
01:03:29,871 --> 01:03:31,740
- She got fired.
- Oh, my God.
1320
01:03:32,974 --> 01:03:34,410
Um...
1321
01:03:34,909 --> 01:03:36,644
Sorry, yeah.
1322
01:03:38,412 --> 01:03:39,615
Thanks.
1323
01:03:42,717 --> 01:03:43,883
Ladies and gentlemen,
1324
01:03:43,885 --> 01:03:45,852
we have a huge surprise
for you today.
1325
01:03:45,854 --> 01:03:49,421
Backstage, we have Eddie,
and what he doesn't know
1326
01:03:49,423 --> 01:03:51,923
is through the help of you,
our viewing audience,
1327
01:03:51,925 --> 01:03:54,760
we have on hold right now,
1328
01:03:54,762 --> 01:03:56,998
the ever-elusive Judy.
1329
01:03:59,300 --> 01:04:01,566
So without further ado,
let's bring him out,
1330
01:04:01,568 --> 01:04:04,038
Eddie Krumble, the world's
most famous audience member.
1331
01:04:08,376 --> 01:04:10,778
Welcome back.
Good to see you.
1332
01:04:13,648 --> 01:04:14,981
Been quite a month, huh?
1333
01:04:14,983 --> 01:04:16,515
Sure has, Jayme.
1334
01:04:16,517 --> 01:04:17,916
Just think about it,
one month ago,
1335
01:04:17,918 --> 01:04:19,619
you were an obscure clapper,
1336
01:04:19,621 --> 01:04:23,722
and today the entire country
is rooting for you.
1337
01:04:23,724 --> 01:04:24,959
Yeah.
1338
01:04:25,593 --> 01:04:26,992
So let's get right down to it.
1339
01:04:26,994 --> 01:04:28,760
As you know,
last time you were here,
1340
01:04:28,762 --> 01:04:31,097
you were on,
looking for your friend Judy,
1341
01:04:31,099 --> 01:04:33,468
and I pledged
to help you find her.
1342
01:04:33,834 --> 01:04:35,468
And, well, um,
1343
01:04:35,470 --> 01:04:38,640
why don't we just let you
speak to her yourself.
1344
01:04:39,541 --> 01:04:40,476
Hello?
1345
01:04:41,477 --> 01:04:44,077
Hello. Eddie?
Eddie, are you there?
1346
01:04:44,079 --> 01:04:46,079
Judy, hi!
1347
01:04:46,081 --> 01:04:47,847
Is that you? Because
these people just called me
1348
01:04:47,849 --> 01:04:51,117
and Louise was showing me
you on the TV and...
1349
01:04:51,119 --> 01:04:52,818
- What's going on?
- Well...
1350
01:04:52,820 --> 01:04:54,519
And why were you at my job?
1351
01:04:54,521 --> 01:04:56,555
I saw you wearing this shirt
with my name on it,
1352
01:04:56,557 --> 01:04:58,591
making a joke about me
getting fired?
1353
01:04:58,593 --> 01:05:01,426
You think that's funny?
How could you do that?
1354
01:05:01,428 --> 01:05:04,430
Whoa, no, no, no.
They got this all wrong.
1355
01:05:04,432 --> 01:05:05,898
- I know what I saw, Eddie.
- No, Judy.
1356
01:05:05,900 --> 01:05:08,401
Eddie's actually really
gone to some great lengths
1357
01:05:08,403 --> 01:05:09,501
- to talk to you.
- Yeah.
1358
01:05:09,503 --> 01:05:10,937
Who is that with you?
1359
01:05:10,939 --> 01:05:13,876
- It's me, Jayme Stillerman.
- Who?
1360
01:05:14,476 --> 01:05:16,878
Just some guy on TV,
you know.
1361
01:05:17,111 --> 01:05:20,412
- On TV? Are we on TV now?
- You bet.
1362
01:05:20,414 --> 01:05:21,814
- No!
- No, not at all.
1363
01:05:21,816 --> 01:05:23,448
Not even one bit.
1364
01:05:23,450 --> 01:05:25,917
Yeah, we are, but it's not...
1365
01:05:25,919 --> 01:05:27,553
Are you kidding me?
1366
01:05:27,555 --> 01:05:29,454
Are these the people
you sent to my job,
1367
01:05:29,456 --> 01:05:30,622
the people that got me fired?
1368
01:05:30,624 --> 01:05:32,858
You told me these people
were stalking you,
1369
01:05:32,860 --> 01:05:34,593
- and now you're doing it to me?
- Stalking?
1370
01:05:34,595 --> 01:05:37,829
No, Judy. I don't believe Eddie
has been stalking you at all.
1371
01:05:37,831 --> 01:05:40,568
I'm sure he would love to, but
he doesn't know where you live.
1372
01:05:41,436 --> 01:05:42,901
Judy, you got the wrong idea.
1373
01:05:42,903 --> 01:05:45,037
I just didn't have any way
to get in touch with you,
1374
01:05:45,039 --> 01:05:46,204
so I did what I could.
1375
01:05:46,206 --> 01:05:48,573
You know how much that job
meant to me, Eddie.
1376
01:05:48,575 --> 01:05:50,813
You got me fired
for some dumb prank.
1377
01:05:51,445 --> 01:05:53,579
I can't believe
you would do that.
1378
01:05:53,581 --> 01:05:55,914
Please stop calling me,
stop harassing me.
1379
01:05:55,916 --> 01:05:57,883
I'm sorry.
Just stop, okay?
