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1
00:00:05,037 --> 00:00:06,035
Hey, guys. It's me.
2
00:00:06,037 --> 00:00:09,028
So, tomorrow begins
the trial of the millennium.
3
00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:12,029
It's pretty obvious
that Gory Dory is guilty,
4
00:00:12,031 --> 00:00:14,040
so why are we even
having this trial?
5
00:00:14,042 --> 00:00:16,024
She should be in jail!
6
00:00:16,026 --> 00:00:18,035
And not to be sexist,
but she's pretty ugly,
7
00:00:18,037 --> 00:00:21,031
and she looks like a liberal.
8
00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:24,042
And I'll be interested to see
if she ever shuts up!
9
00:00:24,044 --> 00:00:31,027
♪♪
10
00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:38,035
♪♪
11
00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:43,028
♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪
12
00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:46,035
So, this is what I was thinking
for the first day.
13
00:00:46,037 --> 00:00:50,022
It's super professional,
and it matches
14
00:00:50,024 --> 00:00:53,033
with this suit for Drew!
15
00:00:53,035 --> 00:00:55,044
Yeah, I just feel like,
you know, we're gonna look like
16
00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:59,031
some sort of brother-sister
cartoon freaks if we match.
17
00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:01,036
You know what, Cassidy?
Why don't we take
18
00:01:01,038 --> 00:01:03,036
the responsibility
off your shoulders
19
00:01:03,038 --> 00:01:05,035
of dressing us up
like little dolls
20
00:01:05,037 --> 00:01:07,040
and focus
on your opening statement,
21
00:01:07,042 --> 00:01:11,028
which I, for one,
would love to hear.
22
00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,024
Mm.
[ Chuckles ]
23
00:01:12,026 --> 00:01:15,041
Well, this is about
us coaching you,
24
00:01:15,043 --> 00:01:17,030
not the other way around.
25
00:01:17,032 --> 00:01:20,036
What's the big deal?
26
00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,035
Let's just hear
your statement.
27
00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:24,028
Are you not prepared?
28
00:01:24,030 --> 00:01:25,037
Maybe I just don't like
being put on the spot.
29
00:01:25,039 --> 00:01:28,025
Well, that's what court is.
30
00:01:28,027 --> 00:01:28,033
Right?
31
00:01:28,035 --> 00:01:31,031
So, come on.
32
00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:34,024
Practice.
33
00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:36,027
Fine.
34
00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,037
Okay. Oh, God.
35
00:01:38,039 --> 00:01:42,042
So, imagine, if you will,
36
00:01:42,044 --> 00:01:46,031
a little girl on a playground...
37
00:01:46,033 --> 00:01:48,022
swinging on a swing.
38
00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,022
Okay, um, I'm sorry,
I hate this.
39
00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:53,029
It's not cheesy,
but it just feels like it is,
40
00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:54,032
because I feel like
I'm under a microscope,
41
00:01:54,034 --> 00:01:57,030
in my own home.
42
00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:03,038
Um, and then there were these
small changes in her persona--
43
00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,025
Sorry, I'm just gonna
take that line again.
44
00:02:05,027 --> 00:02:10,028
Um, and after that, I noticed
changes in her person--
45
00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,026
I'm sorry.
I'm just in my head.
46
00:02:11,028 --> 00:02:13,042
I'm usually so amazing
at learning lines.
47
00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:16,044
I just -- It's just very weird
playing myself.
48
00:02:17,022 --> 00:02:19,037
Totally. But remember, you don't
have to be perfect up there.
49
00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,031
You're a human being.
50
00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:22,034
You have every right
to be nervous.
51
00:02:22,036 --> 00:02:24,042
Well, it kind of does
have to be perfect, alright?
52
00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:27,022
So, you know,
I guess I would just ask
53
00:02:27,024 --> 00:02:31,041
for you to just deal
with the pressure.
54
00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:34,028
Okay.
55
00:02:34,036 --> 00:02:37,026
Hey, gang.
56
00:02:37,028 --> 00:02:40,031
We're gearing up for
a long, hard battle,
57
00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:43,030
and the one gift we can
give ourselves is sleep.
58
00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:44,044
Sleep.
59
00:02:45,022 --> 00:02:48,036
Uh, thanks, Bob.
Have a good night.
60
00:02:48,038 --> 00:02:53,034
You know, my best friend died
five years ago and...
61
00:02:53,036 --> 00:02:56,038
changed the course
of my life.
62
00:02:56,040 --> 00:03:00,027
I'm sorry to hear about
your friend, Bob.
63
00:03:00,029 --> 00:03:03,021
Life. Live it.
