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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:05,037 --> 00:00:06,035 Hey, guys. It's me. 2 00:00:06,037 --> 00:00:09,028 So, tomorrow begins the trial of the millennium. 3 00:00:09,030 --> 00:00:12,029 It's pretty obvious that Gory Dory is guilty, 4 00:00:12,031 --> 00:00:14,040 so why are we even having this trial? 5 00:00:14,042 --> 00:00:16,024 She should be in jail! 6 00:00:16,026 --> 00:00:18,035 And not to be sexist, but she's pretty ugly, 7 00:00:18,037 --> 00:00:21,031 and she looks like a liberal. 8 00:00:21,033 --> 00:00:24,042 And I'll be interested to see if she ever shuts up! 9 00:00:24,044 --> 00:00:31,027 ♪♪ 10 00:00:31,029 --> 00:00:38,035 ♪♪ 11 00:00:38,037 --> 00:00:43,028 ♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪ 12 00:00:43,030 --> 00:00:46,035 So, this is what I was thinking for the first day. 13 00:00:46,037 --> 00:00:50,022 It's super professional, and it matches 14 00:00:50,024 --> 00:00:53,033 with this suit for Drew! 15 00:00:53,035 --> 00:00:55,044 Yeah, I just feel like, you know, we're gonna look like 16 00:00:56,022 --> 00:00:59,031 some sort of brother-sister cartoon freaks if we match. 17 00:00:59,033 --> 00:01:01,036 You know what, Cassidy? Why don't we take 18 00:01:01,038 --> 00:01:03,036 the responsibility off your shoulders 19 00:01:03,038 --> 00:01:05,035 of dressing us up like little dolls 20 00:01:05,037 --> 00:01:07,040 and focus on your opening statement, 21 00:01:07,042 --> 00:01:11,028 which I, for one, would love to hear. 22 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:12,024 Mm. [ Chuckles ] 23 00:01:12,026 --> 00:01:15,041 Well, this is about us coaching you, 24 00:01:15,043 --> 00:01:17,030 not the other way around. 25 00:01:17,032 --> 00:01:20,036 What's the big deal? 26 00:01:20,038 --> 00:01:21,035 Let's just hear your statement. 27 00:01:21,037 --> 00:01:24,028 Are you not prepared? 28 00:01:24,030 --> 00:01:25,037 Maybe I just don't like being put on the spot. 29 00:01:25,039 --> 00:01:28,025 Well, that's what court is. 30 00:01:28,027 --> 00:01:28,033 Right? 31 00:01:28,035 --> 00:01:31,031 So, come on. 32 00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:34,024 Practice. 33 00:01:34,026 --> 00:01:36,027 Fine. 34 00:01:36,029 --> 00:01:38,037 Okay. Oh, God. 35 00:01:38,039 --> 00:01:42,042 So, imagine, if you will, 36 00:01:42,044 --> 00:01:46,031 a little girl on a playground... 37 00:01:46,033 --> 00:01:48,022 swinging on a swing. 38 00:01:48,024 --> 00:01:50,022 Okay, um, I'm sorry, I hate this. 39 00:01:50,024 --> 00:01:53,029 It's not cheesy, but it just feels like it is, 40 00:01:53,031 --> 00:01:54,032 because I feel like I'm under a microscope, 41 00:01:54,034 --> 00:01:57,030 in my own home. 42 00:01:58,035 --> 00:02:03,038 Um, and then there were these small changes in her persona-- 43 00:02:03,040 --> 00:02:05,025 Sorry, I'm just gonna take that line again. 44 00:02:05,027 --> 00:02:10,028 Um, and after that, I noticed changes in her person-- 45 00:02:10,030 --> 00:02:11,026 I'm sorry. I'm just in my head. 46 00:02:11,028 --> 00:02:13,042 I'm usually so amazing at learning lines. 47 00:02:13,044 --> 00:02:16,044 I just -- It's just very weird playing myself. 48 00:02:17,022 --> 00:02:19,037 Totally. But remember, you don't have to be perfect up there. 49 00:02:19,039 --> 00:02:20,031 You're a human being. 50 00:02:20,033 --> 00:02:22,034 You have every right to be nervous. 51 00:02:22,036 --> 00:02:24,042 Well, it kind of does have to be perfect, alright? 52 00:02:24,044 --> 00:02:27,022 So, you know, I guess I would just ask 53 00:02:27,024 --> 00:02:31,041 for you to just deal with the pressure. 54 00:02:31,043 --> 00:02:34,028 Okay. 55 00:02:34,036 --> 00:02:37,026 Hey, gang. 56 00:02:37,028 --> 00:02:40,031 We're gearing up for a long, hard battle, 57 00:02:40,033 --> 00:02:43,030 and the one gift we can give ourselves is sleep. 58 00:02:43,032 --> 00:02:44,044 Sleep. 59 00:02:45,022 --> 00:02:48,036 Uh, thanks, Bob. Have a good night. 