1380
01:05:57,885 --> 01:05:59,688
Hello?
1381
01:06:00,088 --> 01:06:02,423
Judy?
1382
01:06:02,624 --> 01:06:04,490
Somebody get her
back on the phone!
1383
01:06:04,492 --> 01:06:06,191
She says if we call again,
she's gonna call the police.
1384
01:06:06,193 --> 01:06:09,428
Okay. Okay, so she's
a little shaken.
1385
01:06:09,430 --> 01:06:10,597
Yeah, of course she's shaken.
1386
01:06:10,599 --> 01:06:12,899
You can't just call someone
and put 'em on television.
1387
01:06:12,901 --> 01:06:14,901
She was told straight away
this was gonna be a live feed.
1388
01:06:14,903 --> 01:06:16,468
She probably doesn't
know what that means.
1389
01:06:16,470 --> 01:06:18,171
I don't know what
a live feed means.
1390
01:06:18,173 --> 01:06:20,039
Just...
If you give me her number...
1391
01:06:20,041 --> 01:06:22,175
We can't.
Legally, we need permission.
1392
01:06:22,177 --> 01:06:23,412
Permission?
1393
01:06:24,479 --> 01:06:25,745
Since when do you give a damn
about permission?
1394
01:06:25,747 --> 01:06:27,146
You never asked for permission
any for stuff you did with me.
1395
01:06:27,148 --> 01:06:28,680
Wait, hold on a second.
1396
01:06:28,682 --> 01:06:30,515
When you did those infomercials,
you signed waivers
1397
01:06:30,517 --> 01:06:32,751
to any and all forms
of rebroadcast.
1398
01:06:32,753 --> 01:06:35,053
Yeah, well, you kinda took that
and ran with it, didn't you?
1399
01:06:35,055 --> 01:06:36,655
We want to see you
two back together.
1400
01:06:36,657 --> 01:06:38,090
The whole country
wants to see that.
1401
01:06:38,092 --> 01:06:39,959
I don't care what
the country wants.
1402
01:06:39,961 --> 01:06:40,996
I just want to talk to her.
1403
01:06:42,262 --> 01:06:42,829
We're gonna straighten this out.
We just need a couple of days,
1404
01:06:42,831 --> 01:06:44,666
I need you to trust me.
1405
01:06:46,501 --> 01:06:48,568
That's $15,000.
1406
01:06:48,570 --> 01:06:49,769
That is a lot of
applause, Eddie,
1407
01:06:49,771 --> 01:06:52,004
so just take a breath,
give us a beat,
1408
01:06:52,006 --> 01:06:54,006
and we are gonna get
the two of you back together.
1409
01:06:54,008 --> 01:06:55,577
- Promise.
- Like it never happened.
1410
01:06:56,477 --> 01:06:58,813
This isn't what I wanted.
You know that.
1411
01:07:04,818 --> 01:07:06,654
Ah.
1412
01:07:07,956 --> 01:07:09,425
Okay, Eddie.
1413
01:07:09,890 --> 01:07:11,526
Don't worry...
1414
01:07:12,626 --> 01:07:13,861
at all.
1415
01:07:16,731 --> 01:07:18,830
Just, you know,
like who could've thought
1416
01:07:18,832 --> 01:07:21,834
$15,000 would feel
so crummy, you know?
1417
01:07:21,836 --> 01:07:23,439
Yeah.
1418
01:07:25,106 --> 01:07:26,575
Thanks.
1419
01:07:27,242 --> 01:07:29,975
You're like always there,
you know?
1420
01:07:29,977 --> 01:07:31,046
Aw.
1421
01:07:31,512 --> 01:07:32,847
Well, yeah, I mean...
1422
01:07:33,814 --> 01:07:34,849
Yeah.
1423
01:07:35,784 --> 01:07:37,682
I can be a real jerk
sometimes, you know,
1424
01:07:37,684 --> 01:07:40,653
and you're like this guy,
1425
01:07:40,655 --> 01:07:42,254
and I know you got things
you could be doing,
1426
01:07:42,256 --> 01:07:43,856
but you're like
always there for me.
1427
01:07:43,858 --> 01:07:46,258
And I'm not trying
to make you uncomfortable.
1428
01:07:46,260 --> 01:07:48,463
I'm just pointing it out, okay?
1429
01:07:49,264 --> 01:07:51,467
Eddie, you're my friend.
1430
01:07:52,267 --> 01:07:53,635
Yeah.
1431
01:07:54,135 --> 01:07:55,133
That's it, huh?
1432
01:07:55,135 --> 01:07:56,904
- Yes!
- All right.
1433
01:07:57,771 --> 01:08:00,106
Don't worry. Everything's
gonna be okay, okay?
1434
01:08:00,108 --> 01:08:01,606
It is, right?
1435
01:08:01,608 --> 01:08:03,744
- I mean, that's...
- Gimme five, man.
1436
01:08:04,646 --> 01:08:05,912
See you tomorrow, okay?
1437
01:08:05,914 --> 01:08:07,079
- Okay.
- Later.
1438
01:08:07,081 --> 01:08:08,983
- Good night, Chris.
- All right.
1439
01:08:42,349 --> 01:08:44,350
Hello.
The Jayme Stillerman Show.
1440
01:08:44,352 --> 01:08:48,320
Can I speak to, um, Ralph?
Can I...
1441
01:08:48,322 --> 01:08:50,690
It's... It's Eddie Krumble!
1442
01:08:50,692 --> 01:08:52,928
I got to talk to Ralph Ranter
right now.
