All language subtitles for The.Bold.Type.S04E13.Lost.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb-eng

- Previously
on "The Bold Type"...

- Wow.
- I don't know.

I mean, I miss my old ones.

I got a double mastectomy
three months ago.

These don't feel like me.

I don't feel like me, and I...
I just really wish I did.

- I'm glad we got
stuck together today.

- He is my employee.
- And you like him.

- How am I gonna do this job
and have a baby?

- I love you, and I'm here,
and we'll make it happen.

- So you two are back together?
- We are working on it.

- "Miles Shaw."
Didn't you date him in college?

- Where were we?
- Hmm.

- You got fired, Kat.

Either you pay
the full mortgage,

or we are gonna rent
this place out.

- Or you could just
move in with me.

- I might take you up on that.

- Since we're talking
about the apartment,

there are some rules.

Utilities are split evenly,
groceries are fair game,

and if my door is shut,
knock, okay?

- Will do.
- Reliable Buddy 2.0?

- Speaking of which,

I used it for the first time
last night since my surgery.

- Wow.
- Jane, that's awesome.

- Bet I know who sparked it.
- Yeah, Scotty.

- No.
- He reawakened that libido.

- Hmm, resurrected
your lady boner.

- No, not Scott, my employee.
- Okay.

- I just have been feeling
more like myself lately.

- That's good.
- How about you?

How are you feeling,

since you're gonna be
leaving this place?

- Honestly pretty emotional,
you know?

It's kind of weird.

I feel like my entire existence
is in this apartment.

[bubble wrap pops]

- That was an accident.

- She's having a moment.
- Let me have my moment.

That couch...

Oh man, I bought that couch
after my first promotion.

Named her Connie.

And we binged
"The L Word" together

when I was figuring out
my sexuality.

And this table...

Basically ran my campaign
right here.

And now I'm storing all of it.
[sighs]

[bubble wrap pops]

Sutton, it's enough.
- Can you stop?

- I just feel like
if we have bubble wrap,

we should be using it.

- Okay, we are gonna use it

'cause there's one more thing
we haven't wrapped.

- Ah, yes.
- Hey, Kat?

[giggles]

[bubble wrap pops]

- [screams]

[both laugh]

[pop music]

- ♪ All the time,
they're right beside me ♪

- Where's "The New Yorker"?
The one with the yellow cover?

- I don't know.
- Oh, here it is.

This article
by your college boyfriend,

"In the Knick of Time,"
did you read it?

- A little bit.
- It's descriptive.

- Well, he's
a very talented writer.

- "The moment I saw her,
I fell in love all over again.

"And when she smiled,
showing her vulnerability,

I wanted to devour
all her pain."

Was he writing about you?

- We were separated, lan.

And he's a writer.

That's what writers do.

- And yet you keep it
in your nightstand... why?

- I... I actually
don't even know why.

We should talk about this later.

- Yeah, sure thing.

[melancholy music]

♪

- Sutton?
Babe, are you still here?

Oh, good.
You haven't left yet.

I got something for you.
Open it.

- Oh, okay.

[gasps]
It's a baby book.

- Yeah.

- With baseballs.

We're not gonna find out
the sex for a while, you know?

- I know, I know,
but boy, girl, nonbinary...

They will be required
to love the Yankees.

- Well, as long as I can
keep loving the Phillies.

- Okay.
[both laugh]

- Open it.
Look at the first page.

We get to fill
that one out today.

- Oh.
"Baby's first ultrasound."

I love it.

[whispers]
Thank you.

[funky music]

♪

[phone pings]

- Whoa, excuse me.
Excuse me, this is my...

- Go...
- Sorry.

Thank you, sorry.

- Yeah, no, it's... it's
a crowded elevator, so yeah.

- Yeah.
- [clears throat]

So did you have a good weekend?

- I did.
You?

- Yeah, it was mostly
uneventful, but...

- "Mostly"?

- Yeah, well, I... I did get
a few things working

that weren't before, so...

- Well, that's good.
- Yeah, it is.

- Can I leave some flyers
here with you?

I know how many people
you see each day.

I figure you can pass them on.

- Of course.
- Here you go.

- Oh, a domestic
violence shelter.

