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- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
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Whoa
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[CAR HORNS HONKING]
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_
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[INTRO TO "ANOTHER DAY OF SUN"
TUNE FROM LA LA LAND]
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♪ Another Springfield day ♪
_
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♪ A truly perfect place to see ♪
♪ your dreams just fade away ♪
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♪ Working at the plant's fried ♪
♪ everything inside my pants ♪
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♪ Good-bye to all romance ♪
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♪ All I've got to show ♪
♪ for 20 years or so is you ♪
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- Carl!
- Prescription pain pills!
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♪ I have a law degree ♪
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♪ For years I've smelled ♪
♪ just like cat pee ♪
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♪ This town just drags you down ♪
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♪ She's completely lost her head ♪
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♪ And we will eat her when she's dead ♪
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♪ It really shouldn't be too long ♪
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- ♪ Cats! Cats! Cats! ♪
- ♪ She'll be our dinner ♪
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♪ This truly is an awful town ♪
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♪ The water's green, the sky is brown ♪
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♪ Pope Francis came, he turned around ♪
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♪ Our strongest bridge ♪
♪ just holds ten pounds ♪
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♪ We're poisoned by a greedy clown ♪
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♪ Kang-a-roo meat! ♪
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♪ Traffic suffers from paralysis ♪
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Please. I'm late for my dialysis.
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♪ It's another Springfield day ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ I'm too sad to say olé ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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♪ We've lost our coolest gays ♪
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
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Duffman thinks this town's okay!
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♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh ♪
_
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♪ It's another Springfield day! ♪
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[PEOPLE SCREAMING]
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[LAUGHING] Lenny's a survivor!
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LISA: ♪ This will be a perfect day ♪
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♪ No way to go outside and play ♪
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♪ And so we're on our way ♪
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♪ To a very nerdy science conference ♪
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♪ Ba-ba ba-ba-dum ba-dum, ba-ba ♪
_
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♪ Bum-bum, ba-ba-dum, ba-da, ba-ba ♪
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Take it Bart!
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If you're givin' it, I don't want it.
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Bring it home, boy.
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♪ My sister sucks! ♪
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Nyah, nyah.
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♪ It's another perfect day! ♪
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I brought my stems.
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Sir, this is a conference
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of Science, Technology,
Engineering and Math.
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What about this one?
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Dialogue on Pediatric Education.
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[WHOOSHING]
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[MUMBLING]
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I find this claim highly doyvik.
_
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It's all true according
to the highly-prestigious
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Institute for Purchased Science.
_
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Here's our top scientist now.
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Sir, I-I don't think
this is fooling anyone.
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Quiet! And put on the monocle,
Professor Noodle-Strudel.
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[SMITHERS SIGHS]
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- So where's your booth?
- I don't have one.
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- I just came here for fun.
- Fun?!
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One child, please.
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I was here first.
_
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If disco's dead, I don't want to live.
_
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It's Stuicide!
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Self-unrolling yoga mats.
_
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[RHYTHMIC WHIRRING]
_
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Artificial intelligence
that writes TV recaps.
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Stranger Things suffers
from season two fatigue.
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00:02:57,675 --> 00:03:00,777
And look! IMAX Al Gore!
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00:03:00,812 --> 00:03:04,649
If every family could just
reduce their carbon footprint
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00:03:04,682 --> 00:03:06,783
by ten percent...
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Oh, it's hopeless.
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The floods are comin', people!
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This is my Woodstock!
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[WOOZY LAUGH]
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You okay, honey?
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[SLURRING WORDS] It's fine. It's fine.
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I'm just intellectually drunk.
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Mm. I guess that's okay.
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Marge, Marge, Marge, you lighten up.
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It's science.
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Maybe you should sit down.
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I ain't sittin'. I'm ready to fly!
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Hmm.
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00:03:32,501 --> 00:03:34,501
_
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00:03:37,816 --> 00:03:39,850
Hey, kid, I want to show you something.
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Are you a pervert?
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No. A chemical engineer.
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[CRYING] No!
_
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I used to be like you.
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You mean incredibly bored?
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Oh, let's see
if you think this is boring.
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I drop a little water
on powdered sodium...
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BART: Huh?!
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Wow!
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Listen, I don't know
what you're teaching,
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but you and I have great chemistry.
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Except for the lab coat.
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It makes you look kind of heavy.
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I actually am kind of heavy,
and it makes me look thinner!
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I don't know what could make
this day more perfect.
