Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:02,605 --> 00:00:04,772
Thanks for letting me
put Halley in your room.
2
00:00:04,774 --> 00:00:06,107
Yeah, no problem.
3
00:00:06,109 --> 00:00:08,509
Oh, and, Penny, she kinda
threw up on your stuffed bear.
4
00:00:08,511 --> 00:00:09,644
Oh, that's okay.
5
00:00:09,646 --> 00:00:11,846
Hey. Tha-That's an
Ewok and it's mine.
6
00:00:11,848 --> 00:00:14,482
Yeah, which is why
it's okay.
7
00:00:16,152 --> 00:00:18,452
See, he gets Ewoks
in his bed.
8
00:00:18,454 --> 00:00:20,655
You've got Chewbacca;
that's enough.
9
00:00:21,391 --> 00:00:22,690
I used to have
10
00:00:22,692 --> 00:00:24,926
the stuffed raccoon
from Guardians of the Galaxy,
11
00:00:24,928 --> 00:00:27,795
but Cinnamon licked it raw.
12
00:00:29,532 --> 00:00:32,800
There's a time and place
for your randy dog stories,
13
00:00:32,802 --> 00:00:36,204
and... it's never and nowhere.
14
00:00:37,106 --> 00:00:38,506
Yeah, no more stories about sex,
15
00:00:38,508 --> 00:00:40,808
so, Amy, that brings us to you.
16
00:00:40,810 --> 00:00:43,244
Well, at work
we've been doing
17
00:00:43,246 --> 00:00:44,846
some interesting research
with neuroprosthetics.
18
00:00:44,848 --> 00:00:45,880
Neat.
19
00:00:45,882 --> 00:00:47,515
I've been rewatching The O.C.,
20
00:00:47,517 --> 00:00:50,151
so we're all leading
productive lives.
21
00:00:50,153 --> 00:00:53,354
We've been working
on a computer interface
22
00:00:53,356 --> 00:00:56,023
that can use brain wave patterns
to control robotic limbs,
23
00:00:56,025 --> 00:00:57,491
but we're having a little
trouble localizing
24
00:00:57,493 --> 00:00:59,093
the signal from the EEG cap.
25
00:00:59,095 --> 00:01:01,863
Oh, well, have you thought about
adding a phased array of sensors
26
00:01:01,865 --> 00:01:03,164
for better localization?
27
00:01:03,166 --> 00:01:05,800
Actually, that never
occurred to me.
28
00:01:05,802 --> 00:01:07,034
It never occurred to me
29
00:01:07,036 --> 00:01:11,239
I would miss
the Ewok conversation.
30
00:01:11,241 --> 00:01:14,242
Good, 'cause I just bought
another one on Amazon.
31
00:01:15,712 --> 00:01:18,412
You know, I could use
an engineer on this project.
32
00:01:18,414 --> 00:01:19,914
Well, now, this
works out great.
33
00:01:19,916 --> 00:01:21,015
Howard's an engineer.
34
00:01:21,017 --> 00:01:23,951
I'm sure he knows
someone qualified.
35
00:01:23,953 --> 00:01:26,254
She was talking about me,
Sheldon.
36
00:01:26,256 --> 00:01:28,222
I'm perfectly qualified.
37
00:01:28,224 --> 00:01:29,857
Yeah, Howie's the world's
best engineer.
38
00:01:29,859 --> 00:01:32,093
It says so right
on his coffee mug.
39
00:01:33,196 --> 00:01:34,729
Aw, you got him a mug?
40
00:01:34,731 --> 00:01:36,831
I did.
41
00:01:36,833 --> 00:01:39,400
But it's not a competition.
42
00:01:39,402 --> 00:01:42,470
Yeah, I lost that
battle years ago.
43
00:01:43,973 --> 00:01:45,239
So, Howard, are you interested?
44
00:01:45,241 --> 00:01:46,574
Are you kidding?
45
00:01:46,576 --> 00:01:48,743
If I could control robot arms
with my brain,
46
00:01:48,745 --> 00:01:50,678
I'd be able to do
so many things.
47
00:01:50,680 --> 00:01:52,880
Really? Because you've been
controlling human arms
48
00:01:52,882 --> 00:01:55,716
with your brain for years
and not much has come of it.
