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A MAREK KOTE RSKI FILM
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DIRECTOR OF PHOTOGRAPHY
JERZYZIELIN'SKl
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She signals right, turns left.
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00:01:42,880 --> 00:01:45,724
- Soon she'll turn right.
- Will she?
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00:01:46,080 --> 00:01:48,208
- For sure.
- Careful, a chick.
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00:01:49,600 --> 00:01:51,204
Fucking hell!
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00:02:01,800 --> 00:02:04,326
I told you, it's a chick.
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00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:08,769
How did you know?
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00:02:09,400 --> 00:02:11,846
I can sense them from a distance.
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No need to see them.
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00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:21,720
Fuck.
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00:02:22,920 --> 00:02:24,490
What's that?
13
00:02:26,240 --> 00:02:27,651
What?
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00:02:28,480 --> 00:02:31,324
These chicks are just
- ...different.
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00:02:31,520 --> 00:02:34,888
They arejust different.
Fuck me dead, they are.
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00:02:35,240 --> 00:02:40,087
CHICKS ARE JUST DIFFERENT
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00:02:40,240 --> 00:02:42,129
Chick will always go left,
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00:02:42,320 --> 00:02:45,961
when you come towards them on bike
or on foot. Let's say, if only.
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00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:49,926
I go to my left, and she goes
to the right, which is my left.
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00:02:50,080 --> 00:02:54,642
Then I try to go right but she also
- "Tick" - goes in the same direction.
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00:02:54,800 --> 00:02:58,247
And we go "tick-tick" on the pavement
like two metronomes.
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00:02:58,440 --> 00:03:01,284
I go right, she goes right,
I - left, she - left.
23
00:03:01,480 --> 00:03:03,687
Fucking "tick-tick".
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00:03:04,240 --> 00:03:07,528
- She'll always go left.
So you know what to hold on to
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00:03:07,760 --> 00:03:10,969
But once in a while
she'll go fucking right
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00:03:13,640 --> 00:03:16,849
The same with the pedestrian
crossing when she drives up.
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00:03:17,080 --> 00:03:19,651
I never know if I can cross.
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00:03:19,840 --> 00:03:22,411
I go, she drives.
I stop, she stops.
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00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:25,444
I move, she does too,
straight at me, so I dodge.
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00:03:25,600 --> 00:03:29,685
And she smiles apologetically,
as if she demands fucking special care.
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00:03:32,120 --> 00:03:34,600
Sometimes they backup
at the crossing.
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00:03:34,800 --> 00:03:38,725
Instead of going forward like normal
human beings should. Just forget it.
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00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:41,127
I once nailed such a chick.
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00:03:41,360 --> 00:03:42,930
Did you';
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00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:46,331
- Was she any good?
- Any good?
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00:03:46,520 --> 00:03:49,205
I knocked her down on the crossing
- Wow!
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00:03:49,400 --> 00:03:51,323
With my bumper.
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00:03:52,200 --> 00:03:53,565
Nailed her.
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00:03:54,080 --> 00:03:56,481
Suddenly she started
walking backwards.
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00:03:56,720 --> 00:03:58,210
How'?
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00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:02,242
- Pull over.
- No need.
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00:04:02,440 --> 00:04:06,286
She almost crossed the street
so I stepped on the gas
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00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,087
- and she saw a Zuk and started
to run back. -AZuk?
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00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:13,250
Old van, coming
from the opposite direction.
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00:04:13,440 --> 00:04:16,728
And I nailed her.
She's on the ground, ljump out...
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00:04:16,880 --> 00:04:19,326
and I forget what I fucking look like
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00:04:19,560 --> 00:04:23,246
Long hair, red bell-bottoms, so wide
that her feet are hidden in them.
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00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:27,291
When the guy who was riding with me
saw this and the people around...
49
00:04:27,440 --> 00:04:30,250
hejust moaned: "lynch-law"!
50
00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,807
A policeman comes over
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00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:40,607
"H ave you been drinking?"
She opens her eye and snivels:
52
00:04:40,800 --> 00:04:44,646
"It's my fault". This saved me.
But chicks will always back up.
53
00:04:44,840 --> 00:04:47,684
It's sure as hell she'll backup.
54
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:55,891
Why are they so deft, that instead of
going right, they go left?
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00:04:56,120 --> 00:04:58,964
And instead of forward
they always go back?
56
00:05:07,720 --> 00:05:10,690
She hands the hanger the opposite way.
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00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:16,405
She'll hang yourjacket in the closet
in such a way that it gets...
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00:05:16,600 --> 00:05:18,250
baggy here.
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00:05:20,080 --> 00:05:22,606
They are wrong in their heads.
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00:05:24,120 --> 00:05:27,169
Women's and men's brains
differ at first glance.
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00:05:27,320 --> 00:05:28,446
I knew that.
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00:05:28,680 --> 00:05:31,684
You can recognize sex
by only looking at this organ.
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00:05:31,880 --> 00:05:33,928
I guess not only by that.
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00:05:34,120 --> 00:05:37,090
A man's brain is by 10% bigger.
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00:05:37,280 --> 00:05:38,930
I'm sure of that.
66
00:05:39,120 --> 00:05:43,887
Although both men and women
have the same number of brain cells.
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00:05:44,320 --> 00:05:47,642
Women have them
more tightly packed
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00:05:47,880 --> 00:05:50,167
into a smaller skull.
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00:05:51,440 --> 00:05:53,568
That explains everything.
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00:05:53,760 --> 00:05:58,846
They get corns on their brains
in these smaller scales, skills...
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00:05:59,640 --> 00:06:01,768
skulls.
Fuck it, anyway.
72
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,527
Women say 20 thousand words
every day.
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00:06:11,680 --> 00:06:14,206
My wife says 40 thousand words.
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00:06:15,080 --> 00:06:17,481
And men sayjust 7000 words per day.
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00:06:17,720 --> 00:06:19,802
I sayjust 8 words:
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00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,721
"um", "yeah", lllaterllm
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00:06:23,920 --> 00:06:26,446
"don't know", and "be back later".
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00:06:26,640 --> 00:06:29,803
But professor's Mehl's
latest research proves,
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00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:33,925
that both men and women say
the same number of words every day.
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00:06:34,160 --> 00:06:36,686
This professor wasn't
at my place.
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00:06:36,840 --> 00:06:41,402
The women participating in the test
were saying 16,215 words,
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00:06:41,600 --> 00:06:45,241
and men - 15,669 words.
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00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:46,842
Still!
84
00:06:47,080 --> 00:06:52,120
So the difference was not
13 thousand words, but only 546.
85
00:06:52,320 --> 00:06:56,928
But what words? 546 of the most stupid
and most irritating words. Most.
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00:07:02,880 --> 00:07:07,249
"What is this flood of words that is
coming out of her words about?"
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00:07:08,160 --> 00:07:09,924
Her man is wondering.
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00:07:11,080 --> 00:07:15,404
"Why isn't he listening to me
and answering only in monosyllables?"
89
00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:18,328
Woman is complaining.
90
00:07:18,600 --> 00:07:22,889
Meanwhile the professor claims
that women are brought up to talk
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00:07:24,080 --> 00:07:26,686
ls something wrong with being silent?
92
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,080
Have you ever gone with a woman
for a walk?
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00:07:32,240 --> 00:07:34,402
- I did once.
- And?
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00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:38,366
Did you walk in silence,
did you take in nature?
95
00:07:39,560 --> 00:07:42,484
"The sun is so golden,
the sky is so blue".
96
00:07:42,680 --> 00:07:44,682
"The trees are so green".
97
00:07:44,880 --> 00:07:49,283
I can hear only her, as if she was
walking out a blind man.
98
00:07:55,640 --> 00:07:58,371
She can't remember
not to speak in the morning.
99
00:07:58,560 --> 00:08:02,804
- Till noon at least.
- She won't respect my nap time.
100
00:08:03,080 --> 00:08:05,128
With afternoon coffee or...
101
00:08:05,360 --> 00:08:08,523
It's so important that nobody
speaks to me for 15 minutes.
102
00:08:08,720 --> 00:08:13,044
Then I get focused, calm,
ready to face the rest of the day.
103
00:08:13,240 --> 00:08:16,881
After the last sip, I take a deep
breath through the nose.
104
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:22,129
And when I have to answer
questions, then I'm like doped
105
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:26,370
I start trembling, my face is burning,
I need to cool it. With cold water.
106
00:08:26,560 --> 00:08:30,360
They need to speak when you watch
sport's news or read a paper.
107
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,530
She always steals it
when I want to read it
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00:08:33,680 --> 00:08:36,445
- Shejust peruses it.
- Tells me the best pieces.
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00:08:36,560 --> 00:08:39,245
Just the headlines and random lines.
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00:08:39,440 --> 00:08:41,681
And the paper's flapping like a sail
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00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,571
She reads it all out
and I don't know what to read
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00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:45,926
Sheesh. Sheesh.
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00:08:48,840 --> 00:08:52,845
- What's this honking?
- Fucking chick for sure.
114
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:02,366
- And if two of them get together...
- Their brains have more gray matter.
115
00:09:02,560 --> 00:09:05,928
- And the cell connections...
- You mean cell phone.
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00:09:06,120 --> 00:09:08,566
Are more numerous and complex.
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00:09:08,800 --> 00:09:11,929
So nature itself is against
our communication with them...
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00:09:12,160 --> 00:09:14,891
- Mine went to the doctor in England.
- That far?
119
00:09:15,080 --> 00:09:18,050
She wanted to see her Polish doctor
as well.
120
00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:23,326
So I tell her to practise hospital
situations during her English lessons.
121
00:09:23,520 --> 00:09:26,729
So that she's able to say
where she feels pain.
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00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:30,681
Or to ask for clean sheets. And not
to mispronounce "sheet" for "shit".
123
00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,049
Or where the toilet is.
So she says "Where is the toilet"
124
00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:37,562
I ask her why she tells me that.
"Because I know“ she answers"
125
00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:41,645
But I'm not asking if she knows that.
It's just worth knowing generally.
126
00:09:41,840 --> 00:09:45,811
What can I say! Only suicidal men
embark on discussions with women.
127
00:09:45,960 --> 00:09:48,531
And they get on with one another
really well.
128
00:09:48,720 --> 00:09:51,803
Marianne Legato says:
"Women are better at speaking".
129
00:09:52,080 --> 00:09:54,242
- So it's clear.
- They love conversing.
130
00:09:54,400 --> 00:09:58,041
- Jabbering.
- This way they strengthen the bonds.
131
00:09:58,320 --> 00:10:01,529
They don't talk.
They call, squeal, yodel, howl.
132
00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:04,405
They shout even while standing
2 feet away.
133
00:10:04,600 --> 00:10:08,286
- Ouarrelling.
- Not at all. They shout out stories.
134
00:10:09,680 --> 00:10:12,923
Once two women stood under my window
Their usual place.
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00:10:13,160 --> 00:10:17,609
I was to write something. Fucking hell!
They stood for one hour shouting.
136
00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:21,925
I closed the windows, put earplugs in my
ears. And still fucking heard them!
137
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,885
And they were shouting
how their grandchildren
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00:10:25,080 --> 00:10:27,447
are fucking sweet while sleeping
139
00:10:34,720 --> 00:10:37,769
And these women on Tv.
Howfast they speak.
140
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:41,808
I don't get what these Tv-chicks
chatter away about.
141
00:10:42,080 --> 00:10:45,641
They are even faster on the radio.
It's like spin-drying.
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00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:50,802
Everywhere you're haunted by mouthy
hags, who went narcissistic
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00:10:51,080 --> 00:10:53,526
and are in love with their talking.
144
00:11:04,200 --> 00:11:06,282
When freedom came...
145
00:11:06,480 --> 00:11:09,962
they started talking on Tv
about the media service.
146
00:11:10,160 --> 00:11:13,482
Like the BBC - as an example,
about its role as servants.
147
00:11:13,680 --> 00:11:17,401
And what are they doing now
when on air? Wh ere are these servants?
148
00:11:17,600 --> 00:11:20,683
- All stars.
- More important than their guests,
149
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,291
than the news.
150
00:11:22,480 --> 00:11:25,768
There's more of her lip gloss,
make-up, neckline and showing off
151
00:11:25,960 --> 00:11:28,531
than the message you get,
hear and understand.
152
00:11:28,760 --> 00:11:30,285
The Botox Lip Club.
153
00:11:30,480 --> 00:11:33,450
One looks like she has a corncob
stuck in her ass.
154
00:11:33,680 --> 00:11:36,047
She settles herself:
Up and down all the time.
155
00:11:36,160 --> 00:11:38,731
- I really feel like...
- Their hungry ego.
156
00:11:38,920 --> 00:11:40,604
Not fucked enough.
