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1
00:00:16,039 --> 00:00:20,960
(noise from traffic)
(people chattering)
2
00:01:25,760 --> 00:01:27,480
(speaking Thai)
3
00:01:43,159 --> 00:01:44,840
Welcome.
4
00:01:45,920 --> 00:01:47,719
(speaking Thai)
5
00:01:47,879 --> 00:01:50,960
He says, welcome, sir,
it's so good to see you again.
6
00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,960
Thank you.
Are we on track to meet the deadline?
7
00:01:55,120 --> 00:01:57,960
(speaking Thai)
8
00:01:58,120 --> 00:02:00,560
Yes, Mr. Eppermint,
I can assure you...
9
00:02:00,719 --> 00:02:05,519
- Whoa, hang on! These are children.
- Yes, and you're an interpreter, right?
10
00:02:05,680 --> 00:02:08,039
- Yeah, but you can't do this.
- Listen...
11
00:02:08,199 --> 00:02:10,800
It's quite normal
for children to work in Thailand.
12
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:15,520
- Can't you see? This is not okay.
- If I don't do it, somebody else will.
13
00:02:15,680 --> 00:02:19,479
And if you don't interpret for me now,
someone else will get paid instead.
14
00:02:19,639 --> 00:02:23,360
How do you stand this heat?
Is there nothing to drink around here?
15
00:02:23,840 --> 00:02:26,319
(speaking Thai)
16
00:02:27,599 --> 00:02:29,680
(water being filled up)
17
00:02:45,920 --> 00:02:49,159
As you can see,
everything's under control.
18
00:02:49,319 --> 00:02:51,560
- Oh shit!
- What?
19
00:02:53,120 --> 00:02:57,240
What... My... my... my scarf!
20
00:03:05,919 --> 00:03:08,159
(yelling in Thai)
21
00:03:12,439 --> 00:03:15,280
- Mr. Chan, stop it!
- Sorry.
22
00:03:22,319 --> 00:03:24,400
No!
23
00:03:40,920 --> 00:03:44,520
I want no part in this, you hear me?
I'm done with it!
24
00:03:44,680 --> 00:03:48,800
- I expect to see you next month then.
- Eh... Thanks.
25
00:03:49,800 --> 00:03:53,759
- Okay then.
- Good boy. To the airport, please.
26
00:04:17,399 --> 00:04:19,680
(thunder outside)
27
00:05:48,800 --> 00:05:54,079
Do we have any real beer left, Ralph?
These Asian beers taste like bear piss.
28
00:05:54,240 --> 00:05:58,040
And I know that taste
from my days as a forest ranger.
29
00:05:58,199 --> 00:06:00,000
Ralph?
30
00:06:03,120 --> 00:06:07,600
Well, hello there! Who have we got here?
31
00:06:09,600 --> 00:06:12,439
A stowaway!
32
00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:20,120
I know someone who's going to love you.
33
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:25,839
Good morning, everybody.
A big welcome back to my channel.
34
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:30,560
Many of you have been asking: "Alex, can
you show us how you brush your teeth?"
35
00:06:30,720 --> 00:06:33,800
So, of course, let me show you.
I've got this toothbrush.
36
00:06:33,959 --> 00:06:38,519
I add some free sponsor toothpaste,
and then I brush.
37
00:06:38,680 --> 00:06:43,519
I start way at the back
and get into all the nooks and crannies.
38
00:06:43,680 --> 00:06:46,439
- Hey, Alexa.
- Get out, Sean.
39
00:06:46,600 --> 00:06:50,480
- Sorry, it's moving.
- Sean! Can't you wait?
40
00:06:50,639 --> 00:06:55,159
Your birthday is Saturday, right? But
I have an early gift for you in ten...
41
00:06:55,319 --> 00:07:00,000
- Nine, eight...
- What? Seriously?
42
00:07:00,160 --> 00:07:03,079
Six... Hallelujah!
43
00:07:05,680 --> 00:07:09,519
- Morning, Mom.
- Good morning!
44
00:07:09,680 --> 00:07:13,079
- Some breakfast, honey?
- Yes, please.
45
00:07:13,240 --> 00:07:16,120
- Do we have any?
- That's enough, you!
46
00:07:16,279 --> 00:07:19,439
- Oh, there you are.
- Morning, dear.
47
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,639
- Morning, Alex.
- Good morning, John.
48
00:07:23,800 --> 00:07:26,959
Sirena, I used your credit card.
49
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:30,360
John, I thought
we agreed on porridge on weekdays.
50
00:07:30,519 --> 00:07:35,879
It's hard on Sean. You know, getting
used to a new home and a new family.
51
00:07:36,040 --> 00:07:38,840
- Good morning, Sean.
- And new eating habits.
52
00:07:41,879 --> 00:07:45,480
- Alright, you can have one, too, Alex.
- Yes!
53
00:07:45,639 --> 00:07:49,759
Well, I only bought four,
but by all means have one.
54
00:07:52,680 --> 00:07:56,399
- You did wash your hands, right?
- Nah. There's no soap.
55
00:07:56,560 --> 00:08:00,839
- Yes, there is. In the starfish bowl.
- The slimy gray blob? Is that soap?
56
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:04,120
Yes, it's free of parabens
and animal fat.
57
00:08:04,279 --> 00:08:08,120
Don't you wash your hands either, John?
58
00:08:19,519 --> 00:08:21,480
A piece of pipe always comes in handy.
59
00:08:23,160 --> 00:08:25,519
- One, two, three, four.
- Not so fast!
60
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,600
Hey.
61
00:08:38,759 --> 00:08:42,039
- Hi, Gina.
- No, I'm Tina.
62
00:08:42,200 --> 00:08:45,039
- OMG, that sweater is super-cute.
- Super-cute.
63
00:08:45,200 --> 00:08:48,039
- Alex, my man!
- Hi, Odysseus.
64
00:08:48,200 --> 00:08:51,240
High five... Dab.
65
00:08:51,399 --> 00:08:55,720
- Are you tired?
- So tired! I can't sleep.
66
00:08:55,879 --> 00:08:57,919
Sean snores like crazy.
67
00:08:58,080 --> 00:09:01,600
Beat it.
You've got something on your glasses.
68
00:09:03,320 --> 00:09:06,519
Ha, loser!
Psych, man! Gum on his glasses!
69
00:09:06,679 --> 00:09:08,440
- Glenn, that dumbass.
- Come on.
70
00:09:11,279 --> 00:09:16,279
"Thailand is a holiday paradise,
where one can relax."
71
00:09:16,440 --> 00:09:19,200
Write "holiday paradise."
72
00:09:19,360 --> 00:09:22,519
"The Thais
are child-friendly and jolly."
73
00:09:22,679 --> 00:09:25,120
Write "child-friendly."
74
00:09:26,559 --> 00:09:30,799
"Prices are reasonable,
which makes for great shopping."
75
00:09:39,360 --> 00:09:43,480
Wish I was your sweater,
sat on your body so warm.
76
00:09:44,440 --> 00:09:49,600
Wrap myself around you
from the break of dawn.
77
00:09:49,759 --> 00:09:54,679
Filled by you and joy,
when you took me off again.
78
00:09:54,840 --> 00:09:58,879
The fragrance of you,
it would still remain.
79
00:10:00,279 --> 00:10:05,279
You are a princess,
I'm an imbecile.
80
00:10:05,440 --> 00:10:10,480
You're the very precious thing
that I don't have, but still...
81
00:10:10,639 --> 00:10:15,320
The number one thing in my life
of things that life could bring.
82
00:10:15,480 --> 00:10:19,080
Oh, Jessica.
83
00:10:19,240 --> 00:10:23,120
You captivating thing.
84
00:10:24,600 --> 00:10:27,159
Write "concentration."
85
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:30,679
"The Thais are good
with their hands and produce..."
86
00:10:30,840 --> 00:10:31,240
Hey!
87
00:10:33,600 --> 00:10:35,120
(school bell)
88
00:10:35,279 --> 00:10:38,960
Will you be going to the Children's
Climate Congress on Saturday?
89
00:10:39,120 --> 00:10:43,240
No, Perry, will you be coming to my
place to drink gasoline on Saturday?
90
00:10:43,399 --> 00:10:46,080
- I'm having my birthday party Saturday.
- Without us?
91
00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:50,360
It's just for the family. You wouldn't
want to be there. My mom's baking.
92
00:10:50,519 --> 00:10:55,159
- Yikes, I'd rather drink gasoline.
- My Uncle Stewart will be there.
93
00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,279
Stewart? Is he that old drunk?
94
00:10:57,440 --> 00:11:01,240
Yes sirs! It's shore leave time.
95
00:11:01,399 --> 00:11:05,639
- Alexius!
- Welcome home, Uncle.
96
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:10,600
- Ah, my lovely. Where's the douchebag?
- You behave now.
97
00:11:10,759 --> 00:11:12,559
(baby crying)
98
00:11:12,720 --> 00:11:16,039
Can you hold Baby Doris?
Mommy needs a smoke.
99
00:11:16,200 --> 00:11:19,039
- Hello, Terkel.
- Hello, Uncle Stewart.
100
00:11:19,200 --> 00:11:22,799
- Beatrice. Choca-licious!
- Hands off!
101
00:11:22,960 --> 00:11:26,679
- Hashtag MeToo. Hello, Leon.
- Why can't I play on my iPad?
102
00:11:26,840 --> 00:11:30,399
Hello, George.
And you're still growing, Shane.
103
00:11:30,559 --> 00:11:34,720
- Can you chew this, Gramma?
- Hi, Gramma. What have you got there?
104
00:11:34,879 --> 00:11:38,600
- She's having some toast.
- Phew, it sure is hot today.
105
00:11:38,759 --> 00:11:43,600
- I'm as dry as a desert.
- I've got organic ice tea.
106
00:11:43,759 --> 00:11:45,919
Let's consider that matter closed, then.
107
00:11:46,080 --> 00:11:49,519
- Well, I have a little gift for...
- Thank you.
108
00:11:49,679 --> 00:11:54,320
I've got one for you, too, Sean.
It's important to treat them the same.
109
00:11:55,519 --> 00:11:59,000
They're not the same, just look at them.
Size-wise, I mean!
110
00:11:59,159 --> 00:12:01,799
- A rocking flower?
- Do you remember those?
111
00:12:01,960 --> 00:12:03,399
No...
112
00:12:04,519 --> 00:12:07,559
Gramma,
let's dance the samba.
113
00:12:08,759 --> 00:12:10,559
Not bad, eh?
114
00:12:10,720 --> 00:12:15,320
- Whoa, Super Dario 3. Thanks, Dad.
- You're welcome, buddy.
115
00:12:15,480 --> 00:12:19,279
- Can I play now?
- No, stick to your iPad for now.
116
00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:21,159
A rocking flower!
117
00:12:21,320 --> 00:12:26,240
I brought a gift, too. For Alex.
Since it's his birthday today.
118
00:12:26,399 --> 00:12:29,440
- Thanks.
- Happy birthday, kiddo.
