Original subtitles

Nestled in the heart of the Rhondda Valley is an Indian empire.

There's a corner shop...

Nice coconut rings with your tea today, is it?

..a 35-bed hotel...

Hold it, one hand!

..and a family events business...

FEEDBACK

..run by Wedding Guru Onkar Singh Purewal...

Give me five, give me five.

..and dad Dev, known locally as Dave.

I don't want anybody coming in here. I know, I'll tell them.

So you hold them.

But this father and son team...

..have a somewhat spicy relationship.

You listen to me, I'm your father.

I just don't like you in meetings. Honestly!

Ladies and gentlemen...

Onkar's been a part-time wedding planner for almost 20 years,

and he's seen it all.

Sorry, just trying to find the priest. He's gone...

Oh, there he is.

What's happened?

He brings his unique brand of catering and personal attention...

Would someone tell him to please shut up?

We need to get this food on.

..to every last detail...

See how BLEEP expensive this BLEEP is?

..to ensure every big day...

Sharon, guard this with your life!

He said it's going to topple - it's happened!

..goes without a hitch.

http://Scene-RLS.net

Onkar's dream is to make it big in the wedding business,

whatever it takes.

The name's Guru - Wedding Guru!

Toppshop on Brynna high street, near Bridgend, is open for business.

I fucking hate this.

Onkar's party to celebrate the Punjabi New Year

was a big success, and wedding bookings are starting to trickle in.

You haven't got a Pepsi Max?

Nope. Why?

Because I sold it, Dad, and you did stock-take yesterday.

Who's in charge of purchasing?

We have to do everything here.

Oh, he has to do everything, yes. He does.

Do you have to open the shop?

Eight o'clock in the morning? Do you close in the night?

Do you mop? I go to cash-and-carry.

You do? Do you put it out on the shelves, like, for two hours?

Building up the wedding business has to play second fiddle to the

more pressing joys of shopkeeping.

You're sitting here, you've got empty Coke here,

you've got empty Pepsi here. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right?

You've got a case in the back. Yeah, all ready here. Yeah.

So what are you doing all day and this morning?

HE IMITATES DEV

Fuck me, he does my head in, man.

Comes in and goes, "Why's this not out, that's not out?"

Because I'm planning a wedding, Dad!

I can't worry about fucking salt and vinegar Walkers crisps!

You know what I'm saying?

Every day.

Onkar's wedding planning business has been in real jeopardy,

but a Muslim wedding for 230 guests could turn things around for him

and show his dad what this Guru's really made of.

19, 20, 21, 22, 23...

Oh, for fuck's sake. One, two, three, four...

If I had a choice, I wouldn't give him a job in the shop.

He's bloody hopeless.

You see?

20 miles away from Onkar in Cardiff Bay, bride-to-be Fahima,

with chief bridesmaid and big sister Suma, are preparing for the big day.

Are you wearing this on the wedding? Yes. Ahh.

Do you like it? Yeah.

Right, let me empty the bed.

Wedding plans are still being finalised by phone.

He tried this on, it's nice.

This is an arranged marriage,

so Fahima and fiance Hassan have only met a handful of times.

So far, I've been getting good feelings, you know, from it.

And slowly I just felt like it was the right thing to do.

It made my life easier, in terms of having to find someone.

Suma's got a masterplan for Fahima's wedding.

I discovered something new the other day.

They both grew up watching Teletubbies.

We're the same age.

And so, no lie, I want to...

A piano version of Teletubbies.

But the family are really upset.

She'll just, like, stand, and then just go...

Dun-dun dun-dun-dun!

It's fair to say that Suma's very excited.

Teletubbies may be wishful thinking,

but they're both at least agreed on the dress.

So, this is the top, the dress.

And then it has, like, a skirt underneath.

Yeah, this is how the whole piece looks when it's on.

Went to London with the family and we tried a few shops,

and my friend got married last year, she got her dress from there.

So she recommended it to me. And I went in there,

and that was the first thing I tried on and I loved it.

And it fit me.

So I didn't need to get it altered or anything.

I got it for a really good price. Yeah, we got a good bargain on it.

I think it's a good bargain,

but how often do we go out and buy wedding dresses? That's true.

We don't actually know how much it is.

We like to think we've got a bargain,

because it makes us happier.

It's an Asian thing. We just love it.

"Yeah, I got more for my money."

THEY LAUGH

Back in the Valleys, Onkar's on a PR mission to big-up the family

businesses by catering at the biggest event Brynna's ever seen.