157
00:11:40,800 --> 00:11:45,169
Or she flaps her elbow while talking
as if she was playing the bagpipes.
158
00:11:47,080 --> 00:11:50,448
Preening, posing,
like a model on the catwalk.
159
00:11:50,640 --> 00:11:53,291
It's enough she's not leading a horse.
160
00:11:53,960 --> 00:11:58,045
When she glides towards me,
I can feel that all she thinks about is
161
00:11:58,240 --> 00:12:01,642
looking good, keeping the pace,
and not falling on the camera.
162
00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,888
No place for the fucking news.
163
00:12:09,680 --> 00:12:13,048
- And their double surnames?
- Good they're not triple.
164
00:12:13,240 --> 00:12:17,040
Soon they will be. Collecting us
like stamps or butterflies.
165
00:12:17,520 --> 00:12:20,205
So far they go with double ones,
like mutants.
166
00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,041
Good evening, ladies and gentlemen,
167
00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:26,124
I'm Ewelina Celina
Snitchwitchsnitchwitch-Snot.
168
00:12:26,280 --> 00:12:28,726
Here's The Crap News.
169
00:12:28,880 --> 00:12:33,408
Parliamentary session on "Women's
right to less work and better pay".
170
00:12:33,600 --> 00:12:38,447
Our reporter from the Seym: Katarzyna
Maryna Pastorale-Trzemeszno.
171
00:12:38,960 --> 00:12:40,610
Trzemeszno is a town.
172
00:12:40,800 --> 00:12:43,406
Here's Katarzyna Maryna
Pastorale-Trzemeszno.
173
00:12:43,560 --> 00:12:45,528
Trzemeszno is a town, for sure.
174
00:12:45,720 --> 00:12:48,200
So, Katarzyna Maryna
Pastorale-Trzemeszno,
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00:12:48,360 --> 00:12:51,204
it's Ewelina Celina
Snitchwitchsnitchwitch-Snot.
176
00:12:51,400 --> 00:12:54,529
Tell us, what important
is going on at the Seym
177
00:12:56,800 --> 00:13:01,089
Good evening, it's Katarzyna Maryna
Pastorale-Trzemeszno.
178
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:05,046
The session stopped for a brake,
excuse me - for a break.
179
00:13:05,240 --> 00:13:09,245
From the Seym, exclusively for Crab
News, sorry - Crap News,
180
00:13:09,480 --> 00:13:13,451
your reporter Katarzyna Maryna
Pastorale-Trzemeszno.
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00:13:15,120 --> 00:13:18,442
Thank you, Katarzyna Maryna
Pastorale-Trzemeszno.
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00:13:18,640 --> 00:13:22,406
You're watching Crap News, Ewelina
Celina Sn itch witch snitch witch-Snot.
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00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:24,807
Here are our next topics.
184
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,447
And it fucking goes on.
Names longer than the news.
185
00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,169
Soon only guys will have
single surnames.
186
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,651
My wife also wants to add
a second surname.
187
00:13:37,840 --> 00:13:40,571
- Does she? Whose?
- Mine.
188
00:13:41,160 --> 00:13:43,322
She already has yours. Pucio.
189
00:13:43,520 --> 00:13:46,683
She wants another one,
as all her friends have double ones.
190
00:13:46,880 --> 00:13:49,850
And she doesn't like her own.
Raggedy-Pucio.
191
00:13:50,080 --> 00:13:54,244
So now she'll be called Pucio-Pucio.
Ewe Stefa Pucio-Pucio.
192
00:13:57,080 --> 00:14:00,527
- I'll also add one or two.
- Where will you get them?
193
00:14:00,800 --> 00:14:02,609
My mom's, my wife's...
194
00:14:02,800 --> 00:14:05,087
My ex-wife's. A maiden name.
195
00:14:05,280 --> 00:14:08,489
- Your maiden name?
- Both wives' maiden name.
196
00:14:08,680 --> 00:14:10,330
And a fewfirst names.
197
00:14:10,520 --> 00:14:13,490
I'll be Meowtchynski-Bowwowski-
Doggycat.
198
00:14:13,680 --> 00:14:16,286
Jakub Adam Sadam Wieslaw Czeslaw
199
00:14:16,480 --> 00:14:18,448
Perhaps also Maria.
200
00:14:20,880 --> 00:14:24,123
Saddam is not a Polish name.
You might not get it registered.
201
00:14:35,480 --> 00:14:39,405
Talking about the hemispheres.
Something must be wrong with them.
202
00:14:39,600 --> 00:14:43,047
- 'Cause, look...
- For sure. My wife prefers left side.
203
00:14:43,240 --> 00:14:44,048
How'?
204
00:14:44,200 --> 00:14:46,931
She's afraid of those,
who park on the right
205
00:14:47,120 --> 00:14:50,761
People shake their fists at us
that we're driving the wrong way.
206
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:54,091
My wife likes driving
on the continuous lines.
207
00:14:54,320 --> 00:14:57,802
If there are none, she drives
on the cat's eyes with one wheel
208
00:14:58,080 --> 00:14:59,923
and I get hiccups.
209
00:15:00,720 --> 00:15:03,087
She really loves the continuous lines.
210
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:06,443
And she likes to stop in the places
with many lines.
211
00:15:07,080 --> 00:15:10,926
Mine likes to have the continuous line
between the wheels.
212
00:15:11,840 --> 00:15:14,730
I guess they mistake the line
for some guy.
213
00:15:17,080 --> 00:15:19,731
Chicks never know
when they have right of way.
214
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,605
Just in case,
they give everybody right of way.
215
00:15:22,800 --> 00:15:26,441
So I fucking wait on the crossing:
Three women and me.
216
00:15:27,080 --> 00:15:29,811
- Why won't you go?
- 'Cause I'm scared,
217
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:33,322
that they'll start driving too
and fucking hit me.
218
00:15:39,920 --> 00:15:42,446
And they drive out of rhythm.
219
00:15:42,640 --> 00:15:46,087
- Out of our rhythm.
- With no rhythm at all.
220
00:15:46,280 --> 00:15:48,760
They've got some rhythm. Their own.
221
00:15:48,960 --> 00:15:52,362
- You'll never know what it is.
- Just the rhythm they know
222
00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:54,562
Beyond all logic.
223
00:15:54,800 --> 00:15:57,770
- Like quantum mechanics.
- I don't get it.
224
00:15:58,080 --> 00:16:01,163
- Or the nature itself.
- Fuck me, I don't.
225
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:05,284
"Quantum mechanics describes nature
in an absurd way"
226
00:16:05,480 --> 00:16:07,881
from the point of view
of common sense.
227
00:16:08,240 --> 00:16:11,961
But the test results coincide
with this description.
228
00:16:12,160 --> 00:16:16,529
One can think the quantum mechanics
studies something that doesn't exist.
229
00:16:16,760 --> 00:16:19,730
But still it turns out to be true.
230
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:24,801
"And nature - like a woman-
behaves in absurd way."
231
00:16:40,680 --> 00:16:44,480
You'll never fucking guess when she'll
change gear after starting.
232
00:16:44,840 --> 00:16:48,731
And if you can step on the gas without
ending up with your car in her ass.
233
00:16:48,920 --> 00:16:50,922
Perhaps they count on that.
234
00:16:51,600 --> 00:16:54,570
And their parking...
It's a fucking circus.
235
00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,531
Always with the front,
not the rear of the car.
236
00:16:57,680 --> 00:17:01,366
- She'll never park with the rear.
- It's the hemispheres.
237
00:17:02,960 --> 00:17:06,567
Or she goes backwards when starting
And crash.
238
00:17:06,800 --> 00:17:09,041
It's the hemispheres.
239
00:17:10,440 --> 00:17:13,444
- I won't mention turning around.
- In 3 steps?
240
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:16,166
Three backwards, four forward.
241
00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:19,483
And a policeman would come in handy
to stop the traffic.
242
00:17:19,640 --> 00:17:21,369
It's the hemispheres.
243
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:36,568
On a stupid lift you can't expect
what a chick will do.
244
00:17:36,760 --> 00:17:39,286
The elevator?
No, the ski lift
245
00:17:39,880 --> 00:17:43,601
When you're there with a woman,
it's 100% all goes wrong.
246
00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:48,045
You should let the lift lift you...
and let the skis go.
247
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:52,610
But when a chick clutches it tightly,
it's sure you'll fucking fall over.
248
00:17:53,600 --> 00:17:56,683
Once one latched on
and pulled it towards her.
249
00:17:56,880 --> 00:18:00,601
I said: "Just let it go a little bit,
because we both..."
250
00:18:00,840 --> 00:18:03,571
No reaction, and shejust
goes arse over it.
251
00:18:03,760 --> 00:18:07,810
Let it go"! But she clutches even
tighter and I feel she'll pull me.
252
00:18:08,080 --> 00:18:12,051
"Stop clutching, nutcase!" I bend back
her talon and fall down, too.
253
00:18:12,160 --> 00:18:13,844
On her?
254
00:18:14,080 --> 00:18:17,323
She scrambled up went on,
with my ski pole.
255
00:18:17,520 --> 00:18:19,204
Never got it back.
256
00:18:20,400 --> 00:18:24,200
It's the same with cars...
with chicks driving.
257
00:18:25,640 --> 00:18:28,769
And then people say that chicks
have less accidents.
258
00:18:28,960 --> 00:18:32,123
- That's right.
- But how many crashes do they cause?
259
00:18:32,320 --> 00:18:34,129
And just drive away.
260
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:38,689
And the victims are being
cut out with acetylene torches.
261
00:19:02,080 --> 00:19:04,526
And these presents they give you...
262
00:19:07,880 --> 00:19:09,769
I have a closet full of ties.
263
00:19:09,960 --> 00:19:13,089
Al have a mugs.
Shelves, cupboard, closets full.
264
00:19:14,160 --> 00:19:15,491
I hate ties.
265
00:19:15,640 --> 00:19:17,483
With my name on them.
266
00:19:17,640 --> 00:19:21,201
I would just have to swill tea,
every day in a different mug.
267
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:22,970
Or pajamas.
268
00:19:23,160 --> 00:19:26,846
And frames. I'd have to take photos
all the time and put them in frames.
269
00:19:27,320 --> 00:19:29,800
I'd have to sleep all the time
to use them.
270
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:33,243
- And hang them.
- Each of them.
271
00:19:40,840 --> 00:19:43,810
- What about "pee"? "Wee-wee"?
- Want to?
272
00:19:44,080 --> 00:19:48,608
No. Chicks always announce it loudly.
N 0 matter where they are.
273
00:19:49,200 --> 00:19:51,680
They must announce it to everybody.
274
00:19:51,880 --> 00:19:56,442
Bunch of strangers, public place...
And she declares that she goes to pee.
275
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:59,806
Mine says: "I'm going for pee-pee".
276
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,888
And mine: "I'm going pee-pee".
277
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,641
That's some fucking syntax, ya know
"I'm going pee-pee".
278
00:20:10,640 --> 00:20:13,849
I'll always know the place,
where a woman lives.
279
00:20:14,080 --> 00:20:16,367
- How'?
- Like Sherlock Holmes.
280
00:20:16,560 --> 00:20:19,404
I know right away
that a chick was there.
281
00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,051
I look in the bathroom
and what do I check?
282
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:25,851
- The shower tap.
- The chick used the shower.
283
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,367
The fucking shower tap is on.
284
00:20:28,560 --> 00:20:32,042
You try to wash your hands
and your mug gets splashed.
285
00:20:32,200 --> 00:20:36,683
- Depends if it's from under or above.
- If it spurts on your mug or shirt,
286
00:20:36,920 --> 00:20:39,127
a chick was there for sure.
287
00:20:40,960 --> 00:20:43,531
- And mascara on a towel?
- I know
288
00:20:44,160 --> 00:20:47,050
Clean towel
and a print of an eye on it.
289
00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:49,521
Black mascara on a white towel
290
00:20:50,160 --> 00:20:52,561
- Mine leaves around those...
- What?
291
00:20:52,760 --> 00:20:54,364
Swabs.
292
00:20:54,560 --> 00:20:56,210
Cotton swabs.
293
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,846
- For nose?
- For ears.
294
00:20:59,680 --> 00:21:02,081
Fuck it. They might be for nose.
295
00:21:02,280 --> 00:21:05,682
- Mine puts the burnt matches...
- Or she puts in the sink...
296
00:21:05,880 --> 00:21:09,327
back to the box.
- ...the used tea-bags. Pouches.
297
00:21:09,960 --> 00:21:11,371
Pauches.
298
00:21:14,480 --> 00:21:17,609
Mine is so barmy,
that after using toilet paper
299
00:21:17,800 --> 00:21:20,963
she throws it behind her,
not in the toilet.
