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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,041 --> 00:00:06,044 A Brooklyn romance gone wrong 2 00:00:07,022 --> 00:00:09,030 as lovebirds Dory Sief and Drew Gardner 3 00:00:09,032 --> 00:00:11,042 have been charged with murder and become tabloid pariahs 4 00:00:11,044 --> 00:00:14,038 in a case that's amassed international attention 5 00:00:14,040 --> 00:00:18,027 for its unusually stylish perpetrators 6 00:00:18,029 --> 00:00:20,035 and the mountains of evidence against them. 7 00:00:20,037 --> 00:00:23,044 The best friend is saying that she helped them bury the body. 8 00:00:24,022 --> 00:00:24,043 I mean, personally, I'm a huge fan. 9 00:00:25,021 --> 00:00:28,034 I love, like, a shameless homage to the '70s, 10 00:00:28,036 --> 00:00:31,025 that sort of Bushwick culture. I'm all in. 11 00:00:31,027 --> 00:00:32,032 He's a cutie, though. 12 00:00:32,034 --> 00:00:33,035 [ Laughter ] I see why she likes him. 13 00:00:33,037 --> 00:00:36,032 See, she's like me. She likes a tall man like an oak tree. 14 00:00:36,034 --> 00:00:39,023 She can climb to the top 15 00:00:39,025 --> 00:00:41,022 and then slide all the way down. 16 00:00:41,024 --> 00:00:42,036 [ Women laughing, cheering ] 17 00:00:42,038 --> 00:00:45,023 Could these two seemingly charming hipsters 18 00:00:45,025 --> 00:00:47,035 be cold-blooded murderers? 19 00:00:47,037 --> 00:00:48,044 You be the judge. 20 00:00:49,022 --> 00:00:52,028 ♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪ 21 00:00:52,030 --> 00:00:53,023 ♪ Watch fluent seamen rig their rudders ♪ 22 00:00:53,025 --> 00:00:54,043 El, I did everything you said to do. 23 00:00:55,021 --> 00:00:58,027 I listened to you. I asked for a lawyer, 24 00:00:58,029 --> 00:01:00,028 and then I get there, and they were all, like, you know, 25 00:01:00,030 --> 00:01:01,042 asking me questions willy-nilly. 26 00:01:01,044 --> 00:01:04,040 It's like, what am I supposed to do, just not answer? 27 00:01:04,042 --> 00:01:06,042 It would've been so quiet and awkward, El. 28 00:01:06,044 --> 00:01:08,037 You know, I don't really understand what happened, 29 00:01:08,039 --> 00:01:09,031 -Portia. -What? 30 00:01:09,033 --> 00:01:11,028 You literally signed a document 31 00:01:11,030 --> 00:01:13,035 that set you free and screwed over everyone else. 32 00:01:13,037 --> 00:01:15,037 What is gonna happen to me now? 33 00:01:15,039 --> 00:01:17,044 That's the good thing. Nothing's gonna happen to you, 34 00:01:18,022 --> 00:01:19,028 because I asked, and they said 35 00:01:19,030 --> 00:01:19,044 you're not worth pressing charges over. 36 00:01:20,022 --> 00:01:21,043 But my reputation, Portia! 37 00:01:22,021 --> 00:01:25,025 But your reputation was already bad! 38 00:01:25,027 --> 00:01:27,040 But that was my choice. This is so much worse, okay? 39 00:01:27,042 --> 00:01:30,021 Now everyone's really gonna think 40 00:01:30,023 --> 00:01:31,031 I helped my friends bury a body. 41 00:01:31,033 --> 00:01:34,032 You did bury a body, Elliott! 42 00:01:35,027 --> 00:01:39,030 That was way below the belt, Portia. 43 00:01:39,032 --> 00:01:41,031 And now it's your word against mine in a court of law 44 00:01:41,033 --> 00:01:44,024 when we should be a united front. 45 00:01:44,026 --> 00:01:46,032 But we are a united front. 46 00:01:46,034 --> 00:01:48,030 I'm gonna go be with my family -- 47 00:01:48,032 --> 00:01:50,029 people who really love me and wouldn't betray me 48 00:01:50,031 --> 00:01:52,023 in the way that you have. 49 00:01:52,025 --> 00:01:54,036 ♪♪ 50 00:01:54,038 --> 00:01:57,039 [ Door opens, slams ] 51 00:01:57,041 --> 00:01:59,037 [ Clatter ] 52 00:01:59,039 --> 00:02:01,033 ♪♪ 53 00:02:01,035 --> 00:02:04,033 Cassidy: But you have every right to be so mad at Portia, 54 00:02:04,035 --> 00:02:06,041 and I know it's tempting to share that with the world, 55 00:02:06,043 --> 00:02:10,026 but for now, I think it's best to keep a low profile. 56 00:02:10,028 --> 00:02:11,036 Yeah, the only thing is, is, like, 57 00:02:11,038 --> 00:02:14,026 I'm going a little stir-crazy here, okay? 58 00:02:14,028 --> 00:02:15,027 'Cause there's, like, a moat of paparazzi, 59 00:02:15,029 --> 00:02:19,042 like, outside of my apartment, and I swear to God 60 00:02:19,044 --> 00:02:22,022 they are coming in here at night, Cassidy, 61 00:02:22,024 --> 00:02:23,022 and they're stealing my shoes. 62 00:02:23,024 --> 00:02:25,030 -They're not doing that. -Yes, they are. 63 00:02:25,032 --> 00:02:29,030 I've lost like four pairs of Keds in the last two weeks. 