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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:19,687 * 2 00:00:19,720 --> 00:00:22,623 MORGAN: Abbey Road, London. 3 00:00:24,258 --> 00:00:30,531 Five decades ago, four young men made this street famous all around the world and just 4 00:00:31,199 --> 00:00:36,604 a few steps up the street there on June 25, 1967 they performed a song 5 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:41,875 live by satellite to an audience of almost half a billion people. 6 00:00:43,144 --> 00:00:45,879 That song was "All You Need Is Love." 7 00:00:47,415 --> 00:00:49,217 It was the summer of love. 8 00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:53,387 I was working at a little theater in Vermont when I heard it and like so many 9 00:00:53,421 --> 00:00:58,459 young people everywhere, we were swept up by the sense of hope 10 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:04,064 that love was all you needed to end war, poverty and oppression. 11 00:01:06,167 --> 00:01:08,736 It's easy, right? 12 00:01:12,173 --> 00:01:15,243 It seems naïve now. 13 00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:18,779 But stop and think for a minute about how our lives are built around love. 14 00:01:20,848 --> 00:01:23,684 Families and our communities. 15 00:01:24,785 --> 00:01:28,956 Is it really naïve to think that love can change the world? 16 00:01:33,861 --> 00:01:35,929 What happens when we don't have love? 17 00:01:37,097 --> 00:01:39,099 Why these children rocking back and forth? 18 00:01:39,133 --> 00:01:41,702 IZIDOR: Because children were never held as infants. 19 00:01:43,271 --> 00:01:45,839 MORGAN: Why are we willing to suffer for love? 20 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:48,008 Even die for it. 21 00:01:48,108 --> 00:01:51,579 WILL: What happens on those battlefields forges something that truly cannot 22 00:01:51,612 --> 00:01:54,014 be repeated anywhere else. 23 00:01:54,047 --> 00:01:56,417 MORGAN: Should passion be left to fate? 24 00:01:56,450 --> 00:01:59,353 HINA: Is it really meant to just be chance that you meet someone that you're meant to 25 00:01:59,387 --> 00:02:01,689 spend the rest of your life with? 26 00:02:01,722 --> 00:02:03,991 MORGAN: And can love reach everyone? 27 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,295 JOSHUA: It's a way of making someone feel like that there's someone out there who cares. 28 00:02:09,330 --> 00:02:14,302 (theme music plays) 29 00:02:14,335 --> 00:02:19,039 MORGAN: This is my journey to discover the ties that bind us 30 00:02:22,876 --> 00:02:25,846 and the common humanity inside us. 31 00:02:28,182 --> 00:02:31,652 This is The Story of Us. 32 00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:45,533 ** 33 00:02:46,033 --> 00:02:49,703 I'm in Southern California to meet Izidor Ruckel. 34 00:02:51,939 --> 00:02:56,644 Izidor grew up in a Romanian orphanage and didn't experience the love most of us 35 00:02:56,677 --> 00:02:59,947 take for granted, the love of a parent. 36 00:03:03,717 --> 00:03:05,085 You were born in Romania? 37 00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,554 -That is correct. 38 00:03:06,587 --> 00:03:08,589 -But you wound up in an orphanage at an early age? 39 00:03:08,622 --> 00:03:10,658 -I did. 40 00:03:10,691 --> 00:03:15,128 My parents took me to a hospital to be treated for my flu or cold. 41 00:03:16,630 --> 00:03:20,568 The doctor gave me an injection and instead of the needles being sterilized and 42 00:03:20,601 --> 00:03:23,904 disinfected it was used time after time, on children after children. 43 00:03:24,705 --> 00:03:27,708 And I contracted polio. 44 00:03:27,741 --> 00:03:30,611 So my parents said "What on earth did you do to his leg? 45 00:03:30,644 --> 00:03:33,414 His leg is dead, he can't move it any more." 46 00:03:33,447 --> 00:03:36,884 The doctor said "He'd have to stay here for a couple of weeks." 47 00:03:36,917 --> 00:03:39,920 Once my parents left me there they never came back. 48 00:03:41,622 --> 00:03:45,726 At the age of three years old I was put in the hospital for the irrecoverable children and 49 00:03:45,759 --> 00:03:47,661 grew up there until I was 11 years old. 50 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:54,001 MORGAN: In the 24 years that Nicholai Ceausescu ruled Romania many children 51 00:03:54,935 --> 00:03:57,805 shared Izidor's fate. 52 00:03:57,838 --> 00:04:02,810 Ceausescu decreed that every family must have at least five children or pay an 53 00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,313 extreme tax penalty. 54 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:11,051 If you couldn't afford to feed five children, often the only option was 55 00:04:11,084 --> 00:04:14,422 to give some of them to one of Romania's over crowded state orphanages. 56 00:04:19,527 --> 00:04:24,164 So Izi, you spent eight years growing up 57 00:04:26,133 --> 00:04:28,268 in an orphanage. 58 00:04:28,302 --> 00:04:30,404 What was that like? 59 00:04:30,438 --> 00:04:34,141 -There are moments where you wonder am I gonna survive this? 60 00:04:35,876 --> 00:04:37,745 None of us were taken outside. 61 00:04:37,778 --> 00:04:40,348 -No sunlight? -No sunlight. 62 00:04:42,516 --> 00:04:46,687 -Looking around at where we are, playground, the trees, the grass. 63 00:04:47,821 --> 00:04:49,256 -We did not have anything like this. 64 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:51,659 -Nothing close to it? -No. 65 00:04:51,692 --> 00:04:54,862 I wanted to show you this video, so you could actually see it for yourself what my 66 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:57,798 life in the institution was in Romania. 67 00:05:04,805 --> 00:05:07,908 -I mean even the building from the outside looks intimidating. 68 00:05:09,176 --> 00:05:12,713 -When you walk into the building you smell nothing but soaked urine and feces. 69 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:21,321 -Oh my goodness gracious. 70 00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:24,992 About how many kids can you think lived in that orphanage? 71 00:05:25,859 --> 00:05:27,528 -It would be about 400, 500 children. 72 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:30,398 -400 or 500 children and not nearly enough people to look after them. 73 00:05:30,431 --> 00:05:32,666 -No. 74 00:05:38,171 --> 00:05:41,041 -Why are these children rocking back and forth? 75 00:05:41,074 --> 00:05:47,180 -Because children were never held as infants and they were developing ways to nurture 76 00:05:48,749 --> 00:05:51,852 themselves and rocking back and forth was one of the ways. 77 00:05:51,885 --> 00:05:53,821 -You experienced this? 78 00:05:53,854 --> 00:05:55,889 -I experienced it, I used to rock back and forth for a long time and 79 00:05:55,923 --> 00:05:58,025 I grew out of that eventually. 80 00:05:59,026 --> 00:06:01,729 -Who is that kid? -That was me. 81 00:06:02,730 --> 00:06:04,865 That was me in 1990. 82 00:06:04,898 --> 00:06:07,501 I had more opportunity than others. 83 00:06:07,535 --> 00:06:11,572 I had a worker named Onesha and I actually still have her picture. 84 00:06:12,773 --> 00:06:16,410 And um, I will never forget this woman, she was one of the most amazing workers 85 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:20,247 that worked there. 