Original subtitles

Another lead gone cold.

Yeah, well I somehow feel like we're getting closer.

Me too, mate, it's been lovely.

I meant, closer to cracking it.

Yes, totally.

And then there's DIs Gilbert and Ryle.

Do you know what? I think those two are involved.

In my shooting, Operation Blue Finch, everything.

What makes you think that?

Is it because I've just put that picture up of the two of them?

- To be honest, it is mainly, ... - Think about it!

We find the jeep, and they turn up.

We find Kristof dead, and they pop up before we've even called it in.

Yeah, and then they try and blame it on us!

I say, we take this to Dennett.

Walk in there, lay our balls on the table.

For one thing, the phrase is, "cards on the table"

and for another, Dennett's told us to drop this.

And we still don't know who we can trust.

OK then, you really should be

keeping this door locked.

Parfit, how did you find us?

You guys need to realise, I know everything about Major.

I know where he goes, what he does ...

Have you put some kind of

tracking microchip in my head? - A microchip? No.

- You're paranoid, mate. - It's more of a nano-transmitter.

Who still says �microchip�?

See. I've got your location, heart rate, metabolism.

This is bullshit!

I've definitely hit ten thousand steps today.

That's unethical.

So is pursuing a secret murder case, so,

if you'd like me to keep quiet, perhaps you -

would like to do some official work now? Let's go.

"Lay your balls on the table" is a snooker expression.

It's not one I've ever heard, mate.

"Personal protection detail." Who are we bodyguarding?

Former Police Commissioner Chalmers

has had a number of recent death threats.

She's head of the AI Ethics Committee.

She decides whether or not Major gets switched off.

Exactly why she requested you both.

To watch you in action.

Genius! She'll see I'm shit-hot, and I'll be saved.

She'll see how shit you are, and pull the plug.

Well, I've updated his software, so he shouldn't be shit.

Look, with all due respect,

your software updates are part of the problem.

Well, this is all very reassuring, I must say.

Shit!

Oh, I see! You thought this was a picture.

Should've said.

Let's hope you demonstrate better observation in the field, DI Carter.

Yes ma'am. Sorry ma'am.

DI Major's actually really very good at his job.

We won't detain you any longer, ma'am.

Was she always that arse-y when you worked with her?

You only turned the picture off. I can still hear you.

You're a pompous arsehole, ma'am.

No, she's gone. Right. Itinerary's in the file, boys. Get to work.

- Guv. - Oh, and Carver?

Your transfer's come through; Edinburgh division.

You requested a transfer, shortly after John came back?

- I assumed it'd been rejected, boss. - Nope.

We'll be sorry to lose you, Roy, but I understand your reasons.

I feel the time's come to seek new challenges.

I assumed it was because you were sleeping with Major�s wife.

- Eh? - It's just something I noticed,

when I was going through your emails. - What?

Must be difficult for you. Major dies, you shack up with Kelly,

Major comes back. You're in a bloody weird situation.

- Yeah, I am. - How did John take the news?

- What? About Kelly? - Oh God, no, no.

Nobody's going to mention that.

We're a tactful bunch. Aren't we, Dr. Parfit?

I actually didn�t know about it.

Really? Where have you been hiding?

No. I meant, how did John take the news about your transfer?

I haven't exactly mentioned it.

- No problem. I'll tell him for you. - No! You're all right, ma'am.

I'll take care of it. Thanks, boss. Thanks.

What the hell were you thinking?

We were both grieving. We turned to each other for comfort.

Not the wife thing! Edinburgh!

You know you can't go, right?

Because if the AI project gets closed ...

The "AI project" HAS got a name.

Oh yeah, I forgot! We're talking about your best buddy.

That's the guy you're abandoning.

That is the guy who will be switched off,

without YOU to help him out.

I didn't know that when I applied!

OK, well now do you know. So go back and tell Dennet

that you are staying.

Like you give a shit about John!

