All language subtitles for Columbo 6 - Suitable For Framing (1971) TV

(# Romantic ballad)

(Doorbell)

- You're late.
- Sorry. The path out there was dark.

- Anybody see you?
- No. And I parked where you told me.

Good. Take that.

Pull yourself together.
There's no reason to be frightened.

It's just my uncle.

I assure you, he's far more amiable now
than he ever was when he was alive.

- I'll be all right.
- Of course you will, my love.

I couldn't possibly be any help
to your career from inside a gas chamber.

Don't say things like that.

Anyway, what difference
does my career make?

Dale, look, they're all yours now.

They will be,
but not unless you do your part.

Don't worry, Dale.
I was just a little upset.

- Now I'm fine.
- Good.

Now remember, open the window, fire high.

- You better get started.
- The blanket goes upstairs...

Top drawer, left side. How many times
have you told me that? Dale, hurry!

All right, Melvin? 5,000 and it's a steal.

Please move faster.
Boys, keep those bottles popping.

Thank you. Good evening.

- $1,000? And you're not even a Frenchman.
- Mingle, mingle.

Well, the only thing I really need is
something pink for the guest bathroom.

I just paint the pictures, ma'am,
I don't set prices.

Don't pick on my artist, darling.
Your husband adores cactus.

I know, but it's the wrong shade
of pink for the wallpaper.

Well, how about 800? If he takes
the green Indian to go in the office.

Mind you... I'm so glad you...

Oh, excuse me.

Dale! Dale Kingston,
I don't believe it.

Your invitation said free champagne.
Mitilda, my love.

You're such a snob. You never come
to my showings. Sam, quick!

I had nothing to do.
I was half hoping it'd be over by...

Oh, it's just begun.
Please, Dale. Excuse me.

This is Sam Franklin.

It's his first private showing, so be nice.

Honey, this is Dale Kingston.

- How do you do?
- Yes, yes. How do you do, sir?

You must be the artist
of these arid little landscapes?

- They're not too bad.
- Thank you.

- Mr Kingston? Mr Dale Kingston?
- Yes.

And you're the famous art critic?

Well, as of the moment, yes...

Of course he is, darling, and you're
already raving about Sam's work.

I'm sorry. You couldn't possibly have
this cactus for a penny less than 12.

- I have five minutes to 11, sir.
- Five to 11?

- Yes.
- So it is.

Thank you very much, Mr Franklin.

- Oh, of course you'd love champagne.
- Oh, you bet.

Sam, the painting.

So that the meaning of the mobile
stems not only from its form

but the relationship between the pieces,
which gives it its meaning.

I suppose the relationship between
the pieces is really where it's at, isn't it?

Yes.

(Gunshot)

(Key turning in lock)

It's not so much
a question of his masculinity,

I think the artist just saw him that way.

I'll drink to that.

You notice, no matter
how abstract the painter,

he always signs his name realistically,
doesn't he?

Of course.

- Were you home tonight?
- No, sir.

My wife and I left the house at eight.
It's our regular night off.

There are no other servants
in a place this size?

Well, Mr Mathews seldom entertained.

He was divorced years ago
and has very few friends.

- Tonight he planned to spend reading...
- Just a minute.

- You want anything more from Mr Evans?
- No.

Please, sir!

Mr Mathews was very fussy about smoking.

Oh, sorry.

Doctor, call us from downtown.

The autopsy won't change my opinion.

It was a single bullet.
Must've died almost instantly.

- And the time of death?
- Around 11, give or take, wasn't it?

Yeah. The body was still warm.

Talk to you later, Captain.

Oh, Mr Kingston! I've been trying
to reach you. I'm so terribly sorry.

- Somebody broke in?
- Your uncle probably came down...

He just got back to his apartment
at two o'clock...

- His gun is missing.
...after some party at a gallery.

There are two paintings missing.
I told them to wait for you.

We've been waiting to dust
some canvases for fingerprints.

- Evans would only let us touch the frames.
- As long as you're careful.

- Which ones did you want?
- These.

I suppose he's gonna be your new boss?

Well, I would hope he keeps on
and keeps the house.

After all, he's Mr Mathews'
only living relative.

- Really, sir, at a time like this...
- I'm sorry. You're absolutely right.

Would you like to see your wife?
I'm sure she's very upset.

Thank you.

Mr Kingston, before you get too involved...
Excuse me a minute, Captain.

I wonder if maybe first you'd try
to help me out with a problem I have?

Yes.

It's this painting.

What's the problem? Haven't you
ever seen people without faces before?

They've loaned them out.
You've heard of two-faced people?

Oh, yes. But, er...

it's this crazy signature that bothers me...

De Groat. George de Groat. Quite famous.

I thought so. Isn't that funny?

Cos I noticed the signatures
on this other painting...

- Does that say Birnbaum?
- Yes.

That's what I thought. "Birnbaum."

You'd think these artists
could write more clearly.

Really, do you think this is
quite appropriate at this time, Mr...

Oh, I guess not. I realise
this has been a terrible shock for you.

- My deepest sympathy.
- Thank you, Mr...

- Lieutenant Columbo.
- Oh, yes. Thank you.

Tell me, Mr Kingston, has anybody
tried to rob this place before?

