Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:02:59,132 --> 00:03:00,884
You derelicts know what time it is?
2
00:03:01,134 --> 00:03:01,843
What?
3
00:03:02,010 --> 00:03:04,805
It is bug-betting time! All right?!
4
00:03:05,180 --> 00:03:08,016
First bug to get fried wins $2.
I got the green one.
5
00:03:08,183 --> 00:03:09,518
$2 on the June bug.
6
00:03:14,314 --> 00:03:18,527
You must actually let go of the
money in order for it to be a bet.
7
00:03:18,694 --> 00:03:22,155
Round and round she goes,
where she stops... Number 2!
8
00:03:32,332 --> 00:03:34,793
Any of you shitheads ever get bored?
9
00:03:35,878 --> 00:03:37,337
You ever get bored?
10
00:03:38,881 --> 00:03:40,674
'Cause I got a riddle.
11
00:03:42,384 --> 00:03:45,470
Takes about 2 ounces of
brains to figure it out.
12
00:03:45,888 --> 00:03:48,849
Anybody think they got a
brain with 2 ounces of brain?
13
00:03:49,016 --> 00:03:51,059
There's a rumor Earl does.
14
00:03:52,352 --> 00:03:56,315
For chrissakes, boys, come on, a little
self-confidence from the gallery.
15
00:03:56,523 --> 00:03:58,191
This ain't long division.
16
00:03:58,358 --> 00:04:00,903
- How much we got to lose?
- Want to liven things up?
17
00:04:01,069 --> 00:04:02,863
That's a hell of an idea!
18
00:04:03,739 --> 00:04:07,201
Everyone puts in 20 bucks.
Pot goes to whoever solves the riddle.
19
00:04:07,367 --> 00:04:08,911
You'll get the riddle.
20
00:04:10,746 --> 00:04:13,081
I'm the one asking the riddle.
21
00:04:13,248 --> 00:04:16,043
I already know the answer.
I don't get a guess.
22
00:04:17,211 --> 00:04:20,255
Although we could say if I get
to 500 bounces on the wedge...
23
00:04:20,923 --> 00:04:23,592
...and no one gets the
riddle, I get the pot.
24
00:04:24,259 --> 00:04:27,054
Now, I know you're thinking
it's an impossible riddle.
25
00:04:27,221 --> 00:04:28,764
It's not. It's easy.
26
00:04:28,931 --> 00:04:31,600
And if somehow, by the
grace of fluke luck...
27
00:04:31,767 --> 00:04:35,896
...I win and y'all don't agree that
it was an easy riddle, then...
28
00:04:36,563 --> 00:04:38,106
...I'll refund your money.
29
00:04:41,443 --> 00:04:42,236
I'm in!
30
00:04:42,486 --> 00:04:43,737
Money in the bank.
31
00:04:43,904 --> 00:04:44,738
I'll hold it.
32
00:04:44,905 --> 00:04:45,614
Give it.
33
00:04:45,781 --> 00:04:48,867
A man's driving down
the road with his son.
34
00:04:49,076 --> 00:04:50,285
He gets in a crash.
35
00:04:50,577 --> 00:04:51,620
Two ambulances come...
36
00:04:51,787 --> 00:04:54,623
...and they take the man and
his son to different hospitals.
37
00:04:55,582 --> 00:04:56,959
Different hospitals.
38
00:04:57,417 --> 00:05:00,462
Son goes into the operating
room, all right?
39
00:05:00,796 --> 00:05:02,965
Doctor looks at him, says:
40
00:05:03,632 --> 00:05:05,717
"I can't operate on this boy.
41
00:05:06,093 --> 00:05:07,302
He's my son. "
42
00:05:07,469 --> 00:05:09,805
Now, how is that possible?
43
00:05:10,430 --> 00:05:12,391
How is that possible?
44
00:05:23,610 --> 00:05:24,987
Clock's ticking.
45
00:05:25,153 --> 00:05:26,655
Father's at the other hospital?
46
00:05:26,822 --> 00:05:28,156
He didn't sneak over?
47
00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:29,825
No one beamed him aboard.
48
00:05:30,117 --> 00:05:34,329
All right, what if the father
married the son's daughter?
49
00:05:34,496 --> 00:05:35,831
This is a family riddle.
50
00:05:36,290 --> 00:05:37,499
Think clean thoughts.
51
00:05:37,666 --> 00:05:39,001
Give us a hint.
52
00:05:39,167 --> 00:05:40,627
You want a hint?
53
00:05:41,461 --> 00:05:43,171
The doctor's a woman.
54
00:05:45,632 --> 00:05:47,467
The doctor's a woman.
55
00:05:49,344 --> 00:05:51,638
The doctor's the son's mother.
56
00:05:51,972 --> 00:05:55,934
Feminists pose the riddle to
reveal sexual stereotypes.
57
00:05:56,143 --> 00:05:58,478
I take it you're a feminist.
58
00:06:00,480 --> 00:06:04,151
I've been called many things,
but never been saddled with that.
59
00:06:04,318 --> 00:06:05,986
You might try being saddled.
60
00:06:06,194 --> 00:06:08,155
Smell of leather, a whip's sting.
61
00:06:09,156 --> 00:06:11,867
I'm just a humble golf pro.
Could I help you?
62
00:06:12,034 --> 00:06:13,535
You're Roy McAvoy?
63
00:06:15,495 --> 00:06:17,956
I pictured something different.
64
00:06:18,665 --> 00:06:20,042
I have a 7:00 lesson.
65
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:21,835
I thought I had a Dr. Griswold.
66
00:06:25,339 --> 00:06:26,673
That's me.
67
00:06:36,892 --> 00:06:40,354
First thing you must learn is
this game ain't about hitting...
68
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:41,855
...a ball in a hole.
69
00:06:42,022 --> 00:06:45,859
It's about inner demons,
self-doubt, human frailty...
70
00:06:46,026 --> 00:06:47,569
...and overcoming that crap.
71
00:06:47,736 --> 00:06:50,405
What kind of doctor
did you say you were?
72
00:06:50,572 --> 00:06:51,573
Psychologist.
73
00:06:52,074 --> 00:06:56,370
I'm a neo-Jungian, post-modern
Freudian, holistic secularist.
74
00:06:58,372 --> 00:06:59,540
Okay.
75
00:07:00,207 --> 00:07:02,584
Inner demons and human
frailty is my life's work.
76
00:07:02,751 --> 00:07:05,587
I used to practice in El Paso,
but I moved here now.
77
00:07:05,921 --> 00:07:07,881
What is all this stuff?
78
00:07:08,048 --> 00:07:09,758
I got it from the Golf Channel.
79
00:07:09,925 --> 00:07:12,553
Well, it's a waste of money.
80
00:07:12,928 --> 00:07:17,224
I'm sure there are some
excesses and repetitions here,
81
00:07:17,391 --> 00:07:19,726
but I believe in gathering knowledge.
82
00:07:19,893 --> 00:07:22,854
There must be some truth to the
golf swing illustrated here...
83
00:07:23,063 --> 00:07:26,233
I thought you would kind of
help me sort through it.
84
00:07:26,400 --> 00:07:28,610
I have dozens of golf videotapes.
85
00:07:28,777 --> 00:07:30,112
I bet she has a golf watch.
86
00:07:30,445 --> 00:07:31,572
Got a golf watch?
87
00:07:32,114 --> 00:07:34,074
I think I got a good one.
88
00:07:34,408 --> 00:07:35,576
Right there.
89
00:07:35,951 --> 00:07:37,411
Take it off.
90
00:07:37,619 --> 00:07:38,287
Off?
91
00:07:38,453 --> 00:07:40,789
All of it, right now. All of it.
92
00:07:40,956 --> 00:07:43,292
You're a smart woman, for chrissakes.
93
00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:47,421
Don't you know the work of
hustlers when you see it?
94
00:07:47,629 --> 00:07:48,922
Well, no.
95
00:07:50,257 --> 00:07:51,466
I mean...
96
00:07:52,301 --> 00:07:55,095
...I can always tell when
someone's lying to himself.
97
00:07:55,262 --> 00:07:58,432
But I'm susceptible and frequently
wrong when a person lies to me.
98
00:07:58,599 --> 00:08:01,059
This stuff cost me over $200.
99
00:08:01,268 --> 00:08:03,437
It's $200 of shit.
100
00:08:04,646 --> 00:08:06,773
Well, that's just great.
101
00:08:06,940 --> 00:08:09,818
Let's do this the old-fashioned way.
Just swing.
102
00:08:10,611 --> 00:08:11,778
All right.
103
00:08:20,329 --> 00:08:21,330
Come up.
104
00:08:24,291 --> 00:08:25,500
Excuse me.
105
00:08:30,339 --> 00:08:31,632
Fuck.
106
00:08:33,800 --> 00:08:35,636
You talk like a golfer.
107
00:08:35,802 --> 00:08:38,347
That's a pretty girl to
have such an ugly swing.
108
00:08:39,973 --> 00:08:41,141
Oh, God!
109
00:08:41,308 --> 00:08:42,768
Oh, that hurt.
110
00:08:42,976 --> 00:08:44,019
Shit!
111
00:08:45,854 --> 00:08:47,314
"Fuck. " "Shit. "
112
00:08:47,481 --> 00:08:49,316
These are technical golf terms.
113
00:08:49,483 --> 00:08:51,485
You're using them on your first lesson.
114
00:08:52,027 --> 00:08:53,487
This is promising.
115
00:08:53,654 --> 00:08:54,488
Great.
116
00:08:54,863 --> 00:08:57,699
Wise-ass. Show me. Just go ahead.
117
00:09:11,880 --> 00:09:13,340
Something like that.
118
00:09:14,216 --> 00:09:15,717
That's impressive.
119
00:09:16,009 --> 00:09:18,345
I tend to process things verbally...
120
00:09:18,512 --> 00:09:21,348
...so can you break down
into words how you did that?
121
00:09:26,895 --> 00:09:29,856
"What Is The Golf Swing,"
by Roy McAvoy?
122
00:09:31,692 --> 00:09:34,069
I think of the golf swing as a poem.
123
00:09:34,236 --> 00:09:36,363
He's doing that poetry thing again.
124
00:09:36,530 --> 00:09:39,741
The opening phrase of this
poem will always be the grip.
125
00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:43,912
The hands unite to form a single
unit by the simple overlap of the...
126
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,206
...little finger.
127
00:09:46,373 --> 00:09:47,082
Right.
128
00:09:47,416 --> 00:09:49,543
Lowly and slowly...
129
00:09:49,710 --> 00:09:53,380
...the club head is led back, pulled
into position not by the hands,
130
00:09:53,547 --> 00:09:55,716
...but the body, which turns
away from the target,
131
00:09:55,883 --> 00:09:58,760
...shifting weight to the right side
without shifting balance.
132
00:09:58,927 --> 00:10:03,223
Tempo is all, perfection unattainable,
as at the top of the swing...
133
00:10:03,390 --> 00:10:06,268
...there's a hesitation,
a little nod to the gods.
134
00:10:07,102 --> 00:10:09,229
A nod to the gods?
135
00:10:09,730 --> 00:10:12,441
To the gods that he is fallible.
136
00:10:13,066 --> 00:10:14,943
That perfection is unattainable.
137
00:10:15,110 --> 00:10:19,072
Weight shifts to the left pulled
by the powers in the earth...
138
00:10:19,239 --> 00:10:21,408
...it's alive, this swing,
and a sculpture...
139
00:10:21,575 --> 00:10:23,911
...and down through contact...
140
00:10:24,077 --> 00:10:26,246
...striking the ball crisply...
141
00:10:26,455 --> 00:10:27,748
...with character.
142
00:10:27,915 --> 00:10:31,752
A tuning fork goes off in
your heart, your balls...
143
00:10:32,628 --> 00:10:35,756
...such a pure feeling is
the well-struck golf shot.
144
00:10:36,632 --> 00:10:38,634
Then the follow-through to finish...
145
00:10:38,800 --> 00:10:40,260
...always on line.
146
00:10:40,427 --> 00:10:43,138
The reverse-C of the Golden Bear...
147
00:10:43,764 --> 00:10:46,642
...the steelworkers' power and
the brawn of Carl Sandburg's...
148
00:10:46,975 --> 00:10:48,769
...Arnold Palmer!
149
00:10:49,770 --> 00:10:51,605
He's doing the
"Arnold Palmer" thing.
150
00:10:52,439 --> 00:10:54,316
And the unfinished symphony of...
151
00:10:54,650 --> 00:10:56,443
...Roy McAvoy.
152
00:10:58,278 --> 00:10:59,988
What's unfinished?
153
00:11:01,114 --> 00:11:04,952
I have a short follow-through.
It has an unfinished look.
154
00:11:05,661 --> 00:11:06,662
Why?
155
00:11:08,121 --> 00:11:12,292
Some say it's the easiest way to
play in the winds of west Texas...
156
00:11:12,459 --> 00:11:16,505
...some say it's because I never
finished anything in my life.
157
00:11:17,297 --> 00:11:19,800
You can decide. But the point is...
158
00:11:20,008 --> 00:11:22,302
...every finishing position is unique.
159
00:11:24,805 --> 00:11:26,682
That's what the golf swing's about.
160
00:11:28,016 --> 00:11:30,978
It's about gaining control
of your life and...
161
00:11:31,186 --> 00:11:33,313
...letting go at the same time.
162
00:11:35,691 --> 00:11:36,984
Jeez Louise.
163
00:11:37,150 --> 00:11:40,153
There's only one other acceptable
theory about how to hit the ball.
164
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:42,865
Oh, boy, well, I'm afraid to ask.
165
00:11:43,031 --> 00:11:45,033
What's the other theory?
166
00:11:45,200 --> 00:11:47,202
Grip it and rip it.
167
00:11:49,872 --> 00:11:51,874
Well, you know...
168
00:11:52,541 --> 00:11:55,878
...while I do appreciate your
poetic sensibility, Mr. McAvoy...
169
00:11:56,044 --> 00:11:57,880
Call me Roy, Molly.
170
00:11:58,046 --> 00:12:02,718
Call me Dr. Griswold, Roy. I think I'm
more of the grip it and rip it school.
171
00:12:03,302 --> 00:12:05,304
Then let's tee it up.
172
00:12:05,679 --> 00:12:07,055
All right, waggle.
173
00:12:08,390 --> 00:12:09,516
Waggle.
174
00:12:11,018 --> 00:12:12,019
No, look.
175
00:12:12,185 --> 00:12:13,729
He's got her waggling now.
176
00:12:14,187 --> 00:12:15,564
Waggle the...
177
00:12:15,731 --> 00:12:17,524
...club head, okay?
178
00:12:18,525 --> 00:12:20,861
It's a relaxing ritual we do.
179
00:12:21,695 --> 00:12:23,071
Just waggle it.
180
00:12:25,532 --> 00:12:27,743
Waggle it and let the big dog eat.
181
00:12:30,037 --> 00:12:31,079
What big dog?
182
00:12:33,248 --> 00:12:35,042
- This is metal.
- All woods are.
183
00:12:35,209 --> 00:12:37,085
The driver's known as the big dog.
184
00:12:37,252 --> 00:12:40,255
I'm just saying let him
loose, let it rip...
185
00:12:40,422 --> 00:12:42,216
...let the big dog eat.
186
00:12:54,853 --> 00:12:57,606
You know, this is without a doubt
the stupidest, silliest...
187
00:12:57,689 --> 00:13:01,068
...most idiotic, grotesquely
masquerading game ever invented.
188
00:13:01,235 --> 00:13:03,570
Yes, that's why I love it.
189
00:13:03,737 --> 00:13:06,073
If you hit one good shot...
190
00:13:06,240 --> 00:13:08,951
...and that tuning fork
rings in your loins...
191
00:13:10,452 --> 00:13:11,912
...and you can't wait...
192
00:13:12,079 --> 00:13:13,080
...to get back.
193
00:13:13,413 --> 00:13:14,790
Try it again.
194
00:13:26,969 --> 00:13:29,137
The big dog just ate something.
195
00:13:30,931 --> 00:13:33,809
Did that tuning fork ring in your loins?
196
00:13:34,142 --> 00:13:36,478
Well, I wouldn't go that far.
197
00:13:38,146 --> 00:13:40,482
I always say quit on a good shot.
198
00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:44,653
Okay.
199
00:13:45,153 --> 00:13:46,321
And...
200
00:13:47,281 --> 00:13:48,949
...if you wouldn't mind...
201
00:13:49,116 --> 00:13:50,826
...paying me in cash?
202
00:13:51,159 --> 00:13:55,122
There's a little situation
I'm dealing with the IRS.
203
00:13:55,289 --> 00:13:59,668
I got to bob and weave around the
facts of life, if you know what I mean.
204
00:14:00,669 --> 00:14:02,462
Can I ask you a question?
205
00:14:03,130 --> 00:14:06,508
If you're such a legendary
golfer, as everyone says...
206
00:14:06,675 --> 00:14:09,636
...then why are you, at your age,
out here in the sticks...
207
00:14:09,803 --> 00:14:12,806
...operating a barely-solvent
business, ducking the IRS...
208
00:14:12,973 --> 00:14:17,185
...collecting a few dollars for beer
when you're capable of much more?
209
00:14:21,648 --> 00:14:24,026
Perhaps I'm chock-full of inner demons.
210
00:14:25,527 --> 00:14:26,820
No.
211
00:14:26,987 --> 00:14:28,864
You're chock-full of bullshit.
212
00:14:29,823 --> 00:14:30,991
Anyway...
213
00:14:31,158 --> 00:14:32,701
...same time next week?
214
00:14:38,207 --> 00:14:41,376
What'd you mean I should
try being saddled sometime?
215
00:14:43,337 --> 00:14:46,506
Were you being literal or
was that some Freudian deal?
216
00:14:47,216 --> 00:14:48,383
Molly?
217
00:14:48,550 --> 00:14:49,384
Doctor?
218
00:14:49,551 --> 00:14:51,386
What kind of saddle?
219
00:15:17,246 --> 00:15:20,707
David Simms. What the
hell are you doing here?
220
00:15:20,916 --> 00:15:22,501
Hey, there, Romeo.
221
00:15:23,126 --> 00:15:24,294
Been a while.
222
00:15:25,754 --> 00:15:27,214
Tin Cup around?
223
00:15:27,589 --> 00:15:30,717
No, he's in Houston on business.
224
00:15:30,926 --> 00:15:31,760
You know.
225
00:15:32,427 --> 00:15:35,389
I thought you were supposed to
be out on the pro golf tour.
226
00:15:38,100 --> 00:15:42,813
You tell Tin Cup that I'm in town for
my big charity Best Ball Tournament.
227
00:15:43,772 --> 00:15:45,524
I got a spot for him.
228
00:15:45,649 --> 00:15:47,734
If he ever gets back from...
229
00:15:48,610 --> 00:15:50,237
Houston.
230
00:15:50,445 --> 00:15:52,072
Yeah, wherever.
231
00:15:52,531 --> 00:15:53,740
I thought you hated him.
232
00:15:53,949 --> 00:15:56,785
Hell, I haven't even thought
about him in a dozen years.
233
00:15:59,454 --> 00:16:02,416
Not since the good old days at
the University of Houston...
234
00:16:02,666 --> 00:16:05,168
...where we won all
them titles together.
235
00:16:06,128 --> 00:16:07,546
God almighty.
236
00:16:07,838 --> 00:16:11,133
He says he carried you on
his back all them years.
237
00:16:11,300 --> 00:16:14,678
I didn't have much craft
back then, just a little...
238
00:16:14,845 --> 00:16:16,555
...native ability.
239
00:16:17,556 --> 00:16:19,099
Now, old Roy...
240
00:16:19,474 --> 00:16:21,602
...he's a hell of a ball-striker.
