Original subtitles

♪♪

[ Panting ]

Aah!

[ Screaming ]

[ Knife plunges ]

[ Screaming continues ]

[ Grunts, gurgles ]

And cut!

Oh, thanks, Kelly.

That was great.

You scared me.

I was scared for you.

Your scream is so real,

I hate hearing you.

We --

Everybody was...

I think

if I was great,

I probably wouldn't be

getting killed.

Portia, it has been a pleasure

killing you.

That is a series wrap

on Portia Davenport!

[ Applause ]

Thank you so much.

Thank you guys

so much.

Um, Jordan,

thank you for this opportunity.

And, Duncan, thank you

for creating such a layered,

strong female character.

It was an honor

to play her.

And thank you so much

to this crew...

...for what it is

that you do.

♪ Obedear, the sky is low ♪

♪♪

[ Sighs ]

[ Elliott groans ]

Ell?

[ Elliott groans ]

Baby.

Do you know?

Sweetheart.

Oh, my God,

are you okay?

Do you know?

I don't know

what you're talking about.

[ Inhales deeply ]

Okay, Portia.

Before you read this,

I need you to know

that I love you

and you're my family

and I need you.

Your article.

Okay,

this picture's so cute.

Thank you.

Why is Julian --

Why is he calling you

a liar?

Just read it.

"I can report firsthand

that Mr. Goss enjoys

regaling his sycophants

with mewling woe-is-me tales

of his childhood cancer."

"And yet

the reality is,

Mr. Goss never had cancer

at all."

Okay, he unraveled me

with his charm.

He is a snake

in a...

beautiful man's clothing.

It's the end of Pour.

It's the end of everything!

Wait. I'm just --

I'm confused.

I don't...

Did you have cancer

or not?

No,

I didn't "have cancer."

Now everybody

knows it.

I'm sorry.

What?

All this time

that we've been friends,

you've just been

completely lying to me?

Portia --

[ Chuckles ]

Look, I wasn't lying

to you, okay?

I was lying to everyone,

all the time.

Hey,

this is nice, huh?

Isn't it nice?

[ Chuckles ]

Lying in bed?

[ Laughs ]

Yeah, lying in bed.

Yeah,

it's the best.

Yeah.

You know, it's, um...

way better

than putting us both in danger

for some Facebook friend.

Alright, right.

Yeah.

[ Both chuckle ]

Well, all that Chantal stuff

is...over now, so...

You're not curious about

that check from that crazy lady?

It's not, like,

some enticing clue for you?

No, no.

Some weird...thing.

[ Chuckles ]

There's no clues

in real life, Drew.

[ Chuckling ]

Oh, is that where we are?

Yeah.

We're in

real life again?

Yeah,

Wow.

It looks awesome.

[ Chuckles ] Okay.

What do you want

to do today?

Oh, shit.

We could, uh,

go get some fish.

[ Chuckles ]

Or buy a snail

or something.

I want to so bad, but I forgot

I have to work with Gail today.

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

No!

Yes. She wants to do

some stupid shit.

No, Dory.

I know.

Today?

Yeah.

[ Cellphone vibrates ]

No, tell her you're sick.

Come on. We'll throw some soup

in the toilet and send a photo.

Please, for me.

It would be romantic.

Tell her I'm sick

and it's terminal.

Hey, um...

I'm just glad

things are back to normal.

Yeah, me too.

[ Sighs ]

[ Whistles ]

[ Cellphone vibrating ]

Jesus.

Who keeps trying

to get ahold of you so bad?

Wait.

Unh-unh. Unh-unh.

I got it!

Drew, Drew! No, no!

Hey! Unh-unh! Chill!

Drew, give it to me!

Give it to me.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa!

Chill --

Hey, whoa.

What the hell?

Wait.

It's from Portia.

She says, "Everything Elliott's

ever said is a lie."

What?

"A,"

she cannot spell.

You know, I actually can't deal

with the lecture right now.

People are tweeting

the vilest things about me.

My investors are pulling out

one by one.

Okay,

it's a true nightmare.

But I just really don't want

to do this right now.

[ Sighs ]

[ Inhales deeply ]

I cheated on Drew.

What?!

You're worse than me.

No, I'm not.

What you did is much,

much weirder.

Does Portia know?

No, nobody knows.

No.

It's that --

It's that

private-investigator guy, Keith.

Uh-huh.

He was helping me

find Chantal.

Wait.

Is he hot?

It was more about what we

were doing together, you know?

