Original subtitles

Ruth: Okay, there, you've got it.

What do you think? Gabe: Uh-huh.

I think, uh... Which one do you like?

Well, you know,

I had a hard time choosing.

Is this it? That's it.

What do you think of this one?

What do you think?

Pretty good, huh?

Gabe: It's definitely...

Ruth: And then, if you come over here...

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

A touch more balsamic.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Vroom!

Pew! Pew!

Aah! Danny!

Danny! Leave your brother alone!

Daddy! Danny's bothering me!

♪ ♪

Kids! Wash up for dinner.

Danny: They're here!

Hi, guys! Hi!

Boots off.

Get your boots off! Careful!

Hi! Hi!

Ciao!

Welcome back. Hi!

Where's Tom? Uh...

Had to go to DC.

Tonight?

Bummer. Yeah.

Oh, well. More food for us.

Gabe: And this market that she took us to.

Karen: Emilia took us shopping.

Wow. Gabe: Campo di Fiori.

This outdoor market.

Fish, produce, you name it.

So aromatic, so colorful.

And the faces!

Gabe: I got some great shots!

Karen: Now, this is someone who's been cooking for 75 years.

Can you imagine? Wow.

Her relationship to food,

it's so primal, so sexy, really.

Gave us a great angle for our piece.

Karen: Regular or decaf?

Uh, better make it decaf.

The traffic to her place, harrowing, truly.

What are you complaining about? I did the driving.

She did. She's amazing!

She drives like a New York cabbie.

She does! I couldn't drive I was just too culture-shocked.

I was afraid I'd get us all killed.

Our bodies'd have to be shipped home

by the State Department.

You and Tom would become the boys' guardians,

raise them on processed food.

Is that really what was going through your head?

Absolutely.

You are one morbid dude, my darling.

Yes, but I'm all yours.

So, uh, did you ever get to Rome?

What? This is Rome, Beth.

Yeah, Emilia lives just outside of Rome. Oh, of course, I'm sorry.

I thought this was Florence you were talking about.

No, no! We haven't even gotten to Florence yet. Is this really boring?

No, not at all! It is.

No, no, I want to hear about it. I do. We'll shut up.

Go on. I want to hear about it. I do. Okay.

Well, let's get straight to lunch.

Oh, so we get there in one piece.

Yes, and she's preparing this lunch. Oh, this feast!

Oh. Oh, tell-- The pomodoro.

Tell her about the pomodoro. She had these plum tomatoes

that she picked straight out of her garden.

You wouldn't believe how red these tomatoes were.

Sweet! Buttery. So soft.

And then she just took 'em

and she crushed 'em in her hands.

In her gnarled little hands, this--

It was a riot, this little old lady.

It was. I mean, she was, like, really tiny.

She was like four ten, or something.

No, no, she wasn't. She had to be, honey!

She was definitely under five feet.

No, she wasn't under. Think about it.

She was like up to here on me.

Karen: No, honey, she wasn't. Gabe: Yes, she was. Yes, she was.

Don't you remember how-- Anyway...

Oh, the pomodoro. Oh!

Yes, the pomodoro was amazing.

Gabe: And simple. Danny: Dad!

Karen: Amazingly simple. Yes?

Danny: Put on a tape. We want to watch a tape, please.

Gabe: You can do it, Danny!

No, Dad, I can't do it! Yes, you can, Danny.

You do it all the time! I can't do it!

I want you to do it! Will you just go do it?

He can do it. He knows how to do it. Dad!

We want to watch Willy Wonka! It isn't working!

Make sure the TV is on channel three. What?!

Please, Gabe. I hate it when you shout back and forth like that.

Just go up there and talk to them.

Okay, I'll go up.

I'll be right there! Just don't talk about Florence without me.

Boy: Ha-ha!

Laurie: Stop that!

So, um...

is everything...?

Was dinner-- No, no, dinner was great.

The lamb and risotto, everything was fabulous.

I overcooked the risotto.

It was a little gummy. Not at all. It was perfect.

We've been running off at the mouth all night. I'm sorry.

No, no, you're excited.

I'm jealous. Sounds like a great trip.

It was. Next time, you and Tom have got to come with us.

Mm-hmm. We would have a blast, don't you think?

Oh, yeah. Just the four of us.

Leave the kids with Tom's sister.

They'll survive.

With Danny and Isaac, we came home, and they were like,

"Oh, hello. You again."

Are you okay?

Yeah, I...

I just-- I think I have--

a migraine coming on, that's all.

Well, lay off the wine.

I am. I have been.

I'll get you some Motrin.

Oh! I almost forgot.

We got you guys something.

Really? How nice.

Karen, thank you so much.

They're place mats.

Yes.

From Sienna. We spent the day there.

Gabe: You should see all four kids,

all in a row, watching Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

for like the 97th time.

What

What's the matter? Did I miss something?

Tom's leaving me.

What?! He's leaving me.

Karen: What are you talking about?

He doesn't love me anymore.

He's leaving me. He's left me!

He's gone.

What happened?

He says he's in love with someone else. Gabe: Who?

Gabe! Well, what? I want to know if it's someone we know.

Oh, it's okay. I don't know. Some...

stewardess. A stewardess?

Tom is in love with a stewardess?

God, that's so tacky!

He's been traveling so much. Nancy, her name is.

How long has this been goin' on?

A few months, apparently.

Karen: A few months?

When did you find out?

Last week.

While you were away.

He confessed.

We had a fight about the dog. He hates the dog.

If the dog chews on the rug, naturally, it's my fault, so...

He told me he was miserable.

That he's always been miserable.

What?

He's been miserable for so long,

he doesn't even remember what it was like to be happy.

Tom said that?

He said this isn't the life he had in mind for himself.

If he were to stay married to me, it would kill him.

He would die young. Gabe: Jesus.

Did you know about this?

Did he say anything to you? No! What, no! This is totally--

I didn't have a clue!

We all just went out to dinner together.

I know.

Right before we left, we went

to that Indian place in Branford.

We loved their chicken tikka masala!

Yeah.

Honey...

this can't be happening.

How could he do this?

I just don't understand.

Feel free to jump in anytime!

What? I'm-- I'm listening.

Well, are you getting counseling or something? He doesn't want to.

Oh, come on.

Twelve years, two kids. He doesn't want to?

He wants a divorce. A divorce?

Oh, that is ridiculous!

That's what he says.

He says he's tried for years to work it out.

How

He's had it. He's spent. He can't give it anymore.

He says I've ruined his life.

You know...

he's crazy about you.

Oh! I've seen it!

Karen! You can't fake something like that.

The things he's said to me!

This is not a man who's crazy about me. Believe me.

He's in love with this person.

He is.

He says she's everything I'm not.

What is that supposed to mean?

He says she's completely devoted to him.

Oh, God! Such bullshit! Really!

The-- the stuff pouring out of his mouth,

it's like bad greeting cards.

He says I gave him 75 percent, she gives him 120.

He said that? 120 percent?

He's into percentages?

What's that extra 20 percent supposed to be for?

Karen...

Oh. What? You didn't go

the extra 20 percent?

Apparently not like she does.

Did you know he was so miserable? No!

He says I ignored all the signs.

I didn't hear him.

If only he'd talked to me.

Really talked to me.

He was moody, yeah.

Distracted. I thought it was work

or jetlag.

I'd find him staring off into space,

and I'd ask him what he was thinking,

and he'd always say, "Nothing."

What? He's definitely been going through something.

That much I know.

Like what?

I don't know that I want to go into it.

: It's okay, honey. It's okay.

Gosh.

Inappropriate stuff.

You know, sexual stuff.

We went to the movies to see some kind of

stupid action thing he wanted to see.

Nothing sexy.

And Tom, like, puts my hand in his crotch to, you know,

and I look at him like, "What"

And he's mortally offended.

Was this before or after the girlfriend? Must have been after.

Mm-hmm. Some kind of sexual daring test and I flunked it.

One more nail in the old coffin. You've got it.

You see, one lousy hand job, you could've saved your marriage.

Gabe!

I'm sorry.

So is this why you flew to Washington?

Danny: Dad! Fix the tape!

God! The kids!

Have you told them?

Danny: Fix the tape! Come on! Come upstairs!