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[JAZZ PLAYS ON PIANO]
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[GASPS]
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You didn't applaud. Nothing.
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Here, I'll show ya how it goes.
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00:04:23,862 --> 00:04:27,165
Thank you. No selfies.
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LISA: In a lesser musician,
that boy's attitude
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would be needy
masquerading as arrogance.
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I'm leaving if he can't sing.
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♪ I've had my share of crazy flings ♪
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♪ But they all end up leavin' ♪
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♪ And leavin', ♪
♪ well, it really stings... ♪
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LISA: Oh, God. He's one small step away
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from destroying all my logic and reason.
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♪
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Ah. Ah. Ah.
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MILHOUSE: Hey, Lisa.
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I brought you three waters:
cold, lukewarm and warm.
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- That's nice. Any sparkling?
- Damn it!
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Hi! I'm Lisa Simpson and I'm nervous
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about saying anything that will
ruin this perfect moment.
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My name's Brendan.
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00:05:10,098 --> 00:05:12,399
Oh, good, good. No last names.
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Don't want things moving too fast.
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Oh! I hope our children get his hair.
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Now to subtly find out how old he is.
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How old are you?
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Well, I'm 11, but I'm insouciant
at a 12th grade level,
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00:05:24,278 --> 00:05:25,680
and I'm talented, too.
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[LAUGHS] So unfair, right?
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That's amazing, because
the boys I know are re...
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I've got sparkling!
138
00:05:32,387 --> 00:05:34,021
Sorry, I'm not thirsty anymore.
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Damn it!
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00:05:35,757 --> 00:05:38,492
Um, so w-where do you go to school?
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I just moved here.
I'm starting next week
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at a school called
Springfield Elementary.
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00:05:41,896 --> 00:05:44,031
I see it got a few
dreadful reviews on Yelp.
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00:05:44,066 --> 00:05:46,233
This guy called "Gary Chalmers"
gave it half a star.
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Bloody hell!
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Of all the K through sixes
in this world,
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you had to walk into mine.
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A beautiful hotel bar!
Just like in The Shining!
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Oh, hi, lee... tle girl.
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00:05:58,447 --> 00:06:01,382
If you see your ma... uh, ma wife,
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00:06:01,415 --> 00:06:05,218
tell her Homer... not your dad...
wants the credit card.
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I will... sir.
153
00:06:07,221 --> 00:06:09,656
- Sir? I'm your dad.
- D'oh!
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MAN [GERMAN ACCENT]:
Today, we are performing
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an experiment that we humorously call
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"making elephant toothpaste."
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Boy, the Germans sure know their humor.
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Let's just hope they know
something about chemistry.
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00:06:21,336 --> 00:06:26,106
First, add a tablespoon of
dish soap to hydrogen peroxide,
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00:06:26,141 --> 00:06:29,009
then add the warm water and the yeast!
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[EXPLOSION]
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Aah! German chemistry!
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- [WHIMPERING]
- [BOYS LAUGHING]
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[SAXOPHONE AND PIANO
PLAY LIVELY, UPBEAT JAZZ]
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_
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Sounds great, Lisa. Really great.
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You're just a little behind the beat.
168
00:06:51,132 --> 00:06:53,935
Uh, maybe you're a little ahead?
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00:06:53,968 --> 00:06:57,103
Aw, you're so cute when you're wrong.
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- Channel that rage!
- No!
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Make that reed pay for my sins!
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00:07:01,209 --> 00:07:03,978
[PLAYING LIVELY JAZZ]
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Yeah!
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00:07:05,814 --> 00:07:08,214
- [BANGING ON WALL]
- HOMER: Knock off that racket!
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00:07:08,250 --> 00:07:09,983
It's not a racket!
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00:07:10,018 --> 00:07:12,485
It's the truest American art form!
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00:07:12,521 --> 00:07:15,755
Banging on the walls is
the truest American art form,
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00:07:15,790 --> 00:07:17,324
and I'm a Picasso!
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00:07:17,358 --> 00:07:19,293
[BANGING RHYTHMICALLY TO MUSIC]
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00:07:19,327 --> 00:07:22,129
Oh, no! They're playing in time
to the beat of my banging!
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00:07:22,163 --> 00:07:24,665
Well, then stop banging.
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00:07:24,699 --> 00:07:27,067
I can't. The rhythm is infectious.