1443
01:08:53,961 --> 01:08:56,798
The... It's The Clapper!
1444
01:08:57,331 --> 01:08:59,599
- Hello, hello?
- Hey, Eddie.
1445
01:08:59,601 --> 01:09:01,367
- Hey, hey, Ralph.
- Listen, Eddie.
1446
01:09:01,369 --> 01:09:03,336
Things are starting to move
really fast here,
1447
01:09:03,338 --> 01:09:05,037
and I just have to ask you.
1448
01:09:05,039 --> 01:09:07,138
You don't have any kind
of criminal record
1449
01:09:07,140 --> 01:09:09,809
- or anything like that, do you?
- Are you kidding me?
1450
01:09:09,811 --> 01:09:12,243
What are you talking about?
I didn't even want to be on TV!
1451
01:09:12,245 --> 01:09:14,113
You're the ones
who did all this!
1452
01:09:14,115 --> 01:09:15,314
Criminal record!
1453
01:09:15,316 --> 01:09:18,016
I understand, man, but
she used the word "stalker."
1454
01:09:18,018 --> 01:09:19,819
I'm sure
it's a misunderstanding,
1455
01:09:19,821 --> 01:09:21,654
but there are a lot
of moving parts.
1456
01:09:21,656 --> 01:09:24,222
I'll come back on.
I'll straighten it all out.
1457
01:09:24,224 --> 01:09:25,490
I just gotta straighten it out.
1458
01:09:25,492 --> 01:09:28,994
We're gonna have to take a beat
on any further appearances.
1459
01:09:28,996 --> 01:09:31,696
- Why?
- There are rumors circulating,
1460
01:09:31,698 --> 01:09:33,833
and, uh, let me...
1461
01:09:33,835 --> 01:09:35,333
Rumors?
What are you talking about?
1462
01:09:35,335 --> 01:09:36,871
- Let me just call you.
- You can't...
1463
01:09:38,772 --> 01:09:41,207
Give me Judy's number.
I'll figure this out.
1464
01:09:41,209 --> 01:09:42,641
I can't do that, man.
1465
01:09:42,643 --> 01:09:44,776
She said what she said
live on air.
1466
01:09:44,778 --> 01:09:46,678
Once again,
she used the word "stalker."
1467
01:09:46,680 --> 01:09:48,381
That's a big deal
for the network, Eddie.
1468
01:09:48,383 --> 01:09:50,149
We're gonna have to kinda
just try to chill out
1469
01:09:50,151 --> 01:09:52,818
until all the dust settles,
and then we'll act.
1470
01:09:52,820 --> 01:09:55,921
Yeah, all right, we'll just sit
and let it settle, I guess.
1471
01:09:55,923 --> 01:09:57,722
- I'm sorry, Eddie.
- Yeah, all right.
1472
01:09:57,724 --> 01:10:00,025
The Clapper!
1473
01:10:00,027 --> 01:10:01,761
Hey, all right!
1474
01:10:01,763 --> 01:10:04,730
- We love you, Eddie!
- Ha-ha-ha!
1475
01:10:04,732 --> 01:10:07,636
Good stuff, right?
Good stuff!
1476
01:10:14,142 --> 01:10:16,141
Last night,
some stalking allegations
1477
01:10:16,143 --> 01:10:17,178
from Eddie Krumble,
1478
01:10:18,479 --> 01:10:20,014
better known as The Clapper,
from The Jayme Stillerman Show.
1479
01:10:24,951 --> 01:10:26,187
Hey, Marvin.
1480
01:10:27,254 --> 01:10:30,155
♪ Colorful ♪
1481
01:10:30,157 --> 01:10:34,762
♪ I'm in love with you ♪
1482
01:10:37,197 --> 01:10:39,901
♪ Colorful ♪
1483
01:10:40,168 --> 01:10:43,905
♪ Why am I loved by you ♪
1484
01:10:44,338 --> 01:10:49,307
♪ Sending out signals from me ♪
1485
01:10:49,309 --> 01:10:52,177
♪ Sending out signals ♪
1486
01:10:52,179 --> 01:10:54,346
The Clapper's
potential stalker past.
1487
01:10:54,348 --> 01:10:59,118
♪ Sending out signals to you ♪
1488
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:02,157
♪ Sending out signals ♪
1489
01:11:36,758 --> 01:11:40,059
$13 all day.
High speed Hollywood bus tour.
1490
01:11:40,061 --> 01:11:42,127
Hollywood bus tour.
Hollywood bus tour.
1491
01:11:42,129 --> 01:11:45,096
Hey, Hollywood bus tour.
Hollywood bus tour.
1492
01:11:45,098 --> 01:11:47,233
Hollywood bus tour.
Hollywood bus tour.
1493
01:11:47,235 --> 01:11:49,968
$13 all day. Hop on, hop off.
1494
01:11:49,970 --> 01:11:51,971
Hollywood bus tour.
Hollywood bus tour.
1495
01:11:51,973 --> 01:11:54,042
And on tomorrow's
show, the return of The Clapper.
1496
01:11:54,308 --> 01:11:56,378
What's Eddie been up to?
Where's he been?
1497
01:11:56,777 --> 01:11:58,011
Has he found Judy yet?
1498
01:11:58,013 --> 01:12:00,849
All these answers and more
revealed tomorrow night
1499
01:12:01,048 --> 01:12:03,849
right here on
The Jayme Stillerman Show.
1500
01:12:03,851 --> 01:12:06,952
- Ah!
- Maybe it's good exposure.