49
00:01:56,953 --> 00:02:00,588
♪ Our whole universe
was in a hot, dense state ♪
50
00:02:00,590 --> 00:02:03,925
♪ Then nearly 14 billion years
ago expansion started... Wait! ♪
51
00:02:03,927 --> 00:02:05,559
♪ The Earth began to cool ♪
52
00:02:05,561 --> 00:02:08,095
♪ The autotrophs began to drool,
Neanderthals developed tools ♪
53
00:02:08,097 --> 00:02:10,765
♪ We built the Wall ♪
♪ We built the pyramids ♪
54
00:02:10,767 --> 00:02:13,434
♪ Math, Science, History,
unraveling the mystery ♪
55
00:02:13,436 --> 00:02:15,336
♪ That all started
with a big bang ♪
56
00:02:15,338 --> 00:02:15,684
♪ Bang! ♪
57
00:02:15,685 --> 00:02:19,685
♪ The Big Bang Theory 11x05 ♪
The Collaboration Contamination
Original Air Date on October 23, 2017
58
00:02:19,686 --> 00:02:26,586
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
59
00:02:26,621 --> 00:02:28,154
Hey, what you reading?
60
00:02:28,156 --> 00:02:29,489
A parenting book.
61
00:02:29,491 --> 00:02:31,558
Oh, my God.
Are-are we...?
62
00:02:31,560 --> 00:02:33,827
Wha... No!
63
00:02:33,829 --> 00:02:36,896
You think this is how
I would tell you?
64
00:02:37,733 --> 00:02:38,732
Well...
65
00:02:38,734 --> 00:02:40,166
You're sitting there
with a book.
66
00:02:40,168 --> 00:02:43,269
It felt like
anything was possible.
67
00:02:45,874 --> 00:02:47,107
Bernadette left it here.
68
00:02:47,109 --> 00:02:48,108
Yeah?
69
00:02:48,110 --> 00:02:49,976
Anything interesting?
70
00:02:49,978 --> 00:02:51,845
Well, I just saw a picture
of a baby's head crowning,
71
00:02:51,847 --> 00:02:54,547
so I hope you enjoyed sex,
because we're done with that.
72
00:02:56,184 --> 00:02:57,317
Hello.
73
00:02:57,319 --> 00:02:58,885
- Hi.
- Hey, Sheldon, what's up?
74
00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:01,020
Well, remember
how disappointed you were
75
00:03:01,022 --> 00:03:03,056
when Amy started
driving me to work?
76
00:03:03,058 --> 00:03:05,859
Sure, uh...
77
00:03:05,861 --> 00:03:09,796
Sometimes people smile
a big smile of disappointment.
78
00:03:09,798 --> 00:03:11,331
Yeah, well, good news,
79
00:03:11,333 --> 00:03:13,733
Amy had to go in early
to show Howard around her lab,
80
00:03:13,735 --> 00:03:15,435
so you get to drive me.
81
00:03:15,437 --> 00:03:18,304
Aw, his smile of disappointment
82
00:03:18,306 --> 00:03:20,573
has turned into a frown of joy.
83
00:03:21,476 --> 00:03:23,510
It's fine,
I've been driving him for years.
84
00:03:23,512 --> 00:03:24,744
What's one more day?
85
00:03:24,746 --> 00:03:26,246
Oh, and I've got a new car game
we can play.
86
00:03:26,248 --> 00:03:27,814
It's called “what siren am I?”
87
00:03:27,816 --> 00:03:29,215
Kill me.
88
00:03:31,620 --> 00:03:34,020
Amy, your lab is amazing.
89
00:03:34,022 --> 00:03:35,955
A C-arm fluoroscope,
90
00:03:35,957 --> 00:03:38,658
a cranial ultrasound...
91
00:03:39,628 --> 00:03:42,328
And look at that
coffee maker.
92
00:03:42,330 --> 00:03:44,431
I know.
93
00:03:44,433 --> 00:03:46,299
On our expense report,
94
00:03:46,301 --> 00:03:49,969
I listed it as “Eduardo,”
my Colombian lab assistant.
95
00:03:50,739 --> 00:03:53,907
So this is it?
Yes.
96
00:03:53,909 --> 00:03:55,909
We are using it to map
brain wave patterns
97
00:03:55,911 --> 00:03:57,644
and then converting them
into electrical impulses
98
00:03:57,646 --> 00:03:59,078
that can be used
to control anything
99
00:03:59,080 --> 00:04:00,413
from wheelchairs to robots.
100
00:04:00,415 --> 00:04:01,848
Based on that ring
on your finger,
101
00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:04,184
I'd say you're pretty
good at controlling robots.
102
00:04:04,186 --> 00:04:07,253
Careful, that's my fiancé
you're talking about,
103
00:04:07,255 --> 00:04:09,923
and I can program
him to hurt you.
104
00:04:21,336 --> 00:04:24,404
I don't know.
Uh... French police?
105
00:04:24,406 --> 00:04:26,973
Oh. So close.
106
00:04:26,975 --> 00:04:28,541
Belgian ambulance.
107
00:04:30,111 --> 00:04:31,544
All right,
you ready for your next one?
