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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:00,227 --> 00:00:01,743 Previously, on "Mom"... 2 00:00:01,828 --> 00:00:03,687 I just got a text from my son. 3 00:00:03,836 --> 00:00:05,275 He hasn't spoken to me in years. 4 00:00:05,359 --> 00:00:07,930 I chose booze over my own son. 5 00:00:08,014 --> 00:00:09,889 Marjorie would love to babysit. 6 00:00:09,973 --> 00:00:11,151 Well, that's too bad. 7 00:00:11,235 --> 00:00:12,935 She's made her choices, and I've made mine. 8 00:00:13,019 --> 00:00:15,196 Jerry decided that he wants his daughter 9 00:00:15,281 --> 00:00:17,625 to have a relationship with her grandma. 10 00:00:18,718 --> 00:00:19,905 Hey.Hey. 11 00:00:19,998 --> 00:00:21,421 Your husband's a dick. 12 00:00:22,163 --> 00:00:24,156 Fine. And you? 13 00:00:25,070 --> 00:00:26,586 Out of nowhere, Adam said 14 00:00:26,671 --> 00:00:28,157 I'm not allowed in his office anymore. 15 00:00:28,242 --> 00:00:30,196 Well, he is a little funny about his privacy. 16 00:00:30,281 --> 00:00:32,056 You know I'm not allowed in his jacket pockets? 17 00:00:32,140 --> 00:00:33,869 We're married, and I can't have a Tic Tac? 18 00:00:33,999 --> 00:00:35,917 Hmm. Or a twenty. 19 00:00:36,100 --> 00:00:37,750 I've worked at the bar for over a year. 20 00:00:37,835 --> 00:00:39,840 Obviously, it's 'cause I'm an ex-con. 21 00:00:39,987 --> 00:00:41,118 You want me to talk to him for you? 22 00:00:41,202 --> 00:00:43,703 I'll probably forget, but I'm happy to offer. - No. 23 00:00:43,832 --> 00:00:45,399 I'm just gonna act like I'm over it, 24 00:00:45,484 --> 00:00:47,050 and really resent him behind his back. 25 00:00:47,135 --> 00:00:48,615 - That's what I do. - Mm. 26 00:00:49,656 --> 00:00:50,837 Thank you, Ginny. 27 00:00:50,921 --> 00:00:52,218 This is perfect. 28 00:00:52,444 --> 00:00:54,086 What's with the baby bouncer? 29 00:00:54,171 --> 00:00:56,546 Is Majorie treating her cats like people again? 30 00:00:56,726 --> 00:00:59,237 I mean, the stroller was embarrassing enough. 31 00:00:59,444 --> 00:01:01,640 She's babysitting her granddaughter tomorrow. 32 00:01:01,725 --> 00:01:03,008 That's huge! 33 00:01:03,093 --> 00:01:04,634 How come nobody told me? 34 00:01:04,718 --> 00:01:07,305 She didtell you. She told all of us. 35 00:01:07,390 --> 00:01:09,682 Yeah, we talked about it for most of lunch the other day. 36 00:01:09,875 --> 00:01:11,423 Well, I must've been in the bathroom. 37 00:01:11,507 --> 00:01:15,079 No, you were there, and engaged in the conversation. 38 00:01:15,163 --> 00:01:17,079 - Really? - Yeah, you told her you didn't think 39 00:01:17,164 --> 00:01:18,169 she was ready for it. 40 00:01:18,253 --> 00:01:19,997 Then you ate my fries, and told Wendy 41 00:01:20,081 --> 00:01:22,617 her blouse was sadder than The Notebook. 42 00:01:23,421 --> 00:01:24,960 Oh. That sounds like me. 43 00:01:25,045 --> 00:01:26,615 Look what Ginny lent me. 44 00:01:26,700 --> 00:01:27,962 I know, because you're babysitting 45 00:01:28,046 --> 00:01:29,710 your granddaughter tomorrow. I remember. 46 00:01:29,795 --> 00:01:33,195 How? You weren't even at lunch when I told everybody. 47 00:01:33,882 --> 00:01:35,796 You are both mean. 48 00:01:37,461 --> 00:01:40,430 Ooh. I had so much fun messing with her head. 49 00:01:40,515 --> 00:01:41,797 Can we make that a new thing? 50 00:01:41,882 --> 00:01:42,984 Let's make that our new thing. 