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[ Machines Clattering ]
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00:00:25,364 --> 00:00:27,714
� [ Caliope Jazz Music
over Machine Clattering]
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00:00:28,265 --> 00:00:29,567
[ Whistle Blowing ]
4
00:00:35,165 --> 00:00:36,808
[ Hiccups ]
5
00:00:38,126 --> 00:00:39,540
[ Bottles Clanking]
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00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,695
[ Hiccups ]
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[ Bottle Corks Popping ]
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00:00:44,530 --> 00:00:45,880
[ Bottle Corks Popping ]
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00:00:49,994 --> 00:00:51,824
[ Bottles Clanking ]
10
00:00:52,415 --> 00:00:53,515
[ Snoring ]
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00:01:03,495 --> 00:01:05,945
[ Match Strike followed by
Sound of Cord Burning ]
12
00:01:06,853 --> 00:01:08,373
[ Bottle Rocket taking off ]
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00:01:12,416 --> 00:01:13,966
� [ Caliope Jazz Continues ]
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00:01:30,513 --> 00:01:34,513
� [Jazz Band Picks-up Melody ] �...
15
00:02:33,534 --> 00:02:37,004
[ Man Narrating ]
This is the world
as seen from the moon.
16
00:02:37,204 --> 00:02:41,041
It is 238,816 miles away.
17
00:02:41,241 --> 00:02:42,978
This is the continent
of Europe,
18
00:02:43,178 --> 00:02:45,614
covering an area
of four million square miles.
19
00:02:45,814 --> 00:02:48,450
And this is
the Duchy of Grand Fenwick,
20
00:02:48,650 --> 00:02:52,788
which covers an area of 5 miles
by 3...and 7 acres.
21
00:02:52,988 --> 00:02:56,191
Founded five centuries ago by
an Englishman:
Sir Roger Fenwick,
22
00:02:56,391 --> 00:02:58,559
it is the smallest and least
progressive country in the
world.
23
00:02:58,759 --> 00:03:00,661
Parade... March !
24
00:03:00,861 --> 00:03:03,429
� [ Fanfare ]
25
00:03:13,174 --> 00:03:17,045
We are witnessing
preparations by the entire army
for trouping the count.
26
00:03:17,245 --> 00:03:21,048
Grand Fenwick clings loyally
to her British traditions.
27
00:03:24,020 --> 00:03:27,255
� [ March ]
28
00:03:32,095 --> 00:03:36,431
One could almost imagine
one's self back in London's
Horse Guard's Parade.
29
00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:42,672
This is the present beloved
ruler of this tiny duchy,
30
00:03:42,872 --> 00:03:46,242
the ever-regal: Gloriana XIII.
31
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:52,549
This is David Benter,
leader of the loyal opposition,
32
00:03:52,749 --> 00:03:54,851
and this is....
33
00:03:55,051 --> 00:03:58,656
The hereditary prime minister
is Count Rupert of Mountjoy,
34
00:03:58,856 --> 00:04:01,759
one of Europe's
most undistinguished statesmen.
35
00:04:01,959 --> 00:04:06,431
A canny politician,
he is a dedicated advocate
of the fundamental doctrine...
36
00:04:06,631 --> 00:04:10,734
that what's good for him is not
necessarily good for the
people.
37
00:04:10,934 --> 00:04:14,272
As prime minister,
Mountjoy accepts with pride...
38
00:04:14,472 --> 00:04:16,308
his obligation
to his sovereign monarch...
39
00:04:16,508 --> 00:04:19,510
to fulfill his role
on these state occasions.
40
00:04:27,785 --> 00:04:31,422
- Fire !
A highlight of the Duchess's
birthday celebration...
41
00:04:31,622 --> 00:04:34,793
-Load ! Ready !
...is a stunning salute by
a crack gunnery division
of the army.
42
00:04:34,993 --> 00:04:36,761
-Fire !
43
00:04:36,961 --> 00:04:39,698
[ Drumroll ]
44
00:04:39,898 --> 00:04:43,401
� [ Fanfare ]
45
00:04:46,705 --> 00:04:49,308
[ Narrator ]
The combination of this moving
ceremony...
46
00:04:49,508 --> 00:04:52,879
is a review of the Imperial troops
by Prime Minister Mountjoy.
47
00:04:53,079 --> 00:04:55,980
� [ March ]
48
00:04:59,085 --> 00:05:02,922
-Army... Attention !
49
00:05:03,122 --> 00:05:06,893
-Now... Arms !
50
00:05:07,093 --> 00:05:09,062
-Move to the left in file !
51
00:05:09,262 --> 00:05:13,400
-Attention !
52
00:05:13,600 --> 00:05:16,034
-Straight March !
53
00:05:18,638 --> 00:05:20,806
-Eyes... Right !
54
00:05:21,006 --> 00:05:25,143
Bravo ! Splendid !
Such precision.
55
00:05:31,101 --> 00:05:33,111
� [ March ] Continues
56
00:05:49,170 --> 00:05:51,540
That man
needs a haircut.
57
00:05:51,740 --> 00:05:53,741
Do up those buttons.
58
00:05:53,941 --> 00:05:55,743
Filthy fingernails.
59
00:05:55,943 --> 00:05:58,713
[ Narrator ]
But a country can not live
by pageantry alone.
60
00:05:58,913 --> 00:06:01,248
Wine is the lifeblood
of Grand Fenwick.
61
00:06:01,448 --> 00:06:04,518
Its only products and exports
are simple but pleasant wines,
62
00:06:04,718 --> 00:06:08,457
which owe their delicate
bouquet to the traditional
method...
63
00:06:08,657 --> 00:06:11,093
of pressing and bottling.
64
00:06:11,293 --> 00:06:13,095
But suddenly this year,
65
00:06:13,295 --> 00:06:16,697
a series of inexplicable
disasters occurred.
66
00:06:23,371 --> 00:06:26,573
[ Ticking ]
67
00:06:31,051 --> 00:06:32,849
[ Explosion ]
68
00:06:33,049 --> 00:06:35,551
[ Foghorn Blowing ]
69
00:06:35,751 --> 00:06:39,990
�
70
00:06:40,190 --> 00:06:43,992
I name this ship
Indestructible.
71
00:06:45,495 --> 00:06:47,315
[ Explosion ]
72
00:06:48,231 --> 00:06:50,667
[ Narrator ]
To meet Grand Fenwick's
economic crisis,
73
00:06:50,867 --> 00:06:53,670
an emergency meeting of
the country's leaders
was called.
74
00:06:53,870 --> 00:06:57,707
Gentlemen, we have to face
the unpleasant fact...
75
00:06:57,907 --> 00:07:01,345
that our wine
just doesn't travel.
76
00:07:01,545 --> 00:07:05,016
But, Your Grace, our wine has
traveled for centuries.
77
00:07:05,216 --> 00:07:09,120
Well, it doesn't now,
and even if it could it can't,
because they won't let it.
78
00:07:09,320 --> 00:07:12,623
You can say that again,
Bobo, if you don't mind.
79
00:07:12,823 --> 00:07:17,227
The fact is, Your Grace, I have
today received communications
from England and America.
80
00:07:17,427 --> 00:07:19,731
They have banned all
future imports of our wine.
81
00:07:19,931 --> 00:07:22,834
Unwarranted provocation.
Take it to the United Nations.
82
00:07:23,034 --> 00:07:25,737
The current session
of the United Nations
has been suspended...
83
00:07:25,937 --> 00:07:29,137
following the explosion
of a case of our wine
in the main canteen.
84
00:07:30,942 --> 00:07:33,444
My game, I think.
[ Dog Barking ]
85
00:07:33,644 --> 00:07:35,980
Well, what are you
gonna do about it ?
86
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,949
Unless we export our
wines, we'll go broke.
87
00:07:38,149 --> 00:07:42,253
Well, I had rather interesting...
[ Explosion ]
What's that ?
88
00:07:42,453 --> 00:07:45,557
- Oh, I had asked our team
of scientists...
-Team ?
89
00:07:45,757 --> 00:07:50,095
Professor Kokintz--to make a
current detailed analysis of
the current vintages.
90
00:07:50,295 --> 00:07:53,398
We must all experiment
all the time in our own way.
91
00:07:53,598 --> 00:07:55,767
We are all as anxious
as the next woman...
92
00:07:55,967 --> 00:07:58,571
to get to the bottom
of the barrel...mystery.
93
00:07:58,771 --> 00:08:01,841
Well, isn't it getting time for
me to open parliament?
94
00:08:02,041 --> 00:08:05,043
� [ Fanfare ]
95
00:08:15,620 --> 00:08:17,400
[ Gavel Bangs ]
96
00:08:17,624 --> 00:08:21,694
Gentlemen, you are all aware
that we face a grave crisis
in the wine industry.
97
00:08:21,894 --> 00:08:24,731
If we are to lose our
main source of income,
98
00:08:24,931 --> 00:08:27,934
then we must take
new and drastic steps
to save the economy.
99
00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:32,105
Nay more, to save
the very existence
of our beloved country.
100
00:08:32,305 --> 00:08:35,809
[ Man ] Such as ?
-Such as...installing indoor plumbing.
101
00:08:36,009 --> 00:08:37,878
Indoor plumbing ?
102
00:08:38,078 --> 00:08:42,249
Precisely. Indoor plumbing to...
encourage the tourist trade.
103
00:08:42,449 --> 00:08:44,317
All you want is
a hot bath for yourself !
104
00:08:44,517 --> 00:08:46,987
Does anyone really think
that our country's
tragic situation....
105
00:08:47,187 --> 00:08:49,957
can be rectified by
installing a few
indoor privies ?
106
00:08:50,157 --> 00:08:53,161
Modern living demands
indoor privies !
107
00:08:53,361 --> 00:08:55,964
- Everyone wants them.
- I don't; they're not sanitary !
108
00:08:56,164 --> 00:09:00,301
Surely this is a matter which
should be discussed
by the privy council.
109
00:09:00,501 --> 00:09:03,838
I hardly think so your grace !
It isn't that kind of
privy council.
110
00:09:04,038 --> 00:09:06,741
Oh, what a pity.
Carry on, then.
111
00:09:06,941 --> 00:09:10,579
[ Crowd Booing Outside ]
112
00:09:10,779 --> 00:09:12,614
[ Woman ]
Mountjoy to the gallows !
113
00:09:12,814 --> 00:09:15,784
[ Man ] Save our economy !
- Good morning, Cynthia.
114
00:09:15,984 --> 00:09:18,520
Oh, good morning,
Uncle Bobo.
115
00:09:18,720 --> 00:09:21,657
Mountjoy to the gallows !
116
00:09:21,857 --> 00:09:25,594
Benter, you know the Constitution
as well as I do.
117
00:09:25,794 --> 00:09:28,398
I warn you, if you don't keep
that daughter of yours under
control,
118
00:09:28,598 --> 00:09:30,533
I shall have her beheaded...
or worse.
119
00:09:30,733 --> 00:09:32,535
Oh, you try.
Just you try.
120
00:09:32,735 --> 00:09:36,539
Gentlemen, gentlemen !
To business.
121
00:09:36,739 --> 00:09:38,140
To business.
122
00:09:38,340 --> 00:09:41,344
To carry out this
new economic policy,
123
00:09:41,544 --> 00:09:45,080
I intend asking the United
States for financial aid.
124
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:48,686
Oh, please, Uncle Sam, we
want a loan for our plumbing
for our castle.
125
00:09:48,886 --> 00:09:50,788
No, never, never.
126
00:09:50,988 --> 00:09:53,423
Do you really think I would
allow the American government...
127
00:09:53,623 --> 00:09:55,926
to know the true reason
why we seek a loan ?
128
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:59,930
Accuse me of anything you like,
but never of being an amateur.
129
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:02,933
But Bobo, didn't I read that
their nice young president...
130
00:10:03,133 --> 00:10:07,371
you know, What's-His-Name-- had
just drastically reduced all
foreign aid ?
131
00:10:07,571 --> 00:10:11,309
Precisely, Your Grace. But
remember the Americans
are a strange people.
132
00:10:11,509 --> 00:10:13,610
Above all,
they want to be loved,
133
00:10:13,810 --> 00:10:16,113
especially
by the uncommitted nations.
134
00:10:16,313 --> 00:10:19,350
They will spare no expense
to make themselves popular.
135
00:10:19,550 --> 00:10:23,355
I propose that we request
a loan for research...
136
00:10:23,555 --> 00:10:26,091
to build a rocket
to send a man to the moon.
137
00:10:26,291 --> 00:10:29,427
- Rocket ? We can't even
build fireworks.
- [ Men Laughing ]
138
00:10:29,627 --> 00:10:32,831
Right. The Americans will
not give us one penny...
139
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:35,901
if we had the remotest chance
of sending a rocket anywhere,
140
00:10:36,101 --> 00:10:40,104
but they are always talking
about international co�peration in space.
141
00:10:40,304 --> 00:10:44,276
And this offers them the
opportunity without risk,
as they say in Texas,
142
00:10:44,476 --> 00:10:48,013
to put their money
where their mouth...was.
143
00:10:48,213 --> 00:10:51,884
- We can become a third force.
- Precisely, Your Grace.
144
00:10:52,084 --> 00:10:54,754
I'm against it.
It's dishonest, indecent.
145
00:10:54,954 --> 00:10:58,190
It's taking money
under false pretenses.
146
00:10:58,390 --> 00:11:00,627
How much you gonna ask for ?
147
00:11:00,827 --> 00:11:04,097
Half a million dollars.
Peanuts to the Americans.
148
00:11:04,297 --> 00:11:07,333
[ Explosion ]
[ Men Murmuring ]
149
00:11:07,533 --> 00:11:10,368
Prof. Kokintz appears
to be opening another bottle.
150
00:11:11,444 --> 00:11:13,163
[ Glass Rattling ]
151
00:11:23,123 --> 00:11:24,923
[ Rocket Blasting-off ]
152
00:11:32,215 --> 00:11:33,860
�
153
00:11:34,060 --> 00:11:36,996
Would you have the goodness
to rephrase that question, sir ?
154
00:11:37,196 --> 00:11:40,334
Forgive me, but I'm
something of a new boy
press-conference-wise.
155
00:11:40,534 --> 00:11:42,937
Has the rocket
achieved its objective ?
156
00:11:43,137 --> 00:11:47,107
I'm happy to say we've landed on
the moon where it's supposed to,
target-wise.
157
00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:49,777
- But there's no news ?
- No news is good news.
158
00:11:49,977 --> 00:11:52,613
But other than hitting the
moon which has been done
before,
159
00:11:52,813 --> 00:11:55,450
nothing new
has so far been learned ?
160
00:11:55,650 --> 00:11:57,953
That is a correct analysis
of the present situation.
161
00:11:58,153 --> 00:12:01,189
Mr. Secretary, does this
mean we are lagging behind
the Russians...
162
00:12:01,389 --> 00:12:03,459
in the race
to get a man on the moon ?
163
00:12:03,659 --> 00:12:07,395
So far as I'm aware,
this country is not engaged
in any race to the moon.
164
00:12:07,595 --> 00:12:10,698
-May I rephrase the question?
-Please do.
165
00:12:10,898 --> 00:12:13,648
If it was a race, would you say
we were running second ?