119
00:12:37,759 --> 00:12:43,080
- Wow, uh... it's a... What is it?
- Well, it's a...
120
00:12:43,240 --> 00:12:46,360
- Is it a ninja?
- Exactly!
121
00:12:46,519 --> 00:12:48,200
Ninjas aren't usually checkered.
122
00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:52,240
No, and boys your age
don't normally weigh 200 pounds.
123
00:12:52,399 --> 00:12:53,919
But seeing is believing.
124
00:12:54,080 --> 00:12:56,919
- Mom, look!
- Very nice.
125
00:12:57,080 --> 00:13:02,039
- Here, let me take Baby Doris.
- Is it a Harlequin?
126
00:13:02,200 --> 00:13:07,480
Good one, Terkel. Harlequins are jokers.
This is a checkered ninja, obviously.
127
00:13:07,639 --> 00:13:10,000
I've never heard of a checkered ninja.
128
00:13:10,159 --> 00:13:14,879
Exactly. That's what makes it so rare.
And pricey. It cost a fortune.
129
00:13:15,039 --> 00:13:20,320
Even just getting it out of Thailand
was sheer hell. 'Cause of the sword.
130
00:13:21,679 --> 00:13:26,200
Danny, my eldest, spent five years in
a Thai prison for an ounce of cocaine.
131
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,399
- An ounce?
- Yeah, just for personal use.
132
00:13:29,559 --> 00:13:32,039
Make a note of this
for future reference, Alex.
133
00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:36,279
A stint in a prison in Thailand
makes a man wish for his own death.
134
00:13:36,440 --> 00:13:40,039
- Okay.
- Speaking of death, what's in these?
135
00:13:40,200 --> 00:13:44,759
- It's my own recipe, wheat-free.
- You could have warned me! Yuck!
136
00:13:44,919 --> 00:13:48,960
So, Jeff. How's business for you?
Wasn't it something about nuts?
137
00:13:49,120 --> 00:13:54,519
- Chestnutfactory.com.
- Chestnutfactory?
138
00:13:54,679 --> 00:13:59,200
- But it didn't work out.
- You don't say!
139
00:13:59,360 --> 00:14:02,759
- I'm off to dump a few chestnuts, Jim.
- It's John!
140
00:14:02,919 --> 00:14:07,399
Come on, Stewart. I think it's great
that John doesn't just slouch all day.
141
00:14:07,559 --> 00:14:10,639
Right. And as long as you pay
for all his fruit-stewing schemes...
142
00:14:10,799 --> 00:14:13,000
Stewart!
143
00:14:17,200 --> 00:14:19,919
Right. Well, I was leaving anyway.
144
00:14:20,080 --> 00:14:24,120
Alex, my boy,
drop by the lake one of these days.
145
00:14:24,279 --> 00:14:27,559
Happy birthday again,
and as we used to say in Thailand:
146
00:14:31,360 --> 00:14:34,600
That's Thai for
"Super Dario 3 is for sissies!"
147
00:14:34,759 --> 00:14:36,919
See you later!
148
00:14:39,159 --> 00:14:43,320
- A checkered ninja?
- Yeah, it's very rare. From Thailand.
149
00:14:43,480 --> 00:14:47,919
- But Ninjas are black.
- They wore indigo blue on missions.
150
00:14:48,080 --> 00:14:50,720
- The ninjas were...
- Oh, man!
151
00:14:50,879 --> 00:14:54,559
Are you coming to my party?
Here's one for you, Benny.
152
00:14:54,720 --> 00:14:57,919
- It's this Saturday. Bring a friend.
- One friend each?
153
00:14:58,080 --> 00:15:01,240
- No, one between you, okay?
- Yeah, what did you think?
154
00:15:01,399 --> 00:15:04,159
OMG, are you like a total moron
or something?
155
00:15:05,240 --> 00:15:08,799
- Hey, wait, can't I take a look?
- Yeah, but I...
156
00:15:08,960 --> 00:15:14,279
Oh, it's Jessica!
Why don't you go talk to her?
157
00:15:14,440 --> 00:15:20,240
Shall I get her to come over? Jessica!
Alex wants to ask you something.
158
00:15:20,399 --> 00:15:22,679
- What?
- Alex wants to ask you about something.
159
00:15:22,840 --> 00:15:25,759
- No!
- What?
160
00:15:32,080 --> 00:15:36,320
Hi there, mole-face.
Did you see that? The kid's got no eyes.
161
00:15:37,440 --> 00:15:39,480
- Idiot!
- What did you say?
162
00:15:39,639 --> 00:15:40,679
What? Uh...
163
00:15:40,840 --> 00:15:45,759
- Gimme those.
- No, give them back, Glenn. Please!
164
00:15:45,919 --> 00:15:49,240
Come on, little mole.
I want to see a mole jump.
165
00:15:49,399 --> 00:15:52,799
Stop it, you fat idiot,
or I'll crush you!
166
00:15:54,960 --> 00:15:57,799
I'm not sure I heard what you just said.
167
00:16:05,559 --> 00:16:09,600
- What seems to be the problem?
- He's just being a... No problem.
168
00:16:09,759 --> 00:16:12,879
- Then piss off. You too. Move.
- Chill out.
169
00:16:13,039 --> 00:16:15,000
Stupid brats.
170
00:16:19,120 --> 00:16:21,720
- Thanks, Alex.
- I didn't say anything.
171
00:16:21,879 --> 00:16:27,120
- "Or I'll crush you." That was badass.
- But I didn't...
172
00:16:27,279 --> 00:16:29,600
Way to go, Alex.
173
00:16:30,840 --> 00:16:35,039
Right. I mean,
nobody messes with my friends.
174
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,559
Not on my watch.
175
00:16:41,919 --> 00:16:45,159
- See ya, Alex.
- Yeah. See ya.
176
00:16:50,960 --> 00:16:54,159
Hello? Say something.
177
00:16:54,320 --> 00:16:57,679
- Say something.
- What do you want me to say?
178
00:16:57,840 --> 00:17:01,480
- Hi, Glenn.
- So you're going to crush me?
179
00:17:01,639 --> 00:17:03,600
- And I'm a fat idiot?
- Yes...
180
00:17:03,759 --> 00:17:09,039
- I mean no. It wasn't me.
- Next time, I'll break your jaw.
181
00:17:09,200 --> 00:17:12,599
- No. I mean yes. I'm sorry.
- Got it?
182
00:17:12,759 --> 00:17:16,880
- 100%.
- Piss off, you chicken shit loser.
183
00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:29,119
Piss off, or I'll smash your shitty mug,
son of a butt-ugly oxygen thief!
184
00:17:29,279 --> 00:17:31,480
What?
185
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:35,839
I think you'd better be off now.
186
00:17:40,759 --> 00:17:44,240
- He's right behind you. Step on it!
- You can't talk.
187
00:17:44,400 --> 00:17:49,240
I'll decide that for myself, chicken
shit loser. Come on, Pizza Face. Faster!
188
00:17:49,400 --> 00:17:52,480
- No, stop it! I'm sorry!
- You're dead!
189
00:17:52,640 --> 00:17:55,480
- And you're ugly.
- No, you're not.
190
00:17:55,640 --> 00:17:57,599
Sure he is.
191
00:17:58,640 --> 00:18:03,039
- What the hell's going on?
- You'll be killed in a second.
192
00:18:03,200 --> 00:18:06,559
If you can't go any faster.
Unless you and I help each other out.
193
00:18:06,720 --> 00:18:10,960
- I help you, and you help me.
- But you're not even alive.
194
00:18:11,119 --> 00:18:13,240
Got you now!
195
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,960
- Okay, so don't you want my help?
- Yes I do! Help me.
196
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:23,920
- You have to help me in return.
- Okay!
197
00:18:24,079 --> 00:18:27,160
- Say you'll help me.
- Yes! Yes, I'll help you.
198
00:18:27,319 --> 00:18:30,160
- What are you doing?
- Just keep going.
199
00:18:39,920 --> 00:18:43,720
- That'll teach you, dumbass!
- You're dead!
200
00:18:44,759 --> 00:18:46,039
Dead meat!
201
00:19:03,039 --> 00:19:05,200
You've got food down here.
202
00:19:05,359 --> 00:19:08,160
- Want some?
- What the hell are you?
203
00:19:08,319 --> 00:19:12,559
Come on, not all that again.
If you call me Harlequin, I'll stab you!
204
00:19:14,440 --> 00:19:18,720
- Hi, Alexis.
- Sean! I'm busy right now.
205
00:19:18,880 --> 00:19:22,599
Why is your teddy bear
holding an egg sandwich?
206
00:19:22,759 --> 00:19:26,000
- He was hungry.
- I know the feeling.
207
00:19:26,160 --> 00:19:30,319
- Guess what I'm doing on Saturday.
- Dunno.
208
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:34,720
- I'm going to a party. At Jessica's.
- Oh...
209
00:19:34,880 --> 00:19:39,440
That's the same Jessica
that you've got the hots for.
210
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:44,079
- What a dumb thing to say.
- Is this a poem? "You're a Princess."
211
00:19:44,240 --> 00:19:48,839
- Don't! Give me that.
- Of course. When I get my book report.
212
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:53,319
- What are you talking about?
- It's due tomorrow. Lord of the Rings.
213
00:19:53,480 --> 00:19:55,799
You can handle that, right Alex?
214
00:19:55,960 --> 00:20:01,160
Oh, and Alex, make it a good one.
Otherwise this goes viral!
215
00:20:01,319 --> 00:20:03,279
Thank you, brother.
216
00:20:04,279 --> 00:20:08,079
- I just wish you were dead.
- Whoa. Brave words.
217
00:20:08,240 --> 00:20:14,400
You're such a coward! Yes, you're just
a kid, but so are Sean and Pizza Face.
218
00:20:14,559 --> 00:20:19,400
- Glenn! Do you know what you've done?
- Yes, I stopped him.
219
00:20:19,559 --> 00:20:22,119
- You're welcome.
- But he's gonna kill me!
220
00:20:22,279 --> 00:20:27,359
- Stop whining. As if you had problems.
- You don't think I have problems?
221
00:20:27,519 --> 00:20:32,480
- I'm talking to my stuffed animal.
- I'm not a stuffed animal. I'm a warrior!
222
00:20:32,640 --> 00:20:36,200
- And I can't take your drama seriously.
- Drama?
223
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:40,079
You can keep running from
your problems or start fighting back.
224
00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:43,880
- I can't fight.
- How do you know until you've tried?
225
00:20:44,039 --> 00:20:47,559
- I'll help you.
- But who are you even?
226
00:20:48,559 --> 00:20:51,000
I'm your new best friend.
227
00:20:51,160 --> 00:20:54,359
I've promised to help you,
and you've promised to help me.
228
00:20:54,519 --> 00:20:59,079
- How can I possibly help you?
- You can read, can't you?
229
00:20:59,240 --> 00:21:01,880
What, can't you?
230
00:21:02,039 --> 00:21:06,279
- I'm good at other things, alright?
- Yes. Of course.
231
00:21:06,440 --> 00:21:08,640
What does this say?