51 00:01:43,068 --> 00:01:46,225 Oh, you don't have much going on, do you? 52 00:01:47,607 --> 00:01:49,467 *MOM* Season 07 Episode 18 53 00:01:49,552 --> 00:01:51,445 Episode Title: "A Judgy Face and Your Grandma's Drawers" Aired on: March 12, 2020 54 00:01:51,530 --> 00:01:53,273 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 55 00:01:53,358 --> 00:01:55,062 Sync corrections by srjanapala 56 00:01:56,938 --> 00:01:58,907 Okay, uh, we both have our cell phones, 57 00:01:58,992 --> 00:02:02,032 but just in case, I'm sending you the numbers to the church, 58 00:02:02,117 --> 00:02:04,110 the reception hall and the bride and groom. 59 00:02:04,195 --> 00:02:05,851 Please don't call the bride and groom. 60 00:02:05,935 --> 00:02:07,505 I won't. 61 00:02:07,589 --> 00:02:10,507 Don't worry. Sophia and I are gonna be fine. 62 00:02:10,599 --> 00:02:12,148 - Hear that? Let's go. - I just... 63 00:02:12,265 --> 00:02:13,883 I want to cover everything in the diaper bag. 64 00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,875 Let's go. I haven't had a drink in 17 months. 65 00:02:16,960 --> 00:02:19,984 If we're bragging, I haven't had one in 38 years. 66 00:02:20,351 --> 00:02:21,898 Should we leave her the car seat? 67 00:02:21,983 --> 00:02:23,773 Actually, I bought one. 68 00:02:23,996 --> 00:02:25,000 Oh, all right. 69 00:02:25,085 --> 00:02:26,984 Uh, well, then let me double-check it 70 00:02:27,069 --> 00:02:29,857 'cause 74% of car seats are installed wrong. 71 00:02:30,046 --> 00:02:32,269 I had it installed at the fire station. 72 00:02:32,353 --> 00:02:33,923 We didn't even do that. 73 00:02:34,328 --> 00:02:35,531 Thank you, Marjorie. 74 00:02:35,616 --> 00:02:36,199 Mm-hmm. 75 00:02:36,284 --> 00:02:39,734 Goodbye, smushie. I love you somuch. 76 00:02:39,819 --> 00:02:41,171 Jerry, get in the car. 77 00:02:41,374 --> 00:02:42,552 Okay. 78 00:02:42,668 --> 00:02:44,670 Have a nice time. 79 00:02:46,518 --> 00:02:47,936 Okay. 80 00:02:48,210 --> 00:02:51,812 You and Grandma are gonna have fun today. 81 00:02:51,897 --> 00:02:53,597 Let me show you around my house. 82 00:02:54,147 --> 00:02:56,679 Okay, this is the kitchen, 83 00:02:57,358 --> 00:03:00,156 and this is the living room. 84 00:03:01,145 --> 00:03:03,992 And that's cat barf I just stepped in. 85 00:03:04,505 --> 00:03:06,946 Oh, which one of you did this? 86 00:03:07,093 --> 00:03:10,265 We're gonna have to interrogate the cats. 87 00:03:12,044 --> 00:03:13,710 Thank you so much. 88 00:03:13,795 --> 00:03:16,703 I've never seen Boz Scaggs this sick. 89 00:03:17,156 --> 00:03:20,796 All right, so, Dr. Feeny doesn't work on the weekends, so, 90 00:03:20,881 --> 00:03:23,085 if they say that it's his liver, it's not. 91 00:03:23,170 --> 00:03:24,874 Those enzymes are always elevated. 92 00:03:24,959 --> 00:03:28,313 And if they try to give him amoxicillin, that is a big "no." 93 00:03:28,398 --> 00:03:29,489 Marjorie? 94 00:03:29,574 --> 00:03:31,414 Mm. You're right. 95 00:03:31,499 --> 00:03:32,679 You can handle it. 96 00:03:32,764 --> 00:03:35,570 Actually, I was gonna say I can't handle it. 97 00:03:36,101 --> 00:03:37,898 How about I stay here with the baby, 98 00:03:37,983 --> 00:03:39,953 and you take the cat to the vet? 99 00:03:40,116 --> 00:03:43,732 No. This is the first time my son is leaving her with me, 100 00:03:43,816 --> 00:03:45,096 and if anything happened... Hey. 101 00:03:45,295 --> 00:03:47,300 I kept two kids alive. 102 00:03:47,624 --> 00:03:49,999 They're not really talking to me, but they're alive. 