Stop shouting! We hear you!

When are you gonna tell them?

I don't know.

Danny: Dad! Come on!

What?! Danny: Come upstairs!

Gabe: Danny, you can fix it!

I showed you, remember?

Gabe, must you?! I'll go up.

No! I'll go!

Danny: I can't do it, Dad! I want you to do it!

Karen: Stop shouting!

I'm coming!

Laurie: Cut it out! Boy: Ha-ha!

Laurie: I'm gonna tell Mommy...

♪ ♪

All those vacations we spent on the Vineyard.

You guys met there.

We...

We had such great times there.

You remember the-- the summer

you and Karen were both pregnant?

How can he just walk away?

I-I don't understand it.

How-- how can he just-- I should get the kids. We should get going.

Do you see another one of these?

Beth.

I'm sorry.

You thought Tom never should have married me.

What? It's okay, Gabe. I know.

Tom told me. No, I never said that.

It's okay.

I just wonder if you were right.

Beth?

Why don't we have dessert?

Oh, I don't know. It's late.

I should be getting home.

Oh, don't! They're riveted!

You-- you don't have to go.

You're right.

What am I runnin' home to?

We'll have it in by the fire.

Go. Sit.

I'm sorry to lay this on you guys.

Oh, hey.

Karen: Don't be silly.

Oh, it's the last thing you were expecting tonight, huh?

Oh, God, yes.

Beth: Ooh.

Do you want to do the honors? Sure.

That looks so good. What is it?

Limone-mandorle-polenta.

Beth: Mandorle? Gabe: Almond.

Hmm?

Instead of white flour, you use polenta.

Mm. It's delicious.

Mmm. I think it's great.

You don't think I could have beaten the eggs a little longer?

Don't you think it could be a little fluffier?

No, I think it's good.

It's wonderful.

Too much vanilla.

Mm, possibly. Mm-hmm.

I feel so much better now that I told you.

All night, I thought I was gonna burst.

You're my best friends, you know?

Of course we are. Of course.

My best friends in the world.

Mm! This is so good.

♪ ♪

Laurie: Bye-bye! Sammy: Later, Uncle Gabe!

Bye. Come on, Mom, it's raining!

Bye! Bye! Bye, kids!

Thanks again! Drive careful!

Feet in. Keep your feet off the seat.

That's it.

♪ ♪

Come on, sleepy boy.

Come on, Laurie.

Laurie, please.

Sarge! Down boy! Shh!

Sarge! I'm too tired to brush my teeth.

I don't care, just go to bed.

You mean, I don't have to?

No, darling, just go to bed.

Beth: Sleep tight.

What do you think of the Shiraz?

Astringent.

Mm-hmm, mm-hmm.

I think so too.

Can you imagine what it would be like?

You spend your entire adult life with someone

and it turns out that person,

the one person

that you completely entrusted your fate to,

is an impostor?

Can you imagine?

Now, wait a minute, honey.

We don't know the whole story.

What is there to know? He was duplicitous.

He cheated on her. Well, yeah, yeah, but it can't be as simple as that, Karen.

You know that. It never is.

That snake!

Honey, you're talking about someone who,

like up until two hours ago,

you thought was the salt of the Earth.

I know. I was wrong.

I can't believe I could be so wrong about a person.

Have I ever been so wrong about someone?

God! What does this say about my judgment?

Oh come on, Karen. Now he's the same person

you've known and loved for years.

No! No, he's not.

He couldn't be! I'm beginning to think he never was that person.

Oh, honey, he-- He's very seductive, your friend.

He had us convinced he was true blue. He really did.

What a simpatico guy.

Decent, loving, hard-working.

A good father. Well, he's all those things, so he made a transgression.

A transgression?

This is more than a transgression!

How could I ever look at him in the eye again?

I can't after what he's done to Beth and the kids.

So what do we do? We abandon him?

He is my oldest friend.

I don't expect you to do anything.

Do whatever you want.

I'm sayin' I can't look at him anymore.

Maybe he really is in trouble.

Maybe he is.

Now, what kind of friends would we be

if we just went right ahead and punished him.

You know, I have a feeling that Beth is doing

a pretty damn good job of punishing him herself.

She is the injured party.

What She's the injured party.

I mean, so, what? We can only be friends with her?

I'm telling you, I can't be friends with him anymore.

You can be friends with whomever you like.

As far as I'm concerned,

someone who conducts their life like this is not to be trusted.

You are so strict.

I am not strict. I'm principled.

You can't fault me for being principled.

Yeah, but doesn't forgiveness enter into it for you? Some things are not forgivable.

Or are you too principled for that? This is not forgivable.

Oh, boy! That's too easy.

I'm sorry. Actions have consequences.

Remind me never to get on your bad side.

You do somethin' like this,

I'm tellin' you right now, you are out of here.

Really? You better believe it.

None of that sleeping in the den shit.

If he's gonna decimate his family,

he doesn't deserve to sleep under the same roof.

I'm sorry. Wow.

You mean, if in a moment of weakness,

I sleep with a checkout girl or something,

and I'm foolish enough to confess to you

and beg for your forgiveness, you're gonna what?

You're gonna tell me to go fuck myself.

That's right.

You mean, we still couldn't be friends?

No way! Are you kidding?

We couldn't even be civil to one another?

At least I know where you stand.

As if you had any doubt.

♪ ♪

Sergeant! Be quiet!

Tom : Hey, hey. Shh! Shh! Shh! Sarge.

Sarge, quiet.

Okay, okay. Shh! Shh! Shh! Shh!

Good boy. Quiet, Sarge.

God damn it. Down. Down.

Shh, Sarge. Go to your place.

♪ ♪

Sergeant, damn it! Be quiet!

Jesus! Sorry, I didn't mean to--

Couldn't you at least knock?

I'm sorry.

You can't just come and go as you please anymore now, Tom. Shh.

If you're gonna go, go.

Otherwise I'm gonna have to change the locks.

I didn't come here to fight, all right?

I saw the light on, I just wanted to say hi.

Hi.

Why aren't you in DC?

My flight was canceled. They closed the airport.

So, why didn't you get a room at the airport?

There were no rooms at the airport.

Everything was booked.

Everything?

Tom: There was not a room to be had.

I swear, you should have seen what was goin' on there.

Everybody was pushin' and shouting.

I just didn't have it in me to stay and sleep on the floor.

Why didn't you call your friend, the stewardess?

Travel agent.

Whatever.

I did.

And

With all her many connections?

I was 45 minutes from home.

All I could think about was... coming home.

Don't worry. I'm sleeping in the den.

Who's worried?

I washed your sheets. I wasn't expecting you back.

♪ ♪

Well... good night.

Your boots are wet.

Hmm?

Oh. I'm sorry.

I looked in on the kids.

Sammy is snorin' his head off in there.

He's getting a cold.

Oh, no. His nose was running all night.

I gave him some Tylenol before we left Karen and Gabe's.

Liquid or chewable?

Liquid.

Wow.

And he let you?

He usually puts up such a fight.

Remember how he used to make himself gag?

Yeah, well, look. I'd really like to be alone right now if you don't mind.

Yeah, sure.

So, how was dinner?

Fabulous, you know.

These incredible recipes they picked up in Italy.

Pumpkin risotto, grilled lamb.

Mm. That does sound good.

You didn't bring any home by any chance, did you?

No, I did not.

So, how are they? They're fine, you know.

As always.

They went on and on about Italy.

Thank God their slides weren't back yet.

What'd you tell 'em?

About what? About my not being there.

I said you had to go to DC.

They accepted that?

Why shouldn't they accept that?

You're always going somewhere.

So, what'd they say?

What do you mean, "What did they say?"

What did they say about what? About my not being there.

They said they were sorry.

Sorry about what?

Sorry about you not being there.

Jesus! Are you gonna cross

Look! I'm tired. I'm going to sleep.

No, I'm just trying to get an idea of what you talked about.

I told you! Italy and stuff!

They talked about this famous old Italian cook

they're doin' a piece on for the Times.

And?

And I don't know!

We talked about a lot of things! What do we ever talk about?

I don't know. What do we talk about?

Movies.

Kids, money, news. I don't know.

What we saw, what we read.

Karen's mom has cataracts. She has to have surgery.

Hmm. That it?

