Original subtitles

What's he saying?

He said,

"May their lives flow together in peace and happiness toward the great sea."

For the ceremony of the bowl, I choose my friend, the friend of all my friends.

I choose the haole.

Haole! Haole!

"In peace and happiness toward the great sea."

Wafford, ain't that a pretty speech?

Oh, you ain't got no sentiment!

You'll never be nothing but a pig as long as you live.

May you have as many years of happiness, as I can make pieces of this bowl.

Well, what about it?

Let him sing at a native wedding if he likes.

Let him dance the hula if he feels like it.

But, Father, it isn't just today, we haven't seen him all week.

I don't care if I don't see him for months.

When Tony Marvin does come in, he brings an idea. Look at this.

"Pineapple Girl." Pineapple Girl! Did you ever see such publicity?

And what about his idea of syndicating her impressions of the Islands?

Why, it's magnificent!

It may be,

but I still believe you're undermining the morale of our other employees

when you permit Tony Marvin to lie around on his boat like a beachcomber

and pay him for it.

Now, listen, Son. If I was 40 years younger,

and I could pull ideas out of the air like he does,

I'd live on a boat, too. And if I felt like it, by George, I'd dance the hula!

Father.

Well, what is it?

Mr. Durkin and some gentlemen to see you, sir.

Yeah, send them in.

Durkin, that's great! Now we'll really hear something!

He's been with the girl all the morning.

John!

Gentlemen, I'm very pleased to see you!

And how is our little Pineapple Girl this morning, eh?

Well, that's what we came to talk to you about.

Well, what is it?

Well, the fact of the matter is, J.P.,

the girl doesn't like it here.

She doesn't like it here?

Well, she must like it! Did you carry out my suggestion?

Sure.

We got her up at sunrise and showed her around the island,

the whole bunch of us.

I can't understand it. I can't understand it.

I'll get to the bottom of this myself.

We'll go to the hotel and I'll ask her point blank.

I'll say to her...

Miss Smith, do you think this is the way that a contest winner should behave?

Yes, Miss Smith, exactly what do you want?

Well, I want to go home.

Impossible!

Why do you want to go home?

Because I'm not having any fun.

You know, you promised the winner of your contest

three romantic weeks in Hawaii.

Well, I'm here and I'm not getting them.

Well, I can't understand it, Miss Smith.

Hawaii is the most romantic spot in the world.

And another thing, gentlemen.

I'm afraid I'm going to have to draw the line

at having my picture taken with that thing.

All we ask you to do is to step behind here

and have your picture taken,

like this.

My pal.

There's no use arguing, Miss Smith. You can't go home. It's out of the question.

But why? Your syndicated impressions of Hawaii

will be read by more than 50 million people.

If you tell them you don't like it here,

we may as well close up the Islands.

Oh, boy, a party! Yeah, look at all the men.

That's for me, kid.

Who are you?

Why, I'm Public Stenographer Number One!

Shall we start, Georgia? All right, Myrtle.

If you gentlemen will excuse me.

Start? Start what?

My impressions.

I have to finish the first installment.

Here.

Will you pardon me?

Oh, yes. Here's where we left off.

"To me, the place is just... Birch Falls with a lot of palm trees stuck in it."

Well, what about your great-idea man now?

Where is he? Get him.

Get him? Try and find him.

Well, why isn't he at the office? Who does he think he is?

Fooling around the Islands, paying no attention to business.

I'll get him! I'll tell him!

Yeah, some people get ideas standing up, and some get them sitting down,

but I figure if we just get you a feather bed, we'd never have to work again.

Never? I tell you, Shad, a man has really got to relax

if he's gonna get a good idea.

Like the Pineapple Girl, huh?

Yeah, boy, I'll never forget the day that one floated in on you.

Man, that was a day.

By the way, I wonder what she looks like.

Well, I'm afraid I wouldn't know about that.

Probably looks like something you win at a shooting gallery, though.

Well, what's the difference? The only thing I care about is what she's done for us.

Why, that J.P. Todhunter, he don't know I'm alive.

That sweet old sour puss.

Why, hello, J.P.

We were... We were just talking about you.

Yes! Your Pineapple Girl is going home.

What?

Well... She can't do that!

That's what I came to tell you.

Why, the publicity will ruin us!

Now, you've got to think of something to stop her.

Well, yes, we... Well, you...

Yes, and right now! That's what comes of leaving everything to you!

Since she got here you've done nothing!

