All language subtitles for Fddrfghh

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Hold on. I gotta come up.

I gotta take the world's
biggest fucking piss.

We can't be late.

We won't!

- Who's holding?
- If you're not then nobody.

We were kind of hoping you were.

- Yeah. How are you not holding?
- Jesus Christ Shanna.

It is not my fucking job to supply y'all
with weed when we go out.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa little lady.

You're getting angry kind of quick
don't you think?

- I was just teasing you.
- I'm not angry.

It just would be nice if y'all didn't
just count on me all the fucking time

and surprise me
every once in a while with pot.

Okay mean girl in a high school movie.
Are you through having a tantrum?

- I'm not having a tantrum.
- Yes you are.

You've been in the car all of two seconds
and you're already cursing at me.

- I am not cursing at you.
- You said "Jesus Christ Shanna."

And then
before the sentence was over

you threw a "fucking" in there
to emphasize your "irritatance."

All right. Come on guys. Don't fight.
I'll pay for it when we get some.

One: It is not about the money.

It is about the pain in the ass of scoring.

And two: We're not really fighting.

Arlene have you forgotten
what hanging out with Jungle Julia's like?

That wasn't a fight.

That was Julia
acting like a grumpy bitch

and me calling her on it
and indulging her at the same time.

That's how we tolerate each other
after all these years.

Oh billboard.

So what's the plan man?

Margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's.

Did you call Rafael
and tell him we're coming?

- Of course.
- You're so good.

I know.

Okay is Christian Simonson
gonna be there?

You bet your ass he is.
He's gonna be there with Jesse Letterman.

Christian Simonson
the filmmaker is in town.

He's got a big thing for Julia.

If he had a big thing for me
he'd fucking call me

as opposed to disappearing
for six months

and he'd get his ass down here
more often than he does

and on my birthday
give me a fucking phone call.

Oh billboard.

Yeah but you get those legs
of yours around him and it's all over.

Yeah well when I'm redecorating
his house in the hills

that I am also living in
I'll let you know it worked.

So margaritas and Mexican food at Guero's
touch base with Chris and Jesse

tell them about later
and make damn sure they come.

Those other guys will be waiting for us
to join them at the Texas Chili Parlor.

Oh shit.

Speaking of which what happened
with you and Nate last night?

Well you know not mu...
We just fucking met each other.

I mean if you don't bust their balls a
little bit they're never gonna respect you.

Okay we're pretty clear
on what it is you didn't do.

How about enlightening us
on what it is you did do?

Nothing to write home about.

We just made out on the couch
for about 20 minutes.

Dressed half-dressed or naked?

Dressed. I said we made out.

We didn't do the thing.

Excuse me for living
but what is "the thing"?

You know it's everything but.

They call it "the thing"?

I call it "the thing."

Do guys like the thing?

They like it better than no thing.

Okay I wanna get back
to what it is you did do.

So you're making out
on the couch with Nate right?

- Correct.
- Whose couch?

- His or the one in your hotel room?
- What am I stupid over here? Mine.

Were you making out
sitting up or lying down?

We started sitting up.
We worked our way to lying down.

Mmm the plot thickens.
Who was on top?

I was straddling him.

- What else?
- That was it.

So we made out
for a little while on the couch

and I said "Okay I'm gonna go to bed now
so it's time for you to leave."

And then he starts to whine
"Oh right now?"

And I said "Yep right now.
Let's go."

And he says
"Well wait. What about this?"

And I said "No."

He said "What do you mean no?
You don't even know what I'm gonna say."

I said "l already know
what you're gonna say

and the answer's no."

He said "How can you say
you know what I'm gonna say?"

I said "Because you're gonna say
'let's just go to sleep together.

"'We don't gotta do nothing.

"'Just cuddle sleep next to each other
wake up in the morning together.'

No you're gonna leave
but I'll see you tomorrow."

Yeah fuck Nate.

I mean he's cute and all

but Jesse Letterman's
gonna be all over her.

- Jesse Letterman...
- Remember no hooking up tonight.

You can hang out with him
you can make out with him

but no hooking up with him
because we are driving to Lake LBJ tonight

and my daddy's pretty clear
about one thing.

He said "l am letting you
and your girlfriends stay at my lake house

not you and a bunch of horny boys trying
to get their fuck on with my daughter."

- Your dad talks like that?
- Hell yeah!

It's not like he ain't gonna know either

because when I'm staying at the lake house
with my girlfriends in our bikinis

Daddy just has a tendency to pop up
and make sure we don't need anything.

Look he's totally harmless
and cute as a bug's ear.

But you know when he's got
a bunch of half-naked poontang

walking the floor of his lake house

he just likes to pay us a visit
and make sure we got everything we need.

And if you flirt shamelessly with him like
the six-foot baby giraffe in the backseat

you got a puppy dog for life.

I have my own relationship
with Ben

and you're just jealous
'cause it don't include you.

- You call her dad Ben?
- I'm not a child. That's his name.

So when are the boys showing up?

They're gonna meet us
at the Chili Parlor.

Maybe they can bring some pot.

Fuck that. No.

I don't wanna be either
A depending on their fucking ass

or B depending on their ass.

Uh-uh. We don't score ourselves

we're gonna be stuck
with them all fucking night.

Ooh try Lanna Frank.

Best idea you had all day.

Oh hey that's your last billboard
before Guero's.

Oh come on.
Give me a break.

"Oh come on" my ass!
We said every time.

Okay.

Jules let me get a drag?
Thanks.

Oh my God!

Hey this is...
and I's U .T. days Arlene.

- Hey.
- Hey.

- You wanna join us?
- For a second but I'm with some friends.

Oh.

So you must be... must be...

So you must be the infamous Butterfly.

Shh!

She don't know nothing about it.

- Know about what?
- When were y'all gonna tell her?

- Soon.
- Tell me what?

Yeah now thanks to you
we gotta tell her sooner than later.

All right cut the shit.
What the fuck is going on?

I said a little somethin'-somethin'
about you on the air today.

Julia what the fuck did you say
about me on the radio?

All I said was I had
a sexy friend named Butterfly

who was in from out of town
for the weekend

and we would be going out
somewhere in Austin tonight

and if they were out on the town
maybe they'd see us.

And I described you and I said
that if they spotted you while we were out

if they'd do something
you'd do something.

Okay now Julia I'm serious.

What did you say
and what did you say I'd do?

Anyhoo I could explain what I said
which would be boring

or Marcy over here

who is an incredible actress
could act it out for you

which I think
will give you a better idea

of what you have in store
for you tonight.

Okay so just tell me your way.

- So we'll act it out with Marcy?
- Sure.

Okay give Marcy your drink.

Thank you.

Okay so you're in a club or a bar

and Marcy's a kind of cute
or kind of hot or kind of sexy

or better be fucking hysterically funny
but not funny-looking guy

who you could fuck.

- Got it.
- Okay Marcy take it.

Howdy.

Hi there.