I don't know, Tom.

I don't remember every single goddamn thing.

You mean to tell me the whole evening went by

without a word about us?

You are so paranoid, you know that? Oh, really

Oh, look! I'm really not in the mood for this.

Tom: You told them! Beth: What?

God! You... You told them, you did!

Oh, God. I can tell!

You want to wake up the house? I knew I shouldn't have trusted you!

We were gonna get a sitter and tell 'em together, remember?

Face-to-face. That's all I asked! If it was really so important to you,

why didn't you just come tonight instead of running off to be with your girlfriend?

Where were the kids? What?

Where were the kids when you told them?

I don't know.

You don't know? Were they sitting there?

No, of course not. They were upstairs, I guess, watching a tape.

What were they watching? What?

What tape were they watching? Jesus, Tom, I don't know!

You don't know what tape your own children were watching?

Oh, for God sakes, I don't know. Um...

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Okay.

So, the kids are upstairs watching

Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory,

and you're where? This is ridiculous.

No, I want to get the whole picture.

They're upstairs, and you're where? The living room?

At the table. Middle of dinner?

Right before dessert. What was it?

What?

The dessert.

Some kind of lemon almond cake made with polenta.

Was it great?

Yes!

Okay, so you're sitting there--

Tell me!

We were sitting there, and...

I lost it.

Everything just spilled out.

What'd you spill? Oh, this is sick.

No, I want to know what you spilled.

If you're gonna be speaking for both of us-- So what!

So what if they know? So they know!

They were bound to find out. That's not the point.

You have the advantage now.

What? I do not!

They heard your side of the story first.

Of course they're gonna side with you. It's only natural.

Nobody's taking sides! Oh, don't be naive.

You know how it is. You've prejudiced my case.

I have not, Tommy!

I was very even-handed. How can you say that?

You're sitting there turning on the tears.

I was not turning on anything!

Fuck you! I stated the facts. They were very sympathetic.

Of course they were sympathetic.

You won them over! I did not!

Stop saying that!

I told them what happened, okay?

Everything?

Yes.

And what'd they say?

They were shocked.

They were sad.

They were? Well, what do you think?

They're our best friends. Of course they were shocked. They were terribly upset.

But sad for you, though, right?

Because I'm such a bastard, right? It was sad for everybody!

They were sad for the kids. Did you tell 'em what you did to me?

How you killed my self Oh, Christ!

Tom! Huh

Did you tell 'em how you refused to hear me?

How I tried to get you to listen to me for years?

No more of this please! Did you tell 'em that?

I cried out for help so many times.

How did you cry out, Tom, by fucking stewardesses?

God damn it! She's not a stewardess!

Were your cries detectable by human ears

or could just the dogs in the neighborhood hear them?

That's it. Go ahead. Cut me down.

Castrate me all over again!

Castrate you?

You know, I hear you say this stuff, Tom,

and that someone that I could have been married to for 12 years,

that I could have had children with

would be capable of spouting such banal bullshit! Even now, you're doing it.

Even now, you refuse to hear me. I hear you!

I hear you!

Christ!

Tell me your girlfriend feeds you this crap, Tommy.

I can't believe you came up with it on your own. Don't patronize me!

I don't need Nancy to tell me what I'm feeling. Don't talk to me about being patronized!

You patronized me from the very beginning!

You never took me seriously as an artist.

Never! Oh, for God's sake.

You never really supported me.

I supported you our entire marriage!

How can you say I didn't support you?

You needed your own space,

I built you a studio up in the attic.

God knows what the hell you do up there all day long!

All I ever wanted from you was respect.

You know that?

For me, for my art!

Oh, your art!

Your art! Oh, what's the use?

Get out of here. Go. Get out.

Hey, you know what it's like trying to support something you don't believe in?

It's exhausting!

I don't want to talk anymore. All the lying.

The lying to you, the lying to myself. Get away! Get out!

What was I supposed to tell you? That I thought your art sucked?

Huh? Is that what I was supposed to say? Bastard.

That I thought it was just an excuse not to get a fucking job

like everybody else... You are such a bastard.

...and really do something with your life! How dare you!

I couldn't do that. How dare you!

How could I when everything depended

upon perpetuating this myth of talent.

You! You want to fight?

You want to hit me? You want to hit me?

Go ahead! Hit me!

Hit me! Let go of me!

Let go of me!

Prick!

Bitch!

Ball breaker! Liar!

Dilettante!

Look at me. Look what you've done to me.

Look what you've done to me!

Right now, I could kill you.

I could fucking kill you. Try it.

I dare you.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yes!

Oh, yeah! Yes!

Oh! You drive me crazy!

Yeah, that's it.

Gabe: The thing is,

you never know what couples are like when they're alone.

You never do.

You know that.

There's just no way of knowing.

♪ ♪

Good night.

♪ ♪

Why were you so quiet at dinner tonight?

What do you mean?

When Beth was telling us, you were so silent.

I wasn't silent. I was shocked.

I was stunned. You let me do most of the talking.

Well, that's not unusual.

Well, hey, no, I-I mean it, you do do most of the talking.

I do not. Yes, you do.

You generally have more to say on any given subject than I do.

But that's why we work so well together.

You talk, I write, you edit.

You're evading. No, I'm not.

Evading what? Don't get defensive.

I just think all this martial talk is too close to home.

I think it's made you very uncomfortable.

What? Made me uncomfortable? Yes.

Well, you have to admit, it's not the most pleasant of subjects.

Oh, don't play dumb with me, Gabe!

What? You're playing dumb!

No, I'm not. I don't know what you're talking about. You do that you know.

Whenever I want you to talk to me about something like this,

something important-- Oh, great. You're trying to pick a fight with me now or what?

Shh! What do you want me to say?

That this whole thing scares the shit out of me?

Well, it does, okay? It does me too.

Gabe: Who the hell is that?

Gabe: Oh, shit. You're not gonna believe this.

I think it's Tom. You're kidding!

It is Tom. Well, he's supposed to be in Washington.

Well, he's not. He just pulled into our driveway.

I don't want to see him. Tell him I went to bed.

Karen! Come on, you can't do that.

He's not here to see me anyway.

He's here to see you! He's your friend!

Karen, please! Don't leave me alone with him!

God.

Oh, hi.

Hi.

I know this is crazy.

It's really late and everything. It's okay. Come in, come in.

Tom: I just had to see you guys.

I-- I know. I-I know.

Here's another fine mess I've gotten myself into.

Gabe : I'll say.

It's okay, Karen.

You can hug me.

I'm not contagious.

Thanks.

Well, Beth said you were in Washington.

Yeah, I never, uh, I never got there.

The weather-- Oh, it's a hell of a night to be out on the road.

Oh, God, I was slippin' and slidin' out there.

I wasn't just gonna drop in on you guys like this.

I was gonna call you on the way over,

but I forgot to recharge my phone. I'm sorry, Karen.

Don't apologize to me.

So, you had dinner yet?

Uh, actually, no.

Just a crappy sandwich at the airport.

Let me fix you a plate! No, no, no. You don't have to do that.

Gabe: No problem, really.

It's so late and everything.

Tom's right. It's really late.

Gabe: Oh, don't worry about it.

A little light supper will be just fine.

Thank you.

Hey, you wouldn't happen to have

any of that lemon-almond,

uh, polenta cake left would you?

Gabe: As a matter of fact, we do. Tom: Oh, great.

She told you about that?

Yeah, she said it was wonderful.

You talk about cake?

Yeah, why not? We talk about it, why?

You two can bond. I'm going to bed.

Tom: Karen, wait. Listen.

I know this is awkward.

Not at all.

Tom: It's a lot to digest, all at once.

You're mad at me, I can tell.

Karen: I am not. Karen, Karen.

See, this is just what I wanted to avoid.

You've already made up your mind.

No, we haven't. I-I wanted us to tell you together.

Yeah, well, I really don't feel like gettin' into this with you right now.

I didn't want another night to go by without seeing you guys.

Good night. Gabe: Honey.

Karen, aren't you willing to hear me out?

I mean, really, don't you at least owe that to me?

Owe it to our friendship?

I mean, you guys mean too much to me-- Gabe: He's right.

Okay, Tom, you've made your point.