60 00:02:48,038 --> 00:02:53,034 You know, my best friend died five years ago and... 61 00:02:53,036 --> 00:02:56,038 changed the course of my life. 62 00:02:56,040 --> 00:03:00,027 I'm sorry to hear about your friend, Bob. 63 00:03:00,029 --> 00:03:03,021 Life. Live it. 64 00:03:03,023 --> 00:03:04,039 Exploit it. 65 00:03:04,041 --> 00:03:06,027 Take it by the neck and choke it. 66 00:03:06,029 --> 00:03:10,039 You get out of this mess, you guys are gonna be so lucky. 67 00:03:10,041 --> 00:03:13,031 And when you are, do something. 68 00:03:13,033 --> 00:03:15,040 Change the world. 69 00:03:15,042 --> 00:03:21,041 Or just, you know, sit back and make some cash, at least. 70 00:03:21,043 --> 00:03:23,025 Good night. 71 00:03:30,042 --> 00:03:34,021 Charlie! Hi! [ Chuckles ] 72 00:03:34,023 --> 00:03:35,027 Oh, I'm so sorry. 73 00:03:35,029 --> 00:03:36,022 Um, I'm a guest on Charlie Reeny's show. 74 00:03:36,024 --> 00:03:37,036 Do you know where I can find her? 75 00:03:37,038 --> 00:03:40,034 Elliott Goss. 76 00:03:40,036 --> 00:03:43,025 [ Chuckling ] Hi! 77 00:03:43,027 --> 00:03:44,035 Oh, my goodness! 78 00:03:44,037 --> 00:03:46,022 Hello! 79 00:03:46,024 --> 00:03:47,032 How are you?! 80 00:03:47,034 --> 00:03:49,044 I'm glad you finally decided to come on my show. 81 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:50,044 Oh, well, thank you so much for having me. 82 00:03:51,022 --> 00:03:53,036 I've seen enough clips of your show to know 83 00:03:53,038 --> 00:03:55,036 that you don't often have the gay coastal elite 84 00:03:55,038 --> 00:03:58,040 on as guests, so... 85 00:03:58,042 --> 00:04:00,029 I always like to ask before we start, 86 00:04:00,031 --> 00:04:01,026 are there any no-fly zones? 87 00:04:01,028 --> 00:04:03,038 I try and respect my guests' privacy. 88 00:04:03,040 --> 00:04:06,028 Yes. Um, I tend to be very quiet about my failures, 89 00:04:06,030 --> 00:04:10,021 so if you don't mind, please don't mention my book deal, 90 00:04:10,023 --> 00:04:11,029 which recently crumbled. 91 00:04:11,031 --> 00:04:13,036 I'm just here to discuss my friends, so... 92 00:04:13,038 --> 00:04:14,037 -Loud and clear. -Cool. 93 00:04:14,039 --> 00:04:17,025 Well, I haven't gotten into hair and makeup yet, 94 00:04:17,027 --> 00:04:19,024 so I'll see you on set. 95 00:04:19,026 --> 00:04:20,022 Okay. 96 00:04:20,024 --> 00:04:21,037 This is so fun! 97 00:04:21,039 --> 00:04:23,040 Thank y-- 98 00:04:23,042 --> 00:04:25,026 Where do I go? 99 00:04:25,028 --> 00:04:27,026 [ All clamoring indistinctly ] 100 00:04:27,028 --> 00:04:28,042 Oh, my God. 101 00:04:28,044 --> 00:04:31,036 Gory Dory, are you a cold-blooded killer?! 102 00:04:31,038 --> 00:04:33,035 Drew, did she make you do it?! 103 00:04:33,037 --> 00:04:34,041 Get back! Nothing, nothing! 104 00:04:34,043 --> 00:04:38,027 [ All shouting indistinctly ] 105 00:04:38,029 --> 00:04:39,033 Get away from me, you animals! 106 00:04:39,035 --> 00:04:40,043 Get back! 107 00:04:41,021 --> 00:04:45,022 Girl: I love you, Drew! 108 00:04:45,024 --> 00:04:48,031 Please rise. 109 00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:50,021 The United States District Court 110 00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:52,034 for the Southern District of New York is now in session. 111 00:04:52,036 --> 00:04:55,037 The Honorable Judge Xavier Hellerman presiding. 112 00:05:03,031 --> 00:05:06,042 Please be seated. 113 00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:08,041 This is the United States 114 00:05:08,043 --> 00:05:12,030 vs. Dory Sief and Drew Gardner. 115 00:05:12,032 --> 00:05:14,042 Counsel, are you ready to proceed? 116 00:05:14,044 --> 00:05:15,041 -Yes. -Yes. 117 00:05:15,043 --> 00:05:19,031 Deputy, let's invite the jury. 118 00:05:24,036 --> 00:05:29,038 ♪♪ 119 00:05:29,040 --> 00:05:31,034 [ Whispering ] Dory... 120 00:05:31,036 --> 00:05:33,041 I'm really scared. 121 00:05:40,036 --> 00:05:42,022 Before we begin, may I just relay to the court 122 00:05:42,024 --> 00:05:45,028 that I was recently diagnosed 123 00:05:45,030 --> 00:05:48,036 with a very rare autoimmune condition 124 00:05:48,038 --> 00:05:51,022 called Poppy Gillies disease, 125 00:05:51,024 --> 00:05:53,027 which gravely affects my metabolism. 126 00:05:53,029 --> 00:05:56,032 There may be times in this courtroom 127 00:05:56,034 --> 00:05:59,030 when I may be continuously snacking, 128 00:05:59,032 --> 00:06:02,024 as my life depends on it. 129 00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:09,024 I now ask the prosecution to give their opening statement. 