That's awesome.
- It is.

- I thought you worked
in finance.

- I did, but I left

after my sister was abused
by her husband.

- Oh, I'm really sorry.

- She's okay now
thanks to shelters like this.

I just wanna make a difference,
you know?

- Yeah, actually I... I do know.

Hey, do you mind if I talk
to Darby about your work?

Maybe promote the shelter?
- Yeah, please.

Every little bit helps.
That's great, yeah.

- Okay.
- Thanks.

- Yeah, of course.

- This too.
Thank you so much.

- [sighs]
- Oh, hey, Georgia.

Everything go well
with the shoot?

- Yeah, everything was great.
- You sure?

- It wasn't the shoot.

The stylist I hired
for my son's graduation

just ditched me
for a spread in "Vogue."

- Oh, no.
- Yeah.

Do you freelance?
- Yeah.

As long as it doesn't interfere
with this, it's no problem.

- Great, because
it's in two days,

and my son needs
some help as well.

- Well, let's up
your fashion game and his.

I already have your sizes,
so I can start pulling.

How about your son?
- Size four.

[chuckles]
He's a rising first grader.

- Oh, it's
a kindergarten graduation.

- I'll text you my address.
We can meet after work.

- That sounds perfect.
- Great, isn't it?

- It's so great.

[upbeat music]

♪

- Here you go.
- Oh, thanks, Kat.

- Yeah.

You know Penny Davenport?
- Mm-hmm.

- She runs a domestic violence
shelter, and I think

she'd be a great person
to speak at one of our events.

- That's a good idea.
- Thank you.

- I've got to run to a meeting.
Thanks, Kat.

- Yeah, also...

I feel like we should
be livestreaming

these speaking events

and posting them
to "The Belle" website.

That way, we're reaching
thousands of women

instead of just
the people that are here.

- Mm-hmm.

- I mean, you could even do,

like, a more intimate
interview series,

like a... well,
like a podcast, maybe.

Women here talk to me all
the time when I'm just working,

and they have super
interesting stories and ideas.

And it could be
a casual interview

from across the bar.

- With you.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

What makes you think you're
the right person to do this?

- Well, I mean, I used to run
social media at "Scarlet,"

which was basically curating
content for women by women.

It's what I do... or did.

- How about you record
one episode?

And if I don't like it, then...

- Then, I mean,
I won't bring it up again.

Promise.
- Okay.

- Thank you.

- [gasps] A podcast?

Oh, my gosh.
That's awesome.

- Yeah, I mean, it's
an oversaturated market,

and I don't really know
what I'm doing,

but my parents are shrinks,
and I feel like

shrinking people is kind
of like interviewing people.

- Kat, you were made
for this job.

Ooh, you could call it
"Kat's Got Your Tongue"

or "Kat-aclysm."

- Or something without a pun?

- You could ask Alex for advice.

Get it?
"Ask Alex"?

- That's actually
a pretty good idea.

What's going on with Jane?

- I think that her sex drive
is getting in the way of work,

or, should I say, her ability
to work with Scotty Too Hotty.

- Wowie, so we are finally
admitting there's a problem.

- Okay, fine.
There is a problem.

- Hmm, I have one word
for you, Jane... Raya.

- Yeah!

- I could have a suitable fix
for you

in, like, less than an hour.

- No, I can't.
Dating, I just...

Dating is gonna make me think
about Ryan,

and I'm... I'm not ready
to do that.

- Okay, well, look,

it does kind of sound
like your body is ready.

And that's very different
from dating, so

unless you wanna accidentally
hook up with your employee...

- Okay, okay, fine.
I will Raya.

- [gasps]

[pop music]

♪

Hi.
- Hey.

- Hey, Doctor.
- How are you?

- Good.
- Great.

- It says here
that this is your first baby.

- Yes.
- Wow, congratulations.

- Thank you.
- All right.

I'll have you lie back,
and just tuck up your shirt,

tuck down your pants.

- Sure.

- I apologize in advance.
Our gel warmer is on the fritz,

so this is gonna be
a little bit cold.

- Okay.
- All right.

- Ooh, that is cold.
[both laugh]

- How does everything look?