86 00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:22,916 Onesha took me home for one night. 87 00:06:22,950 --> 00:06:25,453 I forgot about the institution. 88 00:06:25,486 --> 00:06:29,122 My experience at home was the greatest gift. 89 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:33,461 She cared for me like I was her son, from that moment on. 90 00:06:33,494 --> 00:06:35,262 Other workers saw my potential. 91 00:06:35,295 --> 00:06:37,798 OK, I wanna take him home too. 92 00:06:37,831 --> 00:06:41,401 And from there it just gradually grew till I went home with almost the entire 93 00:06:41,435 --> 00:06:43,804 staff that worked there. 94 00:06:43,837 --> 00:06:48,341 It's because of them that I learned how to love, how to have compassion, how to care, 95 00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,478 how to have sympathy. 96 00:06:50,511 --> 00:06:52,112 I mean I had never done that before. 97 00:06:52,145 --> 00:06:54,047 I never could have hugged someone. 98 00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,049 -Did you see this happen for any other kids? 99 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:57,985 -No. 100 00:06:58,018 --> 00:07:01,655 I was very fortunate and lucky and because of their love I believe I was able to 101 00:07:01,689 --> 00:07:04,291 grow and develop a lot better than others. 102 00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:07,795 -So how did you get out of this orphanage? 103 00:07:07,828 --> 00:07:10,664 -These workers called out my name and another boys name, Ciprian. 104 00:07:12,165 --> 00:07:14,768 Izidor and Ciprian, come here. 105 00:07:14,802 --> 00:07:16,937 You're going to America. 106 00:07:16,970 --> 00:07:18,138 -Just like that? 107 00:07:18,171 --> 00:07:21,842 -Just like that and we were shocked. 108 00:07:21,875 --> 00:07:25,713 So they put us in a nurses office and I asked who's gonna be my Mom? 109 00:07:27,481 --> 00:07:30,584 And Marlys said "I'm gonna be your Mom" and I said then that's what I 110 00:07:30,618 --> 00:07:32,285 want my Mom to be. 111 00:07:32,319 --> 00:07:33,687 -So your parents are here? 112 00:07:33,721 --> 00:07:36,056 -Yes, Mom and Dad, come right in. 113 00:07:38,726 --> 00:07:42,395 -Good morning, Danny. -Good morning. -I am Marlys. 114 00:07:43,130 --> 00:07:45,298 -How do you do? 115 00:07:45,332 --> 00:07:49,469 You've got your own kids, you've got three lovely children that you're 116 00:07:49,503 --> 00:07:51,204 gonna bring this... 117 00:07:52,205 --> 00:07:53,641 -Mutt. 118 00:07:53,674 --> 00:07:55,709 -Mutt into... 119 00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:57,878 -All five of us really wanted him. 120 00:07:57,911 --> 00:07:59,312 I thought he was the most charming thing. 121 00:07:59,346 --> 00:08:00,313 -Pretty much hooked? 122 00:08:00,347 --> 00:08:03,416 -Yes. -Okay. 123 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:08,556 At first life in America was new and exciting for Izidor. 124 00:08:11,358 --> 00:08:17,565 He went to school, played sports and experienced something he'd never had before, 125 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:21,535 a family that loved him. 126 00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:24,404 But then things start to go wrong? 127 00:08:24,437 --> 00:08:25,873 They start to go bad? 128 00:08:25,906 --> 00:08:28,909 -I wasn't used to the family. 129 00:08:28,942 --> 00:08:30,844 I didn't care for them. 130 00:08:30,878 --> 00:08:33,881 They were not my family and they were nothing, I hated them. 131 00:08:36,349 --> 00:08:40,253 All the bitterness I held it in and when I exploded I took it out on them because they 132 00:08:40,287 --> 00:08:42,756 were the closest to me. 133 00:08:42,790 --> 00:08:46,059 There are times where I was so out of hand the police had to come over. 134 00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:50,030 -Did you have any clue why? 135 00:08:50,063 --> 00:08:51,899 -I don't know, it didn't make sense to me. 136 00:08:51,932 --> 00:08:53,567 I mean, I couldn't understand it. 137 00:08:53,601 --> 00:08:58,005 -I think there were just some attachment issues as a result of, you know, 138 00:08:58,038 --> 00:09:01,642 growing up without, you know, someone cuddling him and hugging him and loving on him. 139 00:09:03,611 --> 00:09:06,313 -When a child grows and develops they need to be nurtured, cared and loved. 140 00:09:07,480 --> 00:09:10,317 Without it they are mentally affected. 141 00:09:11,785 --> 00:09:15,388 MORGAN: By the time Izidor turned 16 his rejection of his adoptive family 142 00:09:15,422 --> 00:09:17,958 reached a boiling point. 143 00:09:17,991 --> 00:09:21,228 He moved out of the house, severed all ties with them. 144 00:09:23,163 --> 00:09:27,735 But then when he was 18, he learned that Marlys and his adoptive sisters were 145 00:09:28,401 --> 00:09:31,304 in a serious car accident. 146 00:09:37,010 --> 00:09:40,848 -I was so devastated and I was very scared that I was gonna lose them. 147 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,085 I had done so much damage in the family that I didn't think I was gonna be 148 00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:47,988 accepted or even talked to. 149 00:09:50,758 --> 00:09:54,795 They opened the door and I apologized from then. 150 00:09:55,462 --> 00:09:59,332 -I remember, still to this day, he told us that he loved us. 151 00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:05,005 And I'm not sure that we'd ever heard that. 152 00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:09,076 -But that was a turn around for him. 153 00:10:09,109 --> 00:10:13,013 -The beginning. -I wasn't willing to give up. 154 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,415 He's my son. 155 00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,651 Whether he's my flesh and blood didn't matter. 156 00:10:17,685 --> 00:10:20,053 I refused to give up. 157 00:10:20,688 --> 00:10:23,523 -Once that I saw that they were able to forgive me, at that moment I made 158 00:10:23,556 --> 00:10:25,759 like a covenant with myself. 159 00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,461 I did not want to lose them again. 160 00:10:28,495 --> 00:10:30,864 -Right, so now what? 161 00:10:30,898 --> 00:10:32,766 -We're still doing the same thing. 162 00:10:32,800 --> 00:10:35,102 We have five more children, we've adopted them. 163 00:10:35,135 --> 00:10:37,070 -Gluttons for punishment huh? 164 00:10:39,807 --> 00:10:41,709 And you, what are you doing? 165 00:10:41,742 --> 00:10:45,378 -I'm advocating for several things because I definitely don't wanna see children, 166 00:10:45,412 --> 00:10:49,316 not only in Romania, but anywhere in the world, to endure what we endured. 167 00:10:51,184 --> 00:10:53,821 I think that the greatest gift of all was being adopted and be able to 168 00:10:53,854 --> 00:10:55,222 have the best family. 169 00:10:55,255 --> 00:10:56,623 I have to admit that. 170 00:10:56,656 --> 00:10:57,825 I do realize that. 171 00:10:57,858 --> 00:10:59,159 It took me a while, but... 172 00:10:59,192 --> 00:11:01,394 -Now you do. 173 00:11:06,599 --> 00:11:09,436 When I was a little boy I had all this. 174 00:11:10,904 --> 00:11:14,374 Trees, grass, sound of birds. 