241
00:16:21,852 --> 00:16:22,936
What do you want?
242
00:16:24,855 --> 00:16:27,691
- I want to win my own tournament.
- I bet you do.
243
00:16:28,150 --> 00:16:32,279
He can help me if we can behave
like grown-ups together.
244
00:16:33,488 --> 00:16:35,073
You never know.
245
00:16:37,951 --> 00:16:39,369
You tell him that.
246
00:16:39,578 --> 00:16:41,205
I'll be sure to tell him.
247
00:16:42,164 --> 00:16:43,999
What's the catch?
248
00:16:47,085 --> 00:16:48,503
Hello, Cup.
249
00:16:49,504 --> 00:16:51,340
There is no catch.
250
00:16:51,715 --> 00:16:53,383
I put together a tournament...
251
00:16:53,592 --> 00:16:56,094
...with an elite field of players...
252
00:16:56,220 --> 00:16:58,305
...and a half-million dollar purse.
253
00:16:58,722 --> 00:17:01,892
And, by God, I'm tired of seeing
the money head out of town.
254
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,518
Make more birdies.
255
00:17:09,107 --> 00:17:11,026
That's where you come in.
256
00:17:11,235 --> 00:17:12,903
I need you on my team.
257
00:17:13,237 --> 00:17:15,822
What's the catch?
258
00:17:16,031 --> 00:17:19,368
We're playing Cottonwood,
where you once shot a 59.
259
00:17:19,535 --> 00:17:22,663
Where you can still
shoot a 65 in your sleep.
260
00:17:22,871 --> 00:17:27,417
You know every bump on the fairway
and every subtle break on every green.
261
00:17:27,918 --> 00:17:29,378
Hot tub, Roy?
262
00:17:31,547 --> 00:17:32,881
It's a spa.
263
00:17:35,217 --> 00:17:37,427
You and me at Cottonwood?
264
00:17:37,928 --> 00:17:39,638
Kind of like old times.
265
00:17:43,642 --> 00:17:44,434
Yeah.
266
00:17:44,643 --> 00:17:47,145
Well, put her there, partner!
267
00:17:47,646 --> 00:17:51,066
These two homeboys will show the
world what golf in Texas is about!
268
00:17:51,942 --> 00:17:54,236
I'll be a birdie-making machine!
269
00:17:55,153 --> 00:17:57,906
Whoa, whoa, wait a minute there, Roy.
270
00:17:58,073 --> 00:18:01,910
I didn't mean I wanted you to play
with me. I want you to caddy.
271
00:18:02,077 --> 00:18:05,414
You know, read the greens,
club me, that kind of stuff.
272
00:18:13,171 --> 00:18:14,214
Caddy?
273
00:18:14,798 --> 00:18:16,383
Come on, Roy.
274
00:18:16,592 --> 00:18:19,678
I can't bring a guy in off the
street to play in my tournament.
275
00:18:21,805 --> 00:18:25,893
For chrissakes, guys, this
has become a big-time event.
276
00:18:26,268 --> 00:18:29,605
Hell, I got corporate sponsors
and 30 bucks a ticket.
277
00:18:29,771 --> 00:18:33,609
This guy off the street can
kick your ass at golf anytime.
278
00:18:33,775 --> 00:18:35,194
Like he did in Junior Golf.
279
00:18:35,319 --> 00:18:37,279
Like he did in... No, fuck it.
280
00:18:40,699 --> 00:18:42,201
I'll give you $100.
281
00:18:42,701 --> 00:18:44,953
And 5% of any earnings.
282
00:18:45,829 --> 00:18:47,623
Get out of here!
283
00:18:47,831 --> 00:18:51,501
Take your pinche color coordinated
sponsored chingada and...
284
00:18:51,710 --> 00:18:54,755
...and take a flying fuck on the...
No, I got it.
285
00:18:58,300 --> 00:18:59,968
I was just offering work.
286
00:19:00,135 --> 00:19:01,303
Thank you very much.
287
00:19:06,516 --> 00:19:08,018
I'll take the job.
288
00:19:08,977 --> 00:19:11,230
Yeah, we'll take the job.
289
00:19:41,969 --> 00:19:44,638
It might be more than
you got in your bag.
290
00:19:44,805 --> 00:19:46,306
I could make that.
291
00:19:49,643 --> 00:19:50,852
Shit.
292
00:19:53,814 --> 00:19:54,856
Is he on?
293
00:19:55,566 --> 00:19:56,692
He's on.
294
00:19:56,984 --> 00:19:58,986
Pretty good shape too.
295
00:19:59,736 --> 00:20:02,990
Tin Cup can do it. I seen
him do it lots of times.
296
00:20:03,740 --> 00:20:06,201
You have extra-large huevos.
297
00:20:23,093 --> 00:20:24,219
Son-of-a-bitch.
298
00:20:24,428 --> 00:20:26,054
I told you.
299
00:20:26,263 --> 00:20:30,517
I had to. Your caddy said he'd
get on the green from here.
300
00:20:32,603 --> 00:20:33,854
I could.
301
00:20:39,026 --> 00:20:41,236
I got to hand it to you, Roy.
302
00:20:41,612 --> 00:20:45,532
For 15 holes, you seemed
to grasp the concept here.
303
00:20:45,699 --> 00:20:49,369
I'm trying to win this tournament
and your job is to help me.
304
00:20:52,539 --> 00:20:53,540
7- iron.
305
00:20:53,707 --> 00:20:55,042
I'm going to lay up.
306
00:20:58,712 --> 00:21:01,089
You can make that shot. Hell, I can.
307
00:21:01,298 --> 00:21:02,382
Easy.
308
00:21:03,717 --> 00:21:08,222
I know I can make this damn shot,
but the smart play is to lay up.
309
00:21:09,389 --> 00:21:13,769
These people didn't pay 30 bucks to see
a tour star lay up on a short par 5.
310
00:21:13,936 --> 00:21:16,772
I'm sitting on a 2-shot
lead with 3 to go.
311
00:21:16,939 --> 00:21:19,399
Thanks to you, my
partner's in his pocket.
312
00:21:19,608 --> 00:21:20,984
Suddenly, par's a hell
of a number to me.
313
00:21:21,527 --> 00:21:23,946
13 years on the tour,
you're still a pussy.
314
00:21:24,112 --> 00:21:28,367
Goddamn it, David, just hit
the fucking 3! Hit it!
315
00:21:28,951 --> 00:21:31,161
13 years in the driving range.
316
00:21:31,370 --> 00:21:34,665
You still think this game is
about your testosterone count.
317
00:21:35,165 --> 00:21:36,375
Back up.
318
00:21:39,878 --> 00:21:42,172
230 to carry, and the tour stars...
319
00:21:42,381 --> 00:21:43,674
...lay it up.
320
00:21:54,893 --> 00:21:56,645
Simms, from the rough.
321
00:21:56,812 --> 00:21:58,188
That's a smart play.
322
00:22:05,821 --> 00:22:07,656
You in a hurry, or what?
323
00:22:07,823 --> 00:22:08,532
Why?
324
00:22:08,699 --> 00:22:11,827
I bet Mickelson and McCord your
caddy can knock it on from here.
325
00:22:13,537 --> 00:22:16,540
Come on, guys, we're trying
to win a tournament here.
326
00:22:16,707 --> 00:22:19,668
We are. But I got 5-1.
I think they're good odds.
327
00:22:19,835 --> 00:22:20,919
He can do it.
328
00:22:21,169 --> 00:22:23,505
Let him hit it, it's only an exhibition.
329
00:22:23,672 --> 00:22:24,631
Come on.
330
00:22:24,923 --> 00:22:26,550
You can do it. I got a ball.
331
00:22:26,842 --> 00:22:27,551
Right here.
332
00:22:28,176 --> 00:22:29,219
Come on.
333
00:22:29,428 --> 00:22:31,555
Balls versus brains.
334
00:22:32,347 --> 00:22:34,224
You hit that shot, keep walking.
335
00:22:34,433 --> 00:22:36,184
'Cause your ass is fired.
336
00:22:44,234 --> 00:22:46,695
How'll you do that in front of everyone?
337
00:22:47,237 --> 00:22:49,448
Especially when I knock it on the green.
338
00:22:49,573 --> 00:22:52,242
It looks like the caddy
wants to hit the shot.
339
00:22:52,951 --> 00:22:54,536
What's going on down there?
340
00:22:54,870 --> 00:22:56,038
Boys...
341
00:22:56,205 --> 00:22:58,457
...things have officially changed here.
342
00:22:58,582 --> 00:23:01,376
Forget the 2-shot lead.
Forget the 3 holes to go.
343
00:23:01,543 --> 00:23:03,378
You need a glove.
344
00:23:04,046 --> 00:23:05,214
It'll help.
345
00:23:05,380 --> 00:23:07,049
Some side action.
346
00:23:07,216 --> 00:23:11,595
And the $250,000 purse has
just gotten a little bigger.
347
00:23:12,554 --> 00:23:15,265
You don't think this guy
can pull this shot off?
348
00:23:15,474 --> 00:23:18,268
I'll tell you, I don't
think there's any chance.
349
00:23:18,477 --> 00:23:21,230
This impending disaster's
a driving range pro.
350
00:23:21,396 --> 00:23:24,566
His name is Roy McAvoy
and he's called Tin Cup.
351
00:23:24,733 --> 00:23:28,570
I'm told he was a pretty good college
player, then went on mini-tours.
352
00:23:28,987 --> 00:23:31,740
He'll have to have been a great
college player to pull this off.
353
00:23:31,907 --> 00:23:34,993
He's got 240 yards, he's a
got a television audience.
354
00:23:35,118 --> 00:23:37,496
And he hasn't hit a golf ball yet.
355
00:23:37,621 --> 00:23:39,581
We don't see this everyday.
356
00:23:39,748 --> 00:23:42,417
National television, no warm-up.
357
00:23:42,584 --> 00:23:44,253
I don't know who this guy is.
358
00:23:44,419 --> 00:23:48,924
If he gets it out of there, I'd be
surprised. A pro I'd give 10-1.
359
00:23:49,091 --> 00:23:50,551
Dollar bills.
360
00:23:54,304 --> 00:23:55,931
He's not that good!
361
00:23:57,307 --> 00:23:59,518
Do you believe this?
362
00:24:03,021 --> 00:24:04,648
What a caddy!
363
00:24:04,815 --> 00:24:07,150
- Great shot.
- Thanks for the glove.
364
00:24:09,528 --> 00:24:10,195
You.
365
00:24:10,279 --> 00:24:12,614
Yeah, you, come here. Come here.
366
00:24:13,782 --> 00:24:14,658
Can you carry that?
367
00:24:15,450 --> 00:24:16,535
Pick it up.
368
00:24:20,539 --> 00:24:21,665
Nice shot.
369
00:24:21,832 --> 00:24:23,667
Come here a second.
370
00:24:24,543 --> 00:24:26,837
Take a hike. The loop's over.
371
00:24:27,045 --> 00:24:28,297
What?
372
00:24:28,463 --> 00:24:30,132
You can't fire me.
373
00:24:32,301 --> 00:24:33,552
How can you?
374
00:24:33,677 --> 00:24:36,471
Hey, I just knocked it stiff from 250.
375
00:24:36,972 --> 00:24:38,640
He's always been a jerk.
376
00:24:38,974 --> 00:24:40,309
What about my money?
377
00:24:40,475 --> 00:24:43,145
You hit the shot that took
you out of the money.
378
00:24:43,312 --> 00:24:45,188
Welcome to life on the tour.
379
00:24:47,149 --> 00:24:49,985
The Sports Machine brings
you a bizarre incident...
380
00:24:50,152 --> 00:24:53,322
...at the charity golf event
with tour star David Simms.
381
00:24:53,572 --> 00:24:55,157
Let's go to west Texas...
382
00:24:55,324 --> 00:24:57,868
...where driving range
pro "Tin Cup" McAvoy...
383
00:24:58,076 --> 00:25:01,205
...serving as a caddy to
David Simms at the celebrity event...
384
00:25:01,371 --> 00:25:04,166
...grabbed the 3-wood
out of his own bag...
385
00:25:04,333 --> 00:25:08,337
...and drilled a 240-yard shot
over water to the 16th green...
386
00:25:08,587 --> 00:25:10,380
If I had to do it over...
387
00:25:11,381 --> 00:25:13,217
...I'd still hit that shot.
388
00:25:13,675 --> 00:25:15,010
I know.
389
00:25:15,886 --> 00:25:19,181
You'd bury yourself alive to
prove you could handle a shovel.
390
00:25:19,389 --> 00:25:21,683
You know why?
391
00:25:23,227 --> 00:25:25,687
It's the only way you
could beat Dave Simms.
392
00:25:25,854 --> 00:25:26,855
No.
393
00:25:27,231 --> 00:25:29,399
'Cause you get that look on your face.
394
00:25:29,608 --> 00:25:32,110
Because that shot was a defining moment.
395
00:25:32,236 --> 00:25:35,906
When a defining moment comes along,
you define the moment...
396
00:25:36,114 --> 00:25:38,116
...or the moment defines you.
397
00:25:38,617 --> 00:25:41,537
I did not shrink from the
challenge, I rose to it.
398
00:25:41,703 --> 00:25:45,874
1981, Fort Washington Golf Club,
Fresno, California, ring a bell?
399
00:25:46,416 --> 00:25:48,752
The final tour-qualifying round?
400
00:25:48,919 --> 00:25:50,921
I was playing to win.
401
00:25:51,755 --> 00:25:55,425
Tried to hit the same impossible
cut 3-wood into the wind.
402
00:25:55,759 --> 00:25:58,887
- I was playing to win.
- 5 in a row, out of bounds.
403
00:25:59,054 --> 00:26:00,722
You finally pulled it off...
404
00:26:00,889 --> 00:26:03,725
...and tapped it in for a
crowd-pleasing 13.
405
00:26:04,142 --> 00:26:06,395
A 12 would have got you on the tour.
406
00:26:06,562 --> 00:26:07,729
Now that...
407
00:26:07,896 --> 00:26:09,565
...was a defining moment.
408
00:26:09,773 --> 00:26:12,234
And the definition was "shit. "
409
00:26:12,901 --> 00:26:15,445
Greatness courts failure, Romeo.
410
00:26:15,946 --> 00:26:18,282
You may be right, but you know what?
411
00:26:19,074 --> 00:26:21,577
Sometimes power is good enough to win.
412
00:26:29,710 --> 00:26:31,253
We owe her $12,000.
413
00:26:31,420 --> 00:26:33,297
No, I owe her $12,000.
414
00:26:33,463 --> 00:26:36,300
Fine, you owe her $12,000.
Like it makes a difference.
415
00:26:36,466 --> 00:26:37,676
It does.
416
00:26:37,801 --> 00:26:39,469
I only got one rule:
417
00:26:39,678 --> 00:26:42,598
Never bet money you don't
have on a dog race...
418
00:26:42,764 --> 00:26:46,143
...with an ex-girlfriend who is also
a stripper. You broke that rule.
419
00:26:46,310 --> 00:26:49,771
You need tell her something
nice to start off with.
420
00:26:49,980 --> 00:26:51,982
An ice-breaker. That's not hard.
421
00:26:52,191 --> 00:26:55,485
I'll say something. If it don't
come out right, you say it better.
422
00:26:55,694 --> 00:26:57,446
Doreen's looking for you.
423
00:26:57,613 --> 00:26:58,780
I'll bet.
424
00:27:05,329 --> 00:27:06,455
Tin Cup.
425
00:27:06,622 --> 00:27:08,790
Haven't seen you in 3 days.
426
00:27:08,957 --> 00:27:09,791
Been busy.
427
00:27:11,335 --> 00:27:12,336
Hi, sweetie.
428
00:27:12,502 --> 00:27:13,503
Hi, honey.
429
00:27:20,344 --> 00:27:22,304
That better be you, Roy.
430
00:27:22,471 --> 00:27:24,306
Just be nice.
431
00:27:29,478 --> 00:27:30,646
Doreen...
432
00:27:31,730 --> 00:27:34,983
...you're looking
particularly lovely tonight.
433
00:27:35,234 --> 00:27:37,528
It's nicer than the leopard suit.
434
00:27:37,736 --> 00:27:38,987
Cut the shit.
435
00:27:39,363 --> 00:27:41,240
You owe me $12,000.
436
00:27:41,365 --> 00:27:43,742
We're going to pay it, don't worry.
437
00:27:43,867 --> 00:27:45,494
I know you'll pay me.
438
00:27:45,661 --> 00:27:48,330
12 smackeroos. Where is it?
439
00:27:50,541 --> 00:27:52,668
- There.
- What is this?
440
00:27:53,377 --> 00:27:55,671
With equity and inventory it's worth...
441
00:27:56,255 --> 00:27:58,340
...12 grand, more or less.
442
00:27:58,507 --> 00:28:01,385
This is how you think you'll settle up?
443
00:28:01,552 --> 00:28:03,762
By giving me the driving range?
444
00:28:03,887 --> 00:28:08,392
Only on condition you don't sell
right away, and we keep our jobs.
445
00:28:08,559 --> 00:28:12,354
What in the world would I want
with your stupid driving range?
446
00:28:12,563 --> 00:28:13,772
Equity.
447
00:28:13,897 --> 00:28:14,898
Inventory.
448
00:28:15,065 --> 00:28:16,066
Cash flow.
449
00:28:16,275 --> 00:28:19,027
Plus an enhanced stature
in the community...
450
00:28:19,194 --> 00:28:23,282
...and a pre-paid membership
in Salome Chamber of Commerce.
451
00:28:24,074 --> 00:28:25,576
What are your labor costs?
452
00:28:26,368 --> 00:28:28,287
Everybody gets what they get.
453
00:28:31,415 --> 00:28:33,417
The tractor kid gets four.
454
00:28:34,209 --> 00:28:36,420
The tractor kid gets 5 bucks an hour.
455
00:28:37,588 --> 00:28:39,715
Give me, like, 6.
456
00:28:41,091 --> 00:28:43,302
And Romeo gets 10. Cash.
457
00:28:43,427 --> 00:28:44,887
What do you get?
458
00:28:46,430 --> 00:28:47,598
Me?
459
00:28:47,806 --> 00:28:50,434
To stand around and hit golf balls...
460
00:28:50,601 --> 00:28:53,729
...when you're not breaking for
beers or to gather the guys up...
461
00:28:53,896 --> 00:28:56,231
...to bet on which
crow'll fly off first.
462
00:28:57,316 --> 00:28:59,318
You mean my managerial salary?
463
00:28:59,443 --> 00:29:03,906
I'm referring to every nickel you take
from the till, every bag of nuts.
464
00:29:04,072 --> 00:29:06,325
That is what I'm referring to.
465
00:29:06,450 --> 00:29:08,452
He'll take the deal.
466
00:29:09,912 --> 00:29:11,330
What is the deal?
467
00:29:11,830 --> 00:29:15,584
Let's just say the driving
range is worth $10,000.
468
00:29:15,751 --> 00:29:17,753
You still owe me 2.
469
00:29:53,830 --> 00:29:55,415
She's been here a while.
470
00:29:57,167 --> 00:29:58,085
Am I early?
471
00:29:58,585 --> 00:30:03,340
Mr. McAvoy, I can appreciate that you
have a fairly laid-back lifestyle...
472
00:30:03,507 --> 00:30:05,092
...but I have hours to keep.
473
00:30:05,259 --> 00:30:09,012
All right. A former paramour
once ascribed my...
474
00:30:09,179 --> 00:30:13,141
...fluid sense of time to being
born under the sign of Pisces.
475
00:30:13,350 --> 00:30:16,520
Something about floating
through the universe.
476
00:30:16,687 --> 00:30:18,856
Oh, you amuse me, Roy.
477
00:30:19,189 --> 00:30:23,777
But I'm the only woman born after World
War II who thinks astrology's bullshit.