- Is the machine
on the fritz too?

- I'm gonna have you
sit up again, please.

There's no heartbeat.

I'm so sorry.

[solemn music]

- Statistically, 10% of
pregnancies end in miscarriage.

It's not your fault.

And just because
it's happened once

doesn't mean it's
gonna happen again.

- ♪ Stuck here
in the in-between ♪

♪

- Okay, so what now?

- So now you two wait.

It should take
up to about 48 hours or so.

Because it's early
in the pregnancy,

it's gonna feel
like heavy cramping

followed by a heavy period.

In fact, you probably want
to use these pads.

- ♪ Break down here

♪

- I'm sorry.

I'm gonna give you two
a minute, okay?

- ♪ Whoa, oh, whoa, oh

♪

♪ Breathe

♪ Still, I have
to tell myself to breathe ♪

- I just need Darby
to like one episode.

- I saw you rise all the way
to the top of "Scarlet."

You don't do anything
half-assed,

and this podcast
is gonna be no exception.

- Well, thanks.
I appreciate it.

Just... I'm trying to find
some direction, you know?

I mean, this podcast feels
like the right step, so...

- Okay, mics.

If I were you, I would go
with ProFrequency.

It's got a little less
sensitive condenser mic,

but better
for a busy environment.

- Like a bar.
- Exactly.

- Okay.
All right, so...

- Hey.
- Thank you.

- You're welcome.
- Oh.

- I'm trying to start a podcast.

- Oh, congratulations.
- Thank you.

[lowers voice]
Hello,

and welcome to "The Belle
Podcast" with Kat Edison.

- [vocalizes]
- Our first guest is...

- Uh... your card's
been declined.

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

- It's probably a mistake, so...

[phone buzzes]

Um, I probably just forgot to...

- Do you...
I can just grab it for you.

- No, no, no, no.

- I'll hold onto these.

- Hey, you want some chamomile?

I could order some food.

Watch a movie, stay in together.

Chicken soup?

Not that you're sick,

but I just thought that
comfort food might help you.

Hey.

You haven't said anything since
we left the doctor's office.

How are you feeling?

- Like you said,
I'm not sick, you know?

And I feel fine, so...

I was supposed to meet
Kat and Jane at The Belle.

Maybe I'll... I'll do that.
- Are you sure?

- Yeah, I can't sit here
for 48 hours.

- Well, it could be less.
- If it is, I'll come home.

- Okay, I was gonna
cancel the meeting I had,

but since you're gonna see
the girls, I'll keep it.

But if you need me...
- I'll call you.

- Yeah.

- I love you.
- I love you.

[melancholic music]

♪

- The doctor said
it could happen anytime

in the next two days.

- Sutton.
- We're so sorry.

- I'm fine.

And... and Richard... he's
being amazing as always, so...

I'm gonna go home
and rest after this.

I just wanted you guys to know,
and now you do, so...

[phone buzzes]

Oh, shit.

I forgot
about this styling job I took.

I'm supposed to pull clothes
after work.

- I thought you said you were
gonna go home after this.

- Maybe you should rest.

- Oh, yeah, I'm... I'm gonna
call Timothy when I leave

and see if he wants a side gig.

No work.
I promise.

So who's gonna be keeping me
posted on this double date?

I'm gonna need the play-by-play.

- I'll document it.

Oh, I'm gonna live tweet
the whole thing.

- ♪ Ooh, dress cleaner
that a Sunday ♪

♪ I'm goody good
like gelato ♪

- But it is way too scary,
so I will not watch it again.

- Oh, wow.
- Yeah.

[both laugh]

- Favorite book of last year?
- Oh, okay.

"Trick Mirror."
You know it?

- Yeah, I couldn't put it down.

Of course, I was on a cruise
with my parents,

so it could've been
an avoidance tactic.

Yeah, yeah.
- No.

- A dark and stormy for Kevin,
and a vodka soda for Jane.

- Thank you.

You know, you don't have
to bartend here, right?

- Oh, yeah, I know.

Just wanna make sure
you have everything you need.

- Hmm, good friend.
- She's the best.

Are you guys gonna join us?
- Yeah.

We're just waiting
on our drinks,

but we'll be over in a minute.