108
00:04:31,546 --> 00:04:33,313
Just a warning,
this one's a little annoying.
109
00:04:34,416 --> 00:04:37,116
Let's take a little...
little break,
110
00:04:37,118 --> 00:04:38,284
I'm getting a headache.
111
00:04:38,286 --> 00:04:42,589
Aw, right in the middle
of our fun game.
112
00:04:42,591 --> 00:04:45,158
Yeah, weird.
113
00:04:45,160 --> 00:04:46,259
So...
114
00:04:46,261 --> 00:04:48,261
Howard and Amy
working together--
115
00:04:48,263 --> 00:04:49,295
that's interesting, huh?
116
00:04:49,297 --> 00:04:51,531
Eh. It's all right,
I suppose.
117
00:04:51,533 --> 00:04:54,267
Uh, when-- usually when Amy
complains about her coworkers,
118
00:04:54,269 --> 00:04:55,435
I just tune her out,
119
00:04:55,437 --> 00:04:58,137
but now I'll be able
to join in and pound away.
120
00:04:59,541 --> 00:05:01,541
You're not jealous
of Howard, are you?
121
00:05:01,543 --> 00:05:03,309
Of course not.
122
00:05:03,311 --> 00:05:05,278
The only engineer
I'm jealous of
123
00:05:05,280 --> 00:05:07,313
is the one who blows
the train whistle.
124
00:05:07,315 --> 00:05:09,148
Ooh, that just gave me
an idea for a new game,
125
00:05:09,150 --> 00:05:12,886
“what whistle am I?”
Train.
126
00:05:14,422 --> 00:05:16,723
For your information,
it was going to be tea kettle,
127
00:05:16,725 --> 00:05:18,758
but the tea kettle
was on a train,
128
00:05:18,760 --> 00:05:21,728
so I'll give it to you.
129
00:05:22,898 --> 00:05:25,832
If we add phase detection
to your EEG sensors,
130
00:05:25,834 --> 00:05:27,367
I'll have to rewrite
most of the code.
131
00:05:27,369 --> 00:05:29,068
Can you do that?
Well, these hands
132
00:05:29,070 --> 00:05:30,637
were made to do three things:
133
00:05:30,639 --> 00:05:32,171
close-up magic, writing code,
134
00:05:32,173 --> 00:05:33,306
and the dirty shadow puppet show
135
00:05:33,308 --> 00:05:35,341
that got me kicked
out of Hebrew school.
136
00:05:36,545 --> 00:05:38,745
Hello.
137
00:05:38,747 --> 00:05:41,314
Hi. What a nice surprise.
138
00:05:41,316 --> 00:05:43,716
Well, I just came by to see how
you two were getting along.
139
00:05:43,718 --> 00:05:45,618
Well, everything's
going really great.
140
00:05:45,620 --> 00:05:47,787
Oh, that's nice to hear.
141
00:05:49,257 --> 00:05:52,025
I was hoping you two
would enjoy working together.
142
00:05:53,228 --> 00:05:54,360
What's with the blinking?
143
00:05:54,362 --> 00:05:57,564
It's Morse code.
144
00:05:58,900 --> 00:06:00,533
So we can talk about...
145
00:06:02,737 --> 00:06:05,772
...without hurting...
's feelings.
146
00:06:07,342 --> 00:06:09,809
Sheldon, I don't know
Morse code.
147
00:06:09,811 --> 00:06:11,578
I do. And if you have
something to say,
148
00:06:11,580 --> 00:06:12,579
you can say it to my face.
149
00:06:12,581 --> 00:06:15,014
Oh. All right.
150
00:06:23,658 --> 00:06:27,594
I'm a little rusty.
Could you say that again?
151
00:06:36,738 --> 00:06:41,007
She's going to be home at
“eight-ish.” Like, when is that?
152
00:06:41,009 --> 00:06:42,208
8:01? 8:02?
153
00:06:42,210 --> 00:06:45,578
And what kind of scientist
uses “-ish”?
154
00:06:45,580 --> 00:06:46,679
I'll give it a go.
155
00:06:46,681 --> 00:06:49,415
My ride home with you
was hellish.
156
00:06:50,652 --> 00:06:52,986
Sheldon, honey, if you want
to join us for dinner,
157
00:06:52,988 --> 00:06:54,253
you're more than welcome.
158
00:06:54,255 --> 00:06:55,421
No, thank you.
I don't think
159
00:06:55,423 --> 00:06:57,090
I'd be very good company
tonight.
160
00:06:57,092 --> 00:06:59,592
Well, then out you go.
161
00:07:00,829 --> 00:07:02,729
Okay, what is going on?
162
00:07:02,731 --> 00:07:04,263
Well, ever since Amy started
working with Howard,
163
00:07:04,265 --> 00:07:05,498
she hasn't been home.
