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Mommy!

Mommy!

Amanda.

You say you've been thinking about death lately.

Would you care to elaborate?

Death, yes.

And...

And?

I've stopped praying.

I used to.

Every day.

But not anymore.

And why do you think that is?

I've been taught to believe that God has a plan

for all of us, that he works in mysterious ways.

But it's really not in my control is it?

And if God has a plan...

Then prayer loses its purpose?

Exactly.

It's out of my control.

And Sarah's death?

Do you think that was also a part of God's plan?

Well it wasn't part of mine.

Amanda!

Well, I think that's about it.

You about ready to hit the road?

Sure.

Give the person a piece of ourselves.

Then one day for whatever reason,

that person will go somewhere we can never follow.

You know I can't wait for you to finally see it.

I really think this is gonna be the change

we've been needing.

Amanda.

Yeah.

Sarah?

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah, Sarah!

Come on, Sarah!

Sarah!

Sarah!

It's so different.

Good.

That's good.

There's already furniture.

Yeah, I told you, the place is completely furnished.

Living room, dining room, both bedrooms.

You know I was thinking we could turn

that spare bedroom into storage, maybe an office

so I can work more from home,

avoid that commute as much as possible.

But yeah.

Beds, couch, kitchen table, we have everything we need.

And whatever isn't here we brought along with us.

This, this all belonged to someone else.

None of this is ours.

It is ours.

This is our home.

These are our things.

Look, sweetie, this is what I was talking about.

A fresh start, a new life, a second chance.

This is it.

It's all here, right in front of us.

Look, I know it's going to take some time getting used to,

but I promise this is the best thing for you,

the best thing for both of us.

Okay.

Tell you what, I'm gonna start unloading some stuff.

Why don't you just take a look around

and get to know the place a little bit?

Sure.

Okay.

Amanda.

Sweetie.

We're gonna be happy here, okay?

I promise.

I believe you.

Good.

I love you.

I love you too.

Ow!

Jesus, Jesus!

Oh my God!

I'm so sorry!

I'm so sorry!

What the hell are you doing?

God dammit!

Are you okay?

Are you okay?

No it's fine.

I'm fine.

It was probably my fault.

I'm sorry.

No it's fine.

I shouldn't have.

Don't worry about it.

Jack?

Jack?

Where are you?

Sarah?

Sarah!

There are moments when I stand at this pulpit

and I am silent because what can I possibly say

in times of profound loss

that mean anything more than a platitude.

Moments of great loss that...

Unsure of how to continue.

Though we struggle on.

We are never quite the same.

Honey, can you get that?

As a man of God, I'm blessed

with the burden of a shepherd to guide those

to follow my example through the most trying experiences

of their lives.

There is no experience so devastating.

Oh hi!

Hi!

Who are you?

Oh, um, I'm Dawn.

It's really nice to meet you.

I just live a little ways down the street,

and I saw that we had new neighbors moving in

so I thought I'd come by and say hi.

You know, welcome you to the neighborhood.

Hm.

I know, I know.

It probably a little old fashioned,

but I guess country girl roots don't die easy.

I'm guessing you're, um, not a country girl.

How can you tell?

Hi.

Uh, who's this?

This is...

Oh hi.

I'm Dawn.

Dawn.

I'm Jack, I see you've already met Amanda here.

Um, pleasure to meet you.

Oh, it's really nice to meet you too.

Oh, manners.

Can I get this for you?

Oh, yeah.

Thank you, thank you.

This is great.

Well, I'm just gonna go set this down

and take a look at this stuff.

Okay.

You said you live close by?

Oh yeah.

Just down the road a little ways.

But not close enough

that you would have noticed us.

Remember, love is it not beautiful

because it is eternal.

Hey honey she got us some wine.

That's nice, isn't it?

And cheese!

Um, thanks.

Um, I need to finish getting ready.

Gonna head to the store and stock this place up.

Uh, tell you what.

In the interest of getting to know our neighbors better,

why don't you come over for dinner some time?

I mean, when we get settled in some more.

Yeah, yeah.

I mean, I would love that.

Just let me know when.

Okay.

We will.

Well it was nice to meet you, Dawn.

Nice to meet you too.

You're pretty.

Oh thank you.

Thank you so much.

