Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:06,500 --> 00:00:07,936
NARRATOR: Previously on Deadbeat:
2
00:00:07,936 --> 00:00:11,075
My guest today is celebrated
paranormal communicator,
3
00:00:11,142 --> 00:00:12,812
Camomile White.
4
00:00:12,879 --> 00:00:14,850
I see him. I see your grandfather.
5
00:00:14,916 --> 00:00:17,856
He died trying to save the store.
6
00:00:17,922 --> 00:00:19,726
I hated this place.
7
00:00:19,793 --> 00:00:21,797
- She just made that all up?
- WOMAN: Excuse me.
8
00:00:21,864 --> 00:00:23,734
We're having a moment here.
9
00:00:23,801 --> 00:00:26,672
Your grandfather didn't die
trying to save the store.
10
00:00:26,739 --> 00:00:28,209
He died trying to light it on fire.
11
00:00:30,580 --> 00:00:31,983
I don't know who you are.
12
00:00:32,051 --> 00:00:34,622
But if you ever pull a
stunt like that again...
13
00:00:40,534 --> 00:00:42,036
ANNOUNCER: In the
criminal justice system,
14
00:00:42,103 --> 00:00:43,673
there are crimes that can land you in jail
15
00:00:43,740 --> 00:00:45,610
for more than one year
16
00:00:45,677 --> 00:00:47,781
and crimes that can land you
in jail for less than one year.
17
00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:50,119
Or possibly just result in a small fine.
18
00:00:50,186 --> 00:00:52,991
These are the crimes
that could go either way.
19
00:00:54,861 --> 00:00:56,531
Bad news, dirtbag.
20
00:00:56,598 --> 00:00:59,237
That's over five hundos in stolen merch.
21
00:00:59,304 --> 00:01:01,006
It's grand larceny.
22
00:01:01,073 --> 00:01:03,312
You're going away for a long time.
23
00:01:03,579 --> 00:01:05,716
Detective, you're gonna wanna hear this.
24
00:01:05,783 --> 00:01:07,319
DETECTIVE: What do you got for me?
25
00:01:07,587 --> 00:01:08,922
One of the stolen items is on sale.
26
00:01:08,989 --> 00:01:10,592
Total value of the stolen merch is 490.
27
00:01:10,659 --> 00:01:12,329
It's petty theft.
28
00:01:12,596 --> 00:01:14,133
It's a misdemeanor.
29
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:17,272
A sale item, that is genius.
30
00:01:17,539 --> 00:01:19,276
Where do they come up with this stuff?
31
00:01:19,543 --> 00:01:21,547
(Door knocking )
32
00:01:22,949 --> 00:01:24,786
Well, that's a dainty little knock.
33
00:01:27,024 --> 00:01:28,761
- Hi.
- Hi, I'm Sue
34
00:01:28,828 --> 00:01:30,565
from Camomile White's office?
35
00:01:30,632 --> 00:01:32,802
A couple of days ago,
you vomited all over her?
36
00:01:32,869 --> 00:01:34,940
Yeah, I remember very well.
37
00:01:35,007 --> 00:01:37,913
You also soiled her Pierre
le Soixante pantsuit.
38
00:01:37,979 --> 00:01:39,850
- Her what?
- Her pantsuit.
39
00:01:39,917 --> 00:01:42,989
She wanted me to give you
this dry-cleaning bill.
40
00:01:43,056 --> 00:01:45,694
For 25 bucks, what...?
41
00:01:45,761 --> 00:01:47,765
- I can't afford this, but...
- You seem like a nice guy.
42
00:01:47,831 --> 00:01:49,569
Just pay the bill.
43
00:01:49,635 --> 00:01:51,839
You do not wanna get on
this woman's bad side.
44
00:01:51,906 --> 00:01:54,612
Bad side? She already
kicked me in the nuts.
45
00:01:54,679 --> 00:01:56,649
It'll get worse. I'm sorry, I have to go.
46
00:01:56,716 --> 00:01:58,152
No. No, you don't.
47
00:01:58,219 --> 00:02:00,256
No, no, no. Listen, come
in, have some peanut butter.
48
00:02:00,323 --> 00:02:02,728
We'll sort it out over a nice
49
00:02:02,795 --> 00:02:05,166
spoonful of peanut butter.
50
00:02:08,372 --> 00:02:10,743
(Theme music playing)
51
00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:18,074
AmericasCardroom.com brings poker back
Million Dollar Sunday Tournament every Sunday
52
00:02:45,044 --> 00:02:46,714
What's up, Pac, how you living?
53
00:02:46,781 --> 00:02:49,085
Not very well, I fear, Roofie.
54
00:02:49,152 --> 00:02:51,991
I got this bill I can't afford.
55
00:02:52,058 --> 00:02:54,095
Don't know how to deal with
it, I got no one to turn to.
56
00:02:54,162 --> 00:02:56,166
The stress is really
having its way with me.
57
00:02:56,232 --> 00:02:58,970
So what are you saying is you
wanna borrow money from me?
58
00:02:59,038 --> 00:03:01,309
Money? No. Weed.
59
00:03:01,376 --> 00:03:03,780
You know, for the stress.
Were you listening?
60
00:03:03,847 --> 00:03:05,918
Look, Pac, I can't just
keep giving you weed.
61
00:03:05,984 --> 00:03:07,788
I'm a businessman.