175 00:11:15,442 --> 00:11:18,211 I had a loving family. 176 00:11:18,245 --> 00:11:24,217 It is heartbreaking to learn what Izidor and so many young Romanian children had 177 00:11:24,551 --> 00:11:27,687 to live through. 178 00:11:27,721 --> 00:11:30,157 Izidor himself was lucky. 179 00:11:30,190 --> 00:11:33,693 He had his nursemaids and his adoptive parents. 180 00:11:35,295 --> 00:11:40,868 Now he dedicates himself to helping other orphans, securing for them 181 00:11:42,770 --> 00:11:48,108 something that was as vital to their wellbeing as food and shelter, love. 182 00:11:51,278 --> 00:11:54,848 All of us need to receive love. 183 00:11:54,882 --> 00:11:58,251 But giving love often requires sacrifice. 184 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:02,255 Many parents stop putting themselves first. 185 00:12:02,289 --> 00:12:07,260 They sacrifice their careers, work second jobs or give up their social lives to 186 00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:09,963 care for their children. 187 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:15,368 In some cases the sacrifices we make for love cause physical pain and leave 188 00:12:15,402 --> 00:12:17,237 lasting scars. 189 00:12:24,311 --> 00:12:27,080 I'm traveling to a remote region of Southern Ethiopia to visit a 190 00:12:27,114 --> 00:12:29,516 village of the Hamar Tribe. 191 00:12:30,517 --> 00:12:32,786 Anthropologist Dr. Samuel Tefera, 192 00:12:32,820 --> 00:12:34,988 who has lived with the Hamar, 193 00:12:35,022 --> 00:12:38,926 tells me they will be happy to show me the pain they endure for love. 194 00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,765 Is this an village, tell me how old is it? 195 00:12:45,799 --> 00:12:48,035 DR TEFERA: It has been here for two, three, four centuries. 196 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:50,838 -So they're pastoral? 197 00:12:50,871 --> 00:12:54,674 -Yes, they have goats, they have cows, they have sheep. 198 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,545 -Cause I was gonna ask if I could get eggs Benedict here, but I guess not huh? 199 00:12:58,846 --> 00:13:01,048 -Yeah, no. -Okay. 200 00:13:04,351 --> 00:13:08,655 The Hamar in this village are all members of an extended family. 201 00:13:09,857 --> 00:13:13,894 Those tight family bonds are vital to their survival in this dry and rugged land. 202 00:13:17,197 --> 00:13:20,834 I hear this sort of joyous sound going on. 203 00:13:20,868 --> 00:13:23,136 -We are about to witness an age-old ceremony. 204 00:13:23,170 --> 00:13:25,772 Men of the Hamar jump over the bulls. 205 00:13:25,805 --> 00:13:28,141 It's a right of transition from a childhood through adulthood. 206 00:13:28,408 --> 00:13:29,709 -Oh, ok. 207 00:13:29,742 --> 00:13:32,145 -And then that makes them eligible to marry. 208 00:13:32,179 --> 00:13:33,713 -That makes them eligible to marry? 209 00:13:33,746 --> 00:13:35,482 -Yeah. 210 00:13:36,249 --> 00:13:38,385 MORGAN: The Hamar have invited us to witness their 211 00:13:38,418 --> 00:13:41,154 traditional bull jumping ceremony. 212 00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:44,992 Samuel tells me most of the days events aren't focused on the young man who's 213 00:13:45,025 --> 00:13:47,560 coming of age, but on his female relatives. 214 00:14:02,842 --> 00:14:06,479 MORGAN: A crucial part of the ceremony is the display of love the women make 215 00:14:06,513 --> 00:14:08,048 for the young boy. 216 00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:16,823 This is abuse. 217 00:14:16,856 --> 00:14:18,225 (whip cracking) 218 00:14:30,403 --> 00:14:33,206 MORGAN: The Hamar people have been holding coming of age ceremonies for 219 00:14:33,240 --> 00:14:35,976 young men, here on the banks of the Omo River, for hundreds of years. 220 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:41,481 A central part of the event is his female relatives being whipped. 221 00:14:43,316 --> 00:14:46,286 I've heard of other painful ritual practices often directed against women, 222 00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:50,823 but something about this seems different. 223 00:15:05,105 --> 00:15:07,340 -They choose? -They choose to do it yeah. 224 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:15,515 -Hard for me to fathom because I don't understand why the woman wants to get whipped. 225 00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:41,608 MORGAN: Samuel explains that these women know the boys who are coming of age will make 226 00:15:41,641 --> 00:15:45,545 sacrifices and face dangers herding cattle in Ethiopia's rugged landscape. 227 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:51,018 Being whipped is their way of declaring that they are willing to endure 228 00:15:51,051 --> 00:15:52,819 hardship as well. 229 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:57,090 But this is all so shocking, 230 00:15:57,124 --> 00:16:00,727 that I want to ask the women directly why they are doing this. 231 00:16:05,065 --> 00:16:10,137 I've been watching for a good while and I see women getting whipped. 232 00:16:12,005 --> 00:16:15,542 It seems painful and cruel. 233 00:16:16,476 --> 00:16:18,211 Why do you do it? 234 00:16:27,487 --> 00:16:29,156 (speaking in native language). 235 00:16:30,390 --> 00:16:32,825 -For them to feel like it's jumping they have to be whipped. 236 00:16:32,859 --> 00:16:34,127 -OK. 237 00:16:34,161 --> 00:16:36,696 -And they cannot separate the two. 238 00:16:36,729 --> 00:16:40,233 MORGAN: Fresh cuts laid down on top of old scars serve as proof of the 239 00:16:40,267 --> 00:16:42,502 women's love for the bull jumper. 240 00:16:43,370 --> 00:16:45,772 It's time now for him to show his bravery. 241 00:16:47,407 --> 00:16:49,842 -These are the cattle. -These are the cattle. 242 00:16:50,677 --> 00:16:53,713 -And a young man is gonna come and they will jump over a bunch of them? 243 00:16:54,047 --> 00:16:55,648 -Yeah he's going to jump. 244 00:16:55,682 --> 00:16:56,816 Very young. 245 00:16:56,849 --> 00:16:57,884 -Yeah very young. 246 00:17:04,391 --> 00:17:05,958 -OK, so they don't move? 247 00:17:25,912 --> 00:17:27,414 -What happens if he falls? 248 00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:33,920 MORGAN: The young men must run over the cattle at least four times to complete his 249 00:17:33,953 --> 00:17:36,889 transition to adulthood. 250 00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:42,629 The more runs he makes, the more of a man he is in the eyes of his extended family. 251 00:17:45,098 --> 00:17:46,666 -This is number four. 252 00:17:53,340 --> 00:17:57,244 -Yeah, he's coming back for number five. 253 00:18:08,488 --> 00:18:10,757 -Now he has become a big man. 254 00:18:15,528 --> 00:18:17,430 -How many cows could you jump over? 255 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:20,933 -I probably could make it over one, maybe. 256 00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:30,009 The strength of the Hamar women is remarkable. 257 00:18:31,611 --> 00:18:36,483 They manage to take something painful and turn it into something that empowers them. 258 00:18:37,350 --> 00:18:41,788 The scars that they carry are like a signature on a contract that says, 259 00:18:41,821 --> 00:18:44,724 "We are bound by love." 260 00:18:46,859 --> 00:18:51,831 Strikes me that human society may not have made it without this kind of love between 261 00:18:53,900 --> 00:18:56,503 siblings and parent and child. 