You haven't even seen her.

Well, what about a suggestion from you or your intellectual playmate?

What is that?

Oh, that's Wafford, Mr. Todhunter.

Say hello to Mr. Todhunter, Wafford.

If that pig says one word to me, I'll kick him off the boat!

Well, what about an idea? And let it be brilliant.

That's what I'm paying you for!

Oh, Mr. Todhunter,

now, you might laugh at me, but people are a whole lot like pigs.

Now, you take Wafford here, for instance.

Right now he's perfectly satisfied with my company,

but it's only a question of time till he's gonna start

craving the company of other pigs.

Now, that's the way I figure that girl.

She's starting to look for a little bit of romance.

She's beginning to squeal, and she's gonna keep right on squealing for romance

till somebody gives it to her.

Well, yes. Well, we... You...

Well, come on boys, here we go. For romance

and lmperial Pineapples.

Let's go, huh?

K-O-K.

Bye, Myrtle.

Where you going?

Oh, I just thought I'd see if I can get this letter on the China Clipper.

K-O-K.

Hey, do you spell coconuts with two "K's" or one?

Oh, never mind.

Go on, sing!

Night and you

And blue Hawaii

The night is heavenly

And you are heaven to me

Oh, lovely you

And blue Hawaii

With all this loveliness

There should be love

Come with me

While the moon is on the sea

The night is young

And so are we

Dreams come true

In blue Hawaii

And mine could all come true

This magic night of nights with you

Are you sure we got the right bungalow?

Sure I'm sure.

Come with me

While the moon is on the sea

The night is young

And so are we

Dreams come true

In blue Hawaii

And mine could all come true

This magic night of nights

With you

Come on in, fellows. I mean, I'll be right out! I mean,

do you mean me?

Oh, boy! When those guitars go...

I'm a gone woman!

I... That is, we, we were wondering what you were doing tonight.

Well, I was just working on the last installment, but that can wait.

We thought maybe you might like to go out some place?

Oh, boy!

"Oh boy!"

Did I bring that over here?

It's all right, boy, you stay right in there and pitch.

I'll be ready in a minute, honey.

We'll go down to the beach,

and every time a wave comes in...

Wow!

When's your birthday?

August 2nd.

That's for you.

Now, wait a minute!

Oh, boy!

Say, if you think that...

Hey!

Here I come!

Wow!

I beg your pardon.

I beg your pardon!

Yeah?

May I borrow your hammer? My heel came off.

I guess so, yeah.

Thank you.

Here.

That's fine. There goes my hammer.

Do you know that's my case hammer?

What's the matter with you? You got butter fingers or something?

Well, I'm very sorry.

Well, being sorry ain't gonna get my hammer back.

How in the world do you think I'm gonna finish what I'm trying to do here?

Well, you needn't shout about it.

I'm not shouting at you!

Oh, I see.

Hey, wait a minute. I'll fix your heel for you.

Oh, I guess around the other way, huh?

Heist. Come on.

Well, give me the heel.

Did you hurt yourself?

Look at me! Look what you've done to me.

Well, I'm sorry. I was only trying to fix your...

Sorry? You deliberately pushed me into the water!

Why, don't be idiotic. I wouldn't...

Don't you dare call me an idiot!

I'm not calling you an idiot. I didn't mean to push you in the water.

Oh, yes, you did!

Oh, everything happens to me in this place, and I hate it!

I hate it! I want to get out of here tomorrow.

Well, why don't you go? There's nobody stopping you, are there?

No, nobody but the whole lmperial Pineapple Company!

Why should they stop you?

Because I'm their dear little Pineapple Girl, that's why.

Why, you can't be.

Oh, now I'm a liar!

No, I don't mean that, but you can't be the...

Pineapple Girl!

Oh, I wish I could get my hands on the half-witted imbecile that called me that!

I'd murder him, that's what I'd do!

I'd murder him!

You would?

Well, if she's really going, she ought to be here pretty soon.

The boat leaves in 20 minutes.

Well, do you think there's any chance of stopping her, J. P?

I don't know. I don't know.

Hey, you're the Pineapple Girl, ain't you?

Why, yes, but...

Look. You're a guest of the Islands.

You can get away with murder, see?

I got these for my sister in San Francisco,

I can't get them through the Customs Office.

Here, take them. Well, I don't want them!

All you gotta do is wear them in plain sight. My sister will meet you on the dock.

All ready, Miss Smith.

Thank you.

Thank you, Miss Smith.

