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0
00:00:28,628 --> 00:00:31,119
Damn!
1
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,893
This is a good cigar.
2
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,833
You can tell a good cigar
by the way it feels.
3
00:00:36,936 --> 00:00:40,030
And this feels
like a good cigar.
4
00:00:42,842 --> 00:00:44,742
Look at that smoke.
5
00:00:44,844 --> 00:00:48,974
That's good cigar smoke there, boy.
[Chuckles]
6
00:00:49,082 --> 00:00:51,414
But I ain't here
to talk about cigars.
7
00:00:51,518 --> 00:00:54,351
I'm here to
tell you that, uh...
8
00:00:55,388 --> 00:00:57,379
I'm gonna kill
one of them kids.
9
00:00:57,490 --> 00:00:59,617
Oh, don't get me wrong.
I love 'em.
10
00:00:59,726 --> 00:01:02,559
They my blood.
I give 'em the shirt off my back.
11
00:01:02,662 --> 00:01:04,562
You ever see a chicken
with his neck wrung?
12
00:01:04,664 --> 00:01:06,791
Layin' to the side
all lazy and weak?
13
00:01:06,900 --> 00:01:09,198
That's what I'm gonna do to them kids.
Talk back to me one more time, snap!
14
00:01:09,302 --> 00:01:12,203
I'm gonna snap their neck off.
[Chuckles]
15
00:01:12,305 --> 00:01:14,205
They're too sassy.
They're too grown today.
16
00:01:14,307 --> 00:01:16,207
They talk back too much.
17
00:01:16,309 --> 00:01:19,039
I know what you're sayin', America.
I don't care what you're talkin' about.
18
00:01:19,145 --> 00:01:21,409
"Bernie Mac cruel.
Bernie Mac beat his kids."
19
00:01:21,514 --> 00:01:25,143
I don't care.
That's your opinion.
20
00:01:25,251 --> 00:01:29,187
'Cause you don't know the story.
You don't know what went down.
21
00:01:29,289 --> 00:01:31,189
And they're not my kids.
22
00:01:31,291 --> 00:01:33,384
So why are you mad at him?
23
00:01:35,728 --> 00:01:38,458
Because he turned you in?
24
00:01:38,565 --> 00:01:41,625
Girl, you stole from him.
I would've turned you in.
25
00:01:41,734 --> 00:01:44,760
America, let's talk.
Yeah, my sister's on drugs.
26
00:01:44,871 --> 00:01:47,965
That's okay. Some of
your family members messed up too.
27
00:01:48,074 --> 00:01:50,508
What am I supposed to do?
Allow these three kids...
28
00:01:50,610 --> 00:01:54,011
to go to the state or some foster home
or some white couple?
29
00:01:54,114 --> 00:01:56,207
Now hold on.
This ain't about race.
30
00:01:56,316 --> 00:01:58,216
It's not about race.
I just don't wanna hear 'em...
31
00:01:58,318 --> 00:02:00,479
[Stilted Diction]
Talkin' all proper like that. Know what I'm sayin'?
32
00:02:00,587 --> 00:02:02,646
That's all I'm tryin' to say,
or they gotta sit there...
33
00:02:02,755 --> 00:02:04,655
and share food
with 40 other kids?
34
00:02:04,757 --> 00:02:09,023
No, that ain't right.
I'm tryin' to do the right thing.
35
00:02:09,129 --> 00:02:13,828
[Voice Breaking Up] And sometimes
the right thing may not be the right thing.
36
00:02:13,933 --> 00:02:17,733
- Well, I'm gonna do the right thing.
- Just be careful.
37
00:02:19,506 --> 00:02:22,566
Did you hear what I said?
38
00:02:22,675 --> 00:02:24,973
You don't know what
you're getting yourself into.
39
00:02:27,080 --> 00:02:28,980
Are you listening to me?
40
00:02:29,082 --> 00:02:31,710
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Bernie Mac?
41
00:02:36,689 --> 00:02:40,887
I feel for his sister. But what does
Bernie Mac know about raising kids?
42
00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:44,657
He's a comedian.
He tells "yo mama" jokes.
43
00:02:44,764 --> 00:02:47,927
And how am I gonna explain to AT&T
that I'm late for work again...
44
00:02:48,034 --> 00:02:50,628
because my husband's
taping a TV show...
45
00:02:50,737 --> 00:02:54,104
and I spent the morning
cleaning poop out of the light socket?