262 00:18:58,371 --> 00:19:01,308 It's the basic glue that holds humankind together. 263 00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:08,215 The bonds of the family are cemented by this form of sacrificial love, 264 00:19:09,716 --> 00:19:12,552 but they are also built on another type of love. 265 00:19:13,886 --> 00:19:16,489 The passion that strikes two people. 266 00:19:19,226 --> 00:19:24,564 Antony and Cleopatra, Tristan and Isolde, Romeo and Juliet. 267 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:30,670 These romantic tales are the epitome of how we view love. 268 00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:38,044 To paraphrase William Shakespeare, 'Love is a fire, sparkling in lovers eyes.' 269 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:43,883 But I wonder if romantic love alone is enough to sustain a marriage? 270 00:19:46,919 --> 00:19:50,757 Only recently, and mostly only in developed countries, 271 00:19:50,790 --> 00:19:54,694 has marriage based on passionate love between strangers replaced marriages 272 00:19:55,762 --> 00:19:58,365 arranged by families as the norm. 273 00:20:06,639 --> 00:20:11,611 I'm on my way to Hertfordshire, England to meet lawyer Hina Belitz whose 274 00:20:11,644 --> 00:20:16,148 Pakistani heritage presented her with the choice between both forms of marriage. 275 00:20:16,883 --> 00:20:18,050 How do you do? 276 00:20:18,084 --> 00:20:19,252 HINA: Very well, thank you. 277 00:20:19,286 --> 00:20:21,588 Come on, come, come on in. 278 00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:25,592 -Tell me about your family background? 279 00:20:25,625 --> 00:20:29,796 -Well, I was brought up in Andover in Hampshire, although I was actually born in Pakistan. 280 00:20:30,997 --> 00:20:32,865 -So you grew up here in the UK? 281 00:20:32,899 --> 00:20:34,367 -Yes. 282 00:20:34,401 --> 00:20:37,470 It was completely all white, all English. 283 00:20:37,504 --> 00:20:41,574 And so we grew up secluded from anyone of a similar cultural background to us. 284 00:20:42,475 --> 00:20:43,610 -What about schooling? 285 00:20:43,643 --> 00:20:45,144 Did you go to college? 286 00:20:45,177 --> 00:20:47,814 -I did and I met someone at university. 287 00:20:47,847 --> 00:20:48,981 -Were you married? 288 00:20:49,015 --> 00:20:50,817 -Yes. 289 00:20:50,850 --> 00:20:53,386 It was what you would conventionally call a love marriage. 290 00:20:53,420 --> 00:20:55,655 It was all very idyllic for a short while. 291 00:20:55,688 --> 00:20:59,826 -How short? -A year. -Yeah that's a shorty. 292 00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:04,464 -Yeah I discovered that actually he'd been unfaithful. 293 00:21:05,332 --> 00:21:07,400 -OK, so that means divorce? 294 00:21:07,434 --> 00:21:09,302 -It did, yes. 295 00:21:09,336 --> 00:21:14,541 So I threw myself into my career and I worked very hard and became 296 00:21:15,308 --> 00:21:17,377 a successful attorney. 297 00:21:18,711 --> 00:21:22,782 -Life in the city, as a single girl, was actually quite a lonely experience. 298 00:21:24,451 --> 00:21:27,920 Even though I had so many friends I knew that there was something hollow and 299 00:21:27,954 --> 00:21:30,390 empty and missing in my life. 300 00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:34,627 And it wasn't very easy for me with the experience that I had been through to 301 00:21:34,661 --> 00:21:36,729 easily just trust another. 302 00:21:38,998 --> 00:21:43,002 And I had a sort of instinct that I knew I wouldn't find it just by bumping into someone 303 00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:45,605 in the local supermarket. 304 00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:48,174 -You had to have made some sort of change. 305 00:21:48,908 --> 00:21:51,177 -I think that's absolutely right. 306 00:21:53,145 --> 00:21:56,549 MORGAN: After a failed first marriage, Hina felt the urge to get reacquainted with her 307 00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:58,317 Pakistani routes. 308 00:21:59,652 --> 00:22:02,121 -I then had a very good job opportunity arise. 309 00:22:02,154 --> 00:22:06,393 So I took that opportunity to take a break between jobs and take some proper time out. 310 00:22:09,496 --> 00:22:12,899 So I decided to go to Pakistan and meet my Grandmother. 311 00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:19,038 After a few days of arriving, I noticed that when we went out to a restaurant that a 312 00:22:19,071 --> 00:22:23,976 strange man would appear and just be shuffled over to sit next to me. 313 00:22:24,010 --> 00:22:28,748 And at first I was unsure as to what the reason was and then my Grandmother would sort 314 00:22:28,781 --> 00:22:31,784 of come over and nudge me afterwards and say "What did you think of him?" 315 00:22:32,619 --> 00:22:37,624 and I'm like "Oh it'd be nice if he could actually string a sentence together." 316 00:22:38,925 --> 00:22:43,396 But, then the penny dropped quite quickly that my family were effectively trying to 317 00:22:43,430 --> 00:22:48,067 introduce me to a possible suitable match, an arranged marriage. 318 00:22:49,769 --> 00:22:53,072 -What was your thinking about the idea of arranged marriages? 319 00:22:54,441 --> 00:22:56,909 -Well it was strange. 320 00:22:56,943 --> 00:23:00,413 I felt very much that I was a Western woman, that had been brought up 321 00:23:00,447 --> 00:23:03,082 in the UK and this was all just not for me. 322 00:23:03,115 --> 00:23:04,283 This is not something... 323 00:23:04,316 --> 00:23:05,718 -Kind of foreign? 324 00:23:05,752 --> 00:23:08,688 -Yes it's foreign, it's a bit backward. 325 00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:11,123 Why would I think about marrying someone in this way? 326 00:23:12,291 --> 00:23:16,062 But that's OK, I'll humor you all for a bit, I'll sort of go along with it. 327 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:20,633 -How many persons do you think your Grandmother paraded before you? 328 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,304 -There were about four or five as I recall. 329 00:23:27,173 --> 00:23:30,409 And then just as we were about to leave, it was probably the day before 330 00:23:30,443 --> 00:23:33,145 there was another chap. 331 00:23:34,747 --> 00:23:40,252 And he was very different, extremely charming, had a wonderful smile, good looking. 332 00:23:41,921 --> 00:23:45,224 I noticed from across the room, my Grandmother looking at me. 333 00:23:45,257 --> 00:23:49,328 She had these long, slim, dark eyes and she was looking at me then looking at him like this. 334 00:23:50,930 --> 00:23:56,435 But what happened was I flew back to the UK and literally a day after 335 00:23:56,469 --> 00:23:58,137 I arrived my Mother got a 336 00:23:58,170 --> 00:24:02,174 phone call from my Grandmother who said "I'd like to propose a match, 337 00:24:02,208 --> 00:24:06,412 a marriage match between Kameron and Hina. 338 00:24:06,445 --> 00:24:08,948 Can you ask her if that's something that she would be interested 339 00:24:08,981 --> 00:24:11,984 in proceeding with?" 340 00:24:12,018 --> 00:24:15,655 On the one hand I thought dive in, jump off the cliff and have a go. 341 00:24:16,455 --> 00:24:19,258 On the other hand I was thinking what's gone wrong with you 342 00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:20,960 that you're considering this? 343 00:24:20,993 --> 00:24:25,498 So there was conflict in my own mind because of course, I'd only met Kam 344 00:24:25,532 --> 00:24:28,267 for about half an hour to an hour. 345 00:24:28,300 --> 00:24:30,670 -Then what? 346 00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:34,306 -Well I think I had a bit of an Epiphany when I was out there because I realized it 347 00:24:34,340 --> 00:24:38,244 may be culturally different to something that I had been brought up around, 348 00:24:39,546 --> 00:24:41,948 but maybe it wasn't a bad thing. 