You drove all the way over here in a storm

to lobby for our support.

That's very politic of you!

I'm not lobbying for anything!

I just think you need to hear me out.

You can't just go by what Beth says.

It's pretty unambiguous, isn't it, Tom?

No! It's not! I-I'm not the villain here. Ha!

And if you insist on seeing me as the villain,

there's things I could tell you about Beth.

Oh boy, there is just no end to how low you will stoop.

Karen! Things that'll put a little perspective on all this.

She tell you how she wouldn't touch me anymore?

I don't want to hear it. Huh?

Beth tell you how she stopped touchin' me?

I don't want to hear it! No, you just want to be pissed at me. That's fine.

Any man who would do this to his family...

Do you think I would do something

like break up my family lightly?

Do you, Karen?

Is that what you think of me?

I don't know what I think of you.

All I know is she better be worth it.

Karen. I mean, it is so squalid.

A stewardess?

Is that what she told you? Oh, come on, Tom!

Can't you do better than that?

Nancy is not a stewardess! She's a travel agent!

I don't care what she is!

The point is you fucked her! Karen!

What are you so angry about? I think you had better go to bed.

Maybe I better.

Good night, boys.

Tom: Oh! Oh, my.

It's just great.

Mm! Good?

How'd you do it?

It's very simple. You just marinate it overnight.

Lemon juice, olive oil, garlic,

rosemary.

Just throw it on the grill, sear it.

Fantastic. Thanks.

I wish you'd confided in me, Tommy.

I wish you'd told me what was going on in your head.

What? Then you'd try and reason with me?

Yes.

Maybe I didn't want to be reasonable.

I've been reasonable my whole life.

I haven't gone crazy, Gabe. I've gone sane.

I feel better now than I have in a long, long time.

Well, what is it, Tommy? Is it just sex?

Just sex?

No. It's not just sex.

Of course, that's part of it.

You know lately, ironically, the sex has been great.

What? You mean, you and Beth?

Mm-hmm. Wait, you and Beth are still having sex?

Yeah, why? Well, I don't know.

I must be really out of it.

I just, I always thought that really great sex

was the product of trust and love

and mutual respect, and...

You're kidding, right?

Don't underestimate rage.

Rage can be an amazing aphrodisiac.

Huh.

It's really polenta?

Yeah. Uh, there's no white flour in it,

just polenta.

You mean that you and Beth are still making love?

I wouldn't exactly call it making love.

Beth really wouldn't touch me anymore.

What do you mean?

I mean, the way that somebody who loves you might casually...

slip a hand through your arm

or onto your shoulder or somethin'.

I did an experiment.

♪ ♪

I decided I wasn't gonna touch her,

and I'd see how long before she touched me.

I'm not talking about sex now.

I'm talking about holding hands,

a good-night kiss.

She wouldn't touch me, Gabe.

At all.

I gave it a week, I couldn't stand it, I broke down and cried.

I mean, I don't know about you,

but I don't want to go through my whole life

hoping I'm gonna get lucky with my own wife.

I mean, you go to bed and you think there'll be sex,

and then you say something

of absolutely no consequence whatsoever,

and it...

pisses her off, and the mood is gone,

and it's lights out, and that's it.

I must have masturbated more than any married man in history.

I doubt that.

Besides, who ever said that marriage meant

sex 24 hours on demand?

I'm not asking for it 24 hours a day.

I'm just asking for a little affection.

Have there been other women?

No! Okay, sorry.

No. Gabe, there've been no other women.

Been opportunities, though.

I mean, when you're out of town as much as I am,

when you're on the road,

lonely, far from home.

It doesn't seem like you're livin' in real time.

I'd be in some hotel bar and strike up a conversation

with some female colleague

or some divorcee with big hair.

I'd make 'em laugh, and they'd look pretty, and...

I'd feel competent again, you know?

I'd think, "Gee, maybe I am still

clever and attractive after all."

There'd be that electricity in the air.

That kind of buzz that I hadn't felt since college.

Do you remember that?

Where a single move,

any move at all, and there'd be sex.

But I'd say good night,

go back to my room, call Beth,

out of guilt or hope,

or both.

Get some shit about something that I neglected to do,

or did badly.

And by the time I met Nancy,

she made me feel good from the first time I talked to her on the phone.

I hadn't even laid eyes on her yet.

She booked all my travel. Uh-huh.

She had this great laugh

and this flirty sense of humor, and she says,

"We've been talkin' on the phone for weeks. I want to meet you already."

You know? I started to think, "Why the hell not?"

What am I saving myself for?

This hyper-critical woman waiting for me back home?

Who looks at me with

withering disappointment all the time.

This accusatory,

"How can you be so thoughtless?" look.

So on the one hand, there's this delightful woman

who makes me feel worthwhile,

and this other woman who makes me feel like shit.

Who would you choose?

So what happens now, Tommy?

What do you mean, "What happens now?"

Oh, I mean what are you gonna do?

Are you gonna go to someone?

Go to someone?

Yeah, like a counselor or therapist or something?

Well, what would be the point?

They point, Tom, hey. We're talkin' about your family.

But the marriage is over.

What have I been telling you? How do you know that it's over?

Because I know.

Because as far as I'm concerned, it is over.

It has been for me for a long time.

Yeah, that's the way you feel right now.

In the heat of the moment.

But don't you want to be absolutely sure

that you're making the right decision?

I am making the right decision.

Are you questioning my decision?

No, I just mean, if I-- if I were you,

I would-- You're not me.

Okay, Tom.

What I'm trying to say is, if I were you,

I would want to be certain

that there was absolutely no hope whatsoever.

Oh, man! I mean, how can you walk away, Tommy?

How can you just throw up your hands and walk away?

I-I-I don't get it. Christ, Gabe.

Twelve years. Don't you think you owe that to your kids?

I stuck it out this long for my kids.

It doesn't do anybody any good anymore.

It doesn't make any sense.

What if this is just a transient thing? Oh, shit.

Or midlife crisis or something.

I mean, don't you want to know if it's something that'll pass

before you do something irrevocable?

This is not what I wanted from you, all right?

If you were really my friend...

Of course, I'm your friend, asshole.

What do you mean, "If I was really your friend?"

If you were really my friend, you'd just listen.

Just listen?

You mean, I'm not supposed to say a word?

I don't want your advice.

I don't want to know what you think.

I just want you to hear me, is that askin' too much?

Jesus, Tom. You drop this bomb on us.

We're gonna have opinions.

Well, I don't want to hear 'em, okay?

I've made up my mind.

I just need you to hear me out.

Okay.

Go ahead. Talk.

♪ ♪

Never mind.

No. Talk. I-I-I'm all ears.

My lips are sealed. Good.

Hey, Tommy, don't leave.

♪ ♪

I...

I hope you never know what loneliness is really like.

I hope you never do.

Come on, stay. No.

I'll let you talk, I will. I-I'll keep my mouth shut.

Thanks for dinner.

Uh, wait a minute.

Tommy. I'll see you.

♪ ♪

Isaac: Daddy?

Isaac?

What are you doing up?

Isaac: I heard yelling.

Oh.

Well, let me take you back up.

I thought I heard Tom.

Well, yeah, you did.

He sounded mad. Mmm.

Are we gonna see him again? Oh, sure, we are.

Of course, we are.

Dad? Yes, sweetie.

Isaac: Can we go skiing tomorrow?

Gabe: Well, we'll see.

See what the weather's like.

♪ ♪

Al: Hey! Almost nine pounds.

Gabe: Perfect.

Al: Hey, do I understand congratulations are in order?

Thanks. When'd you do it?

Uh, five and a half weeks ago.

Almost six.

But who's counting, right? Right, yeah.

Eight ought to do it.

Great. Give my best to your folks.

I will. Thanks.

♪ When life is too much ♪

Al: How are you folks today?

♪ Roll with it, baby ♪

Gabe.

♪ Don't stop and lose your touch ♪

♪ Oh no, baby ♪

♪ Hard times knocking ♪

Woman: Smile. Okay. ♪ On your door ♪

♪ I'll tell them you ♪

♪ Ain't there no more ♪

♪ Get on through it ♪

♪ Roll with it, baby ♪

♪ Luck will come and then slip away ♪

♪ You've gotta move, bring it back to stay ♪

♪ Roll with it, baby ♪

♪ You and me ♪

♪ Roll with it, baby ♪

♪ Hang on and just ♪

♪ Roll with it, baby ♪

♪ Hey ♪

Hi!