103 00:03:50,083 --> 00:03:51,945 Okay. 104 00:03:52,030 --> 00:03:53,867 - Mm-hmm. - Okay. 105 00:03:54,132 --> 00:03:55,874 I'll be right back. 106 00:03:55,983 --> 00:03:57,640 Call me if you need me. 107 00:03:57,873 --> 00:03:59,443 Oh, oh, oh, I'm blocking you in. 108 00:03:59,578 --> 00:04:01,141 Here. Oh, just take my car. 109 00:04:01,561 --> 00:04:03,388 Oh. 110 00:04:04,211 --> 00:04:06,238 You know we'll never be able to do that again. 111 00:04:06,495 --> 00:04:08,453 Why would we need to? 112 00:04:10,969 --> 00:04:12,375 Bye, Sophia. 113 00:04:13,187 --> 00:04:14,734 Hi. 114 00:04:16,563 --> 00:04:19,039 My name is Christy, and I'm an alcoholic 115 00:04:19,330 --> 00:04:21,900 and a gambler and a natural blonde. 116 00:04:23,153 --> 00:04:25,086 Two truths and a lie. 117 00:04:26,957 --> 00:04:29,438 Oh, wait, wait, wait. Have you seen this one? 118 00:04:30,281 --> 00:04:31,969 Wait. Where'd I go? 119 00:04:32,691 --> 00:04:34,047 Here I am! 120 00:04:38,049 --> 00:04:39,619 Oh. Oh, no, no. 121 00:04:39,710 --> 00:04:41,628 Don't-don't worry. I'm not sick. 122 00:04:41,713 --> 00:04:44,850 I'm just very allergic to kittens, and like a silly willy, 123 00:04:44,935 --> 00:04:47,956 I forgot to bring my medication. 124 00:04:48,228 --> 00:04:49,537 Oh. Mm. 125 00:04:51,557 --> 00:04:53,758 Oh, you like that? 126 00:04:57,019 --> 00:04:58,198 Yeah. 127 00:04:58,283 --> 00:04:59,737 Ooh. Wait. 128 00:05:00,911 --> 00:05:02,893 Yeah. Uh-huh. 129 00:05:04,129 --> 00:05:06,700 Ah. 130 00:05:10,139 --> 00:05:13,190 Uh-oh. All gone. 131 00:05:15,124 --> 00:05:16,706 Oh, no. No, don't cry. Don't cry. 132 00:05:16,791 --> 00:05:17,839 There's another box. 133 00:05:19,295 --> 00:05:20,268 No, there isn't. 134 00:05:20,353 --> 00:05:22,487 Uh, um... Ah! 135 00:05:22,644 --> 00:05:24,877 Ha. We'll start over. 136 00:05:24,986 --> 00:05:26,324 Mm. Yeah. 137 00:05:26,440 --> 00:05:28,010 Ooh. Ah. 138 00:05:29,791 --> 00:05:33,659 Come on. It's the same thing we've been doing for an hour. 139 00:05:33,802 --> 00:05:36,243 Or ten minutes. Oh, my God. 140 00:05:39,893 --> 00:05:41,127 Ugh. Ah. 141 00:05:41,212 --> 00:05:43,877 All right, I got what I need. 142 00:05:45,070 --> 00:05:48,033 Ah. Oh, look. It's our favorite game. 143 00:05:49,400 --> 00:05:50,749 Ah. 144 00:05:52,917 --> 00:05:55,618 Oh, no. That's my mean law school professor. 145 00:05:57,141 --> 00:05:59,795 Well, they're all mean, but she makes the boys cry. 146 00:06:00,931 --> 00:06:03,627 Let's pretend to look at the stool softener. 147 00:06:03,712 --> 00:06:05,877 - Mm-hmm. - Excuse me. 148 00:06:05,962 --> 00:06:08,229 Aren't you in my administrative law class? 149 00:06:08,323 --> 00:06:09,737 Ah. 150 00:06:09,822 --> 00:06:12,292 Professor Winslow, I-I didn't see you. 151 00:06:12,377 --> 00:06:13,490 Yes. 152 00:06:13,574 --> 00:06:14,948 You look awful. 153 00:06:15,184 --> 00:06:17,456 Thank you. 154 00:06:17,796 --> 00:06:19,975 I didn't realize you had a baby. 155 00:06:20,456 --> 00:06:23,971 If I'd done law school with a baby, I'd be dead. 156 00:06:24,324 --> 00:06:26,503 Oh, well, no, she's not... 157 00:06:26,587 --> 00:06:27,627 Well... 158 00:06:28,291 --> 00:06:30,383 it is hard. 159 00:06:30,468 --> 00:06:32,442 So this is why 160 00:06:32,527 --> 00:06:35,831 you're always late and distracted and unprepared? 161 00:06:36,823 --> 00:06:39,706 That's what you get for trying to have it all. 162 00:06:40,243 --> 00:06:42,565 Well, I didn't realize what you were dealing with. 163 00:06:42,650 --> 00:06:45,292 But I'm gonna be more patient with your mommy 164 00:06:45,377 --> 00:06:48,534 now that I realize why she's such a mess. 165 00:06:49,777 --> 00:06:50,995 Hang in there. 