Excuse me but your name
wouldn't be Butterfly would it?

Yes it is. Itseems you have me
at a disadvantage.

Barry.

Pleased to meet you Barry.

- Y'all are getting me hot.
- Shh!

So is uh Butterfly your real name?

Yes it is.

And how'd you know my name Barry?

I listened to Jungle Julia's show
this morning.

Oh you did did you?

Oh yeah. I listen to her show
every morning.

Oh you do do you?

Yeah. She's like
the coolest lady in town.

Don't you think she's got a big ass?

Nah man.

I like her ass that way.

She got a black girl's ass.

Well that's what she always says
but natural fact

she doesn't really have
a black girl's ass.

- She's got a big ass.
- Okay what the fuck are you doing?

Oh look who wants to get
to the point all of a sudden.

Okay we'll get to the point.

But for your information
skinny bitch

black men and a whole lot
of motherfucking white men

have had plenty fun
adoring my ass.

I don't wear their teeth marks
on my butt for nothing.

All right if you're not gonna
buy me a drink can I have mine back?

No. Okay okay okay okay.

So Butterfly can I buy you a drink?

- I'd love one.
- What can I get you?

I'll take a margarita.

Here you go.

So after they buy you a drink

when they raise their glass to toast

they look you dead in the eye

and repeat this poem:

"The woods are lovely
dark and deep

"and I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep.

"Did you hear me Butterfly?

Miles to go before you sleep."

And then if they say that...

you gotta give them a lap dance.

What?

If they call you Butterfly
buy you a drink

repeat that poem
you gotta give them a lap dance.

That's bullshit.
I ain't giving them nothing.

Well you can do it or not
but if you don't

everybody in Austin's
gonna think you're a chickenshit.

And I don't think you want everybody
in Austin thinking you're a chickenshit.

I ain't giving nobody no lap dance
'cause of what you said.

Oh come on.
It's gonna be funny.

Yeah everything's funny to you two
when it's happening to me.

Look you don't have to do it
for anybody you don't want.

I said you'd do it
for the first guy who says it.

So some geek comes over
trying to be cool

just tell him you already did it
at another place earlier.

No harm no foul
but you get a free drink out of it.

But maybe a little later
in the evening

you've had a few drinks
you're kind of loosey-goosey

you're safe with your girls

then some kind of cute kind of hot
kind of sexy hysterically funny

but not funny-looking guy
comes up and says it

then maybe you did it earlier
maybe you didn't.

You made me trip.

You made me trip
you dumb bitch!

Shut the...

You fuckin' idiot!

Any dead soldiers here?

Uh these two. Thank you.

Where the hell is Lanna Frank?

That's a good fucking question.

Lanna Frank!

Where are you?

Well come over already.
We're waiting for you.

Shit!

Hold on!

So where are you?

Come over already.
We're waiting for you.

No we're not coming over there.

You come over here
like you said you would.

So is it "Shawna" and the girls
at the lake house this weekend?

- "Shawna"?
- Oh fuck! I...

No. Now there is one thing
that every girl in the whole world

whose name is Shanna
has in common with each other

we all hate the name Shawna

and we really hate it
when people call us Shawna.

Just remember it's Shanna Banana
not Shawna Banawna.

Okay but at some point in the evening
I had fuckability stock.

Yeah. I mean...

it wasn't bullish but...

Okay Warren's sending over shots.

And you know the house rule:

If he sends over shots
you've gotta do them.

- What?
- Hey them's the rules baby.

Warren says it we do it!

I love that philosophy:
"Warren says it we do it."

- So let's do it!
- What is it?

Hey shot first questions later.

Here we go! Post time!

Mmm!

Whoo-hoo!

Ow!

Now is that a tasty beverage
or is that a tasty beverage?

What the fuck is it?

Chartreuse the only liquor so good
they named a color after it.

Who's down for dos Chartreuse?

Not me.

- I'm going out for a smoke.
- Okay.

But careful where you keep
that hot flame all right?

You'll blow up the joint.

Drinks. What can I get you?
Shanna Banana?

Another big-ass
Long Island iced tea.

Bombay Sapphire
and tonic no ice.

Good boy.

Oh.

Oh hey Punky uh one of the lights
is off in the parking lot. Flip it.

- Oh Jesus Christ!
- Whoa!

You scared the fuck
out of me you shitty asshole!

I swear Arlene
I was not trying to scare you.

I just got lucky.

Oh hardy-fucking-har.
Go inside.

- Wait a minute.
- Why?

- I was thinking we could make out.
- What on a porch?

Not even in the bar
but in front of the entrance?

- Forget it.
- No in my car.

What out there?
It's wet as fucking 'Nam out there.

Not in my car it's not.

Look you won't get wet.

I promise you.

You know most guys
wouldn't brag about that.

Ha-ha-ha.
You know what I mean.

Look I know you guys are going
to Lake LBJ and we can't come.

I wanna make out!

Okay just stop with the whining.
It's not attractive.

Okay but I don't want it
super-fucking obvious

to everybody
in the bar I've been gone

so we'll go in your car we'll make out
for six minutes and that's it.

- Deal?
- Great.

No no no. Deal or no deal?

If you're gonna whine
when I pull the plug in six minutes

we can just walk back inside
the fucking bar right now.

- Deal. No whining.
- And no begging.

And no begging.
When you say done it's done.

I'm gonna remember
you said that.

Okay let's go.

Oh you got two jobs:

kiss good and make sure
my hair don't get wet.

Now look you can't look like
you're trying to get her out of here

before Christian Simonson shows up

but you've got to get her out of here
before Christian Simonson shows up.

But what's the point?

They're going to Shanna's
daddy's house at Lake LBJ

and it's no guys...
absolutely no guys.

Okay so after we bring
the girls drinks

in fairly rapid order but not obvious
we order two more rounds of shots.

You think they're gonna fall for that?

We'll be very convincing.

Now it's time to turn up the volume.
No more fucking around.

We go to Jäger shots.

Man they're not gonna
drink Jäger shots.

Dude as long as a guy's buying the booze
a fucking bitch'll drink anything.

Come on dude we can at least
get one shot of Jäger

down these fucking bitches' throats.

After that we'll see if they got
another Jäger shot in them.

You never know.

That could be the shot that puts
them past the point of "fuck it."

Then all of a sudden
"no guys at the lake house"

turns into "a couple of guys
at the lake house."

My point exactly.

I know I can at least get
Shanna "Suck My" Banana

to do a fucking Buttery Nipple shot.

What's Julia's sweet shot?

- Key lime pie.
- Oh come on.

Even fucking Leroy Brown'd
do one more for dessert.

Dude check it out.

I wonder if B.J.
brought the Bear with him.

Jesus!

Dude fucking cut himself
falling out of his time machine.

Could I get a chicken suit
for Stroker Ace please?

And where did you two
disappear to?

I had to get something out of the car
and Nate was gentlemanly enough

to escort me with his umbrella.

Ah good for you Nate.

