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1
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:28,317
Why isn't this
stupid thing workin?
2
00:01:28,421 --> 00:01:29,786
See, that's that bullshit.
3
00:01:29,856 --> 00:01:31,576
I'm taking this shit
right back to Best Buy.
4
00:01:33,126 --> 00:01:34,616
Or not.
5
00:01:34,694 --> 00:01:36,457
Stupid lens cap.
6
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:37,962
Wow!
7
00:01:38,331 --> 00:01:39,355
Brand-new camera.
8
00:01:39,466 --> 00:01:41,491
I'm filming
everything with this.
9
00:01:41,601 --> 00:01:44,126
Christmas, New Year's, vagina.
10
00:01:44,704 --> 00:01:48,504
All right.
Today is the big day.
11
00:01:48,608 --> 00:01:50,701
My girlfriend
Kisha's moving in.
12
00:01:50,810 --> 00:01:52,971
Now, all my boys keep telling
me, "Don't do it, don't do it,
13
00:01:53,046 --> 00:01:54,809
because everything's
gonna change."
14
00:01:54,881 --> 00:01:56,314
"She's gonna take
over your house."
15
00:01:56,382 --> 00:01:57,582
"She's never
gonna cook again."
16
00:01:57,617 --> 00:01:58,675
"And worst of all,
17
00:01:58,785 --> 00:02:01,151
you're putting
your dick in jail."
18
00:02:01,221 --> 00:02:02,620
I think they're trippin'.
19
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,556
Once she moves in,
everything's gonna be perfect.
20
00:02:05,658 --> 00:02:06,852
Place looks nice.
21
00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,860
Baby boy cleaned up
for you, huh?
22
00:02:08,962 --> 00:02:10,657
Oh, shit!
23
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:12,027
Rosa!
24
00:02:13,466 --> 00:02:14,990
Hey, you gotta
announce yourself.
25
00:02:15,068 --> 00:02:17,059
You can't just creep up on me.
26
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:18,899
Aw, come on. This is
my housekeeper, Rosa.
27
00:02:18,972 --> 00:02:21,167
Say hi. Say hi.
Say hi!
28
00:02:21,241 --> 00:02:23,004
Hi! Hola.
Say "Hola." Hola.
29
00:02:23,076 --> 00:02:24,065
Bye-bye!
30
00:02:24,210 --> 00:02:25,690
No, no. We gonna
say hi the right way.
31
00:02:28,047 --> 00:02:29,378
Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay!
32
00:02:29,482 --> 00:02:31,313
Do this.
Oh!
33
00:02:31,651 --> 00:02:32,982
I'm a big bambino?
34
00:02:35,855 --> 00:02:37,482
You know I love you.
35
00:02:37,690 --> 00:02:39,988
Hey, Shiloh!
Say hi to Mommy.
36
00:02:40,226 --> 00:02:43,093
I'm gonna hump you on your leg, Kisha.
That's right.
37
00:02:43,163 --> 00:02:44,528
And I'm gonna lick you
all over your face
38
00:02:44,597 --> 00:02:46,724
with my dog-ball mouth.
39
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:49,969
Oh, shit.
Here she comes.
40
00:02:50,036 --> 00:02:51,094
Hi, baby!
41
00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:52,468
Hey, baby! Hi!
42
00:02:53,673 --> 00:02:55,163
No, no, Shiloh!
Wait! No, no, no, no!
43
00:02:55,575 --> 00:02:57,440
Shiloh! What did you do?
44
00:02:57,510 --> 00:02:59,000
I didn't see him!
What did you do?
45
00:02:59,078 --> 00:03:00,067
I'm so sorry.
46
00:03:01,214 --> 00:03:02,454
Oh, my God!
47
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:04,116
Shiloh, come on, breathe.
48
00:03:04,184 --> 00:03:05,208
Maybe he's just playing dead.
49
00:03:05,285 --> 00:03:07,253
He doesn't know
how to play dead.
50
00:03:07,353 --> 00:03:09,753
He knows how to shake hands.
He knows how to fetch.
51
00:03:09,856 --> 00:03:11,619
He knows how to roll over.
52
00:03:11,724 --> 00:03:12,924
He don't know how to play dead.
53
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,359
Come on, Shiloh, breathe.
54
00:03:14,427 --> 00:03:16,452
One, two, three.
Breathe.
55
00:03:16,563 --> 00:03:18,463
Aww!
56
00:03:18,565 --> 00:03:20,285
Give me the jumper cables.
The jumper cables?
57
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:22,393
Give me
the goddamn jumper cables!
58
00:03:22,468 --> 00:03:23,799
Don't you die on me!
59
00:03:24,237 --> 00:03:26,330
Start the car!
60
00:03:26,406 --> 00:03:28,203
Clear! Go!
61
00:03:28,308 --> 00:03:29,605
Oh, shit!
62
00:03:33,479 --> 00:03:34,503
Meet me at the hospital!
63
00:03:37,183 --> 00:03:39,014
The hospital's that way!
64
00:03:39,085 --> 00:03:40,450
Don't go towards
the light, Shiloh!
65
00:03:43,690 --> 00:03:45,590
You're in
a better place now, buddy.
66
00:03:45,658 --> 00:03:47,455
I'm so, so sorry.
67
00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:49,752
It's okay, baby.
68
00:03:49,829 --> 00:03:52,593
It's... It's not your fault.
Yes, it is.
69
00:03:52,665 --> 00:03:55,429
You know, look...
Look on the bright side.
70
00:03:55,501 --> 00:03:57,401
I'm allergic to dogs.
71
00:03:57,470 --> 00:03:59,904
I know, but that's what
was so great about Shiloh.
72
00:04:01,241 --> 00:04:03,175
He was hypoallergenic.
73
00:04:04,310 --> 00:04:07,108
Shiloh!
74
00:04:19,626 --> 00:04:22,857
Oh, my God!
Look at all this shit.
75
00:04:22,962 --> 00:04:25,453
Okay, Malcolm,
this is the last box.
76
00:04:25,598 --> 00:04:28,362
What's with the camera?
77
00:04:28,434 --> 00:04:29,833
I'm documenting
our lives together.
78
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:30,960
Say hi.
79
00:04:31,037 --> 00:04:33,904
Hi! Okay. Mmm.
80
00:04:34,073 --> 00:04:35,597
That ass lookin' nice, baby.
81
00:04:35,675 --> 00:04:38,075
Hey, hey. Pan up, pan up.
I see that.
82
00:04:38,144 --> 00:04:39,736
Baby, you are officially
a hoarder.
83
00:04:39,812 --> 00:04:41,439
I swear to God, I'm gonna
open one of these boxes
84
00:04:41,514 --> 00:04:44,108
and find, like, a dead cat and
an old baloney sandwich in it.
85
00:04:44,183 --> 00:04:45,810
Ha, ha, ha.
Very funny.
86
00:04:45,985 --> 00:04:47,816
Oh, my God.
Do you need these?
87
00:04:47,887 --> 00:04:49,320
Yes! These are...
For what?
88
00:04:49,389 --> 00:04:51,118
These are good wedding shoes!
89
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:53,681
One to 10, what are you
feeling right now about that?
90
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:56,190
Um, 8.7.
91
00:04:56,362 --> 00:04:58,296
What do you feel about that?
Nine. Nine.
92
00:04:58,364 --> 00:04:59,422
That's a nine?
Yes.
93
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:01,467
No, wait! Come on. Come on.
What's this? Hold on.
94
00:05:01,534 --> 00:05:04,401
This is a box that my aunt
brought from Kenya.
95
00:05:05,872 --> 00:05:06,964
This is a nine, too.
96
00:05:07,040 --> 00:05:08,098
Oh, my God!
97
00:05:08,408 --> 00:05:09,397
Say it.
98
00:05:09,475 --> 00:05:11,966
Hi, my name is Kisha Davis,
and I'm a hoarder.
99
00:05:15,248 --> 00:05:16,647
There's shame.
100
00:05:18,351 --> 00:05:19,477
Oh, wow.
101
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,984
Are these your daddy's ashes?
102
00:05:22,255 --> 00:05:24,189
Yes, Malcolm.
They go where I go.
103
00:05:24,457 --> 00:05:27,017
So, we're gonna have his
ghost watching over us?
104
00:05:27,427 --> 00:05:28,553
That's comforting.
105
00:05:28,628 --> 00:05:32,064
Just put him in the other room.
He likes to watch TV.
106
00:05:32,131 --> 00:05:33,223
He's dead.
What's he gonna watch?
107
00:05:33,299 --> 00:05:34,789
American Horror Story?
108
00:05:36,269 --> 00:05:38,260
Okay, babe, these video
games, they have to go.
109
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,101
Wait. Leave my video games alone.
They're tacky.
110
00:05:40,173 --> 00:05:41,231
Give me my camera!
111
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:42,535
Kisha, stop playing.
You're gonna break it.
112
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:44,803
- I'm not gonna break it.
- Give me my camera!
113
00:05:50,817 --> 00:05:53,752
"Negra?" Did she
just call me a nigger?
114
00:05:53,820 --> 00:05:55,651
What? What?
115
00:05:55,755 --> 00:05:57,450
I will lambada your ass!
116
00:05:57,523 --> 00:05:58,956
English! English!
Speak English!
117
00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:00,219
Baby. Baby. Baby!
118
00:06:00,293 --> 00:06:01,614
You know she
don't like me, right?
119
00:06:02,095 --> 00:06:03,460
Oh, I know
what's going on here.
120
00:06:03,529 --> 00:06:04,791
Are you banging Rosa?
121
00:06:04,864 --> 00:06:07,145
You got some Schwarzenegger
stuff going on in here, right?
122
00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:08,827
Really?
Yeah, okay, yeah.
123
00:06:08,935 --> 00:06:10,334
She's pregnant with
my love child right now.
124
00:06:10,436 --> 00:06:13,236
Yeah, we're gonna have a nappy-haired
baby that speaks perfect Spanish.
125
00:06:13,506 --> 00:06:15,474
Come on. Think about it.
Okay.
126
00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:18,638
Mmm.
127
00:06:18,745 --> 00:06:20,406
Mmm.
128
00:06:20,546 --> 00:06:22,446
Hungry there, buddy?
Mm-hmm.
129
00:06:22,515 --> 00:06:24,435
You're over there eating
like the Cookie Monster.
130
00:06:26,018 --> 00:06:27,849
Can I just enjoy
my food, please?
131
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:29,979
Wow. Somebody's crabby.
132
00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:33,149
I'm sorry.
I'm just tired.
133
00:06:33,726 --> 00:06:37,127
I haven't been sleeping well.
I keep hearing these noises.
134
00:06:37,930 --> 00:06:39,056
Scary.
135
00:06:39,265 --> 00:06:41,961
Well, you don't have
to be afraid, okay?
136
00:06:42,068 --> 00:06:43,899
'Cause you're
living with me now.
137
00:06:43,970 --> 00:06:46,302
And nobody's gonna
hurt you on my watch.
138
00:06:46,406 --> 00:06:47,771
Okay?
Okay.
139
00:06:51,310 --> 00:06:53,141
Unless the nigger got a gun.
140
00:06:53,279 --> 00:06:54,871
Then you on your own.
141
00:06:57,917 --> 00:06:58,906
What?
142
00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:03,418
Hey, baby, what you doin?
143
00:07:03,489 --> 00:07:07,050
Well, it's time to put on something
a little more comfortable.
144
00:07:07,293 --> 00:07:09,193
Aha! That's what
I'm talkin' about!
145
00:07:10,363 --> 00:07:11,796
Fellas,
get out your pen and pads.
146
00:07:11,864 --> 00:07:14,628
We about to give you a sex tutorial.
Let's do this.
147
00:07:27,947 --> 00:07:30,177
Mmm. Oh.
148
00:07:30,383 --> 00:07:32,078
Yeah.
149
00:07:33,219 --> 00:07:34,948
Oh, you got the beat!
150
00:07:35,054 --> 00:07:36,419
Oh! Stop.
151
00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:38,116
Stop. Not yet. Not... Ahh!
152
00:07:40,993 --> 00:07:42,858
You gonna bring
a friend there, huh?
153
00:07:42,995 --> 00:07:44,428
Ah. Ah.
154
00:07:44,630 --> 00:07:46,757
Uh-huh? Watch that.
Uh-huh.
155
00:07:46,833 --> 00:07:49,097
Now you get some, yeah.
Watch. Watch.
156
00:07:49,368 --> 00:07:50,357
Ah, taste that.
157
00:07:50,436 --> 00:07:52,529
Look at Daddy. Uh-huh.
158
00:07:54,807 --> 00:07:56,866
Two dogs, one duck.
159
00:07:56,943 --> 00:07:58,137
Get it nasty.
You nasty.
160
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:02,745
Go home.
161
00:08:02,815 --> 00:08:05,045
I want you by myself. Yeah.
162
00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:07,417
Shh.
163
00:08:07,787 --> 00:08:09,550
Oh. Oh, shit!
That's still hot!
164
00:08:09,622 --> 00:08:12,090
Shut up. Take it.
You just take it.
165
00:08:15,561 --> 00:08:16,994
Take it, take it, take it.
166
00:08:17,063 --> 00:08:18,894
Baby!
Yeah, baby?
167
00:08:18,965 --> 00:08:23,197
I cannot believe this is our
first night living together!
168
00:08:23,302 --> 00:08:25,202
Yeah. It's nice, huh?
Uh-huh.
169
00:08:25,304 --> 00:08:27,135
I can't wait to
lie next to you.
170
00:08:27,206 --> 00:08:29,367
Oh, me, too.
Gotta go, baby.
171
00:08:29,475 --> 00:08:30,965
It was fun.
172
00:08:34,447 --> 00:08:35,880
Whoo!
173
00:08:36,048 --> 00:08:37,174
Get in.
174
00:08:37,583 --> 00:08:38,641
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
175
00:08:38,718 --> 00:08:39,742
Here I come!
176
00:08:39,819 --> 00:08:40,877
Okay, honey.
177
00:08:45,992 --> 00:08:48,483
Baby, you are
the sexiest woman...
178
00:08:48,561 --> 00:08:50,688
What the hell?
179
00:08:50,796 --> 00:08:54,926
You know, Malcolm, not everybody goes
to bed looking like a supermodel.
180
00:08:55,001 --> 00:08:56,901
Apparently not.
You know?
181
00:08:57,003 --> 00:08:58,483
Besides, what is wrong
with my outfit?
182
00:08:58,538 --> 00:09:00,802
Nothin', if you lived in a
box underneath the freeway.
183
00:09:00,873 --> 00:09:01,862
What?
184
00:09:02,174 --> 00:09:04,108
Come on! Hold the
sign up, please?
185
00:09:06,512 --> 00:09:07,638
Can I go to bed?
186
00:09:07,713 --> 00:09:09,044
No, you gotta
get the joke first!
187
00:09:09,148 --> 00:09:10,172
Come on.
188
00:09:10,249 --> 00:09:11,307
All right.
Okay, fine.
189
00:09:11,384 --> 00:09:12,476
Okay. I'm ready.
190
00:09:12,552 --> 00:09:14,110
All right. Go ahead.
191
00:09:14,186 --> 00:09:16,211
Spare change?
192
00:09:16,289 --> 00:09:17,950
You stupid!
193
00:09:32,171 --> 00:09:34,799
I love you.
Good night.
194
00:09:54,860 --> 00:09:55,986
God!
195
00:10:01,601 --> 00:10:03,865
How could someone
so cute be so stink?
196
00:10:03,936 --> 00:10:06,097
Oh, Jesus Christ!
197
00:10:09,308 --> 00:10:12,436
Oh, really?
Oh, God!
198
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,607
What crawled up
your ass and died?
199
00:10:15,715 --> 00:10:16,739
Shit!
200
00:10:16,916 --> 00:10:18,508
Really?
201
00:10:18,584 --> 00:10:20,313
You ain't allowed to move
in here and do this shit.
202
00:10:20,386 --> 00:10:21,375
Mm-mmm.
203
00:10:21,487 --> 00:10:22,977
Mm-mmm.
204
00:10:23,055 --> 00:10:24,682
Ugh!
205
00:10:24,790 --> 00:10:27,020
Aah!
206
00:10:28,461 --> 00:10:30,224
It's alive! What?
207
00:10:33,132 --> 00:10:35,396
Oh! Oh! Oh, fuck!
208
00:10:35,468 --> 00:10:36,901
Oh!
209
00:10:37,003 --> 00:10:38,937
I heard that.
210
00:10:42,642 --> 00:10:45,509
So, we didn't
have sex last night.
211
00:10:45,578 --> 00:10:49,173
Kisha didn't cook,
and she killed my dog.
212
00:10:49,248 --> 00:10:51,307
But other than that,
213
00:10:51,384 --> 00:10:54,080
I guess this moving-in thing
is gonna be pretty cool.
214
00:10:55,921 --> 00:10:58,481
Malcolm! Malcolm!
215
00:10:58,858 --> 00:11:00,223
What's up?
216
00:11:00,292 --> 00:11:03,056
My keys are on the floor.
217
00:11:03,129 --> 00:11:04,187
Okay.
218
00:11:04,296 --> 00:11:05,661
Malcolm.
What?
219
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:07,699
Something weird
is going on here.
220
00:11:07,800 --> 00:11:09,267
If you mean something weird
221
00:11:09,335 --> 00:11:11,136
Like you farting in your
sleep, yes, there is.
222
00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,865
No, no.
223
00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:14,097
I think we have a ghost.
224
00:11:14,173 --> 00:11:15,197
A ghost?
225
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:17,742
Yeah, okay. No, you have
a ghost in your ass.
226
00:11:18,044 --> 00:11:19,204
Okay. Come on, really?
227
00:11:19,278 --> 00:11:22,304
I wanna bring a psychic
to tell us what's going on.
228
00:11:22,381 --> 00:11:23,439
A psychic?
229
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:24,956
Ah, come on, Kish.
That's ridiculous.
230
00:11:25,017 --> 00:11:26,814
Look, I'll tell you
what's going on, okay?
231
00:11:26,886 --> 00:11:28,444
Some neighborhood kid
came in here,
232
00:11:28,521 --> 00:11:30,284
stole something out of your
purse, and then he left...
233
00:11:30,356 --> 00:11:33,291
No. See, if anyone
is stealing anything,
234
00:11:33,359 --> 00:11:35,759
it is you-know-who, okay?
235
00:11:37,596 --> 00:11:39,928
Hey, girl!
236
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,160
Okay, we have no idea what she's
doing when we're not here.
237
00:11:43,636 --> 00:11:45,866
Why is she
always wearing gloves?
238
00:11:45,938 --> 00:11:47,405
Okay, fine.
I'll take care of it.
239
00:11:47,473 --> 00:11:48,462
Guilty.
240
00:11:50,943 --> 00:11:51,967
Hey, I'm Dan the Security Man.
241
00:11:52,078 --> 00:11:53,306
Hey, how you doin?
Nice to meet you.
242
00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,740
Oh, whoa! Hey, hey, hey!
What's up?
243
00:11:54,780 --> 00:11:56,577
Hey, I'm sorry, buddy.
I didn't see you back there.
244
00:11:56,649 --> 00:11:58,776
That's my associate, Bob.
Actually, he's my brother.
245
00:11:58,851 --> 00:12:00,045
He's a simple...