300
00:21:21,200 --> 00:21:23,362
She doesn't even check.
301
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:26,810
She'll never tell you
the toilet paper is gone.
302
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:29,241
You take a shit and then what?
303
00:21:29,440 --> 00:21:33,604
You can at most wipe your ass with
the cardboard reel and smear up shit.
304
00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:36,565
Or hop all in shit
to get paper from a cabinet.
305
00:21:36,760 --> 00:21:40,287
- Or to get a newspaper.
- Hopefully not to a newsstand.
306
00:21:46,920 --> 00:21:49,491
And these sounds from the toilet?
307
00:21:58,240 --> 00:21:59,685
Dumpling.
308
00:22:00,240 --> 00:22:01,969
Just like us.
309
00:22:02,960 --> 00:22:06,089
I always thought they don't shit.
310
00:22:06,960 --> 00:22:08,689
And don't even fart.
311
00:22:08,880 --> 00:22:10,325
Seriously.
312
00:22:11,520 --> 00:22:14,364
When I was in love
for the first time...
313
00:22:14,560 --> 00:22:17,484
I thought they didn't do it at all.
314
00:22:17,640 --> 00:22:19,529
And here comes a shock.
315
00:22:26,080 --> 00:22:27,445
Plop...
316
00:22:30,680 --> 00:22:33,286
Pissing is still all right, but...
317
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,250
For a long time
I couldn't cope with that.
318
00:22:38,440 --> 00:22:40,807
Actually I still can't.
319
00:22:41,440 --> 00:22:43,807
I thought that mum at least doesn't.
320
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:48,611
Plop.
321
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:55,044
They shoot
from a double-barrelled shotgun.
322
00:22:55,360 --> 00:22:58,682
Then I just turn up the radio or Tv
but if it's before boinking
323
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,048
then my dickjust goes down.
324
00:23:07,560 --> 00:23:10,484
Have you noticed
that chicks leave different
325
00:23:10,680 --> 00:23:12,728
you know what... in the toilet.
326
00:23:13,680 --> 00:23:15,648
It stinks?
327
00:23:16,360 --> 00:23:18,647
It's somehow sweet smell...
328
00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,971
Hard to tell.
329
00:23:23,000 --> 00:23:24,331
Yeah...
330
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,682
Sweet smelling shit.
331
00:23:28,680 --> 00:23:32,162
- Entering toilet after woman was...
- Shitting.
332
00:23:32,640 --> 00:23:35,723
An ambulance is the only hope
- Perhaps it's perfume.
333
00:23:38,160 --> 00:23:40,925
I guess they don't drink perfume
334
00:23:45,080 --> 00:23:48,527
- Perhaps they get saturated with it.
- Incidentally,
335
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:51,246
man's hangover shit stinks even more.
336
00:23:54,720 --> 00:23:58,122
Now chicks drink hard too,
so everything is ahead of them.
337
00:23:58,320 --> 00:24:01,722
Women who have men'sjobs
more often abuse alcohol.
338
00:24:02,640 --> 00:24:05,610
Secondary school-girls
drink more than boys.
339
00:24:06,120 --> 00:24:08,691
It's a newtrend - for a crazy girl.
340
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,524
Or going to bed, to sleep.
341
00:24:24,360 --> 00:24:28,251
I may stay up long, wait till she falls
asleep, but she'll always wake up
342
00:24:28,440 --> 00:24:31,444
when I lie down and kiss me
with this cream of hers on.
343
00:24:31,640 --> 00:24:35,042
I can't fall asleep with this taste.
I won't sleep anyway,
344
00:24:35,200 --> 00:24:38,807
but I want to have my lips wet
with the last sip of tea I take.
345
00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:42,288
So I spit on the carpet,
wipe my mouth furtively,
346
00:24:42,480 --> 00:24:45,245
and again I need to wet them with tea.
347
00:24:45,680 --> 00:24:49,605
She wakes up again and kisses me
with her lip gloss on and falls asleep.
348
00:24:49,800 --> 00:24:53,805
And I, awake, have to repeat it all
again: spitting, pissing, a sip of tea.
349
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,970
And I don't sleep
for I wait till she kisses me again.
350
00:24:57,240 --> 00:25:00,801
My wife won't sleep with me
as I snort.
351
00:25:01,080 --> 00:25:02,605
- Snore.
- You too?
352
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:06,162
- It's snoring. Do you snore?
- She does. And farts.
353
00:25:06,320 --> 00:25:08,607
Snores. I don't snort at all.
354
00:25:08,800 --> 00:25:12,930
I must do the whole ritual preparing
my bed, smoothing the sheets
355
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:16,920
and still I keep tossing and turning
as if I were in a washing machine.
356
00:25:17,160 --> 00:25:21,324
And she falls asleep right away,
with a book, with light, radio, Tv on.
357
00:25:21,520 --> 00:25:25,650
On her back, stomach, any side, upside
down, and with feet in pillowcase.
358
00:25:25,800 --> 00:25:29,850
Nothing stops her. Neither full moon,
nor rain, wind or hail.
359
00:25:30,760 --> 00:25:34,481
And when I'm pissed that she sleeps
when I can't, she says:
360
00:25:34,680 --> 00:25:39,561
"If you loved me you'd be happy that
I can sleep and will be well rested."
361
00:25:40,080 --> 00:25:42,924
Mine is the same.
One yawn - and falls asleep.
362
00:25:43,080 --> 00:25:47,085
She yawns and sleeps. If I yawn,
I'm done sleeping.
363
00:25:47,280 --> 00:25:51,569
My eyes water... I'd just keep yawning
till the morning.
364
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:04,367
And this yawning of theirs...
365
00:26:05,320 --> 00:26:09,928
Why those chicks yawn so much?
Even during the day.
366
00:26:12,320 --> 00:26:16,086
Perhaps they've got some problem
with... auricles.
367
00:26:17,080 --> 00:26:20,163
They stand at bus stops or wherever
and just yawn.
368
00:26:22,080 --> 00:26:24,048
And with circulation.
369
00:26:25,200 --> 00:26:27,726
Is it 'cause of lack of oxygen?
370
00:26:27,920 --> 00:26:31,481
It's the heart, lack of oxygen...
and they yawn.
371
00:26:31,680 --> 00:26:33,648
Yawn during the day.
372
00:26:33,840 --> 00:26:36,446
And won't even cover their mouths.
373
00:26:37,600 --> 00:26:39,329
They don't cover...
374
00:26:41,520 --> 00:26:44,683
From a distance you see
quite a nice figure
375
00:26:45,080 --> 00:26:48,687
but magic is gone,
when she opens her mouth wide
376
00:26:48,880 --> 00:26:51,281
As if she was calling for food.
377
00:26:51,560 --> 00:26:54,325
They yawn out of their rapacity.
378
00:26:54,520 --> 00:26:57,490
They are greedy for exclusivity,
like piranhas.
379
00:26:57,680 --> 00:26:58,681
Pira...
380
00:27:00,080 --> 00:27:02,890
Piranhas devour their victims
so fucking greedily
381
00:27:03,080 --> 00:27:05,128
that not even a bone is left.
382
00:27:07,000 --> 00:27:08,570
I'm sorry.
383
00:27:17,080 --> 00:27:19,321
I need to doze off for a minute.
384
00:29:06,600 --> 00:29:09,570
My wife yawns
even if we are about to make love.
385
00:29:09,760 --> 00:29:11,728
Especially then.
386
00:29:11,960 --> 00:29:14,930
When she says: "Come...
and make love to me"
387
00:29:15,200 --> 00:29:18,682
I lose lust for anything.
Magic's gone, my dick hides.
388
00:29:18,880 --> 00:29:21,326
- Perhaps you've got "koro".
- "Koro"?
389
00:29:21,520 --> 00:29:24,444
- Turtle's head?
- I've got only my johnson's head.
390
00:29:24,640 --> 00:29:26,961
"Koro" in Malayan means
"turtle's head".
391
00:29:27,200 --> 00:29:29,328
- Great.
- It's also a disease,
392
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,683
which makes man's penis
hide slowly into the abdomen,
393
00:29:32,880 --> 00:29:35,360
like a turtle's head into its shell.
394
00:29:35,560 --> 00:29:37,562
Fuck me...
395
00:29:38,280 --> 00:29:41,727
Loss of a penis is subconscious fear
that any man has.
396
00:29:41,840 --> 00:29:44,844
If a man could choose
which part of his body to lose,
397
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:47,401
this one would go as the last one.
398
00:29:47,600 --> 00:29:52,049
What about the head?
Wouldn't you like to keep your head?
399
00:29:52,240 --> 00:29:56,370
Honestly speaking, I would prefer
to lose my head than...
400
00:29:56,760 --> 00:29:58,285
your dick's head?
401
00:30:33,280 --> 00:30:36,602
On the other hand,
I'd like to have a bigger one.
402
00:30:36,800 --> 00:30:38,290
Just a little bit
403
00:30:38,480 --> 00:30:40,084
At least thicker.
404
00:30:40,680 --> 00:30:43,923
- "A guy goes to a brothel". Know it?
- I know a few
405
00:30:44,120 --> 00:30:46,088
- With a Negro?
- No.
406
00:30:46,600 --> 00:30:50,400
The guy asks, which girl is free
The Madam says "Room 5"
407
00:30:51,080 --> 00:30:53,890
He goes to Room 5,
but sees through the glass
408
00:30:54,080 --> 00:30:57,402
that on a bed there's a Negro
and the girl is sitting on him.
409
00:30:57,600 --> 00:31:00,444
So he tells Madam
that Room 5 is taken.
410
00:31:00,640 --> 00:31:05,202
And she answers, that the girl
is free, just sitting on a stretcher.
411
00:31:09,160 --> 00:31:12,642
I feel I'm cornered by chicks.
412
00:31:14,440 --> 00:31:16,807
I'm just scared of them.
413
00:31:17,720 --> 00:31:21,042
I just feel somehow withdrawn.
414
00:31:21,240 --> 00:31:25,370
Pushed back against a wall,
driven to some corner.
415
00:31:27,120 --> 00:31:30,044
Suit, Bond's girl,
wide shoulders...
416
00:31:35,800 --> 00:31:38,371
Businesswomen-gladiators.
417
00:32:01,120 --> 00:32:04,806
- And this clattering with high heels?
- That's some clattering.
418
00:32:04,960 --> 00:32:08,169
I'm walking at night: stars,
blissful silence...
419
00:32:08,360 --> 00:32:12,046
and there comes fucking:
Tap, tap, tap, tap.
420
00:32:12,200 --> 00:32:15,124
Like she's walking on caps.
They explode in my head.
421
00:32:15,320 --> 00:32:16,970
And they keep smoking...
422
00:32:17,920 --> 00:32:19,160
these fags.
423
00:32:19,360 --> 00:32:22,807
- And there goes fucking harmony.
- Only women smoke in the streets.
424
00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:26,243
- You can't let her go first...
- They drag this grey stench.
425
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:30,201
Taking thousands of steps like
centipede, she covers 1 meter per hour.
426
00:32:30,400 --> 00:32:34,564
You can't walk faster - you don't want
to be chased by fucking "tap, tap".
427
00:32:34,720 --> 00:32:38,441
They are lighter than us,
but tramp their hooves like horses.
428
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:41,484
- The Humpbacked Horses.
- Rather Percherons.
429
00:32:41,640 --> 00:32:46,601
Good that men wear flats. One could
go nuts if everyone pounded like that.
430
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,610
I saw a chick in flats,
she was also tapping.
431
00:32:49,800 --> 00:32:53,361
It's their nature tapping more
than their high heels.
432
00:32:53,560 --> 00:32:55,801
So that men don't get enough peace.
433
00:32:56,080 --> 00:33:00,085
With bouncing boobs and camel's toe,
she's fucking walking.
434
00:33:00,280 --> 00:33:04,080
- All that just to arouse guys.
- And we are to keep calm.
435
00:33:04,280 --> 00:33:07,727
Conscious of their power over us,
they cockily carry around
436
00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:11,641
- their holes armed in buttocks.
- Like monstrances.
437
00:33:11,840 --> 00:33:15,811
Want me to see you as a human being,
don't show off your ass.
438
00:33:16,000 --> 00:33:20,085
Want me to see your soul, show off
your face, which is its mirror,
439
00:33:20,280 --> 00:33:23,045
and not your belly button or G-string.
440
00:33:23,560 --> 00:33:26,689
They expect us to treat their asses
like kind of miracle.
441
00:33:26,880 --> 00:33:29,486
- One sat once by my plate.
- Hows that?
442
00:33:29,720 --> 00:33:33,042
I was eating at a Chinese Bar
and she was waiting for her meal.