62
00:03:07,855 --> 00:03:11,261
As your drug dealer, which the
idea is you pay me for drugs.
63
00:03:11,328 --> 00:03:13,867
Well, as my friend, can you loan
me money to pay for the drugs?
64
00:03:13,934 --> 00:03:15,203
How much you need?
65
00:03:15,269 --> 00:03:16,840
As my dealer, how much for an eighth?
66
00:03:16,906 --> 00:03:18,709
For a friend, 25 bucks.
67
00:03:18,776 --> 00:03:21,682
For 25 bucks, I could just pay
the stupid dry-cleaning bill.
68
00:03:21,749 --> 00:03:23,085
Roofie, can you loan me 25 bucks
69
00:03:23,152 --> 00:03:24,688
to pay this stupid dry-cleaning bill?
70
00:03:24,755 --> 00:03:26,392
I wanna help you out.
71
00:03:26,458 --> 00:03:28,929
But I can't just give you cash
every time you're in a bind.
72
00:03:28,996 --> 00:03:31,000
I got this hot morphine
connect down at St. Anfernee's.
73
00:03:31,067 --> 00:03:33,104
She said about some haunty
stuff going on down there.
74
00:03:33,171 --> 00:03:35,008
Maybe, you should pay her a visit.
75
00:03:37,947 --> 00:03:39,818
WOMAN: Thank you so much again for coming.
76
00:03:39,885 --> 00:03:41,454
Roofie spoke very highly of you.
77
00:03:41,721 --> 00:03:45,262
Well, he was very high when
he spoke of you too so...
78
00:03:45,328 --> 00:03:46,931
What's going on here?
79
00:03:46,999 --> 00:03:48,435
Just a lot of weird stuff
80
00:03:48,701 --> 00:03:50,705
like unplugged heart machines turning on
81
00:03:50,772 --> 00:03:54,179
and saline drip bags just
depleting for no reason.
82
00:03:54,246 --> 00:03:57,251
Have there been any deaths
in this particular hospital?
83
00:03:57,318 --> 00:03:59,255
Yeah, it's a hospital.
84
00:03:59,322 --> 00:04:02,028
- There's tens of thousands of deaths.
- I see.
85
00:04:05,969 --> 00:04:07,738
Oh, this is gonna be a
lot harder than I thought.
86
00:04:07,806 --> 00:04:10,411
Just to be clear, we
don't need you to exorcise
87
00:04:10,478 --> 00:04:12,048
the whole hospital. It's just one room.
88
00:04:12,114 --> 00:04:13,817
Just that?
89
00:04:13,884 --> 00:04:17,291
Yeah, it's the unofficial
hook-up room for the staff.
90
00:04:17,358 --> 00:04:20,764
So the nurses are willing
to pay whatever it takes.
91
00:04:20,831 --> 00:04:22,401
They are? That's great news.
92
00:04:22,468 --> 00:04:25,941
I'm so strapped for cash...
93
00:04:26,008 --> 00:04:28,246
I'm so strapped for time.
94
00:04:28,312 --> 00:04:29,448
Ain't no time for this.
95
00:04:29,515 --> 00:04:31,418
Honestly, you know. I'm in high demand.
96
00:04:31,485 --> 00:04:35,485
Job of this size, I would
have to charge about $100.
97
00:04:35,827 --> 00:04:36,862
A hundred dollars?
98
00:04:36,929 --> 00:04:38,900
- Okay, 50.
- Fifty?
99
00:04:38,966 --> 00:04:40,503
Twenty-five dollars, but not a penny more.
100
00:04:40,770 --> 00:04:43,074
- Great, deal.
- Deal.
101
00:04:43,141 --> 00:04:46,247
Good, I shan't let ye down, my lady.
102
00:04:46,314 --> 00:04:48,753
- Thank you.
- You are in good hands.
103
00:04:53,395 --> 00:04:55,198
Someone will clean that up, right?
104
00:05:12,031 --> 00:05:14,035
Excuse me, I was eating those.
105
00:05:14,102 --> 00:05:15,471
Not quickly enough, if you ask me.
106
00:05:15,538 --> 00:05:17,810
Oh, and who are you supposed to be?
107
00:05:17,876 --> 00:05:19,079
You see me?
108
00:05:19,145 --> 00:05:20,949
Is that your first or your last name?
109
00:05:21,016 --> 00:05:22,251
- What?
- What?
110
00:05:22,318 --> 00:05:24,456
No, I am Hiro Tamagachi.
111
00:05:24,522 --> 00:05:26,460
The professional hot dog eater?
112
00:05:26,526 --> 00:05:27,562
You died?
113
00:05:27,829 --> 00:05:28,831
Sadly, yes.
114
00:05:28,897 --> 00:05:30,167
My name is Kevin Pacalioglu
115
00:05:30,234 --> 00:05:31,903
and I'm here to finish
116
00:05:31,970 --> 00:05:33,374
any unfinished business you might have.
117
00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:35,010
Really? You do that for me?
118
00:05:35,076 --> 00:05:37,414
Yeah, for 25 bucks I'd
do just about anything..
119
00:05:37,482 --> 00:05:39,051
Well, right before I died,
120
00:05:39,118 --> 00:05:40,553
I was training for the most important
121
00:05:40,788 --> 00:05:42,190
eating competition of my life.