64 00:02:29,032 --> 00:02:32,022 Have you ever lost that many shoes at that rate? 65 00:02:32,036 --> 00:02:34,041 Reid. Reid. 66 00:02:34,043 --> 00:02:36,027 -Hey. -Hey, buddy. 67 00:02:36,029 --> 00:02:37,024 Hey, okay, I'm feeling kind of weird about this. 68 00:02:37,026 --> 00:02:39,031 Can't you just tell me what you're up to? 69 00:02:39,033 --> 00:02:40,024 Yeah, it's really better if I don't. 70 00:02:40,026 --> 00:02:41,022 Okay, and maybe I'm paranoid. 71 00:02:41,024 --> 00:02:43,035 It's just that there's something in my past 72 00:02:43,037 --> 00:02:44,034 I want to make sure stays in my past. 73 00:02:44,036 --> 00:02:46,036 Okay, well, if you get caught, you have to say 74 00:02:46,038 --> 00:02:48,027 you stole all this stuff from me. Mom and Dad are gonna 75 00:02:48,029 --> 00:02:49,023 kill me if they find out I helped you with this. 76 00:02:49,025 --> 00:02:51,044 Reid, you're not gonna get in trouble. 77 00:02:52,022 --> 00:02:55,027 Okay. Driver's license, debit card, 78 00:02:55,029 --> 00:02:56,038 -and two plane tickets. -Thank you. 79 00:02:56,040 --> 00:02:58,028 [ Exhales sharply ] Okay, great. 80 00:02:58,030 --> 00:02:59,043 I really, really appreciate this. 81 00:03:00,021 --> 00:03:01,024 Okay. Good to see you. 82 00:03:01,026 --> 00:03:03,034 -Be careful. -Okay, yeah. You, too. 83 00:03:03,036 --> 00:03:05,023 Portia flipped, I'm gonna have to testify now, 84 00:03:05,025 --> 00:03:08,031 and all I want to do is have lunch with my family 85 00:03:08,033 --> 00:03:11,032 and plan my wedding, you know, without all this noise. 86 00:03:11,034 --> 00:03:13,043 I mean, it's supposed to be the happiest time of my life, 87 00:03:14,021 --> 00:03:16,043 and, I'm sorry, but I just want to ignore this entire mess 88 00:03:17,021 --> 00:03:19,027 and do what any country does in unstable times -- 89 00:03:19,029 --> 00:03:21,026 plan a big, gorgeous wedding. 90 00:03:21,028 --> 00:03:22,035 [ Both chuckle ] 91 00:03:22,037 --> 00:03:23,023 Oh! 92 00:03:23,025 --> 00:03:24,043 -Ah, Mommy! -Hi. 93 00:03:25,021 --> 00:03:26,029 How are you? [ Laughter ] 94 00:03:26,031 --> 00:03:29,022 -Oh, good to see you. -Ah, you, too. 95 00:03:29,024 --> 00:03:29,044 Oh. 96 00:03:30,022 --> 00:03:31,030 -Daddy! -Ah, there he is. 97 00:03:31,032 --> 00:03:32,026 -Oh. -Hey. Oh, my God. 98 00:03:32,028 --> 00:03:34,031 Sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit, sit. 99 00:03:34,033 --> 00:03:36,044 -My goodness. -Oh. 100 00:03:37,022 --> 00:03:38,023 Look at you two fiancés. 101 00:03:38,025 --> 00:03:41,036 [ Laughter ] Does anyone else hear that? 102 00:03:41,038 --> 00:03:43,028 Is that wedding bells ringing? 103 00:03:43,030 --> 00:03:46,037 -[ Laughing ] No. -[ Laughing ] Wallace! 104 00:03:46,039 --> 00:03:49,033 Wedding bells. Oh, I am so sorry we're so late. 105 00:03:49,035 --> 00:03:51,026 The butlers got into a jealous fight, 106 00:03:51,028 --> 00:03:52,043 and I had to break them up. 107 00:03:53,021 --> 00:03:53,043 Can you believe that? 108 00:03:54,021 --> 00:03:57,039 Grown men fighting about who should draw our baths. 109 00:03:57,041 --> 00:03:59,025 Mommy, don't brag about butlers. 110 00:03:59,027 --> 00:04:02,035 Elliott, don't talk to your mother that way. 111 00:04:02,037 --> 00:04:04,030 We've earned butlers. 112 00:04:04,032 --> 00:04:06,033 I know. I'm sorry. I just -- 113 00:04:06,035 --> 00:04:08,027 You know, a lot's going on right now, so... 114 00:04:08,029 --> 00:04:11,033 Ah, I understand how stressful it's been. 115 00:04:11,035 --> 00:04:13,025 You know, I don't want to talk about this anymore. 116 00:04:13,027 --> 00:04:16,044 I want to talk about things I understand -- 117 00:04:17,022 --> 00:04:19,022 love. I would like to make a toast. 118 00:04:19,024 --> 00:04:23,025 -Oh, I love that. -Oh, Mommy, this is -- 119 00:04:23,027 --> 00:04:26,027 When Elliott came out, 120 00:04:26,029 --> 00:04:28,030 I thought, "Well, 121 00:04:28,032 --> 00:04:29,043 there goes football season." 122 00:04:30,021 --> 00:04:32,026 [ Laughter ] 123 00:04:32,028 --> 00:04:34,030 -And the Goss legacy. -[ Chuckles ] 124 00:04:34,032 --> 00:04:36,029 I wasn't the best mother in that moment. 125 00:04:36,031 --> 00:04:41,033 I thought being gay meant a life of sex addiction 126 00:04:41,035 --> 00:04:45,025 and lubricants and loneliness. 127 00:04:45,027 --> 00:04:48,041 And I'm not too proud to admit now 128 00:04:48,043 --> 00:04:50,033 that I was wrong. 