478
00:30:23,944 --> 00:30:25,988
Let's see if the big dog'll eat.
479
00:30:26,363 --> 00:30:27,447
Waggle.
480
00:30:28,782 --> 00:30:29,658
I'm waggling.
481
00:30:29,700 --> 00:30:31,034
Set up to the ball.
482
00:30:31,785 --> 00:30:33,036
I am.
483
00:30:36,582 --> 00:30:39,126
You're trying to wring the club's neck.
484
00:30:39,626 --> 00:30:41,044
Show a little warmth.
485
00:30:41,295 --> 00:30:43,046
A little compassion.
486
00:30:43,714 --> 00:30:45,799
Remember this game's about trust...
487
00:30:45,966 --> 00:30:47,009
...and touch...
488
00:30:47,801 --> 00:30:49,303
...and letting go.
489
00:30:49,469 --> 00:30:52,723
So while I subtly enhance
your technical prospects...
490
00:30:54,308 --> 00:30:57,352
...why don't you tell me
about your personal life.
491
00:30:57,561 --> 00:30:59,229
That's none of your business.
492
00:31:00,814 --> 00:31:02,566
Your boyfriend's a golfer.
493
00:31:02,733 --> 00:31:03,692
That's my bet.
494
00:31:03,901 --> 00:31:06,153
He's the reason you're learning.
495
00:31:06,653 --> 00:31:08,363
Hell, I probably even know him.
496
00:31:08,405 --> 00:31:09,948
Get your hands off her.
497
00:31:13,243 --> 00:31:14,411
Hi, honey.
498
00:31:15,162 --> 00:31:16,413
Hi, darling.
499
00:31:16,872 --> 00:31:20,083
He's taking her to Miami
for the fucking Doral!
500
00:31:20,459 --> 00:31:22,377
I can't compete with that!
501
00:31:22,544 --> 00:31:24,546
You are having a bad week.
502
00:31:24,713 --> 00:31:26,757
She must think I'm a nothing.
503
00:31:26,965 --> 00:31:31,553
Such a loser, a lousy driving
range pro, living in a Winnebago.
504
00:31:31,720 --> 00:31:33,472
She doesn't know you live here.
505
00:31:33,597 --> 00:31:36,266
She knows I'm not taking
her to no Doral...
506
00:31:36,391 --> 00:31:39,394
...for massages and mimosas all weekend.
507
00:31:41,104 --> 00:31:44,107
- I didn't leave it out.
- Well, I didn't.
508
00:31:46,276 --> 00:31:48,278
I must do something with my life.
509
00:31:48,487 --> 00:31:50,405
You just threw that in the spa.
510
00:31:50,572 --> 00:31:53,617
Must rise to a level worthy of
the women who think I'm a joke.
511
00:31:53,784 --> 00:31:56,745
You could go out and win the
U.S. Open. That'd impress her.
512
00:31:57,120 --> 00:31:58,247
What?
513
00:31:58,413 --> 00:31:59,248
Win the Open.
514
00:31:59,915 --> 00:32:02,251
She'll think, "You're wonderful, Roy. "
515
00:32:04,127 --> 00:32:06,296
Romeo, that idea has promise.
516
00:32:06,505 --> 00:32:10,634
The U.S. Open? The biggest
golf tournament in the world?
517
00:32:10,801 --> 00:32:12,761
Not just the biggest...
518
00:32:13,095 --> 00:32:16,098
...the most democratic golf
tournament in the world.
519
00:32:16,265 --> 00:32:18,141
- What do you mean?
- It's open.
520
00:32:18,517 --> 00:32:19,643
So?
521
00:32:19,810 --> 00:32:22,771
Anyone with a 2 handicap or
better's got a shot at it.
522
00:32:22,938 --> 00:32:26,108
You just must get through a local
and sectional qualifier, then like...
523
00:32:26,275 --> 00:32:29,611
...Doral or Colonial or
AT&T, they can't keep you out.
524
00:32:30,028 --> 00:32:33,782
They can't ask you if you're
a garbage man or a...
525
00:32:33,949 --> 00:32:36,660
...driving range pro whose
checks are signed by a stripper.
526
00:32:37,202 --> 00:32:39,121
You qualify, you're in.
527
00:32:39,288 --> 00:32:40,622
You don't got the game.
528
00:32:40,789 --> 00:32:42,457
I got every shot in the book.
529
00:32:42,624 --> 00:32:44,459
I'm talking about the game.
530
00:32:44,626 --> 00:32:47,337
The mental game. La
cabeza, you don't got it.
531
00:32:47,796 --> 00:32:51,675
Since you're the authority,
teach me what I ain't...
532
00:32:52,050 --> 00:32:53,552
...and never will be.
533
00:32:53,677 --> 00:32:56,179
What for? You never listen to me.
534
00:32:56,889 --> 00:32:58,682
This time'll be different.
535
00:32:58,891 --> 00:33:00,142
- Right.
- I promise.
536
00:33:00,309 --> 00:33:04,479
You don't have the money to get
your golf clubs out of hock.
537
00:33:04,813 --> 00:33:05,981
That don't fit.
538
00:33:06,565 --> 00:33:08,358
Don't force it if it don't...
539
00:33:09,985 --> 00:33:12,196
Is that what those things were?
540
00:33:12,362 --> 00:33:13,572
Flowers.
541
00:33:14,656 --> 00:33:18,827
You're going to play me
for $400 with those?
542
00:33:19,161 --> 00:33:21,997
And I'll give you two strokes a side.
543
00:33:22,372 --> 00:33:24,499
You ain't got no 400 bucks.
544
00:33:24,666 --> 00:33:26,210
My car title's collateral.
545
00:33:27,252 --> 00:33:30,088
I ain't interested in
that piece of shit.
546
00:33:31,173 --> 00:33:34,092
That's 'cause you think
of it as transportation.
547
00:33:34,259 --> 00:33:36,094
Think of it as bragging rights.
548
00:33:36,345 --> 00:33:40,891
Think of sitting around the bar crowing
about the Cadillac you won from me.
549
00:33:42,184 --> 00:33:45,229
They'll forget all about the
Winnebago you lost to me.
550
00:33:49,149 --> 00:33:51,401
I'll call the INS on you, you midget.
551
00:33:51,568 --> 00:33:54,404
I'll be playing a pink lady today.
552
00:33:54,655 --> 00:33:57,491
That little pink fag ball
supposed to intimidate me?
553
00:33:58,325 --> 00:34:00,827
Not unless I knock it by you.
554
00:34:01,161 --> 00:34:02,704
Louisville Slugger, please.
555
00:34:11,505 --> 00:34:12,506
I believe you're away.
556
00:34:12,673 --> 00:34:14,424
Don't worry about it.
557
00:34:14,633 --> 00:34:17,177
I thought I caught it on the toe.
558
00:34:21,265 --> 00:34:24,226
You drive for show and you
putt for dough, big mouth.
559
00:34:24,434 --> 00:34:27,271
Did you hear that?
Boone was being profound.
560
00:34:27,437 --> 00:34:29,898
Stay out of the rough. I recommend...
561
00:34:30,274 --> 00:34:31,525
...the shovel.
562
00:34:31,692 --> 00:34:33,026
That's what I think.
563
00:34:39,616 --> 00:34:41,451
I want a legitimate swing.
564
00:34:41,618 --> 00:34:42,953
No scooping.
565
00:34:48,542 --> 00:34:49,960
I'll finish.
566
00:34:54,882 --> 00:34:56,800
Get the hell off my course.
567
00:34:57,134 --> 00:34:58,760
Need a receipt?
568
00:35:00,721 --> 00:35:03,557
You know what I think? She's
got you by the huevos.
569
00:35:03,724 --> 00:35:08,478
Your job is to teach me patience and
humility. Don't advise me on love-life.
570
00:35:08,645 --> 00:35:10,772
Not all my thinking
occurs below the belt.
571
00:35:11,023 --> 00:35:14,443
I stand for a few things besides
my next romantic interlude.
572
00:35:14,651 --> 00:35:19,156
You'll have no trouble telling her you
can't teach her until after the Open.
573
00:35:19,323 --> 00:35:22,659
That'd make an issue out of
something that's not an issue.
574
00:35:22,993 --> 00:35:24,244
Besides, I'm focused.
575
00:35:24,411 --> 00:35:25,412
I am!
576
00:35:25,579 --> 00:35:26,997
This is my quest!
577
00:35:27,164 --> 00:35:30,250
This is my stand for the
guys who've had their...
578
00:35:30,417 --> 00:35:33,420
...fill of soulless
robots like David Simms.
579
00:35:34,004 --> 00:35:36,006
He may be a soulless robot...
580
00:35:36,173 --> 00:35:40,677
...but he's a rich, happy soulless robot
with a beautiful doctor-lady girlfriend.
581
00:35:40,844 --> 00:35:44,181
How'll getting into the Open
change her opinion of you?
582
00:35:44,848 --> 00:35:47,684
It'll show her I'm not
who she thinks I am.
583
00:35:47,851 --> 00:35:50,270
You are who she thinks you are, man!
584
00:35:50,437 --> 00:35:54,274
No, I will not give you time
off to go win the Open.
585
00:35:54,441 --> 00:35:56,109
I don't care if it's your quest.
586
00:35:56,276 --> 00:35:57,819
How about my destiny?
587
00:35:58,028 --> 00:36:01,698
Or your destiny. Or any other term
you remember from Cliff Notes.
588
00:36:01,865 --> 00:36:03,784
That looks stupid.
589
00:36:03,951 --> 00:36:05,536
You get mean, then petty.
590
00:36:05,702 --> 00:36:09,623
If you had been just a little nicer
to me when we were an item...
591
00:36:09,790 --> 00:36:12,543
...then maybe I wouldn't
be such a nasty boss.
592
00:36:12,709 --> 00:36:15,295
I have a business to run.
Bye-bye.
593
00:36:15,462 --> 00:36:18,382
Becky, come here, sweetheart.
Right now, hurry up.
594
00:36:18,549 --> 00:36:22,636
Your natural thing is really sweet,
but we don't do natural here.
595
00:36:22,803 --> 00:36:26,223
We do big and bold, colorful
hair, lots of it. Look at me.
596
00:36:26,390 --> 00:36:27,975
That's what we do.
597
00:36:31,478 --> 00:36:34,815
If you're going to take that
tone then we'll talk later.
598
00:36:34,982 --> 00:36:39,736
I'm sorry, I have things to do.
I don't need to be treated like that.
599
00:36:39,903 --> 00:36:41,738
So, good-bye.
600
00:36:43,574 --> 00:36:47,160
It wouldn't kill you just once
to tell her she's beautiful...
601
00:36:47,327 --> 00:36:49,246
...or that she can dance...
602
00:36:49,413 --> 00:36:50,581
...or she's sexy.
603
00:36:50,747 --> 00:36:54,251
Here I am, ready to charge forth
in pursuit of my destiny...
604
00:36:54,418 --> 00:36:56,920
...and I can't get time
off work to do it.
605
00:36:58,005 --> 00:37:01,258
I'm no expert here, but
it seems to me that...
606
00:37:01,425 --> 00:37:03,886
...the pursuit of destiny
isn't something...
607
00:37:04,094 --> 00:37:06,847
...you need to get off
a $7 per hour job to do.
608
00:37:07,014 --> 00:37:09,099
I'm stuck, man. I'm buried.
609
00:37:09,266 --> 00:37:10,517
I need help.
610
00:37:10,684 --> 00:37:13,353
I need advice. I need counseling.
611
00:37:14,771 --> 00:37:15,939
I need a shrink.
612
00:37:16,190 --> 00:37:17,941
You don't know no shrinks.
613
00:37:18,692 --> 00:37:20,027
I know one.
614
00:37:21,695 --> 00:37:24,114
No, no, no, not the doctor-lady.
615
00:37:24,364 --> 00:37:25,532
Why not?
616
00:37:25,657 --> 00:37:29,703
You can't ask her advice about
the woman you're trying to hose.
617
00:37:30,204 --> 00:37:31,455
Why not?
618
00:38:49,950 --> 00:38:51,368
I didn't say shit!
619
00:38:54,705 --> 00:38:57,040
Get in the other room, please.
620
00:38:58,959 --> 00:39:01,712
Sue Ann, honey, it's okay. Okay.
621
00:39:01,879 --> 00:39:04,548
You're going to be fine.
Take a deep breath.
622
00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:08,802
She was crying when she came out.
623
00:39:08,969 --> 00:39:10,637
So maybe it's something you said...
624
00:39:10,804 --> 00:39:12,806
That's the patient exit room.
625
00:39:12,973 --> 00:39:17,227
I knew it was some kind of room.
There were no magazines.
626
00:39:17,394 --> 00:39:19,396
Why are you here?
627
00:39:20,898 --> 00:39:22,399
Therapy.
628
00:39:23,817 --> 00:39:26,236
You've come for therapy? Okay, look.
629
00:39:26,403 --> 00:39:30,657
You need to make an appointment
because I have a client in half an hour.
630
00:39:30,824 --> 00:39:32,993
That's fine, I'm not that fucked up.
631
00:39:33,493 --> 00:39:36,747
Why don't you just have
a seat right there.
632
00:39:36,914 --> 00:39:38,415
Right over there.
633
00:39:56,350 --> 00:39:58,268
So how do I do it?
634
00:39:59,269 --> 00:40:02,856
Therapy, I mean.
How do I start doing it?
635
00:40:04,942 --> 00:40:08,779
In your parlance, "Kick back
and let the big dog eat. "
636
00:40:14,868 --> 00:40:18,956
Suppose there's a guy and he's
standing on the shore of a river...
637
00:40:19,706 --> 00:40:24,628
...and river's full of piranhas,
alligators, eddies, shit like that.
638
00:40:24,795 --> 00:40:27,714
And nobody'll even go
down there to dip a toe.
639
00:40:27,881 --> 00:40:32,803
And on the other side of the river's
a million bucks, on this side a boat.
640
00:40:35,138 --> 00:40:36,974
I guess my question is...
641
00:40:37,140 --> 00:40:40,727
...what would possess
a guy to swim for it?
642
00:40:40,894 --> 00:40:42,229
He's an idiot.
643
00:40:42,396 --> 00:40:44,481
No, see, he's a hell of a swimmer.
644
00:40:44,648 --> 00:40:48,735
His problem is more like why
does he always have to...
645
00:40:48,902 --> 00:40:50,487
...rise to the challenge?
646
00:40:50,654 --> 00:40:52,322
He's a juvenile idiot.
647
00:40:52,364 --> 00:40:54,324
You don't understand.
648
00:40:55,033 --> 00:40:58,161
We're talking about you
and your inner demons.
649
00:40:58,745 --> 00:41:01,039
That human frailty you blather about.
650
00:41:01,123 --> 00:41:04,126
Not some mytho-poetic
metaphor you come up with...
651
00:41:04,501 --> 00:41:07,254
...in a feeble and transparent
effort to do yourself credit.
652
00:41:07,796 --> 00:41:09,965
You're going to make me feel lousy?
653
00:41:10,382 --> 00:41:12,968
I want to feel better. What
kind of therapy is this?
654
00:41:13,302 --> 00:41:17,222
You don't have any inner demons.
You have inner crapola.
655
00:41:17,890 --> 00:41:19,349
Inner debris, garbage...
656
00:41:19,433 --> 00:41:21,977
...horseshit in staggering amounts.
657
00:41:22,060 --> 00:41:24,938
I'm not some just jerk
driving range pro...
658
00:41:25,105 --> 00:41:28,942
...who drinks too much booze,
eats too few vegetables, okay?
659
00:41:29,401 --> 00:41:30,569
Sit down.
660
00:41:30,736 --> 00:41:35,365
You're getting defensive, and I want
you to just tell me why you're here.
661
00:41:37,409 --> 00:41:38,577
A woman.
662
00:41:39,411 --> 00:41:40,579
A woman.
663
00:41:41,413 --> 00:41:43,165
Have you asked her out?
664
00:41:43,582 --> 00:41:45,834
Nah, she's seeing a guy.
665
00:41:46,001 --> 00:41:48,962
But he's a real horse's
ass, if you ask me.
666
00:41:49,046 --> 00:41:52,090
Maybe if you shared your heart
with this woman at dinner...
667
00:41:52,257 --> 00:41:54,593
...these issues would be in the open.
668
00:41:55,928 --> 00:41:57,262
I'm afraid she'll say no.
669
00:41:57,429 --> 00:42:02,184
So, your speeches about swimming
across shark-infested waters...
670
00:42:02,351 --> 00:42:05,270
...are about your golf game and
not about your personal life?
671
00:42:07,272 --> 00:42:08,106
Good, then...
672
00:42:08,273 --> 00:42:10,692
I didn't know we'd get
into my personal life.
673
00:42:10,859 --> 00:42:12,402
This is therapy, Roy.
674
00:42:12,611 --> 00:42:13,695
I know, but...
675
00:42:13,862 --> 00:42:15,864
...I didn't know it was that kind.
676
00:42:16,031 --> 00:42:19,535
Let's make this simple.
Please, sit down right here.
677
00:42:20,118 --> 00:42:25,040
Those risks you love to take on the golf
course you talk so poetically about.
678
00:42:25,541 --> 00:42:29,962
You need to apply those risks to
your personal life as passionately.
679
00:42:30,212 --> 00:42:32,214
I should just ask her out?
680
00:42:32,464 --> 00:42:35,884
And risk coming right over the
top, hooking it out of bounds?
681
00:42:36,051 --> 00:42:37,386
Absolutely, Roy.
682
00:42:37,553 --> 00:42:39,721
- That's good.
- No, I'm sorry.
683
00:42:39,888 --> 00:42:40,931
Look...
684
00:42:41,139 --> 00:42:45,727
...all you must do is walk up to
this woman, look her in the eye...
685
00:42:45,894 --> 00:42:46,895
Look at me.
686
00:42:47,479 --> 00:42:50,440
Look her in the eyes, that's right.
Let down your guard...
687
00:42:50,649 --> 00:42:54,903
...and don't try to be cool,
just be honest and take a risk.
688
00:42:55,070 --> 00:42:57,781
And then, whatever happens,
if you act from the heart...
689
00:42:57,990 --> 00:42:59,741
...you can't make a mistake.
690
00:43:17,009 --> 00:43:18,176
Dr. Griswold...
691
00:43:18,594 --> 00:43:19,595
Yes?
692
00:43:20,262 --> 00:43:22,180
I think I'm in love with you.
693
00:43:23,098 --> 00:43:24,641
From the moment I first saw you...
694
00:43:24,725 --> 00:43:28,604
...I knew I was through with
bar girls and strippers and...
695
00:43:28,770 --> 00:43:32,024
...when you first started talking
I was smitten with you...
696
00:43:32,191 --> 00:43:35,527
...and I'm smitten with you more
every day I think of you and...
697
00:43:35,694 --> 00:43:40,032
...the fact you know I'm full of crapola
makes you more attractive to me.
698
00:43:40,199 --> 00:43:42,784
Usually I can bullshit
people, but not you.
699
00:43:42,951 --> 00:43:45,871
And in addition, you
got great legs and...
700
00:43:46,288 --> 00:43:49,958
...most women I'm thinking about
how to get into their pants, with you...
701
00:43:51,877 --> 00:43:53,212
I'm just...
702
00:43:53,462 --> 00:43:55,714
...thinking about
getting into your heart.
703
00:43:57,716 --> 00:43:58,800
Stunned?
704
00:44:00,469 --> 00:44:01,220
So...
705
00:44:01,386 --> 00:44:04,890
...so what about dinner and
we can talk about us...
706
00:44:04,973 --> 00:44:05,974
...and if we have a future...
707
00:44:06,058 --> 00:44:08,310
...and how to drop that
horse's ass boyfriend of yours.