1501
01:12:06,954 --> 01:12:09,454
No, it's not.
Not in this instance.
1502
01:12:09,456 --> 01:12:12,123
I don't like him going back
and doing those shows again
1503
01:12:12,125 --> 01:12:13,458
with those idiots.
1504
01:12:13,460 --> 01:12:15,394
I wanted him to move on
with his life,
1505
01:12:15,396 --> 01:12:17,195
but not like this, no.
1506
01:12:17,197 --> 01:12:19,965
- But, Ida.
- Last time, do you remember?
1507
01:12:19,967 --> 01:12:21,867
They made a damn fool
out of him.
1508
01:12:21,869 --> 01:12:23,569
He don't wanna answer the phone.
Is that what it is?
1509
01:12:23,571 --> 01:12:26,004
Well, I got news for ya.
We're gonna go out there.
1510
01:12:26,006 --> 01:12:28,009
Pack your bags, Gladys,
we're leaving.
1511
01:12:31,512 --> 01:12:33,011
Oh, there they are.
1512
01:12:33,013 --> 01:12:34,980
Eddie Krumble and Chris Plork.
1513
01:12:34,982 --> 01:12:37,283
Oh, so happy to be
back on the same team.
1514
01:12:37,285 --> 01:12:41,119
What's that old saying?
Tragedy plus time equals...
1515
01:12:41,121 --> 01:12:43,021
I don't know.
Who reads the Bible anymore?
1516
01:12:43,023 --> 01:12:45,824
Come on in, guys.
America missed you guys,
1517
01:12:45,826 --> 01:12:48,127
and we are gonna
spark this baby back up.
1518
01:12:48,129 --> 01:12:50,930
This is Eddie Krumble,
leave a message at the beep.
1519
01:12:50,932 --> 01:12:53,298
Eddie, it's your mother.
1520
01:12:53,300 --> 01:12:56,267
They finally let me
turn my damn phone back on.
1521
01:12:56,269 --> 01:12:57,535
I'm here with Gladys.
1522
01:12:57,537 --> 01:13:00,271
I'm here to talk some sense
into you, you big bozo.
1523
01:13:00,273 --> 01:13:04,445
The world's greatest
audience is in the hizzoua!
1524
01:13:12,853 --> 01:13:15,119
Now, ladies and gentlemen,
it is my utmost pleasure
1525
01:13:15,121 --> 01:13:17,922
to introduce mine
and your old friends,
1526
01:13:17,924 --> 01:13:20,195
Eddie Krumble and Chris Plork.
1527
01:13:29,202 --> 01:13:32,040
Eddie! Chris!
1528
01:13:32,572 --> 01:13:35,376
Hey, look at that,
they missed you.
1529
01:13:36,143 --> 01:13:37,208
Eddie and Chris,
1530
01:13:37,210 --> 01:13:41,180
first of all, it is great
to have you both back.
1531
01:13:41,182 --> 01:13:42,614
I mean, when my producers
reached out,
1532
01:13:42,616 --> 01:13:45,186
we were expecting
a solid no.
1533
01:13:45,353 --> 01:13:46,918
Hmm.
1534
01:13:46,920 --> 01:13:49,421
But why don't we start with,
well, I don't know,
1535
01:13:49,423 --> 01:13:50,588
where it all went wrong?
1536
01:13:50,590 --> 01:13:52,224
- Hmm.
- Yeah.
1537
01:13:52,226 --> 01:13:54,226
You gotta back up pretty far,
I guess, right?
1538
01:13:54,228 --> 01:13:57,128
It was like something
sort of in the beginning.
1539
01:13:57,130 --> 01:13:58,098
Right.
1540
01:13:59,032 --> 01:14:00,932
I mean, there were these,
you know, mis...
1541
01:14:00,934 --> 01:14:03,068
Um, like what,
misunderstandings?
1542
01:14:03,070 --> 01:14:05,104
Communication breakdowns.
1543
01:14:05,106 --> 01:14:07,472
Yeah, exactly.
Communication breakdowns that,
1544
01:14:07,474 --> 01:14:09,041
suffice to say,
were simply that.
1545
01:14:09,043 --> 01:14:12,944
There was no wrongdoing
on either part, you know.
1546
01:14:12,946 --> 01:14:15,215
Actually, I'm just happy
you're back, aren't we?
1547
01:14:17,451 --> 01:14:20,653
So, that's out of the way,
where have you guys been?
1548
01:14:20,655 --> 01:14:24,523
Um, we do, like,
some grand openings sometimes,
1549
01:14:24,525 --> 01:14:26,257
like Ralph's
Supermarkets, we did.
1550
01:14:26,259 --> 01:14:28,560
They did an Internet thing
with us too,
1551
01:14:28,562 --> 01:14:30,532
and we got a...
1552
01:14:31,031 --> 01:14:32,530
Chuck E. Cheese thing too.
1553
01:14:32,532 --> 01:14:35,266
I bet the kids are lining up
to meet you at Chuck E. Cheese.
1554
01:14:35,268 --> 01:14:38,337
- It's mostly for the parents.
- Yeah.
1555
01:14:38,339 --> 01:14:39,506
Thanks for clearing that up.
1556
01:14:40,006 --> 01:14:42,975
Yeah, we shake hands,
take pictures.
1557
01:14:42,977 --> 01:14:46,244
We're like balloons,
but people.
1558
01:14:46,246 --> 01:14:49,013
And people you are.