166
00:12:15,403 --> 00:12:17,773
That's a fair question.
Let me put it this way:
167
00:12:17,973 --> 00:12:21,610
If it was a race, I personally--
underscore personally--
168
00:12:21,810 --> 00:12:24,279
would find it hard
to state categorically...
169
00:12:24,479 --> 00:12:28,249
and with certitude
that we were running first.
170
00:12:28,449 --> 00:12:31,653
- Does that answer
your question?
- No.
171
00:12:31,853 --> 00:12:35,391
Isn't this so-called giant
step forward just another step
back ?
172
00:12:35,591 --> 00:12:39,829
No, sir-- Pardon me, ma'am.
In man's race--
173
00:12:40,029 --> 00:12:43,466
Sorry. In man's bid
to conquer space,
174
00:12:43,666 --> 00:12:47,370
any step in whatever direction
is always a step in the right
direction.
175
00:12:47,570 --> 00:12:50,975
It's been suggested that you
have received messages from the
robot...
176
00:12:51,175 --> 00:12:54,577
but are keeping dark about
them for security reasons.
177
00:12:55,679 --> 00:12:59,248
No comment.
Thank you, gentlemen.
178
00:12:59,448 --> 00:13:03,553
[ Chattering ]
179
00:13:03,753 --> 00:13:08,858
Mr. Secretary, that suggestion
that the robot has sent back
information--
180
00:13:09,058 --> 00:13:10,861
Nonsense. It's a dead duck.
What's next ?
181
00:13:11,061 --> 00:13:12,863
Von Neidel
is outside, sir.
182
00:13:13,063 --> 00:13:14,765
Von Neidel ?
What does that crazy
Kraut want ?
183
00:13:14,965 --> 00:13:18,367
-You, sir...with an air of
urgency.
-Have him come in.
184
00:13:20,771 --> 00:13:24,875
-Max.
-Mr. Secretary, we Americans
have to go now.
185
00:13:25,075 --> 00:13:27,077
-Go ? Where ?
-To the moon.
186
00:13:27,277 --> 00:13:30,281
If we do not go now, the
Russians will send a man
there first.
187
00:13:30,481 --> 00:13:33,618
-Take it easy, Max. Have a
cigar.
-N-No, no.
188
00:13:33,818 --> 00:13:36,721
Our information is that
they're as far off it as we are.
189
00:13:36,921 --> 00:13:39,824
But we are not far off it.
We can go tomorrow.
190
00:13:40,024 --> 00:13:42,760
Today. Yesterday.
191
00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:46,197
Sure, we can get a man there...
Can we get him back ?
192
00:13:46,397 --> 00:13:48,900
I'm issuing no one-way tickets
on this line, Max.
193
00:13:49,100 --> 00:13:52,037
Of course there are risks, the
surface of the moon
is just one of them.
194
00:13:52,237 --> 00:13:54,940
But this robot will not
give you the answer.
195
00:13:55,140 --> 00:13:57,141
Maybe it's given us
the answer already, Max.
196
00:13:57,341 --> 00:13:59,711
If the lunar surface
is nothing but soft dust,
197
00:13:59,911 --> 00:14:02,146
that would account
for the robot's silence
wouldn't it ?
198
00:14:02,346 --> 00:14:04,784
So you send 50 more,
and we wait 50 years ?
199
00:14:04,984 --> 00:14:08,287
To safeguard the lives
of two American boys,
200
00:14:08,487 --> 00:14:11,323
I'd wait a thousand
years, Max.
201
00:14:11,523 --> 00:14:13,792
Wouldn't you ?
202
00:14:18,563 --> 00:14:20,665
No.
203
00:14:23,436 --> 00:14:27,207
There's a file here from the
State Department for
your comments and suggestions.
204
00:14:27,407 --> 00:14:30,143
The Duchy of Grand Fenwick.
Oh, not again !
205
00:14:30,343 --> 00:14:32,645
-Requesting a loan of a
half a million dollars.
-Loan ?
206
00:14:32,845 --> 00:14:34,347
That is not my pigeon.
207
00:14:34,547 --> 00:14:38,184
For rocket research,
with a view to putting
a man on the moon.
208
00:14:38,384 --> 00:14:41,855
-Are you trying to be funny?
-Me, sir ? No, sir.
209
00:14:42,055 --> 00:14:47,060
"The people of Grand Fenwick have
always admired your president's
oft-expressed sentiments...
210
00:14:47,260 --> 00:14:52,533
on the desirability of truly
international co�peration
on space exploration."
211
00:14:52,733 --> 00:14:55,603
This guy Mountjoy
is some kind of a nut.
212
00:14:55,803 --> 00:14:57,204
But sincere, sir.
213
00:14:57,404 --> 00:15:01,676
You think so, how much are we spending
on a conservative estimate
on Project Apollo ?
214
00:15:01,876 --> 00:15:02,810
About $20 billion.
215
00:15:03,010 --> 00:15:05,147
Twenty billion,
and he asks for $500,000 ?
216
00:15:05,347 --> 00:15:07,982
It wouldn't even buy a
second had space suit,
and he knows it.
217
00:15:08,182 --> 00:15:09,751
Don't forget they do have
Prof. Kokintz ?
218
00:15:09,951 --> 00:15:10,918
Kokintz?
219
00:15:11,118 --> 00:15:13,688
The physicist. In his day,
he was a great brain.
220
00:15:13,888 --> 00:15:16,924
One old scientist and a
Bunsen burner.
Don't make me laugh.
221
00:15:17,124 --> 00:15:18,961
The sentiment
seemed genuine.
222
00:15:19,161 --> 00:15:21,496
Nothing of the kind,
Wendover.
223
00:15:21,696 --> 00:15:25,901
Never underestimate the wiles
of a crooked European statesman.
224
00:15:26,101 --> 00:15:28,137
But then, why
do they want the money ?
225
00:15:28,337 --> 00:15:30,739
Plumbing for the castle, probably.
-Plumbing ?
226
00:15:30,939 --> 00:15:34,043
-Something like that.
-Then we recommend a polite refusal.
227
00:15:34,243 --> 00:15:37,681
No, Wendover, we don't. Repeat, don't.
-Don't ?
228
00:15:37,881 --> 00:15:42,018
We'll refuse a loan and recommend instead an
out-right gift of twice the amount.
229
00:15:42,218 --> 00:15:45,454
-We'll give them $1 million.
-But they only asked for $500,000.
230
00:15:45,654 --> 00:15:49,125
-What will they do with the surplus?
-That's their problem.
231
00:15:49,325 --> 00:15:51,127
I still don't understand.
232
00:15:51,327 --> 00:15:55,330
Which, Wendover,is why you
are standing up
and I am sitting down.
233
00:15:57,101 --> 00:15:59,469
Grand Fenwick
couldn't build fireworks.
234
00:15:59,669 --> 00:16:03,507
So, without risk, the U.S. can
encourage international
space research.
235
00:16:03,707 --> 00:16:06,142
This will hit the uncommitted
nations right between the eyes.
236
00:16:06,342 --> 00:16:09,946
They'll love us, and it'll only
cost one million lousy dollars.
237
00:16:10,146 --> 00:16:12,982
Wendover,this is the cheapest
major diplomatic stroke...
238
00:16:13,182 --> 00:16:16,251
the world has ever seen...
prestige-wise.
239
00:16:22,126 --> 00:16:24,928
"Finally it is clear...
240
00:16:26,731 --> 00:16:29,100
"that America
does not want...
241
00:16:29,300 --> 00:16:34,137
the true international
co�peration in the space."
242
00:16:35,229 --> 00:16:38,176
[ Clapping ]
243
00:16:38,376 --> 00:16:40,512
[ Secretary ]
To answer my colleague from the
Soviet Union...
244
00:16:40,712 --> 00:16:43,214
I am happy to announce
that the United States...
245
00:16:43,414 --> 00:16:48,886
is making an outright gift of a
substantial sum of money to a
European nation...
246
00:16:49,086 --> 00:16:51,590
for the express purpose
of research...
247
00:16:51,790 --> 00:16:54,526
with a view to their sending
a man to the moon.
248
00:16:54,726 --> 00:16:57,463
Protocol prevents me from naming
the country concerned,
249
00:16:57,663 --> 00:17:00,799
since the official news has not
yet been conveyed
to its head of state.
250
00:17:00,999 --> 00:17:03,469
This, however,
will be announced shortly.
251
00:17:03,669 --> 00:17:06,671
[ Applause ]
252
00:17:08,273 --> 00:17:10,810
Well, that
should be first-class.
253
00:17:11,010 --> 00:17:15,181
Thank you.
I think we scored
diplomacy-wise.
254
00:17:15,381 --> 00:17:18,184
I don't like this one bit, Hugh.
Get onto Intelligence...
255
00:17:18,384 --> 00:17:21,954
and find out what these
tricky ba... what they're up to.
256
00:17:22,154 --> 00:17:24,324
Yes ?
Roger, boss.
257
00:17:24,524 --> 00:17:28,195
[ Radio Static ]
258
00:17:28,395 --> 00:17:31,197
[ Man On Radio ] This is the
Voice of America...
-Ah, the news.
259
00:17:31,397 --> 00:17:34,701
An international roundup
of the latest...in rhythm!
260
00:17:34,901 --> 00:17:36,903
Mountjoy, great news !
261
00:17:37,103 --> 00:17:39,205
-The Americans have replied!
-They have ?
262
00:17:39,405 --> 00:17:42,342
What did they say ?
-Yes, What ? I don't know.
263
00:17:42,542 --> 00:17:44,844
But you said they'd replied.
-No, you said they'd replied.
264
00:17:45,044 --> 00:17:47,381
-Did you or did you not say you
had great news?
-Yes.
265
00:17:47,581 --> 00:17:49,417
-Then we've won.
-No, we've two.
266
00:17:49,617 --> 00:17:51,552
-Two ?
-Two Boblinks in the
forest.
267
00:17:51,752 --> 00:17:53,554
-Two what ?
-Bobolinks.
268
00:17:53,754 --> 00:17:55,956
-What the devil are bobolinks?
-They're rare little birds.
269
00:17:56,156 --> 00:17:58,225
Never found in Europe,
and I found two.
270
00:17:58,425 --> 00:18:01,128
I'm writing to the Times
of London about it!
271
00:18:01,328 --> 00:18:03,096
-Congratulations.
-Thank you.
-Oi, eh...
272
00:18:03,296 --> 00:18:06,335
-Bobolinks !
-You don't seem very pleased
about the bobolinks.
273
00:18:06,535 --> 00:18:09,571
Why should I be pleased about
the blasted boblinks?!
Get out !
274
00:18:09,771 --> 00:18:11,873
Why should I be pleased
about anything ?
275
00:18:12,073 --> 00:18:14,543
Here I am waiting for news
which will make or break me,
276
00:18:14,743 --> 00:18:16,644
and you babble
about bobolinks !
277
00:18:16,844 --> 00:18:21,182
-Oh, I'm sorry.
-And I'm-- sorry I shouted....
Kokintz.
278
00:18:21,382 --> 00:18:24,453
[ Crowd Shouting Outside ]
The truth is, I think I'm
finished.
279
00:18:24,653 --> 00:18:27,389
[ Shouting Continues ]
280
00:18:27,589 --> 00:18:32,361
You see ?
This week tomatoes, next
week, bombs.
281
00:18:32,561 --> 00:18:35,630
Thank heaven
my son is coming home.
282
00:18:35,830 --> 00:18:38,300
Maybe he can cope
with the younger generation.
283
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:42,372
[ Kokintz ]
You think a mere boy will
succeed where you have failed ?
284
00:18:42,572 --> 00:18:46,409
Ah, he had all the makings
of a great politician, Kokintz.
285
00:18:46,609 --> 00:18:50,313
As a child, he was
fantastically sly and dishonest.
286
00:18:50,513 --> 00:18:53,049
That's why I bundled him
off to England.
287
00:18:53,249 --> 00:18:55,752
These years should have
ripened him nicely.
288
00:18:55,952 --> 00:18:58,255
[ Shouting Continues ]
What was that, then ?
289
00:18:58,455 --> 00:19:01,492
Huh, they're throwing things
at somebody else for a change.
290
00:19:01,692 --> 00:19:05,095
Oh, cheer up.
Maybe things are not as bad
as you think.
291
00:19:05,295 --> 00:19:08,866
No, Kokintz, they don't call me
"Mount Wonder" anymore.
292
00:19:09,066 --> 00:19:14,403
But perhaps my boy will give
these young thugs
a taste of their own medicine.
293
00:19:19,797 --> 00:19:21,647
[ � Clarinet ]
294
00:19:32,323 --> 00:19:35,926
Father, they
threw things at me.
295
00:19:38,196 --> 00:19:41,033
- Vincent ?
- Yes. Hello, Father.
296
00:19:41,233 --> 00:19:44,036
How are you ?
Oh... I'm sorry.
297
00:19:44,236 --> 00:19:46,806
Father, they threw
things at me. A mob.
298
00:19:47,006 --> 00:19:50,141
I'm not surprised.
Look at you. Those clothes.
299
00:19:50,341 --> 00:19:53,945
It's my college uniform.
I only wore it to please you,
I can't stand the thing.
300
00:19:54,145 --> 00:19:56,649
-Why did they chase me,
who are they?
-Young beatniks.
301
00:19:56,849 --> 00:19:59,418
-Beatniks here ?
-Things have changed.
302
00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:01,887
-Oh, marvelous.
- We live in grave times
my boy.
303
00:20:02,087 --> 00:20:05,123
You may be called upon to be
Prime Minister
sooner than I feared.
304
00:20:05,323 --> 00:20:08,661
-Oh, Father, I'm not ready.
-A Mountjoy must always
be ready !
305
00:20:08,861 --> 00:20:11,864
Your great-great-grandfather
became the Prime Minister
at the age of six.
306
00:20:12,064 --> 00:20:16,035
-Yes, but he was mad.
-Mad maybe, but one of our
greatest prime ministers.
307
00:20:16,235 --> 00:20:19,506
Oh, Father, I don't think I want
to be Prime Minister, not yet.
308
00:20:19,706 --> 00:20:23,409
You'll be prime minister
when I say so...and like it !
[ Stick Bouncing ]
309
00:20:23,609 --> 00:20:25,579
What's that ?
Your school report ?
310
00:20:25,779 --> 00:20:28,181
-No, it's a letter for you, it's
from America I think.
-You idiot !
311
00:20:28,381 --> 00:20:31,786
Give it to me !
-I picked it up at the frontier...
312
00:20:31,986 --> 00:20:35,755
The postman was plucking a
chicken so I thought I'd do him a
favor and bring it on.
313
00:20:35,955 --> 00:20:40,760
Yes, it is ! No, a gift !
The fools fell for it.
314
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:44,064
-What ?
-Twice what I asked!
We're saved ! Saved !
315
00:20:44,264 --> 00:20:47,067
-Saved ?
-Read it yourself...
Ha-ha, what a stroke !
316
00:20:47,267 --> 00:20:50,438
Peace, prosperity
...and plumbing !
317
00:20:50,638 --> 00:20:52,540
One million
for rocket research ?
