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♪ ♪
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- What is missing from Me Too?
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I... it's difficult for me
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to say,
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- but I don't think
- it's a coincidence
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- That most of the women
- who have come forward
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- In Hollywood
- have been white women.
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- I don't think
- it's a coincidence
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That they are generally
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quite successful.
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If we look at the earning power
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of people in America,
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for example,
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at the very top are white men,
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and at the very bottom
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are women of color,
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and that is something
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that I think is necessary
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to look at when we are talking
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about who gets to come forward
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and give their own stories
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about surviving sexual abuse
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or sexual assault.
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- America picks and chooses
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who they're gonna listen to.
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- Not only does class
- have an indicator,
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But what that person
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looks like has an indicator.
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So who we decide to listen to
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is totally predicated
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on who we see as valuable
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in America.
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♪ ♪
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- A lot of black women
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felt disconnected
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from Me Too initially.
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They felt like, "That's great
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"that this sister is out there,
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"and we support her
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as an individual,
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but this movement
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is not for us."
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♪ ♪
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- If we're gonna
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move this forward,
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it can't simply remain
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a problem of the beautiful,
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- the wealthy,
- the popular.
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This has to be a moment where,
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yes, that might lead us,
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but we need to be able
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to make sure
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that a broader group of women
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are introduced
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into the public consciousness
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at the same time.
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♪ ♪
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- It is high time
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that the lens turns to us
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and that we're allowed
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to be heard
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and, more importantly,
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believed.
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♪ ♪
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Where is it?
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Okay, so I think I have
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to look in my closet.
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How could I have lost it
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so quickly?
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Here it is.
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Yeah, this is the demo
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for "Junior M.A.F.I.A."
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That's insane, right?
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- Yeah.
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With Lil' Kim and...
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- I think actually
- Biggie gave me this,
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Or Daddy-O must have given me
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this demo.
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At the time, Biggie was...
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Let's just call it
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a entrepreneur.
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So he was working outside,
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you know?
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- He just lived
- around the corner,
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And he was trying
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to be a rapper.
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- I was trying to be
- a rap A&R person.
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- We were all trying
- to be something.
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- ♪ Tell the people
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what you're here for ♪
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♪ ♪
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- ♪ It's the message
- in the song ♪
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♪ That makes you rock on ♪
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♪ Some people go to places ♪
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♪ Where they don't belong ♪
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♪ Whether wrong or right ♪
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♪ A lot of people fight ♪
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♪ But I'm here to bless ♪
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♪ This mic, all right ♪
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- When I lived here,
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I worked at Empire
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Artist Management.
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I was a receptionist
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pre-Def Jam.
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I was working with Gang Starr,
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DJ Premier,
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Jeru the Damaja.
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This is how I would walk
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to the train,
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and I specifically walked this
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way because Biggie told me,
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"Walk down my block
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because I run my block
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- "and everybody knows
- you're cool with me,
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"so if you walk down my block,
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- you're not gonna have
- any problems."
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- I mean, it was different.
- It was the early '90s.
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- There were crack vials
- everywhere.
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It was still, you know,
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rough and rugged.
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I always wonder
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what would have happened
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if Biggie had lived.
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I feel like Biggie...
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Biggie had my back.
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♪ ♪
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Music has always been sort of
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this language that I spoke.
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Everything from, you know,
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the Doors to the Beatles
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to Prince to jazz.
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- You know, my mom was a big
- Billie Holiday fan,
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So I consumed Billie Holiday
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voraciously.
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- I mean, I would stay up
- in the middle of the night
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And organize my mom's albums
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on the living room floor
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and I would just play
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the songs in order
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and I would chase the fades.
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I would turn it up to catch
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every last drop of the record
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because some of the best stuff
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was in the fade.
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Hip-hop then also had this
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additional appeal to me
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as this sort of black movement
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that was empowering people
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- who were otherwise lost
- and overlooked,
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- And I grew up feeling
- like that was my mission
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As the daughter
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of local politicians.
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I grew up in the thick
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of black D.C.
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- You know,
- knocking on doors,
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Trying to convert one voter
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at a time,
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and then hip-hop just combined
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two things that I loved:
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activism and this sense
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of pride with music.
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And it seemed like it could
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sort of, I thought,
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change the world.
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- Mayor Dixon, are you...
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Mrs. Dixon, are you prepared
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to take the oath?
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I am indeed.
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- Would you please place
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your left hand on the Bible?
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- When my mom was elected
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mayor of D.C.,
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I took my junior year off
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from Stanford
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to help
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with her inaugural ball,
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and in the process of putting
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together her inauguration,
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- I had the opportunity
- to pick the artists.
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- So I picked Rare Essence,
- my favorite go-go band.
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I picked Kwamé.
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- ♪ I came here for something ♪
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♪ Funky to happen ♪
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- And I picked Big Daddy Kane.
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- ♪ Let me hear you say ho ♪
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Ho!
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♪ Say ho ♪
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- Suddenly I was interacting
- with the people
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Behind the scenes,
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and it occurred to me,
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"Oh, what about those jobs?
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"Maybe that's what I should do.
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- "There's, like, this industry,
- and there's people
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- "who aren't the artists
- but they kind of
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"make it all happen.
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Maybe that's the thing for me."
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And so when I found out
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there was this job called A&R,
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where you could discover
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new artists
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and make great songs,
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- you know,
- I started reading "Billboard,"
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And I had all of these books
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and magazines,
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and Russell Simmons
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was a huge part of, like,
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that sort of ideal.
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Like, that's where I wanna be.
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I mean, I drove across
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the country to New York
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with a dream
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to make hip-hop records.
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I mean, I... I can't even put
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into words how excited I was.
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♪ ♪
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- I was an A&R coordinator
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at EMI Records.
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- I met Drew when she'd
- just finished college
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- And she had moved to New York
- from D.C.
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She was, like, this bright
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spirit that came out,
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and we hit it off right away.
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- I started by answering
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phones at various companies
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from Jive Records
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to Warner Bros. Records
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and eventually became
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a publishing executive
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at Zomba Music Publishing.
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- Drew was a young, powerful
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something to watch.
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An interesting,
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intelligent woman
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who cared so much
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about this music.
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- After about two years
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of just being in the mix,
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eventually I guess people
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sort of figured out,
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"Oh, this woman is always
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hanging out and showing up
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and knowing what's hot."
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- And so when Def Jam called me
- and was like,
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"Russell wants to offer you
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this job,"
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I mean, I was thrilled.
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I was... it was my...
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- It was like, "That's it.
- I won."
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♪ Yes ♪
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♪ Was the start of my last jam ♪
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♪ So here it is again,
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another def jam ♪
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- Who didn't wanna be
- Russell Simmons?
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- I mean, he had the foresight
- to cultivate
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What was in these clubs
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and in these streets
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in New York City
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- and make it into, like,
- this business.
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- The Russell Simmons
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that I met
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when I was 21 or 22
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was the godfather
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of the whole damn thing.
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- I met Russell
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at Disco Fever.
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Disco Fever was, like,
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the popular club in the Bronx
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that everybody who was somebody
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was able to go.
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You know, he was like God
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to everybody.
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- Everybody always looked
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at Russell as Def Jam,
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so that's a black label.
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'Cause the major labels
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was not touching us.
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- They were saying,
- "You a fad.
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What is this rap thing?"
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- He managed Run-DMC,
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one of the first groups
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to ever break the mold
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- with pop music
- with Aerosmith.
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- That had never
- been done before.
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- ♪ She told me to ♪
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- ♪ Walk this way ♪
286
00:09:36,375 --> 00:09:38,708
♪ Talk this way ♪
287
00:09:38,792 --> 00:09:39,769
- And Drew was there
288
00:09:39,793 --> 00:09:40,793
in the middle of, like,
289
00:09:40,875 --> 00:09:44,000
all of this swell of hip-hop,
290
00:09:44,083 --> 00:09:46,602
and Def Jam became the royalty
291
00:09:46,626 --> 00:09:49,167
of labels to be on.
292
00:09:49,250 --> 00:09:51,602
- Working for Russell Simmons,
293
00:09:51,626 --> 00:09:54,000
doing A&R,
294
00:09:54,083 --> 00:09:56,102
I mean, I could not
295
00:09:56,126 --> 00:09:58,167
have scripted it better.
296
00:10:01,250 --> 00:10:05,167
♪ ♪
297
00:10:05,250 --> 00:10:06,519
- Exactly one month since the
298
00:10:06,543 --> 00:10:07,833
first "New York Times" story
299
00:10:07,917 --> 00:10:09,625
about Weinstein's harassment,
300
00:10:09,708 --> 00:10:10,915
more and more powerful men
301
00:10:10,939 --> 00:10:12,167
have been held to account.
302
00:10:12,250 --> 00:10:13,852
- They've been accused
- of harassing
303
00:10:13,958 --> 00:10:15,373
Or assaulting behavior,
304
00:10:15,397 --> 00:10:16,833
so what is next?
305
00:10:16,917 --> 00:10:17,998
Or maybe I should say,
306
00:10:18,022 --> 00:10:19,125
"Who is next?"
307
00:10:22,625 --> 00:10:29,792
♪ ♪
308
00:10:31,083 --> 00:10:32,310
- So when the Harvey Weinstein
309
00:10:32,334 --> 00:10:33,583
stories started coming out,
310
00:10:33,667 --> 00:10:36,167
it was upsetting.
311
00:10:36,250 --> 00:10:37,518
- I didn't know anything
- about him.
312
00:10:37,542 --> 00:10:38,458
I didn't know him,
313
00:10:38,542 --> 00:10:41,167
but it was so familiar,
314
00:10:41,250 --> 00:10:42,542
and I was so grateful
315
00:10:42,625 --> 00:10:44,225
- that those women
- were being believed,
316
00:10:44,250 --> 00:10:46,059
- 'cause I knew... I could
- just feel in my bones...