You are too.

You're just his type you know.

I'm sorry?

Young.

Pretty.

So, so pretty.

Reminds him of missed opportunities I think.

I'm sorry if that was rude.

It's not your fault.

Just do yourself a favor.

Don't go and let him make you feel special.

Trust me.

It's for the best.

Well it was really nice to meet you. Dawn.

I look forward to having you for dinner soon.

♪ You are my sunshine, my sunshine ♪

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sunshine, my sunshine

♪ My sun

No.

No.

Stop!

Not my baby!

Don't cry mommy.

Jack!

Jack!

I'm home!

Honey?

Amanda?

Sweetie?

Amanda?

Jack?

Jack!

Jack Jack Jack!

Hey, sweetie.

It's okay.

Are you okay?

Will you talk to me?

It's just, I'm having a difficult time

understanding exactly what happened.

Amanda.

Amanda!

Honey, I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just, I need to know what happened.

I need to know what's going on with you.

I don't want to be here anymore.

We've only been here a few days.

You haven't even given it a chance.

You don't understand.

There's something wrong with this place.

There's something wrong here.

There's something happening to me.

I think you're just fine.

You don't understand.

I saw her.

You saw who?

Sarah.

I saw Sarah.

You what?

I saw her.

Amanda, that's not possible.

I know what you're thinking,

and I know it sounds crazy, but I'm telling you I saw her.

As clear as I'm seeing you now.

Amanda...

Yeah.

She's here, Jack, and I don't know how...

Amanda stop.

She is.

I saw her she's here.

Amanda, stop!

Just stop, okay?

Please just stop.

Jack.

Do you, do you know,

do you know how fucking crazy that sounds?

Look at me, Amanda!

Sarah is dead.

Okay?

She's gone.

You don't think I know that?

I watched her die.

Do you remember that?

Or did you forget.

I watched her die.

And where were you?

No!

You do not get to walk away from me.

Not this time.

Come back!

Don't!

Where were you, huh?

I know you remember so answer the fucking question!

Of course.

Of course you can't.

Because you're fucking pathetic.

You're a coward.

You're weak!

Amanda...

Shut up, shut up.

God.

You don't want to answer the question?

Fine.

I will answer if for you.

You were with somebody else.

You were out fucking another woman the night our baby died!

She died!

You left me here all alone and she died

and you weren't here.

You weren't here and she's gone

because you're a selfish fucking asshole!

She's gone and she's, no.

Don't touch me.

Don't touch me, just let go of me, don't touch me.

Why?

Why?

Why did she have to die?

She was sick, sweetie.

She was getting better.

She was getting better.

She wasn't.

I thought she was too but she clearly wasn't.

No.

Why?

Why?

Jack?

Hey hey hey!

Amanda, it's okay!

Hey, hey, hey, hey!

Hey, hey, hey.

Amanda, it's okay!

You were just having a bad dream, okay?

That's all.

It's okay.

You don't believe me.

What?

About anything.

You don't believe me.

It's not that, it's...

Tell me the truth.

It's...

Tell me the truth!

Have,

have you been taking your medication?

Hey.

Look at me.

Have you?

You think I'm crazy.

Amanda, I don't think that you're crazy.

Yes.

♪ You think I'm crazy

♪ You think I'm crazy

♪ You think I'm crazy

I'm pregnant.

You're what?

I'm pregnant.

What's wrong?

This is good news.

No.

No, it's not!

There is nothing

I want less in this world

than to have another child with you.

What's going on?

I'll takee another.

All right.

Here you go.

Thanks.

Hey!

Hey, um, Dawn, right?

Yeah.

Yeah.

From the other morning.

Um, may I?

Yeah, please.

So,

what are you doing here?

Relaxing I guess.

Oh yeah?

You don't look very relaxed.

You know, I haven't had one of these in years.

Kinda kicked the habit when Amanda and I got married.

We both did.

Well, we were both supposed to but I guess it was just me.

You know, every now and again I buy a pack,

kinda a just in case sorta thing.

I like the feeling of resisting temptation.

It makes me feel okay, like I'm accomplishing something.

I'd almost completely forgotten how good it feels,

the first drag, the way it hits.

Especially if it's been awhile.

Sends tingles through your entire body.

Wow.