46
00:02:54,207 --> 00:02:57,665
They don't play that.
They are AT&T.
47
00:02:59,779 --> 00:03:01,974
That's... just my opinion.
48
00:03:02,081 --> 00:03:04,379
[Tires Screech]
49
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,926
?? [Man Singing]
50
00:03:23,002 --> 00:03:25,129
- Yo, you're Bernie Mac!
- ?? [Continues]
51
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:27,832
Can I get your autograph?
52
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:29,966
[Chuckles]
King of Comedy!
53
00:03:38,885 --> 00:03:41,183
?? [Ends]
54
00:03:41,287 --> 00:03:44,222
- Excuse me. Are you Bernie Mac?
- Yeah, I'm Bernie.
55
00:03:44,324 --> 00:03:47,020
- Are you waiting for three children?
- Yeah!
56
00:03:47,126 --> 00:03:49,026
- We have a little problem.
- What's the problem?
57
00:03:49,128 --> 00:03:51,187
What do you mean they don't want
to get off the plane?
58
00:03:51,297 --> 00:03:55,199
The two girls are fine, but the little boy
just freaked out on our descent.
59
00:03:55,301 --> 00:03:58,793
He was crying. Then he started coughing.
He sounded pre-asthmatic.
60
00:03:58,905 --> 00:04:02,841
I know, because my nephew Timmy is a "pre,"
sounds exactly like that.
61
00:04:02,942 --> 00:04:05,706
Anyway, he kept saying he wanted
to go home. It was really sad.
62
00:04:05,812 --> 00:04:07,871
- Oh, and I think he wet his pants.
- Uh...
63
00:04:07,981 --> 00:04:10,449
- I told Stephanie to give him some wings...
- Sir, I get it.
64
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:12,450
- Thank you.
- Okay. Mr. Mac?
65
00:04:12,552 --> 00:04:14,452
- Yes?
- They're this way.
66
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,522
Thank you.
67
00:04:20,193 --> 00:04:23,526
Hey! Hey, kids!
68
00:04:23,630 --> 00:04:26,656
- It's your Uncle Bernie.
- [Screaming]
69
00:04:26,766 --> 00:04:29,030
What the hell was that?
70
00:04:29,135 --> 00:04:32,866
?? [Whistling]
Hey, young man...
71
00:04:32,972 --> 00:04:35,338
I'm so sorry
about steppin' on your foot.
72
00:04:35,441 --> 00:04:37,841
[Clears Throat]
73
00:04:37,944 --> 00:04:40,344
Listen, you all are gonna
really love it here. You are.
74
00:04:40,446 --> 00:04:43,142
It's gonna feel just like home,
trust me.
75
00:04:43,249 --> 00:04:45,615
- Oh, you live in the projects?
- [Chuckles]
76
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:48,846
You're pretty funny there, little girl.
Pretty funny there!
77
00:04:48,955 --> 00:04:51,480
Real nice.
Hey, look at that.
78
00:04:51,591 --> 00:04:53,650
Look at that.
Look at that big ass donut.
79
00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:55,853
Anybody want
a big ass donut?
80
00:05:02,468 --> 00:05:06,928
That's the best big ass donut
I ever had in my life.
81
00:05:07,974 --> 00:05:10,033
Damn!
82
00:05:10,143 --> 00:05:12,202
Mmmm!
83
00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:14,507
Anybody sure they don't want
a bite of this big ass donut?
84
00:05:14,614 --> 00:05:16,514
We don't feel
like eating.
85
00:05:16,616 --> 00:05:19,608
Good. You ain't gotta eat.
86
00:05:19,719 --> 00:05:22,244
You ain't hurtin' me.
I'm full.
87
00:05:23,623 --> 00:05:25,523
My stomach hurt anyway.
88
00:05:27,293 --> 00:05:29,921
Psychology.
89
00:05:30,029 --> 00:05:31,929
You know what I
should've got?
90
00:05:32,031 --> 00:05:35,797
Damn! I should've got
a big ass chocolate milk. Mmm!
91
00:05:35,902 --> 00:05:38,666
[Laughing]
Uncle Bernie, you're funny.
92
00:05:38,771 --> 00:05:40,705
- Y'all think I'm funny, man?
- [Laughing]
93
00:05:40,807 --> 00:05:42,775
- [Coughing]
- [Crying]
94
00:05:44,844 --> 00:05:48,974
- Bryana, what's wrong, baby?
What's wrong with you?
- I want a donut too.