1559
01:14:49,015 --> 01:14:51,382
Now, Eddie,
1560
01:14:51,384 --> 01:14:54,118
the question
everybody's dying to know is
1561
01:14:54,120 --> 01:14:56,557
what happened
with you and Judy?
1562
01:14:57,058 --> 01:14:59,490
I don't give a damn
about a red light!
1563
01:14:59,492 --> 01:15:01,260
- Mom!
- Is that your mom?
1564
01:15:01,262 --> 01:15:03,962
I am his mom,
and you tell this moron
1565
01:15:03,964 --> 01:15:05,431
if he touches me again,
1566
01:15:05,433 --> 01:15:07,599
he's gonna be spitting teeth
out of his crapper.
1567
01:15:07,601 --> 01:15:09,467
- Mrs. Krumble is here!
- Gladys?
1568
01:15:09,469 --> 01:15:12,037
- Get out of the way.
- Are you nuts? We're on TV.
1569
01:15:12,039 --> 01:15:14,573
I know where we are, Eddie.
Hi, how are ya?
1570
01:15:14,575 --> 01:15:16,041
Ronnie, it's all right,
she's with us.
1571
01:15:16,043 --> 01:15:17,709
Oh, no, I'm not with this.
1572
01:15:17,711 --> 01:15:19,915
You bring my son,
and you put him on this show,
1573
01:15:20,180 --> 01:15:22,213
and you made a damn fool
out of him.
1574
01:15:22,215 --> 01:15:24,115
And all he was doing
was looking for his girl.
1575
01:15:24,117 --> 01:15:27,252
He came back on your show again,
your crummy show!
1576
01:15:27,254 --> 01:15:29,187
- Mrs. Krumble...
- Don't do it now.
1577
01:15:29,189 --> 01:15:32,557
- This is insane. We're on TV.
- I know where we are!
1578
01:15:32,559 --> 01:15:35,293
And he came with good intentions
because he's my son.
1579
01:15:35,295 --> 01:15:37,061
- He's a good boy.
- Absolutely.
1580
01:15:37,063 --> 01:15:39,597
He was trying
to find his girl,
1581
01:15:39,599 --> 01:15:41,100
and then when
there was a problem,
1582
01:15:41,102 --> 01:15:43,037
a controversy,
what did you do?
1583
01:15:43,304 --> 01:15:45,671
You dropped him
like a half-filled rubber.
1584
01:15:45,673 --> 01:15:47,006
- Yeah!
- Mrs. Krumble, please.
1585
01:15:47,008 --> 01:15:48,474
- Damn!
- Please, Mrs. Krumble.
1586
01:15:48,476 --> 01:15:50,175
We love Eddie here.
1587
01:15:50,177 --> 01:15:52,543
We love Eddie! Yeah, yeah!
1588
01:15:52,545 --> 01:15:54,212
Listen to this bullshit.
Shut up!
1589
01:15:54,214 --> 01:15:56,047
We just wanted what was
best for Eddie and Judy.
1590
01:15:56,049 --> 01:15:57,248
Oh, really? Oh, I see.
1591
01:15:57,250 --> 01:15:58,751
You want to know
what's best for my son?
1592
01:15:58,753 --> 01:15:59,886
- Is that what you want to know?
- Absolutely.
1593
01:15:59,888 --> 01:16:02,221
Is that what you're asking me,
what's best for my son?
1594
01:16:02,223 --> 01:16:03,088
Don't do it.
1595
01:16:03,090 --> 01:16:05,125
Let me tell ya
what's best for my son.
1596
01:16:09,229 --> 01:16:10,229
Hey, look at me!
1597
01:16:10,231 --> 01:16:12,500
- No, no. Let me beat the shit...
- Hey, Mom, Mom!
1598
01:16:17,103 --> 01:16:19,238
I want to talk to this man!
1599
01:16:19,240 --> 01:16:21,239
- I have something to say!
- Okay, but calm down!
1600
01:16:21,241 --> 01:16:23,508
This is nuts.
This is completely insane.
1601
01:16:23,510 --> 01:16:25,746
Nuts, nuts, nuts, nuts!
I know this.
1602
01:16:26,546 --> 01:16:29,384
Enough! This is nuts,
This is completely insane.
1603
01:16:29,517 --> 01:16:31,749
You gotta calm down, all right?
We're on TV here.
1604
01:16:31,751 --> 01:16:35,087
This TV stuff, it's too much.
1605
01:16:35,089 --> 01:16:37,359
- This is not for me, all right?
- All right.
1606
01:16:37,625 --> 01:16:40,458
You don't gotta fight my battles
for me, all right?
1607
01:16:40,460 --> 01:16:41,463
I can fight my own battles.
1608
01:16:42,664 --> 01:16:43,462
I was gonna come on here and
give you a piece of my mind.
1609
01:16:43,464 --> 01:16:44,463
I was really gonna
let you have it.
1610
01:16:44,465 --> 01:16:47,132
I was. I was, but I looked
around, you know,
1611
01:16:47,134 --> 01:16:48,734
I probably have my own part
in all of this.
1612
01:16:48,736 --> 01:16:50,269
Okay, now that is sounding
more rational.
1613
01:16:50,271 --> 01:16:52,637
- Oh, shut up.
- Of course. I'm over here.
1614
01:16:52,639 --> 01:16:55,207
Yeah, so no one's
innocent, right?
1615
01:16:55,209 --> 01:16:58,810
No one's innocent,
so we're just gonna go. Mom?
1616
01:16:58,812 --> 01:17:01,547
That's what we're gonna do.
We're gonna go, and that's it.