You see that pretty girl
sitting by herself at the bar?

Who the dirty hippie?

Meow. She's not a hippie.

She might as well be a hippie.

Thank you Timmy boy.

Well do you know
what just happened to her?

No. But I know she's a skinny
fake-blonde bitch.

Oh I'm sorry.
You were telling a story.

What about her?

Hey Warren is there anybody in this place
you could vouch for to give me a ride home?

Fair lady your chariot awaits.

You've been eavesdropping?

Oh eavesdropping
and can't help but hear.

I think I belong
in the latter category.

So uh Icy Hot

are you offering me a ride home?

I'm offering you a lift if
when I'm ready to leave you are too.

And when are you thinking
about leaving?

Truthfully I'm not thinking about it.

But when I do
you will be the first to know.

Will you be able to uh drive later?

I know looks can be deceiving

but I'm a teetotaler.

I've been drinking club soda
and lime all night

and now I'm building up
to my big drink.

Which is what?

Virgin piña colada.

Okay. Why would someone
who doesn't drink

spend hours at a bar
drinking water?

A bar offers all kind of things
other than alcohol.

Mmm. Really?

Like what?

Women nacho grande platters

the fellowship of some
fascinating individuals

like Warren here.

Alcohol is just a lubricant
for all the individual encounters

that a barroom offers.

Ooh. Is that cowboy wisdom?

I'm not a cowboy Pam.

I'm a stuntman.

But that's a very easy mistake to make.

How do you know my name?

When you were talking with Warren

couldn't help but overhear.

Fair enough.
So what's your name Icy?

Stuntman Mike.

Stuntman Mike's your name?

You ask anybody.

Hey Warren who is this guy?

Stuntman Mike.

- And who the hell is Stuntman Mike?
- He's a stuntman.

Warren six shots of Wild Turkey!

Yeah!

Yeah.

Salud.

Down the snatch.

You know Pam
I think it's time for my big drink.

Well Stuntman Mike

since I have a tab here
can I buy you that virgin piña colada?

Thank you Pam.
That would be lovely.

Warren a uh virgin piña colada
for my stuntman friend

and I'll have another
Cadillac Cabo Wabo margarita.

Cabo Wabo virgin.

Hi honey. Lanna Frank.

- Mwah! Hey baby.
- How are you?

Hey.

Hey. What's shaking bacon?

Hey!

It's about fucking time!

Well beggars can't be choosers.

Take a picture.
It lasts longer.

What?

That table. Seems to keep
um getting your attention.

Is that the girl
from the billboard outside?

- Yep.
- She sure is a striking-looking woman.

It's got gin tequila...

- Look at that hair.
- Lots of leave-in conditioner.

- Is that jealousy I detect?
- Hardly.

But if you wanna get with uh Jungle Julia
there's a real easy way to do that.

- Really?
- Yeah.

- What would that be?
- Get famous.

You won't have to find her.
She'll find you.

And you don't even wanna know
what she did for that billboard.

Enjoy it cocksucker.
You've earned it.

What did she ever do to you?

We went to school together
from kindergarten through high school.

That's what she did to me.

She was her height right now at 12.

She was a monster.

Half the guys she still fucks
from the old class

she used to beat up and terrorize
in the fifth grade.

I see. And she used to beat you up
and take your chocolate milk huh?

That pituitary case?

Might've kicked my ass
a couple of times.

Sorry. I'm built like a girl
not a black man.

But I'd die before I ever gave
Julia Lucai my chocolate milk.

Hey are you famous or something?

Or something.

No no no. Really.

Hey what do you do?

Really?

What I do is work my ass off
to get my own record label off the ground.

But why that girl
wanted a picture of me

is because I'm a local deejay.

Wait a minute.

You got a billboard
by Big Kahuna Burger don't you?

Yeah. I got one there
too Zatoichi.

Yeah.

Jungle Julia Lucai.

Stuntman Mike McKay.

Well good to meet you
Stuntman Mike.

Now my friends and I are gonna
continue to get our weed on.

- Would you care for some?
- Thank you Julia.

But just the same no thanks.

- Suit yourself.
- But you know...

Aw shit. Oh God.

Sorry. It's nothing.

What the fuck was that?

Actually I do want you
to have a shot.

You got some voucher here.

I asked him what movies
you worked on.

No fucking clue.

Well technically I really don't know
if he's ever done anything for sure.

I mean he shows me
an episode of High Chaparall

a guy falls off a horse
he says it's him.

You know the show The Virginian?

Yeah well there was another actor
on that show... Gary Clarke...

and I looked like him a bit.

Obviously
before I cut myself shaving.

Oh I like it.

Well damn if you ain't so sweet
you make sugar taste just like salt.

Anyway I did a lot of Virginians
doubling Gary Clarke.

And uh then that show
turned into The Men of Shiloh

they brought on Lee Majors
and I doubled him.

From that point on
I specialized mostly in car stunts.

Yeah I did damn near
the whole third season of Vegas.

I was Robert Urich's driving double.

And then Bob did another show... Gavilan

and he brought me with him on that till...

And after that...

Do you know any of these shows
or people I'm talking about?

Sorry.

- No.
- No.

So how exactly does one
become a stuntman

Stuntman Mike?

Well in Hollywood

anybody fool enough
to throw himself down a flight of stairs

can usually find somebody
to pay him for it.

But really I got into the business

the way most people
get in the stunt business.

- How's that?
- My brother got me in it.

- Well who's your brother?
- Stuntman Bob.

I'm trying to get these two shows
happening in New York for November.

- I'm ready to blaze.
- Finally. Yeah.

- You need to catch up with us.
- Now the party can start.

Yep.

Anyhoo I'm sorry.

Will you forgive me?

But you have to be real nice to me
for the whole rest of the time I'm here.

- Promise. You ready to go to the lake?
- Mm-hmm.

How about your little friend?
You wanna bring him?

I thought no boys.

If you really want him to come
Shanna won't mind.

So how about it?
Boys or just us girls?

Us girls.

Good idea.

Ladies.

Thanks.

Cheers Butterfly.

"The woods are lovely dark and deep

"and I have promises to keep
and miles to go before I sleep.

"Did you hear me Butterfly?

Miles to go before you sleep."

Sorry Stuntman Burt...

Mike.

Mike. She already
broke off that dance.

Is that true?

Did I miss my chance?

Do I frighten you?

Is it my scar?

It's your car.

Ah. Yeah I know.

Sorry.

It's my mom's car.

Have you been following us?

No. But that's what
I love about Austin.

It's just so damn small.

- You've seen this guy before?
- I saw him outside of Guero's.

And I saw you outside Guero's too.

You saw my car I saw your legs.

Now look I ain't stalking y'all
but I didn't say I wasn't a wolf.

So you really weren't following us?

I'm not following you Butterfly.

I just got lucky.

So how about that lap dance?

Sorry. Itwas a one-time-only offer

and she did it earlier
this evening at Anton's.

- No she didn't.
- How do you know?