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00:07:27,101 --> 00:07:29,235
[BANGING RHYTHMICALLY TO MUSIC]
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00:07:34,274 --> 00:07:35,324
_
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00:07:35,324 --> 00:07:36,476
_
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00:07:36,478 --> 00:07:38,980
Here's the school trophy case.
_
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00:07:39,014 --> 00:07:41,148
If you look closely, it's empty.
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00:07:41,182 --> 00:07:43,584
They're actually decals on the glass.
189
00:07:45,754 --> 00:07:48,154
- Oh, hello, Lisa.
- [GASPS]
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00:07:48,189 --> 00:07:49,790
I see you have a new friend.
191
00:07:49,824 --> 00:07:51,992
Brendan, this is Nelson.
192
00:07:52,026 --> 00:07:54,327
Lisa, you sure know a lot of weird guys.
193
00:07:54,362 --> 00:07:55,829
Hello, Brenda.
194
00:07:55,863 --> 00:07:58,331
Excuse me.
Why is being a girl an insult?
195
00:07:58,367 --> 00:08:00,401
Ah! So evolved!
196
00:08:00,435 --> 00:08:03,170
Lisa, are you squishy
for this ding-dong?
197
00:08:03,204 --> 00:08:06,007
Lisa, does that fat kid like you?
198
00:08:07,541 --> 00:08:10,444
[LAUGHS] Whatever we had,
it's in the past.
199
00:08:12,913 --> 00:08:16,317
I think there's something
in the water in this town.
200
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,387
[WHISTLES]
201
00:08:22,024 --> 00:08:24,391
[LAUGHTER]
202
00:08:24,425 --> 00:08:26,160
Oh, man.
203
00:08:26,194 --> 00:08:27,961
♪ On a playground I tripped ♪
204
00:08:27,995 --> 00:08:29,497
[GIRLS SIGH]
205
00:08:29,531 --> 00:08:31,899
♪ Then I saw you and flipped ♪
206
00:08:31,932 --> 00:08:34,000
He used "flipped" with a double meaning!
207
00:08:34,036 --> 00:08:35,568
Bastard!
208
00:08:35,604 --> 00:08:37,837
♪ Now I'm skippin' ♪
209
00:08:37,873 --> 00:08:40,807
♪ And trippin' for you. ♪
210
00:08:40,841 --> 00:08:43,177
He turned his suffering
into entertainment,
211
00:08:43,211 --> 00:08:44,745
just like the Jewish people!
212
00:08:44,779 --> 00:08:47,148
Nothing can ruin this moment.
213
00:08:47,182 --> 00:08:49,115
Make way. Dead gophers.
214
00:08:49,150 --> 00:08:50,683
Nothing!
215
00:08:50,719 --> 00:08:53,386
[LIVELY JAZZ PLAYING]
216
00:08:53,422 --> 00:08:55,623
How can you be sleeping?!
217
00:08:55,657 --> 00:08:58,625
[GRUNTING]
218
00:08:58,659 --> 00:09:00,528
Oh, thank God.
219
00:09:00,562 --> 00:09:04,932
Meanwhile, Bart's teacher says
he has a flair for chemistry.
220
00:09:04,966 --> 00:09:06,433
Why that little...
221
00:09:06,467 --> 00:09:08,936
Wait. Flair? Isn't that a good thing?
222
00:09:08,970 --> 00:09:10,804
Yes. It's too good.
223
00:09:10,839 --> 00:09:13,774
- [WHISTLING]
- [LIQUID GURGLING]
224
00:09:15,610 --> 00:09:17,411
[GARGLING]
225
00:09:17,446 --> 00:09:19,279
Why don't you ask him what he's up to?
226
00:09:19,313 --> 00:09:22,883
Because if he lies to me,
it's like a dagger in my heart.
227
00:09:22,918 --> 00:09:26,253
What happens when...
I mean if... I ever lie to you?
228
00:09:26,288 --> 00:09:28,522
Can you find out what he's really up to?
229
00:09:28,557 --> 00:09:30,658
- I will.
- See? That's a lie right there.
230
00:09:30,692 --> 00:09:32,993
D'oh! Okay, I really will.
231
00:09:33,028 --> 00:09:34,961
- That's also a lie.
- D'oh!
232
00:09:34,995 --> 00:09:37,431
Fine. I really, really, really will.
233
00:09:37,466 --> 00:09:39,500
Finally, the truth.
234
00:09:39,533 --> 00:09:41,302
[HOMER PANTING HEAVILY]
235
00:09:41,336 --> 00:09:43,003
HOMER: Keeping... promise.