164
00:07:05,500 --> 00:07:08,267
Didn't that
just start this morning?
165
00:07:08,269 --> 00:07:10,436
And has she been home?
166
00:07:11,439 --> 00:07:13,306
You know,
that would frustrate me.
167
00:07:13,308 --> 00:07:15,975
Does it frustrate you?
168
00:07:15,977 --> 00:07:17,210
I-It does.
169
00:07:17,212 --> 00:07:18,311
I get that.
170
00:07:18,313 --> 00:07:20,613
You know, it's okay
to feel frustrated
171
00:07:20,615 --> 00:07:22,215
when things aren't
going your way.
172
00:07:22,217 --> 00:07:24,350
I suppose.
173
00:07:24,352 --> 00:07:26,119
Ah, maybe it's not
that big a deal.
174
00:07:26,121 --> 00:07:27,854
No, no, no,
your feelings
175
00:07:27,856 --> 00:07:28,788
are valid.
176
00:07:28,790 --> 00:07:30,156
Now, why don't
you go wash up,
177
00:07:30,158 --> 00:07:33,126
and we'll call you
when dinner's ready.
178
00:07:36,598 --> 00:07:38,498
Okay.
179
00:07:41,770 --> 00:07:43,970
What did you do--
Are you a witch?
180
00:07:43,972 --> 00:07:46,606
No, I've been reading
Bernadette's parenting book.
181
00:07:46,608 --> 00:07:49,108
It's like the answer key
to the Sheldon test.
182
00:07:51,012 --> 00:07:52,278
That's amazing.
I know.
183
00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:54,547
But, you know,
it's only birth to five.
184
00:07:54,549 --> 00:07:56,916
What do we do when he turns six?
185
00:07:56,918 --> 00:08:00,386
Take him to the zoo
and leave him there.
186
00:08:02,624 --> 00:08:04,590
Hey, Bernadette.
187
00:08:04,592 --> 00:08:05,725
Oh, hey, Raj.
188
00:08:05,727 --> 00:08:07,593
Howard's not here.
Oh, I know,
189
00:08:07,595 --> 00:08:10,163
he's been in the lab every night
this week with his work wife.
190
00:08:10,165 --> 00:08:11,964
That's weird,
191
00:08:11,966 --> 00:08:14,333
I thought his work wife
was standing in my kitchen.
192
00:08:15,603 --> 00:08:16,536
Don't be snippy.
193
00:08:16,538 --> 00:08:18,438
I came to see
how you were doing.
194
00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:20,406
Like, uh, do you need help
with anything?
195
00:08:20,408 --> 00:08:22,308
Oh, thank you.
196
00:08:22,310 --> 00:08:23,876
There are a few things
around the house
197
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:25,244
that I've been waiting
for Howard to get to.
198
00:08:25,246 --> 00:08:26,279
The smoke alarms...
199
00:08:26,281 --> 00:08:28,414
No, I meant emotionally.
200
00:08:28,917 --> 00:08:30,850
How are you feeling?
201
00:08:30,852 --> 00:08:33,786
Like you're not really here
to help me.
202
00:08:35,056 --> 00:08:37,356
Well, still snippy.
203
00:08:37,358 --> 00:08:39,425
Everything's fine.
204
00:08:39,427 --> 00:08:41,327
Howard's really excited
about his work,
205
00:08:41,329 --> 00:08:43,830
he's been in a great mood...
I'm really proud of him.
206
00:08:43,832 --> 00:08:47,033
And I can fit into the pants
I wore in high school.
207
00:08:47,035 --> 00:08:49,602
Come on, we don't need
to lie to each other.
208
00:08:49,604 --> 00:08:51,671
You're right.
209
00:08:51,673 --> 00:08:53,372
I have a teething baby,
I'm pregnant,
210
00:08:53,374 --> 00:08:54,774
I have a proposal due tomorrow.
211
00:08:54,776 --> 00:08:55,875
I don't have time to hear about
212
00:08:55,877 --> 00:08:57,443
how much you're missing
my husband.
213
00:08:57,445 --> 00:09:01,914
Well, I think I know why
he's been working so late.
214
00:09:04,119 --> 00:09:05,752
Hi.
215
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,053
Welcome home.
216
00:09:07,055 --> 00:09:08,221
How was work?
217
00:09:08,223 --> 00:09:10,490
Great.
Howard had an idea for...
218
00:09:10,492 --> 00:09:12,291
That's enough about work.
219
00:09:13,194 --> 00:09:14,694
Aw, you just got here.
220
00:09:14,696 --> 00:09:16,763
You need to sit down
and let me pamper you.
221
00:09:16,765 --> 00:09:19,732
Oh.