64
00:03:03,023 --> 00:03:04,039
Exploit it.
65
00:03:04,041 --> 00:03:06,027
Take it by the neck
and choke it.
66
00:03:06,029 --> 00:03:10,039
You get out of this mess,
you guys are gonna be so lucky.
67
00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:13,031
And when you are,
do something.
68
00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:15,040
Change the world.
69
00:03:15,042 --> 00:03:21,041
Or just, you know, sit back
and make some cash, at least.
70
00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:23,025
Good night.
71
00:03:30,042 --> 00:03:34,021
Charlie! Hi!
[ Chuckles ]
72
00:03:34,023 --> 00:03:35,027
Oh, I'm so sorry.
73
00:03:35,029 --> 00:03:36,022
Um, I'm a guest
on Charlie Reeny's show.
74
00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:37,036
Do you know
where I can find her?
75
00:03:37,038 --> 00:03:40,034
Elliott Goss.
76
00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:43,025
[ Chuckling ]
Hi!
77
00:03:43,027 --> 00:03:44,035
Oh, my goodness!
78
00:03:44,037 --> 00:03:46,022
Hello!
79
00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:47,032
How are you?!
80
00:03:47,034 --> 00:03:49,044
I'm glad you finally decided
to come on my show.
81
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:50,044
Oh, well, thank you so much
for having me.
82
00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,036
I've seen enough clips
of your show to know
83
00:03:53,038 --> 00:03:55,036
that you don't often have
the gay coastal elite
84
00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:58,040
on as guests, so...
85
00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:00,029
I always like to ask
before we start,
86
00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,026
are there any
no-fly zones?
87
00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:03,038
I try and respect
my guests' privacy.
88
00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,028
Yes. Um, I tend to be very quiet
about my failures,
89
00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:10,021
so if you don't mind, please
don't mention my book deal,
90
00:04:10,023 --> 00:04:11,029
which recently crumbled.
91
00:04:11,031 --> 00:04:13,036
I'm just here to discuss
my friends, so...
92
00:04:13,038 --> 00:04:14,037
-Loud and clear.
-Cool.
93
00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:17,025
Well, I haven't gotten
into hair and makeup yet,
94
00:04:17,027 --> 00:04:19,024
so I'll see you on set.
95
00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,022
Okay.
96
00:04:20,024 --> 00:04:21,037
This is so fun!
97
00:04:21,039 --> 00:04:23,040
Thank y--
98
00:04:23,042 --> 00:04:25,026
Where do I go?
99
00:04:25,028 --> 00:04:27,026
[ All clamoring indistinctly ]
100
00:04:27,028 --> 00:04:28,042
Oh, my God.
101
00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:31,036
Gory Dory, are you
a cold-blooded killer?!
102
00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,035
Drew, did she
make you do it?!
103
00:04:33,037 --> 00:04:34,041
Get back!
Nothing, nothing!
104
00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:38,027
[ All shouting indistinctly ]
105
00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:39,033
Get away from me, you animals!
106
00:04:39,035 --> 00:04:40,043
Get back!
107
00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:45,022
Girl:
I love you, Drew!
108
00:04:45,024 --> 00:04:48,031
Please rise.
109
00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:50,021
The United States District Court
110
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,034
for the Southern District
of New York is now in session.
111
00:04:52,036 --> 00:04:55,037
The Honorable Judge
Xavier Hellerman presiding.
112
00:05:03,031 --> 00:05:06,042
Please be seated.
113
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,041
This is the United States
114
00:05:08,043 --> 00:05:12,030
vs. Dory Sief and Drew Gardner.
115
00:05:12,032 --> 00:05:14,042
Counsel, are you
ready to proceed?
116
00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:15,041
-Yes.
-Yes.
117
00:05:15,043 --> 00:05:19,031
Deputy, let's invite the jury.
118
00:05:24,036 --> 00:05:29,038
♪♪
119
00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,034
[ Whispering ]
Dory...
120
00:05:31,036 --> 00:05:33,041
I'm really scared.
121
00:05:40,036 --> 00:05:42,022
Before we begin, may I just
relay to the court
122
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that I was recently diagnosed
123
00:05:45,030 --> 00:05:48,036
with a very rare
autoimmune condition
124
00:05:48,038 --> 00:05:51,022
called Poppy Gillies disease,
125
00:05:51,024 --> 00:05:53,027
which gravely affects
my metabolism.
126
00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:56,032
There may be times
in this courtroom
127
00:05:56,034 --> 00:05:59,030
when I may be
continuously snacking,
128
00:05:59,032 --> 00:06:02,024
as my life depends on it.
