Original subtitles

This programme contains strong language

It's not going to go with my outfit, though. It is, I love it.

Whoo! This is you!

Look at that green one. I'm going to buy that right now.

My enemies will be green with envy.

Yo! Yo...

Who's paying for this? Er, it's... Where is she?

Over there.

Hey!

There you go, guys.

Yeah, man, no worries.

Fantastic!

TANNOY: That's a cleaner to Aisle 4.

They got nuts? They've sold out.

We need more cheese.

With you on my black card, can find me in the flat,

lip gloss matte, if the lace wig struggle...

PHONE VIBRATES

Being a woman is the fuckin' worst.

TANNOY PINGS

That'll be 71.98, please.

Do you want to try again?

It's declined.

Oh.

Can I get a selfie, please?

Yeah.

Yeah, you're going to have to remove

all your items off my conveyor belt...

..and put them back in the aisles.

"Prior to being raped, I never took much notice of being a woman.

"I was busy being black and poor.

"Daring to observe the hazard my gender may pose to my freedom

"and survival feels like a betrayal to the council flat I was born

"and raised in, where hardship was no respecter of genitals

"and a little brother was the star

"of the food and love as his sister.

"When I think about the Met Police Force

"and the chronic racism that cripples it,

"the fact that I opened my mouth to tell them

"someone did a little rape in there feels felonious in itself.

"The Bible says you cannot serve two masters.

"Am I too late to serve this tribe called women?

"Do I actually understand what it is to be a woman struggling?

"A little rape in the mouth is a walk in the park when other

"girls are currently being stoned to death for having mobile phones...

"..are bleeding to death after genital mutilation...

"..are looking at a womb irreparably destroyed by militias

"systematically raping them during times of civil conflict and war.

"Are these facts a humbling reminder not to be

"so loud about my experiences,

"or are they a reminder to shout?

"Can my shout help their silent screams?

"Is it time to serve a new tribe?

"I hope one day to know."

I'm thinking more, you know, I'm trying, so...

No, that was... That was fantastic. Wow.

OK. The thing is, erm, we have a contract,

and we...we have to honour, erm, that contract.

So, this is great but, erm...

..you, erm...

You need to finish the draft.

Where...? Where is the money?

With Henny House.

With Henny Ho...? With Susy?

# Street games

# Street games

# Street games

# Playing street games

# Street games... #

Thank you so much for agreeing to see me. Of course!

I'm going to let you through and up - all the fucking way up.

Love the hair, by the way. Oh, thank you.

Have a pomegranate.

How's it going in the kitchen?

Is it in the oven, measuring, marinating? When are we serving?

Mm. Well, I started doing what you said. Which was?

Mm...

..I'm starting to write about my experiences.

Rape! Mm.

Fantastic.

No, just different, it's different to my usual.

I'd love you to meet some other writers I look after -

would you like that?

Yes. I would.

I also wondered if, erm,

an earlier transfer of fees was something that was possible?

You haven't been paid?

Oh!

Oh, dear. You should have received a quarter upon agreement,

that's contractual. Oh, no, no, no, I got that. Oh!

Yeah, but that was, like, a year ago,

and cos the content has changed, it's taking a bit

longer to finish the draft, so I just wondered if I could have...

..some of the fees in advance.

You probably signed a contract. Mm?

That makes things tricky.

Contracts, they're a little like things we've agreed?

Mate, you don't even to know what you're saying.

Just read the scripts and pocket the cash. Oh...

No, no, no. Mate, you can't have a party without treats.

Yeah, but this is from... Yeah, I know.

Every time I bring someone in here, right, I get a referral fee.

So I'm all right for a while.

Just give it back to me when I need it.

Hello, this is Happy Animals, we're a vegan grocery delivery service.

Yeah, your details were on our database.

Hey, I'm Dan, CEO.

Ah, wicked, nice to meet you. Thanks for...

Do you know much about Happy Animals, or...? No, no.

Right. Let me just fill you in, I mean, it's a bit dull,

but, erm, I basically spent three years at uni just going

deep into the existential threat of climate change.

So, you know, animal agriculture

and eating meat are THE biggest threat to global warming.

OK. So, I created, er, Happy Animals. Yeah.

So, people who want to buy vegan products

and know what's out there, know what they can buy. Wow.

So, it's kind of like Amazon?

Er, yeah, but kind of ethical.

OK, OK, yeah, yeah, yeah.

I mean, I wondered if you would be interested in...

..er, influencing instead?

Oh, like, Instagram for...? Mm, yeah. Erm...

Double pay? I mean, I'd pay cash upfront as well.