1617
01:17:01,549 --> 01:17:03,515
Eddie, Eddie, Eddie, wait.
1618
01:17:03,517 --> 01:17:07,252
Eddie, things just got
a little bit away from us.
1619
01:17:07,254 --> 01:17:09,154
- Oh, you think?
- Yes, we do, we do.
1620
01:17:09,156 --> 01:17:10,422
- Yes, I think.
- Oh, really?
1621
01:17:10,424 --> 01:17:13,561
No, it's all right,
Ma, relax, okay?
1622
01:17:13,727 --> 01:17:14,825
They're just doing their thing.
1623
01:17:14,827 --> 01:17:18,332
This is what you do, right?
We all played our parts.
1624
01:17:19,332 --> 01:17:20,402
It just...
1625
01:17:21,134 --> 01:17:22,501
I just lost the only person
1626
01:17:22,503 --> 01:17:26,241
that mattered to this
whole thing, all right?
1627
01:17:27,241 --> 01:17:28,643
And I had someone once.
1628
01:17:29,309 --> 01:17:31,709
- Diana.
- We had this dumb idea.
1629
01:17:31,711 --> 01:17:33,846
We were gonna come out here
and win a boat or something
1630
01:17:33,848 --> 01:17:35,183
on The Price is Right.
1631
01:17:35,348 --> 01:17:37,315
Yeah, but then she
went away, right?
1632
01:17:37,317 --> 01:17:41,854
She died, and I didn't have
a plan to do it without her.
1633
01:17:41,856 --> 01:17:43,191
It was too much.
1634
01:17:43,323 --> 01:17:45,390
But I came out here,
and I met Chris,
1635
01:17:45,392 --> 01:17:48,427
and we got this kinda fun job,
and after a while,
1636
01:17:48,429 --> 01:17:50,561
the sadness just kinda
slowly goes away.
1637
01:17:50,563 --> 01:17:53,567
And you know, it's still there,
but it's further back.
1638
01:17:55,268 --> 01:17:57,269
And then I got to know Judy,
1639
01:17:57,271 --> 01:18:01,205
and suddenly, even corny stuff
like going to the museum
1640
01:18:01,207 --> 01:18:02,874
was kinda fun, I guess,
1641
01:18:02,876 --> 01:18:06,447
and then, before you know it,
I'm like...
1642
01:18:07,380 --> 01:18:09,683
What, are you kidding me?
Like...
1643
01:18:17,924 --> 01:18:20,825
I can't believe I was gonna
be okay without that
1644
01:18:20,827 --> 01:18:22,597
the rest of my life.
1645
01:18:24,298 --> 01:18:28,103
Like, how does that work?
1646
01:18:30,271 --> 01:18:32,236
So you could have done
whatever you wanted with me.
1647
01:18:32,238 --> 01:18:33,872
I would've done anything.
1648
01:18:33,874 --> 01:18:35,477
You could have done
anything you wanted.
1649
01:18:36,242 --> 01:18:38,379
I would've played ball,
whatever.
1650
01:18:39,847 --> 01:18:41,512
I just wanted to find Judy
1651
01:18:41,514 --> 01:18:44,119
and tell her that
I loved her, I guess.
1652
01:18:47,388 --> 01:18:51,455
It is what it is, right?
It's okay. We're here.
1653
01:18:51,457 --> 01:18:53,792
Me and Chris,
we're gonna be fine.
1654
01:18:53,794 --> 01:18:55,697
We're good, we always are.
1655
01:18:56,463 --> 01:18:58,297
Hey, you know,
we got our thing.
1656
01:18:58,299 --> 01:19:00,298
We're gonna be
at the Big A Supermarket
1657
01:19:00,300 --> 01:19:02,868
tomorrow afternoon, right off
Santa Monica Boulevard.
1658
01:19:02,870 --> 01:19:05,770
Come on down and see us, right?
We're gonna be selling...
1659
01:19:05,772 --> 01:19:07,205
What is it, what?
1660
01:19:07,207 --> 01:19:08,407
National Nut Day.
1661
01:19:08,409 --> 01:19:10,612
Right, yeah, National Nut Day.
1662
01:19:11,879 --> 01:19:14,415
- Making a living.
- Making a living.
1663
01:19:18,451 --> 01:19:21,552
Well, the good news is
we're outta that monkey hut.
1664
01:19:21,554 --> 01:19:22,753
Oh, yeah.
1665
01:19:22,755 --> 01:19:25,556
Mrs. Krumble.
Mrs. Krumble, wait.
1666
01:19:25,558 --> 01:19:27,959
- Oh, God, not another one.
- No, no, it's not like that.
1667
01:19:27,961 --> 01:19:31,296
Mrs. Krumble, guys,
we just want you to know...
1668
01:19:31,298 --> 01:19:32,763
What, that you're
gonna give him a dryer
1669
01:19:32,765 --> 01:19:33,931
if he comes back on your show
1670
01:19:33,933 --> 01:19:36,267
and makes a monkey
out of himself?
1671
01:19:36,269 --> 01:19:37,435
That's not a bad comeback.
1672
01:19:37,437 --> 01:19:39,303
Look, if there's
anything we can do.
1673
01:19:39,305 --> 01:19:40,771
No. No, there isn't,
1674
01:19:40,773 --> 01:19:42,975
You've done enough, thank you.
1675
01:19:42,977 --> 01:19:44,711
Eddie, come on.
1676
01:19:46,347 --> 01:19:49,413
Hey, you know, I guess
TV's pretty cool, right?
