Original subtitles

Hello. I'm Matt Lucas.

Now, like many Britons,

I first laid eyes on Shane Jenek and his alter ego, Courtney Act,

when they appeared on Celebrity Big Brother here in the UK.

For four weeks, Shane and Courtney charmed the nation,

entertaining and educating housemates and viewers alike.

Since then, we've become great friends.

We go to the theatre together. It's nice.

Now, it's more than 20 years since Shane first stepped out as Courtney,

and there have been plenty of ups and downs along the way.

This is their story.

SHANE/COURTNEY: Getting into drag is, I guess,

a process that I've been doing for 20 years, so it's kind of second nature.

There's a lot of tools that are involved.

I've got make-up, I've got wigs, I've got shoes, I've got accessories,

undergarments, and then the outfits that I'm going to wear.

WOMAN: He puts on make-up better than any woman that I know.

MAN: I was watching him for hours getting ready.

I'm going, "Really? What do you do that for?

"Wow! Really?! You do all that?!"

It takes forever. "What's the tape for?!"

(LAUGHS)

There's some things a mother just doesn't need to know.

Do you know what I mean? You know, like, enough already.

IAN 'DICKO' DICKSON: When she gets her glad rags on

and the maquillage goes on, she's just absolutely stunning.

I think Courtney's really convincing as a girl.

I'm really proud when she's on my arm. Yeah.

"This is my son. Look at that!"

OK, that looks great.

MAN: When Shane is dressed as Courtney,

people open the door for Courtney.

And I know Shane has had some issues in figuring out

why people treat him differently when he's wearing make-up

as opposed to when he's not.

MAN: Then face out to the left.

When I was younger, people would say, like,

"Oh, can you come to our party? But can you come as Courtney?"

And I remember sort of feeling like, "Oh. What's wrong with Shane?"

And there was, like, a dichotomy between Shane and Courtney

and there was an internal argument.

I didn't feel like I suited being a man,

but did I suit being a woman more than being a man,

if they were the only two options?

But neither of them felt right.

But I have learnt that actually, everything is more of a spectrum.

My job is to...be myself.

For the first 17, 18 years of my career,

there was a lot of time to rest,

but the last, sort of, 18 months has been nonstop.

MATT LUCAS: I would say Courtney is huge now,

and I get a lot of brownie points,

because if I ever meet young homosexual gentlemen

and tell them that I've met Courtney Act in real life,

well, it all rubs off onto me.

Who's not confused?

Is anybody not confu... Are you sure you're not confused?

One of the most extraordinary things about Shane's career

is that he came 13th on the first season of Australian Idol

and somehow was able to parlay that into a career

that is still going around the world.

Now, if it's people's identities that you're confused about, I get it.

I mean, I'm confused and I'm elbow deep in identity politics.

Figuratively speaking.

(LAUGHTER)

You're so beguiled by the way Courtney looks,

but then what Courtney says is often quite serious.

I mean, the truth was, I was...

..I was just so confused about this idea of trying to be a real man.

I think in Shane's mind it's not just about fame,

it's not just about money, it's not about recognition.

With that goes responsibility

to help those who don't have a voice.

Be compassionate. Be empathetic.

But most of all, just be yourself.

WOMAN: Love you! Thank you.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

When I was growing up,

I never saw myself reflected in the media in any way.

And I thought, "I can be myself and be visible and tell my story,

"and hopefully other young people out there will feel less isolated."

I grew up in Brisbane, in Brighton, in the '80s.

Very much suburbia.

WOMAN: He was a beautiful boy.

Very happy, very playful, loved singing, loved to dance,

loved to dress up and perform.

1987 - I guess I was five years old -

there was a competition called Tiny Tots

and it was a charity sort of pageant, I suppose, for young kids.

MUM: Oh, his first kiss. DAD: Yeah.

And hey, he's a bit reluctant too, eh?

Maybe that was a clue.

(LAUGHS) Maybe.

And he won!

That was good.

When Shane was about six or seven,

he started coming to the Fame Talent School.

Hello. My name's Lisa. I'm Jessica.

And I'm Shane. And we are... ALL: Yabba Dabba Doo!

# The engine of love... #

DAD: He met the Origliassos, which...now the Veronicas.

You know, we all became pretty close

for the next...10, 12 years, almost like family.

# 'Cause I'm your engine of love... #

SHANE: I loved being able to express myself creatively

and, I suppose, flamboyantly.

I didn't have to be what boys were expected to be at Fame

and no-one ever made me feel like I should.