129 00:04:50,035 --> 00:04:52,030 And I still haven't quite forgiven myself, 130 00:04:52,032 --> 00:04:55,022 especially because 131 00:04:55,024 --> 00:04:58,033 I just adore you, Marc. 132 00:04:58,035 --> 00:05:00,028 Aww, Audra. 133 00:05:00,030 --> 00:05:01,041 -She's gonna make me cry. -Oh. 134 00:05:01,043 --> 00:05:06,022 You've taught me that gay means "happy." 135 00:05:06,024 --> 00:05:06,039 That's right. Yes. 136 00:05:06,041 --> 00:05:09,041 And it does. Gay means "happy," 137 00:05:09,043 --> 00:05:13,043 and I see how gay you make my son. 138 00:05:14,021 --> 00:05:18,030 And it just fills my heart with so much joy. 139 00:05:18,032 --> 00:05:22,032 And I just -- I want to thank you for marrying my son. 140 00:05:22,034 --> 00:05:24,022 -[ Sighs ] -To a big, blond family. 141 00:05:24,024 --> 00:05:27,033 To a big, blond family. [ Laughter ] 142 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:29,028 Beautiful, Mom. 143 00:05:29,036 --> 00:05:36,022 ♪♪ 144 00:05:36,024 --> 00:05:37,029 Oh, hi. 145 00:05:37,031 --> 00:05:38,030 -[ Chuckling ] Hi. -June. 146 00:05:38,032 --> 00:05:42,024 How'd you know it was me and not my twin, April? 147 00:05:42,026 --> 00:05:43,035 Have we met? 148 00:05:43,037 --> 00:05:44,037 Uh, y-- uh, yeah. 149 00:05:44,039 --> 00:05:46,025 Yes, yes, I-I think we have. 150 00:05:46,027 --> 00:05:47,039 [ Both chuckle ] 151 00:05:47,041 --> 00:05:50,035 Um, uh, I'm sorry. This is not really a great time. 152 00:05:50,037 --> 00:05:51,042 I was just leaving to, um -- to go to the gym. 153 00:05:51,044 --> 00:05:54,032 It's kind of an emergency. 154 00:05:54,034 --> 00:05:56,023 Have you seen April? 155 00:05:56,025 --> 00:05:59,023 She's been gone for a while, and... 156 00:05:59,025 --> 00:06:02,027 I have a scary feeling about it. 157 00:06:02,029 --> 00:06:04,027 ♪♪ 158 00:06:04,029 --> 00:06:05,044 No. 159 00:06:06,022 --> 00:06:09,032 No, I can't say that I've seen her in quite a while. 160 00:06:09,034 --> 00:06:10,037 Tell her, Dory. 161 00:06:10,039 --> 00:06:13,042 Tell her that you killed the only family member she ever had. 162 00:06:13,044 --> 00:06:15,027 The last thing she texted me 163 00:06:15,029 --> 00:06:19,035 was that she found the money for my heart transplant. 164 00:06:19,037 --> 00:06:21,024 Oh, my goodness. 165 00:06:21,026 --> 00:06:21,041 Oh, my heart's just too big. 166 00:06:21,043 --> 00:06:23,023 It always has been. 167 00:06:23,025 --> 00:06:26,029 It's a ticking time bomb. [ Chuckles ] 168 00:06:26,031 --> 00:06:28,027 I'm really sorry to hear that. 169 00:06:28,029 --> 00:06:31,028 Well, if you know any information, 170 00:06:31,030 --> 00:06:33,032 even if you think it's not important 171 00:06:33,034 --> 00:06:36,025 but you get a little ping, call me. 172 00:06:36,027 --> 00:06:38,038 -Here's my number. -Here's my number. 173 00:06:38,040 --> 00:06:40,044 Okay. Absolutely. 174 00:06:41,022 --> 00:06:43,023 -Well, thank you, -Well, thank you, 175 00:06:43,025 --> 00:06:45,040 -and have a really wonderful day -and have a really wonderful day 176 00:06:45,042 --> 00:06:47,044 -and an incredible workout. -and an incredible workout. 177 00:06:48,022 --> 00:06:49,043 [ Chuckles ] 178 00:06:59,033 --> 00:07:02,026 Julian. 179 00:07:02,028 --> 00:07:03,037 Senator Ferguson? 180 00:07:03,039 --> 00:07:06,030 Get in. 181 00:07:10,042 --> 00:07:13,038 I owe you an apology. 182 00:07:13,040 --> 00:07:16,021 Do you remember those photos I sent you, 183 00:07:16,023 --> 00:07:19,031 the ones of my bare torso 184 00:07:19,033 --> 00:07:20,041 and my, um, inner thighs? 185 00:07:20,043 --> 00:07:23,029 Mm-hmm. Yep, yep. 186 00:07:23,031 --> 00:07:25,029 Listen, you met me at a very difficult time in my life, 187 00:07:25,031 --> 00:07:28,029 and that was completely out of character. 188 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:30,025 And I want to make things right. 189 00:07:30,027 --> 00:07:33,041 I just need your phone. 190 00:07:33,043 --> 00:07:35,029 I don't have it. I've lost my phone. 191 00:07:35,031 --> 00:07:39,042 I-I can look for it, see if it turns up somewhere. 192 00:07:39,044 --> 00:07:41,026 We're friends, Julian, so I'm asking nicely, 193 00:07:41,028 --> 00:07:43,039 but I have to go back to Washington, 194 00:07:43,041 --> 00:07:46,028 and my friends there might not be so gracious. 195 00:07:46,030 --> 00:07:48,038 They might not even ask. They might just kick your teeth in. 196 00:07:48,040 --> 00:07:52,027 [ Chuckles ] Who knows? I never said I was psychic. 197 00:07:52,029 --> 00:07:54,030 Anyway, good luck. 198 00:07:54,032 --> 00:07:57,038 [ Twin Caverns' "The Crown" plays ] 199 00:07:57,040 --> 00:07:59,026 [ Reporters clamoring ] 200 00:07:59,028 --> 00:08:00,030 Man: Dory, what do you think 201 00:08:00,032 --> 00:08:02,022 about Portia's statement to the police? 