130 00:06:11,025 --> 00:06:12,039 Good morning. 131 00:06:12,041 --> 00:06:15,023 Day one... 132 00:06:15,025 --> 00:06:18,044 of many, of many. 133 00:06:19,022 --> 00:06:20,038 Well, you know what? I'd like to start 134 00:06:20,040 --> 00:06:23,044 by painting you a little picture. 135 00:06:24,022 --> 00:06:26,023 It's a cool... 136 00:06:26,025 --> 00:06:30,024 breezy May afternoon. 137 00:06:30,026 --> 00:06:34,040 And a little girl sits on the swings, on the playground. 138 00:06:34,042 --> 00:06:38,024 Only this little girl doesn't feel like playing today. 139 00:06:38,026 --> 00:06:41,033 Something inside of her knows... 140 00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:43,038 that somewhere in Montreal, 141 00:06:43,040 --> 00:06:47,030 just five hours north of where she sits, 142 00:06:47,032 --> 00:06:49,044 her father, Keith Isaac Powell, 143 00:06:50,022 --> 00:06:52,028 is being violently murdered 144 00:06:52,030 --> 00:06:58,021 by a young, attractive, privileged couple. 145 00:06:58,023 --> 00:07:02,033 This man did not deserve to die, 146 00:07:02,035 --> 00:07:07,030 especially at the hands of a couple of Millennials 147 00:07:07,032 --> 00:07:10,033 looking for a thrill-kill! 148 00:07:10,035 --> 00:07:13,026 Dory Sief is an attractive woman, all right? 149 00:07:13,028 --> 00:07:16,040 But with that attractiveness came sexual confidence. 150 00:07:16,042 --> 00:07:20,029 Mm. Sounds good. 151 00:07:20,031 --> 00:07:24,034 But that turned into sexual deviance. 152 00:07:24,036 --> 00:07:29,031 She revealed to her... submissive boyfriend 153 00:07:29,033 --> 00:07:31,040 that she was having an affair 154 00:07:31,042 --> 00:07:35,036 and then coerced him to just dutifully abandon all morality 155 00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:38,022 just to satisfy her. 156 00:07:38,024 --> 00:07:39,040 [ Sighs ] 157 00:07:39,042 --> 00:07:43,026 And we have undeniable proof 158 00:07:43,028 --> 00:07:46,032 against that privileged couple. 159 00:07:46,034 --> 00:07:48,035 Proof that they were in Montreal 160 00:07:48,037 --> 00:07:51,042 on the grounds where Keith was murdered. 161 00:07:51,044 --> 00:07:53,032 Hair samples, fingerprints, 162 00:07:53,034 --> 00:07:57,030 such extensive DNA from the crime scene. 163 00:07:57,032 --> 00:07:58,042 We have so much evidence, 164 00:07:58,044 --> 00:08:03,041 that, frankly, you're gonna get real tired of it. 165 00:08:03,043 --> 00:08:05,040 If we allow these two 166 00:08:05,042 --> 00:08:08,026 morally repugnant abusers of privilege off, 167 00:08:08,028 --> 00:08:10,036 well, you know what you're doing? 168 00:08:10,038 --> 00:08:13,041 You're letting an entire generation off. 169 00:08:13,043 --> 00:08:17,027 If we enable this entitlement 170 00:08:17,029 --> 00:08:20,026 to the degree of murder, 171 00:08:20,028 --> 00:08:21,037 I ask you, 172 00:08:21,039 --> 00:08:25,031 what kind of world are our children growing up in? 173 00:08:25,033 --> 00:08:27,029 ♪♪ 174 00:08:27,031 --> 00:08:29,030 And, more importantly... 175 00:08:29,032 --> 00:08:31,025 ♪♪ 176 00:08:31,027 --> 00:08:34,028 ...what kind of world do you want to live in? 177 00:08:34,030 --> 00:08:36,040 Oh, my God! 178 00:08:36,042 --> 00:08:39,043 -[ Groaning ] -Can we get some paper towels! 179 00:08:42,026 --> 00:08:44,032 Mm-hmm. 180 00:08:44,034 --> 00:08:47,030 I, too, feel sick. 181 00:08:47,032 --> 00:08:48,032 -Oh. -Here. 182 00:08:48,034 --> 00:08:49,038 This is bad. 183 00:08:49,040 --> 00:08:51,023 This is so bad. 184 00:08:51,025 --> 00:08:53,031 -All right. -Ugh! 185 00:08:53,033 --> 00:08:55,031 Oh, God. I'm so sorry. 186 00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,029 Yeah, I'm so sorry. 187 00:08:57,031 --> 00:08:59,027 I'm so sorry. 188 00:09:01,033 --> 00:09:04,025 Uh, just want to say sorry. 189 00:09:04,027 --> 00:09:06,029 I'm so sorry. 190 00:09:06,031 --> 00:09:10,039 Now for the defense's opening statements. 191 00:09:14,022 --> 00:09:16,022 Okay. 192 00:09:24,040 --> 00:09:27,039 Good afternoon, everyone. 