Certainly. This place is
a magnet for art thieves,

- it's one of the world's finest collections.
- Is that so? Really?

Very impressive.

You seem inordinately fascinated
by these paintings.

I'll tell you what bothers me.
You see, it's this.

If you came in here
to grab some paintings,

wouldn't you grab a De Groat first,
instead of a Birnbaum?

Perhaps. But then I'm an art critic.

- You're the detective.
- You're the art critic. That's right.

I'm gonna need a lot of your help.
I suppose you noticed.

Like in there, there's two little frames
and they're empty

and there doesn't seem to be
anything around that fits inside.

Oh, no.

Mr Evans wasn't quite sure either.

He thought one of 'em had
some dancing girls.

But I don't think he knows
much about art either.

He said a lot of these had just been rehung,
just back from some travelling exhibit?

Yes, that's what those crates are.
I unpacked most of them myself.

I noticed a piece of that wrapping paper
was torn loose.

These two are listed
in the exhibit catalogue.

Got that in here somewhere.

- Here, look.
- Those were the two that were taken?

- Yes.
- Hey, they're beautiful.

(Kingston) Two of my favourites.
Degas pastels.

Pastels? You mean like
the kids use in school?

Nobody ever used pastels like Degas.

These two happen to be worth
over a half million dollars.

(Whistles)

You know, that's funny too.

No, there isn't a painting in
this exhibit that's worth under 50,000.

No, I mean that out there,
somebody picked a Birnbaum first.

Then when your uncle interfered, when
he went to his desk and took out a gun,

then when he was killed, during all that,

then the thief suddenly got smart

and he took two of the most valuable
paintings in the house and ran.

Guess that does seem a bit inconsistent.

Then, life has its own inconsistencies.

Lieutenant Columbo?

Oh, Sally, nice of you to come.

Let's go out back. I wanna try something.

Mr Kingston, you might be interested in this.

- Er, you were here?
- Yeah, that's right.

- Wait there. I'll holler.
- All right.

- Hi.
- Hi. Hi, Charlie. How are you?

What's all this?

Private patrolmen here
make checks every hour.

- At 11...
- No, no. I mean this.

- What? Oh, the lock?
- Yes.

He found that open. The lock was scarred
like it'd been forced from the outside.

I don't understand
why the burglar alarm didn't go off.

- A professional thief could manage that.
- No, no.

Professionals always pick windows.
They're easier to crack.

- Sally, ready?
- Whenever you are.

OK. When I holler inside,
you run just the way I told you to run.

OK! Here she goes!

(Heels clacking)

- Well?
- That's it. That's what I heard.

I couldn't be sure before.
I was running myself.

- You heard high heels on those steps?
- Yes, sir.

- Thank you.
- You bet.

- Charlie, will you get Sally?
- Wait. You think the thief was a woman?

- One of 'em.
- One of them?

There were too many pictures
for one person to carry, right?

And the burglar alarm thing,
there's only one way to beat that.

You have somebody from the inside
open the door.

I don't think I understand.

You know what?
That's the trouble. Neither do I.

If you ever want to know
any more about art...

Thank you very much.
Listen, now that you mention it, tell me this.

How does a thief
get rid of a painting like that?

If they're that famous,
how can anybody sell it?

Well, someone in a foreign country, maybe.

Art thieves usually try
to make a deal with the owner,

the gallery, the insurance company.

That's what I thought.
It's just like a kidnapping.

What they want really is the ransom.

- Exactly.
- Right.

So, in this case, somebody must be
pretty scared now, don't you think?

Might be anxious to settle quick.

- Possibly.
- Sure.

And since you're
the first person they might try to contact...

I'll tell you what.
You give me your telephone number

and I'll put a tap on your phone
and we'll monitor all your calls.

You wouldn't mind that, would you?

Of course not. Why should I?

- Gee, thank you very much.
- Good night.

Good night.

(Phone)

(Ringing tone)

(Bell)

Oh...

- Look out!
- Gee, I'm sorry.

That's all right. I've been
bumping into things today too.

Too much of the grape last night.
I didn't clear out till 3am.

Mr Kingston went home a little earlier?

Well, he stayed long enough to make every
other gallery owner green with envy.

Dale is usually in London or Paris.
He doesn't fool around with us peasants.

I'll tell you what I really wanna know -
what time he got here.

Yes. I know, I know.
Sam is right through there.

I called the parking boy, he'll be over soon.

Sam, this is the policeman who phoned.

- Is it all right?
- Bring him in.

They interrupted Rembrandt,
why shouldn't they interrupt me?

Yeah, what is it?

- If I'm interrupting...
- You're not interrupting.

Forgive the mood
but you caught me on a bad day.

- This here is Chris.
- Oh, hi.

- Hello. Are you an artist?
- No.

- I can come back...
- Interrupt.

- I'm here under duress.
- Thanks a lot.

- Stop moving! I'm trying to paint you.
- Well, paint.

It's very routine, not that important...

Well, me and champagne are not routine.

If you're interested in Mr Kingston,
what time he got here, I don't know.

There was something about his watch
but I'm not sure.

Might help if you try to remember.

Oh, yeah. Well...

Er... There was something wrong
with his watch.

Yeah, that's it,
and he asked me what time it was.

- That's it.
- That's it. I see.