122
00:05:42,257 --> 00:05:44,028
BOTH: The Oinky's Hot Dog Invitational.
123
00:05:44,094 --> 00:05:45,263
- Exactly.
- I'm aware of it.
124
00:05:45,330 --> 00:05:46,900
I was all set to take back my title
125
00:05:46,967 --> 00:05:49,505
from my arch rival,
Johnny Praline, that prick.
126
00:05:49,571 --> 00:05:54,181
Well, I don't mean to sauer
your kraut, but you're a ghost.
127
00:05:54,248 --> 00:05:57,052
- Eating is kind of off the table.
- Here's the thing.
128
00:05:57,119 --> 00:05:59,324
A few years back, I signed
up to be an organ donor.
129
00:05:59,391 --> 00:06:02,864
And, after I died, they took
from me my most prized organ.
130
00:06:04,902 --> 00:06:06,906
Those bastards took your stomach.
131
00:06:06,972 --> 00:06:08,876
What? No, that's the good part, you idiot.
132
00:06:08,943 --> 00:06:10,112
What I'm trying to say is,
133
00:06:10,179 --> 00:06:13,485
I may be dead, but my stomach lives on.
134
00:06:13,552 --> 00:06:16,424
Find it, Kevin. Find
whoever has my stomach.
135
00:06:16,491 --> 00:06:18,995
And make them enter that
hot dog-eating contest.
136
00:06:25,100 --> 00:06:27,070
KEVIN: Hey, did the nurse
text you the address yet?
137
00:06:27,137 --> 00:06:28,539
No, man.
138
00:06:28,606 --> 00:06:30,210
Look, I'm gonna tell you when she text me.
139
00:06:30,277 --> 00:06:31,545
Why'd you give her my number anyway?
140
00:06:31,612 --> 00:06:33,249
Because she needs to get permission
141
00:06:33,316 --> 00:06:34,585
from Tomagachi's stomach recipient
142
00:06:34,652 --> 00:06:36,155
to set up a meeting.
143
00:06:36,222 --> 00:06:38,192
I'm saying, why did you
give the nurse my number?
144
00:06:38,259 --> 00:06:40,563
I don't have a number anymore.
145
00:06:40,630 --> 00:06:42,567
They shut off my cell phone weeks ago.
146
00:06:42,634 --> 00:06:44,571
Yeah, I've been living
off the grid, untrack-able.
147
00:06:44,638 --> 00:06:46,341
I'm a free man.
148
00:06:46,408 --> 00:06:47,711
It's not by choice.
149
00:06:47,778 --> 00:06:50,115
Excuse me, hey, bro,
it'd be good right here.
150
00:06:50,182 --> 00:06:52,653
All right, let's be cool here,
this client buys a lot of weed.
151
00:07:00,102 --> 00:07:02,239
Yo.
152
00:07:02,306 --> 00:07:04,410
- Yeah, you know, I'm like eyes in the sky.
- I hate that.
153
00:07:04,477 --> 00:07:05,612
- Don't you hate that?
- Yeah.
154
00:07:05,679 --> 00:07:06,781
Right?
155
00:07:12,092 --> 00:07:13,729
What is that?
156
00:07:13,795 --> 00:07:18,237
I call that one Spurious
Accusations and Lies.
157
00:07:18,304 --> 00:07:21,410
I would have called it Tiny Tower of Teeth.
158
00:07:21,477 --> 00:07:23,347
Or The Leaning Tower of Teeth-a.
159
00:07:25,118 --> 00:07:26,754
So what were you, like,
a dentist or something?
160
00:07:26,820 --> 00:07:30,193
I was an avant-garde-ist.
161
00:07:30,260 --> 00:07:32,097
And I put myself, literally,
162
00:07:32,164 --> 00:07:34,569
into every piece of work I ever made.
163
00:07:34,636 --> 00:07:38,576
Blood, sweat, jism diluted
with tears of happiness.
164
00:07:38,644 --> 00:07:40,280
That's jiz?
165
00:07:40,347 --> 00:07:42,351
That one's a mixed-media collage
166
00:07:42,418 --> 00:07:45,590
of pubic hair glued together
with pus from a sex wound.
167
00:07:45,657 --> 00:07:48,296
And that there, my masterpiece.
168
00:07:48,363 --> 00:07:49,432
For my swan song,
169
00:07:49,498 --> 00:07:51,636
I hung myself upside-down
170
00:07:51,702 --> 00:07:54,174
and exploded myself on a blank canvas.
171
00:07:54,240 --> 00:07:57,781
But those imbeciles
have hung it upside-down.
172
00:07:57,848 --> 00:07:59,384
ROOFIE: Yo.
173
00:07:59,451 --> 00:08:02,390
- The nurse texted me the address.
- Oh, good.
174
00:08:02,457 --> 00:08:04,094
Guess who's gonna be here Saturday night.
175
00:08:04,160 --> 00:08:05,396
James McAvoy?
176
00:08:05,463 --> 00:08:06,666
- I don't know.
- Who?
177
00:08:06,733 --> 00:08:08,802
No. Camomile White.
178
00:08:08,870 --> 00:08:10,539
Yes, she's doing, like, a séance.
179
00:08:10,606 --> 00:08:12,410
Channeling the spirit of Vesuvius,
180
00:08:12,477 --> 00:08:14,114
whatever his name is.