349 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:44,917 Maybe there was something that it had to offer. 350 00:24:46,218 --> 00:24:48,487 I actually said yes I would like to proceed. 351 00:24:48,521 --> 00:24:52,358 And I was thinking you're crazy. 352 00:24:58,164 --> 00:25:02,068 MORGAN: Hina Belitz agreed to marry a man whom she had only met once, for half an hour. 353 00:25:02,735 --> 00:25:04,103 -Yeah. 354 00:25:06,005 --> 00:25:08,007 MORGAN: Who lived more than 4000 miles away from her home outside London. 355 00:25:09,742 --> 00:25:14,647 She chose to trust the opinion of her Pakistani family, rather than simply rely on the 356 00:25:14,681 --> 00:25:16,716 spark of passion. 357 00:25:18,417 --> 00:25:22,421 -It was virtually no time at all that we were married, over the telephone, 358 00:25:23,623 --> 00:25:26,092 via a telephone Nikah ceremony. 359 00:25:26,125 --> 00:25:30,763 A Nikah ceremony is a wedding ceremony which is like the actual wedding, 360 00:25:31,564 --> 00:25:33,700 since it's sort of at the point of commitment. 361 00:25:33,733 --> 00:25:36,502 -So you're on a telephone... -On a telephone. -He's in Pakistan? 362 00:25:36,535 --> 00:25:39,505 -Yes. -And you're here in the UK? -That's right. 363 00:25:39,538 --> 00:25:42,341 -And you're married now? -We're technically married. 364 00:25:42,374 --> 00:25:45,912 But, afterwards I went for a proper full ceremony in Pakistan. 365 00:25:57,056 --> 00:25:59,726 -It worked out wonderfully. 366 00:26:01,293 --> 00:26:04,797 I can honestly say I believe I've found my soul mate. 367 00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:07,033 Would you like to meet him? 368 00:26:07,066 --> 00:26:08,400 -Yeah of course. 369 00:26:08,434 --> 00:26:09,602 Hello Kameron. 370 00:26:09,636 --> 00:26:11,738 -Hi Morgan, nice to meet you. 371 00:26:11,771 --> 00:26:14,707 -How are you? -I'm fine. 372 00:26:14,741 --> 00:26:17,409 -So did you know you were being set up? 373 00:26:17,443 --> 00:26:20,112 -No, not at all. 374 00:26:20,146 --> 00:26:23,582 My Father, he said "Kameron what do you think about the girl you saw?" 375 00:26:24,917 --> 00:26:27,153 and I said "Wow" 376 00:26:28,254 --> 00:26:31,257 (laughter) 377 00:26:31,290 --> 00:26:34,827 and I said I wish that she'll be my wife. 378 00:26:34,861 --> 00:26:37,329 -So how long have you been together? 379 00:26:37,363 --> 00:26:40,833 -15 years. -15 years. -Yeah. 380 00:26:42,034 --> 00:26:44,270 We have an eight and a ten year old now. 381 00:26:44,303 --> 00:26:46,806 Two beautiful sons. 382 00:26:46,839 --> 00:26:51,778 -So maybe it's a good thing to have a family involved in such a momentous decision? 383 00:26:53,545 --> 00:26:56,015 -I think you're right. 384 00:26:56,048 --> 00:26:59,852 I think part of the reason why there are so many website dating applications is because 385 00:26:59,886 --> 00:27:03,022 there isn't an easy access to people. 386 00:27:03,055 --> 00:27:06,959 Is it really meant to just be chance that you meet someone, that you're meant to spend the 387 00:27:06,993 --> 00:27:08,661 rest of your life with? 388 00:27:08,695 --> 00:27:12,464 Do we really want to leave that purely to a chance meeting at a party? 389 00:27:13,165 --> 00:27:17,569 -In Pakistan you always see arranged marriages and they last long. 390 00:27:18,871 --> 00:27:21,874 They're a blessing from parents. 391 00:27:22,641 --> 00:27:26,378 -I had a lot more confidence and trust because I knew that my family was involved and so 392 00:27:26,412 --> 00:27:28,881 there was a lot more comfort that I had. 393 00:27:29,515 --> 00:27:31,617 -OK. 394 00:27:31,650 --> 00:27:35,354 So how wrong would I be if I said yours is not an arranged marriage? 395 00:27:36,522 --> 00:27:39,558 Yours is a marriage by consent. 396 00:27:39,591 --> 00:27:43,730 -The core of the difference is simply that when a marriage is arranged, 397 00:27:45,497 --> 00:27:50,036 it is arranged because the objective is to introduce two people for the purposes of 398 00:27:50,069 --> 00:27:53,539 getting married, rather than for the purposes of going out and having fun. 399 00:27:54,373 --> 00:27:57,576 There are such things as forced marriages. 400 00:27:57,609 --> 00:28:01,080 Anyone being compelled to marry someone they don't want to is completely wrong. 401 00:28:01,748 --> 00:28:04,216 An arrangement should be by choice, ultimately. 402 00:28:05,684 --> 00:28:08,387 -Do you think love has to be learned? 403 00:28:08,420 --> 00:28:12,491 -There is something powerful about going into a relationship with clear 404 00:28:12,524 --> 00:28:17,696 expectations on either side and clear hopes and desires on either side and not having 405 00:28:19,065 --> 00:28:22,869 those aspects clouded by the more superficial feelings. 406 00:28:23,970 --> 00:28:27,173 There's a possibility I think that that could lead to a longer term, 407 00:28:27,206 --> 00:28:29,776 more lasting, more fulfilling relationship. 408 00:28:29,809 --> 00:28:32,244 -You do look properly matched, to me. 409 00:28:33,079 --> 00:28:37,817 I mean I can certainly see how it could come about between you two. 410 00:28:38,617 --> 00:28:40,552 It looks right, feels right. 411 00:28:41,387 --> 00:28:42,955 (sniffing) 412 00:28:42,989 --> 00:28:44,824 Even smells right. 413 00:28:46,258 --> 00:28:47,359 So long guys. 414 00:28:47,393 --> 00:28:49,395 -Thank you. 415 00:28:51,330 --> 00:28:53,632 -It never occurred to me that an arranged marriage could be the foundation of 416 00:28:53,665 --> 00:28:55,401 a loving relationship. 417 00:28:55,434 --> 00:28:57,536 Not to Hina either. 418 00:28:57,569 --> 00:29:02,574 But, she and Kam have built upon the expectations placed on their match 419 00:29:02,608 --> 00:29:04,777 by their families. 420 00:29:04,811 --> 00:29:09,748 It built a bond that is founded on both passion and practicality. 421 00:29:11,017 --> 00:29:12,651 -Bye! -Bye-bye. 422 00:29:14,753 --> 00:29:17,756 -And they're raising a couple of wonderful boys. 423 00:29:23,462 --> 00:29:25,531 Love has so many forms. 424 00:29:26,866 --> 00:29:31,170 It's passionate, it's painful, it's nurtured. 425 00:29:34,206 --> 00:29:38,710 Love binds people together, even when love is the last thing on their minds. 426 00:29:43,449 --> 00:29:47,453 I'm meeting Army Major William Swenson, who received the Medal of Honor for 427 00:29:47,486 --> 00:29:49,355 his bravery in Afghanistan. 428 00:29:50,322 --> 00:29:52,158 PRESIDENT OBAMA: Will Swenson was there for his brothers. 