317
00:10:46,083 --> 00:10:47,873
Like, I know what that's like;
318
00:10:47,897 --> 00:10:49,708
I know what that's about.
319
00:10:49,792 --> 00:10:51,208
But I was also kind of like,
320
00:10:51,292 --> 00:10:52,332
"I don't really wanna read
321
00:10:52,356 --> 00:10:53,417
these articles.
322
00:10:53,500 --> 00:10:54,686
"I don't really
323
00:10:54,710 --> 00:10:55,917
wanna take this in,
324
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,331
"because I don't want this
325
00:10:57,355 --> 00:10:58,708
to get too close to me,
326
00:10:58,792 --> 00:11:00,082
"where I'm gonna have
327
00:11:00,106 --> 00:11:01,417
to decide,
328
00:11:01,500 --> 00:11:03,250
"well, what would I do
329
00:11:03,333 --> 00:11:05,144
- "if I had the opportunity
- to come forward?
330
00:11:05,250 --> 00:11:06,477
I don't think I wanna
331
00:11:06,501 --> 00:11:07,750
even think about that."
332
00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:08,852
And also, I felt like,
333
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:09,917
as a black woman,
334
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,935
- I was like,
- "I don't know if this applies.
335
00:11:12,042 --> 00:11:13,583
I don't think this applies."
336
00:11:13,667 --> 00:11:14,894
- Victims of sexual harassment
337
00:11:14,918 --> 00:11:16,167
in Hollywood
338
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:18,185
- continue
- to tell their stories.
339
00:11:18,292 --> 00:11:20,040
This morning, allegations
340
00:11:20,064 --> 00:11:21,833
surfaced against Brett Ratner,
341
00:11:21,917 --> 00:11:23,852
- a filmmaker best known
- for directing
342
00:11:23,958 --> 00:11:25,250
The "Rush Hour" trilogy.
343
00:11:25,333 --> 00:11:26,750
- When Brett's name came up,
344
00:11:26,833 --> 00:11:29,019
- then I literally started to get,
- like, you know,
345
00:11:29,125 --> 00:11:31,042
The, like, knots in my stomach.
346
00:11:31,125 --> 00:11:32,394
Like, "Oh, boy,
347
00:11:32,418 --> 00:11:33,708
here we go."
348
00:11:33,792 --> 00:11:34,811
And then Russell's name
349
00:11:34,835 --> 00:11:35,875
started to come up
350
00:11:35,958 --> 00:11:37,500
in the stories about Brett.
351
00:11:37,583 --> 00:11:39,309
- The "Los Angeles Times"
- revealed accusations
352
00:11:39,333 --> 00:11:40,394
Of Simmons teaming up
353
00:11:40,418 --> 00:11:41,500
with Hollywood director
354
00:11:41,583 --> 00:11:42,894
Brett Ratner
355
00:11:42,918 --> 00:11:44,250
to allegedly assault women.
356
00:11:44,333 --> 00:11:45,559
- And then literally
- what happened,
357
00:11:45,583 --> 00:11:47,310
- One of my friends,
- she said,
358
00:11:47,417 --> 00:11:49,059
- "You know, I'm friends
- with Jodi Kantor
359
00:11:49,083 --> 00:11:50,893
- At 'The New York Times.'
- Do you wanna talk with her?"
360
00:11:50,917 --> 00:11:53,184
- I was like, "No, no, no, no, no,
- no, no, no, no, no, no, no.
361
00:11:53,208 --> 00:11:55,894
I do not wanna be radioactive.
362
00:11:55,918 --> 00:11:58,625
No."
363
00:11:58,708 --> 00:12:01,292
But then he denied everything,
364
00:12:01,375 --> 00:12:03,144
and I was so infuriated that
365
00:12:03,168 --> 00:12:04,958
I texted her back and I said,
366
00:12:05,042 --> 00:12:06,727
"Okay, intro me
367
00:12:06,751 --> 00:12:08,458
to Jodi Kantor.
368
00:12:08,542 --> 00:12:10,458
Just intro me."
369
00:12:17,458 --> 00:12:18,519
I spoke
370
00:12:18,543 --> 00:12:19,625
to "The New York Times."
371
00:12:19,708 --> 00:12:20,935
So I met with Jodi
372
00:12:20,959 --> 00:12:22,208
and Joe Coscarelli,
373
00:12:22,292 --> 00:12:23,958
the other reporter,
374
00:12:24,042 --> 00:12:25,061
and I was like,
375
00:12:25,085 --> 00:12:26,125
"This is off the record.
376
00:12:26,208 --> 00:12:27,750
"I'm just meeting with you.
377
00:12:27,833 --> 00:12:29,559
- "I just wanna kind of generally
- tell you my story,
378
00:12:29,583 --> 00:12:31,123
"and you guys tell me if you
379
00:12:31,147 --> 00:12:32,708
think it's even worth,
380
00:12:32,792 --> 00:12:34,152
- you know, documenting."
- Mm-hmm.
381
00:12:34,250 --> 00:12:35,476
- So they were like,
- "We'll think about it."
382
00:12:35,500 --> 00:12:36,740
You know, "Just think about it.
383
00:12:36,792 --> 00:12:38,269
- Let's stay in touch."
- And, um...
384
00:12:38,375 --> 00:12:39,665
- What are the stakes for you
385
00:12:39,689 --> 00:12:41,000
in terms of this, like,
386
00:12:41,083 --> 00:12:42,102
coming out?
387
00:12:42,126 --> 00:12:43,167
- Chaos.
388
00:12:43,250 --> 00:12:44,394
I don't really want chaos
389
00:12:44,418 --> 00:12:45,583
'cause I have kids
390
00:12:45,667 --> 00:12:46,748
and my husband
391
00:12:46,772 --> 00:12:47,875
doesn't like chaos.
392
00:12:47,958 --> 00:12:49,101
- Have you talked to your kids?
393
00:12:49,125 --> 00:12:50,500
- My kids know generally
394
00:12:50,583 --> 00:12:51,560
that men
395
00:12:51,584 --> 00:12:52,584
behaved inappropriately
396
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:55,250
with me in the music industry,
397
00:12:55,333 --> 00:12:57,708
and that's all I said.
398
00:12:57,792 --> 00:12:59,957
And I'm also just afraid
399
00:12:59,981 --> 00:13:02,167
that after finally finding
400
00:13:02,250 --> 00:13:04,352
some sort of peace after
401
00:13:04,376 --> 00:13:06,500
some really rough years,
402
00:13:06,583 --> 00:13:08,040
it's inviting more chaos
403
00:13:08,064 --> 00:13:09,542
into our lives.
404
00:13:16,375 --> 00:13:18,206
So this is, um, where Def Jam
405
00:13:18,230 --> 00:13:20,083
used to be.
406
00:13:20,167 --> 00:13:21,998
160 Varick Street.
407
00:13:22,022 --> 00:13:23,875
Spent two years of my life here.
408
00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:25,935
You know, I definitely remember
409
00:13:25,959 --> 00:13:27,958
somewhere along this street,
410
00:13:28,042 --> 00:13:30,269
catching cabs because
411
00:13:30,293 --> 00:13:32,542
I have #LightPrivilege,
412
00:13:32,625 --> 00:13:33,727
so I would, like,
413
00:13:33,751 --> 00:13:34,875
get the cab,
414
00:13:34,958 --> 00:13:36,144
and, like, I remember, like,
415
00:13:36,168 --> 00:13:37,375
Method Man and Redman
416
00:13:37,458 --> 00:13:38,601
- would be like,
- "All right, guys,
417
00:13:38,625 --> 00:13:40,125
Everybody in, everybody in!"
418
00:13:40,208 --> 00:13:41,456
I would be, like,
419
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,750
the stealth cab catcher.
420
00:13:45,958 --> 00:13:47,833
This was Def Jam in the '90s.
421
00:13:47,917 --> 00:13:50,583
This is where it all went down.
422
00:13:53,667 --> 00:13:55,708
♪ ♪
423
00:13:55,792 --> 00:13:57,623
- I was an executive assistant
424
00:13:57,647 --> 00:13:59,500
at Def Jam.
425
00:13:59,583 --> 00:14:01,644
It didn't feel like an office
426
00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:03,750
so much as almost, like,
427
00:14:03,833 --> 00:14:05,352
you're in a...
428
00:14:05,376 --> 00:14:06,917
Like, a club.
429
00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:08,581
- When I started doing outside
430
00:14:08,605 --> 00:14:10,208
counsel legal services
431
00:14:10,292 --> 00:14:11,583
for Def Jam,
432
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,310
- Russell had in place
- someone else
433
00:14:13,417 --> 00:14:14,998
Who was really running
434
00:14:15,022 --> 00:14:16,625
the operation day-to-day.
435
00:14:16,708 --> 00:14:18,560
- That was Lyor Cohen.
- Very, very so...
436
00:14:18,667 --> 00:14:19,665
I mean, he's legendary
437
00:14:19,689 --> 00:14:20,708
for being, you know,
438
00:14:20,792 --> 00:14:22,040
just this hugely strong
439
00:14:22,064 --> 00:14:23,333
personality.
440
00:14:23,417 --> 00:14:25,290
- Russell and I's daily
441
00:14:25,314 --> 00:14:27,208
meeting was at Danceteria,
442
00:14:27,292 --> 00:14:29,917
'cause he was just nonstop:
443
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,458
"and we're going to do this,
444
00:14:31,542 --> 00:14:32,748
"and once we do this,
445
00:14:32,772 --> 00:14:34,000
we're going to do that,
446
00:14:34,083 --> 00:14:35,769
and goddamn,
447
00:14:35,793 --> 00:14:37,500
she's fine."
448
00:14:37,583 --> 00:14:39,435
- So Lyor was president
- of the label
449
00:14:39,542 --> 00:14:41,250
On my first day.