Take us to the boat, and hurry, please.

Yes, miss.

Do you think this is worth smuggling?

If you paid more than a buck for it, you got robbed.

Well, then, why did...

Myrtle, there's something very funny about this.

Yeah.

Driver, are you sure you're taking us to the boat?

Yes, lady.

Hey, what's going on here? Where's the boat?

I'm gonna notify the police!

We seem to...

Hey, come on, talk American. What's the matter?

Where you get necklace?

A sailor gave it to me.

Sailor friend?

No, he just asked me to help him get it through the Customs.

Is no Customs for Americans.

There she goes.

Where's a policeman?

Where's anybody?

Would you pardon us?

Boy, am I glad to see you!

Well, hello! How's your heel?

Hey, when you call me that, smile!

Hello, Kimo. What's going on here?

Now, if you'll tell me what started all this, Miss...

Smith. Smith, I'll see if I can help you out.

Well, it seems to be this thing.

Open.

Like this.

That's the granddaddy of all black pearls!

The eight ball!

I think you'd better tell us exactly how you got this.

Well, it was just before I left the hotel.

I was standing near the curb waiting for the...

We're moving!

Well, if we ain't, I'm getting another one of my dizzy spells.

Hey, Kimo, now what is this? Pearl must go back.

Now, listen, Kimo.

So, that's it.

So, that's what?

What are they saying?

Momi Pele, the sacred pearl,

dedicated many years ago to the goddess of a volcano on one of the smaller islands.

A while back the pearl was stolen from its shrine,

and since then, the volcano has been rumbling and pouring out smoke.

The natives claim that if the pearl isn't returned to its shrine,

the volcano will erupt and destroy the village.

And they think I stole it?

Seems to be the general impression, yeah.

But I'm sure if you give it to Kimo here, he'll...

Well, here. Oh, no, no, taboo, taboo.

You give it to holy man on Pele's Island.

Fine thing, shanghaied in Honolulu.

Well, why don't you do something about it?

Well, shucks, them boys won't give us no trouble

if we let them have their own way.

They ain't cannibals.

Besides, if they was, you'd be safe.

Why, sure, I'd...

Yeah?

Long distance telephone call from Birch Falls, Iowa.

All right.

Hello! Hello! Todhunter? Yes. Yes, this is Todhunter.

This is Dr. Victor Quimby speaking! Who?

Dr. Victor Quimby. Dr. Victor who?

Quimby, DDS. I'd cabled the boat

and the hotel, and... You did what?

I say, I've been cabling and calling all over, and I can't find Georgia Smith.

Now, where is she? Now, we don't know where she is.

She's just gone.

Well, I'm coming over there, and if anything has happened to her in the meantime,

I'm gonna tear your ears off! Well, now, listen, young man...

Who was that?

The Pineapple Girl's boyfriend, the dentist.

Says he's radioed the hotel and the boat but can't find her.

Says he's coming over here.

Says he's gonna tear my ears off.

Well, when you're running around the Islands without any ears,

you can thank Tony Marvin!

Aren't you feeling a bit sleepy?

No, I'm too excited to be sleepy.

Look, what was all that about?

Oh? I... Kimo told me to keep her right on the course, and I said, "Will do."

Where's your compass?

Up there.

You see that little kid blinking at you?

Yes.

That's our guiding star.

Oh.

Would you mind if I tried that?

No, go right ahead.

Keep her right on the course. Keep the bowsprit pointed right at that star.

Oh, this is swell.

Sailing into the moonlight.

Hey! Hey! Don't go sailing into the moonlight

or you'll land us in Indochina, and that Kimo will land right on my neck.

Gotta keep her on the course.

Well, your star moved.

Oh, lady!

If men could count on women the way they can count on that star,

there'd be much more smooth sailing and far less wrecks!

Well!

Personal experience or something out of a book?

What's the difference? It's true.

I see. Out of a book.

What is that?

What's what?

That thing they're singing up there. I've heard it somewhere.

Oh, well, I should think you would have.

It's very popular here on the Islands. They all play it and sing it.

It's called Blue Hawaii. Oh.

Nice little song, too.

Blue Hawaii

The night is heavenly

And you are heaven to me

Lovely lyrics.

Yes, and lovely you

And blue Hawaii

With all this loveliness

There should be love

What now?

"Come with me."

Come with me.

No, no, you gotta sing it.

"While the moon is on the sea."

While the moon is on the sea

That's right, and, "The night is young."