Well, that sounds nice.
222
00:09:19,734 --> 00:09:22,902
I got you a little something
to help you relax.
223
00:09:22,904 --> 00:09:25,972
Sheldon, that is the sweetest,
most...
224
00:09:27,976 --> 00:09:29,876
What... what is this?
225
00:09:29,878 --> 00:09:32,411
The notes from our
quantum cognition project.
226
00:09:32,413 --> 00:09:33,613
I thought we could
227
00:09:33,615 --> 00:09:37,483
spend the evening
grinding away on it.
228
00:09:37,485 --> 00:09:40,620
I just got
home, I'm tired.
229
00:09:40,622 --> 00:09:42,622
Of Howard, I know.
230
00:09:42,624 --> 00:09:43,956
So how about you and me
231
00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:47,193
make some beautiful
science together?
232
00:09:48,930 --> 00:09:52,932
Sheldon, I want to work on this
with you, just not tonight.
233
00:09:52,934 --> 00:09:55,635
What if we get up early and do
it in the morning? I promise,
234
00:09:55,637 --> 00:09:58,738
I'll be way more into it.
235
00:09:58,740 --> 00:10:00,039
You know what?
236
00:10:00,041 --> 00:10:01,741
There was a time that
you would've been happy
237
00:10:01,743 --> 00:10:04,076
to stay up and collaborate
all night with me.
238
00:10:04,078 --> 00:10:07,647
And then wake up in the morning
and do it some more.
239
00:10:07,649 --> 00:10:10,249
Fine, but can
we make it quick?
240
00:10:10,251 --> 00:10:11,717
No.
241
00:10:11,719 --> 00:10:13,886
If you're just gonna make me
do all the work, then go to bed.
242
00:10:13,888 --> 00:10:15,755
But don't be surprised
if you walk out here
243
00:10:15,757 --> 00:10:17,390
and catch me doing it myself.
244
00:10:28,426 --> 00:10:31,617
Ahh, Sheldon's texting me
to drive him to Bernadette's.
245
00:10:31,618 --> 00:10:32,817
Well, what are you gonna say?
246
00:10:32,819 --> 00:10:34,852
Well, they did just introduce
the middle finger emoji.
247
00:10:34,854 --> 00:10:37,288
If it's not for this,
I don't know what it's for.
248
00:10:37,290 --> 00:10:39,390
No, no, no.
He'll just think that means
249
00:10:39,392 --> 00:10:41,025
“Be there in a minute.”
250
00:10:41,027 --> 00:10:42,360
Uh...
251
00:10:42,362 --> 00:10:44,729
Maybe there's something
in the book that will help.
252
00:10:44,731 --> 00:10:46,130
Worth a shot.
253
00:10:46,132 --> 00:10:48,466
Okay. Let's see, let's see.
254
00:10:48,468 --> 00:10:50,768
“Biting other children”?
255
00:10:50,770 --> 00:10:54,172
Well, sometimes, but...
problem for another day.
256
00:10:54,703 --> 00:10:56,035
Okay, wait, wait.
Here we go.
257
00:10:56,037 --> 00:10:57,770
“Let him have ownership
of his choices.
258
00:10:57,772 --> 00:11:01,040
Allow him to choose from options
that are acceptable to you.”
259
00:11:01,042 --> 00:11:03,243
All right, I'll give it a try.
260
00:11:03,245 --> 00:11:07,847
“I can drive you in two hours
or you can take an Uber”"
261
00:11:07,849 --> 00:11:10,216
Good. See, now he feels
like he has a choice.
262
00:11:10,218 --> 00:11:11,985
Huh.
263
00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:15,088
He's gonna take an Uber.
264
00:11:15,090 --> 00:11:18,358
Wow, it worked.
265
00:11:18,360 --> 00:11:22,262
Unless he bites
the driver, yeah.
266
00:11:23,431 --> 00:11:25,798
And now they're working
on a Saturday?
267
00:11:25,800 --> 00:11:27,100
Can you believe them?
268
00:11:27,102 --> 00:11:29,102
Like, is this how you
envisioned your weekend?
269
00:11:29,104 --> 00:11:32,205
No, it is not.
270
00:11:32,207 --> 00:11:34,274
This whole thing is maddening.
271
00:11:34,276 --> 00:11:35,942
I'm really busy.
272
00:11:35,944 --> 00:11:38,278
I don't have time to
listen to you complain.
273
00:11:38,280 --> 00:11:40,547
Hey. You're complaining, too.
274
00:11:40,549 --> 00:11:42,015
“Sheldon, why are you here?”
275
00:11:42,017 --> 00:11:46,252
“Sheldon, the applesauce
is for the baby.”