232
00:21:08,799 --> 00:21:12,920
It's a credit card.
It belongs to Phillip Eppermint.
233
00:21:13,079 --> 00:21:18,240
- So he's the man I'm looking for!
- Eppermint? Just like Jessica.
234
00:21:18,400 --> 00:21:21,359
- What do you mean?
- Jessica Eppermint.
235
00:21:21,519 --> 00:21:25,279
- That skirt you're crazy about?
- She's not a skirt.
236
00:21:25,440 --> 00:21:27,160
- What's her dad's first name?
- I don't know.
237
00:21:27,319 --> 00:21:29,359
Oh. Well, who does then?
238
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:35,440
- Mom?
- Hi, lovebug.
239
00:21:35,599 --> 00:21:37,759
- Mom, do you...
- I have my group tonight.
240
00:21:37,920 --> 00:21:43,039
John will be at home with you.
No sneaking out. I got you a smoothie.
241
00:21:43,200 --> 00:21:46,920
Awesome. But Mom, you know
that Sean's going to that party.
242
00:21:47,079 --> 00:21:51,680
- At Jessica's house?
- Yeah. Will her parents be home?
243
00:21:51,839 --> 00:21:56,279
Yes, they will be. I met Linda and...
at the supermarket.
244
00:21:56,440 --> 00:21:59,039
Both of them are going to be at home.
245
00:21:59,200 --> 00:22:03,200
- Hi, hon. How'd it go?
- They weren't interested.
246
00:22:04,279 --> 00:22:09,039
They couldn't see the difference between
an ordinary lunch box and Cracker Box.
247
00:22:10,079 --> 00:22:13,039
But just you wait, they'll be back.
248
00:22:13,200 --> 00:22:16,599
- So you met Linda and...
- Mm-hm.
249
00:22:16,759 --> 00:22:18,680
And who?
250
00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:23,880
- And...?
- And Jessica's dad will be there, too.
251
00:22:24,039 --> 00:22:27,400
Jessica's dad? Phillip? That jerk?
252
00:22:27,559 --> 00:22:32,519
He thinks he's as an expert on toys.
He spoiled my plans for Nixy-Dixy-Dolls.
253
00:22:32,680 --> 00:22:37,559
Jessica's dad.
Or father-in-law, right, Alex?
254
00:22:37,720 --> 00:22:43,079
- He's crazy about Jessica.
- Oo-hoo! Good luck with that, Alex.
255
00:22:43,240 --> 00:22:47,279
Ow! What the hell!
Move your crap, Alex.
256
00:22:48,519 --> 00:22:52,359
Now Sean, clean speech
makes for a clean heart.
257
00:22:52,519 --> 00:22:57,839
- I think Jessica is a sweet girl.
- Yes, but Alex is so...Alexy.
258
00:22:58,000 --> 00:23:01,640
Jessica is such
a cute little snacky pack.
259
00:23:05,759 --> 00:23:07,279
Right...
260
00:23:07,440 --> 00:23:10,960
"Snacky pack"? Not bad at all.
261
00:23:12,240 --> 00:23:14,640
- Wait.
- Jeesh, move your ass.
262
00:23:14,799 --> 00:23:19,400
- John doesn't want me to go out.
- Aw, I kind of feel bad for John now.
263
00:23:19,559 --> 00:23:22,039
- He's gonna freak out. Understand?
- Yes.
264
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:26,279
Duly noted in my book of things I don't
give a crap about. A fairly big volume.
265
00:23:27,119 --> 00:23:31,279
- Help me get close to Jessica's dad.
- Let's just give her the credit card.
266
00:23:31,440 --> 00:23:36,359
No, I have to give it to him personally.
It's a matter of honor.
267
00:23:37,720 --> 00:23:42,039
- Is this it?
- Yup. Odysseus and I built that.
268
00:23:44,000 --> 00:23:46,680
You're a born architect there...
269
00:23:48,359 --> 00:23:52,880
- Look at that. Yuck!
- Give it to me. We can use that.
270
00:23:53,039 --> 00:23:54,640
Use it? How?
271
00:23:54,799 --> 00:23:58,319
A ninja takes advantage
of everything that comes his way.
272
00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:00,839
- Always ready to improvise.
- So we don't have a plan.
273
00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,759
Of course we do.
We're going to Jessica's party.
274
00:24:03,920 --> 00:24:07,680
- But she only invites the cool kids.
- And Sean.
275
00:24:07,839 --> 00:24:11,119
- He's an 8th grader. That counts.
- And what about Glenn?
276
00:24:11,279 --> 00:24:16,200
- He's going to kill me.
- We'll need to put him in his place.
277
00:24:16,359 --> 00:24:20,039
Then Jessica will say:
"Alex, you're so cool."
278
00:24:20,200 --> 00:24:25,720
- Stop it. That's totally creepy.
- Yeah, but also kind of cool, right?
279
00:24:25,880 --> 00:24:29,480
- Okay, let's say I'm Glenn.
- You don't expect me to fight him?
280
00:24:29,640 --> 00:24:31,680
- So what's the problem?
- Because I can't!
281
00:24:31,839 --> 00:24:35,240
Do you know why you can't?
Because you think you can't.
282
00:24:35,400 --> 00:24:40,160
- He's also much bigger than me.
- You're bigger than me. Right now...
283
00:24:40,319 --> 00:24:41,920
But not now.
284
00:24:42,079 --> 00:24:46,319
- It's not fair to hit in the balls!
- That was the groin. Your turn.
285
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:51,640
- It's below the belt. That's cowardly.
- You're already a coward. Use it.
286
00:24:51,799 --> 00:24:56,200
Come on, kick me. Hard as you can.
Come on, you chicken shit loser!
287
00:25:00,480 --> 00:25:03,200
- Ow, that's not fair!
- You say that a lot.
288
00:25:03,359 --> 00:25:07,839
- Because it hurts like hell.
- Does the world need to hear about it?
289
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:10,400
Let's go again. Up.
290
00:25:13,279 --> 00:25:14,680
Up!
291
00:25:23,359 --> 00:25:25,359
See! You're learning.
292
00:25:25,519 --> 00:25:27,039
Ow!
293
00:25:27,200 --> 00:25:28,640
(groaning)
294
00:25:28,799 --> 00:25:32,119
- Okay, where are the tools?
- They lock that stuff away at night.
295
00:25:32,279 --> 00:25:34,440
We'll need to get
some tools tomorrow, then.
296
00:25:34,599 --> 00:25:38,960
- What are we gonna build?
- Later. You've got homework to do.
297
00:25:39,119 --> 00:25:45,039
- I don't have any homework.
- Oh yes. A book report for tomorrow.
298
00:25:45,200 --> 00:25:48,799
" The Lord of the Rings
is Tol-kine's famous tri-logy
299
00:25:48,960 --> 00:25:53,559
"about good versus evil."
Well done, Alex!
300
00:25:53,720 --> 00:25:58,279
- Now there's the matter of my notebook.
- You mean this one?
301
00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:00,920
Jerk!
302
00:26:01,079 --> 00:26:05,359
Alex! You went out last night.
You need to obey me.
303
00:26:05,519 --> 00:26:10,480
John, what in the world is this?
It was on your bedside table.
304
00:26:12,920 --> 00:26:15,400
"Grandma's juicy jugs"?
305
00:26:17,640 --> 00:26:19,359
Uhh...
306
00:26:20,200 --> 00:26:23,599
(hammering)
(soldering iron sizzles)
307
00:26:24,839 --> 00:26:27,160
(sound of hammer breaking wood)
308
00:26:29,680 --> 00:26:33,759
All right, I'll get the tools
while you distract the teacher.
309
00:26:33,920 --> 00:26:37,279
- What? How? What should I do?
- Just ask him to help you.
310
00:26:37,440 --> 00:26:41,839
With something tricky.
Couldn't you make a sheath for my sword?
311
00:26:42,000 --> 00:26:44,240
- I shouldn't be waving it around.
- What should it look like?
312
00:26:44,400 --> 00:26:48,559
It needs to fit the length of the sword.
And with strings to tie it on my back.
313
00:26:48,720 --> 00:26:52,519
And holes in both ends,
so I can use it as a snorkel.
314
00:26:52,680 --> 00:26:56,680
- And do you want diamonds on it, too?
- Do I look like a diva to you?
315
00:27:07,240 --> 00:27:09,799
Siberius, can you help me?
316
00:27:13,559 --> 00:27:17,880
Alex. What can I do for you?
317
00:27:18,039 --> 00:27:23,480
- Is it true that you can make anything?
- I've got good hands.
318
00:27:24,640 --> 00:27:28,960
- So they say.
- I need something to stick my sword in.
319
00:27:29,119 --> 00:27:33,400
- Uh, 'scuse me?
- For my sword. Preferably checkered.
320
00:27:33,559 --> 00:27:37,039
Not that I've seen a checkered one...
Black is too ordinary.
321
00:27:37,200 --> 00:27:41,920
Uh, so you want me
to help you make a...
322
00:27:43,839 --> 00:27:46,960
A thing to stick my sword in.
About so big.
323
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:51,960
I need to be able to breathe through it,
and tie it onto my back.
324
00:27:58,559 --> 00:28:01,559
- You didn't give me much time.
- I didn't know he'd freak out.
325
00:28:01,720 --> 00:28:05,319
- I guess we can't make weapons.
- Never mind. I got everything.
326
00:28:05,480 --> 00:28:09,880
So Gandalf filled his hat with shit
and pissed in Gollum's mouth.
327
00:28:10,039 --> 00:28:15,039
- Then vomited all over four orcs.
- Yeah, that was my interpretation.
328
00:28:16,039 --> 00:28:17,440
Stupid brats.
329
00:28:17,599 --> 00:28:21,960
- That was my interpretation, too.
- Just you wait until recess.
330
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:25,559
- I'm gonna give Jessica your poem.
- You mean this one?
331
00:28:25,720 --> 00:28:28,920
Moron. You think that was the only copy?
332
00:28:29,960 --> 00:28:32,359
- Gimme that!
- Ha ha ha!
333
00:28:33,640 --> 00:28:36,680
- Come on, man.
- Give it to me!
334
00:28:36,839 --> 00:28:40,640
Stop that right now!
Follow me, Sean.
335
00:28:44,640 --> 00:28:46,680
- My life sucks.
- You'll be fine.
336
00:28:46,839 --> 00:28:51,160
- You heard him! I'll be dead at recess.
- Dead? Gimme a break!
337
00:28:51,319 --> 00:28:54,559
- Super-embarrassing!
- So man up. Do something.
338
00:28:54,720 --> 00:29:01,119
Barry is so cool. He's too cool
for the school. Barry is so cool.
339
00:29:05,839 --> 00:29:09,440
One, two. One, two.
This is Barry with a message for you.
340
00:29:09,599 --> 00:29:13,440
It's for all of you
who signed up for music lessons.
341
00:29:13,599 --> 00:29:16,319
The small choir
will meet on Tuesdays from 1 to 3.
342
00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,359
Big band practice
on Thursdays from 2 to 3.