95
00:05:49,082 --> 00:05:51,949
Aw, baby, ain't no problem.
Here.
96
00:05:52,051 --> 00:05:55,452
You can have anything you want. Whatever
you want, just ask your Uncle Bernie. Hear?
97
00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:58,615
- Can I have a big ass bike?
- Watch your mouth.
98
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,172
?? [Whistling]
99
00:06:15,508 --> 00:06:17,408
- [Coughs]
- All right, kids.
100
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,843
- Home sweet home.
- [Coughing Continues]
101
00:06:22,448 --> 00:06:24,348
Hey!
102
00:06:24,450 --> 00:06:26,509
Come in! Come in!
103
00:06:26,619 --> 00:06:28,519
Welcome home!
104
00:06:28,621 --> 00:06:31,681
- Oh, you kids have grown!
- Hi, Aunt Wanda.
105
00:06:31,791 --> 00:06:33,691
[Chuckles]
Oh!
106
00:06:33,793 --> 00:06:37,320
Now, I know you kids
have been through a lot lately...
107
00:06:37,430 --> 00:06:40,490
and I want you to know that we
love you very much, okay?
108
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:43,626
Could you spend the day with us,
Aunt Wanda?
109
00:06:43,736 --> 00:06:46,398
Aw, sweetness...
110
00:06:46,506 --> 00:06:49,964
your Aunt Wanda would like nothing
better than to spend tomorrow...
111
00:06:50,076 --> 00:06:52,476
fillin' her heart bowl
with your sugar.
112
00:06:52,578 --> 00:06:56,742
But your Aunt Wanda works for AT&T,
precious, and she can't just up and miss.
113
00:06:56,849 --> 00:06:59,374
- They don't play that.
- Okay.
114
00:06:59,485 --> 00:07:01,851
[Bernie]
In order for us to live as a family...
115
00:07:01,954 --> 00:07:03,945
I gotta set down a few house rules.
116
00:07:04,056 --> 00:07:07,992
First, this is my house.
Don't get me wrong.
117
00:07:08,094 --> 00:07:10,221
This is our home,
but this is my house.
118
00:07:10,329 --> 00:07:12,729
Mi casa es mi casa.
119
00:07:12,832 --> 00:07:15,164
- [Coughing]
- Close your mouth, boy.
120
00:07:15,268 --> 00:07:19,432
Second, in my house,
this is all my stuff.
121
00:07:19,539 --> 00:07:23,236
And you are not to touch my stuff
without my permission.
122
00:07:26,179 --> 00:07:29,512
Let me break it down.
Don't touch my TV.
123
00:07:29,615 --> 00:07:31,515
Don't touch my D.V.D.
124
00:07:31,617 --> 00:07:33,517
Don't touch
my dual-deck V.C.R.
125
00:07:33,619 --> 00:07:35,985
And most definitely
don't touch the remote...
126
00:07:36,088 --> 00:07:39,990
that works the TV,
the D. V.D. And the dual-deck V.C.R.
127
00:07:40,092 --> 00:07:42,492
- Any questions?
- Can we tou...
128
00:07:42,595 --> 00:07:46,861
No, you can't touch nothin'. Don't look at it.
When you walk past it, close your eyes.
129
00:07:46,966 --> 00:07:49,958
Come on over here. I got somethin' else
very important to show you.
130
00:07:50,069 --> 00:07:53,095
This is deep.
[Grunts]
131
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:55,265
Don't touch
my old school...
132
00:07:55,374 --> 00:07:58,002
my new school,
my slow jams...
133
00:07:58,110 --> 00:08:01,375
my party jams, my happy rap.
134
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:06,282
And you better not touch...
myJames Brown...
135
00:08:06,385 --> 00:08:09,218
or somebody's really
gonna get hurt.
136
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,086
- You understand?
- [Whimpers]
137
00:08:13,893 --> 00:08:15,884
Now, y'�ll children,
come on:
138
00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,088
Let's have some ice cream.
Come on.
139
00:08:18,197 --> 00:08:20,688
"Bernie Mac,
why you so strict?"
140
00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:23,633
Tough love's good for 'em.
I don't play.
141
00:08:23,736 --> 00:08:26,728
Never did play. This small,
never smiled or nothin'.
142
00:08:26,839 --> 00:08:29,501
Hated school 'cause they had recess.
143
00:08:29,609 --> 00:08:33,773
Teacher told me to go outside for recess.
I didn't go, 'cause I don't play.