443
00:33:33,200 --> 00:33:35,680
She perched with her cheeks
on my table
444
00:33:35,880 --> 00:33:38,406
and its corner went straight
to her pussy.
445
00:33:38,600 --> 00:33:40,045
It's quite nice.
446
00:33:40,280 --> 00:33:43,284
Sure! But her ass was next to my meal!
447
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:47,721
There's the right time and place,
even for the ass!
448
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:44,926
And this whole idea of equal rights?
449
00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:48,886
"What's yours is mine
and what's mine is mine"
450
00:34:49,080 --> 00:34:51,811
Salaries are the same,
but pension comes earlier.
451
00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:54,606
Less work for the same money.
452
00:34:54,800 --> 00:34:58,600
60 years and she gets dough lazing
around like some bull in a meadow
453
00:34:58,800 --> 00:35:00,370
- Like a cow
- What?
454
00:35:00,560 --> 00:35:03,404
They'll laze around like cows
not bulls.
455
00:35:03,600 --> 00:35:07,321
Guys should pay while at date
- Give up their seats on a bus.
456
00:35:07,520 --> 00:35:09,648
- Step back to give them way.
- Rep air a car.
457
00:35:09,840 --> 00:35:14,243
- Repair socket, take the rubbish out.
- Help with luggage on the train.
458
00:35:14,440 --> 00:35:19,048
I don't do it. Let them pick it up
themselves if they want equal rights.
459
00:35:19,240 --> 00:35:21,811
They want the car door opened
for them.
460
00:35:22,080 --> 00:35:25,209
They wait till a guy runs around a car
and opens a door.
461
00:35:25,400 --> 00:35:27,402
I would drive without her.
462
00:35:31,560 --> 00:35:35,963
Take tennis. Chicks want to get the same
money, but play shorter matches.
463
00:35:36,160 --> 00:35:40,404
- Everybody plays up to two won games.
- In Grand Slam, Davis Cup and Masters
464
00:35:40,600 --> 00:35:42,921
guys have to play
up to 3 winning games,
465
00:35:43,160 --> 00:35:46,448
4 hours in the sun. And chicks
play up to 2 winning games.
466
00:35:46,640 --> 00:35:48,688
Two hours and they cash a check.
467
00:35:48,840 --> 00:35:52,242
What's yours is mine, but don't touch
what's mine...
468
00:35:53,720 --> 00:35:56,724
Generally at sports -
what are they equal at?
469
00:35:58,000 --> 00:36:01,049
Stronger, faster, more distant.
470
00:36:01,200 --> 00:36:03,806
- Distant?
- At long jump.
471
00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:06,480
- I see.
- Long jump.
472
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:08,846
Closer.
473
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:10,206
High jump.
474
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:12,610
Lower.
475
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:14,205
Shot put.
476
00:36:14,880 --> 00:36:16,325
Shorter.
477
00:36:16,480 --> 00:36:18,084
100- meter dash.
478
00:36:18,280 --> 00:36:19,805
Slower.
479
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:21,923
Sprint races generally.
480
00:36:22,120 --> 00:36:24,487
They are better at 100 m hurdles.
481
00:36:24,680 --> 00:36:27,524
- But they have 10 meters less to run.
- Do they?
482
00:36:27,720 --> 00:36:29,324
Fucking A.
483
00:36:32,000 --> 00:36:34,480
And the butterfly?
- Who?
484
00:36:34,640 --> 00:36:37,644
If they are so smart,
let them swim as fast as men.
485
00:36:37,880 --> 00:36:41,680
If they are so equal, let them start
equally with all men.
486
00:36:41,880 --> 00:36:46,488
Only then - no victories, no medals,
no records, and no cash for that.
487
00:36:48,720 --> 00:36:50,643
They are different
488
00:36:52,880 --> 00:36:54,370
Although...
489
00:36:55,400 --> 00:36:57,289
I watched Golden League
490
00:36:57,480 --> 00:37:01,246
and one runner had a belly button
across, 100 m hurdle.
491
00:37:01,520 --> 00:37:05,923
And what should she have?
- Along, like cunt.
492
00:37:12,960 --> 00:37:14,724
And trousers?
493
00:37:14,920 --> 00:37:17,969
Are we wearing fucking skirts,
in the fucking hell?
494
00:37:18,120 --> 00:37:20,691
- The Scots do.
- Fucking Scots.
495
00:37:20,880 --> 00:37:22,882
- Get it'?
- I do.
496
00:37:23,080 --> 00:37:25,048
Do we wear dresses?
497
00:37:25,240 --> 00:37:28,961
Man's jacket, oversized trousers,
waistcoat on a naked body.
498
00:37:30,080 --> 00:37:33,163
You won't be surprised
if you see a woman in long johns.
499
00:37:38,440 --> 00:37:40,920
Women stopped being women.
500
00:37:41,920 --> 00:37:44,924
A woman and a dress... a skirt...
501
00:37:45,120 --> 00:37:48,329
a gauzy blouse - that's femininity.
502
00:37:50,720 --> 00:37:54,645
That's vmy women have beautiful body,
waist, breasts...
503
00:37:54,840 --> 00:37:58,731
so that they are not men, who are
ashamed to show hairy legs.
504
00:38:01,720 --> 00:38:04,166
Women used to attract us with
their grace,
505
00:38:04,400 --> 00:38:06,687
they knew how to move gracefully.
506
00:38:06,880 --> 00:38:09,167
That was part of their charm.
507
00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:13,927
Now there is no trend for women
to walk gracefully.
508
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:19,409
Nowadays we just have broads,
vmo look like men.
509
00:38:22,520 --> 00:38:25,285
They wear pants all the time.
510
00:38:25,480 --> 00:38:28,051
It's so rare that they put dresses on.
511
00:38:28,640 --> 00:38:30,085
Half-men.
512
00:38:35,560 --> 00:38:37,881
It's all Kennedy's fault.
513
00:38:38,840 --> 00:38:41,411
She introduced trousers at work.
514
00:38:42,760 --> 00:38:44,046
She?
515
00:38:44,680 --> 00:38:46,045
Jacqueline.
516
00:38:46,920 --> 00:38:49,287
And Rice - to diplomacy.
517
00:38:50,480 --> 00:38:52,767
Oh, Condoleezza.
518
00:38:57,760 --> 00:39:00,684
What if all start parading around
in suits?
519
00:39:02,240 --> 00:39:04,527
And shave hair like skinheads?
520
00:39:06,080 --> 00:39:07,411
Smoke fags.
521
00:39:08,800 --> 00:39:10,848
Soak up brew
522
00:39:12,720 --> 00:39:16,850
Talk on their mobiles while driving,
holding the wheel with one hand.
523
00:39:17,840 --> 00:39:21,049
So finally,
we'll be finding it out in bed...
524
00:39:21,840 --> 00:39:24,081
That it's Mr. Bride?
525
00:39:24,640 --> 00:39:26,722
And you are Miss Groom.
526
00:39:29,200 --> 00:39:32,204
No fucking way you'll know
who you are banging.
527
00:39:38,280 --> 00:39:42,080
"We weren't sweating in our training
to be shaking now.." - mind you...
528
00:39:42,320 --> 00:39:45,449
"...to be shaking in our pants,
because of the Russians."
529
00:39:45,640 --> 00:39:48,371
Not "dresses" or "skirts"
but "pants".
530
00:39:48,800 --> 00:39:52,600
'Cause they play in pants.
It's about volleyball team, isn't it?
531
00:39:52,800 --> 00:39:55,804
It's still some sort
of fucking appropriation.
532
00:39:55,960 --> 00:39:59,931
It's OK that they shake their asses,
we have asses, they have asses...
533
00:40:00,160 --> 00:40:03,050
But shaking
in their pants impudently...
534
00:40:03,240 --> 00:40:05,720
So the next step will be...
I don't know
535
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:08,127
- "My balls hurt".
- What?
536
00:40:08,320 --> 00:40:10,766
When they say "my balls hurt".
537
00:40:11,080 --> 00:40:12,809
I fucking guess so.
538
00:40:13,760 --> 00:40:17,481
Already chicks say about one another:
"She's got some balls".
539
00:40:17,960 --> 00:40:20,167
The coach says about one girl:
540
00:40:20,320 --> 00:40:24,291
"She was the father of this victory".
We lay ourselves wide open.
541
00:40:29,160 --> 00:40:32,687
And Dinara Safina said bitterly
after the Australian Open:
542
00:40:32,800 --> 00:40:36,327
"In these finals
I wasjust a ball boy".
543
00:40:36,560 --> 00:40:39,291
Did she go fucking nuts?
She was a boy.
544
00:40:46,920 --> 00:40:49,685
Soon these cunts will make us
decline nouns.
545
00:40:49,840 --> 00:40:52,844
- I don't get it.
- A guy will say "I ate with a fork"
546
00:40:53,080 --> 00:40:57,165
- and chick "I ate with a forkness".
- I won't pack it in with a forkness.
547
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,806
- And you won't be a sex-machine...
- Why?
548
00:41:00,000 --> 00:41:02,048
But a sex-apparatus.
549
00:41:20,080 --> 00:41:23,721
Here again some sad prick
is manifesting: "Death to men!"
550
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:27,851
Men are the species, which is worse
'cause of their physical weakness,
551
00:41:28,080 --> 00:41:32,290
"oldfartedness in decision making, fear
of the future and general ugliness."
552
00:41:32,520 --> 00:41:36,605
"Men are the mistake of nature
and the social tragedy!"
553
00:41:40,680 --> 00:41:43,604
Men themselves lose ground to women.
554
00:41:43,760 --> 00:41:48,687
At home, at work, in life. They don't
feel like proving their usefulness.
555
00:41:48,840 --> 00:41:52,765
These pricks think that by playing up
to chicks they will save their asses.
556
00:41:52,960 --> 00:41:55,804
And chicks will chew out our asses
even more.
557
00:41:59,000 --> 00:42:02,561
For 100 years, they've been fighting
guys. Aren't they bored?
558
00:42:06,360 --> 00:42:08,488
You want work? You got it.
559
00:42:08,680 --> 00:42:10,762
You want free sex? You got it.
560
00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:15,085
You don't have to cook, nor to take
care of kids. For fuck's sake.
561
00:42:15,280 --> 00:42:17,408
You want to rule - go for it.
562
00:42:30,000 --> 00:42:32,651
They keep joining the police and army.
563
00:42:33,960 --> 00:42:36,361
They are quite good at shooting.
564
00:42:36,560 --> 00:42:40,929
- Rather at casting glances.
- In films you can see how they shoot.
565
00:42:41,120 --> 00:42:43,521
This fucking political correctness
demands
566
00:42:43,760 --> 00:42:47,765
that at least one chick in a crime
film, screams: "it's the police!"
567
00:42:48,720 --> 00:42:51,644
and smooch a gun like a dick.
568
00:42:52,360 --> 00:42:56,604
Senior corporal on army maneuvers:
"Absent! On maternity leave".
569
00:42:56,800 --> 00:43:01,328
Petty oficeress absent in naval
maneuvers because of her period.
570
00:43:01,520 --> 00:43:04,524
She cannot get wet.
571
00:43:05,760 --> 00:43:09,731
- They want to be priests.
- Priestesses.
572
00:43:09,920 --> 00:43:12,287
Preacheresses.
573
00:43:12,480 --> 00:43:17,088
I can see altar boys wanking off
in their surplices during Elevation.
574
00:43:18,320 --> 00:43:20,561
Women work on roofs now
575
00:43:20,720 --> 00:43:22,529
In special forces?
576
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:24,802
No, as chimney-sweepers.
577
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,527
This is the way the world ends!
578
00:43:28,680 --> 00:43:31,684
So far we were sweeping
their chimneys.
579
00:43:36,640 --> 00:43:39,610
Men have been ruling
for the last 5000 years.
580
00:43:39,800 --> 00:43:41,882
Chicks've been ruling all the time.
581
00:43:42,120 --> 00:43:45,920
But feminists don't want to get rid
of the patriarchal culture.
582
00:43:46,600 --> 00:43:50,047
Quite contrary...
They strengthen it and consolidate.
583
00:43:50,960 --> 00:43:53,884
- Wearing men's shoes.
- And trousers.
584
00:43:54,760 --> 00:43:57,889
Participating in parliamentary
elections, holding offices,
585
00:43:58,080 --> 00:44:00,651
following men's carrier model,
or dressing style...
586
00:44:00,840 --> 00:44:03,810
- I said "pants".
- And putting off having a family.
587
00:44:05,360 --> 00:44:08,443
Men will have to reproduce
among themselves.
588
00:44:12,240 --> 00:44:15,687
Women mimicking men's spirit
and psyche is a catastrophe.
589
00:44:15,880 --> 00:44:18,281
- For whom?
