Original subtitles

Hello

Yeah

What?!

Sir kindly switch off your mobile phone

Just one sec one sec please!!

excuse me!

Sir please sit down!!!!

Captain, there is a medical emergency

A passenger has just fallen down on the aisle

Delhi Air India 11 returning due to a medical emergency

Sir! Excuse me sir! Excuse me sir!

One minute!!!!!!!

I'm alright now

Thank you!

You all go now

I'll go now

Gentleman wait!!

Get the car

Are you Mr. Dillon?

Why?

Should i tatoo my name here?

Take out the car fast!!

Ok sir!! Come sir

Should go to hotel right sir??

Yeah yeah we'll go to the hotel

But go through Vasant Vihar.. take me there

Put some load on accelerator kaake!!!!

Ya Farhan tell me

You come out fast I'm reachin your place in 5 minutes!

What happened dude?

Chathur had called

Remember him?

Who "Silencer"?

ya ya

He's saying Rancho is coming

What are you saying??

He's saying if you wanna meet Rancho come to the campus at 8, on the tank

Oh shucks

Hey you come out fast

Ya ok ok

Shruthi I'll be back in sometime

Oooo shoes....

Hey I got my friend back

What?

Hey I'll come back and speak to you!!!

At least wear pants and go!!!

Now can we go to the hotel sir?

We'll go to the hotel kaake but only after going to "Imperial College of Engineering"

Ok sir!!!

I forgot to take socks dude!!

You're talkin about socks??? Hey look down even pants you forgot!!!

Now you can go to hotel!!! But only after goin to airport because my brother is coming there take him to hotel. Same surname "Dillon"

I'm Dillon!! Where the hell have you sent the taxi?? Is it on the runway??

Oye Rancho?

Hey Chathur where is Rancho?

Rancho?!

Where is Rancho?

Welcome idiots

Wanna drink madiera(RUM)?

This is that rum you all used to drink here?

Have a drink

Hey where is Rancho?

I'll tell you

First look at this

Not my wife... look at the bunglow behind idiots: 3.5 million

Swiming pool - heated!!!

Living room - maple wood flooring

My new Lamborghini 6496cc - very fast!

Hey why are you showing all this to us?

You forgot?

What is this?

5th september..today's date..then wat yaar?!

Come bet... after 10 years we'll come back

over here itself, on this same day

and we'll see who is more successful!!

Do you dare??.........Tell, will you come??.... Will you come?

Remember something now???

Here only i kept bet with that idiot

I kept my promise

I'm back he he

Stupid

I left my flight and came

He left his pant and came just to meet Rancho

From five years we're searching for him. We don't know if he's dead or alive or what do you think? Will he come for this stupid bet

He won't come I know he won't come he he eh

What? Will you break his teeth or I'll do it! One minute Farhan one minute

Idiot.. then why did you call us over here?

To meet Rancho

Come and see where he stayed back and where I reached!!!

Means that you know where is Rancho? aah?

Yes

Where is Rancho?

He is in Simla!!!!

#.....he was like a fleeting wind.....#

#.....like a flutterting kite.....#

#.....where did he go? lets find him.....#

#.....he was like a fleeting wind.....#

#.....like a flutterting kite.....#

#.....where did he go? lets find him.....#

#.....while confined channel guided us.....#

#.....he would define his pathways.....#

#.....and loiter along them merrily.....#

#.....while our future haunted us.....#

#.....he would celebrate the present.....#

#.....and live every moment with reckless freedom .....#

#.....where did he come from? .....#

#....touching our hearts .....#

#.....where did he go? lets find him.....#

#.....he was like a shade in sweltering heat .....#

#.....like village in desert .....#

#.....he was like salve for our distress .....#

#.....while we cowered from challenges .....#

#.....he would dive in seas .....#

#.....and swim against the rip currents .....#

#.....he was a wandering cloud .....#

#.....he was our pal .....#

#.....where did he go? lets find him.....#

Rancho!

Rancchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad

How different his name was?

That same different thoughts

Since childhood we heard that life is like a race.... If you dont run fast others will overtake you...

Damn!!! To take birth... had to race among 300 million sperms he he eh

1978

I was born at 5.15am

And at 5.16am my dad said

"My son will become engineer!!!"

"Farhan Qureshi! B.Tech engineer"

And my fate was sealed!!!

What did I want to become?? Nobody asked me though.

Raju Rastogi

Rancchoddas Chanchad

Tell me your room number!

D26

Follow me

I'm Manmohan

M.M

All these enginneers call me milli meter

Milk, egg, bread, wash clothes, iron clothes, filling journals, copying assignment

Let it be any work tell me!!! Fixed rate no bargain!!

One minute, one minute, hold this, hold!

This is kilo byte

This is mega byte, and this is his mother giga byte.

Take their pictures... this family doesn't byte [bite]

[Raju praying]

Here comes one more big believer!!!

Hi, Farhan Qureshi...I'm Raju Rastogi

Don't worry

After you stay here for a while, your belief in God will vanish eventually

Only posters of naked girls stuck by your side.. and you'll say

Oh God

Get me one!!!

Hey get out of here!! Out out

Give 4 rupees

2 rupees per bag

Here 5 rupees... Keep the change

Wow sir you gave me a tip

Even i'll give you a tip

Tonightt.... wear underwear which doesn't have hole!!!

Why?

Oh Emperor.....

You are great.....

Accept our gift

Aaahh

This is he-man, he-man take this...

Ooohhhoo white white white

We were humiliated,

Hands saluting,

Heads down like slaves,

When we saw Rancho for the first time!

New gift..gift gift gift gift!

Namaste sir!!!

Remove your pants and get sealed!!!

What's ur name? Tell

Rancchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad!!

Huuii hhehehhee

Listen brothers learn by-heart!!! By final year you'll learn!!! hmmm

Remove ur pants.... remove pant

Oooh so you wont listen like this hanh?

Don't wear wet pant kid.

Come, remove now!!

Aal iz well, aal iz well

What is he saying?

Someone make him understand!!!

Hey james bond! Make him understand!!

Take off your pants of they're gonna piss on you

Oye English!!! Feeling shy to speak in hindi huh?

Sorry sir i was born in Uganda, and studied in Pondicherry

So little slow in Hindi

So slowly make him understand! Who is in a hurry here?

Worn again huh?

Take off your pants or.. they're gonna piss on you

He is saying piss as "muthravisarjan"? Hahahha!

Ooo here come pandit learning engineering

Hey come out you idiot!

Come out

Come out or else I'll piss on your door!!!

I'll count to 10

If you don't come out

I'll piss on your door for the whole semester

1

2

3

4

5

6

7

8

9

10

Salt water is a great conductor of electricity

8th standard physics

We all studied it;

He applied it!!

I.C.E.'s director's name was Dr.Viru Sahastrabudhhe

But everyone calls him "Virus"

Everyone called him computer virus!!!

Oye Virus is coming..carryin eggs with him

He has told first years to come down come. Fast, fast!

Virus was the most competetive man we had ever seen

If someone overtakes him even one step

He couldn't accept it..

To save time he used velcro instead of buttons

and a hook in tie!

He has trained his mind

so that he can write using both his hands at the same time

Everday at 2pm he used to take a power nap of exactly 7.5 minutes and used to listen opera

Govind had to do all unproductive works like shaving and cutting nails in this 7.5 mins

What is this?

Sir, nest

Whose?

Cuckoo bird's nest

Cuckoo bird never builds their nest

They lay their eggs on other birds nest

and when their babies come to the world, what do they do first?

They kick out other eggs from the nest

competition over

the life begins with murder

that's nature...

Compete

or die!

You all are also like the cuckoo birds

and these are those eggs whom you kicked out and reached I.C.E.

Don't forget

because every year, 4 lakh (400,000) applications comes to I.C.E.

among them only 200 will be selected

you

and these

finished

broken eggs!!

My own son applied for 3 years

rejected

everytime

remember life is a race!!

If you don't run fast someone will beat you and move faster than you

Let me tell you very interesting story

This is an astronaut's pen

In space, foundain pen, ball pen cannot be used

So after spending millions of dollars

Scientists invented this pen

From this you can write in any angle, any temperature, zero gravity

One day when I was a student the director of our institute called me

He said "Viru Sahastrabudhhe". I said "Yes sir"

"Come here!" I got scared

He showed me this pen

he said this is a symbol of excellence

"I give it to you

and the day when you get a extraordinary student like you

pass this pen to him"

For 32 years, Viru Sahastrabudhhe is waiting for the next Viru Sahastrabudhhe

Is there anyone here in this batch to honour this pen?

Good, hands down

Should I write on the notice board?

I said put down your hands

Sir I have a question sir

Sir, if in space fountain pen ball pen cannot be used, why didn't astronauts try using a pencil in space sir?

it could've saved millions of dollars

...I will get back to you on this

That fellow in night kicks seniors

and during the day he's irritating the director, I'm telling you if we stay with him He will get us in trouble!

Buddy, you screwed virus completely

Oh emperor, you're great..

Accept our gift....

Get lost, dont you've school?

Who'll pay the fees? Your father?

You calling my father?

Hey stop stop Raju! What are you doin?

Hey listen!

No fee is required for schooling! Uniform is required, uniform

Whichever school you like, go get the uniform of that school

go sit in the class

Who'll come to know when there is a huge population?

If I get caught?

If they catch you, then change uniforms, and change school!

There was really something special about him,

He always used to challenge everything in the world. Each and every move

He was the only one free bird in Virus's nest

We all were just robots operated by professors' remote control

But he was the only one

perhaps not a machine!

What is a machine?

Why are you smiling??

Um.. actually sir from my childhood I used to dream of studying in an engineering college

Today I'm sitting over here, feeling excited sir!

No need to be so overexcited.. Tell, tell me the definition of a machine

Umm..

Sir

Machine is anything that reduces human effort sir

Will you please elaborate...?

Sir umm...

All those things which makes the work for humans easier are machines sir

Feeling hot!!! press button, wind blowing, FAN is a machine sir!!