708
00:44:09,478 --> 00:44:10,812
Slow down.
709
00:44:10,979 --> 00:44:12,814
I'm staring eagle in the face.
710
00:44:12,981 --> 00:44:16,401
Just cut the golf talk, please.
Because this is a mistake.
711
00:44:16,568 --> 00:44:19,738
I'm acting from the heart,
how can that be a mistake?
712
00:44:19,905 --> 00:44:20,822
Right?
713
00:44:20,989 --> 00:44:22,407
Wrong, Roy.
714
00:44:22,574 --> 00:44:24,409
I mean, shit!
715
00:44:24,576 --> 00:44:26,537
I didn't know you meant me.
716
00:44:26,745 --> 00:44:28,580
Would your advice have been different?
717
00:44:36,838 --> 00:44:41,009
This session is over. I have
someone coming soon. Leave.
718
00:44:43,178 --> 00:44:45,180
I take it your answer is no.
719
00:44:45,514 --> 00:44:49,560
Our relationship is and will
remain strictly professional.
720
00:44:51,311 --> 00:44:52,437
That's it?
721
00:44:58,861 --> 00:45:02,906
I'm going to qualify for the U.S.
Open and kick your boyfriend's ass.
722
00:45:07,703 --> 00:45:11,206
Whatever you think of me, you
should know he hates old people...
723
00:45:11,373 --> 00:45:12,875
...children, dogs...
724
00:45:13,292 --> 00:45:16,712
...and that broad's crying
still in the exit room.
725
00:45:16,879 --> 00:45:18,714
You're still in the exit room.
726
00:45:29,349 --> 00:45:30,142
Hello?!
727
00:45:30,475 --> 00:45:32,227
Dr. Kasseldorf?
728
00:45:32,394 --> 00:45:33,562
You're there.
729
00:45:34,229 --> 00:45:38,442
You said to call if something
came up that confused me...
730
00:45:38,692 --> 00:45:42,487
...and shrinks need shrinks...
But, it happened. You said it would.
731
00:45:43,113 --> 00:45:46,533
A patient thinks he's
falling in love with me.
732
00:45:46,700 --> 00:45:49,703
He's not really a patient,
he's my golf pro, but...
733
00:45:49,912 --> 00:45:54,082
I know that under the circumstance I
should recommend another therapist.
734
00:45:54,249 --> 00:45:56,251
But there aren't any in Salome.
735
00:45:56,418 --> 00:46:00,422
He'd have to drive 100 miles
to Midland or Odessa.
736
00:46:00,589 --> 00:46:03,258
I'm not sure you could
count on help there.
737
00:46:03,425 --> 00:46:04,593
Me?
738
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:07,346
No, my self-esteem is fine.
739
00:46:07,512 --> 00:46:08,972
My self-esteem is fine.
740
00:46:09,765 --> 00:46:11,934
He's a good-looking man.
741
00:46:12,267 --> 00:46:14,520
Green eyes. I don't know, I mean...
742
00:46:14,686 --> 00:46:16,355
That's not the point, is it?
743
00:46:16,522 --> 00:46:17,981
He's, you know...
744
00:46:18,190 --> 00:46:20,150
...he's kind of cute. He's cute.
745
00:46:21,902 --> 00:46:22,486
But...
746
00:47:49,865 --> 00:47:51,700
You got a beautiful swing.
747
00:47:52,618 --> 00:47:54,369
I'm a beautiful guy.
748
00:47:55,037 --> 00:47:57,706
Look, Roy, I came to apologize, okay?
749
00:47:57,873 --> 00:47:58,874
For what?
750
00:47:59,041 --> 00:48:00,792
You did what I said...
751
00:48:01,001 --> 00:48:04,129
...and I poured cold water
over your efforts. I didn't get it.
752
00:48:04,713 --> 00:48:07,132
I'm a terrible shrink, probably.
753
00:48:07,299 --> 00:48:09,551
Should've stayed in real estate.
754
00:48:09,718 --> 00:48:13,972
Actually, I should have never left
Ohio for that cowboy in Amarillo.
755
00:48:14,723 --> 00:48:16,558
Ever been to Amarillo?
756
00:48:16,808 --> 00:48:18,227
Cowboy?
757
00:48:18,519 --> 00:48:22,564
Yeah. It's not as romantic when
you're actually with one, trust me.
758
00:48:22,731 --> 00:48:25,567
So, the oil man in Dallas or Houston,
I don't know where he was from.
759
00:48:25,734 --> 00:48:27,486
Anyway, he looked great.
760
00:48:27,861 --> 00:48:32,115
After that, I went to the Gulf
and ended up in trailer sales.
761
00:48:32,658 --> 00:48:34,743
Then condos in Corpus Christi.
762
00:48:35,077 --> 00:48:39,831
The bottom, just, boom, fell right out
of the market so I needed a new gig.
763
00:48:40,165 --> 00:48:41,625
A new gig?
764
00:48:41,833 --> 00:48:43,418
Yeah, therapy.
765
00:48:43,585 --> 00:48:47,339
I took all the classes.
I'm legitimate. Legal.
766
00:48:47,548 --> 00:48:51,009
Certified. Fuck! I'm certifiable.
I'm really sorry.
767
00:48:51,176 --> 00:48:52,844
Oh, boy.
768
00:48:53,679 --> 00:48:55,430
Can I have a doughnut?
769
00:49:03,105 --> 00:49:03,856
Thanks.
770
00:49:06,775 --> 00:49:08,026
Okay, look...
771
00:49:08,193 --> 00:49:10,654
I am flattered you asked me out.
772
00:49:11,572 --> 00:49:13,949
I can't accept because
I'm involved with David.
773
00:49:14,116 --> 00:49:17,286
I haven't seen him treat old
people, children or dogs badly.
774
00:49:17,619 --> 00:49:19,079
I'm sorry.
775
00:49:19,204 --> 00:49:22,666
I got carried away with the
David thing. I should have...
776
00:49:22,958 --> 00:49:26,378
I just want to make a
proposal, all right?
777
00:49:27,462 --> 00:49:30,632
As long as you understand that
it's strictly professional...
778
00:49:30,799 --> 00:49:32,551
...we're not going out.
779
00:49:32,718 --> 00:49:33,677
Tee it up.
780
00:49:34,595 --> 00:49:37,806
I think I can help you with
the mental aspects of the game.
781
00:49:37,973 --> 00:49:41,643
Romeo is your swing doctor,
I'll be your head doctor.
782
00:49:41,894 --> 00:49:42,811
What?
783
00:49:43,312 --> 00:49:46,148
You just said yourself
you're a crumby shrink.
784
00:49:46,315 --> 00:49:48,150
I can improve, Roy.
785
00:49:48,317 --> 00:49:51,320
I don't have the money to
pay you! I'm broke!
786
00:49:51,486 --> 00:49:55,407
You don't need any money to pay me!
We'll trade services.
787
00:49:56,158 --> 00:50:00,120
I'll give you my services
for golf lessons and...
788
00:50:00,245 --> 00:50:02,831
...I can help you
through the qualifying.
789
00:50:03,999 --> 00:50:06,168
If you make it into the Open...
790
00:50:06,627 --> 00:50:09,338
I'm on my own, you'll be with David.
791
00:50:18,931 --> 00:50:20,265
I don't want this.
792
00:50:28,941 --> 00:50:33,028
Third in the group, playing out
Roy McAvoy.
793
00:51:06,395 --> 00:51:08,564
Ben Hogan, now, who's he?
794
00:51:08,730 --> 00:51:12,985
I find him mildly attractive when he's
obnoxious and arrogant like this.
795
00:51:13,193 --> 00:51:14,319
Oh, good.
796
00:51:14,486 --> 00:51:16,071
That's his best side.
797
00:51:25,330 --> 00:51:26,707
They bugging you?
798
00:51:26,999 --> 00:51:31,086
Way I'm swinging today, nothing bugs
me except insufficient applause.
799
00:51:32,212 --> 00:51:33,755
Give me the lumber.
800
00:51:33,922 --> 00:51:36,258
I think you want to hit the 2-iron.
801
00:51:37,259 --> 00:51:39,094
I said I want the big dog.
802
00:51:39,720 --> 00:51:41,346
You got a tight par 5 here...
803
00:51:41,513 --> 00:51:44,766
...with out of bounds on the left.
The 2-iron seems best.
804
00:51:45,017 --> 00:51:47,936
I'm not going left or right
of those trees, okay?
805
00:51:48,103 --> 00:51:51,690
I'm going over those
trees, with a little draw.
806
00:51:53,233 --> 00:51:55,944
That way I get home in 2. That
way I'm putting for eagle.
807
00:51:56,945 --> 00:51:59,114
You don't need an eagle to qualify.
808
00:51:59,281 --> 00:52:01,033
Practice playing it safe.
809
00:52:01,241 --> 00:52:03,202
- No mistakes wins the Open.
- I want the course record.
810
00:52:03,368 --> 00:52:04,536
The lumber.
811
00:52:08,123 --> 00:52:10,042
You won't listen to me, will you?
812
00:52:10,876 --> 00:52:13,462
Even when I'm trying to help you, man.
813
00:52:14,630 --> 00:52:15,881
After all these years you
think I'm full of shit?
814
00:52:16,048 --> 00:52:18,133
I'll get penalized for slow play.
815
00:52:18,300 --> 00:52:19,760
Give me the driver.
816
00:52:19,885 --> 00:52:23,639
You're a head case. You always
have been, always will be.
817
00:52:23,805 --> 00:52:24,973
Let's ask her.
818
00:52:25,140 --> 00:52:26,391
Dr. Griswold.
819
00:52:29,645 --> 00:52:31,730
Should I hit the big dog or the 2?
820
00:52:32,147 --> 00:52:35,150
Soliciting shot selection
advice is a 2 stroke penalty.
821
00:52:36,276 --> 00:52:37,653
Trust your feelings.
822
00:52:37,819 --> 00:52:40,405
Now give me the driver and shut up.
823
00:52:43,825 --> 00:52:44,993
The driver?
824
00:52:45,160 --> 00:52:46,161
Fine.
825
00:52:46,787 --> 00:52:47,746
Here.
826
00:52:48,288 --> 00:52:50,249
Hit the driver, Tin Cup.
827
00:52:55,837 --> 00:52:58,423
I changed my mind. Give me the 3-wood.
828
00:52:59,299 --> 00:53:01,843
You can't throw that
dog leg with a 3-wood.
829
00:53:02,010 --> 00:53:03,262
You want to bet?
830
00:53:05,305 --> 00:53:07,182
Fine, take the 3-wood.
831
00:53:07,349 --> 00:53:10,435
Take it and show me
what a golf pro does.
832
00:53:16,358 --> 00:53:18,944
Guess I'm going with
the safe shot, boys.
833
00:53:21,196 --> 00:53:24,116
But, you know, sometimes I fan that 2.
834
00:53:26,326 --> 00:53:28,370
You better give me the 3.
835
00:53:28,704 --> 00:53:30,539
Is this normal behavior?
836
00:53:30,706 --> 00:53:34,209
The word normal and him don't
often collide in the same sentence.
837
00:53:36,628 --> 00:53:39,798
And sometimes I catch
that 3 a little thin too.
838
00:53:40,340 --> 00:53:42,467
- Don't do this.
- I've hit flies with the 4.
839
00:53:43,719 --> 00:53:45,304
Hit the damn ball.
840
00:53:45,470 --> 00:53:47,347
I've hooked my 5.
841
00:53:47,973 --> 00:53:49,474
I've shanked the 6.
842
00:53:49,641 --> 00:53:52,144
Sculled the 8. Fatted the 9.
843
00:53:52,352 --> 00:53:53,395
Chili-dipped the wedge.
844
00:53:54,229 --> 00:53:55,898
And I've bladed the sand.
845
00:53:56,899 --> 00:53:58,358
Putter?
846
00:53:59,067 --> 00:54:01,737
There is Mr. 3-Wiggle, isn't there?
847
00:54:06,658 --> 00:54:08,660
But then there's the 7-iron.
848
00:54:09,411 --> 00:54:11,872
I never miss with the 7-iron.
849
00:54:16,376 --> 00:54:19,004
It's the only truly safe club in my bag.
850
00:54:21,173 --> 00:54:23,759
The bag's lighter. You happy?
851
00:54:24,092 --> 00:54:25,886
No, I'm not happy, man.
852
00:54:26,428 --> 00:54:27,930
I'm tired!
853
00:54:29,264 --> 00:54:33,685
My life's too short to watch you blow
up all... I've done it too many times.
854
00:54:34,937 --> 00:54:35,771
Quitting?
855
00:54:37,105 --> 00:54:38,941
Goddamn!
856
00:54:39,691 --> 00:54:42,194
First sign of adversity, you quit.
857
00:54:42,528 --> 00:54:46,198
God! First time you can
qualify for the Open!
858
00:54:46,406 --> 00:54:48,033
What's wrong with you?
859
00:54:50,118 --> 00:54:52,788
Who wants to bet I can't
par with a 7-iron?
860
00:54:56,208 --> 00:54:57,459
Anybody?
861
00:55:02,130 --> 00:55:03,632
Take the bet.
862
00:55:03,799 --> 00:55:05,884
Shut up and hit the ball!
863
00:55:28,240 --> 00:55:29,950
You the man, Cup.
864
00:56:14,286 --> 00:56:15,787
Thank you, boys.
865
00:56:22,044 --> 00:56:25,547
What do you think my best shot was?
The 7-iron on 12?
866
00:56:25,714 --> 00:56:28,508
- That was a good one.
- Or was it 7-iron on 14?
867
00:56:28,634 --> 00:56:30,010
That was better.
868
00:56:30,135 --> 00:56:34,640
What about that bunker shot on 18
which to my recollection was a 7-iron.
869
00:56:34,806 --> 00:56:36,141
Yes, it was!
870
00:56:36,308 --> 00:56:37,309
All good.
871
00:56:37,518 --> 00:56:38,393
You're the man.
872
00:56:39,061 --> 00:56:39,895
Hey, Doc!
873
00:56:42,147 --> 00:56:43,398
How'd I do?
874
00:56:43,899 --> 00:56:45,901
You failed miserably.
875
00:56:46,068 --> 00:56:47,736
What're you talking about?
876
00:56:47,903 --> 00:56:49,655
I qualified for the sectionals.
877
00:56:49,821 --> 00:56:50,739
You did.
878
00:56:50,906 --> 00:56:51,657
I did.
879
00:56:52,074 --> 00:56:53,242
With a 7-iron.
880
00:56:53,575 --> 00:56:54,660
Yes, siree.
881
00:56:54,826 --> 00:56:58,747
Look, your job isn't just
to qualify for the Open.
882
00:56:58,914 --> 00:57:00,749
It's to prepare for the Open.
883
00:57:00,916 --> 00:57:03,335
My job is to help you prepare.
884
00:57:04,044 --> 00:57:06,755
Now, you said trust my feelings.
I did.
885
00:57:07,339 --> 00:57:10,551
I didn't know you felt like
breaking all your clubs...
886
00:57:10,676 --> 00:57:12,761
...and getting in a contest
with your caddy.
887
00:57:12,928 --> 00:57:14,012
Who quit.
888
00:57:14,179 --> 00:57:15,597
He always quits.
889
00:57:17,266 --> 00:57:18,267
He ought to be here.
890
00:57:18,559 --> 00:57:19,268
To the quitter.
891
00:57:21,186 --> 00:57:22,271
The little quitter.
892
00:57:22,938 --> 00:57:23,856
Nonetheless.
893
00:57:24,064 --> 00:57:25,357
Nonetheless...
894
00:57:26,066 --> 00:57:29,111
...from the mental aspect,
which is my domain...
895
00:57:29,361 --> 00:57:31,196
...you've regressed.
896
00:57:31,697 --> 00:57:34,366
And are fumbling between
delusion and denial.
897
00:57:34,575 --> 00:57:36,451
Regression, delusion, denial.
898
00:57:36,618 --> 00:57:39,454
Why must you use all the
psychological language?
899
00:57:40,873 --> 00:57:42,291
Having a bad day?
900
00:57:44,209 --> 00:57:45,127
No.
901
00:57:45,294 --> 00:57:46,461
Hi, honey.
902
00:57:49,590 --> 00:57:50,549
Shot a 65.
903
00:57:52,384 --> 00:57:54,595
Parred the backside with a 7-iron.
904
00:57:55,304 --> 00:57:56,221
Why?
905
00:57:56,388 --> 00:57:59,308
Yeah, that's exactly right.
That's the question, "Why?"
906
00:57:59,474 --> 00:58:01,560
Because he broke his other clubs.
907
00:58:02,394 --> 00:58:03,645
Snapped them in two.
908
00:58:04,479 --> 00:58:06,398
- Jesus.
- Not all of them.
909
00:58:06,607 --> 00:58:08,150
Romeo broke two.
910
00:58:10,611 --> 00:58:12,321
I'm on your side here.
911
00:58:12,487 --> 00:58:14,156
We go way back.
912
00:58:14,323 --> 00:58:17,492
I hope you qualify for the Open.
But if you do...
913
00:58:17,659 --> 00:58:19,912
...you better play with control...
914
00:58:20,162 --> 00:58:22,164
...or you'll get slaughtered.
915
00:58:22,331 --> 00:58:25,751
Good players shoot an 82 in the Open.
916
00:58:26,251 --> 00:58:27,753
You see...
917
00:58:27,920 --> 00:58:30,339
...it means you just can't go for it.
918
00:58:30,756 --> 00:58:34,676
I swear to God, this guy is
not who you think he is.
919
00:58:34,843 --> 00:58:36,428
It's a known fact...
920
00:58:36,637 --> 00:58:39,515
...if a camera's not on him he treats
old people and kids like dirt.
921
00:58:39,681 --> 00:58:40,682
And dogs.
922
00:58:41,016 --> 00:58:42,267
Jesus.
923
00:58:42,518 --> 00:58:44,520
Yeah, don't forget dogs.
924
00:58:45,145 --> 00:58:48,440
Okay, guys. You know what?
We better go. Come on.
925
00:58:48,649 --> 00:58:49,942
I guess so.
926
00:58:51,693 --> 00:58:53,946
You ever shoot par with a 7-iron?
927
00:58:56,782 --> 00:58:58,534
Hell, Roy...
928
00:58:58,700 --> 00:59:00,953
...it never occurred to me to try.
929
00:59:02,204 --> 00:59:05,707
I bet you $1,000 against my car
that I can beat you any game.
930
00:59:08,043 --> 00:59:09,211
Any game...
931
00:59:09,378 --> 00:59:10,546
...any golf club.
932
00:59:11,713 --> 00:59:14,174
Come on, Roy, this is ridiculous.
933
00:59:14,299 --> 00:59:15,551
Chicken?
934
00:59:21,723 --> 00:59:25,727
What, are you going to lay up
the way you did in the Masters?
935
00:59:35,195 --> 00:59:36,905
Any game, I name it?
936
00:59:37,406 --> 00:59:41,326
No, it's okay. I'm just going
to teach old Roy here a lesson.
937
00:59:41,702 --> 00:59:45,163
Why do men insist on
measuring their dicks?
938
00:59:49,751 --> 00:59:51,587
All right, let's measure.
939
00:59:52,921 --> 00:59:56,258
Roy! For God's sakes
I wasn't being literal!
940
00:59:56,717 --> 00:59:58,343
David, let's go.
941
00:59:58,510 --> 01:00:00,846
Wait. Molly, I got this one.
942
01:00:01,263 --> 01:00:05,350
We'll just call this Roy's mental
preparation for the U.S. Opening.
943
01:00:05,517 --> 01:00:09,521
Where the rough is deep, the greens
slick, and the nerves shattered.
944
01:00:10,022 --> 01:00:11,523
I'll take the bet.