For everybody.
590
00:44:19,240 --> 00:44:23,245
You can imagine a world,
which is ruled exclusively by women
591
00:44:23,480 --> 00:44:27,087
It would still be a man's world
in its essence.
592
00:44:27,800 --> 00:44:32,044
The world after a successful heist:
Appropriated,
593
00:44:32,240 --> 00:44:33,526
but unchanged.
594
00:44:35,760 --> 00:44:38,730
I'm not running around
in low-cut dresses.
595
00:44:40,480 --> 00:44:42,289
Patriarchalism without men?
596
00:44:42,480 --> 00:44:45,723
Let the chicks stay away
from my fucking pants.
597
00:44:46,760 --> 00:44:50,446
Afeministic fight with men's domination
only consolidates it.
598
00:44:50,680 --> 00:44:52,523
I fucking don't get it.
599
00:44:52,720 --> 00:44:55,803
Milosz once wrote: "Nurturing
hatred towards an enemy"
600
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:58,890
and searching for something
tojuxtapose with him,
601
00:44:59,120 --> 00:45:00,610
he'll follow his steps
602
00:45:00,840 --> 00:45:04,526
"and juxtapose a reverse ideal,
which stays within the same scale."
603
00:45:04,680 --> 00:45:08,048
Fucking A.
And what did Gombrowicz say?
604
00:45:08,240 --> 00:45:12,040
"Where did my attacks of form lead me?
Exactly to the form."
605
00:45:13,120 --> 00:45:15,885
Or getting into men's toilets...
606
00:45:17,560 --> 00:45:20,166
Once I peed in a theater.
- What?
607
00:45:20,360 --> 00:45:21,199
Two babes with their boobs barely in,
snuck into the men's toilet.
608
00:45:21,200 --> 00:45:23,965
Two babes with their boobs barely in,
snuck into the men's toilet.
609
00:45:24,120 --> 00:45:27,841
And I was taking a leak here.
If I went into their toilet...
610
00:45:28,560 --> 00:45:31,530
it'd be a scandal -
a pervert, voyeurism
611
00:45:31,720 --> 00:45:34,121
I was peeing in an office
- In the loo?
612
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:39,201
And some cow came to wash glasses
- Next to me. Like in a cowshed.
613
00:45:40,360 --> 00:45:44,081
Not the smallest partition between
the urinal and the sink.
614
00:45:44,240 --> 00:45:47,210
I'm peeing and she's washing glasses.
615
00:45:47,560 --> 00:45:49,767
I can't pee, nor hide it.
616
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:52,162
What are you doing here?
617
00:45:52,680 --> 00:45:56,446
"I'm washing glasses" she says.
"But I need some intimacy."
618
00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,644
"I'm not interested
in what you're hiding there."
619
00:45:59,840 --> 00:46:01,410
"Me? Hiding?!"
620
00:46:01,600 --> 00:46:04,171
"Go ahead, pee.”
And she walks off"
621
00:46:04,440 --> 00:46:06,841
I felt like kicking her ass.
622
00:46:15,080 --> 00:46:16,889
And the cards.
623
00:46:17,080 --> 00:46:18,650
At fortune teller's?
624
00:46:18,840 --> 00:46:23,164
This too, damn it, she checks all
the time if she'll be happy with me.
625
00:46:23,360 --> 00:46:27,285
She makes me press my thumb
'cause a reflexologist told her so.
626
00:46:27,480 --> 00:46:31,804
Anyway, a chick buys cheese, two buns,
and sausages for 11,20.
627
00:46:32,000 --> 00:46:35,641
She pays by a credit card,
so I move to the other checkout
628
00:46:35,880 --> 00:46:39,123
and she comes to mine
'cause there is no card reader there.
629
00:46:39,320 --> 00:46:41,800
- And they check there.
- In the system.
630
00:46:42,000 --> 00:46:45,527
- Via the satellite.
- If she has 11,20 in her account.
631
00:46:46,160 --> 00:46:47,924
Eleven twenty.
632
00:47:23,840 --> 00:47:27,242
N ow enter your pin code
and push the green button.
633
00:47:31,680 --> 00:47:33,444
First your pin code.
634
00:48:08,720 --> 00:48:10,882
Gentlemen. Cash or credit card?
635
00:48:12,120 --> 00:48:13,485
Cash!
636
00:48:14,440 --> 00:48:18,525
I was to give a lecture on Gender
Mainstreaming in Art and Culture.
637
00:48:18,840 --> 00:48:21,525
So before it
I go to men's room for a leak.
638
00:48:21,720 --> 00:48:24,564
And I see it's full - full of girls.
639
00:48:24,760 --> 00:48:29,129
Some club party - talking to guys,
sipping beer, smoking.
640
00:48:30,600 --> 00:48:33,649
I sneak into a cubicle and it's a flop.
I just freeze.
641
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:37,640
I'm listening to the girls' talk
about the sex typing process...
642
00:48:37,800 --> 00:48:40,371
- and I can't pee for fear I'll fart.
- And?
643
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:42,688
- And I ran.
- No lecture?!
644
00:48:42,880 --> 00:48:45,326
I couldn't lecture them
with full bladder
645
00:48:45,480 --> 00:48:47,960
or after farting in their presence.
646
00:48:55,360 --> 00:48:58,967
Women's perfect world
- Gender-neutral society.
647
00:48:59,600 --> 00:49:02,285
Gender differences must be removed.
648
00:49:03,000 --> 00:49:07,528
Since there're no gender-neutral
humans nor gender-neutral societies,
649
00:49:08,240 --> 00:49:11,084
let's remove the dictate
to be a man or woman.
650
00:49:11,280 --> 00:49:13,169
Then everybody will relax
651
00:49:13,400 --> 00:49:16,324
and gender-neutrality
will become ever present.
652
00:49:16,520 --> 00:49:20,844
Women don't want equality, meaning
being better at home and worse at work.
653
00:49:21,000 --> 00:49:25,562
Work is better than home 'cause it gives
more money, honor, and freedom.
654
00:49:25,760 --> 00:49:29,048
And at home she is grounded
with her husband and kids.
655
00:49:29,240 --> 00:49:32,608
The real aim of equality
is women's independence
656
00:49:32,800 --> 00:49:34,848
from husbands and children.
657
00:49:35,080 --> 00:49:38,766
To achieve full freedom women
want to live like men.
658
00:49:38,960 --> 00:49:41,611
Men are to behave like women.
659
00:49:42,200 --> 00:49:45,647
Now a woman will decide
what she expects of her man
660
00:49:45,840 --> 00:49:47,444
He has to comply.
661
00:49:47,600 --> 00:49:50,922
Women reject men - they don't need us.
662
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:56,043
Right, she'll buy
an auto-fucking condo...
663
00:49:56,200 --> 00:49:57,247
Condom.
664
00:49:57,480 --> 00:50:01,166
She'll have a baby with a test tube
and we're needless.
665
00:50:01,400 --> 00:50:04,529
Who are they going to reflect
in when they eliminate us?
666
00:50:06,440 --> 00:50:09,808
Goska get in here,
grandpa's finished peeing.
667
00:50:19,680 --> 00:50:21,603
Shut the door at least.
668
00:50:22,680 --> 00:50:23,920
You shut up.
669
00:50:30,120 --> 00:50:33,090
I have to cool my face with cold water
670
00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:02,243
- Shit on you!
- Same to you!
671
00:51:06,160 --> 00:51:09,323
- Aren't you taking a leak?
- With chicks?!
672
00:51:09,480 --> 00:51:10,970
They are shy.
673
00:51:13,640 --> 00:51:15,210
Leak, you dwarfs!
674
00:51:15,400 --> 00:51:17,050
We'll hold it.
675
00:51:19,920 --> 00:51:23,242
Finally, there is a chance
for taking a leak properly.
676
00:51:23,440 --> 00:51:24,601
Fuck!
677
00:51:26,000 --> 00:51:28,367
- Come on!
- What?!
678
00:51:28,960 --> 00:51:30,291
Whistle.
679
00:51:35,800 --> 00:51:37,564
N ow that's different
680
00:51:38,520 --> 00:51:40,045
Occupied!
681
00:51:45,320 --> 00:51:47,641
Do we really have it better?
682
00:51:48,560 --> 00:51:51,962
My female classmates
will outlive me by 8 years.
683
00:51:53,320 --> 00:51:57,769
It's enough to castrate a guy
and he will live as long as them.
684
00:51:59,400 --> 00:52:03,325
Two cases - a woman hits a guy,
a guy hits a woman.
685
00:52:03,520 --> 00:52:05,966
The second case causes an outrage.
686
00:52:06,200 --> 00:52:10,205
Both fathers and mothers are more
likely to hit a son than a daughter.
687
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:14,803
An average kid until they are 18
will see 40,000 murders on screen,
688
00:52:15,000 --> 00:52:18,163
97% of the victims will be males.
689
00:52:19,840 --> 00:52:23,367
Women and men commit the same
number of homicides within marriages.
690
00:52:23,560 --> 00:52:25,961
But prison sentences
for men are longer.
691
00:52:26,160 --> 00:52:28,686
Aguy who kills a woman,
is a degenerate.
692
00:52:28,880 --> 00:52:31,611
A woman who kills a man
“must have had a reason.”
693
00:52:31,760 --> 00:52:35,048
- And he “deserved it.”
Unemployment is the same for a guy
694
00:52:35,240 --> 00:52:38,528
as rape for a woman.
There are lots more homeless guys.
695
00:52:38,640 --> 00:52:41,291
They fall prey to addictions,
commit suicides.
696
00:52:41,440 --> 00:52:45,445
- “So guys are worse".
- Or there's equality between genders.
697
00:52:45,720 --> 00:52:47,165
Occupied.
698
00:52:48,920 --> 00:52:50,251
Occupied.
699
00:53:01,760 --> 00:53:05,481
The features we used to be praised for
- Strength and responsibility
700
00:53:05,640 --> 00:53:09,087
are considered brutality
and patriarchal oppression.
701
00:53:09,280 --> 00:53:12,045
And at the same time women's
magazines scream out
702
00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:15,767
"Where have all the masculine men
gone?!" Chicks want independence
703
00:53:15,920 --> 00:53:18,287
but also care.
Men must be both knights
704
00:53:18,480 --> 00:53:22,371
- and empathic ladylike partners.
- It gets hard to understand them.
705
00:53:22,560 --> 00:53:25,484
Be strong and weak;
Be warm, kind, sensitive
706
00:53:25,680 --> 00:53:28,524
and as hard as steel
all at the same time.
707
00:53:28,760 --> 00:53:31,843
- What's expected of us?
I don't know what kind of man
708
00:53:32,080 --> 00:53:35,084
I'm supposed to become,
so I'll stay a boy.
709
00:53:43,080 --> 00:53:46,243
Women have a choice:
Stay at home or go to work.
710
00:53:46,400 --> 00:53:50,371
Men have no choice. If they stay
at home, the stereotype'll kill them.
711
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:54,042
Henpecked husband, fairy,
loser, lazy bum...
712
00:53:54,320 --> 00:53:57,802
A guy can't tell his boss
he has to pick up his kid!
713
00:53:58,000 --> 00:54:00,651
- There's a paternity leave.
- 11 days.
714
00:54:00,840 --> 00:54:04,765
- They'll take it to go fishing?!
- Mothers have 16 weeks.
715
00:54:05,240 --> 00:54:07,607
Swedes take it to hunt on elk.
716
00:54:07,760 --> 00:54:10,969
- Women don't want us to take
maternity leave! - Paternity.
717
00:54:11,160 --> 00:54:15,563
They want to humiliate guys
with this fucking leave.
718
00:54:16,080 --> 00:54:19,607
How much can I raise
my child in 11 fucking days?
719
00:54:19,800 --> 00:54:24,328
At the best, I can get all smeared up
in shit changing diapers, spill soup,
720
00:54:24,520 --> 00:54:26,648
or fall over pushing a pram.
721
00:54:26,840 --> 00:54:30,845
"So that she could say to me
“What? You can't even do that?"
722
00:54:32,640 --> 00:54:36,247
A man can't hear the difference
between different baby cries.
723
00:54:36,480 --> 00:54:38,721
A woman can do it perfectly.
724
00:54:38,920 --> 00:54:42,766
All a man can hear is that the baby's
crying. But he doesn't know why.
725
00:54:42,960 --> 00:54:46,089
A woman knows whether
it's hungry, or in pain.
726
00:54:46,240 --> 00:54:49,608
While changing diapers,
the father says the baby's name
727
00:54:49,800 --> 00:54:52,280
3 times more often than its mother.
728
00:54:52,720 --> 00:54:56,850
The sound of the baby's name
makes him more aware of its autonomy.