144
00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:35,848
[Crash]
145
00:08:39,986 --> 00:08:42,386
Didn't I tell you
not to touch this, boy?
146
00:08:42,488 --> 00:08:45,719
Didn't I tell you not to touch this,
Jordan? Yes or no?
147
00:08:45,825 --> 00:08:48,760
- [Jordan Sobbing]
- Oh, man, come on. Don't start.
148
00:08:48,861 --> 00:08:50,761
What did I say?
Stop that cryin'.
149
00:08:50,863 --> 00:08:52,763
All I did
was ask a question.
150
00:08:52,865 --> 00:08:54,992
- [Sobbing Continues]
- Oh, no, you're not. No, you're not!
151
00:08:55,101 --> 00:08:58,901
You wettin' on yourself?
Are you wettin' on yourself?
152
00:08:59,005 --> 00:09:01,565
- Come here, boy! Come here!
- [Shouting]
153
00:09:01,674 --> 00:09:05,770
Don't you run from me!
I'm too old for this! Man, come here!
154
00:09:05,878 --> 00:09:08,847
[Panting]
155
00:09:12,952 --> 00:09:15,011
I'm cool.
156
00:09:15,121 --> 00:09:17,089
Everything is cool.
157
00:09:18,724 --> 00:09:22,319
If it don't apply,
let it fly.
158
00:09:23,362 --> 00:09:26,229
You know.
159
00:09:26,332 --> 00:09:28,857
I'm too old.
160
00:09:28,968 --> 00:09:31,937
[TV.' Indistinct]
161
00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:37,033
- What?
- I need to go to the store.
162
00:09:37,143 --> 00:09:39,839
I need to go to the Bahamas.
Got a solution?
163
00:09:43,149 --> 00:09:45,242
[Clears Throat]
164
00:09:45,351 --> 00:09:48,718
- What you need to go to the store for, baby girl?
- I need to pick up some things.
165
00:09:48,821 --> 00:09:50,721
- We got things here.
- No.
166
00:09:50,823 --> 00:09:55,157
I need to pick up some,
uh, personal things.
167
00:09:55,261 --> 00:09:58,389
What type of personal things
you need to...
168
00:09:58,497 --> 00:10:00,624
Oh, no, no.
You're only thir...
169
00:10:00,733 --> 00:10:05,170
Oh, man, don't do that.
You're only 13 years old, man.
170
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:07,671
- Whoo!
- [Tapping On Table]
171
00:10:07,773 --> 00:10:10,401
[Jordan]
I need my medicine.
172
00:10:10,509 --> 00:10:13,273
[Horn Honking]
173
00:10:13,379 --> 00:10:17,008
- [Coughing]
- Oh... Oh, Jordan!
174
00:10:17,116 --> 00:10:19,812
- Why didn't you tell me?
- [Coughing Continues]
175
00:10:19,919 --> 00:10:23,480
Cover your... Cover your mouth, boy.
That's nasty.
176
00:10:23,589 --> 00:10:25,489
Hey!
177
00:10:25,591 --> 00:10:28,719
Hey-hey-hey! Hey,
you're Bernie Mac, ain't ya?
178
00:10:28,828 --> 00:10:31,956
- Hey, brother, how ya doin'?
- Aw, Bernie, man.
179
00:10:32,064 --> 00:10:36,592
- I ain't ate in two weeks, brother. Two weeks!
- You kiddin'. Just two?
180
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:40,297
It's been so long,
I forgot what food tastes like anymore.
181
00:10:40,406 --> 00:10:42,931
- You know what? I wouldn't even worry about it.
- No?
182
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:44,669
- No.
- Why not?
183
00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,836
- 'Cause it still tastes the same.
- Aw!
184
00:10:46,946 --> 00:10:52,680
- Man, you dead weight. I don't even like your ass!
- Yeah, right. Yeah, okay.
185
00:10:52,785 --> 00:10:56,516
- We got the fax from his doctor in Chicago.
- Oh, good!
186
00:10:56,622 --> 00:10:59,614
- We have his medicines in stock. Just sign here.
- Good. Good.
187
00:10:59,725 --> 00:11:02,421
- Sign right here?
- Yeah. Has he had any Proventil today?
188
00:11:02,528 --> 00:11:05,964
- Pro who?
- Proventil. It's for his cough.
189
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,556
He wasn't coughin' this mornin'.
190
00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,602
What about Tilade or Flovent?