The night is young

Very good. "And so are we."

And so are we

Don't tell me, I remember now.

Go ahead.

Dreams come true

You got it right

In blue Hawaii

And mine could all come true

This magic night of nights

With you

I wonder what happened. That star must have moved, huh?

Now, drink this, honey, then I'll tuck you in.

Hey, where does that pig sleep at night?

Under my bed.

Well, isn't it unhealthy?

Mmm-mmm.

Wafford's never had a sick day since I had him.

Do you know, you can't hardly kill these razorback pigs.

I remember one time my uncle was blowing out stump with dynamite,

some of it didn't go off,

and this pig started rooting around, and he swallowed 16 sticks of dynamite.

Later on that day, he was fooling around in the barn and a mule kicked him.

That dynamite exploded, and blowed down the barn,

and broke all the windows in the house,

and I want to tell you, for a couple of days, there,

we had a mighty sick pig on our hands.

Well, I guess I'll just have to learn how to grunt.

We brought the pearl.

You will come to the village and await the arrival of the High Priest.

You'll be all right as long as nothing happens to the pearl.

Hey, come on! Get that pig.

Hey, come on! Hey, what's this all about?

Well, oh, come on now, break it up, kid.

Brother, you're looking at the champion hog caller of Crawford County, Arkansas.

Now, don't you worry about that pearl. You sit down here and keep your sheet on.

You know, I hope you won't think I'm bragging,

but there just seems to be something about me that a pig can't resist.

And I want to tell you, where I come from, we've got some pretty snooty pigs.

Now, you wait a minute.

Somebody calling me?

Pig! Pig!

Hear him? He's a long ways off, but he's a-coming!

Come on!

Come on!

Come on.

Oh, Shad, you found him! Yeah.

Oh, is this a relief. There you are.

I got him! I got him! I got...

Hey! Who are you?

That's the future Mrs. Wafford.

I told you when I call them every pig in the county turns out.

Yeah.

Don't look now, but we got company.

Man, you even carried Maine and Vermont!

Hello, Operator? Get me the lmperial Pineapples Limited.

Yeah. Mr. Marvin's office.

Hello. Oh, hello, Mr. Marvin. How are you doing?

The second installment's a lily.

That's right. Goodbye, Mr. Marvin.

Good evening, Mr. Everett.

Where's Mr. Marvin?

I couldn't say.

Where's the Pineapple Girl?

I couldn't say.

Well, wherever she is, her impressions of Hawaii are being printed in the paper.

I don't suppose you know anything about that, either.

Oh, yes. I know all about it.

Oh, you do?

Yes, Mr. Marvin dictated it.

He dictated it?

Before he went away.

The first five installments. Clever, isn't he?

Yeah, if he can think of the right answer to tell her

when she finds out what he's done to her.

Where's Marvin taken that girl?

To one of the islands,

to give her the romance she wasn't getting.

But she certainly gets it in this installment. It's a lily. Listen.

"And in the morning, while we waited in the village,

"I began to feel, for the first time, that I was part of the Hawaii

"I'd always dreamed about."

There.

Now you look like wahine kanaka.

What's a wahine kanaka?

Hawaiian girl.

Yeah? Well, how do I look?

You look like... You look very nice, too.

Yeah.

Sweet Leilani

Heavenly flower

Tropic skies are jealous as they shine

Oh, sweet Leilani

I think they're jealous of your blue eyes

My lovely Leilani

Jealous because you're mine

Sweet Leilani

Heavenly flower

I dreamed of paradise for two

Oh, sweet Leilani

You are my paradise completed

My lovely Leilani

You are my dream

Come true

You see, there? One lullaby from me

and the child tosses fitfully for hours.

Hey, look!

What's that?

Oh, that's a native game, sort of a Hawaiian post office.

You mean, if I lasso a guy with one of these things,

he's gotta kiss me?

That gets it.

Well, what am I waiting for? Here I come!

Well, I guess we might as well get in the game, huh?

The High Priest is here.

He says, he hopes the return of the pearl will quiet the volcano.

What if it doesn't?

Well, in that case you run, do not walk, to the nearest exit.

Oh, Shaddy-pie?

What?

I've got something for you.

What is it?

Oh, it's something.

Give it to me.

Uh-uh. I'm bashful.

Well, wait a minute. I'll fix that.

Hey, go easy on that stuff. That's okolehao.

Concentrated Hawaiian dynamite and mule kick.