193 00:09:27,041 --> 00:09:30,039 Members of the jury... 194 00:09:30,041 --> 00:09:34,037 fellow attorneys, et al. Umm... 195 00:09:34,039 --> 00:09:38,029 In an unpredictable coincidence, 196 00:09:38,031 --> 00:09:40,031 my opening statement also began 197 00:09:40,033 --> 00:09:44,024 with imagery of a young girl on a playground. 198 00:09:44,026 --> 00:09:46,030 It was different, but not different enough 199 00:09:46,032 --> 00:09:51,041 for me to want to still do it, so... 200 00:09:51,043 --> 00:09:55,033 Um, here comes some improvisation, 201 00:09:55,035 --> 00:09:57,028 so... 202 00:09:57,030 --> 00:10:00,025 Hmph. 203 00:10:00,027 --> 00:10:06,025 This question is for the ladies in the room! 204 00:10:06,027 --> 00:10:07,029 Have you ever felt, 205 00:10:07,031 --> 00:10:10,042 while walking down the street at night, 206 00:10:10,044 --> 00:10:15,042 that there was someone behind you, watching you? 207 00:10:15,044 --> 00:10:17,037 I'm sure you've had this experience. 208 00:10:17,039 --> 00:10:25,021 And I know for a fact that my client Dory Sief has. 209 00:10:25,023 --> 00:10:28,023 She was trying to make the world a better place. 210 00:10:28,025 --> 00:10:30,031 She was trying to be a good person. 211 00:10:30,033 --> 00:10:33,029 She was actually trying to save her friend 212 00:10:33,031 --> 00:10:34,042 Chantal Witherbottom, 213 00:10:34,044 --> 00:10:39,026 who, to her knowledge, was in serious trouble. 214 00:10:39,028 --> 00:10:41,029 Now, along the way, she met a man, 215 00:10:41,031 --> 00:10:45,042 "Keith Powell," whom she befriended. 216 00:10:45,044 --> 00:10:50,034 Mr. Powell developed feelings for my client, 217 00:10:50,036 --> 00:10:52,022 which she indulged 218 00:10:52,024 --> 00:10:55,043 with the permission of her understanding boyfriend. 219 00:10:56,021 --> 00:10:58,039 However, when the time came 220 00:10:58,041 --> 00:11:02,022 for Dory to end things with Keith, 221 00:11:02,024 --> 00:11:04,031 he did not take it well. 222 00:11:04,033 --> 00:11:08,031 He put a tracking device on her phone 223 00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:10,037 and followed her to Montreal 224 00:11:10,039 --> 00:11:14,030 in a dangerous fit. 225 00:11:14,032 --> 00:11:18,025 So it's obvious that the question then becomes 226 00:11:18,027 --> 00:11:20,031 who followed Keith to Montreal 227 00:11:20,033 --> 00:11:24,035 and committed this terrible crime? 228 00:11:24,037 --> 00:11:28,034 My client is not a murderer. 229 00:11:28,036 --> 00:11:30,040 She is a victim. 230 00:11:30,042 --> 00:11:32,044 She is a victim of circumstance, 231 00:11:33,022 --> 00:11:35,027 and she is a victim of the patriarchy, 232 00:11:35,029 --> 00:11:38,022 as are we all. 233 00:11:38,024 --> 00:11:40,030 Mr. Powell was an immoral predator 234 00:11:40,032 --> 00:11:43,039 who wanted to harass my client. 235 00:11:43,041 --> 00:11:47,021 And I'm proud of her for not retaliating 236 00:11:47,023 --> 00:11:49,035 in the face of that harassment. 237 00:11:49,037 --> 00:11:51,027 I'm proud of her for not even being aware 238 00:11:51,029 --> 00:11:53,044 of his murder at all. 239 00:11:54,022 --> 00:11:58,024 And I am proud of her 240 00:11:58,026 --> 00:12:01,021 for being a resilient, brave, 241 00:12:01,023 --> 00:12:03,044 modern woman. 242 00:12:04,022 --> 00:12:08,022 Thank you. 243 00:12:08,024 --> 00:12:11,038 And thank you...all. 244 00:12:22,027 --> 00:12:23,024 What? 245 00:12:23,026 --> 00:12:25,040 Man: Camera. And we're back from commercial 246 00:12:25,042 --> 00:12:28,036 in 3, 2, 1. 247 00:12:28,038 --> 00:12:31,039 Hi. You're watching "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 248 00:12:31,041 --> 00:12:33,022 My name is Charlie Reeny, 249 00:12:33,024 --> 00:12:35,024 and I have a hot show for you today. 250 00:12:35,026 --> 00:12:38,023 It's the first day of trial in the Gory Dory murder case, 251 00:12:38,025 --> 00:12:40,022 and joining me today is lifelong friend 252 00:12:40,024 --> 00:12:42,029 of the murderous couple, defense witness 253 00:12:42,031 --> 00:12:45,021 and gay rights activist Elliott Goss. 254 00:12:45,023 --> 00:12:48,023 [ Chuckles ] Uh, I wouldn't necessarily call myself that. 255 00:12:48,025 --> 00:12:50,021 I'm certainly a friend of the movement, 256 00:12:50,023 --> 00:12:52,026 but I've never been to a march in my life. 257 00:12:52,028 --> 00:12:54,041 So, Elliott, before we get into how you and your friends 258 00:12:54,043 --> 00:12:57,024 represent absolutely everything that's wrong 259 00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,036 -with young liberals... -Mm. 260 00:12:58,038 --> 00:13:02,022 ...I wanted to give you a chance to plug your book. 261 00:13:08,025 --> 00:13:10,034 Okay. [ Chuckles ] 262 00:13:10,036 --> 00:13:12,021 What's shocking? 