236
00:09:43,038 --> 00:09:44,838
[HOMER PANTING HEAVILY]
237
00:09:44,873 --> 00:09:46,340
Stupid tree house.
238
00:09:46,374 --> 00:09:48,775
[PANTING] So far off the ground.
239
00:09:48,809 --> 00:09:50,277
[PANTING HEAVILY]
240
00:09:50,312 --> 00:09:52,645
Uh, Dad, you haven't even
started to climb yet.
241
00:09:52,681 --> 00:09:54,815
I have to visualize it first.
242
00:09:54,850 --> 00:09:56,884
[GROANS]
243
00:09:57,818 --> 00:09:59,019
Thanks, guys.
244
00:09:59,053 --> 00:10:00,453
Ah, no problem.
245
00:10:00,489 --> 00:10:02,022
Why did we do that, Chief?
246
00:10:02,057 --> 00:10:03,957
Fat man courtesy, Lou.
247
00:10:03,991 --> 00:10:05,692
Fat man courtesy.
248
00:10:05,726 --> 00:10:08,162
Son, how do I put this?
249
00:10:08,196 --> 00:10:10,530
Are you breaking bad up here?
250
00:10:10,565 --> 00:10:12,032
No, I'm not.
251
00:10:12,067 --> 00:10:14,301
And if you're looking for meth,
go see Cletus.
252
00:10:14,336 --> 00:10:16,470
- What?!
- [BEEPS]
253
00:10:16,504 --> 00:10:21,708
Meth Life, proud sponsor
of the 2020 Opioid Olympics!
254
00:10:21,743 --> 00:10:23,309
[SQUEALS]
255
00:10:23,345 --> 00:10:26,179
Ooh, that's street ready!
256
00:10:26,213 --> 00:10:28,649
Dad, I'm just trying
to follow in your footsteps.
257
00:10:28,682 --> 00:10:31,485
You work in science,
and I think that's really cool.
258
00:10:31,519 --> 00:10:33,953
Wow, you've never
said that to me before.
259
00:10:33,989 --> 00:10:36,157
Do you want to go to work with me today?
260
00:10:36,191 --> 00:10:37,725
You can help me research my theory
261
00:10:37,759 --> 00:10:39,726
that the chairs can go flat.
262
00:10:39,760 --> 00:10:43,697
I'd like to, but I've got to do
some colloidal titration.
263
00:10:43,731 --> 00:10:44,965
[HOMER WHIMPERS]
264
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,801
Marge, it's worse than we thought.
265
00:10:47,836 --> 00:10:49,102
He's speaking in tongues.
266
00:10:49,136 --> 00:10:50,604
He's a religious weirdo.
267
00:10:50,639 --> 00:10:51,971
The worst thing there is.
268
00:10:52,006 --> 00:10:53,706
Cover your eyes, boys...
269
00:10:53,741 --> 00:10:57,244
I'm about to flip Mr. Simpson
the "Flanders finger."
270
00:10:57,278 --> 00:10:59,179
[GASPS] You mean...
271
00:10:59,213 --> 00:11:02,549
Yup... a thumbs-up
without a friendly wink.
272
00:11:02,583 --> 00:11:04,585
[BOYS WHIMPERING]
273
00:11:05,359 --> 00:11:06,553
_
274
00:11:06,554 --> 00:11:08,322
You have a credit card?
275
00:11:08,355 --> 00:11:09,889
Yeah, but no money.
276
00:11:09,924 --> 00:11:12,493
Oh, a true jazz musician.
277
00:11:15,811 --> 00:11:17,250
_
278
00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:22,101
♪
279
00:11:23,110 --> 00:11:25,129
_
280
00:11:26,312 --> 00:11:27,669
_
281
00:11:30,302 --> 00:11:32,780
_
282
00:11:32,780 --> 00:11:35,249
[EXCLAIMS] Just give the ice cream back.
283
00:11:35,283 --> 00:11:37,817
No way. It was really hard to scoop.
284
00:11:37,841 --> 00:11:39,119
_
285
00:11:39,120 --> 00:11:40,921
[DOOR BELL TINKLES]
286
00:11:40,956 --> 00:11:43,190
Prepare to have your ears belted.
287
00:11:46,094 --> 00:11:49,129
♪ My funny valentine ♪
288
00:11:49,163 --> 00:11:52,633
♪ Sweet, comic valentine ♪
289
00:11:52,667 --> 00:11:53,634
Nelson?