That stuff will make you bold as brass.

Yeah, well, that's what I'm waiting for, but nothing happens.

Look.

We should be together

In a little hula heaven over the silver sea

Gay and free together

In a little hula heaven under a koa tree

Days would be lazy

And sweetly crazy

Till skies grew hazy above

Then we'd be all alone together

In a little hula heaven living a dream of love

Days would be lazy

And sweetly crazy

Till skies grew hazy above

Then we'd be all alone together

In a little hula heaven living a dream of love

Tony,

do you like girls who say what they think?

I'm crazy about them.

All right. Here goes.

There are an awful lot of things I like about you.

All right. Let's take them in alphabetical order.

Start with the A's. Right.

Well, I can't think of any A's.

Oh, fine. Now you're backing out on me, huh?

No, I'm not.

Well, for one thing, I like you because of all the things you've done for me.

Well, I haven't done anything for you.

I mean...

Well, I just seen my duty and I done it.

Well, at least you didn't do it because I'm the Pineapple Girl.

I could kiss you for that, Tony.

In fact,

I'm going to.

Georgia.

Yes, Tony?

You being the Pineapple Girl actually has...

What I mean is, it really...

You mean if I hadn't won the contest,

I wouldn't be here with you, now.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, what I meant was that your being so nice to me has nothing to do

with selling pineapples.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, why do you keep on saying, "mmm-hmm"?

Well, "mmm-hmm" seems to cover the whole situation.

Herman. Uncle Herman.

Yes?

What do they say now, Victor?

They say they can't find her anywhere.

Oh, we'll find her, all right.

Oh, wait till I get my hands on that...

Take another radiogram to J.P. Todhunter.

Holding you personally responsible for safety,

welfare, health of Georgia Smith.

Signed, Victor P. Quimby.

Myrtle!

Are you all right, honey?

Oh, that's a nice way to wake a girl up.

You hit her in the head with a baseball bat!

Oh, honey, you know I didn't. Now, that's just that okolehao talking.

All I wanted to get was a little sleep.

All right, baby. You cuddle up right where you are

and Shaddy-pie will sing you a nice lullaby.

Yeah.

Everyone's affected by Hawaiian moons

They leave me cold

Everyone's affected by Hawaiian tunes

I'm still unsold

When palm trees sway in the breeze

I say to myself, pooh-pooh

But I can't get enough

Of

Okolehao, okolehao

There's man-made moonshine in Hawaii now

Okolehao, hip-hip-hooray

After two sips your hips start to swing and sway

When the gals begin to beg just for one more keg

Then the boys know what they mean

And they send for the Marines

Okolehao, I'm telling you

After one drink you'll think you're Hawaiian, too

Well, all right, then!

Down in Mexico

They drink a bottle of tequila for a bracer

Russians have their vodka

Then they have another vodka for a chaser

Up in Harlem, home of swing

They drink almost anything that's handy

Oh, boy

Now, beer and ale and scotch and gin

And rum and rye and brandy

Stout and port and shandygaff and bourbon and Chianti

Creme de cacao, creme de menthe, applejack and zazarat

Zamborini, dry Martini, alkali, white mule

And panther soup

Okolehao, okolehao

Now, it makes you dance Makes you sing

It's good for almost anything

Like fallen arches, athlete's foot

A sprained knee and broken china

Buy a bottle, step up, gents Price is only 50 cents

Okolehao, okolehao

Now, if you want a drink or two

I will drink a toast to you

So prosit, sante, skoal, cheerio

And I'chaim

Oh, skip it.

Bottoms up

Oh, come on, let's go Okolehao

There's man-made moonshine in Hawaii now

Okolehao, hip-hip-hooray

After two sips, your hips start to swing and sway

When the gals begin to beg just for one more keg

Then the boys know what

Well?

The pearl has been returned.

But Momi Pele remains angry.

Follow me.

Why, the pearl's a fake.

A phony.

Take these girls to a hut.

Now, just a minute... Put them under guard and keep them there.

Tony got here right on schedule, eh?

Yeah, right on the dot.

Say, I gotta be going.

Next thing on the program is the fight. See you later.

Okay.

I think somebody's following us. Go on, get in there.

How we doing?

Keep punching. You're winning.

No. I mean the volcano.

Not so good.

What do you mean, "not so good"?

We need more smoke, more stuff.

Okay. Pile it on.

Yeah.

Tony, are you all right?

Yeah. Come on, let's go.

Hey!