181
00:08:14,180 --> 00:08:16,585
The guy who did all this
pretentious ass-nice art.
182
00:08:16,651 --> 00:08:17,854
Vesuvius.
183
00:08:18,121 --> 00:08:19,791
You should go meet her.
184
00:08:19,858 --> 00:08:22,229
You know what, I think that ship has sank.
185
00:08:22,295 --> 00:08:24,299
I went to that book signing thing.
186
00:08:24,366 --> 00:08:26,170
And she can't see ghosts at all.
187
00:08:26,237 --> 00:08:28,141
- She's a total fake.
- What?
188
00:08:28,207 --> 00:08:29,577
- Yeah.
- Fake?
189
00:08:29,644 --> 00:08:30,148
Yeah.
190
00:08:30,173 --> 00:08:32,114
Hey, man, just hope her titties isn't fake.
191
00:08:32,115 --> 00:08:33,584
No, I don't know.
192
00:08:33,651 --> 00:08:36,357
Hard to tell when I was
throwing up all over them.
193
00:08:36,423 --> 00:08:38,528
I wrecked her Soixante pantsuit.
194
00:08:38,594 --> 00:08:42,168
Now she's sticking me with
this $25 dry-cleaning bill.
195
00:08:42,235 --> 00:08:43,804
- That's the bill you told me about?
- Yeah.
196
00:08:43,871 --> 00:08:45,842
- That's the bill? Twenty-five dollars?
- Yeah.
197
00:08:45,909 --> 00:08:49,315
Come on, man, Camomile White
don't need your $25, she's rich.
198
00:08:49,382 --> 00:08:50,752
She's power-moving you, man.
199
00:08:50,818 --> 00:08:52,421
- She's what?
- Power-playing.
200
00:08:52,488 --> 00:08:54,358
She's trying to assert
her dominance, that's all.
201
00:08:54,425 --> 00:08:56,429
- I don't like it when people do that.
- Yeah.
202
00:08:56,496 --> 00:08:57,831
Power-play me.
203
00:08:57,899 --> 00:08:59,435
You know what?
204
00:08:59,502 --> 00:09:01,406
She try to muscle me
with a dry-cleaning bill?
205
00:09:01,472 --> 00:09:03,877
Wait until she sees
what my counter-move is.
206
00:09:04,145 --> 00:09:06,148
And what move would that be?
207
00:09:06,216 --> 00:09:09,154
It's the least expected move there is.
208
00:09:09,221 --> 00:09:10,357
I'm gonna pay that bill.
209
00:09:10,424 --> 00:09:11,526
On time.
210
00:09:11,593 --> 00:09:13,295
In full.
211
00:09:13,362 --> 00:09:16,335
Now, if you'll excuse me, I
have a stomach to track down.
212
00:09:30,329 --> 00:09:31,498
I'm here about the stomach.
213
00:09:31,565 --> 00:09:33,402
- You're the guy.
- Yeah, I'm the guy.
214
00:09:33,469 --> 00:09:36,207
Menachem. Sit down, sit down.
215
00:09:36,274 --> 00:09:38,177
I didn't know what kind
of bagel you'd want.
216
00:09:38,244 --> 00:09:39,648
So I didn't get you any.
217
00:09:39,714 --> 00:09:41,752
Oh, can I settle on this?
Don't touch these bagels.
218
00:09:41,818 --> 00:09:43,254
Oh, since we're just sitting here,
219
00:09:43,321 --> 00:09:45,492
why don't I tell you a story?
220
00:09:45,558 --> 00:09:47,396
Every ghost needs closure
221
00:09:47,462 --> 00:09:48,966
and that's the whole
reason he's still here.
222
00:09:49,233 --> 00:09:50,468
It's an amazing story.
223
00:09:50,535 --> 00:09:52,372
And it definitely explains this appetite.
224
00:09:52,439 --> 00:09:54,910
I didn't even know you could
receive stomach transplants.
225
00:09:54,977 --> 00:09:58,418
Listen to me, I'm very
appreciative of this stomach.
226
00:09:58,484 --> 00:10:01,691
But this Oinky's hot
dog eating competition,
227
00:10:01,757 --> 00:10:02,926
that I can't do.
228
00:10:02,993 --> 00:10:04,229
Oh, you don't have to do it though.
229
00:10:04,296 --> 00:10:06,333
It's not even you. It's
Tamagachi's stomach.
230
00:10:06,399 --> 00:10:08,437
It's very well-trained, it
will do all the work for you.
231
00:10:08,503 --> 00:10:10,741
You don't get it. I can't...
232
00:10:10,809 --> 00:10:13,613
- Oinky's hot dogs, they're pork hot dogs.
- Yeah.
233
00:10:13,680 --> 00:10:14,649
I can't eat pork.
234
00:10:14,716 --> 00:10:15,984
What happens if you eat it?
235
00:10:16,252 --> 00:10:18,390
It's against my religion.
We don't eat pork.
236
00:10:18,457 --> 00:10:20,694
It's like breaking a contract with God.
237
00:10:20,761 --> 00:10:21,863
Who negotiated that?
238
00:10:21,930 --> 00:10:23,333
I'm not doing your competition
239
00:10:23,400 --> 00:10:25,336
and that's that, I'm sorry.
240
00:10:25,404 --> 00:10:27,641
No, no, no, you can do it.
241
00:10:27,708 --> 00:10:29,411
You can do it.