290
00:11:53,668 --> 00:11:56,437
♪ You make me smile ♪
291
00:11:56,471 --> 00:11:59,340
♪ With my heart ♪
292
00:12:01,275 --> 00:12:03,443
Stop! Why are you doing this?
293
00:12:03,477 --> 00:12:06,113
I don't know. There's no
good word for what I feel.
294
00:12:06,147 --> 00:12:09,283
Scared and excited at the same time.
295
00:12:09,317 --> 00:12:11,284
There is a word: vulnerable.
296
00:12:11,318 --> 00:12:13,354
"Vulner-able"?
297
00:12:15,490 --> 00:12:17,157
Yup. I always liked you,
298
00:12:17,192 --> 00:12:20,094
but now I'm seeing you in a new light.
299
00:12:24,331 --> 00:12:27,100
♪ Your looks are laughable ♪
300
00:12:27,134 --> 00:12:28,568
Haw-haw!
301
00:12:28,602 --> 00:12:31,371
♪ Unphotographable ♪
302
00:12:31,405 --> 00:12:34,540
♪ But you're my favorite ♪
303
00:12:34,576 --> 00:12:36,644
[OFF-KEY]: ♪ Work of art ♪
304
00:12:36,677 --> 00:12:37,644
[LOW]: ♪ Art ♪
305
00:12:37,678 --> 00:12:38,711
[LOWER]: ♪ Art ♪
306
00:12:38,746 --> 00:12:39,846
[WAY OFF-KEY]: ♪ Art. ♪
307
00:12:39,880 --> 00:12:41,414
Nailed it. [GRUNTS]
308
00:12:44,854 --> 00:12:47,898
And so now there's a jazz war over me.
309
00:12:47,898 --> 00:12:50,533
It's pretty bad. But it's pretty great.
310
00:12:50,567 --> 00:12:54,169
Uh-huh. Scotland once had two
queens fightin' over her.
311
00:12:54,205 --> 00:12:55,904
Loser got Scotland.
_
312
00:12:55,940 --> 00:12:57,840
Of course, Brendan
is the superior artist.
313
00:12:57,875 --> 00:12:59,475
But that kind of intimidates me.
314
00:12:59,509 --> 00:13:01,177
And Nelson's rough, but he's sweet.
315
00:13:01,211 --> 00:13:02,678
Plus he thinks I have dimples.
316
00:13:02,712 --> 00:13:04,947
Dimples? It's that serious?
317
00:13:04,981 --> 00:13:07,517
- [SCOTTISH ACCENT]: Aye.
- Let me give ye advice on love.
318
00:13:07,551 --> 00:13:10,485
The Scottish national flower
is the thistle.
319
00:13:10,520 --> 00:13:12,488
A humble weed. Legend has it
_
320
00:13:12,523 --> 00:13:14,256
that the Norse King Haakon
321
00:13:14,291 --> 00:13:16,625
staged a surprise invasion.
322
00:13:16,659 --> 00:13:19,796
But his barefooted army
stepped on thistles,
323
00:13:19,830 --> 00:13:22,865
and their screams
awakened the sleepy Scots.
324
00:13:25,402 --> 00:13:28,705
Many a Norwegian lass
lamented their dead lover
325
00:13:28,739 --> 00:13:31,039
- on that glorious day.
- SKINNER: Willie,
326
00:13:31,075 --> 00:13:33,875
someone spiked the teachers'
vodka with sulfuric acid.
327
00:13:33,911 --> 00:13:36,211
Superintendent Chalmers
lost the tip of his tongue.
328
00:13:36,246 --> 00:13:37,779
Kin-ner!
329
00:13:37,815 --> 00:13:40,250
[SIGHS]
330
00:13:40,283 --> 00:13:42,118
Lisa, this is a song about you.
331
00:13:42,152 --> 00:13:44,419
- A kid who's almost there.
- [GRUMBLES]
332
00:13:44,455 --> 00:13:46,422
And when you get there,
you'll blow the roof off.
333
00:13:46,456 --> 00:13:47,590
Oh.
334
00:13:47,625 --> 00:13:49,625
♪
335
00:13:52,929 --> 00:13:55,898
Yeah, well, I brought my washboard.
336
00:13:55,932 --> 00:13:59,201
[SCRAPING]
337
00:13:59,235 --> 00:14:01,638
Nelson. You took our washboard.
338
00:14:01,672 --> 00:14:05,341
I got thongs to scrub.