It was, like,

really exciting, and...

But no.

You can't tell Drew.

No, right?

You can't, ever.

He's too fragile.

I -- I really, really don't want

to tell him.

Mnh-mnh.

You know?

Yeah,

definitely lie.

Lie, lie, lie,

lie, lie, lie, lie.

I cannot

stress that enough.

It's the kind thing

to do.

Yeah, I think I feel --

I think I feel okay about that.

Dory,

you know what?

We cannot hate ourselves

because we wanted

to make our lives a little bit

more meaningful, okay?

We are two very, very nice

people who made huge mistakes.

Yeah.

And that's okay.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

Oh, shit.

Hold on.

Oh, damn it.

I have to go.

No!

Dory, please, no.

I know.

I have to...

get a fancy coffee

for a very, very lonely woman.

Mm.

That's my true calling now.

Okay, well, Dory...

listen,

I love you, okay?

You and me,

no matter what.

I love you, too.

Can I, uh...

have one of these?

No.

Yeah,

it's okay.

I'm sorry.

Bye.

Bye.

[ Door closes ]

Julian.

Hey.

What are you

doing here?

I'm just coming by

to check on him.

Right.

Yeah.

Yeah. And you brought

a little gift.

Yeah.

Well...

Yeah.

So, is this, like,

fun for you?

Look, I didn't make up a single

thing in that article, okay?

He asked me to do it,

so I did it.

And I wrote the truth,

and the truth just so happened

to be a lie.

Well...

good people do bad things

sometimes, you know?

No. No, Dory.

Bad people do bad things.

It's really simple.

Okay, you know,

whatever.

Jesus.

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

Dory, look,

I am done

with this negative energy

between us, okay?

[ Scoffs ]

And...

I've...

I've been wanting

to apologize

for saying that you don't

have anything going on.

I could've found a better way

of saying it.

Yeah,

you could have.

Mm-hmm.

Well, thanks,

I guess.

I mean, yeah, I'm just trying

to focus on, you know,

all the good

and important things

I already have

in my life, and...

Well, good.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And -- And good luck

with finding Chantal.

Oh, well,

that's done.

Not doing that anymore.

Oh.

Really?

I mean, you gave me

so much shit for it.

I was kind of hoping

you would prove me wrong.

Well...

Half of it soy,

and then the other half

is half and half,

and then

an extra shot,

and then just top it off

with, uh, some whipped cream.

♪♪

Excuse me.

Is your name Dory?

Yes.

I don't know

if you remember me.

I interviewed you

for Leading Women to Lead.

Yes,

I -- I remember.

Paulette Capuzzi.

Yeah, hi.

I'm really glad

I ran into you.

I owe you

a big apology.

When you interviewed,

I was dealing with

some personal issues.

My wife took a job in Kissimmee,

things blew up...

But don't you think it's stupid

she wants to go to Kissimmee?

Yeah. Yeah.

I guess it depends

on the job, right?

It's a stupid job.

Don't take her side.

She's awful.

[ Chuckles ] Okay.

But...

I took it out on you

unfairly.

Are you working now?

Um, well...

I ha-- I was working

on this, um...

you know, interesting...

case, um...

But that's -- that's --

that's done now.

So you're looking.

Yeah.

I am conducting

this new seminar.

Great girls,

very troubling backgrounds,

most of them Greek,

which is new for us,

and I really could use

some help.

[ Cellphone rings ]

Oh. I'm sorry.

Oh, I'll let you take that.

You probably hate me.

No.

[ Chuckles ]

That makes two of us.

[ Chuckles ] Yeah.

But you know, the ceiling

fell through in my office,

so I'm working off my iPad here

all afternoon.

If you want the job,

why don't you come back at 5:00?

Wow. Okay.

Gail: [ Sighs ] I am so glad

you're finally here.

All right,

here's your coffee.

Oh, oh, no,

I don't want it.

You know,

I had yogurt this morning.

My system

is collapsing.

[ Cellphone chimes ]

Uh, hello?

Earth to Dory.

Yes.

Come here.

Okay.

I'm trying out

these new curtains.

I need you to get on

the stepladder and be a window.

It's gonna be fun.

Okay.

You sure there's no other

better way maybe to --

I thought it through,

and there really isn't.

So this is

the best way.

All right.

It's just this color

and the pattern and...

Higher than this?

Yeah, as high

as you can go.

Dory,

you're a window.

Right.

Come on.

Okay. Yeah.