I'm good that way.

And you look a little touchéd.

- What's "touchéd"?
- Wounded slightly.

Why should I be wounded?

Because you expected guys
to be pestering you all night

but from your look
I can tell nobody pestered you at all.

That kind of hurt your feelings
a little bit didn't it?

There are few things
as fetching as a bruised ego

on a beautiful angel.

So...

how about that lap dance?

I think I'm gonna have to
give you a rain check.

Well since you'll be leaving
in the next couple of days

that rain check will be worthless.

But that's okay.

I understand
if I make you uncomfortable.

You're still a nice girl

and I still like you.

But I must warn you of something.

You know how people say...

"You're okay in my book"

or "ln my book that's no good"?

Well I actually have a book.

And everybody I ever meet

goes in this book.

And now I've met you
and you're going in the book.

Except I'm afraid I must file you...

under "chickenshit."

And what if I did it?

Well I definitely couldn't file you
under "chickenshit" then now could I?

What's your name again?

Stuntman Mike.

Well Stuntman Mike I'm Butterfly.

My friend Jungle Julia over here says
that jukebox inside is pretty impressive.

- Yeah it is.
- Yeah.

Why don't you go get ready
for your lap dance?

What about "kind of cute kind of hot
kind of sexy hysterically funny

but not funny-looking guy
who you could fuck"

did you not understand?

I'm driving.

We're gonna go somewhere else.
We're gonna go hang out.

- You ready to go?
- Yeah.

- Bye.
- Bye.

I think you got Mike laid tonight.

Lookin' good Cannonball Run!

He's just giving me a ride.

- Oh no doubt.
- Have a nice ride!

Look double fucks...

uh-uh I am not gonna fuck him.

I can hear you.

- He's old enough to be my dad...
- I can still hear you.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

Wow that's fucking scary.

Yeah well
I wanted it to be impressive.

Scary tends to impress.

Is it safe?

Oh it's better than safe.
It's death proof.

How do you make a car death proof?

Well that's what stuntmen do.

You've seen a movie
where a car gets into some smash-up

there ain't no way in hell
anybody's walking away from?

Yeah.

Well how do you think they accomplish that?

CGI?

Well unfortunately Pam nowadays
more often than not you're right.

But back in the all-or-nothing days
the Vanishing Point days

the Dirty Mary Crazy Larry days

the White Line Fever days...

real cars
smashing into real cars

with real dumb people
driving them.

So you give the stunt team
the car you want to smash up

take her and reinforce
that fucker everywhere

and voilà you got yourself
a death-proof automobile.

That makes sense.

I just didn't know you could
make a car death proof.

Hell I can drive this baby
into a brick wall

doing 125 miles an hour
just for the experience.

Why is your passenger seat in a box?

Well this is a movie car.

Sometimes when you're shooting a crash
director wants to put a camera in the car.

You know shoot the crash
from the inside.

That's where you put the camera.
They call it a crash box. Here.

There you go.

You know when you asked
to drive me home

you didn't mention your car
didn't have a passenger seat.

Yeah well actually
I didn't ask to drive you home.

You asked me for a ride and I said yes.
But look at the bright side Pam.

I won't be getting fresh
putting my hand on your knee.

That is the bright side.

I thought so.

Well Pam which way you going?

- Left or right?
- Right.

Ah that's too bad.

Why?

Well because there was a 50-50 shot
on whether you'd be going left or right.

You see we're both going left.

You could've just as easily
been going left too

and if that was the case

it would've been a while
before you started getting scared.

But since you're going the other way

I'm afraid...

you're gonna have to start
getting scared...immediately.

What the fuck?

Cocksucking motherfucker!

Just fucking let me out of here!

I'll fucking rip your fucking...

Stop the fucking car!

Okay here's the thing.

I get it.

I... I know it's a joke
and it's super-funny.

Um but if you just stop right now

you know and... and... and let me out

I'll never tell anybody
because I know it's a joke.

I know all about jokes.

I promise everything will be fine.

Just... Just... Just let me out

please and... and...

Hey Pam

remember when I said
this car was death proof?

Well that wasn't a lie.

This car is 100% death proof.

Only to get the benefit of it honey

you really need to be
sitting in my seat.

Now I gotta catch me
my other girlfriends.

No no no no.

It's Dave Dee Dozy
Beaky Mitch and Tich.

So you got it?
Thanks honey.

You're gonna play it next song right?

Good boy.

Growl.

Bye-bye.

Who do you wanna hear?

Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch and Tich.

Who?

Dave Dee Dozy Beaky Mitch and Tich.

Who the fuck are they?

For your information Pete Townshend
at one point almost quit The Who

and if he had
he would've ended up in this group

thus making it Dave Dee Dozy
Beaky Mitch Tich and Pete.

And if you ask me he should have.

That's my boy!

I wanna hear
this part of the song louder!

Do you remember anything?

Uh I don't remember.

Dr. Block.

Self restraints to room 310.

Self restraints to room 310.

Well what's the patient's
prognosis Dr. Block?

I don't really see
it's any of your business.

Come on now sis.

You just tell us.

How bad is he?

He got banged up real good.

Busted nose broken collarbone

smashed up his left index finger.

Is that it?

He was real lucky.

That'll be all?

Why that's more than enough
and I wanna thank you Dr. Block.

Son of a bitch!

So Pop what do you think?

Well son number one

what I think is so goddamn ghoulish

I hesitate to speak it out loud.

Well give it a shot.

Well what we have here
is a case of vehicular homicide.

That old boy in there
murdered them pretty little gals.

I mean he used a car and not a hatchet
but they dead just the same.

Well what are you gonna do?

Not a goddamn thing.

The DA says ain't no crime here.

Every one of them gals
was swimming in alcohol

and floating on weed.

And old Hooper in there

came out clean as a whistle.

Now you actually think that he
premeditatedly murdered them gals?

Well I can't prove it

but since thinking don't cost nothing
I can think it and I do.

Yeah but Pop he got
pretty banged up hisself.

Well hell yeah he got banged up
but God damn!

Them pretty little gals
look like a goddamn giant

chewed 'em up and spit 'em out.

Any of 'em survive?

Shit.

Two tons of metal
200 miles an hour

flesh and bone
and plain old Newton...

They all princess died.

Why?

Well I'd guestimate
it's a sex thing.

The only way I can figure it.

High-velocity impact

twisted metal busted glass

all four souls taken
exactly at the same time.

Probably the only way that
diabolical degenerate can shoot his goo.

Yeah I think the only thing
we can dream of getting that bastard on

is vehicular manslaughter
for the hitchhiker in the death box.

That was just plain old goddamn
reckless endangerment.

But I got me a goddamn bartender
gonna testify

that old Stuntman Mike
didn't drink a drop all night

and his passenger
was left stranded by her date

in the goddamn rain no less
and she asked him for the fucking ride.

Now on paper it's gonna look like
he's just trying to help her out.

I mean that's the way
the jury's gonna see it.