246
00:12:00,119 --> 00:12:01,279
I'm his brother, too.
247
00:12:01,353 --> 00:12:03,480
He used to play in the dryer.
We turned it on once.
248
00:12:05,624 --> 00:12:06,648
Whoa, whoa!
249
00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:07,920
Hey, yo, you better back up!
250
00:12:07,993 --> 00:12:08,982
What's the problem?
251
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,528
We're here to install cameras.
252
00:12:10,596 --> 00:12:12,188
Yeah. Not to be
filmed on camera.
253
00:12:12,264 --> 00:12:13,526
'Cause I'm doing
my own reality show.
254
00:12:13,599 --> 00:12:14,839
Well, I'm not signing anything.
255
00:12:14,934 --> 00:12:16,697
And I can't write.
He can't write.
256
00:12:16,802 --> 00:12:18,133
Blur this out.
257
00:12:18,871 --> 00:12:20,304
Mosaic.
Okay.
258
00:12:20,606 --> 00:12:21,868
What is he doing?
259
00:12:22,074 --> 00:12:23,632
Is the owner home?
260
00:12:23,909 --> 00:12:25,308
You're talking to him.
261
00:12:25,377 --> 00:12:27,311
Yeah, right!
262
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:28,403
Wow.
263
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,745
Oh. Wow. Okay.
264
00:12:31,183 --> 00:12:34,016
All right. Now, that camera
covers your entire backyard.
265
00:12:34,120 --> 00:12:35,280
It's cool.
266
00:12:35,454 --> 00:12:37,513
Let's say you and the missus are
having a pool party, right?
267
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:39,523
You know, you're grilling up
some fried chicken,
268
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:42,459
probably some ribs.
269
00:12:42,795 --> 00:12:44,820
Hot wings, some pig knuckle,
270
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:46,228
strimps.
271
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,532
You know,
maybe some corn bread.
272
00:12:49,468 --> 00:12:52,460
I'd say watermelon, but that
might be racist, right?
273
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,436
Corn bread was pretty close.
274
00:12:54,540 --> 00:12:57,304
Not really. Country
folks eat corn bread.
275
00:12:57,977 --> 00:12:59,069
Can I say it?
276
00:12:59,578 --> 00:13:01,068
You talking about the "N" word?
Yeah.
277
00:13:01,147 --> 00:13:02,478
No. It's not appropriate.
278
00:13:02,548 --> 00:13:03,572
I see.
279
00:13:03,849 --> 00:13:05,043
Are you...
Is he serious?
280
00:13:05,151 --> 00:13:07,016
You can call me a cracker.
281
00:13:08,220 --> 00:13:09,420
I don't want to.
I just want...
282
00:13:09,488 --> 00:13:10,648
Let me say it.
283
00:13:11,824 --> 00:13:15,225
If you say it, I'm going to
punch you in your face.
284
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:19,689
Anyway...
Wow.
285
00:13:19,765 --> 00:13:21,528
Maybe later things
get a little freaky.
286
00:13:21,600 --> 00:13:25,092
You and the old lady in the
'cuzzi, buck naked, right?
287
00:13:25,171 --> 00:13:27,298
Little Black Mamba's
ready to strike.
288
00:13:27,406 --> 00:13:29,874
That camera will
catch all of it.
289
00:13:29,942 --> 00:13:31,876
Nice! So, all you gotta
do, go upstairs,
290
00:13:31,944 --> 00:13:35,573
clickity-clack on the computer,
beat off to the highlights.
291
00:13:35,648 --> 00:13:37,172
Yeah.
292
00:13:37,283 --> 00:13:38,978
Holler!
293
00:13:39,518 --> 00:13:40,985
Holler!
294
00:13:42,521 --> 00:13:43,886
Do it.
No.
295
00:13:43,956 --> 00:13:45,423
Holler!
296
00:13:45,491 --> 00:13:47,425
Are you really gonna
make me do this here?
297
00:13:47,493 --> 00:13:48,482
Camera Guys.
298
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:49,653
Holler!
299
00:13:50,496 --> 00:13:52,225
Got you all tied in.
Mm-hmm.
300
00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:55,630
Uh, just hit the space bar, the
mouse, you flash from the kitchen.
301
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:56,725
Mm-hmm?
302
00:13:56,802 --> 00:13:57,791
Entryway.
303
00:13:57,870 --> 00:13:59,565
Backyard.
Living room.
304
00:13:59,872 --> 00:14:01,499
I even tied in the webcam.
Nice.
305
00:14:01,607 --> 00:14:03,370
Yeah. Oh, I like that.
That's cool.
306
00:14:03,676 --> 00:14:04,938
Here's something
you wanna think about.
307
00:14:05,010 --> 00:14:07,478
You can remote access these
things from wherever you are.
308
00:14:07,546 --> 00:14:10,447
I can set that up if you want.
Just give me your pass code.
309
00:14:10,516 --> 00:14:12,450
No. Not gonna happen.
310
00:14:12,518 --> 00:14:13,985
Good choice.
Nice try.
311
00:14:14,053 --> 00:14:15,782
But you could set that up
if you want to.
312
00:14:15,855 --> 00:14:17,254
You're out of town
on a business trip,
313
00:14:17,323 --> 00:14:18,551
you might wanna
check up on the missus,
314
00:14:18,657 --> 00:14:19,851
make sure she's safe.
315
00:14:19,925 --> 00:14:21,187
Right.
316
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:22,851
Or whatever she's doing!
Yeah.
317
00:14:22,928 --> 00:14:24,828
You know,
girls, they like to have
318
00:14:24,897 --> 00:14:27,661
a girls' time when
you're out of town.
319
00:14:27,733 --> 00:14:28,859
And why wouldn't they,
you know?
320
00:14:28,968 --> 00:14:30,526
You don't expect things like...
321
00:14:31,670 --> 00:14:34,867
You know, she's spread eagle on
the floor, banging the mailman.
322
00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:36,635
"Special delivery!"
323
00:14:36,709 --> 00:14:38,040
Not on our bed!
324
00:14:39,178 --> 00:14:40,702
You dirty bird!
325
00:14:40,813 --> 00:14:42,508
In front of the dog!
Is he serious?
326
00:14:42,581 --> 00:14:44,742
Oh, the dog's so upset!
327
00:14:45,317 --> 00:14:46,784
I mean, you know,
328
00:14:46,852 --> 00:14:49,650
you're at a security
convention in Albuquerque
329
00:14:49,722 --> 00:14:52,350
screaming at the top of
your lungs at a Quality Inn!
330
00:14:52,424 --> 00:14:54,016
I remember Albuquerque.
331
00:14:54,093 --> 00:14:56,926
You can't scratch your way
through the camera!
332
00:14:57,529 --> 00:14:59,827
Kinda reminds me,
I gotta mail out some bills
333
00:14:59,899 --> 00:15:01,020
before the end of the month.
334
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:03,293
Uh, it's okay, man.
It's okay.
335
00:15:03,369 --> 00:15:05,667
Bobby, you better not
be recording.
336
00:15:05,871 --> 00:15:07,391
Uh, Bobby? Yeah, I
got the whole thing.
337
00:15:07,439 --> 00:15:08,679
Don't do this shit in my house.
338
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,575
It's okay. Okay.
All right. I understand.
339
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:13,669
Okay.
340
00:15:14,780 --> 00:15:17,021
Why are you installing all
these security cameras anyway?
341
00:15:17,249 --> 00:15:18,409
Uh, we may have a burglar.
342
00:15:18,484 --> 00:15:19,542
Or a ghost.
343
00:15:19,618 --> 00:15:20,778
A burglar.
Ghost.
344
00:15:20,853 --> 00:15:21,979
Burglar.
Ghost!
345
00:15:22,054 --> 00:15:24,614
Well, it just so happens I have
my own ghost hunter reality show.
346
00:15:24,623 --> 00:15:25,647
Do you wanna know
what it's called?
347
00:15:25,724 --> 00:15:27,521
I got one, too.
348
00:15:27,593 --> 00:15:29,322
Wild guess, American Ghost?
349
00:15:29,428 --> 00:15:30,986
Wrong!
Ghost Guys.
350
00:15:31,096 --> 00:15:32,120
Oh!
351
00:15:32,197 --> 00:15:33,960
It is trademarked, so don't
get any funny ideas.
352
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,864
I definitely won't.
All right. See ya.
353
00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:38,060
Yeah! You know they're
shooting porn in there.
354
00:15:38,170 --> 00:15:40,001
Really?
No way he owns it.
355
00:15:42,708 --> 00:15:44,369
Malcolm, what is that?
356
00:15:45,044 --> 00:15:46,841
Well, I paid those
camera guys all this money
357
00:15:46,912 --> 00:15:49,574
and they left a big-ass
blind spot inside the hallway.
358
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:54,446
So you decided to break my fan and
rig up this ridiculous camera?
359
00:15:54,787 --> 00:15:55,879
Yep.
360
00:15:56,722 --> 00:15:58,485
Call me "Nigyver."
361
00:15:58,557 --> 00:15:59,615
Wow.
362
00:16:02,461 --> 00:16:04,588
Cool. All right, baby. Come on.
363
00:16:04,697 --> 00:16:06,426
All right.
All right.
364
00:16:06,699 --> 00:16:08,758
- I'm so hungry.
- Me, too. Starving.
365
00:16:08,867 --> 00:16:10,630
Okay, Rosa.
We're leaving.
366
00:16:10,736 --> 00:16:12,601
Buenas tardes, senores.
Okay.
367
00:16:26,652 --> 00:16:28,677
It's crazy, right?
368
00:16:30,055 --> 00:16:32,888
These stupid motherfuckers
don't think I speak English!
369
00:16:32,958 --> 00:16:34,892
Hmm.
370
00:16:34,960 --> 00:16:37,428
Yo, I got a nice pool.
You want to come on down?
371
00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:39,290
Yeah, we got a Jacuzzi.
372
00:16:48,307 --> 00:16:50,104
Que pasa?
373
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:55,071
Ay, Dios mio!
374
00:17:03,122 --> 00:17:05,181
Whoo! ¡Dios mio!
375
00:17:05,290 --> 00:17:07,952
Whoo!
376
00:17:10,763 --> 00:17:12,287
Hey, Rosa. We're back.
377
00:17:12,965 --> 00:17:14,455
Hola!
378
00:17:17,036 --> 00:17:20,199
Ah!
379
00:17:20,305 --> 00:17:22,102
Si!
Yo tambien.
380
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:23,698
I don't know what you saying.
381
00:17:23,809 --> 00:17:25,299
Mm-hmm!
382
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:29,781
- Baby!
- What?
383
00:17:29,848 --> 00:17:31,338
Look at how she's swimming.
384
00:17:31,450 --> 00:17:33,145
Hey, Steve. Steve, look.
Check this out.
385
00:17:33,218 --> 00:17:34,242
Black girl don't like
getting her hair wet.
386
00:17:34,653 --> 00:17:37,451
Hey, hey, hey!
Malcolm, cut that shit out!
387
00:17:37,556 --> 00:17:39,996
Just
got my hair did. You know that.
388
00:17:40,159 --> 00:17:41,148
Don't play with me.
389
00:17:41,226 --> 00:17:42,386
You're looking
good over there, baby.
390
00:17:42,461 --> 00:17:43,951
Hey, show us your tits.
What?
391
00:17:44,029 --> 00:17:45,155
Show us your tits!
392
00:17:45,631 --> 00:17:47,724
Whoa, whoa.
No, no, no, no, no!
393
00:17:47,800 --> 00:17:49,131
I knew she would do it.
394
00:17:51,136 --> 00:17:52,160
You like that?
395
00:17:52,237 --> 00:17:53,499
No, no. That was awkward.
396
00:17:53,572 --> 00:17:54,971
Oh, yeah? But did you
like it a little bit?
397
00:17:55,040 --> 00:17:56,302
They're cockeyed.
398
00:17:56,375 --> 00:17:58,536
Yeah, I know. One's bigger
than the other one.
399
00:17:58,644 --> 00:17:59,924
That way you can
have a favorite.
400
00:17:59,978 --> 00:18:01,502
Baby?
401
00:18:01,580 --> 00:18:04,811
No!
Whoo!
402
00:18:04,883 --> 00:18:06,851
Your head's gonna get pregnant!
403
00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,181
Let's do reverse.
404
00:18:13,759 --> 00:18:16,227
Wow, man, I am loving
this camera of yours.
405
00:18:16,328 --> 00:18:17,352
This is really cool.
406
00:18:17,429 --> 00:18:18,691
Thanks, man.
Oh, boy.
407
00:18:18,764 --> 00:18:21,562
I bet you're shooting all kinds of
extracurricular activities with this camera.
408
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:22,691
Actually, I'm not.
409
00:18:22,768 --> 00:18:23,757
You aren't?
410
00:18:23,869 --> 00:18:25,029
None.
You're not?
411
00:18:25,104 --> 00:18:27,038
You know, ever since
Kisha moved in,
412
00:18:27,106 --> 00:18:28,664
I haven't seen
no parts of the vagina.
413
00:18:29,108 --> 00:18:30,769
No!
It's like she moved in,
414
00:18:30,843 --> 00:18:32,435
and her vagina
moved out the same day.
415
00:18:32,511 --> 00:18:33,944
You gotta be kidding me!
Yeah.
416
00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,445
That makes me angry.
417
00:18:35,514 --> 00:18:36,845
Not as angry as
it makes my penis.
418
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,110
Well, I am angry
for your penis.
419
00:18:39,184 --> 00:18:40,515
Mr. Happy is
not so happy.
420
00:18:40,619 --> 00:18:42,018
Oh, that's infuriating.
421
00:18:42,087 --> 00:18:43,247
Yeah, man.
Yeah, man.
422
00:18:43,322 --> 00:18:44,880
It makes me very upset
to hear that.
423
00:18:44,957 --> 00:18:46,185
But you know, there is
something you can do
424
00:18:46,291 --> 00:18:47,451
to spice it up if you want to.
425
00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:48,448
Really?
Oh, yeah.
426
00:18:48,527 --> 00:18:49,619
What?
427
00:18:49,695 --> 00:18:51,219
Well, you know how, like,
428
00:18:51,330 --> 00:18:53,025
if you get tired
of driving your car,
429
00:18:53,132 --> 00:18:54,565
you might
test-drive a new car?
430
00:18:54,633 --> 00:18:55,622
Mm-hmm.
431
00:18:55,734 --> 00:18:57,258
Maybe you would
even let somebody else
432
00:18:57,336 --> 00:18:59,736
drive your car for a
little while, you know?
433
00:18:59,838 --> 00:19:02,830
Get a whole new appreciation of
your vehicle when you do that.
434
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,303
Are you talking about
swapping girlfriends?
435
00:19:06,378 --> 00:19:08,744
- What? No!
- Excuse me?
436
00:19:08,847 --> 00:19:10,007
Oh, wow!
437
00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,262
I don't know where you were
goin' with that! Oh, wow!
438
00:19:12,451 --> 00:19:13,543
I was talking about cars!
439
00:19:13,619 --> 00:19:14,677
My bad.
440
00:19:15,487 --> 00:19:16,852
You would never do it?
441
00:19:16,922 --> 00:19:18,822
I would absolutely never do it.
442
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:20,358
Me neither.
Me neither.
443
00:19:20,492 --> 00:19:23,427
What kind of pervert does that?
444
00:19:23,529 --> 00:19:24,621
That's what you
would have to be.
445
00:19:24,696 --> 00:19:26,254
It takes a pervert
to swap girlfriends.
446
00:19:26,365 --> 00:19:28,560
You never have done it,
and you never would, huh?
447
00:19:28,634 --> 00:19:29,658
No, Steve.
448
00:19:29,735 --> 00:19:32,465
Even if you got drunk enough
or something like that?
449
00:19:32,538 --> 00:19:34,369
Like, you might have a few
too many drinks and say,
450
00:19:34,439 --> 00:19:35,639
"Why not?
Let's give it a try,"
451
00:19:35,641 --> 00:19:38,132
if there was a couple
that was into it.
452
00:19:38,243 --> 00:19:39,574
No.
No. Yeah, me neither.
453
00:19:39,645 --> 00:19:40,634
That's how I feel.
454
00:19:40,746 --> 00:19:43,078
But even, like, maybe
if you got a little high,
455
00:19:43,148 --> 00:19:44,945
maybe on a Saturday night
or something like that,
456
00:19:45,017 --> 00:19:46,348
and you were like...
457
00:19:46,418 --> 00:19:47,510
Even then.
458
00:19:47,586 --> 00:19:50,111
Yeah. Like, even if
this couple was, like,
459
00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:52,180
up for anything
and raring to go,
460
00:19:52,257 --> 00:19:56,284
and she was hot to trot,
like, a hot, hot lady.
461
00:19:56,361 --> 00:19:58,591
It wouldn't matter.
You wouldn't do it, right?
462
00:19:58,664 --> 00:20:00,962
Nigger, no.
463
00:20:01,033 --> 00:20:03,627
Same here.
We're in agreement.
464
00:20:03,702 --> 00:20:06,364
It's crazy to swap
girlfriends like that.
465
00:20:06,471 --> 00:20:09,463
I am with you 100%.
466
00:20:10,275 --> 00:20:12,072
Steve, want a beer?
467
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:13,270
Thank you very much.
468
00:20:13,345 --> 00:20:16,007
Hey, babe, did you
tell Steve we have a ghost?
469
00:20:16,114 --> 00:20:17,138
We don't have a ghost.
A ghost?
470
00:20:17,216 --> 00:20:18,774
Yeah.
Awesome.
471
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:19,942
I think it'd be
cool to have a ghost.
472
00:20:20,018 --> 00:20:21,007
We don't have a ghost.
473
00:20:21,119 --> 00:20:22,279
No, Jenny, it's not cool.
474
00:20:22,354 --> 00:20:23,446
We don't have a ghost.
475
00:20:23,522 --> 00:20:25,547
You thought it
was cool in college.
476
00:20:25,657 --> 00:20:27,284
We did a seance and everything!
477
00:20:27,359 --> 00:20:29,224
A seance?
Oh, yeah. That's right.
478
00:20:29,328 --> 00:20:30,317
You did a seance?
479
00:20:30,395 --> 00:20:31,885
Yes.
Honey, it's college.
480
00:20:31,997 --> 00:20:33,118
You do a lot of silly stuff.
481
00:20:33,165 --> 00:20:34,189
Yeah.
482
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:36,290
Like that time we
got drunk and made out.
483
00:20:36,368 --> 00:20:38,461
Oh, it's all hazy.
484
00:20:38,537 --> 00:20:39,731
You know, college,
it's like a big fog.
485
00:20:39,838 --> 00:20:41,478
We're gonna talk
about these college days.
486
00:20:41,506 --> 00:20:42,495
Yeah, yeah.
487
00:20:42,574 --> 00:20:44,701
A hazy, sexy fog,
it sounds like.
488
00:20:44,810 --> 00:20:47,335
Wouldn't it be great if we all
spent the night? Together?
489
00:20:47,412 --> 00:20:48,470
Well, that's an
interesting idea.
490
00:20:48,547 --> 00:20:49,741
What do you think
of that, Malcolm?
491
00:20:49,848 --> 00:20:51,543
- A naked sleepover?
- No.
492
00:20:51,650 --> 00:20:52,878
No?
It's weird.