- Okay.
- Okay, hmm.

- So you have a Vertical,
which means you're an editor?

- And apparently it also means
I have clingy friends.

- Yeah?
- [laughs]

♪

- ♪ Hitting on the edges

- Sorry, but...

- Should we start with your son?

- He is the man of the hour,
so why not?

- I had so much fun
shopping for him today.

So I was thinking we could do,
like, a father-son thing.

Play in that same color palette.

- So cute.
Yeah.

Oh, my husband has
a suit like this.

I'm sure he'd love that.
- Great.

- Aww.

- So... so did you
always want kids?

- I did, but that didn't
make it any easier.

Three rounds of IUI, two of IVF.

Almost started thinking
it wasn't gonna happen for us.

- But it did.

How was your pregnancy?

- Morning sickness
the first trimester,

bed rest at the end.

You know, but it was
all worth it

when I held my son
for the first time.

Ah, I see you're married.
Are you planning to have kids?

- Um...

My husband and I
just got married,

so we're taking it slow.

- What do you think of bow ties?

- Ah, yes.

Um...

- Oh.
- [chuckles]

Right?

- That would look great.

♪

- ♪ Dirty, dirty secret

♪ Our pretty lie

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ Without disguise

♪ Oh, oh, oh, oh

♪ And I've got a taste
of danger, getting off ♪

- Your place is really nice.
- Yeah, okay.

- ♪ Pretty lies

♪ Dirty little secret

♪ Oh, oh,
dirty little secret ♪

- [sighs, stammers]

Wait.
- What?

- I'm sorry.
- What?

Is everything okay?
- Yeah, sorry.

It's not you.
I just...

I... I think I need
to take things slow.

- Of course.
Whatever you need.

- Um...

Maybe we should do this
another night.

- No worries... I'll call you.
- Yeah.

Great.
Yeah.

It's just... it's over there.
- Yeah.

[solemn music]

♪

["Easy" by Alison Wonderland
playing]

♪

- ♪ Time feels slower
inside of my head ♪

♪

♪ Can I paint a picture

♪ Of the world
that I see instead? ♪

♪ And I know it's

♪ They say
I'm not really that bad ♪

♪

♪ But I think too much

- Hey.
- Hey.

[both laugh]

- Feels weird to be
back at Safford.

- Yeah, I mean, I figured this
would be a lot less...

- Out in the open?
- Exactly.

- Yeah.
- So I wanna help you.

- Whoa.

- Turns out "Scarlet"
has a bunch

of extra podcast mics
just laying around.

- Huh.
- Hmm.

- You want me to steal
"Scarlet" property?

- More like borrow it.
- Right.

- You know, I loan you my mixer.

As long as you drop it to me
early in the morning,

no one will be none the wiser,
you know?

- Alex, I appreciate it,

but I'm not gonna get you fired
so I can record a podcast.

But thanks.

- You're sure?
- Yeah.

- Okay.

So then, what are you gonna do?

- Well, my paycheck
hasn't cleared yet,

and I accidentally...

I paid three months
of storage space up front,

which is why
my account overdrafted,

but I'm gonna have some cash
in a couple days.

And I... I mean, most of that
is gonna go to rent,

and my phone bill,
and overdraft fees,

but it's all good.

- How much was
the storage space?

- $300 a month.

- 300... wow, that's
a huge monthly expense

on a bartender's salary.

Can you cancel it?

- Well, where would
I put my stuff?

- Well, you can sell it.
- I can't do that.

I already lost "Scarlet,"
and my apartment,

and my 401[k], and...

[somber music]

The only thing I do know is that

I can't lose anything else,

so selling my stuff is
just not an option.

♪

[funky music]

♪

- Everything was great.

I mean, he was sweet,
and cute, and...

[sighs]
I don't know.

We just started hooking up,
and I...

I couldn't go through with it.

- Well, I think it makes sense.

You haven't been with anyone
since Ryan, and change is hard.

I get it.

Just think of this guy
as a warm-up, you know?

There are plenty more on Raya.
I could get right on it.

Just say the word.

- Yeah, can we just
focus on Sutton?

- Yeah.

- I can't imagine having
to wait this long.