945
01:00:16,862 --> 01:00:18,238
What's the game?
946
01:00:18,363 --> 01:00:20,365
Your 7-iron, Roy.
947
01:00:22,034 --> 01:00:23,619
One swing each.
948
01:00:23,952 --> 01:00:25,621
Whoever hits the longest.
949
01:00:26,955 --> 01:00:28,040
It's a lock.
950
01:00:28,248 --> 01:00:31,376
I hit the 7-iron like
John Daly hits the 3.
951
01:00:31,543 --> 01:00:33,253
Winner, winner, chicken dinner!
952
01:00:38,634 --> 01:00:39,801
Here okay?
953
01:00:40,052 --> 01:00:41,136
Fine.
954
01:00:42,471 --> 01:00:44,973
You guys are really being childish.
955
01:00:45,140 --> 01:00:46,266
Leave it to me.
956
01:00:46,642 --> 01:00:48,310
I know what I'm doing.
957
01:00:48,810 --> 01:00:51,313
You know what? I'll
see you both in the bar.
958
01:00:51,480 --> 01:00:52,397
Bye.
959
01:00:57,069 --> 01:00:58,403
Dollar bills.
960
01:01:04,409 --> 01:01:07,496
Them signs are at
least 30 yards further.
961
01:01:07,663 --> 01:01:09,998
That ball must have gone 220.
962
01:01:10,165 --> 01:01:12,084
Nah, 227.
963
01:01:13,085 --> 01:01:14,795
I toed it, but it'll do!
964
01:01:14,920 --> 01:01:17,172
- That's 227.
- Take your time.
965
01:01:17,339 --> 01:01:19,508
Limber up, fine with me.
966
01:01:21,093 --> 01:01:22,511
That's all right.
967
01:01:22,678 --> 01:01:23,929
I don't need to.
968
01:01:25,097 --> 01:01:26,682
Take your jacket off.
969
01:01:27,599 --> 01:01:28,809
I'm fine.
970
01:01:28,934 --> 01:01:32,604
You'll have to muscle up to get
it out there, give it the old...
971
01:01:33,105 --> 01:01:34,690
...steroid jerk!
972
01:01:42,322 --> 01:01:44,116
What the hell is he doing?
973
01:02:05,846 --> 01:02:08,557
He hit it down the
fucking road, didn't he?
974
01:02:08,974 --> 01:02:10,642
It's still going.
975
01:02:21,069 --> 01:02:24,156
You the man, Roy. You the man.
976
01:02:25,240 --> 01:02:27,242
You are definitely the man.
977
01:02:28,994 --> 01:02:29,995
So long!
978
01:02:30,162 --> 01:02:32,664
And the man needs a ride home.
979
01:02:39,713 --> 01:02:41,548
I always liked that car.
980
01:02:59,566 --> 01:03:01,610
I wish Romeo were here.
981
01:03:01,777 --> 01:03:03,779
I'm not cut out for this shit.
982
01:03:03,946 --> 01:03:05,739
I'm an observer by nature.
983
01:03:06,073 --> 01:03:07,616
Earl, shut up.
984
01:03:07,783 --> 01:03:09,117
Give me the big dog.
985
01:03:09,618 --> 01:03:10,786
Big dog!
986
01:03:10,953 --> 01:03:13,247
I thought that was the big fucking dog.
987
01:03:44,987 --> 01:03:47,114
Here, let me carry that.
988
01:03:57,499 --> 01:03:59,459
- You all right?
- Aw, shit.
989
01:04:00,961 --> 01:04:02,462
Give me the bag.
990
01:04:02,629 --> 01:04:03,463
No.
991
01:04:04,172 --> 01:04:05,465
All right.
992
01:04:09,511 --> 01:04:10,804
Get him.
993
01:04:18,478 --> 01:04:21,315
Like a million others you
made in your life, Roy.
994
01:04:22,149 --> 01:04:24,026
Just see it going in.
995
01:04:25,194 --> 01:04:26,653
Just feel it.
996
01:04:27,654 --> 01:04:29,823
Right in the back of the jar.
997
01:04:55,516 --> 01:04:56,892
Lord
998
01:04:58,644 --> 01:05:01,188
I can't afford to lose
999
01:05:15,410 --> 01:05:17,371
Romes, you come back!
1000
01:05:18,872 --> 01:05:20,707
You should've been there.
1001
01:05:20,874 --> 01:05:23,544
I drained a 30-foot snake to qualify.
1002
01:05:23,710 --> 01:05:27,714
Earl gives me the straight read,
thing breaks half a dozen times.
1003
01:05:29,049 --> 01:05:31,718
I missed you, pods. I missed you.
1004
01:05:33,720 --> 01:05:36,223
Okay, don't talk. You're still my guy.
1005
01:05:39,101 --> 01:05:42,563
It's a little late to be pissed off.
We're in the Open.
1006
01:05:43,063 --> 01:05:44,439
You and me.
1007
01:05:46,942 --> 01:05:48,569
Fine, be like that.
1008
01:05:49,736 --> 01:05:51,071
Molly been around?
1009
01:05:51,780 --> 01:05:54,116
Neither her nor me or the god of golf...
1010
01:05:54,283 --> 01:05:57,119
...will keep you from
blowing up in the Open.
1011
01:05:57,286 --> 01:05:58,954
I made it this far.
1012
01:05:59,121 --> 01:06:03,584
Didn't I? Didn't I? All I must do is
hold it together for 72 more holes.
1013
01:06:03,959 --> 01:06:07,421
There's a lot of triple-bogies
waiting to grab your white ass.
1014
01:06:07,588 --> 01:06:10,299
You complaining again?
Is that what I hear?
1015
01:06:10,465 --> 01:06:11,800
Shut up.
1016
01:06:12,301 --> 01:06:15,554
You're back whining, pissing,
moaning. You're back.
1017
01:06:16,722 --> 01:06:17,764
You're my man.
1018
01:06:18,473 --> 01:06:21,226
What, you didn't fall in love
with Earl to be your caddy.
1019
01:06:22,227 --> 01:06:24,438
He's a heart attack waiting to happen.
1020
01:06:24,646 --> 01:06:26,899
Cost me 3 strokes a side.
1021
01:06:27,316 --> 01:06:30,068
Hell, I had to carry the
bag the last 4 holes.
1022
01:06:33,906 --> 01:06:34,907
Look...
1023
01:06:35,157 --> 01:06:37,242
...I love old Earl, but...
1024
01:06:37,409 --> 01:06:38,744
...I need you.
1025
01:06:40,162 --> 01:06:41,413
You don't love me?
1026
01:06:42,956 --> 01:06:46,668
Well, yeah, yeah, I love
you too, goddamn it.
1027
01:06:47,169 --> 01:06:48,795
As much as Earl?
1028
01:06:49,463 --> 01:06:50,964
I don't know!
1029
01:06:51,298 --> 01:06:53,967
When I was with Earl,
I was thinking of you.
1030
01:06:57,804 --> 01:06:59,806
Yes, as much as Earl.
1031
01:07:00,015 --> 01:07:01,475
More than Earl.
1032
01:07:02,976 --> 01:07:04,645
More than Earl.
1033
01:07:05,979 --> 01:07:07,189
Am I special?
1034
01:07:10,651 --> 01:07:12,819
If you remove the sexual overtones...
1035
01:07:12,986 --> 01:07:15,531
...and add a golf theme, then, Romeo...
1036
01:07:15,697 --> 01:07:17,533
...I am your Juliet.
1037
01:07:21,328 --> 01:07:22,663
In that case...
1038
01:07:23,038 --> 01:07:24,373
...Julieta...
1039
01:07:25,123 --> 01:07:26,792
...I am your caddy.
1040
01:07:36,009 --> 01:07:37,803
Nobody's heard from Molly?
1041
01:07:37,970 --> 01:07:39,471
You got it bad?
1042
01:07:39,888 --> 01:07:41,807
Something about that chick.
1043
01:07:47,396 --> 01:07:49,314
Little chili-dipper there.
1044
01:07:49,481 --> 01:07:52,317
Be sure to do that in the
Open, it'll impress them.
1045
01:08:01,994 --> 01:08:03,161
I'm watching.
1046
01:08:03,328 --> 01:08:04,371
That ain't a chili-dipper.
1047
01:08:04,580 --> 01:08:08,166
Looks like you got el hosel.
You know, the laterals.
1048
01:08:08,333 --> 01:08:09,543
The "S" word.
1049
01:08:09,751 --> 01:08:11,003
What's wrong?
1050
01:08:11,169 --> 01:08:13,881
I don't know. The shanks are
like a virus. They just show up.
1051
01:08:14,089 --> 01:08:15,716
Nobody can figure them out.
1052
01:08:25,684 --> 01:08:27,394
Something's terribly wrong!
1053
01:08:27,769 --> 01:08:29,605
Something's wrong.
1054
01:08:29,771 --> 01:08:31,190
It's okay.
1055
01:08:31,523 --> 01:08:32,524
Well?
1056
01:08:33,025 --> 01:08:34,443
What's your guess?
1057
01:08:34,610 --> 01:08:36,445
It must be the woman.
1058
01:08:36,612 --> 01:08:37,863
You said a virus.
1059
01:08:38,030 --> 01:08:40,365
A woman can have the same effect.
1060
01:08:41,700 --> 01:08:43,535
What do I do?
1061
01:08:46,622 --> 01:08:48,457
Just keep swinging.
1062
01:08:48,624 --> 01:08:50,209
You'll be fine.
1063
01:08:59,051 --> 01:09:00,969
Don't say a fucking word.
1064
01:09:08,060 --> 01:09:09,895
I'll be inside if you need me.
1065
01:09:21,323 --> 01:09:22,950
Just work it out.
1066
01:09:57,192 --> 01:09:58,652
Hello?
1067
01:09:59,027 --> 01:10:00,612
Is anybody home?
1068
01:10:07,870 --> 01:10:08,829
My God!
1069
01:10:14,042 --> 01:10:16,169
Therapist laughs at the patient?
1070
01:10:17,045 --> 01:10:18,463
Is that how it works?
1071
01:10:18,964 --> 01:10:20,007
Is it?
1072
01:10:20,799 --> 01:10:24,219
A man's laid bare before God,
he's the butt of the cosmic joke.
1073
01:10:24,386 --> 01:10:25,512
I'm sorry.
1074
01:10:25,721 --> 01:10:26,638
Really.
1075
01:10:26,805 --> 01:10:29,808
Some of this shit might
actually work, you know.
1076
01:10:30,392 --> 01:10:32,352
There's something to this hat.
1077
01:10:32,728 --> 01:10:34,980
The golf ball pendulum thing.
1078
01:10:35,981 --> 01:10:37,232
May be onto something.
1079
01:10:37,399 --> 01:10:39,359
Oh, Jesus, Roy.
1080
01:10:39,735 --> 01:10:44,489
Quoting yourself, "It is a paraphernalia
for lost and desperate souls. "
1081
01:10:45,991 --> 01:10:49,494
A lost and desperate
soul stands before you.
1082
01:10:50,329 --> 01:10:54,833
I assume I have the confidentiality
of the doctor/client...
1083
01:10:55,250 --> 01:10:57,169
...privilege in regard to this outfit?
1084
01:10:57,336 --> 01:10:58,378
Of course.
1085
01:10:58,670 --> 01:11:00,005
What happened?
1086
01:11:03,008 --> 01:11:04,551
I got the shanks.
1087
01:11:04,760 --> 01:11:06,178
Are you taking penicillin?
1088
01:11:06,345 --> 01:11:08,514
There's a glitch in my swing.
1089
01:11:08,680 --> 01:11:10,516
That's Romeo's department.
1090
01:11:10,682 --> 01:11:12,684
He thinks it's your department.
1091
01:11:13,185 --> 01:11:14,520
Says it's a head thing.
1092
01:11:16,271 --> 01:11:20,234
I just came over to congratulate
you on the sectionals and...
1093
01:11:20,442 --> 01:11:22,402
...to return your car.
1094
01:11:22,611 --> 01:11:24,363
David just wanted to make a point.
1095
01:11:25,364 --> 01:11:26,907
You know what?
1096
01:11:27,115 --> 01:11:32,037
I suppose we could have a therapy
session right here and now.
1097
01:11:33,539 --> 01:11:35,290
I don't want therapy.
1098
01:11:37,125 --> 01:11:38,710
I want you.
1099
01:11:43,465 --> 01:11:44,925
I want you.
1100
01:11:46,134 --> 01:11:48,053
I must get some air.
1101
01:11:50,806 --> 01:11:51,974
Molly, wait.
1102
01:11:53,559 --> 01:11:54,810
Look at me.
1103
01:11:58,397 --> 01:12:01,400
Well, not at the moment,
but just listen to me.
1104
01:12:05,737 --> 01:12:07,489
You're with the wrong guy.
1105
01:12:08,240 --> 01:12:09,783
I'm the right guy.
1106
01:12:12,494 --> 01:12:15,455
Everyone says my face is
screwed up tight as a drum.
1107
01:12:15,664 --> 01:12:19,418
I know it's because I've
been crazy about you...
1108
01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:22,421
...from the moment you came
here wearing this stupid shit.
1109
01:12:23,422 --> 01:12:27,926
The whole thing's inspired me to get
here and caused me to get the shanks...
1110
01:12:28,093 --> 01:12:32,097
...which would humiliate me in front
of a billion people in a game...
1111
01:12:32,431 --> 01:12:34,433
...I used to play pretty good.
1112
01:12:35,851 --> 01:12:37,603
Such is life.
1113
01:12:40,856 --> 01:12:45,110
So dump that phony bastard you're with
and come to the Open in my corner.
1114
01:12:46,195 --> 01:12:46,945
Tell me...
1115
01:12:47,779 --> 01:12:50,032
...you're not just at least...
1116
01:12:50,616 --> 01:12:52,451
...moderately attracted to me.
1117
01:12:53,535 --> 01:12:55,704
You have moments, Roy.
1118
01:12:55,871 --> 01:12:59,958
You tell me which ones are my
moments and I'll duplicate them.
1119
01:13:00,375 --> 01:13:01,793
This is a moment.
1120
01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:02,961
Now?
1121
01:13:03,545 --> 01:13:07,216
I mean, just utterly exposed,
completely vulnerable...
1122
01:13:07,633 --> 01:13:09,384
...inner child trying to get out.
1123
01:13:09,551 --> 01:13:12,012
Yeah? My inner child needs a spanking?
1124
01:13:21,058 --> 01:13:22,976
I don't have a car.
1125
01:13:23,393 --> 01:13:24,811
Need a ride.
1126
01:13:41,370 --> 01:13:45,374
I know a little spot along the
river that's great to watch sunsets.
1127
01:13:45,582 --> 01:13:46,917
- I do.
- Watch the road.
1128
01:13:47,084 --> 01:13:50,754
- I know a spot that's great for sunsets.
- I bet you do.
1129
01:13:51,088 --> 01:13:52,673
Not tonight.
1130
01:13:54,174 --> 01:13:56,426
That means maybe some other night.
1131
01:13:56,593 --> 01:13:58,178
I didn't mean it like that.
1132
01:13:58,345 --> 01:14:01,682
Maybe consciously you didn't mean
it that way, but unconsciously...
1133
01:14:02,516 --> 01:14:05,018
Did you mean it unconsciously?
1134
01:14:06,019 --> 01:14:09,773
Unconsciously, I don't have a
clue what I'm talking about.
1135
01:14:10,607 --> 01:14:12,693
I feel we're making progress.
1136
01:14:12,859 --> 01:14:14,027
I do too.
1137
01:14:14,361 --> 01:14:18,031
I have no idea what it's
progress towards, though.
1138
01:14:18,365 --> 01:14:20,867
Consciously or unconsciously?
1139
01:14:39,052 --> 01:14:42,389
It may not be much of a
river to you, but to me...
1140
01:14:43,306 --> 01:14:45,767
...the Mississippi, the Rio Grande...
1141
01:14:46,393 --> 01:14:48,145
...the Danube...
1142
01:14:48,395 --> 01:14:49,730
...the Amazon.
1143
01:14:49,896 --> 01:14:52,566
I don't know about the Amazon, Roy.
1144
01:14:55,736 --> 01:14:58,739
Isn't it obvious to you
that you and me are...
1145
01:14:58,905 --> 01:15:00,824
...as comfortable together as...
1146
01:15:00,991 --> 01:15:02,242
...a couple of old shoes?
1147
01:15:03,577 --> 01:15:05,162
Old shoes?
1148
01:15:09,916 --> 01:15:12,753
Look, David's a really good person.
1149
01:15:15,839 --> 01:15:19,176
Whenever anybody says they're
with a really good person...
1150
01:15:19,509 --> 01:15:22,095
...it means they're about to leave them.
1151
01:15:22,429 --> 01:15:24,598
You're awfully judgmental.
1152
01:15:29,686 --> 01:15:32,147
It's one of my few redeeming virtues.
1153
01:15:34,191 --> 01:15:36,610
David's involved in a
lot of charity work.
1154
01:15:36,777 --> 01:15:40,030
- Gets his name in the papers.
- Let me just finish.
1155
01:15:40,197 --> 01:15:42,616
Many people don't see he's sensitive.
1156
01:15:42,783 --> 01:15:44,785
Well, so am I. I mean, hell...
1157
01:15:44,951 --> 01:15:48,789
Shit, I'm twice as sensitive
as he is. I mean, I...
1158
01:15:49,456 --> 01:15:51,792
I brought you to the river.
That's a...
1159
01:15:51,958 --> 01:15:53,460
...nature kind of thing.
1160
01:15:54,961 --> 01:15:59,549
It is a nature kind of thing.
It's a very nice river. Thank you.
1161
01:16:00,467 --> 01:16:03,970
But that's not the point. The point
is David is there for me.
1162
01:16:04,137 --> 01:16:05,305
Oh, God.
1163
01:16:05,472 --> 01:16:06,890
Not the...
1164
01:16:07,057 --> 01:16:10,394
..."He's a very good person
and he's there for me" thing.
1165
01:16:10,644 --> 01:16:12,062
Let me be your shrink.
1166
01:16:12,229 --> 01:16:13,897
That's not a good idea.
1167
01:16:14,064 --> 01:16:16,650
You sound like a woman
looking for a way out.
1168
01:16:20,237 --> 01:16:21,488
Warm?
1169
01:16:23,573 --> 01:16:25,158
That's enough, Roy.
1170
01:16:28,745 --> 01:16:29,913
I'm sorry.
1171
01:16:45,012 --> 01:16:46,596
We could kiss.
1172
01:16:47,180 --> 01:16:50,017
No, look, no harm, no foul just a...
1173
01:16:50,434 --> 01:16:52,936
...little, small, innocent kind of...
1174
01:16:53,103 --> 01:16:54,271
...kind of...
1175
01:16:55,105 --> 01:16:56,565
...semi...
1176
01:16:57,274 --> 01:16:58,608
...platonic...
1177
01:17:02,863 --> 01:17:05,449
Roy, there's no such thing as...
1178
01:17:05,615 --> 01:17:07,784
...semi-platonic, Roy.
1179
01:17:09,619 --> 01:17:11,038
There ought to be.
1180
01:17:15,042 --> 01:17:17,044
You should take me home.
1181
01:17:44,821 --> 01:17:45,489
Well...
1182
01:17:46,740 --> 01:17:48,658
Good luck in the Open.
1183
01:19:46,193 --> 01:19:47,861
It's got your name on it.
1184
01:19:49,363 --> 01:19:51,782
It's Lee Janzen and Billy Mayfair.
1185
01:19:53,617 --> 01:19:55,535
They look just like they do on TV.
1186
01:19:55,702 --> 01:19:56,703
Look.
1187
01:19:59,706 --> 01:20:01,208
Look at these balls.