429 00:29:52,191 --> 00:29:55,127 He was there for us all. 430 00:29:55,995 --> 00:29:59,966 MORGAN: The story of how he risked his life for his brothers in arms is 431 00:29:59,999 --> 00:30:01,633 a true story of love. 432 00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:07,439 -Brothers in arms. 433 00:30:07,473 --> 00:30:09,508 What does that term mean to you? 434 00:30:09,541 --> 00:30:11,477 WILL: It's a term that's always defined our relationship to one 435 00:30:11,510 --> 00:30:12,845 another in the military. 436 00:30:12,879 --> 00:30:13,980 Friendship. 437 00:30:14,013 --> 00:30:16,348 A family that's forged. 438 00:30:16,382 --> 00:30:18,684 Whether it's basic training or whether it's an experience that was forged in war. 439 00:30:19,551 --> 00:30:21,353 -Now you were in Afghanistan. 440 00:30:21,387 --> 00:30:23,489 -That's correct. 441 00:30:26,926 --> 00:30:32,531 We had US Army, US Air Force and the US Navy assets all participating in a joint 442 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:38,670 operation to help pacify a troubled part of our region. 443 00:30:41,040 --> 00:30:43,842 We were all collectively working with respective Afghan partners. 444 00:30:46,078 --> 00:30:48,380 Sergeant First Class Kenneth Westbrook and I were working with our Afghan border patrol. 445 00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:54,686 Sergeant Westbrook was in effect my right hand man. 446 00:30:55,955 --> 00:30:58,991 -Sergeant Westbrook is a friend of yours? 447 00:30:59,025 --> 00:31:02,161 -We had not known each other prior to this deployment. 448 00:31:02,194 --> 00:31:04,363 We got to know each other, very well. 449 00:31:04,396 --> 00:31:06,165 I could rely on him. 450 00:31:06,198 --> 00:31:08,500 We were very different in every way. 451 00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:12,371 However, we ultimately saw that we had an objective, a goal and that we were gonna 452 00:31:12,404 --> 00:31:14,273 get there, together. 453 00:31:16,375 --> 00:31:20,879 MORGAN: On September 8th 2009, Major Swenson, Sergeant Westbrook and their Afghan 454 00:31:20,913 --> 00:31:24,650 border patrol unit, were tasked with escorting a contingent from the Afghan 455 00:31:25,251 --> 00:31:28,220 Army and the US Marines. 456 00:31:30,056 --> 00:31:33,225 They were headed to a meeting of elders in the village of Ganjgal. 457 00:31:34,793 --> 00:31:37,964 -But this was not a mission that intended on being combat. 458 00:31:37,997 --> 00:31:40,299 We were there to support that operation. 459 00:31:40,332 --> 00:31:42,101 -OK, so what happened? 460 00:31:42,134 --> 00:31:44,736 -You pick your battles, but sometimes your battles pick you. 461 00:31:47,473 --> 00:31:49,375 -The mission came under fire? 462 00:31:49,408 --> 00:31:52,078 -That's correct. 463 00:31:52,111 --> 00:31:54,947 We never entered the village before we were fired upon. 464 00:31:54,981 --> 00:31:59,451 And it gradually escalated into a significant amount of direct, accurate, lethal fire. 465 00:32:08,627 --> 00:32:13,099 MORGAN: Major William Swenson had set out on a mission to help Afghani soldiers broker a 466 00:32:13,132 --> 00:32:15,667 peace deal with tribal elders in the village of Ganjgal. 467 00:32:20,506 --> 00:32:25,111 All of a sudden the mission came under attack and they were surrounded 468 00:32:26,112 --> 00:32:28,780 by as many as 60 insurgent fighters. 469 00:32:30,649 --> 00:32:34,120 He and his entire unit were battling to save their own lives. 470 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:41,060 -We had received at least four of our first casualties within the first five minutes. 471 00:32:43,729 --> 00:32:45,797 This battle extended over six hours. 472 00:32:45,831 --> 00:32:48,300 -Six hours! 473 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:53,972 -And over these six hours we had a number of heroic acts that occurred 474 00:32:55,174 --> 00:32:57,143 across that battlefield. 475 00:32:57,176 --> 00:33:00,846 We were firmly committed to one goal, extracting our survivors, 476 00:33:02,714 --> 00:33:05,684 recovering our wounded and dead and getting off that battlefield so that we could 477 00:33:05,717 --> 00:33:07,886 come back and fight another day. 478 00:33:08,654 --> 00:33:11,623 MORGAN: Major Swenson repeatedly entered the kill zone to rescue wounded and 479 00:33:11,657 --> 00:33:13,925 fallen US and Afghani soldiers. 480 00:33:15,761 --> 00:33:18,497 But he wasn't alone in his efforts. 481 00:33:20,166 --> 00:33:23,335 -Sergeant First Class Westbrook was providing supporting fire, heroically, 482 00:33:24,203 --> 00:33:26,638 and he was wounded. 483 00:33:26,672 --> 00:33:30,576 And he called out to me "Will, I'm hit" and he didn't tell me how badly wounded he was. 484 00:33:32,611 --> 00:33:36,115 He never indicated how significant his injuries were, but they were grave. 485 00:33:37,749 --> 00:33:41,653 And I was watching him, just checking to make sure he was OK. 486 00:33:41,687 --> 00:33:44,090 And he was. 487 00:33:45,057 --> 00:33:50,529 And he provided covering fire for who knows how long, before he finally said "I'm losing 488 00:33:50,562 --> 00:33:53,932 it, I need help over here" and I knew he was serious. 489 00:33:55,634 --> 00:33:58,737 And I went over to him and he and I began to extract off the battlefield. 490 00:34:01,140 --> 00:34:04,210 And he, on his own two feet, walked hundreds of yards. 491 00:34:04,743 --> 00:34:07,213 Hundreds of yards through complex terrain. 492 00:34:07,246 --> 00:34:10,316 Again, I had not at this point understood the severity of it. 493 00:34:11,083 --> 00:34:13,252 We'll watch this together. 494 00:34:19,625 --> 00:34:22,261 This helicopter crew was under fire at this time. 495 00:34:23,662 --> 00:34:28,434 For them to land it, a helicopter full of fuel, in that area is testament to 496 00:34:28,467 --> 00:34:30,136 their bravery as well. 497 00:34:30,769 --> 00:34:31,903 -Who's that? 498 00:34:31,937 --> 00:34:33,939 -This is me. 499 00:34:33,972 --> 00:34:36,342 The dust you see is providing some level of protection from direct fire. 500 00:34:38,110 --> 00:34:40,646 You can see here, that's Sergeant First Class Westbrook coming up. 501 00:34:41,280 --> 00:34:43,749 The bullet had destroyed his shoulder. 502 00:34:44,183 --> 00:34:46,952 Significant internal damage and bleeding. 503 00:34:46,985 --> 00:34:48,920 At this point he'd lost so much blood that it was difficult for him 504 00:34:48,954 --> 00:34:51,757 to maintain consciousness. 505 00:34:58,664 --> 00:35:01,800 This is Sergeant First Class Westbrook walking, on his own two feet, 506 00:35:01,833 --> 00:35:04,370 off that battle field after him doing his job. 507 00:35:08,540 --> 00:35:12,278 At that point, told him he'd done his job, it's time to go home and I gave him 508 00:35:12,311 --> 00:35:15,013 a kiss on the head. 509 00:35:17,949 --> 00:35:21,119 -Your brother in arms, you gave a kiss on the head. 510 00:35:25,891 --> 00:35:29,728 Would you agree it qualifies as love? 511 00:35:32,331 --> 00:35:34,800 -It does qualify as love. 512 00:35:34,833 --> 00:35:37,836 The people you serve with, the people you go to conflict with, 513 00:35:39,571 --> 00:35:43,175 the people that you have an experience and that intensity, forges friendships. 514 00:35:43,809 --> 00:35:45,677 It forges bonds. 