166 00:06:52,787 --> 00:06:54,009 I will! 167 00:06:56,596 --> 00:06:59,940 Where was this treatment when I got pregnant in high school? 168 00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:06,237 Got your text. What's going on? 169 00:07:06,432 --> 00:07:09,851 I thought I was having an allergy attack, 170 00:07:09,935 --> 00:07:11,574 but I think I'm coming down with something. 171 00:07:11,658 --> 00:07:14,292 You can't catch anything from a cat, right? 172 00:07:14,377 --> 00:07:16,495 What were you doing with it? 173 00:07:16,984 --> 00:07:19,542 - Just take over with the baby. - All right. 174 00:07:19,627 --> 00:07:20,588 All right, step aside. 175 00:07:20,673 --> 00:07:22,409 Let me show you how this is done. 176 00:07:23,167 --> 00:07:25,659 40 years late, but okay. 177 00:07:26,057 --> 00:07:28,696 Hey, I did something 178 00:07:28,831 --> 00:07:31,034 morally questionable. 179 00:07:31,170 --> 00:07:33,001 Is this about the cat again? 180 00:07:33,385 --> 00:07:35,940 I ran into my professor at the pharmacy 181 00:07:36,025 --> 00:07:38,463 and let her believe Sophia's my baby, 182 00:07:38,556 --> 00:07:40,932 and now she thinks I have a super hard life, 183 00:07:41,017 --> 00:07:42,588 and she's gonna give me special treatment. 184 00:07:42,672 --> 00:07:45,174 Hit me with the morally questionable part. 185 00:07:45,384 --> 00:07:47,463 That's it. I lied to her. 186 00:07:47,548 --> 00:07:49,319 First of all, that sounds like a lie of omission, 187 00:07:49,403 --> 00:07:50,755 and nobody counts those. 188 00:07:50,840 --> 00:07:52,671 But more importantly, your life ishard. 189 00:07:52,756 --> 00:07:54,500 Yeah, but I don't have a baby. 190 00:07:54,585 --> 00:07:56,026 So your life is hard in different ways. 191 00:07:56,110 --> 00:07:59,203 You've got, like, 27 addictions and 12 jobs. 192 00:07:59,288 --> 00:08:01,250 Okay, it's only two addictions. 193 00:08:01,334 --> 00:08:03,026 That we know about. 194 00:08:03,553 --> 00:08:05,933 Honey, your life is a crapfest 195 00:08:06,018 --> 00:08:09,214 wrapped in a nightmare on top of a dumpster fire. 196 00:08:09,690 --> 00:08:12,792 Great. Now I'm sick and sad. 197 00:08:14,017 --> 00:08:16,152 Marjorie has my car. Give me your keys. 198 00:08:16,244 --> 00:08:18,293 Don't wreck my car.- 199 00:08:18,698 --> 00:08:21,035 Don't leave her in a basket at the laundromat. 200 00:08:21,120 --> 00:08:23,018 Oh, come on! Aren't we laughing about that yet? 201 00:08:23,103 --> 00:08:24,971 We are not. 202 00:08:26,140 --> 00:08:28,299 Wecan laugh about it. 203 00:08:29,206 --> 00:08:32,281 Okay, we've been through all your grandma's 204 00:08:32,365 --> 00:08:34,112 drawers and closets, 205 00:08:34,198 --> 00:08:37,204 so we're officially out of things to do. 206 00:08:37,288 --> 00:08:39,076 Mm. 207 00:08:39,285 --> 00:08:43,667 By the way, women's underpants don't all look like that. 208 00:08:43,752 --> 00:08:46,167 But if you're curious about how people dressed 209 00:08:46,252 --> 00:08:48,277 in pioneer days, you're welcome. 210 00:08:52,370 --> 00:08:55,198 ♪ Ooh, do-do-do, doo-dee, boo. ♪ 211 00:08:55,369 --> 00:08:57,151 What to do? 212 00:08:59,777 --> 00:09:01,863 See, this is what we needed. 213 00:09:01,948 --> 00:09:04,760 A little fresh air, change of scenery. 214 00:09:05,054 --> 00:09:06,580 Ah, look! 215 00:09:06,985 --> 00:09:09,284 I got hammered at that winery. 216 00:09:10,276 --> 00:09:12,206 And that one. 217 00:09:12,405 --> 00:09:15,957 Ooh, did coke behind that one with a gentleman in long boots. 