Um,

are you okay?

What are you doing here all by yourself?

Oh I'm not.

I have some friends back there.

We were actually just about to leave

and I saw you over here.

I'm glad that you did.

God you look beautiful.

You're sweet.

And drunk.

Me?

No, I'm okay.

Hey Dawn are you coming?

Um...

I'd love it if you want to stay

and have a drink with me.

Um.

Uh, yeah.

Yeah, sure.

Okay.

Yeah?

Yeah.

Okay!

So you had really never been with anybody

before you met her?

Nope.

She was my first.

Wow.

And it was the same for her too, I imagine?

Well, we were both raised pretty religious and, you know.

I don't, know.

God, I must sound like a drag.

No, not at all.

I think it sounds nice.

Well, thanks.

But, really though, you're married.

You have this whole life.

It can't all be bad right?

What's that like?

It's kinda difficult to explain.

Try.

Okay.

Um.

Well, it's not unlike being in any other relationship,

not at first anyway.

But then you quickly realize it is.

It absolutely is.

It took me a while to figure out

exactly what changes the moment you enter into it

but I think I figured it out.

All right, so after all this time of being together,

you get married.

Okay?

And it's like everything is beginning all over again.

It's the start of something completely new.

It's like when we first met,

or when we went on our first date, or had our first kiss.

Everything just felt fresh for a second time.

And, well, at the moment marriage

just seemed like a good idea.

We were both ready to take that next big step,

with ourselves, with God.

And, like most prospects that seem good at first, it is.

It absolutely is.

You find yourself in this perfect,

somewhat surreal state of bliss.

And you're saying to yourself "I have a wife now.

"I'm somebody's husband."

It's difficult to explain the sensation I felt,

like when it was new.

It was extraordinary.

Then, like most things that seem so good at first,

eventually the magic of something new

and exciting just tends to fade after time.

I mean, it can take days or weeks

or months or years but it eventually fades.

It always fades.

That's so sad.

But I completely get what you mean though.

It's beautiful, isn't it?

To have ever felt something that deeply.

Even if it didn't work out the way you planned it to,

necessarily, I don't think that a lot

of people ever get that.

What do you think about them?

Complacency.

Or maybe they just got lucky.

So, so it happens then.

Maybe it does.

Maybe.

Um, would you like to dance with me?

Yeah.

That sounds nice.

♪ Let it burn

♪ Don't you let it go

♪ No we can't

♪ Let's wreak chaos tonight

I can't.

This is wrong.

I can't do this.

What?

You're married, you're married.

I can't do this.

I'm sorry, I have to go.

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry, I'm sorry.

Hey!

Hey.

I'm sorry, okay?

I like you.

I really do.

I think that you're great.

It's just, I can't do this.

You have a wife.

I know.

I know, I'm sorry.

I shouldn't have.

No.

It's fine.

It's fine.

God dammit!

I don't know what I was thinking.

I rode here with my friends.

Listen, I can give you a ride home if you want.

No.

You really don't have to do that, okay?

No please.

It's fine.

I kinda owe it to you, yeah?

Look, just, I can give you a ride home and that's it, okay?

Nothing else.

Okay, okay, okay.

Nothing else.

♪ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine ♪

♪ You make me happy when skies are gray ♪

♪ You'll never know dear, how much I love you ♪

♪ Please don't take my sunshine away ♪

This is a nice place.

It was my mom's.

Yeah.

Hey, I'm sorry again.

I didn't know what I was doing.

No, no, it's fine.

Really.

Okay, then.

Well, you have a nice night.

You have a nice night too, okay?

Where were you?

I needed a drink, and

I needed to think, so...

Did you find what you were looking for in your thoughts?

Will you please sit down?

So, you're pregnant.

Don't.

We can talk about that later.

I'm sorry, Jack.

The things I said,

I was angry.

And I was scared.

I meant it when I said I was scared.

And I meant it when I said there

is something wrong with this place.

You don't have to believe me but I can feel it.

And I'm not gonna lie to you and tell you

everything is okay when it's not.

You probably think I'm crazy, but...

Amanda, I don't think you're crazy.

I think, you know, maybe you're stressed

and nobody can blame you for that.

We both are...

It doesn't matter.

That's not what I wanted to say.