- Well, thanks. Sorry to bother you.
- No bother.

- I'm in my commercial phase right now.
- Sam's just mad at the whole world.

Because I made him
put her in his pretty pink cactus.

- He thinks the artist should decide...
- (Man) Mitilda, you looking for me?

Oh, imagine.

Well, listen, I'll let you finish. Excuse me.

- Do come back soon.
- (Sam) Stop moving!

All right.

Hey, Joe, didn't I hear
you parked Kingston's car last night?

I remember.
The guy who gave me two bucks.

Two bucks?
Just for parking a car?

No. He lost a cuff link.
I helped him search, trunk and everything.

- Did you find it?
- No. Why?

Most people's trunks, they're kind of messy.

His wasn't. Just a spare tyre
and a topcoat, nothing else in the car.

What time was that, would you know?

Oh, sure, cos he asked me.
Something was wrong with his watch.

- It was five minutes to 11, sir.
- Thanks. All right, that's it.

Now, what is this all about?

Because Dale's uncle was murdered
sometime last night, right?

Oh, no. Oh, no.

When I think what this is gonna do
to the art world.

Can you imagine an art critic inheriting
that gorgeous collection?

Hey. Hey, would you look at that?

A blue horse?

'...painting the ladies and gentlemen
of the Spanish court with a savage brush.'

'Relentlessly, unremittingly
showing them in every detail,'

'down to the tiniest wart.'

'But when you take the W off of wart,'

'you are still left with art
and Goya was the penultimate artist.'

'We will continue our discussion
of this fascinating artist tomorrow.'

'Copies of today's lecture may be
obtained for a nominal fee'

'by writing to this station.'

'This is Dale Kingston. Good afternoon.'

(Man) 'Be with us again tomorrow'

'when Channel 16 brings you
Dale Kingston's World Of Art.'

(Phone)

Studio 2. Yeah, we just broke. I'll call him.

- Telephone call, Mr Kingston.
- Thank you, Phil.

Phil, listen. While I've got you,
can we get... Is that on?

Can't you cut that camera off me
the minute I finish talking, please?

I'm always left with egg on my face.
Thank you.

- Yes.
- Dale, I finally got you.

- I remembered you'd be doing your show.
- What are you doing calling?

- I told you not to call for a week.
- But I was worried.

That's just free-floating anxiety, dear.
Now, relax. Everything's going just...

I'm terribly sorry.
No, I simply don't have time.

Well, Lieutenant.

Gee, I wish you wouldn't hang up.
Somebody you don't know calls...

I get a dozen calls a day
just like that from would-be artists,

from ladies who want to evaluate some
stupid little print their aunts left them...

You mean, that was a woman?

Yes, and it wasn't any ransom call.

Now, I have a museum to go to,
then a dinner, then a lecture.

I was hoping we'd have a little time to talk.

We can get together later if you like.

I've gotta take my make-up off, anyway.
May as well do it now.

Fine, thank you very much. Er...

- So this is a television studio?
- Yes.

- Quite a place.
- A barn, really.

- Not as glamorous as you expected, I bet.
- It isn't.

But things aren't really
what they seem to be, are they?

My, how observant you are.

Hildy, my beauty,
how fast can we get this paint off me?

I'll use high-speed turpentine.

Anyway, I'm sorry to bother you here,
but you haven't been home much.

That's too bad.
That tap on your phone isn't helping us any.

I'm not your only possibility.

Maybe you don't know
my uncle was married once.

His ex-wife is still listed in the phone book
under her married name,

so the thief could very well
be trying to contact her.

I saw Mrs Mathews this morning.
We're watching her phone too.

Oh, that must have been some interview.

- Aunt Edna can be trying.
- I thought she was nice.

Oh, she's very nice, but trying.

Well, you said you had
some questions you wanted to ask me?

Nothing important, just a few details.

- Like that back door. That bothers me.
- What about it?

- Does that coffee machine work?
- Yes, of course. What about it?

The lab says there was just no way
for that lock to be forced from the outside.

Thank you, Hildy. So?

- Would you like a coffee?
- No, thanks.

Well, how did anyone get in?

Evans is positive that all the doors were
locked when he left the house earlier.

And I don't see your uncle letting anyone in
unless he knew 'em.

Did you come all this way
just to tell me that?

Well, I thought you'd be interested.
I did clear up one routine thing.

You know that gallery you went to?
Checked out. Hope you don't mind.

Well, that's your job. And?

The parking lot boy,
he remembered when you got there.

So if Mr Mathews was killed at 11,
then you sure didn't do it.

Now, isn't that a shame, Lieutenant?

And here I am, your best
and most obvious suspect too.

Aw, don't say things like that.
You've got me all wrong.

Oh, yeah.

It's just that I get bugged
by those little things.

Like, no connection,

but why would a person look in the trunk
of a car for a missing cuff link?

Because I happened to toss my topcoat
in there to keep it from getting stolen.

- Then I noticed the link was missing.
- Of course.

See, I could've guessed that.

A little while later I found the link
caught in the lining of my sleeve.

I'm gonna tell you somethin'.

There's a reasonable explanation for
everything if you just put your mind to it.

Of course, sometimes these things pop up.

Like with alibis.

Do you know, in most cases, people,
they don't remember what time it is?

They forget all that. Like the artist fella.