450
00:14:41,333 --> 00:14:43,206
At some point, he called me
451
00:14:43,230 --> 00:14:45,125
into his office and he's like,
452
00:14:45,208 --> 00:14:46,415
"I don't know
453
00:14:46,439 --> 00:14:47,667
who the fuck you are,
454
00:14:47,750 --> 00:14:49,206
"but I don't have any time
455
00:14:49,230 --> 00:14:50,708
for any of Russell's
456
00:14:50,792 --> 00:14:52,542
"tall, skinny bitches,
457
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:53,665
"so this is what
458
00:14:53,689 --> 00:14:54,750
I want you to do.
459
00:14:54,833 --> 00:14:56,792
"If you see me in the building,
460
00:14:56,875 --> 00:14:58,708
"if you see me in the hallway,
461
00:14:58,792 --> 00:15:00,958
"find the nearest open office...
462
00:15:01,042 --> 00:15:02,458
"the nearest open door,
463
00:15:02,542 --> 00:15:04,185
- "go into it,
- and hide,
464
00:15:04,292 --> 00:15:05,540
"because I don't want
465
00:15:05,564 --> 00:15:06,833
to fucking see any tall,
466
00:15:06,917 --> 00:15:09,102
- "skinny bitches who are friends
- with Russell.
467
00:15:09,208 --> 00:15:10,248
Got it?
468
00:15:10,272 --> 00:15:11,333
Got it, tall, skinny?"
469
00:15:11,417 --> 00:15:13,292
I was like, "Got it."
470
00:15:28,458 --> 00:15:30,000
- It was clear what he meant.
471
00:15:30,083 --> 00:15:31,623
There was this perception
472
00:15:31,647 --> 00:15:33,208
that I had a certain kind
473
00:15:33,292 --> 00:15:35,208
of relationship with Russell,
474
00:15:35,292 --> 00:15:37,333
which was definitely not true,
475
00:15:37,417 --> 00:15:39,708
and so I didn't wanna fail.
476
00:15:39,792 --> 00:15:40,790
I mean, how much better
477
00:15:40,814 --> 00:15:41,833
of a shot could I get
478
00:15:41,917 --> 00:15:43,477
than being the director
479
00:15:43,501 --> 00:15:45,083
of A&R at Def Jam?
480
00:15:45,167 --> 00:15:47,167
This has to work.
481
00:15:47,250 --> 00:15:49,581
And so the only way to really
482
00:15:49,605 --> 00:15:51,958
get his full attention...
483
00:15:52,042 --> 00:15:53,917
'cause he was quite scattered...
484
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,667
Was to be in front of him.
485
00:15:55,750 --> 00:15:57,851
- So I would stay in touch
- with his driver, Kenny Mac.
486
00:15:57,875 --> 00:15:59,768
- "Where is he gonna be and when
- is he gonna be there?"
487
00:15:59,792 --> 00:16:01,143
- He'd be like, "He's gonna be
- in front of the building.
488
00:16:01,167 --> 00:16:02,583
Just come out now."
489
00:16:02,667 --> 00:16:04,644
And that's essentially
490
00:16:04,668 --> 00:16:06,667
how I made it work.
491
00:16:06,750 --> 00:16:08,290
Eventually Russell gave me
492
00:16:08,314 --> 00:16:09,875
a soundtrack to put together,
493
00:16:09,958 --> 00:16:11,040
and it was
494
00:16:11,064 --> 00:16:12,167
a hip-hop documentary
495
00:16:12,250 --> 00:16:14,185
- and it was like a survey
- of hip-hop.
496
00:16:14,292 --> 00:16:15,498
- ♪ Put your hands in the air
497
00:16:15,522 --> 00:16:16,750
if you's a true player ♪
498
00:16:16,833 --> 00:16:17,852
- So when you're pulling
499
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:18,917
a soundtrack,
500
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:19,977
you have to get all these
501
00:16:20,001 --> 00:16:21,001
different types of sounds
502
00:16:21,083 --> 00:16:22,458
for the score.
503
00:16:22,542 --> 00:16:23,644
- ♪ The R to the E
504
00:16:23,668 --> 00:16:24,792
to the S-P-ECT ♪
505
00:16:24,875 --> 00:16:25,956
- Working with
506
00:16:25,980 --> 00:16:27,083
that kind of a budget
507
00:16:27,167 --> 00:16:28,207
and it's, like,
508
00:16:28,231 --> 00:16:29,292
your first record to do,
509
00:16:29,375 --> 00:16:31,208
it was, like, a daunting task,
510
00:16:31,292 --> 00:16:33,434
- but, um, like, she was
- definitely up for the challenge.
511
00:16:33,458 --> 00:16:34,685
- Here you had
512
00:16:34,709 --> 00:16:35,958
very sophisticated deals
513
00:16:36,042 --> 00:16:37,144
that had to be done
514
00:16:37,168 --> 00:16:38,292
to license these songs,
515
00:16:38,375 --> 00:16:39,748
to license the sound recordings
516
00:16:39,772 --> 00:16:41,167
of the songs,
517
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:42,477
artists that you had to deal
518
00:16:42,501 --> 00:16:43,750
with all their representatives,
519
00:16:43,833 --> 00:16:45,435
and so she had a lot
520
00:16:45,459 --> 00:16:47,083
of ground to cover.
521
00:16:47,167 --> 00:16:49,018
- I just started picking up
- the phone and calling, like,
522
00:16:49,042 --> 00:16:51,019
- "Hi, my name is Drew Dixon.
- I work at Def Jam.
523
00:16:51,125 --> 00:16:52,977
- "We're doing a soundtrack
- about hip-hop
524
00:16:53,083 --> 00:16:54,185
And I think it's important
525
00:16:54,209 --> 00:16:55,333
that you're represented.
526
00:16:55,417 --> 00:16:57,144
- "I wanna represent
- the Midwest.
527
00:16:57,250 --> 00:16:58,602
- "I wanna represent
- the South.
528
00:16:58,708 --> 00:17:00,143
- "I feel like
- these are the genres
529
00:17:00,167 --> 00:17:01,352
That represent
530
00:17:01,376 --> 00:17:02,583
the state of the art,"
531
00:17:02,667 --> 00:17:04,810
- and I just sort of made it up
- as I went along.
532
00:17:06,833 --> 00:17:08,353
- Like, I called
- Bone Thugs-n-Harmony
533
00:17:08,458 --> 00:17:09,643
- Out of the clear blue
- 'cause I saw them
534
00:17:09,667 --> 00:17:11,208
On "Video Music Jukebox,"
535
00:17:11,292 --> 00:17:13,143
- and I just called them and said,
- "Can we have a song?"
536
00:17:13,167 --> 00:17:14,768
- And they were like, "Cool,"
- and even, like,
537
00:17:14,792 --> 00:17:16,476
- Def Jam was like, "Who?"
- And I was like, "Trust me.
538
00:17:16,500 --> 00:17:17,583
They're dope."
539
00:17:17,667 --> 00:17:19,083
- ♪ It's an everyday thang ♪
540
00:17:19,167 --> 00:17:20,894
- ♪ When you let
- your nuts hang ♪
541
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,726
- And at the end of the
- record, I have a shout-out.
542
00:17:22,750 --> 00:17:24,435
- "Everyday Thang,"
- if you listen to it.
543
00:17:24,542 --> 00:17:26,311
- Much love to Drew
544
00:17:26,335 --> 00:17:28,125
and everybody at Def Jam.
545
00:17:28,208 --> 00:17:29,542
- It was my first shout-out.
546
00:17:30,917 --> 00:17:32,434
- It was so great.
- Well, they were like,
547
00:17:32,458 --> 00:17:34,338
- "You're from Def Jam
- and you're calling us?"
548
00:17:34,375 --> 00:17:35,727
I was like, "Yeah,
549
00:17:35,751 --> 00:17:37,125
you guys are dope."
550
00:17:37,208 --> 00:17:38,833
- Tupac was on that album.
551
00:17:38,917 --> 00:17:40,144
Slick Rick,
552
00:17:40,168 --> 00:17:41,417
Dr. Dre.
553
00:17:41,500 --> 00:17:43,498
She got Method Man and Redman
554
00:17:43,522 --> 00:17:45,542
on the record together.
555
00:17:45,625 --> 00:17:47,375
- Method Man and Redman.
556
00:17:47,458 --> 00:17:48,790
That literally meant she gave
557
00:17:48,814 --> 00:17:50,167
some of the best MCs
558
00:17:50,250 --> 00:17:52,875
on the planet a deal.
559
00:17:52,958 --> 00:17:54,873
That's dope.
560
00:17:54,897 --> 00:17:56,833
That's dope.
561
00:17:56,917 --> 00:17:58,417
- "The Show" was a big success.
562
00:17:58,500 --> 00:17:59,811
Um, I worked on other things
563
00:17:59,835 --> 00:18:01,167
that were big successes.
564
00:18:01,250 --> 00:18:02,831
I, um, heard an interlude
565
00:18:02,855 --> 00:18:04,458
when they were working
566
00:18:04,542 --> 00:18:06,500
on Method Man's album,
567
00:18:06,583 --> 00:18:08,583
- and the interlude literally
- was just Method Man
568
00:18:08,667 --> 00:18:10,208
A cappella saying,
569
00:18:10,292 --> 00:18:11,373
"Shorty, I'm there for you
570
00:18:11,397 --> 00:18:12,500
anytime you need me.
571
00:18:12,583 --> 00:18:13,893
- "For real, girl,
- it's me in your world.
572
00:18:13,917 --> 00:18:14,917
Believe me."
573
00:18:14,958 --> 00:18:16,500
- ♪ Believe me ♪
574
00:18:16,583 --> 00:18:18,351
- ♪ Nothing make a man
- feel better than a woman ♪
575
00:18:18,375 --> 00:18:20,268
- ♪ Queen with a crown
- that be down for whatever ♪
576
00:18:20,292 --> 00:18:21,665
- I was like, "Wow.