Hey, men! Tony wants more smoke, more fire!

Okay.

Men, come over here. More fire, more smoke.

Hurry.

Hey...

Now we're getting somewhere. What?

Well, we're getting closer to the boat. Oh.

Shaddy-pie, I'm scared.

Oh, that mean old limb.

It hurt me right here.

Come on. We'll get left.

Hey listen, Robinson Crusoe.

We might just as well sit down here. We're lost, ain't we?

No. Tony and Georgia are lost, we're here.

Well, we've been walking around all night in a circle.

Hey, where you going?

I'm going to reconnoiter.

You can do that later.

Hey, why don't you climb up this tree? Maybe you can find out where we're at.

Well, all right. But I ain't much on that Tarzan stuff.

Well, I'll give you a hand.

I'll be right back, Wafford.

Oh, Shaddy-pie? What?

I'm not too heavy for you, am I?

No, honey, you just keep hanging on.

Ouch!

Myrtle, there's Tony's schooner. He's found his boat.

We'll be with them in just a jiffy.

I don't see a thing up here.

Come on, give me a hand.

Well, don't hold my hand. Come on, pull.

All right, Myrtle, just a minute.

Hey, where are you, Shad?

Up here.

Well, if you're up there, whose hand am I holding?

Ma!

Ma!

Myrtle, how did you get your face so dirty?

You know, I was just thinking that...

Oh, cutie-pie, come on below. I just fixed you a nice cup of coffee.

Is it hot?

Almost took my fingernail off.

Go ahead, Shad. I got it.

Coming, honey.

Wafford takes two lumps in his.

Just look how big and yellow and everything that moon is.

You know, we haven't any moon at all in Birch Falls.

Oh, that's silly.

You must have.

Well, if we have, I haven't noticed it.

Yes, there's...

There's a lot of things you never notice about...

About a lot of things.

You in the moonlight.

Sweet is the word for you

For all that you have done for me

The one for me

Is you

Sweet you

In the starlight

Sweet is the word for you

But all the stars that glow above

Seem to know of my love

For you

Because of you

The wind is wine tonight

My heart sings

With every beat

Are you a dream

There in the moonlight?

Sweet is the word for you

And yet you seem divine tonight

You are mine tonight

My sweet

Georgia.

Yes, Tony?

Well, never mind.

I'll tell you about it tomorrow when we get ashore, huh?

All right.

Georgia!

Come on below and get some shuteye, honey. Your bunk's made up.

Good night, Tony. Good night.

Good night.

Good night. Good night.

Uh-oh.

This one's beginning to go.

Yes, a little around the edges.

Wouldn't be so tough if I didn't feel the way I do about her.

The whole darn thing's come back and hit me like a boomerang.

You ever been mixed up with a boomerang?

No.

I learned my lesson spitting against the wind.

Where are you going?

I'm going to the police.

Oh, now, wait a minute, Victor. There's enough in the papers already.

I don't care anything about that. I'm going to the police.

Like that?

Well, it's all your fault anyway,

letting her come here in the first place.

People back home pointing at me, calling me, "Mr. Pineapple Girl."

Now, now, Victor.

Don't you "now, now" me!

Everybody back home knows how I feel about Georgia,

and here she is, gallivanting around these islands with some total stranger,

probably doing heaven-knows-what.

Victor.

Yes, and I only say "probably" because you're her uncle.

Nonsense! Todhunter assured us she's in safe hands.

Yeah, well, I don't trust him! I don't trust anybody around here.

And what do we know of this fellow Marvin?

Why, if a thing like this happened back home in Birch Falls,

the whole town would be in an uproar.

But here, nobody seems to care!

Todhunter said she'd be back today.

Now, all we want to do is get her on the noon boat and get her out of here.

Yeah, but not until I've taken care of this fellow Marvin.

You know, I keep quite fit.

You remember what I did to Jim Bledsoe when he refused to pay for his uppers?

Yes, I remember quite well.

You knocked out his lowers.

Precisely.

Myrtle.

Myrtle.

Now, what is it?

Myrtle,

have you ever noticed Tony when he smiles?

Look, it's morning, and you've been talking all night.

Didn't your mother ever tell you about sleep?

Ow!

I'm sorry, Myrtle.

Oh, Georgia!

Just a minute, Tony.

Just try to get some sleep in a love nest!

Hello, Tony.

Good morning, Georgia. Well, we'll be in in a few minutes.

All right. I'll hurry and get dressed.

Yes.