He's all mixed up about the time.

Mrs Mathews, she don't even remember
what time she went to bed.

Well, being sober might help, I suppose.

Now, with you, Mr Kingston,
it's just the opposite. Very unusual.

With you, we know exactly
where you were and when.

Not only that,
we know your whole car was empty.

Yes. Isn't that nice?

Well, if you'll excuse me.

Oh, by the way, can I show you something?
lt'll only take a second.

- You can rent paintings, did you know?
- Yes.

My father-in-law loves Westerns
so I figured a few bucks, you can't get hurt.

What do you think? Any good?

For wallpaper in a child's room,
absolutely perfect.

In fact, it looks like it might've been
done by an untalented 12-year-old.

I was afraid you were going
to say something like that.

But you know, then I say,
why would you bother to go last night

if this guy's stuff is so bad?

This is the artist
whose exhibit you were covering.

Lieutenant Columbo, unlike my uncle,
I am not independently wealthy.

I have to work for a living.
Magazines pay me to review art.

Unfortunately, they pay me best

when I write hostile reviews
about hacks like Sam Franklin.

Oh. Well, I'll tell you, I'd sure hate
to see his review when you write it.

- Mm.
- Oh, listen. One more thing.

It'll just take a second.
I stopped by your apartment a few times.

Why, do you want to search my place?

No. Just to ask you something about art.

You said you had some books I could see.

You may look at anything you wish.

You can snoop in all of my closets,
peek under the beds.

- You won't find any stolen paintings.
- I've never said...

Would you like the key to my apartment?
You may leave it under the mat.

- No, really. I...
- No, no, go ahead. I insist.

Find out what kind of human being I am.
Learn everything you can about me.

Well, I admit it would be more convenient

but thank you very much, Mr Kingston.

I'm sorry I took up so much of your time.

I might drop by
and borrow a few books or something.

See ya.

Dale!

- You all right?
- Yeah. I'm sorry I called you.

I had to know what was happening.

Nothing's happening. No problems at all.
Everything's just perfect.

Now, the gun and the paintings,
they're still in your car, right?

I did as you said. I haven't touched a thing.

Good. You'll feel a lot better
once you get those off your hands.

Hold that open for me.

- Dale!
- What's the matter?

Well, I never saw them before.
They're beautiful.

Now, why can't I paint like that?

Patience, my dear. Patience.

I told you you had talent
when you first came to see me, remember?

It takes time to get what you really want.

Sometimes I think my talent
isn't what you like best about me.

Well, it's a combination of things, my love.

Dale...

you do care for me, don't you?

After the risks you've taken for me?

Of course I do.

- Let's get out of here.
- Anything else you want me to do?

Not a thing.
I'll be in touch with you by phone.

- When will I see you again?
- Very shortly, my love.

When will I...?

(Tyres squealing)

Columbo.

Mr Kingston.

What are you doing here
at this hour of the night?

- Is it night?
- Yes, it is.

Gee, I... I must've fallen asleep here.

I came in to read these books...
Did you get your key? I left it under the mat.

Oh, good. You got it.

Gee. Yes, I...

I was reading these art books.
I must've fallen...

- (Tuts)
- Oh, I'm terribly sorry. I just fell asleep.

It's quite late, Lieutenant. If you don't mind,
I've just had a tiresome evening at a lecture

then saw some even more tiresome people
from the museum.

- So if you'll excuse me.
- I'll get out of your hair. I'm awfully sorry.

Did you pick up something interesting?

No, just some insipid watercolours
that these people want me to evaluate.

- Watercolours?
- Yes.

I was just looking at watercolours.
Matisse? Wonderful.

I'd love to hear your opinion.

- Could we take a moment...?
- No, Lieutenant, please!

- If you don't mind, I...
- Oh.

It's quite late. Some other time, please.

- I'm sorry. I should've realised.
- (Phone)

- I just got so caught up...
- My phone.

- Your phone?
- My phone.

It just might be
the people about the ransom.

Oh. By all means.

Hello? Yes.

Yes, he is. Just a moment. It's for you.

I told 'em at the office I might stop by.

- Thank you very much.
- It's all right.

Yeah? What?

Well, where was it?

Yes, I understand,
but why are you calling me?

Oh. OK, I'll be right down. Mm.

Listen, I'm sorry, I gotta run.
Gee, it's always somethin'.

This highway patrolman,
he found a girl in a car.

Ran over a cliff to Malibu Canyon. Dead.

- You get all sorts of cases, don't you?
- Yeah, listen.

They won't let me live.
What are you gonna do?

I'm sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep here.
I hope I didn't trouble you.

- It's all right.
- Get some rest.

- Mrs Mathews.
- Oh, Lieutenant Columbo!

- How are you?
- I'm fine.

Mr Kingston and the attorney
said it was OK if I dropped by.

- I hope you don't mind.
- Oh, no! Of course not.

The more, the merrier.

But it does seem such a shame
to hear poor Rudy this way.

All those whereases.
It won't sound like him at all.

- Lawyers have a way...
- It's like an old movie,

with all the barristers, butlers
and discarded wives

all gathering in the library
to hear the will read.

- (Bell)
- Oh! We'd better go.

- Elevators never bothered me till recently.
- Really? I have a friend...