577
00:18:21,689 --> 00:18:23,083
Well, that's dope.
578
00:18:23,167 --> 00:18:25,332
"That's, like,
579
00:18:25,356 --> 00:18:27,542
a hip-hop sonnet.
580
00:18:27,625 --> 00:18:30,375
That's dope."
581
00:18:30,458 --> 00:18:32,102
- Like, I remember
- telling Russell,
582
00:18:32,208 --> 00:18:33,185
"That's a song.
583
00:18:33,209 --> 00:18:34,209
That's not an interlude.
584
00:18:34,292 --> 00:18:36,333
And it should be a duet."
585
00:18:36,417 --> 00:18:37,737
- I was like,
- "What about Mary?"
586
00:18:37,792 --> 00:18:39,250
He's like, "Okay."
587
00:18:39,333 --> 00:18:41,269
- And then I remember
- a phone call with Puffy.
588
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:42,727
And he's like, "Okay, so I
589
00:18:42,751 --> 00:18:44,125
have an idea for this record.
590
00:18:44,208 --> 00:18:45,415
Do you know the song
591
00:18:45,439 --> 00:18:46,667
"You're All I Need to Get By"
592
00:18:46,750 --> 00:18:48,190
- by Marvin Gaye
- and Tammi Terrell?
593
00:18:48,292 --> 00:18:49,750
I was like, "Of course I do."
594
00:18:49,833 --> 00:18:52,143
- He's like, "Okay, can you sing
- the Tammi Terrell part?"
595
00:18:52,167 --> 00:18:54,087
- And I was like, "Okay."
- ♪ You're all I need ♪
596
00:18:54,125 --> 00:18:55,500
- ♪ You're all I need ♪
597
00:18:55,583 --> 00:18:57,519
- ♪ All I need ♪
- ♪ To get by ♪
598
00:18:57,625 --> 00:18:58,790
- ♪ To get by ♪
599
00:18:58,814 --> 00:19:00,000
- ♪ Aye ♪
600
00:19:00,083 --> 00:19:01,456
- He's like, "Okay,
601
00:19:01,480 --> 00:19:02,875
now imagine the...
602
00:19:02,958 --> 00:19:04,560
The 'Children's Story' track."
603
00:19:06,292 --> 00:19:07,708
He's like, "Okay."
604
00:19:07,792 --> 00:19:09,309
- ♪ Shorty, I'm there for you
- anytime you... ♪
605
00:19:09,333 --> 00:19:10,809
- And I'm, like, singing Tammi
- and he's like...
606
00:19:10,833 --> 00:19:12,143
- ♪ For real girl ♪
- I was like, "Oh, my God.
607
00:19:12,167 --> 00:19:13,144
"Mind blown!
608
00:19:13,168 --> 00:19:14,168
Yo, this is crazy!
609
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:15,915
Oh, my God.
610
00:19:15,939 --> 00:19:17,625
We have to do this."
611
00:19:18,625 --> 00:19:20,102
- To this day
612
00:19:20,126 --> 00:19:21,625
when you hear that song,
613
00:19:21,708 --> 00:19:23,351
- you know that the people
- behind that had a vision.
614
00:19:23,375 --> 00:19:24,583
First of all, you had to know
615
00:19:24,667 --> 00:19:26,185
- that Mary and Method
- go together.
616
00:19:26,292 --> 00:19:28,165
They just do,
617
00:19:28,189 --> 00:19:30,083
but who knew?
618
00:19:30,167 --> 00:19:33,167
- The record won a Grammy.
619
00:19:33,250 --> 00:19:34,394
I mean, literally,
620
00:19:34,418 --> 00:19:35,583
it's on Obama's mixtape
621
00:19:35,667 --> 00:19:37,307
- of his favorite songs,
- and I'm like...
622
00:19:40,667 --> 00:19:45,000
After the duet was successful,
623
00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:47,003
- and then "The Show" soundtrack
- hit number one
624
00:19:47,042 --> 00:19:49,040
On the R&B chart,
625
00:19:49,064 --> 00:19:51,083
shipped platinum,
626
00:19:51,167 --> 00:19:53,060
- it really helped build
- our credibility
627
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:55,333
With PolyGram records.
628
00:19:55,417 --> 00:19:56,498
I was suddenly on the radar
629
00:19:56,522 --> 00:19:57,625
with the parent company.
630
00:19:57,708 --> 00:19:59,394
I wasn't just Drew Dixon
631
00:19:59,418 --> 00:20:01,125
from Def Jam.
632
00:20:01,208 --> 00:20:03,040
Lyor sent me this, like,
633
00:20:03,064 --> 00:20:04,917
massive gourmet gift basket
634
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,394
to thank me for my hard work
635
00:20:06,418 --> 00:20:07,833
and to sort of say, "I'm sorry
636
00:20:07,917 --> 00:20:09,311
I didn't appreciate
637
00:20:09,335 --> 00:20:10,750
how talented you were."
638
00:20:10,833 --> 00:20:12,018
- That's one
- of the beautiful things
639
00:20:12,042 --> 00:20:13,875
About the music industry.
640
00:20:13,958 --> 00:20:15,519
If you have a great work ethic
641
00:20:15,543 --> 00:20:17,125
and you have some talent,
642
00:20:17,208 --> 00:20:18,435
you can end up
643
00:20:18,459 --> 00:20:19,708
running a label.
644
00:20:19,792 --> 00:20:21,477
- So it is a space
- where there was
645
00:20:21,583 --> 00:20:24,125
A lot of mobility for women,
646
00:20:24,208 --> 00:20:25,540
but at the same time,
647
00:20:25,564 --> 00:20:26,917
there was tremendous amount
648
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,831
of sexual harassment that was
649
00:20:28,855 --> 00:20:30,708
just baked into the culture.
650
00:20:38,250 --> 00:20:39,748
Thank you, Daddy.
651
00:20:41,375 --> 00:20:42,644
- Music comes with a certain
652
00:20:42,668 --> 00:20:43,958
sense of promiscuity.
653
00:20:44,042 --> 00:20:45,417
Like, whether you're an artist
654
00:20:45,500 --> 00:20:46,976
- or the... you're the guy
- making the artist,
655
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,208
You have that kind of power
656
00:20:48,292 --> 00:20:49,436
where sex is just part
657
00:20:49,460 --> 00:20:50,625
of the game.
658
00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:52,102
- When things went awry,
659
00:20:52,126 --> 00:20:53,542
if things were uncomfortable,
660
00:20:53,625 --> 00:20:54,956
if they were misogynist,
661
00:20:54,980 --> 00:20:56,333
if they were sexist,
662
00:20:56,417 --> 00:20:57,936
you didn't get a lot
663
00:20:57,960 --> 00:20:59,500
of sympathy for that, you know?
664
00:20:59,583 --> 00:21:00,790
That was considered
665
00:21:00,814 --> 00:21:02,042
the price of admission.
666
00:21:02,125 --> 00:21:04,373
- The first time Russell
667
00:21:04,397 --> 00:21:06,667
was inappropriate with me,
668
00:21:06,750 --> 00:21:09,833
we were at Café Tabac.
669
00:21:09,917 --> 00:21:11,560
- He was waiting outside
- of the restroom
670
00:21:11,667 --> 00:21:13,601
- As I was leaving the restroom
- and he grabbed me
671
00:21:13,625 --> 00:21:15,540
And pulled me into a closet
672
00:21:15,564 --> 00:21:17,500
and tried to kiss me
673
00:21:17,583 --> 00:21:19,708
and I got away,
674
00:21:19,792 --> 00:21:20,957
and then it started happening
675
00:21:20,981 --> 00:21:22,167
in my office,
676
00:21:22,250 --> 00:21:23,748
and he would come in
677
00:21:23,772 --> 00:21:25,292
and lock the door.
678
00:21:25,375 --> 00:21:27,559
- The first couple times,
- he would just try to kiss me
679
00:21:27,583 --> 00:21:29,500
And I got out of it,
680
00:21:29,583 --> 00:21:31,250
but then Russell escalated
681
00:21:31,333 --> 00:21:32,733
- from pushing me
- against the wall
682
00:21:32,792 --> 00:21:34,519
- To literally coming in,
- not touching me,
683
00:21:34,625 --> 00:21:37,125
But exposing himself.
684
00:21:37,208 --> 00:21:38,935
I thought that he was,
685
00:21:38,959 --> 00:21:40,708
like, this tragic, like,
686
00:21:40,792 --> 00:21:42,915
ADD puppy dog that I just had
687
00:21:42,939 --> 00:21:45,083
to keep retraining,
688
00:21:45,167 --> 00:21:46,707
but then he wasn't,
689
00:21:46,731 --> 00:21:48,292
like, violent.
690
00:21:50,042 --> 00:21:51,477
- He always sheepishly
691
00:21:51,501 --> 00:21:52,958
apologized later,
692
00:21:53,042 --> 00:21:55,457
so I thought, "He feels bad,"
693
00:21:55,481 --> 00:21:57,917
and he would sort of back off
694
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,498
for a while, and then
695
00:21:59,522 --> 00:22:01,042
he would do it again.
696
00:22:01,125 --> 00:22:02,311
I guess I thought it was part
697
00:22:02,335 --> 00:22:03,542
of the culture
698
00:22:03,625 --> 00:22:05,540
and I needed
699
00:22:05,564 --> 00:22:07,500
to just manage around it,
700
00:22:07,583 --> 00:22:09,873
and then eventually I thought
701
00:22:09,897 --> 00:22:12,208
that I had proven myself
702
00:22:12,292 --> 00:22:14,811
and was now too valuable for him
703
00:22:14,835 --> 00:22:17,375
to wanna burn the bridge.