276
00:11:46,254 --> 00:11:47,654
What do you want?
277
00:11:47,656 --> 00:11:51,324
I just wish I could make Howard
feel as angry as I'm feeling.
278
00:11:52,727 --> 00:11:55,662
Well, maybe you could do
something he likes
279
00:11:55,664 --> 00:11:57,196
and make him jealous.
280
00:11:57,198 --> 00:11:58,831
Like what?
281
00:11:58,833 --> 00:12:00,633
Have you ever read Tom Sawyer?
282
00:12:00,635 --> 00:12:01,734
No.
283
00:12:01,736 --> 00:12:04,037
Chores. He likes chores.
284
00:12:05,407 --> 00:12:07,707
Ooh. What kind of chores?
285
00:12:07,709 --> 00:12:08,975
Well,
286
00:12:08,977 --> 00:12:12,011
you could change the batteries
in the smoke detectors.
287
00:12:12,013 --> 00:12:14,714
That would drive him crazy.
288
00:12:14,716 --> 00:12:16,549
That's great.
289
00:12:16,551 --> 00:12:19,352
Oh, he'll be so mad smoke
will be coming out of his ears.
290
00:12:19,354 --> 00:12:22,622
And then the smoke detectors
will detect it.
291
00:12:23,358 --> 00:12:24,457
Wait, wait, now, hold on.
292
00:12:24,459 --> 00:12:26,392
Why'd you ask me
about Tom Sawyer?
293
00:12:26,394 --> 00:12:28,895
I'm just interested in you.
294
00:12:28,897 --> 00:12:33,132
Well, you are sweeter
than your applesauce.
295
00:12:35,904 --> 00:12:37,637
Okay, I'm gonna extend
the wait time and have it poll
296
00:12:37,639 --> 00:12:39,305
the A-to-D converter
at the top of the loop
297
00:12:39,307 --> 00:12:40,406
instead of the bottom.
298
00:12:40,408 --> 00:12:41,774
Oh. That's impressive.
299
00:12:41,776 --> 00:12:44,877
You think that's impressive,
take apart that brain model.
300
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,649
Oh my God-- three of clubs.
301
00:12:49,651 --> 00:12:51,250
That was my card!
302
00:12:51,252 --> 00:12:52,819
How did you...?
303
00:12:53,955 --> 00:12:55,622
I used to make it
appear in my pants,
304
00:12:55,624 --> 00:12:58,524
but HR said I had
to stop doing that.
305
00:13:00,528 --> 00:13:02,695
So, how much longer
till we can test it?
306
00:13:02,697 --> 00:13:05,832
Well, it needs to compile,
so it's gonna be a few minutes.
307
00:13:05,834 --> 00:13:08,735
Sounds like we've earned
ourselves a break.
308
00:13:08,737 --> 00:13:10,937
You want to hear
some Neil Sedaka?
309
00:13:10,939 --> 00:13:13,673
You know, that's your
greatest magic trick,
310
00:13:13,675 --> 00:13:15,908
'cause you just read my mind.
311
00:13:17,345 --> 00:13:21,314
♪ I love, I love,
I love my calendar girl ♪
312
00:13:21,316 --> 00:13:25,284
♪ Yeah, sweet calendar girl ♪
313
00:13:25,286 --> 00:13:29,122
♪ I love, I love,
I love my calendar girl ♪
314
00:13:29,124 --> 00:13:31,457
♪ Each and every day
of the year ♪
315
00:13:31,459 --> 00:13:33,960
♪ January ♪
316
00:13:33,962 --> 00:13:37,630
♪ You start the year all fine... ♪
Well, well, well.
317
00:13:38,700 --> 00:13:40,099
- Hi.
- Hey.
318
00:13:40,101 --> 00:13:43,469
You say you're busy as bees,
yet here you are, dancing.
319
00:13:43,471 --> 00:13:45,772
Although I suppose
bees do dance,
320
00:13:45,774 --> 00:13:48,207
but their dance lets other bees
know where the pollen is,
321
00:13:48,209 --> 00:13:49,509
and yours does not.
322
00:13:49,511 --> 00:13:53,980
So my logic, despite
that slight detour, does track.
323
00:13:54,883 --> 00:13:57,417
We're just waiting
for my code to compile.
324
00:13:57,419 --> 00:13:58,985
What are you doing here?
I stopped by
325
00:13:58,987 --> 00:14:01,220
to see if you wanted
to go to the movies with me.
326
00:14:01,222 --> 00:14:02,822
Well, I-I'd love to,
327
00:14:02,824 --> 00:14:05,358
but we're just about
to test the interface.
328
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:06,426
It could take a while.