He wasn't always
a very nice man, you know.

Just business, business, business.
And then collecting. Oh!

Collecting like some old pack rat.

But how anyone could want to kill Rudy, I...

- Oh, hello, Dale.
- Edna, darling.

- How are you?
- Hello, Lieutenant.

What have you got there this time,
a pink rabbit?

This? No, but it is something
I wanted to show you.

- Oh, show me too.
- Edna, my dear.

- Frank.
- Dale. And Lieutenant Columbo.

We can begin now.
Mr and Mrs Evans are here.

- But the Lieutenant was going to show...
- He'll show me.

- We'll join you. Thank you, Frank.
- I hope you're feeling better, Edna.

What do you think?

- It's frightful.
- That's what I figured.

But I thought maybe you just might
recognise the style or the signature.

No. Who on earth is Tracy?

Do you remember the night
when I left your place in a hurry?

Oh, yes, that highway patrol thing.
An accident?

That's what it looked like. But I told them.

Whenever a case comes up that has
anything to do with art, you call me.

You mean it wasn't an accident?

Oh, yeah, it's an accident.
I mean, that's what it's listed as.

But the dead girl,
she was some kind of an art student.

And I thought maybe you knew
something about her.

Tracy O'Connor?

Lieutenant, there must be over 100,000
art students in Southern California.

I remember seeing one of those
lecture schedules in your apartment.

Two months ago, you gave several
lectures where this girl was enrolled.

- This is what she looks like.
- Be realistic.

You think I can remember everyone
who ever sat in on one of my lectures?

I've never seen that girl before. Why don't
you stop wasting everybody's time?

These are all minor details.

- Sit down, Dale, won't you?
- Thank you, Frank.

"For their devoted service to me
for the past ten..."

Er, Lieutenant, make yourself comfortable.

We've skimmed over the preliminaries.
We're now down to the salient points.

Proceed as you wish, counsellor.

"For their devoted service to me
for the past ten years,"

"I bequeath to Mr and Mrs Evans jointly
an annual payment of $2,000..."

- Oh!
- "...to be paid on the first day of each year"

"in which either one of them is
still surviving."

Such a kind man.

"Finally, to my primary heir of all
previous wills, to my nephew Dale Kingston,"

"whom I once supported through college"

"and who has had the full freedom
of my home and possessions ever since,"

"I bequeath the full bulk
and remainder of my estate"

"with this one single exception:"

"To Edna Mathews, the wife
whom I mistakenly divorced 15 years ago,"

- "I bequeath my entire art collection..."
- Oh!

"...including all of those paintings listed
in the so-called Mathews Collection."

- Mr Kingston! Oh, no!
- (Frank) If you please.

This will is properly signed and
witnessed as of the tenth of last month.

I think you all should take a look at these.

Dale, I'm sorry. I'm really sorry.

Oh, no. Don't be silly, Aunt Edna.

I'll now be able to criticise your collection
like I used to criticise his.

Thank you, Frank.

Lieutenant...

Mrs Mathews, this is just such a surprise.

We are happy. I know you'll be pleased.

- I wasn't prepared for that.
- Nope. Really is a shock.

File those, please.
I tried to talk Rudy out of it.

He always intended to leave
that collection to Dale. Then gave it to her.

That's why I thought you'd like to be here.

- Legally, I couldn't say anything...
- Sure. I understand.

That was a new will? Only last month?

Correct. He wrote most of it himself.

He promised to let me draw up
something more detailed later on but...

Boy, I can't figure it, I...

You'd think the nephew
would get the paintings.

I agree. I agree.

Mr Mathews had disagreements with Dale

but an art collection like that is big business.

To manage that requires
specialised skill, taste.

Why he'd simply leave the whole thing
to a poor, unstable creature like Edna...

- Those comments are hardly professional.
- One thing, though.

- Mr Kingston gets the rest of the estate.
- It's meaningless.

He rented that big house.
Rudy disposed of all his business interests.

There really isn't
any remaining estate to speak of.

Well, listen,
thanks for letting me come down.

- I gotta get back to work.
- Lieutenant?

- Your painting.
- Oh, thank you.

Lieutenant? My lighter.

- Oh. There you are.
- Mm-hm.

Miss Henderson, I'll make my calls now.

(Kingston) Looking for me, Lieutenant?

Oh. Yeah, I thought I'd kind of
catch you out in the parking lot.

Expected to find me there kicking
my tyres in frustration, I suppose?

- I thought there'd be disappointment.
- You are so transparent, Columbo.

You've had this thing figured out
right from the start.

Dale Kingston hired someone
to fake the theft and kill his uncle.

- Maybe even some poor little art student.
- Mr Kingston, I never said that...

Even though I had an airtight alibi
by total accident

at the time of the murder,
that didn't stop you.

Mr Kingston, really, I...

Well, at this point even a compulsively
suspicious bureaucrat like you

must have his doubts about my guilt.

Because you heard it up there.

You heard it in plain English.
I do not inherit. Edna does.

That's very true, Mr Kingston.
That's very true.

- Except...
- Except what?

Well, maybe you didn't know
that your uncle changed his will.

Oh, I was hoping you'd say that.

Because I've known for more than ten days
that I couldn't inherit any of that collection.

But since you won't believe me,
maybe you'll believe my uncle.