339
00:14:06,442 --> 00:14:07,644
I really can't believe
340
00:14:07,677 --> 00:14:08,945
that this is a choice.
341
00:14:08,979 --> 00:14:10,178
I mean, look at me.
342
00:14:10,214 --> 00:14:11,581
And look at him.
343
00:14:11,615 --> 00:14:13,615
And then look back at me.
344
00:14:14,817 --> 00:14:16,786
Hmm, they're quiet.
345
00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:18,520
Too quiet.
346
00:14:18,554 --> 00:14:20,556
[BART AND MILHOUSE LAUGH]
347
00:14:20,591 --> 00:14:21,857
Now they're loud.
348
00:14:21,892 --> 00:14:23,158
Too loud.
349
00:14:23,192 --> 00:14:24,527
[BART AND MILHOUSE CHUCKLE]
350
00:14:24,561 --> 00:14:26,528
Now they're just right.
351
00:14:26,562 --> 00:14:28,163
Too just right.
352
00:14:28,197 --> 00:14:30,299
Are you sure
Bart's not planning anything?
353
00:14:30,333 --> 00:14:32,302
A boy takes his cues from his mother.
354
00:14:32,336 --> 00:14:34,903
If I trust him, then he'll be good.
355
00:14:34,937 --> 00:14:37,173
Hey, don't knock my mother's method...
356
00:14:37,206 --> 00:14:39,308
complete abandonment from age five.
357
00:14:39,342 --> 00:14:41,511
[BART AND MILHOUSE GIGGLE]
358
00:14:41,511 --> 00:14:42,979
HOMER: Hmm.
359
00:14:43,013 --> 00:14:45,248
The school talent show.
360
00:14:45,282 --> 00:14:47,716
And on the back, chemical equations.
361
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,284
Still think he's innocent?
362
00:14:49,320 --> 00:14:51,653
We'll just have to go there and see.
363
00:14:54,290 --> 00:14:57,225
You wanted rock candy,
you got rock candy.
364
00:14:57,260 --> 00:14:58,628
Mmm.
365
00:14:58,662 --> 00:15:00,797
Brendan and Nelson are fighting.
_
366
00:15:00,831 --> 00:15:04,466
I'm getting Daddy's gun
to under-arrest them.
367
00:15:04,500 --> 00:15:05,467
Oh, no.
368
00:15:05,501 --> 00:15:07,669
I'm gonna call you decrescendo,
369
00:15:07,705 --> 00:15:09,772
'cause you're goin' down.
370
00:15:09,807 --> 00:15:11,341
Nelson, that's clever.
371
00:15:11,375 --> 00:15:14,476
Thanks. For you, I read a book.
372
00:15:15,879 --> 00:15:17,513
All right, Ralphie, easy, easy.
373
00:15:17,548 --> 00:15:19,548
Give Daddy back his hat.
374
00:15:21,018 --> 00:15:24,386
Oh, you missed everything,
just like Daddy.
375
00:15:26,056 --> 00:15:27,356
[SAXOPHONE PLAYING]
376
00:15:28,692 --> 00:15:30,860
Ugh, so many clams.
377
00:15:30,894 --> 00:15:34,663
Well, you're gonna look
very nice for the show tonight.
378
00:15:34,697 --> 00:15:37,033
It doesn't matter how I look,
I'm not ready.
379
00:15:37,067 --> 00:15:39,568
I've been so distracted by those boys.
380
00:15:39,602 --> 00:15:41,169
How did you choose Dad?
381
00:15:41,205 --> 00:15:42,705
And never regret it?
382
00:15:42,740 --> 00:15:44,673
HOMER: Marge, I might've swallowed
383
00:15:44,707 --> 00:15:46,709
a couple of your earrings.
384
00:15:48,379 --> 00:15:50,379
Gotta go.
385
00:15:51,215 --> 00:15:53,048
[MARGE HUMMING]
386
00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:56,351
I do not want to know
how you got these back.
387
00:15:56,386 --> 00:15:58,254
So, we're really doing it.
388
00:15:58,288 --> 00:16:00,322
We're going to a talent show
389
00:16:00,356 --> 00:16:03,592
where Bart is putting on
a chemistry demonstration.
390
00:16:03,626 --> 00:16:04,994
Have I got that right?
391
00:16:05,028 --> 00:16:07,296
If our faces get melted off today,
392
00:16:07,331 --> 00:16:09,565
I want the last thing Bart sees
393
00:16:09,600 --> 00:16:11,701
to be us believing in him.