So what are you gonna do Pop?

Well I can take it upon myself
to work the case you know

in my off hours.

Search for evidence
you know to prove my theory.

Alert authorities.
Dog that rotten son of a bitch.

Wherever he goes I go.

Or I can spend

the same goddamn amount
of time and energy

following the NASCAR circuit.

Hmm. I thought about it a lot.

I think I'd have a hell of lot
happier life if I did the latter.

And just because I can't punish old...
Frankenstein in there for what he's done

I'm gonna tell you
like the Lord told John.

If he ever does it again

I can make goddamn sure
he don't do it in Texas.

- So are you on the same floor with him?
- No he's on the 4th and I'm on the 7th.

- Who's in whose room?
- He's in mine.

- And so what happened then?
- That was pretty much it.

We made out in the hall for about 10 minutes
and then I sent him off to his room.

- So how's The Rock as a kisser?
- Mmm he's damn good!

He's got them mushy lips
and fingertips.

Mmm I love them mushy lips.

And he's a big guy

so he spins me around
so my back's up against him.

Then he takes his big hand
and he puts it on my throat

tilts my head back
and leans over me

kisses me from behind.

- Damn that sounds sexy!
- Mmm it was sexy.

But then that was it?
You sent him off?

How'd he take it?

Wait a minute.
What are we doing here?

If I'm gonna power through
and pick up Zoë at the airport

I need a big-ass cup of coffee.

Since you're getting that

can you get some more vodka
and some more sugar-free Red Bull?

We didn't know you were awake.

I'm not awake. I'm asleep.

But get some more vodka
and some more sugar-free Red Bull anyway.

And some Red Apple Tans.

Damn! I didn't stop
to get you bitches groceries!

- You remember how
to get to the airport don't you?
- Uh-huh.

Well then you should
get behind the wheel

'cause you gonna drive.

Motherfuckers!

They ain't got sugar-free Red Bull.

They got regular Red Bull
and sugar-free G.O. juice.

- G.O.
- G.O.!

Where the hell are my keys?
Oh here they are.

Oh sorry. I didn't mean
to give you a concert there.

No it wasn't you.

That guy bumped into my feet
when he walked by.

I don't know why
but that kind of creeped me out.

Little dick.

Clearly.

Since I'm up

I might as well hit the ATM.

Get me a fucking smoke.

What?

Did you just see the...

What?

Nothing honey.

Yello.

It's me.

Miss me?

Oh you best get your ass
off Kim's car.

I've seen Kim sit on it before.

Her ass ain't your ass.

Okay.

So I think I'm in
this month's issue of Allure.

You got Allure?

Magazines by the window.

Here you are!

You hot mama you.

See you in a second.

3.85. Out of 20.

And you get 15 and change back.

Thank you very much.

You know I got other fashion magazines
for sale behind the counter.

No that's okay.
This'll be all.

- Thought I'd ask.
- Thanks anyway.

Have a good one.

I got this month's issue
of Italian Vogue.

This month's?

Listen to this.

The Circle A clerk has
this month's issue of Italian Vogue.

- No way.
- Way.

I can't believe a fucking Circle A
carries Italian Vogue.

It doesn't.
It's his own personal copy.

He'll let it go for 27 bucks.

Twenty-seven bucks?

What the fuck do you care?
We're talking about fucking per diem here.

Look we found an issue of Italian Vogue
in Lebanon Tennessee.

We're lucky he's not asking
for fucking Krugerrands.

I'm getting it
and we're splitting it three ways.

What me you and Kim?

No Kim doesn't give a shit
about Italian Vogue.

But Brandy will come in with us
and if she won't Tysla her sister will.

Okay. But if anybody
tears out any sheets I want

you gotta make color Xerox
of those pages.

And I'm not talking fucking Kinko's
here either okay?

You take it to the art department
you have them do it fucking right.

You guys are good.

Oh my God.

That's it. That's it.

Oh boy.

Your timing couldn't be better Zoë.

It just so happens that we're all three off
duty for the next three days of shooting.

Fucking hell.
How does that happen?

Well I'm doing Lindsay Lohan's makeup
and she's off for the next three days

there's no stunts being filmed
during that time so Kim's free

and Lee's on a "will notify"
for the next four days.

So how's the shoot going?

Great. We're having the best time.

The director Cecil Evans
is so much fun.

We're making the coolest movie
and partying all the time.

Hell yeah. The next job after this one
is definitely gonna suck.

So let's hear it ladies.

Set romances.
Who's getting it off?

That would be Lee and Toolbox.

Oh Toolbox.
Name sounds promising.

- He's a grip.
- What he is is a pervert.

Well he just keeps sounding
better and better.

What's his perversion?

He likes to watch me pee.

Lee is sitting on the toilet
and Toolbox is watching her pee.

P-I-S-S-l-N-G.

Yeah but not no more.

Now she's getting it on with The Rock.

- You're having one off with The Rock?
- Not the real Rock.

He's this electrician named Bruce.

And Kim started calling him The Rock
'cause he kind of looks like The Rock

so now we all just call him The Rock.

Oh yeah.
This is an all-star crew.

We got a guy who looks like Nick Cage

and a guy who looks
like Pee-wee Herman too.

Kim dick department.
Let's hear it.

Mm-mm. No dick this trip.

I got a man.

- How long have you had this boyfriend?
- About three months.

Who'd you steal him from?

- Nobody.
- Kim!

Wha... What?

He totally had a girlfriend.

All of Kim's boyfriends start out
as somebody else's boyfriend.

I did not steal him.

I didn't steal any of them.

They just...jumped ship.

So what's your story Abernathy?

Oh Abbie's got the big kahuna.

I had a set crush on Cecil.

Set crush? Nigga please!
You were his set wife.

"Were" and "had"
being the key words here.

Bitch you two are still
into each other and you know it.

Yeah well
if he's so in love with me

then whey did he fuck
Daryl Hannah's stand-in?

Ho-ho-ho!

Yes men are dogs.
Oh it's so funny!

Oh it's so funny!

Oh stop acting all hurt.
Your ass just mad.

Yeah he's a stand-in fucker.

Bitch you need to get over that shit.
That was two weeks ago.

Oh well
now that you put it like that.

Oh I haven't told you
the best part.

He fucked her on my birthday.

Oh that's a horse of a different color.

Thank you.

Did he know it was your birthday?

He's the director.
He's kind of busy.

He ate a piece of my birthday cake
and he got me a present.

Yeah I think he knew.

Well what did he get you?

He made me a tape.

He made you a tape?

- Yeah.
- Wait.

He didn't burn you a CD .
He made you a tape?

- Yeah.
- Oh that is so romantic.

Yes. I know what you're gonna say
so don't even go there.

That sounds like the test
of true love to me.

Look I know you guys like him.

He's likable but he fucked
another woman on my birthday.

How can you not be on my side?

Well I admit that sounds bad.

It is bad!

It just sounds like
there's a little more to it than that.

- Were you two fucking?
- Hell no.