129
00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:09,024
I now ask the prosecution
to give their opening statement.
130
00:06:11,025 --> 00:06:12,039
Good morning.
131
00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:15,023
Day one...
132
00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:18,044
of many, of many.
133
00:06:19,022 --> 00:06:20,038
Well, you know what?
I'd like to start
134
00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,044
by painting you
a little picture.
135
00:06:24,022 --> 00:06:26,023
It's a cool...
136
00:06:26,025 --> 00:06:30,024
breezy May afternoon.
137
00:06:30,026 --> 00:06:34,040
And a little girl sits on
the swings, on the playground.
138
00:06:34,042 --> 00:06:38,024
Only this little girl
doesn't feel like playing today.
139
00:06:38,026 --> 00:06:41,033
Something inside of her knows...
140
00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:43,038
that somewhere in Montreal,
141
00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:47,030
just five hours north
of where she sits,
142
00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,044
her father, Keith Isaac Powell,
143
00:06:50,022 --> 00:06:52,028
is being violently murdered
144
00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:58,021
by a young, attractive,
privileged couple.
145
00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:02,033
This man did not deserve to die,
146
00:07:02,035 --> 00:07:07,030
especially at the hands
of a couple of Millennials
147
00:07:07,032 --> 00:07:10,033
looking for a thrill-kill!
148
00:07:10,035 --> 00:07:13,026
Dory Sief is an attractive
woman, all right?
149
00:07:13,028 --> 00:07:16,040
But with that attractiveness
came sexual confidence.
150
00:07:16,042 --> 00:07:20,029
Mm. Sounds good.
151
00:07:20,031 --> 00:07:24,034
But that turned into
sexual deviance.
152
00:07:24,036 --> 00:07:29,031
She revealed to her...
submissive boyfriend
153
00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:31,040
that she was having an affair
154
00:07:31,042 --> 00:07:35,036
and then coerced him to just
dutifully abandon all morality
155
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,022
just to satisfy her.
156
00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,040
[ Sighs ]
157
00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:43,026
And we have undeniable proof
158
00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:46,032
against that privileged couple.
159
00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:48,035
Proof that they were in Montreal
160
00:07:48,037 --> 00:07:51,042
on the grounds
where Keith was murdered.
161
00:07:51,044 --> 00:07:53,032
Hair samples, fingerprints,
162
00:07:53,034 --> 00:07:57,030
such extensive DNA
from the crime scene.
163
00:07:57,032 --> 00:07:58,042
We have so much evidence,
164
00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:03,041
that, frankly, you're gonna
get real tired of it.
165
00:08:03,043 --> 00:08:05,040
If we allow these two
166
00:08:05,042 --> 00:08:08,026
morally repugnant
abusers of privilege off,
167
00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:10,036
well, you know
what you're doing?
168
00:08:10,038 --> 00:08:13,041
You're letting
an entire generation off.
169
00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:17,027
If we enable this entitlement
170
00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:20,026
to the degree of murder,
171
00:08:20,028 --> 00:08:21,037
I ask you,
172
00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:25,031
what kind of world
are our children growing up in?
173
00:08:25,033 --> 00:08:27,029
♪♪
174
00:08:27,031 --> 00:08:29,030
And, more importantly...
175
00:08:29,032 --> 00:08:31,025
♪♪
176
00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:34,028
...what kind of world
do you want to live in?
177
00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,040
Oh, my God!
178
00:08:36,042 --> 00:08:39,043
-[ Groaning ]
-Can we get some paper towels!
179
00:08:42,026 --> 00:08:44,032
Mm-hmm.
180
00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:47,030
I, too, feel sick.
181
00:08:47,032 --> 00:08:48,032
-Oh.
-Here.
182
00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:49,038
This is bad.
183
00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,023
This is so bad.
184
00:08:51,025 --> 00:08:53,031
-All right.
-Ugh!
185
00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,031
Oh, God. I'm so sorry.
186
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,029
Yeah, I'm so sorry.
187
00:08:57,031 --> 00:08:59,027
I'm so sorry.
188
00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:04,025
Uh, just want
to say sorry.
189
00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:06,029
I'm so sorry.
190
00:09:06,031 --> 00:09:10,039
Now for the defense's
opening statements.
191
00:09:14,022 --> 00:09:16,022
Okay.
192
00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,039
Good afternoon, everyone.
193
00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:30,039
Members of the jury...
194
00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:34,037
fellow attorneys, et al.
Umm...
195
00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:38,029
In an unpredictable coincidence,
196
00:09:38,031 --> 00:09:40,031
my opening statement also began
197
00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:44,024
with imagery of a young girl
on a playground.