1677
01:19:49,415 --> 01:19:53,353
As long as the whole world's
not laughing at you.
1678
01:19:55,321 --> 01:19:58,325
Yeah, hey. You know?
1679
01:19:59,326 --> 01:20:01,260
Goodbye, Mr. Stinkman.
1680
01:20:01,262 --> 01:20:02,597
Bye, Chris.
1681
01:20:02,996 --> 01:20:05,864
Hey, big thing
at the supermarket, guys.
1682
01:20:05,866 --> 01:20:08,269
Happy National Nut Day!
1683
01:20:10,603 --> 01:20:13,307
- Happy National Nut Day?
- I'm emotional.
1684
01:20:25,885 --> 01:20:27,852
I'm gonna get
something to drink.
1685
01:20:27,854 --> 01:20:29,256
You want anything?
1686
01:20:46,740 --> 01:20:48,376
It's a little doggie.
1687
01:20:57,785 --> 01:21:00,255
"Saw you guys on TV last night."
1688
01:21:03,956 --> 01:21:05,293
What the...
1689
01:21:13,767 --> 01:21:16,470
Okay, it's, uh...
1690
01:21:16,704 --> 01:21:17,868
There's a pig.
1691
01:21:17,870 --> 01:21:19,439
In the parking lot.
1692
01:21:20,073 --> 01:21:21,940
How's that work, huh?
1693
01:21:21,942 --> 01:21:24,712
- I've seen it all.
- Hey, man, what's going on?
1694
01:21:25,679 --> 01:21:27,548
- Hey!
- Pretty dog.
1695
01:21:32,820 --> 01:21:34,354
Hey, Judy.
1696
01:21:35,121 --> 01:21:36,657
Judy!
1697
01:21:38,692 --> 01:21:40,295
Hi, Chris.
1698
01:21:43,664 --> 01:21:44,797
Hey, uh...
1699
01:21:44,799 --> 01:21:48,903
Before you say anything,
I just want to tell you that...
1700
01:21:50,771 --> 01:21:53,407
I love you, also.
1701
01:21:58,745 --> 01:21:59,913
Come on.
1702
01:22:02,782 --> 01:22:03,817
What?
1703
01:22:04,852 --> 01:22:07,822
I love you, Eddie.
1704
01:22:09,756 --> 01:22:10,857
For real?
1705
01:22:16,028 --> 01:22:17,598
I love you.
1706
01:22:18,598 --> 01:22:20,030
All right, okay.
1707
01:22:20,032 --> 01:22:22,133
Um, I don't know
what to say.
1708
01:22:22,135 --> 01:22:23,638
Okay.
1709
01:22:24,036 --> 01:22:25,505
I love you too.
1710
01:22:26,639 --> 01:22:27,607
I love you too.
1711
01:22:29,108 --> 01:22:30,544
You know that, right?
1712
01:22:30,777 --> 01:22:33,043
Do you know
that I'm nuts about you?
1713
01:22:33,045 --> 01:22:34,414
No.
1714
01:22:35,682 --> 01:22:38,550
I'm crazy about you,
are you kidding me?
1715
01:22:38,552 --> 01:22:41,688
Yeah. I'm National Nut Day
nuts about you.
1716
01:22:44,957 --> 01:22:46,460
Hi, Grady.
1717
01:22:47,059 --> 01:22:48,495
He's got one horn.
1718
01:22:50,496 --> 01:22:52,633
- He's very excited to meet you.
- Apparently.
1719
01:22:55,302 --> 01:22:58,673
I'm so sorry about everything,
I just, I got out of my head.
1720
01:22:59,505 --> 01:23:00,707
Things got out of control,
1721
01:23:01,909 --> 01:23:03,975
and I didn't know how to,
I didn't know how to handle it,
1722
01:23:03,977 --> 01:23:06,043
and I did the wrong thing,
right?
1723
01:23:06,045 --> 01:23:07,511
I'm so sorry.
1724
01:23:07,513 --> 01:23:09,516
But you're here.
You came back.
1725
01:23:09,715 --> 01:23:11,619
I don't know where you went,
but you're back.
1726
01:23:11,985 --> 01:23:14,789
- I came from around the corner.
- That's unbelievable.
1727
01:23:15,955 --> 01:23:17,657
What are the odds?
1728
01:23:18,125 --> 01:23:20,728
What are the odds?
I love you, you love me.
1729
01:23:22,995 --> 01:23:24,598
You know what?
1730
01:23:27,534 --> 01:23:28,803
Let's get married.
1731
01:23:30,771 --> 01:23:31,872
What?
1732
01:23:32,539 --> 01:23:35,105
Let's get married.
Yeah, come on.
1733
01:23:35,107 --> 01:23:36,874
I mean, we love each other.
1734
01:23:36,876 --> 01:23:39,477
Don't think about it too much
because if you give me time,
1735
01:23:39,479 --> 01:23:41,111
I will screw it up,
I promise you.
1736
01:23:41,113 --> 01:23:43,181
- Okay.
- Okay. Wait. Okay?
1737
01:23:43,183 --> 01:23:44,916
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Huh? Wait, what?
1738
01:23:44,918 --> 01:23:46,985
- I mean, will you?
- Yes.
1739
01:23:46,987 --> 01:23:48,019
- Yes?
- Yes.
1740
01:23:48,021 --> 01:23:50,087
All right! Yes?
1741
01:23:50,089 --> 01:23:51,957
- Yes!
- Yes!
1742
01:23:51,959 --> 01:23:53,561
We're getting married!