318
00:20:52,740 --> 00:20:55,110
Man on the moon ?
Father, this is wonderful !
319
00:20:55,310 --> 00:20:58,380
Not bad, eh ?
[ Laughing ]
320
00:20:58,580 --> 00:21:01,016
-Diplomacy, eh ?
-And father,
you can send me.
321
00:21:01,216 --> 00:21:02,984
-Send you, where ?
-Up.
322
00:21:03,184 --> 00:21:07,155
Yes, Father, up to the moon.
Father that's what I want to be...
an astronaut !
323
00:21:07,355 --> 00:21:10,092
-This is no time for silly jokes !
-But I do, Father.
324
00:21:10,292 --> 00:21:14,330
The money is for modernization,
plumbing, hot, steaming baths.
325
00:21:14,530 --> 00:21:17,133
But you requested it for
rocket research.
It says so here.
326
00:21:17,333 --> 00:21:20,002
It's dishonest to start using it
for baths and plumbing.
327
00:21:20,202 --> 00:21:22,237
-What did you say ?
-It just isn't done.
328
00:21:22,437 --> 00:21:25,340
-Didn't you learn anything
in England?
-Yes, I did.
329
00:21:25,540 --> 00:21:28,077
I learned
to play the game.
330
00:21:28,277 --> 00:21:30,947
My boy.
331
00:21:31,147 --> 00:21:34,784
Sit down.
Let me explain.
332
00:21:34,984 --> 00:21:39,789
It would be dishonest indeed to
use the money for the purpose
for which it was asked.
333
00:21:39,989 --> 00:21:43,826
If nations did that, they would
lose trust in one another.
334
00:21:44,026 --> 00:21:46,163
It's deceiving
the American taxpayer.
335
00:21:46,363 --> 00:21:51,068
The American taxpayer has
always been deceived.
It is his birthright.
336
00:21:51,268 --> 00:21:53,370
But to use it for plumbing
instead of rocket research--
337
00:21:53,570 --> 00:21:56,640
My boy, don't you understand ?
That's good for every taxpayer.
338
00:21:56,840 --> 00:21:59,076
It takes the rivalry
out of the space race,
339
00:21:59,276 --> 00:22:01,912
makes the world safer for it,
and we get our bathtub !
340
00:22:02,112 --> 00:22:04,916
-I don't agree with it.
-I'll announce it on television.
341
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:06,984
Fireside chat
to the nation.
342
00:22:07,184 --> 00:22:10,121
We've had that set for 3
years, about time we used it.
343
00:22:10,321 --> 00:22:12,123
How shall I begin ?
344
00:22:12,323 --> 00:22:14,925
Good evening.
Brilliant !
345
00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:18,027
[ Crowd Chattering ]
346
00:22:22,434 --> 00:22:24,703
What do you think
he's going to announce ?
347
00:22:24,903 --> 00:22:27,872
I don't know.
But whatever
it is we'll fight it.
348
00:22:28,072 --> 00:22:30,242
Well, there's nothing else
to do here, is there ?
349
00:22:30,442 --> 00:22:34,278
And I'll fight him
with you.
350
00:22:35,781 --> 00:22:39,082
We're gonna get right in and
fight this thing.
351
00:22:40,787 --> 00:22:43,590
Hello.
Remember me ?
352
00:22:43,790 --> 00:22:45,858
Yes, we threw
tomatoes at you.
353
00:22:46,058 --> 00:22:50,163
No, no, before that, we use
to play together as kids
Do you remember ?
354
00:22:50,363 --> 00:22:53,265
She was the first girl
I ever kissed.
355
00:22:53,465 --> 00:22:55,501
We were engaged
when she was six.
356
00:22:55,701 --> 00:22:58,537
[ Laughs ]
357
00:22:58,737 --> 00:23:03,309
So I ask you to back me in my
efforts to put
Grand Fenwick on the map.
358
00:23:03,509 --> 00:23:07,681
Let our watch word be,
"Forward with the people,
The sky's the limit."
359
00:23:07,881 --> 00:23:11,584
Get the idea ?
Goes equally well for rockets or
plumbing.
360
00:23:11,784 --> 00:23:13,553
Very clever.
361
00:23:13,753 --> 00:23:16,222
[ Vincent ]
It's rather dead in here.
Would you like some music ?
362
00:23:16,422 --> 00:23:19,493
I'll-- I'll put it on.
363
00:23:19,693 --> 00:23:22,028
It's all right,
I'll do it.
364
00:23:24,531 --> 00:23:28,201
[ Music Box Tinkling Tune ]
365
00:23:39,647 --> 00:23:44,085
Now, you will please watch which
ever camera is showing
the little red light.
366
00:23:44,285 --> 00:23:47,055
Eh... oh, it's time.
367
00:23:47,255 --> 00:23:49,590
[ Clears Throat ]
368
00:23:51,659 --> 00:23:56,299
Good evening.
This is the Grand National
Television Service.
369
00:23:56,499 --> 00:23:58,434
The prime minister.
370
00:23:58,634 --> 00:24:01,404
- Good evening.
- Wrong camera.
371
00:24:01,604 --> 00:24:05,006
- I'm speaking to you tonight--
- It's the wrong--
372
00:24:07,109 --> 00:24:09,878
Good evening.
I am speaking to you tonight...
373
00:24:10,078 --> 00:24:12,181
because I have news
of tremendous importance...
374
00:24:12,381 --> 00:24:17,020
for the future well-being
of our beloved... country.
375
00:24:17,220 --> 00:24:21,091
Some of you may think that I
have lead the country into a
position...
376
00:24:21,291 --> 00:24:23,227
where you have never
had it so bad.
377
00:24:23,427 --> 00:24:26,029
But I am here today
to tell you...
378
00:24:26,229 --> 00:24:28,330
that our fortunes
are going up.
379
00:24:29,865 --> 00:24:32,703
Recently,
I approached our friends...
380
00:24:32,903 --> 00:24:36,440
in the United States...
of America...
381
00:24:36,640 --> 00:24:40,144
for a loan
to help us in our hour--
382
00:24:40,344 --> 00:24:42,512
our hour of need.
383
00:24:42,712 --> 00:24:46,483
What was
the president's reply ?
384
00:24:46,683 --> 00:24:49,988
[ Cameraman Shouts ]
AHHH ! You got my hand !
385
00:24:50,188 --> 00:24:53,123
[ Chattering ]
386
00:24:54,143 --> 00:24:55,843
[ �... ]
387
00:24:58,763 --> 00:25:01,399
-Huh ?
-Come on.
388
00:25:01,599 --> 00:25:04,001
[ Chattering ]
389
00:25:11,943 --> 00:25:15,513
Good evening.
A slight technical hitch at
the transmitter...
390
00:25:15,713 --> 00:25:18,383
forces me
to address you personally.
391
00:25:18,583 --> 00:25:22,087
As I was saying, this
generous gift to the country...
392
00:25:22,287 --> 00:25:26,224
- [ Clattering, Shouting ]
would enable us to buy--
393
00:25:26,424 --> 00:25:29,428
As I was saying,
this gift--
394
00:25:29,628 --> 00:25:32,697
[ Chattering, Shouting ]
395
00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:39,138
-What the--
what is it?
-It's a rocket !
396
00:25:39,338 --> 00:25:42,807
[ Screaming ]
397
00:25:44,477 --> 00:25:48,646
Oh, the fools !
We wanted the cash not a
rocket !
398
00:25:52,451 --> 00:25:54,301
[ Glass Breaking ]
399
00:25:58,157 --> 00:26:00,793
What is it ?
Where did it come from ?
400
00:26:00,993 --> 00:26:04,731
It's a space rocket !
I expect it's a reject from
Cape Canaveral.
401
00:26:04,931 --> 00:26:07,933
[ Dog Barking and sound of
Knocking on Rocket]
402
00:26:09,602 --> 00:26:13,073
I repeat, what is it ?
And why is it here ?
403
00:26:13,273 --> 00:26:17,077
This is not, as we feared,
an American rocket.
It is a Russian rocket...
404
00:26:17,277 --> 00:26:19,679
presented with the compliments
of the president and people...
405
00:26:19,879 --> 00:26:21,448
of the Union of Soviet
Socialist Republics.
406
00:26:21,648 --> 00:26:24,752
-Why ?
-Why, they wish to match
the American aid.
407
00:26:24,952 --> 00:26:30,491
Do I take it the prime minister
is seriously contemplating sending a
rocket to the moon, after all ?
408
00:26:30,691 --> 00:26:33,828
- Don't be an ass.
- Unparliamentarily, Bobo.
409
00:26:34,028 --> 00:26:38,799
Well, this ancient rocket, this
propaganda period piece
was sent without engines,
410
00:26:38,999 --> 00:26:41,570
and its space capsule
was designed for a dog.
411
00:26:41,770 --> 00:26:44,538
Most suitable.
I suggest the prime minister
climbs in...
412
00:26:44,738 --> 00:26:47,541
and launches himself to
obscurity as soon as
possible.
413
00:26:47,741 --> 00:26:50,778
If you can't launch it, how are
you going to get rid of it ?
414
00:26:50,978 --> 00:26:54,983
Professor Kokintz informs
us that the rocket is in
three stages.
415
00:26:55,183 --> 00:26:57,651
It is proposed
that we dismantle it,
416
00:26:57,851 --> 00:27:00,389
then reassemble it in the disused
north tower of the castle.
417
00:27:00,589 --> 00:27:03,325
- For what reason ?
- To hide the damn thing.
418
00:27:03,525 --> 00:27:06,195
There is also a possibility
that it can be adapted...
419
00:27:06,395 --> 00:27:09,598
as a large tank for the new
hot water system, but--
420
00:27:09,798 --> 00:27:13,435
- What are the Russians going to
say about that?
- They won't know unless you
tell them.
421
00:27:13,635 --> 00:27:16,906
So far as both the Americans
and Russians are concerned,
422
00:27:17,106 --> 00:27:20,277
we shall be working flat-out
on our moon project.
423
00:27:20,477 --> 00:27:23,213
Is that all then,
gentlemen ?
424
00:27:23,413 --> 00:27:27,250
Then there is one point
we should like to make.
425
00:27:27,450 --> 00:27:31,887
What is that nasty grey tin
thing sticking through the
window,
426
00:27:32,087 --> 00:27:34,723
and how can we
get rid of it ?
427
00:27:34,923 --> 00:27:40,130
All right, boys, all together.
Heave ! And Heave ! Heave !
428
00:27:40,330 --> 00:27:43,066
Good. Come on, now.
Pull it up.
429
00:27:43,266 --> 00:27:46,169
Good morning, boys.
[ Chattering ]
430
00:27:46,369 --> 00:27:49,705
-What are you doing ?
- ...and your muscles will do the rest...
431
00:27:49,905 --> 00:27:53,810
[ Chattering ]
We'll crack as we pull it up
into the sky, and we'll--
432
00:27:54,010 --> 00:27:56,480
[ She Laughs ]
[ He Groans ]
433
00:27:56,680 --> 00:28:00,651
Well, the only thing is left to
run the exterior pipes
corkscrew-like up the walls.
434
00:28:00,851 --> 00:28:03,154
Exterior pipes ?..
[ From Outside ] -Pull me down !
435
00:28:03,354 --> 00:28:05,356
-Won't that mean loss of
heat?
-Can't help that.
436
00:28:05,556 --> 00:28:08,659
Oh, my ! I said me,
not my trousers !
437
00:28:08,859 --> 00:28:11,462
Oh, Cynthia, don't look.
438
00:28:11,662 --> 00:28:14,231
Move your face !
[ Grunts ]
439
00:28:14,431 --> 00:28:17,836
[ Cynthia Laughs ] [He Thuds ]
Right, now start again, shall we ?
440
00:28:18,036 --> 00:28:21,706
Heave !
Come on, heave it up !
441
00:28:21,906 --> 00:28:24,408
This is a hot water
supply, remember.
442
00:28:24,608 --> 00:28:27,745
I'm not going to spend my
American dollars
on a cold bath.
443
00:28:27,945 --> 00:28:29,981
Well, I can't promise
any hot.
444
00:28:30,181 --> 00:28:34,553
Oh. Well, if you don't
give me hot water,
I'll have you--
445
00:28:34,753 --> 00:28:38,322
[ Loud Crash ]
[ Shouting with Echo ] Hey, who did that ?
446
00:28:38,934 --> 00:28:40,674
[ Match Being Struck ]
447
00:28:45,980 --> 00:28:48,520
[ � ]
448
00:29:20,690 --> 00:29:22,570
[Boiling Sound Growing Stronger ]
449
00:29:27,198 --> 00:29:28,718
[ Cap Rattling ]
450
00:29:32,366 --> 00:29:34,126
[ Steam Sound Receding ]
451
00:29:42,757 --> 00:29:44,823
[ Bell Jingles ]
452
00:29:47,795 --> 00:29:49,695
Thank you.
453
00:29:54,328 --> 00:29:56,108
[ Owl Hooting ]
454
00:30:01,145 --> 00:30:02,965
[ � ]
455
00:30:15,991 --> 00:30:17,892
All systems go.
456
00:30:30,940 --> 00:30:33,441
Whoo-whoo-whoo-whoo !
457
00:30:33,641 --> 00:30:36,277
Whoo-whoo !
Lucky dog.
458
00:30:36,477 --> 00:30:39,347
Whoo !
Oh, it's you, Vincent.
459
00:30:39,547 --> 00:30:42,986
-Oh, hello, Professor.
-What are you doing in there ?
460
00:30:43,186 --> 00:30:45,622
I was playing
at being a space dog.
461
00:30:45,822 --> 00:30:48,424
About the closest I'll ever get
to being an astronaut.
462
00:30:48,624 --> 00:30:50,760
You really want to be
an astronaut, don't you ?
463
00:30:50,960 --> 00:30:54,631
-It's all I've dreamed about
since they sent up Sputnik 1.
- We all have our dreams.
464
00:30:54,831 --> 00:30:58,200
- Can I trust you, Vincent ?
- Trust me ?
465
00:30:58,400 --> 00:31:00,938
Not to tell your father,
at least not yet.
466
00:31:01,138 --> 00:31:03,605
I wouldn't tell him anything.
What is it ?
467
00:31:06,376 --> 00:31:09,045
Come with me.
I'll show you a miracle.
468
00:31:13,550 --> 00:31:16,186
-You understand it so far ?
-Yes, of course.
469
00:31:16,386 --> 00:31:20,124
Half the great scientific
discoveries of history
have come by accident.
470
00:31:20,324 --> 00:31:23,593
But none, perhaps...
[ Chicken Clucks ]
471
00:31:23,793 --> 00:31:26,830
-What is it ?
-For 15 years I've searched for
a formula...
472
00:31:27,030 --> 00:31:29,399
to stabilize
nuclear power.
473
00:31:29,599 --> 00:31:31,702
-You mean, you've found it?
-Yes.
474
00:31:31,902 --> 00:31:33,704
-How ?
-Here.
475
00:31:33,904 --> 00:31:36,041
-Not before breakfast,
professor.
-No, no.
476
00:31:36,241 --> 00:31:38,176
This is the stabilizing
factor.
477
00:31:38,376 --> 00:31:42,681
This, our mysterious,explosive and
stable wine of Grand Fenwick.