493
00:20:52,985 --> 00:20:54,350
Yeah, but it's definitely
gonna be weird.
494
00:20:54,419 --> 00:20:56,887
But are you saying
weird good or weird bad?
495
00:20:56,989 --> 00:20:58,149
Weird bad, Steve.
496
00:20:58,223 --> 00:20:59,349
Okay.
497
00:21:00,025 --> 00:21:01,549
All right, you guys.
It's been real.
498
00:21:01,660 --> 00:21:04,527
Listen, I know a great
psychic if you need one.
499
00:21:04,596 --> 00:21:05,620
Okay.
500
00:21:05,697 --> 00:21:06,891
He told me I'd be surrounded
501
00:21:06,999 --> 00:21:10,594
by big, black spirits
in my near future.
502
00:21:11,737 --> 00:21:12,863
Vaginas crossed.
503
00:21:12,938 --> 00:21:15,372
Yeah, okay.
Right? Goodbye!
504
00:21:15,974 --> 00:21:17,168
Well.
505
00:21:17,242 --> 00:21:19,403
Listen, before we go, I just wanna
talk to you about something,
506
00:21:19,511 --> 00:21:20,910
'cause Jenny's got
a birthday coming up.
507
00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,002
Okay.
508
00:21:22,080 --> 00:21:23,775
I wanna do something real
special for her, you know.
509
00:21:23,882 --> 00:21:26,043
I was thinking maybe you could
invite a couple of guys over,
510
00:21:26,118 --> 00:21:27,710
Like your cousin Ray-Ray,
maybe?
511
00:21:27,786 --> 00:21:28,878
And some of
those big, black guys
512
00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,444
that he hangs out with,
you know?
513
00:21:30,555 --> 00:21:32,887
Jamal, and Hakim,
and Anforny, you know?
514
00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:35,927
Just the six of us, right?
We'll have some fun.
515
00:21:36,028 --> 00:21:38,019
We'll double stuff
the Oreo a little bit, huh?
516
00:21:38,397 --> 00:21:39,796
Dirty up the white snow?
517
00:21:39,898 --> 00:21:41,365
Black poles, white holes.
518
00:21:41,433 --> 00:21:44,266
You know, maybe all pile on the
little white rabbit, right, you know?
519
00:21:44,369 --> 00:21:46,599
Are you talking
about a mandingo party?
520
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:48,468
What? A what?
521
00:21:48,573 --> 00:21:50,302
Excuse me!
522
00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:53,572
I mean, I'm really, uh, not into that.
But if you're into that...
523
00:21:53,645 --> 00:21:54,771
Um, I'm...
524
00:21:54,880 --> 00:21:56,438
Well, we might be able
to work something out
525
00:21:56,548 --> 00:21:57,537
if that's what you're into.
526
00:21:57,616 --> 00:21:59,277
Hey, buddy, I mean...
Okay, bye, Steve.
527
00:21:59,484 --> 00:22:00,508
Oh!
528
00:22:00,585 --> 00:22:02,177
Oh, wow.
529
00:22:02,387 --> 00:22:03,411
That's beautiful.
Okay, Jenny.
530
00:22:03,488 --> 00:22:04,512
All right. Goodbye.
531
00:22:04,589 --> 00:22:05,988
Okay, honey, come on.
Come on, honey, come in.
532
00:22:06,091 --> 00:22:07,820
You're lucky.
533
00:22:07,926 --> 00:22:09,257
She is luckier.
534
00:22:09,328 --> 00:22:10,989
Bye, guys. Bye!
All right.
535
00:22:11,530 --> 00:22:13,964
Okay. All right.
536
00:22:14,966 --> 00:22:16,991
I think Jenny and
Steve are swingers.
537
00:22:17,102 --> 00:22:18,592
You think? Wow.
538
00:22:18,670 --> 00:22:20,262
This looks like
a ghetto Rite Aid.
539
00:22:20,339 --> 00:22:21,567
Wrong Aid.
540
00:22:21,640 --> 00:22:23,904
Oh, shit!
Did somebody shave a yeti?
541
00:22:23,975 --> 00:22:25,840
Very funny.
I shaved my legs.
542
00:22:25,911 --> 00:22:27,572
With what, a weed whacker?
543
00:22:27,646 --> 00:22:30,080
Wow. That's like
Apollo Creed's chest hairs.
544
00:22:30,148 --> 00:22:31,172
That is crazy.
545
00:22:31,783 --> 00:22:34,047
Oh! Hey!
Malcolm, come on!
546
00:22:34,119 --> 00:22:36,485
Dude, turn that off.
Get out of here.
547
00:22:36,588 --> 00:22:38,078
You got to close this.
Stop it!
548
00:22:38,156 --> 00:22:39,680
I'm claustrophobic, okay?
549
00:22:39,791 --> 00:22:41,315
Yeah? Well,
I'm ass-trophobic.
550
00:22:41,426 --> 00:22:42,916
You know what, Malcolm?
What?
551
00:22:42,994 --> 00:22:45,519
Love it or leave it, okay?
Here. Here.
552
00:22:45,697 --> 00:22:47,324
Take it, okay?
553
00:22:47,499 --> 00:22:48,898
It's oak-y.
554
00:22:48,967 --> 00:22:51,094
It's... It's full-bodied.
555
00:22:51,937 --> 00:22:52,961
I believe it's open.
556
00:22:53,038 --> 00:22:54,130
Oh, that's...
That's nasty!
557
00:22:54,206 --> 00:22:55,673
Mmm. The aroma.
558
00:22:55,774 --> 00:22:56,866
The nastiest thing ever.
559
00:22:56,942 --> 00:22:58,102
No, Malcolm! Malcolm!
560
00:22:58,176 --> 00:22:59,643
Hey! No!
561
00:22:59,711 --> 00:23:01,372
Move your little nasty foot.
Stop it!
562
00:23:01,546 --> 00:23:03,411
Ow! Ow! Malcolm!
563
00:23:19,164 --> 00:23:21,655
Uh, Malcolm. Malcolm?
Hmm?
564
00:23:21,733 --> 00:23:23,166
The camera isn't off.
565
00:23:23,235 --> 00:23:25,328
Yeah, the camera's off.
What are you talkin' about?
566
00:23:25,404 --> 00:23:26,530
The light is on.
567
00:23:26,605 --> 00:23:27,697
That's the standby light.
568
00:23:27,806 --> 00:23:29,671
That's the record light.
569
00:23:29,741 --> 00:23:31,902
I don't want to be
like those stupid girls.
570
00:23:31,977 --> 00:23:34,309
Kim Kardashian with a sex tape.
571
00:23:34,379 --> 00:23:37,075
First of all, Kim Kardashian's
worth $150 million.
572
00:23:37,149 --> 00:23:39,509
Think about it, Kisha. You could
have your own reality show.
573
00:23:39,551 --> 00:23:42,213
You could have your own clothing
line, your own perfume.
574
00:23:42,320 --> 00:23:44,880
"Stank," by Kisha.
575
00:23:44,990 --> 00:23:46,150
No.
576
00:23:46,224 --> 00:23:48,658
Your window of opportunity
is closing quickly.
577
00:23:48,727 --> 00:23:49,921
Turn it off.
578
00:23:49,995 --> 00:23:51,121
Oh, God, you are a hater.
579
00:23:51,196 --> 00:23:52,561
I'm not.
580
00:23:57,235 --> 00:24:00,398
Malcolm. You ain't slick.
That camera's still on.
581
00:24:00,505 --> 00:24:02,530
- What?
- "What?"
582
00:24:02,707 --> 00:24:04,106
That's cheap.
583
00:24:07,145 --> 00:24:09,739
Whoo! Whoo!
584
00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:11,872
Don't touch it.
585
00:24:11,950 --> 00:24:13,508
Don't touch it.
That was crazy.
586
00:24:13,585 --> 00:24:14,711
Oh, I got a cramp.
587
00:24:14,786 --> 00:24:17,220
I told you we should
have recorded that.
588
00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:19,223
I don't think they
make 30-second tapes.
589
00:24:19,291 --> 00:24:23,421
Oh, come on. That was at least
two minutes, 15, 16 seconds.
590
00:24:23,528 --> 00:24:25,018
Whoo! That was great.
591
00:24:25,096 --> 00:24:26,859
Malcolm, you know
we have to go again, right?
592
00:24:26,932 --> 00:24:30,231
I need a halftime.
You gotta talk to the coach.
593
00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:31,599
Get some new plays.
594
00:24:34,940 --> 00:24:36,908
Wake up.
Okay, okay.
595
00:24:36,975 --> 00:24:37,999
Come on now.
596
00:24:38,076 --> 00:24:39,202
Okay, okay.
597
00:24:39,277 --> 00:24:40,904
Woody's sore.
Mmm.
598
00:24:43,915 --> 00:24:44,973
Yeah.
599
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:48,142
Good morning, honey.
600
00:24:48,253 --> 00:24:49,982
Hi, baby.
Mwah.
601
00:24:51,189 --> 00:24:53,749
Malcolm, I told you
to turn the camera off!
602
00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:56,784
I know. I'm shit.
603
00:24:56,895 --> 00:24:59,420
But, baby, I was tearin'
it up last night.
604
00:24:59,498 --> 00:25:00,698
Oh, please.
You were all right.
605
00:25:00,832 --> 00:25:02,060
Baby, check this move.
Look at that.
606
00:25:02,133 --> 00:25:03,653
Malcolm, I need you
to erase this tape.
607
00:25:03,735 --> 00:25:05,566
I don't wanna end
up on the Internet.
608
00:25:05,637 --> 00:25:06,899
Whoa, whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa.
609
00:25:06,972 --> 00:25:08,269
Rewind the video.
610
00:25:08,340 --> 00:25:09,602
Okay.
611
00:25:10,175 --> 00:25:11,608
Did you see that?
Uh-huh.
612
00:25:11,676 --> 00:25:12,997
See, I call that move
the Tornado.
613
00:25:13,144 --> 00:25:14,406
No, stupid!
614
00:25:14,479 --> 00:25:17,642
Look! The door, it moved.
You see?
615
00:25:17,749 --> 00:25:19,046
Oh, wow.
616
00:25:19,551 --> 00:25:22,384
Well, there is a rational
explanation for all that.
617
00:25:22,454 --> 00:25:24,649
See, what happens is,
with the Tornado, right,
618
00:25:24,756 --> 00:25:27,452
the vortex in
which I move my hips,
619
00:25:27,526 --> 00:25:29,084
especially with
a downward motion,
620
00:25:29,160 --> 00:25:30,923
it creates that vortex.
621
00:25:30,996 --> 00:25:32,293
I'm surprised the windows
didn't blow open.
622
00:25:32,364 --> 00:25:34,195
You are stupid.
Sometimes it does that.
623
00:25:34,332 --> 00:25:37,062
See, I'm working on a whole natural
disaster theme for me and you.
624
00:25:37,469 --> 00:25:39,300
We gonna start with
the Mudslide tonight.
625
00:25:39,371 --> 00:25:41,498
Or the Earthquake.
Earthquake is crazy!
626
00:25:41,606 --> 00:25:45,064
'Cause I just get in and I shake up in
there, fast as I can. I just shake.
627
00:25:56,521 --> 00:25:57,920
Malcolm!
628
00:25:57,989 --> 00:25:59,070
Malcolm, come here, please!
629
00:25:59,090 --> 00:26:00,490
Quick! What happened?
What happened?
630
00:26:00,759 --> 00:26:04,388
Okay, so the glass was on
the counter, and then it...
631
00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:06,724
Something knocked it off!
632
00:26:06,831 --> 00:26:08,196
How do you explain that?
633
00:26:08,500 --> 00:26:09,728
Well, maybe you put it
on the edge of the counter,
634
00:26:09,801 --> 00:26:10,825
and it just slipped off.
635
00:26:11,703 --> 00:26:14,365
Last night,
it was the door, Malcolm.
636
00:26:14,472 --> 00:26:17,669
And then, this morning,
the pot was on the floor.
637
00:26:17,909 --> 00:26:20,002
Maybe it wasn't put
on the rack properly.
638
00:26:20,078 --> 00:26:22,842
All right, I'll take credit for that.
Lord knows you don't cook.
639
00:26:22,914 --> 00:26:24,541
Oh, I love you, but stop.
Be careful.
640
00:26:24,649 --> 00:26:25,741
You're gonna get
glass in your foot
641
00:26:25,817 --> 00:26:27,079
and be trackin' blood
all through the house
642
00:26:27,152 --> 00:26:28,585
Like Bruce Willis in Die Hard.
643
00:26:32,357 --> 00:26:34,882
Do you believe
me now, Malcolm? Hmm?
644
00:26:34,993 --> 00:26:38,554
Maybe it was your vortex.
645
00:26:38,663 --> 00:26:39,960
Oh, God.
646
00:26:52,944 --> 00:26:54,411
Did you hear that?
647
00:26:54,512 --> 00:26:56,036
Nope.
What?
648
00:26:59,017 --> 00:27:00,348
What about that?
649
00:27:00,418 --> 00:27:02,249
That was just
the house settling.
650
00:27:02,354 --> 00:27:03,844
No big thing.
Just go back to sleep.
651
00:27:03,922 --> 00:27:05,890
Go back to sleep?
652
00:27:08,927 --> 00:27:10,861
The wind?
What?
653
00:27:10,929 --> 00:27:13,090
Negro, the windows are closed!
654
00:27:13,598 --> 00:27:15,998
Oh, hell, no! I'm out!
655
00:27:16,067 --> 00:27:17,159
What? Malcolm!
656
00:27:19,070 --> 00:27:20,128
Malcolm!
657
00:27:29,714 --> 00:27:31,579
Really?
658
00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:33,508
Oh, hell, no.
659
00:27:33,585 --> 00:27:36,145
Malcolm, what are you doing?
660
00:27:36,221 --> 00:27:39,247
Bitch, there is a ghost
in the house. I'm out.
661
00:27:39,324 --> 00:27:40,416
You can't leave.
662
00:27:40,492 --> 00:27:41,516
You watch me.
663
00:27:43,094 --> 00:27:44,186
Deuces.
664
00:27:46,498 --> 00:27:47,692
Malcolm!
665
00:27:52,003 --> 00:27:53,470
You all right?
Who am I kidding?
666
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,169
I can't sell a house
in this market.
667
00:27:58,109 --> 00:27:59,542
"Immediate possession."
668
00:28:00,879 --> 00:28:02,107
It's already possessed!
669
00:28:07,519 --> 00:28:09,987
Hi, Chip. I'm Kisha. Hi.
670
00:28:10,088 --> 00:28:11,521
Hi, I'm Chip the Psychic.
671
00:28:11,589 --> 00:28:12,613
Come on in.
672
00:28:12,691 --> 00:28:14,682
Nice. Nice.
673
00:28:16,628 --> 00:28:18,118
Oh!
674
00:28:18,196 --> 00:28:21,825
And you...
You must be Malcolm.
675
00:28:22,534 --> 00:28:24,297
Mmm, yeah. That's pretty good.
How did you know?
676
00:28:24,369 --> 00:28:25,393
Uh, psychic.
677
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:26,664
See?
678
00:28:26,771 --> 00:28:29,331
I have a lot of powers
all over my body.
679
00:28:29,441 --> 00:28:32,035
Do you... You play basketball,
probably, a little bit, right?
680
00:28:32,143 --> 00:28:33,701
No, not really.
You don't?
681
00:28:33,778 --> 00:28:35,473
No. Well, you got
the body for it.
682
00:28:36,047 --> 00:28:37,776
You're lucky.
683
00:28:37,849 --> 00:28:39,282
You're a lucky, lucky lady.
684
00:28:39,651 --> 00:28:41,812
I'm gonna ask you
some questions.
685
00:28:41,886 --> 00:28:45,014
You know, nothing cray.
Just real simple stuff.
686
00:28:45,123 --> 00:28:46,613
Okay, how long have you
guys been together?
687
00:28:46,691 --> 00:28:47,715
Two years.
Yes.
688
00:28:47,826 --> 00:28:49,521
Okay, Malcolm, are you happy?
Yes.
689
00:28:49,627 --> 00:28:50,907
Do you like living with her?
Yes.
690
00:28:50,995 --> 00:28:52,462
Have you been with a man? No.
691
00:28:52,530 --> 00:28:54,191
Did you have a good Halloween?
Yes.
692
00:28:54,265 --> 00:28:55,664
Did you have a good Christmas?
Yes.
693
00:28:55,734 --> 00:28:57,031
Do you like movies?
Yeah.
694
00:28:57,102 --> 00:28:58,126
Have you been with a man?
695
00:28:58,203 --> 00:28:59,602
Yeah...
No. What? No!
696
00:28:59,671 --> 00:29:01,138
Did you have a good Easter? Yes.
697
00:29:01,206 --> 00:29:02,571
Do you like booze?
Yes.
698
00:29:02,674 --> 00:29:04,073
Do you eat food every day? Yes.
699
00:29:04,175 --> 00:29:05,175
Have you been with a man?
700
00:29:05,243 --> 00:29:06,301
Yes. No, no!
701
00:29:06,377 --> 00:29:07,810
I've never been with a man.
702
00:29:07,879 --> 00:29:09,904
Okay, I'm just asking 'cause I'm
just trying to get to know you.
703
00:29:09,981 --> 00:29:12,211
I've never been with a man.
I've never been with a man.
704
00:29:12,317 --> 00:29:14,080
I've never been with a man.
Would you stop being so...
705
00:29:14,185 --> 00:29:15,225
I've never been with a man!
706
00:29:15,253 --> 00:29:16,242
Okay!
707
00:29:16,321 --> 00:29:17,721
You don't have to
be loud and angry.
708
00:29:17,789 --> 00:29:18,870
I've never been with a man!
709
00:29:18,890 --> 00:29:20,414
He keeps asking me if
I've been with a man!
710
00:29:20,525 --> 00:29:21,606
I've never been with a man!
711
00:29:21,626 --> 00:29:22,615
Okay.
712
00:29:22,694 --> 00:29:24,355
I'm trying to get to know you.
Have you been with a man?
713
00:29:24,496 --> 00:29:25,736
I sleep on this
side of the bed.
714
00:29:25,764 --> 00:29:26,753
Right.
715
00:29:26,831 --> 00:29:28,662
She sleeps there.
Ick.
716
00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:31,327
And, you know, we keep
the camera right there.
717
00:29:31,402 --> 00:29:34,735
And one night, we saw the
door kind of just, like...
718
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,033
Oh, wow. So there was
some paranormal over there.
719
00:29:38,109 --> 00:29:39,872
No, she thinks it's paranormal,
720
00:29:39,944 --> 00:29:42,037
and I think it's
'cause of the Tornado.
721
00:29:42,113 --> 00:29:43,740
'Cause I created a vortex.
722
00:29:43,815 --> 00:29:45,407
What does that mean?
723
00:29:45,517 --> 00:29:47,348
We was havin' sex,
and I was hittin' it.
724
00:29:47,418 --> 00:29:48,715
I was like...
725
00:29:49,521 --> 00:29:51,955
I was doing this round,
and I think the...
726
00:29:52,056 --> 00:29:54,115
Hey, hey, hey!
Hey, hey, hey.
727
00:29:54,225 --> 00:29:56,159
Hey, you okay?
Yeah, sorry.
728
00:29:56,227 --> 00:29:57,216
You all right?