263 00:13:12,023 --> 00:13:13,042 The fact that you squandered the only chance you had 264 00:13:13,044 --> 00:13:16,033 at a real career by having writer's block, 265 00:13:16,035 --> 00:13:21,026 or the fact that my producer's niece can draw this well? 266 00:13:21,028 --> 00:13:22,030 I know what I was trying to say, 267 00:13:22,032 --> 00:13:24,042 and it's that that is not my book. 268 00:13:24,044 --> 00:13:27,022 -It looks just like you. -Well, it's not my book. 269 00:13:27,024 --> 00:13:28,027 And I didn't write -- It's -- It's -- 270 00:13:28,029 --> 00:13:31,026 Blond hair, blue eyes? 271 00:13:33,028 --> 00:13:33,038 My turn. 272 00:13:33,040 --> 00:13:37,034 Help me up, please. 273 00:13:37,036 --> 00:13:40,043 Ohh! Whew! 274 00:13:41,021 --> 00:13:43,044 Ladies and gentlemen of the jury. 275 00:13:44,022 --> 00:13:46,028 Your Honor. 276 00:13:46,030 --> 00:13:50,033 Cassidy brought up some very interesting points 277 00:13:50,035 --> 00:13:51,033 that I'm sure resonate 278 00:13:51,035 --> 00:13:56,029 with many people around the world. 279 00:13:56,031 --> 00:14:00,039 The prosecution, well, what was she talking about? 280 00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:02,031 I tried to follow it. 281 00:14:02,033 --> 00:14:05,021 I don't know what she was saying. 282 00:14:05,023 --> 00:14:07,027 They both told stories, 283 00:14:07,029 --> 00:14:10,034 but I am gonna talk about the evidence, 284 00:14:10,036 --> 00:14:13,035 because if there's one thing I'm completely confident of 285 00:14:13,037 --> 00:14:19,028 is that my client, Eddie, is innocent. 286 00:14:19,030 --> 00:14:21,037 [ Whispering ] Eddie?! Who's Eddie? 287 00:14:21,039 --> 00:14:23,022 Oh, uh -- 288 00:14:23,024 --> 00:14:25,021 It's -- Bob, it's Drew. 289 00:14:25,023 --> 00:14:26,035 Drew! Drew! 290 00:14:26,037 --> 00:14:28,042 Drew is innocent. 291 00:14:28,044 --> 00:14:31,024 [ Chuckles ] 292 00:14:31,026 --> 00:14:33,031 Do you ever have one of those days? 293 00:14:34,029 --> 00:14:42,028 ♪♪ 294 00:14:42,030 --> 00:14:50,032 ♪♪ 295 00:14:50,034 --> 00:14:58,034 ♪♪ 296 00:14:58,036 --> 00:15:06,036 ♪♪ 297 00:15:10,027 --> 00:15:11,036 Charlie: You cannot hire any women taller than me. 298 00:15:11,038 --> 00:15:13,037 End of discussion. She's 5'7". I'm 5'6". 299 00:15:13,039 --> 00:15:15,032 Do the fuckin' work. 300 00:15:15,034 --> 00:15:16,043 Are you okay? 301 00:15:17,021 --> 00:15:18,041 You look beat up. 302 00:15:18,043 --> 00:15:21,033 I'm sorry. I just didn't quite expect this from you, 303 00:15:21,035 --> 00:15:23,033 not as a guest in your own house. 304 00:15:23,035 --> 00:15:25,033 Babe, that's the game. 305 00:15:25,035 --> 00:15:27,027 Do you like watching polite TV? No. 306 00:15:27,029 --> 00:15:28,033 [ Chuckles ] You like watching good TV. 307 00:15:28,035 --> 00:15:33,032 Man: And we're back in 3, 2, 1. 308 00:15:33,034 --> 00:15:36,026 Welcome back to "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 309 00:15:36,028 --> 00:15:37,039 I'm your host, Charlie Reeny. And joining me today 310 00:15:37,041 --> 00:15:41,042 is the man who helped his friends bury a body, 311 00:15:41,044 --> 00:15:43,021 Elliott Goss. 312 00:15:43,023 --> 00:15:44,029 [ Sniffs ] 313 00:15:44,031 --> 00:15:45,037 I'm sorry. 314 00:15:45,039 --> 00:15:47,037 -Did you fart? -What? 315 00:15:47,039 --> 00:15:50,035 [ Chuckling ] Oh, my God! 316 00:15:50,037 --> 00:15:53,021 I can't believe that much smell came out of you. 317 00:15:53,023 --> 00:15:55,029 I mean, you are too tiny to make that much smell. 318 00:15:55,031 --> 00:15:55,042 It's sick! 319 00:15:55,044 --> 00:15:58,022 People, I didn't fart. 320 00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,026 Oh, God. Oh, God. 321 00:16:00,028 --> 00:16:02,034 Yeah, you guys -- Right? You, too? 322 00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:03,031 Yeah, even the producers can smell it. 323 00:16:03,033 --> 00:16:05,034 It's thatdisgusting. 