218 00:09:18,941 --> 00:09:21,573 Don't look at me with that judgy face. 219 00:09:22,693 --> 00:09:25,568 Damn, it's so adorable. Hmm. 220 00:09:26,276 --> 00:09:28,721 I should have spent more time looking at Christy's face 221 00:09:28,806 --> 00:09:30,370 when she was a baby. 222 00:09:31,031 --> 00:09:32,737 I bet it was cute. 223 00:09:32,822 --> 00:09:35,735 Ah, gettin' sad. 224 00:09:35,917 --> 00:09:37,760 Let's crank some tunes. 225 00:09:39,650 --> 00:09:41,316 Ooh! ♪ Do the conga ♪ 226 00:09:41,401 --> 00:09:43,222 ♪ No, you can't control your body any longer ♪ 227 00:09:43,307 --> 00:09:45,572 ♪ Hoop-ah, ta-ta, ta-ta, da-da, bah-boo ♪ 228 00:09:45,656 --> 00:09:47,356 ♪ Bah, dee-dee-dee, do the bomba ♪ 229 00:09:49,616 --> 00:09:51,447 Yeah! Ay, ay, ay, ay, ay. Oh! 230 00:09:53,185 --> 00:09:55,698 Oh! Aw, damn! 231 00:09:59,533 --> 00:10:00,977 Oh. 232 00:10:03,987 --> 00:10:06,677 You feel like helping me change a tire? 233 00:10:08,368 --> 00:10:10,604 Don't pretend to be asleep. 234 00:10:22,635 --> 00:10:24,456 Are you kidding me? 235 00:10:24,616 --> 00:10:27,636 Great, Marjorie, no spare tire, 236 00:10:27,721 --> 00:10:31,784 but you got an emergency Christmas sweater. 237 00:10:36,010 --> 00:10:37,624 Oh, no. 238 00:10:37,745 --> 00:10:38,886 No, no. 239 00:10:39,196 --> 00:10:40,458 No, no, no, no, no, no. 240 00:10:41,863 --> 00:10:43,607 Oh. 241 00:10:43,801 --> 00:10:45,327 Sophia? 242 00:10:45,411 --> 00:10:47,198 See the little button? 243 00:10:47,282 --> 00:10:48,896 Open the door. 244 00:10:49,088 --> 00:10:50,637 Do you know "open"? 245 00:10:50,721 --> 00:10:51,855 Waah! 246 00:10:52,026 --> 00:10:54,582 Oh. Don't laugh at me. 247 00:10:54,667 --> 00:10:56,425 I'm trying to help you. 248 00:10:56,509 --> 00:11:00,037 Oh, no. Oh, my God, I'm failing another baby. 249 00:11:00,206 --> 00:11:01,683 Okay, don't panic. 250 00:11:01,768 --> 00:11:03,995 Just think. Just think. 251 00:11:08,938 --> 00:11:10,815 Bad idea. 252 00:11:11,026 --> 00:11:13,771 Look at me know it's a bad idea before I did it. 253 00:11:13,856 --> 00:11:15,221 Okay. 254 00:11:15,432 --> 00:11:16,432 Oh. 255 00:11:20,272 --> 00:11:21,885 Don't worry. 256 00:11:22,032 --> 00:11:25,383 Aunt Bonnie knows how to break into cars. 257 00:11:26,974 --> 00:11:28,454 Stop with the judgy face. 258 00:11:34,721 --> 00:11:36,810 Better. 259 00:11:39,424 --> 00:11:41,078 Yes! 260 00:11:41,655 --> 00:11:43,921 Here's Bonnie! 261 00:11:45,873 --> 00:11:47,702 Hey. 262 00:11:47,825 --> 00:11:49,217 Ooh. 263 00:11:50,774 --> 00:11:52,297 Hold on. 264 00:11:56,251 --> 00:11:57,952 I... am... 265 00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:00,051 amazing! 266 00:12:02,183 --> 00:12:04,058 And stuck in a trunk. 267 00:12:08,231 --> 00:12:12,459 ♪ Row, row, row your boat gently down the stream ♪ 268 00:12:12,544 --> 00:12:14,919 ♪ Merrily, merrily, merri... 269 00:12:15,286 --> 00:12:17,161 How the hell did you manage this? 270 00:12:17,245 --> 00:12:19,769 Why do you assume it was my fault? 271 00:12:25,122 --> 00:12:28,301 Isn't this more fun than waiting back there for a tow truck? 272 00:12:33,153 --> 00:12:34,724 You are gonna love Bugs Bunny. 273 00:12:34,809 --> 00:12:36,787 I used to watch it all the time when I was a kid. 274 00:12:36,872 --> 00:12:39,052 And sometimes in college when I was hi... 275 00:12:39,136 --> 00:12:41,075 hey, baby. 276 00:12:44,176 --> 00:12:45,450 Huh. 277 00:12:45,583 --> 00:12:48,453 I don't remember them shooting each other in the face so much. 278 00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,802 Oh, my God. He just picked his mouth up off the floor 279 00:12:51,887 --> 00:12:53,256 and stuck it back on. 280 00:12:53,341 --> 00:12:55,547 I'm just gonna turn this off. 281 00:12:57,403 --> 00:12:58,898 You are so sweet. 