You can talk to your friend miles away..TELEPHONE is machine sir!!!

Calculate crores (10,000,000) in less time... CALCULATOR is a machine sir

Sir, actually we are dependent in the world for machine sir

From PEN NIB to PANTS ZIP... all machines sir!!

One second up, one second down; up, down, up, down, up- Tell me the definition!

Sir thats wat I'm saying sir

Will you write all this in the exam huh?

"This is a machine up, down, up, down, up"??

IDIOT!!!

Anybody else???

Wow great ! Perfect !

Great please sit down

Thank you, thank you

But sir even I said the same in simple language

If you like simple language you can go join some other arts n commerce college

But sir.. we should understand it at least

Like this way mugging up from book, what's the use sir?

Oh you know more than books?

Books have the same definition... And if you wanna pass, you'll write this itself

But sir, there are other books also

Get out!!!

Oh, why?

In simple language - please go outside

IDIOT!

So we were discussing about the machines

Hey why did you come back?

I forgot something sir

What?

Instruments that record, analyse, summarize, organize, debate and explain information

That are elastative, non-elastative hard bound, paper back, jacketed and non-jacketed

with forward introduction, table of contents, index that are intented for the enlightment understanding

enhancement and education human brains of sense in root of vision.. sometimes touch

What are you trying to say?

Books sir, books

I forgot my books sir. Can I take them?

Couldn't you say in simple way?

I tried sometime before, but you didn't like it in simple way sir

Professors used to keep Rancho outside more often than inside classrooms

If he get kicked from one class, he'd go sit in another classroom

Rancho used to say that knowledge is increasing everywhere - where ever you get, gain it!!!

He was completely different from all of us

We used to fight for bathroom

But wherever Rancho used to get water, he used to have bath there itself!

He was very much attached to machines

He used to carry a screwdriver in his pocket where ever he goes

He would open any machine that he finds, some got closed

some did not!!

There was another guy just like him

Joy Lobo

Sir, excuse me sir!

Mr. Joy Lobo

Sir would you mind lettting me know aboutt the convocation dates?

Why?

Actually dad wanted to get a reservation

I'm the first engineer in my village sir.. All my relatives wanted to come on the convocation day

In that case please make a phone call to your dad

Son please, please dont waste my time hurry

Hello

Dad, director sir will speak to you

Joy?

Mr.Lobo your son won't be graduating this year

What happened sir?

He has violated all the deadlines

with unrealistic- Mr. Lobo, Mr. Lobo - unrealistic project it is I had told already

He's making some non-sense helicopter

So I recommend you not to reserve his ticket, I'm so sorry

Sir I'm just close

Is your project ready?

Is your project ready?

Sir atleast take a look at this once sir please

Submit it, then I'll take into consideration

Sir give me an extension sir Why? Why should I give you an extension?

Sir after dad's stroke i couldn't concentrate for 2 months sir please

Did you stop having food and water for 2 months?

No

Did you stop taking a bath? No?

Then why did you stop studying?

Sir I'm very close sir! Please take a look at this sir please!

Mr. Lobo my son died falling from a train on sunday afternoon

Monday morning Viru Sahastrabudhhe gave a lecture in this college So don't tell me that nonsense

I can only give you sympathy, not an extension

Sir..

Wow what a design he made. wireless camera on a helicopter?

Traffic updates, security... it can be used for all

but it seems it won't fly

Why won't it fly? I'll make it fly!!

Hey don't tell Joy. We'll give him a surprise

We'll make this fly out his window and record his reaction

If we do his project, who'll do ours?

Test, viva, quizzes included, there are 42 exams in each semester

Hey, you worry a lot dude

Take this hand and keep it on your heart and say,

"Aal iz well, aal iz well"

All is well

"Aal iz well"

Now he has brought something new our Baba Rancchoddas!

Hey in our village there was a watchman He used to yell in night saying "Aal iz well"

And we used to sleep tight

One night there was a robbery in our village, Then we came to know that he was blind.

And he yells "Aal iz well, aal iz well"

and we used to sleep like fools

But that day we came to know about the real fact

see our heart right, is a big coward

Keep our heart fooled

if you have any big problem in life

tell your heart

No problem baby, everything is ok "Aal iz well, aal iz well"

Hmm so that will solve the problem ? Huh?

No but still it gains the dareness to survive

Remember this mantra, this is gonna become more useful over here

Got it, got it yeah

Take it to Joy's window

Hey joy, up up

Oye window... see Silencer naked

Hey Joy! Come out Joy

Hey Joy look outside!

Joy..

#... give me some sunshine.. give me some rain...#

#... give me another chance i wanna grow up once again.....#

You've good news sir..

neither police got to know

nor Joy's dad....

Everyone will think it's a suicide, sir

Reason for death in postmortem report

intense pressure on wind pipe resulting in choking

this fool believed that

died because of the pressure held here

and pressure over here for the last 4 years? What about that?

Even that's not in the report also sir,

These engineers are so back minded sir

Didn't even invent some machine, that could really behold the pressure over here...

If they had, we would've come to know this is not a suicide, it's a murder,

Are you blaming me for the suicide of Joy?

If one student can't tolerate pressure why am I the one responsible?

So much pressure will come in life

Then everytime will you blame others for that?

Sir I'm not blaming you sir

Actually I'm blaming the system

Sir I've got some statistics

Sir in suicides India is number 1 sir

Every 1 half hour one of the other students attempts suicide, sir

Student die less from sickness and more from suicides here sir

Something is going wron,g right sir?

I can't tell about other colleges but this is one of the finest colleges in the country

I've been running this college for 32 years

I brought this college to number 1 from 28th position

Sir wat number 1 sir ?

Here we dont have any talks related to new ideas, no talks on inventions

Only great talk on only marks, or else jobs in USA

We don't gain any knowledge here sir

Here they only teach us how to get good marks

Now are you going to teach me how to take classes?

Please sit down

Today we have our great leader behind us

Who claims that he can teach better than our highly qualified teachers

So today our professor Rancchoddas Chanchad will teach us engineering

We do not have all day

You all have 30 secs

find the meanings of the words written on the board

If you want you can make use of your books too

Lift your hand up if you get the answer

We'll see who'll come first and who's last

Your time starts now

Time up

Time up sir, time up

What?

Nobody got the answer?

Now rewind 1 minute of life a bit and think

When I asked this question

Anybody thought that today we will get something to learn new

Anyone..Sir?

No

Everyone sunk in race

What's the use if you come first studying like this?

Will you improve your knowledge? No

Only pressure will increase

and this is a college not a PRESSURE COOKER

The lion in the circus also learns to sit on the chair fearing the whip held in his owner's hand

but we call such a lion as well trained, not well educated

Hello....

this is not a philosophy class!

Tell us the meaning of those 2 words,

Sir actually no such words exists sir

these are my friends names

Farhan and Raju

Quiet!

nonsense!!

You teach engineering like this?

No sir I'm not teaching you engineering, you know better than me

I was teaching you that, how to teach,

and I believe that you learn someday for sure sir

because I never leave my weaker students hand

busted

Quiet!!

Quiet i said!!

I would regret to inform you that your son Farhan, Raju is goin on the wrong route

If you don't take required action their future will be spoiled

Virus's letters fell down in our homes like an atom bomb

there was mourning in Hiroshima and Nagasaki!

And we were invited to both the home to get kicked

Come, come inside

See there

We could only afford one air conditioner

And we didn't keep in our bedroom , we kept it in Farhan's bedroom for him to study conveniently

I didn't buy car, riding scooter till now

I invested all my money in Farhan's studies

We sacrificed our future for Farhan's better future.. did you understand or not?

Then can you imagine what I must be going through!

Hey you took all these photos Farhan?

Quiet

He has the ghost of photography in his head

He used to take the images of animals and used to say he wanted to become wild life photographer

Son, what was your percentage that year?

91 percent

Did you hear that?

From 94 percent straight down to 91 pecent

You feel it funny?

No, no uncle no

I was telling how great pictures he has taken

Why are you makin him an engineer? You could've made him a wild life photographer

I'm foldin my hands and requesting you

Please dont spoil my son's future

Kids

Come, let's eat something

when you come next time have food and go....

Dad didn't give us food though

and atlast to fill our hungry stomach, and to fill the quota of advice

we reached Raju's home

Raju's home reminds us about the 1950's black and white films

one small bed where his paralysed father rested

one coughing mother

and one sister at her age of marriage

Sofa with all springs out

and 24 hours running water from the terrace

mother was retired from school and tired almost all the time

His dad was a postmaster at his age

after paralysis he lost his half body and salary completely....

and sister!!!

Kammo (Raju's sister) is 28 now

asking Maruthi 800 as dowry...

If you don't study and all how will she get married?

Take lady's finger curry.. hand jee thank you

You know wat? Lady's finger has now become 12 rupees per kg

and cauliflower 10 rupees

World is looting all over

and upon that these kind of letters come from your college

What will we eat?

want paneer?

Some time back you used to get little of paneer in goldsmith's shop

Want paneer?

No, no enough

Mom just leave it and keep quiet!

Ok ok, I'll keep quiet

Earn for kids, work like a servant, and after all this you want me to keep my mouth shut?

Hey this is all our news if I don't tell it to my son, To whom will i say? To his friends?

Hey Raju

It was a big confusion whether we should control our friend or wipe his mother's tears

Then we thought to leave all these matters, and let's concentrate on mattar paneer now,

Even his eczema cream comes for 55 rupees now

Ewwww...

Want more roti son?

No, no done no, stomach full aunty

Lady's finger 12 rupees and caulli flower 10 rupees!

At least we offered you some food unlike your hungry father

Hitler Qureshi

Ha ha your mom is Mother Teresa right? she was serving us itchy roti

Don't make fun of my mother!

Hey leave it, why are you all fighting? I'm feeling damn hungry Come lets go have some food outside

This is the end of month who'll give money? His mom mother Teresa?