202 00:08:02,024 --> 00:08:03,030 No comment. 203 00:08:03,032 --> 00:08:04,036 Man #2: You headed to the gym? 204 00:08:04,038 --> 00:08:06,031 Want to tell us which one? 205 00:08:06,033 --> 00:08:07,038 Sorry, boys. 206 00:08:07,040 --> 00:08:10,042 Man #3: Come on, Dory. One for your fans. 207 00:08:10,044 --> 00:08:11,030 [ Chuckles ] 208 00:08:11,032 --> 00:08:15,031 ♪ Carry apart ♪ 209 00:08:15,033 --> 00:08:18,040 ♪ My wooden heart ♪ 210 00:08:18,042 --> 00:08:23,023 ♪ Saves unbroken wings ♪ 211 00:08:23,025 --> 00:08:27,025 ♪ From hell ♪ 212 00:08:27,027 --> 00:08:36,043 ♪♪ 213 00:08:37,021 --> 00:08:37,037 Hey, there, sir. How are you? 214 00:08:37,039 --> 00:08:39,036 I'm, uh, just in the neighborhood, 215 00:08:39,038 --> 00:08:40,042 kind of going door to door, 216 00:08:40,044 --> 00:08:43,028 talking to people about renewable coal, 217 00:08:43,030 --> 00:08:46,023 and, um... 218 00:08:46,025 --> 00:08:48,022 Wait. I'm sorry. 219 00:08:48,024 --> 00:08:49,043 Uh, Chris Jason? 220 00:08:50,021 --> 00:08:50,034 [ Chuckles ] Oh, my God. 221 00:08:50,036 --> 00:08:52,022 From Sundown Middle School? 222 00:08:52,024 --> 00:08:53,027 -Huh? -Oh, my God. 223 00:08:53,029 --> 00:08:56,038 Uh, it's Drew Gardner. Do you remember, man? 224 00:08:56,040 --> 00:08:58,027 We hung out for like a month together back in the day. 225 00:08:58,029 --> 00:09:01,027 It was like -- must've been 18 years ago. 226 00:09:01,029 --> 00:09:04,022 Oh, yeah. What the the hell, man? Yeah! 227 00:09:04,024 --> 00:09:06,027 -What the the hell, man? -Yeah. Yeah, yeah. 228 00:09:06,029 --> 00:09:07,041 Look, so, yeah, what -- I-I-I don't -- 229 00:09:07,043 --> 00:09:09,023 I don't want to do whatever you're selling 230 00:09:09,025 --> 00:09:11,044 or whatever you want me to do, okay? Okay, yeah, no, just -- 231 00:09:12,022 --> 00:09:15,022 [ Stammering ] Whoa, I'm sorry. Kind of burst in there. 232 00:09:15,024 --> 00:09:16,032 Uh, yeah. Man, now I'm just thinking, like, 233 00:09:16,034 --> 00:09:20,040 we should catch up. M-Maybe I come in. Yeah. 234 00:09:20,042 --> 00:09:22,026 Uh, don't you have to, like, keep doing your job? 235 00:09:22,028 --> 00:09:25,031 Come on, man. You know jobs are wack. 236 00:09:25,033 --> 00:09:27,032 -Let me in. Come on. -All -- All right, yeah. 237 00:09:27,034 --> 00:09:30,028 -Yeah, cool. Awesome. -Okay. Yeah, yeah. 238 00:09:30,030 --> 00:09:33,038 Man, this is so cool to be in here. All right, cool. 239 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,027 Cassidy: Was it a surprise to learn 240 00:09:35,029 --> 00:09:36,033 that your friends were accused of murder? 241 00:09:36,035 --> 00:09:40,032 I mean, it was an absolute shock to my system, 242 00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:43,022 like, swirled up in a larger shock of life changes. 243 00:09:43,024 --> 00:09:45,021 Like, not only was I balancing the news 244 00:09:45,023 --> 00:09:47,040 that my, uh, best friends were being accused of murder. 245 00:09:47,042 --> 00:09:52,024 I was realizing that I needed to become a CEO overnight, 246 00:09:52,026 --> 00:09:54,028 and I also took a quiz online 247 00:09:54,030 --> 00:09:55,033 that made me realize I'm probably bipolar. 248 00:09:55,035 --> 00:10:01,029 So, to answer your question, yes, I'm in pain. 249 00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:06,038 Cassidy: So, what do we think about Chantal? 250 00:10:06,040 --> 00:10:09,021 And be perfectly honest, 251 00:10:09,023 --> 00:10:11,035 because your input will determine 252 00:10:11,037 --> 00:10:15,039 whether or not she's a witness in this high-profile trial. 253 00:10:17,031 --> 00:10:21,023 I'm sorry. Does she have a disease? 254 00:10:21,025 --> 00:10:23,041 I don't want to use insensitive language if she has a disease. 255 00:10:23,043 --> 00:10:27,025 I hate her. She's all shadow side. No light. 256 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:29,022 My first thought when she began speaking 257 00:10:29,024 --> 00:10:32,026 was, like, of -- of, like, sticky jelly on my fingers. 258 00:10:32,028 --> 00:10:33,031 -Oof. -I wish her the worst, 259 00:10:33,033 --> 00:10:36,022 and I hope it comes true ASAP. 260 00:10:36,024 --> 00:10:38,027 -She's definitely guilty. -Guilty and diseased. 261 00:10:38,029 --> 00:10:39,035 Okay, guys, but she's a witness. 262 00:10:39,037 --> 00:10:41,034 -So, get another witness. -Yeah, it's obvious. 