729
00:29:57,295 --> 00:29:58,319
I got light-headed
there for a second.
730
00:29:58,396 --> 00:30:00,023
Okay. All right.
Yeah, no, I'm good.
731
00:30:00,098 --> 00:30:02,692
Check out the door.
You know what?
732
00:30:02,767 --> 00:30:04,167
There is some dark
energy over here.
733
00:30:04,235 --> 00:30:05,224
Really?
734
00:30:05,303 --> 00:30:07,203
Yeah. Wow, that's crazy.
735
00:30:07,272 --> 00:30:09,570
I didn't even... Oh!
736
00:30:09,641 --> 00:30:10,699
We got a ghost.
737
00:30:10,775 --> 00:30:11,799
Oh, my God, it's got me!
738
00:30:11,910 --> 00:30:14,538
It's got me!
It's got me!
739
00:30:14,612 --> 00:30:16,477
It's got me!
Help! Help!
740
00:30:16,581 --> 00:30:18,572
Hey, man!
Get off of me!
741
00:30:18,650 --> 00:30:21,551
Oh, man!
Get off of me.
742
00:30:21,619 --> 00:30:23,587
What are you doing?
743
00:30:23,655 --> 00:30:25,623
I don't know
what just happened.
744
00:30:25,723 --> 00:30:26,815
That was so scary.
745
00:30:27,292 --> 00:30:29,817
Okay, you guys. This is a
simple channeling exercise.
746
00:30:29,928 --> 00:30:31,293
Okay.
747
00:30:31,396 --> 00:30:33,455
This is creepy.
Shh.
748
00:30:33,531 --> 00:30:36,557
All right, Kisha, now just breathe.
Relax.
749
00:30:36,634 --> 00:30:38,966
Do you feel anything?
750
00:30:39,070 --> 00:30:40,560
No, not really.
751
00:30:40,638 --> 00:30:42,629
What about you, Malcolm?
752
00:30:44,008 --> 00:30:45,566
Just your dick in my back.
753
00:30:47,011 --> 00:30:49,002
Well, that's a start.
754
00:30:50,315 --> 00:30:53,079
Now, there are two kinds
of paranormal entities.
755
00:30:53,151 --> 00:30:56,245
I specialize in the good ones.
756
00:30:56,321 --> 00:30:58,755
Okay, yeah, like
Casper the Friendly Ghost.
757
00:30:58,890 --> 00:31:01,188
Oh!
Yeah, he's fun.
758
00:31:01,259 --> 00:31:03,625
And also Patrick Swayze
from Ghost.
759
00:31:03,695 --> 00:31:05,458
I love that movie.
760
00:31:05,530 --> 00:31:07,623
Yes, that one was
really moving.
761
00:31:07,699 --> 00:31:10,224
Especially with the clay, and
he'd work the clay and just...
762
00:31:10,435 --> 00:31:12,733
And he just
fuckin' has it, and...
763
00:31:13,438 --> 00:31:16,305
Demons, though, are bad.
764
00:31:17,041 --> 00:31:19,532
Those are pure,
pure, pure evil.
765
00:31:19,644 --> 00:31:22,841
And they will pop up
at the worst possible times.
766
00:31:22,947 --> 00:31:24,938
You know, like herpes.
767
00:31:28,319 --> 00:31:29,650
What?
768
00:31:29,721 --> 00:31:31,313
What are you looking at me for?
769
00:31:32,657 --> 00:31:36,286
All I'm saying is,
do not aggravate a demon.
770
00:31:36,361 --> 00:31:37,794
Do not try to contact them,
771
00:31:37,862 --> 00:31:41,195
and whatever you do,
do not film them.
772
00:31:41,466 --> 00:31:42,763
That will only
make things worse.
773
00:31:42,834 --> 00:31:44,995
See? Don't film demons.
774
00:31:45,069 --> 00:31:46,866
Very bad.
Okay.
775
00:31:48,506 --> 00:31:49,905
Well, thanks a lot
for coming out, man.
776
00:31:50,008 --> 00:31:51,809
Is there anything you
wanna get off your chest?
777
00:31:51,843 --> 00:31:53,003
No, I'm good.
778
00:31:53,077 --> 00:31:54,635
Is there anything you
want to put on my chest?
779
00:31:54,779 --> 00:31:56,179
Huh? Wait'll you see
the clay scene.
780
00:31:56,247 --> 00:31:57,544
Wait, wait. Uh...
781
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:00,649
I have a confession to make.
782
00:32:00,718 --> 00:32:02,185
Yep, herpes!
I knew it.
783
00:32:02,320 --> 00:32:04,686
Oh! Ick!
No, I don't!
784
00:32:05,023 --> 00:32:08,015
But did I mention that I made
a deal with the devil
785
00:32:08,092 --> 00:32:10,060
for a pair of
really cool Louboutins?
786
00:32:10,161 --> 00:32:12,891
You made a deal with the
devil for a pair of shoes?
787
00:32:12,997 --> 00:32:15,932
Not shoes, Malcolm!
Louboutins, okay?
788
00:32:16,034 --> 00:32:19,333
They've got red soles,
and they make my calves pop!
789
00:32:21,406 --> 00:32:23,840
Well, I really
needed them, okay?
790
00:32:23,908 --> 00:32:28,140
You are screwed, sista,
791
00:32:28,212 --> 00:32:29,577
with an "A."
792
00:32:29,681 --> 00:32:33,515
This demon is not leaving this
house until it gets what it wants.
793
00:32:33,584 --> 00:32:35,347
What's that?
794
00:32:35,420 --> 00:32:36,910
Kisha.
795
00:32:38,423 --> 00:32:39,788
You're fine, Malcolm.
796
00:32:39,857 --> 00:32:42,155
Like, you're free to
be whoever you want.
797
00:32:42,460 --> 00:32:43,484
It's a five-man
wrestling league.
798
00:32:43,561 --> 00:32:44,550
I'm good.
799
00:32:44,629 --> 00:32:45,653
It's so fun.
800
00:32:45,730 --> 00:32:46,851
I bet it is.
It's not for me.
801
00:32:46,864 --> 00:32:48,229
And everyone's really good.
Really?
802
00:32:48,299 --> 00:32:49,561
Yeah, no, but it's competitive.
803
00:32:49,634 --> 00:32:51,295
It's something that...
804
00:32:52,236 --> 00:32:54,534
Oh, my God.
I'm getting mind powers.
805
00:32:54,605 --> 00:32:56,596
Okay. All right.
I'm getting mind powers.
806
00:32:56,708 --> 00:33:02,237
Malcolm, something
is going to happen to you
807
00:33:02,313 --> 00:33:04,747
that is going to change you.
808
00:33:05,650 --> 00:33:06,742
Don't fight it.
809
00:33:06,818 --> 00:33:08,258
Whatever it is,
don't fight it, okay?
810
00:33:08,319 --> 00:33:10,310
Okay, I won't. I won't.
I can save you.
811
00:33:10,388 --> 00:33:12,117
It's five guys.
We wrestle on Monday.
812
00:33:12,223 --> 00:33:13,247
Okay.
813
00:33:13,324 --> 00:33:15,087
I can save you.
No, thank you.
814
00:33:15,159 --> 00:33:16,649
Save you!
815
00:33:16,761 --> 00:33:17,785
God.
816
00:33:17,862 --> 00:33:19,386
I think that went well.
817
00:33:19,464 --> 00:33:21,261
We need to talk.
818
00:33:21,332 --> 00:33:22,094
A demon, Kisha?
819
00:33:22,533 --> 00:33:24,626
I'm sorry, Malcolm.
820
00:33:24,736 --> 00:33:27,261
Why... Why didn't you tell me
this, like, on the first date?
821
00:33:27,338 --> 00:33:29,431
Because you never would have
gone out with me again.
822
00:33:29,507 --> 00:33:31,168
Exactly!
823
00:33:31,642 --> 00:33:34,076
How long has this
been happening to you?
824
00:33:34,145 --> 00:33:35,806
Since I was a little kid.
825
00:33:35,913 --> 00:33:37,972
What the shit is this?
826
00:33:38,883 --> 00:33:40,403
And you say I tape everything.
827
00:33:40,818 --> 00:33:42,445
Mm. Mm-mm-mm.
828
00:33:50,128 --> 00:33:53,393
Happy birthday, Kisha.
Mama loves you.
829
00:33:53,831 --> 00:33:55,992
Ooh! To think you
almost didn't make it.
830
00:33:56,067 --> 00:33:58,035
But good thing
that clinic was closed.
831
00:33:58,169 --> 00:34:00,501
Ooh! God is good
all the time.
832
00:34:00,738 --> 00:34:03,502
You are eight years old.
Enjoy your birthday.
833
00:34:03,708 --> 00:34:06,541
Sooner or later, you're gonna
come home from school one day.
834
00:34:06,644 --> 00:34:08,164
"Where's stepdaddy?
Where's stepdaddy?"
835
00:34:08,212 --> 00:34:10,180
And I'm gonna be gone.
836
00:34:11,182 --> 00:34:14,049
Happy birthday, Kisha.
Make a wish.
837
00:34:14,152 --> 00:34:15,312
Sit right there.
All right.
838
00:34:15,386 --> 00:34:16,410
Happy birthday to me.
839
00:34:16,521 --> 00:34:19,081
I wish Tony can
stay with me forever.
840
00:34:19,223 --> 00:34:20,383
Who is Tony?
841
00:34:20,491 --> 00:34:22,186
Who is Tony, baby?
He's my friend.
842
00:34:22,260 --> 00:34:23,581
If you have friends,
they'd all be
843
00:34:23,628 --> 00:34:25,425
gathered around here
drinking beer,
844
00:34:25,530 --> 00:34:27,088
smoking cigarettes,
having a good time,
845
00:34:27,198 --> 00:34:28,597
gambling, playing
cards and stuff.
846
00:34:28,699 --> 00:34:29,893
She talking about
her invisible friend.
847
00:34:29,967 --> 00:34:31,332
I guess we should
be nice about it.
848
00:34:31,402 --> 00:34:33,233
You gonna blow it out? Or you
just gonna look at us crazy?
849
00:34:33,438 --> 00:34:34,837
Dang.
She ain't all there.
850
00:34:34,906 --> 00:34:36,032
Why is she looking
at me like that?
851
00:34:36,107 --> 00:34:38,075
Lookin' all crazy.
You crazy.
852
00:34:38,176 --> 00:34:41,509
Look, look, look, look, look.
She got a lazy eye.
853
00:34:42,713 --> 00:34:43,753
Blow them damn candles out.
854
00:34:43,781 --> 00:34:45,442
Blow 'em out. I wanna get her
blowing out the candles.
855
00:34:45,550 --> 00:34:47,518
I know what I'm doing, woman.
Do not yell at me.
856
00:34:47,585 --> 00:34:48,950
Blow out the candles, baby.
857
00:34:49,053 --> 00:34:51,180
Tony, no!
858
00:34:53,024 --> 00:34:55,117
You wanna throw cake
on my brand-new Betamax?
859
00:34:55,226 --> 00:34:57,194
You must be crazy!
860
00:34:57,628 --> 00:34:59,152
Ow! It wasn't me.
It was Tony.
861
00:34:59,230 --> 00:35:01,357
I'm-a beat the Tony
out of you then.
862
00:35:01,933 --> 00:35:03,594
Ah, ah, ah.
Lamar, not so hard.
863
00:35:03,668 --> 00:35:04,794
You're gonna
break your new belt.
864
00:35:04,902 --> 00:35:05,926
This is how you
beat a stepchild.
865
00:35:06,037 --> 00:35:07,527
I won't beat my
own kids like this.
866
00:35:07,672 --> 00:35:09,264
I know that's right.
867
00:35:16,080 --> 00:35:18,412
Anything else
you wanna tell me?
868
00:35:18,649 --> 00:35:19,809
Well,
869
00:35:20,151 --> 00:35:21,345
about the herpes.
870
00:35:22,386 --> 00:35:24,251
Baby, what are you doing?
Huh?
871
00:35:24,322 --> 00:35:27,120
Oh, nothing. I'm just...
Just cleaning, that's all.
872
00:35:27,225 --> 00:35:29,056
You ever get that
not-so-fresh feeling?
873
00:35:29,160 --> 00:35:30,218
Seriously, Malcolm?
874
00:35:30,294 --> 00:35:32,626
Seriously, we're gonna
have to talk about your lies.
875
00:35:33,131 --> 00:35:34,723
Oh, that's fizzing.
It's fizzing.
876
00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:36,058
It's herpes, Kisha.
877
00:35:36,134 --> 00:35:38,932
This ain't a cold sore, Kisha.
This is the real thing.
878
00:35:40,004 --> 00:35:42,234
Ah! You did this to me.
879
00:35:42,773 --> 00:35:45,241
Get a match!
Get the goddamn match!
880
00:35:46,577 --> 00:35:49,637
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
881
00:35:49,747 --> 00:35:51,180
That hurt. Whoa!
882
00:36:49,507 --> 00:36:50,997
What the hell?
883
00:36:51,175 --> 00:36:52,403
What happened?
884
00:36:53,511 --> 00:36:55,479
Did...
885
00:36:55,546 --> 00:36:57,411
What'd you slap me for?
886
00:36:57,515 --> 00:36:59,005
Was I snoring?
887
00:36:59,417 --> 00:37:00,577
Kisha!
888
00:37:01,152 --> 00:37:02,312
Kisha!
889
00:37:03,921 --> 00:37:04,979
The hell?
890
00:37:05,890 --> 00:37:07,050
Kisha.
891
00:37:07,858 --> 00:37:08,916
Kisha.
892
00:37:09,026 --> 00:37:10,516
What the hell?
893
00:37:11,162 --> 00:37:12,151
Kisha.
894
00:37:12,563 --> 00:37:14,428
Oh, shit!
Kisha, what the...
895
00:37:17,268 --> 00:37:18,735
Kisha, what are you doing?
896
00:37:19,770 --> 00:37:22,261
What? Oh, that is gross.
897
00:37:22,740 --> 00:37:24,765
Wait! No, baby, that
milk is three weeks old.
898
00:37:25,042 --> 00:37:29,775
Oh! Baby.
Baby, what are you doing?
899
00:37:32,283 --> 00:37:35,548
I'll run to the store.
We're out of milk.
900
00:37:36,220 --> 00:37:37,860
I'll be right back.
No, no, you... No, no.
901
00:37:37,922 --> 00:37:39,184
Give me that.
902
00:37:41,525 --> 00:37:43,015
Honey, honey.
903
00:37:43,094 --> 00:37:45,062
Where do you keep the Pepto?
Oh, man.
904
00:37:45,129 --> 00:37:47,188
Where do you keep the Pepto?
My stomach hurts.
905
00:37:47,331 --> 00:37:49,196
What are you doing?
906
00:37:49,867 --> 00:37:51,528
I'm looking at
the tape from last night.
907
00:37:52,803 --> 00:37:54,202
Honey, you make me feel good.
908
00:37:54,272 --> 00:37:57,070
Okay. Maybe some sleep
will make you feel good.
909
00:37:57,475 --> 00:37:58,874
Oh, my God.
910
00:37:59,443 --> 00:38:02,378
I don't remember doing any of this.
What am I doing?
911
00:38:02,446 --> 00:38:04,812
Acting like a freak.
This is crazy.
912
00:38:05,149 --> 00:38:06,912
Wait, look at this.
Check this out.
913
00:38:07,051 --> 00:38:09,576
Something weird...
Weird-weird-weird is going on.
914
00:38:11,589 --> 00:38:14,251
Something weird is going on.
915
00:38:14,825 --> 00:38:16,759
Meow. Honey, you
make me feel good.
916
00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:19,589
Weird is going on.
917
00:38:19,664 --> 00:38:21,632
Weird is going on.
Weird-weird-weird is going on.
918
00:38:21,732 --> 00:38:22,756
Whoo!
919
00:38:22,900 --> 00:38:24,834
Weird-weird-weird-weird
is going on.
920
00:38:24,935 --> 00:38:27,426
I'm a scary ghost!
921
00:38:32,143 --> 00:38:33,167
I can't breathe.
922
00:38:33,611 --> 00:38:35,238
Baby, you mad?
923
00:38:35,546 --> 00:38:36,535
Baby.
924
00:38:39,016 --> 00:38:40,278
Malcolm!
925
00:38:41,185 --> 00:38:42,675
It's not a joke!
926
00:38:42,787 --> 00:38:46,086
Come on. I'm just trying to
make light of a bad situation.
927
00:38:46,157 --> 00:38:48,250
Bad situation? So, what,
now you're referring
928
00:38:48,326 --> 00:38:50,294
to my moving in
as a bad situation?
929
00:38:50,361 --> 00:38:52,795
I didn't have a demon in my
house till you moved in.
930
00:38:52,863 --> 00:38:55,491
What happened to, "You're living with me now.
I'll protect you"?
931
00:38:55,599 --> 00:38:57,692
From a burglar, not a ghost!
932
00:38:58,135 --> 00:38:59,466
You know what?
I ain't listening to this.
933
00:38:59,537 --> 00:39:01,767
Where do you
think you're going?
934
00:39:01,839 --> 00:39:03,033
Out.
935
00:39:03,374 --> 00:39:07,140
Oh, okay! So you're just
gonna leave me here alone?
936
00:39:07,445 --> 00:39:08,469
Malcolm!
937
00:39:48,986 --> 00:39:49,975
Malcolm!
938
00:39:50,054 --> 00:39:51,655
Okay, I'm coming,
I'm coming, I'm coming!
939
00:39:51,722 --> 00:39:52,746
What, what, what, what?
940
00:39:52,823 --> 00:39:53,812
Look at this!
941
00:39:54,525 --> 00:39:56,254
Oh, wow. What the...
942
00:39:57,261 --> 00:39:58,922
Oh, Daddy!
943
00:40:01,265 --> 00:40:02,527
Malcolm!
944
00:40:03,401 --> 00:40:04,834
Oh, shit.
945
00:40:04,902 --> 00:40:07,393
What kind of monster
would do this?
946
00:40:07,905 --> 00:40:09,497
Uh, uh, baby, you were right.
947
00:40:09,740 --> 00:40:12,004
Listen, there is an evil
spirit in this house.
948
00:40:12,076 --> 00:40:13,600
I believe you.
I was so dumb.
949
00:40:13,711 --> 00:40:14,837
I can't believe
I didn't believe.
950
00:40:14,912 --> 00:40:17,540
Oh, shit. I feel it. Oh, my God.
It's right there.
951
00:40:17,615 --> 00:40:19,105
You feel that?
Feel it, feel it, feel it.
952
00:40:19,216 --> 00:40:21,047
It's cold, right? Oh, my God!
953
00:40:21,118 --> 00:40:23,678
Baby, we have to get rid of
this menace once and for all.
954
00:40:23,754 --> 00:40:25,244
Ooh! The tape!
We can watch the tape.
955
00:40:25,356 --> 00:40:27,221
Wait, no! No, no, no.
Don't watch the tape.
956
00:40:27,291 --> 00:40:28,622
Don't watch the tape.
What?
957
00:40:28,726 --> 00:40:30,921
Because it's just me
and you against him.
958
00:40:31,028 --> 00:40:34,862
You evil spirit!
You leave this house alone!
959
00:40:35,099 --> 00:40:36,259
Now!
960
00:40:36,634 --> 00:40:38,534
You hear me?
You get out!