282 00:12:58,982 --> 00:13:00,669 And your skin is flawless. 283 00:13:00,895 --> 00:13:02,248 Do you have a specific routine, 284 00:13:02,333 --> 00:13:05,591 or is it just not having been on Earth very long? 285 00:13:06,098 --> 00:13:09,114 You're right. A lady never tells. 286 00:13:16,575 --> 00:13:18,856 Oh, I want one of you so bad. 287 00:13:31,630 --> 00:13:33,019 Hey, ladies. 288 00:13:33,269 --> 00:13:35,614 Oh, Jill, you didn't steal a baby. 289 00:13:36,083 --> 00:13:37,365 It's Marjorie's granddaughter, 290 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:39,692 but I'm kind of pretending like she's mine. 291 00:13:39,871 --> 00:13:41,884 Ooh, it's cold in here. Could you hold her for a second 292 00:13:41,968 --> 00:13:42,770 while I grab her hat? 293 00:13:42,855 --> 00:13:45,083 Ugh, no. Not a fan. 294 00:13:46,059 --> 00:13:47,458 You're a nurse. 295 00:13:47,543 --> 00:13:49,418 Of adults. 296 00:13:49,503 --> 00:13:51,806 What is the matter with you? 297 00:13:51,891 --> 00:13:54,817 Babies are the most precious things in the world. 298 00:13:57,114 --> 00:13:58,794 And I am never gonna have one. 299 00:13:59,027 --> 00:14:00,640 Oh, you don't know that. 300 00:14:01,145 --> 00:14:03,184 It's starting to feel that way. 301 00:14:04,793 --> 00:14:07,712 And I've been doing my best to put on a brave face, 302 00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,521 but then this little bundle of joy lands in my lap, 303 00:14:10,605 --> 00:14:12,741 and I can't hold it together anymore. 304 00:14:14,183 --> 00:14:16,794 Can somebody please take the baby so I could get her hat! 305 00:14:16,880 --> 00:14:18,083 - You do it. - I don't know, 306 00:14:18,168 --> 00:14:20,217 I'm not really into babies. 307 00:14:20,302 --> 00:14:22,046 Look at the baby! 308 00:14:24,526 --> 00:14:26,789 You don't think she smells weird? 309 00:14:29,473 --> 00:14:32,254 I know I'm supposed to trust that my higher power has a plan, 310 00:14:32,347 --> 00:14:34,591 but... I'm not really interested 311 00:14:34,676 --> 00:14:37,156 if that plan doesn't include me being a mother. 312 00:14:37,793 --> 00:14:39,075 Aw. 313 00:14:40,464 --> 00:14:41,468 See? 314 00:14:41,685 --> 00:14:43,603 Adults I'm good with. 315 00:14:45,379 --> 00:14:47,130 Here. I'll take her outside. 316 00:14:47,231 --> 00:14:48,662 No, you need to be here more than me. 317 00:14:48,746 --> 00:14:49,969 I was just gonna bitch about Adam. 318 00:14:50,053 --> 00:14:51,411 You're having a breakdown. 319 00:14:51,496 --> 00:14:54,559 But she could still be my baby for a few more hours. 320 00:14:54,649 --> 00:14:57,037 Ooh. Yikes. Listen. Wendy, you start the meeting. 321 00:14:57,122 --> 00:14:59,216 I'm gonna take her back to Marjorie's.- Okay. 322 00:14:59,582 --> 00:15:01,484 Ugh. The little hands. 323 00:15:06,052 --> 00:15:07,752 Look at you so tiny. 324 00:15:08,012 --> 00:15:09,520 Just starting out. 325 00:15:09,838 --> 00:15:12,301 Good news: it's a great time to be a woman. 326 00:15:12,386 --> 00:15:13,955 You can be fierce now. 327 00:15:14,395 --> 00:15:17,706 You don't have to take C-R-A-P from anybody. 