198
00:09:44,026 --> 00:09:46,030
It was different,
but not different enough
199
00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:51,041
for me to want
to still do it, so...
200
00:09:51,043 --> 00:09:55,033
Um, here comes
some improvisation,
201
00:09:55,035 --> 00:09:57,028
so...
202
00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,025
Hmph.
203
00:10:00,027 --> 00:10:06,025
This question is for the ladies
in the room!
204
00:10:06,027 --> 00:10:07,029
Have you ever felt,
205
00:10:07,031 --> 00:10:10,042
while walking down
the street at night,
206
00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:15,042
that there was someone
behind you, watching you?
207
00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:17,037
I'm sure you've had
this experience.
208
00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:25,021
And I know for a fact
that my client Dory Sief has.
209
00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:28,023
She was trying to make
the world a better place.
210
00:10:28,025 --> 00:10:30,031
She was trying to be
a good person.
211
00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:33,029
She was actually trying
to save her friend
212
00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,042
Chantal Witherbottom,
213
00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:39,026
who, to her knowledge,
was in serious trouble.
214
00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:41,029
Now, along the way,
she met a man,
215
00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:45,042
"Keith Powell,"
whom she befriended.
216
00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:50,034
Mr. Powell developed feelings
for my client,
217
00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:52,022
which she indulged
218
00:10:52,024 --> 00:10:55,043
with the permission
of her understanding boyfriend.
219
00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:58,039
However, when the time came
220
00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:02,022
for Dory to end things
with Keith,
221
00:11:02,024 --> 00:11:04,031
he did not take it well.
222
00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:08,031
He put a tracking device
on her phone
223
00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:10,037
and followed her to Montreal
224
00:11:10,039 --> 00:11:14,030
in a dangerous fit.
225
00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:18,025
So it's obvious
that the question then becomes
226
00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:20,031
who followed Keith to Montreal
227
00:11:20,033 --> 00:11:24,035
and committed
this terrible crime?
228
00:11:24,037 --> 00:11:28,034
My client is not a murderer.
229
00:11:28,036 --> 00:11:30,040
She is a victim.
230
00:11:30,042 --> 00:11:32,044
She is a victim of circumstance,
231
00:11:33,022 --> 00:11:35,027
and she is a victim
of the patriarchy,
232
00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:38,022
as are we all.
233
00:11:38,024 --> 00:11:40,030
Mr. Powell was
an immoral predator
234
00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,039
who wanted to harass my client.
235
00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:47,021
And I'm proud of her
for not retaliating
236
00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:49,035
in the face of that harassment.
237
00:11:49,037 --> 00:11:51,027
I'm proud of her
for not even being aware
238
00:11:51,029 --> 00:11:53,044
of his murder at all.
239
00:11:54,022 --> 00:11:58,024
And I am proud of her
240
00:11:58,026 --> 00:12:01,021
for being a resilient, brave,
241
00:12:01,023 --> 00:12:03,044
modern woman.
242
00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:08,022
Thank you.
243
00:12:08,024 --> 00:12:11,038
And thank you...all.
244
00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:23,024
What?
245
00:12:23,026 --> 00:12:25,040
Man: Camera.
And we're back from commercial
246
00:12:25,042 --> 00:12:28,036
in 3, 2, 1.
247
00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:31,039
Hi. You're watching "Open Fire
with Charlie Reeny."
248
00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,022
My name is Charlie Reeny,
249
00:12:33,024 --> 00:12:35,024
and I have a hot show
for you today.
250
00:12:35,026 --> 00:12:38,023
It's the first day of trial
in the Gory Dory murder case,
251
00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,022
and joining me today
is lifelong friend
252
00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:42,029
of the murderous couple,
defense witness
253
00:12:42,031 --> 00:12:45,021
and gay rights activist
Elliott Goss.
254
00:12:45,023 --> 00:12:48,023
[ Chuckles ] Uh, I wouldn't
necessarily call myself that.
255
00:12:48,025 --> 00:12:50,021
I'm certainly a friend
of the movement,
256
00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:52,026
but I've never been
to a march in my life.
257
00:12:52,028 --> 00:12:54,041
So, Elliott, before we get into
how you and your friends
258
00:12:54,043 --> 00:12:57,024
represent absolutely
everything that's wrong
259
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,036
-with young liberals...
-Mm.
260
00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:02,022
...I wanted to give you a chance
to plug your book.
261
00:13:08,025 --> 00:13:10,034
Okay.
[ Chuckles ]
262
00:13:10,036 --> 00:13:12,021
What's shocking?