478
00:31:42,881 --> 00:31:45,283
-I don't believe it.
-Oh, you will.
479
00:31:45,483 --> 00:31:47,986
The wine contains an
astonishing radioactive element,
480
00:31:48,186 --> 00:31:53,058
which I have called Pinotium 64,
which also happens to be my age.
481
00:31:53,258 --> 00:31:56,062
-Yes, but what happens ?
-Well I'll make it simple for
you.
482
00:31:56,262 --> 00:32:00,032
When a positively charged
particle of Pinotium 64...
483
00:32:00,232 --> 00:32:04,869
comes into contact with the
positive charge of particle of,
say, Carbon 14,
484
00:32:05,069 --> 00:32:08,907
the Pinotium particle
immediately and so gently...
485
00:32:09,107 --> 00:32:11,843
changes its charge
to negative,
486
00:32:12,043 --> 00:32:15,215
thus positive and positive
become negative.
487
00:32:15,415 --> 00:32:18,651
Now when a negative charge--
[ Continues, Indistinct ]
488
00:32:18,851 --> 00:32:21,387
[ Rooster Crowing ]
489
00:32:21,587 --> 00:32:24,824
Now, this release of particles
is, of course, very slow...
490
00:32:25,024 --> 00:32:27,760
which is why there can be
no chain reaction.
491
00:32:27,960 --> 00:32:32,766
The neutrons released can not
themselves release energy
in the substances used...
492
00:32:32,966 --> 00:32:35,269
as would be the case
in Uranium.
493
00:32:35,469 --> 00:32:37,371
You see ?
494
00:32:37,571 --> 00:32:39,973
Vincent. Vincent ?
495
00:32:40,173 --> 00:32:42,610
-Hmm ?
-You see ?
496
00:32:42,810 --> 00:32:45,145
Oh, yes, of course.
Does it work ?
497
00:32:45,345 --> 00:32:47,847
Take the top off that lamp.
498
00:32:55,089 --> 00:32:57,223
And now hold it.
499
00:33:02,229 --> 00:33:04,664
Hold it very tight.
500
00:33:12,473 --> 00:33:14,383
[ Hissing ]
501
00:33:14,742 --> 00:33:17,301
-It's moving !
- Hold it !
502
00:33:17,501 --> 00:33:19,251
[ Glass Crashing ]
503
00:33:21,799 --> 00:33:23,318
[ Jet Flying ]
504
00:33:23,518 --> 00:33:25,620
This is Captain Johnson
speaking.
505
00:33:25,820 --> 00:33:28,758
We are now cruising at
an altitude of 35,000 feet.
506
00:33:28,958 --> 00:33:31,895
Down below us on your left
is the River Danube,
507
00:33:32,095 --> 00:33:35,130
and on your right,
a naked lady with a lamp.
508
00:33:38,493 --> 00:33:40,473
[ � ]
[ Bicycle Chain Rattling ]
509
00:33:45,441 --> 00:33:46,918
[ Mumbled ] Wait.
510
00:33:47,118 --> 00:33:48,488
[ Tap Followed by Sproing ]
511
00:33:50,079 --> 00:33:52,148
[ Groans ]
512
00:33:52,348 --> 00:33:54,851
[ Cynthia Laughing ]
513
00:33:55,051 --> 00:33:57,954
Oh. Oh, hello, Cynthia.
514
00:33:58,154 --> 00:34:01,090
What on earth ?
What are you doing ?
515
00:34:01,290 --> 00:34:04,796
-Oh, I'm...I'm training.
-Training for what,
the electric chair ?
516
00:34:04,996 --> 00:34:07,565
No, I'm training--
517
00:34:07,765 --> 00:34:10,267
No. You'd only laugh.
You always do.
518
00:34:10,467 --> 00:34:14,271
Well, try me.
Must be something serious to
bury yourself down here.
519
00:34:14,471 --> 00:34:17,274
It is extremely serious.
Look, can't you guess ?
520
00:34:17,474 --> 00:34:20,211
Well, it can't be running
in those boots.
521
00:34:20,411 --> 00:34:24,515
No, it's not running.
Um... watch this.
522
00:34:24,715 --> 00:34:27,116
Oh.
523
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,902
[ Metal Clanking ]
524
00:34:44,102 --> 00:34:48,039
You really are completely crazy.
Whoever wants to walk up walls ?
525
00:34:48,239 --> 00:34:51,577
- Astronauts.
- Astronauts ?
526
00:34:51,777 --> 00:34:53,512
Oh, yes, we really are going,
the professor and I.
527
00:34:53,712 --> 00:34:55,080
[ Mountjoy ]
Vincent!
Vincent
528
00:34:55,280 --> 00:34:56,882
It's Father.
529
00:34:57,082 --> 00:34:59,619
Cynthia, don't tell him.
Please don't tell him.
530
00:34:59,819 --> 00:35:02,054
Ahh, so he's not here.
So this is where he skulks.
531
00:35:02,254 --> 00:35:05,358
Look at it, punch bags !
Oh. Where is he ?
532
00:35:05,558 --> 00:35:08,928
Uh, I don't know. I just
came in here with a basket.
533
00:35:09,128 --> 00:35:11,697
Cynthia, listen.
534
00:35:11,897 --> 00:35:15,200
This boy worries me.
I think he's touched.
535
00:35:15,400 --> 00:35:18,705
This sudden mad desire to
physical fitness,
it's not healthy.
536
00:35:18,905 --> 00:35:24,076
You're an attractive girl.
Can't you interest him in more
manly things ?
537
00:35:24,276 --> 00:35:26,646
-You know what I mean.
-Well, no, I don't.
538
00:35:26,846 --> 00:35:28,681
Oh, come on !
539
00:35:28,881 --> 00:35:31,951
When I was his age,
I wasn't battering punch bags.
540
00:35:32,151 --> 00:35:35,088
There wasn't a lady-in-waiting
who had to wait a minute.
541
00:35:35,288 --> 00:35:37,625
- You know what I mean.
[ Vincent Yelps ]
542
00:35:37,825 --> 00:35:39,427
What was that ?
543
00:35:39,627 --> 00:35:43,431
I should never have sent him
to that British public school.
544
00:35:43,631 --> 00:35:48,068
Maybe it's not too late.
Perhaps he's just retarded.
545
00:35:48,268 --> 00:35:50,737
See what you can do.
546
00:35:52,673 --> 00:35:55,741
You know,
bring him down to earth.
547
00:35:58,979 --> 00:36:01,615
[ Crash then Grunts, Groaning ]
548
00:36:01,815 --> 00:36:04,953
-Are you all right ?
-Yes, I'm--
549
00:36:05,153 --> 00:36:07,255
Yes, I'm fine.
550
00:36:07,455 --> 00:36:09,857
[ Horns Honking ]
551
00:36:10,057 --> 00:36:13,495
Well, my apologies, gentlemen,
for bringing you here
on a Saturday afternoon,
552
00:36:13,695 --> 00:36:16,531
but I spent this a.m.
with the P.M.
553
00:36:16,731 --> 00:36:19,534
Well, anyway,the Prime Minister
agrees that Britain is faced...
554
00:36:19,734 --> 00:36:23,705
with an extremely serious
situation, and not one
moment must be lost--
555
00:36:23,905 --> 00:36:26,240
[ Knocking ]
Yes ?
556
00:36:28,277 --> 00:36:30,080
Ah !
[ Chuckles ]
557
00:36:30,280 --> 00:36:34,017
Tea, Smithers. Good. On a
Saturday afternoon.
Well done.
558
00:36:34,217 --> 00:36:36,219
How did you
organize that ?
559
00:36:36,419 --> 00:36:39,422
Well, you see, sir, I happen
to know just where things are.
560
00:36:39,622 --> 00:36:42,391
Ah, jolly good.
Uh, yes.
561
00:36:42,591 --> 00:36:47,062
Excellent chap, that.
A man to watch. Initiative.
562
00:36:47,262 --> 00:36:49,766
Help yourselves to sugar.
I'm afraid there are no
biscuits.
563
00:36:49,966 --> 00:36:53,069
It appears the biscuit cupboard
is kept locked over the weekend.
564
00:36:53,269 --> 00:36:55,572
Not to worry, David, old boy.
Looks like an excellent cup.
565
00:36:55,772 --> 00:36:57,908
Thank you, Simon, thank you....
Now, where was I ?
566
00:36:58,108 --> 00:37:01,411
You were saying you suspected
the biscuit cupboard was locked.
567
00:37:01,611 --> 00:37:05,248
Yes. No, no,
before that, I mean.
568
00:37:05,448 --> 00:37:07,919
Ah, yes, I remember, yes.
Our problem.
569
00:37:08,119 --> 00:37:11,523
Well, the P.M. feels that
not a moment must be lost.
570
00:37:11,723 --> 00:37:14,158
Could I have the sugar.
I missed it.
571
00:37:14,358 --> 00:37:18,195
-I'm so sorry.
-So I called this emergency
meeting.
572
00:37:18,395 --> 00:37:20,899
Well, now I was
at the conference...
573
00:37:21,099 --> 00:37:23,568
when the Americans
announced this gift
for lunar research.
574
00:37:23,768 --> 00:37:26,871
Didn't like it one bit.
The whole thing sounded
too sincere.
575
00:37:27,071 --> 00:37:29,974
Now, Hugh, you're
the space expert.
576
00:37:30,174 --> 00:37:32,209
Do you care to comment ?
577
00:37:32,409 --> 00:37:36,213
Well, $1 million is totally
inadequate for space research.
578
00:37:36,413 --> 00:37:39,751
-Hmm.
You wouldn't even buy a
secondhand spacesuit.
579
00:37:39,951 --> 00:37:43,421
Cecil, you're
the Grand Fenwick wallah.
580
00:37:43,621 --> 00:37:45,724
What's their position
in the space race ?
581
00:37:45,924 --> 00:37:48,293
Nonstarters
and no ambitions.
582
00:37:48,493 --> 00:37:51,697
Except for this Mountjoy who'd
fly to the moon in a balloon
for enough money.
583
00:37:51,897 --> 00:37:56,468
Yes. Charles,those analyst
on US aims and objectives,
584
00:37:56,668 --> 00:37:58,470
your views.
585
00:37:58,670 --> 00:38:02,241
For all their talk,the Americans
wouldn't give Fenwick a penny...
586
00:38:02,441 --> 00:38:05,178
if they had the remotest
a rocket anywhere.
587
00:38:05,378 --> 00:38:08,081
Well, there we have it.
Independent opinions from
every field agree...
588
00:38:08,281 --> 00:38:10,917
that this money was evidently
not for space research.
589
00:38:11,117 --> 00:38:14,287
And, if I may interject,
the Americans are fully aware...
590
00:38:14,487 --> 00:38:16,655
that the rest of the world
suspects this.
591
00:38:16,855 --> 00:38:19,592
Our task, therefore, is,
gentlemen, to discover...
592
00:38:19,792 --> 00:38:21,962
what the money
was really given for.
593
00:38:22,162 --> 00:38:25,065
[ Sighs ]
Come in, M.I. Five.
594
00:38:25,265 --> 00:38:29,236
Right. Some years ago,
we managed to plant...
595
00:38:29,436 --> 00:38:33,807
one of our agents inside the
Central American Intelligence Agency.
596
00:38:34,007 --> 00:38:35,809
-Jolly good.
-In Washington.
597
00:38:36,009 --> 00:38:39,280
Now, he reports
that Grand Fenwick...
598
00:38:39,480 --> 00:38:42,083
means to use this money
for plumbing for their castle.
599
00:38:42,283 --> 00:38:45,286
That's more like it.
Well, that is a relief.
600
00:38:45,486 --> 00:38:48,789
-It's the obvious answer.
-It's too obvious.
601
00:38:48,989 --> 00:38:52,026
In our opinion, the Americans
have penetrated our fellow...
602
00:38:52,226 --> 00:38:54,129
and are feeding him
false information.
603
00:38:54,329 --> 00:38:58,433
You mean, they want us to
think it's for plumbing
and it isn't ?
604
00:38:58,633 --> 00:39:02,570
Precisely.
In fact it looks like our
American cousins are up to a
nasty game.
605
00:39:02,770 --> 00:39:05,373
- A double double bluff.
- There's a third reason ?
606
00:39:05,573 --> 00:39:09,277
I'm afraid it's rather more
sinister than that.
Would you care to elaborate ?
607
00:39:09,477 --> 00:39:11,446
Certainly.
Briefly, of course.
608
00:39:11,646 --> 00:39:14,449
The Americans announced this
money is for space research.
609
00:39:14,649 --> 00:39:16,953
They know nobody
will believe this.
610
00:39:17,153 --> 00:39:19,354
They know also--
611
00:39:22,258 --> 00:39:24,525
[ Clears Throat ]
612
00:39:26,295 --> 00:39:28,097
They know al--
613
00:39:28,297 --> 00:39:32,101
They know also that attempts
will be made to discover the
real reason,
614
00:39:32,301 --> 00:39:35,039
so they're deliberately
leaking this plumbing story.
615
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:37,207
If the story's believed,
well and good.
616
00:39:37,407 --> 00:39:40,377
-If not, they're sure they'll
successfully cover the real reason.
-Which is ?
617
00:39:40,577 --> 00:39:43,746
What, in everybody's view,is the
least likely explanation ?
618
00:39:43,946 --> 00:39:45,982
That it's for rocket research.
619
00:39:46,182 --> 00:39:48,985
Therefore, that is precisely
what it is for.
620
00:39:49,185 --> 00:39:52,155
Imagine ! Doing it
openly like that.
621
00:39:52,355 --> 00:39:54,592
Knowing that
we won't believe it.
622
00:39:54,792 --> 00:39:57,628
We are very sure we are right,
but we must have proof.
623
00:39:57,828 --> 00:39:59,963
Comment again, M.I. Five.
624
00:40:00,163 --> 00:40:03,901
We're sending our top grade
agent into Grand Fenwick
posthaste.
625
00:40:04,101 --> 00:40:06,737
-He should know something about rocketry.
-He knows about everything.
626
00:40:06,937 --> 00:40:09,240
German ?
627
00:40:09,440 --> 00:40:12,877
Unfortunately, the last of our
Germans defected to the States
last month.
628
00:40:13,077 --> 00:40:15,846
Not to worry. This fellow
is a master at disguise.
629
00:40:40,605 --> 00:40:43,642
Ohh ! Wh-- Oh !
630
00:40:43,842 --> 00:40:46,645
Bonjour. Je--
Morning.
631
00:40:46,845 --> 00:40:51,049
-Oh, you speak English !
-We all speak English.
What are you speaking ?
632
00:40:52,652 --> 00:40:56,256
Well, English, of course.
I was out bird-watching.
633
00:40:56,456 --> 00:40:58,625
Could you tell me,
am I in Grand Fenwick ?
634
00:40:58,825 --> 00:41:02,328
No, it starts
just inside that gate.
635
00:41:02,528 --> 00:41:06,432
Oh, thank you.
I suppose someone will want to
see my passports--eh, port.
636
00:41:06,632 --> 00:41:09,103
Not here, they won't.
Just walk in.