704
00:22:17,458 --> 00:22:18,915
I thought,
705
00:22:18,939 --> 00:22:20,417
"I am an executive with value,
706
00:22:20,500 --> 00:22:21,750
"and he's a businessperson,
707
00:22:21,833 --> 00:22:23,435
- "and he's a very
- well-regarded one,
708
00:22:23,542 --> 00:22:25,625
So surely he'll leave me alone."
709
00:22:27,833 --> 00:22:29,417
I really didn't understand
710
00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:30,852
that all of those
711
00:22:30,876 --> 00:22:32,250
other violations
712
00:22:32,333 --> 00:22:34,498
of my physical boundaries
713
00:22:34,522 --> 00:22:36,708
were breaking me down.
714
00:22:46,333 --> 00:22:48,477
- You stay because you hope
715
00:22:48,501 --> 00:22:50,667
that perhaps you can
716
00:22:50,750 --> 00:22:52,061
provide enough value
717
00:22:52,085 --> 00:22:53,417
to the company
718
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:55,583
and move ahead,
719
00:22:55,667 --> 00:22:57,332
but part of the ability
720
00:22:57,356 --> 00:22:59,042
to ascend
721
00:22:59,125 --> 00:23:01,269
is contingent upon your ability
722
00:23:01,293 --> 00:23:03,458
to either, A,
723
00:23:03,542 --> 00:23:05,061
comply with someone's
724
00:23:05,085 --> 00:23:06,625
sexual advances
725
00:23:06,708 --> 00:23:10,227
or letting them think that they
726
00:23:10,251 --> 00:23:13,792
might have a shot in hell
727
00:23:13,875 --> 00:23:16,542
without encouraging them.
728
00:23:16,625 --> 00:23:18,727
- It's something that you have
- to go along with
729
00:23:18,833 --> 00:23:20,873
Because the alternative
730
00:23:20,897 --> 00:23:22,958
is that you'll be unemployed.
731
00:23:23,042 --> 00:23:24,811
- I think for a lot of women
732
00:23:24,835 --> 00:23:26,625
of that era,
733
00:23:26,708 --> 00:23:29,165
it's only now that we're really
734
00:23:29,189 --> 00:23:31,667
unpacking how toxic
735
00:23:31,750 --> 00:23:34,042
so much of that time was.
736
00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,081
- When I was in college
737
00:23:40,105 --> 00:23:41,833
and rap started,
738
00:23:41,917 --> 00:23:44,708
it was like party music,
739
00:23:44,792 --> 00:23:46,977
and at some point, I remember
740
00:23:47,001 --> 00:23:49,208
dancing and... and singing along,
741
00:23:49,292 --> 00:23:51,290
and then words... "bitch,"
742
00:23:51,314 --> 00:23:53,333
"ho," you know,
743
00:23:53,417 --> 00:23:54,519
stuff like that started
744
00:23:54,543 --> 00:23:55,667
coming into the music,
745
00:23:55,750 --> 00:23:57,083
and I was like,
746
00:23:57,167 --> 00:23:58,352
"I'm not quite sure
747
00:23:58,376 --> 00:23:59,583
if I'm down for this."
748
00:24:06,875 --> 00:24:08,542
- I'd say by mid-'80s,
749
00:24:08,625 --> 00:24:10,706
you have your G Raps and
750
00:24:10,730 --> 00:24:12,833
you have your hard-core MCs
751
00:24:12,917 --> 00:24:15,123
who are introducing misogyny
752
00:24:15,147 --> 00:24:17,375
over, like, dope beats
753
00:24:17,458 --> 00:24:18,727
and then things
754
00:24:18,751 --> 00:24:20,042
become palatable.
755
00:24:24,500 --> 00:24:26,186
- And then you introduce video
756
00:24:26,210 --> 00:24:27,917
at the level video begins
757
00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:29,915
in the '90s, and women began
758
00:24:29,939 --> 00:24:31,875
to look alike.
759
00:24:31,958 --> 00:24:33,185
They were all typically
760
00:24:33,209 --> 00:24:34,458
light-skinned.
761
00:24:34,542 --> 00:24:36,686
They all had long
762
00:24:36,710 --> 00:24:38,875
and/or wavy hair.
763
00:24:38,958 --> 00:24:41,706
It was clearly a statement
764
00:24:41,730 --> 00:24:44,500
against the large majority
765
00:24:44,583 --> 00:24:45,935
of black women,
766
00:24:45,959 --> 00:24:47,333
how we look
767
00:24:47,417 --> 00:24:48,792
and how we present.
768
00:24:48,875 --> 00:24:50,935
- ♪ And go dig in them guts
- like a gardener ♪
769
00:24:51,042 --> 00:24:52,248
♪ If she starts screaming,
770
00:24:52,272 --> 00:24:53,500
I'ma fuck the bitch harder ♪
771
00:24:53,583 --> 00:24:55,935
- I actually think that
- the things that are being said
772
00:24:56,042 --> 00:24:57,582
About black women
773
00:24:57,606 --> 00:24:59,167
are actually racist.
774
00:24:59,250 --> 00:25:00,227
You know,
775
00:25:00,251 --> 00:25:01,251
you're basically dancing,
776
00:25:01,333 --> 00:25:03,873
you know, to, um, ideology
777
00:25:03,897 --> 00:25:06,458
that had been, you know,
778
00:25:06,542 --> 00:25:08,167
spread by defenders of slavery.
779
00:25:08,250 --> 00:25:09,852
You don't realize that this
780
00:25:09,876 --> 00:25:11,500
is basically the same kind
781
00:25:11,583 --> 00:25:13,165
of idea that justified the...
782
00:25:13,189 --> 00:25:14,792
The abuse of black women
783
00:25:14,875 --> 00:25:16,040
for centuries.
784
00:25:16,064 --> 00:25:17,250
- When I was younger,
785
00:25:17,333 --> 00:25:19,693
- I would look at the women
- and I would judge them, right?
786
00:25:19,792 --> 00:25:21,018
- And I would feel
- some type of way,
787
00:25:21,042 --> 00:25:22,292
But as I get older,
788
00:25:22,375 --> 00:25:24,144
- I look at the culture
- that breeds that.
789
00:25:24,250 --> 00:25:26,123
- Hip-hop certainly didn't
790
00:25:26,147 --> 00:25:28,042
invent misogyny in music.
791
00:25:28,125 --> 00:25:29,417
Just did not.
792
00:25:29,500 --> 00:25:31,602
Every other music form
793
00:25:31,626 --> 00:25:33,750
essentially
794
00:25:33,833 --> 00:25:37,542
has some level of misogyny.
795
00:26:15,375 --> 00:26:16,456
- Hip-hop has always
796
00:26:16,480 --> 00:26:17,583
been reflective
797
00:26:17,667 --> 00:26:19,917
of the world that we live in.
798
00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:21,290
These white patriarchal
799
00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:22,625
power structures that exist,
800
00:26:22,708 --> 00:26:24,083
we just mimic them,
801
00:26:24,167 --> 00:26:25,792
and we carry them on
802
00:26:25,875 --> 00:26:27,167
and make them our own.
803
00:26:27,250 --> 00:26:28,706
- Hip-hop was not just
804
00:26:28,730 --> 00:26:30,208
about misogyny,
805
00:26:30,292 --> 00:26:31,623
that hip-hop was not just
806
00:26:31,647 --> 00:26:33,000
about sexism.
807
00:26:33,083 --> 00:26:34,185
- ♪ We got to fight
808
00:26:34,209 --> 00:26:35,333
the powers that be ♪
809
00:26:35,417 --> 00:26:36,519
- And even though
810
00:26:36,543 --> 00:26:37,667
it may have been couched
811
00:26:37,750 --> 00:26:39,540
in very hyper-masculine
812
00:26:39,564 --> 00:26:41,375
imagery and language,
813
00:26:41,458 --> 00:26:43,081
there was really an expression
814
00:26:43,105 --> 00:26:44,750
of, like, pain
815
00:26:44,833 --> 00:26:46,644
- and struggle
- and what it meant
816
00:26:46,750 --> 00:26:48,333
To grow up with the legacy
817
00:26:48,417 --> 00:26:49,832
that the hip-hop
818
00:26:49,856 --> 00:26:51,292
generation inherited.
819
00:26:51,375 --> 00:26:52,352
- You stand in solidarity
820
00:26:52,376 --> 00:26:53,376
with the movement
821
00:26:53,458 --> 00:26:54,333
as a black woman.
822
00:26:54,417 --> 00:26:55,667
You don't parse the sexism
823
00:26:55,750 --> 00:26:56,727
within the movement
824
00:26:56,751 --> 00:26:57,751
as a black woman,
825
00:26:57,833 --> 00:26:59,685
and we were all so excited
826
00:26:59,709 --> 00:27:01,583
about hip-hop and what it meant
827
00:27:01,667 --> 00:27:03,185
- that we just sort of
- tolerated it.
828
00:27:03,292 --> 00:27:04,375
We laughed it off.
829
00:27:04,458 --> 00:27:05,698
- We thought, like,
- "Whatever.
830
00:27:05,750 --> 00:27:07,873
"It's, you know, like...
831
00:27:07,897 --> 00:27:10,042
It's...
832
00:27:10,125 --> 00:27:11,542
Don't be so thin-skinned,"
833
00:27:11,625 --> 00:27:12,977
is sort of what we said
834
00:27:13,001 --> 00:27:14,375
to anyone who pushed back
835
00:27:14,458 --> 00:27:16,042
against some of that language,
836
00:27:16,125 --> 00:27:17,519
and now that I'm older,
837
00:27:17,543 --> 00:27:18,958
I realize that language
838
00:27:19,042 --> 00:27:20,875
set a tone,
839
00:27:20,958 --> 00:27:22,519
but I didn't see it that way
840
00:27:22,543 --> 00:27:24,125
at the time.