242
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,402
HIRO: He said no?
243
00:10:33,470 --> 00:10:35,406
After I saved his life
by donating my stomach?
244
00:10:35,473 --> 00:10:38,446
- I know, Hiro Tamagachi, I know.
- I have an idea.
245
00:10:38,512 --> 00:10:40,249
If you don't get that goddamn rabbi
246
00:10:40,316 --> 00:10:41,987
into that hot dog-eating contest,
247
00:10:42,053 --> 00:10:44,291
I'm gonna unplug every
feeding tube in this hospital.
248
00:10:44,358 --> 00:10:46,161
But that would mean...?
249
00:10:46,228 --> 00:10:47,430
Hundreds of innocent lives lost.
250
00:10:47,497 --> 00:10:48,833
All on your conscience.
251
00:10:48,899 --> 00:10:51,205
Oh, yeah. Yeah, that's bad.
252
00:10:51,271 --> 00:10:52,507
Why, what were you gonna say?
253
00:10:52,574 --> 00:10:54,511
No, nothing, I was just thinking that,
254
00:10:54,578 --> 00:10:56,482
if the hauntings got
worse, I wouldn't get paid
255
00:10:56,548 --> 00:10:58,986
and I wouldn't be able to
afford my dry-cleaning bill
256
00:10:59,053 --> 00:11:00,590
and Camomile would
basically win, but that...
257
00:11:00,857 --> 00:11:03,328
You know what, your thing is
probably a way bigger deal.
258
00:11:03,395 --> 00:11:05,098
Figure it out.
259
00:11:07,569 --> 00:11:09,975
SIMMONS: What was that?
We had him on grand theft.
260
00:11:10,042 --> 00:11:13,081
DETECTIVE 2: One bottle of
liquor. The rest was baby formula.
261
00:11:13,148 --> 00:11:15,084
So what are you saying?
Perp was a family man?
262
00:11:15,152 --> 00:11:16,554
Trying to provide?
263
00:11:16,621 --> 00:11:18,223
What I'm saying, Simmons, is sometimes,
264
00:11:18,291 --> 00:11:20,962
if no one gets hurt,
265
00:11:21,029 --> 00:11:23,902
and the motive is noble enough, sometimes,
266
00:11:26,540 --> 00:11:28,912
it just ain't worth the paperwork.
267
00:12:02,244 --> 00:12:04,248
- What are you doing here?
- I think I found the loophole.
268
00:12:04,314 --> 00:12:05,683
Are those Funyuns?
269
00:12:05,950 --> 00:12:06,952
Get out of here.
270
00:12:07,019 --> 00:12:08,121
- Give me one.
- No.
271
00:12:08,188 --> 00:12:09,558
All right, listen, listen, listen.
272
00:12:09,625 --> 00:12:11,194
In the criminal justice system,
273
00:12:11,261 --> 00:12:13,265
there are felonies and
there are misdemeanors.
274
00:12:13,331 --> 00:12:15,369
In Jewish, there has to be some sins
275
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,604
- that are worse than others, right?
- In Jewish.
276
00:12:16,672 --> 00:12:18,308
According to Yohakmet,
277
00:12:18,375 --> 00:12:20,112
this analogy you came up with,
278
00:12:20,179 --> 00:12:22,516
eating pork breaks the laws of kosher.
279
00:12:22,583 --> 00:12:25,055
- That's a felony.
- Okay, all right.
280
00:12:25,122 --> 00:12:28,261
But sometimes, if nobody gets hurt
281
00:12:28,328 --> 00:12:29,497
and the motive is noble enough,
282
00:12:29,564 --> 00:12:31,267
it just ain't worth the paperwork.
283
00:12:31,334 --> 00:12:33,037
What are you talking about?
284
00:12:33,103 --> 00:12:36,176
I'm talking about eating
pork is a victimless sin.
285
00:12:36,243 --> 00:12:38,347
The only person you're
worried about offending is God.
286
00:12:38,414 --> 00:12:39,951
By eating these hot dogs,
287
00:12:40,017 --> 00:12:41,286
you will be directly helping
288
00:12:41,353 --> 00:12:43,257
a tortured ghost finally find his peace.
289
00:12:43,324 --> 00:12:45,996
The ghost of the man who saved your life,
290
00:12:46,063 --> 00:12:48,500
I mean, come on, God's gotta understand.
291
00:12:50,304 --> 00:12:52,075
All right?
292
00:12:52,141 --> 00:12:53,644
For me?
293
00:12:54,312 --> 00:12:56,182
Oh, man.
294
00:12:58,988 --> 00:13:00,323
KEVIN: If you can eat this,
295
00:13:00,390 --> 00:13:02,327
you'll have no problem eating a hot dog.
296
00:13:02,394 --> 00:13:05,100
Well, then, why don't we
just start with a hot dog?
297
00:13:05,166 --> 00:13:07,037
Okay.
298
00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:09,575
Hotdog.
299
00:13:09,642 --> 00:13:11,579
I wanna do this, I really do.
300
00:13:11,646 --> 00:13:13,750
But this could be a slippery slope.
301
00:13:14,018 --> 00:13:14,985
How so?
302
00:13:15,053 --> 00:13:16,989
I've kept Kosher my entire life
303
00:13:17,056 --> 00:13:20,129
and cultivated a sense of
discipline and self-control.