637
00:41:09,303 --> 00:41:12,272
Oh, really? How primitive.
Thank you so much.
638
00:41:25,448 --> 00:41:27,283
[ � ]
639
00:41:38,966 --> 00:41:40,802
-Uh, Vincent.
-Hmm ?
640
00:41:41,002 --> 00:41:43,471
-The bobolins have
disappeared.
-Oh, what a shame.
641
00:41:43,671 --> 00:41:46,108
-Professor, will you help me to
hang myself?
-Yes.
642
00:41:46,308 --> 00:41:50,179
No, no, no, by the feet,
and keep me swinging.
643
00:41:50,379 --> 00:41:53,015
-As you wish.
-Good,Just hold that.
644
00:41:53,215 --> 00:41:55,816
-Put your foot in.
-That's it. Lovely.
645
00:42:05,793 --> 00:42:09,564
Ahhh ! Ohhh !
646
00:42:09,764 --> 00:42:12,333
[ Groaning ]
647
00:42:38,962 --> 00:42:41,565
Good heavens !
Hang on ! It's all right !
648
00:42:41,765 --> 00:42:44,834
You're saved ! Hang on !
649
00:42:45,034 --> 00:42:47,335
[ Grunting ]
Stop it !
650
00:42:48,604 --> 00:42:50,740
[ Groaning ]
651
00:42:50,940 --> 00:42:53,476
-Are you all right, dear chap ?
-A bit dizzy.
652
00:42:53,676 --> 00:42:56,512
It's inhuman, medieval.
Why ? What have you done ?
653
00:42:56,712 --> 00:43:00,251
-What brute did this ?
- Oh no, I asked Prof. Kokintz
to do it.
654
00:43:00,451 --> 00:43:03,354
-Kokintz ?
-Yes, I'm training
you see ?
655
00:43:03,554 --> 00:43:05,956
-Training ?
-I'm training to be an
astronaut.
656
00:43:06,156 --> 00:43:08,893
-Oh.
-I shouldn't have said
that.
657
00:43:09,093 --> 00:43:12,363
Nobody's supposed to know.
Forget it, I'm a monkey !
658
00:43:12,563 --> 00:43:15,399
I'm practicing to be
a monkey, not an astronaut.
659
00:43:15,599 --> 00:43:18,270
Of course, yes.
[ Laughing ]
660
00:43:18,470 --> 00:43:21,639
No sign of them.
Oh, good morning.
661
00:43:21,839 --> 00:43:24,709
-Good morning.
-Yes, Prof. Kokintz.
662
00:43:24,909 --> 00:43:27,946
Yes, I'm Morris Spender
of the E.B.W.S.
663
00:43:28,146 --> 00:43:31,283
-E.B.W.S. ?
-Yes, the English Bird-Watching
Society.
664
00:43:31,483 --> 00:43:35,020
I read your letter in the Times
rushed out here posthaste.
665
00:43:35,220 --> 00:43:39,557
- How nice.
-I say, I'd like to see those
"bolobinks."
666
00:43:39,757 --> 00:43:42,427
"Bolobinks" ?
Bobolinks !
667
00:43:42,627 --> 00:43:46,131
That's what I said, good lad.
Bobo-- Bobolinks.
668
00:43:46,331 --> 00:43:48,366
[ Laughs ]
Joke over.
669
00:43:48,566 --> 00:43:49,834
I have a very great
disappointment for you
Mr. Spender.
670
00:43:50,034 --> 00:43:52,905
-They've gone, I hope
only temporarily.
-Oh, I say !
671
00:43:53,105 --> 00:43:56,309
Never mind.
We have many other birds
worth watching.
672
00:43:56,509 --> 00:43:59,211
For example, last Sunday,
down by the river,
673
00:43:59,411 --> 00:44:01,414
I counted seven
different kinds of tit.
674
00:44:01,614 --> 00:44:03,649
Seven ?
675
00:44:03,849 --> 00:44:06,052
Come on, this way.
It's not far now.
676
00:44:06,252 --> 00:44:07,453
I say, just a minute.
Can't go through there.
677
00:44:07,653 --> 00:44:09,888
Why not ? Oh, don't
take any notice of this.
678
00:44:10,088 --> 00:44:13,460
-We're just laying the pipes for
the plumbing.
-That's not what it says.
679
00:44:13,660 --> 00:44:17,230
Our government wants the
Americans to think we're
spending their money on rockets.
680
00:44:17,430 --> 00:44:20,465
-Shall we go ?
-I'll just light my .
cigarette. Do carry on..
681
00:44:37,417 --> 00:44:40,488
Sorry. That's not in use yet.
You'll have to wait.
682
00:44:40,688 --> 00:44:42,723
Wait ? How long ?
Three weeks.
683
00:44:42,923 --> 00:44:44,925
Three weeks ?
684
00:44:45,125 --> 00:44:47,929
Oh, dear, I'll have to make
other arrangements.
685
00:44:48,129 --> 00:44:50,632
-Oh, Professor.
-Yes ?
686
00:44:50,832 --> 00:44:55,336
What's this ?
Really it's our new public
convenience.
687
00:44:55,536 --> 00:44:58,806
So much more private than the
old one. Uh-huh. Mmm. Uh-huh.
688
00:45:02,310 --> 00:45:05,313
-Seems a rather lot of
modernization going on.
-Ah, yes.
689
00:45:05,513 --> 00:45:09,251
And tonight will be a big night,
the very first trial of our
latest installation.
690
00:45:09,451 --> 00:45:10,819
Oh, really ? What ?
691
00:45:11,019 --> 00:45:14,023
The realization of our
Prime Minister's dearest
ambition.
692
00:45:14,223 --> 00:45:17,626
-The latest in plumbing. It's
unbelievable isn't it?
-Ah, plumbing.
693
00:45:17,826 --> 00:45:22,398
It's up in the north tower where
we keep the rocket, it's got
nothing to do with the rocket.
694
00:45:22,598 --> 00:45:24,834
Huh ? Oh, no.
Of course.
695
00:45:25,034 --> 00:45:26,935
Uh-huh.
696
00:45:55,698 --> 00:45:57,599
Oh, oh, oh, oh !
697
00:46:07,478 --> 00:46:09,379
Ah, door.
698
00:46:14,332 --> 00:46:17,386
[ � ]
699
00:46:48,086 --> 00:46:50,254
London.
700
00:46:54,159 --> 00:46:56,328
Oh, I say, really.
701
00:46:56,528 --> 00:46:59,178
Now stop messing around.
Which one of you has got it ?
702
00:46:59,665 --> 00:47:02,000
Come on.
Who has it ?
703
00:47:03,937 --> 00:47:06,673
-How do you do ?
[ Chuckles ]
-Bird watching.
704
00:47:06,873 --> 00:47:09,274
Sort of nearsighted.
705
00:47:14,447 --> 00:47:17,349
OK, Right.
706
00:47:43,978 --> 00:47:46,314
[ Clattering ]
707
00:47:46,514 --> 00:47:48,915
[ Grunting ]
708
00:47:58,894 --> 00:48:00,696
[ Man ]
All finished, okay.
709
00:48:00,896 --> 00:48:04,266
-Right.
Check the systems.
-All systems are okay.
710
00:48:04,466 --> 00:48:06,902
All systems A-okay ?
711
00:48:07,102 --> 00:48:09,171
All systems in good condition.
712
00:48:09,371 --> 00:48:11,674
All systems in go condition ?
713
00:48:11,874 --> 00:48:14,610
All water pressure's okay !
Right ! Let her go !
714
00:48:14,810 --> 00:48:17,712
[ Water Bubbling ]
[ Man Singing ]
715
00:48:24,986 --> 00:48:26,922
Number two boiler system,
stand by.
716
00:48:27,122 --> 00:48:29,693
- He's going up.
- Let her go when I reach one.
717
00:48:29,893 --> 00:48:33,330
- Ten, nine, eight--
- They can't.
718
00:48:33,530 --> 00:48:36,266
Seven, six, five,
719
00:48:36,466 --> 00:48:39,001
four--
720
00:48:39,201 --> 00:48:41,003
How about tea ?
Yes.
721
00:48:41,203 --> 00:48:43,005
We'll start again from three.
722
00:48:43,205 --> 00:48:45,709
[ Yells ]
723
00:48:45,909 --> 00:48:49,812
[ Singing Continues ]
724
00:48:53,717 --> 00:48:59,188
All clear. Now, we'll bolt on
the shower heads at regular
intervals all around the tail.
725
00:48:59,388 --> 00:49:02,325
-I still think they'll burn up in flight.
-I've told you before...
726
00:49:02,525 --> 00:49:05,128
You only get burning
with friction, you only
get friction with speed.
727
00:49:05,328 --> 00:49:08,464
-Our speed will be too slow.
Now lets begin here.
-Whoa !
728
00:49:11,669 --> 00:49:13,704
It's Mr. Spender.
He's hurt.
729
00:49:13,904 --> 00:49:15,805
Well, how does he come
to be here ?
730
00:49:17,641 --> 00:49:19,977
-Professor,look at this.
-What is it ?
731
00:49:20,177 --> 00:49:22,680
That's his lighter.
It's not a lighter at all.
732
00:49:22,880 --> 00:49:24,750
It's a camera. Look.
There's another one.
733
00:49:24,950 --> 00:49:28,253
- He's a spy.
- A spy ?
734
00:49:28,453 --> 00:49:31,757
What is he spying at ?
Well, us, I suppose.
735
00:49:31,957 --> 00:49:33,892
Then he did say "bolobinks."
736
00:49:34,092 --> 00:49:36,628
Hey ! Don't !
737
00:49:36,828 --> 00:49:39,097
Are you mad ?
Oh ! Uh !
738
00:49:39,297 --> 00:49:42,768
Why did you stop me ?
If I don't shoot myself you will.
739
00:49:42,968 --> 00:49:45,570
-Why should we shoot you ?
-Why ?
740
00:49:45,770 --> 00:49:48,173
Well, that's the penalty
for espionage, isn't it ?
741
00:49:48,373 --> 00:49:52,811
Oh, so you are a spy.
Well who do you spy for?
The Russians ?
742
00:49:53,011 --> 00:49:56,315
I say, steady !
No. The British.
743
00:49:56,515 --> 00:49:58,583
But the British
are our friends.
744
00:49:58,783 --> 00:50:01,554
It is disgusting, isn't it ?
745
00:50:01,754 --> 00:50:04,691
Spare my life.
Give me sanctuary.
I can't go back now.
746
00:50:04,891 --> 00:50:07,193
They're absolutely merciless to failures.
747
00:50:07,393 --> 00:50:09,295
Look, spare my life,
and I'll spill the beans.
748
00:50:09,495 --> 00:50:11,564
I'll tell you everything you
want to know about British
Intelligence.
749
00:50:11,764 --> 00:50:14,166
We don't want to know about
British Intelligence.
750
00:50:14,366 --> 00:50:19,305
Oh, yes you do.
Details of a new barracks.
751
00:50:19,505 --> 00:50:22,476
A secret installation !
752
00:50:22,676 --> 00:50:26,780
I know something absolutely
revolting about the deputy
foreign secretary.
753
00:50:26,980 --> 00:50:29,682
Just get up and tell us
why you're here.
754
00:50:29,882 --> 00:50:32,685
Hmm ? Oh, yeah.
Thank you. Oh !
755
00:50:32,885 --> 00:50:35,621
To find out
about your moon rocket.
756
00:50:35,821 --> 00:50:37,790
You've come to the right people.
What would you like to know ?
757
00:50:37,990 --> 00:50:40,661
So you don't intend sending
a manned rocket to the moon.
758
00:50:40,861 --> 00:50:43,164
Yes, we do. This one.
The professor and I are going.
759
00:50:43,364 --> 00:50:45,432
We've been working night
and day to get it ready.
760
00:50:45,632 --> 00:50:48,401
Yes, we're just
bolting these on.
761
00:50:49,970 --> 00:50:51,939
-Those are showerheads, aren't
they?
-Ah, yes.
762
00:50:52,139 --> 00:50:56,745
But we use them as stabilizing
jet to correct the altitude
of the rocket in flight.
763
00:50:56,945 --> 00:51:00,615
- You understand.
- Oh, showerheads as jets.
764
00:51:00,815 --> 00:51:04,086
Tell me. What sort of fuel
are you using, liquid or solid ?
765
00:51:04,286 --> 00:51:08,056
Neither. We're using a new
sort of atom fuel.
Pinotium 64.
766
00:51:08,256 --> 00:51:11,927
-Professor Kokintz isolated it.
-Yes,from our Grand Fenwick
wine.
767
00:51:12,127 --> 00:51:15,197
[ Laughs ]
768
00:51:15,397 --> 00:51:19,435
I take it this amazing project
has the full support
of your government.
769
00:51:19,635 --> 00:51:22,805
No. They know nothing, they
think it's a hot water system.
770
00:51:23,005 --> 00:51:26,509
- We really must tell them soon.
-Father will explode.
He's against space.
771
00:51:26,709 --> 00:51:31,647
Father-- I wonder you would
mind if I took some more
pictures.
772
00:51:31,847 --> 00:51:34,418
-Take as many as you like.
-So sorry.
773
00:51:34,618 --> 00:51:36,453
Right. Now.
[ Camera Shutter Clicks ]
774
00:51:36,653 --> 00:51:39,756
Actually, would you--
775
00:51:39,956 --> 00:51:44,093
Let's get the showerheads, eh ?
That's it. Now the furnaces.
776
00:51:44,293 --> 00:51:47,531
I shouldn't bother about the
furnaces, they've nothing to do
with the rocket the really are a
part of the heating.
777
00:51:47,731 --> 00:51:50,801
The department of Whitehall
is very keen on heating plants.
778
00:51:51,001 --> 00:51:53,604
-Why ?
[ Chuckles ]
-They haven't got any.
779
00:51:53,804 --> 00:51:57,442
I seem to think that's all;
Good-bye, Professor.
780
00:51:57,642 --> 00:51:59,476
Thank you so much.
Bye.
-Good Bye !
781
00:51:59,676 --> 00:52:02,378
-Good-bye.
-Good-bye.
782
00:52:02,578 --> 00:52:04,881
Oh, oh, I say.
783
00:52:05,081 --> 00:52:08,483
Happy landings.
[ Chuckling ]
784
00:52:10,354 --> 00:52:12,756
[ Laughing ]
785
00:52:14,424 --> 00:52:16,594
I think he's a bit mad,
Professor.
786
00:52:16,794 --> 00:52:21,965
You know something, Vincent ?
That man doesn't believe
we're really going to the moon.
787
00:52:23,734 --> 00:52:26,236
British spy, eh ?
Mm, splendid.
788
00:52:26,436 --> 00:52:28,238
I've been waiting for that.
789
00:52:28,438 --> 00:52:31,543
Now back he trots and reports
for all out on rocket research.
790
00:52:31,743 --> 00:52:33,812
-I do not think so.
-Hmm ? Why not ?
791
00:52:34,012 --> 00:52:37,816
Because we told him all these
preparations was just a bluff
to fool the Americans.
792
00:52:38,016 --> 00:52:40,819
- You what ?
-We thought he was a bird-watcher,
come to see the Bobolinks.