Yes.

Oh, yes. Wait, wait, wait a minute.

When we get ashore, you go right up to the hotel

and slip into your best bib and tucker,

and I'll join you there just as soon as I can, huh?

Where are you going?

Well, I got a few things to attend to, but I'll be back,

and then you and I are gonna go places.

Where?

Well, never mind. You just do as you're told.

Well, Tony, what's the big idea?

Stick out your chin.

Now you'll have to marry me.

That's the big idea.

Oh.

You are mine tonight

My sweet

Sweet you in the moonlight

Sweet is the word for you

For all that you have done for me

The one for me is you

Sweet you in the starlight

Sweet is the word for you

But all the stars that glow above

Seem to know of my love for you

Because of you the wind is wine tonight

My heart sings with every little beat

Are you a dream here in the moonlight?

Sweet is the word for you

And yet you seem divine tonight

You're mine tonight

My sweet

Hello, Victor. Uncle Herman.

Oh, hello, Tony.

Welcome back. Why, you've surpassed yourself.

Yes, indeed. Congratulations.

Never mind that. Listen to this.

We're not printing another line of the Georgia Smith impressions.

What?

Yes, and what's more, we're releasing a signed statement to the newspapers

saying that the whole thing is a fake.

But everything's worked out exactly as you planned it.

But it hasn't.

I didn't plan on making pineapple hash out of a swell girl who...

What are you talking about?

It's pretty plain, isn't it?

Never mind that. You just get on that phone and tell the newspapers the truth,

or I'll take that thick noggin of yours and bang it against the wall!

We've got a lot of money invested in that wonderful idea of yours,

and we're not gonna back out now.

Oh, but you are...

Everett is right, Tony. We couldn't back out.

Okay.

Then I'm washing up. I quit.

Now, Tony, listen to me... No, no, I'm through.

And if Junior doesn't call the newspapers right now, I will.

Go ahead, call them.

But if you do, you'll never get another job on the Islands. Will he?

No.

Thanks, pal.

Hello. This is Tony Marvin.

Yeah. Will you get me the city editor on all the newspapers in town?

Mmm-hmm, thanks.

Now, listen to me, Tony. I absolutely forbid...

Hello, hello. Who's this?

Chronicle? This is Marvin, Tony Marvin.

About those Georgia Smith impressions, I just wanted to...

Papa.

Let me tell you, Georgia.

This man has deliberately exploited you

to advance himself with that pineapple outfit.

I'm afraid he's right, Georgia.

Of course I'm right! I only wish he was here, that's all!

I'd show him. He's a bad tooth and somebody ought to pull him out!

Georgia.

Yes, Uncle Herman?

Victor and I want to take you back home.

It's best for you and for everyone.

I tell you what,

we'll get our things together, and you think it over, hmm?

Oh, yes. I like that. That's nice.

Come on, get your hat. We gotta get going.

Come on. We're gonna be married way down at the other end of the island.

Will there be newspapermen and photographers there?

And pineapples?

Pineapples?

No.

Oh.

Tony, I just want to ask you one question.

Did you write this?

Well, now, wait a minute. Did you?

Well, first you have to let me... Either you wrote it, or you didn't.

I wrote it.

Now, just a minute, Georgia.

And you were paid to do everything you did, weren't you?

Well, yes, that's how the whole thing started.

But a lot of things happened that I didn't exactly count on.

You can understand that, can't you?

No.

All I can understand is that everything you said and everything you did

was planned.

Except one thing. I fell in love with you.

I didn't plan that.

I think you better go now, Tony.

Not a chance.

Tony. Don't.

Well, you heard what she said. Don't.

Who's that?

I have a few things I want to say to you, Marvin.

That's who I am.

Now, now, Victor.

Mr. Marvin, Georgia has decided to go home with us on the noon boat.

She'll need every minute to pack, so if you don't mind...

Is that right, Georgia?

Yes.

All right.

But you're not going home.

The boat leaves in 40 minutes, and you sit there feeding sugar to a pig.

I thought you got ideas. Well, come on, function!

I got one and I think it'll work.

A fellow tried it on me one time, and it worked.

It's a little trick called "the flying tomato."

Well, come on, then!

Here.

One of these days, Georgia,

you're going to thank Uncle Herman and me for getting you out of this.

Yes. Well, we haven't much time. We'd better get going.

Oh, yes, yes.

Hello?

Well, I'll be right down.

There's some sort of mix-up about our reservations.