324 00:16:05,036 --> 00:16:08,029 Did you -- Oh, my God. 325 00:16:08,031 --> 00:16:11,021 Did you eat an old ostrich egg? 326 00:16:11,023 --> 00:16:12,034 I don't fart! 327 00:16:12,036 --> 00:16:14,032 I don't fart! 328 00:16:16,029 --> 00:16:19,034 Your Honor, I would like to call the witness 329 00:16:19,036 --> 00:16:23,030 Portia Davenport to the stand, please. 330 00:16:26,032 --> 00:16:29,035 [ Spectators murmur ] 331 00:16:48,037 --> 00:16:50,030 Raise your right hand. 332 00:16:50,032 --> 00:16:51,038 Do you swear or affirm 333 00:16:51,040 --> 00:16:52,039 that the testimony you are about to give 334 00:16:52,041 --> 00:16:55,039 will be the truth, the whole truth, 335 00:16:55,041 --> 00:16:56,030 and nothing but the truth? 336 00:16:56,032 --> 00:16:58,031 Yes, I-I do. 337 00:16:58,033 --> 00:17:00,039 -Please be seated. -Okay. 338 00:17:02,037 --> 00:17:05,029 -Good morning. -Good morning. 339 00:17:05,031 --> 00:17:08,023 How is it that you, uh, know 340 00:17:08,025 --> 00:17:11,030 the defendants, Dory Sief and Drew Gardner? 341 00:17:11,032 --> 00:17:13,022 Um, well, I met Dory in college. 342 00:17:13,024 --> 00:17:16,027 [ Chuckling ] And it's actually a funny story. 343 00:17:16,029 --> 00:17:17,023 It always makes me laugh. 344 00:17:17,025 --> 00:17:19,035 It's way too long to tell you guys, 345 00:17:19,037 --> 00:17:21,027 but I'll just say that it involves 346 00:17:21,029 --> 00:17:24,038 me locking myself out of my dorm room totally naked 347 00:17:24,040 --> 00:17:27,034 and then having to wait in Dory's dorm room 348 00:17:27,036 --> 00:17:31,024 until someone unlocked mine. 349 00:17:31,026 --> 00:17:33,041 And, actually, that is the entire story. 350 00:17:33,043 --> 00:17:35,041 And then she met Drew, 351 00:17:35,043 --> 00:17:36,042 and we all became good buds. 352 00:17:36,044 --> 00:17:39,028 But they weren't very good buds 353 00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:43,039 on the night of May 26th, now, were they? 354 00:17:43,041 --> 00:17:44,044 No. 355 00:17:45,022 --> 00:17:47,042 In a testimony that you made to police, 356 00:17:47,044 --> 00:17:49,027 you stated, 357 00:17:49,029 --> 00:17:52,036 Quote: "I stopped dry-humping with the Frenchman 358 00:17:52,038 --> 00:17:55,042 and went downstairs to get a glass of water. 359 00:17:55,044 --> 00:17:57,044 When I got to the kitchen, I discovered my friends 360 00:17:58,022 --> 00:18:03,030 stuffing Keith's body into a zebra-print suitcase. 361 00:18:03,032 --> 00:18:07,026 They convinced me to bury the suitcase with them. 362 00:18:07,028 --> 00:18:10,029 I still have nightmares every night." 363 00:18:10,031 --> 00:18:13,041 Do you still stand by this statement, Portia? 364 00:18:13,043 --> 00:18:15,021 Yes, I do. 365 00:18:15,023 --> 00:18:16,037 Now, you've known Dory intimately 366 00:18:16,039 --> 00:18:19,035 for a long time, would you say? 367 00:18:19,037 --> 00:18:22,021 How would you describe her? 368 00:18:22,023 --> 00:18:25,021 Well, my answer is kind of changing lately. 369 00:18:25,023 --> 00:18:30,033 Um, but if you had asked me before all this, 370 00:18:30,035 --> 00:18:32,026 oh, man. 371 00:18:32,028 --> 00:18:33,038 I would say Dory is so nice. 372 00:18:33,040 --> 00:18:35,041 And she's such a good friend 373 00:18:35,043 --> 00:18:40,024 and very creative and introspective. 374 00:18:40,026 --> 00:18:44,031 But how would you describe her now? 375 00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:48,029 [ Voice breaking ] I don't really know what's real 376 00:18:48,031 --> 00:18:50,021 and what's not real with her. 377 00:18:50,023 --> 00:18:54,024 After this whole era, it's sort of my opinion 378 00:18:54,026 --> 00:18:55,023 that she really resents 379 00:18:55,025 --> 00:18:59,022 that she just doesn't have a sense of self. 380 00:18:59,024 --> 00:19:01,042 And now that I'm sitting here thinking about it, 381 00:19:01,044 --> 00:19:05,030 I didn't ever want to even look for Chantal. 382 00:19:05,032 --> 00:19:08,022 I just did it because I loved my friend, 383 00:19:08,024 --> 00:19:14,022 and I was very worried about her mental health, 384 00:19:14,024 --> 00:19:17,022 and I wanted to be a good friend. 