343
00:29:20,519 --> 00:29:26,400
Get with the program. Everyone has
a right to rhythm! That's all.
344
00:29:27,279 --> 00:29:29,559
Bunch of brats.
345
00:29:34,200 --> 00:29:37,440
Hello, hello.
This is an important message from Alex,
346
00:29:37,599 --> 00:29:43,359
to very special girl who needs to know
what a super-dishy babe she is.
347
00:29:43,519 --> 00:29:46,319
- Stop!
- I just want you to know.
348
00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:50,599
- No!
- And if you're wondering who Alex is?
349
00:29:50,759 --> 00:29:55,119
As you know, I'm a desperate little boy
350
00:29:55,279 --> 00:29:57,880
with a big mouth and a flat nose.
351
00:29:59,400 --> 00:30:01,400
Well, the girl in question is...
352
00:30:01,559 --> 00:30:04,000
Wow, you can almost hear
my heart pounding.
353
00:30:04,160 --> 00:30:08,119
- Jessica from 8th grade.
- This can't be happening.
354
00:30:08,279 --> 00:30:11,960
Yes, I'm crazy about you,
and I'm not ashamed.
355
00:30:12,119 --> 00:30:16,440
I want the entire school to know
that you're a first-class fox.
356
00:30:16,599 --> 00:30:19,559
That's all.
Sorry for the interruption!
357
00:30:24,799 --> 00:30:28,960
Okay, stop that right now!
That's an absolute no-no! All right?
358
00:30:29,119 --> 00:30:32,920
But very bravely done, I must say.
Good luck with it, Alex.
359
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:40,920
Woohoo!
Jessica! Way to go.
360
00:30:41,079 --> 00:30:44,400
- Jessica!
- Mwah. Your beloved!
361
00:30:45,680 --> 00:30:48,119
- You traitor.
- Oh, come on! I solved your problem.
362
00:30:48,279 --> 00:30:52,039
- Solved it?
- Hey, what's up, Casanova?
363
00:30:52,200 --> 00:30:57,119
You did the thing you feared the most.
And now the skirt knows your feelings.
364
00:30:57,279 --> 00:31:01,599
- Sean can wipe his ass with that copy.
- The whole school is laughing at me.
365
00:31:01,759 --> 00:31:05,079
Stand tall and let them laugh.
Let's go to the cafeteria.
366
00:31:05,240 --> 00:31:08,240
- But Glenn will be there.
- Exactly.
367
00:31:08,400 --> 00:31:11,720
(people chattering and laughing)
368
00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:18,119
- Climb up on that trashcan.
- What? Why...
369
00:31:18,279 --> 00:31:20,640
- Just do it.
- Okay...
370
00:31:20,799 --> 00:31:22,319
Hey there, lover boy.
371
00:31:23,480 --> 00:31:25,279
(wolf howls)
372
00:31:28,839 --> 00:31:33,640
Let me do the talking and you just
move your lips. Can you whistle? Do it.
373
00:31:33,799 --> 00:31:34,440
(whistles)
374
00:31:34,599 --> 00:31:36,359
Hey, look at him!
375
00:31:37,920 --> 00:31:39,319
Speech!
376
00:31:42,759 --> 00:31:45,720
Hello. Attention, everybody.
377
00:31:45,880 --> 00:31:51,160
Listen up. I present to you
the greatest moron at this school:
378
00:31:51,319 --> 00:31:54,400
- Glenn, from the special-needs class.
- What?
379
00:31:54,559 --> 00:32:00,279
How many of you have been bullied
by this meathead at some point in time?
380
00:32:03,680 --> 00:32:05,680
- Me!
- Me!
381
00:32:05,839 --> 00:32:07,880
- Me.
- Me.
382
00:32:08,039 --> 00:32:09,599
Me too!
383
00:32:10,799 --> 00:32:11,799
M...uh...
384
00:32:11,960 --> 00:32:16,359
Therefore, in the name of justice,
I, Alex of the 7th grade,
385
00:32:16,519 --> 00:32:20,680
will issue a challenge to you,
Glenn Pizza Face.
386
00:32:20,839 --> 00:32:26,599
At 7 PM on Saturday, at the playground.
You and me, if you dare.
387
00:32:28,039 --> 00:32:30,960
- Are you kidding? If I dare?
- Are you crazy?
388
00:32:31,119 --> 00:32:35,599
- I'm going to crush your skull!
- The loser will go to school naked.
389
00:32:35,759 --> 00:32:40,839
Fine, come Monday you won't
be able to walk, chicken shit loser.
390
00:32:41,000 --> 00:32:43,279
- He's so right.
- Alex, get down.
391
00:32:43,440 --> 00:32:47,359
- Yes, please, I'd really like that.
- This is going to be great fun.
392
00:32:47,519 --> 00:32:51,960
Everybody's welcome
on Saturday at 7 PM.
393
00:32:52,920 --> 00:32:54,359
(cheering)
394
00:32:54,519 --> 00:32:57,200
That's enough.
395
00:32:57,359 --> 00:33:02,720
Awesome! I'll record it, so you can see
it when you regain consciousness.
396
00:33:04,119 --> 00:33:05,680
What's up, Tarzan?
397
00:33:05,839 --> 00:33:10,160
Do you have a bucket list to tick off
because you're dying of some disease?
398
00:33:10,319 --> 00:33:12,279
Yeah, Ebola, maybe.
399
00:33:12,440 --> 00:33:16,680
If you're still alive by Saturday night,
you can drop by.
400
00:33:16,839 --> 00:33:19,160
- I'm having a party.
- Uh...
401
00:33:19,319 --> 00:33:21,559
That's awesome, dude. We'll be there.
402
00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,680
See ya...maybe.
403
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:33,759
- You gonna tell me the plan?
- Not waiting to get our asses kicked.
404
00:33:33,920 --> 00:33:36,839
We set the terms ourselves.
We chose the battleground.
405
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,680
- Does it matter where I get killed?
- Hell yes!
406
00:33:39,839 --> 00:33:42,759
We're on our home turf.
And we decided when to fight.
407
00:33:42,920 --> 00:33:47,119
- You can relax until Saturday.
- Unless Glenn won't wait.
408
00:33:47,279 --> 00:33:51,319
You challenged him publicly
and promised to humiliate yourself.
409
00:33:51,480 --> 00:33:53,920
So he'll wait.
He's looking forward to Saturday.
410
00:33:54,079 --> 00:33:58,079
- He's expecting an honest fight.
- Isn't that what he's getting?
411
00:33:58,240 --> 00:34:00,599
Are you some kind of moron?
412
00:34:15,559 --> 00:34:20,960
"He has directed other movies, but
'Nightwatch' remains his only success."
413
00:34:30,960 --> 00:34:32,000
Yeah!
414
00:35:08,199 --> 00:35:11,159
- Oh no, a splinter.
- Want me to kiss it better?
415
00:35:11,320 --> 00:35:15,920
Whatever, dork. It frays my fabric.
This is genuine cashmere.
416
00:35:16,079 --> 00:35:20,400
- Are you a real ninja?
- What do you know about ninjas?
417
00:35:20,559 --> 00:35:23,199
They lived in Japan once, right?
418
00:35:24,119 --> 00:35:28,719
Yes, in a region called Iga. They
lived in the forests in the mountains.
419
00:35:28,880 --> 00:35:31,360
They were spies, right? And mercenaries.
420
00:35:31,519 --> 00:35:35,920
It was never about money. It was all
about protecting their secret society.
421
00:35:36,079 --> 00:35:38,880
- Who was after them?
- The samurais.
422
00:35:39,039 --> 00:35:42,639
They felt threatened
by the ninja religion.
423
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:48,719
The greatest warlord sent 40,000
warriors to Iga to massacre the clans.
424
00:35:48,880 --> 00:35:52,480
- What happened?
- A few escaped and survived.
425
00:35:52,639 --> 00:35:58,000
Most of them died.
And one of them did both, in a way.
426
00:35:58,159 --> 00:36:00,559
- Taiko Nakamura.
- Who?
427
00:36:00,719 --> 00:36:05,599
Taiko Nakamura, in a hut he hides
with ten clan kids, protects their lives
428
00:36:05,760 --> 00:36:08,000
When the enemy attacked the village,
he was the one
429
00:36:08,159 --> 00:36:10,920
who was given the task
by the clan top gun.
430
00:36:11,079 --> 00:36:13,519
The same coward
who betrayed him and more
431
00:36:13,679 --> 00:36:16,639
has led the noble Naga soldiers
to their door.
432
00:36:21,039 --> 00:36:23,880
Nakamura meets death
with courage unshakeable
433
00:36:24,039 --> 00:36:26,280
Gonna take as many with him
as possible.
434
00:36:26,440 --> 00:36:29,159
He gets 16 samurais before he's slain.
435
00:36:29,320 --> 00:36:32,000
He hears a scream
as they burn down the domain.
436
00:36:32,159 --> 00:36:34,159
(screaming)
437
00:36:34,320 --> 00:36:37,119
He has failed his mission,
the hot turns to cold.
438
00:36:37,280 --> 00:36:39,519
He vows for vengeance
in exchange for his soul.
439
00:36:39,679 --> 00:36:42,239
Lightning strikes in the night
as he guts his own belly
440
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,639
and his soul leaves his body, so
the spirit seeks the story of revenge.
441
00:36:45,800 --> 00:36:49,840
Before the night is over, they find the
traitor with ten blades in his cadaver.
442
00:36:50,000 --> 00:36:55,119
And ever since, the tale has spun that
his spirit will come when evil is done.
443
00:36:55,280 --> 00:37:00,400
His soul flies on restless wings
and might strike down with lightning
444
00:37:00,559 --> 00:37:03,119
to punish those
with blood on their hands
445
00:37:03,280 --> 00:37:05,719
when kids suffer hurt
and things are rotten in the lands.
446
00:37:05,880 --> 00:37:08,599
For eternity on lonesome raids
he'll reminisce,
447
00:37:08,760 --> 00:37:11,679
Taiko Nakamura, the Guardian of Justice.
448
00:37:18,039 --> 00:37:23,840
- An avenging spirit?
- A spirit which can appear anywhere.
449
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:27,400
Even in a rag doll.
450
00:37:27,559 --> 00:37:29,679
(roaring, then laughing)
451
00:37:29,840 --> 00:37:33,320
- Asshole!
- You should've seen your face.
452
00:37:36,719 --> 00:37:39,599
- Alex, did you eat all the eggs?
- No, John.
453
00:37:39,760 --> 00:37:43,719
I could have sworn we had some eggs.
Well, I'll have some yogurt then.
454
00:37:43,880 --> 00:37:49,360
- How will you spend Saturday, Alex?
- Oh, today Alex has great plans.
455
00:37:49,519 --> 00:37:53,039
He challenged... Ow! God!
Something bit me.
456
00:37:53,199 --> 00:37:56,960
I bet it's one of those wood beetles
Auntie Sheila mentioned.
457
00:37:57,119 --> 00:38:02,280
- Do you think so?
- Let me give you an immunity massage.