To have food doesn't require money dude, uniform is required uniform

Look there

Come

Come

Namaste jee namaste

Oh uncle!

Hey listen get us 3 glass of vodka

Half soda, half water

What are the starters available?

What ever get us two plates each

and leave this here

and change the music yaar, put on some Ghazal or something

Pia what the hell is this?

What have you worn??

Bloody eighteenth century watch?

What people will say?

Watch Suhas's fiance, she is going to become doctor

and she's wearing a watch just costing 200 bucks?

Please take it off! Thank you

Hi handsome

Hey aunty,

you're looking good

Don't miss my set darling

Rubies?

from Mendelaves

Mendelave wow!

Hey lets go meet David, come I'll show you. Of course, of course

Excuse me

Yes?

Umm.. flowers

Umm.. can i take this glass?

Why?

What if you break my head with that glass?

Why would I throw this at you?

because I'm gonna give you some free advice,

What?

Don't ever marry that fool-

Excuse me?!

He is not a human, he is just a price tag, price tag

He'll embarrass you telling you prices of different things thing all of your life,

your life will be spoiled and your future will be finished,

should I give a demo?

Should I find out what's the price of his shoes?

I'm not gonna ask him, he himself will reveal, just a sec

Oh my god!

Hey, hey!

What have you done?

These are 300 dollar shoes

You dropped mint chutney on my 300 dollar shoes!

Run away, its a free advice, take it or leave it

Genuine Itallian, leather, hand stiched,

Dad!

are these your guests?

These are my students

Why are they here?

One second

This is really good dude, smelling very good,

Hey no space for puri dude, adjust it by side, ohh

Hi

Hey hi

You helped me open up my eyes, thank you so much

nothing like that..it was my duty!

Can I ask you for a little more help?

Yeah yeah

My dad wont allow me to break the engagement with Suhas,

how great you explain!

It would be good if you give a demo for him also,

Yeah yeah why not, why not? I'll give a demo

Raju get me chutney,

You're really sweet,

Where is he, where is your dad?

right behind you,

Oh

"Aal iz well, aal iz well"

Run away, it's free advice, take it or leave it

What are you all doin here?

Umm sir.. we'll go on the stage, give this envelope and come sir

Give it to me

This is my sister's marriage

Umm.. sis.. sister?

Sir, totally how many daughters do you have, sir?

It's empty!

As I thought we didn't invite you,

you all might be from groom's side right?

No sir actually we're from science's side sir

How?

Can you explain?

Dad, he explains really good,

now itself he'll give demo, give

Umm... sir in Delhi, power goes out frequently sir

and this really affects the marriage too sir so I thought to make an inverter

That can generate power from all cars that has come in the marriage,

Ohhh

Wow

and did you make the inverter?

Sir design is ready sir!

Umm.. where is the design Farhan?

i've given you the design right?

Aah, i had given to Raju,

Raju, design??

Sir actually, leave it sir I'll make the inverter itself and show you directly,

You can only make us fool, not an inverter!!!

No sir I'll surely make the inverter, I promise

and I'll give your name for the inverter

because after all it had been invented in your daughter's marriage so it'll an honour,

Farhan, Raju.. I wish to meet both of you in the office tomorrow

Sir what was your per plate cost sir,

We'll pay sir

In terms of installment sir

and afterward we wont intrude in any marriage sir

I wont even enter my marriage also sir,

infact I wont marry also sir, even he wont marry also sir

hanh hanh, even I wont sir

Even your parents shouldnt've married

2 idiots wouldnt've taken birth in this world

Sit!

Pay attention...

?

This is Rancchoddas's father's monthly income

2.5 crore rupees

Now from this,

If you take out 1 or 2 zeros

It doesn't make much of a difference

But if one more zero is removed,

I would worry a little

this is your father's monthly income, Mr. Farhan!

Yes... yes sir,

and now if you make it one more zero less,

Now this is your family income Mr. Raju Rastogi,

Big reason to worry,

Follow Viru Sahastrabudhhe's suggestion, change your rooms

And get shifted with Chathur Ramalingam

Exams are closer, and if you stay with that Chanchad,

You will never pass your exams!

#..... opera started......#

Wanna get shaved?

No sir

Then get lost!

Raju you try to understand,

Virus is playing games between us, divide and rule

Don't get scared

I have to be scared!

For me to get a good job, I need good grades, and grades are within his hands,

I don't have rich father like you..using whose money, I can spend the rest of my life

Hey Raju what nonsense are you saying?

Should we do whatever he says hanh? "Aal iz well, aal iz well"?

You'll be the only one who's gonna catch his tail not me,

Now you're crossing the line,

No im making line in between, because I have to support my family!

Mom's half salary has been spend on dad's medicines,

Sister's marriage is not happening,

as the groom wants a Maruthi 800,

for the past 5 years

Mom dint even buy one saree,

Yaar..now in this argument..if you are getting mother's saree in between..what can I say?

Yaar so like that how many sarees are reserved for one year?

Don't make fun of my mother!

Hey raju we will study, with complete dedication we'll study,

But not only to pass exams,

some great scholar has said, "Never study to be successful, study for self efficiency"

Don't run behind success,

Excellence

follow behind excellence

success will come all way behind you,

Which great scholar said this?

Baba Rancchoddas?

Hey, hey don't get tense yaar,

we'll top the exams yaar, nothing is impossible!

nothing is impossible? hanh?

Take this,

Now put this back!

Raju changed his train's bogey,

Noww he started the journey (saffar) with Chathur,

Not the "saffar" in hindi,

english's SUFFER

S

U

F

F

E

R

SUFFER

Everyone calls Chathur "Silencer"

To make his mind even more sharper,

He used to eat some bengali Baba's Paan,

and he used to leave his HOT AIR!

I didn't do it!

Raju....

And he always put the blame on others!

Silencer used to study for 18 hours a day

and during the night, he used to distract others from study

#.... oooo baby.... come on baby ye.....#

he believed in two ways of topping exams

one is to get marks by yourself, or try reducing other's marks

Rancho has made the combined plan to teach Silencer a lesson, and to help Raju,

our director sir has done much miracle here,

Chamatkaar (miracle) means....

I dont want the meaning Dubey jee, I'll memorize it....

Chathur has been chosen to present the introductory speech on teacher's day

he wrote a speech in pure hindi with librarian Dubey jee to impress Virus,

Hello,

yes will call,

Chathur, you have a call

Dubey jee please keep this print out with you, I'll come back in sometime,

Oh even do that work also

Hey Dubey jee!

Director sir has remembered you, yeah now

Ok you give this to Chathur, I'll come back now

Hello, hello

Hello Mr. Ramalingam?

Yes?

Yeah I'm calling from Lajpat Nagar police station,

Are you from Uganda?

Yes sir

Hmmm your life is at risk

What?! How?!

Umm listen to my instructions carefullly

Else when you step out from the college gate You'll face death in centre of the road itself,

Why? What happened?

By the time Chathur recovers from this shock,

Before that itself Rancho changed a few words in the speech

like.....

"chamathkaar" has become "Balathkaar" [ miracle ] [ rape ]

Did you call me sir?

Who are you?

Dubey librarian,

I'm permanent sir

Congratulations!

Umm.. one minute, one minute

Commisioner sir is calling, hold on,

Excuse me sir, sir

Take the phone, take it! What do I say?

Yeah, yeah where was I?

You were saying, outside the gate, my death

Ah! When you go out the gate, you a see a signal in front of you

Traffic signal!! Ah ok ok

When that signal becomes red,

all vehicles will stop,

Ok, ok, then?

Then you cross the road carefully,

You know why son nowadays traffic is huge

So like if any vehicle hits you or something, you might die,

What nonsense, I know that!

Oh you know that? Very good son then you are safe, Well done well done.

#......became a fool.......#

Hey Silencer! Dubey has given you this

Hey you don't call me that CHANCHAD,

CHANCHAD

Director told me that he didn't call me

He didn't call you, I told you that he remembered you!

Idiots!!

Respected teachers,

Chief guest minister Shri R.D. Tripati ji,

Students, and my dear friends

Today if I.C.E. is touching sky high limits,

then the credit goes to only one man

Shri Viru Sahastrabudhhe!

Give him a hand,

sir he's saying it

but every word is mine

He is a great guy, really you are,

for the past 32 years he has continuously

in this college,

committed rapes upon rapes

this means.. miracles upon miracles

Hope he continues to do so

we often wondered,

how a person in his lifetime can do these many rapes?

With his extreme self discipline..

he's made himself this capable

correct usage of time

complete utilization of the bell

Somebody, learn from him,

learn from him, learn from him!

Sit down, sit down

Today, we all students are here

tomorrow, we'll spread across so many countries

I promise you all

Whichever country we are in - there we'll rape!

We'll enlight the name of I.C.E.!

We'll show everyone,

the capability to perform rape that students have over here!

No other students across the globe have it!

No other students, no other students!!

Respected minister

Namaskar

You have given that thing for this institution

that we needed the most

Money Money!

Tits!

Not that! That means tits!

What kind of insulting things is this boy saying?!

Tits are there with everyone

Everyone keeps it hidden

Nobody never gives it

Huh? Huh?

This guy is too vulgar!

You have given your tits in the hands of this rapist

Now let us see,

How he makes use of it!

Sahastrabudhhe, don't you have any brains?

Indecent guy

On this golden occasion, I can recollect a Shlok

Listen listen, now he'll explain his farting stength in Sanskrit

Uthamam dadadatu paadham [ The loudest fart is like a motor vehicle ]

Paadham??? Ooo SILENCER! [ fart ]

Madyam paadam tuchuk tuchuk. [ The middle fart is like the sound of a train ]

Kanishtam thud thudiya paadam [ The smallest fart ]

sur suriiee............ praana kadakam... [is a silent killer]

See, without understanding if you cram things, this will be the result, see see!

By cramming, you can save 4 years of your college life..

But for the next 40 years of your life, you'll go on getting raped

Aare yaar, we made him understand so much.. But still he hasnt understood!