961
00:40:38,602 --> 00:40:40,229
Get out, demon.
Get out!
962
00:40:40,304 --> 00:40:41,862
Get out, get out, get out!
963
00:40:42,373 --> 00:40:43,362
See, I believe you.
No.
964
00:40:43,707 --> 00:40:45,299
I need you to shut up
once and for all.
965
00:40:45,376 --> 00:40:47,276
Let's watch the tape.
I am shutting up! God!
966
00:40:54,752 --> 00:40:56,379
Mm-hmm.
967
00:40:57,788 --> 00:40:59,312
Hi, Daddy.
968
00:40:59,657 --> 00:41:02,626
You want to come in here
and move in on my house? Huh?
969
00:41:03,994 --> 00:41:06,986
You like haunting people, huh?
I ain't scared of you.
970
00:41:07,097 --> 00:41:08,121
Uh, baby? Um...
971
00:41:08,232 --> 00:41:09,256
Fuck you, and fuck your daddy!
972
00:41:09,333 --> 00:41:10,493
This is disturbing.
You don't want to see it.
973
00:41:10,601 --> 00:41:11,932
I will break your arm.
974
00:41:12,303 --> 00:41:13,998
You wanna watch TV?
975
00:41:15,573 --> 00:41:16,699
Wow!
976
00:41:16,807 --> 00:41:19,037
Oh. Oh, my.
977
00:41:22,446 --> 00:41:23,879
See, that hurt. Lookee.
978
00:41:23,948 --> 00:41:25,708
I got a boo-boo, baby, right...
I don't care.
979
00:41:30,621 --> 00:41:31,645
Oh!
980
00:41:32,990 --> 00:41:35,788
On my father's ashes!
Really?
981
00:41:36,260 --> 00:41:38,820
You think you the shit?
I'll show you the shit.
982
00:41:39,330 --> 00:41:41,457
Nasty! That is so nasty.
983
00:41:41,532 --> 00:41:42,521
I will...
984
00:41:42,600 --> 00:41:43,658
On the floor? Really?
985
00:41:43,767 --> 00:41:46,429
So, what did you do, wipe
your ass with the curtains?
986
00:41:51,175 --> 00:41:52,699
Baby, you didn't like
the curtains anyway.
987
00:41:52,810 --> 00:41:54,300
You're an animal.
We'll get new curtains.
988
00:41:54,378 --> 00:41:55,504
It's just curtains.
989
00:41:55,613 --> 00:41:58,138
I'd be an animal if I
didn't wipe at all. Baby!
990
00:41:58,516 --> 00:42:00,177
This isn't gonna prove any...
Yes, it is!
991
00:42:01,352 --> 00:42:03,877
I swear that I
will listen to Kisha
992
00:42:03,988 --> 00:42:07,151
whenever she says strange things
are going on in the house.
993
00:42:07,491 --> 00:42:08,549
And?
994
00:42:08,659 --> 00:42:10,024
And...
995
00:42:10,561 --> 00:42:14,895
And I swear that I won't
antagonize the ghost anymore.
996
00:42:14,999 --> 00:42:17,490
Even though I didn't
bring him in the house.
997
00:42:17,835 --> 00:42:18,893
And?
998
00:42:19,670 --> 00:42:22,366
And I swear that
Kisha is the prettiest
999
00:42:22,473 --> 00:42:24,839
and the sexiest girl for never.
1000
00:42:26,143 --> 00:42:27,167
And?
1001
00:42:27,244 --> 00:42:29,269
And I promise I won't shit
in your daddy's ashes.
1002
00:42:29,346 --> 00:42:30,370
Louder!
1003
00:42:30,447 --> 00:42:31,505
I promise I won't shit
1004
00:42:31,582 --> 00:42:34,346
on Kisha's daddy's ashes
ever again.
1005
00:42:35,085 --> 00:42:36,416
Happy?
Yes.
1006
00:42:36,520 --> 00:42:38,181
Can I have my video game back now?
No!
1007
00:42:39,590 --> 00:42:40,716
See, man?
1008
00:42:42,826 --> 00:42:44,418
Why are you putting
powder on the floor?
1009
00:42:44,528 --> 00:42:47,395
See, the powder is gonna
let me see his footprints.
1010
00:42:47,698 --> 00:42:49,893
And you think
this is gonna work.
1011
00:42:49,967 --> 00:42:51,491
It did on Scooby-Doo.
1012
00:43:01,879 --> 00:43:03,540
Malcolm, did you hear that?
1013
00:43:03,647 --> 00:43:04,773
Mm-hmm.
1014
00:43:04,949 --> 00:43:07,679
Then why are you
pretending to be asleep?
1015
00:43:07,885 --> 00:43:08,943
'Cause I know if I'm up,
1016
00:43:09,053 --> 00:43:10,042
you're gonna make me
go check out
1017
00:43:10,120 --> 00:43:12,281
where them scary-ass
noises are coming from.
1018
00:43:12,723 --> 00:43:14,691
Get your black ass up.
1019
00:43:15,225 --> 00:43:16,522
See, man?
1020
00:43:22,032 --> 00:43:23,192
Kisha.
1021
00:43:24,368 --> 00:43:26,408
Camera. Get the camera.
Get the camera.
1022
00:43:29,440 --> 00:43:32,068
Whose plan was
stupid now, Kisha? Hmm?
1023
00:43:32,309 --> 00:43:34,140
Pass me a bat.
A bat?
1024
00:43:34,244 --> 00:43:35,565
You're gonna use
a bat on a ghost?
1025
00:43:35,613 --> 00:43:37,877
I'm sorry. I left my
proton pack in the car.
1026
00:43:37,948 --> 00:43:38,937
Pass me the bat.
1027
00:43:39,116 --> 00:43:41,277
This ghost's got
some ugly-ass feet.
1028
00:43:41,385 --> 00:43:42,613
Looks more like an alien.
1029
00:43:44,488 --> 00:43:46,089
I don't wanna do it.
I don't wanna do it.
1030
00:43:46,290 --> 00:43:47,985
I can't do it. I can't do it.
What?
1031
00:43:48,058 --> 00:43:49,286
Malcolm!
No, this... No.
1032
00:43:49,393 --> 00:43:50,655
This ain't what we do.
1033
00:43:50,761 --> 00:43:52,251
This is for white people.
Will you grow some balls!
1034
00:43:52,329 --> 00:43:54,991
This is for white people.
This ain't what niggers do.
1035
00:43:55,065 --> 00:43:57,761
We don't investigate.
We run. We run, we live.
1036
00:43:57,835 --> 00:43:59,632
If we was in a movie theater,
some black woman be screaming,
1037
00:43:59,737 --> 00:44:01,637
"Don't do it!
Don't do it, boy!"
1038
00:44:01,739 --> 00:44:03,536
"He behind there.
He in there."
1039
00:44:03,607 --> 00:44:06,075
If we know he's in there, why
the fuck are we going in there?
1040
00:44:06,310 --> 00:44:07,334
Come on, baby.
1041
00:44:07,411 --> 00:44:09,276
I don't want to do it.
1042
00:44:09,346 --> 00:44:11,246
Stop it.
What if it bites me?
1043
00:44:11,315 --> 00:44:13,340
It's not a zombie.
It's a ghost.
1044
00:44:13,450 --> 00:44:15,179
You wanna play?
That's right!
1045
00:44:15,285 --> 00:44:17,276
You hurt my mother.
You killed my mother.
1046
00:44:17,354 --> 00:44:18,616
That's right!
1047
00:44:18,689 --> 00:44:20,350
That's not helping.
It's not helping none.
1048
00:44:20,691 --> 00:44:22,249
You got this. Go.
1049
00:44:24,094 --> 00:44:25,655
You want some of this?
This is how we...
1050
00:44:25,663 --> 00:44:26,823
Get him!
1051
00:44:26,830 --> 00:44:28,491
Bust your...
Whoop that ghost's ass!
1052
00:44:28,565 --> 00:44:31,625
Turn on the lights!
Oh, my God! Rosa?
1053
00:44:31,702 --> 00:44:32,999
Rosa? Rosa! Rosa!
1054
00:44:33,070 --> 00:44:34,799
Si, senor! Que pasa?
1055
00:44:34,872 --> 00:44:37,102
Oh, my... I'm so sorry.
I thought you...
1056
00:44:37,174 --> 00:44:39,938
I... I didn't know.
I thought you was a ghost.
1057
00:44:40,010 --> 00:44:41,477
- Ghost?
- Or an alien.
1058
00:44:42,680 --> 00:44:46,275
I was talking about your feet,
not your citizenship or lack thereof.
1059
00:44:46,350 --> 00:44:47,408
I quit.
1060
00:44:47,484 --> 00:44:48,883
See? Give me the camera!
1061
00:44:48,986 --> 00:44:50,010
Go fix this.
1062
00:44:50,087 --> 00:44:51,179
No! I'm not fixing nothing!
1063
00:44:51,288 --> 00:44:53,449
Oh, can't believe Rosa quit.
1064
00:44:54,425 --> 00:44:57,883
Yeah, well, you know, this
is stressful on all of us.
1065
00:44:58,829 --> 00:45:01,525
I think I might have a little
something to help alleviate
1066
00:45:01,598 --> 00:45:02,929
some of that stress.
1067
00:45:04,368 --> 00:45:06,199
Take it. You hit it.
Yeah?
1068
00:45:06,303 --> 00:45:09,136
Now you gonna go spit up
the end and shit.
1069
00:45:09,206 --> 00:45:10,400
Hold it, hold it.
1070
00:45:14,144 --> 00:45:16,374
Damn!
1071
00:45:16,780 --> 00:45:19,374
Yay! Bravo.
Encore, encore.
1072
00:45:20,017 --> 00:45:21,985
I see a face in the chip.
1073
00:45:22,252 --> 00:45:24,015
It's got a mustache.
1074
00:45:24,088 --> 00:45:25,316
You're not moving...
Never get high.
1075
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:27,254
...fast enough, Malcolm.
Never get high
1076
00:45:27,324 --> 00:45:29,044
with people that don't
know how to get high.
1077
00:45:29,393 --> 00:45:30,724
I'm baked.
1078
00:45:57,087 --> 00:45:58,987
Oh, shit.
1079
00:46:02,760 --> 00:46:04,489
Los Angeles County, 911.
1080
00:46:16,473 --> 00:46:18,441
My dick!
1081
00:46:20,778 --> 00:46:22,177
He fell for it!
1082
00:46:23,147 --> 00:46:24,671
No, I don't want to.
1083
00:46:25,916 --> 00:46:28,544
Okay. Okay, I'll do it.
1084
00:46:35,058 --> 00:46:38,892
Yeah! That's a shotgun for your ass.
Whoo-hoo-hoo!
1085
00:46:42,499 --> 00:46:43,727
Is he gone?
Oh, he's gone.
1086
00:46:43,801 --> 00:46:44,825
Wow!
1087
00:46:44,935 --> 00:46:46,630
That's that Criss Angel
shit right there.
1088
00:46:46,737 --> 00:46:48,762
Yo, that ghost good.
That ghost good.
1089
00:46:48,839 --> 00:46:50,306
That ghost good.
That ghost good.
1090
00:46:55,312 --> 00:46:56,677
Oh, my God.
What?
1091
00:46:56,747 --> 00:46:58,078
That was awesome!
1092
00:47:05,856 --> 00:47:08,154
Disgusting!
1093
00:47:08,225 --> 00:47:10,523
Malcolm, wake up.
Mmm?
1094
00:47:11,295 --> 00:47:12,956
You peed the bed.
1095
00:47:14,498 --> 00:47:15,522
What?
1096
00:47:15,599 --> 00:47:16,793
You peed the bed.
1097
00:47:17,000 --> 00:47:19,025
Oh, shit! Oh!
1098
00:47:20,437 --> 00:47:21,802
Oh, that's...
1099
00:47:23,440 --> 00:47:24,600
That's not funny.
1100
00:47:25,108 --> 00:47:26,803
Oh, that's fucked up.
1101
00:47:27,444 --> 00:47:28,968
That's real fucked up.
1102
00:47:31,281 --> 00:47:33,442
Hey, Steve, thanks a lot for
bringing the Ouija board over, man.
1103
00:47:33,517 --> 00:47:34,711
I really appreciate that.
Oh, no worries, bro.
1104
00:47:34,785 --> 00:47:35,825
- Hopefully...
- Hey, baby.
1105
00:47:35,886 --> 00:47:36,875
Can you grab the wine?
1106
00:47:36,987 --> 00:47:40,445
Oh, hey, Kisha, the
dinner was so amazing.
1107
00:47:40,524 --> 00:47:44,790
The chicken was unbelievably
tender and real juicy.
1108
00:47:44,862 --> 00:47:47,092
Oh, well, actually,
that was all Malcolm.
1109
00:47:47,164 --> 00:47:49,257
Was it now?
I'll be damned.
1110
00:47:49,333 --> 00:47:52,825
Well, thanks for letting me nibble
on the leg because I love dark meat.
1111
00:47:53,503 --> 00:47:55,733
Mmm. Well, that is true.
She eats it up.
1112
00:47:55,806 --> 00:47:57,740
I bet she does.
She eats it all up.
1113
00:47:57,875 --> 00:47:59,274
Yeah.
1114
00:47:59,343 --> 00:48:00,776
You guys are
gonna love this wine.
1115
00:48:00,844 --> 00:48:02,539
It is a very robust red.
1116
00:48:02,613 --> 00:48:03,637
Yum.
1117
00:48:03,714 --> 00:48:05,545
Well, you know what they say.
1118
00:48:05,649 --> 00:48:07,879
"The blacker the berry,
the sweeter the juice."
1119
00:48:08,018 --> 00:48:09,212
Mm-hmm.
1120
00:48:09,319 --> 00:48:11,810
Okay, y'all need to
cut this out.
1121
00:48:12,155 --> 00:48:14,020
Well, you know what? Normally, we
don't have to chase this hard.
1122
00:48:14,091 --> 00:48:15,115
Mm-hmm.
1123
00:48:15,192 --> 00:48:16,523
Steve...
Hmm?
1124
00:48:16,593 --> 00:48:19,084
I was talking about
that stupid board.
1125
00:48:19,363 --> 00:48:20,990
- Oh.
- Oh.
1126
00:48:21,164 --> 00:48:23,394
Baby, I just want
to communicate with it.
1127
00:48:25,135 --> 00:48:28,127
Are you a ghost or a demon?
1128
00:48:30,641 --> 00:48:32,165
Who's doing that? Malcolm.
Who's doing that?
1129
00:48:32,276 --> 00:48:34,141
I don't know. It's not me.
I swear to God.
1130
00:48:34,211 --> 00:48:36,611
"G."
1131
00:48:36,680 --> 00:48:37,806
You guys.
1132
00:48:37,881 --> 00:48:39,576
"O."
1133
00:48:39,650 --> 00:48:41,690
Steve, are you pushing this?
I'm not doing anything.
1134
00:48:41,718 --> 00:48:43,618
Oh, what? "S."
1135
00:48:43,687 --> 00:48:44,745
Go where...
1136
00:48:45,856 --> 00:48:47,118
"T."
1137
00:48:48,492 --> 00:48:50,983
A "gost?" What the
hell is a "gost"?
1138
00:48:51,061 --> 00:48:53,291
Oh, maybe he's
trying to spell "ghost."
1139
00:48:53,363 --> 00:48:55,058
Are you trying
to spell "ghost"?
1140
00:48:56,633 --> 00:48:57,657
You're doing that?
1141
00:48:57,734 --> 00:48:59,031
No. I'm not
moving it, I swear.
1142
00:49:01,138 --> 00:49:02,230
"Yes."
1143
00:49:03,373 --> 00:49:05,967
Wait. So, he just
spelled "ghost" "gost."
1144
00:49:07,444 --> 00:49:11,005
What kind of illiterate,
bitch-ass ghost is this?
1145
00:49:11,081 --> 00:49:13,641
Please. Can you please
use "gost" in a sentence?
1146
00:49:13,717 --> 00:49:15,514
Yeah, right.
1147
00:49:15,585 --> 00:49:17,018
Up yours,
you stupid "gost."
1148
00:49:18,689 --> 00:49:19,849
He probably dyslexic, too.
1149
00:49:19,923 --> 00:49:22,187
He probably
spells "boo," O-O-B.
1150
00:49:22,259 --> 00:49:23,749
Ooh!
1151
00:49:23,827 --> 00:49:25,488
Oh.
Oh.
1152
00:49:26,163 --> 00:49:27,858
Whoa, whoa!
1153
00:49:29,566 --> 00:49:31,056
Somebody's sensitive.
1154
00:49:31,134 --> 00:49:32,158
And stupid.
1155
00:49:35,572 --> 00:49:38,012
You know what? I think we'll
probably just show ourselves out.
1156
00:50:07,137 --> 00:50:08,263
Good morning, honey.
1157
00:50:08,405 --> 00:50:09,565
Good morning.
Mmm.
1158
00:50:11,541 --> 00:50:12,565
Hey.
1159
00:50:12,843 --> 00:50:13,832
Mmm.
1160
00:50:13,944 --> 00:50:15,536
Well, all right.
1161
00:50:15,645 --> 00:50:21,845
Baby, that is the best night's
sleep I've had since I moved in.
1162
00:50:22,185 --> 00:50:24,386
Well, maybe because you made
me sleep in the other room.
1163
00:50:25,655 --> 00:50:27,350
What are you talking about?
1164
00:50:27,424 --> 00:50:29,415
We had
a breakthrough last night.
1165
00:50:30,027 --> 00:50:31,790
A breakthrough? Really?
1166
00:50:31,895 --> 00:50:33,453
Yes, Malcolm.
1167
00:50:33,530 --> 00:50:38,558
The way that you touched me,
caressed me, made love to me.
1168
00:50:40,570 --> 00:50:42,663
What are you talking about?
1169
00:50:42,739 --> 00:50:45,333
Malcolm, we had sex last night!
1170
00:50:45,409 --> 00:50:46,637
No, we didn't.
1171
00:50:46,710 --> 00:50:48,575
Yes, we did.
For about two hours!
1172
00:50:48,678 --> 00:50:50,908
Uh, that definitely wasn't me.
1173
00:50:51,014 --> 00:50:52,845
Well, who else
could it have been?
1174
00:50:55,952 --> 00:50:57,078
No, get off of me!
1175
00:51:06,763 --> 00:51:09,061
Oh, my God.
1176
00:51:11,935 --> 00:51:15,393
Mmm.
1177
00:51:15,572 --> 00:51:16,732
Mmm, Malcolm.
1178
00:51:17,340 --> 00:51:18,671
What?
1179
00:51:18,742 --> 00:51:20,334
Ooh, that's new.
1180
00:51:23,246 --> 00:51:26,044
Oh.
Are you doing the alphabet?
1181
00:51:26,850 --> 00:51:28,909
Uh-uh, nigger, clean your plate.
Come on.
1182
00:51:30,087 --> 00:51:33,386
Slob it down, slob it down.
1183
00:51:33,457 --> 00:51:35,687
Waterboarding your ass.
1184
00:51:36,726 --> 00:51:38,284
Mm, Malcolm.
Did you grow?
1185
00:51:39,596 --> 00:51:42,360
Ride the pony! Ride it. Oh!
1186
00:51:43,700 --> 00:51:45,725
Oh! Get it! Get it! Get it!