515 00:35:45,711 --> 00:35:48,714 It forges something that truly cannot be repeated anywhere else. 516 00:35:49,381 --> 00:35:52,684 What happens on those battlefields, what happens amongst our service members in 517 00:35:52,718 --> 00:35:56,087 those situations creates something that really cannot be described. 518 00:35:57,155 --> 00:35:58,490 It can be seen. 519 00:35:58,524 --> 00:35:59,858 It can be witnessed. 520 00:35:59,891 --> 00:36:01,860 But it really has to be felt. 521 00:36:01,893 --> 00:36:06,498 It's powerful and it extends beyond just the soldier, just that sailor, that marine, 522 00:36:06,532 --> 00:36:08,967 it extends to even their families. 523 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,837 You feel like you've forged a new family, a new bond. 524 00:36:13,739 --> 00:36:17,376 -So Sergeant Westbrook was rather severely wounded, but not mortally right? 525 00:36:19,911 --> 00:36:21,913 What happened to him? 526 00:36:25,551 --> 00:36:27,886 -Sergeant Westbrook had the opportunity to go home. 527 00:36:29,455 --> 00:36:33,892 He didn't want to, he wanted to stay and keep fighting. 528 00:36:35,060 --> 00:36:38,430 He got to go home, he got to see his family. 529 00:36:39,965 --> 00:36:43,735 Unfortunately as a result of complications he passed away a month later. 530 00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:49,040 Back in the United States, with his family by his side. 531 00:36:51,643 --> 00:36:55,113 -So out of all of that, he died? 532 00:36:57,048 --> 00:36:59,084 -This is war. 533 00:36:59,117 --> 00:37:01,253 It's not fair. 534 00:37:01,287 --> 00:37:03,689 He would have returned to that battlefield if he could have. 535 00:37:03,722 --> 00:37:07,225 He would have returned right by my side and he and I would have continued our mission. 536 00:37:07,259 --> 00:37:10,562 But he gave everything for what he loved. 537 00:37:10,596 --> 00:37:13,399 For what he believed in. 538 00:37:13,432 --> 00:37:17,135 And I take some solace in knowing that he got home. 539 00:37:19,004 --> 00:37:20,439 -Yeah. 540 00:37:20,472 --> 00:37:22,908 Tough talking about it isn't it. 541 00:37:25,143 --> 00:37:27,112 Thank you. 542 00:37:29,981 --> 00:37:33,419 The courage that Major Swenson showed on that fateful day is inspiring. 543 00:37:34,953 --> 00:37:40,492 But, what strikes me most is that kiss and what it reveals. 544 00:37:43,128 --> 00:37:45,931 It's not romantic, no. 545 00:37:47,165 --> 00:37:49,868 It's a kiss of fellowship. 546 00:37:51,970 --> 00:37:56,342 A profound bond with someone you have no blood ties with. 547 00:37:59,845 --> 00:38:04,950 How can we ever have moved beyond small tribes without that bond? 548 00:38:06,217 --> 00:38:10,956 Our cities, our entire nations could not exist... 549 00:38:13,158 --> 00:38:15,226 without love. 550 00:38:18,497 --> 00:38:21,700 Love has built our world. 551 00:38:21,733 --> 00:38:24,536 But not everyone receives the love they need. 552 00:38:25,804 --> 00:38:29,941 Around us there are people who are excluded, who feel invisible to the 553 00:38:29,975 --> 00:38:31,677 rest of society. 554 00:38:33,244 --> 00:38:36,715 Can we help bring them back simply by offering them love? 555 00:38:45,591 --> 00:38:48,994 MORGAN: Across Europe and North America there are nearly five million homeless. 556 00:38:50,529 --> 00:38:53,031 Some of us are moved to help these people through charity. 557 00:38:54,500 --> 00:38:56,768 You could call charities, organizations built from love. 558 00:38:59,104 --> 00:39:05,043 In the US 63 million volunteers donated eight billion hours to homelessness 559 00:39:05,944 --> 00:39:08,346 and other causes in 2016. 560 00:39:09,715 --> 00:39:12,718 But suffering persists all the same. 561 00:39:12,751 --> 00:39:15,721 I wonder if there's a better way to show love to those in need? 562 00:39:24,463 --> 00:39:27,633 I'm in London to meet Joshua Coombes. 563 00:39:29,601 --> 00:39:33,739 He's a hairdresser and he believes small acts of love can make a big impact. 564 00:39:35,741 --> 00:39:36,842 JOSHUA: How you doing? 565 00:39:36,875 --> 00:39:37,876 -I'm doing good. 566 00:39:37,909 --> 00:39:39,010 Good to see you. 567 00:39:39,044 --> 00:39:40,211 -It's lovely to meet you, great to meet you. 568 00:39:40,245 --> 00:39:41,447 -Yeah what uh... 569 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:42,714 -What am I doing with this stool? 570 00:39:42,748 --> 00:39:44,950 -Yeah. -I'm gonna show you. -OK. 571 00:39:44,983 --> 00:39:47,886 -So I'm gonna take you around Peckham. 572 00:39:47,919 --> 00:39:50,756 MORGAN: Peckham was once one of London's most down trodden neighborhoods. 573 00:39:52,491 --> 00:39:54,059 Today it's in transition. 574 00:39:55,894 --> 00:40:00,732 On the same block you can find trendy coffee shops, street gangs and the homeless. 575 00:40:06,004 --> 00:40:07,138 -I'm gonna talk to this guy, down here. 576 00:40:07,172 --> 00:40:08,406 -OK. 577 00:40:08,440 --> 00:40:10,341 -Just a sec. 578 00:40:17,683 --> 00:40:21,286 MORGAN: Joshua hopes he can help the homeless, not by offering them money or food. 579 00:40:23,321 --> 00:40:25,757 But by giving them a haircut. 580 00:40:26,592 --> 00:40:28,960 -OK Stewart, when was the last time you had a haircut? 581 00:40:30,662 --> 00:40:32,130 -In November last year. 582 00:40:32,163 --> 00:40:33,431 -December, January, February. 583 00:40:33,465 --> 00:40:34,600 -Five months ago. 584 00:40:34,633 --> 00:40:36,001 -March, April. 585 00:40:36,034 --> 00:40:37,736 How do you come to be homeless Stewart? 586 00:40:37,769 --> 00:40:40,472 -I broke my hip and they stopped my benefits. 587 00:40:41,940 --> 00:40:44,743 And at the time I was like, I was stupid and I was getting involved with 588 00:40:44,776 --> 00:40:46,845 drugs and things. 589 00:40:46,878 --> 00:40:48,814 I didn't really care and next thing I know, you know, they came round and said 590 00:40:48,847 --> 00:40:50,516 "Right, you're out". 591 00:40:50,549 --> 00:40:55,386 That was the 24th January 2016 and I've been homeless since. 592 00:40:59,658 --> 00:41:02,227 It's another world on the streets. 593 00:41:03,529 --> 00:41:06,331 You can't go home anymore. 594 00:41:06,898 --> 00:41:09,334 And now you're alone. 595 00:41:11,703 --> 00:41:14,540 -Well I came close once, in 1962. 596 00:41:15,974 --> 00:41:18,577 Couldn't pay my rent and I had four roommates. 597 00:41:21,079 --> 00:41:24,983 But I couldn't pay my rent for a couple of months and they said well you gotta go. 598 00:41:26,685 --> 00:41:30,021 I had my duffel bag on my shoulder and thinking now where am I gonna go? 599 00:41:31,322 --> 00:41:34,025 -Where abouts was that? -San Francisco. -San Francisco. 600 00:41:34,059 --> 00:41:36,361 -Luckily I had friends. 601 00:41:36,394 --> 00:41:38,697 Somebody who took me in. 602 00:41:40,231 --> 00:41:42,801 -A lot of people look at you and think it's your fault you're there. 603 00:41:42,834 --> 00:41:44,002 You deserve it. 604 00:41:44,035 --> 00:41:45,403 You've done something wrong. 605 00:41:45,436 --> 00:41:48,740 It wasn't my case, I mean it just built up. 606 00:41:50,041 --> 00:41:52,343 -Mmm, how long you been doing this Josh? 607 00:41:53,511 --> 00:41:55,080 -For a couple of years now. 608 00:41:55,113 --> 00:41:57,182 -So what got you started? 609 00:41:57,215 --> 00:41:59,751 -I think it was feeling a bit helpless really, if I'm honest. 610 00:42:00,185 --> 00:42:02,320 Like it came from a feeling of helplessness. 