# Her name was Lola, she was a teacher

# And then she came to Sandgate High back in 1995... #

School, for the most part, I found to be quite stressful

because of bullying or ostracisation by, primarily, the boys.

# He thinks state schools are great... #

And I found that, um... yeah, a real struggle.

Fame Theatre Company really became a safe haven for me to express myself.

We would go away on tours and Shane would raid people's wardrobes,

and it was generally the women's wardrobes.

I definitely had an inkling by the time he was 15, 16 that he was gay.

So, I'm this little boy in suburban Brisbane

and I'm feeling attracted to boys.

And I look at the television, I look at the people that I know,

and I don't see that reflected back at all.

I don't see two guys together anywhere.

And so then you think, "Uh-oh. This is not normal.

"There's something wrong with me.

"Just keep a lid on that."

He was very academic and he did very well in school,

to the point where he was gonna study medicine, and got accepted.

GILL: I always discussed him becoming a doctor or a naturopath.

And it wasn't actually until he was leaving school...

..that he said to me,

"Dad, this doctor stuff's YOUR dream. It's not mine."

He said, "I'd like to be an entertainer."

And I went, "Oh. OK."

My friend Stephanie, who I went to Fame with,

she had moved to Sydney,

and I was going to stay with her for a week.

I think Stephanie knew more about me

than I knew about myself at that point.

STEPHANIE: And so one night I wanted to go to Stonewall

with a bunch of friends, and I invited Shane along.

I had, like, quite a, like,

"Oh, Stonewall? That's not one of those gay bars, is it?"

Like, "I don't know if I want to go there."

We were up on the third level all dancing

and a boy sort of came and started dancing around me

and I was like, "Uh-oh! Uh-oh! People are gonna see! People are gonna see!"

I mean, I was in a gay bar, like, and it was pretty obvious.

We sat down on the couch by the DJ booth

and I had my first kiss with a boy,

and I guess that was the beginning of my big queer life.

Being young and gay in Sydney was something

that was not shared with any of my pre-existing life in Brisbane,

because I was just so fearful of...

..being disowned, being abandoned, being shamed.

I struggled with not telling my parents,

because my family and I are so close.

Mum and Dad were in Sydney and I was planning on coming out to them,

and I was just bawling my eyes out,

and then I texted them, "I am gay,"

and sent it.

You know, it was like, ding!

"Oh, hey. Look at that.

"Shane said he's gay.

"Oh. OK."

And then Mum texted back,

"That's nice, dear. See you at dinner."

And I was like, "What?"

I mean, everyone thought I should have known

but I just...he's just...

..Shane. (LAUGHS) Shane.

Alright, so, this is the wig for today.

Although, I do need to do a bit of tonging on it.

Ben and I met in the year 2000.

He is a Sydney drag queen called Vanity Faire.

She's a bit lumpy here, but...

I'll have to take it apart anyway for tomorrow and redo it.

It looks nice, though. Oh, yeah. Lovely.

There was something so alluring

about the beauty and the femininity that Vanity portrayed,

and that was something that I think genetically also worked well for me.

Can I flick it? Yeah, yeah, totally.

Wow!

I wanted to be called Ginger Le Bon.

And Vanity was like, "Hmm.

"I think maybe you need, like, a cuter, girlier name.

"Like Courtney."

And then I just sort of said it slowly.

I was like, "Courtney. Kind of sounds like 'caught in the'."

I was like, "Oh, Caught in the Act."

And it just stuck.

It just happened instantly and it was the perfect name and the perfect fit.

I remember back in the year 2000 the drag that I saw on Oxford Street

was big and garish and sort of post-Priscilla,

and what I was drawn to was femininity.

BEN: Back in those days as a drag queen, you had to fight your way.

You had to really earn your place.

And so to have a little kid come along and just, you know,

suddenly just be there, was, you know, was...

..for me, you know, a challenge.

I think Ben was a bit like, "Oh, God, here's another one," kind of thing,

and then just saw that I kept doing it, kept doing it,

and was like, "Oh, God, if you're gonna keep doing it

"and you're gonna look like a bastard,

"then I may as well help you with your make-up

"so that you're not an eyesore."

It didn't take Shane long to become a professional drag queen,

like, to start working and start getting paid.

And that's when we really bonded and we became...

..you know, like, I sort of took him under my wing and we became sisters.

Ladies and gentlemen,

the winner of the year 2002 DIVA Rising Star is...