You only want him to feed your ego, so you can use him for your TED Talk.

Well, at least I care about it!

... Him.

Let's see how this bodyguard thing works out,

and if he impresses Chalmers, then...

then he'll be safe.

And if he screws up with her?

Well then we can�t save him either way.

And it's not a TED Talk!

It is a SERIES of podcasts!

Target secure. Commencing security sweep.

You certainly know how to sweep a girl off her feet!

'Morning ma'am. I'm DI Carver. We've

been sent to escort you to your meeting...

Excuse me, ma'am! John, John, tone it down a bit!

Just doing my job.

What are you talking into your sleeve for?

- I don't know. - Stop it!

[speaking into sleeve] Sorry.

Can you think of anyone who may have a grudge against you, ma'am?

Shit!

I was a police officer for three decades.

The jails are full of miscreants with grudges against me.

You banged up some nasty characters when I was on your team, ma'am..

So did you. We banged away hard into the night, didn't we, John.

And what about the officers that served under you?

Any grievances there?

I don't know. Were you satisfied, John?

When you were under me?

Thoroughly satisfied, ma'am.

May I take a look at the threatening emails, ma'am?

Oh, be my guest.

"You'll get what's coming to you, you evil snake ... "

That's a bit harsh, Roy, she's only doing her job.

- I was reading an email. - Right you are.

You should definitely take some sensible precautions, ma'am.

To be fair, that one's not a threat, it's just good advice.

- Yeah, that was me talking that time. - Got you.

"Vengeance is mine. I will destroy you ..."

Jesus, Roy!

Oh, I get it.

Do you know what would be helpful?

When you're reading out a threat,

do it in, like, a bad-guy voice, like erm:

"You think your shit doesn't stink, Chalmers?

Well let me tell you, it does.

It stinks as bad as your guts is gonna stink, when I tears you to bits

and smears you all over a pelican crossing.

Well, I see you've lost none of your passion, John.

I feel safer already!

- What was that? - Ray Winston.

Excuse me, ma'am. Let me get the door for you.

Thank you.

- Go! - Will you pack it in?

Look, John, listen mate, I need to tell you something.

You're leaving the unit.

You applied for the transfer just after I came back.

- I should have told you myself. - Yeah, you should.

But it's okay. I get it.

I know why you wanna leave.

I'm not blind, mate.

- Because I'm over-shadowing you. - What?

We've always been equals. And now, here I am, back from the dead,

new and improved, getting all the glory.

I'd feel the same if you were the supercop,

and I was the inadequate, feeble, ordinary one.

Yeah, that's it mate. Yeah, you got it in one.

But that's no reason to leave me, Roy.

Uh, sorry to interrupt, gentlemen.

You just drove past my meeting two minutes ago.

I didn�t want to worry you, ma'am, but we've got company.

Blue Renault. Hotel, November ...

What do you use for six?

- Just six! - Six.

That's my secretary.

He doesn�t know where to go, so he's following us.

Any chance he's carrying a grudge?

He's carrying my lunch, I know that much.

Don't you worry, ma'am, I'll shake him off.

No. Don't need to shake him off ...

Your safety is my paramount concern.

Now. Let's see how fast this puppy can go!

- Oh, Jesus! - Hold onto your pants, ma'am.

Oh, fuck!

In your face!

Think I lost the "secutary".

You definitely lost us! Sorry you missed your meeting, ma'am.

Who cares about meetings? I much prefer riding around with you, John.

DI Major's normally very professional, ma'am.

Let's acknowledge the elephant in the car, shall we?

I'm the Chair of the committee deciding on your future.

Let me assure you, there is no cause for concern.

You're not switching me off?

I've been fighting your corner hard, John.

You'd have to do something pretty spectacularly awful

to be decommissioned now. - Like what?

Let's not give any suggestions, shall we, ma'am?

That's great news, that, mate.