Oh, I've had it.
1187
00:51:46,103 --> 00:51:49,072
Oh, yeah! Dip it!
Dip it down!
1188
00:51:49,973 --> 00:51:51,031
I can't watch.
1189
00:51:51,108 --> 00:51:52,370
Why don't I finish up...
I can't watch anymore.
1190
00:51:52,442 --> 00:51:54,003
I just can't watch anymore.
I'll finish.
1191
00:52:01,718 --> 00:52:03,413
Uh-uh, you ain't done yet.
1192
00:52:12,996 --> 00:52:15,430
I had no idea
you was a squirter.
1193
00:52:17,501 --> 00:52:19,128
Neither did I?
1194
00:52:22,272 --> 00:52:23,899
Hey.
Don't touch me.
1195
00:52:24,074 --> 00:52:28,010
You seriously have an
attitude with me right now?
1196
00:52:28,078 --> 00:52:29,807
You liked it.
What?
1197
00:52:30,480 --> 00:52:32,311
You heard me.
You liked it.
1198
00:52:32,415 --> 00:52:34,781
You like having
sex with that thing
1199
00:52:34,851 --> 00:52:36,409
more than you like
having sex with me.
1200
00:52:37,921 --> 00:52:40,412
Malcolm, I was asleep.
1201
00:52:40,824 --> 00:52:42,018
Mm-hmm. Talk to the hand.
I was...
1202
00:52:42,092 --> 00:52:43,320
That's the hand.
Talk to it.
1203
00:52:43,393 --> 00:52:44,587
I was asleep, okay?
1204
00:52:44,661 --> 00:52:46,424
I didn't know I was
having sex with a ghost.
1205
00:52:46,530 --> 00:52:47,622
Aha!
1206
00:52:47,831 --> 00:52:50,061
You just admitted
to having sex with a ghost!
1207
00:52:50,133 --> 00:52:53,694
And you liked it!
"Oh, Malcolm, you grew."
1208
00:52:54,337 --> 00:52:55,429
What happened, Kisha?
1209
00:52:55,505 --> 00:52:57,132
I'm not adequate
enough for you?
1210
00:52:57,274 --> 00:53:00,402
Huh? I'm sorry.
I tried Extense, Kisha.
1211
00:53:00,477 --> 00:53:01,677
Went through the whole program.
1212
00:53:01,711 --> 00:53:04,373
I did Cialis, Viagra and Maca.
1213
00:53:04,447 --> 00:53:06,039
Okay. All it did
was get me dizzy,
1214
00:53:06,116 --> 00:53:07,640
you know...
Okay, stop it, all right?
1215
00:53:07,717 --> 00:53:09,617
That is not fair!
I was anally bleeding
1216
00:53:09,686 --> 00:53:11,313
for a month,
and you didn't even know.
1217
00:53:11,388 --> 00:53:13,117
Listen, that is not fair,
1218
00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:16,125
because I'm the one who
was violated, not you.
1219
00:53:20,697 --> 00:53:22,028
I'm sorry.
1220
00:53:22,132 --> 00:53:23,929
I'm sorry,
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1221
00:53:25,702 --> 00:53:28,102
Must have been a
horrific experience for you.
1222
00:53:28,171 --> 00:53:29,331
I'm sorry.
1223
00:53:29,906 --> 00:53:32,374
Eh, could have been worse.
1224
00:53:34,644 --> 00:53:35,872
Hey, cuz... Ray-Ray.
1225
00:53:35,946 --> 00:53:36,986
You got a beef up in here?
1226
00:53:37,047 --> 00:53:39,106
Lots of niggers.
Not beef. Hey...
1227
00:53:39,182 --> 00:53:41,173
Hey, what the fuck is
you taping for, Kisha?
1228
00:53:41,251 --> 00:53:43,219
We thugs.
We can't be on no TV!
1229
00:53:43,320 --> 00:53:45,185
Shut up, Ray-Ray.
1230
00:53:45,255 --> 00:53:46,984
Get the fuck off me.
Okay. Sorry.
1231
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,490
So, what's going on
with this beef, homey?
1232
00:53:48,558 --> 00:53:50,583
It's that old bitch next
door, ain't it, homey?
1233
00:53:50,694 --> 00:53:52,184
Yeah, she was
eyeballing me, cuz,
1234
00:53:52,262 --> 00:53:54,423
when I was all up in her
windowsill last night.
1235
00:53:54,531 --> 00:53:56,931
But she got a nice body,
though, cuz.
1236
00:53:57,000 --> 00:53:59,093
You know, like a sexy-ass
baked potato, homey.
1237
00:53:59,169 --> 00:54:00,261
It's not like that.
1238
00:54:00,370 --> 00:54:01,850
What the fuck is it like,
then, homey?
1239
00:54:01,871 --> 00:54:04,339
Well, someone's coming
between me and Kisha.
1240
00:54:04,407 --> 00:54:06,136
Somebody fucked your girl, cuz?
1241
00:54:06,209 --> 00:54:07,938
Well, not... I be the one
that fucked your girl!
1242
00:54:08,044 --> 00:54:09,170
Oh, please.
1243
00:54:09,246 --> 00:54:11,407
How you let somebody fuck
your girl before me, cuz?
1244
00:54:11,514 --> 00:54:12,674
We family, nigger!
1245
00:54:12,749 --> 00:54:13,875
I... I'm sorry... Kinda.
1246
00:54:13,950 --> 00:54:16,783
How the fuck do you "kinda"
bang Kisha, homey?
1247
00:54:16,886 --> 00:54:19,446
Did he have one pant leg
in, one pant leg out?
1248
00:54:19,522 --> 00:54:21,490
Like, he wasn't even interested
in fucking her, homey?
1249
00:54:21,558 --> 00:54:23,150
Like, he had somewhere
better to be, homey?
1250
00:54:23,226 --> 00:54:25,194
Okay, Ray-Ray,
that is not what it's like.
1251
00:54:25,262 --> 00:54:28,459
And can you please tell your Negro
to back the hell up off me?
1252
00:54:28,531 --> 00:54:30,965
Hey! Pelvis back
2 inches, homey.
1253
00:54:31,067 --> 00:54:32,762
But stay up on her, though.
1254
00:54:32,869 --> 00:54:34,598
What the fuck is
it like then, Kisha? Hmm?
1255
00:54:34,671 --> 00:54:36,070
If you listen, I'll tell you.
1256
00:54:36,139 --> 00:54:37,504
You tell me!
1257
00:54:37,574 --> 00:54:39,872
I can't wait to get
my hands on this fool.
1258
00:54:39,943 --> 00:54:41,911
- Come on out, cuz!
Ray-Ray, cut it out.
1259
00:54:41,978 --> 00:54:43,673
You're gonna make it mad.
1260
00:54:46,716 --> 00:54:49,276
I don't give a fuck, Kisha!
1261
00:54:49,386 --> 00:54:52,446
He should be worried about making
Ray-Ray mad up in here, bitch!
1262
00:54:52,522 --> 00:54:54,080
Who you callin' a bitch?
1263
00:54:54,157 --> 00:54:55,215
Show yourself!
1264
00:54:55,292 --> 00:54:56,589
No, Ray, don't do that!
Don't...
1265
00:55:00,563 --> 00:55:02,326
What the fuck is that?
1266
00:55:02,499 --> 00:55:04,364
A ghost, Ray.
1267
00:55:05,335 --> 00:55:07,269
A "ghost" ghost?
A "ghost" ghost.
1268
00:55:07,337 --> 00:55:08,361
Like a dead ghost?
1269
00:55:08,438 --> 00:55:10,269
Yes! Ray-Ray, that's
what we've been trying
1270
00:55:10,340 --> 00:55:12,205
to tell you for 15 minutes!
1271
00:55:12,942 --> 00:55:14,375
You idiot.
1272
00:55:14,444 --> 00:55:19,074
What the...
What in the hell...
1273
00:55:20,450 --> 00:55:22,475
What happened to
your furniture, cuz?
1274
00:55:31,027 --> 00:55:32,460
Get your hands up, cuz!
1275
00:55:32,529 --> 00:55:33,791
You're trying to
get me killed, cuz.
1276
00:55:33,863 --> 00:55:35,387
I didn't, Ray-Ray! Ray!
1277
00:55:36,299 --> 00:55:37,561
God!
1278
00:55:40,170 --> 00:55:41,398
My stuff!
1279
00:55:42,772 --> 00:55:45,605
Babe, you got to admit,
it's kind of impressive.
1280
00:55:52,015 --> 00:55:54,142
Perfume? Hey!
1281
00:55:54,484 --> 00:55:56,714
Yeah, it's new.
It's called Entity.
1282
00:55:56,786 --> 00:55:58,651
I like it.
1283
00:55:59,489 --> 00:56:01,480
What's the occasion?
What's up?
1284
00:56:01,558 --> 00:56:04,459
Malcolm, is it a crime
to want to sleep
1285
00:56:04,527 --> 00:56:06,085
with no panties on?
1286
00:56:08,865 --> 00:56:11,732
I get it. This...
This ain't for me.
1287
00:56:11,801 --> 00:56:13,291
This is for him.
1288
00:56:13,370 --> 00:56:15,201
Who are you talking about?
1289
00:56:16,206 --> 00:56:17,730
You know exactly
who I'm talking about.
1290
00:56:17,841 --> 00:56:20,503
For your little
supernatural lover.
1291
00:56:20,643 --> 00:56:22,133
Malcolm,
you're being ridiculous,
1292
00:56:22,212 --> 00:56:23,645
and I'm gonna
say this right now.
1293
00:56:23,813 --> 00:56:25,644
Insecurity is not attractive.
1294
00:56:25,715 --> 00:56:27,808
Yeah? Well, being a
paranormal jump-off
1295
00:56:27,884 --> 00:56:30,682
is not attractive either, hon.
Good night.
1296
00:56:30,987 --> 00:56:32,818
You're taking this too far.
Whatever.
1297
00:56:32,889 --> 00:56:34,982
I have no interest in a ghost.
1298
00:56:45,735 --> 00:56:47,896
You gonna try and contact him?
1299
00:56:49,272 --> 00:56:50,398
Good night!
I was gonna...
1300
00:56:50,507 --> 00:56:51,565
Good night!
1301
00:57:57,640 --> 00:57:59,232
Get off of me!
1302
00:58:02,946 --> 00:58:04,504
Baby.
Hey!
1303
00:58:04,614 --> 00:58:05,740
Hey.
Hey.
1304
00:58:05,815 --> 00:58:07,176
What's...
What's up with the donut?
1305
00:58:07,183 --> 00:58:11,244
Oh, uh, I just got a little
hemorrhoid, that's all.
1306
00:58:11,321 --> 00:58:12,652
Oh, I'm sorry.
Hurts.
1307
00:58:12,755 --> 00:58:15,189
So, anything happen
eventful last night?
1308
00:58:15,291 --> 00:58:18,419
No, nothing eventful.
Just, you know, the usual.
1309
00:58:18,495 --> 00:58:21,293
Just, like, you know,
door slams, stuff like that.
1310
00:58:21,531 --> 00:58:22,731
Oh. I wanna see.
1311
00:58:22,765 --> 00:58:23,857
Nope, nope.
1312
00:58:23,967 --> 00:58:25,088
Nothing for you to see, baby.
1313
00:58:25,101 --> 00:58:26,659
Wait! Baby!
1314
00:58:26,736 --> 00:58:27,794
Hey!
1315
00:58:27,871 --> 00:58:29,202
Can you... So rude!
Stop! Stop!
1316
00:58:29,305 --> 00:58:30,431
Hey! Malcolm!
Would you...
1317
00:58:30,507 --> 00:58:31,974
Cut it...
Just gotta do...
1318
00:58:32,041 --> 00:58:33,440
Oh, my!
You know what?
1319
00:58:33,510 --> 00:58:35,273
You...
You got altar-boyed.
1320
00:58:35,345 --> 00:58:36,607
You know what?
1321
00:58:36,679 --> 00:58:38,670
You can't...
Malcolm, hold on a second.
1322
00:58:38,781 --> 00:58:40,715
No, no, no, no, no!
You just uploaded it!
1323
00:58:40,817 --> 00:58:42,011
No, no, no!
1324
00:58:42,118 --> 00:58:43,380
Oh, no!
1325
00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:48,013
You're gonna be bigger than
Charlie Bit My Finger.
1326
00:58:53,630 --> 00:58:55,063
Say hello to the camera.
1327
00:58:55,164 --> 00:58:56,324
Hello, Malcolm...
Come on, Kisha.
1328
00:58:56,399 --> 00:58:58,833
Get the camera out my face.
I'm not in the mood. Stop it!
1329
00:58:58,902 --> 00:59:00,335
Oh, I see. I see.
1330
00:59:00,403 --> 00:59:04,396
Now that you've been touched by an
angel, suddenly you're camera shy?
1331
00:59:05,542 --> 00:59:07,635
Let me ask you
a question, Kisha.
1332
00:59:07,710 --> 00:59:09,371
Is this the first
ghost you slept with?
1333
00:59:09,479 --> 00:59:11,879
Or it's the first one
I caught you with?
1334
00:59:11,981 --> 00:59:13,661
You wanna go there?
Yeah, I wanna go there.
1335
00:59:13,683 --> 00:59:14,672
When did you
become ghost pussy?
1336
00:59:14,851 --> 00:59:15,840
You know what, Malcolm?
1337
00:59:15,919 --> 00:59:19,719
Maybe I wouldn't need a ghost
if I was with a real man!
1338
00:59:20,890 --> 00:59:24,223
There are Super Bowl ads
that last longer than you do!
1339
00:59:24,294 --> 00:59:25,334
Let me tell you something.
1340
00:59:25,395 --> 00:59:27,727
People wait all year for
those Super Bowl ads, baby.
1341
00:59:27,864 --> 00:59:28,888
All year!
1342
00:59:28,998 --> 00:59:31,193
And maybe it's 'cause
every time I see you naked,
1343
00:59:31,267 --> 00:59:33,497
all I can think about is
you sitting on the toilet,
1344
00:59:33,570 --> 00:59:34,832
playing with a Rubik's Cube!
1345
00:59:34,904 --> 00:59:37,395
I'm sorry, Kisha. Some things
just shouldn't be shared.
1346
00:59:37,473 --> 00:59:38,565
I let my guard down and...
1347
00:59:38,641 --> 00:59:39,903
Oh, you let your guard down.
1348
00:59:39,976 --> 00:59:41,170
...you're gonna
throw it back in my face?
1349
00:59:41,244 --> 00:59:42,472
You killed my dog!
1350
00:59:42,545 --> 00:59:43,876
You have not let this go!
1351
00:59:43,947 --> 00:59:44,936
Yeah, let's go there.
1352
00:59:45,014 --> 00:59:46,242
I did not kill your dog!
1353
00:59:46,316 --> 00:59:47,510
You dog murderer.
1354
00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,449
That was my baby, and you
killed it on purpose!
1355
00:59:49,552 --> 00:59:50,792
Oh, your baby was 87 years old!
1356
00:59:51,354 --> 00:59:53,015
Shh.
1357
00:59:55,625 --> 00:59:57,024
Okay.
Okay.
1358
00:59:57,093 --> 00:59:58,390
All right, come on.
Let's go outside.
1359
00:59:58,461 --> 01:00:00,361
Okay. Okay.
Come on.
1360
01:00:00,430 --> 01:00:01,897
Okay. Go!
Okay.
1361
01:00:02,298 --> 01:00:03,492
Do you see that?
It's getting worse.
1362
01:00:03,566 --> 01:00:04,897
Well, you heard the psychic,
all right?
1363
01:00:05,001 --> 01:00:06,298
It feeds off of
negative energy.
1364
01:00:06,369 --> 01:00:07,893
All of your arguing
is making it stronger.
1365
01:00:08,004 --> 01:00:09,130
My arguing? My arguing?
1366
01:00:09,205 --> 01:00:10,263
You're the one that...
1367
01:00:10,340 --> 01:00:11,329
That's right.
1368
01:00:11,407 --> 01:00:12,728
We have to stop fighting.
I can't.
1369
01:00:12,742 --> 01:00:14,073
You are getting on my nerves.
1370
01:00:14,177 --> 01:00:16,042
Well, just pretend.
1371
01:00:25,154 --> 01:00:27,019
Good thing we
switched to plastic.
1372
01:00:36,332 --> 01:00:38,061
We'll have to get
that pot rack looked at.
1373
01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:39,600
Mm-hmm.
1374
01:00:50,647 --> 01:00:51,705
Tea's ready.
Mmm.
1375
01:01:01,958 --> 01:01:03,482
I'm gonna make
a run to Starbucks.
1376
01:01:12,535 --> 01:01:14,002
Can you pick me up a latte?
1377
01:01:14,070 --> 01:01:15,094
You got it!
1378
01:01:31,287 --> 01:01:32,311
Malcolm!
1379
01:01:41,064 --> 01:01:43,396
Yeah! I kicked you
in your ghost balls!
1380
01:01:43,466 --> 01:01:44,763
I got some for you...
1381
01:01:49,338 --> 01:01:50,600
Malcolm!
1382
01:01:50,673 --> 01:01:53,301
Wake up!
Nigger, open your eyes!
1383
01:01:53,476 --> 01:01:56,172
Take off those damn headphones!
1384
01:01:56,245 --> 01:01:58,042
Malcolm!
1385
01:02:02,385 --> 01:02:03,784
Malcolm!
1386
01:02:03,853 --> 01:02:05,946
Malcolm!
1387
01:02:18,701 --> 01:02:20,862
Yeah, listen.
Something's wrong with Kisha.
1388
01:02:20,937 --> 01:02:23,064
No, no, she's been
cleaning all morning.
1389
01:02:24,240 --> 01:02:26,003
Dude, Kisha don't clean.
1390
01:02:27,143 --> 01:02:29,611
That's good, baby. Not the couch, honey!
Not the couch.
1391
01:02:29,679 --> 01:02:31,510
Not the couch.
Yes, the floor.
1392
01:02:31,614 --> 01:02:33,980
Yeah, good girl, good girl.
1393
01:02:34,050 --> 01:02:36,780
Yo, man, earlier,
I caught her masturbating
1394
01:02:37,386 --> 01:02:38,785
with a crucifix.
1395
01:02:39,088 --> 01:02:40,749
Kisha?
1396
01:02:42,525 --> 01:02:43,856
Wouldn't you rather use this?
1397
01:02:48,931 --> 01:02:50,023
Okay.
1398
01:02:51,167 --> 01:02:52,862
Exactly. I'm...
1399
01:02:54,937 --> 01:02:56,598
Uh, dude, I gotta go.
1400
01:02:56,672 --> 01:02:58,503
No, she's walking the dog.
1401
01:02:59,308 --> 01:03:01,640
What's wrong with that?
The dog is dead.
1402
01:03:01,711 --> 01:03:04,179
I gotta go.
Uh, Kisha?
1403
01:03:05,348 --> 01:03:07,316
Kisha. Oh, boy. Kisha!
1404
01:03:08,518 --> 01:03:10,850
Kisha? Baby?
1405
01:03:12,488 --> 01:03:15,514
Listen, I just wanted to apologize
for the way I been acting.
1406
01:03:15,625 --> 01:03:16,922
I just want to tell
you that I love you,
1407
01:03:16,993 --> 01:03:19,518
and I don't want anything
to come between us.