Go on. I'm sure somebody
in your department

is capable of verifying that signature.

Go on, read it.

He sent me that letter ten days ago,
telling me about the new will.

Look at the postmark.

- So you did know?
- Of course I knew.

Now, would you please do me a favour
and stop pestering me

and go on out and do what you
should've done in the first place, huh?

Find the real killer!

- (Woman) Lieutenant, I'm not a busybody.
- I never said that.

Yeah, well, some landlords like to pry into
the lives of their tenants, but not me.

My policy is live and let live.

Come on. What's bothering Walter?
He won't eat.

Maybe he's not hungry.
It's not that you're a busybody.

You live here and you see things.

- How can you live here and not see things?
- Such as?

Who goes out with who
and who's doing what.

This girl Tracy O'Connor,
who did she go out with?

- She dated?
- Of course she dated.

That was a terrible shame
about that accident.

- That was a very talented girl.
- Very.

You oughta know. You took her painting.

- A very gifted girl.
- Darn right.

- And it was a shame about the accident.
- Right.

- I hated to give up the painting.
- Why did you?

- I had to.
- What for?

- Well, that was evidence.
- Evidence for what?

I don't wanna get into that.
Walter, come here.

- Come here, boy.
- Don't... don't do that!

- Why not?
- He'll bite.

- Will he? Oh.
- It was an accident, wasn't it?

Listen, are you gonna tell me
about the men in her life or not?

All right, the men. Remember, I wasn't
particularly trying to find out about her

but I do remember one or two.

There was an actor fella.

There were a couple of those beach types.

- And a kid that played...
- You want the truth?

- Yeah.
- I'm interested in one guy in particular.

- Who?
- 40, well-dressed, distinguished.

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

Come to think of it, there was
one older gentleman she was seeing.

- Really? Can you describe him?
- Would a picture help?

A picture? Are you kidding?
You have a picture of this fella?

- It's around here. Probably in my album.
- Where did you get a photograph?

Well, I was taking some snapshots
of my nephew out at the pool.

Tracy and her friend were out there
so I took one of them too.

- It's in one of these.
- You're a lifesaver.

Well, let's see.

That's when my cousins were out here
from Milwaukee.

We stopped at one of those
roadside stands for date malts.

I got so sick but they're awful good.
You ever had one? Think you'd like 'em.

Cindy Lou. That's my cousin's kid.

She's named for me.
That's at Grauman's Chinese.

She's trying to fit her feet into the things
in the concrete. Awful cute.

I made her that dress.
Doesn't that look nice? It has smocking.

- Can you see...?
- Let's see.

Here's a whole bunch of us
that went out and had a picnic.

We had the best time, more laughs.
Look, isn't that cute?

- That's my Uncle Henry there.
- Oh.

- We must...
- Do you have any idea...?

- Isn't that a good one of a lion?
- Wonderful. Do you have any idea...?

Wait a minute. Here it is. Here you go.
There. Well, there he is.

That's the one. Any help?

No kidding?

- That's not him.
- Oh, I'm sorry.

(Man) You guys still guard this place?

(Second man) Just me.
I keep the tourists away.

Say, you know anything about aphids?

- Aphids?
- Yeah, they're destroying my roses.

My wife doesn't want me
to use any pesticides.

Hard spray from your garden hose
around 4 or 5pm.

The sun's still hot enough to dry...

and it won't burn your flowers.

Just water, huh?

- Thanks. I'll try it.
- OK.

Hey! Come here!

Look at this!

Your ex-husband lived right up there?

Yes, right up there on the hill.

Brooding down on me like Zeus.

When we were married,
I always liked this house.

As soon as we got divorced, I moved in.

But for years, Rudy and I couldn't have
been farther away from each other

if I'd bought a house on the moon.

- You sure you wouldn't like a drink?
- Oh, no, thank you. Are they real?

- Yes.
- May I?

- Help yourself.
- Thank you.

So, what changed all that?

How did you and Rudy
get to seeing one another again?

Well, we just bumped into each other
a couple of months ago.

And, well, we were older...

and he wasn't quite so stuffy any more.

And maybe I don't throw things,

like parties and handsome Italians
quite so much.

I know you're in a hurry to go shopping
but I wondered first if we could talk about...

But you want to know about that will thing.

Of course. I don't blame you.

Er, but don't misunderstand.

Rudy and I weren't starting
to sing September songs

or anything like that but...

Well, you see, years ago,
I used to think I was artistic

and I literally dragged him
into his first museum.

And that's how
his whole collection all began.

Because naturally, Rudy started sensing
a good investment area.

And some of the paintings I liked
weren't too bad.

I understood his nephew
picked out all his paintings.

Oh, yes, later on.

But Dale was just in college then.

That was just about the time when...

when I started misbehaving.

And then after our divorce, the collection
became an obsession with Rudy

and a whole career for Dale.

So since you were in at the beginning
he decided to leave you whole collection?

But he didn't want me to keep them.

- You don't think that, do you?
- Well...

Oh, dear. I guess
nobody's going to understand.

No. You see...

poor Rudy was finally tired of it, that's all.

All the greedy buying
and bidding and hoarding.

He finally... He finally agreed with me

that the people should own
those lovely things instead of just collectors.

He decided to give them all away -

to schools, museums...