So, today, we're going to be serving food at a carnival.

And then all the profits that we're doing's going to go back to

Brynna Primary School, who are the ones who are organising it.

So, we want to do something for the community.

At the family hotel, uncle Gurmeet

and dad Dev are already cooking up the perfect carnival curry.

So, we're making chicken curry with rice and vegetable samosas.

They said there were going to be a couple of thousand people there.

So I think we can serve maybe 300 people or something?

Just here, Mel, like that? I guess so.

Onkar's got his crack team setting up the carnival store,

ready to do a roaring trade.

You're the customer. Right.

So, curry, rice, you get a staff discount. Free?

Free, OK, it's free.

There, there. You come down here, samosa.

Dave's there, arguing with Mark. "Hurry up and get the curry."

And then arguing with my uncle.

I'm staying round the corner, letting them deal with that.

You know how Dave is. What are you doing?

And then I'm taking the money.

So, Brynna Carnival is basically the school get-together,

and they come in, they do all songs, they perform for the community,

and the whole community joins us.

Everybody comes down, they make a really big day of it.

It's a really lovely, tight-knit community.

And this is just testament to that,

because everybody comes down, everybody joins in.

I told Onkar, bring everything down, it's amazing.

So, it's really good that they're down here now.

Everybody can meet them, get to know the people behind the shop.

This is for me? Yeah.

Nice one? The bigger one.

Bloody hell, this is...

LAUGHTER

What the hell is this?

What have you got such a big head for, man?

Good afternoon, everyone,

welcome to Brynna Community Carnival.

Though Dev's not convinced about all the fuss,

he knows how important it is to get the locals on board.

Everybody coming, chicken curry and rice here.

Chicken curry twice, is it? Yes?

While Dev serves up a feast... Hi, there.

..Onkar's gone into salesman mode.

Toppshop, we're based from the curry stand over in the corner.

But defining exactly what he's trying to sell...

It's not too spicy, is it? No, it's fine.

..is no easy task.

And if you need some booze later, we've got

some good deals up there, anyway.

Onkar's brimming with big ideas to expand the Purewal empire,

but to go full throttle, he needs his dad to take more of a backseat.

I said it two years ago,

"Oh, we should do carnival food and all that."

He said, "No, no, stick to that."

Actually, I'm enjoying myself today.

I think we should do it more often.

Then he comes over to me, going, "That's good money, you know."

Fuck, I've been telling you for years.

There you go, madam. Thank you. Thank you very much.

It's been a long time coming,

but today feels like one small victory for Onkar.

I'm really enjoying myself.

We'll do more, we'll definitely be doing more.

Central Cardiff.

The Wedding Guru is suited and booted

for a planning meeting with his priority client.

In less than a week, he'll have to transform

the Temple of Peace into a temple of love

for Fahima and Hassan's big day.

But for this wedding, big sister Suma is running the show,

landing Onkar with an additional layer of stress.

The bride is clever, if you think about it.

The bride is letting someone else do it and they're just chilling,

it's quite clever, I think. They put it all on me, you know what I mean?

It's like I'm losing my shit, man.

But she's running late.

Really late.

When it's work and it's my team, I hate when they're late.

But with the clients, what can you do? You can't say...

You can't. That's just rude, isn't it?

I'm doing a new philosophy lately, stoicism.

Control what you can control,

but don't stress about what you can't control.

So I can't control their time. So, what am I going to do?

I can't stress about it. So that's really...

I'm trying to get zen, you know?

I'm like I'm Stressed Eric.

I'm trying to get some zen, man. Trying to get some zen.

Suma, it's OK, don't worry.

You come when you can, OK? Don't worry.

We'll get there.

Ever professional Onkar puts his wait to good use,

by working out how he'll seat all the guests in an unfamiliar venue.

I hate surprises. And it happens,

but not the things you should have sorted.

I'm more than the average person, so that's fine. So that's fine. OK.

I can't come in with a Lazy Susan and then basically say,

"Oh, it doesn't fit." Well, you should have fucking checked, innit?

That's perfect. Then we can use this as a surplus.

Almost an hour late, Suma's here at last.

Boo! How are you?

What's happening? Are you OK? I'm so sorry I'm late.

Don't worry, don't stress, man.

The two need to get straight down to business.

Fitting 230 guests into this space will be a squeeze,

and it's not long before Suma puts Onkar's seating plan to the test.

We're going to stick 14 seats in the front, here.

It'll be a bit tight, though, yeah? Not really tight.