- I know, but at least
we're here to cheer her up.

- Yeah.
- Hey.

What are you guys doing here?

- We brought coffee and bagels.
- Oh.

- Yeah.
Shouldn't you be in bed?

- Did it already happen?
- No, it didn't.

No.
Both: Oh.

- What's with the clothes?

- Oh, I went shopping.
- Huh, retail therapy.

- Kind of, except
it wasn't for me.

It was for Georgia and her son.

- But I thought that you were
gonna have Timothy do that

so you could go home and rest.

- You know, I was going to,
and then I was like,

"Wait a minute.
Tuxedos for five-year-old boys?

How could I not?"

So I'm on my way
to meet the little guy now.

I should probably get going.

- Hold on.
- Hey.

Are you okay?
- Yeah.

I mean, you know,
this pad's a little thick,

but other than that, I'm fine.

- Okay, 'cause I mean,
you're gonna go style a kid

while you're waiting
to miscarry.

It's just...
- Yeah.

That's crazy.
- No.

- No, I know it's crazy.
It is.

But I have to do it because...

Because I don't feel anything.

- What do you mean?

- I just keep waiting

for this tidal wave of emotions
to hit me,

and I'm not angry, or mad,
or sad, or any of the things

that you're supposed to be
about a miscarriage.

I just... I feel numb, and
I really don't wanna feel numb,

so I'm gonna go dress
this little boy,

and then, you know,
maybe then...

- You'll feel something.

[tense music]

♪

- So you wanna know
why I keep the magazine?

- Yes, I do.

- I like to read the story.
- Why?

- Because it's romantic.
- It's romantic?

It's an account
of you two having sex.

- It's an account
of how a man sees a woman.

- Oh, Jacqueline,
are you serious?

- Look, we are working hard
in therapy and at home

to try to communicate better.

And this is me telling you
why I kept the article.

I felt seen.

[eerie music]

♪

[hip-hop music]

♪

- Hey, I'm so glad you called.

I really appreciate
your donations.

- Yeah.
- Wow, this is fantastic.

- Yeah, the first one helped me

through a really difficult
board room presentation.

I was actually wearing this
when I got my first promotion.

- Actually, this would be
perfect for Thelma.

Yeah, she's just been with us
for about three weeks,

and she just got her first
interview as a receptionist.

- That's awesome.
- Yeah.

- Would you let me know
how it goes?

- Yes, definitely.
Thank you, Kat.

- It's nothing.
- No.

You're helping to make a woman
who is reinventing her life

and herself
feel confident again.

That's not nothing, Kat.
It's actually everything.

Thanks for this.
- Yeah.

Hey, Alex, can you meet me
at my place after work?

I need your help with something.

[funky music]

♪

- Hey, I'm gonna need
another hour on this,

but the story's really good.

- Great, yeah.
Take whatever time you need.

- You okay?
- Yeah, I'm fine.

Um... it's... it's complicated.

- Try me.

- Okay.

Well, you know how I told you
that my mom died?

It was from breast cancer.

She had the BRCA1 mutation,
and so do I.

- I read your pieces about it.
- Yeah.

But what I haven't
written about yet is

that a couple months ago,

I got a preventative
double mastectomy.

[sighs]

I'm really happy
that I had the surgery.

I just thought
that once it was done,

I would feel like myself again,

and I don't.

And my friends
have been amazing,

but they have their own
problems to worry about.

So I guess sometimes,
I just feel alone.

- When my dad died,
I felt the same way,

so I joined
a grief support group.

It helped.

Your people are out there.
You just need to find them.

- Yeah.

[ambient music]

♪

- [laughs] Whoa, okay.

Now I see why you needed
so much storage space.

- I know.
It's a lot.

- What changed your mind?

- I just...

I just wanted to do something
that matters, you know?

And I really believe that
if I can convince The Belle

to give me this podcast,
then I can.

So now I just have
to sell all this stuff,

and I feel like
I can't do it by myself.

- Well, the hardest part
is just the start.

- Yeah.

- Why don't we just start
with the furniture?

- Yes.
- Yes.

This is a...
- Love that.

- Whoa, this is kind of broken.

You're not gonna
get much for this.