A man from the ticket agency is downstairs.

I'll be right back.

But we don't wanna go to Shanghai.

My tickets quite definitely say San Francisco.

I don't understand it myself, brother, but I'll sure take care of you.

Oh. Pardon me, my shoelace is untied.

Oh.

You'd better hurry it up. Gonna miss that boat.

Yeah, well, this won't take me a minute.

Oh! You oughtn't to have done that.

Oh, that's bad. Why, that officer never done nothing to you.

Say, what in the... All right, come along.

What? Say, what are you talking about?

You know what I'm talking about. Come along!

But, Officer, I was only standing here... Tell it to the judge.

I wonder what's keeping Victor. Why, he's been gone...

Hello?

In jail? For what?

He... Wait a minute.

He threw what at who?

I'll be right over. Victor's in jail.

Must be losing his mind, throwing things at policemen.

Well, I've gotta go down, bail him out.

There's an officer waiting for me at the desk.

You hurry over to the boat and wait for us there.

But, Officer, what in the world do you suppose made him throw it?

Now, I can't imagine.

Except I had an uncle that was the same way about watermelons.

You know, the minute he'd see a policeman, he'd take that watermelon and smash him.

Oh, pardon me, my shoe lace is untied.

Well, hurry it up.

That's the jail over there, isn't it?

Yeah. Don't worry. You'll be there in just a few minutes.

Yeah, well...

Oh, you oughtn't to have done that.

That's bad. Now, how would you like to have somebody take a tomato and...

Hello.

Will someone please let me out of here?

I've got to get that boat!

Quiet. Quiet. You're getting out.

There's the man! That's him! There's the man!

Well, Uncle Herman, it's about time.

So they got you, eh?

Well, perhaps this will be a lesson to you, Mr. Practical Joker.

And remember this, my friend, "He who laughs last, laughs longest."

Thank you very much.

Hello.

Will you please get out of here?

You might as well give in now. I'm gonna be hanging around here for five days.

Five days? Mmm-hmm.

I'm going home with you. You happy?

You're what?

I got the cabin right next door.

All you're going to hear for five days is, "I love you, I love you, I love you."

I want to tap it out on your wall at night.

See? You won't sleep a wink.

You're not going back with me.

No? I got my ticket.

What do you think of that?

I'll change my cabin. Oh, no, you can't.

Oh, purser.

Can a man travel to the States on a cigar store coupon?

On a... Not on this boat.

Well, there's one in A-23 who thinks he can.

What? Sailor. I'll attend to that, miss.

Thank you, purser.

Come in.

Oh, hello.

I beg your pardon, sir, but I should like to see your ticket.

Ticket? Ticket. Oh, well, I was gonna buy one on the boat.

Sorry, sir, the space is all taken.

That's what I said.

Now, perhaps you'd better go ashore, sir.

That might be a smart move.

Oh, better get my luggage. Will you give me a lift, men?

All right, boys.

Don't leave anything, now. Get it all.

Thanks.

These are your bags! Don't you want them?

Hey, come on down and get your bags!

You can't do that to me!

Honey, it sure was nice of you to get me out of here.

But where did you get the money to pay my fine?

Oh, I won first prize in a dog show. Well... Huh?

Yeah. Where in the world did you get a dog?

Oh, I got him.

Wafford.

Doggone it, honey. You've spoiled Wafford's whole life.

I'll have to re-christen him Rover.

He'll probably spend the rest of his life thinking he's a dog.

All visitors ashore, please.

Miss Georgia Smith?

Yes, I'm Miss Smith.

I wonder if I could speak to you for a moment, alone?

Of course. No, Georgia.

I'm Miss Smith's fiance.

Anything that concerns her, you may ask me.

I see. Very well.

Does she love you?

What?

Say, who are you?

I'm Tony Marvin's mother.

Oh.

Well, does she?

Why, of course she does.

Do you?

Because if you don't, if you love Tony,

if it's your pride that's keeping you from him, you mustn't let it.

Georgia, I object! Victor, please...

No, that's all. There's nothing more to be said, except

Tony knows how foolish he's been and he loves you.

All visitors ashore!

Goodbye.

I hope you'll be very happy.

Well...

There's another thing you can thank me for.

How would you like to have her for a mother-in-law?

Victor!

I'll handle this.

Now, Victor!

Should have left him in jail.

Georgia! Georgia! Georgia!

Tony!

Well, she's somebody's mother,

I think.

Oh, Tony.