Oh!

But oh dear, it takes so much time
to work that out,

to decide which places get which...

In the meantime,
he didn't want Dale to get his hands on it?

I don't like to say that.

I was just so happy that
Rudy was finally turning human.

(Doorbell)

Who on earth...?

Hello, Aunt Edna. May I come in?
How are you, dear?

I didn't think you had
even remembered where I live.

Of course I do.
Had a message from Lieutenant Colum...

Oh, there you are.
What's this all about?

- Is it about the gun?
- What?

Wait a minute.
What gun? What is all this?

I thought you'd be interested.

About a half hour ago a gardener
up on that hill there found a.38 revolver

and it's the same kind
as the one missing from your uncle's desk.

Er, may I use your phone?

Oh, yes, of course.

Isn't that silly? Right up above my house.

I've walked on that hill myself.

Ballistics.

Is this Charlie? Lieutenant Columbo.

Charlie, I sent that stuff over there
over a half-hour ago...

Oh. Thank you.

It's the murder gun, all right.

Oh, there's nothing to be upset about.

But I was just telling Dale,

I go up there myself
when I want a breath of air.

I walked over to see Rudy
the night before he was killed.

Don't say another word.
The lieutenant may get the wrong idea.

What?

Oh, but surely no one would think that I...

Threw that gun there?
Oh, no, Mrs Mathews. No, no.

No, I finally figured out what happened.

Whoever was in the house ran out
the back and just kept on going.

They were anxious
to get rid of your ex-husband's gun.

It could've been anybody.

- It could?
- Yes. Absolutely, it could.

You have nothing to worry about.
Now, did you wanna go shopping?

I was planning to meet some friends
but it can wait.

No, you go right ahead
and forget about all this.

Just do what my wife does -

when she hits a department store
she can forget anything,

even the fact
that I'm sitting outside waiting.

(Kingston) Have a good time, Edna. Bye.

- What are you trying to do to her?
- I'm sorry, I don't follow.

You know perfectly well
it was a woman that ran out that night.

- You said so yourself.
- Yeah, sure, but not her.

I hope you really mean that,
that you're not just playing a game with her.

- A game?
- Lulling her into a sense of false security.

Edna's a very vulnerable woman.

You've got me all wrong.
I wouldn't think of a thing like that.

- That lady wouldn't hurt a fly.
- (Man) Lieutenant?

Can you come around here for a minute?

You said not to bother you until she'd gone.

- What is it?
- We found something else.

She's got some trash cans back here.

"Rudy Mathews, 417 Pine View."

Looks like that wrapping paper
that was torn from the rest in his house -

we figured the thief used it.

Get that fingerprinted
and compare it with the other paper.

- Is there anything else?
- No, we've covered every inch.

Be careful with that.

- Now what?
- I don't know.

I know what you're thinking, Lieutenant.

The gun, and now this new evidence.

- Looks pretty bad for her.
- Yes, it does. Yes.

I'm still convinced Edna had
absolutely nothing to do with this.

You know, I think I agree with you.
Look at it this way.

If she's really guilty, she's not gonna put
that paper in a garbage can, is she?

She's probably gonna burn it
in the fireplace or somethin'.

Yes, exactly. That's the point.

And you know something else?
You're absolutely right about her.

She's a... What did you say before?

- Vulnerable.
- Yes. She's a vulnerable woman.

- If I press her too hard she may fall apart.
- Oh, yes.

I don't wanna make the same mistake
I made with you.

No, sir. What I'm gonna do is this.

I'm gonna sit on everything
until those stolen paintings show up.

I see.

That's the best way to handle it, right?

Yes, yes, of course.

I don't wanna go around pointing
my finger at anyone

until I have an airtight case.

- Right?
- Right.

Er, Lieutenant, your man said that you'd...

you'd covered every inch of the place,
did that include the inside?

She agreed but I didn't wanna bother her.

Don't you think you should?
I mean, for her protection.

When you don't find the paintings
you can cross her name off.

Neither of us thinks she's guilty
so why bother?

For her sake, so she can be certain.
Search the house, Lieutenant.

No, really, I think it's a waste of time.

But if anything new comes up,
I'll let you know.

Edna? She's utterly harmless.

Exactly. That's why we've got to help her.

But could she be arrested?
The lieutenant doesn't think she's guilty.

But who knows what he'll think tomorrow?

In case you haven't noticed,
he is a very haphazard individual.

- Hm. If he doesn't break the case soon?
- Exactly.

He starts looking for a scapegoat
because the pressure's building

and Edna's the most obvious candidate.

Well, what should we do?

Protect her. Rudy would've wanted us
to look out for her interests.

She trusts you, Frank.

Get her here. Talk to her like a Dutch uncle.
Fill her in on the situation.

You're sure we should
allow her house to be searched?

Absolutely. You ought
to recommend we insist on it.

That way, we get it on the record that
nothing's been found to incriminate her.

All right. Miss Henderson,
get me Mrs Mathews.

Oh, she's shopping at
the Fashion Center in Beverly Hills.

You can bring her in here right now
and clarify this whole thing.

Miss Henderson, have her paged at
the Fashion Center. We'll clear it up today.

Well, there may be one small hitch to that.

Columbo refuses to search the house.