Hello. Is your name Abernathy?

Sorry.

The answer to your question
is no of course not.

What do you mean
"No of course not"?

The reason Cecil hasn't had a girlfriend
in six years is because girls will fuck him.

And if you fuck Cecil
you don't become one of his girlfriends.

Not to say I want
to be his girlfriend

but if I did want to be his girlfriend

if I fucked him
I wouldn't be his girlfriend.

I'd be one of his regulars.

And I'm just getting
too fucking old for that shit.

Have you let him do anything?

Yes!

I've let him give me a foot massage

and when we go to the movies
I've let him hold my hand.

Bitch you might be acting
like you 12 years old

but he just acting like a man.

You need to break
that nigga off a piece.

Let me get this straight.

- You're not fucking him...
- Mm-mm.

- you're not sucking him...
- Mm-mm.

you're not giving him any tongue
but Daryl Hannah's stand-in is.

Okay can we just take
my sex life off the table?

Actually uh it was Cecil's sex life
that was on the table and your lack of one.

Ohhh!

Fuck both of you
and your little high five.

Before you can claim a nigga
you got to claim a nigga

and you can start by giving
that motherfucker a hand job

in the back of the van on Tuesday.

I'm not gonna do that.

I know you won't.
But you know who will.

The bitch that ends up living
in that big-ass mansion of his.

Now I gotta say I haven't entirely agreed
with everything Kim said but it is true:

If you stretch shit out
like you have with Cecil

and you suddenly get dirty on them

it blows their mind.

So Zoë Kim and I are in the Philippines
at an outdoor rave.

- What were you working on?
- Three Kicks to the Head Part Three.

And admittedly
we're a little fucked-up.

- Cheers to that.
- Word.

Cheers.

So Zoë

the genius

wants to take a picture of me.

It's dark as hell
and you can't see shit.

So she's got her camera
and keeps saying

"Step back a little" so I do.

Then "A little further"
so I step back a little further.

Then "A little more" so I do.

Then I realize I'm right at the edge

of a seven-foot concrete ditch

with God knows how many rocks
and broken bottles and rats in it

and if I fell in that fucking thing
I'd probably would've broken my fucking neck.

So I'm yelling at her
"Zoë you almost killed me!"

So we laugh about it
and walk a little further

and Zoë starts fucking around

and damn if she doesn't fall
in the fucking ditch.

Nice. Nice.

Thank you. Yep. Thank you.

I remember taking a step
and looking down.

Just as I'm thinking
"There's that ditch Abbie was talking about"

bam I'm in the fucking ditch
you know?

What happened?

What with Zoë the cat?
Nothing.

If I fell in that fucking thing

they would've had to
helicopter me out of there.

Zoë just lands on her feet.

But then later I started feeling
a little bad about myself.

Zoë falls in the ditch
and it's nothing.

We're laughing about it.

If I fell in that fucking thing

I probably would've been
fucking paralyzed.

Oh honey you can't think like that.

You know we all have
our individual talents

and that just happens
to be one of Zoë's.

- Yeah.
- Well...

physically speaking Zoë is amazing.

I mean agility reflexes nimbleness.

There's few human beings
that can fuck with Zoë on that front.

Oh Kim I like you too.

Having said that

before you get too envious
of Zoë's prowess

you're missing the most important
part of that story.

You didn't fall in the ditch
Zoë did.

Zoë even knew there was a ditch there
because you told her

and she still fell in.

So Lee's right.
We all have our talents.

Hey I resemble that remark.

So Kim
you still pack a roscoe?

Check it out bitch.

- Ooh nice one mate.
- I know this.

- What's a roscoe?
- A roscoe is a pistol.

- You carry a gun?
- Uh-huh.

- You have a license to carry it?
- Yeah.

When I became a Secret Service agent
they gave me a license.

Oh I didn't know you were...

Okay I didn't say it all right?
Stop looking at me. I didn't say it.

God!

Did you know Kim carried a gun?

Yes. Now do I approve? No.

Do I know? Yes.

Look I don't know what
futuristic utopia you live in

but the world I live in
a bitch need a gun.

You can't get around the fact
that people who carry guns

tend to get shot
more than people who don't.

And you can't get around the fact
that if I go down

to the laundry room in my building
at midnight enough times

I might get my ass raped.

Don't do your laundry at midnight.

Fuck that. I wanna do my laundry
whenever the fuck I wanna do my laundry.

There are other things
you can carry other than a gun.

Pepper spray.

Uh motherfucker try to rape me
I don't wanna give him a skin rash.

I wanna shut that nigga down.

How about a knife at least?

Yeah. You know what happens
to motherfuckers carry knives?

They get shot!

Look if I ever become
a famous actress

I won't carry a gun.

I'll hire me a do-dirt nigga
and he'll carry the gun.

And when shit goes down
I'll sit back and laugh.

But until that day
it's Wild West motherfucker.

So Zoë you thought about
what you want to do first?

It just so happens
I know exactly what I wanna do.

Oh really?

And what would that be?

To me there's no point
in being in America

unless you can drive
a Detroit muscle car.

And I wanna drive a Dodge Challenger.

Fuck me swinging balls out.

Um well I guess we can talk to Transpo.

But does it have to be
a Dodge Challenger?

Not just that.

It has to be a 1970 Dodge Challenger
with a 440 engine.

How in the fuck
do you expect to do that?

No worries mate.

I've got it all worked out.

When I knew I was coming here
I went online and found out

that the local paper here in Tennessee
is the Lebanon News Sentinel.

- So back home...
- I'm sorry. Where's home?

Australia right?

What do you mean by that mate?

Zoë's from New Zealand
and you never...

I repeat never...
call a Kiwi an Aussie.

That is unless you want
your ass kicked.

I'm so sorry.
I really am.

Oh it's okay.

We're just taking the piss
out of you mate.

Auckland to answer your question.

Anyway I subscribed
to the local paper a month ago.

Now why the fuck you want a local
redneck newspaper in New Zealand?

Pipe down and I'll tell you.

I've been getting the paper
for the last month

and I've been checking the classified
at the back looking at cars for sale.

So as of yesterday

for sale in this town

some dude is selling a stock
1970 Dodge Challenger

with a 440 engine
and a white paint job.

And you wanna buy it?

Kim I may be stupid
but I'm not bloody stupid.

I wanna say I wanna buy it
so he'll let me test-drive it.

A 1970 Dodge Challenger
with a white paint job.

- Oh uh Kowalski.
- Kowalski from Vanishing Point.

- Mate it's a fucking classic!
- Mmm I get it.

If I can get this guy
to let me drive it without him

I will blow the doors off that bitch.

- What's Vanishing Point?
- Oh God.

"What's Vanishing Point?"

Abs I'm supposed to be
the illiterate one.

It's just one of the best
American movies ever made.

Actually Zoë most girls
wouldn't know Vanishing Point.

Excuse me. "Most girls"?

What the fuck are you two?

Yeah well we're gearheads.
Of course we watched it.