Madyam paadam thuchuk thuchuk... [ The middle fart is like the sound of a train ]

Unbelievable yaar!

You did the right thing Rancho

how fun it was...... hehe

poor fellow didn't had any idea

Hey you! Hey

You swines!

In what way have I harmed you?

Hey sorry dude don't take it personally,

I'll take it personally,

Chathur Ramalingam is not going to forget this insult,

I'll think of it every minute, every second of my life!

Dude leave it, actually we were giving demo for Raju...

that don't cram things and study

Understand and study, enjoy the beauty of science yaar

I'm not here to enjoy thing

Then what? Are you here to rape? Or have you come here to rape science!! Tuchuk Tuchuk!! [sound of train]

Laugh! Laugh at my methods..

One day using these methods

I'll become successful and show everyone

And then I'll laugh, and you'll cry!!

Yaar, you're boarding the wrong train again

Don't run behind success

become a great engineer such that success runs behind you

These ideals don't work in the real world CHANCHAD

You board your train, and I'll board mine

and 10 years from now we'll come back to this same station

on this same date,

We'll see who's more successful!

You?

Or me!

Do you dare?

Do you dare?!

Then lets bet... Speak!

Wil you come?

Wil you come?!

Wil u come??!

What are you doing yaar?

What has happened to him!

What is he writing yaar??

Don't forget this date

I'm not used to such expensive gifts, Suhas!

Get used to it Pia. You're going to be Suhas Tandon's wife!

Where's the bill man?

I'll be back!

You changed the speech right? Don't lie!

Oh... umm.. yeah

What problem do you have with my dad, huh?

I don't have any problem with him

I'm making an inverter with his name - see this

Oh

Broke it!

Why are you against my dad, hanh?

Because he's not running a college, but a factory

Where donkeys are manufactured every year

See, see over there, your donkey

How dare you call him a donkey!!

Then what else should i call him?

First he did engineering, then MBA, and after that he went to America to work for a bank

If he had to work in a bank only, then why did he do engineering?

For such donkeys, life only means a profit or loss statement

He's seeing there's profit being with you, that's why he's with you

You, the director's daughter, who is going to be a docto, it's good for his image

He has no attachment to you

What do you think of yourself?

What do you mean by saying Suhas is not interested in me?

You bought new watch? One minute, hold this

I have to show you a demo everytime...

Hey Suhas!

Where were you? I've been looking for you!

She lost her watch yaar, she's searching for it

What!! You lost the watch?

Aare leave it yaar.. get a new one

Aare it cost 4 lakhs!

4 lakhs!!! Mine costs only 150 yaar but shows the same time

Oh shut up!!

How could you be so careless Pia!! This careless attitude is disgusting

It's disrespectful

That was a limited edition watch you just lost!

You got it for free so that's it. Now you wear your 18th century watch at dinner

What? What are you staring at?

Huh? Now you start crying? Real mature Pia

I can't handle this. Now stop crying and search!

Search for some other hand for this watch...donkey!!!

Hey.. you're solid yaar..You called him a donkey to his face!

Get lost!!

Yaar it's too noisy here right?

She's saying thank you to me, but I hear it as get lost

I said get lost only!

Aare yaar, why are you getting so angry?

Do you know you never actually loved him at all!

What do u mean?

It means, whenever he comes infront of you

Have you ever felt like wind is blowing, or dupatta/veil is flying in slow motion??

Or the moon looks even bigger in the sky?

Such things only happen in a film, not in real life!

Aare no no, it happens in real life also. If you love a human, it'll happen

It doesnt happen with donkeys

#.... phone ringing...#

Hello!! Yeah

What?

Oh God!

Ok ok, I'm coming. Yeah bye bye!

Hey you're a medical student right?

I need your help, it's an emergency, please please!

Come with me,please

Aare yaar you doctors take an oath that you'll never say no to a patient!

What do you call it? Hippocratic Oath!

Yaar help me yaar, please,its an emergency, please!

You barged into my sister's engagement, you broke my engagement

Dad is taking BP pills because of you

And I'm helping you over here!

Unbelivable!!

This Hippocratic Oath; it has just ruined doctor's lives!

Aunty, where is Raju?

He's gone to get a taxi. We called for an ambulance two hours ago..

our country is so weird, there is a guarantee for pizza to reach in 30 minutes, but an ambulance?

He must be hospitalised... urgently!

Hey, stop man!

Move, move, move, move!

Move, move, move, move!

Doctor, doctor! Emergency, emergency!

Patient

Keep this with you

Hey Raju

Idiot, you brought dad on a scooter?!

Then should I have sent him through speed post?

Don't get into my dad's profession!

Where? Where is dad?

Ask the doctor!

This was a close call Pia

If it would've been late by 2 or 2.5 hours, then we would have lost him

Good that you did not wait for an ambulance and got him on a scooter, I'll go now, if there is any problem, call me ok? Bye

Rancho...

Thank you yaar

Idiot, are you saying thank you to a friend?

Is that Silencer teaching you manners?

Hasn't he told you. Friendship is the biggest sthan of a human!

Go go, now go. You guys have exam tomorrow, right?

Aare there are a lot of exams, but only one dad

Now we'll take the post master sir and go only then!

Rancho forgive me yaar, I was frightened!

Enough, enough, shhh, quiet, quiet

Forgive me!

Enough... Quiet

Enough... Quiet

Go, meet dad, and dont go with such a gloomy face

Go...

Thanks yaar

Go

#..... he was our pal......#

Your scooter saved a life today. It's nice

How much is it?

Put chutney and see. Maybe I'll tell!

Hey happy Independence day!

But today is not 15th August

But it is so for you, now you can wear ur mom's watch whenever you want!

Nobody will say why have you worn an 18th century watch and all that!

Bye

Hey

How do you know tat it was my mom's watch?

At a sister's wedding, if a girl is nicely dressed head to toe

Except for an old watch on the hand, what does it mean?

On that day, you were missin your mom a lot, right?

Yes

Your mom must have been very beautiful, right?

Yes, how do you know?

Have you seen ur dad?

Life is a race, If you don't run fast, you'll be like a broken egg of the cuckoo bird

Today we'll teach you how to prepare chutney

This chutney is very useful,

This is not only to have, But it's really useful to understand people too

Now the bad time has gone for you

Now you can leave donkeys and start loving humans

Time is perfect for startin love

Temperature is constant, and the climate is clear and clean

And if you felt love for someone sure it's gonna rain on you

Hello... wake up!!

What..Uncle passed away or what! What?

No stupid!

It's already 8:30.. at 9:00,the exam starts.. you wanna go or not?!

Aare yaar.. how can you leave him alone here and go!

I'm there, doctors are there, and it's only a matter of 3 hours

Come on! Take my scooter and go! Now come on go, it's getting late

Hey!!

Why have you worn an old watch!

Go!!

Sorry sir, we were late, emergency!!

Settle down there!

Sir they are still writing!

Hello, time up!!

Sir, 5 minutes sir, we were half-an hour late! It was an emergency sir, please please!

The examiner looked at us like we asked for both his kidneys!

But we still continued to write

While he was busy arranging papers according to roll numbers

It's over sir

You're late! I can't take your papers

Sir, please sir

Sir, do you know, who we are?

Even if you are the prime minister's son, I won't accept your paper!

Sir do you know our names and roll numbers??

No.. who are you guys?

You dont know...then... run, run, run, run!

Hey! What's your roll number?

Where is it?

Where is his paper?

Aaaahhh!

Today the results were gonna come

Scared and innocent! All were busy striking a deal with God

God please save me with electronics, I'll break coconuts!

Oh snake-god! Save my physics, I shall send one litre of milk everyday!

Oh cow-god! Just, just get me passing marks

God I'll treat Malati and Sangeeta like my sisters, please save my results!

God, God I'll offer 100 rupees per month, surely God! Promise!

Nowadays, traffic constables also dont accept 100 rupees, as if God would fall for it!

Check, check, check from below, check from below

It's yours yaar... last

And yours?

Second last!

And Rancho?

It's not there yaar!

My heart sank,

Not because we were last but because our friend had failed!

Not posibble!

It's fine Chatur

There is a mistake! It's not possible!

This is injustice! Injustice! Oh God!!

Why is this idiot Silencer shouting so much?

He has come second...

Idiot. Who's first then?

Rancho...

Rancho?! Idiot..

Move.. Move yaar

We learnt something about human behaviour that day

If your friend fails, you feel sad

But if your friend comes first, you feel even more sad!

On that day we were sad

But there were two more people who were sadder than us

Rancchoddas Chanchad, first row, right of the director!

Uday Sinha, second row, third seat!

Alok Mittal, second row, fifth seat! Hey!

Sir, is it compulsory to sit acccording to our ranks?

Why, do you have any problem?

Sir, I have problem with entire grading system itself!

It's like the caste-system sir! A grade students-kings, C grade students-slaves!

It's not nice sir!

Do you have a better idea for this?

Yes sir, I do!

Results should not be put up on a notice board

Why should we exhibit someone's weakness in front of all?

Now sir, if in your blood test, the haemoglobin count is less

will the doctor give you tonic or put up your report on the TV?

You see sir!

So basically wat you're saying is I must go to each one's room one-by-one and say their results in their ears?!

You've come first, you've come second, I'm so sorry, you failed

No sir, I didn't mean that way

But the thing is, grades creates divide; divide

Now see..I've come first so I'm sitting with you

Whereas my friends have come last So they are seated in the last, in a corner

At least they are sitting in a corner now, if they continue being with you, next year they'll be out of the photo itself!

Neither will they pass nor any company will give them jobs!

Sir, they'll find a job somehow sir

There wil be at least a few companies which hire people and not machines for work!

It's not like that sir, they'll find a job.. I guarantee it

Oh? You guarantee it? You guarantee it?!

Bet sir? Bet??

Govind

If even one among those two get a job in the campus interviews

then shave my moustache!

Ok sir!

Happy?

Happy sir!