Sure. Yeah, sure. Great. No, yeah, it sounds great. Fantastic.

Emily, can we, erm,

get...? So, yeah, I thought maybe we could start with

a photo of you in the Happy Animals T-shirt and bag?

Would that be cool? Yeah, yeah, can I see what it looks like? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Perfect, OK.

Yeah, that is lush.

Would you mind if we do, like, a quick, ten-second video?

Yes, yep. Definitely.

OK, yeah, yeah, yeah. Er, just the phone script.

Hi, this is Arabella from Happy Animals.

The climate crisis is real, we're here to make a change.

Great. Great. Cool.

And would you mind doing, like, a few more?

Yeah. Yeah? Great. OK.

The thing I miss most after the complete ecological

collapse are crops, because crops bring us yummy vegetables.

A bit more playful.

I love it.

Indonesia has to move their capital city because the current...

It is literally... Get your products now.

You know where to go.

Maybe a live stream tomorrow? Great.

Er, cash? Yeah, no, when you clock out, we'll sort that out. Great.

She stopped, by the way...

..smoking - cigarettes and weed.

That's good.

I bought her a vape. It helped - less toxins in her system.

Not sure about that. What?

New research, isn't it?

Vapes are looking more toxic than they thought.

It's better than smoking. It smells better for non-smokers, yeah.

What are you up to today, then?

Well, as you can see, I'm at work right now, T.

On my break.

Did I see you this morning?

What? In the supermarket.

No.

It's my birthday.

I know. Thanks.

Arabella is hosting a party for me tonight,

I'm sure you saw the event circulating on Facebook.

So, you wanted to check that

I wasn't going to turn up with the champs.

It's just self-care guidelines say...

It's better for her that I stay away.

I'm not going to forget, Terry.

You don't have to keep turning up at my workplace

hounding me down to check. I'm sorry.

Self-care. Yep.

Self-care is important in the first two stages,

the only thing more important is...

..to avoid friends...

..who don't affirm or comfort.

Right. This, erm, self-care...

..who's it for? Arabella.

And the guideline says to avoid me?

Yes. Because I left her.

Ultimately, yes.

So, it doesn't matter that I got your approval to leave her.

"Yo, Terry!

"Arabella's twisted,

"and I really need to go and bang my mistress, what do I do?"

I can't verify those are my words,

I was under the influence of tequila and Class A drugs.

You put me in a difficult position.

I wasn't there, I didn't know what to say.

So, instead of just saying, "I don't know," you say,

"Just leave her, this is what she does."

That is not how I said it. That's exactly what you said

and you were sober when you said it.

And then you forced me to lie to her the next day.

What does the past have to do with Arabella's current recovery?

I'm just trying to assess which one of us she should be avoiding.

I'm taking her to yoga, dance class, meditation, painting,

steam room, I listen to her talk, I make her feel good.

No-one else is doing these things. I'm helping.

Well, you get back to that, and I'm going to resume my break.

Oh, wait.

You finished that again.

ARABELLA RECITES LYRICS IN A WHISPER

DOORBELL BUZZES

Ooh!

Hey! Hi!

Hey! Hey!

Happy birthday, my dear.

Pastor Samson!

You are looking spicy!

Thank you, thank you.

What are you saying, Kwams?

That's my boy Jamal still.

Hi, Jamal.

I didn't catch your name, bruv.

My name? Mm.

It's Kwame.

Yeah, this man is Kwame.

And I'm a friend of the birthday girl.

And this one here is my yard.

Yours? OK. Well, thank you for letting us gate-crash.

You're more than welcome.

Anyway, I'm Jamal.

Jamal.

Jamal.

This name, this look, it's really intense.

Are you Egyptian? Half. Oh!

And also...? Ecuador.

Ecuador! Wow! I know, right?

Wow!

The Egyptuadorian. Wow! Come on!

All right. Maybe I'll catch you next door later on, yeah?

Yeah, maybe.

Isn't he, er...? Hm?

Your type?

OK, OK, it's OK. Here, go and serve.

TERRY LAUGHS

I do have a thing for Egyptians still.

Why? See, my firsts were Greek and Egyptian.

Firsts, plural? How was that, then?

I lost my virginity to two guys at the same time.

Yeah.

I mean, I was walking home from school,

and these two guys pulled up in a car, so, I went in the car,

and...yeah, I was really nervous, cos there was barely a word spoken,

and I didn't catch their names. They didn't ask for mine.

But one said they were Greek and the other said Egyptian.

Wow, babe.

Yeah, it's kind of dark.

HE LAUGHS

I'm on a break now, innit? Hm.

Arabella!