191
00:11:10,703 --> 00:11:15,197
No, he's cool. I gave him a couple
of Vicks about a half an hour ago.
192
00:11:15,307 --> 00:11:17,798
You gave him cough drops?
193
00:11:17,910 --> 00:11:20,743
Yeah. The
cherry bubble gum kind.
194
00:11:20,846 --> 00:11:23,406
No. This boy is pre-asthmatic.
195
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:27,714
Unless you use a steroidal inhaler,
he's gonna be in a lot of trouble.
196
00:11:27,820 --> 00:11:32,587
- Are you the legal guardian?
- Look, I'm doin' the best I can.
197
00:11:32,692 --> 00:11:35,126
Just give me my medicine, please.
198
00:11:35,227 --> 00:11:39,254
The cherry bubble gum kind...
they like that. It's sweet.
199
00:11:39,365 --> 00:11:42,334
- [Jordan] Give it back!
- [Bryana] No!
200
00:11:42,435 --> 00:11:45,302
- Please, can I have the cherry bubble gum?
- [Jordan, Bryana Arguing]
201
00:11:45,404 --> 00:11:47,998
- I'll be right back.
- [Jordan] Give it back!
202
00:11:48,107 --> 00:11:51,736
- Hey, hey, hey. Look, look, look. Stop.
- Give it back!
203
00:11:51,844 --> 00:11:54,074
- Mine!
- Stop this arguing. Stop it. Stop it.
204
00:11:54,180 --> 00:11:57,308
- She won't give it back!
- Jordan, Jordan, Jordan!
205
00:11:57,416 --> 00:11:59,543
There's hundreds of boxes
of cereal on there.
206
00:11:59,652 --> 00:12:03,986
- Get some Count Chocolate or somethin'.
- I don't want Count Chocula!
207
00:12:04,090 --> 00:12:07,582
- I want mine!
- Boy, quit being so soft here!
208
00:12:07,693 --> 00:12:09,923
You always cryin'.
You gotta be a man.
209
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:12,827
- I don't wanna be a man!
- [Stammering]
210
00:12:12,932 --> 00:12:15,833
- I want my cereal!
- Boy, you gettin' ready...
211
00:12:15,935 --> 00:12:18,495
You ain't fixin' to piss up in here?
212
00:12:18,604 --> 00:12:21,368
- Don't... you... piss... up... in... this... store!
- Ow! Ow! Ow!
213
00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:24,875
Come here. Come here.
What y'�ll lookin' at? What you lookin' at?
214
00:12:24,977 --> 00:12:27,639
- Watch out now! Hot cold urine!
- [Sobbing Continues]
215
00:12:27,747 --> 00:12:30,272
Watch out! Watch out!
Urine!
216
00:12:30,382 --> 00:12:32,714
I know you can hold it.
You can hold it, boy. Hold it!
217
00:12:32,818 --> 00:12:36,276
Ain't nothin' but a little piss.
Lady, look out! Lady! Lady!
218
00:12:36,388 --> 00:12:39,949
- He peed on the film counter?
- Urine.
219
00:12:40,059 --> 00:12:42,926
- Where were you?
- I was holdin' the boy.
220
00:12:43,028 --> 00:12:45,622
You held him while he peed
on somebody's family photos?
221
00:12:45,731 --> 00:12:48,063
No, I was developin'
the film faster.
222
00:12:48,167 --> 00:12:50,192
What the hell you think
I was doin', Wanda?
223
00:12:50,302 --> 00:12:52,202
I was tryin' to get the boy
to the bathroom.
224
00:12:52,304 --> 00:12:54,534
I had his pants down.
He ain't right.
225
00:12:54,640 --> 00:12:56,540
He ain't right.
226
00:12:56,642 --> 00:12:58,837
Bernie, those kids
have been through hell.
227
00:12:58,944 --> 00:13:01,913
He probably just misses his mama,
and that's his way of expressing it.
228
00:13:02,014 --> 00:13:04,608
When I was his age, baby,
I missed my daddy too...
229
00:13:04,717 --> 00:13:06,810
but I still held
my damn bowels.
230
00:13:06,919 --> 00:13:11,151
- That's good.
- At some point, the boy got to be a man.
231
00:13:11,257 --> 00:13:14,283
I think that point is 18,
not eight.
232
00:13:14,393 --> 00:13:18,523
Not everybody is as strong
as Bernie Mac, you know.
233
00:13:19,565 --> 00:13:22,432
- You got that right.
- Mm-hmm.