304
00:13:20,195 --> 00:13:23,403
If I break this one rule,
albeit for a noble cause,
305
00:13:23,469 --> 00:13:25,540
who's to say I won't spiral out of control?
306
00:13:25,607 --> 00:13:27,176
It won't happen.
307
00:13:27,243 --> 00:13:29,514
I'm here with you every
step of the way, okay?
308
00:13:29,581 --> 00:13:33,622
Just think of me as a
moral compass of sorts.
309
00:13:41,104 --> 00:13:42,773
Here it comes.
310
00:13:47,048 --> 00:13:48,184
There's the rush.
311
00:13:52,526 --> 00:13:54,262
Yeah, okay.
312
00:13:56,300 --> 00:13:57,770
Fair enough, yeah, I deserve that.
313
00:14:03,114 --> 00:14:06,653
♪ Meshugenah ♪
314
00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:10,395
♪ Meshugenah ♪
315
00:14:10,461 --> 00:14:13,734
♪ Meshugenah ♪
316
00:14:13,801 --> 00:14:17,508
♪ Meshugenah ♪
317
00:14:17,575 --> 00:14:21,449
♪ Meshugenah ♪
318
00:14:21,516 --> 00:14:24,588
♪ Meshugenah ♪
319
00:14:24,655 --> 00:14:26,159
♪ Meshugenah ♪
320
00:14:37,046 --> 00:14:38,616
- Coming, buddy?
- What?
321
00:14:38,683 --> 00:14:39,718
Hey, what are you doing here?
322
00:14:39,785 --> 00:14:41,288
I know you've got some drugs.
323
00:14:41,354 --> 00:14:42,724
Come on.
324
00:14:45,429 --> 00:14:46,833
Stop, stop.
325
00:14:47,099 --> 00:14:49,237
What are we doing? Look at us.
326
00:14:49,304 --> 00:14:51,708
We're beating a man because he
didn't have heroin to give us.
327
00:14:51,775 --> 00:14:53,445
What happened?
328
00:14:53,512 --> 00:14:55,449
This is that slippery slope
I was telling you about.
329
00:14:55,516 --> 00:14:57,220
You were supposed to be my moral compass.
330
00:14:57,286 --> 00:14:58,722
You're a moron compass.
331
00:14:58,789 --> 00:15:00,593
- Let's get out of here.
- Out of here.
332
00:15:04,134 --> 00:15:06,038
KEVIN: You know what I
always want about hot dogs?
333
00:15:06,105 --> 00:15:08,809
It's the texture, it's like meat
has already been chewed for you.
334
00:15:08,876 --> 00:15:10,646
You don't have to do any of the work.
335
00:15:10,713 --> 00:15:12,149
- Hey, where the hell's our guy?
- Relax.
336
00:15:12,216 --> 00:15:13,652
He didn't wanna get recognized,
337
00:15:13,719 --> 00:15:16,024
so I lent him some clothes to change into.
338
00:15:16,090 --> 00:15:17,627
An orthodox Jew in your dingy clothes?
339
00:15:17,694 --> 00:15:19,063
He's gonna look like
340
00:15:20,065 --> 00:15:21,735
every other hipster in Brooklyn.
341
00:15:21,802 --> 00:15:24,040
All right. I'm gonna go see what
342
00:15:24,106 --> 00:15:25,843
that dick-licker Johnny Praline is up to.
343
00:15:27,112 --> 00:15:29,283
Hey.
344
00:15:29,350 --> 00:15:32,723
- Unrecognizable.
- You look very fetching.
345
00:15:32,790 --> 00:15:34,193
- I think so too.
- Yeah.
346
00:15:34,260 --> 00:15:36,764
So, hey, listen, I signed
you up under a pseudonym,
347
00:15:36,831 --> 00:15:38,802
- just to be safe. Yeah.
- Very smart.
348
00:15:38,868 --> 00:15:40,304
- Then, what'd you use?
- JOHNNY: Excuse me.
349
00:15:40,371 --> 00:15:41,941
You the one they call Anal Bead?
350
00:15:43,277 --> 00:15:44,613
- You're a putz.
- Shoot, no.
351
00:15:44,680 --> 00:15:46,884
It was supposed to say Animal Beard.
352
00:15:46,951 --> 00:15:49,122
My penmanship's a little tight.
353
00:15:49,189 --> 00:15:51,193
I'm Johnny Praline, defending champion.
354
00:15:51,259 --> 00:15:53,130
All right.
355
00:15:53,197 --> 00:15:55,968
Anyway, I just wanted to
pop by and introduce myself.
356
00:15:56,035 --> 00:15:57,305
Good luck. It's anyone's game.
357
00:15:57,371 --> 00:15:59,175
I'll catch you on the
flip-flop. Good enough.
358
00:15:59,242 --> 00:16:01,011
All right, see you later.
359
00:16:01,078 --> 00:16:02,415
- What a nice guy.
- A mensch.
360
00:16:02,682 --> 00:16:03,984
I didn't expect that in competition.
361
00:16:04,051 --> 00:16:05,855
Unbelievable, unbelievable.
362
00:16:05,921 --> 00:16:07,390
- Anyway, are you ready for this?
- Yeah.
363
00:16:07,658 --> 00:16:08,994
I had a lot of knishes on the way here.
364
00:16:09,061 --> 00:16:10,029
This shouldn't have been.