394
00:16:11,735 --> 00:16:13,936
Fine, fine. Let me just finish my will.
395
00:16:15,169 --> 00:16:18,783
_
396
00:16:18,808 --> 00:16:20,475
And... [EXCLAIMS]
397
00:16:20,510 --> 00:16:22,711
Oh, it's good
to have that taken care of.
398
00:16:22,745 --> 00:16:25,047
[ORCHESTRA WARMING UP]
_
399
00:16:25,081 --> 00:16:28,116
[SINGING SCALES] ♪ Haw-haw-haw,
haw-haw-haw, haw. ♪
400
00:16:28,152 --> 00:16:29,751
Nelson? A word?
401
00:16:29,787 --> 00:16:31,220
Take five, Martin.
402
00:16:31,254 --> 00:16:32,889
I'm not even in your act.
403
00:16:32,923 --> 00:16:35,290
- I said take five.
- [WHIMPERS]
404
00:16:35,325 --> 00:16:36,893
Ooh!
_
405
00:16:36,927 --> 00:16:39,528
Nelson, I cherish
our unhealthy relationship.
406
00:16:39,562 --> 00:16:42,230
Especially the fact
that I can tell you the truth.
407
00:16:42,265 --> 00:16:44,299
Kiddo, you're not a singer.
408
00:16:44,334 --> 00:16:46,235
Okay, fine, I won't sing.
409
00:16:46,269 --> 00:16:47,937
But I'll still perform.
410
00:16:47,971 --> 00:16:51,139
That's how much I want
to hold your stupid hand.
411
00:16:51,174 --> 00:16:52,408
Oh.
412
00:16:52,442 --> 00:16:54,677
You're up, Nelson.
413
00:16:57,181 --> 00:16:58,648
Hello.
414
00:16:58,682 --> 00:17:00,582
I'm the school bully.
415
00:17:00,616 --> 00:17:02,518
[AUDIENCE BOOING]
416
00:17:02,552 --> 00:17:03,919
Aw, don't be a dingus.
417
00:17:03,953 --> 00:17:05,488
I'm the next Charlie Mingus.
418
00:17:05,521 --> 00:17:06,888
- [GASPS]
- [NELSON PLAYING BASS]
419
00:17:06,923 --> 00:17:08,557
Could I really choose him?
420
00:17:08,592 --> 00:17:11,326
♪
421
00:17:24,942 --> 00:17:27,375
[GASPS] My choice is clear: Brendan.
422
00:17:27,411 --> 00:17:28,978
♪
423
00:17:29,011 --> 00:17:30,946
- [BOOING]
- MAN: Ooh, yeah, I feel the groove.
424
00:17:33,717 --> 00:17:36,685
Next contestant, Brendan Beiderbecke.
425
00:17:39,589 --> 00:17:41,123
And Brendan wins!
426
00:17:41,157 --> 00:17:42,525
[LISPING] Not so fast.
427
00:17:42,558 --> 00:17:44,626
We have a disqualification.
428
00:17:44,661 --> 00:17:47,663
This young man does not
live in the district.
429
00:17:47,698 --> 00:17:50,232
Right, his home is 50 feet
into West Springfield,
430
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:52,434
which means he will be
transferred to a school
431
00:17:52,469 --> 00:17:55,837
three buses and a long bike ride
away from here.
432
00:17:55,873 --> 00:17:57,707
- Brendan...
- No, Lisa.
433
00:17:57,740 --> 00:17:59,040
I can't put you through that.
434
00:17:59,076 --> 00:18:00,809
I guess this relationship is over
435
00:18:00,844 --> 00:18:04,247
until this town invests in mass transit.
436
00:18:06,616 --> 00:18:07,884
[CRIES]
437
00:18:07,917 --> 00:18:11,053
I'll never see him again.
438
00:18:11,087 --> 00:18:13,855
Lisa, I'm glad you didn't choose me.
439
00:18:13,891 --> 00:18:15,958
No woman is worth learning music.
440
00:18:15,992 --> 00:18:17,626
All this time I've been choosing jazz
441
00:18:17,661 --> 00:18:19,494
over doing my reps.
442
00:18:19,529 --> 00:18:21,797
Well, my reps never let me down.
443
00:18:21,832 --> 00:18:23,833
Lift weights, get dates.
444
00:18:23,866 --> 00:18:25,968
Lift weights, get dates.
445
00:18:26,002 --> 00:18:28,671
Well, I guess I'm alone for the moment.