[ Sighs ]

[ Cellphone rings ]

Doesn't end!

Dory, stay right there,

okay?

Okay.

[ Sighs ]

Oh.

Watch this.

Rosetta Stone.

Namaste.

[ Speaking Hindi ]

[ Sighs ]

Gail?

Gai-- Oh.

Jesus, Dory, I didn't know

you were still here.

Yeah. Yeah.

I'm here.

Um, I...love

working with you.

I do. You know,

it's great, but...

I just think maybe

I'm -- I'm done.

[ Clicks tongue,

sighs ]

I'm disappointed.

Thank you.

You have

so much ahead of you,

so much you're gonna do

with your life.

[ Sighs ]

Do you think you ever want

to get married?

You know,

I don't know.

Maybe.

Oh.

You need to make that

a priority.

I'm giving you

three minutes,

and then

I'm kicking you out.

Okay, Marc, you actually look

adorable, by the way,

and I mean that.

Marc, please wait.

Marc.

Marc, wait.

Remember that time

we were at Prospect Park

and we saw that,

like, ugly turtle,

and it was, like,

in the water,

and it was trying

to get up on the rock?

And then you jumped

over the fence,

and you were, like,

on the rock,

and you, like,

um -- you kicked it.

No,

I -- I helped him.

Exactly.

And I just feel like,

since we broke up, like...

there's, like, no one to,

like, you know, like...

help me

back onto the rock.

Time and again, you give me

zero reason to trust you.

Okay.

I know what this is.

It's about the article.

No, I don't need an article

to tell me that you're a liar.

I'm actually glad

I was caught

because it gives me a chance

to start over.

And it gives,

like, us a chance

to, like, just, like,

to do it right this time.

You know

what I mean?

Okay,

I -- I will...

consider

taking you back if...

Mm-hmm.

...you will admit that you are

a liar and a narcissist.

Oh, my God.

[ Chuckles ]

Okay, that's easy.

I'm a liar,

and I'm a narcissist.

No, no, no.

I want you to feel shame.

I want you to say it again,

and this time,

I want you

to actually feel bad about it.

Okay.

I'm a liar...

Uh-huh.

...and I'm

a narcissist.

Uh-huh.

And I'm a really --

I'm a terrible person.

But I'm really

working on it.

I really want

to believe you.

You don't have to

believe me.

You just...

You just

have to love me.

♪♪

Hey, so,

I just quit Gail.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

And then, randomly,

I ran into that woman

from that

Leading Women to Lead thing,

and she offered me

a job.

Oh, whoa.

Wait, that's huge, right?

Yeah, I mean, you know,

just super, like, meant to be.

Or whatever. So, yeah,

I think it's good for me.

I-I think it's good.

Oh, my God.

This is awesome.

Babe,

I'm so proud of you.

Everything seems to be

going so well.

Yeah, actually, I'm gonna go

meet her right now.

Hey, we should celebrate

or something.

I've been thinking,

you want to take a trip?

We could visit

my folks.

My dad

just got a hot tub...

Shit!

...and he's going nuts.

He keeps telling me about it.

Shitty, shit,

shit, shit!

He's called me

He's even got his buddies

calling me.

I'm such a loser!

There's, like, a buddy of his

lives in Midtown.

He asked me if I wanted to meet

up and talk about the hot tub.

I was like,

"Uh...no."

And then he'd be like,

"Okay,

we're gonna run out of steam

at some point,"

and it's all

they want to talk about.

Can I call you back,

babe?

What?

I-I'll call you back.

Hey.

♪♪

Fuck!

It's all over. All over!

I'm a fucking idiot.

You're so uncoordinated.

My ceiling fell on my head,

and now I have this.

♪♪

I love your little islands

of chest hair.

[ Laughs ]

I love when we walk together,

people get jealous of me.

[ Scoffs ]

It's true.

God,

you're stupid.

I love, of course,

your ability to forgive.

Aww,

of course.

Mm.

Of course I do.

[ Cellphone rings ]

Oh, my God.

It's my agent.

I have to get this.

Hey, Sharon.

Oh, no, it --

Yeah, no,

it's been, like,

the toughest day

of my life, yeah.

But I've had, like,

really amazing friends

helping me through it,

so...

[ Chuckles ]

Wait.

No, no, no, no, no.

Slow down.

Oh, my God. Is this real?

Tell me this is real.

What --

What's going on?

Oh, my God.

What?

You are my warrior.

What --

What's going on?