263 00:10:41,036 --> 00:10:45,021 Okay, I can't get another -- I'm sorry. 264 00:10:45,023 --> 00:10:46,039 Um, I probably shouldn't be telling you this, 265 00:10:46,041 --> 00:10:51,039 but there's only like a handful of alibis, okay? 266 00:10:51,041 --> 00:10:55,034 There's Chantal, there's Elliott Goss, 267 00:10:55,036 --> 00:10:57,029 and then there's that hot French guy 268 00:10:57,031 --> 00:10:58,030 who died climbing the CN Tower in Toronto. 269 00:10:58,032 --> 00:11:01,036 So we have to bring her to the stand. 270 00:11:01,038 --> 00:11:02,038 You can't. 271 00:11:02,040 --> 00:11:03,041 We hate her. 272 00:11:03,043 --> 00:11:05,039 Shame on you. 273 00:11:06,044 --> 00:11:08,031 All right, uh, my wife has tried every dessert. 274 00:11:08,033 --> 00:11:10,026 I think it's time for a check. 275 00:11:10,028 --> 00:11:11,039 It's already been paid for 276 00:11:11,041 --> 00:11:17,039 by that heinous conservative pundit sitting over there. 277 00:11:17,041 --> 00:11:19,023 Oh, my God. That's Charlie Reeny. 278 00:11:19,025 --> 00:11:23,031 She's very controversial. 279 00:11:23,033 --> 00:11:24,027 Beautiful, though. 280 00:11:24,029 --> 00:11:26,023 Oh, my God. She's coming over here. 281 00:11:26,025 --> 00:11:27,023 -Are you sure? -She recognizes you-know-who. 282 00:11:27,025 --> 00:11:28,027 Oh, she's here. 283 00:11:28,029 --> 00:11:31,035 -Hi, family. -Hi. 284 00:11:31,037 --> 00:11:32,040 I paid for your lunch. 285 00:11:32,042 --> 00:11:34,044 Uh, we heard. Thank you. 286 00:11:35,022 --> 00:11:36,043 I suppose I owe you my firstborn? 287 00:11:37,021 --> 00:11:39,032 You can return the favor by coming on my show. 288 00:11:39,034 --> 00:11:40,033 As if. 289 00:11:40,035 --> 00:11:41,039 This is not an ambush. 290 00:11:41,041 --> 00:11:43,033 I just want to talk. [ Chuckles ] 291 00:11:43,035 --> 00:11:46,031 Everyone else wants to hear from Drew and Dory, but not me. 292 00:11:46,033 --> 00:11:48,023 I want to hear from you. 293 00:11:48,025 --> 00:11:49,031 I like that you're crazy. 294 00:11:49,033 --> 00:11:52,038 I'm sorry, but I cannot stomach your values. 295 00:11:52,040 --> 00:11:53,036 I resent everything you represent. 296 00:11:53,038 --> 00:11:57,030 Okay. If you change your mind, let me know. 297 00:11:57,032 --> 00:12:01,040 I have 2.7 million viewers who would love to get to know you. 298 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,024 [ Scoffs ] 299 00:12:07,026 --> 00:12:10,024 Can you imagine? [ Scoffs ] 300 00:12:10,026 --> 00:12:11,036 Marc: Let's talk flowers. 301 00:12:11,038 --> 00:12:13,036 Audra: Oh, my gosh. 302 00:12:13,038 --> 00:12:16,040 [ Bird Noire's "Ghost" plays ] 303 00:12:16,042 --> 00:12:20,023 [ Whines ] 304 00:12:20,025 --> 00:12:21,041 Do you have a charger? 305 00:12:21,043 --> 00:12:23,034 Do you have -- [ Whimpers ] 306 00:12:23,036 --> 00:12:24,026 Do you have a charger?! 307 00:12:24,028 --> 00:12:27,032 Does anyone have a charger? 308 00:12:27,034 --> 00:12:32,033 ♪♪ 309 00:12:32,035 --> 00:12:34,027 Oh. [ Chuckles ] Sorry. 310 00:12:34,029 --> 00:12:35,040 Y-You take that one. I'll take this one. 311 00:12:35,042 --> 00:12:37,033 -Okay, thanks. -Yeah. 312 00:12:37,035 --> 00:12:39,028 ♪♪ 313 00:12:39,030 --> 00:12:42,029 [ Treadmills beeping ] 314 00:12:42,031 --> 00:12:47,031 ♪♪ 315 00:12:47,033 --> 00:12:49,023 [ Scoffs ] 316 00:12:49,025 --> 00:12:52,041 Can you believe that? Some people are just plain vile. 317 00:12:52,043 --> 00:12:55,030 She's so guilty. Don't you think? 318 00:12:55,032 --> 00:12:57,038 -Uh, I don't know. -I've been reading up on it. 319 00:12:57,040 --> 00:12:59,023 The DNA's all over the body, 320 00:12:59,025 --> 00:13:00,044 and she was having an affair with him. 321 00:13:01,022 --> 00:13:02,033 -That's crazy. -Yeah. 322 00:13:02,035 --> 00:13:05,021 The only reason she's not already locked up for good 323 00:13:05,023 --> 00:13:06,027 is because she's pretty. 324 00:13:06,029 --> 00:13:08,026 If I ever met her in real life, 325 00:13:08,028 --> 00:13:11,040 I'd spit in her face. 326 00:13:11,042 --> 00:13:20,036 ♪♪ 327 00:13:20,038 --> 00:13:21,038 [ Treadmill beeps ] 328 00:13:21,040 --> 00:13:23,044 You tricked me, 329 00:13:24,022 --> 00:13:25,030 you little cum whore. 330 00:13:25,032 --> 00:13:27,025 If you don't get out of this gym right now, 331 00:13:27,027 --> 00:13:29,022 I will rinse your filthy, shitty little mouth out with dish soap. 332 00:13:29,024 --> 00:13:32,024 -Okay, I'm gonna leave. -I will not work out in a place 333 00:13:32,026 --> 00:13:33,039 where little murdering sluts break a sweat. 