446
00:18:28,704 --> 00:18:30,506
And I like it.
447
00:18:30,540 --> 00:18:32,240
- Good for Lisa.
- She's better off alone.
448
00:18:32,276 --> 00:18:33,808
She doesn't need a man.
449
00:18:33,844 --> 00:18:35,577
Wait a minute, everybody. Even though
450
00:18:35,612 --> 00:18:37,646
the most interesting and
emotionally compelling part
451
00:18:37,681 --> 00:18:39,648
is over, we still have one performer
452
00:18:39,682 --> 00:18:42,417
who says he will "blow you away."
453
00:18:42,451 --> 00:18:45,887
So please welcome the original
Dennis the Chemist,
454
00:18:45,923 --> 00:18:47,455
Bart Simpson.
455
00:18:47,490 --> 00:18:49,491
♪
456
00:18:54,030 --> 00:18:56,598
Drop the beaker, Screwy Pasteur.
457
00:18:56,633 --> 00:18:57,967
[CHUCKLES]
458
00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,736
No. I wasn't doing anything bad.
459
00:19:00,770 --> 00:19:02,305
Pour the beaker and you'll see.
460
00:19:02,338 --> 00:19:05,173
We are not gonna let you
mix those chemicals.
461
00:19:05,208 --> 00:19:07,175
We got a tip from an anonymous source
462
00:19:07,210 --> 00:19:09,045
named Seymour Skinner.
463
00:19:09,078 --> 00:19:11,547
Do you even know what "anonymous" means?
464
00:19:11,582 --> 00:19:13,281
Uh, helpful?
465
00:19:13,317 --> 00:19:14,416
[MARGE GROANS]
466
00:19:14,451 --> 00:19:15,917
Mom, I'm innocent.
467
00:19:15,952 --> 00:19:17,553
You believe me, don't you?
468
00:19:17,587 --> 00:19:20,056
Oh, if he's lying,
I'll never forgive him.
469
00:19:20,089 --> 00:19:22,724
If he's telling the truth,
he'll never forgive me.
470
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:26,061
[SHORT CHUCKLE] Glad I'm not you.
471
00:19:26,096 --> 00:19:29,230
Bart, sweetie,
I'll pour the beaker for you.
472
00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:30,932
[YELPS, WHIMPERS]
473
00:19:30,968 --> 00:19:32,835
[GRUNTING]
474
00:19:34,938 --> 00:19:36,939
♪
475
00:19:43,113 --> 00:19:45,047
ALL: Ooh!
476
00:19:45,082 --> 00:19:47,115
Ah!
477
00:19:48,951 --> 00:19:51,386
He's innocent. But then
who put the sulfuric acid
478
00:19:51,421 --> 00:19:53,279
in Superintendent Chalmers' drink?
479
00:19:53,279 --> 00:19:54,423
I did.
480
00:19:54,458 --> 00:19:56,925
- Willie! Why?
- Why?
481
00:19:56,960 --> 00:20:00,028
Because, Seymour,
I was trying to kill you.
482
00:20:00,063 --> 00:20:02,397
[LISPING] Well, that's okay. Good man.
483
00:20:02,432 --> 00:20:03,932
- But...
- Quiet, Seymour.
484
00:20:03,967 --> 00:20:05,601
The man's got a dream.
485
00:20:05,635 --> 00:20:07,269
Mmm.
486
00:20:07,304 --> 00:20:10,205
I never doubted you.
487
00:20:10,240 --> 00:20:11,807
Well, you should have.
488
00:20:14,310 --> 00:20:16,311
♪
489
00:20:20,856 --> 00:20:25,077
_
490
00:20:25,891 --> 00:20:28,692
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
491
00:20:28,727 --> 00:20:30,827
This episode was supposed
to have been a parody
492
00:20:30,862 --> 00:20:33,830
of Moonlight, not La La Land.
493
00:20:33,865 --> 00:20:36,200
Moonlight? But none of us have seen it.
494
00:20:36,233 --> 00:20:38,801
We have the DVD.
We could watch it tonight.
495
00:20:38,836 --> 00:20:41,137
Either that or X-Men: Apocalypse.
496
00:20:41,172 --> 00:20:42,640
ALL: X-Men!
497
00:20:42,673 --> 00:20:44,674
I'd like to see Moonlight.
498
00:20:44,699 --> 00:20:52,431
- Sync and corrections by ByDem -
- www.addic7ed.com -
35098
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