385 00:19:17,024 --> 00:19:19,022 But then it kept getting bigger and bigger, 386 00:19:19,024 --> 00:19:23,021 and she just dragged me into these problems 387 00:19:23,023 --> 00:19:27,024 that I don't think I deserved to be dragged into. 388 00:19:27,026 --> 00:19:30,023 And then Keith dies, and it's like 389 00:19:30,025 --> 00:19:32,031 she could have kept me out of it, and she just didn't. 390 00:19:32,033 --> 00:19:37,031 I just think it's horrible of her, and I think that... 391 00:19:37,033 --> 00:19:39,039 she doesn't care about me and she never did, 392 00:19:39,041 --> 00:19:42,027 or something like that. 393 00:19:42,029 --> 00:19:43,039 What a betrayal. 394 00:19:43,041 --> 00:19:47,030 You thin-lipped, baby-killing, 395 00:19:47,032 --> 00:19:48,028 under-funded pride parade! 396 00:19:48,030 --> 00:19:52,031 You book-burning gas chamber with penis envy! 397 00:19:52,033 --> 00:19:53,042 -Commie! -Fascist! 398 00:19:53,044 --> 00:19:55,039 -Faggot!! -[ Gasps ] 399 00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:57,033 Whore! 400 00:19:59,026 --> 00:20:02,023 Well, that's all the time we have today 401 00:20:02,025 --> 00:20:04,029 on "Open Fire with Charlie Reeny." 402 00:20:04,031 --> 00:20:05,028 I'm Charlie Reeny reminding you 403 00:20:05,030 --> 00:20:09,027 that the Second Amendment is never going away. 404 00:20:09,029 --> 00:20:11,036 ♪♪ 405 00:20:11,038 --> 00:20:14,036 Man: And we're out. 406 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:18,034 That was incredible. That's the most fun I've ever had in my life. 407 00:20:18,036 --> 00:20:20,026 -You're a genius. -No, no, no. 408 00:20:20,028 --> 00:20:22,036 Youare a genius. 409 00:20:22,038 --> 00:20:26,021 Portia, is there anything that maybe you would like to add 410 00:20:26,023 --> 00:20:30,036 that you think might be helpful for the jury to hear today? 411 00:20:30,038 --> 00:20:33,026 Yes. 412 00:20:33,028 --> 00:20:35,032 I would like to add... 413 00:20:35,034 --> 00:20:38,025 that while I was coerced into burying the body, 414 00:20:38,027 --> 00:20:40,044 I sensed in her no remorse. 415 00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:42,040 She was hostile 416 00:20:42,042 --> 00:20:45,039 and, to be frank, full of vitriol. 417 00:20:45,041 --> 00:20:48,024 Wow. So very traumatic. 418 00:20:48,026 --> 00:20:52,041 Your Honor, I -- I have no further questions. 419 00:20:53,039 --> 00:20:56,027 Miss Davenport. 420 00:20:56,029 --> 00:20:58,023 -Hi. -Hi. 421 00:20:58,025 --> 00:20:59,037 Can I ask you a question? 422 00:20:59,039 --> 00:21:01,042 Do you wear contact lenses? 423 00:21:01,044 --> 00:21:02,039 I do. 424 00:21:02,041 --> 00:21:05,030 And what is your prescription in each eye? 425 00:21:05,032 --> 00:21:08,035 My left eye is a six, 426 00:21:08,037 --> 00:21:10,025 and my right eye, I believe, is a seven. 427 00:21:10,027 --> 00:21:14,038 Well, I'd like to do a little eye test with you. 428 00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:17,025 -You want take me -- these out? -Yeah, take your contacts out. 429 00:21:17,027 --> 00:21:20,025 Take your time. [ Both whispering indistinctly ] 430 00:21:20,027 --> 00:21:21,041 -Okay. -Excuse me! 431 00:21:21,043 --> 00:21:23,021 -No, shh! -Miss Diamond and Miss Sief, 432 00:21:23,023 --> 00:21:26,029 you're distracting your own defense. 433 00:21:26,031 --> 00:21:28,031 I am so sorry, Your Honor. 434 00:21:28,033 --> 00:21:30,033 Um, Bob? 435 00:21:30,035 --> 00:21:34,042 Oh. What? 436 00:21:34,044 --> 00:21:36,030 I know, but... 437 00:21:36,032 --> 00:21:39,023 [ Whispering ] I want you to sit down and rest, 438 00:21:39,025 --> 00:21:40,029 and I'm gonna take over. 439 00:21:40,031 --> 00:21:42,022 Okay. 440 00:21:42,024 --> 00:21:47,021 I am so sorry for this disruption, everyone. 441 00:21:47,023 --> 00:21:49,040 But I would just like to ask the court stenographer 442 00:21:49,042 --> 00:21:53,035 if you could please read back Portia's earlier statement 443 00:21:53,037 --> 00:21:56,037 regarding my client's behavior toward her 444 00:21:56,039 --> 00:21:58,044 the night of the alleged burial. 445 00:21:59,022 --> 00:22:01,034 Stenographer: "While I was coerced into burying the body, 446 00:22:01,036 --> 00:22:04,026 I sensed in her no remorse. She was hostile 447 00:22:04,028 --> 00:22:08,038 and, to be frank, full of vitriol." 