234
00:13:22,535 --> 00:13:24,435
[Jordan Coughing]
235
00:13:24,537 --> 00:13:26,505
Medicine time.
236
00:13:31,644 --> 00:13:35,410
- I gotta get used to this, I'm telling you.
- You will. You will.
237
00:13:35,514 --> 00:13:39,075
- ?? [Man Singing]
- [No Audible Dialogue]
238
00:13:56,335 --> 00:13:59,771
?? [Continues]
239
00:14:35,908 --> 00:14:37,876
?? [Ends]
240
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,913
Wait. Wait.
He was in love with GraceJones.
241
00:14:44,016 --> 00:14:46,211
- Come on. Come on.
- You told me that!
242
00:14:46,318 --> 00:14:48,684
- It's on you, Bernie Mac. It's on you.
- [Laughing]
243
00:14:48,787 --> 00:14:50,687
Or should I call you "Daddy Mac."
He got babies now.
244
00:14:50,789 --> 00:14:52,780
- Oh, that's wrong.
- Changing diapers.
245
00:14:52,892 --> 00:14:55,759
Hey, homes, if you needed kids,
man, you could've asked me.
246
00:14:55,861 --> 00:15:00,355
- I got a couple I ain't usin'.
- And a couple he ain't seen.
247
00:15:00,466 --> 00:15:03,026
Y'�ll real, real funny.
Real funny.
248
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:06,195
You play with a puppy,
he'll lick you in the mouth.
249
00:15:06,305 --> 00:15:10,674
- You pet a dog, you'll get your ass bit.
- You'll get your ass bit.
250
00:15:10,776 --> 00:15:13,244
- You ain't lyin' right there.
- Too funny.
251
00:15:15,014 --> 00:15:18,074
- Yes?
- [Dialing]
252
00:15:18,183 --> 00:15:20,083
- May I help you?
- [Door Closes]
253
00:15:23,222 --> 00:15:25,952
[Laughing]
Did you see...
254
00:15:26,058 --> 00:15:27,958
She probably just
didn't wanna interrupt.
255
00:15:28,060 --> 00:15:30,620
That's her way of showing you respect.
[Laughing Continues]
256
00:15:30,729 --> 00:15:33,061
- Give me the phone.
- [Vanessa] What phone?
257
00:15:33,165 --> 00:15:35,759
- See what I mean?
- I'm not gonna knock again, Vanessa.
258
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:38,735
Can you hold on, please?
259
00:15:38,837 --> 00:15:41,897
Who in the... Nessa!
260
00:15:42,007 --> 00:15:44,168
He is trippin', okay?
261
00:15:44,276 --> 00:15:46,437
I'll call you back.
Okay. Bye.
262
00:15:49,682 --> 00:15:51,912
Didn't I tell you don't touch nothin'
without my permission?
263
00:15:52,017 --> 00:15:54,417
- You didn't say the phone.
- I didn't say the phone?
264
00:15:54,520 --> 00:15:59,457
You said, don't touch the TV,
the V.C.R., the D.V. D...
265
00:15:59,558 --> 00:16:03,517
your old school, your new school
and your happy rap...
266
00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,995
but you never said
we couldn't touch the phone.
267
00:16:06,098 --> 00:16:09,431
Technically, she's right.
Technically.
268
00:16:09,535 --> 00:16:13,301
It ain't about the phone. It's about the simple
things in life, about teaching you respect.
269
00:16:13,405 --> 00:16:15,305
- You understand?
- Whatever.
270
00:16:15,407 --> 00:16:16,408
"Whatever"?
"Whatever" ain't no answer.
271
00:16:16,408 --> 00:16:18,342
"Whatever"?
"Whatever" ain't no answer.
272
00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,378
How about,
"Yes, sir, Uncle Bernie"?
273
00:16:20,479 --> 00:16:23,039
- You hear what I said?
- You ain't none of my daddy.
274
00:16:23,148 --> 00:16:25,048
I ain't none of your what?
275
00:16:25,150 --> 00:16:27,141
What'd you say to me?
276
00:16:27,252 --> 00:16:29,413
Let me tell you somethin'.
I got news for you.
277
00:16:29,521 --> 00:16:31,421
- I'm not tryin' to be your daddy.
- Good.
278
00:16:31,523 --> 00:16:33,855
I'm..."Good"? "Good"?
279
00:16:33,959 --> 00:16:37,156
Can you believe this?
Y'�ll keep watchin'.