1188
01:20:01,625 --> 01:20:03,043
Brand-new Titleist.
1189
01:20:03,627 --> 01:20:04,711
Look at them.
1190
01:20:04,878 --> 01:20:07,130
Every one of them, brand-new Titleist.
1191
01:20:08,715 --> 01:20:10,801
Sneak a few in the bag.
1192
01:20:11,218 --> 01:20:15,138
We swipe enough free shit,
we may pay for this fiasco.
1193
01:20:15,972 --> 01:20:19,309
Would it be inappropriate if I asked
Lee Janzen for his autograph?
1194
01:20:19,476 --> 01:20:24,398
I think that's a dead giveaway, but if I
got the shanks, we'll be found out soon.
1195
01:20:26,233 --> 01:20:28,652
Hit the 7.
You always hit that good.
1196
01:20:29,069 --> 01:20:29,986
Good thinking.
1197
01:20:30,153 --> 01:20:31,488
Come on, man.
1198
01:20:33,907 --> 01:20:35,492
Keep your head down.
1199
01:20:35,742 --> 01:20:37,577
You're making me nervous.
1200
01:20:43,667 --> 01:20:45,335
- Who hit that shot?!
- Yeah, who hit it?
1201
01:20:45,502 --> 01:20:46,586
Anyone see?
1202
01:20:46,753 --> 01:20:48,088
You're supposed to be pros!
1203
01:20:49,256 --> 01:20:51,508
- A little thin.
- A little fucking thin.
1204
01:20:51,675 --> 01:20:53,176
I still got the shanks.
1205
01:20:53,343 --> 01:20:55,178
- Don't worry.
- Everyone's watching.
1206
01:20:55,345 --> 01:20:56,596
Nobody's watching.
1207
01:20:56,763 --> 01:20:59,516
Just hit them up. Just stand
up there. You can do it.
1208
01:21:14,031 --> 01:21:16,700
The guys down the line
are a little concerned.
1209
01:21:17,117 --> 01:21:18,118
You're Tin Cup?
1210
01:21:18,285 --> 01:21:21,455
Right, McAvoy from West Texas.
We're from West Texas.
1211
01:21:21,621 --> 01:21:22,706
Try aiming left.
1212
01:21:22,873 --> 01:21:25,625
Try backing up and giving
me just a little room.
1213
01:21:29,629 --> 01:21:30,881
That's Johnny Miller.
1214
01:21:31,048 --> 01:21:32,549
I don't give a fuck.
1215
01:21:32,924 --> 01:21:34,384
Jesus, Cup.
1216
01:21:34,760 --> 01:21:37,179
- Can I have your autograph.
- No problem. To who?
1217
01:21:38,263 --> 01:21:39,890
To Romeo, my best friend,
1218
01:21:41,016 --> 01:21:42,225
Good luck to you guys.
1219
01:21:42,601 --> 01:21:45,937
You might want to make plane
reservations soon, the way you're hitting.
1220
01:21:46,104 --> 01:21:48,357
Great Open in '73.
1221
01:21:48,523 --> 01:21:50,442
- What a nice guy.
- Did you get his autograph?
1222
01:21:50,525 --> 01:21:53,487
- Yeah, look... my best friend.
- See who's over there?
1223
01:21:53,862 --> 01:21:54,863
Jesus Christ.
1224
01:21:55,030 --> 01:21:57,032
It's only an autograph, man.
1225
01:21:57,366 --> 01:21:59,117
Simms is here.
1226
01:22:02,120 --> 01:22:03,705
Shit.
1227
01:22:03,872 --> 01:22:05,916
Hit your putter, you can't shank.
1228
01:22:05,999 --> 01:22:09,378
You're the Mexican Mac O'Grady.
Figure out why I'm shanking.
1229
01:22:09,795 --> 01:22:11,713
- Now what?
- Shoot.
1230
01:22:11,880 --> 01:22:13,882
I'm catching it on the hosel?
1231
01:22:14,466 --> 01:22:15,967
Moving my head?
1232
01:22:16,301 --> 01:22:18,261
- I'm laying it off?
- That, too.
1233
01:22:18,470 --> 01:22:19,554
I'm pronating.
1234
01:22:19,721 --> 01:22:23,392
- When you're not supinating.
- I'm clearing too early, too late.
1235
01:22:23,558 --> 01:22:25,894
My swing feels like an unfolding chair!
1236
01:22:29,398 --> 01:22:31,400
Put your change in your left pocket.
1237
01:22:32,150 --> 01:22:33,652
Go on, do it.
1238
01:22:37,989 --> 01:22:41,076
Now, tie your left
shoe in a double knot.
1239
01:22:41,243 --> 01:22:43,745
- Tie my left shoe?
- Right now, do it!
1240
01:22:50,752 --> 01:22:52,170
Turn the hat backwards.
1241
01:22:52,462 --> 01:22:54,798
Turn your hat around.
Do it, Roy!
1242
01:22:59,177 --> 01:23:00,429
Take this tee...
1243
01:23:00,595 --> 01:23:01,930
...and stick it...
1244
01:23:02,514 --> 01:23:03,849
...behind your left ear.
1245
01:23:06,351 --> 01:23:07,936
I look like a fool!
1246
01:23:08,103 --> 01:23:12,107
What do you think you look like
shooting chili peppers up Janzen's ass?
1247
01:23:14,026 --> 01:23:16,361
Do it now or I'm going to quit.
1248
01:23:16,528 --> 01:23:18,530
I swear to God I'll quit.
1249
01:23:19,948 --> 01:23:21,116
Good.
1250
01:23:21,283 --> 01:23:22,284
Take this ball...
1251
01:23:22,451 --> 01:23:24,453
...and hit it up the fairway.
1252
01:23:24,619 --> 01:23:25,787
You're ready.
1253
01:23:40,469 --> 01:23:41,720
How'd I do that?
1254
01:23:41,887 --> 01:23:45,807
Because you're not thinking
about shanking or Molly.
1255
01:23:45,974 --> 01:23:47,225
You're not thinking.
1256
01:23:47,392 --> 01:23:50,354
You're looking like a fool,
hitting the ball pure and simple...
1257
01:23:50,562 --> 01:23:51,313
Fuck you.
1258
01:23:51,480 --> 01:23:54,149
Fuck me, huh? Well, you're cured.
1259
01:23:56,401 --> 01:23:57,652
That's it?
1260
01:23:58,403 --> 01:23:59,654
That's it.
1261
01:23:59,821 --> 01:24:01,990
Your brain was getting in the way.
1262
01:24:03,575 --> 01:24:05,744
That's hardly ever been the case.
1263
01:24:05,911 --> 01:24:07,245
No shit, Sherlock.
1264
01:24:07,412 --> 01:24:08,664
What next?
1265
01:24:10,749 --> 01:24:13,251
You should work on
your short game but...
1266
01:24:14,002 --> 01:24:15,253
...get drunk.
1267
01:24:15,420 --> 01:24:16,838
Get drunk?
1268
01:24:17,506 --> 01:24:19,091
You play better.
1269
01:24:21,259 --> 01:24:22,844
Remember Brownsville?
1270
01:24:25,013 --> 01:24:25,764
Come on.
1271
01:24:25,931 --> 01:24:27,099
When do I tee off?
1272
01:24:27,265 --> 01:24:29,768
At 7:08. We're the first guys going.
1273
01:24:29,935 --> 01:24:32,187
Come on, one more, just do it.
1274
01:24:32,354 --> 01:24:33,188
Come on.
1275
01:24:33,355 --> 01:24:35,273
- Get it down.
- That's in 4 hours.
1276
01:24:35,440 --> 01:24:36,108
Right.
1277
01:24:39,861 --> 01:24:43,782
Here's to the finely-tuned
athlete on the verge of greatness.
1278
01:25:01,008 --> 01:25:02,509
Should have set an alarm.
1279
01:25:04,845 --> 01:25:06,471
The 7:08 pairing...
1280
01:25:06,680 --> 01:25:09,725
...from Salami, Texas, Mr. Roy McAvoy.
1281
01:25:10,976 --> 01:25:12,811
Any time for a quick bucket?
1282
01:25:12,978 --> 01:25:13,937
Tee it up.
1283
01:25:16,148 --> 01:25:19,234
We almost missed the starting
time getting you off the floor.
1284
01:25:19,401 --> 01:25:22,320
You don't handle hooch like you used to.
1285
01:25:23,488 --> 01:25:27,325
I've seen this hole on TV.
Hit the big dog up the chute.
1286
01:25:27,492 --> 01:25:31,330
I've learned my lesson.
I'll play it safe, smart...
1287
01:25:31,913 --> 01:25:33,332
...conservative.
1288
01:25:34,166 --> 01:25:36,585
Fairways and greens. Hand me a 2-iron.
1289
01:25:37,002 --> 01:25:37,919
You sure?
1290
01:25:42,716 --> 01:25:44,092
Here we go.
1291
01:25:51,266 --> 01:25:52,934
Not a good day.
1292
01:25:53,769 --> 01:25:55,187
Be humble.
1293
01:26:02,235 --> 01:26:03,445
Be humble.
1294
01:26:03,612 --> 01:26:04,613
83.
1295
01:26:04,946 --> 01:26:06,615
You're humble now, homes.
1296
01:26:07,032 --> 01:26:08,700
I was hungover.
1297
01:26:09,910 --> 01:26:11,870
Maybe that was a coaching mistake.
1298
01:26:12,037 --> 01:26:14,873
Yeah, maybe it was.
Thanks, amigo.
1299
01:26:15,457 --> 01:26:16,875
David Simms...
1300
01:26:17,042 --> 01:26:21,505
...is the first-round leader at the
U.S. Open after a brilliant 67.
1301
01:26:22,255 --> 01:26:24,383
Well, Jim, I must tell you...
1302
01:26:24,549 --> 01:26:28,887
...I didn't expect to go out
there right out and shoot a 67.
1303
01:26:31,640 --> 01:26:35,227
I've marveled at how you've been
able to balance superb play...
1304
01:26:35,435 --> 01:26:37,312
...with the energy you give...
1305
01:26:37,479 --> 01:26:40,148
...to so many charities
and all of your fans.
1306
01:26:40,315 --> 01:26:43,652
Well, you know I...
This game is about...
1307
01:26:43,819 --> 01:26:46,321
...tradition and integrity and honor.
1308
01:26:46,571 --> 01:26:49,491
You know, the U.S. Open is it for us.
1309
01:26:49,658 --> 01:26:53,412
So I'm going to go out tomorrow
and try to make some good swings.
1310
01:26:53,578 --> 01:26:54,830
Lord willing...
1311
01:26:55,163 --> 01:26:56,581
...I'll do well and...
1312
01:26:56,790 --> 01:26:59,167
The Anti-Christ shoots 67.
1313
01:26:59,793 --> 01:27:00,919
Believe that?
1314
01:27:01,086 --> 01:27:04,423
Yeah, the old Antichrist
had a hot putter today.
1315
01:27:05,007 --> 01:27:06,341
Good seeing you.
1316
01:27:08,176 --> 01:27:10,929
Be well, buddy. I'll see
you out in the trenches.
1317
01:27:11,972 --> 01:27:13,682
I must run right now...
1318
01:27:13,849 --> 01:27:15,517
...but I'll see you later.
1319
01:27:16,101 --> 01:27:18,437
Christ Almighty Jesus.
1320
01:27:19,604 --> 01:27:21,356
The cover or nothing.
1321
01:27:21,523 --> 01:27:24,860
They want you for USA Weekend.
We're saying it's the cover or no go.
1322
01:27:27,112 --> 01:27:28,780
Excuse me, Mr. Simms.
1323
01:27:28,989 --> 01:27:31,450
Would you give our
grandson an autograph?
1324
01:27:31,616 --> 01:27:32,951
Please, Mr. Simms?
1325
01:27:33,118 --> 01:27:36,079
Can you people not see that
I'm busy? I'm working.
1326
01:27:36,371 --> 01:27:37,789
This is my office.
1327
01:27:37,998 --> 01:27:40,625
Do I come to your office
and ask for an autograph?
1328
01:27:40,834 --> 01:27:42,127
I don't think so.
1329
01:27:42,336 --> 01:27:43,545
Jesus.
1330
01:27:43,712 --> 01:27:45,130
What an ugly dog.
1331
01:27:46,131 --> 01:27:47,966
It's okay, Joe.
1332
01:28:01,646 --> 01:28:03,315
- Nice playing.
- Hell of a round.
1333
01:28:03,565 --> 01:28:04,733
Great start.
1334
01:28:04,900 --> 01:28:06,735
I got lucky out there.
1335
01:28:09,571 --> 01:28:10,822
Hello, Cup.
1336
01:28:12,532 --> 01:28:16,078
I heard you put a monster
number up there.
1337
01:28:16,244 --> 01:28:18,246
It could have been worse.
1338
01:28:19,081 --> 01:28:23,418
I played in the Pro-Am with some
asshole movie star here once.
1339
01:28:24,753 --> 01:28:26,505
Shot an 82.
1340
01:28:27,255 --> 01:28:29,257
Now, how in the world...
1341
01:28:29,424 --> 01:28:32,386
...can a great ball-striker like you...
1342
01:28:32,678 --> 01:28:33,845
...a legend...
1343
01:28:35,555 --> 01:28:37,766
...manage to put up an 83?
1344
01:28:38,392 --> 01:28:41,186
Well, I missed a 4-foot putt on 18...
1345
01:28:41,395 --> 01:28:42,771
...for an 82.
1346
01:28:43,397 --> 01:28:44,690
That's how.
1347
01:28:45,107 --> 01:28:49,277
Ain't like playing some muni-track
in Brownsville, is it?
1348
01:28:50,195 --> 01:28:53,031
Does "integrity, tradition and honor"...
1349
01:28:53,448 --> 01:28:55,701
...include kicking a man when he's down?
1350
01:28:58,787 --> 01:29:00,789
This is just guy stuff.
1351
01:29:01,790 --> 01:29:03,208
It's just bar talk.
1352
01:29:03,417 --> 01:29:04,126
No offense?
1353
01:29:04,626 --> 01:29:07,462
This man still has a lot of
great golf shots in his system.
1354
01:29:07,629 --> 01:29:09,131
It's okay. Go away.
1355
01:29:09,297 --> 01:29:12,300
Just... I don't need any
attention right now.
1356
01:29:12,592 --> 01:29:16,054
I'll bet you $100 that
Roy can hit a ball...
1357
01:29:16,221 --> 01:29:18,890
...through the door, over
the patio into the river.
1358
01:29:19,099 --> 01:29:21,977
And, Harold, give me a
vodka tonic with a twist.
1359
01:29:23,645 --> 01:29:25,814
Really, this isn't dignified.
1360
01:29:26,940 --> 01:29:28,984
Oh, I am so sorry.
1361
01:29:30,318 --> 01:29:31,903
I just want to go home.
1362
01:29:32,821 --> 01:29:34,322
What about the river?
1363
01:29:34,948 --> 01:29:38,076
The piranha, the immortality,
all that bullshit?
1364
01:29:38,660 --> 01:29:41,413
You going to drag your
ass home with an 83?
1365
01:29:44,499 --> 01:29:46,001
$200.
1366
01:29:46,501 --> 01:29:47,586
For $200...
1367
01:29:48,337 --> 01:29:53,175
...Roy can hit the ball through the bar,
out the patio, into the river...
1368
01:29:53,342 --> 01:29:56,762
...and make that pelican
right there fly off its post.
1369
01:29:57,137 --> 01:29:58,597
From right here.
1370
01:30:02,476 --> 01:30:03,518
God Almighty.
1371
01:30:03,685 --> 01:30:05,354
This is ridiculous.
1372
01:30:09,274 --> 01:30:11,443
You got the shot, pods.
1373
01:30:11,985 --> 01:30:13,695
Romeo, shut up.
1374
01:30:14,154 --> 01:30:17,699
Just turn it over and start it
off low and go it right to left...
1375
01:30:17,866 --> 01:30:18,950
He can do it.
1376
01:30:19,159 --> 01:30:23,789
You can do it. And I'm not leaving till
one of you men act in a manly fashion.
1377
01:30:23,997 --> 01:30:25,874
Can we get this over with?
1378
01:30:33,507 --> 01:30:34,716
One ball...
1379
01:30:34,883 --> 01:30:36,468
...one swing...
1380
01:30:38,303 --> 01:30:39,054
...one...
1381
01:30:40,055 --> 01:30:41,306
...pelican.
1382
01:30:42,182 --> 01:30:43,141
From there.
1383
01:30:44,184 --> 01:30:45,310
You can do it.
1384
01:30:45,519 --> 01:30:47,813
You're the man. Shut him up.
1385
01:30:58,031 --> 01:30:59,408
One swing?
1386
01:30:59,574 --> 01:31:00,909
One swing.
1387
01:31:01,076 --> 01:31:02,035
4 to 1.
1388
01:31:02,202 --> 01:31:03,662
Give him 10-1.
1389
01:31:06,415 --> 01:31:08,000
I'll need a fairway.
1390
01:31:08,208 --> 01:31:09,668
Here's what he's got.
1391
01:31:09,835 --> 01:31:14,506
30 yards of bar and grill, then must go
through the doors, over umbrellas...
1392
01:31:14,715 --> 01:31:16,508
...then carry 30 yards of river.
1393
01:31:16,717 --> 01:31:18,927
He must pop that pelican off its perch.
1394
01:31:19,094 --> 01:31:20,929
Kind of a thin line.
1395
01:31:21,096 --> 01:31:24,182
Beats that deep shit
rough you were in all day.
1396
01:31:25,392 --> 01:31:26,727
Pelican's on the other side.
1397
01:31:27,227 --> 01:31:29,187
What a tough shot.
1398
01:31:29,438 --> 01:31:34,026
He's just got to be thinking of that
brutal, ego-sapping, manhood-robbing...
1399
01:31:34,234 --> 01:31:36,695
...83 he buried himself under today.
1400
01:31:36,862 --> 01:31:38,447
That's an avalanche of strokes.
1401
01:31:39,281 --> 01:31:40,866
Get control of that guy.
1402
01:31:41,074 --> 01:31:43,118
Will you shut up? Get down.
1403
01:31:56,631 --> 01:31:58,300
Did you see that shot?!
1404
01:31:58,592 --> 01:32:00,218
Oh, my God!
1405
01:32:05,474 --> 01:32:06,975
That should cover it.
1406
01:32:08,810 --> 01:32:09,770
You know...
1407
01:32:10,979 --> 01:32:12,981
...you're all fucking nuts.
1408
01:32:22,908 --> 01:32:26,411
You really look good.
1409
01:32:28,830 --> 01:32:29,915
Oh, God.
1410
01:32:59,695 --> 01:33:01,154
Oh, my God.
1411
01:33:01,530 --> 01:33:03,532
I kind of shanked that.
1412
01:33:05,867 --> 01:33:06,827
Come on!
1413
01:33:07,035 --> 01:33:08,203
Shit.
1414
01:33:08,954 --> 01:33:10,205
God.
1415
01:33:10,956 --> 01:33:12,958
Shit, man.
1416
01:33:13,333 --> 01:33:15,043
Tempo's everything.
1417
01:33:18,171 --> 01:33:19,297
Perfection is...
1418
01:33:19,464 --> 01:33:20,966
...unattainable.
1419
01:33:23,343 --> 01:33:25,303
You know, someone said...
1420
01:33:25,470 --> 01:33:29,725
...golf and sex are the only things
you don't have to be good at to enjoy.
1421
01:33:32,978 --> 01:33:34,354
Can I have a Mulligan?
1422
01:33:34,479 --> 01:33:36,356
- A what?
- Mulligan.
1423
01:33:36,481 --> 01:33:37,899
What's a Mulligan?
1424
01:33:39,735 --> 01:33:41,403
Just hold still...