1408
01:03:19,595 --> 01:03:22,655
And what the hell is that
Twilight shit on your neck?
1409
01:03:22,865 --> 01:03:25,561
Oh, my God! Oh, God!
1410
01:03:26,002 --> 01:03:27,367
What the hell?
1411
01:03:28,771 --> 01:03:31,035
Oh, yeah.
She is definitely on the rag.
1412
01:03:32,542 --> 01:03:34,462
Oh, Father.
Thank God you could make it.
1413
01:03:35,211 --> 01:03:36,838
Nigger, call me "Doug."
1414
01:03:36,946 --> 01:03:38,937
I don't like being
called "Father." No way.
1415
01:03:39,015 --> 01:03:41,609
Plus, I got a couple issues
with a few people out there
1416
01:03:41,684 --> 01:03:43,549
claiming false child support.
1417
01:03:43,653 --> 01:03:45,883
I mean, just 'cause the
little nigger got my eyes,
1418
01:03:45,988 --> 01:03:48,855
my nose, my extremely rare
AB-negative blood type,
1419
01:03:48,958 --> 01:03:50,755
don't mean I'm the damn daddy.
1420
01:03:51,394 --> 01:03:53,555
Plus, I'm still in training.
1421
01:03:53,663 --> 01:03:55,130
At the seminary?
1422
01:03:55,264 --> 01:03:56,731
No, the penitentiary.
1423
01:03:56,833 --> 01:03:58,357
What?
Shit, nigger,
1424
01:03:58,434 --> 01:04:00,129
I've been
incarcerated 15 years.
1425
01:04:00,403 --> 01:04:02,667
Oh. But you learn a lot out
there reading on the yard.
1426
01:04:02,738 --> 01:04:05,400
You shank a nigger, come
in, read the scripture.
1427
01:04:05,508 --> 01:04:07,738
Shank a motherfucker,
read the scripture.
1428
01:04:07,844 --> 01:04:09,165
You gonna let
a nigger in or what?
1429
01:04:09,212 --> 01:04:10,412
Uh, I'm sorry, Father.
Come in.
1430
01:04:10,513 --> 01:04:12,674
Damn. Standing out here, nigger.
It's cold as hell.
1431
01:04:15,785 --> 01:04:16,911
Ooh.
1432
01:04:17,820 --> 01:04:20,345
Uh, bro, I'm gonna have
to level with you.
1433
01:04:20,423 --> 01:04:22,323
This bitch don't look right.
1434
01:04:22,425 --> 01:04:26,259
I mean, she look all
ashy and shit, and just...
1435
01:04:26,362 --> 01:04:28,728
You know, like E.T.
with a weave.
1436
01:04:28,831 --> 01:04:30,230
If I was you, I'd just be out.
1437
01:04:30,333 --> 01:04:31,891
Let's just go.
Come on. Let's go.
1438
01:04:32,001 --> 01:04:34,333
Uh, I... I can't leave her.
That's my girl.
1439
01:04:34,403 --> 01:04:35,870
Are you kidding me?
Come on, man.
1440
01:04:35,938 --> 01:04:37,337
There's so much
pussy in the world, man.
1441
01:04:37,406 --> 01:04:38,998
You don't have to
be with just her.
1442
01:04:39,075 --> 01:04:40,201
Come to the congregation.
1443
01:04:40,276 --> 01:04:42,210
I've got a few in
the congregation,
1444
01:04:42,278 --> 01:04:43,870
I'm trying to tell you.
Check this out.
1445
01:04:47,650 --> 01:04:48,878
Now, I know she look old.
1446
01:04:48,951 --> 01:04:51,044
I know she... But she a
freak, and she got skills.
1447
01:04:51,120 --> 01:04:52,921
Can we go in
there and just save her?
1448
01:04:53,022 --> 01:04:55,183
Yo! Yo, dawg, you yelling
at me right now?
1449
01:04:55,258 --> 01:04:57,453
I know you just
didn't scream on me, dawg.
1450
01:04:57,560 --> 01:05:00,051
I'm here to
exorcise your bitch, man.
1451
01:05:00,129 --> 01:05:02,359
So you wanna go in the room.
All the way in?
1452
01:05:03,766 --> 01:05:06,030
Look at her hair.
Her hair's all crazy.
1453
01:05:07,103 --> 01:05:08,570
You think I'm scared
right now, but I'm not.
1454
01:05:08,638 --> 01:05:09,696
I didn't think you was scared.
1455
01:05:09,772 --> 01:05:11,205
No, I'm just a little concerned
1456
01:05:11,274 --> 01:05:13,435
that I don't have
the right stuff.
1457
01:05:13,542 --> 01:05:15,271
Do you have,
like, a loaded gun?
1458
01:05:15,444 --> 01:05:16,644
I'll shank this bitch for you.
1459
01:05:20,650 --> 01:05:23,585
It's cold as a motherfucker in here, man.
Y'all ain't got no heat?
1460
01:05:25,288 --> 01:05:27,722
How you doing, crazy bitch?
1461
01:05:27,790 --> 01:05:28,848
Kisha.
1462
01:05:28,925 --> 01:05:31,655
Kisha, I'm Father Doug.
1463
01:05:32,662 --> 01:05:34,960
I'm here to
un-possess you.
1464
01:05:35,331 --> 01:05:37,595
Wait a minute.
She's moving.
1465
01:05:37,667 --> 01:05:41,467
This is some
crazy-ass shit, man.
1466
01:05:41,971 --> 01:05:43,370
Who are you?
1467
01:05:45,007 --> 01:05:47,237
I wasn't expecting her to talk.
1468
01:05:47,310 --> 01:05:48,675
I'm Father Doug.
1469
01:05:48,778 --> 01:05:50,803
Connect the cut.
Connect the cut.
1470
01:05:52,815 --> 01:05:55,283
Connect the cut. Connect the cut.
Connect the cut.
1471
01:05:55,518 --> 01:05:58,453
Oh, oh, that's some of that
Busta Rhymes shit
1472
01:05:58,587 --> 01:05:59,679
she doin' right there.
1473
01:05:59,789 --> 01:06:01,620
She's on that Bus A Bus.
1474
01:06:01,691 --> 01:06:03,921
It's kinda more like Twista, though.
It's real fast.
1475
01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:11,189
Do you know how to
connect the cuts?
1476
01:06:18,207 --> 01:06:20,141
Uh, uh, uh.
1477
01:06:20,343 --> 01:06:22,368
Tic-tac-toe in your face!
1478
01:06:22,478 --> 01:06:24,639
Straight X's,
straight across, diagonal.
1479
01:06:24,714 --> 01:06:26,682
I almost had your
ass the other way.
1480
01:06:26,849 --> 01:06:30,341
Tic-tac-toe on your arm,
connect the cuts.
1481
01:06:30,453 --> 01:06:32,294
That's what she was saying,
"Connect the cuts."
1482
01:06:32,855 --> 01:06:34,948
I wanna show you something.
1483
01:06:38,461 --> 01:06:42,955
"Suck it." That's gangsta!
That's gangsta.
1484
01:06:43,232 --> 01:06:44,529
You wanna see mine?
1485
01:06:44,633 --> 01:06:45,793
It's okay.
I'm gonna show you mine.
1486
01:06:45,868 --> 01:06:50,168
Check this out. I did a little
something a while back.
1487
01:06:50,306 --> 01:06:53,070
I did that in prison.
Yeah, you know,
1488
01:06:53,242 --> 01:06:55,176
it hurt. But, you know,
1489
01:06:55,511 --> 01:06:57,308
you gotta go through it.
You gotta earn it.
1490
01:06:57,546 --> 01:06:59,377
Everybody went crazy.
They was like,
1491
01:06:59,482 --> 01:07:01,347
"No, you didn't!
You so hard, dawg!"
1492
01:07:01,417 --> 01:07:03,317
I had control of
that TV for a month.
1493
01:07:04,620 --> 01:07:07,180
Would you like to
see my paintings?
1494
01:07:08,357 --> 01:07:09,881
Sure. Of course.
1495
01:07:09,992 --> 01:07:13,428
You know, I consider myself
a bit of an art aficionado.
1496
01:07:14,230 --> 01:07:16,630
I think it's going well.
It's going good.
1497
01:07:18,868 --> 01:07:20,062
Mm-hmm.
1498
01:07:20,403 --> 01:07:21,563
If, uh...
1499
01:07:22,338 --> 01:07:24,568
Well, you know, if I can be
perfectly honest with you,
1500
01:07:24,673 --> 01:07:26,004
it's your
technique that's sloppy.
1501
01:07:26,075 --> 01:07:27,372
But that's, you know,
1502
01:07:27,443 --> 01:07:29,809
to be expected from someone
that's possessed.
1503
01:07:37,319 --> 01:07:38,547
Hmm?
1504
01:07:42,158 --> 01:07:44,626
Ah!
1505
01:07:45,628 --> 01:07:47,357
Damn, that made
my breath stink.
1506
01:07:48,130 --> 01:07:49,654
Man, that breath is kickin'!
1507
01:07:50,599 --> 01:07:52,965
I can only imagine
what the kitty smell like.
1508
01:07:53,069 --> 01:07:54,798
Pure evil.
1509
01:07:55,071 --> 01:07:56,470
Goddamn.
1510
01:08:01,410 --> 01:08:03,935
I'm Dan "the Man" Kearney
and today on Ghost Guys
1511
01:08:04,013 --> 01:08:06,072
we're investigating
paranormal activity
1512
01:08:06,148 --> 01:08:08,548
at the Johnson residence
in suburban Los Angeles.
1513
01:08:08,617 --> 01:08:10,380
This is going be
very unsettling.
1514
01:08:10,453 --> 01:08:12,478
Not like those other
fake ghost hunter shows.
1515
01:08:12,555 --> 01:08:13,681
This stuff is real.
1516
01:08:13,756 --> 01:08:17,351
And I don't mean like,
"I saw my dead nana" scary,
1517
01:08:17,426 --> 01:08:21,055
but scary like, "I left a bag
of meth in the glove box
1518
01:08:21,130 --> 01:08:22,570
and I'm getting
pulled up by the cops
1519
01:08:22,598 --> 01:08:24,498
and I got a hot pipe
under the seat."
1520
01:08:24,567 --> 01:08:26,728
That kind of scary.
Let's go inside.
1521
01:08:27,136 --> 01:08:30,196
All right,
on behalf of Ghost Guys,
1522
01:08:30,272 --> 01:08:33,400
the greatest ghost-hunter show
on the Internet or cable access,
1523
01:08:33,476 --> 01:08:35,774
I'd like to thank you for having us.
You've made a good choice.
1524
01:08:35,845 --> 01:08:37,506
You're welcome. Thank you
very much for coming.
1525
01:08:37,580 --> 01:08:39,220
Malcolm, Malcolm,
I'm not sure about this.
1526
01:08:39,248 --> 01:08:43,150
I mean, this guy, sure. But Sling
Blade there, don't trust him.
1527
01:08:43,252 --> 01:08:45,015
You said you needed
ghost hunters right?
1528
01:08:45,087 --> 01:08:47,248
I also said I needed a psychic.
1529
01:08:49,758 --> 01:08:50,918
Chip, hey, what's up?
1530
01:08:50,993 --> 01:08:52,594
What's going on?
What are you doing here?
1531
01:08:52,595 --> 01:08:54,392
I'm a psychic, I sensed
you needed my help.
1532
01:08:54,463 --> 01:08:55,452
I do.
1533
01:08:55,531 --> 01:08:56,555
There's a new person.
1534
01:08:56,632 --> 01:08:58,793
Yeah, that's Bob.
Come on, let's go.
1535
01:08:59,568 --> 01:09:02,503
Hey, there's something different about you.
Something new.
1536
01:09:02,571 --> 01:09:05,267
I can't quite put my finger in you.
On you. On it.
1537
01:09:05,341 --> 01:09:06,330
Haircut.
1538
01:09:06,408 --> 01:09:07,466
Someone's got a secret.
1539
01:09:07,576 --> 01:09:08,907
No, I don't. Come on.
1540
01:09:08,978 --> 01:09:10,240
Hey, guys.
1541
01:09:10,446 --> 01:09:14,280
Gentlemen, what we have
here is a crazy bitch.
1542
01:09:14,583 --> 01:09:16,380
Now, I would leave
her possessed ass
1543
01:09:16,452 --> 01:09:18,386
in the alley downtown
if it was me,
1544
01:09:18,454 --> 01:09:21,617
but apparently, Malcolm's
got a thing for the freak.
1545
01:09:21,724 --> 01:09:22,713
Holy shit.
1546
01:09:22,791 --> 01:09:25,351
So, what you're saying is, there's
an actual demon here in the house?
1547
01:09:25,427 --> 01:09:27,327
It's in the bitch.
1548
01:09:28,230 --> 01:09:30,721
I'm sorry, "ho."
No disrespect.
1549
01:09:30,799 --> 01:09:33,097
"Bitch" is fine.
"Bitch" is fine.
1550
01:09:33,235 --> 01:09:35,260
All right,
this is what I'm getting.
1551
01:09:35,471 --> 01:09:40,773
The entity does not want
to leave this house,
1552
01:09:41,644 --> 01:09:42,736
okay?
1553
01:09:43,712 --> 01:09:46,875
It's struggling to stay inside.
1554
01:09:47,049 --> 01:09:48,983
And Malcolm, I need to know.
1555
01:09:49,151 --> 01:09:52,609
How far are you gonna go
to get this demon out?
1556
01:09:52,922 --> 01:09:54,787
I'll do anything.
1557
01:09:56,225 --> 01:09:57,214
Anything?
1558
01:09:57,326 --> 01:10:00,261
I don't
see how this is gonna help anything.
1559
01:10:00,429 --> 01:10:02,260
This just got weird.
1560
01:10:02,431 --> 01:10:04,365
What is this supposed to do?
1561
01:10:06,202 --> 01:10:10,400
Um... Nothing. I was just trying
to see how far you would go.
1562
01:10:11,540 --> 01:10:12,529
What did I tell you?
1563
01:10:12,608 --> 01:10:13,632
I think she looks fine.
1564
01:10:13,709 --> 01:10:14,903
Clearly does not look fine.
1565
01:10:14,977 --> 01:10:16,968
She looks fucked up.
I'm gonna need my Bible.
1566
01:10:17,079 --> 01:10:18,103
You're gonna bless her?
1567
01:10:18,180 --> 01:10:21,172
Well, yeah, I blessed this joint.
Mm-hmm.
1568
01:10:21,283 --> 01:10:23,774
Right out of the First Chronicles.
1569
01:10:23,953 --> 01:10:28,049
I haven't done many exorcisms, but
I don't think that's appropriate.
1570
01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:32,456
I get it, I get it. I can fix
that, though, right now.
1571
01:10:32,528 --> 01:10:33,722
I got a little something.
1572
01:10:33,796 --> 01:10:35,161
What's going on?
1573
01:10:35,297 --> 01:10:38,232
That's a demon party.
Yeah, look out.
1574
01:10:42,004 --> 01:10:43,596
What is this, 1985?
1575
01:10:43,672 --> 01:10:44,900
Is there just one demon?
1576
01:10:44,974 --> 01:10:47,033
'Cause I feel like we could
exorcise any demons in the area.
1577
01:10:47,109 --> 01:10:49,168
What? I'll take on
a whole team of demons.
1578
01:10:49,245 --> 01:10:50,576
What we should do is get
all the demons in one room
1579
01:10:50,646 --> 01:10:51,670
and get rid of them
all at once.
1580
01:10:51,747 --> 01:10:53,214
Do a collective
demon-gathering.
1581
01:10:53,649 --> 01:10:54,741
We just walk up
to people's doors,
1582
01:10:54,817 --> 01:10:55,875
"How you doing?
How you doing?"
1583
01:10:55,985 --> 01:10:57,077
"Can we talk to you
about the Lord today?"
1584
01:10:57,152 --> 01:10:58,881
"We heard y'all got demons up in there.
What's up?"
1585
01:10:58,954 --> 01:11:00,114
Can I get in
the bed with your girl?
1586
01:11:00,189 --> 01:11:03,056
I used to braid hair. I could
actually braid her hair right now.
1587
01:11:03,225 --> 01:11:05,386
I'll be hitting her with some
Allen Iversons and stuff.
1588
01:11:05,527 --> 01:11:08,155
I'll give her some Sprewells.
I'll take it back.
1589
01:11:08,564 --> 01:11:11,032
Let's do a little exorcism.
1590
01:11:11,233 --> 01:11:13,531
All right, "Blessed is he
1591
01:11:13,702 --> 01:11:17,365
who, in the name of
charity and goodwill,
1592
01:11:18,674 --> 01:11:22,110
shepherds the weak through
the valley of darkness."
1593
01:11:22,311 --> 01:11:26,111
"For he is truly
his brother's keeper
1594
01:11:26,282 --> 01:11:29,115
and the finder
of lost children."
1595
01:11:29,418 --> 01:11:32,910
"And you will know
my name is the Lord
1596
01:11:33,088 --> 01:11:36,319
when I lay my
vengeance upon you!"
1597
01:11:36,592 --> 01:11:39,789
Did you just quote
Sam Jackson in Pulp Fiction?
1598
01:11:42,831 --> 01:11:47,325
You got that. You got me on that.
You got me on that one!
1599
01:11:47,503 --> 01:11:48,834
I love Sam Jackson, dawg.
1600
01:11:49,004 --> 01:11:50,665
The Jheri curl will be
dripping and everything.
1601
01:11:50,773 --> 01:11:52,297
Plus, on the plane movie.
1602
01:11:52,441 --> 01:11:54,409
When he was on the plane
and he killed the snakes.
1603
01:11:54,510 --> 01:11:55,977
That's my favorite movie.
1604
01:11:56,045 --> 01:11:57,876
"Enough is enough!"
1605
01:11:58,047 --> 01:12:01,141
"I have had it with
these motherfucking snakes
1606
01:12:01,317 --> 01:12:02,875
on this
motherfucking plane!"
1607
01:12:02,985 --> 01:12:04,953
Hey, all right! That's
what I'm talking about.
1608
01:12:05,120 --> 01:12:06,451
Guys!
All right, all right!
1609
01:12:06,522 --> 01:12:09,082
Exorcism. That's what
we're here for, right?
1610
01:12:09,725 --> 01:12:12,990
Yes, go back to the thing that
got us here in the first place.
1611
01:12:13,162 --> 01:12:14,720
Where we met.
1612
01:12:14,863 --> 01:12:16,922
My man!
1613
01:12:17,099 --> 01:12:21,593
By the powers vested to me,
1614
01:12:21,770 --> 01:12:24,705
that somebody gave me
while I was locked up,
1615
01:12:24,873 --> 01:12:28,673
from the correctional institution
in Lompoc, that's up north...
1616
01:12:28,844 --> 01:12:33,144
I want the demon that's in you to
come out and holler at a brother.
1617
01:12:33,315 --> 01:12:35,510
Demon, come up
out of Kisha, demon.
1618
01:12:35,951 --> 01:12:37,509
Come out!
Just come out!
1619
01:12:37,686 --> 01:12:38,675
Come up out of Kisha!
1620
01:12:38,754 --> 01:12:39,875
Come up out of there, demon.
1621
01:12:39,888 --> 01:12:42,448
Come out! Come out!