ALL: # Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday to you

# Happy birthday, dear Terri Queen bish!

# Happy birthday to you. #

CHEERING

Make a wish.

CHEERING

Speech, speech!

ALL: Speech, speech, speech!

All right, all right, guys,

if you're familiar with the term okinch, say okinch.

ALL: Okinch!

Sometimes, you've got to look at life and say what?

ALL: Okinch!

It's my birthday, I'm cute. Yeah!

And I never thought I'd make it through.

I've had four auditions in five months.

I have crumbled and chickened out of going into the room

every single time, but when you look in that mirror,

and every day you're buff...

Yes! ..what can you say? ALL: Okinch!

It was a close shave today. Hey.

The finances tried to test us.

But God came through. Yes.

Anyway, Bella, thank you for the yard.

Course. You do so much.

I'm so proud of you.

What are you talking about? T, you're my best friend,

I'd give you my fucking organs, G.

I love you. Love you, too.

I love you more. I love you more than anything in this world.

I love you more than I love myself.

T, come on. You know... BOTH: Your death is my death.

Your birth is my fucking birth, G.

CHEERING

MUSIC PLAYS

Yo, say cheese. ALL: Cheese! OK.

Did you just hide your chicken? What? I cannot.

It's off-brand. Whose brand? How long are you doing this?

I'm back there tomorrow.

Where are you working? Arabella is the face of

SINGING: # Happy Animals. #

Happy Animals? T...

Vegan tings, climate tings.

PAINED: The ice caps are melting.

THEY LAUGH

Wow, you have now become a climateer.

Pastor, argh. For the money.

Let's watch this. Take a look. Oh, no.

Here we go.

FROM PHONE: The surface of the ice sheets are getting darker

and less reflective of the Sun...

Which places the ice caps in the grip of what's called

a feedback loop, which is contributing to the acceleration

of the melting ice caps and fuelling sea-level rises.

Wow! Wonderful.

Only yesterday... What?

..a climateer came knocking on my door, saying now was the time

to change my car to an electric something-something.

I just bought a new Mercedes.

I worked hard to get it,

and you're standing at my door telling me to what?

Throw away my car? Huh?

And what next?

Exchange my cow for a carrot.

THEY LAUGH

Why must the white man chop at the neck

when the African's only now beginning to swallow?

They said because there's dairy inside.

I am tired of white people.

Yeah, me, too.

Theo! Yes, mate.

You all right? Someone needs to tell her that black women don't do coke.

And, apart from Arabella, we don't get raped,

so she's not going to find no business here. Who?

Er, Theodora. Because what else would she be doing

a party apart from selling class-A

and trying to find new rape victims to put some dollar

into her little donation pot? She could be celebrating.

Celebrating what?

Her life is about as celebratory as a true-crime documentary on Netflix.

SHE LAUGHS

I'm going to go toilet, yeah?

Oh, shit.

Come on, Egyptuador!

Hey, oh!

Yes, mate! Hey!

You having a good night?

Huh? You having a good night? Yeah. Yeah?

You?

Yeah, man, can't complain.

Ah!

Oh!

It's boiling in there. Bells, Bells, sorry.

Erm, can I go in your bedroom for a bit? Yeah.

Got a headache. Sure. Are you having a good time?

Yeah, yeah.

What's wrong?

What a party. I know, right?

I'm going to smoke, if... Yeah, we're not smokers.

V for vape.

Ah, yeah, course.

OK, well, I'll be, er, outside.

Shall I tell her to go? No, no, no.

I'm happy for her to be here as long as you trust her.

Do you trust her? Why wouldn't I trust her?

Because of things that have happened in the past,

like framing a black man for something he never did.

Oh... That was, erm... That was a really long time ago.

And, in between that time, has anything been resolved?

Has she even said anything?

Er, no, no. Exactly.

Then, why is she all up in our yard,

dancing with our friends, consuming the vibes,

consuming the food? Well, she paid for the food.

Yeah, even that, though. Why is she being nice and supportive?

What is she hiding? Erm...

MUSIC PLAYS

Think we need to resolve our problems on the dance floor.

Yeah, OK. OK. Just be careful. Come on.

HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING

BUZZING FADES

PHONE RINGS

Yo.

Yo.

That's mad. I was just thinking about you.

Yeah, I've been wanting to say sorry for disappearing after... You know.

Yeah.

And I wanted to say thank you.

Thank you?

Yeah, for being so cool, you know?

Yo, I met someone,

and I don't care, you know?

I don't give a fuck.

I'm doing me and I'm not listening to anything anyone has to say,

do you know what I mean?

HIGH-PITCHED BUZZING

Oh, Egyptuador! You having fun?