It's not going to be... So how we're going to do it is...

What are we doing with this space here? Is this all empty?

This is the thing. We'll stick some chairs there.

We'll stick some chairs. OK. How big is this? These are five foot.

Yeah, but you need to stick the chair there.

Will it not fit between here?

But then you've got the two chairs on the sides. Oh, right.

Know what I mean? So you're losing...?

You're losing two chairs. And if you did that, what?

One, two, three, four - you lose 16. It is quite a few, yeah.

Onkar's won that battle,

but as they move on to timings, it seems Suma's invitations

might be at odds with Onkar's precision planning.

Doors open 1:00. Hmm. OK?

Have you got that on your...? No.

Oh, yeah, on the card? Did you see the card?

No, I haven't seen the card. Oh, yeah, you have to send the card.

Don't put it at 2:00! I probably did.

You put it at 2:00?

I don't even remember. Wait.

It was supposed to be one o'clock.

Wait, let me check.

Oh, so we put 1:45.

One o'clock, she told me. One o'clock.

1:45.

People say, "It's only 45 minutes."

In the game of events, that's a fucking eternity!

Drinks. Oh, yes!

I know. That's the biggest thing I need to know.

I need you to tell me how many bottles of what I need to get.

I've never worked with a wedding planner,

and we've had, what, one, two, three weddings?

So I'll see.

It'll either be, like, "Oh, my God,

"how could people have weddings with no wedding planners?"

Or it'll be like, "Oh, yeah, don't bother,

"because they're a waste of time."

People think, weddings, "Oh, weddings, just happens, like that.

"Yeah. I could do a wedding."

People say to me, "I want to be a wedding planner." Yeah, fucking...

Honestly, if you want to be a wedding planner, you can

kiss your weekends goodbye. Which is fine.

"Oh, I did my sister's wedding, so I could do it."

You know what I mean? "I'm a fully fledged wedding planner."

Fucking... You're not!

Suma's interventions have sent Onkar's stress levels

into overdrive.

He's called a team meeting back at the family hotel to make sure

everyone is fully briefed for the big day.

And Onkar needs everyone to know he's in charge.

Can we let you know, I am the chair of this meeting, please, Dad, yeah?

So I will ask for information, and we'll go from there, OK?

Don't take it personally. I'm just saying. Is that all right?

Not really. It is, you've got no choice, really, OK? So...

Oh, I'm starving. OK?

Because I'm the boss, I can do what I want, OK?

Give me a second. Just here.

OK.

The 23rd is something new, because we're doing a new venue.

So we need to go for bit by bit by bit, OK?

The starters are going to be going from two o'clock.

Two o'clock starter.

So you're looking at half an hour to 40 minutes, from two o'clock,

to 2:40, yeah? I don't want to know how long they take to eat.

I know, I'm giving you a rough idea. I just... Give me the time to...

What I'm saying to you is between two o'clock and 3:15...

Onkar's trying to keep his cool, but a power battle is brewing.

Can you write that down? You're making too much confusion.

I'm not making confusion! Just wait. You are! I haven't finished!

At the end, you can ask me questions.

Like a bloody university lecturer or something, isn't it?

And if there's one person guaranteed to stress him out, it's Dev.

You listen to me, I'm your father...

Yeah, I'm the boss. We're not at home.

We're not going over the same thing. I'm the boss for today.

Now I'm boss, OK? Listen. Listen, you're in the kitchen.

OK, listen to me now.

Two o'clock your starters start, exactly? Yeah.

OK. So what time are you leaving the kitchen?

I'm not telling you when I'm leaving. I'm saying I need to know.

You need to leave by one o'clock, then.

Now I'm breaking it... Oh, come on. Dad!

I'm breaking it down that you have to leave by one o'clock!

You're talking like... I'm not talking...

Dad, it's simple things! No, you're not talking simple things.

You're talking nonsense. 1:00, you finish cooking the food.

I just don't like you in meetings. Honestly!

Literally, the kitchen...

LAUGHTER

No, no, don't stress...

ALL TALK OVER EACH OTHER

He knows I stress.

This is a simple itinerary, yeah?

A simple itinerary, and I've got to deal with egos. Keep your hair on.

I've got no hair left! Exactly.

That's your plan? That's nothing to do with the food.

You're a cheeky shit, you are.

You know, he goes stressed and makes other people stressed.

Yeah. You don't want to get in his way when he's like that then.

Something he believes in, he wants to make sure it gets done properly.

Pay close attention to your feelings...