Woahhhh!!!!

By using the car's horn, you want to hide your horn? Idiot!

Idiot! Septic tank! You had the Churan again?

I didn't do it...

Raju!

We've been very used to this hot air from those days

This idiot is responsible for global warming! Oh I can't take it!

Give me, give me your wallet. I'll go and buy some pants!

Leave it yaar, wear this Chatur Ramaalingam's suit pant!

Hey don't you touch my suit!

Leave it yaar, Rancho will recognise you even without the pant!

Hey Mr. where's this address?

Brother, if I was so educated would I be selling groundnuts?

He doesn't know to read

But at least he knows to speak!

Brother, here in Simla is there any Rancchoddas Chanchad?

Yes, yes, he stays over there!

#....he was like the fleeting wind.....#

Let's go!

#....like a fluttering kite.....#

#..... where did he go? let find him!......#

Oye Chatur.. Here's your bottle of Churan!

Oh thanks, where did you find it?

It was in the pocket!

Hey! How dare you! That's my pant!

Hey what's mine, what's yours? It's written in Gita!

Hey shut up! Take off the pants

Hey what are you doing yaar!People will misinterpret! Mad! Idiot!

Hey leave

Hey I want it now!

What happened?

Rancho's dad!

Brother, where can I find Rancchoddas?

He's sitting over there

Thank you

Rancho!

Yes?

Oh sorry, we wish to meet Rancchoddas

I'm Rancchoddas, what is it?

No.. Rancchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad

I'm Rancchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad... what is it?

Rancho, take care of yourself!

Rancchoddas Chanchad!

Raju!

Yaar, I must be the first man in history who travelled from Delhi to Simla in underwear that too to meet a wrong person!

Yaar, the same name, the same degree, and the same photo!

But the person is different. What's the matter? I'm unable to understand!

But from where did Silencer get Rancho's address?

Yes!

Oye chatur! Come here

Hey! Hey!!

How dare you open this! I got this from San Francisco

It's hand-made biscuit..

Especially for Mr. Phunsukh Wangdu!

Phunsukh Bangdu? Now who is this?

Wangdu, Wangdu! 'W', 'W'! Phunsukh Wangdu!

Do you know who that is?

He's a great scientist, 400 patents, the world wants him!

I have been chasing him for the past year and the meeting has been fixed now!

You know once he signs a deal with my company, I'll be huge! Huge!

Now stop praising this Wangdu and tell us from where did you get Rancho's address?

You should be thanking Phunsukh Wangdu! It's because of him, that I found a clue

See this, my secretary Tracey was here last month to arrange a meeting with Phunsukh Wangdu

Tracey couldn't get an appointment with Phunsukh but I got Rancho

I checked Simla's phone directory, in that the name was Chanchad Rancchoddas

Then how did his appearance change? He heard you are coming and got plastic surgery done or what?

Only one man can answer this!

I'm sorry dad!

I couldn't fulfil your last wish!

You kept on saying, "take me to Haridwar, take me to Haridwar"

But I was waiting for the highway's tender to be opened

The tender opened over there

and you closed your eyes over here!

I'm so sorry dad!

I could not be a good son!

What are you saying yaar?

You have become such a great engineer, the degree's been put up on the wall

You are a very good son!

How dare you enter my property without my permission!

I'll put you behind bars!

You'll go behind bars, idiot!

We have investigated everything

On the basis of your I.C.E. degree, you're taking these highway contracts and hydro projects

This degree belongs to our friend! How did it come to you?

It's a 150 hectares property. I'll blow off ur heads and bury you in a corner, nobody will get to know

Get the point? Now get lost!

I'm taking dad's ashes and going to Haridwar. If you want, I'll even take your bones along with that!

Lift the dad!

Over there, there, there!

Leave my dad!

Tell us who you are, or else I shall immerse your dad's ashes over here itself

Handover dad to me!

Dad's ashes wont go to the Ganga, they'll go into the gutter!!

Remove dad from the pot, remove from the pot!

If you press the trigger then I'll press the flush!

See, I'll count till three, that's it!

Hey, who are you scaring? Shoot!

Raju, put it in!

One..

Hey, we'll go to hell but along with that we'll even finish ur dad! Got it?!

Two..

Then strain-strain and remove your dad using a strainer!

What?

We got the wrong one, this one is empty.

Empty?

Empty??

Empty! We'll empty it!

No! No!

We'll empty it, we'll empty it! I'm tellin you we'll empty it!

Noooooooo! Hands up!

Come on tell, tell! Who are you?

Aare, I'm Rancchoddas yaar!

No! I swear on dad! I swear on dad, I'm telling the truth yaar!

I'm Rancchoddas, he was Chhote!

Chhote?

He was the son of our gardener

Everyone used to call him Chhote!

Even after his mom and dad passed away, dad let him stay in the house!

He used to do odd household works, you know

Changing bulbs, getting eggs and bread, ironing, like

He was very much interested in studies!

He used to wear my old uniform and get into the school

Whichever class he liked, he would go and sit in that one!

I used to take advantage of that

I used to make him do my homework also

and make him write my exam papers also

I was having a good time!

Then one day

Master ji saw that a 6th standard child was solving a 10th standard problem

Which class are you in, son? What's ur name?

We were caught

Dad was a big man so Master ji thought it's better to tell him before telling the principal

You've begun this, so you will end it!

The whole Himachal salutes in front of me

But as soon as I turn away, behind my back

they call me an illiterate!

This wont happen with my son!

He wants education, and me, just a degree

Let it continue as it is, make this boy an engineer

Rancchoddas Chanchad's degree, I want it over there on that wall

I went away to London for four years and he kept studying in I.C.E. using my name

He had a deal with my dad that after getting a degree from I.C.E.

He won't meet anyone from I.C.E. in his whole lifetime!

He usually said "I won't go meet anyone, but one day two idiots will come searching for me

then what wil you do?"

He misses you both a lot!

I'll give you the address

Go meet him

But dont tell my secret to anyone yaar, please!

Which secret?

Sir ji, you got the wrong urn! The master is in this

hHey what the hell is going on?

Who was that gun man?

Aare its a very complicated story and it is without subtitles You cant understand

Ignore it, ignore it

Where are we going?

Ladakh

Ladakh? Why??

To meet Rancho!

Is he in Ladakh?

What is he doing over there?

Don't know, but this is a school's address!

School teacher... he he he! Master ji!

I'm vice-president of Rockledge Corporation!

and he... A for apple, B for ball!

D for donkey!

Next week, I'll be signing a multi-million dollar deal with Phunshukh Wangdu!

and he... A for apple, B for ball!

Today, my respect grew even more for that Idiot Rancho!

We all went to college only to get a degree

If we dont have a degree, we won't have a job!

If you don't have a job, no father will give his daughter's hand

Bank won't give credit card, and the world won't respect us

But that idiot came to college, not for the degree but to study!

He wasn't afraid to come last or greedy to come first!

Who was the first man to step on the moon?

Neil Armstrong sir!

Obviously it's Neil Armstrong, we all know it. But who was the second man?

Don't waste your time, it's not important!

Nobody remembers the man who ever came second!

After two months, 26 companies will come to this college to offer jobs to you all!

That means before your final exams,

You'll have jobs on your hands!

This is your last act my friends!

Put the medal on the pedal, press the accelerator Go out there and make history!

Any questions?

Yes..

Sir, suppose any student gets a job and

he fails in the finals by 1-2 marks

then will the job remain or?

Very good question

is there any other person, in whose mind, the same question is arising?

As expected

Please come on stage, everyone give them a big hand. Come on the stage, come

Come, come, don't waste time!

For the past four years, they have been the most consistent students of I.C.E.!

Because consistently, they've come last in every exam

Come my geniuses, come

If we remove these two people's brains and sell them in the market, we'll get a very goodd price!

Because they are unused brains! They have never been used!

And to answer to their question

whether they paas or fail, it's not going to affect their jobs

because they are not going to get jobs at all!

I guarantee it

Their names will be written in gold

FARHANITRATE and PRERAJULISATION!

Give them a big hand please, everybody!

Idiot, he raped us completely

collective rape you know, in front of, in front of everyone!

God, I'll stop eating non-veg, I'll light thousands of incense sticks!

Do only one thing

take away Virus from this world!

Burn him in hell

Make hot pakkodas of him in hot oil! God!

Are you giving God a contract to kill?

Idiot you sit quietly

Idiot every year you sit in the centre with VIRUS and take photos

While we'll be rotting on the side

This year I think we'll be finished out of the photo itself!

Do you know why I come first?

Why?

Because I'm in love with machines

Engineering is my passion, passion

Do you know what your passion is?

Hey that's my bag

Keep quiet man!

What are you doing, Rancho?

Hey

This is your passion! This! This!

Go and post this letter

But what is it?

5 years ago, he had written this letter to his favorite wild life photographer!

Andre.. Isthawa?

Yeah Isthawa

He wanted to go to him, go to Hungary and learn, work from him!

but fearing his dad, due to Hitler Qureshi, he never posted the letter at all!

Aare, quit Engineering and become a wild life photographer!

Do that work which you are talented in!

If Lata Mangeshkar's dad would have told her to become a fast bowler

or Sachin Tendulkar's father would have told him to be a singer

Then think, where would they stand today?

Are you understanding what I'm saying?

Idiot, he loves animals but is marrying machines!

Baba Rancchoddas

My girlfriend and wife, both are engineering itself

Then why do I come last, tell?

Because you are a coward.. coward

See this, see his hand, the fingers are less and the rings are more

One for exam, one for sister's marriage and one for job

Aare if you are you scared of the future do you think you can live?

And what will you focus on today?

I've got weird friends yaar

One fears and lives, and one idiot dies and lives!

Hey

But you idiot, do both the things

You fear also and die also

I don't fear!

Hey listen

He dies on Pia and fears to tell

Go go, get lost

It's easy to give free advice dude but difficult to follow it

If you dare then go and tell pia! Tell

Hey from where all are you guys connecting things?