Honey! I'm home!

Ha, ha, ha. Oh, nice.

♪ ♪

Here, take this one.

Tom here yet?

Nope, no sign of him.

What about your friend Beth?

She's not back from the beach.

Think we've got enough to drink?

We're gonna need every last drop.

Woman: No!

Man: Oh, no! Woman: Stop it!

No, no! Stop!

No. Stop! Come here.

Man: Come on.

♪ ♪

Did you get a load of those relaxation tapes

your friend Beth listens to?

She listens to them constantly.

Gabe! What's she so tense about anyway?

Well, she's a little high-strung.

High

Oh, great.

Hey, I know.

Let's introduce her to Tom.

Tom'll bring her down to Earth.

Beth's fine.

And besides, I do think Tom could be good for her.

He's essentially a good guy waiting to happen.

He just needs to find the right woman.

Uh-huh. And Beth is the right woman?

I don't know. Maybe.

What's wrong with Beth?

Did you get a good look at her sketchbook?

Whoa.

Well, there's no harm in introducing them.

What's the worst that could happen?

♪ ♪

What are you doing?

Nothing.

No, come on, honey. What are you doing?

Can't I kiss my bride?

Go ahead and kiss your bride.

But can you tell me, why is it you always get amorous

whenever people are about to arrive any minute?

No, I don't.

Yes, you do. What is that about?

Okay, forget it.

Okay, now you're sulking.

I'm not sulking.

Come on, honey.

I'm mincing garlic, you're feeling amorous.

Tell me, what am I supposed to do about that?

You could try putting down the knife.

Uh-oh. What?

You know what time it is?

What?

It's time for me to scare you.

Oh, no, Gabe, please don't. No, I have to.

It's time. No, come on, Gabe.

No, come on, now. Sorry, honey, a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

No, Gabe, please. Sorry, sweetie.

Hon, it's just the way it is.

No, Gabe, come on. Yeah, yeah.

Please, please. I'm sorry it could happen any second now.

Please, please. Any minute.

Please. Any second.

Oh, God.

Works every time.

♪ ♪

Oh!

Gabe. Gabe! What?

Shit! Tom!

Hi!

Tom! Carry on!

Don't mind me. It was just gettin' good.

How long have you been standing there? 10, 15 minutes.

Jerk. Nice to see you, too.

How was the ferry? It was good!

Beautiful. Boy, the ride from Vineyard Haven gets longer every year.

Ah, you just get older every year.

We could have picked you up.

No, I wanted to take my bike.

Beer Yes.

Which? Uh, beer.

So, how are things in the city?

Good, good. Sticky.

So, you guys look pretty good.

You look like you been on your honeymoon or somethin'.

Gabe: Ah, it's funny how that happens.

So, uh, where's this woman you're setting me up with?

It's not a set-up. Did you say it was a set Don't call it a set-up.

That sounds so cheap and scheming.

We just thought you two would like each other.

That's all. I have no problem with cheap and scheming.

It's not like it's a blind date. You already met her.

At our wedding. Yeah, you said. I don't remember.

Remember at the end,

the woman dancing all by herself on the dance floor

doing all that weird Kabuki shit. Gabe!

You're kidding! Her?!

Now, wait a minute. That's not fair.

It was a wedding. She had a buzz on.

She was feelin' expansive.

So that's the woman in question. Mm-hmm.

No, I didn't actually meet her, but I did observe her, yes.

Actually, I think Beth has been under observation.

You know, this is not funny.

Beth is really--

She's a uniquely gifted person.

Mm-hmm. That much seemed clear.

Stop it! Gabe! I'm only joking!

Beth is great.

Yeah. Great. You're going to love her.

And this is not a set-up. Okay.

She here yet?

She drove up with us on Thursday night.

She's probably at the beach painting or something. Oh, she paints?

Mm, she's very good. Well...

I like her stuff. Tom: What does she do?

She does this, um...

I don't know what you'd call it, uh,

expressionistic, uh, neo-psychotic...

Gabe!

What? Why are you doing this?

What does it matter what I think?

Tom can decide for himself if he thinks she's any good.

You're being incredibly negative

and I wish you would cut it out.

He asked me what I thought.

What difference does it make? Jesus.

Gee, it's really nice of you guys

to be setting your friends up.

Guess you just want us to be as happy as you both are.

That is so sweet.

What's for dinner?

Oh, bluefish corn salad. Nothing special.

Oh! That sounds great.

What?

You're gettin' sun.

Yeah, I know.

It looks nice.

Thanks. My hair always lightens in the summer.

Yeah.

What are you doin'?

Beth: Hi! Gabe: Hi.

Karen: Hi! Where'd you go?

Oh! It was glorious!

The light on the ocean.

I walked all the way down to the beach.

Karen: Boy, that was some walk. I love this place. I am in love.

Tom: Is this your first trip to the Vineyard?

Beth: I walked past those spectacular clay cliffs!

Mmm! The light!

Gabe: I know! I'm tellin' you, the cliffs glow!

They do, don't they?

They're this brilliant terra cotta!

And these people. These beautiful men and women were cavorting in the clay.

Oh, yeah. And the light on their bodies...

Were they naked?

Some of them.

Oh, I'm sorry, Beth. This is-- this is Tom.

Hi, hi.

I remember you. I do remember him. Karen: I knew you would.

No, wait, I think we actually-- At the wedding.

I talked a lot to the woman you were with.

She was a public defender.

Oh! Not anymore.

I mean, she-- she's still a public defender,

I'm just not with her anymore.

Oh, that's too bad.

Not necessarily. Yeah. She seemed great!

As I recall, I talked to her a lot more than you did.

Maybe if you paid her a little more attention?

Gabe: Hey, moving right along her.

Can I get you something to drink? I would love something to drink.

Uh, beer

Red

Mmm. Rum or tonic?

Rum and tonic! That sounds great! You got it.

So, is this your first trip to the Vineyard?

Yeah, it is. (mellow music plays on radio)

And now I see what makes people

so fanatical about this place.

This amazing mix of sand and cliffs and rolling hills. Mm!

Oh! It's magical.

Like Scotland or something. You been to Scotland?

No. Me neither.

I been coming here-- How long have I been comin' here, Gabe?

Uh, first time was the summer

between the freshman and sophomore year,

so that makes it what, twelve years?

Wow, you guys have known each other forever, right? Uh-huh.

First day of freshmen orientation. Was it the first day?

First hour. We met in line.

Gabe: At breakfast, remember? We made gross comments about the food.

Tom: That's right! I forgot about that.

Karen: Even then, you cracked wise about food?

Only now, I get paid for it.

So, I guess I'm supposed to say,

"I've heard so much about you."

Uh, have you?

Mmm, enough. What do you do?

I'm just another 31-year-old lawyer, burnt out,

but hangin' in there for want of anything better to do.

Uh-huh. What about you?

Beth's an artist. Karen.

A damn good artist. No, I'm...

Uh, how do you know Karen?

Beth/Karen: Doubleday. Oh, right.

In house promo.

She wrote the copy, I designed it.

What a team. Are you still there?

No, I got out. I'm, uh, I'm freelancing now.

I'm at Warner. Mm-hmm.

Mass market paperbacks.

Direct mail to booksellers, that sort of thing. Tom: Mm-hmm.

Do me a favor, if I'm still doing this in five years, shoot me.

Okay, if you insist.

So, give me something to do. What can I do?

Mince a shallot.

What's a shallot?

Karen: Beth's really a terrific artist.

I wish you would stop saying that.

Tom: What kind of stuff do you do?

Is it like, uh, expressionistic,

or, uh, neo-psychotic...

Beth: Excuse me?

What, uh, what style do you call it?

I mean, what

Is it realistic? Oh! I hate labels.

Sorry.

Do you know art? Not really.

Then why ask for labels,

why not just take it at face value?

Can I see?

No!

Okay, okay.

Sharing one's art...

comes with trust.

It's a gift.

I never show my art on the first date.

Oh, is this a date?

Thought you guys said this wasn't a date.