793
00:52:41,019 --> 00:52:42,855
We didn't know
that he was a spy until--
794
00:52:43,055 --> 00:52:44,857
The British
will tell the Americans...
795
00:52:45,057 --> 00:52:48,961
who will haul us out before the
international court of justice
for misappropriation of their funds.
796
00:52:49,161 --> 00:52:51,730
You said they knew the money
wasn't for rocket research.
797
00:52:51,930 --> 00:52:55,567
They didn't want other countries to know.
That was the whole idea.
798
00:52:55,767 --> 00:52:57,768
We are sunk.
799
00:52:59,238 --> 00:53:02,074
Not if we really could send
a rocket to the moon, Father.
800
00:53:02,274 --> 00:53:05,243
Hmm ? Hmm ?
801
00:53:09,282 --> 00:53:11,684
- Kokintz.
- [ Water Splashing ]
802
00:53:11,884 --> 00:53:13,853
You're always exploding things.
803
00:53:14,053 --> 00:53:17,624
Could you make a realistic
explosion inside that Russian
hot water heater ?
804
00:53:17,824 --> 00:53:19,626
-Russian what ?
-The rocket.
805
00:53:19,826 --> 00:53:23,296
-What's the best way of silencing criticism?
-By actually sending a rocket to the moon.
806
00:53:23,496 --> 00:53:27,101
You're learning, my boy.
We invite representatives of all
the big powers...
807
00:53:27,301 --> 00:53:29,570
to attend the launching of
our manned rocket to the moon.
808
00:53:29,770 --> 00:53:32,940
Sensation. Vincent,
you can be the astronaut.
809
00:53:33,140 --> 00:53:36,010
[ Laughing ]
They all come tongues
hanging out.
810
00:53:36,210 --> 00:53:39,813
Countdown, all systems go.
Then, bang ! She blows up.
811
00:53:40,013 --> 00:53:42,183
Tragedy, tears and,
with any luck,
812
00:53:42,383 --> 00:53:45,219
we sting 'em for another
whacking great loan.
813
00:53:45,419 --> 00:53:48,623
-Father, it won't blow up.
-Make it a small explosion loud,
but not deadly.
814
00:53:48,823 --> 00:53:51,860
Father, will you listen ?
We really are...fufunh !
[ Gags ]
815
00:53:52,060 --> 00:53:55,096
- How long would it take to mock this thing up?
- By the end of the month.
816
00:53:55,296 --> 00:53:57,566
Fine.
It's got to look real, mind.
817
00:53:57,766 --> 00:54:00,970
I'll send the invitations out
right away.
818
00:54:01,170 --> 00:54:03,238
Her Grace,
the duchess of Grand Fenwick,
819
00:54:03,438 --> 00:54:06,175
requests the pleasure of
your company to witness
the launch--
820
00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:09,644
Ho, ho, ho, ho, ho !
Their faces.
821
00:54:12,815 --> 00:54:16,285
-Where's your boss ?
-At the gym sir, getting in
shape for his weekend at
Hyannis Port.
822
00:54:16,485 --> 00:54:19,021
Something has cropped up,
Grand Fenwick-wise.
823
00:54:19,221 --> 00:54:21,090
Oh ?
824
00:54:21,290 --> 00:54:23,893
Oh, oh, no.
It's a joke.
825
00:54:24,093 --> 00:54:27,029
That had better be, Wendover.
It had better be.
826
00:54:27,229 --> 00:54:30,131
[ Speaking Russian ]
827
00:54:37,039 --> 00:54:39,174
[ Russian Continues ]
828
00:54:46,183 --> 00:54:49,152
Well, as you can see,
that's obviously plumbing.
829
00:54:49,352 --> 00:54:51,855
Uh-huh.
Uh,
830
00:54:52,055 --> 00:54:55,759
now this is a modern
public, you know..
[ Chuckles ]
831
00:54:55,959 --> 00:54:59,497
And, uh, here.
Oh, sorry about that.
832
00:54:59,697 --> 00:55:01,733
I'll explain that later.
833
00:55:01,933 --> 00:55:04,134
Now, here we come
to the rocket itself.
834
00:55:04,334 --> 00:55:06,903
Now just look at those
shower heads.
Pathetic, isn't it ?
835
00:55:07,103 --> 00:55:09,706
Absolutely no question
of genuine space research there.
836
00:55:09,906 --> 00:55:11,942
Oh, none whatsoever.
Um, sir.
837
00:55:12,142 --> 00:55:16,413
And then there's this
extraordinary invitation
to the launch.
838
00:55:16,613 --> 00:55:19,684
Yes. I say, it couldn't be a
misprint for "lunch," could it ?
839
00:55:19,884 --> 00:55:23,121
Hmm ? No, it's quite launch.
definitely. Look at it.
840
00:55:23,321 --> 00:55:25,623
Well, it's all part
of a gigantic bluff.
841
00:55:25,823 --> 00:55:28,026
-You can take that from me, sir.
-Thank you, Spender.
842
00:55:28,226 --> 00:55:30,461
Because of you, all of Britain
can sleep easier tonight.
843
00:55:30,661 --> 00:55:33,265
Thank you, sir.
One does one's best.
844
00:55:33,465 --> 00:55:36,068
� [ March ]
845
00:55:36,268 --> 00:55:38,202
[ Chattering ]
846
00:55:48,346 --> 00:55:50,247
[ Booing ]
847
00:56:03,295 --> 00:56:07,866
[ Cynthia ] Boo ! Boo !
Mountjoy to the gallows !
848
00:56:08,066 --> 00:56:11,235
[ Shouting Continues ]
849
00:56:14,274 --> 00:56:16,809
[ Cheering ]
850
00:56:23,548 --> 00:56:25,388
[ � ]
851
00:56:27,453 --> 00:56:30,390
� [ "Rule, Brittania" ]
852
00:56:30,590 --> 00:56:32,491
[ Cheering Continues ]
853
00:56:46,005 --> 00:56:47,907
� [ Volga Boatmen ]
854
00:56:53,013 --> 00:56:54,915
[ Cheering Continues ]
855
00:57:02,389 --> 00:57:04,425
[ Band Stops ]
856
00:57:04,625 --> 00:57:07,694
� [ Columbia, Gem of the Ocean ]
857
00:57:22,177 --> 00:57:25,114
[ Band Stops ]
Gentlemen,welcome to
Grand Fenwick !
858
00:57:25,314 --> 00:57:28,851
Excellency, I understand you're
sending a 2 man
expedition to the moon.
859
00:57:29,051 --> 00:57:32,588
Ah, yes, Prof. Kokintz
and my own brave son.
860
00:57:32,788 --> 00:57:34,891
It is a proud day for me.
861
00:57:35,091 --> 00:57:37,226
Kokintz ? Isn't he
a little old for this game ?
862
00:57:37,426 --> 00:57:40,296
He doesn't seem to think so.
There he is.
863
00:57:40,496 --> 00:57:44,067
Would you care to meet him ?
We still have half an hour
before takeoff.
864
00:57:44,267 --> 00:57:47,104
[ Chattering ]
865
00:57:47,304 --> 00:57:49,606
[ Ass Braying ]
866
00:57:49,806 --> 00:57:52,910
Shouldn't he be in the
capsule,going through checkout
procedures ?
867
00:57:53,110 --> 00:57:55,846
I don't know, I'm sure.
He's the expert.
868
00:57:56,046 --> 00:57:58,947
� [ Band Continues ]
869
00:58:07,391 --> 00:58:10,294
Professor.
Ah, Professor.
870
00:58:10,494 --> 00:58:14,198
Meet the distinguished
delegates from Britain,
Russia and the U.S.A.
871
00:58:14,398 --> 00:58:17,968
-Oh, how do you do ?
-They may have some
questions to ask you.
872
00:58:18,168 --> 00:58:21,739
You bet we have.
Look at those shower heads.
Just as Spender said.
873
00:58:21,939 --> 00:58:26,010
Yes. Interesting, uh...
stabilizing jets, Professor.
874
00:58:26,210 --> 00:58:28,880
[ Chuckles ]
They look like showerheads.
875
00:58:29,080 --> 00:58:32,583
They are. Very poor,
quality as you can see.
876
00:58:32,783 --> 00:58:35,987
But those would burn up
before you reached Mach two.
877
00:58:36,187 --> 00:58:39,291
Ah, yes,
but we do not reach Mach two.
878
00:58:39,491 --> 00:58:43,729
Oh, come now, Professor.
To reach escape velocity which
is, uh--
879
00:58:43,929 --> 00:58:47,299
-25,000 miles an hour.
-25,000 miles an hour.
880
00:58:47,499 --> 00:58:49,801
We do not reach
escape velocity.
881
00:58:50,001 --> 00:58:52,871
If you don't reach
you don't escape the Earth.
882
00:58:53,071 --> 00:58:57,577
Oh, yes you do.
Power and not speed is
important.
883
00:58:57,777 --> 00:59:00,780
If you have sufficient power
to overcome Earth's gravity,
884
00:59:00,980 --> 00:59:02,715
you can travel
at any speed you like.
885
00:59:02,915 --> 00:59:07,720
In theory, maybe,but you must
travel fast or your oxygen
supply runs out.
886
00:59:07,920 --> 00:59:12,258
Not us. I regenerate air
by catalytic disassociation.
887
00:59:12,458 --> 00:59:14,961
How very unpleasant for you.
888
00:59:15,161 --> 00:59:17,865
Which converts carbon dioxide
back into breathable oxygen.
889
00:59:18,065 --> 00:59:20,066
By passing it over hot platinum;
890
00:59:20,266 --> 00:59:23,637
we can rebreathe our own air...
almost indefinitely.
891
00:59:23,837 --> 00:59:28,308
Our American and Russian...
friends recon on taking
48 hours to do the trip.
892
00:59:28,508 --> 00:59:32,478
-How long will you take ?
-About 3 weeks.
We're in no hurry.
893
00:59:35,416 --> 00:59:38,553
Kokintz, make it sound
a bit more convincing.
894
00:59:38,753 --> 00:59:40,521
Three weeks ?
Honestly !
895
00:59:40,721 --> 00:59:42,989
Seeing is believing.
896
00:59:43,189 --> 00:59:48,361
Gentlemen, if you would care to
mount the gantry we might peep
into the capsule.
897
00:59:48,561 --> 00:59:50,731
-Gantry too !
-Yeah. See what I mean ?
898
00:59:50,931 --> 00:59:55,069
-And you were worried.
-An insult to British intelligence !
899
00:59:55,269 --> 00:59:57,604
Absolutely.
Spender's own words.
900
01:00:00,574 --> 01:00:03,077
[ Band Playing ]
[ Chattering, Laughing ]
901
01:00:03,277 --> 01:00:05,178
Morning.
902
01:00:11,553 --> 01:00:13,355
Charming.
903
01:00:13,555 --> 01:00:15,390
Oh, come on, aren't you
going to wish me luck ?
904
01:00:15,590 --> 01:00:17,893
-I haven't got anything to say to you.
-What's the matter ?
905
01:00:18,093 --> 01:00:22,397
"I want to be an astronaut--
the space comic hero."
906
01:00:22,597 --> 01:00:26,267
I really believed you.
I thought you were crazy but
at least sincere.
907
01:00:26,467 --> 01:00:29,237
-Well, what made you change your mind?
-Don't pretend.
908
01:00:29,437 --> 01:00:33,208
Not with me. I just heard from
father that the whole
thing's a stinking swindle...
909
01:00:33,408 --> 01:00:35,210
to get more money
out of the Americans.
910
01:00:35,410 --> 01:00:37,945
- Well ?
- I hate dishonesty.
911
01:00:40,415 --> 01:00:42,217
Cynthia, will you marry me ?
912
01:00:42,417 --> 01:00:44,787
Yes, when you've been
to the moon and back.
913
01:00:44,987 --> 01:00:47,791
Ah !
914
01:00:47,991 --> 01:00:49,793
Oh...!
915
01:00:49,993 --> 01:00:52,394
[ Footsteps Shuffling ]
916
01:00:59,602 --> 01:01:02,138
At Canaveral,
we have elevators for this.
917
01:01:02,338 --> 01:01:06,744
Ah, yes, but you have so
many postponements
up, down, up, down.
918
01:01:06,944 --> 01:01:09,113
-We go off in one.
-Excuse me, old chap.
919
01:01:09,313 --> 01:01:12,182
Haven't you started
We have no countdown yet ?
920
01:01:12,382 --> 01:01:15,482
Well, we have no countdown,
there's no one to count.
We just go.
921
01:01:42,047 --> 01:01:45,816
[ Chuckles ]
If you would...um...care to look
inside, gentlemen.
922
01:01:52,424 --> 01:01:55,827
I was asked to give you this--
the latest food and vitamin
concentrate.
923
01:01:56,027 --> 01:01:58,396
One half inch supplies
nourishment for 24 hours.
924
01:01:58,596 --> 01:02:02,969
-How very kind.
But it will not be
necessary.
-So I see.
925
01:02:03,169 --> 01:02:05,070
[ Clucking ]
926
01:02:08,474 --> 01:02:12,579
Vincent ! What on earth are you
doing with those chickens?
[ Chuckling Nervously ]
927
01:02:12,779 --> 01:02:16,482
Fresh eggs on the way up and
roast chicken coming home.
-This is the end.
928
01:02:16,682 --> 01:02:18,986
-What is ?
-I don't care what happens to
those two lunatics,
929
01:02:19,186 --> 01:02:21,488
but I'll not stand by and
witness cruelty to dumb animals.
930
01:02:21,688 --> 01:02:23,490
Those chickens
will be roasted alive.
Excuse me, do you mind ?
931
01:02:23,690 --> 01:02:26,694
Steady on sir. Remember,they
don't intend on it getting off the ground.
932
01:02:26,894 --> 01:02:28,929
I hope you're right,that's all.
[ Clucks ]
933
01:02:29,129 --> 01:02:31,030
[ Cheering ]
934
01:02:33,867 --> 01:02:36,302
� [ March ]
935
01:02:48,849 --> 01:02:52,152
Gentlemen, I don't think
I need comment...
936
01:02:52,352 --> 01:02:56,157
on what is going to happen
to that tin can, launch-wise.
937
01:02:56,357 --> 01:02:59,527
We are the joint victims
of a monstrous hoax.
938
01:02:59,727 --> 01:03:02,998
I put it to you that
we act for once in unison.
939
01:03:03,198 --> 01:03:06,367
No more loans.
I'm with you, Herbie, 100%.
940
01:03:06,567 --> 01:03:08,569
Da.
941
01:03:08,769 --> 01:03:10,670
[ Russian ]
942
01:03:15,215 --> 01:03:17,075
[ Applause ]
943
01:03:31,326 --> 01:03:33,763
Your Grace has the speech ?
944
01:03:33,963 --> 01:03:39,334
I think so. I did mislay it, but
it's somewhere very safe.
945
01:03:44,706 --> 01:03:46,607
[ Band Stops ]
946
01:03:48,110 --> 01:03:51,447
Ah, well.
One minute before she
blows...ah...blasts off.
947
01:03:51,647 --> 01:03:53,449
Aren't we a bit near,
if anything should go wrong ?