448 00:22:08,040 --> 00:22:11,023 Mm. 449 00:22:11,025 --> 00:22:13,033 Mm. [ Smacking lips ] 450 00:22:13,035 --> 00:22:16,040 That's -- That's a word. 451 00:22:16,042 --> 00:22:18,036 I need to use that word more often. 452 00:22:18,038 --> 00:22:20,028 Do you use that word a lot? 453 00:22:20,030 --> 00:22:21,041 Yeah, I... 454 00:22:21,043 --> 00:22:23,027 personally feel like it is just very important 455 00:22:23,029 --> 00:22:26,039 as a woman to have a diverse vocabulary. 456 00:22:26,041 --> 00:22:29,041 Would you be a dear and would you define it 457 00:22:29,043 --> 00:22:32,032 for some of the members of the jury 458 00:22:32,034 --> 00:22:36,035 who might not be very familiar with it? 459 00:22:36,037 --> 00:22:39,026 Mm-hmm. I can. 460 00:22:39,028 --> 00:22:41,031 It's, um... 461 00:22:41,033 --> 00:22:43,027 Uh -- Well, it would be, like -- 462 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:46,036 V-Vitriol, the definition of vitriol. 463 00:22:46,038 --> 00:22:48,039 It is something that you are very full of. 464 00:22:48,041 --> 00:22:50,026 It's a quality. 465 00:22:50,028 --> 00:22:53,035 It's a -- And it's a negative quality. 466 00:22:53,037 --> 00:22:56,031 Wow. Could you put it in a sentence for me? 467 00:22:56,033 --> 00:22:57,034 Mm-hmm. Yes. 468 00:22:57,036 --> 00:22:59,027 Um, let me think. 469 00:22:59,029 --> 00:23:01,028 Uh, I have one. 470 00:23:01,030 --> 00:23:04,038 Um, "Dory was full of vitriol." 471 00:23:04,040 --> 00:23:07,030 Oh, new sentence, please. 472 00:23:10,022 --> 00:23:13,037 Some people are always full of vitriol. 473 00:23:13,039 --> 00:23:18,031 Mm, that's a suspiciously similar sentence. 474 00:23:18,033 --> 00:23:19,026 You know, and it kind of makes me wonder 475 00:23:19,028 --> 00:23:24,041 who would use a word like "vitriol." 476 00:23:24,043 --> 00:23:26,037 Dare I say it was coached into you? 477 00:23:26,039 --> 00:23:29,029 Is that true? 478 00:23:29,031 --> 00:23:31,044 What? No. I don't know. 479 00:23:32,022 --> 00:23:34,034 I didn't, like, come up with that word. 480 00:23:34,036 --> 00:23:36,038 But I could tell you probably what it means. 481 00:23:36,040 --> 00:23:38,022 This feels very mean! 482 00:23:38,024 --> 00:23:40,038 Yeah, I would be interested to go back and see 483 00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:44,023 how often in the transcript of your confession 484 00:23:44,025 --> 00:23:47,039 with the police, did you come up with the details 485 00:23:47,041 --> 00:23:50,037 or did the police get really creative? 486 00:23:50,039 --> 00:23:52,022 Better question, 487 00:23:52,024 --> 00:23:53,043 is your baby-blue existence in this courtroom 488 00:23:54,021 --> 00:23:56,034 due to the fact that you were coerced by the police 489 00:23:56,036 --> 00:23:58,021 into agreeing with the fabricated lies? 490 00:23:58,023 --> 00:24:00,041 -Objection. -Sustained. 491 00:24:00,043 --> 00:24:03,027 That's okay. Don't worry, Polly. 492 00:24:03,029 --> 00:24:07,024 I'm finished, because it's clear to everyone in this courtroom 493 00:24:07,026 --> 00:24:08,035 what's going on right about now. 494 00:24:08,037 --> 00:24:11,035 [ Whispering ] You coached her. 495 00:24:11,037 --> 00:24:13,044 -Thank you. -You're welcome. 496 00:24:17,024 --> 00:24:26,026 ♪♪ 497 00:24:26,028 --> 00:24:29,038 [ Crunch, glass clinking ] 498 00:24:29,040 --> 00:24:30,042 [ Whimpering ] 499 00:24:30,044 --> 00:24:32,035 [ Screaming ] 500 00:24:32,037 --> 00:24:35,029 Mom! 501 00:24:35,031 --> 00:24:37,031 Help! Mommy! 502 00:24:37,033 --> 00:24:40,038 [ Camera shutter clicking ] 503 00:24:40,040 --> 00:24:42,022 [ Continues screaming ] 504 00:24:42,024 --> 00:24:44,036 [ Continues screaming ] ♪ Did I ♪ 505 00:24:44,038 --> 00:24:45,036 ♪ Hear you screaming? ♪ 506 00:24:45,038 --> 00:24:48,042 Mommy, help me, please! Mommy! ♪ Did I see ♪ 507 00:24:48,044 --> 00:24:52,034 ♪ You dancing? ♪ 508 00:24:52,036 --> 00:24:54,022 ♪ Did you see ♪ 509 00:24:54,024 --> 00:24:57,038 ♪ That boy crying? ♪ 510 00:24:57,040 --> 00:25:00,027 ♪ I saw him ♪ 511 00:25:00,029 --> 00:25:02,041 ♪ I'm not laughing ♪ 36350

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