What I want to say, it's,

I don't really know how to say it so I'm gonna

do my best and hope that you understand.

Okay.

You brought us to this place so we could get better.

So we can fix things.

But nothing feels different.

And I have to tell you, truthfully,

I don't know if it ever will.

I don't know if we can get better, Jack.

All of this, everything that's happened,

it's just too much.

And I don't know if we can fix it.

And I can't speak for you,

but I don't,

I don't know if,

I don't know if I can ever be happy again.

Truly happy.

And that may be something that you have to live with.

If you choose to live with it.

I do love you.

And I know you're trying.

Because of that I'm gonna try too.

That is my promise to you.

Because I am tired, and I don't know what else to do.

So I'm gonna try.

But not tonight.

I'm tired, and I want to go to bed,

and I would like it if you didn't try to come with me.

Not tonight.

Okay.

That's, um, that's fine.

I love you, Jack.

Hey.

Are you okay?

I, uh...

Jack?

May I,

may I come in please.

Um, yeah.

Sure.

Come in.

Are you okay?

Why?

You're shaking.

I, uh,

I needed to see you.

Why?

I just, I had to.

I'm not sorry for kissing you.

I'm not.

Sorry.

Maybe you should go.

Wait!

Listen.

Listen to me.

I don't, I don't know what's going on right now, okay?

I don't know what's happening to me.

I mean, I don't even know you.

Right?

We just met and already I feel this connection to you.

Right?

I have felt nothing for so long now and I met you,

and instantly I,

you probably think I'm crazy.

I don't.

From the moment I met you

I haven't been able to get you out of my mind.

I can't stop thinking about you.

Me too.

Listen, maybe this is wrong,

but I need to know if this, right here, is real.

I have to know.

Don't you wanna know, too?

Who are you?

Who are you?

What do you want?

What do you want?

Hi.

Hi.

May I come in?

Yes.

I've been thinking and...

You have?

Yeah, about us.

And?

I'm not sure.

Where's your wife?

She's...

I don't know.

Do you love her?

I don't know.

Do you love me?

Okay.

I can't stop thinking about you.

I know.

Me too.

I want you, Jack.

Do you want me?

Yes.

Then have me.

Hey!

Hey.

Good morning.

You too!

Why don't you go ahead and sit down?

I'm making breakfast.

Everything okay?

Everything is wonderful, Jack.

Sit down.

Amanda...

Yes?

I need to talk to you.

About what?

I, um...

What is it?

Last night, I...

Wherever you were, I don't care.

Why?

Because it doesn't matter, does it?

You're here now.

I just wanted to have a nice morning.

I'm sorry, Jack.

I really am.

I'm so sorry.

It's okay.

No.

It's not.

You've been trying so hard.

And I just, I keep...

Listen, you don't have to say anything right now.

I know.

I know.

I want to.

I want to be okay.

With you.

With everything.

It's just, it's just so hard.

I know.

I've been acting so crazy lately.

Amanda...

No, really, I have.

I have, and you've been so understanding.

I don't think anybody else would have been

in this situation.

You're so good to me, and I know that.

I love you, Jack.

I love you so much.

I'm ready to move forward.

I want to be your wife again.

I want us to be happy again.

I want us to feel like we used to.

Do you remember?

Yeah.

I want to be with you.

Amanda...

Hey you.

Mommy.

How are you feeling?

Better.

I'm sorry I woke you up.

It's okay, sweetie.

Where's daddy?

He's not here.

He really wanted to be.

It's okay.

Oh sweetie, are you okay?

It hurts still.

Sometimes.

Oh sweetheart.

I love you, Sarah.

You know that?

You know how much I love you?

You know?

Don't cry, mommy.

God, baby, if I could,

if I could take this pain away from you,

I would take it all away and I would feel it for you.

You know that?

Oh, baby.

Why don't you close your eyes and try

to get some sleep, okay?

I love you, mommy.

I love you too, Sarah.

♪ You are my sunshine, my only sunshine ♪

♪ You make me happy when skies are gray ♪

♪ You'll never know, dear, how much I love you ♪

♪ Please don't take my sunshine away ♪

♪ You are my sunshine

♪ My only sunshine

♪ You make me happy when skies are gray ♪

Sarah!

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