334 00:13:33,041 --> 00:13:35,036 Yeah, I'm -- I'm -- I'm trying to leave. It's just -- 335 00:13:35,038 --> 00:13:38,021 It's not working. 336 00:13:38,023 --> 00:13:39,044 Get out. Shoo! 337 00:13:40,022 --> 00:13:41,023 Shoo, you! Shoo, you! 338 00:13:41,025 --> 00:13:44,022 Get out, you bitch! Get out! 339 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:47,030 You get out, you little murdering whore! 340 00:13:47,032 --> 00:13:50,039 You slut! Pig Bitch. 341 00:13:50,041 --> 00:13:57,029 ♪♪ 342 00:13:57,031 --> 00:14:00,039 Ha! Ha! Could you imagine being a "Braveheart"? 343 00:14:00,041 --> 00:14:02,028 Just stabbing a horse, like, running -- 344 00:14:02,030 --> 00:14:04,041 Like, a horse shows up -- You stab it right in the belly? 345 00:14:04,043 --> 00:14:06,027 It's -- It's really cool 346 00:14:06,029 --> 00:14:08,031 because, like, you were into swords when you were little, 347 00:14:08,033 --> 00:14:09,032 and -- and it's really nice to see 348 00:14:09,034 --> 00:14:12,040 that your taste has-- hasn't changed, um, at all. 349 00:14:12,042 --> 00:14:14,043 Oh, my God. 350 00:14:15,021 --> 00:14:15,036 We should play that game. 351 00:14:15,038 --> 00:14:19,035 Remember, when we were kids? 352 00:14:19,037 --> 00:14:21,036 I don't. Guess you'll have to explain the game. The game? Come on. 353 00:14:21,038 --> 00:14:23,034 You have to get up. Get up. Come on. Okay, okay, I'm up, I'm up. 354 00:14:23,036 --> 00:14:25,028 Okay, I want you to get over here. Just -- 355 00:14:25,030 --> 00:14:26,043 -Oh, fuck. -Right there, okay? Just chill. 356 00:14:27,021 --> 00:14:30,022 -Oh, okay, okay, yes. -Easy, easy. 357 00:14:30,024 --> 00:14:32,025 Oh, yeah, this game. 358 00:14:34,025 --> 00:14:36,029 Pass out! 359 00:14:36,031 --> 00:14:38,040 -Come on! Pass out! -[ Groaning ] 360 00:14:38,042 --> 00:14:41,022 -[ Groaning ] -Oh, no! 361 00:14:41,024 --> 00:14:42,038 Dude, I almost got you. 362 00:14:42,040 --> 00:14:44,039 All right, come on. We got to at least do it until you pass out, 363 00:14:44,041 --> 00:14:46,034 or else it's pointless. Wait, wait, wait. No, no, wait wait, wait. 364 00:14:46,036 --> 00:14:47,032 -Come on! Come on, come on! -Wait, wait, wait, wait! No, no! 365 00:14:47,034 --> 00:14:50,029 -Chill! Chill! -What?! What?! 366 00:14:50,031 --> 00:14:52,044 Time out. 367 00:14:53,022 --> 00:14:54,025 Oh, man. 368 00:14:54,027 --> 00:14:55,044 You want to know what I was thinking? 369 00:14:56,022 --> 00:14:57,035 Do you remember those tapes that we made 370 00:14:57,037 --> 00:15:00,023 when -- when we were younger? Remember that? 371 00:15:00,025 --> 00:15:01,035 -Oh, yeah! -Those were so fun! 372 00:15:01,037 --> 00:15:05,027 -Do you have those? -Yeah, yeah. Uh, yeah, actually, 373 00:15:05,029 --> 00:15:06,026 I think I got a bunch of DVDs 374 00:15:06,028 --> 00:15:09,037 in the -- in the garage all boxed up from them. 375 00:15:09,039 --> 00:15:12,044 The one that I keep thinking about that I would love to see 376 00:15:13,022 --> 00:15:14,032 is that swan one. 377 00:15:14,034 --> 00:15:17,035 -[ Gasps ] Oh, my God! -Oh, yes! 378 00:15:17,037 --> 00:15:20,023 -Yes, my guy! Yes! -Yes -- Yes, my guy! 379 00:15:20,025 --> 00:15:22,027 -Yeah. -That was the funniest shit. 380 00:15:22,029 --> 00:15:23,037 -Really? -Yeah, I loved that. 381 00:15:23,039 --> 00:15:26,029 Oh, man, I thought you actually hated doing that. 382 00:15:26,031 --> 00:15:29,043 And I just remember that we stopped hanging out after that. 383 00:15:30,021 --> 00:15:31,026 -Yeah. -Oh. 384 00:15:31,028 --> 00:15:33,033 But if you want to see it, I can probably go find it. 385 00:15:33,035 --> 00:15:36,033 Go. Go find those tapes, you sick bastard! Okay, I'll -- I'll -- 386 00:15:36,035 --> 00:15:37,037 That's what's up! 387 00:15:37,039 --> 00:15:38,037 [ Grunts ] 388 00:15:38,039 --> 00:15:44,033 ♪ Jesus knows our every weakness ♪ 389 00:15:44,035 --> 00:15:50,032 ♪ Take it to the Lord ♪ 390 00:15:50,034 --> 00:16:00,037 ♪ In prayer ♪ ♪ The Lord in prayer ♪ 391 00:16:00,039 --> 00:16:02,034 Pastor: I'm always astounded by how many incredible singers 392 00:16:02,036 --> 00:16:04,027 we have in this congregation. 393 00:16:04,029 --> 00:16:09,030 As many of you know, this week marks the four-year anniversary 394 00:16:09,032 --> 00:16:13,026 of my family's bus crash. 395 00:16:13,028 --> 00:16:15,026 My entire family died, 396 00:16:15,028 --> 00:16:18,029 and yet I came out without a scratch. 397 00:16:18,031 --> 00:16:21,038 God wanted me to survive 398 00:16:21,040 --> 00:16:24,026 so that I could know the true meaning of abandonment. 