458
00:38:02,440 --> 00:38:05,599
- And then it's an early bedtime.
- But I'm going to a party!
459
00:38:05,760 --> 00:38:09,239
No, you won't be up for that
after an 8-hour treatment like this.
460
00:38:09,400 --> 00:38:12,039
- John, have you seen my massage oil?
- Nope.
461
00:38:12,199 --> 00:38:14,880
- I'll use the yogurt then.
- Dad!
462
00:38:15,039 --> 00:38:17,840
- It's for your own good, Sean.
- Augh!
463
00:38:21,360 --> 00:38:24,519
(excited chattering)
Signs: RULES GLEN
464
00:38:24,679 --> 00:38:28,480
- You need to stand on the other side.
- Oh yeah, over here.
465
00:38:28,639 --> 00:38:32,440
- He's not coming.
- Nah, he's too scared.
466
00:38:32,599 --> 00:38:38,280
- Have you come to get your ass kicked?
- Come down here, if you dare.
467
00:38:38,440 --> 00:38:40,039
Fair enough.
468
00:38:41,079 --> 00:38:43,440
Whoa! He got egged right in the mouth.
469
00:38:46,440 --> 00:38:49,039
What the hell are you doing?
470
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,440
(cackles)
471
00:39:01,119 --> 00:39:03,239
(people laughing)
472
00:39:04,360 --> 00:39:08,679
- I'll break your skull.
- That's the spirit! Come on, fart face.
473
00:39:12,920 --> 00:39:14,840
(kids laughing)
474
00:39:15,960 --> 00:39:18,480
Alex! Alex! Alex!
475
00:39:25,079 --> 00:39:28,000
- Round the other way, Glenn.
- Get him.
476
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:30,880
You got him!
477
00:39:35,239 --> 00:39:39,280
- Peek-a-boo.
- I've got you now!
478
00:39:40,480 --> 00:39:42,679
(playing music)
479
00:39:47,559 --> 00:39:49,639
Ha ha, yes!
480
00:39:52,159 --> 00:39:54,320
Oh, shit.
481
00:39:57,480 --> 00:40:00,840
- Should we get back to it?
- Yeah, and then I'm gonna kill you!
482
00:40:05,159 --> 00:40:06,400
Hi.
483
00:40:22,679 --> 00:40:24,920
Whoa! Did you see that? Shit!
484
00:40:26,320 --> 00:40:28,760
That'll teach him!
485
00:40:28,920 --> 00:40:30,880
Damn, that was legit!
486
00:40:31,039 --> 00:40:34,280
(kids cheering)
487
00:40:36,800 --> 00:40:41,039
Way to go, Alex!
Alex! Alex! Alex! Alex!
488
00:40:51,360 --> 00:40:52,719
(gasps)
489
00:40:59,840 --> 00:41:03,119
Chicken shit loser! Come on!
490
00:41:10,480 --> 00:41:14,039
- Oh, right in the balls!
- Technically that was the groin.
491
00:41:21,679 --> 00:41:23,280
Argh, that actually hurt!
492
00:41:25,360 --> 00:41:26,880
What's going on?
493
00:41:28,679 --> 00:41:30,199
Come on!
494
00:41:33,320 --> 00:41:35,000
(screams)
495
00:41:37,159 --> 00:41:39,360
Let go of me!
496
00:41:42,400 --> 00:41:44,559
Let go!
497
00:41:47,719 --> 00:41:50,800
- Was that an apology?
- Yes.
498
00:41:50,960 --> 00:41:53,039
- I beg your pardon?
- Sorry.
499
00:41:53,199 --> 00:41:57,440
- Excuse me?
- Sorryyyyyyyyy!
500
00:41:58,519 --> 00:42:01,679
(kids cheering)
501
00:42:03,400 --> 00:42:07,719
- All right! Yes! What's up, champ?
- Way to go, Alex.
502
00:42:07,880 --> 00:42:11,440
- How does it feel to win?
- I'm here with Alex...
503
00:42:11,599 --> 00:42:14,480
...who just beat the school bully!
504
00:42:14,639 --> 00:42:18,679
- 19 Meadow Lane.
- Duly noted. We'll be there.
505
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:22,559
- Who asked you, Harry Potter?
- Yeah, as if. Come on, Tina.
506
00:42:22,719 --> 00:42:24,719
Yeah, Gina, let's go.
507
00:42:24,880 --> 00:42:27,280
We just became cool! Ow.
508
00:42:27,440 --> 00:42:32,000
If you party like the best-yo,
then you gotta make pesto.
509
00:42:32,159 --> 00:42:36,840
So come be my guest, bro,
so you can taste my pesto.
510
00:42:38,039 --> 00:42:41,880
- Far out! We're at Jessica's house.
- Yeah, yeah, great.
511
00:42:42,039 --> 00:42:46,360
Duty calls.
Let's start by finding her dad.
512
00:42:48,000 --> 00:42:52,880
Oh, give me that pesto.
What they won't do for that pesto.
513
00:42:53,039 --> 00:42:57,039
In Moscow or Modesto,
there's no dress code for pesto...
514
00:43:01,400 --> 00:43:03,599
- There he is!
- Hi, Alex.
515
00:43:03,760 --> 00:43:07,679
- Well done out there today.
- Really?
516
00:43:07,840 --> 00:43:10,719
- I guess it was.
- High five.
517
00:43:10,880 --> 00:43:14,039
- You were incredible out there.
- I did my best.
518
00:43:14,199 --> 00:43:17,719
- Karate Kid, man!
- That's me.
519
00:43:17,880 --> 00:43:22,039
- Oh! No. This is my killer hand.
- He's funny, too.
520
00:43:22,199 --> 00:43:24,719
Well, I'd better
go say hi to the hostess.
521
00:43:29,079 --> 00:43:33,159
Hey champ! Awesome fight. Here you go.
This party rocks.
522
00:43:33,320 --> 00:43:36,480
- Jessica was just here.
- Did you see where she went?
523
00:43:36,639 --> 00:43:38,280
Ow!
524
00:43:38,440 --> 00:43:41,360
- Where are her parents?
- In the kitchen. Her mom is super-hot.
525
00:43:41,519 --> 00:43:45,119
- What about her dad?
- Nah, he's pretty average.
526
00:43:45,280 --> 00:43:48,159
- Is he in the kitchen?
- Yeah, they're chaperoning.
527
00:43:48,320 --> 00:43:51,719
- I gotta go to the toilet.
- It's that way.
528
00:43:52,679 --> 00:43:56,199
- Hi, have the three of us met before?
- Talk to the hand, Ginger.
529
00:43:56,360 --> 00:43:59,119
- In stereo.
- And surround sound.
530
00:44:02,440 --> 00:44:04,679
- Get the mom out of there.
- What for?
531
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:06,400
Just do it!
532
00:44:07,440 --> 00:44:09,400
Oh, give me that pesto...
533
00:44:11,400 --> 00:44:15,119
The bathroom's
down the hall on the right.
534
00:44:16,840 --> 00:44:21,320
- Somebody vomited on the carpet.
- Ugh, not again.
535
00:44:22,199 --> 00:44:23,199
(sound of a knife blade)
536
00:44:23,360 --> 00:44:27,440
Just another thing... Uh, excuse me...
537
00:44:27,599 --> 00:44:30,639
- It's just that...
- Phillip Eppermint!
538
00:44:30,800 --> 00:44:32,960
Oops. Ow! Shit!
539
00:44:33,119 --> 00:44:34,840
Huh?
540
00:44:35,000 --> 00:44:39,159
At your service! You gave me
quite the scare. I was just...
541
00:44:39,320 --> 00:44:42,760
- Hey, what's that?
- A credit card belonging to you.
542
00:44:42,920 --> 00:44:47,239
- (NINJA: No, no!)
- A Platinum Card. Oh, I wish.
543
00:44:47,400 --> 00:44:50,880
But that would require a much higher
salary. Nice gesture, though.
544
00:44:51,039 --> 00:44:54,320
- So you're not Phillip Eppermint?
- I spell it with a Y.
545
00:44:54,480 --> 00:44:57,039
I'm changing my name next month.
546
00:44:57,199 --> 00:45:01,320
My numerologist suggested
Sidney Esameseed.
547
00:45:01,480 --> 00:45:04,920
Also because of all the negative
publicity about that toy tycoon.
548
00:45:05,079 --> 00:45:07,719
Oh wait, it's probably his credit card.
549
00:45:07,880 --> 00:45:10,760
- He lives over on Beverly Park Circle.
- (NINJA: Let's go!)
550
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:13,840
- Say, aren't you Sean's little brother?
- Stepbrother.
551
00:45:14,000 --> 00:45:17,000
Tell your stepfather hello, then.
He's still mad at me
552
00:45:17,159 --> 00:45:22,360
for refusing to provide public funding
to develop his Nixy-Dixy Dolls.
553
00:45:22,519 --> 00:45:25,840
- Would you like something to eat?
- Sure, why not? Ow!
554
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:29,840
No, I'd better...
Bye. Nice meeting you.
555
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,280
Ah, well. It needs some pesto.
556
00:45:33,440 --> 00:45:37,360
What is wrong with you?
Why did you shout at him?
557
00:45:37,519 --> 00:45:42,000
- I need to give that credit card back.
- Yeah, yeah, calm down.
558
00:45:42,159 --> 00:45:44,880
- Alex.
- Hey, Jessica...
559
00:45:45,039 --> 00:45:48,679
- You're so awesome.
- Am I?
560
00:45:48,840 --> 00:45:52,920
Yeah. I thought you were
just a little brat with a ninja doll.
561
00:45:53,079 --> 00:45:57,039
No, no,
this is just a gift for my cousin.
562
00:45:58,000 --> 00:46:02,320
- You're kind of cute.
- Uh... Right back at you.
563
00:46:03,280 --> 00:46:06,639
- You wanna dance?
-Uh... Yeah, definitely.
564
00:46:08,079 --> 00:46:11,719
- I have to go to the toilet. Wait here?
- Yeah, yeah!
565
00:46:13,199 --> 00:46:15,360
Oh, yes!
566
00:46:15,519 --> 00:46:18,920
- You're not going to dance now.
- Yes, I am.
567
00:46:19,079 --> 00:46:23,800
- Hey, human. You promised to help me.
- But not during the party.
568
00:46:23,960 --> 00:46:27,000
- To hell with the party!
- But Jessica...
569
00:46:27,159 --> 00:46:33,079
- Forget that chick. I need you.
- I'll help you, just not right now.
570
00:46:34,920 --> 00:46:37,800
- You stinking liar!
- Hey, chill out.
571
00:46:37,960 --> 00:46:42,000
- Everything you have is thanks to me.
- Whatever. Get real!
572
00:46:42,159 --> 00:46:46,400
- You're only popular because of me.
- You helped me, yeah.
573
00:46:46,559 --> 00:46:48,920
It's not like
I can't breathe without you.
574
00:46:49,079 --> 00:46:52,840
- It was so awesome.
- He flew through the air.
575
00:46:53,000 --> 00:46:56,559
- There he is! Awesome fight, Alex.