There's full connection Baba

Listen to me, listen to me

What I say is, if you go and tell Pia about what you're feeling

Then even I'll go and tell my dad that I want to be a photographer and don't want to be an engineer

Yes

Even I'll remove all my rings and go to an interview

Now say

Say... do you dare?

Baba Rancchoddas rolled his tongue back. What will he say?

Come

Come

Where, where?

Come

Viru

Jay has come Viru!

See, see if there's any dog!

Hey cowards, I'm not afraid of anything! Come!

Hey you guys get in. If there's any danger outside, I'll give a Virus alert!

Idiot! Virus! Old man!

Hey

Shall I give background music?

Pia?

Sshhhhh... don't shout

I'm Rancchoddas Chanchad

Listen to me for 2 minutes then I'll go away

[Raju singing in the background] [Don't say anything, don't say anything at all]

Pia,

the 22 minutes that I spent with you on the scooter

those were the most beautiful 22 minutes of my life!

I can spend the rest of my life on the scooter with you

Wow!

#.......everythin is still.......#

Do you know, you come on scooter everyday wearing a bride's costume in my dreams!

Instead of the veil, you take off your helmet

and you come near me to kiss me

but that kiss wont happen yaar

Why?

Because the nose comes in between and then I wake up

Nose doesn't come in between, stupid!

I'm sorry! I thought you were Pia

I wish i was

Sister, why did you interrupt in between?

He took 4 years to say this

Pia kiss him and tell him, nose doesn't come in between!

You have my permission

Kiss him yaar! He's so cute

Who is this?

Sister

Who are you?

Do you know, when you were speakin, he kicked for the first time!

He? How do you know if it's a he or she?

Dad had asked the astrologer

He wanted to know, is an engineer coming home or a doctor?

That means?

That means if it's a boy, then it's an engineer and if it's a girl, then it's a doctor

Oye champ you stay inside itself, outside there's a lot of circus!

And the circus's ringmaster, your granfather will spin the hunter and say run!

Life is a race, run, be an engineer

But you become whatever your heart says

If he scares you too much

Keep a hand on ur heart and say "All iz well"!

He kicked!

Say it again "Aal iz well"!

"Aal iz well"!

Yes! He kicked! He kicked Pia!

Say "Aal iz well"!

"Aal iz well"!

Goooooooo!

You sent a letter to my dad! Take this pee-mail freely from us

Pigeon, go go go

Pigeon, go go go

Pigeon, go go go

Who is it?

Who is it?

Your coming son-in-law! Idiotic Virus and marriage attenders!

Rastogi?!

Security! That way, that way!

So you all have already learnt about the simple pendulum

Now let's get down to the advanced study about compound pendulum

It's an irregular object oscillating about it's own axis

Let me demonstrate to you

What's this?

Pencil

What's inside it?

Lead!

Good! Lead is the axis to this pencil

Even you can be a compound pendulum if you osscilate about

Where is Raju Rastogi?

Present sir!

Hi, everybody is here

Good morning sir

Where were you last night?

Sir, he was studying sir. He was studying for the whole night sir!

Really?

He hasn't slept for two nights, that's why he's looking like this sir!

What are you saying?

What were you studying?

Ummmm

Induction motors sir, induction motor, he studied fully sir! Induction motor!

In that case, Mr. Raju Rastogi

Yes sir?

Can you tell me how an induction motor starts?

Brrrrrrrrm

Rrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

brrrrrrrrrr

Stop it!

Brrrrrrrrrrmmm brmmmmm brmm brm

Sir.. rum!!

Mr. Rastogi, let's have a cup of tea in my office

Sir

Close the door

Do you know how to type?

Yes sir

Can you type a letter for me?

Definitely sir

Come, sit

Sir, I'm sorry sir

Please type

Dear sir,

It is my painful duty to inform you that your son is restigated

No, no sorry. Delete it, delete it, go back!

Your son Mr. Raju Rastogi

Is restigated from the Imperial College of Engineering!

Come on, type, type, come on, go on!

Dad will die sir

Please type

Sir, please sir

My decision is final and irrevocable!

He's living only in hope that he could see me become an engineer sir!

You could've thought of this before you pissed in front of my door

Sir give me one more chance sir, please! Just one chance!

Sir, please sir!

Ok, remove your name from the letter

and put Rancchoddas Chanchad's name!

I know he was with you last night!

Be my witness and I won't remove you from the college

You have 7.5 minutes with you to think

#......we wont let you go .......#

#.......we shall not let you leave.......#

#.......even if god might summon you.......#

#.....but we are not the one who fear him.....#

#.....we are standing here in this ground with resolve.....#

#.....take out our eyes from our pal....#

#....no matter how hard you try.....#

#....we're not gonna let you leave lik this.....#

#......we wont let you go .......#

#.......we shall not let you leave.......#

Rancho, look at that monitor

Raju!

The body is paralyzed due to the shock

but the mind is alert

he can see us and hear us!

Please aunty, don't cry in front of him!

Talk to him normally, motivate him, crack jokes, keep him happy

Oye Raju, we have a good news yaar

Dad has become well yaar! That new medicine worked!

It's the Rastogi family's tradition that

If one man gets up, the other man will lie down!

Come on, come on, get up now!

Your dad is asking for Pia's scooter?

What do you say? Shall I give it?

Won't he bang it?

Hey Raju, Farhan wants to tell you somethin

On the webcam, live from the hostel!

See this, Virus has cancelled your suspension, problem solved!

Come on, wake up at least now!

Everything is solved

Oye are you listening? Hey!

Rastogi!

See this? Mom bought a new saree, new saree!

Brand new!

It costs 2000 bucks son, see?

At least get up now, idiot!

Not one, she bought ten sarees, ten!

See?!

Oye Raju!

Raju tell me, how do I look?

Hey, Kammo

have you heard about Kammo?

Aare, Kammo's marriage has been fixed

and that too without any dowry!

Hey, bridegroom, the bridegroom doesn't want Maruti 800

Doesn't want anything, wants Kammo, only Kammo

And do you know who the bridegroom is?

Yes?

Who's the bridegroom?

Guess it!

You know him very well!

He loves animals a lot

And, and he's gonna be a wild life photographer!

Hey keep quiet! Keep quiet!

Didn' t flash??

Aare,it's our Farhan yaar!

As if our Farhan will take dowry from you ppl!

Aare, our Farhan will marry your sister..Farhan!

And that too, free, free, free

Hey, hey

Hey, hey Raju

Raju

If we would have given 1 kilo lady's finger and 1/2 kilo paneer freely to that idiot,

Even then he would get up

What was the need to sacrifice me?

Well done yaar, well done, well done

Everything is fixed, your sister's marriage is fixed

Farhan will marry, ok done!

Rancho!

Idiots, how much wil you lie?

You are saved,idiot!

Did you call for a taxi?

I have called for it, it's waiting

Thank you

Why?

I have to go for a job interview

Oh, so you gonna go with me?

No, I'll drop you home and I'll go for the job interview!

Idiot, why will I go home?

Did you forget?

We had promised something to this idiot!

Give, give me your tie!

Why?

Give it, I dont think after reading this, you'll be able to go for the interview!

What is this?

It's a letter

It's come for you from Hungary!

It's some photographer, Andre Isthawan!

Idiots, you posted my letter?

He liked ur photos very much..he's become crazy!

He wants to make you his assistant!

He has called you to work, in the Brazilian rainforest for one year!

He's sayin..he'll even give you a salary!

Dad wont oblige!

Go to him and make him understand lovingly

Don't fear today farhan..

Otherwise after 50 years when you'll be old and fallen in the hospital

and waiting to die

you'll think then, this letter was in my hand, taxi was at the gate

if I had dared a little bit, life would have been somethin else!

What do you think, will he like it?

What was the need to get such an expensive one!

Today, son is getting a job

Now the days to put our head up and roam with pride are arriving and you are being stingy!?

Aare Farhan?

Farhan, today was your interview, right?

I didn't go

I don't wanna be an engineer dad!

What happened, you had an accident?

Sir, umm...

that building in front sir

II had jumped off its third floor sir

Why?

Because I was restigated

Why?

Sir I had pissed on director's door when I was drunk

That devil Rancho is still playing with your brain?

I can't understand engineering, even if I'll be an engineer, I'll be a very bad engineer dad!

Rancho tells a very simple thing

Whatever you enjoy doing, make that your profession!

Then work won't seem to be work, but a game!

Aare..how much will you earn in that jungle?

Dad, stipend isn't too much but I'll get to learn a lot!

After 5 years, when you'll see your friends buying a car

Then you'll curse urself!

I'll be frustrated being an engineer,

then I'll curse you throughout my life!

Dad,it's better I curse myself, right?

Aare..people will laugh!!

They'll say that you came till final year and had quit!

That Kapoor sir told me that you're lucky that your son is studyin in I.C.E.!

What will he think?

Kapoor sir didn't get AC fixed in my room!

Making me sleep comfortably, he himself didn't sleep in the heat!

Making me sit on his shoulders, Kapoor sir didn't take me around the zoo!

You did all that dad!

What you think, makes a difference!

What Kapoor sir thinks, it doesn't make a difference to me!

Aare, I don't even know his first name!

Have you watched a film and come, are you performing drama?

Stop it now, poor guy is tensed!

God forbid, if he does something like Raju!

Then the discussion is only over!

Don't say anything to your son or else he'll jump from the terrace!

No dad, I won't commit suicide

I promise!

That Rancho

Whom you call a devil

He forcibly made me put yours and mom's photo in this!

He started saying that promise me that whenever such stupid thoughts come to your mind

see this photo and think what will happen to this smile when they see your dead body!

Dad, i want to convince you!

But not by hanging this suicide's sword on ur head!

What will happen?

If I become a photographer, then I'll earn less right? Home will be small, car will be small!

But dad, I'll be happy

I will be really happy!

Whatever I do for you, I'll do it from my heart!

Till today I have listened to whatever you said. Today, just once, let me listen to my heart!