Y'all grew up watching
that Pretty in Pink shit.

Oh I like Pretty in Pink.

What so you didn't watch
John Hughes movies?

Of course I did.
I'm a girl.

But I also watched car shit too.

- Vanishing Point Dirty Mary Crazy Larry...
- Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

Gone in 60 Seconds...

The real one
not that Angelina Jolie bullshit.

We have an outdoors theater
in Auckland.

It plays Vanishing Point
Big Wednesday

all the classics.

What do you horny gals want?

Hey you got a 1970
Dodge Challenger for sale?

Right up here ladies.

This shit is off the fucking hook!

Fucking legendary mate.

Sweet ass. Well if you'll
excuse me for a moment

I'd just like to have a word alone
with my business associate.

- You ladies take your time.
- Okay.

Mmm.

What are you waiting for?
Ask him to let you drive it by yourself.

I... I intend to but first
I need to ask you something.

What?

If he lets us take it out on our own
I wanna play ship's mast.

- Oh hell no!
- Would you keep it down?

- Ain't no way I'm doing ship's mast.
- For Christ sakes...

- Don't blaspheme.
- Sorry.

Now what did you say
after the last time?

- Look I know what I said...
- What did you say?

- I know I said we shouldn't do this again...
- No. You didn't say we shouldn't.

You said we ain't ever
gonna do that again.

- Yeah but...
- "But" my ass!

You said not only are we never
gonna play ship's mast again

but you also said if you ever do
what you trying to do now

to not only refuse
but that I had permission

to physically restrain
your ass if necessary.

Now did you
or did you not say that?

- Well...
- No no no no.

Answer the question
motherfucker.

Did you or did you not say that?

Yes I said that.
However...

Whatever with your "however."

Look I know I said it
and I know I meant it...

Damn skippy you meant it.

Yeah but when I said it
I didn't mean in America.

- Oh nigga please!
- Really...

I meant we should never play
ship's mast again

in New Zealand or Australia.

You are such a liar.

Look I know what I said
when I said it.

But when I said it I didn't know
I'd ever come to America.

And when I said it if I had known
I was going to come to America

and had the opportunity
to play ship's mast

with a fucking
Vanishing Point Challenger

I would've added a "however."

Right?

Okay oddly enough
I actually understood that.

However just because you
talked yourself into some stupid shit

doesn't mean I have lost
my goddamn mind.

You need two people
to play ship's mast and I ain't playing.

I'll be your best friend.

I don't need me no best friend
lives on the other side of planet Earth.

- I'll crack your back.
- You'll crack it anyway.

Well of course I'll crack it anyway.

But now while I'm here
I'll be your back-cracking slave.

Whenever you want it you got it.
You don't even have to ask for it.

You just order me to do it.
Just be like...

"Bitch get over here and get busy."

- You crack my back
you'll give me foot massages...
- Mm-hmm. Mmm.

and after a shower
you put moisturizer on my butt.

Deal.

So we're gonna see if this guy'll
let us take the car out without him.

If he does you wait here with Lee
and we'll be back in a moment.

What?

I said we're gonna see if this guy'll
let us take the car out without him...

I heard what you said.

I just can't believe what you said.

You know you two got
some fucking balls.

What?

Don't play dumbass with me.

I've been up all night.

I'm still a little drunk
and I have a hangover.

I should be in my hotel room asleep
not fucking around here on Tobacco Road.

But because Zoë wanted to drive
some fucking Vanishing Point car I'm here.

Now you two got the balls
to ask me... no scratch that...

tell me I gotta go make
conversation with Tom Joad

while the cool kids
get to go out and play?

Bullshit on that.

- Itain't like that.
- Then what's it like Kim?

You guys are our collateral.

He is never gonna go for it
if we all go.

I really think one human being
will be collateral enough.

You're not gonna wanna do
what we're doing.

What drive a car?

- Mmm.
- We're doing more than that.

What drive it fast?

We're doing more than that.

Actually
we're paying you a compliment

'cause we gonna do
some stupid shit.

But that's okay.
We're stunt people.
We ain't got good sense.

But you got good sense

and anybody with good sense
ain't gonna wanna do what we're doing.

How do you know
I don't wanna do it?

- 'Cause you're a mom.
- Yeah.

You know we're supposed
to be this big posse

but that's the excuse you guys use

whenever you want
to exclude me from something.

So what is it you two daredevils
are doing that I'm just so uncool

I couldn't possibly understand?

You know
we're kind of conning this guy

so maybe it's best that we don't go
into detail about it while he's watching us.

Besides he's probably not
gonna let us do it anyway.

Okay. How about this?

I'll talk him into it.

But if I talk him into it I go along.

- How you gonna do that?
- Eh that's my problem.

But don't worry.

He'll say yes.

What are you gonna do
blow him?

No!

I'm gonna insinuate
that Lee's gonna blow him.

That's good.

Not really.

But let me handle it.
We got a deal?

Okay Mommy listen up.

You wanna hang with the cool kids

you got to be cool.

We take you along
you don't say shit.

You don't even say crap.

You just sit in the back
and I don't wanna hear

a peep out of your ass
you understand?

- Got it.
- I'm serious now.

You start nagging us
we're pulling over to the side of the road

kicking your ass out
and picking you up later.

Agreed.

Okay. Go work your magic.

- Hello sir.
- Hello!

- Hello. What's your name?
- Jasper.

Hello Jasper.
I'm Abernathy.

- Aber... what?
- Abernathy.

- What's your first name?
- That is my first name.

What kind of first name is that?

You know what?
Just call me Abbie.

Okay Abbie.

Jasper we were wondering
if my friends and I

could take the car out
for a little test-drive out on our own.

You know just to see
if we're comfortable in it.

Why would I do
something stupid like that?

To better sell your automobile.

How do I know y'all ain't
just gonna steal it?

Four reasons actually.

One we're not thieves.

Two that would be rude.

Three we're staying
at the Days Inn in town.

You can call the hotel
check with management.

We're registered
for the next month.

Actually Zoë's not.

But Kim and I are
so we're totally track-downable.

Who's Kim? The colored girl?

Yes. Kim would be
the girl of color.

And reason number four
and the most important

while we're taking the car out
for a little spin

that'll give you a better opportunity
to get acquainted

with our other friend Lee.

Why does she look kind of familiar?

That would be because
she's a famous actress.

Oh.

Why is she dressed like that?

Well you see we're making
a Hollywood movie in town

and it's a cheerleader movie
and she's one of the cheerleaders.

What's a cheerleader movie?

A movie about cheerleaders.

Is it a porno movie?

Yes it is.

But don't mention it.

She's shy.

Lee this is Jasper.
Jasper Lee.

Now you two kids
stay out of trouble.

Hey good-lookin'
be back to pick you up later.

Ta-ta!

Gulp.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

I think I'm thinking it.

What are you and you thinking?

I'm thinking we told your ass
to shut the fuck up.

- Where y'all going?
- You stay put.