After locking horns with his dad,

Onkar's sought some professional relaxation advice.

Settle back as comfortably as you can.

But with less than 48 hours until the wedding,

he's possibly a little TOO relaxed.

Shut up, you. I'm going to sleep.

Best he puts his feet up now.

Cometh the hour, there'll be no time to rest.

SNORING

Showtime - Onkar's up and at it early.

All kitchen stuff go into there. Gel boards into here.

In four hours' time, this place will need to be transformed into the

classy, beautiful venue the bride and big sister Suma are expecting.

But the Wedding Guru has been struck down by a debilitating condition.

My God, I've got the worst man flu of all time.

Man flus exist, you know. It does exist.

I don't care what anyone says. It hits men hard.

No, don't do it that way, don't do it that way! No, no!

Fuck's sake! No, no, bro!

I know, the lid's come off. Oh, God. You've got it everywhere! I know.

You go too hyper. I know, I know, I know. That's it. That's fine.

Fuck's sake.

They all need to be picked up, Mark.

The furniture and decor team are already working hard,

but Onkar's waiting staff are still nowhere to be seen.

Fuck's sake, where are you?

I've been trying to ring you. Where are you?

All right. Just come and see me first.

To complicate the situation, there is no kitchen at the venue, so

Dev's had to cook the food back at the family hotel, 30 minutes away.

You got fish pakora?

According to the plan, it'll get driven to

the venue in plenty of time to be plated up and served.

But Dev's got a bit of a reputation for being late.

All Onkar can do is be as prepped as he possibly can

and try to keep his cool.

It's Onkar. What's up now?

Something I need to ask...

HE SIGHS

Just deal with that.

They clash, that's what they do. Because they're so much alike.

They are so much alike, and they both think they're in the right,

when half the time neither of them are.

They love each other, that's the main thing.

It's just family. You can't work with them. It kills you off.

Is that too tight? It's because you put a chunk together.

You're meant to put them in like this. Ah, OK. Go on, then.

In Cardiff Bay, the wedding outfits, make-up

and jewellery are nearly complete.

I just can't wait now to go to the hall, get it over and done with.

But Suma can't help

but keep a close eye on what's happening at the wedding venue.

Oi, Onkar! Show me the stage, please. OK.

Is he going to drape that? Yeah, they're draping it. Brill. Brill.

Amazing. Amazing.

Oh, Onkar? Yeah.

I've got some... You know the chocolates that go on the table?

Yeah, bring those, I can put them on the napkins.

Yeah, I'll tell my husband to find you, then, yeah?

Yeah, yeah. OK, because it's in his boot.

I feel good now that my make-up's on.

Almost ready, just need my scarf.

Just make sure the Port Talbot people sit with

the Port Talbot people.

Just make sure everyone is sitting with who they're comfortable,

and make sure that no seats go empty.

Everyone has... All the seats have to be used, yeah? Beautiful.

Back at the Temple of Peace,

the finishing touches are being put in place.

It's going to be a very good wedding, this.

Hunky-dory.

But Onkar's still battling man flu

and struggling to keep on top of things.

OK. What was I doing? I've got the wrong fucking shoes.

I've just realised I've got the wrong shoes.

OK. Does my hair look all right? Yeah. Don't take the piss now.

Hamid's your guy, OK? You're going to do a crack...

You're going to do a cracking job, not a crap job, I didn't say that.

Oh, listen. You need to wear a hat, please.

Are you having a laugh? Net! Put it on! You have to.

Never stopped me before. No slippage of standards, OK?

Yeah, standards, you're right.

It's 1:45, and finally the doors are open

for the groom to make his arrival.

But there's no sign of the food to feed the 230 guests,

and Onkar's stress levels are once more on the rise.

Yeah? You on the way?

So you're going to be here in ten minutes?

OK. Please make ten minutes now, because it's gathering up now.

We're ready to... Going to be going. OK, please. Bye.

After prayers and blessings,

the groom is welcomed with gifts of sweet dates from the bride's family.

But now the guests are seated, they're hungry and impatient -

a bad combination.

Yeah, yeah, we're getting prepped now,

so about five, ten minutes, it'll start coming up.

Fuck's sake.

The food is now over 30 minutes late.

HE SIGHS

Keep coming!

That'll do, side. You can bring everything from the side. Quick!

I need the chicken tikka first.

And there's nothing like a sense of urgency, is there, Dev?

OK. Ready? Come on. Come on, boys. Presentation.

I want the presentation right.

They're now running an hour late.