Please dad!

Dad, don't go, please!

Return this one

Son, how much will your professional camera cost?

Will we get it against this laptop?

If it costs more money, then ask me son

Go, go son, live your life

Your marks are consistenly poor, is there any particular reason?

It was due to fear. I was a bright student since childhood

My parents thought that I would abolish our poverty!

I started to fear!

When i came here, I saw that there's a race, if you don't come first, no one will recognize you

I started to fear even more!

Fear is not good for grades, sir!

I started wearing more rings, praying more

not only praying, I started begging God

"give me this, give me that!"

16 bones broke, i got two months to think, then I understood!

Sir, today i haven't told God to get me this job

I just folded my hands and said thank you for this life

If you guys, if you guys even reject me today, then I don't have any regrets

Because I believe I'll somehow do something worthy with my life sir!

See this very much frank behaviour of yours is not good for our company

We need a diplomatic person to handle the clients

and you are way too straightforward!

But if you assure us that you can control this attitude of yours

Then, something can happen

Sure

After breaking both limbs, I learnt to stand on my feet sir,

with great difficulty, I got this attitude in me! It won't; cant happen sir!

You keep your job, I'll keep my attitude

I'm sorry, don't mind sir

Stop

I've been recruiting for the past 25 years, I've conducted a lot of interviews

to get the job, people find "yes" in our "yes" itself!

From where have u come yaar?

Sir, I?

How much salary will you take brother? Let's discuss

Thank you sir

Thank you

Oh emperor

you are great

accept out gift

Govind!!!!!!!!!!!

Sir you only told if they get job, remove your moustache

What have you done?

I'm feeling like someone undressed me

humiliated me

I wont let you conquer, Rastogi

You're gonna get job only when you pass the final exams

but this time I'm gonna set the paper for the exam

Dad

That's not fair

Everything is fair in love and war

and this is World War 3

Rastogi you're gone this time

What are you doing here?

Easy, easy

You're drunk?

Yeah yaar, had to take two, four

two, four??

two or four?

I was in need of boldness

For what?

To steal this

What is this?

A duplicate key of Virus's office

Question papers are in the red sealed envelope

Dad has set by himself

to fail Raju in the exam

Take it out

Are you mad or what?

This is cheating yaar, no

Everything is fair in love and war

Ok, just tell me one thing

Do you really feel

nose comes in between if you wanted to kiss?

Hmmm

Hey have this dhokla, hold this,

You Gujrati people are too cute yaar, but why does your food sound so dangerous?

Dhokla, phaphda, handhwa, thepla, kakkrah

It seems as though they are some missiles!

Come, come on

Tonight bush dropped two dhoklas; 400 killed, 200 injured!

Come on

Aare

I can bear with khakrah, phaphda

But this name of your's

Rancchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad

yuck!

I won't change my surname after marriage, huh?

Pia, we can't get married

Why?

Do you love someone?

No

Are you a gay?

No

Then why don't you propose to me?

Are you impotent?

Then prove it, prove it

Pia, I'm not

Hey, stop, stop, stop, stop!

Aare, what happened?

Aare, we haven't informed Pia at all!

Oh stop now, my bladder's bursting!

Oh shut up yaar!

Are you in touch with her?

No yaar

But I have her landline number

Then dial it, I'll stop

Yeah stop, stop, stop

Hello!

No place to piss in this country??

Hello, yeah is Pia there?

She's not there sir

Ok where will she be availiable? In the hospital?

Sir, why will she go to hospital today? It's her marriage today!

She's gone to Manali!

Pia marriage is over!

It's not yet over, see, it's 6 hours away! If we speed up, then we'll surely reach before the marriage vows!

What do you say?

Now if you have already thought about it partner, then take a u-turn!

No u-turn! Straight to Ladakh, we'll meet Rancho and come back..

Friday, I have a meeting with Phunsukh Wangdu

Come, come, sit in the car

If I miss it, you know wat will happen!

The Japanese will get in

They are offering him a first name in the company

Phunshuk and Fujiashi, profit hearings are

Pia weds Suhas?!

and thanks for the suit!

Yaar Virus will suffer a heart attack

Hello, hello

Whenever his daughters are getting married, we come off to ruin it!

Ok listen, I'll handle Pia, you pull out the price tag!

Farhan!

We found Rancho, Pia!

Is it for 107?

Yes sir!

Give it here

How much time do you take yaar?

Sorry sir

Come on, go

House keeping, sir!

Come in!

More, more, amore

Quick, quick, iron my Sherwani!

More, more, amore

Aare, we found Rancho, still, will you marry this donkey?

You're mad, Farhan!

Don't fool urself Pia!

You love Rancho even today, and eating these dhoklas remembering him!

More,more, amore

He's a dog's tail, put it inside a pipe for 12 years, when you remove it, it'll still remain bent!

Shut up Farhan! Suhas is a changed man!

Now he never talks about brands and prices!

My 1.5 lakh Sherwani!

Why do you people eat chutney???

Sir I'll do something sir!

What, what will you do?

Sir, sir, we get such shirts and sherwanis everyday in our laundry sir!

I'll clean it within 2minutes sir!

Sir, one minute sir!

Get it soon!

But its too late now, Farhan!

Pia, Pia, come, it's getting late! Come on

Pia, I'm Raju, don't shout, people will kill me

Where is Suhas?

Aare, he had come from house-keeping, he took away the sherwani!

Go inside and send Suhas

The hymns are going on Pia, if I get up and go then everyone will be furious yaar!

Yes farhan, tell me

Car is ready at the gate

I'm saying, take Pia and run!

Aare don't move yaar

Sir?

Sherwani?

You are here?

Yes

Who's taking the vows over there?

Vows?

If the vows get over, then our marriage will be over, I'm already married Pia! Let's go!

There are so many people over here, all of them will laugh!

Aare, because people laugh, so will you suicide?

Aare..Rastogi?!

Pia, people will gossip for two days and forget it!

But today if you complete this marriage, you never forget that car was at the gate!

We had come to take you to Rancho, but only because you feared from people

You got married to this donkey!

House keeping?

Yaar Pia, there is a small, minor problem

What?

We don't know if Rancho's married or not

What?!

Aare, it wouldn't have happened yaar, it wouldn't have happened!

and if it would've happened?

Then we'll drop you back!

Aare, don't get angry, have this biscuit

Hand made biscuit from San Francisco

Idiot

From where did he come?

Ignore it,ignore it

You eat the biscuits, eat

It's very good

"Aal iz well, aal iz well"!

Till yesterday I was a noble citizen of this country

But in the last 24 hours, I had got an emergency landing of a plane

almost immersed Shyamaldas's soul in the gutter

and kidnapped a bride from her wedding

all for that idiot Rancho

but even that idiot gave out his heart for his friends

he had entered Ravan's territory, to steal a question paper for Raju

search for a red sealed envelope

ok come

He was very afraid, that if Raju failed, he'll again go and do a high jump!

but even we were very principled robbers!

We had sworn that we'd steal the paper only for Raju, we won't even see it ourselves!

Aare yaar, where has he hidden it?

Aare yaar, searching like this, it'll be good morning

Rancho, ask Pia

Where are you, since then I'm calling you?

Pia, your phone

Give it to me, one minute Pia, Pia

Jiju, when we say "Aal iz well", it kicks!

It kicked!

You heard?

Pia, your phone

We got it, Rancho

Hello?

Aare at least call me sometimes!

Make a copy, make a xerox copy, quick!

Take it

Put it wherever we got it from

Carefully!

Oye where have you been, huh?

Take this

What is it??

Enjoy

Question paper

Virus had set it by himself to make you fail the exam

Weird friends I've got

teaching how to live straight forward first

then making me do things that are odd

no, today

if I pass, it'll be on my own ability!

Otherwise it's ok if I fail!

Idiot!

Idiot won my heart! My heart said I'll make this idiot my brother-in-law

Umm, umm, then I controlled my emotion!

Go, go

No si,r no sir please..

You had come to change the system!

You'll piss on my door

Bloody rascals

Sorry sir

You are restigated, if you are'nt gone by morning, I'll call the police

I'll call the police!

Rascals! Rascals all of you!

How did he get my offic key?

I gave him the keys dad

I wish I had given it to my brother

He would have been alive today

Stop it Pia

What do you think? Brother fell off the train and died?

Shut up Pia!

You decided that he'll be an engineer

Did you ever ask him what he wanted to be?

How much you pressurised brother, dad

He thought it was easier to die than to give an entrance exam!

What is she saying?

Dad, you go into the room!

You get into your room!

Pia stop it, what are you doing Pia! I'm telling you right

Brother wanted to study literature, he wanted to be a writer

But he couldn't write anything more than this suicide note!

Pia, hide that letter, please!

Till when will I hide it sister?

Once

Only once if you would have told him

If you can do engineering then quit it!

Do whatever you like!

Then today brother would have been alive, dad!

He cannot suicide

You're right dad, it wasnt a suicide

It was a murder!

In many areas, the roads are immersed in water, there is total traffic jam!

Dad,

Dad!

Mona

Aare, I told you to go back right? Then why are you coming behind us?

Why, is this your mom's road?

Please help, we are desperate here! Is there only one ambulance in the city?

Get an ambulance from some other hospital!

The whole city is immersed in water, sir

We can't do anything!

No..Pia..that..

Hey Mona, what happened?

Rancho, pia!

Rancho, it's impossible to reach over here, so do as i say!

You guys are not understanding! Get water bags, drive fast!! You're not under-

They disconnected!!

Monaa!

Monaa!

Be careful, be careful

Turn on the light, turn on the light!

Table, table, able-tennis table

Raju, switch on the webcam!

Yaa

Ya Pia

Hello Raju, where is sister? Show me!

Yeah..hold on, hold on

dont worry.. hold on

See this Pia?

Sister, everything will be alright! I'm near you, ok?

Pia I'm dying

Rancho, when there were no hospitals and doctors in this world even then babies were born

You guys will carry on sister's delivery

"Aal iz well, aal iz well"

How dare you?!