729
00:54:58,280 --> 00:55:01,045
In time, the father should take over.
730
00:55:01,280 --> 00:55:04,045
He is the guide
for the growing child.
731
00:55:04,280 --> 00:55:07,329
He explains the world
and becomes its idol.
732
00:55:08,760 --> 00:55:11,604
Mom ain't nothing like dad...
733
00:55:12,440 --> 00:55:15,444
I don't fear the dark
734
00:55:15,640 --> 00:55:18,610
Coz my father's holding my hand.
735
00:55:19,520 --> 00:55:22,683
Ateenager needs a father
more than a mother.
736
00:55:24,520 --> 00:55:28,206
- Feminists wouldn't like to hear that.
- Feminists my ass.
737
00:55:28,400 --> 00:55:29,731
They are men.
738
00:55:29,920 --> 00:55:33,129
They padded their chests
and pretend to be females.
739
00:55:33,280 --> 00:55:36,807
They're one of the reasons
why we have the fatherhood crisis
740
00:55:36,960 --> 00:55:41,124
Demanding equal rights, they encourage
men to shun responsibility.
741
00:55:41,680 --> 00:55:43,808
This is not in men's nature.
742
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,921
Masculinity requires adversity.
It changes things, or restores them.
743
00:55:48,160 --> 00:55:50,686
- Masculinity in Greek...
- Andreia.
744
00:55:50,880 --> 00:55:54,202
Means courage.
Masculinity's the last but one resort.
745
00:55:54,400 --> 00:55:57,529
Then, there's only
prayer and resignation.
746
00:55:58,400 --> 00:56:01,563
Aman hates asking for directions,
when he gets lost.
747
00:56:01,760 --> 00:56:04,411
A man controls dangerous situations.
748
00:56:05,600 --> 00:56:09,650
In his private life, he protects
the weak: his wife and kids.
749
00:56:09,840 --> 00:56:12,241
In public life, he's aflerjustice.
750
00:56:12,440 --> 00:56:16,525
Admiring him, we admire ourselves,
coz we all need role models.
751
00:56:16,920 --> 00:56:20,208
But they try to separate
fathers from their children.
752
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:23,609
A baby's such an attractive
erotic partner for its mum...
753
00:56:23,800 --> 00:56:26,929
- Say what? - A baby loves
its mum unconditionally.
754
00:56:27,680 --> 00:56:29,762
It's fully dependent on her.
755
00:56:29,920 --> 00:56:32,526
Grateful for everything
she does for it.
756
00:56:32,720 --> 00:56:36,122
At the age of 2, boys start
being jealous of their fathers,
757
00:56:36,320 --> 00:56:40,644
because the latter want to have
their share of the mothers' attention.
758
00:56:40,840 --> 00:56:44,481
In a Phrygian legend, Attis,
jealous of his mother Agdistis,
759
00:56:44,720 --> 00:56:48,202
castrates himself before her eyes
shouting: 'Tis for you, Agdistis!
760
00:56:49,440 --> 00:56:50,646
Sweet.
761
00:56:51,560 --> 00:56:53,483
A man loses to a child,
762
00:56:54,240 --> 00:56:58,325
because a woman prefers to be
with her kid rather than her husband.
763
00:56:58,520 --> 00:57:01,364
- My wife slept with my son...
- So did mine.
764
00:57:01,520 --> 00:57:02,965
Till he was 11.
765
00:57:03,120 --> 00:57:07,091
Then she carried him to bed
and tied his shoes till he was 14.
766
00:57:08,200 --> 00:57:12,046
I could either try to stand
the kid's constant crying,
767
00:57:12,240 --> 00:57:15,483
or just stop giving a fuck.
So I chose that.
768
00:57:15,680 --> 00:57:19,162
Here, the father's beyond
the process of growing up.
769
00:57:19,360 --> 00:57:22,125
Men are excluded.
So they hold a grudge.
770
00:57:22,320 --> 00:57:25,961
They resort to excessive work,
alcohol, and other women.
771
00:57:26,160 --> 00:57:28,766
When fathers are gone,
the tragedy begins.
772
00:57:28,960 --> 00:57:33,443
There's no God, the soul's a cell,
the father can be smacked.
773
00:57:34,240 --> 00:57:37,164
Big boys have pain and anger
in their hearts,
774
00:57:37,400 --> 00:57:40,165
because they've become
the seduced victim
775
00:57:40,360 --> 00:57:43,967
of an aggressive,
and sexually neglected mother.
776
00:57:46,360 --> 00:57:48,761
"Let me change in front of you"
777
00:57:50,640 --> 00:57:53,041
"Bad boy, peeping on mom."
778
00:57:54,200 --> 00:57:56,646
"Come, give mommy a hug."
779
00:57:56,840 --> 00:58:00,606
"Aren't you ashamed of sneaking
into mom's bed like that?"
780
00:58:00,800 --> 00:58:03,167
"Mommy will give you a bath."
781
00:58:03,680 --> 00:58:07,685
"What're you playing with there?
Keep your hands on the duvet."
782
00:58:07,840 --> 00:58:09,285
"Nasiy boy!"
783
00:58:09,480 --> 00:58:12,484
A boy is convinced
his father hurt him.
784
00:58:12,960 --> 00:58:16,248
Then he realizes he wasn't in fact
abandoned by him,
785
00:58:16,400 --> 00:58:19,768
- but seduced by his mother.
- If he realizes anything at all.
786
00:58:19,960 --> 00:58:24,568
His father was his rival,
and he beat him with his mom's help.
787
00:58:25,800 --> 00:58:30,249
He has an unrealized sense of guilt
which he conceals with aggression
788
00:58:30,440 --> 00:58:34,365
How come men agree to have
their children taken away from them?
789
00:58:34,560 --> 00:58:37,484
Why don't they fucking fight back?
790
00:58:41,520 --> 00:58:43,727
If a man loves a woman...
791
00:58:44,240 --> 00:58:46,083
he stands no chance.
792
00:58:46,560 --> 00:58:49,086
Coz she'll always love the kid more.
793
00:59:18,880 --> 00:59:22,680
Some male insects don't even have
an alimentary canal.
794
00:59:26,280 --> 00:59:29,329
They'rejust a one time
reproductive device.
795
00:59:37,280 --> 00:59:40,284
They don't even get to eat
before they die.
796
00:59:44,080 --> 00:59:48,210
A male may have a pretty tail,
but it's there to please a female.
797
00:59:48,920 --> 00:59:51,400
A male pheasant looks so cool
798
00:59:51,600 --> 00:59:53,728
just to attract predators.
799
00:59:57,680 --> 01:00:01,162
Having watched too much
of 'Animal Planet' recently?
800
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:04,642
Sun/eys show the mother's
the fucking backbone of a family.
801
01:00:04,840 --> 01:00:06,842
She does it with dirty tricks.
802
01:00:07,080 --> 01:00:10,243
She took over the children and
set them against the father.
803
01:00:10,440 --> 01:00:13,205
She humiliated him
and now is like Cerberus,
804
01:00:13,400 --> 01:00:16,165
guarding the door
and keeping him out.
805
01:00:23,560 --> 01:00:26,484
Why don't women want
to help their husbands?
806
01:00:26,680 --> 01:00:30,287
So that everything falls apart
to prove you're no good.
807
01:00:31,480 --> 01:00:34,609
Mothers don't really want
their husbands back.
808
01:00:34,800 --> 01:00:38,407
They don't want to share
their authority over the child.
809
01:00:39,080 --> 01:00:42,641
The child's told
his father's a nobody,
810
01:00:44,400 --> 01:00:46,880
and it's hard to be nobody's child.
811
01:00:48,240 --> 01:00:51,642
- We live in a fatherless society.
- 97%...
812
01:00:51,840 --> 01:00:54,764
of kids after a divorce
stay with their mothers.
813
01:00:55,080 --> 01:00:59,722
The court needs time to see
that the father's a pedophile or sadist.
814
01:01:00,240 --> 01:01:03,483
In 97% of broken homes
815
01:01:03,680 --> 01:01:08,163
it's the fathers who are bad,
irresponsible, helpless, and uncaring
816
01:01:09,880 --> 01:01:12,042
Judges claim to be impartial,
817
01:01:12,240 --> 01:01:15,642
but it's enough for a kid to draw
its dad a little aside...
818
01:01:17,360 --> 01:01:21,604
and they rule that the father has
poor contact with his offspring.
819
01:01:22,360 --> 01:01:25,569
Aforensic examination proves
the mother beats up the kid,
820
01:01:25,800 --> 01:01:27,404
but it stays in her custody.
821
01:01:27,600 --> 01:01:31,650
If the kid's not yours though,
they'll stick it to you right away.
822
01:01:33,760 --> 01:01:37,162
Some broad claimed
she had my friend's kid.
823
01:01:37,440 --> 01:01:39,886
- It wasn't his?
- I don't know
824
01:01:40,080 --> 01:01:43,368
The bitch came up with it,
once he started earning big time,
825
01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:45,801
- and the kid was 7.
- Holy fuck.
826
01:01:46,440 --> 01:01:49,046
The broad brought her booboo
for the hearing.
827
01:01:49,240 --> 01:01:51,481
- Say who?
And he's a redhead!
828
01:01:51,720 --> 01:01:53,722
- And the dude?
- Black.
829
01:01:53,920 --> 01:01:56,764
- A Negro?
- No, just black-haired.
830
01:01:57,360 --> 01:01:59,169
Her partner is there, too.
831
01:01:59,360 --> 01:02:02,762
He's fiery red and the kid
is his spitting image.
832
01:02:03,480 --> 01:02:04,925
Unfucking believable.
833
01:02:05,120 --> 01:02:08,647
The weasels and the kid
sit on a bench like soccer fans.
834
01:02:08,800 --> 01:02:12,043
Thejudge can see
they're chips off the same block,
835
01:02:12,240 --> 01:02:15,767
but still she affiliates
the red snot nose to my black buddy,
836
01:02:15,960 --> 01:02:19,760
along with the reimbursement
and a gigantic alimony to go with it.
837
01:02:20,000 --> 01:02:23,083
Everybody knows the judge
and the bitch studied together,
838
01:02:23,280 --> 01:02:27,444
and you are fucked, coz a man
in a family court is always screwed.
839
01:02:35,320 --> 01:02:38,802
It's hard to acknowledge that
we're discriminated against.
840
01:02:39,000 --> 01:02:41,606
That'd be like revealing
our weakness.
841
01:02:41,800 --> 01:02:45,043
- We mustn't be weak.
- A boy doesn't cry.
842
01:02:45,200 --> 01:02:47,806
He cries... inside.
843
01:02:49,600 --> 01:02:54,322
So when we're victimized by women,
no one takes our complaints seriously.
844
01:02:55,600 --> 01:02:57,728
Coz it's never serious.
845
01:03:01,160 --> 01:03:03,049
My wife beats me.
846
01:03:03,840 --> 01:03:05,922
Are you kidding?
847
01:03:07,520 --> 01:03:09,522
Only when I deserve it
848
01:03:09,760 --> 01:03:11,250
Fuck! How?
849
01:03:11,400 --> 01:03:13,368
- With a leash.
- What?
850
01:03:13,640 --> 01:03:15,085
A dog-leash.
851
01:03:16,440 --> 01:03:17,965
Right in the face.
852
01:03:19,080 --> 01:03:20,286
Damn!
853
01:03:21,960 --> 01:03:24,884
I filed a complaint
at the police station.
854
01:03:25,080 --> 01:03:26,366
And?
855
01:03:27,440 --> 01:03:30,125
The cops were laughing
their asses off.
856
01:03:36,840 --> 01:03:38,046
Pricks.
857
01:03:49,760 --> 01:03:52,127
I need to be silent for a minute.
858
01:04:10,120 --> 01:04:12,043
As for honesty...
859
01:04:18,200 --> 01:04:22,205
Firstly, when you meet a woman,
she needs to spit everything out.
860
01:04:22,720 --> 01:04:24,131
And secondly?
861
01:04:24,560 --> 01:04:28,610
- When you think she's done...
- And drop your guard...
862
01:04:28,800 --> 01:04:30,848
She blasts you at your soft spot
863
01:04:31,080 --> 01:04:35,802
They must dump it all on us,
so that they could start from scratch.
864
01:04:36,560 --> 01:04:40,531
Like the past doesn't matter,
coz she confessed it to you.
865
01:04:41,080 --> 01:04:43,845
From then on you must
carry the burden alone
866
01:04:44,080 --> 01:04:47,846
and torture yourself with what she
told you. - Maybe once.
867
01:04:56,720 --> 01:04:59,291
"I hadn't been
with anyone for 7 years."
868
01:04:59,520 --> 01:05:02,603
I told her that
once we went steady.