948
01:03:53,649 --> 01:03:57,154
Prof. Kokintz assures me that no
harm will come to anyone out
here when it--
949
01:03:57,354 --> 01:03:59,821
If anything should go wrong.
Splendid.
950
01:04:05,161 --> 01:04:08,765
� [ Fanfare ]
951
01:04:08,965 --> 01:04:11,500
[ Chattering ]
952
01:04:13,236 --> 01:04:16,907
My husband and I...
-He's dead. He's dead !
953
01:04:17,107 --> 01:04:19,375
[ Whispers ]
Oh, damn it.
954
01:04:19,575 --> 01:04:22,679
My late husband and I...
955
01:04:22,879 --> 01:04:25,682
have always had the welfare
of the pig breeders...
956
01:04:25,882 --> 01:04:29,120
and farmers
close to our hearts.
957
01:04:29,320 --> 01:04:31,122
[ Whispering ]
Wrong speech.
958
01:04:31,322 --> 01:04:33,858
The wrong speech ?
That was last week.
959
01:04:34,058 --> 01:04:35,927
[ Snickering ]
Moon. Space.
960
01:04:36,127 --> 01:04:38,028
Oh, to be sure.
961
01:04:42,666 --> 01:04:45,904
Improvise, Your Grace.
Improvise.
962
01:04:46,104 --> 01:04:49,040
It is with great pleasure
that I come here today,
963
01:04:50,275 --> 01:04:52,344
and I declare this bridge open.
964
01:04:52,544 --> 01:04:54,146
[ Murmuring ]
965
01:04:54,346 --> 01:04:57,614
Shouldn't we have
a bottle of champagne ?
966
01:04:59,584 --> 01:05:02,787
All systems in go condition, professor.
I'm just holding for a final check.
967
01:05:02,987 --> 01:05:05,255
What's the time
by the tower clock ?
968
01:05:06,659 --> 01:05:10,630
It's 10:58 and 12 seconds, 13,
969
01:05:10,830 --> 01:05:13,899
14, 15--
we might as well go.
970
01:05:14,099 --> 01:05:16,636
[ Hissing ]
971
01:05:16,836 --> 01:05:21,440
I'm not strapped in. professor:
I've seen films of astronauts
on the blastoff...
972
01:05:21,640 --> 01:05:23,443
and the gravitational pull
is quite tremendous...
973
01:05:23,643 --> 01:05:27,914
and that G force is building up
and tearing your face back.
974
01:05:28,114 --> 01:05:30,950
[ Muttering ]
You take milk and sugar don't
you, Vincent ?
975
01:05:31,150 --> 01:05:33,051
Yes, I--
976
01:05:36,623 --> 01:05:38,858
Professor, we're moving.
977
01:05:39,058 --> 01:05:40,860
Yes.
978
01:05:41,060 --> 01:05:45,300
Ha, ha ! Oh.
My magnetic boots. I--
979
01:05:45,500 --> 01:05:47,367
[ Crowd Cheering, Applauding ]
980
01:05:49,303 --> 01:05:52,606
That's clever.
I wonder how he worked that.
981
01:05:52,806 --> 01:05:54,775
It's stuck.
982
01:05:54,975 --> 01:05:57,344
[ Chattering ]
983
01:05:57,544 --> 01:05:59,812
Professor, we've stopped.
984
01:06:06,254 --> 01:06:08,824
[ Machine Humming ]
985
01:06:09,024 --> 01:06:11,059
[ Chattering Continues ]
986
01:06:11,259 --> 01:06:12,894
[ Cheering ]
987
01:06:13,094 --> 01:06:15,997
There's that nasty great
tin thing again, Bobo.
988
01:06:16,197 --> 01:06:18,400
Look. Sticking out
of the tower.
989
01:06:18,600 --> 01:06:21,237
Full marks.
Effective.
990
01:06:21,437 --> 01:06:23,806
Bad sound effects.
Nothing like the real thing.
991
01:06:24,006 --> 01:06:27,043
Come on, come on.
What's he playing at ?
992
01:06:27,243 --> 01:06:30,178
[ Cheering Continues ]
993
01:06:33,849 --> 01:06:36,919
It's a lie !
Optical illusion.
994
01:06:37,119 --> 01:06:39,889
Can't we go any faster ?
Who wants to go fast ?
995
01:06:40,089 --> 01:06:42,091
We'll give them a show.
They've come a long way.
996
01:06:42,291 --> 01:06:44,260
Oh. Oh !
What's the matter ?
997
01:06:44,460 --> 01:06:47,997
I forgot something.
Mountjoy, can you hear me ?
998
01:06:48,197 --> 01:06:50,900
[ Shouting ] Yes ! What do you want ?
999
01:06:51,100 --> 01:06:53,169
Don't forget to feed
the Bobolinks.
1000
01:06:53,369 --> 01:06:56,540
-Bobolinks ?
Oh, and in my laboratory a radio...
1001
01:06:56,740 --> 01:06:59,508
we'll call you once a day,
at 8:00 in the morning.
1002
01:07:00,711 --> 01:07:02,813
Huh.
1003
01:07:03,013 --> 01:07:06,450
Cynthia, I'll be back.
Wait for me.
1004
01:07:06,650 --> 01:07:08,685
[ Cheering Continues ]
1005
01:07:12,422 --> 01:07:16,626
Splendid. That's one way
to get rid of the horrid thing.
1006
01:07:22,834 --> 01:07:24,754
[ Cheering Continues ]
[ � ]
1007
01:07:25,103 --> 01:07:27,038
Old Spender's never wrong, eh ?
1008
01:07:27,238 --> 01:07:29,439
Uh, quite.
1009
01:07:35,777 --> 01:07:37,617
[ � ]
1010
01:07:41,720 --> 01:07:43,621
[ Horns Honking ]
1011
01:07:45,925 --> 01:07:47,665
[ Crash ]
1012
01:07:52,999 --> 01:07:55,268
This is the BBC home service.
1013
01:07:55,468 --> 01:07:57,938
Here is the news.
1014
01:07:58,138 --> 01:08:01,007
Yesterday morning at 11:00, the
Duchy of Grand Fenwick
launched...
1015
01:08:01,207 --> 01:08:03,209
a two-man rocket
toward the moon.
1016
01:08:03,409 --> 01:08:05,478
Officials report...
1017
01:08:05,678 --> 01:08:09,450
that the rocket is on course and
should undoubtedly reach its objective.
1018
01:08:09,650 --> 01:08:12,653
This unexpected achievement has
been welcomed throughout the
world...
1019
01:08:12,853 --> 01:08:16,256
as an example of true
international co�peration
in space.
1020
01:08:16,456 --> 01:08:19,426
The rocket's nuclear fuel
was developed by Grand Fenwick,
1021
01:08:19,626 --> 01:08:21,762
the rocket itself
originated in Russia...
1022
01:08:21,962 --> 01:08:25,031
and the entire operation has
been financed by the United
States.
1023
01:08:25,231 --> 01:08:27,902
The wristwatch worn
by astronaut Vincent Mountjoy...
1024
01:08:28,102 --> 01:08:30,037
is of British design
and manufacture,
1025
01:08:30,237 --> 01:08:33,040
purchased by the space man
while a student in England.
1026
01:08:33,240 --> 01:08:36,544
It is a stainless steel, antimagnetic
self-winding watch,
1027
01:08:36,744 --> 01:08:39,113
shock proof and waterproof.
1028
01:08:39,313 --> 01:08:42,951
One of our correspondents, who visited
the Manchester factory where it was made,
1029
01:08:43,151 --> 01:08:46,655
found workers and management
proud and elated that a British
precision instrument...
1030
01:08:46,855 --> 01:08:50,092
is playing such a vital role
in man's greatest venture.
1031
01:08:50,292 --> 01:08:53,695
Their feelings were summed up by
Mr. Albert Thorpe,
foreman of the works,
1032
01:08:53,895 --> 01:08:56,764
who said,
"This is a great day for us...
1033
01:08:56,964 --> 01:09:00,134
Let no one say,
Britain is lagging behind."
1034
01:09:00,334 --> 01:09:03,739
Meanwhile, in Grand Fenwick,
national pride runs high,
1035
01:09:03,939 --> 01:09:06,742
and there is natural jubilation
in official government circles.
1036
01:09:06,942 --> 01:09:10,880
Answer me, answer me you traitors !
1037
01:09:11,080 --> 01:09:12,915
Hello ! Hello ?
1038
01:09:13,115 --> 01:09:17,185
The Americans will never
forgive us for this.
You realize that, hmm ?
1039
01:09:17,385 --> 01:09:19,989
Never ! Hello !
1040
01:09:20,189 --> 01:09:23,092
Why does he have to choose
this unearthly hour ?
1041
01:09:23,292 --> 01:09:25,795
8:00 in the morning !
Hello ?
1042
01:09:25,995 --> 01:09:28,965
Are you there,
you moonstruck monsters ?
1043
01:09:29,165 --> 01:09:33,336
No good. Not a sigh.
-You ask me they'll never come
back.
1044
01:09:33,536 --> 01:09:36,705
[ Prof. Kokintz ]
Oh yes we will.
Five thousand miles out--
1045
01:09:36,905 --> 01:09:38,741
Come back ! Do you hear me ?
Come back !
1046
01:09:38,941 --> 01:09:42,111
You turn that bucket around and
come back or I'll have you
beheaded !
1047
01:09:42,311 --> 01:09:44,915
Don't forget to feed
the Bobolinks, please.
1048
01:09:45,115 --> 01:09:46,983
Over and out.
1049
01:09:47,183 --> 01:09:50,787
Computer's figures, sir.
Speed, 450 miles per hour.
1050
01:09:50,987 --> 01:09:54,591
Estimated time of lunar impact,
September 3 at 0600 hours.
1051
01:09:54,791 --> 01:09:57,360
Elapsed time of journey will
have taken 3 weeks,
two days,
1052
01:09:57,560 --> 01:09:59,995
three hours,
27 minutes and--
1053
01:10:01,598 --> 01:10:05,501
Mr. Secretary, they're waiting
for you in the conference room.
1054
01:10:09,573 --> 01:10:12,475
[ Speaking Russian ]
1055
01:10:18,984 --> 01:10:20,885
[ Russian Continues ]
1056
01:10:28,044 --> 01:10:29,364
[ Whooshing in Space ]
1057
01:10:31,829 --> 01:10:35,100
Well, come along, Vincent...
your move.
1058
01:10:35,300 --> 01:10:37,200
[ Sighs ]
1059
01:10:40,572 --> 01:10:42,473
[ Clicks Tongue ]
1060
01:10:46,312 --> 01:10:48,114
Your move.
1061
01:10:48,314 --> 01:10:51,150
Come on, professor, can't we go
any faster ? There's no atmosphere
and there's no friction !
1062
01:10:51,350 --> 01:10:54,153
But there are micrometeorites
of which we know very little.
1063
01:10:54,353 --> 01:10:57,522
If we take silly risks, we'll
only end up with egg on our
face.
1064
01:10:59,025 --> 01:11:02,229
The bare fact is
we have egg all over our face.
1065
01:11:02,429 --> 01:11:04,564
Well, sir, they haven't
got there yet.
1066
01:11:04,764 --> 01:11:08,535
They still got two men, 20,000
miles further into space
than we ever got a monkey.
1067
01:11:08,735 --> 01:11:11,570
The president wants to know,
what are we going to do ?
1068
01:11:11,770 --> 01:11:16,309
We send our rocket now, and
we'll be there in 48 hours.
Days ahead of them !
1069
01:11:16,509 --> 01:11:19,446
Don't forget the Russians.
Do you think they'll wait ?
1070
01:11:19,646 --> 01:11:24,018
We shouldn't do it. That's the
big bully pushing the little
guy aside to snatch the prize.
1071
01:11:24,218 --> 01:11:28,255
After all, we're the ones who
have been pumping for the
internationalization of space.
1072
01:11:28,455 --> 01:11:30,390
So are the Russians,
but do you think they'll wait ?
1073
01:11:30,590 --> 01:11:34,162
I don't care about the Russians.
It's what the world thinks of us
that matters.
1074
01:11:34,362 --> 01:11:38,800
-"Grand Fenwick to beat U.S. to moon."
-Using Last Year's Wine Crop" !
1075
01:11:39,000 --> 01:11:40,935
Don't forget the Russians.
Do you think they'll wait ?
1076
01:11:41,135 --> 01:11:44,572
Gentlemen,
I suggest a compromise.
1077
01:11:44,772 --> 01:11:48,376
We can calculate the exact time
of impact of the Fenwick rocket.
1078
01:11:48,576 --> 01:11:51,413
We blast off
and get there at the same time.
1079
01:11:51,613 --> 01:11:54,383
And then announce that we only
sent 2 of our boys
to stand by...
1080
01:11:54,583 --> 01:11:56,885
in case the Fenwick boys
get into any trouble.
1081
01:11:57,085 --> 01:11:59,721
Now you're talking, sir !
1082
01:11:59,921 --> 01:12:01,923
And if the Russians won't wait ?
1083
01:12:02,123 --> 01:12:04,926
We give them no chance
of launching within two months.
1084
01:12:05,126 --> 01:12:07,796
That's a good idea,but what
if on that day
the weather is bad ?
1085
01:12:07,996 --> 01:12:10,099
Our man Columbus
didn't wait for good weather.
1086
01:12:10,299 --> 01:12:12,502
Our man ?
Surely he was an Italian ?
1087
01:12:12,702 --> 01:12:15,271
So was my grandfather.
Any objections ?
1088
01:12:15,471 --> 01:12:17,840
Gentlemen, please.
Okay, Von Neidel ?
1089
01:12:18,040 --> 01:12:20,243
You have over two weeks.
You have the ball.
1090
01:12:20,443 --> 01:12:22,278
-Don't fumble it.
-Yes, sir.
1091
01:12:22,478 --> 01:12:25,348
Heil ! Uh.
1092
01:12:25,548 --> 01:12:27,184
I'll remember, sir.
1093
01:12:27,384 --> 01:12:30,386
[ Speaking Russian ]
1094
01:12:38,495 --> 01:12:41,397
[ Radio Beeping ]
1095
01:12:54,511 --> 01:12:56,714
-The radio is dead.
-What does that mean ?
1096
01:12:56,914 --> 01:12:59,550
Nothing, except we can't report
our progress or position.
1097
01:12:59,750 --> 01:13:01,552
Oh.
[ Chicken Clucking ]
1098
01:13:01,752 --> 01:13:05,555
- Oh, Clara.
There's a good girl !
1099
01:13:08,060 --> 01:13:10,195
Oh, now you've upset
my calculations.
1100
01:13:10,395 --> 01:13:12,731
Well, I only pulled it down
from there.
1101
01:13:12,931 --> 01:13:15,734
You've accelerated us.
We'll get there sooner,
1102
01:13:15,934 --> 01:13:17,736
probably land on the dark side
of the moon.
1103
01:13:17,936 --> 01:13:21,138
[ Chuckles ]
Good old Clara.
1104
01:13:29,481 --> 01:13:34,052
Ten, nine, eight, seven,
1105
01:13:34,252 --> 01:13:37,089
six, five, four--
1106
01:13:37,289 --> 01:13:40,191
Make it go.