263
00:13:12,023 --> 00:13:13,042
The fact that you squandered
the only chance you had
264
00:13:13,044 --> 00:13:16,033
at a real career
by having writer's block,
265
00:13:16,035 --> 00:13:21,026
or the fact that my producer's
niece can draw this well?
266
00:13:21,028 --> 00:13:22,030
I know what I was
trying to say,
267
00:13:22,032 --> 00:13:24,042
and it's that
that is not my book.
268
00:13:24,044 --> 00:13:27,022
-It looks just like you.
-Well, it's not my book.
269
00:13:27,024 --> 00:13:28,027
And I didn't write --
It's -- It's --
270
00:13:28,029 --> 00:13:31,026
Blond hair, blue eyes?
271
00:13:33,028 --> 00:13:33,038
My turn.
272
00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,034
Help me up, please.
273
00:13:37,036 --> 00:13:40,043
Ohh!
Whew!
274
00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,044
Ladies and gentlemen
of the jury.
275
00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:46,028
Your Honor.
276
00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:50,033
Cassidy brought up
some very interesting points
277
00:13:50,035 --> 00:13:51,033
that I'm sure resonate
278
00:13:51,035 --> 00:13:56,029
with many people
around the world.
279
00:13:56,031 --> 00:14:00,039
The prosecution, well,
what was she talking about?
280
00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:02,031
I tried to follow it.
281
00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:05,021
I don't know
what she was saying.
282
00:14:05,023 --> 00:14:07,027
They both told stories,
283
00:14:07,029 --> 00:14:10,034
but I am gonna talk
about the evidence,
284
00:14:10,036 --> 00:14:13,035
because if there's one thing
I'm completely confident of
285
00:14:13,037 --> 00:14:19,028
is that my client,
Eddie, is innocent.
286
00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:21,037
[ Whispering ]
Eddie?! Who's Eddie?
287
00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:23,022
Oh, uh --
288
00:14:23,024 --> 00:14:25,021
It's -- Bob, it's Drew.
289
00:14:25,023 --> 00:14:26,035
Drew! Drew!
290
00:14:26,037 --> 00:14:28,042
Drew is innocent.
291
00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:31,024
[ Chuckles ]
292
00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:33,031
Do you ever have
one of those days?
293
00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:42,028
♪♪
294
00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:50,032
♪♪
295
00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:58,034
♪♪
296
00:14:58,036 --> 00:15:06,036
♪♪
297
00:15:10,027 --> 00:15:11,036
Charlie: You cannot hire
any women taller than me.
298
00:15:11,038 --> 00:15:13,037
End of discussion.
She's 5'7". I'm 5'6".
299
00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:15,032
Do the fuckin' work.
300
00:15:15,034 --> 00:15:16,043
Are you okay?
301
00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:18,041
You look beat up.
302
00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:21,033
I'm sorry. I just didn't
quite expect this from you,
303
00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:23,033
not as a guest
in your own house.
304
00:15:23,035 --> 00:15:25,033
Babe, that's the game.
305
00:15:25,035 --> 00:15:27,027
Do you like watching
polite TV? No.
306
00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:28,033
[ Chuckles ]
You like watching good TV.
307
00:15:28,035 --> 00:15:33,032
Man:
And we're back in 3, 2, 1.
308
00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:36,026
Welcome back to "Open Fire
with Charlie Reeny."
309
00:15:36,028 --> 00:15:37,039
I'm your host, Charlie Reeny.
And joining me today
310
00:15:37,041 --> 00:15:41,042
is the man who helped
his friends bury a body,
311
00:15:41,044 --> 00:15:43,021
Elliott Goss.
312
00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:44,029
[ Sniffs ]
313
00:15:44,031 --> 00:15:45,037
I'm sorry.
314
00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:47,037
-Did you fart?
-What?
315
00:15:47,039 --> 00:15:50,035
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, my God!
316
00:15:50,037 --> 00:15:53,021
I can't believe that much smell
came out of you.
317
00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:55,029
I mean, you are too tiny
to make that much smell.
318
00:15:55,031 --> 00:15:55,042
It's sick!
319
00:15:55,044 --> 00:15:58,022
People, I didn't fart.
320
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,026
Oh, God. Oh, God.
321
00:16:00,028 --> 00:16:02,034
Yeah, you guys -- Right?
You, too?
322
00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:03,031
Yeah, even the producers
can smell it.
323
00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:05,034
It's thatdisgusting.
324
00:16:05,036 --> 00:16:08,029
Did you --
Oh, my God.
325
00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:11,021
Did you eat
an old ostrich egg?