Yeah, I'm having a good time. More wine? Nah. I'm good, you know.

I'm actually trying to find your toilet.

Oh, yeah, it's, ah, first door on the left. This side? Yeah.

Oh, sorry, mate. I thought this was the toilet.

I prefer your anti-man videos.

Ah, Samson!

It's not exactly a bad cause because crops are...

..dying and shit, so...

I don't have garden, I don't see crops.

Samson!

It's a thing. You know, planet-wise, we are fucked.

Is this what they're paying you to say?

Theo, back me up.

Ah, I can't. I'm eating.

Look, all I'm saying is if you deep it...

Sis, deep history, I beg!

Let me tell you something about the vegan and the climateer.

Yes, Pastor Samson.

Well, they love looking into the future,

but they don't care about the past,

because they don't look too noble back there.

It is our duty to remind them. May we never forget.

We will count every sin.

Oh...

How's that got anything to do...

It is the same manipulative and sociopathic mind that

helped them invade, exploit and rape all but 22 countries

in the world that they are channelling to

invade Hackney to talk about cows and carrots!

It doesn't matter what it looks like.

Jesus, the English language, sports, climate change.

The only real agenda is power and worship.

And money. The same way they used their missionaries

to spread their "goodness".

Well, no, they don't get paid when I post.

Child! If you're going to fight exploitation of any kind,

you yourself better know when you're being exploited.

Every "like" you get gives them exposure.

Exposure gives them more followers.

Followers gives them power.

And power gives them money.

And you help them get our attention.

Do you want me to open the window and get some air in here?

Erm...

Maybe they're right about the icecaps.

I've got to tell you something.

Yeah, you were quiet in there.

I was quiet in there, yeah.

You know I don't do, like, that corny fucking FaceTime,

Insta stuff for Happy Animals.

No. I scout, Bells. Do you know what I mean?

Yeah... Yeah.

LAUGHING: No, sorry. What do you mean?

So, like, bringing you in...

Ah...me bringing you in, ah...

..does have benefits.

Yeah, the referral fee.

Ah, so, if I bring in people of colour...

..I...get a better referral fee.

So, he was right.

That they do want...

Yeah. Sorry.

Yeah, the more I think about it the more I'm, like...

I probably should've told you. Erm...

But, obviously, then you wouldn't have...

And I really needed the cash.

And you said you really needed the cash.

Theo?

You know, erm...

..school days?

Yeah.

It was me that went to the teacher, erm...

To Mr... Mr McHale?

Yeah.

Wow, I always wondered how I got caught.

Yeah...

I was a bit shit.

No, you weren't.

Anyway, I don't think I'm going to go in tomorrow

because I don't think I want to do that job any more.

Oh, tomorrow.

Mm.

Mm... Would've been nice.

THEO LAUGHS

Smile, say some catchphrases, pose - double pay.

Too good to be true, mate!

DOOR OPENS

Oh, yo. Hi. Where's Kwame?

I gave him some private time with Jamal in my bedroom.

He's on a break.

I'm sure he was swiping on Grindr in the market.

He's on a break.

DOOR SLAMS

Yup.

BANGING ON DOOR FROM INSIDE

I had to find the key!

Fuck's sake. See you, bro.

What happened?

I'm going to fucking kill her. No, no, no...

Go on.

Oh...

Ah, we can still get our money from Happy Animals.

How?

I'll let it percolate.

OK.

Night, babe.

Night, Ben.

Who did you talk to?

No-one, really. I just reported it and...

Boy!

Oh, bro...

That was enough to put me off ever mentioning it

to anyone ever again.

Fuck. Yeah.

I think I just wanted to forget about it.

You have to tell Bella. Yeah, I'll tell her.

But these times it's kind of hard to get an in with her.

Do you know what I mean? I feel like I've got to tweet

or Instagram her before she even knows I exist.

Kwams!

I'll tell her.

I'll tell her tomorrow.

She'll be good to talk to.

Strengthening.

We should probably help her tidy up.

MUSIC: Cola

by Arlo Parks

Yeah.

Oh, happy birthday.

No, it's not mine! It's hers, remember? Oh, shit!

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oi? Oi?

Happy birthday.

Oh, ah...

..tomorrow. Yeah?

There'll be a tomorrow.

Tomorrow is tomorrow.

Nice!

SHE GROANS

Nice!

Your birth is my birth, guys.

TERRY AND KWAME: My death is your death.

The climate crisis is real.

My hair is not.

And I love chicken.

Fried chickens!

CAMERAMAN: What the f...

What the f...

MUSIC: Dreaming About You by The Blackbyrds