869
01:05:02,760 --> 01:05:05,127
She replies "Nor have I".
870
01:05:05,640 --> 01:05:10,202
So I think "Two halves
of the same apple have come together."
871
01:05:10,760 --> 01:05:15,163
And then she says "Well, maybe once."
872
01:05:16,880 --> 01:05:20,089
What do you mean?"
I ask stiffening a bit.
873
01:05:20,280 --> 01:05:24,171
- "That meant nothing" says she.
- It may have been nothing,
874
01:05:24,720 --> 01:05:27,087
but still it keeps bugging me.
875
01:05:27,280 --> 01:05:31,808
So some time later I say to her
"We must be open about our problems,"
876
01:05:32,600 --> 01:05:36,525
"and my problem now is
that one time thing of yours."
877
01:05:36,720 --> 01:05:41,089
- It might have happened once only.
- It might, but this "once" matters.
878
01:05:44,000 --> 01:05:46,571
I ask her what it was
- "It was nothing."
879
01:05:46,720 --> 01:05:50,691
"What do you mean 'nothing'?
What about this "once?"
880
01:05:50,880 --> 01:05:55,169
She says they just kissed.
"Just kissed". Jesus Christ!
881
01:05:55,840 --> 01:05:58,127
Kissing is the most important thing!
882
01:05:58,320 --> 01:06:01,767
Kissing is the most spiritual
form of intercourse.
883
01:06:01,960 --> 01:06:05,089
I didn't tell her that,
884
01:06:05,280 --> 01:06:07,408
but it bothers me till today.
885
01:06:08,800 --> 01:06:11,929
- It'd bother everyone.
- I keep asking like a fool.
886
01:06:12,120 --> 01:06:15,761
I ask her how it was.
She says it was quite nice.
887
01:06:16,360 --> 01:06:19,330
"But, of course, not as nice
as it is with you."
888
01:06:19,560 --> 01:06:23,929
So it's nicer with me, but still that
was nice too. "Quite nice."
889
01:06:26,280 --> 01:06:30,365
So each time I kiss her,
it's like kissing that other guy.
890
01:06:31,080 --> 01:06:34,129
No! I always try to kiss her
better than he did.
891
01:06:34,320 --> 01:06:37,403
But I don't even know
howthe fuck he kissed her!
892
01:06:37,600 --> 01:06:41,605
So I exaggerate trying, I stop
being myself, and she's confused,
893
01:06:41,800 --> 01:06:45,327
while I become him kissing her.
894
01:06:46,440 --> 01:06:48,442
I'm trying so hard,
895
01:06:48,640 --> 01:06:51,962
so she asks "What are you doing?"
"Kissing you", I reply.
896
01:06:52,200 --> 01:06:55,807
"You're kind of drilling my mouth."
Fucking shit!
897
01:07:06,080 --> 01:07:10,210
They just have to tell you everything
once you come home.
898
01:07:17,920 --> 01:07:20,161
I come dead fucking tired from work.
899
01:07:20,360 --> 01:07:23,728
I barely put my slippers on,
and there she goes.
900
01:07:29,200 --> 01:07:31,680
She'll talk you to death,
901
01:07:32,240 --> 01:07:35,164
before you put the other slipper on.
902
01:07:36,360 --> 01:07:37,691
Kids.
903
01:07:38,760 --> 01:07:40,125
Garbage.
904
01:07:40,880 --> 01:07:42,245
Taps.
905
01:07:43,520 --> 01:07:44,851
Craps.
906
01:07:45,480 --> 01:07:46,766
Everything.
907
01:07:47,760 --> 01:07:50,604
- No exceptionses.
- Exceptions.
908
01:07:52,200 --> 01:07:53,770
Exceptionses.
909
01:07:56,720 --> 01:07:59,041
I'm still looking for a wife.
910
01:08:01,480 --> 01:08:02,891
You got one.
911
01:08:03,640 --> 01:08:06,371
I'm looking for that special one.
912
01:08:07,600 --> 01:08:09,728
That's why I stare at women
913
01:08:12,120 --> 01:08:14,851
In fact I'm also waiting
for the right one.
914
01:08:16,200 --> 01:08:17,690
I go to a park.
915
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:20,491
With your wifey?
916
01:08:21,200 --> 01:08:23,328
That too, sometimes.
917
01:08:23,520 --> 01:08:26,046
I check out the chicks.
"Maybe this one..."
918
01:08:26,680 --> 01:08:28,569
Her ass is so cute.
919
01:08:28,760 --> 01:08:32,651
With a nice crinkle on her skirt
jumping between her buttocks.
920
01:08:36,200 --> 01:08:38,965
You wanna find a wife
looking at her back?
921
01:08:39,160 --> 01:08:42,369
Or maybe the one
strolling down the alley...
922
01:08:42,560 --> 01:08:46,531
with misty blue eyes
below a fringe of blond hair?
923
01:08:46,720 --> 01:08:49,769
She's perfect.
Some twenty-year-old.
924
01:08:50,960 --> 01:08:54,646
But what will I tell her dad?
- What will he tell you?
925
01:08:57,440 --> 01:09:00,887
Whenever I pass a girl like that,
I start making faces,
926
01:09:01,080 --> 01:09:04,801
pretending I'm better, more sensitive
and prettier than I really am.
927
01:09:05,000 --> 01:09:08,209
I lick my lips
to make them look fresh,
928
01:09:08,400 --> 01:09:12,325
- and puff them out like a faggot.
- Watch that, or they may sue you.
929
01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:15,763
- I part my lips like a pussy.
- 'Gay', not a 'faggot'.
930
01:09:15,920 --> 01:09:20,164
I make sweet eyes. In a word,
I try to showthat I'm not who I am
931
01:09:23,280 --> 01:09:26,727
What's most common now'?
A hottie - tiny ass,
932
01:09:26,920 --> 01:09:30,527
walking lightly on high heels.
Pretty classy, you'd say.
933
01:09:30,720 --> 01:09:33,690
And next to her walks
that sloppy pork chop.
934
01:09:34,560 --> 01:09:37,291
What do they see
in those shaven heads?
935
01:09:37,480 --> 01:09:39,642
Pig faces are in fashion.
936
01:09:39,840 --> 01:09:42,923
I didn't see so many boars
even in Russia.
937
01:09:43,720 --> 01:09:46,530
It's a whole new population of boars
938
01:09:47,680 --> 01:09:51,685
intelligentsia stewed to death.
Rednecks multiplied like vermin.
939
01:09:51,880 --> 01:09:54,042
The Polish Boers' Republic.
940
01:09:57,440 --> 01:10:00,284
Could she just not tell me that then?!
941
01:10:13,600 --> 01:10:15,807
An those bags of theirs...
942
01:10:16,000 --> 01:10:19,891
Once they start looking
for their car keys in them...
943
01:10:22,680 --> 01:10:25,445
Why did I ask her about that, man?
944
01:10:27,760 --> 01:10:29,330
I tell her:
945
01:10:29,520 --> 01:10:33,286
"You've been looking for those keys
for over 3 years."
946
01:10:33,480 --> 01:10:36,131
- Keys?
- In the blistering cold.
947
01:10:36,320 --> 01:10:38,527
"I did put them in there."
948
01:10:38,720 --> 01:10:40,324
"Do you love me?"
949
01:10:40,480 --> 01:10:41,891
"Very mu ch."
950
01:10:42,080 --> 01:10:45,607
"So always put them
in the same pocket in your bag."
951
01:10:45,800 --> 01:10:48,690
But it seems
she doesn't love me that much.
952
01:10:48,880 --> 01:10:52,282
- Mine puts her keys in one pocket.
- But?
953
01:10:52,480 --> 01:10:55,563
There's a hole in it,
so it's fucking bullshit.
954
01:10:55,760 --> 01:10:58,889
In the movies, she looks
for her lipstick for 1 hour
955
01:10:59,120 --> 01:11:02,044
and then for the rest
of the show puts it back in.
956
01:11:02,240 --> 01:11:06,529
Who the fuck would notice in the dark
that she wears no lipstick?
957
01:11:10,160 --> 01:11:11,969
Generally, fucking shit, man.
958
01:11:12,160 --> 01:11:15,846
A woman's bag
is a fucking nightmare, shitty crap.
959
01:11:16,000 --> 01:11:20,562
I pray in church to control my anger,
960
01:11:20,720 --> 01:11:24,042
fucking hell!
And to overcome my fucking trauma,
961
01:11:24,200 --> 01:11:26,726
but then she starts searching her bag,
962
01:11:26,960 --> 01:11:30,089
as if trying to catch a rat
that's hiding in it.
963
01:11:30,280 --> 01:11:33,648
She rattles and rattles and all my
prayers go to fucking hell.
964
01:11:33,840 --> 01:11:35,808
- Hats off!
Pardon me?
965
01:11:36,000 --> 01:11:39,163
No more hats in church.
If women want to be equal to men,
966
01:11:39,360 --> 01:11:42,443
- no more hats, toques, caps...
- Kepis.
967
01:11:43,440 --> 01:11:46,683
Kepis...
scarves, or even headbands
968
01:11:48,560 --> 01:11:52,804
And, of course, we're expected
to be sexual titans.
969
01:11:53,000 --> 01:11:56,163
Don't they ridicule us enough
on these matters.
970
01:11:56,320 --> 01:11:58,607
Constantly complaining!
971
01:11:58,760 --> 01:12:01,161
Is your wife complaining about you?
972
01:12:02,680 --> 01:12:04,728
I made a general remark.
973
01:12:06,000 --> 01:12:09,800
More and more men
are afraid to fail in bed.
974
01:12:10,480 --> 01:12:13,643
They're victims of the myth
of a steel penis.
975
01:12:13,880 --> 01:12:17,282
They think they should be able
to penetrate women
976
01:12:17,440 --> 01:12:19,408
at their beck and call.
977
01:12:19,560 --> 01:12:22,723
That precisely makes a penis...
978
01:12:23,600 --> 01:12:25,090
apiece of play-dough.
979
01:12:37,080 --> 01:12:39,970
They treat us as handicapped in bed.
980
01:12:40,160 --> 01:12:42,288
They call men studs.
981
01:12:43,240 --> 01:12:45,686
We are like objects to be consumed.
982
01:12:46,320 --> 01:12:50,211
She shows you an article with tips
on how to give her an orgasm,
983
01:12:50,400 --> 01:12:53,370
and demands you do it
step by step.
984
01:12:54,960 --> 01:12:59,045
They watch soap operas, where life's
a fable and everyone makes a fortune,
985
01:12:59,240 --> 01:13:02,847
so they expect you to be
their provider... their delivery boy.
986
01:13:03,720 --> 01:13:06,883
Women never want men
with no dough.
987
01:13:07,560 --> 01:13:10,086
They don't wanna be with weak men.
988
01:13:11,080 --> 01:13:14,721
They should try to love men,
not to understand them.
989
01:13:17,240 --> 01:13:21,211
Wasn't that about women?
The other way round?
990
01:13:21,440 --> 01:13:24,205
Everything was
the other way round once.
991
01:13:24,440 --> 01:13:25,930
Long fucking...
992
01:13:26,760 --> 01:13:28,364
quick peeing.
993
01:13:34,640 --> 01:13:38,361
They submit everything about us
to endless testing,
994
01:13:38,560 --> 01:13:41,643
from our wallets
to our performance in bed
995
01:13:41,840 --> 01:13:46,528
Coz we have to pop wood,
and all they do is just lie down.
996
01:13:49,200 --> 01:13:51,089
That's simple.
997
01:13:51,240 --> 01:13:54,687
We gotta have a stander,
and they can just lie down.
998
01:13:55,440 --> 01:13:57,169
Sweet.
999
01:13:57,480 --> 01:13:59,801
Everyone can lie down.
1000
01:14:01,080 --> 01:14:03,731
Or she's thinking
about something else.
1001
01:14:03,920 --> 01:14:06,048
During the act.
1002
01:14:10,480 --> 01:14:14,963
You know what you gotta do
to make her scream long after the act?
1003
01:14:16,560 --> 01:14:18,164
No way.
1004
01:14:18,680 --> 01:14:21,160
Wipe your dick on the curtain.
1005
01:14:28,600 --> 01:14:30,648
And after having sex...
1006
01:14:30,800 --> 01:14:33,804
you're exhausted
and she's even more lively.
1007
01:14:33,960 --> 01:14:36,281
You're dead, and she's aroused.
1008
01:14:36,480 --> 01:14:39,848
You'd like to go to sleep,
and she'd like to ramble.
1009
01:14:40,000 --> 01:14:42,446
You need to be alone sometimes.
1010
01:14:42,600 --> 01:14:45,968
And she needs closeness
and exclusivity.
1011
01:14:47,760 --> 01:14:50,730
And that constant "Do you love me?"