- Bet you didn't see that coming.
576
00:46:56,719 --> 00:47:01,920
- Especially that kung fu stuff.
- That was my own idea.
577
00:47:02,079 --> 00:47:06,480
- You rule, man. See you, Alex.
- Right, see you in there.
578
00:47:06,639 --> 00:47:11,239
So. You think you can do it
all by yourself. Take this then!
579
00:47:11,400 --> 00:47:15,159
- No! Argh! Wait!
- (NINJA laughs)
580
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:25,400
Excuse me.
581
00:47:26,480 --> 00:47:29,840
Help! I peed my pants.
582
00:47:31,000 --> 00:47:33,440
No, no, it's... Ow!
583
00:47:33,599 --> 00:47:38,719
- And I need to take a dump, too.
- No, no, let me explain!
584
00:47:44,280 --> 00:47:47,440
- Jessica, it's me. Alex.
- Just a second.
585
00:47:47,599 --> 00:47:51,119
I don't want to dance.
You're not up to my standard.
586
00:47:51,280 --> 00:47:54,519
- What?
- Yeah. I think I'm too hot for you.
587
00:47:54,679 --> 00:47:58,360
- You'll have to settle for Odysseus.
- Say what?
588
00:48:02,440 --> 00:48:07,480
- You're too hot for me?
- What? No, no, I never...
589
00:48:07,639 --> 00:48:12,639
- And I'm not up to your standard?
- Hey, did you really wet yourself?
590
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:17,559
What? No, that was the ninja.
This is all because of my ninja doll.
591
00:48:17,719 --> 00:48:22,199
- Or my cousin's ninja doll.
- Right. See you later, "hot stuff."
592
00:48:22,360 --> 00:48:26,519
- Odysseus, you want to make out?
- Let me see...
593
00:48:26,679 --> 00:48:28,760
Yes, please!
594
00:48:28,920 --> 00:48:30,920
- Bye. Get home safely.
- Odysseus?
595
00:48:31,079 --> 00:48:36,519
The lady wants to make out.
If I don't do it, somebody else will.
596
00:48:45,800 --> 00:48:49,000
- So, did you dance?
- What the hell is your problem?
597
00:48:49,159 --> 00:48:51,880
- You broke your promise.
- I said I'd help!
598
00:48:52,039 --> 00:48:55,840
- I need your help now.
- You can't just ruin my life!
599
00:48:56,000 --> 00:48:57,360
(sighs)
600
00:48:57,519 --> 00:49:01,320
I'm sorry. I went too far,
but this is important.
601
00:49:01,480 --> 00:49:04,280
Why is this credit card
a matter of life and death?
602
00:49:04,440 --> 00:49:07,800
It's a ninja thing.
A matter of honor.
603
00:49:07,960 --> 00:49:08,760
(sighs)
604
00:49:08,920 --> 00:49:14,880
Human... If you help me now, I promise
I'll make everything right again.
605
00:49:15,039 --> 00:49:18,400
- You promise?
- Trust me.
606
00:49:18,559 --> 00:49:22,239
Okay.
Will Jessica ever like me again?
607
00:49:22,400 --> 00:49:27,440
Well, you did say some
pretty weird things to her. Let's go.
608
00:49:31,880 --> 00:49:35,880
- Don't you think he's asleep?
- Let's hope so. Come on.
609
00:49:43,039 --> 00:49:47,239
- What the hell are you doing?
- I'm supposed to be a secret. Come on.
610
00:49:52,760 --> 00:49:55,519
- No, don't ring the bell.
- Why?
611
00:49:55,679 --> 00:49:58,679
- He hates it when people do that.
- But...
612
00:50:00,639 --> 00:50:03,079
- Good thing he's got a cat.
- A pretty big cat.
613
00:50:03,239 --> 00:50:05,840
Are you afraid of big cats?
614
00:50:09,960 --> 00:50:14,480
(growling sound)
615
00:50:14,639 --> 00:50:19,360
- Do you think this is okay?
- He'll be happy to get his card back.
616
00:50:19,519 --> 00:50:24,559
- Can't we just leave it somewhere?
- I just want to make sure he's here.
617
00:50:29,599 --> 00:50:33,880
- Damn. I don't think he's home.
- A suitcase. Maybe he's on a trip.
618
00:50:34,039 --> 00:50:38,800
On a trip? With the suitcase in his
room? Are you related to Glenn?
619
00:50:38,960 --> 00:50:43,719
- Perhaps he's going on a trip?
- We need to find out.
620
00:50:47,320 --> 00:50:48,920
Bingo!
621
00:50:50,760 --> 00:50:53,840
- What did you say?
- I said, bingo!
622
00:50:55,039 --> 00:50:59,280
- It's a plane ticket to Thailand.
- To visit his slave factory.
623
00:50:59,440 --> 00:51:03,280
- Does it say when he leaves?
- Yeah. But what's going on?
624
00:51:03,440 --> 00:51:06,639
(dog barking)
625
00:51:08,239 --> 00:51:11,199
(dog yelping)
626
00:51:14,440 --> 00:51:16,320
(toilet flushing)
627
00:51:16,480 --> 00:51:20,079
I won't pay another penny
if it's not up to standard.
628
00:51:21,239 --> 00:51:25,039
We'll discuss it when I get there.
I will see you then.
629
00:51:25,199 --> 00:51:28,239
Is there something wrong, big boy?
Hello?
630
00:51:28,400 --> 00:51:31,760
Is there somebody here? Hello?
631
00:51:31,920 --> 00:51:34,519
- I've got you now.
- What the hell...?
632
00:51:34,679 --> 00:51:35,480
Argh!
633
00:51:39,079 --> 00:51:41,239
- No!
- Let go, you moron!
634
00:51:43,119 --> 00:51:45,480
(alarm sounding)
635
00:51:46,519 --> 00:51:48,480
- Oh, shit!
- Help!
636
00:51:48,639 --> 00:51:53,760
- What are you doing?
- He's getting away, you dipshit!
637
00:51:53,920 --> 00:51:57,760
In here. Save me!
638
00:51:57,920 --> 00:52:00,159
I'm so glad you're here.
They're upstairs.
639
00:52:00,320 --> 00:52:04,920
- What's going on, Mr. Eppermint?
- They threw knives at me.
640
00:52:05,079 --> 00:52:09,559
- Barricade the door! Quick!
- Can you please explain?
641
00:52:09,719 --> 00:52:12,639
You want to chat now
or maybe get out first?
642
00:52:12,800 --> 00:52:16,639
What the hell is this?
This has nothing to do with the card.
643
00:52:16,800 --> 00:52:21,239
Phillip Eppermint is an evil man.
He killed an innocent little boy.
644
00:52:21,400 --> 00:52:23,960
And he uses child slave labor.
645
00:52:24,119 --> 00:52:28,039
- So? Are you going to kill him?
- Something like that.
646
00:52:28,199 --> 00:52:30,920
You saw his flight details.
Don't forget them.
647
00:52:31,079 --> 00:52:33,159
- Get the collar.
- From that thing?
648
00:52:33,320 --> 00:52:37,519
- Unless you're wearing one yourself.
- This is not happening...
649
00:52:39,280 --> 00:52:41,000
His name is Bingo.
650
00:52:41,159 --> 00:52:43,679
(Bingo barking)
651
00:52:43,840 --> 00:52:47,320
- Help me!
- There. Right behind the ear.
652
00:52:49,159 --> 00:52:52,679
- Security. Open the door.
- Just a minute. I'm getting dressed.
653
00:52:52,840 --> 00:52:54,079
Quick!
654
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:57,880
What are you doing?
655
00:52:58,039 --> 00:53:00,039
We're breaking down the door!
656
00:53:01,280 --> 00:53:05,159
Give me the collar.
Grab it. Come on, jump.
657
00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:07,639
- Come on.
- I can't.
658
00:53:08,599 --> 00:53:10,760
Bingo!
659
00:53:13,239 --> 00:53:15,800
(Alex screaming)
660
00:53:17,679 --> 00:53:19,760
Coming through!
661
00:53:19,920 --> 00:53:21,800
All right. Bingo.
662
00:53:21,960 --> 00:53:26,119
(Sound of Bingo barking
and attacking the policeman)
663
00:53:29,360 --> 00:53:32,760
- It's you! You're Taiko Kamakura.
- Nakamura!
664
00:53:32,920 --> 00:53:35,920
- You used me.
- You promised to help.
665
00:53:36,079 --> 00:53:39,559
To deliver a credit card.
Not to kill people!
666
00:53:39,719 --> 00:53:43,199
- He killed an innocent little boy.
- And now you're going to kill him?
667
00:53:43,360 --> 00:53:45,360
It's called justice.
668
00:53:45,519 --> 00:53:47,000
(police siren)
669
00:53:47,159 --> 00:53:52,320
- What about the other slave kids?
- Things like that happen all the time.
670
00:53:52,480 --> 00:53:57,519
Oh, well, that's all right then.
Tell me when his plane leaves.
671
00:53:57,679 --> 00:53:59,960
No. I want no part in this.
672
00:54:02,159 --> 00:54:04,079
(Alex screaming)
673
00:54:07,199 --> 00:54:09,280
(sound of a knife blade)
674
00:54:11,079 --> 00:54:15,880
- Tell me. Now!
- No. Just do it. I've had it.
675
00:54:26,440 --> 00:54:30,280
I can't kill you, human.
We've been through too much together.
676
00:54:32,639 --> 00:54:35,039
But it might be easier with...
677
00:54:35,199 --> 00:54:38,760
Might be easier...with Sean.
678
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:41,599
- No, you can't.
- You wanted him dead.
679
00:54:41,760 --> 00:54:46,599
- Those were just words.
- I only understand actions.
680
00:54:51,440 --> 00:54:53,559
No! Stop!
681
00:54:53,719 --> 00:54:55,159
Wait!
682
00:55:00,039 --> 00:55:02,039
Get off the road!
683
00:55:05,639 --> 00:55:06,719
Oh no...
684
00:55:17,920 --> 00:55:19,400
Sean?
685
00:55:23,840 --> 00:55:26,679
No, no, no. Sean?
686
00:55:31,719 --> 00:55:35,039
What's going on? Is it dinner time?
687
00:55:35,199 --> 00:55:37,800
(Nakamura cackling)
688
00:55:37,960 --> 00:55:39,920
Stop it! No!
689
00:55:42,360 --> 00:55:45,880
- What's going on?
- Alex, stop! Alex!
690
00:55:46,039 --> 00:55:49,440
- Alex!
- What're you doing, Alex?
691
00:55:49,599 --> 00:55:52,199
- Dad?
- Are you alright, snookums?
692
00:55:52,360 --> 00:55:55,280
Alex, put down that pillow. Now.
693
00:55:55,440 --> 00:55:58,840
But it wasn't me.
You think I did this?
694
00:55:59,000 --> 00:56:02,800
It was the ninja.
He's out there somewhere.
695
00:56:04,039 --> 00:56:08,920
- He wants me to help him commit murder.
- What's happening?