Yeah. Now you can abandon me with a clear conscience.

Don't be like that. This is the goal we've been working towards.

ONE of the goals. We still don�t know who shot me.

- We're making progress. - I still can't stop thinking

about Kelly seeing that other man.

While you were dead!

And it's over! She told you.

Kelly and that other fella were just,

two damaged people,

clinging to each other in the wreckage of their lives.

- She never said that! - I'm paraphrasing!

Talk to her for me. Find out how she feels about me.

- What? YOU talk to her! - She won't be honest with me,

in case it hurts my feelings. I mean, with you, feelings aren't a problem.

Fuckin' hell!

Kelly's got a soft spot for you, Roy.

Please.

One last favour before you leave me.

Fine. Alright, whatever.

Good lad. Where to next, ma'am?

I don�t know, John, surprise me.

Who fancies Chessington World of Adventures ?!

Where the hell have you been?

You guys took a forty-mile detour,

on a three-mile journey.

- Don�t worry about it. - "Don't worry"?

No, he's right. It's weird as fuck, but Chalmers seems really into him.

What do you mean "into him"?

I don't want to think about the details.

- Oh, eugh ... - Ah, DI Major.

- Your wife's here for you. - Not for me, boss! For Roy.

Oh! I see!

So that's all out in the open now, is it?

No, boss, no.

Is it one of those polyamory things,

because I once saw a Louis Theroux documentary ...

No, no, it's just a friendly chat, that's all.

Very mature of you all.

- What's "polyamory"? - Don't know.

- Well, look it up on your phone ... - No, I'd best go see Kelly.

- Judy? - No, I'm just not ...

Any chance you could arrange a card and a whip-round for DI Carver?

- Yeah, of course, but I have to ... - 'Afternoon, Robocop.

Heard you're working for Chalmers now. Is it, oh what's the word?

Personal Protection Officer.

Sat Nav. That's it.

- 'Cause you're a computer. - Know what? Can I just ...

Not now, Judy. What have you got on the murder?

- Kristoff, the body in the flat. - You mean, the body covered

in your fingerprints? That body?

We might want to talk to you, DI Major. Don't go far from your desk.

"In twenty yards, the destination is on your left. "

- Just like a Sat Nav would say. - Dicks.

We're not really pinning that murder on Major, are we?

- Why not? - Because we know he didn't do it.

There's no harm in making him feel nervous for a while, is there?

Anything that diverts suspicion away from us.

- Yeah, I suppose, yeah. - Yeah.

Every day, you come in here and you ask me to do things,

Judy, do this, Judy, do that.

And every time you do it, I tell you my name's not fucking Judy

and it doesn't make the slightest bit of difference.

You'll come back in the following day,

and you'll do exactly the same thing...

I mean, I know it's not the most important thing in the world,

but I have got a name, and it's not Judy ...

Fuck me! It all makes sense!

- Finally! - See you later, Judy. Roy!

I'm gonna kill him.

So we've done a really good job of

staying away from each other, haven't we?

Yeah, John insisted. What could I say?

I've missed you more than I... more than I thought I would.

Er, have you?

- Not really. - Oh, okay.

I always knew how much I'd miss you.

I'm sorry it's been so messy.

I made a vow to John, " 'till death do us part"

which we then did, but only temporarily.

- I'm moving to Scotland, Kel. - What?

I think it's better. We all want a fresh start.

But what about John?

- I'm not taking John. - He's your partner.

John'll be fine. Chalmers told ...

No no no no, he won't be...

he won't be fine...He'll be lost.

Look, this isn't about John, for once.

Yeah, I care about him, but, you know, I'm leaving for me.

Because I can't bear to watch him with you.

The time we spent together ...

was the best six months of my life.

Why didn't you say - why didn't you say you felt so strongly?

Maybe I was about to, before your husband came back from the dead.

- What are you gonna do, Roy? - I told you, I'm leaving, Kel.

Are you?