Hey, uh, shucking time. Come on.

Tom: So, does it feel different? Being married?

Gabe: It feels, uh, calmer than before, don't you think?

Yeah, that's true.

The social pressure that comes with being single is gone.

We're married.

We're a married couple.

It's strangely comforting.

Uh, I mean, there's no way out now.

You've gone and done it, you might as well relax and enjoy yourself.

Beth: It sounds so wonderful.

When you're single, you expend so much energy. I know.

You're always looking, always feeling scrutinized.

It's exhausting.

I wouldn't mind gettin' married one of these days.

Havin' kids, the whole bit.

So do it.

I mean, this single stuff's getting awfully tired.

I look at you guys, and I think, you know, why not?

What am I so scared of anyway?

I don't know, what are you?

Shit!

What? Oh, nothing.

Oh. Tom: Band

Karen: Bathroom. Oh, I'm sorry.

I just sharpened those knives. I should've warned you.

Beth: It's all right, it's not your fault. Here, leave it.

Beth: It's nothing. God!

All right, where's the patient?

Karen: Over here, Doctor.

Beth: Oh, would everybody please?

I'm all right, really. It's just a stupid cut.

This is gonna hurt you...

a lot more than it's gonna hurt me.

Thank you.

Karen : Go. Oh, oh! Look at that sky.

Oh, I'm so embarrassed.

Don't be.

I feel like such an idiot. Why?

Mm, just trying to be a good little houseguest,

and it's like I end up in the emergency room.

Don't worry about it.

Gabe and Karen's job is to make the rest of the world feel incompetent.

: It's their job.

♪ ♪

There.

So, I do actually remember you from their wedding, too.

You do? Yeah.

What do you remember? You dancing.

Right towards the end when you were-- Oh, God.

I can't believe you saw me. Yeah! I saw you.

Of course I saw you. I was watching you.

You looked beautiful.

I mean, your dancing. It was quite a sight.

Did you, uh, want to go out there?

Yeah. Let me freshen that up for you.

Thanks.

Karen: Wow! Gabe: Isn't that something?

Beth: Tom, you've got to see this!

I will!

So

She's nice.

She's intense.

Better yet, what does she think of me?

I don't know. I think she likes you.

Yeah? Mm-hmm.

Then I like her.

You are so deep.

Karen: Guys! Get out here!

Beth: Tom! You're gonna miss the sunset!

Go. Destiny calls.

Tom: Oh, wow!

Isn't that incredible?

Yeah, it is.

It really is.

♪ ♪

(playing "I'm in the Mood for Love")

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Beth : Hi, if you have a message for Beth, Laurie, or Sam,

you may leave it after the beep.

If you have a message for Tom,

you can try him at 202...

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

Hmm.

♪ ♪

(playing "I'm in the Mood for Love")

Beth: When you promise your little girl

you're gonna call at eight o'clock,

And eight o'clock comes and goes. Karen: Oh, no.

And 9:00 and 10:00. That's terrible.

She's devastated. Sobbing.

He's off somewhere cavorting with his girlfriend,

and Laurie's leaving these heartbreaking messages for him.

"Daddy? Where are you, Daddy?" Oh, God.

He just doesn't get it. Did he finally call?

Yeah, at one o'clock in the morning. No!

"Tell Laurie I'm really sorry." What a schmuck!

You want to tell your daughter you're sorry?

Call her when she's awake and tell her yourself.

Unbelievable.

Was he always like this or is this what happens to people when they break up?

Do they get stupid or what? I know.

I'm telling you, this whole thing with you and Tom.

It's like men get by for years without really talking to you,

and when they finally do, it's to tell you that they're leaving.

Well, you and Gabe talk.

Yeah.

You look wonderful, you really do.

Thank you.

We were worried about you.

Really? You disappeared on us.

Ah, thought you were getting sick of me.

No! I was getting sick of me.

Gabe! Oh, there you are.

Sorry, I'm late. This meeting.

Oh, that's okay.

Good to see you! You too.

God, it's been weeks.

Months.

Uh, beer? Mineral water, please.

Karen still pissed at me?

Um, you could say that.

Boy, she really holds a grudge, doesn't she?

You have to admit this was sort of a big one.

So when'd you get into town?

Uh, this morning. Nancy came with me. What?

Oh, yeah? Yeah.

Oh, she loves New York. Oh.

Thought we'd hang out, see a few shows.

So, you're goin' up to see the kids?

Not this weekend. I got 'em next week.

I'm not gonna mess with that, believe me.

God forbid there's any change of plans, it's like Nuremberg.

You look great.

I feel great. I'm running again. Oh, yeah?

Yeah! Nancy and I, we get up at 6:00.

6:00 Run four or five miles.

Come home, make love in the shower. Uh-huh.

Then I'm off to work.

It totally changed my perspective on my whole day.

Must be those invigorating showers.

Gentlemen, your table is ready.

Great. Put this on my check.

Right this way, please.

So, did I tell you I'm seeing someone.

Karen: Why, you little devil!

What's his name?

David.

Uh

Mm, actually I met him years ago,

like, ten years ago or something.

Uh-huh. Mm. He and Tom used to work together.

Uh-oh. Another lawyer. Yeah, right.

Oh, well, you can't have everything.

Yeah.

Anyway, um...

he just happened to call for Tom.

Yeah? And his marriage was also falling apart.

Uh-huh.

So we met for a drink.

Mmm! And I've been seeing him ever since.

Well, I think it's great you're gettin' your feet wet.

To hell with Tom.

Actually, it's, um...

it's a bit more serious than wet feet.

I'm sorry, isn't this silly?

This is like high school.

How long has this been goin' on?

A few months.

A few months? Mm-hmm.

He's teaching me how to rollerblade. Oh, God!

I'm gettin' pretty good at it, too.

We play hooky some afternoons

and he takes me out to, you know, along the canal.

Do you wear kneepads and a helmet and everything? Yes.

'Cause you cold really hurt yourself on those things. Oh, it's fun.

You should try it. We'll give you and Gabe a lesson.

Oh, yeah, I could just see Gabe!

He's so full of life, David.

So open and optimistic.

He's a playmate, a wonderful playmate.

Boy, that was fast. Tom's barely out the door.

Karen.

Didn't you want to be alone for a while?

You haven't been alone in a dozen years.

I was always alone, don't you see? I spent my marriage alone.

Yeah, but to get involved with someone right away...

I'm in love with him.

How could you be in love with him?

I am. But you only just started seeing him.

Well, I knew him years ago, I said.

There was already a kind of shorthand.

Well, you know,

I can understand this being exciting.

I-I can understand that.

But love?

Why is it so hard to believe?

I fell in love with Tom that first weekend at the Vineyard.

Yeah, look where that got you.

I-I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

It's just that I think you need to be careful.

Karen. You're very vulnerable right now.

I'm gonna marry him.

David is not Tom.

He's not. They're very different men.

There's no hidden agenda with him.

What you see is what you get, you know?

He talks to me.

He tells me what he's thinking.

He lets me in.

I know what I'm doing, Karen.

This is the man I was meant to be with.

I had to survive Tom so I could end up with David.

It was my fate.

That may be, but still,

I wish you would give it some more time.

And let this moment pass?

I don't want to let this moment pass.

Look, why do I even bother?

Here is my chance for a real marriage,

a real partnership.

♪ ♪

But you don't want me to have that, do you?

What an outrageous thing to say!

Of course I do. I'm finally feeling whole,

finally feeling like I'm on the right track

for the first time in my life,

and what do you do?

You undermine me.

I am not undermining you.

I'm only thinking of what is best for you.

Oh, I see. Try being alone for a while.

That'd do you-- What's so great about being alone, huh?

What's so great about it? I would indulge myself.

I would get to know myself better.

That's easy for you to say.

You have Gabe. You have this... life.

You know what I think?

I think you love it when I'm a mess.

That's not true!

Oh, come on. You need me to be a mess.

You're invested in it. Every Karen needs a Beth.

That really isn't fair.

I was the mess, the ditz,

the comic relief.

You got to be Miss... Perfect,

everything just right.

♪ ♪

I had no idea you felt this way.

We can't all be like you, Karen.

God knows, I've tried.

And no matter how much I stir, my soup still sticks to the pot.