611 00:42:02,353 --> 00:42:04,923 Of how can I affect a problem that seemed so big? 612 00:42:04,956 --> 00:42:08,359 How do I even begin to start, from that feeling of helplessness came like I had 613 00:42:08,393 --> 00:42:10,028 to start with one person. 614 00:42:10,061 --> 00:42:12,363 And just talking to one person, finding out about them, 615 00:42:12,397 --> 00:42:15,967 I think that makes you feel empowered to make bigger changes. 616 00:42:17,102 --> 00:42:19,437 -It's a bit more than giving a haircut or getting a haircut. 617 00:42:19,470 --> 00:42:20,538 -Yeah. 618 00:42:20,572 --> 00:42:22,874 Yeah exactly, right. 619 00:42:22,908 --> 00:42:26,544 Just because we're not related, I feel like there's got to be that support for the 620 00:42:26,578 --> 00:42:30,048 people who don't have that and, look I know a hair cuts not a big thing, 621 00:42:30,081 --> 00:42:33,685 I know it's not gonna change somebody's world, but for me it's just a way of spending 622 00:42:33,719 --> 00:42:36,121 time with someone. 623 00:42:36,154 --> 00:42:37,723 It's a way of making someone hopefully feel like there's someone out there who cares. 624 00:42:38,289 --> 00:42:39,625 You know, even if that is a stranger, right? 625 00:42:39,658 --> 00:42:41,392 -Yeah. 626 00:42:42,961 --> 00:42:46,231 -This is it, it's just coming off. 627 00:42:49,801 --> 00:42:51,603 -I've got a chin under there I think. 628 00:42:51,637 --> 00:42:54,039 Probably got two or three. 629 00:42:54,072 --> 00:42:55,907 -OK are you ready to say goodbye to this mustache? 630 00:42:55,941 --> 00:42:56,908 It's gone. 631 00:42:56,942 --> 00:42:58,977 It's going, going gone. 632 00:42:59,010 --> 00:43:01,079 -Well I must say Stewart, you look human. 633 00:43:01,112 --> 00:43:02,413 -Oh thank you. 634 00:43:05,183 --> 00:43:08,586 I must say, with you saying "Stewart", saying my name and talking to me 635 00:43:08,620 --> 00:43:10,121 and I recognize your voice. 636 00:43:10,155 --> 00:43:15,126 -Oh do you now? 637 00:43:16,294 --> 00:43:18,730 Do you have a special sleeping place or do you whatever you? 638 00:43:18,764 --> 00:43:20,331 -I do, yes, in Convent Garden. 639 00:43:20,365 --> 00:43:21,733 -Ah OK. 640 00:43:21,767 --> 00:43:24,569 -It's a doorway that I've slept in a few months now. 641 00:43:24,602 --> 00:43:27,338 The security don't bother me. 642 00:43:27,372 --> 00:43:29,841 -On the street, your day-to-day, what would you say love means to you? 643 00:43:31,843 --> 00:43:34,813 -Usually it hits me, like the first person to say "Good morning" to me. 644 00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:38,016 You know I'll be lying there, I'm just undoing my sleeping bag, 645 00:43:38,817 --> 00:43:41,286 just climbing out and somebody walks past and says "Morning" and you're like whoa, lovely. 646 00:43:42,553 --> 00:43:44,856 But when you don't hear a good morning from anybody, it's like nobody cares. 647 00:43:47,392 --> 00:43:49,160 -Another big reason for doing this. 648 00:43:49,194 --> 00:43:51,529 When people walk past and they see someone helping another person I 649 00:43:51,562 --> 00:43:52,630 think it's infectious. 650 00:43:52,664 --> 00:43:54,465 It ripples. 651 00:43:54,499 --> 00:43:57,903 You know and I think that's part of this, to try and inspire other people. 652 00:43:59,237 --> 00:44:03,875 So we've created a social media movement #dosomethingfornothing. 653 00:44:04,542 --> 00:44:07,545 And people are using this hashtag in different places to perform good will acts. 654 00:44:07,578 --> 00:44:09,748 You know, so it's not just about hairdressing. 655 00:44:11,416 --> 00:44:16,554 -So Stewart, I'm thinking now what's got Josh here with you, is his sense 656 00:44:17,388 --> 00:44:19,524 of love thy neighbor. 657 00:44:21,592 --> 00:44:23,929 Do something for someone, for nothing. 658 00:44:26,898 --> 00:44:29,034 What do you think about that? 659 00:44:29,067 --> 00:44:30,468 -There'd be a lot more done. 660 00:44:30,501 --> 00:44:31,703 -Wouldn't there. 661 00:44:31,737 --> 00:44:33,471 Yeah. 662 00:44:33,504 --> 00:44:35,673 -Yeah man and final touch. 663 00:44:35,707 --> 00:44:37,008 We're ready. 664 00:44:37,042 --> 00:44:38,343 I think you're ready. 665 00:44:38,376 --> 00:44:40,178 -Yeah, there you are, bet you don't recognize this guy. 666 00:44:40,211 --> 00:44:41,980 -I don't yeah. 667 00:44:42,013 --> 00:44:45,450 -In five, four... 668 00:44:46,084 --> 00:44:49,287 three, two, one, 669 00:44:49,687 --> 00:44:52,090 Ta-dah! 670 00:44:52,123 --> 00:44:55,393 -Jesus, I look 20 years younger! 671 00:44:56,561 --> 00:45:00,298 -Yeah, Stewart what we said. -Nobody's gonna recognize me. 672 00:45:00,698 --> 00:45:02,667 -Mate, you're a new man right now. 673 00:45:02,700 --> 00:45:04,069 -Yeah, thank you. 674 00:45:04,102 --> 00:45:07,138 -How do you feel? -Like a new man. -Like a new man. 675 00:45:08,039 --> 00:45:09,741 -Do you recognize yourself there? 676 00:45:09,775 --> 00:45:15,814 -Um, yes, I used to look like that once, when I was a lot younger. 677 00:45:19,317 --> 00:45:22,954 -Alright, so what I want to say to the both of you is thank you very much. 678 00:45:23,388 --> 00:45:25,723 -Thank you very much. -Thank you. 679 00:45:25,757 --> 00:45:27,926 -Quite a new experience. 680 00:45:27,959 --> 00:45:31,963 Someone like you walking around the city doing good stuff like that. 681 00:45:31,997 --> 00:45:34,399 -Thank you, means a lot, really does. 682 00:45:34,432 --> 00:45:35,767 -Thank you. 683 00:45:35,801 --> 00:45:37,568 Stewart. 684 00:45:41,106 --> 00:45:43,274 It's really terrific what Josh is doing. 685 00:45:43,308 --> 00:45:44,542 -I'm gonna see you again soon. 686 00:45:44,575 --> 00:45:46,344 -Thanks. 687 00:45:48,446 --> 00:45:49,915 MORGAN: Joshua doesn't expect these small acts of kindness to end homelessness. 688 00:45:52,083 --> 00:45:56,321 But he hopes the love he shows people will boost their self-esteem and may help them 689 00:45:56,354 --> 00:45:58,256 rebuild their lives. 690 00:46:01,860 --> 00:46:07,432 -Just imagine if each of us took five minutes out of your day to do something 691 00:46:07,933 --> 00:46:10,335 loving for another person. 692 00:46:10,368 --> 00:46:13,171 I don't care if it's a family member or your friend or a total stranger. 693 00:46:17,008 --> 00:46:20,545 Imagine what a transformation it would make in this world. 694 00:46:27,685 --> 00:46:32,457 * 695 00:46:32,490 --> 00:46:35,493 Love is the most powerful force we know. 696 00:46:35,526 --> 00:46:38,997 Back when we all lived in small tribes it kept our extended families together. 697 00:46:41,132 --> 00:46:44,035 But it has grown into so much more than that. 698 00:46:45,136 --> 00:46:47,805 Today, love can reach all the way around the world. 699 00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:52,743 It is endlessly adaptable, surprising and healing. 700 00:46:54,712 --> 00:46:58,516 It has the power to inspire us, to push our society forward. 701 00:47:01,552 --> 00:47:05,823 I still believe love can change the world, like I did in 1967. 702 00:47:06,925 --> 00:47:09,895 We just have to remember 703 00:47:11,162 --> 00:47:15,733 there's nothing we can do that can't be done with love. 704 00:47:15,766 --> 00:47:17,102 Captioned by Cotter Captioning Services. 60702

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