We could list it
for, like, 20 bucks.

- 20 bucks?
- Yeah.

- It's a nice table.

- This is kind of hard,
isn't it, Kat?

- Kind of, yeah.

- Look, the more you do it,
the easier it gets.

Trust me... when I was 12,

we had to move
to a smaller space

in a better school district,
and I left a lot behind,

in particular, a desk with tons
of Pokémon stickers on it.

- Pokémon.
- [laughs]

Hey, I'm not ashamed.
It's a... it comes back around.

Anyway, I loved this desk.
It helped me become a writer.

And when it was time
to say good-bye,

I... I just couldn't.

I freaked out.

But my mom had me explain

why every sticker
was so important.

Turns out that sharing...

Actually helped.

So tell me
about old Wobbles here.

Why is it so wobbly?

Come on, I know there's
a story behind it.

- It was actually
the first piece of furniture

that I put together
all by myself.

I wanted to do it alone,
and I did.

I mean, yeah,

there were a couple
of pieces left over, but...

- A couple?
- Stop.

[phone buzzes]

- It's okay, sweetie.
She's really nice.

You're gonna like her a lot.
Oh, it's okay.

[solemn music]

It's okay.

♪

Leo, this is Sutton.

She picked out some clothes
for your party.

♪

- Nice to meet you, Leo.

I heard that you are graduating
from kindergarten.

How do you feel
about dressing like your daddy?

Does that sound cool?
- Yeah.

- Yeah?
Okay.

Let's see if this jacket fits.
Mm-hmm.

Oh, wow.
You look so handsome.

And it's a perfect fit.
How do you feel?

- Important.
Thanks, Sutton.

- Oh.
Aw.

Ow.
[groans]

- Are you okay?
- Yes.

I'm just having
some stomach pain.

I should probably...

I should probably go.

- Thanks for coming over.

- Is that your queer prom dress?

- Yeah.
- I love that dress.

- Me too.
You know what's crazy?

That night at the Wild Susan,

and the fact that
we couldn't save it...

That's the whole reason
why I ran for city council.

It feels like that
was so long ago.

- Yeah.

So much has changed since then.

- I know.
That's why I called you.

I know we've been checking in
on Sutton a lot lately,

and things have been
kind of crazy and intense,

but I just wanna check in on
you and make sure you're okay.

Because I feel like
I pushed you,

and if you're not ready to
move on from things with Ryan...

- It's not that.
[sighs]

I mean, yeah,

Ryan was supposed
to be my person.

I was so focused
on getting better

that I think I just buried
the pain of our breakup,

and I... I haven't dealt with it.

But the other night
wasn't even about that.

It was about these things,
and I just...

I'm not comfortable with them.

And I... I want so badly to be,
but I'm not.

And I just... when Kevin tried
to touch me there,

I just... I freaked out.

[exhales]

- I'm sorry.
I had no idea.

- I didn't either.
Oh.

But now that I do,
I think I need help.

- Well, whatever you need,
I got you.

- [chuckles]

That's the thing...
Is you can't help.

Not with this.

I think I need

people who have been
in my situation before.

Which is why I wrote
a piece about it,

to see if maybe
I could find people like me.

And I called a meeting
at The Belle

at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow.

We'll see if people show up.
- I think they will.

I hope they will.
- Me too.

- Hey, will you give me a hug
at least?

- [scoffs] Duh.

- Come on.
- [laughs]

- Baby, get over here.

- I love you.
- I love you.

Oh, the last piece
is all yours, yeah.

- What?
- [exhales]

- But you love that couch.

- I know, but I had to sell her.

Sorry.
Excuse us.

Bye, Connie.

Have a great life.
- Bye, girl.

- Oh.

- Ian, you home?
- I'm in the bedroom.

- Ian?

♪

What is all of this?

- I do see you, Jacqueline,

as sexy, and exciting,

and the love of my life.

You see, I'm not a writer.

I don't have the words
to explain how I see you,

not in the way that Miles does.

- Ian...
- But I am a photographer.

And I want to show you

what I see when I look at you.

Because you are
everything to me.

[tender music]

♪

- Well...

For someone who's
not a wordsmith,

that was pretty good.