280
00:16:37,262 --> 00:16:39,628
It gets worse. "Good."
281
00:16:39,732 --> 00:16:41,962
Like I'm a sissy or some... Okay.
282
00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:45,195
You keep on talkin' to me
with that attitude, little girl...
283
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:49,468
I may not be your daddy,
but I'll whup your ass just like your daddy.
284
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,543
And you'll go tojail
like you was my daddy too.
285
00:16:51,643 --> 00:16:53,611
Ooh.
286
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,148
[Bangs On Door]
287
00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:00,850
- [Bangs On Door]
- Don't come out.
288
00:17:00,953 --> 00:17:03,012
I'm gonna bust your head
till the white meat... Come out!
289
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:07,650
That's right. I said, I'm gonna bust
her head till the white meat show.
290
00:17:07,760 --> 00:17:11,719
I ain't ashamed that I said it.
Ain't nobody gonna make me take it back.
291
00:17:15,300 --> 00:17:18,531
Corporal punishment?
I spanked the boy on his behind in the store.
292
00:17:18,637 --> 00:17:21,128
- Who told you that?
- That's not important, Mr. Mac.
293
00:17:21,240 --> 00:17:23,902
- What's impor...
- No, Mr. Cooley. Who told you that?
294
00:17:24,009 --> 00:17:25,909
- Well, the oldest girl.
- Vanessa?
295
00:17:26,011 --> 00:17:29,276
You can't believe anything she said.
She's just a child, Mr. Cooley.
296
00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:33,818
She also said that you threatened
to "whup her like you were her daddy."
297
00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:38,117
She... She dissed me
in front of my boys, Mr. Cooley.
298
00:17:38,223 --> 00:17:40,214
Come on.
You just don't do that.
299
00:17:40,325 --> 00:17:45,888
Okay. Did you also say, you're going to
"bust her head till the white meat shows"?
300
00:17:45,998 --> 00:17:48,831
- That's... They're my boys.
- Mr. Mac...
301
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:52,563
- Come on.
- Mr. Mac, between that and the profanity...
302
00:17:52,671 --> 00:17:55,401
Hold on. I don't use no profanity
in front of those children.
303
00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:57,407
That's a lie.
Who told you that?
304
00:17:57,509 --> 00:18:00,444
You didn't say,
"big ass donut"?
305
00:18:02,448 --> 00:18:04,939
- Who... Who told you that?
- The littlest one.
306
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:06,950
- But the point is...
- My family...
307
00:18:07,052 --> 00:18:09,782
- I'm here to help, not to hinder.
- Bunch of stool pigeons.
308
00:18:09,888 --> 00:18:11,685
You want the kids to live here.
309
00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:14,520
- I want the kids to live here.
- You know I want the kids to live here. Come on!
310
00:18:14,626 --> 00:18:17,390
Neither of us wants a situation.
311
00:18:20,833 --> 00:18:22,733
- Come on, Cooley.
- Are you a smoker?
312
00:18:22,835 --> 00:18:26,134
- Cigars. Every now and then, I smoke a cigar.
- But you don't...
313
00:18:26,238 --> 00:18:28,866
No. No. I smoke
in the den if I do.
314
00:18:28,974 --> 00:18:32,205
- Only in the den. My wife...
- [Jordan Coughing]
315
00:18:32,311 --> 00:18:35,474
In the den.
My wife, she don't like it.
316
00:18:35,581 --> 00:18:37,606
- I swear.
- [Coughing Continues]
317
00:18:37,716 --> 00:18:40,844
Tryin' to take my babies
from me.
318
00:18:42,321 --> 00:18:44,221
They take my babies from me,
I'm lost.
319
00:18:44,323 --> 00:18:46,518
Without them, I'm nothin'.
320
00:18:46,625 --> 00:18:49,423
Lord, you know I do
everything you ask.
321
00:18:49,528 --> 00:18:53,362
You can take the kids,
but you can't take my babies.
322
00:18:54,399 --> 00:18:57,664
[Sighs]
Y'�ll got the camera on.
323
00:18:57,769 --> 00:19:00,101
Ain't nothin' sacred.
Cut the camera off.
324
00:19:02,007 --> 00:19:05,408
- [Bryana] I'm scared.
- Bryana?
325
00:19:07,646 --> 00:19:10,171
Come here, baby girl.
326
00:19:10,282 --> 00:19:13,683
- What you scared of?
- You.