Okay,

I mean, you are literally

the love of my life, Sharon.

Okay.

I'm on my way.

I got to go.

Where are you going?

I actually can't talk about it

right now.

It's, like,

very hush-hush.

It's all still, like,

in the works.

What is

in the works?

Elliott!

It's not for sure yet,

but I'm gonna be famous.

[ Sighs ]

[ Door opens, closes ]

I got

a book deal.

What?

Yeah,

I'm gonna be an author.

My agent's selling a memoir

about my life as a liar.

Wow.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

I mean, it has honestly been

the craziest day of my life.

I mean, I suffered all morning,

and since then,

I just feel like

I know more about who I am

and who

I have to be.

So, put on a dress,

girl.

We're going dancing.

[ Both laugh ]

Um, I don't really feel like

going dancing tonight.

Wait.

Portia,

are you still mad at me?

Mm.

Okay.

What I did

was terrible, okay?

It was inexcusable,

but...

For-- Forgive me?

I mean, right?

Forgive me.

Elliott...

my dad

died of cancer.

And I don't get

to have a dad.

And he really

loved me,

like, in a real crazy way,

and now I...

He doesn't get

to see me on TV.

And no one's ever gonna love me

the way that he did

in my whole life

or ever really care that I...

...ever did

anything special.

Because of cancer.

Portia,

I am so sorry.

I mean, you never --

you never talk about that.

You never asked.

And now...

what if I told you...

that my dad

is totally fine,

that he is

a boring ophthalmologist

that lives

in Park Slope,

and I was only

telling you that story

so that you would think

I was, like, really cool

and empathize

with my struggle?

Wait.

Is that true?

What -- What?

You tell me.

[ Elevator bell dings ]

Hello.

Is Lorraine De Coss

in today?

Lorraine?

What for?

I just have some questions

I'd like to ask her.

[ Laughter ]

She must have got this made

at FedEx Kinkos.

Take my picture.

I want a picture with it.

Oh, my God.

Oh, this is perfect.

Mm!

Aww!

[ Laughter ]

She's a mess.

So -- So you guys,

you -- you all knew Lorraine?

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, yeah.

She was just a temp.

She was crazy.

[ Laughter ]

There is no such thing

as a "head Realtor."

[ Laughs ]

What is that?

One time, I caught her

washing her underwear

in the bathroom sink.

Oh, my God!

Then maybe you could help me

make -- make sense of this.

Um...

Now,

what is this?

It's a --

It's a check from your company

to Bellow & Hare.

Oh, okay.

This must be one of our tenants.

Right,

but if that's so,

why would you guys be sending

a check for $7,000 to them?

Shouldn't it be

the other way around?

I'm sorry.

Who the hell are you?

So sorry to interrupt.

Amy.

I'm supposed to meet

some friends for dinner.

Do you need anything

before I take off?

Yes, Amy, come see this.

You're not gonna believe it.

Lorraine.

Look at that.

[ Laughing ]

"Head Realtor."

"Head Realtor."

[ Laughter ]

That is so sad.

I know.

I know!

She went

to FedEx Kinkos.

Can you imagine her

in there?

No, I mean...

[ Laughter ]

You don't know?

What?

She got hit

by a train.

What?

Lorraine got pushed

in front of a train?

Or she tripped and fell.

I don't know.

I bet

it was suicide.

She seemed like

a suicide person.

Woman:

Or somebody pushed her.

I mean, some days,

I wanted to push her.

[ Laughter ]

[ Laughing ]

Amy, you can go.

Get out of here.

Bye, girl.

Watch out

for those trains!

[ Laughter continues ]

Step away

from the platform.

I'm putting this

on Instagram.

Right now,

do it.

Okay.

Who's your missing friend?

Chantal Witherbottom?

[ Echoing ]

I saw her, too.

She was always there for me.

Chantal is in danger.

They broke in to my building.

No, they know too much.

Keith:

You do enough P.I. work,

you realize there's

no such thing as coincidence.

Oh, hey, kid.

I've been calling you

all day.

I thought

you were ghosting me.

Lorraine is dead.

[ Lock clicks ]

Holy cow.

[ Sighs ]

What do we do?

Well...

That's the reason

I was calling you.

Found us

some new leads.

♪ I don't care what you say ♪

♪ You say ♪

♪ Livin' life my own way ♪

♪ Own way ♪

♪ I don't care what they say ♪

♪ They say ♪

♪ Livin' life my own way ♪

♪ Own way ♪