We loved nothing more than having you in our home

and cooking you meals.

We loved it, too!

You're my family. I know.

I spent... my first 20 years

doing whatever the hell I could to get away from my family.

And my second 20 years doin' everything I could

to cobble together a family of my own, and I thought...

if I could choose my family,

if I could make my friends my family...

Congratulations.

The family you've chosen is just as fucked up and fallible

as the one you were born into.

How are the boys?

You and Gabe?

We're good.

We're fine.

Thank you.

Tom: The things she's got me doin', Gabe.

Uh-huh.

Lucky you.

Nancy's got more imagination.

More daring, more wisdom.

I mean, it just proves how age is totally irrelevant.

I'm a boy toy at 43.

Uh-huh.

We'll be strollin' along, and she'll just...

put her hand on my ass, or somethin' like that, you know.

Without even thinkin' about it.

You know, with Beth, sex was always up to me.

It was never about her wanting me.

It was never about desire.

It was all about obligation.

And then, once the kids came...

Uh-huh. You know how that is.

Yeah, uh-huh.

Nancy just has to stroke my fingers and I get hard.

Or look at me or laugh a certain way.

You guys ever, uh, talk?

Oh!

God, yes! We ta-- Are you kidding?

We talk all the time. Nancy hears me.

She really hears me.

She saved my life, Gabe.

She really did. She breathed life back into me.

Good.

That's great.

I'm glad.

What?

What are you thinking?

What do you mean?

Come on, I know you. I know that look.

I am just listening.

I mean, you don't want me to say anything, right? Oh, Christ, Gabe!

Isn't that what you said?

I said that to you when I was still very raw.

Oh, and-- and now, you're not so raw?

Well, then, what are the rules then, huh?

You gotta fill me in here, pal.

I gotta know what the rules are

so that I don't step out of bounds. Gabe...

Oh, okay.

You want to know what I'm thinkin'?

Mmm.

I'm thinkin' that I hear you talkin', Tom.

I hear these words comin' out of your mouth,

and you sound like a fucking loony, Tom.

You really do. I'm trying to tell you that I was dying!

You don't understand that, do you?

I was losing the will to live.

Isn't that dying?

The life that I was leading

had no relation to who I was or what I wanted.

It was deadening.

The constant logistics of,

"You take Sam to Lollipop Tennis,

I'll take Laurie to hockey practice."

Yeah, I-I know. No, no, no. Really.

This would pass as conversation in our house.

That dog finished me off.

That dog, Sarge.

It wasn't enough that we had two cats and a fish and a guinea pig.

No, Beth felt the kids had to have a dog,

because she had a dog.

I had just spent my entire adult life

cleaning up one form of shit or another.

Now I was on to dog shit.

I should have gone into waste management.

How do you keep love alive when you're shoveling shit all day long?

Look, hey, we all make sacrifices to our kids.

That's the price we pay for having a family.

Yeah, but you have to really want that. What do you mean?

You and Karen, you really wanted it.

That's what I realized. I never really did.

What are you talkin' about?

Settling down.

Having kids.

It was just another thing that I did

because it was expected of me.

Not because I had any real passion for it.

Like the law.

It was a foregone conclusion since the age of ten

that I would be a lawyer like my father.

I always felt just...

I don't know.

Like inauthentic living this life.

You mean that you felt like a party boy

trapped in the body of a family man?

Is that it? Tom.

I could swear that I actually saw you on a number of occasions

enjoying yourself over the past decade or so. Yes, okay.

But honestly, most of the time, I was--

I was just bein' a good sport.

A good sport? You know what I mean.

Wait a minute, wait. You mean, you were faking it?

You mean to tell me that all those years,

all those years, Tom,

the four of us together,

raising our kids together, all those the dinners,

the vacations, the hours of video tape that you--

And you were just being a good sport? No.

Well, then, what? I-I-I- Gabe.

You gotta stop taking this so personally.

Well, how would you take it then, huh?

You just-- you say that you were wasting your whole life.

That's what you said. I don't mean you and Karen.

I-I don't mean you!

I would never mean you. I--

You're my best friend.

I gotta be able to say this stuff to you.

I'm talking about my marriage. It's not that simple, Tom.

We were all there.

Karen and Danny and Isaac and I,

we were all there.

We were all a part of this terrible life

that you had to get the hell away from.

Isaac? He's totally freaked out by this, by the way.

So when you repudiate your entire adult life--

That's not what I've done.

No, that's essentially what you've done.

And I-I can understand how you might find it necessary to do that,

and it-- it must be strangely exhilarating

blowing everything to bits. Gabe!

I-I mean it!

You-- you build something,

that's precarious even in the best of circumstances,

and you-- you succeed at it.

Or at least, you make it look like you've succeeded.

Your friends all think you have.

I mean, you had us all fooled.

And then one day, you just blow it all to bits.

That's like I watch Danny and Isaac sometimes.

They dump all their toys on the floor,

all their Legos and blocks and train tracks,

and they build these elaborate cities,

and they-- they spend hours at it.

And they'll plan and collaborate

and squabble and negotiate,

but they'll do it.

And then what do they do?

They wreck it.

No pause to revel on what they've accomplished,

no sigh of satisfaction.

They just launch into a full-throttle attack,

bombs bursting, and they just tear the whole damn thing apart.

♪ ♪

Look, I just want you to be my friend.

That's all. I just want you to be happy for me.

Happy for you?

Happy I turned my life around.

Yeah, sure, Tom. I'm happy for you.

You know, you can be so fucking smug sometimes.

What? Come on, Gabe!

I've heard you complain!

Well, sure, I complain.

That's what married friends do.

We joke about our sex lives,

and we bellyache about our wife and kids,

but that doesn't mean that we're about to leave them.

Marriages all go through a kind of baseline wretchedness

from time to time.

But we do what we can to ride those patches out.

Tom: Oh, I see, like my parents did?

Like your parents did?

They rode it out for 50 years.

Is that what you'd want me to do?

Is it?

I mean, don't you ever just want to chuck it all

and start over again?

Don't you, Gabe? Come on. Just admit it.

Sure. Of course I do. Okay!

But the feeling passes.

I mean, the key to civilization, I think,

is fighting the impulse

to just chuck it all.

Where would we be with everybody's Id's running rampant?

Look, all I'm sayin' is don't do what I did, okay?

Don't shut your eyes.

I was so steeped in denial,

and resignation.

I know the signs, believe me.

Why are you doing this I'm your friend.

I'd hate for you to wake up at 50-- You don't get it.

I cling to Karen.

I-I cling to her.

Imagining a life without her just doesn't excite me. Okay, okay.

It all goes by so fast, Tom.

The hair goes and the waist and the stamina.

The capacity to stay up late and read or watch a movie.

You know, never mind sex.

You want to hear a shocker?

Karen is-- is pre-menopausal.

That's right. My sweetheart.

My lover and that sweet girl I lolled around with on endless Sundays

is getting hot flashes.

It just doesn't seem possible.

We spend our youth unconscious, feeling immortal.

Then we marry and we have kids,

and we awaken with a shock to mortality.

Theirs, ours. It's all we see.

Then we worry about them.

Their safety, our own.

Airbags, plane crashes, pederasts.

Then we spend our middle years

wanting back that dreamy, carefree part,

that part that we had fucked and pissed away.

Now, we want that back!

'Cause now we realize how fleeting it all is.

Now we know,

and it just doesn't seem fair that so much of it is gone

when there's really so little left.

So, some of us, we try to regain unconsciousness

and some of us...

blow up our homes, and...

...some of us take up piano.

Um, I'm taking piano.

Hey, hey, hey. We had a vow, you know.

Not a marriage...

but something like it.

Yeah?

We were supposed to get old and fat together.

The four of us.

Watch each other's kids grow up.

Cry together at their weddings. It's not like I'm dead, you know.

I guess, I mean...

I thought that...

we were in this together,

you know, for life.

Look, I'll still be there.

But I won't be with Beth.

So how is Beth?

Fine, I guess.

We really haven't seen that much of her lately.

Karen's supposed to have lunch with her today.

You meet David yet? David?

You know, the guy she's been seein'?

Oh, yeah. Uh, no.

No, I, uh... He's actually a really nice guy.