- Beautiful.

♪

- Does it hurt?

- Yeah, but I'll be fine.

- Can I get you anything?

- Oh, I'm so sorry.

- It's not your fault.

[solemn music]

- [crying]

["Just The Way I Am" playing]

♪

- ♪ I like lingerie,
silk and lace ♪

♪ And waking up alone

♪ Don't mind the taste
of chardonnay ♪

♪ I'd rather sip merlot

♪ Sometimes I go out

♪ And shut it down

♪ Do just what I want

♪ Be just who I wanna be

- Hi.

- Yeah.
- Hi.

- ♪ There ain't no one else

♪ Whoo

♪ Knows me like myself

- You know, it's too bad that
it's only for Belle members,

or I would offer myself up
as your first guest.

- Totally, and if it weren't
a "Belle" podcast,

I would absolutely
take you up on that.

- You wouldn't, would you?

- Mm, no, but it's not
'cause you're not great.

It's just 'cause I have
another guest in mind.

- Well, there's no way
that she's better than me.

- She runs a domestic
violence shelter.

- Wow, well,
don't I feel like an ass.

- You're not an ass.
You're the best, actually,

'cause without you,
none of this would've happened.

- Oh.
- I actually got you something.

I know that you don't have
your desk anymore,

but you do have a laptop.

And I hear that
all the cool kids

put stickers
on their laptops now, so...

- ♪ 'Cause I'm aware
of where this could go ♪

- Whoa, Pokémon stickers.
[squeals]

- [laughs]
- Thank you.

This is so awesome.
You have no idea.

- ♪ To leave you lonely

♪ Got no regrets,
no sorry ♪

[phone chimes]

♪ I can't help myself

♪ It's just the way I am

♪ Stubborn,
but still you want me ♪

♪ But don't wait up
for apologies ♪

♪ Take it
or leave me, baby ♪

♪ I can't help myself

- Jane Sloan?
- Yeah?

- I read your article.
I'm Erica.

- Hi.

- I had my preventative
mastectomy six months ago.

I know what you're
going through.

I think I can help.
- Yeah.

Are you here for Jane?

- Yeah, hi.
I'm Portia.

- Nice to meet you.
- This is my friend, Erin.

- Hi... Jane.
- I'm Erica.

- ♪ It's just the way I am

- Honey, I'm home.
- [laughs]

Are you gonna do that
every time?

- Maybe.
How was your day?

Did you find your people?
- Yeah, I think I did.

- That's good.

- [gasps] Oh, my God.

Is that Connie?
- Yeah, it is!

- Oh, my God!

- I always thought
it would look great in here,

and so I tracked down the buyer.

- You did?
- Mm-hmm.

- So now she'll be here

to comfort you
through whatever's next.

- Thanks.
- You're welcome.

- Oh, you're literally the best.

- [laughs]
- And also kind of insane.

[phone buzzes]

Oh.
- Oh, it's Sutton.

- Okay.
- We should probably go.

- Come on.
Yeah, let's go.

- ♪ If I could,
I wouldn't want you ♪

♪ But it's getting late now
and I can't stop ♪

♪ It's so easy
till there's no way out ♪

- Is there anything you need?

- How are you feeling, baby?

- ♪ Fools falling
in the dark like crazy ♪

- [sighs] I feel...

- ♪ Nothing you can do
will save me now ♪

- Hey, it's okay to feel sad.

- I know.

- ♪ Break my broken

- Oh, God.

[crying]

- ♪ Give me all you got,
all you got ♪

♪ Break my broken heart

- I just don't know
what's wrong with me.

- What?

Hey, what are you talking about?

- There is nothing wrong
with you.

- ♪ I'm still breathing

- Hey, whatever
you are feeling right now,

it's okay.

- Yeah.
But, like...

What if I feel relieved?

'Cause I think I do.

I think I feel relieved
that I'm not having this baby.

- ♪ Break my broken heart

- Okay.

- I can't believe
I just said that out loud.

[exhales]

Does that make me
a terrible person?

- No, of course not.
- No way.

Mm-mm.
- [sighs]

- It's okay.

- ♪ So what's one more scar

♪ Break my

♪ Broken heart