328 00:15:17,845 --> 00:15:19,567 You can speak your mind. 329 00:15:19,709 --> 00:15:22,930 You can tell a guy when he's being a D-I-C-K. 330 00:15:25,106 --> 00:15:27,520 Know what? We're gonna make one stop. 331 00:15:32,215 --> 00:15:33,421 - I quit. - What? 332 00:15:33,911 --> 00:15:35,083 Whose baby is that? 333 00:15:35,168 --> 00:15:37,173 Don't change the subject. I can't work for someone 334 00:15:37,258 --> 00:15:38,262 who doesn't trust me. 335 00:15:38,347 --> 00:15:40,255 Who doesn't trust you? Whose baby is that? 336 00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:42,520 You don't trust me. You banned me from your office. 337 00:15:42,605 --> 00:15:44,610 I mean, I get it. Don't trust the ex-con. 338 00:15:44,695 --> 00:15:46,003 We don't deserve a second chance. 339 00:15:46,088 --> 00:15:47,528 Why let us out at all? 340 00:15:47,613 --> 00:15:49,583 Okay, here's a little something I learned at home. 341 00:15:49,668 --> 00:15:51,278 Do you need a meeting? 342 00:15:51,363 --> 00:15:53,176 Oh, 'cause I'm feeling my feelings? 343 00:15:53,261 --> 00:15:55,397 Tammy, I told everyone to stay out of my office. 344 00:15:55,482 --> 00:15:56,585 You did? Yeah. 345 00:15:56,670 --> 00:15:59,052 - Why?' - Cause I don't trust Joe yet, 346 00:15:59,137 --> 00:16:00,846 and I didn't want to single him out. 347 00:16:01,733 --> 00:16:03,651 Oh, yeah, Joe's super creepy. 348 00:16:03,736 --> 00:16:05,611 Why'd you hire him in the first place? 349 00:16:05,696 --> 00:16:08,005 'Cause he's an ex-con, and I'm trying to give him a break. 350 00:16:08,090 --> 00:16:11,434 Oh. Well, I feel a little foolish. 351 00:16:12,701 --> 00:16:14,706 Do you want to un-quit? 352 00:16:14,947 --> 00:16:16,778 Yes, please. And now that I'm back, Okay. 353 00:16:16,862 --> 00:16:18,780 Can I get some free employee wings? 354 00:16:19,183 --> 00:16:20,793 Hello, baby. 355 00:16:22,811 --> 00:16:24,250 Never mind. We're leaving. 356 00:16:24,335 --> 00:16:25,352 Well... 357 00:16:25,437 --> 00:16:26,960 whose baby is that? 358 00:16:29,463 --> 00:16:30,812 We're home. 359 00:16:32,732 --> 00:16:34,212 Christy? 360 00:16:35,832 --> 00:16:37,355 Sophia? 361 00:16:40,604 --> 00:16:42,105 Christy? 362 00:16:52,898 --> 00:16:54,043 Hello? 363 00:16:54,128 --> 00:16:55,524 Where are you? 364 00:16:55,653 --> 00:16:56,660 I don't know. 365 00:16:56,745 --> 00:16:58,769 Where is Sophia? 366 00:17:00,122 --> 00:17:02,473 She's with my mom at your house. 367 00:17:02,558 --> 00:17:05,172 I'm at my house. No one's here. 368 00:17:05,475 --> 00:17:07,863 Hold on. I'll-I'll conference her in. 369 00:17:11,258 --> 00:17:12,610 Go for Bonnie. 370 00:17:12,695 --> 00:17:13,786 Where are you? 371 00:17:13,871 --> 00:17:15,223 I'm on the side of the road 372 00:17:15,308 --> 00:17:16,660 watching Arlo change a tire. 373 00:17:16,745 --> 00:17:17,838 - What? - What? 374 00:17:17,923 --> 00:17:19,883 - Where is the baby? - Hey, Marjorie. 375 00:17:19,968 --> 00:17:21,613 She's at your house with Jill. 376 00:17:21,742 --> 00:17:24,574 I'm at my house. There's no one here. 377 00:17:24,659 --> 00:17:26,621 Let me conference her in. 378 00:17:28,003 --> 00:17:29,075 Hello? 379 00:17:29,160 --> 00:17:31,137 - Where are you? - Oh. Leaving a meeting. 380 00:17:31,222 --> 00:17:32,911 Where is my granddaughter? 381 00:17:32,996 --> 00:17:35,013 Well, Tammy brought her back to your house, 382 00:17:35,098 --> 00:17:36,848 because I was having a bit of a meltdown. 383 00:17:36,933 --> 00:17:38,677 No good comes from babies. 384 00:17:38,987 --> 00:17:40,731 Tammy's not here. 385 00:17:40,815 --> 00:17:42,951 All conference her in. 386 00:17:44,223 --> 00:17:45,340 Hello? 