I don't hold anything against him.

You gotta hand it to him,

hangin' in there all these years.

Finally gettin' what he wanted.

What do you mean? I mean, he really fell for Beth, you know?

He's really in love with her.

I'm sure she told you all about it.

Yeah, oh, yeah. Yeah.

That's what's so weird about this whole thing

is we could've broken up back then

when they had their thing.

But we stuck it out.

Ten years, two kids later, and they're back together.

Hey, I'm meetin' Nancy up at the office.

We're goin' shopping. She loves to take me shopping.

She hates my ties.

Got me this one for Christmas.

It's nice. Why don't you come with us?

Uh, no, no, not today. Come on, I'm dying for you to meet her.

Come on. No, really, I got so much stuff I gotta do.

Tom: You sure? Gabe: Yeah.

We'll go to dinner, the four of us.

Hey, I got the kids next weekend.

Why don't I just-- Actually, we're gonna be away next weekend.

Oh. Yeah.

Um, my sister's up in New Hampshire

and we promised that...

Uh-huh. Yeah.

Well, some other time maybe?

Yeah. Taxi!

You sure you don't want to just say hello?

No, honestly. I-I've got to meet our agent

and then I've got to get to La Guardia.

Where you going? Up to the Vineyard.

You're kidding. We're opening the house this weekend.

Wow. I'm jealous. Just a sec.

Wish I was goin' with you.

Yeah. Well.

♪ ♪

Bye, Tom.

Say hi to Karen if you think she'd be glad to hear from me.

And send my love to the boys.

All right. Bye.

Oh, hey, hey!

And tell Isaac everything's gonna be okay.

Goodbye.

♪ ♪

♪ ♪

La Guardia.

♪ Miss Susie sat upon it, and broke her little ♪

♪ Ask me no more questions ♪

♪ I'll tell you no more lies ♪

♪ The boys are in the bathroom ♪

Are you sure that's what he meant?

When they had their thing, that's what he said.

What else could that mean?

Are you sure he wasn't just trying to discredit her?

No! No, it wasn't like that.

There was nothing malicious about it.

He assumed I already knew.

That, uh, she told us herself.

Ten years ago?

That's what he said.

That was right after they got married.

That's right.

Oh, those were such happy times.

We saw them practically every weekend back then.

When would she have time to have an affair?

I don't know. During the week?

Are you helping or what?

Sorry.

Ta-da!

♪ ♪

Karen: Thought it seemed a little too convenient.

A white knight surfacing all of a sudden?

Why didn't she tell me?

Who would she have confided in if not me?

People don't usually go around

discussing their affairs, do they?

Otherwise they wouldn't be affairs.

She could have told me this afternoon.

How could she?

She spent all these months portraying herself

as the wronged woman.

Her credibility would've been shot to hell.

What does it say about our friendship?

What were all those years about?

♪ ♪

Kids!

I'm gonna say good night to my men.

"Boys are very strange.

"Very strange with those funny little lobster rings.

"Then to Paul's dismay,

"the albatross began to trot and flap his..." Come to bed, okay?

Okay.

"His own huge wings in preparation for takeoff.

"Paul ran along beside him.

"'Don't go,' he said, 'Teach me how to fly.'"

Uh...

Uh, "But the albatross was already airborne."

So, what did you say when he let it slip?

Nothing. Nothing? God, Gabe.

There you go playing dumb again.

Why? What would you have done?

I would have said, "Wait a minute.

Back up. What thing ten years ago?"

You know what it was?

I just didn't have it in me.

What do you mean?

Well, I sat there today,

listening to him go on about his new life,

and about all this great sex,

and how wonderful everything is, and...

I don't know. I just...

...began to feel so sad.

Really, sweetie? Yeah.

I...

felt so detached from him.

Really? Yeah, I could-- I could...

feel myself pulling back.

I could see him getting smaller and smaller and...

I don't know, I... I realized that...

I don't even like him anymore.

I don't.

Too much was said.

I learned too much. I said too much.

That's kind of how I felt today with Beth.

Yeah?

Like a whole chunk of our history had been erased

and there's no present tense.

She is so resentful of me.

I had no idea.

I don't know how we could ever get back to where we were.

Am I judgmental?

Am I intolerant?

Am I supposed to answer that?

So how'd you leave it with him?

Oh, it was the obligatory, "We have to get together."

He wants us to meet what's-her-name.

Nancy.

Oh, God. I couldn't handle it.

Don't worry, it'll never happen.

You really don't think so?

Gabe: Hey, remind me in the morning,

I promised the boys steamers for dinner tomorrow night.

He looks good.

So does she.

She's lookin' pretty again.

Hmm.

It must be all that incredible sex.

Apparently.

I had a dream the other night.

Yeah?

We were here making love

and it was so simple and effortless.

The way it used to be.

It still is. Sometimes.

Well, what is that supposed to mean?

Nothing, Gabe, you-- you're missing my point.

I'm sorry. Well, go on.

No, really. I-I want to hear about your dream.

We were here, in the dark.

And it was delicious.

And then I realized, I sensed,

in the dream that we weren't alone.

What do you mean?

There were other people in bed with us.

Uh

No. No, not our parents.

It was another couple though,

and they were sitting up in bed alongside us.

Watching us, analyzing us.

Whispering in this ongoing commentary.

Bickering with each other. Well, that's easy.

It's Tom and Beth. No? No, not Tom and Beth.

They were us.

Wh

Both couples were us.

Two versions of us, young and middle-aged,

in the same bed at the same time.

Is that all you have to say?

Wha Any thoughts?

Well, uh... Anything?

Not that

I really don't know what else to say.

Great.

Fine. No, uh...

Karen. Honey. Good night.

Honey.

Honey, come on.

Karen.

How come the minute we start talking about us

you can't speak, huh, Gabe?

I don't know.

We can sit here and we can go on and on about everyone we know,

and all of the problems of the world,

and the minute, I...

You know, for a guy who's pretty damn articulate about a number of things,

I tell you, I confide in you

this revealing dream I had about us,

and you have nothing to say.

Well, sure, I do. What? Speak!

It's...

about...

what happens to couples.

What?

The inevitable...

evolution.

Inevitable?

Yes.

I think it is.

And what is it? What?

The evolution. Define it.

You want me to-- to... Yes!

Talk to me, Gabe! God damn it!

You have got to talk to me! Okay, okay.

I think it's what happens when...

practical matters begin to outweigh...

...abandon.

Abandon?

Uh-huh. Is that it?

Do they have to?

I think so.

I think so?

Why? Well...

you know, it...

Having kids.

Having to pay the mortgage,

making a deadline, marinating the snapper, it's...

Don't you ever miss me, Gabe?

What?

Don't you ever miss me?

Oh, God, yes.

Yes.

Honey, sure I miss you. I-I...

I miss you a lot.

How do we not get lost?

Uh-oh.

What?

Do you know what time it is?

What?

It's that time again.

Oh, no.

I'm afraid so. Oh, no, Gabe. Not tonight.

Really. Ah, it's time for me to scare you.

No, please don't scare me. Sorry, kid.

Please, please. That's just the way it is.

Don't.

I'm sorry. It can happen any time now. Please.

Gabe, no. Any second.

Mm-hmm. No, please.

Sorry, kid, but a man's gotta do what a man's gotta do.

Boo.

♪ ♪

♪ I'm in the mood ♪

♪ For love ♪

♪ Simply because you're near me ♪

♪ Funny ♪

♪ But when you're near me ♪

♪ I'm in the mood for love ♪

♪ Heaven is in your eyes ♪

♪ Bright as the stars we're under ♪

♪ Hey ♪

♪ Is it any wonder ♪

♪ I'm in the mood for love ♪

♪ Why stop to think of weather? ♪

♪ This little dream might fade ♪

♪ We've put our hearts together ♪

♪ Now we are one ♪

♪ And I'm not afraid ♪

♪ So if there's a cloud above ♪

♪ If it should rain ♪

♪ Well, let it ♪

♪ But for tonight ♪

♪ Forget it ♪

♪ I'm so in the mood for love ♪

♪ ♪

♪ But just for tonight ♪

♪ Forget it ♪

♪ I'm in the mood for love ♪

♪ I'm in the mood ♪

♪ For love ♪