1425
01:33:41,570 --> 01:33:42,821
...don't move...
1426
01:33:42,988 --> 01:33:44,489
...and I'll show you.
1427
01:33:44,865 --> 01:33:47,993
In fact, wait a minute,
get on top. I'll show you.
1428
01:33:48,201 --> 01:33:49,411
I'll tee it up.
1429
01:33:50,871 --> 01:33:52,831
Come on, Roy.
1430
01:34:13,226 --> 01:34:15,687
Welcome everyone,
Jim Nantz with Ken Venturi.
1431
01:34:15,896 --> 01:34:17,731
The sun's struggling to appear.
1432
01:34:17,898 --> 01:34:20,525
The course is drying up.
In case you're just joining us...
1433
01:34:20,734 --> 01:34:25,113
...David Simms is tied for the lead
at 5 under par with Peter Jacobsen.
1434
01:34:25,280 --> 01:34:29,368
But the real story today
involves a driving range pro...
1435
01:34:29,618 --> 01:34:32,788
...who shot an opening
round 83 yesterday...
1436
01:34:33,121 --> 01:34:35,791
...but is now making U.S. Open history.
1437
01:34:35,957 --> 01:34:39,795
The single round record in Open history
is in jeopardy because of McAvoy.
1438
01:34:39,878 --> 01:34:43,757
Another driving range pro,
it's all we needed.
1439
01:34:43,924 --> 01:34:47,761
It's heroes that I need.
Not obscure driving range pros.
1440
01:34:47,928 --> 01:34:49,888
Okay, Ben, back at 16.
1441
01:34:51,264 --> 01:34:55,644
This putt he's studied from every
angle and I'm sure he knows...
1442
01:34:55,811 --> 01:34:58,897
...it's got to be firm on the
left-hand edge with this putt.
1443
01:34:59,064 --> 01:35:02,651
Get thumbnails on these guys.
I don't know where he's from...
1444
01:35:02,818 --> 01:35:06,279
...but here he is, going
ten under, if he makes it.
1445
01:35:09,324 --> 01:35:11,576
Look at that. Smooth as silk.
1446
01:35:11,785 --> 01:35:13,245
He's made it!
1447
01:35:13,662 --> 01:35:16,456
10 under par for McAvoy!
1448
01:35:16,790 --> 01:35:18,417
Man alive!
1449
01:35:18,583 --> 01:35:22,087
This is the stuff
of legend, I would say.
1450
01:35:25,298 --> 01:35:26,675
Who is McAvoy?
1451
01:35:27,843 --> 01:35:30,095
You ever hear of this McAvoy guy?
1452
01:35:30,512 --> 01:35:34,683
Roy McAvoy, after a par at 17.
An eagle to shoot 60...
1453
01:35:35,183 --> 01:35:38,520
...although no one has knocked it
onto the green in 2 here today.
1454
01:35:38,687 --> 01:35:40,689
It's not a shot you want
to be aggressive with.
1455
01:35:40,814 --> 01:35:42,774
You gotta be conservative,
you gotta think to shot out.
1456
01:35:42,858 --> 01:35:43,817
He's in great position.
1457
01:35:44,192 --> 01:35:46,194
It's a 3 shot par 5.
1458
01:35:46,361 --> 01:35:49,114
Especially today, a
little wind in the face.
1459
01:35:49,323 --> 01:35:52,617
John Daly ended up in the water
going for this green in two.
1460
01:35:52,826 --> 01:35:55,287
237, man, to carry that water.
1461
01:36:00,042 --> 01:36:01,543
237, man.
1462
01:36:09,384 --> 01:36:10,635
3- wood.
1463
01:36:18,226 --> 01:36:19,061
Hit hard.
1464
01:36:19,227 --> 01:36:23,398
Jimmy, if he lays up, he
takes the bogey out of play.
1465
01:36:23,565 --> 01:36:26,735
He goes for the green,
he brings 6 in, he brings 7 in.
1466
01:36:26,902 --> 01:36:28,987
He must remember he's in contention.
1467
01:36:29,279 --> 01:36:31,865
He has a chance to win.
He must play smart.
1468
01:36:43,752 --> 01:36:45,587
He didn't have enough club.
1469
01:36:47,047 --> 01:36:48,507
Well, what the hell?
1470
01:36:48,674 --> 01:36:50,759
You ride her until she bucks you...
1471
01:36:51,093 --> 01:36:52,594
...or don't ride at all.
1472
01:36:52,761 --> 01:36:55,681
If he can still knock a
wedge close and make par...
1473
01:36:56,056 --> 01:37:00,268
...it'd be one of the most
remarkable turn-arounds in history.
1474
01:37:00,435 --> 01:37:04,439
He's got 85 yards from here and the
drop zone is short of the water.
1475
01:37:04,606 --> 01:37:08,777
He'll need to get it on the upper
level of the multi-terraced green.
1476
01:37:13,448 --> 01:37:18,412
That's a good solid shot leaving
him about 12 feet away for par.
1477
01:37:18,578 --> 01:37:20,414
A par and 62...
1478
01:37:20,622 --> 01:37:23,583
...the all-time Open round record.
1479
01:37:35,429 --> 01:37:36,304
Good stroke.
1480
01:37:36,471 --> 01:37:37,431
He's got it.
1481
01:37:37,931 --> 01:37:38,890
Unbelievable.
1482
01:37:39,099 --> 01:37:41,059
McAvoy has done it.
1483
01:37:41,309 --> 01:37:45,313
You just saw the greatest round
in U.S. Open history.
1484
01:37:45,480 --> 01:37:47,065
62.
1485
01:37:47,941 --> 01:37:52,487
The all-time lowest round in a major
doesn't belong to a Jack Nicklaus...
1486
01:37:52,738 --> 01:37:54,614
...or an Arnold Palmer...
1487
01:37:54,740 --> 01:37:56,325
...Hogan or Sneed.
1488
01:37:56,491 --> 01:37:59,161
It's been shot by the
most improbable artist.
1489
01:37:59,328 --> 01:38:01,621
Roy McAvoy has his signature...
1490
01:38:01,747 --> 01:38:04,458
...on golf's all-time
masterpiece round.
1491
01:38:12,174 --> 01:38:16,970
I've got money from the bet.
Let's go somewhere fancy and celebrate.
1492
01:38:17,262 --> 01:38:20,974
There's nothing to celebrate.
Besides, these are my people.
1493
01:38:21,767 --> 01:38:25,354
I'm a Waffle House guy.
Got to stay in touch with that.
1494
01:38:25,645 --> 01:38:27,522
Plus, he needs his carbohydrates.
1495
01:38:27,689 --> 01:38:31,485
Plus, if the boys in Salome
were in town, they'd come here.
1496
01:38:33,195 --> 01:38:34,279
The legend!
1497
01:38:34,529 --> 01:38:36,865
We've been on a bus 2 days.
1498
01:38:40,369 --> 01:38:41,620
It's so good to see you.
1499
01:38:42,204 --> 01:38:43,997
Sweet 62!
1500
01:38:44,498 --> 01:38:46,375
Put the tables together.
1501
01:38:49,670 --> 01:38:51,296
Does this feel like home?
1502
01:38:51,546 --> 01:38:54,549
We just want you to know we
are with you all the way.
1503
01:38:54,716 --> 01:38:57,010
Doreen, meet Dr. Griswold.
1504
01:38:57,803 --> 01:38:59,012
This is Molly.
1505
01:39:00,180 --> 01:39:01,014
She's my shrink.
1506
01:39:01,515 --> 01:39:03,225
Well, ex-shrink.
1507
01:39:03,392 --> 01:39:05,894
We're sleeping together, so I can't be.
1508
01:39:06,520 --> 01:39:07,896
Knew it. Thanks.
1509
01:39:08,063 --> 01:39:09,231
Knew what?
1510
01:39:09,398 --> 01:39:10,482
Nothing.
1511
01:39:10,691 --> 01:39:11,650
Good luck.
1512
01:39:12,401 --> 01:39:15,570
You know what? I've got
a little extra cash...
1513
01:39:15,737 --> 01:39:19,199
...why don't we go somewhere
a little fancy and celebrate?
1514
01:39:19,324 --> 01:39:20,200
Why?
1515
01:39:20,826 --> 01:39:22,077
In honor of...
1516
01:39:22,244 --> 01:39:23,203
It's the Waffle House.
1517
01:39:23,328 --> 01:39:24,579
I know.
1518
01:39:24,746 --> 01:39:28,208
I've been dreaming about
waffles for 1,800 miles.
1519
01:39:28,333 --> 01:39:29,710
Me too.
1520
01:39:29,835 --> 01:39:32,838
There's a Waffle House like
this in Odessa, Texas.
1521
01:39:33,839 --> 01:39:34,715
No, Midlands.
1522
01:39:34,840 --> 01:39:36,091
It's in Odessa.
1523
01:39:36,258 --> 01:39:39,594
It's in Odessa. I'm from Odessa.
I was born there.
1524
01:39:39,761 --> 01:39:41,221
That's where it is.
1525
01:39:41,346 --> 01:39:42,556
The man.
1526
01:39:42,723 --> 01:39:43,765
To the Cup!
1527
01:39:43,932 --> 01:39:44,766
Cup Man!
1528
01:39:44,933 --> 01:39:46,351
You didn't have to do that.
1529
01:39:47,602 --> 01:39:49,563
You look lovely tonight.
1530
01:39:50,105 --> 01:39:51,440
Thank you.
1531
01:39:53,108 --> 01:39:56,111
I don't know if anyone told you,
but you're a great dancer.
1532
01:39:57,237 --> 01:39:58,363
Really?
1533
01:39:58,947 --> 01:40:02,284
But they had one there.
That's all I'm saying.
1534
01:40:02,451 --> 01:40:04,077
It was Odessa.
1535
01:40:04,244 --> 01:40:07,080
That's not what I was talking about,
you know where we stopped.
1536
01:40:07,247 --> 01:40:09,374
There's an easy way to figure this out.
1537
01:40:09,583 --> 01:40:11,043
You ever tango?
1538
01:40:12,753 --> 01:40:14,212
No.
1539
01:40:14,963 --> 01:40:16,131
Do you?
1540
01:40:19,593 --> 01:40:21,553
Romeo, you dance?
1541
01:40:22,387 --> 01:40:24,139
It doesn't matter!
1542
01:40:25,265 --> 01:40:27,392
It doesn't get much better than this.
1543
01:40:31,897 --> 01:40:36,777
This extraordinary Roy McAvoy,
he just won't go away.
1544
01:40:36,943 --> 01:40:41,156
This humble pro from Salome,
wherever that is.
1545
01:40:41,323 --> 01:40:43,909
- Little town, west Texas.
- It hasn't been discovered yet.
1546
01:40:44,117 --> 01:40:46,078
Over to 18, guys, quickly.
1547
01:40:46,286 --> 01:40:48,163
John Cook at the par 518th.
1548
01:40:48,330 --> 01:40:52,501
No stranger to championship play.
And he's going to lay up.
1549
01:40:53,835 --> 01:40:56,338
Meanwhile, here's Roy McAvoy.
1550
01:40:56,505 --> 01:40:59,299
He has the same shot he knocked
in the water yesterday.
1551
01:40:59,424 --> 01:41:02,302
The thing to do is tune out the
gallery saying "go for it. "
1552
01:41:02,427 --> 01:41:05,847
He's back in contention, but he
must continue to play smart.
1553
01:41:06,139 --> 01:41:07,516
Give me a 3-wood.
1554
01:41:12,521 --> 01:41:16,817
He's pulled the 3-wood and he continues
to play without an ounce of fear.
1555
01:41:16,942 --> 01:41:18,985
That is just inexperience,
just pure and simple.
1556
01:41:19,444 --> 01:41:22,823
This is for Venturi up in the
booth thinking I should lay up.
1557
01:41:23,323 --> 01:41:27,285
What does he know? He only won this
tournament before you were born.
1558
01:41:32,958 --> 01:41:37,879
Caught it a little bit high, a breeze
in his face. That's got to go.
1559
01:41:38,547 --> 01:41:41,299
- He's done it again.
- No, not again.
1560
01:41:41,550 --> 01:41:44,678
He has found the water for
the third straight day.
1561
01:41:44,845 --> 01:41:46,555
What was he thinking about?
1562
01:41:46,722 --> 01:41:48,181
Give me another ball.
1563
01:41:50,475 --> 01:41:51,184
What?
1564
01:41:51,393 --> 01:41:52,728
It's a water hazard.
1565
01:41:53,061 --> 01:41:57,065
You go up there and take a drop.
Try to save par, like yesterday.
1566
01:41:57,899 --> 01:41:59,067
You're right.
1567
01:41:59,860 --> 01:42:01,570
What the hell was I thinking?
1568
01:42:02,404 --> 01:42:03,739
He's tied for the lead...
1569
01:42:03,905 --> 01:42:06,700
...this Roy McAvoy, this "Tin Cup"
this empty cup...
1570
01:42:06,867 --> 01:42:08,827
...this air-brain out of nowhere.
1571
01:42:08,994 --> 01:42:10,245
West Texas.
1572
01:42:10,412 --> 01:42:12,414
Thank you for West Texas.
1573
01:42:12,581 --> 01:42:17,085
You went for the green on 18 today.
Do you think that cost you?
1574
01:42:17,252 --> 01:42:19,087
I saved par, didn't I?
1575
01:42:20,005 --> 01:42:21,048
Didn't I?
1576
01:42:21,089 --> 01:42:25,469
You had the same shot yesterday
on 18 without a headwind.
1577
01:42:25,552 --> 01:42:27,179
You don't think I can?
1578
01:42:27,262 --> 01:42:28,221
It's unlikely.
1579
01:42:29,431 --> 01:42:31,892
So am I. Look at me, all right?
1580
01:42:31,975 --> 01:42:35,854
Look what I'm wearing. I'm playing
for Rio Grande Short-Haul Trucking.
1581
01:42:35,937 --> 01:42:37,856
Brink's and Brown's Sanitation.
1582
01:42:39,274 --> 01:42:43,362
First State Bank of Salome.
Woody's Smokehouse.
1583
01:42:44,446 --> 01:42:48,200
You think a guy like me bothers
to worry about the percentages?
1584
01:43:09,971 --> 01:43:12,891
Are you nervous about tomorrow, Roy?
1585
01:43:19,981 --> 01:43:22,401
It won't always be like this, you know.
1586
01:43:22,651 --> 01:43:23,819
What?
1587
01:43:25,070 --> 01:43:27,906
With me, surrounded by
all these guys snoring.
1588
01:43:28,073 --> 01:43:31,284
Stripper ex-girlfriend
laying across from us.
1589
01:43:33,328 --> 01:43:35,789
My caddie sleeping next to her.
1590
01:43:37,249 --> 01:43:39,584
It won't always be like this.
1591
01:43:40,002 --> 01:43:41,962
Yes, it will, Roy.
1592
01:43:42,671 --> 01:43:44,089
It will.
1593
01:44:09,364 --> 01:44:10,782
Dollar bills.
1594
01:44:18,415 --> 01:44:19,833
Dollar bills.
1595
01:44:27,507 --> 01:44:29,009
Dollar bills.
1596
01:44:41,730 --> 01:44:45,484
First up in the final pairing,
from Salome, Texas...
1597
01:44:45,650 --> 01:44:47,819
...Roy McAvoy.
1598
01:44:48,403 --> 01:44:51,198
Fairways and greens, and
don't forget to wave...
1599
01:44:51,406 --> 01:44:52,491
...as I blow by.
1600
01:44:52,824 --> 01:44:55,869
You mean blow up, don't you,
sport? You always do.
1601
01:45:27,943 --> 01:45:31,905
Playing out of Houston, Texas...
... David Simms.
1602
01:45:36,702 --> 01:45:40,539
It's okay, exactly where you are.
You're in great shape.
1603
01:45:58,306 --> 01:45:59,641
How's the lie?
1604
01:45:59,808 --> 01:46:01,810
Shit, it's buried.
1605
01:46:03,812 --> 01:46:05,230
Don't touch it.
1606
01:46:05,439 --> 01:46:06,773
I know the rules.
1607
01:46:11,194 --> 01:46:12,571
What'll you do?
1608
01:46:12,738 --> 01:46:14,114
Go right through there.
1609
01:46:14,406 --> 01:46:15,198
Go for it.
1610
01:46:19,619 --> 01:46:21,538
- Oh, God!
- Don't worry about it.
1611
01:46:21,663 --> 01:46:25,125
It was my fault. I gave you
the wrong club. You'll be fine.
1612
01:46:25,334 --> 01:46:28,253
Don't worry. You did fine.
Give me the club.
1613
01:46:28,670 --> 01:46:32,632
We've just heard Roy McAvoy has
taken a disastrous double-bogey...
1614
01:46:32,841 --> 01:46:34,801
...to open his final round here.
1615
01:46:35,010 --> 01:46:36,470
Trouble back there.
1616
01:46:37,596 --> 01:46:39,306
Just keep making pars.
1617
01:46:39,514 --> 01:46:41,933
I'll take 18 of them, all day.
1618
01:46:42,059 --> 01:46:44,019
Do it, and I'll own you.
1619
01:47:12,339 --> 01:47:13,340
Fore!
1620
01:47:18,345 --> 01:47:20,472
Roy McAvoy's second shot...
1621
01:47:20,639 --> 01:47:24,184
...at the second hole has
gone deep into the woods.
1622
01:47:24,351 --> 01:47:27,270
For a report on his plight,
let's go to Gary McCord...
1623
01:47:27,896 --> 01:47:32,025
...who has spent most of his life
in the woods and in darkness.
1624
01:47:32,192 --> 01:47:34,069
He's in jail here.
1625
01:47:34,194 --> 01:47:35,487
No chance for parole.
1626
01:47:35,654 --> 01:47:40,283
He's got to hit the ball back in the
fairway, pitch the ball on the green...
1627
01:47:40,492 --> 01:47:41,827
...and get up and down for par.
1628
01:47:41,994 --> 01:47:43,829
No chance to hit it on the green.
1629
01:47:45,205 --> 01:47:47,207
$50 says I knock it on with a 7-iron.
1630
01:47:47,666 --> 01:47:48,834
On the green?
1631
01:47:49,001 --> 01:47:49,668
Right.
1632
01:47:50,085 --> 01:47:51,128
You got it.
1633
01:47:51,837 --> 01:47:54,756
Move these people back right here.
I'm going right there.
1634
01:47:58,301 --> 01:47:59,678
What's he got?
1635
01:47:59,928 --> 01:48:00,887
What's he doing?
1636
01:48:02,389 --> 01:48:06,226
He's going to try to ricochet off
the toilet with a hooded 7-iron.
1637
01:48:06,601 --> 01:48:08,311
He's hitting off the shitter.
1638
01:48:08,520 --> 01:48:10,772
I can't believe he's doing this.
1639
01:48:10,939 --> 01:48:12,524
DVT 1, record.
1640
01:48:12,691 --> 01:48:13,775
Record this.
1641
01:48:24,036 --> 01:48:28,707
Roy McAvoy has banked his third
shot at the second hole...
1642
01:48:28,874 --> 01:48:33,795
...between the trees, off a water closet,
or loo, as you might call it...
1643
01:48:33,962 --> 01:48:36,715
...and got it on the green,
somehow, in three.
1644
01:48:36,965 --> 01:48:40,344
May be the shot that gets
him back on track here.
1645
01:48:40,552 --> 01:48:42,554
It could erase that double-bogey.
1646
01:48:42,721 --> 01:48:44,639
Best thing that ever happened to him.
1647
01:49:14,503 --> 01:49:16,505
Oh, that was great.
1648
01:49:16,713 --> 01:49:20,509
I didn't know there was a mirror
in here. Isn't that cute?
1649
01:49:32,187 --> 01:49:34,189
Let me just look at my...