327
00:19:13,785 --> 00:19:16,913
Me? Why you scared
of me?
328
00:19:17,022 --> 00:19:20,389
I'm sorry
I broke your record.
329
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:24,326
- You told me not to touch it, but I touched it.
- Oh!
330
00:19:24,429 --> 00:19:27,193
I didn't mean to,
but I did.
331
00:19:27,299 --> 00:19:29,267
That's all right.
332
00:19:29,368 --> 00:19:31,859
Don't worry about it.
I can replace it.
333
00:19:31,970 --> 00:19:35,201
- Really?
- No. [Chuckles]
334
00:19:35,307 --> 00:19:38,105
But if you say you're sorry,
that's the right thing to do.
335
00:19:38,210 --> 00:19:40,144
And I forgive you.
336
00:19:40,245 --> 00:19:43,681
And I'm sorry
if I scared you, okay?
337
00:19:43,782 --> 00:19:46,683
Okay. I forgive you.
338
00:19:49,454 --> 00:19:51,820
You forgive me?
339
00:19:51,924 --> 00:19:54,290
Thank you, baby girl.
340
00:19:54,393 --> 00:19:56,861
Come on. Let's get back to bed.
Come on.
341
00:20:02,668 --> 00:20:05,034
- Uncle Bernie?
- Huh?
342
00:20:05,137 --> 00:20:07,503
Are you
our daddy now?
343
00:20:08,574 --> 00:20:10,599
Wow.
344
00:20:10,709 --> 00:20:13,701
No. I'm still
old Uncle Bernie, okay?
345
00:20:13,812 --> 00:20:17,111
Can I call you
Uncle Daddy?
346
00:20:19,451 --> 00:20:23,785
No. You keep calling me
Uncle Bernie.
347
00:20:23,889 --> 00:20:26,187
- Okay?
- Okay.
348
00:20:26,291 --> 00:20:28,259
Come on.
349
00:20:31,663 --> 00:20:33,722
You see what I'm talkin' about?
350
00:20:33,832 --> 00:20:35,732
See what I'm sayin'?
351
00:20:35,834 --> 00:20:38,632
What am I supposed to do?
Hide my feelings? Lie?
352
00:20:38,737 --> 00:20:41,968
Come on, America.
We're family. You and I are family.
353
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:45,202
When I say I wanna kill those kids,
you know what I mean.
354
00:20:45,310 --> 00:20:47,574
I don't have to explain.
Come on.
355
00:20:47,679 --> 00:20:50,705
Bernie Mac just say
what you wanna say, but can't.
356
00:20:50,816 --> 00:20:53,080
But that's all right.
I'm the bad guy.
357
00:20:53,185 --> 00:20:56,177
I'll be the bad guy.
See, I just...
358
00:20:57,756 --> 00:20:59,724
I'm sorry.
359
00:21:05,931 --> 00:21:09,697
Now, that's a start.
That's most definitely a start.
360
00:21:16,575 --> 00:21:19,908
See, America? Y'�ll thought
I was all wrong and everything. Y'�ll...
361
00:21:21,313 --> 00:21:23,213
I'm sorry too.
362
00:21:25,450 --> 00:21:27,611
"Sorry"? What did you do?
363
00:21:27,719 --> 00:21:31,246
You don't know?
[Mutters]
364
00:21:31,356 --> 00:21:33,256
Cut the camera off.
365
00:21:33,358 --> 00:21:35,383
Cut the camera off.
Come here!
366
00:21:35,494 --> 00:21:37,462
Come here!
367
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:44,696
Hey, look!
368
00:21:44,803 --> 00:21:46,794
- Hey, how ya doin'?
- I can't believe it's you!
369
00:21:46,905 --> 00:21:49,669
- Okay. Okay.
- Grandma! Grandpa!
370
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,944
- Do they know you?
- I... I...
371
00:21:54,046 --> 00:21:56,844
Grandpa, that's Bernie Mac.
He's so funny.
372
00:21:56,948 --> 00:21:59,883
- I remember when he said,
"I ain't scared of your..."
- Hey, hey...
373
00:21:59,985 --> 00:22:02,545
Hey, just stay tight
with your grandparents, okay?
374
00:22:02,654 --> 00:22:04,622
- These kids sure love you.
- I don't know about that.
375
00:22:04,723 --> 00:22:06,623
- Thank you. Thank you.
- No. Thank you.
376
00:22:06,725 --> 00:22:09,193
Y'all have a good one, hear?
All right.
30461
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