326
00:16:11,023 --> 00:16:12,034
I don't fart!
327
00:16:12,036 --> 00:16:14,032
I don't fart!
328
00:16:16,029 --> 00:16:19,034
Your Honor, I would like
to call the witness
329
00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:23,030
Portia Davenport
to the stand, please.
330
00:16:26,032 --> 00:16:29,035
[ Spectators murmur ]
331
00:16:48,037 --> 00:16:50,030
Raise your right hand.
332
00:16:50,032 --> 00:16:51,038
Do you swear or affirm
333
00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,039
that the testimony
you are about to give
334
00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:55,039
will be the truth,
the whole truth,
335
00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:56,030
and nothing but the truth?
336
00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:58,031
Yes, I-I do.
337
00:16:58,033 --> 00:17:00,039
-Please be seated.
-Okay.
338
00:17:02,037 --> 00:17:05,029
-Good morning.
-Good morning.
339
00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:08,023
How is it
that you, uh, know
340
00:17:08,025 --> 00:17:11,030
the defendants, Dory Sief
and Drew Gardner?
341
00:17:11,032 --> 00:17:13,022
Um, well, I met
Dory in college.
342
00:17:13,024 --> 00:17:16,027
[ Chuckling ] And it's actually
a funny story.
343
00:17:16,029 --> 00:17:17,023
It always makes me laugh.
344
00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:19,035
It's way too long
to tell you guys,
345
00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:21,027
but I'll just say
that it involves
346
00:17:21,029 --> 00:17:24,038
me locking myself out
of my dorm room totally naked
347
00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,034
and then having to wait
in Dory's dorm room
348
00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:31,024
until someone
unlocked mine.
349
00:17:31,026 --> 00:17:33,041
And, actually,
that is the entire story.
350
00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:35,041
And then she met Drew,
351
00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:36,042
and we all became good buds.
352
00:17:36,044 --> 00:17:39,028
But they weren't
very good buds
353
00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:43,039
on the night of May 26th,
now, were they?
354
00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,044
No.
355
00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,042
In a testimony
that you made to police,
356
00:17:47,044 --> 00:17:49,027
you stated,
357
00:17:49,029 --> 00:17:52,036
Quote: "I stopped dry-humping
with the Frenchman
358
00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,042
and went downstairs
to get a glass of water.
359
00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:57,044
When I got to the kitchen,
I discovered my friends
360
00:17:58,022 --> 00:18:03,030
stuffing Keith's body
into a zebra-print suitcase.
361
00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:07,026
They convinced me
to bury the suitcase with them.
362
00:18:07,028 --> 00:18:10,029
I still have nightmares
every night."
363
00:18:10,031 --> 00:18:13,041
Do you still stand by
this statement, Portia?
364
00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:15,021
Yes, I do.
365
00:18:15,023 --> 00:18:16,037
Now, you've known Dory
intimately
366
00:18:16,039 --> 00:18:19,035
for a long time,
would you say?
367
00:18:19,037 --> 00:18:22,021
How would you
describe her?
368
00:18:22,023 --> 00:18:25,021
Well, my answer is
kind of changing lately.
369
00:18:25,023 --> 00:18:30,033
Um, but if you had asked me
before all this,
370
00:18:30,035 --> 00:18:32,026
oh, man.
371
00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,038
I would say
Dory is so nice.
372
00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,041
And she's
such a good friend
373
00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:40,024
and very creative
and introspective.
374
00:18:40,026 --> 00:18:44,031
But how would you
describe her now?
375
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:48,029
[ Voice breaking ]
I don't really know what's real
376
00:18:48,031 --> 00:18:50,021
and what's not real with her.
377
00:18:50,023 --> 00:18:54,024
After this whole era,
it's sort of my opinion
378
00:18:54,026 --> 00:18:55,023
that she really resents
379
00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:59,022
that she just doesn't
have a sense of self.
380
00:18:59,024 --> 00:19:01,042
And now that I'm sitting here
thinking about it,
381
00:19:01,044 --> 00:19:05,030
I didn't ever want
to even look for Chantal.
382
00:19:05,032 --> 00:19:08,022
I just did it
because I loved my friend,
383
00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:14,022
and I was very worried
about her mental health,
384
00:19:14,024 --> 00:19:17,022
and I wanted to be
a good friend.
385
00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:19,022
But then it kept getting
bigger and bigger,
386
00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:23,021
and she just dragged me
into these problems
387
00:19:23,023 --> 00:19:27,024
that I don't think I deserved
to be dragged into.
388
00:19:27,026 --> 00:19:30,023
And then Keith dies,
and it's like
389
00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:32,031
she could have kept me
out of it, and she just didn't.