1650
01:50:19,026 --> 01:50:22,070
Looks level. Roll it in like
you know what you're doing.
1651
01:50:25,032 --> 01:50:26,700
Hit it close, sport.
1652
01:51:03,278 --> 01:51:05,530
How did he get the name Tin Cup?
1653
01:51:05,781 --> 01:51:08,867
He was the catcher on the
high school baseball team.
1654
01:51:09,034 --> 01:51:11,036
Star pitcher had a curve.
1655
01:51:11,203 --> 01:51:13,413
Not all his pitches hit Roy in the mitt.
1656
01:51:14,498 --> 01:51:18,418
Team thought "Tin Cup" was a
whole lot better than "Clank. "
1657
01:51:26,343 --> 01:51:27,594
Fuck.
1658
01:51:29,805 --> 01:51:30,889
Too bad.
1659
01:51:47,906 --> 01:51:50,242
Can I ask you a question?
1660
01:51:51,326 --> 01:51:53,537
Have you ever had a Latin lover?
1661
01:51:53,912 --> 01:51:57,457
Where does he get his name
from is what I want to know.
1662
01:51:59,835 --> 01:52:04,006
Why did you wait so long to
leave that Simms character?
1663
01:52:04,172 --> 01:52:09,094
It takes time to realize Prince Charming
might be wearing a beer-stained shirt...
1664
01:52:09,261 --> 01:52:10,804
...eating sausage...
1665
01:52:11,013 --> 01:52:14,766
...making $7 an hour
in some driving range.
1666
01:52:14,933 --> 01:52:19,855
You don't try to fix men, I hope.
Men cannot be fixed, especially him.
1667
01:52:20,105 --> 01:52:23,025
I've been pathetically
slow learning that lesson.
1668
01:52:23,650 --> 01:52:25,152
- How are you?
- How are you?
1669
01:52:25,360 --> 01:52:26,194
Good.
1670
01:52:26,361 --> 01:52:27,654
I could use help.
1671
01:52:27,863 --> 01:52:31,658
I've seen what you've done with McAvoy.
It could come in handy.
1672
01:52:31,867 --> 01:52:33,952
Let me give you my card.
1673
01:52:34,119 --> 01:52:35,162
Great.
1674
01:52:35,412 --> 01:52:39,541
If you have more of these, a bunch of
the other guys could use your help.
1675
01:52:39,750 --> 01:52:41,043
Take them all.
1676
01:52:41,251 --> 01:52:43,337
- This is Doreen.
- Hi, how are you?
1677
01:52:43,462 --> 01:52:45,714
My number's there, call any time.
1678
01:52:45,922 --> 01:52:48,550
I counsel couples, so bring
your caddie if you want.
1679
01:52:48,759 --> 01:52:50,552
I'll think about it,
and I'll give you a call.
1680
01:52:50,761 --> 01:52:51,470
Thanks.
1681
01:52:51,636 --> 01:52:53,388
Bye, nice meeting you.
1682
01:52:54,014 --> 01:52:54,723
Cheers.
1683
01:52:54,931 --> 01:52:55,891
Cheers.
1684
01:53:21,041 --> 01:53:24,044
That puts Jacobsen
into a tie at 7, guys.
1685
01:53:24,211 --> 01:53:28,090
That Tin Cup guy is one shot back.
Let's keep abreast of that.
1686
01:53:28,674 --> 01:53:31,593
That birdie by Peter
Jacobsen forged a tie...
1687
01:53:31,843 --> 01:53:34,012
...at 7 under with David Simms.
1688
01:53:34,179 --> 01:53:37,015
And Roy McAvoy
just won't go away.
1689
01:53:37,182 --> 01:53:39,935
He's only one shot back at 6 under par.
1690
01:53:56,451 --> 01:54:00,580
He's throwing darts. If we don't make
birdies, we're playing for second.
1691
01:54:00,872 --> 01:54:03,125
Can you believe McAvoy's still here?
1692
01:54:03,291 --> 01:54:06,378
I can't believe "Tin Cup" might
appear with my name on a trophy.
1693
01:54:06,503 --> 01:54:10,048
It's come down to the 72nd
hole of this championship...
1694
01:54:10,215 --> 01:54:14,136
...and 3 men all battling to be
crowned the Open champion.
1695
01:54:14,302 --> 01:54:16,138
Jacobsen's on the fairway...
1696
01:54:16,304 --> 01:54:17,681
...at 8 under par...
1697
01:54:17,889 --> 01:54:21,393
...tied for the lead with Roy
McAvoy, who's on the 18th tee.
1698
01:54:21,518 --> 01:54:24,688
And David Simms is back
there trailing by one.
1699
01:54:41,330 --> 01:54:43,415
- Jacobsen's laying up.
- Took out an iron.
1700
01:54:43,540 --> 01:54:47,919
Jacobsen's going to lay up.
He's tied for the lead.
1701
01:54:48,086 --> 01:54:50,088
Assures himself of a par...
1702
01:54:50,255 --> 01:54:51,340
...and with his short game...
1703
01:54:51,506 --> 01:54:52,799
...he could make birdie.
1704
01:54:54,009 --> 01:54:56,011
You ain't going to have that luxury.
1705
01:54:58,180 --> 01:54:59,931
Not if you play to win.
1706
01:55:26,208 --> 01:55:28,293
We've seen this position before.
1707
01:55:28,460 --> 01:55:31,546
McAvoy with another
perfect drive at the 18th.
1708
01:55:31,672 --> 01:55:35,759
The last thing he needs right now
is an excuse to go for the green.
1709
01:55:36,051 --> 01:55:37,302
I didn't catch it all.
1710
01:55:37,469 --> 01:55:40,555
Well, that's okay.
You'll have to lay up then.
1711
01:56:16,091 --> 01:56:17,634
This is for par.
1712
01:56:20,804 --> 01:56:22,597
So, birdie wins it.
1713
01:56:23,515 --> 01:56:24,891
That's par.
1714
01:56:26,268 --> 01:56:27,602
He's in the lead.
1715
01:56:29,104 --> 01:56:30,731
They all must catch him.
1716
01:56:30,897 --> 01:56:32,190
You or me, Dave?
1717
01:56:44,661 --> 01:56:46,121
He's laying up.
1718
01:56:47,122 --> 01:56:48,540
He's laying up.
1719
01:56:50,125 --> 01:56:54,629
Birdie to tie, eagle to win.
Gutless wonder's laying up.
1720
01:56:54,755 --> 01:56:58,550
It's birdie to win and par
to tie for you. Lay up.
1721
01:56:59,718 --> 01:57:02,429
You can still make a birdie laying up.
1722
01:57:03,138 --> 01:57:04,639
You know what?
1723
01:57:04,765 --> 01:57:07,476
If I make an eagle that puts me 10 under.
1724
01:57:07,642 --> 01:57:10,771
No one's ever finished an Open
10 under, not even Nicklaus.
1725
01:57:11,396 --> 01:57:15,651
You don't need an eagle to win.
Birdie wins, par ties.
1726
01:57:15,776 --> 01:57:16,943
Lay it up.
1727
01:57:19,696 --> 01:57:23,867
Birdie wins, parties. Hole out
a wedge for a goddamn eagle?!
1728
01:57:26,078 --> 01:57:27,579
This is everything.
1729
01:57:27,871 --> 01:57:31,667
This is the choice it comes down
to, this is our immortality.
1730
01:57:31,792 --> 01:57:35,879
Don't think about immortality,
think "hit the 7-iron. "
1731
01:57:39,841 --> 01:57:44,680
No, no, no. This is what always
happens. He's going for it.
1732
01:57:44,846 --> 01:57:45,847
Go for it!
1733
01:57:49,267 --> 01:57:50,852
Molly, get a grip.
1734
01:57:51,353 --> 01:57:54,856
He only needs par to tie.
Tell him to lay up.
1735
01:57:55,023 --> 01:57:57,526
Go for it, Roy! Just knock it on!
1736
01:57:58,443 --> 01:58:02,197
This is why we broke up.
He always went for it.
1737
01:58:02,364 --> 01:58:06,535
My problem is, I've never been
with a man who went for it.
1738
01:58:06,702 --> 01:58:09,037
Honey, he's your guy.
1739
01:58:11,289 --> 01:58:12,958
One swing, Roy.
1740
01:58:13,542 --> 01:58:15,627
One good swing.
1741
01:58:18,296 --> 01:58:20,966
John Daly couldn't do it.
What's he doing?
1742
01:58:21,133 --> 01:58:23,969
Unbelievable he's going
for it 4 days in a row.
1743
01:58:24,136 --> 01:58:26,138
No, 3 days he's put it in the water.
1744
01:58:26,304 --> 01:58:28,807
It'll be 4 days if he hits his 3-wood.
1745
01:58:31,143 --> 01:58:32,728
Come on, baby.
1746
01:58:32,978 --> 01:58:34,312
We're home.
1747
01:58:35,480 --> 01:58:36,982
This has a chance.
1748
01:58:37,149 --> 01:58:38,317
It's got to go.
1749
01:58:38,483 --> 01:58:40,902
This has a chance.
I think he's done it.
1750
01:58:43,822 --> 01:58:44,990
Little gust there.
1751
01:58:56,418 --> 01:58:57,502
Stay up!
1752
01:58:57,753 --> 01:58:58,920
Stay up!
1753
01:58:59,921 --> 01:59:01,089
Stay up!
1754
01:59:18,106 --> 01:59:20,275
You can still make par from there.
1755
01:59:20,442 --> 01:59:21,276
Right.
1756
01:59:21,693 --> 01:59:24,112
Take a drop, we'll make par, we'll tie.
1757
01:59:24,279 --> 01:59:27,532
I nutted that thing.
I mean, I nutted it.
1758
01:59:27,866 --> 01:59:30,285
I know. You put a hell of a move on it.
1759
01:59:30,452 --> 01:59:32,704
Little gust from the gods cost me.
1760
01:59:32,871 --> 01:59:34,790
We'll take our drop, tie...
1761
01:59:34,956 --> 01:59:36,208
...and win the playoff.
1762
01:59:36,375 --> 01:59:38,460
- I can make that shot!
- I know!
1763
01:59:38,627 --> 01:59:40,128
- But not now!
- Now!
1764
01:59:40,879 --> 01:59:43,465
I'm playing it from right here, now.
1765
01:59:44,966 --> 01:59:46,301
Make your par.
1766
01:59:47,135 --> 01:59:47,803
Now.
1767
01:59:48,303 --> 01:59:49,554
Take your drop.
1768
01:59:50,055 --> 01:59:51,139
Give me a ball.
1769
01:59:51,306 --> 01:59:52,974
Unbelievable.
1770
01:59:55,477 --> 01:59:57,479
I can't watch this.
1771
02:00:04,069 --> 02:00:05,153
Fourth shot.
1772
02:00:05,904 --> 02:00:10,325
I don't believe this. He could go
up, use the drop zone, make par...
1773
02:00:10,492 --> 02:00:13,745
...force a playoff with
Jacobsen and get out of here.
1774
02:00:13,912 --> 02:00:17,249
Easy, guys. He can still make 5.
He can still make 5.
1775
02:00:17,416 --> 02:00:19,501
We could still have a playoff.
1776
02:00:41,106 --> 02:00:42,190
Give me a ball.
1777
02:00:42,858 --> 02:00:43,859
Take a drop.
1778
02:00:44,860 --> 02:00:46,278
Give me a ball!
1779
02:00:47,112 --> 02:00:48,447
Just take your drop.
1780
02:00:55,537 --> 02:00:57,789
Dropping 5, hitting 6.
1781
02:00:57,956 --> 02:01:02,210
What's he doing? All he'd have to
do is walk up there and take a drop.
1782
02:01:02,377 --> 02:01:04,796
Make a 5, for crying out loud.
That's insane.
1783
02:01:05,297 --> 02:01:07,049
Somebody tackle him.
1784
02:01:09,468 --> 02:01:10,719
Give me a ball.
1785
02:01:23,065 --> 02:01:24,232
Dropping 7...
1786
02:01:24,399 --> 02:01:26,318
...hitting his 8th shot.
1787
02:01:32,074 --> 02:01:34,743
It's a miracle he lasted this long.
1788
02:01:42,668 --> 02:01:44,836
We ought to have
a camera on Simms.
1789
02:01:45,003 --> 02:01:46,588
He can't watch.
1790
02:01:46,755 --> 02:01:49,591
Someone tell him he doesn't
have to hit it from there.
1791
02:01:51,510 --> 02:01:54,096
He's dropping 9. He's hitting 10.
1792
02:02:07,192 --> 02:02:09,361
God, I'm going to faint.
1793
02:02:10,946 --> 02:02:12,114
Oh, Jesus.
1794
02:02:19,287 --> 02:02:23,458
This is the last ball in the bag.
This gets wet, we're disqualified.
1795
02:02:23,709 --> 02:02:25,460
I can make it across.
1796
02:02:25,627 --> 02:02:26,712
Then do it.
1797
02:02:26,878 --> 02:02:28,463
Quit fucking around.
1798
02:02:38,890 --> 02:02:40,142
He's crazy.
1799
02:02:41,560 --> 02:02:43,562
Oh, God. He's right.
1800
02:02:43,729 --> 02:02:46,898
You're right, Roy!
Just knock it on! Let her rip!
1801
02:02:47,065 --> 02:02:49,568
- You're losing it.
- I have lost it.
1802
02:02:50,235 --> 02:02:51,320
But so has he.
1803
02:02:54,489 --> 02:02:56,408
- He's crazy.
- So are you.
1804
02:02:56,658 --> 02:02:58,076
This is a 12.
1805
02:02:58,243 --> 02:03:01,997
He must start worrying about
qualifying for next year's Open.
1806
02:03:02,164 --> 02:03:03,415
He lost this one.
1807
02:03:03,582 --> 02:03:05,167
He'll end up selling...
1808
02:03:05,334 --> 02:03:08,837
...ties and renting golf
carts the rest of his life.
1809
02:03:09,004 --> 02:03:13,258
I don't know what I'm feeling. This is
the most painful thing I've ever seen.
1810
02:03:13,592 --> 02:03:17,512
He doesn't finish the
hole with this ball...
1811
02:03:17,679 --> 02:03:19,264
...he's disqualified.
1812
02:03:19,431 --> 02:03:22,434
Oh, my God. Dear Lord, please.
Dear Lord.
1813
02:03:46,375 --> 02:03:47,125
Get over.
1814
02:03:53,632 --> 02:03:54,466
He's over.
1815
02:04:22,494 --> 02:04:24,287
I can't believe it!
1816
02:04:26,873 --> 02:04:28,542
I love you!
1817
02:04:30,669 --> 02:04:32,129
My God!
1818
02:04:47,394 --> 02:04:49,563
- Unbelievable!
- Jesus Christ!
1819
02:04:49,730 --> 02:04:51,481
Did you see this?
1820
02:04:52,858 --> 02:04:55,402
That was a 12. That was a 12.
1821
02:04:55,694 --> 02:04:57,988
He was on the green
and in and out in 12.
1822
02:06:02,177 --> 02:06:04,262
Boss, you blew that one.
1823
02:06:04,429 --> 02:06:08,183
- I didn't come here to play for second.
- Simms'll always be second.
1824
02:06:13,021 --> 02:06:16,942
I'll meet you at the Winnebago!
I'll fire up the blender!
1825
02:06:20,529 --> 02:06:22,614
I just gave away the U.S. Open.
1826
02:06:28,370 --> 02:06:32,374
That was incredible! That was
the shot of the tournament!
1827
02:06:32,958 --> 02:06:35,293
I just gave away the U.S. Open.
1828
02:06:35,460 --> 02:06:36,795
It doesn't matter.
1829
02:06:37,629 --> 02:06:41,550
One time in my life I know the
safe play to hit and I still...
1830
02:06:41,717 --> 02:06:43,719
Shit, I still can't make myself do it.
1831
02:06:43,885 --> 02:06:44,803
It doesn't matter.
1832
02:06:44,970 --> 02:06:47,973
My whole career, my whole
life on the line...
1833
02:06:48,140 --> 02:06:50,642
I just made a 12 on the
last hole of the Open!
1834
02:06:50,809 --> 02:06:54,146
You sure did. It was the
greatest 12 of all time.
1835
02:06:54,313 --> 02:06:57,733
No one's going to remember the
Open 5 years from now, who won...
1836
02:06:57,899 --> 02:06:59,735
...but they'll remember your 12!
1837
02:06:59,901 --> 02:07:03,322
My, God, Roy, it was...
Well, it's immortal!
1838
02:07:03,488 --> 02:07:05,490
I am so proud of you!
1839
02:07:09,828 --> 02:07:11,830
I gotta hand it to you.
1840
02:07:11,997 --> 02:07:15,083
When you go down,
you go down in flames.
1841
02:07:16,418 --> 02:07:17,753
Never mind.
1842
02:07:18,337 --> 02:07:19,421
Kiss me.
1843
02:07:20,756 --> 02:07:23,258
- David, you got a minute?
- Not right now.
1844
02:07:24,760 --> 02:07:26,345
Can I have your autograph?
1845
02:07:26,511 --> 02:07:29,431
Sure, I always got time
for my fans, darling.
1846
02:07:29,598 --> 02:07:32,100
Don't you look cute. Come on under.
1847
02:07:39,274 --> 02:07:41,109
Nice par, David.
1848
02:08:27,489 --> 02:08:32,327
By finishing in the top 15 at the Open
you qualified to be in it next year.
1849
02:08:33,161 --> 02:08:34,246
Really?
1850
02:08:35,914 --> 02:08:37,833
I didn't know that.
1851
02:08:38,000 --> 02:08:42,587
With your game you could go back to the
qualifying school and go out on tour.
1852
02:08:45,007 --> 02:08:46,425
Then I wouldn't see you.
1853
02:08:47,342 --> 02:08:51,680
Actually, I picked up a whole
bunch of new clients at the Open.
1854
02:08:51,847 --> 02:08:55,767
Guys said if I could do that for you,
imagine what I could do for them.
1855
02:08:57,686 --> 02:09:00,188
There's a lot of head cases out there.
1856
02:09:01,523 --> 02:09:03,775
A man goes through what I have...
1857
02:09:03,942 --> 02:09:05,444
...he's supposed to learn something.
1858
02:09:05,610 --> 02:09:07,696
I'm trying to figure out what I learned.
1859
02:09:10,115 --> 02:09:12,034
You think I learned anything?
1860
02:09:12,951 --> 02:09:16,038
You learned a little discipline,
some self-control.
1861
02:09:16,204 --> 02:09:17,789
I learned...
1862
02:09:17,956 --> 02:09:21,960
...you can't just listen to your
heart, but also to your brain.
1863
02:09:22,127 --> 02:09:24,880
I'm learning how to listen
to that tuning fork...
1864
02:09:25,047 --> 02:09:27,215
...throw caution to the wind and...
1865
02:09:27,382 --> 02:09:30,719
...take crazy risks I never
thought were possible.
1866
02:09:31,053 --> 02:09:34,222
Come on, Molly, when did
you ever take a crazy risk?
1867
02:09:35,307 --> 02:09:37,225
I'm with you, Roy.
1868
02:09:40,395 --> 02:09:42,064
I'm with you.
1869
02:09:46,318 --> 02:09:47,653
You know...
1870
02:09:48,487 --> 02:09:50,489
...we could kiss...
1871
02:09:51,823 --> 02:09:54,660
You mean like a no harm, no foul kiss?
1872
02:09:54,826 --> 02:09:57,663
Yeah, kind of a semi-platonic little...
1873
02:09:58,497 --> 02:09:59,498
...sweet...
1874
02:09:59,665 --> 02:10:00,916
...innocent...
1875
02:10:01,083 --> 02:10:02,584
Good idea!
136223
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