[ Russian ]
1107
01:13:44,364 --> 01:13:46,264
[ Laughing ]
[ Laughing ]
1108
01:13:48,634 --> 01:13:51,304
We cooked up a little extra
something which will
please you, moon-wise.
1109
01:13:51,504 --> 01:13:53,539
What ? Von Neidel
packed in an extra punch.
1110
01:13:53,739 --> 01:13:56,042
We shall get there first,
in under 36 hours.
1111
01:13:56,242 --> 01:13:58,645
Our boys will be raising
Old Glory on the moon.
1112
01:13:58,845 --> 01:14:00,746
[ Russian Continues ]
1113
01:14:05,904 --> 01:14:07,644
[ � ]
1114
01:14:11,813 --> 01:14:13,693
[ Motor Whooshing ]
1115
01:14:30,777 --> 01:14:32,678
[ Thud ]
1116
01:14:39,820 --> 01:14:41,988
I can't see a thing,
Professor.
1117
01:14:45,960 --> 01:14:50,732
Helmets on.
Get the flag.
[ Laughs ]
1118
01:14:50,932 --> 01:14:53,300
Oh, Professor, look.
1119
01:14:54,035 --> 01:14:56,339
It's-- Ow !
1120
01:14:56,539 --> 01:14:59,374
Where is this garbage
coming from ?
1121
01:14:59,574 --> 01:15:01,609
It's ours.
It followed us through space.
1122
01:15:01,809 --> 01:15:05,580
A disgrace.
Wherever civilization goes
garbage is sure to follow.
1123
01:15:05,780 --> 01:15:09,384
I'll plant the flag, Professor.
[ Screams ]
1124
01:15:09,584 --> 01:15:12,889
Professor, get me out !
It's as I feared.
1125
01:15:13,089 --> 01:15:15,624
Craters full of dust.
Pull !
1126
01:15:15,824 --> 01:15:19,095
This moon is a nice place to
visit, but I wouldn't
like to live here.
1127
01:15:19,295 --> 01:15:21,330
That's right.
Oh.
1128
01:15:21,530 --> 01:15:23,332
You all right ?
Yes.
1129
01:15:23,532 --> 01:15:25,368
Now go plant the flag.
But it's--
1130
01:15:25,568 --> 01:15:27,703
Between craters it's perfectly
all right, quite firm.
1131
01:15:27,903 --> 01:15:29,870
And wait for me.
1132
01:15:36,679 --> 01:15:39,915
� [ Phonograph Playing 'Fenwick Anthem' ]
1133
01:15:43,720 --> 01:15:45,620
Oh !
1134
01:15:46,822 --> 01:15:49,025
[ Record Scratching ]
1135
01:15:49,225 --> 01:15:53,461
Right. Now go and get me some
little stones to take
back as specimens.
1136
01:16:02,339 --> 01:16:04,174
Ah !
1137
01:16:04,374 --> 01:16:08,012
Oh ! Oh.
1138
01:16:08,212 --> 01:16:12,683
Mountjoy, rock jumper supreme !
Wow !
1139
01:16:12,883 --> 01:16:14,784
Boom ! Hmm.
1140
01:16:16,154 --> 01:16:20,257
Vincent the crater leaper !
[ Shouting ]
1141
01:16:21,626 --> 01:16:24,128
Mmmmm !
[ Chuckles ]
1142
01:16:24,328 --> 01:16:28,231
Vincent the human kangaroo !
1143
01:16:30,035 --> 01:16:31,603
Come on !
1144
01:16:31,803 --> 01:16:33,170
We've work to do.
1145
01:16:42,313 --> 01:16:45,384
Here you are, Professor.
1146
01:16:45,584 --> 01:16:47,954
-Here you are.
-No, Vincent !
1147
01:16:48,154 --> 01:16:50,957
I said little stones.
How can we take that back ?
1148
01:16:51,157 --> 01:16:55,127
-I can't help it. There's nothing between this--
-It's no use. Throw it away.
1149
01:16:55,327 --> 01:16:56,963
[ Grunts ]
1150
01:16:57,163 --> 01:17:00,099
[ Rock Thumps ]
Professor, look.
1151
01:17:00,299 --> 01:17:02,034
Shooting stars.
Two of them.
1152
01:17:02,234 --> 01:17:05,904
Those are not shooting stars.
I think we have company.
1153
01:17:13,580 --> 01:17:16,149
The United States and Russia.
A dead heat.
1154
01:17:16,349 --> 01:17:18,250
Come on.
Let's see who they are.
1155
01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:29,862
How is it out there ?
Let's get the flag up.
1156
01:17:31,398 --> 01:17:34,435
I claim this
American territory.
1157
01:17:34,635 --> 01:17:38,072
I claim this planet for the
Union of Soviet Socialist
Republics...
1158
01:17:38,272 --> 01:17:40,409
and the workers
of the world.
1159
01:17:40,609 --> 01:17:41,876
Good evening, gentlemen.
1160
01:17:42,076 --> 01:17:44,346
Grand Fenwick welcomes you
to its moon.
1161
01:17:44,546 --> 01:17:47,315
Could I see your passports
and vaccination certificates please ?
1162
01:17:47,515 --> 01:17:51,153
What are you doing here ?
You're not due for 48 hours yet.
1163
01:17:51,353 --> 01:17:54,256
Yes, I'm so sorry. We ran
a little ahead of schedule.
1164
01:17:54,456 --> 01:17:58,428
I'm afraid you'll have to take down these flags.
Ours is already planted. Look !
1165
01:17:58,628 --> 01:18:02,330
I will never take away our
glorious flag from this planet.
1166
01:18:02,530 --> 01:18:06,435
[ Russian ]
Well I'm not making any
speeches but ours stays.
1167
01:18:06,635 --> 01:18:10,405
There, you see ?
Here 5 minutes and already an
argument.
1168
01:18:10,605 --> 01:18:13,508
We only came
to see if we could help.
1169
01:18:13,708 --> 01:18:15,578
Professor,
what are the Russians doing ?
1170
01:18:15,778 --> 01:18:18,615
Oh, well, I think
they're building a wall.
1171
01:18:18,815 --> 01:18:21,718
Oi, comrades, perhaps you could
adjourn to our capsule,
1172
01:18:21,918 --> 01:18:24,520
and we could discuss granting
you temporary visas.
1173
01:18:24,720 --> 01:18:28,157
Now what exactly is the purpose of
your visit, and how long are you going to stay ?
1174
01:18:28,357 --> 01:18:32,328
Have you got any gum ?
You come here in 36 hours and we
take three weeks.
1175
01:18:32,528 --> 01:18:34,863
It's marvelous
what modern science can do.
1176
01:18:36,867 --> 01:18:39,470
Here we are, gentlemen.
Fried chicken.
1177
01:18:39,670 --> 01:18:42,807
We ran out of steaks last Thursday.
Leg or wing ?
1178
01:18:43,007 --> 01:18:44,809
No, thanks.
Oh, what's that ?
1179
01:18:45,009 --> 01:18:47,644
Irish stew, I think.
And that ?
1180
01:18:47,844 --> 01:18:51,014
Beef Stroganoff.
How nice and so modern too.
1181
01:18:51,214 --> 01:18:54,719
Thank you, Vincent.
Are you sure you won't join us ?
1182
01:18:54,919 --> 01:18:57,322
Well, uh,
just to be polite.
1183
01:18:57,522 --> 01:19:00,391
Good. I bet they'll be surprised back
home if they could see us now !
1184
01:19:00,591 --> 01:19:03,161
They sure would be.
They don't even know if
we're alive.
1185
01:19:03,361 --> 01:19:06,164
Our radios wouldn't work up
here. We lost contact
just before impact.
1186
01:19:06,364 --> 01:19:08,233
The same with us. Nothing.
1187
01:19:08,433 --> 01:19:11,302
- Ours broke down on the way.
- Nobody knows anything.
1188
01:19:11,502 --> 01:19:13,839
-Not even who got here first.
-What's it matter who got here
first ?
1189
01:19:14,039 --> 01:19:15,841
You can say that.
You did it.
1190
01:19:16,041 --> 01:19:19,978
We got here first by a couple
hours but what's that
mean in 1,000 years ? Nothing.
1191
01:19:20,178 --> 01:19:21,980
Yeah.
I guess you're right.
1192
01:19:22,180 --> 01:19:25,484
[ Russian ]
-It's not important who gets here first.
1193
01:19:25,684 --> 01:19:28,820
The men who will be remembered,
who will get the big welcome,
1194
01:19:29,020 --> 01:19:30,823
will be the men
who get back first.
1195
01:19:31,023 --> 01:19:33,893
The glory,the public acclaim,
the hero worship.
1196
01:19:34,093 --> 01:19:36,062
The prestige.
That awful word-- prestige--
1197
01:19:36,262 --> 01:19:38,464
goes always to the first.
1198
01:19:38,664 --> 01:19:42,869
It's sad. It's shameful. But it is
a fact and we must face it.
1199
01:19:43,069 --> 01:19:45,872
Well, thanks for the meal.
We hate to eat and run.
1200
01:19:46,072 --> 01:19:49,677
But we do have some work to do,
and well, we've got to fix our radio.
1201
01:19:49,877 --> 01:19:53,113
Thanks for the dinner and everything,
but we really must be going.
1202
01:19:53,313 --> 01:19:56,548
[ Russian ]
- But we've got pudding.
1203
01:19:57,928 --> 01:19:59,538
[ � ]
1204
01:20:01,675 --> 01:20:03,355
[ Clank ]
1205
01:20:04,824 --> 01:20:06,626
I'm sorry, Professor.
- Hmm ?
1206
01:20:06,826 --> 01:20:08,997
After all our hard work too.
What are we going to do ?
1207
01:20:09,197 --> 01:20:12,432
What can we do ?
We take 3 weeks to get back they
take 36 hours.
1208
01:20:14,835 --> 01:20:17,504
They're going
into the wrong capsules.
1209
01:20:23,443 --> 01:20:27,182
Professor, this is terrible.
You spent 15 years isolating--
1210
01:20:27,382 --> 01:20:32,452
Oh, keep calm. The tortoise can
not turn into a hare.
It's foolish if he wants to.
1211
01:20:33,047 --> 01:20:34,787
[ Explosions ]
1212
01:20:39,327 --> 01:20:41,962
Do you still want
to be a hare, Vincent ?
1213
01:20:43,097 --> 01:20:44,998
Serve the pudding.
1214
01:20:46,168 --> 01:20:48,069
[ Solemn Drumming ]
1215
01:20:57,313 --> 01:20:59,247
� [ Band Plays Dirge ]
1216
01:21:17,366 --> 01:21:19,168
-Bobo.
-Your Grace ?
1217
01:21:19,368 --> 01:21:22,205
What ever happened to that
nasty, great, tin thing ?
1218
01:21:22,405 --> 01:21:24,907
Tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk, tsk.
1219
01:21:28,645 --> 01:21:31,649
My friends,
it is now many weeks...
1220
01:21:31,849 --> 01:21:35,051
since Prof. Kokintz and my--
1221
01:21:35,251 --> 01:21:37,921
and Vincent of Mountjoy...
1222
01:21:38,121 --> 01:21:40,825
set forth
on man's greatest quest--
1223
01:21:41,025 --> 01:21:42,860
a journey from which...
1224
01:21:43,060 --> 01:21:44,996
they will never return.
1225
01:21:45,196 --> 01:21:47,432
Today we pay tribute to them...
1226
01:21:47,632 --> 01:21:49,967
and to the four other
gallant astronauts,
1227
01:21:50,167 --> 01:21:52,103
American and Russian,
1228
01:21:52,303 --> 01:21:55,039
who strove to make
the same journey...
1229
01:21:55,239 --> 01:21:58,643
and who also perished
in the vast abyss of space.
1230
01:21:58,843 --> 01:22:01,013
Bravo ! Well said ! Now ?
1231
01:22:01,213 --> 01:22:03,448
Not yet.
1232
01:22:03,648 --> 01:22:06,985
I say they did not fail !
1233
01:22:07,185 --> 01:22:09,822
Side by side,
1234
01:22:10,022 --> 01:22:13,625
in comradeship and in grief,
1235
01:22:13,825 --> 01:22:18,364
are gathered the
representatives of the most
powerful nations on earth.
1236
01:22:18,564 --> 01:22:22,168
Not only to witness
the unveiling of a monument,
1237
01:22:22,368 --> 01:22:25,104
but to swear a solemn oath--
1238
01:22:25,304 --> 01:22:27,573
that never again...
1239
01:22:27,773 --> 01:22:30,176
shall man race
to conquer the cosmos.
1240
01:22:30,376 --> 01:22:33,012
So lift up your hearts.
1241
01:22:33,212 --> 01:22:36,116
Lift up your heads !
1242
01:22:36,316 --> 01:22:39,784
Gaze up at the sky and--
1243
01:22:41,820 --> 01:22:44,689
[ Whirring ]
1244
01:22:54,801 --> 01:22:57,471
Mind the way, please.
We're coming down.
1245
01:22:57,671 --> 01:22:59,240
[ Cheering ]
1246
01:22:59,440 --> 01:23:02,076
[ Rocket Lands ]
1247
01:23:02,276 --> 01:23:05,179
[ Cheering Continues ]
1248
01:23:05,379 --> 01:23:08,048
-Kokintz !
-How nice of you to be waiting.
1249
01:23:08,248 --> 01:23:10,417
I'm sorry we're so late,
but we had a--
1250
01:23:10,617 --> 01:23:13,755
-My boy ! My boy !
-How did you find our boys ?
1251
01:23:13,955 --> 01:23:16,224
Yes, they're here.
Cynthia.
1252
01:23:16,424 --> 01:23:18,426
- Kokintz, ha, ha !
- Oh !
1253
01:23:18,626 --> 01:23:20,794
Who got there first ?
We did.
1254
01:23:20,994 --> 01:23:23,764
Did you plant the flag ?
Yes, we planted all the flags.
1255
01:23:23,964 --> 01:23:26,867
What ? You idiot !
We needed the moon !
1256
01:23:27,067 --> 01:23:30,671
- How did they beat you to it ?
- Gentlemen, the moon is ours.
1257
01:23:30,871 --> 01:23:33,408
- We got there first.
-We only have your word for
that.
1258
01:23:33,608 --> 01:23:35,676
How dare you doubt my word ?
1259
01:23:35,876 --> 01:23:38,346
Doubt your word ?
You're the biggest 2 faced liar
I ever met.
1260
01:23:38,546 --> 01:23:40,515
Benter, hit him !
1261
01:23:40,715 --> 01:23:42,750
Wendover,
don't just stand there !
1262
01:23:42,950 --> 01:23:44,786
Approach that man !
Assault him !
1263
01:23:44,986 --> 01:23:47,053
[ Crowd Shouting, Chattering ]
1264
01:23:49,691 --> 01:23:53,291
Is it true what Spender's been
saying about the deputy
foreign secretary ?
1265
01:23:54,896 --> 01:23:57,633
And so, with a full heart,
I say,
1266
01:23:57,833 --> 01:24:02,170
God bless this ship
and all who sail on her.
1267
01:24:04,155 --> 01:24:05,730
[Shouting, Chattering Continue]
105762
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