329
00:14:06,428 --> 00:14:08,695
Okay, buddy, it--
it's not my place,
330
00:14:08,697 --> 00:14:11,898
but Bernadette's been
feeling a little abandoned
331
00:14:11,900 --> 00:14:13,866
with all the hours that
you've been putting in.
332
00:14:13,868 --> 00:14:16,169
You just asked him
to go to the movies.
333
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:17,770
Yeah, but our weird
relationship was grandfathered
334
00:14:17,772 --> 00:14:21,107
into their marriage,
and yours was not.
335
00:14:23,178 --> 00:14:26,979
Okay, I put new batteries
in the smoke detectors.
336
00:14:26,981 --> 00:14:28,514
Did you do the laundry?
337
00:14:28,516 --> 00:14:29,982
I sure did. Ooh.
338
00:14:29,984 --> 00:14:32,485
He's gonna be steamed.
339
00:14:32,487 --> 00:14:34,754
Just like his dress shirts.
340
00:14:35,690 --> 00:14:37,590
At least he can still
clean the oven,
341
00:14:37,592 --> 00:14:38,825
so that's something.
342
00:14:38,827 --> 00:14:40,626
Oh, that's what he thinks.
Where's your steel wool?
343
00:14:40,628 --> 00:14:42,729
Right here.
344
00:14:42,731 --> 00:14:45,031
We make quite the team.
345
00:14:45,033 --> 00:14:47,200
Sure do.
346
00:14:48,069 --> 00:14:49,969
Guys, you won't believe this.
347
00:14:49,971 --> 00:14:52,939
I stopped by the university
to check in on Howard and Amy,
348
00:14:52,941 --> 00:14:54,373
and they were having fun.
349
00:14:54,375 --> 00:14:56,142
Well, don't worry.
He won't be having any fun
350
00:14:56,144 --> 00:14:57,310
when he gets home.
351
00:14:57,312 --> 00:14:59,112
I did all his favorite chores.
352
00:15:00,181 --> 00:15:01,514
What are you talking about?
353
00:15:01,516 --> 00:15:03,483
Howard hates doing chores.
354
00:15:03,485 --> 00:15:05,651
Wait, then why would Bernadette
tell me that...
355
00:15:05,653 --> 00:15:07,854
Bernadette.
356
00:15:09,758 --> 00:15:11,791
Did you play on my well
established gullibility
357
00:15:11,793 --> 00:15:13,226
to clean your house?
358
00:15:13,228 --> 00:15:15,862
Sure did.
359
00:15:15,864 --> 00:15:18,564
Well, I would storm out of here,
360
00:15:18,566 --> 00:15:20,733
but I already have
the gloves and the steel wool,
361
00:15:20,735 --> 00:15:24,070
and I really do love
cleaning an oven. Move.
362
00:15:25,240 --> 00:15:27,140
She made me do all her chores,
363
00:15:27,142 --> 00:15:29,008
and it wasn't even her
idea-- she stole it
364
00:15:29,010 --> 00:15:31,577
from Tom Sawyer.
365
00:15:31,579 --> 00:15:33,212
You know what? This is crazy.
366
00:15:33,214 --> 00:15:35,882
Howard and Amy are working
together-- get over it.
367
00:15:35,884 --> 00:15:36,916
Leonard, what are you doing?
368
00:15:36,918 --> 00:15:38,084
“Knowing when to say when.”
369
00:15:38,086 --> 00:15:39,418
This is not a big deal.
370
00:15:39,420 --> 00:15:40,853
It is a big deal.
371
00:15:40,855 --> 00:15:43,823
Howard's getting Amy used to
laughing and listening to music.
372
00:15:43,825 --> 00:15:46,592
What if she expects
that madness at home?
373
00:15:46,594 --> 00:15:48,327
Yeah, that is a good point.
I'm really proud of the way
374
00:15:48,329 --> 00:15:49,796
you're able to express
your feelings.
375
00:15:49,798 --> 00:15:50,930
Thank you.
376
00:15:50,932 --> 00:15:52,131
I'm just so angry.
377
00:15:52,133 --> 00:15:53,199
You know,
378
00:15:53,201 --> 00:15:54,534
everyone gets angry.
379
00:15:54,536 --> 00:15:58,237
Even mommies and daddies.
380
00:15:59,641 --> 00:16:01,174
You can't think
this is the right time
381
00:16:01,176 --> 00:16:02,875
to “validate his behavior.”
382
00:16:02,877 --> 00:16:05,278
Okay, what about
“presenting a united front”?
383
00:16:05,280 --> 00:16:07,246
What about you coddling him
and he's never gonna learn?
384
00:16:07,248 --> 00:16:08,548
Look.
385
00:16:08,550 --> 00:16:12,151
You sound frustrated,
and I'm really proud of the way
386
00:16:12,153 --> 00:16:15,221
you're able to state
your opinion.