- Roy! - Eh?

Roy! I can lip read!

She - what Kelly and I were saying, that ...

That there... - What?

No, not you ... Gilbert and Ryle.

- What? - It must be an AI thing,

I can watch people, and tell what they're saying.

You were right! They basically admitted being bent.

What a day!

First, Chalmers tells me that I'm safe,

then the lip reading thing,

All I need now is for you to tell me you're not going to Scotland.

- I'm not going to Scotland. - Yes!

Oh, mate,

Look, John, I can't be your partner anymore.

I don't understand.

Move it, boys, you're needed!

Commissioner Chalmers has received a new and credible threat.

Get over there. Now!

"The hour of reckoning is nigh."

Don't leave me, Roy.

Something about the way this is written ...

What?

I can't do this without you.

Yeah you can.

You're a supercop, remember? I'm the ordinary one.

Ah, my bodyguard.

Just what a woman wants in a tight corner.

- I'm shit without you around. - Let's talk about this later.

Let's face it. I'm shit WITH you around.

Sorry, am I interrupting something?

- No, ma'am. - I was saying how crap I am, ma'am.

No he wasn't.

Since I got back I've screwed up everything.

He's joking, ma'am.

I took illegal drugs, - Take no notice of him, ma'am.

and I dropped DI Carver off a car park... - He doesn't know what he's saying. - And that was my first day.

I've misappropriated police resources, pursued unofficial cases,

I went to the morgue and sawed a foot off a corpse,

I mean, how fucked up is that?!

Well.

I had no idea about any of this.

And do you know why not?

It's because Roy has stepped in to save me every time.

Not EVERY time.

Ready when you are, ma'am.

Stay between us if you would, ma'am.

The car's just up here on your left.

I was only trying to show how much you mean to me, Roy.

- You shouldn't have. - Don't be like that.

- Focus on the present threat. - There is no threat.

Killers don't say: "The hour of reckoning is nigh."

- The guy sounds more like a ... - What?

- What about the morals? "This rampant scientism

will invite a heavy reckoning..."

"The hour is... - "Reckoning..."

...nigh... something about the way this is written..."

Can you think of anyone who may have any grudges against you, ma'am?

AI Ethics committee... I fought in your corner, hard, John...

What?

Get down!

It's okay, ma'am! Stay down.

- What are you doing? - Sorry!

Cover Chalmers. Go!

Fuck a duck!

Oh!

It's all right, ma'am. DI Major will get him.

Yeah, unless DI Major's one of the targets.

Police! Drop your weapon, you're under arrest!

DI Major.

Or should that be, "AI" Major?

Drop the weapon!

I missed my shot at Chalmers.

But the Good Lord has delivered me

an even worthier target.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Genesis chapter ten, verse eight.

Cush became the father of Nimrod?

I don't know, mate. I'm just stalling for time.

Thanks Roy. I guess I was wrong.

Maybe you are a supercop after all.

Is that a statement?... Give us a hand, will you?

Give us your cuffs.

Others will arise in my place!

You have not heard the last of me ...

Thought he'd never shut up.

My hero. My saviour. My Major.

Not a bad team are we, ma'am?

Shame we won't be partners for much longer.

Well, that mightn't be the case.

Are we staying together?

We can't split up now, can we?

Not while people are trying to kill you.

Yeah!

That�s not why you changed your mind.

- Because of Kelly. - What?

She said something to convince you, didn't she!

I knew she would. That's why I asked you to talk to her.

I thought it was because you were worried about the other fella?

No, I'm not worried about him!

She's got me back now, ain't she!

The poor bastard don't stand a chance, does he?

Murder... Maybe even double murder, touch wood.

No, best not touch anything.

He stopped the head of the committee from getting shot!

How can they switch him off?

That'd make me a damn fool. Have you got any evidence for this?

That time you arrested a horse?

You can�t just nip home for a potato!

This... is a nice potato.

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