- He claims it'd be a waste of time.
- Oh?

Which merely perpetuates Edna's anxiety.

I wish there was something
we could do about that man, Frank.

Well, perhaps
there's some way around him.

You really think so?

I have a few friends at City Hall.
Let me look into it.

Fine. Thank you.

I'll just run one errand and I'll be right back.

Fine. Fine. Miss Henderson,

after I talk to Mrs Mathews,
I want the police department.

Dale?

Edna does have an excellent motive.

You don't think there's any chance...?

Of course not.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself.

Yeah. Sorry.

I just don't understand any of this.

It's just a precautionary measure,
nothing more.

But what do you want them
to search my house for?

- What will they find?
- Absolutely nothing. That's the point.

Come on.

- Frank...
- Mm-hm.

- Where do you want me to put these?
- Oh, in there.

Anywhere. Oh, I need a drink.

Of course you do, darling.
So do I. Let me fix it for you.

Here are your keys.

- Still scotch?
- Yes.

- How about you, Frank?
- Yes, on the rocks, please.

I'm sorry we have to put you
through this now.

But believe me, it'll all be over soon.

Why would anyone think
that I'd want to kill Rudy?

Nobody does. We just wanna make sure
that it stays that way.

That's why Frank is having the police
search the house.

Believe me, it's all for the best.

Dale, I don't even remember

what happened the night Rudy was killed.

- I take sleeping pills sometimes.
- That's one thing you should...

- Ah!
- Oh.

Oh! Excuse me.
Let me just dry off. I'll be right back.

Oh.

(Edna) Oh, isn't that a shame? Oh, Frank...

(Doorbell)

Frank, must we go through this?

Edna, you will be so much better off...

- (Doorbell)
- Come on. Come on.

Nothing to be nervous about, now.
Go ahead.

Mrs Mathews?
Captain Wyler, police department.

- (Edna) Yes. Please, come in.
- Thank you.

- Sorry, you can't go in there.
- I'm a lieutenant, so do you mind?

It's OK, Ferguson. Let him in.

- Hi, Captain.
- Columbo.

- Oh, hi, Mr Kingston.
- Hello, Lieutenant.

Listen, word came down from above
to have the place searched.

- Is that so?
- Yeah. And I can't understand why.

The fact is I was kind of bypassed
when they came over here.

Apparently you're just not needed.
Why don't you just go home for dinner?

Oh, no, I'd better hang around
because if I leave now, it looks bad upstairs.

- Oh, hello, Mrs Mathews. Mr Simpson.
- Hi.

Gee, I hope this is not
upsetting you too much.

Well, I'm not very happy
about my house being torn apart.

- But they advised me to do it.
- They? Who is they?

Mr Kingston and I thought it was necessary.

Oh, I see. Oh.

It's really very confusing.

You said you didn't suspect me
of anything, didn't you?

Yes, I did, ma'am, and I meant that.

- And, actually, I was opposed to...
- Captain Wyler.

Clear this table.

Where'd you find those?

Linen closet in the hallway.

Edna, how could you?

Oh, Dale, believe me...

I have no idea how they got there!

- Don't say another word.
- But...

Edna, he's right. Do you intend
to charge her formally, Captain?

It's up to the lieutenant. It's his case.

- His case? I thought it was...
- We know what you thought, Mr Kingston.

- Lieutenant?
- We can get started with the fingerprinting.

Let's get the kit.

Careful, there. Be very careful.

Gee, they're something, aren't they?
Pastels, you know.

- May I ask what this is all about?
- Both of 'em.

- Lieutenant?
- Oh, Mr Kingston.

Yes, just give us a moment, please.
Do you mind?

- We're getting a few.
- Good.

I'd like an answer, if you don't mind.

Er, well, I'd have to start
with your uncle's will.

What about it?

He pulled the rug out from under you
when he left his collection to Mrs Mathews.

So you only had one thing you could do -
murder him and blame it on her.

I hope you realise the full import of what
you're saying. There are witnesses here.

Anyone who criminally causes someone's
death can't inherit from that person.

- Is that right, Mr Simpson?
- That's correct.

So if Mrs Mathews is convicted,
you're next in line.

Everything goes to you.
That's why you planted the gun,

and why you planted the wrapping paper
and these paintings.

(Edna) Dale! I can't believe it!

But you'd like to, wouldn't you?
Get you right off the hook.

All right, Lieutenant.
You claim I planted these paintings?

Suppose you prove it.

- Can we?
- Yeah.

Yeah, with fingerprints.

Sorry to disappoint you.
Fingerprints won't help you at all.

My fingerprints are all over those paintings.

My uncle and I unwrapped them
after the exhibit. I told you myself.

- They're covered with my prints.
- We're not looking for your prints.

What?

Remember in your apartment
when you came in with some paintings?

And you said that they were
watercolours to evaluate?

Remember I wanted to see 'em
and you wouldn't let me

and I even touched 'em?

You touched them?

Yes, my fingerprints are on those paintings.

Now, if Mrs Mathews is guilty,

how could my fingerprints
get on paintings that she stole?

Er... This is entrapment.

It's a setup, that's all.

You... you... you... touched those paintings
just now while I wasn't looking.

You saw him do it, right?

You put your prints on those paintings
while they were working.

He touched them! You touched... You...