841
00:27:30,292 --> 00:27:32,917
"The New York Times" is doing
842
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,873
a super-rigorous
843
00:27:34,897 --> 00:27:36,792
background check
844
00:27:36,875 --> 00:27:38,748
to determine if I'm even
845
00:27:38,772 --> 00:27:40,667
a credible source,
846
00:27:40,750 --> 00:27:41,873
and I haven't even decided
847
00:27:41,897 --> 00:27:43,042
if I'm gonna do this...
848
00:27:43,125 --> 00:27:44,123
If I'm even gonna go
849
00:27:44,147 --> 00:27:45,167
on the record.
850
00:28:01,250 --> 00:28:02,333
- Hello?
851
00:28:02,417 --> 00:28:03,894
- Hey, Joe.
- How are you?
852
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,685
- Good, and you?
- I'm okay.
853
00:28:05,792 --> 00:28:06,958
Is this an okay time?
854
00:28:07,042 --> 00:28:09,083
- Are we... are we on camera?
855
00:28:09,167 --> 00:28:10,807
- Uh, you are,
- so if you don't wanna be,
856
00:28:10,833 --> 00:28:12,375
We can... we can remedy that.
857
00:28:12,458 --> 00:28:13,956
- Yeah, I mean, I think
858
00:28:13,980 --> 00:28:15,500
this'll probably be, like,
859
00:28:15,583 --> 00:28:16,935
- sort of sensitive.
- Okay.
860
00:28:17,042 --> 00:28:18,832
- Uh, I don't know.
861
00:28:18,856 --> 00:28:20,667
I, uh...
862
00:28:20,750 --> 00:28:22,430
- I don't really know
- what the rules are,
863
00:28:22,458 --> 00:28:23,498
But I just feel like...
864
00:28:23,522 --> 00:28:24,583
'cause we wanna sort of
865
00:28:24,667 --> 00:28:25,769
take you through the story,
866
00:28:25,793 --> 00:28:26,917
uh...
867
00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:28,667
- Yeah, okay.
868
00:28:28,750 --> 00:28:30,125
- Yeah, I don't... I don't know.
869
00:28:30,208 --> 00:28:31,415
Uh, let me merge Melena
870
00:28:31,439 --> 00:28:32,667
onto the call.
871
00:28:32,750 --> 00:28:34,560
- Is that okay?
- Sure.
872
00:28:39,333 --> 00:28:46,125
♪ ♪
873
00:28:46,208 --> 00:28:48,060
I don't have a game plan.
874
00:28:48,084 --> 00:28:49,958
Zero.
875
00:28:50,042 --> 00:28:52,977
I haven't told the story
876
00:28:53,001 --> 00:28:55,958
in probably a decade,
877
00:28:56,042 --> 00:28:58,623
and talking to the reporters
878
00:28:58,647 --> 00:29:01,250
just brought it all back.
879
00:29:01,333 --> 00:29:08,500
♪ ♪
880
00:29:15,042 --> 00:29:17,500
That particular night,
881
00:29:17,583 --> 00:29:19,123
we were all at the Bowery Bar,
882
00:29:19,147 --> 00:29:20,708
which was very common,
883
00:29:20,792 --> 00:29:23,208
and he left ahead of me,
884
00:29:23,292 --> 00:29:25,227
which I think I actually
885
00:29:25,251 --> 00:29:27,208
purposely waited for
886
00:29:27,292 --> 00:29:28,500
because there had been times
887
00:29:28,583 --> 00:29:29,894
when he'd sort of
888
00:29:29,918 --> 00:29:31,250
followed me out,
889
00:29:31,333 --> 00:29:33,810
and I had to walk by
890
00:29:33,834 --> 00:29:36,333
his apartment to get a cab,
891
00:29:36,417 --> 00:29:37,958
and he stopped me
892
00:29:38,042 --> 00:29:39,685
- and he asked me
- where I was going,
893
00:29:39,792 --> 00:29:40,852
And I said I was going home
894
00:29:40,876 --> 00:29:41,958
and I was just getting cash
895
00:29:42,042 --> 00:29:43,500
to get a cab,
896
00:29:43,583 --> 00:29:45,434
- and he was like,
- "Don't be ridiculous, Money.
897
00:29:45,458 --> 00:29:46,851
- "Like, you've got
- this hit record.
898
00:29:46,875 --> 00:29:48,083
"Like, you're a big deal.
899
00:29:48,167 --> 00:29:49,227
"Like,
900
00:29:49,251 --> 00:29:50,333
you're a big executive now.
901
00:29:50,417 --> 00:29:52,582
Why don't you, um,
902
00:29:52,606 --> 00:29:54,792
let me order you a car?"
903
00:29:54,875 --> 00:29:56,873
And so I went upstairs,
904
00:29:56,897 --> 00:29:58,917
and this was the first time
905
00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:00,268
- I literally walked
- into his apartment
906
00:30:00,292 --> 00:30:01,708
And I was alone,
907
00:30:01,792 --> 00:30:04,102
and I... I immediately
908
00:30:04,126 --> 00:30:06,458
felt uncomfortable,
909
00:30:06,542 --> 00:30:07,875
and so then I said,
910
00:30:07,958 --> 00:30:09,706
"Why don't I wait downstairs
911
00:30:09,730 --> 00:30:11,500
for the car?"
912
00:30:11,583 --> 00:30:12,875
And he said,
913
00:30:12,958 --> 00:30:14,519
- "No, no, no, no,
- no problem, Money,
914
00:30:14,625 --> 00:30:17,123
"but there's a demo that I got
915
00:30:17,147 --> 00:30:19,667
that you're gonna love.
916
00:30:19,750 --> 00:30:21,769
I want you to hear that first,"
917
00:30:21,793 --> 00:30:23,833
which is catnip for me.
918
00:30:23,917 --> 00:30:24,998
I was like, "Really?
919
00:30:25,022 --> 00:30:26,125
Okay.
920
00:30:26,208 --> 00:30:28,019
"Um, why don't I
921
00:30:28,043 --> 00:30:29,875
take it with me?
922
00:30:29,958 --> 00:30:31,875
I'll take it with me."
923
00:30:31,958 --> 00:30:34,583
And he's like, "Okay, cool.
924
00:30:34,667 --> 00:30:36,542
Um, it's in the CD player."
925
00:30:36,625 --> 00:30:38,019
I'm like,
926
00:30:38,043 --> 00:30:39,458
"Where's the CD player?"
927
00:30:39,542 --> 00:30:40,833
"It's in my bedroom.
928
00:30:40,917 --> 00:30:42,810
- Just go in there
- and make a left."
929
00:30:42,917 --> 00:30:45,394
So I go in and I see
930
00:30:45,418 --> 00:30:47,917
this huge, daunting stereo.
931
00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,476
- I remember I was struggling
- to figure out
932
00:30:49,500 --> 00:30:51,917
How to turn it on.
933
00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:53,250
The next thing I know,
934
00:30:53,333 --> 00:30:55,519
he is naked
935
00:30:55,543 --> 00:30:57,750
wearing a condom,
936
00:30:57,833 --> 00:31:00,583
and he just grabbed me.
937
00:31:00,667 --> 00:31:03,292
He just grabbed me,
938
00:31:03,375 --> 00:31:05,831
and he just threw me on the bed
939
00:31:05,855 --> 00:31:08,333
and he wrestled me to the bed
940
00:31:08,417 --> 00:31:10,686
and pins me down,
941
00:31:10,710 --> 00:31:13,000
and I'm fighting,
942
00:31:13,083 --> 00:31:15,042
and I'm saying no.
943
00:31:15,125 --> 00:31:16,769
He's telling me to stop
944
00:31:16,793 --> 00:31:18,458
fighting in a very cold...
945
00:31:21,917 --> 00:31:25,082
Menacing,
946
00:31:25,106 --> 00:31:28,292
detached voice
947
00:31:28,375 --> 00:31:30,248
that I'd never,
948
00:31:30,272 --> 00:31:32,167
ever heard from him before.
949
00:31:32,250 --> 00:31:35,081
Um, I see handcuffs dangling
950
00:31:35,105 --> 00:31:37,958
from the canopy.
951
00:31:38,042 --> 00:31:39,250
I'm not saying for one second
952
00:31:39,333 --> 00:31:41,102
- I had any interaction
- with those,
953
00:31:41,208 --> 00:31:43,685
But they scared me,
954
00:31:43,709 --> 00:31:46,208
and I just blacked out.
955
00:31:46,292 --> 00:31:48,625
I blacked out.
956
00:31:48,708 --> 00:31:52,042
I blacked out,
957
00:31:52,125 --> 00:31:54,165
which is something survivors
958
00:31:54,189 --> 00:31:56,250
often do.
959
00:31:56,333 --> 00:31:57,706
It's, like,
960
00:31:57,730 --> 00:31:59,125
a self-preservation tactic.
961
00:31:59,208 --> 00:32:03,667
♪ ♪
962
00:32:03,750 --> 00:32:05,250
The next thing I remember,
963
00:32:05,333 --> 00:32:07,019
I was in the bathtub
964
00:32:07,043 --> 00:32:08,750
with him naked
965
00:32:08,833 --> 00:32:10,250
and he says,
966
00:32:10,333 --> 00:32:11,560
"And so now that you
967
00:32:11,584 --> 00:32:12,833
and I are fucking, Drew,
968
00:32:12,917 --> 00:32:14,394
we'll hang out
969
00:32:14,418 --> 00:32:15,917
and we'll fuck all the time."
970
00:32:16,000 --> 00:32:18,290
And I was just like,
971
00:32:18,314 --> 00:32:20,625
"I'm gonna go."
972
00:32:20,708 --> 00:32:21,893
- I don't know if I said,
- "I'm gonna go."
973
00:32:21,917 --> 00:32:22,934
Maybe I said I'm gonna go.
974
00:32:22,958 --> 00:32:24,185
- I got out,
- I'm naked,
975
00:32:24,292 --> 00:32:25,833
I'm wet,
976
00:32:25,917 --> 00:32:28,498
I'm naked walking around his bed
977
00:32:28,522 --> 00:32:31,125
trying to find my clothes,
978
00:32:31,208 --> 00:32:32,667
and I walk home.