390
00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:37,031
I just think it's horrible
of her, and I think that...
391
00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,039
she doesn't care about me
and she never did,
392
00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:42,027
or something like that.
393
00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:43,039
What a betrayal.
394
00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:47,030
You thin-lipped,
baby-killing,
395
00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:48,028
under-funded
pride parade!
396
00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:52,031
You book-burning gas chamber
with penis envy!
397
00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,042
-Commie!
-Fascist!
398
00:19:53,044 --> 00:19:55,039
-Faggot!!
-[ Gasps ]
399
00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:57,033
Whore!
400
00:19:59,026 --> 00:20:02,023
Well, that's all the time
we have today
401
00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:04,029
on "Open Fire
with Charlie Reeny."
402
00:20:04,031 --> 00:20:05,028
I'm Charlie Reeny
reminding you
403
00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:09,027
that the Second Amendment
is never going away.
404
00:20:09,029 --> 00:20:11,036
♪♪
405
00:20:11,038 --> 00:20:14,036
Man: And we're out.
406
00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:18,034
That was incredible.
That's the most fun
I've ever had in my life.
407
00:20:18,036 --> 00:20:20,026
-You're a genius.
-No, no, no.
408
00:20:20,028 --> 00:20:22,036
Youare a genius.
409
00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:26,021
Portia, is there anything
that maybe you would like to add
410
00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:30,036
that you think might be helpful
for the jury to hear today?
411
00:20:30,038 --> 00:20:33,026
Yes.
412
00:20:33,028 --> 00:20:35,032
I would like to add...
413
00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:38,025
that while I was coerced
into burying the body,
414
00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:40,044
I sensed in her no remorse.
415
00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,040
She was hostile
416
00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:45,039
and, to be frank,
full of vitriol.
417
00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:48,024
Wow. So very traumatic.
418
00:20:48,026 --> 00:20:52,041
Your Honor, I --
I have no further questions.
419
00:20:53,039 --> 00:20:56,027
Miss Davenport.
420
00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:58,023
-Hi.
-Hi.
421
00:20:58,025 --> 00:20:59,037
Can I ask you a question?
422
00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:01,042
Do you wear contact lenses?
423
00:21:01,044 --> 00:21:02,039
I do.
424
00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:05,030
And what is your prescription
in each eye?
425
00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:08,035
My left eye is a six,
426
00:21:08,037 --> 00:21:10,025
and my right eye,
I believe, is a seven.
427
00:21:10,027 --> 00:21:14,038
Well, I'd like to do
a little eye test with you.
428
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,025
-You want take me -- these out?
-Yeah, take your contacts out.
429
00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:20,025
Take your time.
[ Both whispering indistinctly ]
430
00:21:20,027 --> 00:21:21,041
-Okay.
-Excuse me!
431
00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:23,021
-No, shh!
-Miss Diamond and Miss Sief,
432
00:21:23,023 --> 00:21:26,029
you're distracting
your own defense.
433
00:21:26,031 --> 00:21:28,031
I am so sorry, Your Honor.
434
00:21:28,033 --> 00:21:30,033
Um, Bob?
435
00:21:30,035 --> 00:21:34,042
Oh. What?
436
00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,030
I know, but...
437
00:21:36,032 --> 00:21:39,023
[ Whispering ]
I want you to sit down and rest,
438
00:21:39,025 --> 00:21:40,029
and I'm gonna take over.
439
00:21:40,031 --> 00:21:42,022
Okay.
440
00:21:42,024 --> 00:21:47,021
I am so sorry
for this disruption, everyone.
441
00:21:47,023 --> 00:21:49,040
But I would just like to ask
the court stenographer
442
00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:53,035
if you could please read back
Portia's earlier statement
443
00:21:53,037 --> 00:21:56,037
regarding my client's
behavior toward her
444
00:21:56,039 --> 00:21:58,044
the night of the alleged burial.
445
00:21:59,022 --> 00:22:01,034
Stenographer: "While I was
coerced into burying the body,
446
00:22:01,036 --> 00:22:04,026
I sensed in her no remorse.
She was hostile
447
00:22:04,028 --> 00:22:08,038
and, to be frank,
full of vitriol."
448
00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,023
Mm.
449
00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,033
Mm. [ Smacking lips ]
450
00:22:13,035 --> 00:22:16,040
That's -- That's a word.
451
00:22:16,042 --> 00:22:18,036
I need to use that word
more often.
452
00:22:18,038 --> 00:22:20,028
Do you use
that word a lot?
453
00:22:20,030 --> 00:22:21,041
Yeah, I...