Miss Courtney Act!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I was being, sort of, recognised

as a rising star of the Sydney drag community.

Ladies and gentlemen,

you know, I really had no idea that I had a hope of winning this award.

I... (CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I didn't prep...

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE)

('AUSTRALIAN IDOL' THEME MUSIC)

In 2003, Australian Idol had arrived.

MARCIA: Cool!

We didn't really know what reality TV was.

I didn't really know what it meant, but it was television

and it was performance,

and it seemed like something that I would like.

You weren't up to it. No?

You weren't up to that big finish.

BEN: He auditioned first as Shane and got rejected,

and then came back the next day and auditioned as Courtney and got in.

# I'll, I'll say it again... #

You're great. Thank you.

You look familiar. Do I?

Did you audition yesterday?

I could have possibly auditioned yesterday.

I'm still not clear. Who were you yesterday?

Shane.

I had a peek at that audition the other day, just as a refresher.

She looked terrible!

She looked like an absolute low-rent trollop!

I have to say, Shane only just didn't cut it.

OK.

You've added another dimension and you've blown us away.

Congratulations. See you later. Congratulations.

# He was a fast machine, he kept his motor clean... #

The first TV vote, I didn't make it through,

and then I got brought back for the wild card round

and I didn't make it again.

# I'm young and I love to be young I'm free... #

But then I think the producers saw such value in me

that they kept bringing me back in the competition to do little things.

36-24-36. 10½.

Yes, there you go. What a combo.

(LAUGHS) Which one's the...

Ohhh. Ahhh.

Courtney obviously presented as such a fantastic personality,

a sassy star quality, that the TV just devoured.

She was great for the show.

Oh, look, you're just an amazing performer.

You are. And you still are cute.

I'm just about to go and tell my wife I'm leaving her for you.

TIM: Dicko didn't quite know how to deal with Courtney.

He'd spend half the time flirting with her.

And it injected a lot of fun into the first season of Australian Idol.

MARCIA: Love the outfit. (APPLAUSE)

Dicko's acceptance of me and celebration of me

was absolutely fundamental

in mainstream Australia's acceptance of me,

because he was there, a straight guy on television,

going like, "Nah. That's alright. Hot-lookin' sheila, that is."

And that's all people need so often.

It fosters empathy when other straight guys

see a straight guy acting a certain way.

And that's what leadership is.

BEN: She was like Vegemite back then.

Like, for a small second, while she was on Idol, everyone knew her name.

I remember for a period being sort of having that entitled attitude,

like, "Oh, I've been on television, and I'm this and I'm that,"

and becoming, like, a brat, a bit.

I was living in this fancy apartment with gorgeous views

and got myself into lots of debt

and had to move out of that and...

..sort of, into a share house and whatnot.

GILL: I remember the conversation.

He said, "Dad, I'm not sure that I'm actually gonna make it.

"Maybe I should get a job, you know?"

And I said, "Well, you know, you've survived this long.

"This is the dream. You've just got to stick at it."

And he did.

I went back to doing drag shows on Oxford Street.

And then an opportunity came up to run a nightclub.

Who do you think you're here to see? (CROWD YELLS)

Who?! ALL: Lady Gaga!

(WILD CHEERING)

# No matter gay, straight or bi Lesbian, transgendered life... #

We had celebrities coming, and we had Lady Gaga come and perform.

(WILD CHEERING)

It was like our Studio 54.

TIM DUGGAN: Shane's a performer,

and performers are naturally drawn to the biggest stage they can find.

And for Shane, that stage is a global stage.

I officially moved to LA in August of 2011, with a visa to live and work.

I was there, funding my life off a bank overdraft

in the hopes that I would strike oil.

Which I didn't. The money ran out.

RUPAUL: Next up, Courtney Act.

Oh, my goodness. Heaven must be missing an angel.

STEPHANIE: Shane's big break in the US came

with season six of RuPaul's Drag Race.

Courtney Act.

The illusion is working for me.

A-may-zing.

TIM: RuPaul's Drag Race is a cult TV show that's aired around the world

and features a bunch of drag queens, all competing for a crown.

So, like, in Australia, are you kind of like Natalia Imbruglia famous?

I think because of my lack of drama, they had to create that for me.

And so what I saw play back on television

was very different to what I felt I experienced.

No, and I appreciate you offering me help,

but I can't help but take it as patronising.

Well, I mean, I guess it is a little bit.

TIM: One of the pitfalls of reality TV

is that you have no control at all over how they're going to edit you.