387 00:17:45,425 --> 00:17:47,216 - Where's Sophia? - Where are you? - Where's the baby? 388 00:17:47,300 --> 00:17:50,122 Is this a conference call? I've never been on one of those. 389 00:17:50,207 --> 00:17:52,221 Just tell me where you are. 390 00:17:52,305 --> 00:17:53,875 I'm in your living room. 391 00:17:53,959 --> 00:17:55,659 No, you aren't! No, you're not! 392 00:17:55,928 --> 00:17:57,628 Wait. Yes, you are. 393 00:17:57,713 --> 00:17:59,193 Goodbye. 394 00:18:00,052 --> 00:18:02,553 Oh... ah... 395 00:18:02,671 --> 00:18:06,498 There's my beautiful girl! 396 00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:07,935 She prefers "fierce woman." 397 00:18:08,110 --> 00:18:10,507 Also, if you blow on her belly, she giggles. 398 00:18:10,709 --> 00:18:12,536 Then again, who doesn't? 399 00:18:22,136 --> 00:18:24,231 Hi. How was the wedding? 400 00:18:24,316 --> 00:18:26,261 It was great. Where's Sophia? 401 00:18:26,472 --> 00:18:27,973 - Right there. - Hi! 402 00:18:28,097 --> 00:18:30,239 We had the best time! 403 00:18:30,324 --> 00:18:33,926 We danced. People filled my wineglass. 404 00:18:34,011 --> 00:18:36,855 No one bit down on my nipple. 405 00:18:37,510 --> 00:18:39,518 Oh, I'm so glad. 406 00:18:40,018 --> 00:18:42,132 Sophia and I had a wonderful day, too. 407 00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:45,287 You know, I got to admit, I was little nervous about this, 408 00:18:45,372 --> 00:18:46,467 but you really came through. 409 00:18:46,551 --> 00:18:48,944 - You're the best. - Oh. 410 00:18:49,034 --> 00:18:50,343 You really have changed. 411 00:18:50,502 --> 00:18:51,910 That means a lot. 412 00:18:52,283 --> 00:18:55,853 So, um, maybe we can do this again sometime. 413 00:18:55,938 --> 00:18:57,853 - I would love that. - I would love that. 414 00:18:59,814 --> 00:19:01,674 Okay. 415 00:19:04,750 --> 00:19:06,643 Jerry. Wait. 416 00:19:08,030 --> 00:19:09,174 Um... 417 00:19:09,259 --> 00:19:11,319 I didn't exactly do this alone today. 418 00:19:11,404 --> 00:19:14,761 Uh, I had to take a sick cat to the vet, 419 00:19:14,846 --> 00:19:17,414 so I left Sophia with Christy, 420 00:19:17,498 --> 00:19:20,119 and then Christy came down with a cold, 421 00:19:20,204 --> 00:19:23,518 so she gave Sophia to her mom, and... 422 00:19:24,346 --> 00:19:26,245 Basically, everyone on my speed dial 423 00:19:26,330 --> 00:19:28,783 took care of your daughter today. 424 00:19:29,495 --> 00:19:30,716 But I guarantee you 425 00:19:30,801 --> 00:19:32,564 she was safe and loved 426 00:19:32,650 --> 00:19:35,040 the entire time. 427 00:19:35,650 --> 00:19:37,129 Although she did go to a bar 428 00:19:37,213 --> 00:19:39,389 and attend her first AA meeting. 429 00:19:42,791 --> 00:19:45,311 I-I can't believe you told me all that. 430 00:19:45,768 --> 00:19:49,097 Well... it's just, it took so long 431 00:19:49,188 --> 00:19:52,452 to get you back in my life... I want to be completely honest. 432 00:19:54,297 --> 00:19:55,693 I appreciate that. 433 00:19:57,130 --> 00:19:58,217 Okay. 434 00:19:58,302 --> 00:19:59,707 Talk to you later, Mom. 435 00:20:14,526 --> 00:20:15,895 Hello? 436 00:20:16,240 --> 00:20:17,996 He called me Mom. 437 00:20:18,885 --> 00:20:20,063 Oh, my God. 438 00:20:20,256 --> 00:20:22,052 I'll conference everyone in! 439 00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:23,756 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org 440 00:20:23,840 --> 00:20:25,373 Sync corrections by srjanapala 30815

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