I gotta take a...

So you ready to do this?

You sure?

Well I always don't wanna do it
right before I'm gonna do it.

You know what I mean?

Yeah I know what you mean
'cause I don't wanna do it.

- Kim...
- I'm just saying.

Look if you're gonna take
the piss out of it...

I'm just saying.

You wanna start out on top?

Practically doesn't count
if you start on the top.

Here are your gloves.

No no no no.
I'm wearing the jacket.

This is my jacket.

Um ain't you 'posed to be
my slave or some shit?

- Come on.
- I'm the one who's on the fucking bonnet!

"Bonnet" my ass.
You on the hood.

Y'all I think I hear a car coming!

Give me your belt.

Oh.

But this is my cute shit.

- Well...
- Fuck that.

Get Abernathy's belt.

Fine. We'll use Abbie's belt.

- Give me your belt.
- No.

- Prada.
- Come on give her the belt.

Magic word.

Please give her the belt.

Just 'cause you asked nicely.

- It's nice to be nice Kim!
- Whatever.

You know what?

Don't even fucking think about asking me
next time you want me to do your hair.

Your ass gonna do it.

Yeah and you'll ask
"pretty please" bitch

because that's what you do
when no one else is looking.

You ain't that fucking hard.

I ain't getting that shit.

Abernathy don't get
on my nerves right now.

I got shit on my mind.

Ooh!

You know I ain't six.

It's cold. Can we roll up
one of these windows?

No.

Okay Abernathy.
Check this out.

What the fuck are you guys doing?

What does that mean?

Whoa.

Faster you black bitch! Faster!

Is that fast enough for your bony ass?

Whoohoo!

Whoa-ho-ho-ho!

Abernathy get your ass up here.

All righty.

Whoa whoa whoa.

Go go go!

Check it out bitch.
You want it fucking faster?

- Oh my God.
- What the fuck? Shit!

Zoë!

Damn it!

Now.

Did you do something to him?

- Did you say something?
- Nothing! Nothing!

Shit!

Shit here he comes!
Here he comes!

- Oh Shit!
- Shit! Oh shit!

- Whoa.
- Hold on Zoë!

Oh my God! Zoë!

- Oh! Hold on!
- I can't!

Whoo!

Fuck you motherfucker!

Zoë! Zoë!

- I'm sorry I called you a black bitch!
- I forgive you! Now hold the fuck on!

Whoa! Whoa! Get away!

Oh shit!
I can't fucking see! I can't see!

Zoë move your legs!

Fuck you!

Come on! Come on!

Redneck lunatic bastard!

Get away from me!

Baby just hold on!

- Zoë...
- Fuck you!

- Oh my God!
- Come on! Come on!

Fucking get away from me!

- Oh shit!
- I'm scared Kim! I'm really scared!

- I know baby. Just hold on.
- Watch your feet!

- You wanna get hot? You wanna get hot?
- You fucking psychotic bitch!

- Zoë!
- Here suck on this for a while!

Zoë!

God damn it!

Zoë!

He's coming up!

Get away from us you cocksucker!

Leave us alone!

- Fuck you motherfucker!
- Fuck you!

Zoë! Zoë! Zoë!

Hold on!

- Zoë!
- Zoë!

I don't want to die.

Look out!

Get ready to fly bitch!

- Zoë!
- Zoë hold on!

He's right on your ass.
He's right on your fucking ass.

Hey!

Whoo-hoo!

Hey ladies!

That was fun!

Well adios!

Ow! Fuck!

Shit! Fuck!

Ooh I know I hit your ass!

Better run motherfucker!

Bitch!

I'm okay!

Oh shit! God damn it!

Oh you fucking bitch!

Of course you are.
Of course you are.

What was I thinking?

What was I thinking?
Zoë the fucking cat!

Whew! That was a close one.

So where's the maniac?

I shot him
and his punk-ass sped off.

You wanna go get him?

Oh hell yeah!

Honey I think
you might want to get out.

Fuck that shit.

Let's kill this bastard.

Okay get your ass in the back.
Let's go.

Fuck this mother...

- Wait.
- Where the fuck you going?

I'll be back.

Yeah that'll smart.
Sweet. Let's go.

Oh fuck yeah bitch!
Come on. Bring that shit.

Giddyap Kim!

Yeah!

Ohhh!

Oh why? Oh no!

Ah do it!

Do it!

Do it!

Ohhhh no!

No no no!

No God...

All right get it together.

Get it... Get it...

What are you... What are you...
What are you gonna do?

Kick his ass Zoë!

Hey now I wanna play!

Fucking fuck you!

Where do you think
you're fucking going?

Where the fuck
do you think you're going?

Come here...

Go!

What's wrong with your ass now
motherfucking cocksucker?

I got your ass!

Oh you gonna wiggle your ass at me?
Gonna wiggle it at me? Oh no.

Oh don't like it up the ass
do ya ya redneck lunatic bastard?

- Oh yeah!
- Hola papi!

Bitch I'm gonna bust a nut
up in this bitch right now!

Ow! I'm the horniest
motherfucker on the road!

Boo-yah bitch!

Did you just hit a boat?

Yeah Kim get him!

Get him get him get him!

Forget about the cows motherfucker!
Move motherfucker move!

Move motherfucker!

I'm about to bust a nut
up in this bitch motherfucker!

Watch it watch it
watch it watch it.

Tapping that ass! Tapping that ass!
Tapping it tapping it tapp...

Stupid bastard.

Shit.

Oh you know I can't let you go...

without tapping that ass...

Oh fuck me!

- One...
- Kim?

- More...
- Kim?

Time!

Boo-yah!

That's what the fuck
I'm talking about bitch!

Oh shit.

Aw come on!

Come on!

You thought you lost us motherfucker.

We back motherfucker.
We back.

Who's got you now bitch?

Shit.

Come on!

Here's Cha Cha!

You miss us
you lunatic bastard?

- I'm sorry!
- What?

I didn't... I didn't mean anything!

I... I was just playing around!

- Oh he was playing around.
- He was just playing.

Well I ain't playing with you!

Oh look out look out look out! Oh!

Watch the sign!

Oh shit! Aah!

- Whoa Kim...
- Oh sh...

- Come on.
- Don't run don't run motherfucker.

Don't run! Shit!

Whoa!

Yeah!

Yeah!

Jesus fucking Christ!
It's about time!

- Go Daddy go.
- Just go go go go go go!

Please don't dead-end.
Please don't dead-end.

Please don't dead-end.

Please don't dead-end.
Please don't dead-end.

Please don't dead-end.

Please don't dead-end.
Please don't dead-end.

Oh there the motherfucker is.

- Go go go go!
- Get him get him get him!

Ahh.

Help me!

Oh help me!

Be careful!
My right arm's broken!

This one?

Oh you want some shit?

Motherfucker kiss my fucking ass.

You piece of shit.

Bitch!

Motherfucker!

Motherfucker!

Motherfucker!

Asshole!