696
00:56:09,079 --> 00:56:14,760
You've gotta believe me.
The checkered ninja wants to kill Sean.
697
00:56:17,159 --> 00:56:18,679
But...
698
00:56:19,559 --> 00:56:22,440
Stress, pure and simple.
He needs calm.
699
00:56:22,599 --> 00:56:25,760
- For how long?
- A couple of weeks.
700
00:56:25,920 --> 00:56:28,280
We can't just leave him.
701
00:56:28,440 --> 00:56:33,679
We can't have him at home
when he's trying to kill Sean, darling.
702
00:56:33,840 --> 00:56:36,400
I told you it was the ninja!
703
00:56:37,280 --> 00:56:41,679
- Hello!
- Doctor, give him this dream catcher.
704
00:56:41,840 --> 00:56:47,559
- It might help take the edge off.
- Go home and get some rest.
705
00:56:47,719 --> 00:56:49,159
Alex is safe with us.
706
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:07,039
Aw, poor little Alex.
707
00:57:08,599 --> 00:57:12,440
So, you've lost your marbles.
Poor boy.
708
00:57:15,079 --> 00:57:17,760
I'm sure it's stress.
709
00:57:20,840 --> 00:57:22,920
Where are you?
710
00:57:23,079 --> 00:57:25,280
What? Hmm... There.
711
00:57:27,079 --> 00:57:32,239
Peek-a-boo. Nice room.
Love what you've done with it.
712
00:57:34,800 --> 00:57:38,000
- Tell me when his flight leaves.
- Never!
713
00:57:45,039 --> 00:57:48,119
- You tried to kill my brother.
- Step-brother.
714
00:57:48,280 --> 00:57:52,079
- I helped you, but you refuse to help.
- You're crazy!
715
00:57:55,239 --> 00:58:00,519
You're too good to get your hands dirty.
Try blaming this on your teddy bear!
716
00:58:00,679 --> 00:58:05,400
- Doctor, I have something to tell you.
- Just a moment, Alex.
717
00:58:05,559 --> 00:58:09,400
Stop it. Are you really
going to kill an innocent man?
718
00:58:09,559 --> 00:58:10,800
It's him or Eppermint.
719
00:58:10,960 --> 00:58:14,440
- Hurry. My bed's on fire.
- I'm coming.
720
00:58:14,599 --> 00:58:19,800
- It's now or never.
- We don't have to kill Eppermint.
721
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:23,679
- You think it's enough just to egg him?
- No, but...
722
00:58:23,840 --> 00:58:27,840
I want him dead.
He deserves the ultimate punishment.
723
00:58:29,039 --> 00:58:31,559
Punishment...
724
00:58:31,719 --> 00:58:35,920
- Why not punish him even harder?
- What?
725
00:58:36,079 --> 00:58:39,039
What if we could make him
wish he were dead?
726
00:58:39,199 --> 00:58:44,079
We can hit Phillip Eppermint hard,
but we have to hurry.
727
00:58:44,239 --> 00:58:47,599
Hello?
I can't avenge a murder without blood.
728
00:58:47,760 --> 00:58:52,079
- Can't? Is that the great Kamakura?
- Nakamura!
729
00:58:52,239 --> 00:58:55,880
You can't, because you believe
you can't. That's what you told me.
730
00:58:56,039 --> 00:59:00,679
You were right. I could do it.
You gave me courage.
731
00:59:00,840 --> 00:59:03,679
- And now you're afraid.
- Afraid of what?
732
00:59:03,840 --> 00:59:06,239
Coming, Alex! I'm going to tuck him in.
733
00:59:06,400 --> 00:59:10,960
You're afraid to change. That's why
you've been haunting for 400 years.
734
00:59:11,119 --> 00:59:14,719
- You're afraid to trust me.
- Don't say that, you big...
735
00:59:14,880 --> 00:59:20,159
Then prove it. Trust me.
We'll bring Eppermint down for good.
736
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:30,519
Well, Alex,
it's just about your bedtime.
737
00:59:38,559 --> 00:59:41,800
I think you're ready to let us go,
don't you think?
738
00:59:41,960 --> 00:59:43,760
Yes, yes.
739
00:59:44,800 --> 00:59:47,440
Yeah. We're in a bit of a hurry.
740
00:59:50,440 --> 00:59:55,599
I'll call your parents and tell them
that you need complete freedom.
741
00:59:55,760 --> 01:00:00,960
- Yes. And lots of smoothies.
- Definitely. They'll work wonders.
742
01:00:01,119 --> 01:00:05,360
I'll call them right now.
Super dooper party trouper.
743
01:00:07,880 --> 01:00:10,719
- What's the plan?
- He's leaving tonight.
744
01:00:10,880 --> 01:00:14,119
- We have to stop him.
- We'll give him a going away present.
745
01:00:14,280 --> 01:00:17,840
- Something to bring to Thailand.
- You've lost me.
746
01:00:18,000 --> 01:00:20,280
- We'll visit my uncle.
- That old drunk?
747
01:00:20,440 --> 01:00:22,840
Yes, sirs!
748
01:00:23,000 --> 01:00:26,320
I suck at playing Canasta
at Rummy and at Whist.
749
01:00:26,480 --> 01:00:29,960
Always get beat in UNO
'cause I play it with a twist.
750
01:00:30,119 --> 01:00:33,400
And I don't even know
a quick card trick.
751
01:00:33,559 --> 01:00:36,719
But I'm the best in the world
when I'm playing with my...
752
01:00:41,239 --> 01:00:44,480
I'm not that good at tennis,
don't know how to play squash.
753
01:00:44,639 --> 01:00:48,039
I'm ridiculous at soccer.
At handball I'm no BAWZ.
754
01:00:48,199 --> 01:00:51,000
At basketball I'm the last pick.
755
01:00:51,159 --> 01:00:53,559
But I'm the best in the world
when I'm playing with my...
756
01:00:53,719 --> 01:00:57,480
Who's that knocking now? Best
in the world when I'm playing with my...
757
01:00:57,639 --> 01:01:01,320
Hurry up. Hurry up. Best in the world
when I'm playing with my...
758
01:01:01,480 --> 01:01:05,440
At spanking, at slapping,
at playing...
759
01:01:05,599 --> 01:01:08,119
- Hello?
- All right then.
760
01:01:09,199 --> 01:01:13,760
- Hi.
- Alex! I was just about to sing "dick."
761
01:01:13,920 --> 01:01:17,159
- Uh, okay... Can I come in?
- Sure.
762
01:01:17,320 --> 01:01:20,239
- Are you okay?
- Yeah.
763
01:01:20,400 --> 01:01:24,199
Ouch, hot damn in a frying pan.
Do you want a fried egg?
764
01:01:24,360 --> 01:01:27,079
- No, thanks.
- Make yourself at home.
765
01:01:27,239 --> 01:01:29,960
- Oh, uh...
- I came to ask you for help.
766
01:01:30,119 --> 01:01:34,480
- For you, anything.
- I'm doing a report on drugs.
767
01:01:34,639 --> 01:01:38,320
I see!
I'm not into that shit. You know that.
768
01:01:38,480 --> 01:01:42,239
Of course not.
But you just know so much about life.
769
01:01:42,400 --> 01:01:46,920
That's true, I know my way
around the block, as they say.
770
01:01:47,079 --> 01:01:51,280
I move in certain circles.
I know the games people play.
771
01:01:51,440 --> 01:01:55,119
- I know where the bodies are buried.
- Exactly.
772
01:01:55,280 --> 01:01:59,000
I have to write a report
on how to get hold of drugs.
773
01:01:59,159 --> 01:02:03,880
That's simple, my boy!
You just call them up, and they deliver.
774
01:02:04,039 --> 01:02:06,440
- Really?
- You bet.
775
01:02:06,599 --> 01:02:09,480
At least I think so. Who knows? Ahem.
776
01:02:09,639 --> 01:02:13,239
- But who do you call?
- I certainly don't know that.
777
01:02:13,400 --> 01:02:17,800
And even if I did, I couldn't just say
"his name is Scooter-Scotty."
778
01:02:17,960 --> 01:02:19,360
Oh, shit.
779
01:02:19,519 --> 01:02:24,880
- What do you say when you call him?
- You say: "What's up, Rectangle?"
780
01:02:25,039 --> 01:02:28,920
- Rectangle?
- Damn. That's his code name.
781
01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:32,119
- And then you give your order?
- Discreetly.
782
01:02:32,280 --> 01:02:37,840
"You going out? Can I come by?
I'm baking, but I've run out of flour."
783
01:02:38,000 --> 01:02:41,079
- And then he just delivers?
- Not to just anybody.
784
01:02:41,239 --> 01:02:46,239
You can't just call him. Well, maybe
if you told him Stewart said hi.
785
01:02:46,400 --> 01:02:49,480
Yeah. I mean,
I might have done it once at a party.
786
01:02:49,639 --> 01:02:53,280
Or twice. It was New Year's Eve.
787
01:02:53,440 --> 01:02:56,079
Max three times.
Never on weekdays. Except in summer.
788
01:02:56,239 --> 01:03:02,679
- You don't have his number, do you?
- No, I can't give you that.
789
01:03:02,840 --> 01:03:08,800
It's safely noted under S
in my little private black book.
790
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:12,239
But that sounds like
an interesting assignment.
791
01:03:13,239 --> 01:03:18,039
Do you want a can of mackerel
or something? Alex?
792
01:03:19,719 --> 01:03:23,719
I could've sworn I had guests.
Oh well, to hell with that.
793
01:03:26,119 --> 01:03:28,400
Yes, sirs.
794
01:03:28,559 --> 01:03:31,920
Here comes Pat, Postman Pat,
in his car with a big fat glow.
795
01:03:32,079 --> 01:03:34,920
Oh, my white bride is snow for the nose.
You ring and I bring it in loads.
796
01:03:35,079 --> 01:03:38,000
Hoes in my bed,
steady income, drink it all up.
797
01:03:38,159 --> 01:03:41,360
Dom Perignon slanging the Kain.
798
01:03:41,519 --> 01:03:44,840
I'm O to the G,
all fired up on overload.
799
01:03:45,000 --> 01:03:49,480
- Yeah?
- Hi there, Rectangle. This is Glenn.
800
01:03:49,639 --> 01:03:52,360
- Glenn?
- Stewart told me to say hi.
801
01:03:52,519 --> 01:03:54,119
The old drunk?
802
01:03:55,119 --> 01:03:59,800
I'm baking, you know.
Cinnamon rolls. Or something like that.
803
01:03:59,960 --> 01:04:03,239
- But I'm out of flour.
- Okay.
804
01:04:03,400 --> 01:04:07,239
- Where are you?
- In my bedroom.
805
01:04:07,400 --> 01:04:11,599
- Or I'm taking a bath. I'm going to.
- Are you stupid?
806
01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:13,400
Yeah.
807
01:04:13,559 --> 01:04:18,960
Okay. I have to run a couple of errands.
We can meet in the supermarket garage.
808
01:04:19,119 --> 01:04:22,400
- Hi, sweetie. Do you want a smoothie?