And in Shane's season of RuPaul's Drag Race,

he received the bitch edit, essentially.

He was edited to be catty and put people down and dismissive.

Do you think we didn't deserve to win as a team?

I didn't think that you should have won.

Reality TV is going to take some liberties to create good television,

and Shane would have known that.

You know what? Sometimes it works for you, sometimes it doesn't.

You (BLEEP)!

I think Courtney can sometimes come across as unlikeable.

Go back to Australia!

I just felt humiliated.

And it's amazing the impact that it can have on you.

And, you know, I have parents who love me

and a family and friends who support me.

And even I still found that experience to be such a struggle.

Howdy!

I am secure enough in my heterosexuality to say, wow!

I think one of the most positive things to come out of

RuPaul's Drag Race for Shane was meeting Chaz Bono,

and I really think that was a life-changing experience for him.

Chaz Bono is a trans man, actor, advocate,

also happens to be the son of Sonny and Cher.

When Shane became friends with Chaz, his perception did change a lot.

So Courtney was very much a refuge in that I could find a place

where I could express my femininity and it could be accepted.

Initially that was helpful,

but then over the years it can also become harmful

because there's a compartmentalisation

of your identity.

And so Chaz and I had many, many conversations.

I remember him saying,

"Have you heard of this term 'gender fluid' before?"

And I was like, "No, what's that?"

He said, "Well, it just basically means that you can express

"your femininity and masculinity in any way you want."

And those two words...

..really set me free.

So I think gender fluid now is just this sigh of relief

that you can just be yourself.

It doesn't matter where you fall on what scale,

and what percentage of whatever you are, it doesn't matter.

You're free to be who you are as an individual.

(CHEERING)

Whoa!

WOMAN: Courtney is at this moment in time putting her skirt back on.

So then in January 2018, I got asked to be on Celebrity Big Brother.

I describe myself as a gender queer, pansexual, polyamorous, vegan,

atheist, feminist, blonde Australian.

Celebrity Big Brother in the UK, it's an institution.

It's covered on a daily basis by all the tabloids.

Why is Big Brother still called Big Brother?

Shouldn't it be Big Sister?

I had so many qualms about doing Celebrity Big Brother

because of my Drag Race experience.

But the thing that made me bad television on Drag Race

was the thing that made me good television on Celebrity Big Brother.

It was a big thing for Shane

because he was gonna spend some of the time as Shane

and some of the time as Courtney.

I have no dysphoria, I have no uncomfortability with my body.

You were born Shane, you will die Shane, you will live Shane.

Courtney is an act. More than an act.

She's part of my gender expression. OK, yeah.

There's so much air time to fill, I was allowed to just talk.

This is not me being the jealous girlfriend.

The dynamic in the house on Big Brother was quite...

..was quite extreme, because, you know, on one hand you had Shane,

and then, on the other hand, you've got people like Ann Widdecombe.

So, let's start with marriage equality.

Well, you call it marriage equality.

I call it the redefinition of marriage.

Ann Widdecombe is a conservative MP

known for very conservative-leaning views.

Well, marriage has been redefined many times throughout history.

You used to never be able to get divorced.

Marriage is a civil institution that is defined by parliament.

If people want to change that,

I've got to be persuaded that it's a good idea, and I'm not.

The very first conversation we had, she was like, "Thank you for that.

"Normally, someone would have called me a homophobe or raised their voice

"or stormed out or thrown something, and you didn't.

"You just listened and we just talked."

And she was shocked by that gesture.

And I'm sure it wasn't what the producers were expecting,

but I think it was gold.

I think it was even better than a faux fight or something,

a bit of reality TV biff.

I know that I've brought lots of deep or heavy conversations to you.

But I do appreciate you being so respectful

and willing to have those conversations.

Oh, that's very kind of you.

If you picture two people on either side of the room

yelling at each other, screaming at the top of their lungs,

not much gets communicated.

And I feel that's where the world is at.

I feel if we walk towards the middle,

we lower the tone and we talk to each other

and we listen to what the other person is saying,

that's the way we change.

That's the way we evolve.

I don't think anyone would have imagined that it would be

Courtney Act and Ann Widdecombe locked in a house together

at the end.

And the winner of Celebrity Big Brother is...

..Courtney!

(CHEERING)

Courtney, you are our winner!

There's no way I would have thought that Courtney would have won

when I saw the original line-up,

because there were higher-profile people in the UK

who were in that house.

But...Courtney just won us all over.