1743
01:23:53,759 --> 01:23:55,560
Chris, we're getting married!
1744
01:23:55,562 --> 01:23:57,095
Come on! Oh, my God!
1745
01:23:57,097 --> 01:23:58,997
We're getting married!
1746
01:23:58,999 --> 01:24:01,699
Are you kidding me?
1747
01:24:01,701 --> 01:24:05,870
Oh, my God,
you're the best.
1748
01:24:05,872 --> 01:24:07,674
I missed you, Eddie.
1749
01:24:17,584 --> 01:24:20,021
Okay, let's get
some smiles in here.
1750
01:24:20,720 --> 01:24:22,587
Come on, look at the pig.
He'll make you smile.
1751
01:24:22,589 --> 01:24:24,955
Remember, it's a wedding,
not a funeral.
1752
01:24:24,957 --> 01:24:27,894
One, two, three!
Got you!
1753
01:24:29,729 --> 01:24:32,596
♪ Get on, get on, get on ♪
1754
01:24:32,598 --> 01:24:35,600
♪ They say
It's all about the chase ♪
1755
01:24:35,602 --> 01:24:38,569
♪ Get on, get on, get on ♪
1756
01:24:38,571 --> 01:24:41,573
♪ Some things you
Just can't escape ♪
1757
01:24:41,575 --> 01:24:44,208
♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
1758
01:24:44,210 --> 01:24:47,177
♪ When all your life goes by ♪
1759
01:24:47,179 --> 01:24:51,751
♪ Bye, bye, bye, and bye ♪
1760
01:24:55,888 --> 01:24:58,590
♪ I tell you
I won't let you down ♪
1761
01:24:58,592 --> 01:25:01,825
♪ But I think
I might've spoke too soon ♪
1762
01:25:01,827 --> 01:25:04,562
♪ I never said
I could be friends ♪
1763
01:25:04,564 --> 01:25:07,666
♪ With everybody in the room ♪
1764
01:25:07,668 --> 01:25:10,168
♪ Get on, get on, get on ♪
1765
01:25:10,170 --> 01:25:13,305
♪ See the lines on my face ♪
1766
01:25:13,307 --> 01:25:16,041
♪ Come on, come on, come on ♪
1767
01:25:16,043 --> 01:25:19,177
♪ You know the night
Is getting late ♪
1768
01:25:19,179 --> 01:25:22,113
♪ Bye, bye, bye ♪
1769
01:25:22,115 --> 01:25:25,083
♪ When all your life goes by ♪
1770
01:25:25,085 --> 01:25:29,590
♪ Bye, bye, bye, and bye ♪
1771
01:25:30,857 --> 01:25:33,925
♪ Monday
Another whistle blows ♪
1772
01:25:33,927 --> 01:25:36,694
♪ Tuesday
I'm going to a show ♪
1773
01:25:36,696 --> 01:25:39,364
♪ Friday
I'm a working stiff ♪
1774
01:25:39,366 --> 01:25:43,804
♪ You don't know how I live ♪
1775
01:25:48,375 --> 01:25:51,275
♪ Your favorite film
Opened up ♪
1776
01:25:51,277 --> 01:25:54,044
♪ The year that I was born ♪
1777
01:25:54,046 --> 01:25:56,881
♪ I didn't know
What to say to you ♪
1778
01:25:56,883 --> 01:25:59,284
♪ But I knew we'd get along... ♪
1779
01:25:59,286 --> 01:26:00,819
Hi, I'm Billy Blanks.
1780
01:26:00,821 --> 01:26:02,319
- Nice to meet you.
- How can I help you?
1781
01:26:02,321 --> 01:26:03,887
I would like to become fit.
1782
01:26:03,889 --> 01:26:06,958
Your left shoulder.
Left, right, just like that.
1783
01:26:06,960 --> 01:26:07,762
One.
1784
01:26:08,763 --> 01:26:09,727
- Two, three...
- Okay, now hold that squat now.
1785
01:26:09,729 --> 01:26:11,195
What I want you to do is not
move your body
1786
01:26:11,197 --> 01:26:12,297
so much like this.
1787
01:26:12,299 --> 01:26:14,101
Just a little chuckle.
That's a joke.
1788
01:26:14,768 --> 01:26:16,837
♪ When all
Your life goes by... ♪
1789
01:26:17,170 --> 01:26:20,004
So it's a spoon and a fork
on a collapsible plate,
1790
01:26:20,006 --> 01:26:22,007
all in one, and you don't have
to wait for anything ever?
1791
01:26:22,009 --> 01:26:24,943
That's the best invention ever.
And it folds!
1792
01:26:24,945 --> 01:26:28,145
- And it's three-dimensional.
- Yeah.
1793
01:26:28,147 --> 01:26:29,346
Let me get this straight.
1794
01:26:29,348 --> 01:26:30,949
I can eat
anything I want all day,
1795
01:26:30,951 --> 01:26:33,985
take one of these pills,
and I'm good?
1796
01:26:33,987 --> 01:26:35,386
It is so simple.
1797
01:26:35,388 --> 01:26:38,390
It delivers a little grip
without slip.
1798
01:26:38,392 --> 01:26:40,057
Grip with no slip!
1799
01:26:40,059 --> 01:26:41,359
- Go one, count it.
- Two.
1800
01:26:41,361 --> 01:26:43,360
- Go, go.
- Three, four.
1801
01:26:43,362 --> 01:26:46,767
Go.
1802
01:27:06,021 --> 01:27:11,021
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