454
00:22:21,043 --> 00:22:23,027
personally feel like
it is just very important
455
00:22:23,029 --> 00:22:26,039
as a woman
to have a diverse vocabulary.
456
00:22:26,041 --> 00:22:29,041
Would you be a dear
and would you define it
457
00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:32,032
for some of the members
of the jury
458
00:22:32,034 --> 00:22:36,035
who might not be
very familiar with it?
459
00:22:36,037 --> 00:22:39,026
Mm-hmm. I can.
460
00:22:39,028 --> 00:22:41,031
It's, um...
461
00:22:41,033 --> 00:22:43,027
Uh -- Well, it would be,
like --
462
00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:46,036
V-Vitriol,
the definition of vitriol.
463
00:22:46,038 --> 00:22:48,039
It is something
that you are very full of.
464
00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:50,026
It's a quality.
465
00:22:50,028 --> 00:22:53,035
It's a -- And it's
a negative quality.
466
00:22:53,037 --> 00:22:56,031
Wow. Could you put it
in a sentence for me?
467
00:22:56,033 --> 00:22:57,034
Mm-hmm. Yes.
468
00:22:57,036 --> 00:22:59,027
Um, let me think.
469
00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:01,028
Uh, I have one.
470
00:23:01,030 --> 00:23:04,038
Um, "Dory was full
of vitriol."
471
00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,030
Oh, new sentence,
please.
472
00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:13,037
Some people are always
full of vitriol.
473
00:23:13,039 --> 00:23:18,031
Mm, that's a suspiciously
similar sentence.
474
00:23:18,033 --> 00:23:19,026
You know, and it kind of
makes me wonder
475
00:23:19,028 --> 00:23:24,041
who would use a word
like "vitriol."
476
00:23:24,043 --> 00:23:26,037
Dare I say it was
coached into you?
477
00:23:26,039 --> 00:23:29,029
Is that true?
478
00:23:29,031 --> 00:23:31,044
What? No.
I don't know.
479
00:23:32,022 --> 00:23:34,034
I didn't, like, come up
with that word.
480
00:23:34,036 --> 00:23:36,038
But I could tell you
probably what it means.
481
00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,022
This feels very mean!
482
00:23:38,024 --> 00:23:40,038
Yeah, I would be interested
to go back and see
483
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:44,023
how often in the transcript
of your confession
484
00:23:44,025 --> 00:23:47,039
with the police,
did you come up with the details
485
00:23:47,041 --> 00:23:50,037
or did the police
get really creative?
486
00:23:50,039 --> 00:23:52,022
Better question,
487
00:23:52,024 --> 00:23:53,043
is your baby-blue existence
in this courtroom
488
00:23:54,021 --> 00:23:56,034
due to the fact that you were
coerced by the police
489
00:23:56,036 --> 00:23:58,021
into agreeing
with the fabricated lies?
490
00:23:58,023 --> 00:24:00,041
-Objection.
-Sustained.
491
00:24:00,043 --> 00:24:03,027
That's okay.
Don't worry, Polly.
492
00:24:03,029 --> 00:24:07,024
I'm finished, because it's clear
to everyone in this courtroom
493
00:24:07,026 --> 00:24:08,035
what's going on right about now.
494
00:24:08,037 --> 00:24:11,035
[ Whispering ]
You coached her.
495
00:24:11,037 --> 00:24:13,044
-Thank you.
-You're welcome.
496
00:24:17,024 --> 00:24:26,026
♪♪
497
00:24:26,028 --> 00:24:29,038
[ Crunch, glass clinking ]
498
00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,042
[ Whimpering ]
499
00:24:30,044 --> 00:24:32,035
[ Screaming ]
500
00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:35,029
Mom!
501
00:24:35,031 --> 00:24:37,031
Help! Mommy!
502
00:24:37,033 --> 00:24:40,038
[ Camera shutter clicking ]
503
00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,022
[ Continues screaming ]
504
00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:44,036
[ Continues screaming ]
♪ Did I ♪
505
00:24:44,038 --> 00:24:45,036
♪ Hear you screaming? ♪
506
00:24:45,038 --> 00:24:48,042
Mommy, help me, please! Mommy!
♪ Did I see ♪
507
00:24:48,044 --> 00:24:52,034
♪ You dancing? ♪
508
00:24:52,036 --> 00:24:54,022
♪ Did you see ♪
509
00:24:54,024 --> 00:24:57,038
♪ That boy crying? ♪
510
00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,027
♪ I saw him ♪
511
00:25:00,029 --> 00:25:02,041
♪ I'm not laughing ♪
36350
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