365
00:16:10,096 --> 00:16:11,198
That's all in the past now.
366
00:16:11,265 --> 00:16:12,969
Not really, but...
367
00:16:13,035 --> 00:16:14,371
You don't have to worry about it.
368
00:16:14,638 --> 00:16:16,075
You're stomach is gonna do all the work.
369
00:16:16,142 --> 00:16:17,144
I will be on the sidelines
370
00:16:17,210 --> 00:16:19,114
rooting for you the whole time.
371
00:16:19,181 --> 00:16:21,418
Let's go. I feel like Mr. Miyagi.
372
00:16:26,896 --> 00:16:29,801
ANNOUNCER: Well, the contestants
are taking their spots on the stage
373
00:16:29,868 --> 00:16:32,239
as the 32nd annual Oinky's
Hot Dog Invitational
374
00:16:32,306 --> 00:16:34,811
is about to get underway.
375
00:16:34,878 --> 00:16:37,016
Of course, defending his
title is Johnny Praline.
376
00:16:37,082 --> 00:16:39,821
And with the recent
passing of Hiro Tamagachi,
377
00:16:39,888 --> 00:16:41,992
I would say Praline is the frontrunner.
378
00:16:42,059 --> 00:16:45,032
Three, two, one, go!
379
00:16:45,699 --> 00:16:47,303
ANNOUNCER: And they're off.
380
00:16:51,176 --> 00:16:52,379
Praline's got his game face on.
381
00:16:52,446 --> 00:16:54,984
He has come out of the gate strong.
382
00:16:55,051 --> 00:16:57,322
Praline is using his
two-dogs-on-a-leash
383
00:16:57,388 --> 00:16:59,359
technique that won him gold last year.
384
00:16:59,426 --> 00:17:01,798
But it looks like newcomer Anal Bead
385
00:17:01,864 --> 00:17:03,767
is giving Praline a run for his money.
386
00:17:06,139 --> 00:17:07,809
It almost looks like Anal Bead
387
00:17:07,875 --> 00:17:10,013
is using the same
stomach-squeezing technique
388
00:17:10,081 --> 00:17:13,254
as the late, great Hiro Tamagachi.
389
00:17:21,135 --> 00:17:23,941
- And now, this competition...
- Wait a second.
390
00:17:24,008 --> 00:17:26,112
A man in the sidelines
is inhaling some hotdogs.
391
00:17:26,178 --> 00:17:27,748
He's pulling ahead of everyone.
392
00:17:28,984 --> 00:17:31,289
ANNOUNCER: It seems like
this competitor is adopting
393
00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:34,795
the fat-slob-shoveling-food
down-his-gullet technique.
394
00:17:34,862 --> 00:17:36,232
Now, I'm getting word that this guy
395
00:17:36,299 --> 00:17:38,836
has taken down three full
buckets of refill dogs.
396
00:17:38,903 --> 00:17:40,740
ANNOUNCER 2: That's about 60 hot dogs.
397
00:17:40,807 --> 00:17:42,043
ANNOUNCER: And if that's the case,
398
00:17:42,109 --> 00:17:44,247
this contest has just met its dark horse.
399
00:17:46,986 --> 00:17:49,190
ANNOUNCER 2: The immersions
of the spectator is thrilling.
400
00:17:49,257 --> 00:17:51,829
It's like when Seabiscuit
popped out of the crowd,
401
00:17:51,896 --> 00:17:53,900
won 1940 Santa Anita Handicap.
402
00:17:57,073 --> 00:17:58,442
(Alarm sounds)
403
00:17:58,508 --> 00:18:00,879
TIMER: All right, times up. Stop eating.
404
00:18:02,082 --> 00:18:03,752
We have a winner.
405
00:18:06,358 --> 00:18:08,260
- Winner!
- ANNOUNCER: There you have it.
406
00:18:08,327 --> 00:18:11,300
At 75 hot dogs, a complete unknown
407
00:18:11,367 --> 00:18:15,375
has won the Oinky's 32nd
Annual Hotdog Invitational.
408
00:18:21,820 --> 00:18:23,057
What happened?
409
00:18:23,124 --> 00:18:25,094
Why did you guys all stopped eating?
410
00:18:30,805 --> 00:18:32,174
- Hey, schmuck.
- Yeah?
411
00:18:32,241 --> 00:18:35,147
I renounced my most
sacred religious beliefs
412
00:18:35,213 --> 00:18:38,086
because you told me I was
helping the ghost of the man
413
00:18:38,153 --> 00:18:39,856
who saved my life find peace.
414
00:18:39,923 --> 00:18:42,528
It was an accident. I
binge eat when I'm nervous.
415
00:18:42,795 --> 00:18:45,033
- And then, you...!
- I know, I'm sorry.
416
00:18:45,100 --> 00:18:46,502
I screwed up. I screwed up.
417
00:18:46,569 --> 00:18:48,206
Menachem, I'm sorry.
418
00:18:48,273 --> 00:18:50,277
Menachem, Menachem.
419
00:18:50,343 --> 00:18:52,281
Menachem.
420
00:18:54,585 --> 00:18:57,424
- Tamagachi, what just happened?
- Are you serious?
421
00:18:57,491 --> 00:18:59,260
You won. You set a world record.
422
00:18:59,327 --> 00:19:00,797
I am so sorry.