What are you guys doing?

Dad, don't come in between! Please stay out of this, ok?!

Farhan, you go get towels and scissors

Millimeter, get cloth, drying clip, and hot water

Rancho you cover sister

Sister, push

Push, push, come on

Push

Keep quiet, I'm unable to push

Rancho, see if crowning is happening?

Crowning means?

Go get that diagram

Rancho, see if the head is coming out

Come on Rancho, quickly

Gooooooo

Go, go, go, go Rancho! Go, come on!

No, no crowning. It's not coming, no

Sister, please push!

Mona

Mona

She's tired Pia

Wake her up

If she doesn't push, then it'll be a big problem

Vacuum cup has to be put, Pia

from where will they get a vacuum cup over there?

What is a vacuum cup? How does it look? What do they do with it?

I'll show you

If the mother gets tired and is unable to push then this cup is put on the baby's head

the suction pump creates vacuum and this cup sticks on the baby's head

then the baby is pulled out

I can make this... I can make it!

How?

Vacuum cleaner sir

Vacuum cleaner??..

Yes sir, vacuum cleaner

But vacuum cleaner's pressure is too much Rancho

I'll control the pressure

Is there a vacuum cleaner over there?

It's there in my office

Farhan go soon and get it from sir's office

Take the key

Mona, push Mona, come on push!

What happened?

What happened?

Yeah Pia

Hello, Raju what happened?

The light is gone Pia

Oh god! Now how will the vacuum cleaner work?

Farhan, you get the vacuum cleaner and I'll get the light

How?

Millimeter, get virus out, fast come on

Come Virus, get out, get out

Aare not this Virus yaar, my Virus, the inverter that I had made

That?

Go get that quickly

Oh ok, that one, i understand!

Raju, wake everyone in the hostel

And tell them that we want car battery, wires, tool kit and vaccuum gauge, come on!

Come out, there's an emergency in the common room

Where is Rancho?

Sir, sir, sir, here sir

Everyone keep the batteries over here, come on, quickly!

and the wires

Raju, turn off all switches and connect this inverter to the mains

Take this

Rancho, vacuum cleaner

Farhan, that camera cleaning thing, what do you call it?

Plower, plower, go and get it quickly

Rancho, take this plower

Pull the vaccuum and put it on the pipe, over here!

Rancho, it's done!

Are all the switches off?

Now turn on only the table tennis table's and computer's light on!

Raju, turn on the computer, fast!

Help me, connect this, put it in this!

Pia, come quick, Pia, come quick

Love you Rancho

Farhan, turn it on!

Yes!

Pia, how much must the suction be?

Not more than 0.5 Rancho

Farhan, 0.5

Cover up

Yes

0.5

Ok

Delivery using vacuum cleaner, I haven't seen this in 20 yrs of my career!

Farhan, off it..

Yeah

Raju, get on the table, see me

Push the baby down like this, like this!

Farhan, turn it on

Come on sister, push, you can do it!

Come on Mona, push, come on!

Think about "Champ", for "Champ", come on!

Come on Mona, Mona push!

It's coming, it's coming!

Come on sister, you can do it!

Farhan, turn it off

Yeah yeah, I turned it off

Put two clips and cut the umbical chord

Farhan, get two clips fast!

Put it on the umbical chord and get scissors

Careful, careful

Get the towel, towel

Pia, Pia why isn't it cryin?

Hey

Hey "Champ"

Rancho rub its back

Hey "Champ"

No, nothing is happening

Blow air into its mouth

Come on

Come on "Champ"

Nothing is happening

Quiet Mona, quiet

Say "All iz well", say "aal iz well"

It kicked!

What?!

It kicked!!

Say "All iz well, aal iz well"

"aal iz well"

"aal iz well"

"aal iz well"

"aal iz well"

"aal iz well"

"aal iz well"

"aal iz well"

Yeah!!!

At that time if Virus would have told that his grandson would have been an engineer... I would have raped that idiot!

But when that idiot opened his mouth, then a miracle happened!

Solid you kick, will you become a footballer or what?

Become, become whatever your heart says

Stop! Where are you going?

I'm not finished with you...

On the first day of college, you had asked me a question, remember?

that why don't they use a pencil in space?

If the tip of the pencil breaks in space, then it will be revolving under the action of gravity

It can get into someone's eyes, it can get into someone's nose

It can get into the instrument panel

You were wrong! You were wrong!

You cannot be right all the time!

You understand?

Yes sir

This was a very important invention, you understand?

Yes sir

My director had told me

when any extraordinary student comes

Go, go, go...go study... Pass the exams and go away from here

And now student of the year: Rancchoddas Shyamaldas Chanchad

Sir, one photo sir!

I wanted to capture all these memories in my camera and take it with me!

On that day, everyone was hugging each other, getting emotional and making promises

That we'll stay in touch, we'll surely meet up once in a year!

Who knew that we were seeing Rancho for the last time?

Yaar, untie him!

I'll sue you all in American court!

Raju

This kinda school can only can be made by that idiot Rancho!

But where is he?

See there

Go in creatures, go

Don't piss over here!

You want a beating, huh?

Ha ha ha

We got him! That idiot is some where around, come on!

Brother, where will we find Rancchoddas?

Is his name Rancchoddas?!

Rancho

Chhote, chhote... chhote

Aare, what's his name ultimately?

Aare, cool down, cool down

Come with me

Where, where is Rancho?

Rancho, Rancho...

Farhan, do you know, he has read every book written by you! See this

Raju, he reads your blogs everyday!

He tells the children about your research very proudly!

Do you remember your helmet sister Pia?

It was stolen right?

Who are you? And how do you remember all our names?

Didn't you recognize me?

No

How will you recogzine, now that millimeter has become centimeter!

Oye oye oye! Idiot! What centimeter, you have become kilometer!

But what are you doing over here?

For the first time, I got a letter with my name on it. I found a train ticket in that

it was written inside that if you wanna study then board the train! And I boarded it

Idiot Rancho

Where is that idiot?

Furjee, take this and go!!!

You come in my dreams everyday on a scooter wearing a bride's costume!

Instead of the veil, you take off your helmet!

And you come near me to kiss me!

Aaaaaaah... ouch!

Couldn't you tell us and go?

Ummmm... no...

Ummmm... sorry

Did you get married?

What?.. What?...

No.. You?

Almost, idiot!

Then?

Then what?

Do you love someone?

Hmm..

Yeah

Who?

You...!

Did you see, the nose doesn't come in between, stupid!

Yes, that's right!

Idiot Rancho!

Hi, Farhan!

Aare keep your hi to yourself!

Aare listen to me!

No, you listen to me

Aare.. you listen to me... listen to me!

No, you listen to me, I'll explain everything

Hey Raju

Idiot!!

Look here

Aeee idiot

Hit him, hit him, two-three from my side aswell

Because of you, what all I had to become.. you know?

This idiot got glasses!

Come.. get up idiot.. get up

Hey idiot!

Having fun idiots?

Hey.. hi Chatur

Rancchoddas Chanchad

Namaste Masterji

Where have you reached? You have become a teacher in the village, eh?

A for apple, B for ball

We boarded the bus together right

But your train went away in reverse

Straight to primary teacher from engineering

Ha ha ha ha

whats the salary Chanchad? Tell me 5000 rupees, huh?

For me, that's like 100 dollars

My son's pocket money is more than your salary!

Hey stop this nonsense

He used to do nonsense, he wanted to change the education system

He wanted to change the world

Now he changes childrens' diapers over here!

Will you break his teeth or shall I break it? Idiot

Hey let it be!

Do you remember, I had told u

One day you'll cry and I'll laugh

Sign over here, accept it, that you lost and I won!

The declaration of defeat; unbelivable yaar, Chatur, unbelivable!

Hey, that is Virus's pen?

How did you get it? You stole it?

Umm.. now what shall I say yaar?

This is for winners.. not losers!

No problem, if you have any difficulty in school and need a donation

call my assistant, eh!

A for apple, B for ball

He hasn't changed at all yaar

Yaar ignore it, ignore it!

Leave him yaar, he'll keep saying anythin

Leave it, the good news is your name is not Rancchoddas Chanchad

Imagine after marriage I would be Pia Chanchad!

Yuck!

By the way, what's your real name?

Phunshukh Wangdu

Wangdu?

Pia Wangdu?

No.. that means you are a scientist?

That means you have 400 patents in your name?

I won't change my surname after marriage

That means you are Chatur's Wangdu?

Are the Japanese looking for you?

I don't like wangdu! I think so...

Yaar tell me one thing, are you a scientist or a teacher?

I'm a scientist but I also teach children

That means you are "THE" Phunshukh Wangdu?

Yes man, yes

Oye Silencer! Hey Chathur come back!

Stop, stop, stop

Take van, huh?

He won't stop that way! I'll stop him!

Mr. Wangdu, I can't believe you called!

I'm sorry Mr. Chatur but I can't sign a deal with your company!

What sir, what happened sir?

Aare how shall I sign yaar.. you took away my pen!

What pen sir? I didn't get you

The one thats in your hand; Virus's pen!!

Virus's pen??

Mr. Wangdu?

Ya tell me Chatur!

A for Apple, B for Ball, L for Lucky!

Yaar, he has been raped!!

You got me

You got me Rancho

I mean Mr. Wangdu! Totally flowed me! Good one!

I hope our personal problems are not goning to affect our deal

Hey Chatur, over here, here

I was just joking yaar, I knew it from within that you'll do something in life!

No.., you're lying?

No, no, no, no.. I'm telling you, I swear!

Rancho 100, Chatur zero!

You win, I lose. You don't believe me?

Aare yaar!

Oh emperor, you are great Accept the gift

I'll give you a free advice Mr. Wangdu... run!!

Run, run

Hey rancho, I'll lose my job yaar, I have small-small kids

Baba Rancchoddas used to say rightly

Kids, be self-efficeient, self-efficient

Then success will come behind you

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