1012
01:14:51,720 --> 01:14:53,882
I fucking do!
1013
01:14:56,480 --> 01:14:59,450
What matters is
whether she feels loved.
1014
01:14:59,600 --> 01:15:01,762
I may tell her that a million times,
1015
01:15:02,000 --> 01:15:06,289
but if she doesn't feel it, there's
no fucking use anyway. Simple.
1016
01:15:06,480 --> 01:15:08,721
Coz chicks like words...
1017
01:15:09,160 --> 01:15:11,083
and men like actions.
1018
01:15:11,200 --> 01:15:15,808
I may love her all right,
but not necessarily when she asks
1019
01:15:35,080 --> 01:15:36,570
What?
1020
01:15:41,920 --> 01:15:43,649
I'm just thinking
1021
01:15:44,960 --> 01:15:48,442
- about all those full condos...
- Condoms.
1022
01:15:49,200 --> 01:15:52,841
With sperm cast
into garbage dumpsters.
1023
01:15:54,800 --> 01:15:55,881
Yeah?
1024
01:15:57,360 --> 01:16:01,922
Shit... you could be one of them.
1025
01:16:04,000 --> 01:16:05,286
What?
1026
01:16:05,480 --> 01:16:07,050
Condoms?
1027
01:16:07,720 --> 01:16:09,449
Sperm! That is.
1028
01:16:13,520 --> 01:16:16,285
But you, obviously, weren't cast away.
1029
01:16:23,000 --> 01:16:24,889
Maybe I was.
1030
01:16:25,560 --> 01:16:27,688
And I'm somebody else.
1031
01:16:42,280 --> 01:16:44,760
A human's basic genetic program
is female.
1032
01:16:44,960 --> 01:16:46,200
Bullshit.
1033
01:16:46,960 --> 01:16:50,885
And the essence of masculinity,
the Y chromosome is shrinking.
1034
01:16:53,080 --> 01:16:55,048
It is getting smaller.
1035
01:16:56,240 --> 01:16:59,847
You know that intelligence is
passed on the distafi side?
1036
01:17:00,080 --> 01:17:01,491
Stop bullshitting.
1037
01:17:01,680 --> 01:17:05,480
The mother's genes develop the part
of the brain cherished the most:
1038
01:17:05,640 --> 01:17:09,326
- the cerebrum.
- Don't fucking do it to me, man!
1039
01:17:09,560 --> 01:17:13,963
And basic instincts and emotions
we mainly inherit from fathers...
1040
01:17:14,840 --> 01:17:18,606
- That's Why I'm pissed all the time.
- But intelligence...
1041
01:17:19,920 --> 01:17:21,410
from mothers.
1042
01:17:29,880 --> 01:17:31,484
Oh! LOOK!
1043
01:17:31,680 --> 01:17:33,409
Some chick is yawning.
1044
01:17:33,960 --> 01:17:35,371
Bare belly button!
1045
01:17:35,600 --> 01:17:39,650
That's some yawning whore
- She's not a whore. I think.
1046
01:17:42,360 --> 01:17:45,330
Not a whore but yawns like a whore!
- True.
1047
01:17:45,520 --> 01:17:48,126
- She won't cover it.
- Belly button?
1048
01:17:48,320 --> 01:17:50,243
Won't cover her mouth, that is.
1049
01:17:52,160 --> 01:17:55,403
What a mug, I've seen her somewhere
1050
01:17:59,920 --> 01:18:02,730
- She's waving. Stop.
- What for? - We'll take her.
1051
01:18:05,280 --> 01:18:07,601
Chicks are the weaker sex.
1052
01:18:07,760 --> 01:18:11,731
And if it's so,
I owe' em support and care
1053
01:18:12,480 --> 01:18:15,484
For the sake of self-respect, at least!
1054
01:18:23,520 --> 01:18:25,443
Not bad, she is.
1055
01:18:34,160 --> 01:18:36,606
- Mug - you said.
- Only when yawning.
1056
01:18:38,240 --> 01:18:40,322
She's yawning all the time.
1057
01:18:45,120 --> 01:18:47,885
Where do you... would you like to go?
1058
01:18:48,080 --> 01:18:51,448
We're heading to Ohicksville
Do you want a lift?
1059
01:18:53,440 --> 01:18:56,091
We'll take you wherever you want.
1060
01:18:56,960 --> 01:18:58,200
No worries.
1061
01:18:59,760 --> 01:19:02,286
You could keep on yawning.
1062
01:19:03,000 --> 01:19:05,685
And rummaging in your purse,
searching.
1063
01:19:16,680 --> 01:19:20,446
It's very good for oxygenation,
supposedly!
1064
01:19:24,120 --> 01:19:29,286
And since you are yawning it proves
you feel safe with us, relaxed.
1065
01:19:31,440 --> 01:19:33,681
We are half way...
1066
01:19:33,880 --> 01:19:36,645
The time is flowing as we go beyond...
1067
01:19:36,800 --> 01:19:39,644
"you are captured in memory fond."
1068
01:19:49,800 --> 01:19:50,722
And...?
1069
01:19:55,440 --> 01:19:57,044
She won't go.
1070
01:19:59,080 --> 01:20:02,050
She is a fucking stupid cunt,
deaf maybe.
1071
01:20:19,280 --> 01:20:20,691
Oh, sorry.
1072
01:20:20,880 --> 01:20:23,884
It must be a blood circulation problem.
1073
01:20:26,760 --> 01:20:29,127
What? Why didn't I get in?
1074
01:20:30,120 --> 01:20:32,771
I know well this tale.
1075
01:20:33,480 --> 01:20:34,686
That tale...
1076
01:20:35,360 --> 01:20:37,761
For the next 20 years...
1077
01:20:39,080 --> 01:20:41,970
And they lived long and unhappy...
1078
01:20:43,280 --> 01:20:45,647
never being their real selves
1079
01:20:45,800 --> 01:20:47,768
when with each other.
1080
01:20:54,880 --> 01:20:56,530
Let's go.
1081
01:20:58,200 --> 01:21:00,043
"Nobody's calling."
1082
01:21:01,320 --> 01:21:03,163
Even a chick.
1083
01:21:04,160 --> 01:21:06,561
Even a chick on a black man.
1084
01:21:11,400 --> 01:21:15,086
I think all this feminism comes
from not getting banged enough.
1085
01:21:16,560 --> 01:21:18,289
That's possible.
1086
01:21:19,360 --> 01:21:24,048
Have you seen a well fucked chick
that'd fight for something, anything?
1087
01:21:25,320 --> 01:21:27,482
Isn't that a simplification?
1088
01:21:27,720 --> 01:21:30,963
I mean, not getting banged
enough in psychological sense.
1089
01:21:32,400 --> 01:21:35,722
For me, a well fucked chick is one
who feels:
1090
01:21:35,920 --> 01:21:37,649
A) desired,
1091
01:21:38,160 --> 01:21:39,889
b) safe,
1092
01:21:40,080 --> 01:21:43,880
c) evolving.
With a guy she feels that, those.
1093
01:21:44,480 --> 01:21:48,769
If she feels like that, it means
I fucked her well.
1094
01:21:49,760 --> 01:21:54,641
And if she doesn't experience this
with me, it means I fucked up.
1095
01:21:54,840 --> 01:21:57,844
I screwed up her and our relationship.
1096
01:22:07,840 --> 01:22:10,684
Our entire life we sacrifice for women.
1097
01:22:12,080 --> 01:22:13,650
First for our mother...
1098
01:22:13,880 --> 01:22:15,882
- Then...
- For granny...
1099
01:22:16,080 --> 01:22:18,048
Granny? No.
1100
01:22:20,800 --> 01:22:22,643
For girlfriends...
1101
01:22:23,760 --> 01:22:25,489
fiancees...
1102
01:22:26,000 --> 01:22:28,446
wives... lovers...
1103
01:22:29,360 --> 01:22:30,771
women.
1104
01:22:32,800 --> 01:22:36,247
For those who left me, dropped me,
failed me...
1105
01:22:37,440 --> 01:22:39,488
just to show them.
1106
01:22:40,200 --> 01:22:44,285
For those I'm presently with
- The same, to impress them.
1107
01:22:46,960 --> 01:22:51,363
For those I dream of, or wait for
and know not their faces yet...
1108
01:22:52,880 --> 01:22:54,564
to deserve'em...
1109
01:22:59,560 --> 01:23:02,211
Half way through my life
1110
01:23:02,920 --> 01:23:06,049
my path led me astray
into a deep dark forest.”
1111
01:23:07,800 --> 01:23:11,805
I have been doing everything
for them, and in fact, I still do.
1112
01:23:18,240 --> 01:23:21,289
If one day women
disappeared from the earth,
1113
01:23:21,760 --> 01:23:24,923
I'd find no reason to get out of bed.
1114
01:23:27,440 --> 01:23:30,808
Even the Pope directed his last words
to a woman.
1115
01:23:32,000 --> 01:23:33,729
Old cunt.
1116
01:23:34,840 --> 01:23:38,322
"How'?! Wasn't it
“Let me go to the Lord?!"
1117
01:23:38,520 --> 01:23:40,522
"...return to the Lord."
1118
01:23:41,920 --> 01:23:44,287
But he said it to Sister Tobiana.
1119
01:23:45,760 --> 01:23:47,125
Fuck me!
1120
01:23:49,960 --> 01:23:52,531
And the first believer was a woman.
1121
01:23:53,160 --> 01:23:55,970
- Was she?
- First believer: Holy Mary.
1122
01:23:57,000 --> 01:23:58,411
Oh, Jesus.
1123
01:23:58,920 --> 01:24:02,766
Mary Magdalene is nowadays called
the apostle of apostles.
1124
01:24:02,960 --> 01:24:05,884
She's standing
over the male disciples.
1125
01:24:06,560 --> 01:24:08,688
You're going over the top.
1126
01:24:10,080 --> 01:24:13,641
Women followed Jesus
up to the cross on Golgotha.
1127
01:24:15,000 --> 01:24:19,244
Of all the guys only John reached
the top of the hill on his own will.
1128
01:24:19,440 --> 01:24:22,125
- The rest burnt fucking rubbers.
- I beg you!
1129
01:24:27,080 --> 01:24:30,050
- Do something!
- What can I do to a woman?!
1130
01:24:32,320 --> 01:24:33,731
Fuck!
1131
01:24:39,600 --> 01:24:41,045
Old cunt.
1132
01:24:47,080 --> 01:24:49,970
By the way,
I was supposed to be a girl.
1133
01:24:51,560 --> 01:24:54,370
Me too, I mean, two girls.
1134
01:25:01,800 --> 01:25:06,283
- Why do they say "female wind"?
- 'Cause it blows the fuck out of you.
1135
01:25:13,320 --> 01:25:17,803
So I'm getting near to Guysville,
but I don't know which way to turn.
1136
01:25:18,320 --> 01:25:19,970
What fight?
1137
01:25:20,600 --> 01:25:22,841
Ah, I get it, to the right?
1138
01:25:25,520 --> 01:25:27,841
Okay, you mean left.
1139
01:25:28,680 --> 01:25:30,808
I'll turn left. See ya.
1140
01:25:33,160 --> 01:25:36,960
- She signals right and turns left...
- But soon she'll turn right.
1141
01:25:37,120 --> 01:25:38,406
No.
1142
01:25:38,600 --> 01:25:43,288
- Watch it - it's a chick, for sure.
Maybe she'll turn where she turns
1143
01:25:43,760 --> 01:25:46,411
Turn where she turns,
she'll go to the other side
1144
01:25:46,600 --> 01:25:48,967
Sometimes they
turn where they turn
1145
01:25:49,160 --> 01:25:51,367
- Do the opposite!
- She does too.
1146
01:25:51,520 --> 01:25:52,646
- Flash!
- Done!
1147
01:25:52,840 --> 01:25:54,046
- Honk!
- Done!
1148
01:25:54,200 --> 01:25:56,043
- To the side!
- She too!
1149
01:25:56,200 --> 01:25:58,202
- Fuck!
- Fucking chick!
1150
01:25:58,440 --> 01:26:00,647
She's turning where she's turning
- Impossible.
1151
01:26:00,840 --> 01:26:03,047
- She's the one who does it.
- So we're...
1152
01:26:03,200 --> 01:26:04,611
Fucked!
1153
01:26:18,200 --> 01:26:20,362
And what's with the chick?
1154
01:26:21,080 --> 01:26:22,809
She's driven away.
1155
01:26:25,720 --> 01:26:28,121
And we'll be cut out with...
1156
01:26:29,920 --> 01:26:31,445
acetylene...
1157
01:26:54,880 --> 01:26:57,451
English dialogues:
Agata Deka, Adam Felin'ski94458
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