387
00:16:15,223 --> 00:16:16,956
Thank you.
388
00:16:16,958 --> 00:16:18,624
Wait, no, no.
389
00:16:19,627 --> 00:16:21,394
Don't use that book on me.
390
00:16:21,396 --> 00:16:22,495
W-Wait,
391
00:16:22,497 --> 00:16:23,496
what book?
392
00:16:23,498 --> 00:16:24,664
Penny's been using
393
00:16:24,666 --> 00:16:26,666
one of Bernadette's
parenting books on you.
394
00:16:26,668 --> 00:16:28,367
What? So has he.
395
00:16:28,369 --> 00:16:31,537
Wh-What makes you think
you can treat me like a child?
396
00:16:34,576 --> 00:16:38,611
Your shampoo comes
in a Big Bird bottle.
397
00:16:38,613 --> 00:16:41,147
That's because the adult shampoo
burns my man eyes.
398
00:16:45,186 --> 00:16:47,320
Hey, what are you working on?
399
00:16:47,322 --> 00:16:49,655
Oh, my God, you're still here?
400
00:16:51,860 --> 00:16:52,925
Well, of course I'm here.
401
00:16:52,927 --> 00:16:55,127
I know what
you're going through.
402
00:16:55,129 --> 00:16:58,965
Really? You have a needy
Indian man in your house?
403
00:16:59,968 --> 00:17:02,235
I did,
but then he came over here.
404
00:17:04,105 --> 00:17:06,138
So is this how it's gonna be
if we have kids?
405
00:17:06,140 --> 00:17:07,773
You're just gonna
throw me under the bus?
406
00:17:07,775 --> 00:17:10,042
If you spoil them the way you do
Sheldon, then, yeah.
407
00:17:10,044 --> 00:17:11,344
Uh, my way was working.
408
00:17:11,346 --> 00:17:12,578
Okay? I think you're just upset
409
00:17:12,580 --> 00:17:14,914
because there are some things
I am better than you at.
410
00:17:14,916 --> 00:17:16,616
Well, you can't end a sentence
with a preposition,
411
00:17:16,618 --> 00:17:18,084
so clearly, not grammar.
412
00:17:19,354 --> 00:17:21,621
If you're so smart,
was that a smart thing to say?
413
00:17:21,623 --> 00:17:22,755
That depends. Before I said it,
414
00:17:22,757 --> 00:17:24,223
was sex tonight
still on the table?
415
00:17:24,225 --> 00:17:25,925
No.
Then it's fine.
416
00:17:28,096 --> 00:17:30,563
You know, once we get this
operational,
417
00:17:30,565 --> 00:17:33,165
we could probably figure out
how to make it wireless.
418
00:17:33,167 --> 00:17:35,167
That'd be amazing.
419
00:17:36,371 --> 00:17:38,671
Oh, that's Sheldon.
420
00:17:38,673 --> 00:17:40,773
Oh, he's upset with
Leonard and Penny.
421
00:17:42,310 --> 00:17:43,676
And Bernadette.
422
00:17:45,146 --> 00:17:46,512
And Mark Twain.
423
00:17:49,684 --> 00:17:51,517
Yeah, Bernadette
texted earlier.
424
00:17:51,519 --> 00:17:53,819
Raj is really getting
on her nerves.
425
00:17:53,821 --> 00:17:55,855
Well, I guess we have
been working late a lot.
426
00:17:56,958 --> 00:17:58,791
Should we call it a
night and go home?
427
00:17:58,793 --> 00:18:01,894
Or we could brew a pot
of coffee and power through.
428
00:18:01,896 --> 00:18:04,563
I don't know,
it's getting kind of late.
429
00:18:04,565 --> 00:18:06,732
Hey, where's my watch?
430
00:18:06,734 --> 00:18:07,867
Why don't you ask
431
00:18:07,869 --> 00:18:09,502
your skeleton?
432
00:18:13,841 --> 00:18:15,675
Oh, my God.
433
00:18:15,677 --> 00:18:18,044
How is that even possible?!
434
00:18:26,483 --> 00:18:28,992
This is great,
the two of us hanging out.
435
00:18:28,994 --> 00:18:30,327
Why didn't we think
of this earlier?
436
00:18:30,329 --> 00:18:31,428
Agreed.
437
00:18:31,430 --> 00:18:33,230
I don't need Amy
to watch a movie.
438
00:18:33,232 --> 00:18:36,032
I can not hold your
hand just as easily.
439
00:18:40,772 --> 00:18:45,475
In the book this is based
on, that man's the killer.
440
00:18:49,188 --> 00:18:56,088
== sync, corrected by elderman ==
@elder_man
32398
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