979
00:32:32,750 --> 00:32:34,665
I lived 22 blocks away.
980
00:32:34,689 --> 00:32:36,625
I walk home.
981
00:32:39,042 --> 00:32:41,042
And when I got home,
982
00:32:41,125 --> 00:32:43,873
I got in the shower
983
00:32:43,897 --> 00:32:46,667
with all my clothes on,
984
00:32:46,750 --> 00:32:48,602
- and I took, like,
- a cold shower,
985
00:32:48,708 --> 00:32:50,833
Lying down just crying,
986
00:32:50,917 --> 00:32:52,457
and I just laid there
987
00:32:52,481 --> 00:32:54,042
for a really long time.
988
00:32:54,125 --> 00:33:00,625
♪ ♪
989
00:33:02,458 --> 00:33:04,165
I was reduced to nothing
990
00:33:04,189 --> 00:33:05,917
in that moment.
991
00:33:06,000 --> 00:33:08,833
I was nothing.
992
00:33:08,917 --> 00:33:10,667
I was trash.
993
00:33:13,958 --> 00:33:15,583
Nothing about me mattered.
994
00:33:15,667 --> 00:33:17,248
Nothing about anything that
995
00:33:17,272 --> 00:33:18,875
makes me who I am mattered.
996
00:33:18,958 --> 00:33:21,748
I was a physical object.
997
00:33:21,772 --> 00:33:24,583
I was a physical device.
998
00:33:24,667 --> 00:33:26,333
I was a physical...
999
00:33:27,917 --> 00:33:29,644
I... I... some physical thing
1000
00:33:29,668 --> 00:33:31,417
that he utilized
1001
00:33:31,500 --> 00:33:33,083
for his pleasure.
1002
00:33:33,167 --> 00:33:39,542
♪ ♪
1003
00:33:39,625 --> 00:33:41,185
- At that time,
- when she came to me,
1004
00:33:41,292 --> 00:33:43,227
- She had told me that she had
- been assaulted
1005
00:33:43,333 --> 00:33:46,208
A few days earlier.
1006
00:33:46,292 --> 00:33:48,102
- I believed her
- when she told me.
1007
00:33:48,208 --> 00:33:49,602
I could see it in her face,
1008
00:33:49,626 --> 00:33:51,042
like, something had happened.
1009
00:33:51,125 --> 00:33:52,727
- That spirit,
- that light wasn't there.
1010
00:33:52,833 --> 00:33:54,185
Like, it had been, like,
1011
00:33:54,209 --> 00:33:55,583
almost, like, taken away.
1012
00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:59,750
♪ ♪
1013
00:33:59,833 --> 00:34:01,560
Then I had asked her, um,
1014
00:34:01,584 --> 00:34:03,333
"Are you all right?
1015
00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:05,542
Do you wanna go to the police?"
1016
00:34:05,625 --> 00:34:07,644
And she was reluctant
1017
00:34:07,668 --> 00:34:09,708
because she was like,
1018
00:34:09,792 --> 00:34:11,272
- "No one's gonna
- take me seriously.
1019
00:34:11,375 --> 00:34:12,958
"He's, like, Russell Simmons.
1020
00:34:13,042 --> 00:34:14,458
Like, who's gonna believe me?"
1021
00:34:14,542 --> 00:34:15,769
- I think I must have
1022
00:34:15,793 --> 00:34:17,042
continued working there
1023
00:34:17,125 --> 00:34:18,292
for a little while longer.
1024
00:34:18,375 --> 00:34:20,269
- I remember going in
- for some meeting
1025
00:34:20,375 --> 00:34:21,417
And he was in the building
1026
00:34:21,500 --> 00:34:24,125
and asked me to sit on his lap,
1027
00:34:24,208 --> 00:34:25,790
and I just remember
1028
00:34:25,814 --> 00:34:27,417
feeling like, "My God."
1029
00:34:27,500 --> 00:34:29,373
I'm like...
1030
00:34:31,375 --> 00:34:33,708
"He thinks I'm that person now."
1031
00:34:36,042 --> 00:34:39,208
"I'm not that person."
1032
00:34:39,292 --> 00:34:40,708
And so then I, like,
1033
00:34:40,792 --> 00:34:42,082
submitted a handwritten letter
1034
00:34:42,106 --> 00:34:43,417
of resignation
1035
00:34:43,500 --> 00:34:45,559
- which I wrote once and had,
- like, all these cross-outs,
1036
00:34:45,583 --> 00:34:46,685
But I literally did not even
1037
00:34:46,709 --> 00:34:47,833
have the physical strength
1038
00:34:47,917 --> 00:34:49,207
to crumple it up
1039
00:34:49,231 --> 00:34:50,542
and start again.
1040
00:34:52,292 --> 00:34:53,726
- And they were like,
- "Do you want more money?
1041
00:34:53,750 --> 00:34:55,477
- "Do you wanna be
- a vice president?
1042
00:34:55,583 --> 00:34:56,851
- How much money
- is it gonna take?"
1043
00:34:56,875 --> 00:34:59,375
This is Russell talking.
1044
00:34:59,458 --> 00:35:00,540
And then finally Lyor
1045
00:35:00,564 --> 00:35:01,667
was like, "Stop.
1046
00:35:01,750 --> 00:35:04,000
"Stop talking.
1047
00:35:04,083 --> 00:35:05,894
"Let her go.
1048
00:35:05,918 --> 00:35:07,750
She's gone.
1049
00:35:07,833 --> 00:35:09,250
Let her go."
1050
00:35:10,750 --> 00:35:12,165
And that was it.
1051
00:35:23,417 --> 00:35:25,500
Yeah.
1052
00:35:28,625 --> 00:35:30,394
So...
1053
00:35:54,167 --> 00:35:55,748
Wait, that was a call
1054
00:35:55,772 --> 00:35:57,375
from California.
1055
00:35:59,083 --> 00:36:00,542
That's scary.
1056
00:36:02,292 --> 00:36:03,833
Hey, Joe.
1057
00:36:03,917 --> 00:36:05,290
Like, every 310 phone call
1058
00:36:05,314 --> 00:36:06,708
I get today,
1059
00:36:06,792 --> 00:36:08,476
- I have to tell,
- you I've had a heart attack.
1060
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,206
I'm like... I think it's, like,
1061
00:36:10,230 --> 00:36:11,958
either Russell or LA,
1062
00:36:12,042 --> 00:36:13,351
- and I'm like,
- "Oh, my God, oh, my God,
1063
00:36:13,375 --> 00:36:14,726
- Should I not answer?
- Oh, my God."
1064
00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:25,667
- Mm-hmm.
1065
00:36:27,125 --> 00:36:28,542
- Sure, okay.
1066
00:36:29,750 --> 00:36:31,083
- Mm.
1067
00:36:31,167 --> 00:36:33,208
Okay, okay.
1068
00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,061
"The New York Times"
1069
00:36:36,085 --> 00:36:37,167
called me back and said
1070
00:36:37,250 --> 00:36:38,498
there were other women and
1071
00:36:38,522 --> 00:36:39,792
there were other black women
1072
00:36:39,875 --> 00:36:41,644
who've been assaulted
1073
00:36:41,668 --> 00:36:43,458
by Russell,
1074
00:36:43,542 --> 00:36:44,726
- that they won't
- go on the record
1075
00:36:44,750 --> 00:36:47,750
Unless I go on the record,
1076
00:36:47,833 --> 00:36:49,790
but I'm still terrified
1077
00:36:49,814 --> 00:36:51,792
of the backlash.
1078
00:36:51,875 --> 00:36:57,750
♪ ♪
1079
00:36:57,833 --> 00:36:59,351
- I remember my senior year
- and Stanford,
1080
00:36:59,375 --> 00:37:00,873
Watching
1081
00:37:00,897 --> 00:37:02,417
the Anita Hill hearings.
1082
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,476
- Professor, do you swear
- to tell the whole truth
1083
00:37:04,500 --> 00:37:06,340
- And nothing but the truth,
- so help you God?
1084
00:37:06,375 --> 00:37:07,708
- I do.
1085
00:37:07,792 --> 00:37:09,519
- He spoke about acts
- that he had seen
1086
00:37:09,625 --> 00:37:11,540
In pornographic films
1087
00:37:11,564 --> 00:37:13,500
involving such matters as women
1088
00:37:13,583 --> 00:37:15,417
having sex with animals
1089
00:37:15,500 --> 00:37:17,519
and films showing group sex
1090
00:37:17,543 --> 00:37:19,583
or rape scenes.
1091
00:37:19,667 --> 00:37:21,227
- I was like, "Well, that
1092
00:37:21,251 --> 00:37:22,833
didn't go very well for her.
1093
00:37:22,917 --> 00:37:26,125
"He's on the Supreme Court now.
1094
00:37:26,208 --> 00:37:28,208
I'm never gonna do that."
1095
00:37:28,292 --> 00:37:29,602
- Now, again,
1096
00:37:29,626 --> 00:37:30,958
for the record,
1097
00:37:31,042 --> 00:37:33,083
did he just say,
1098
00:37:33,167 --> 00:37:34,769
"I have great physical
1099
00:37:34,793 --> 00:37:36,417
capability and attributes,"
1100
00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:37,833
or was he more graphic in...
1101
00:37:37,917 --> 00:37:39,500
- He was much more graphic.
1102
00:37:39,583 --> 00:37:41,250
- Can you tell us what he said?
1103
00:37:41,333 --> 00:37:43,498
- Well, I can tell you that
1104
00:37:43,522 --> 00:37:45,708
he compared his penis size,
1105
00:37:45,792 --> 00:37:48,519
uh, he measured his penis
1106
00:37:48,543 --> 00:37:51,292
in terms of le... length,
1107
00:37:51,375 --> 00:37:54,667
um, those kinds of comments.