- Not right now.
809
01:04:22,559 --> 01:04:24,599
- What?
- I mean yes. Right now is fine.
810
01:04:24,760 --> 01:04:28,639
- In an hour. How much?
- We can make it to go.
811
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:31,039
- I don't want any!
- What?
812
01:04:31,199 --> 01:04:34,519
- Just say when.
- We're ready when you are.
813
01:04:34,679 --> 01:04:37,039
- Hello?
- Sorry. Uh, one kilo.
814
01:04:37,199 --> 01:04:40,880
- You're breaking up.
- One kilo.
815
01:04:41,039 --> 01:04:44,480
- One kilo? Like one thousand grams?
- That's right.
816
01:04:44,639 --> 01:04:46,840
- What's this?
- Part of the plan.
817
01:04:47,000 --> 01:04:52,920
- Saying no to smoothies? Great plan!
- Can you afford that much flour?
818
01:04:53,079 --> 01:04:57,519
Otherwise, that's gonna be
one messy kitchen, you know what I mean?
819
01:04:57,679 --> 01:04:59,159
See ya.
820
01:04:59,320 --> 01:05:03,480
All fired up on overload,
pushing that snow.
821
01:05:03,639 --> 01:05:07,159
I'm the ice man,
obey my code.
822
01:05:07,320 --> 01:05:10,639
Your balls implode,
my stacks explode.
823
01:05:10,800 --> 01:05:14,159
Your balls implode,
my stacks explode.
824
01:05:20,719 --> 01:05:23,800
Hi, Rectangle.
It's me, Glenn.
825
01:05:23,960 --> 01:05:26,679
- You're Glenn?
- Yeah.
826
01:05:26,840 --> 01:05:30,400
Alright,
but don't do it all at once.
827
01:05:31,719 --> 01:05:37,840
- You don't mind that I'm a kid?
- If I don't do it, someone else will.
828
01:05:38,000 --> 01:05:40,599
- Do you have the money?
- Sure I have.
829
01:05:42,199 --> 01:05:45,400
- Do I have idiot tattooed on my head?
- Yes.
830
01:05:45,559 --> 01:05:49,039
- Give me the money!
- That was a dumb move.
831
01:05:49,199 --> 01:05:51,760
A really dumb move.
832
01:05:51,920 --> 01:05:55,360
(glass breaking)
(Rectangle screaming)
833
01:05:57,400 --> 01:06:01,719
- You can't leave me here.
- We wouldn't. Police are on their way.
834
01:06:01,880 --> 01:06:06,960
Help!
Let me out. Somebody, please.
835
01:06:30,639 --> 01:06:32,960
(stabbing sound)
836
01:06:37,320 --> 01:06:39,639
- There you go. I'm open.
- Yeah...
837
01:06:40,719 --> 01:06:45,880
- You sure this is enough?
- They'll lock him away for good.
838
01:06:46,039 --> 01:06:49,760
Watch it with the needle.
This is genuine cashmere.
839
01:06:49,920 --> 01:06:55,960
- I used to take arts and crafts.
- Nice. You're a born architect there.
840
01:06:56,119 --> 01:06:59,599
- I've got a little something for you.
- For me? A gift?
841
01:06:59,760 --> 01:07:03,360
Wow, a...
What is it? A homemade telescope?
842
01:07:03,519 --> 01:07:05,920
Turn around.
843
01:07:06,079 --> 01:07:09,639
You have to be ready for your mission.
844
01:07:09,800 --> 01:07:14,039
- You shouldn't wave that thing around.
- You've made a...
845
01:07:14,199 --> 01:07:18,639
Yeah, it's made of cardboard,
so it isn't waterproof.
846
01:07:18,800 --> 01:07:23,679
- Checkered. I have nothing for you.
- You've given me so much.
847
01:07:27,679 --> 01:07:32,599
- It's...it's been fun.
- Yeah. It has.
848
01:07:35,360 --> 01:07:36,920
Come on.
849
01:07:43,199 --> 01:07:46,840
All right, let go of me, wuss.
We're going to war.
850
01:08:05,840 --> 01:08:09,280
All right, Eppermint
will be checking in right there.
851
01:08:09,440 --> 01:08:13,880
When he isn't looking,
you're gonna jump into his bag.
852
01:08:14,039 --> 01:08:17,199
You've taught me to trust people.
853
01:08:17,359 --> 01:08:21,760
- What are you doing with my phone?
- I was looking for my sword.
854
01:08:21,920 --> 01:08:24,439
Is he there yet?
855
01:08:24,600 --> 01:08:26,840
There. That's him!
856
01:08:36,000 --> 01:08:38,319
Okay. Time to go.
857
01:08:39,760 --> 01:08:43,399
What? Oh no.
He's headed straight for security.
858
01:08:43,560 --> 01:08:46,359
He's only got a carry-on. Come on!
859
01:08:50,000 --> 01:08:52,560
- Excuse me. I need to get by!
- Ouch!
860
01:08:54,439 --> 01:08:57,720
- No!
- Damn. What now?
861
01:08:59,000 --> 01:09:02,359
You'll have to take that one
and then change bags in Bangkok.
862
01:09:08,359 --> 01:09:10,560
Okay, now.
863
01:09:13,760 --> 01:09:15,840
- Good luck.
- Thanks. Now go.
864
01:09:16,000 --> 01:09:19,079
- Next, please.
- That's me. Off to Thailand.
865
01:09:19,239 --> 01:09:23,199
Play a bit of golf.
Good exercise.
866
01:09:53,840 --> 01:09:57,680
Head full of thoughts,
but my body feels shut down.
867
01:10:00,560 --> 01:10:06,159
I don't wanna go back to the time
that was before you came around.
868
01:10:07,880 --> 01:10:14,760
Suddenly it was over,
and I didn't see it was just a spree.
869
01:10:15,800 --> 01:10:20,119
I didn't even see you come
and now you're free.
870
01:10:20,279 --> 01:10:23,239
And now you are gone,
away from me.
871
01:10:23,399 --> 01:10:27,920
Running free,
up and away so suddenly.
872
01:10:28,079 --> 01:10:29,960
I'm looking ahead.
873
01:10:30,119 --> 01:10:34,199
And just like you said,
I will keep rising.
874
01:10:34,359 --> 01:10:39,319
I know our time is out,
and what you're about.
875
01:10:39,479 --> 01:10:45,800
Nothing more to do or say.
You never look back or stay.
876
01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,760
I hope that you'll find your way.
877
01:11:18,159 --> 01:11:19,720
(dog barking)
878
01:11:25,359 --> 01:11:27,720
Have a sniff, Fido.
879
01:11:50,720 --> 01:11:51,960
Taxi!
880
01:12:05,319 --> 01:12:08,600
- You're finished, child killer!
- What's happening?
881
01:12:18,119 --> 01:12:21,439
- Drugs?
- I don't know what...
882
01:12:21,600 --> 01:12:23,840
That's not...
883
01:12:24,000 --> 01:12:26,279
(speaking Thai)
884
01:12:26,439 --> 01:12:28,920
That's not mine.
885
01:12:29,079 --> 01:12:33,000
(dog barking)
(policemen speaking Thai)
886
01:12:33,159 --> 01:12:36,199
That hurt!
I want to call my lawyer.
887
01:12:48,000 --> 01:12:51,159
I can't believe he's actually doing it.
It's crazy!
888
01:12:51,319 --> 01:12:54,119
- Show it to Alex.
- Alex, look!
889
01:12:55,199 --> 01:12:58,880
- Nice ass.
- It's prettier than his face.
890
01:12:59,039 --> 01:13:02,079
- Hi, Alex.
- Uh, hi.
891
01:13:02,239 --> 01:13:06,319
- Thank you for your sweet message.
- What?
892
01:13:06,479 --> 01:13:10,359
- What was the message?
- OMG, you'll die.
893
01:13:10,520 --> 01:13:16,039
Hello, it's me. I just want to say sorry
for everything I've put you through.
894
01:13:16,199 --> 01:13:19,760
- Isn't it super-cute?
- You're the most wonderful person.
895
01:13:19,920 --> 01:13:23,920
I mean, you've taught me
that it's safe to trust people again.
896
01:13:24,079 --> 01:13:27,720
- Goodbye.
- What are you doing with my phone?
897
01:13:27,880 --> 01:13:31,800
Isn't that just cute?
I almost fainted.
898
01:13:31,960 --> 01:13:35,960
- What a cutie pie.
- It came straight from the heart.
899
01:13:36,119 --> 01:13:39,880
- Shh... Behind you.
- Yeah, he's right there.
900
01:13:45,920 --> 01:13:51,560
- Oh, my God.
- What just happened?
901
01:13:51,720 --> 01:13:55,319
Hashtag Prince Charming.
Hashtag summer wedding.
902
01:13:57,439 --> 01:14:00,640
Here you go, Alex.
A nice smoothie for you.
903
01:14:00,800 --> 01:14:04,880
- There's lots of cookies too, darling.
- Yes, just dig in, Alex.
904
01:14:05,039 --> 01:14:10,199
- John, you haven't touched your quinoa.
- Would you like to go first, Sean?
905
01:14:11,479 --> 01:14:14,399
Delicious.
Thank you, Sirena.
906
01:14:14,560 --> 01:14:18,520
I would like to propose a toast
to Sirena, and to you, Alex.
907
01:14:18,680 --> 01:14:24,640
- Thank you for welcoming us here.
- Congratulations on your patent.
908
01:14:24,800 --> 01:14:28,439
The supermarket
ordered 6,000 SnackyPacks.
909
01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:31,159
I'll be able to help out
with the bills now.
910
01:14:31,319 --> 01:14:36,560
...at Bangkok Airport, billionaire toy
tycoon Phillip Eppermint was arrested.
911
01:14:36,720 --> 01:14:38,800
He will be charged with drug smuggling.
912
01:14:38,960 --> 01:14:45,520
Bloody fingerprints on a doll
led to the arrest of a factory manager.
913
01:14:45,680 --> 01:14:50,600
It's a tough world. Did you hear about
that drug dealer found in his car trunk?
914
01:14:50,760 --> 01:14:53,479
- No, what happened?
- Did a superhero catch him?
915
01:14:53,640 --> 01:14:56,399
- You could say that.
- No, that's vigilantism!
916
01:14:56,560 --> 01:14:58,760
- Yeah, but pretty awesome.
- And brave.
917
01:14:58,920 --> 01:15:03,560
- What motivates someone like that?
- Yes, what is he thinking?
918
01:15:03,720 --> 01:15:09,119
Bag snatchers run rampant
in the suburbs. Locals are scared.
919
01:15:09,279 --> 01:15:11,720
The police have been powerless.
920
01:15:11,880 --> 01:15:18,279
He's probably thinking:
"If I don't do something, nobody will."
921
01:15:20,439 --> 01:15:23,039
Sweetie-pie, where are you going?
922
01:15:28,640 --> 01:15:30,880
I'm just going out.
923
01:19:08,119 --> 01:19:10,880
English subtitles: Oneliner
77428
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