All of a sudden Shane is famous

and can't walk down the street in the UK,

either as Shane or as Courtney.

More than being a winner, I came out of the house having a voice

and people being interested in that voice.

And it was so empowering and so exciting

to no longer just be a sideshow act.

It was validating,

and part of me wishes that I was a stronger person

that I didn't need that external validation to feel good about myself.

But ultimately, I did.

OK, here we go. Everyone good?

Thanks, mate.

And, action.

I think Shane's stints overseas were huge for him.

But I think the most important thing was for him to be accepted and loved

and embraced by his home country.

So much of a handful. Works fine for me.

There has been no same-sex partnership on Dancing With The Stars

in the Anglosphere, and so when they approached me

to do it as Courtney, I was really excited.

MOIR: It's not sexualised, it's not sensationalised,

it's just two men dancing, on television,

on family television, at prime time.

# Girls that wore pink, boys that wore blue

# Boys that always grew up better men than me and you... #

Week three of Dancing With The Stars was Memorable Moments

where everybody gets to sort of tell some story

that's extremely emotional or conveys emotion, good or bad.

GILL: We knew something was going to happen.

He didn't tell us exactly what.

So when it happened, we went like, "Wow", you know.

Yeah, this is who he is.

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I could see by his face, that's what made me quite emotional,

'cause I could see that this was really genuine

and really confronting for him to do as well as a performer.

Why did you want us to meet Shane?

Um...oh, gosh.

Like, I've been doing Courtney for 19 years

and it was actually only five years ago

where I let go of the shame of being a feminine boy.

I remember sitting there with my wife

and we're both almost in tears going,

"How far have we come? That's amazing, isn't it?"

It was so powerful. It was so...I loved it.

I'm lost for words. I'm so sorry, but I thought it was great.

That's a big moment on Australian television,

to have that transformation take place.

You have just inspired millions of people,

whether they are gender fluid or not,

to be themself and to own who they are.

He ended up coming second in the show, he did amazingly well.

So I think for him it was almost an emotional homecoming to Australia,

and a way for them to see him in a new light.

# Neighbours... #

I left the Mardi Gras party and I went home to bed,

flew down to Melbourne last night and now I'm ready for my close-up.

I hope.

So I've filmed a storyline in Neighbours as Shane and as Courtney.

Not as a character, but rather as myself.

Good to go? Good to go.

Come with me, thank you.

Do you need a jacket?

We've got a jacket standing by, yep.

Neighbours is informing middle Australia that queer identity is OK.

Mark it. And action.

You're quite an icon in the LBGD... I said it wrong after all that!

I actually think it's kind of cute if you say it wrong.

In a weird way.

I think it's a credit to Neighbours

to actually bring Courtney and Shane.

Because that's the reality of life.

It's really, it's really how we live.

That's life.

A bit like Cher, really.

Yeah, I reckon my style's a bit different to hers.

WOMAN: People who are part of that community

need to see themselves on TV.

And I think what's great about this story and having Courtney

is that she brings so much joy and happiness and energy.

I give you Courtney Act!

You can have all the Mardi Gras you want,

but if no straight people are coming,

it's only an internal memo that goes out.

You need straight allies to accept queer people as well

to take it to the mainstream.

Oh, wow.

For years, I was trying to work out what was wrong with me.

And I now realise there was nothing wrong with me,

it was actually the system of description that was broken.

Was it fun?

Stressful. Stressful?

I've constantly anticipated negativity,

whether it was coming out to my parents,

whether it was Australian Idol, being on Big Brother.

And it just has never seemed to come true.

I love you, Mummy.

I just can't understand why parents can't just love their children

for who they are, you know, regardless of what they do.

I mean, it's just what you do. They're your children.

So you want us to wake you early in the morning?

Well...

Being queer or being straight or being bi or being trans

or being gender fluid or whatever,

they're not choices - they're intrinsically who people are.

The choice is to DENY who you are. That's the choice.

Shane, just bring your face around to me there.

I think she's beautiful, she's smart, she's showbiz,

and we need it.

Really nice. Oh, beautiful.

I love what he does. I'm as proud as hell.

I love it. I'm very proud of him.

Yeah.

# Living in the middle in between

# Never really knowing how I'm seen

# I don't even know which way I'm turning

# Living in the middle, who I see

# It's not the only person I could be

# But I know for now I'm on a journey

# I'm in between

# I'm in between... #

Captions by Red Bee Media

Copyright Australian Broadcasting Corporation