Can I have four spoons, please? Nice and hot.

The food can't come out fast enough. Come with me.

Guests are complaining,

and an overheated Onkar is right in the line of fire.

Let me direct it, please, yeah?

Let them do it, OK? No problem.

I will co-ordinate it now, yeah? You relax, relax. No worries.

Sit, sit.

This is my job.

With all the panic over the food,

it seems like everyone has forgotten that other wedding essential -

the bride.

Go to the back, yeah? Hamid. Go to Hamid.

The bridal party has arrived on time,

but the guests are still eating the pre-wedding buffet.

To the lady on the left-hand side.

It's all getting a bit crowded.

Sorry, sorry, sorry. Sorry.

Right next to her.

How do you do this for a living?

I don't know how either.

The bride mustn't get a glimpse of her groom just yet, so Onkar ushers

her into a side room to wait as he tries to get things back on track.

I don't know how long I have to wait,

but I'm becoming impatient in here now.

I just want to go to the hall, enjoy the party and have some food.

I think we're going to go on the stage and have more pictures

and do the ring exchange, and we're going to exchange garlands

and things like that, and then the families get together, take photos,

have the cake moment, cutting the cake, and then that's it, then.

Fahima might be in for a long wait for cake.

The main course is still leaving the kitchen,

but some guests are already on the hunt for seconds.

Yeah, we will come with refills now.

Haji, Haji, please. We'll sort it, we'll do it.

No, no. No, no. There is a system when people come in.

The plate is empty. We need more rice. Some of them need refills.

I know. As soon as I know it's all done then we'll go on to it,

but give me a second. Some of the tables need refills. OK.

Chief bridesmaid Suma decides it's time to take matters

into her own hands.

Onkar? Yeah. You know table one, where my father is?

He's kicking off. There's not enough food in the little plates.

So, right to the top, by the... They need, like, double portions.

Yeah. Sorry, sorry.

Meanwhile, bride Fahima's got no option but to wait.

And wait.

Two minutes, please. Just tell Onkar, he will get it for you, OK?

Onkar, give him two rice and one chicken, please. A chicken?

I'm doing that for you now.

With Suma and her guests serving themselves from the kitchen,

even Dev is getting stressed out. I don't want anybody coming in here.

I know, I'll tell them now. So you hold them.

Before it teeters into complete chaos, Onkar is saved by the bride.

Ladies and gentlemen, can you please take your seats, please?

After waiting for two hours in a side room,

Fahima has decided the time has come to make her entrance.

A nervous groom can finally meet his bride.

Can you sit down? Sit down.

The bride's coming through, can you please sit down? Yeah?

Could you take your seats?

MUSIC PLAYS

It's not the Teletubbies theme tune, but finally Fahima

and Hassan can exchange their vows and start to enjoy their big day,

together.

Well, it was really good, it was amazing. Beautiful hall, and, yeah.

Bit tiring, but that's good, really.

Hopefully we're moving to Bangladesh next month,

and I'm Going to be reunited with my family.

And, yeah, we're going to have a big function over there as well.

We have been doing the video calls while we were doing

the engagement thing, and they were witnessing everything, and, yeah,

they're happy, and at least they could see it.

No, no, no.

After all the chaos, suddenly it's over.

For man-flu-ridden Onkar, it's been a long day. I'm a perfectionist,

so I'm never completely happy. I'm relieved.

The client's happy, they're happy. One or two other issues.

The problem is that they were taken off the tables, refilling.

We were just finishing, we were getting there.

That's not the problem. But they were taking it, given to the staff,

and then the staff were then disappearing to go

and do the refills when they've still got to do the table.

It was hard work. It was hard work.

We did manage, but it is hard work, you know,

because it's not big enough, the venue.

But it is very difficult when the family coming in the kitchen

is disturbing us.

But it was nice fun.

It was hard, but it was a good experience. God!

I pulled it off, though. I'm happy with that.

Oh, I can't get up.

I literally can't get up.

My arse is all wet as well.

That's the glamour of wedding planning right there!

Next time...

Onkar helps out at a luxury London wedding.

The groom's side to the left-hand side, the bride...

The groom's side, the groom's over that side, please. Sorry.

Father and son try to secure a big new client.

I'm the main guy. You're the main guy today, Dad.

He wants to meet you, so... Seal the deal. To seal the deal.

And has Onkar finally proved himself to his dad?

Now you're the Wedding Guru now, innit? Look at that.

I know, Dad. I love you, big man.

I know. Me too. Come on, then. Let's go.

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