423
00:19:00,864 --> 00:19:02,166
I don't want this.
424
00:19:02,233 --> 00:19:04,003
No, no, no, it's okay.
425
00:19:04,070 --> 00:19:06,475
Watching you eat was
like watching Michelangelo
426
00:19:06,541 --> 00:19:08,445
paint the Sistine Chapel.
427
00:19:08,512 --> 00:19:10,382
Besides, it was never
really about me winning.
428
00:19:10,449 --> 00:19:12,954
It was about that ass
clown Johnny Praline losing.
429
00:19:13,020 --> 00:19:15,826
You know, for the first time in my life,
430
00:19:15,893 --> 00:19:17,530
it is my heart that is full.
431
00:19:39,973 --> 00:19:41,343
ROOFIE: I'm proud of you, man.
432
00:19:41,410 --> 00:19:43,281
You got 25 bucks the old fashioned way.
433
00:19:43,347 --> 00:19:45,852
Miss Morphine gave you a glowing review.
434
00:19:45,919 --> 00:19:47,154
Sounds like good day to me.
435
00:19:47,221 --> 00:19:48,891
And, Roofie, I set a world record, man.
436
00:19:48,958 --> 00:19:51,496
I can't believe that.
437
00:19:51,563 --> 00:19:53,099
Oh, I took a 25 bucks
438
00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:54,535
and got that traveler's check.
439
00:19:54,602 --> 00:19:56,439
Good, give me, give me. I'm not sure why.
440
00:19:56,506 --> 00:19:57,943
It's part of my
441
00:19:58,009 --> 00:19:59,445
counter-power-play move with Camomile.
442
00:19:59,512 --> 00:20:01,482
Yeah. Are you sure that's the best move?
443
00:20:01,549 --> 00:20:03,186
Roofie, trust me.
444
00:20:03,253 --> 00:20:06,091
It's the only move I have left.
445
00:20:10,470 --> 00:20:11,639
Well, well, well.
446
00:20:11,706 --> 00:20:13,810
If it isn't the Vomitable Snowman.
447
00:20:13,877 --> 00:20:15,179
Enough with the pleasantries.
448
00:20:15,246 --> 00:20:17,818
I'm here for one thing and one thing only.
449
00:20:17,885 --> 00:20:19,655
If you're here for the
séance, you missed it.
450
00:20:19,722 --> 00:20:21,526
Oh, the séance? Yeah, how did that go?
451
00:20:21,593 --> 00:20:22,628
They loved me.
452
00:20:22,695 --> 00:20:24,564
James McAvoy even showed up.
453
00:20:24,631 --> 00:20:27,003
Wow, and the ghost, he was satisfied?
454
00:20:27,070 --> 00:20:30,509
The spirit of Vesuvius
was more than satisfied.
455
00:20:30,576 --> 00:20:33,582
No, no, no.
456
00:20:33,649 --> 00:20:36,188
Do you know up and down?
457
00:20:36,255 --> 00:20:38,592
He doesn't seem happy.
458
00:20:38,659 --> 00:20:40,630
What are you talking about?
459
00:20:40,696 --> 00:20:42,600
All he wanted was for his final piece
460
00:20:42,667 --> 00:20:45,606
to be hung right-side-up
by this imbeciles.
461
00:20:45,673 --> 00:20:47,175
He's an avant-garde-ist.
462
00:20:47,242 --> 00:20:48,646
He's missunders...
463
00:20:48,712 --> 00:20:50,883
- You know what, I de-gress.
- As always.
464
00:20:50,950 --> 00:20:54,156
I'm here to talk about
the dry-cleaning bill.
465
00:20:55,592 --> 00:20:57,729
- Check.
- A traveler's check?
466
00:20:57,796 --> 00:21:00,000
Yes, I'm in between banks right now,
467
00:21:00,067 --> 00:21:01,270
but I wanted to have a check
468
00:21:01,537 --> 00:21:03,241
so I could come here and say, check.
469
00:21:03,308 --> 00:21:05,745
As in, I'm onto you and your little game
470
00:21:05,812 --> 00:21:07,976
and I'm winning, I think.
471
00:21:08,043 --> 00:21:09,278
Like chess, right?
472
00:21:10,045 --> 00:21:11,280
No. What? No.
473
00:21:11,547 --> 00:21:13,215
Check mate.
474
00:21:13,282 --> 00:21:15,317
No. What beats check mate?
475
00:21:15,584 --> 00:21:17,586
What beats check mate? A flush?
476
00:21:18,687 --> 00:21:19,788
- Nothing.
- Nothing?
477
00:21:19,855 --> 00:21:20,889
Nothing.
478
00:21:22,991 --> 00:21:25,994
Why didn't I just say check mate?
479
00:21:40,109 --> 00:21:41,043
You wanna do this?
480
00:21:41,110 --> 00:21:42,077
Yes.
481
00:21:42,144 --> 00:21:43,946
- What's this?
- Go.
482
00:21:45,214 --> 00:21:46,749
My favorite masterpiece.
483
00:21:46,815 --> 00:21:48,851
Right side.
484
00:21:58,048 --> 00:22:03,048
Sync & Corrections by Darcade
- Addic7ed.com -
485
00:22:03,098 --> 00:22:07,648
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
486
00:22:08,305 --> 00:22:14,516
Support us and become VIP member
to remove all ads from OpenSubtitles.org
35890
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.