399 00:16:24,028 --> 00:16:26,039 [ Gasps ] 400 00:16:26,041 --> 00:16:30,022 Does anyone here know what it feels like to be so alone 401 00:16:30,024 --> 00:16:34,038 that you feel like a little kid wandering the streets, 402 00:16:34,040 --> 00:16:38,032 sobbing to yourself? 403 00:16:38,034 --> 00:16:40,032 Yes. 404 00:16:42,032 --> 00:16:44,043 I don't think I recognize you, darling. 405 00:16:45,021 --> 00:16:47,023 Are you a new member? 406 00:16:47,025 --> 00:16:48,043 No, I'm not a member. 407 00:16:49,021 --> 00:16:51,027 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 408 00:16:51,029 --> 00:16:53,029 I didn't mean to interrupt church. 409 00:16:53,031 --> 00:16:56,026 Are you a believer? 410 00:16:56,028 --> 00:16:58,039 I don't know what I think. 411 00:16:58,041 --> 00:17:01,023 If I can be perfectly frank, 412 00:17:01,025 --> 00:17:03,039 I sense a longing in you. 413 00:17:03,041 --> 00:17:07,039 Why don't you come on up here, dear? 414 00:17:07,041 --> 00:17:10,040 [ Organ playing ] 415 00:17:10,042 --> 00:17:16,027 ♪♪ 416 00:17:16,029 --> 00:17:23,035 ♪♪ 417 00:17:23,037 --> 00:17:25,022 -You're a seeker. -[ Crying ] Yes. 418 00:17:25,024 --> 00:17:26,036 -You want answers. -Yes. 419 00:17:26,038 --> 00:17:30,029 You want something that can fill the hole in your heart. 420 00:17:30,031 --> 00:17:32,029 -Yes. -Do you want to know 421 00:17:32,031 --> 00:17:35,025 the everlasting love of Jesus Christ... 422 00:17:35,027 --> 00:17:37,034 -Yes! -...to know his glory 423 00:17:37,036 --> 00:17:39,040 and to join this congregation in eternal life? 424 00:17:39,042 --> 00:17:45,030 I do! I do! I do! I do! I do! 425 00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:51,022 Oh, this might be it. 426 00:17:58,028 --> 00:17:59,037 Young Chris: Come on! Go! 427 00:17:59,039 --> 00:18:00,040 [ Chuckles ] 428 00:18:00,042 --> 00:18:04,032 -There I am. -Are you rolling? 429 00:18:04,034 --> 00:18:06,037 Drew lost the duct-tape challenge again, 430 00:18:06,039 --> 00:18:09,035 so we're at, um, Two Swans Country Club, 431 00:18:09,037 --> 00:18:12,021 and he's gonna make sure that, after today, 432 00:18:12,023 --> 00:18:14,040 there's, um, only one swan. 433 00:18:14,042 --> 00:18:17,025 All right, give me the camera. 434 00:18:17,027 --> 00:18:18,040 And take this. 435 00:18:18,042 --> 00:18:20,029 [ Chuckles ] Young Drew: Come on, Chris. 436 00:18:20,031 --> 00:18:21,041 I don't know if I really want to do this. 437 00:18:21,043 --> 00:18:23,041 Boy: Don't be such a little pussy, Drew. 438 00:18:23,043 --> 00:18:28,021 Young Chris: Ah, he's being Drewbitch again. 439 00:18:28,023 --> 00:18:30,025 Drewbitch. Drewbitch. 440 00:18:30,027 --> 00:18:30,041 Drewbitch! Drewbitch! 441 00:18:30,043 --> 00:18:32,040 -[ Laughs ] -Drewbitch. 442 00:18:32,042 --> 00:18:34,041 There it is. [ Swan honks] 443 00:18:34,043 --> 00:18:36,044 Young Chris: Go, go, go! 444 00:18:37,022 --> 00:18:37,040 Yeah, chase it! 445 00:18:37,042 --> 00:18:41,026 -Yeah, do it. Come on. -Hit it! 446 00:18:41,028 --> 00:18:43,033 Come on! Don't be a pussy! 447 00:18:43,035 --> 00:18:44,033 Oh, my God. It's getting -- Remember? This is the part 448 00:18:44,035 --> 00:18:47,027 that's coming -- Oh, you're actually gonna do it! 449 00:18:47,029 --> 00:18:50,023 You're gonna do it! 450 00:18:50,025 --> 00:18:51,025 [ Swan honks] 451 00:18:51,027 --> 00:18:52,033 Oh! [ Laughs ] 452 00:18:52,035 --> 00:18:54,021 -Do it! Yeah! -God! 453 00:18:54,023 --> 00:18:57,039 Oh, you smashed the shit out of that swan! 454 00:18:57,041 --> 00:18:59,030 Oh, whoa. Oh, man. 455 00:18:59,032 --> 00:19:03,031 Yeah, that was good. Man, you'd do anything I told you to do. 456 00:19:03,033 --> 00:19:04,025 -Hey, babe. -Hey, babe. 457 00:19:04,027 --> 00:19:06,026 Hey, uh, this is my buddy, Drew, 458 00:19:06,028 --> 00:19:08,037 from middle school, and he sells coal now. 459 00:19:08,039 --> 00:19:10,042 This is Kelsey, my girlfriend. 460 00:19:10,044 --> 00:19:13,031 -Nice to meet you. -It's nice to meet you. 461 00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:15,025 Uh, can I talk to you for a second? 462 00:19:15,027 --> 00:19:16,030 Yeah, geez. 463 00:19:16,032 --> 00:19:18,034 What's up? 464 00:19:18,036 --> 00:19:21,023 [ Whispering indistinctly ] 465 00:19:23,034 --> 00:19:26,037 -Really? -[ Continues whispering ] 466 00:19:26,039 --> 00:19:29,031 [ Clicks tongue ] Hey, uh, dude? 467 00:19:29,033 --> 00:19:30,030 -Yeah? -You got to go. 468 00:19:30,032 --> 00:19:33,022 Why? I mean, we're having such a nice time. 469 00:19:33,024 --> 00:19:35,026 My God. He said get out. You're a frickin' killer, and 470 00:19:35,028 --> 00:19:36,025 I don't want you in my house, or I'm gonna call the cops. 471 00:19:36,027 --> 00:19:39,028 Okay, no, don't -- Don't call the cops, okay? 472 00:19:39,030 --> 00:19:41,029 Just, uh -- I'm leaving. 