1622
01:12:42,524 --> 01:12:43,513
Come out!
1623
01:12:43,892 --> 01:12:44,881
Come out!
1624
01:12:44,960 --> 01:12:47,895
Hey! I'm not the one
with the demon, she is.
1625
01:12:48,797 --> 01:12:50,697
We all have demons, Malcolm.
1626
01:12:51,834 --> 01:12:53,802
I know what
you did last summer.
1627
01:12:53,969 --> 01:12:55,061
You better not do this.
1628
01:12:57,373 --> 01:12:58,465
Let her go, she's fat.
1629
01:13:00,342 --> 01:13:02,503
Kisha! Kisha!
1630
01:13:03,312 --> 01:13:05,280
Kisha! Oh, my God.
1631
01:13:09,284 --> 01:13:10,546
Kisha?
1632
01:13:12,521 --> 01:13:13,886
Kisha?
1633
01:13:16,658 --> 01:13:18,319
Oh, hey, buddy, you made it.
1634
01:13:18,494 --> 01:13:22,362
Grab a finger sandwich,
they're delish!
1635
01:13:22,531 --> 01:13:24,021
About time you came up in here.
1636
01:13:24,199 --> 01:13:26,633
'Cause there ain't no party
like a mandingo party.
1637
01:13:26,802 --> 01:13:29,362
'Cause a mandingo
party don't stop.
1638
01:13:29,538 --> 01:13:31,836
Drink up, sweetheart.
You need some water?
1639
01:13:31,907 --> 01:13:32,931
Mmm.
You're next, Malcolm.
1640
01:13:33,008 --> 01:13:34,441
Where are you going?
Hey, don't let her down.
1641
01:13:34,510 --> 01:13:35,499
It's her birthday.
1642
01:13:35,611 --> 01:13:36,600
Oh, God.
1643
01:13:36,678 --> 01:13:38,145
Hey, did you find Kisha?
1644
01:13:38,313 --> 01:13:39,507
Uh, no, she's not in there.
1645
01:13:39,581 --> 01:13:40,570
You sure?
What's going on in there?
1646
01:13:40,649 --> 01:13:41,638
Uh, nothing at all.
1647
01:13:41,717 --> 01:13:42,877
Is that a mandingo party?
No.
1648
01:13:42,951 --> 01:13:45,010
Man, I wanna get
my Kunta Kinte on.
1649
01:13:46,588 --> 01:13:47,816
Kisha?
1650
01:13:49,691 --> 01:13:50,919
Kisha?
1651
01:13:53,729 --> 01:13:54,718
Oh, shit!
1652
01:13:54,797 --> 01:13:55,821
Baby?
1653
01:13:57,232 --> 01:13:59,325
Oh, my God!
What did you do?
1654
01:13:59,401 --> 01:14:00,959
Shit, I did you a favor.
1655
01:14:02,337 --> 01:14:04,669
Oh, my God!
Oh, my God, Rosa!
1656
01:14:04,840 --> 01:14:06,899
I just wanted my
last check, Malcolm.
1657
01:14:07,075 --> 01:14:08,906
Oh, my God,
you shot my housekeeper.
1658
01:14:08,977 --> 01:14:10,444
You mean,
your ex-housekeeper.
1659
01:14:10,512 --> 01:14:12,912
Look, man, the bitch can't be
jumping out on me like that.
1660
01:14:12,981 --> 01:14:14,846
You ain't gonna tell nobody, right?
I got warrants.
1661
01:14:14,917 --> 01:14:16,282
Hurry, she's in here.
1662
01:14:16,351 --> 01:14:17,909
Come on, guys.
1663
01:14:18,086 --> 01:14:19,246
Kisha!
1664
01:14:19,321 --> 01:14:21,289
We got her cornered.
Baby.
1665
01:14:21,423 --> 01:14:23,084
Father, do something.
Oh, my God!
1666
01:14:25,828 --> 01:14:27,557
Man, that demon is a freak.
1667
01:14:27,729 --> 01:14:29,720
Yeah, the crazy ones
always got the best pussy.
1668
01:14:29,832 --> 01:14:32,130
The moon landing was fake.
1669
01:14:32,201 --> 01:14:33,225
What?
1670
01:14:33,435 --> 01:14:35,869
Biggie and Tupac
1671
01:14:36,038 --> 01:14:37,835
are alive.
1672
01:14:38,407 --> 01:14:41,467
Paul Ryan will be
the next president.
1673
01:14:41,610 --> 01:14:43,407
The demon lies.
1674
01:14:43,579 --> 01:14:44,807
Well, except for
the thing about Tupac.
1675
01:14:44,913 --> 01:14:46,141
He is alive. He's got a
new album coming out.
1676
01:14:46,248 --> 01:14:47,579
What the fuck is going on here?
1677
01:14:47,649 --> 01:14:49,640
There's an exorcism
happening, people!
1678
01:14:52,554 --> 01:14:54,613
The power of Christ compels you.
1679
01:14:54,690 --> 01:14:56,715
The power of
Christ compels you.
1680
01:14:56,892 --> 01:14:58,154
What is that, holy water?
1681
01:14:58,260 --> 01:15:01,923
No, it's a new cologne from
Khloe and Lamar. It's unisex.
1682
01:15:02,097 --> 01:15:03,724
I can smell Lamar.
1683
01:15:03,899 --> 01:15:05,332
Get her!
1684
01:15:06,735 --> 01:15:08,430
Baby!
1685
01:15:09,838 --> 01:15:12,102
Oh! She knows some of
that Spider-Man shit!
1686
01:15:14,610 --> 01:15:15,804
Oh, my God!
1687
01:15:15,944 --> 01:15:17,172
It's got me!
1688
01:15:17,346 --> 01:15:19,211
Chip!
I'm afraid of the dark.
1689
01:15:19,381 --> 01:15:21,042
Why do have your
hand on my balls?
1690
01:15:21,216 --> 01:15:23,446
I'm protecting
them from spirits.
1691
01:15:23,619 --> 01:15:24,847
Get off of me!
1692
01:15:25,020 --> 01:15:26,419
There she is!
1693
01:15:26,622 --> 01:15:27,782
She's going to the basement.
1694
01:15:27,856 --> 01:15:31,553
Bobby? Oh, my God!
Bobby, my brother's gone!
1695
01:15:31,693 --> 01:15:32,921
Oh, my God! Let's go!
1696
01:15:33,061 --> 01:15:34,358
- Bobby?
- Bobby?
1697
01:15:34,429 --> 01:15:35,453
Bobby?
1698
01:15:35,531 --> 01:15:37,396
This is dark. I
don't wanna go down here.
1699
01:15:37,499 --> 01:15:40,297
Kisha! Look at
all these weird markings.
1700
01:15:40,402 --> 01:15:42,029
Kisha was here.
She has a sign.
1701
01:15:42,271 --> 01:15:43,761
Bobby!
1702
01:15:45,207 --> 01:15:47,505
Oh, my God! She got Bobby!
1703
01:15:48,844 --> 01:15:50,869
Actually, that's
just Bobby taking a pee.
1704
01:15:51,046 --> 01:15:52,411
What?
1705
01:15:53,048 --> 01:15:54,572
Oh, come on, that's gross.
1706
01:15:54,750 --> 01:15:56,081
Kisha!
Kisha.
1707
01:15:56,251 --> 01:15:57,946
Kisha.
Show yourself.
1708
01:15:58,186 --> 01:16:00,416
Baby? Come on,
you gotta stay close.
1709
01:16:00,589 --> 01:16:03,217
What is this, a Shake
Weight and a Thighmaster?
1710
01:16:03,392 --> 01:16:04,416
Nice.
1711
01:16:04,493 --> 01:16:05,755
Back the train up.
You got a Flowbee?
1712
01:16:05,928 --> 01:16:07,968
Hey, it all looks good
at 2:00 in the morning, okay?
1713
01:16:08,063 --> 01:16:10,088
Hey, look, Malcolm,
one's white and one's black.
1714
01:16:10,265 --> 01:16:11,596
- Guess which one you are.
- Black one.
1715
01:16:11,767 --> 01:16:14,861
What the hell? Can we just
go find my girl, please?
1716
01:16:14,937 --> 01:16:15,926
Thank you.
1717
01:16:17,573 --> 01:16:19,006
Kisha!
Bobby!
1718
01:16:19,174 --> 01:16:21,165
Would you shut the fuck up?
What are you doing?
1719
01:16:21,343 --> 01:16:22,901
Come on.
1720
01:16:23,946 --> 01:16:25,743
Go, go, go.
1721
01:16:28,383 --> 01:16:29,611
What was that?
1722
01:16:31,620 --> 01:16:33,087
Christ, that bitch is scary.
1723
01:16:33,555 --> 01:16:34,817
I dropped the camera!
1724
01:16:35,791 --> 01:16:37,224
Fellas?
1725
01:16:40,062 --> 01:16:41,256
Kisha.
1726
01:16:51,640 --> 01:16:55,041
Malcolm? Malcolm?
1727
01:16:56,712 --> 01:17:01,081
It's me, Chip the Psychic.
Malcolm?
1728
01:17:03,719 --> 01:17:05,209
It's me, Chip.
1729
01:17:05,420 --> 01:17:06,478
Yoo-hoo.
1730
01:17:09,124 --> 01:17:12,423
Okay, I found the camera.
What are you guys doing?
1731
01:17:12,527 --> 01:17:13,619
This shit is real, son.
1732
01:17:13,695 --> 01:17:14,753
Yeah.
1733
01:17:14,896 --> 01:17:16,591
Chip, why are you naked?
1734
01:17:16,765 --> 01:17:18,289
What the hell?
Hey!
1735
01:17:18,467 --> 01:17:20,435
It got really hot in here.
1736
01:17:20,602 --> 01:17:22,866
Oh, no. Where's Bobby?
1737
01:17:25,073 --> 01:17:26,301
Found my Walkman.
1738
01:17:27,509 --> 01:17:30,603
Kisha? Baby, are you okay?
1739
01:17:30,746 --> 01:17:32,077
Leave her alone.
Don't touch her.
1740
01:17:32,147 --> 01:17:33,375
Why?
1741
01:17:33,482 --> 01:17:35,006
'Cause she's like
that witch in Left 4 Dead
1742
01:17:35,083 --> 01:17:36,603
sitting in the corner
crying like that.
1743
01:17:36,652 --> 01:17:38,313
You touch her,
she gonna attack your ass.
1744
01:17:38,387 --> 01:17:39,979
I can't just leave her, man.
1745
01:17:40,088 --> 01:17:43,455
Kisha? Baby?
It'll be okay, all right?
1746
01:17:47,062 --> 01:17:49,087
Get off my man, bitch!
1747
01:17:51,433 --> 01:17:53,993
You wanna fight?
Take that, demon!
1748
01:17:54,836 --> 01:17:56,167
Elbow smash!
1749
01:17:56,405 --> 01:17:57,429
Ooh!
1750
01:17:57,973 --> 01:17:59,463
Harder!
Beast!
1751
01:18:00,909 --> 01:18:02,069
Take that, demon!
1752
01:18:02,377 --> 01:18:03,935
Fucking bitch, take that.
1753
01:18:05,480 --> 01:18:06,601
That demon can take a punch.
1754
01:18:06,615 --> 01:18:07,639
That's enough.
1755
01:18:08,417 --> 01:18:09,884
- Baby?
- Malcolm.
1756
01:18:10,052 --> 01:18:12,111
I think she's okay.
Maybe not!
1757
01:18:14,623 --> 01:18:15,988
I won't tell on you,
you don't tell on me.
1758
01:18:16,158 --> 01:18:17,147
Understand me?
1759
01:18:17,225 --> 01:18:18,317
You weren't here,
I wasn't here.
1760
01:18:18,427 --> 01:18:19,587
I'll take the blame.
I'll take the blame.
1761
01:18:19,661 --> 01:18:21,720
Okay, good. Hey!
1762
01:18:21,797 --> 01:18:23,230
Man, put some clothes on!
1763
01:18:35,610 --> 01:18:36,975
Hey.
Hey.
1764
01:18:37,145 --> 01:18:39,613
You know what? This Angry
Birds is kind of fun.
1765
01:18:39,781 --> 01:18:41,408
I told you.
I like it.
1766
01:18:41,583 --> 01:18:43,210
Look at you looking all pretty.
1767
01:18:43,385 --> 01:18:46,786
Oh, this? It's just a little
something I put on for my man.
1768
01:18:46,955 --> 01:18:48,286
Oh, lucky him.
1769
01:18:48,490 --> 01:18:49,923
Oh. Ow...
1770
01:18:49,991 --> 01:18:51,458
Malcolm.
What? What? What?
1771
01:18:51,626 --> 01:18:53,253
My ribs are
still a little sore.
1772
01:18:53,428 --> 01:18:56,295
I'm sorry. We did beat the
hell out of you, girl.
1773
01:18:56,465 --> 01:18:58,465
We was just trying to get the demon out.
I'm sorry.
1774
01:18:58,500 --> 01:19:02,061
No, I'm sorry for bringing
that thing into your house.
1775
01:19:02,237 --> 01:19:03,898
Our house.
1776
01:19:04,506 --> 01:19:05,598
Mmm!
1777
01:19:07,509 --> 01:19:10,808
Malcolm? Is the camera on?
Mm-hmm?
1778
01:19:14,416 --> 01:19:15,610
Fine.
1779
01:19:16,151 --> 01:19:17,243
Good.
1780
01:19:19,654 --> 01:19:20,985
Come here.
1781
01:19:22,991 --> 01:19:25,516
Take like
that, take it like that.
1782
01:19:25,694 --> 01:19:27,457
Oh, my God, I hit the bottom.
1783
01:19:27,629 --> 01:19:30,189
Oh, yeah, take that.
Who's your dirty daddy?
1784
01:19:35,303 --> 01:19:36,827
Oh, God.
1785
01:19:37,005 --> 01:19:39,269
I got a cramp.
Don't touch it.
1786
01:20:25,554 --> 01:20:28,455
Malcolm!
1787
01:20:28,623 --> 01:20:31,251
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I'm coming.
1788
01:20:31,426 --> 01:20:32,586
Shit.
1789
01:20:37,032 --> 01:20:39,262
Malcolm!
1790
01:20:39,434 --> 01:20:42,198
I heard you the first time.
Damn.
1791
01:21:16,938 --> 01:21:18,428
She's gone.
1792
01:21:22,043 --> 01:21:24,637
Yeah, baby, I lived!
I lived.
1793
01:21:24,813 --> 01:21:26,940
In your face.
In your face!
1794
01:21:27,115 --> 01:21:28,810
You thought you'd move
into my house and kill me?
1795
01:21:28,984 --> 01:21:30,178
What?
1796
01:21:32,988 --> 01:21:34,717
She's right behind me,
isn't she?
1797
01:23:21,730 --> 01:23:22,856
Oh, yeah.
1798
01:23:23,031 --> 01:23:25,761
We gonna need a wide angle for
some of these aerial tricks.
1799
01:23:25,934 --> 01:23:28,198
All right, I call
this one "The Superman."
1800
01:23:29,571 --> 01:23:33,007
Pile driver! Take that.
Take that.
1801
01:23:33,308 --> 01:23:34,570
Oh! Oh!
1802
01:23:36,978 --> 01:23:39,071
Can I get you
something to drink, Father?
1803
01:23:39,681 --> 01:23:41,581
Yeah, Hennessy, straight.
1804
01:23:41,750 --> 01:23:43,650
Oh, you got Hpnotiq?
I like to mix them.
1805
01:23:44,252 --> 01:23:46,117
Uh, I was talking about water.
1806
01:23:46,354 --> 01:23:49,551
Water? I don't drink that bullshit.
What the fuck?
1807
01:23:49,724 --> 01:23:51,658
Yeah, my show is gonna be huge.
1808
01:23:51,993 --> 01:23:54,860
I'm gonna get my house back.
I'm gonna get a girlfriend.
1809
01:23:55,030 --> 01:23:56,327
I'm gonna be successful.
1810
01:23:56,398 --> 01:24:00,562
Did you just hope
and dream out loud?
1811
01:24:02,037 --> 01:24:04,528
All hopes and dreams are out loud.
That's the camera show.
1812
01:24:05,140 --> 01:24:07,836
Oh, this is called "68,"
and I owe you one.
1813
01:24:08,043 --> 01:24:11,240
You're crazy, girl.
Yeah, I'll fart in your face.
1814
01:24:12,013 --> 01:24:15,107
Take that.
Now we gonna make some love.
1815
01:24:15,283 --> 01:24:16,580
But I ain't gonna
kiss you on your mouth
1816
01:24:16,651 --> 01:24:18,312
'cause I just
farted in your face.
1817
01:24:18,420 --> 01:24:21,685
Here's the thing. A lot of
people think penises are scary.
1818
01:24:21,823 --> 01:24:25,122
They're not, unless it has a gun.
Then that's horrifying.
1819
01:24:25,293 --> 01:24:28,285
90% of penises
don't carry a gun.
1820
01:24:28,463 --> 01:24:30,454
Oh, my God. What?
1821
01:24:30,532 --> 01:24:31,521
That's a fact.
1822
01:24:31,800 --> 01:24:33,665
But I'm gonna tell you
this, don't ever,
1823
01:24:33,735 --> 01:24:35,532
ever let a man put
his hands on you.
1824
01:24:35,703 --> 01:24:37,933
Unless he
paying the bills. Aah!
1825
01:24:38,006 --> 01:24:39,837
Domestic violence is amazing.
1826
01:24:42,777 --> 01:24:45,007
Gonna burn me.
1827
01:24:49,317 --> 01:24:52,718
I'm sorry. Shh. Shh.
Take it.
1828
01:24:53,288 --> 01:24:54,550
Ooh.
1829
01:24:55,857 --> 01:24:57,119
Ooh!
1830
01:24:57,192 --> 01:25:00,787
This is one bad
picture right here, nigger.
1831
01:25:00,862 --> 01:25:04,229
This a fine motherfucker right here, boy.
This is dope.
1832
01:25:04,299 --> 01:25:05,539
You know what I'd do with this?
1833
01:25:05,600 --> 01:25:07,431
Do you know what
I'd do with this?
1834
01:25:07,502 --> 01:25:10,471
All this area, all this
carpet, this ottoman,
1835
01:25:10,572 --> 01:25:11,664
I'd be all over it.
1836
01:25:11,840 --> 01:25:13,205
What are these?
1837
01:25:13,441 --> 01:25:15,170
Those are my boxers.
1838
01:25:15,343 --> 01:25:16,742
Fascinating.
1839
01:25:17,011 --> 01:25:18,740
Oh, yes.
1840
01:25:19,013 --> 01:25:21,709
His methods are so unorthodox.
1841
01:25:21,883 --> 01:25:23,851
That's my girlfriend.
1842
01:25:24,052 --> 01:25:25,781
Ah...
Kisha.
1843
01:25:25,887 --> 01:25:28,720
That's a crazy bitch name all day.
You can google it.
1844
01:25:28,823 --> 01:25:32,987
Top five crazy bitch names.
Kisha, Alisha, Djuana.
1845
01:25:33,161 --> 01:25:36,130
You say that out loud, and
you're already scared, right?
1846
01:25:36,264 --> 01:25:37,663
Are you done?
1847
01:25:37,799 --> 01:25:39,562
Let's go.
Let's go save the bitch.129915
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