473 00:19:41,031 --> 00:19:43,027 Oh, God. Backpack. 474 00:19:43,029 --> 00:19:44,040 Chris, it was so nice to see you. 475 00:19:44,042 --> 00:19:48,027 I, um -- I'm gonna take this DVD, and then I'm gonna go. 476 00:19:48,029 --> 00:19:48,041 Chris, don't let him take our items. 477 00:19:48,043 --> 00:19:50,043 -That's ours. -Chris? 478 00:19:51,021 --> 00:19:52,028 I said get the fuck out! 479 00:19:52,030 --> 00:19:54,024 Okay, I'm gonna go. 480 00:19:54,026 --> 00:19:55,039 [ Breathing heavily ] 481 00:19:55,041 --> 00:19:56,043 Okay. Back up off of me! 482 00:19:57,021 --> 00:19:59,031 Oh, my God! Okay, okay, okay, Chris. 483 00:19:59,033 --> 00:20:00,034 -Chris, Chris, Chris. -Hey! Hey! Hey! 484 00:20:00,036 --> 00:20:02,039 -Is this the only copy?! -What? 485 00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:04,023 Is this the only copy 486 00:20:04,025 --> 00:20:05,036 -of the swan video? -Answer him. 487 00:20:05,038 --> 00:20:07,037 -Yeah, yeah, yeah! I don't know! -Chris, answer him! 488 00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:08,044 I don't know! Yeah, yeah, yeah. 489 00:20:09,022 --> 00:20:11,022 Okay. Is that piss? 490 00:20:11,024 --> 00:20:12,031 -No! -Aw, baby. 491 00:20:12,033 --> 00:20:13,037 -Back up! -Oh, my God! 492 00:20:13,039 --> 00:20:14,036 -Get back there. -Chris, Chris, Chris. 493 00:20:14,038 --> 00:20:18,024 Okay? If you call the police, I will kill you! 494 00:20:18,026 --> 00:20:19,036 -Do you understand? -Just leave! 495 00:20:19,038 --> 00:20:21,030 Get out of here! Take your DVD! Go! 496 00:20:21,032 --> 00:20:24,024 I'm not Drewbitch anymore! 497 00:20:24,026 --> 00:20:27,025 -What does that even mean? -Oh, God. I'm sorry. 498 00:20:27,027 --> 00:20:28,035 Oh, God. 499 00:20:28,037 --> 00:20:30,034 I'm sorry. 500 00:20:34,038 --> 00:20:36,043 Man: Here she comes. 501 00:20:37,021 --> 00:20:37,044 -Dory, Dory. -Dory. 502 00:20:38,022 --> 00:20:40,033 -How was your workout? -I'm just trying to go home. 503 00:20:40,035 --> 00:20:41,032 Don't you guys have something better to do? 504 00:20:41,034 --> 00:20:43,035 Do you kill all your boyfriends, or is this -- 505 00:20:43,037 --> 00:20:44,042 No, I do not. [ Grunts ] 506 00:20:44,044 --> 00:20:46,044 -Oh, no. Ohh! -[ Laughing ] Oh, man. 507 00:20:47,022 --> 00:20:49,028 Can you just give me some space so I can get my stuff? Crazy. 508 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:51,022 Why do you got gum? You got bad breath? 509 00:20:51,024 --> 00:20:52,038 -What else you got in there? -Where are my keys? 510 00:20:52,040 --> 00:20:53,041 Oh, you looking for something? Are you looking 511 00:20:53,043 --> 00:20:56,037 -for the murder weapon? -No, I'm looking for my keys. 512 00:20:56,039 --> 00:20:58,029 Guys, who took my keys? Seriously, give them back to me. 513 00:20:58,031 --> 00:21:00,022 First, she's trying to blame someone else for her murder. 514 00:21:00,024 --> 00:21:01,044 Now she's blaming us for taking her keys? 515 00:21:02,022 --> 00:21:04,037 [ Laughter ] Show me your hands. 516 00:21:04,039 --> 00:21:05,036 Show me your fucking hands! [ Camera shutter clicks ] 517 00:21:05,038 --> 00:21:08,021 Show me your hands! I know you have my keys! 518 00:21:08,023 --> 00:21:10,029 Show me your hands! [ Camera shutter clicks ] 519 00:21:10,031 --> 00:21:12,025 Did you check your pockets? 520 00:21:12,027 --> 00:21:13,041 [ Keys jingle ] 521 00:21:13,043 --> 00:21:16,025 Okay. [ Camera shutter clicks ] 522 00:21:16,027 --> 00:21:17,033 Really funny guys, huh? 523 00:21:17,035 --> 00:21:18,044 Somebody slipped them back into my pocket 524 00:21:19,022 --> 00:21:21,033 and made me look like a fucking asshole! 525 00:21:21,035 --> 00:21:24,029 Leave me the fuck alone! [ Reporters clamoring ] 526 00:21:24,031 --> 00:21:27,028 ♪♪ 527 00:21:27,030 --> 00:21:28,033 -Dory. -Dory. 528 00:21:28,035 --> 00:21:30,021 [ Dory screams ] 529 00:21:30,023 --> 00:21:32,041 [ "Dies Irae" playing ] 530 00:21:32,043 --> 00:21:41,043 ♪♪ 531 00:21:42,021 --> 00:21:51,023 ♪♪ 532 00:21:51,025 --> 00:22:00,025 ♪♪ 533 00:22:00,027 --> 00:22:09,027 ♪♪ 534 00:22:09,029 --> 00:22:18,031 ♪♪ 535 00:22:18,033 --> 00:22:27,037 ♪♪ 39554

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