1108
00:37:54,750 --> 00:37:56,042
- I mean, that's one thing
1109
00:37:56,125 --> 00:37:58,227
about being a victim
1110
00:37:58,251 --> 00:38:00,375
of sexual abuse.
1111
00:38:00,458 --> 00:38:02,958
The words are on your mouth.
1112
00:38:03,042 --> 00:38:04,373
You're the one that has
1113
00:38:04,397 --> 00:38:05,750
to disgust the world
1114
00:38:05,833 --> 00:38:07,393
- by telling them
- what happened to you,
1115
00:38:07,417 --> 00:38:09,936
So you then become associated
1116
00:38:09,960 --> 00:38:12,500
with this vile,
1117
00:38:12,583 --> 00:38:14,542
vile act.
1118
00:38:14,625 --> 00:38:16,269
You are defiled again because
1119
00:38:16,293 --> 00:38:17,958
you have to tell people,
1120
00:38:18,042 --> 00:38:19,458
and they see it on your lips.
1121
00:38:19,542 --> 00:38:21,352
- Unequivocally,
1122
00:38:21,376 --> 00:38:23,208
uncategorically,
1123
00:38:23,292 --> 00:38:25,102
that I deny each
1124
00:38:25,126 --> 00:38:26,958
and every single allegation
1125
00:38:27,042 --> 00:38:29,186
against me today
1126
00:38:29,210 --> 00:38:31,375
that suggested in any way
1127
00:38:31,458 --> 00:38:33,831
that I had conversations
1128
00:38:33,855 --> 00:38:36,250
of a sexual nature...
1129
00:38:36,333 --> 00:38:38,206
- And then the person who did it
1130
00:38:38,230 --> 00:38:40,125
is shocked to the core,
1131
00:38:40,208 --> 00:38:41,542
as is society,
1132
00:38:41,625 --> 00:38:42,602
so then they're aligned
1133
00:38:42,626 --> 00:38:43,626
with society like...
1134
00:38:45,230 --> 00:38:46,750
Clutching their pearls.
1135
00:38:46,833 --> 00:38:48,852
- It is a high-tech lynching
1136
00:38:48,876 --> 00:38:50,917
for uppity blacks
1137
00:38:51,000 --> 00:38:52,665
who in any way deign
1138
00:38:52,689 --> 00:38:54,375
to think for themselves.
1139
00:38:54,458 --> 00:38:56,540
- And you have this tawdry,
1140
00:38:56,564 --> 00:38:58,667
sordid
1141
00:38:58,750 --> 00:39:00,936
nastiness on your lips,
1142
00:39:00,960 --> 00:39:03,167
so you seem gross.
1143
00:39:03,250 --> 00:39:04,625
- There are a lot of people...
1144
00:39:04,708 --> 00:39:05,769
And you know it, Desiree...
1145
00:39:05,793 --> 00:39:06,875
Who say
1146
00:39:06,958 --> 00:39:09,102
2:00 in the morning
1147
00:39:09,126 --> 00:39:11,292
in a man's room with beds,
1148
00:39:11,375 --> 00:39:13,040
what... what were you doing there
1149
00:39:13,064 --> 00:39:14,750
at 2:00 in the morning?
1150
00:39:14,833 --> 00:39:16,625
- I just wasn't thinking.
1151
00:39:16,708 --> 00:39:18,917
It... there's... you know,
1152
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,708
there's no other explanation.
1153
00:39:20,792 --> 00:39:22,560
- And then I remember
- Desiree Washington,
1154
00:39:22,667 --> 00:39:24,602
Who was the pageant winner
1155
00:39:24,626 --> 00:39:26,583
who was raped by Mike Tyson,
1156
00:39:26,667 --> 00:39:28,040
and, like, the black community
1157
00:39:28,064 --> 00:39:29,458
was not kind to her.
1158
00:39:29,542 --> 00:39:30,958
- "The Washington Post"
1159
00:39:31,042 --> 00:39:32,207
conducted interviews
1160
00:39:32,231 --> 00:39:33,417
with young women
1161
00:39:33,500 --> 00:39:34,936
in college of your age,
1162
00:39:34,960 --> 00:39:36,417
black women,
1163
00:39:36,500 --> 00:39:37,706
and they didn't seem to show
1164
00:39:37,730 --> 00:39:38,958
a lot of sympathy.
1165
00:39:39,042 --> 00:39:40,977
One said, "18-year-olds are not
1166
00:39:41,001 --> 00:39:42,958
naive in this day and age.
1167
00:39:43,042 --> 00:39:45,477
- What did she think a guy wanted
- at 2:00 in the morning?"
1168
00:39:45,583 --> 00:39:47,248
Another said, "She asked for it.
1169
00:39:47,272 --> 00:39:48,958
She got it.
1170
00:39:49,042 --> 00:39:51,292
It's not fair to cry rape."
1171
00:39:51,375 --> 00:39:53,125
- It's sad.
1172
00:39:53,208 --> 00:39:55,352
It's sad that women
1173
00:39:55,376 --> 00:39:57,542
in 1992 feel that way.
1174
00:39:57,625 --> 00:39:59,394
- It's like,
- "Oh, no.
1175
00:39:59,500 --> 00:40:01,500
"No, no, no, no, no, no, no.
1176
00:40:01,583 --> 00:40:02,665
"I'm never, ever
1177
00:40:02,689 --> 00:40:03,792
gonna be that person.
1178
00:40:03,875 --> 00:40:06,292
"He's Russell Simmons.
1179
00:40:06,375 --> 00:40:08,542
He's the king of hip-hop."
1180
00:40:10,125 --> 00:40:12,102
"No, I'm never gonna be
1181
00:40:12,126 --> 00:40:14,125
that person.
1182
00:40:14,208 --> 00:40:16,269
"The black community
1183
00:40:16,293 --> 00:40:18,375
will hate my guts.
1184
00:40:18,458 --> 00:40:21,375
No."
1185
00:40:21,458 --> 00:40:23,540
- Black women's need, um,
1186
00:40:23,564 --> 00:40:25,667
and really duty that we feel
1187
00:40:25,750 --> 00:40:27,560
- to protect black men
- is definitely
1188
00:40:27,667 --> 00:40:29,226
- A hindrance
- to protecting ourselves.
1189
00:40:29,250 --> 00:40:30,311
There's this added layer
1190
00:40:30,335 --> 00:40:31,417
in the black community
1191
00:40:31,500 --> 00:40:32,727
that we have to contend with
1192
00:40:32,751 --> 00:40:34,000
of, like,
1193
00:40:34,083 --> 00:40:35,581
"Oh, you're gonna put this
1194
00:40:35,605 --> 00:40:37,125
before the race?"
1195
00:40:37,208 --> 00:40:38,976
- Right, "You're gonna put this...
- Because this...
1196
00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:40,769
- "you let this thing happen
- to you,
1197
00:40:40,875 --> 00:40:41,936
Now we have to pay for it
1198
00:40:41,960 --> 00:40:43,042
as a race?"
1199
00:40:43,125 --> 00:40:44,269
And... and then we're silenced
1200
00:40:44,293 --> 00:40:45,458
even more.
1201
00:40:45,542 --> 00:40:46,750
- On the one hand,
1202
00:40:46,833 --> 00:40:48,727
- they are in an incredible amount
- of pain
1203
00:40:48,833 --> 00:40:50,456
And want their perpetrator
1204
00:40:50,480 --> 00:40:52,125
to be punished,
1205
00:40:52,208 --> 00:40:53,831
but they're also fearful
1206
00:40:53,855 --> 00:40:55,500
of being cast as the person
1207
00:40:55,583 --> 00:40:56,935
who is putting a black man
1208
00:40:56,959 --> 00:40:58,333
in the line of fire.
1209
00:40:58,417 --> 00:41:00,290
- Many black women will allow
1210
00:41:00,314 --> 00:41:02,208
race loyalty to buy them
1211
00:41:02,292 --> 00:41:04,477
an early tombstone because
1212
00:41:04,501 --> 00:41:06,708
they cannot reconcile
1213
00:41:06,792 --> 00:41:08,875
the idea of engaging in
1214
00:41:08,958 --> 00:41:10,602
- American criminal
- justice system
1215
00:41:10,708 --> 00:41:12,102
That has been so brutal
1216
00:41:12,126 --> 00:41:13,542
to black men.
1217
00:41:13,625 --> 00:41:15,025
- This whole
- ride-or-die mentality
1218
00:41:15,083 --> 00:41:16,583
Is killing black women.
1219
00:41:16,667 --> 00:41:18,518
- There's part of us that, um,
- we're innately designed
1220
00:41:18,542 --> 00:41:19,936
To protect them because America
1221
00:41:19,960 --> 00:41:21,375
destroys our men, right?
1222
00:41:21,458 --> 00:41:22,898
- So we're designed
- to protect them
1223
00:41:23,000 --> 00:41:24,727
From what America
1224
00:41:24,751 --> 00:41:26,500
has historically done to them.
1225
00:41:26,583 --> 00:41:28,852
- From slavery to beyond, like,
- to Jim Crow,
1226
00:41:28,958 --> 00:41:29,956
Like, we're designed
1227
00:41:29,980 --> 00:41:31,000
to innately protect them
1228
00:41:31,083 --> 00:41:33,250
'cause we know the struggle.
1229
00:41:33,333 --> 00:41:34,792
- If we go back historically,
1230
00:41:34,875 --> 00:41:36,498
we know that one
1231
00:41:36,522 --> 00:41:38,167
of the allegations
1232
00:41:38,250 --> 00:41:39,581
that led to the lynching
1233
00:41:39,605 --> 00:41:40,958
of black men
1234
00:41:41,042 --> 00:41:42,833
has been sexual assault.
1235
00:41:42,917 --> 00:41:45,269
So there has developed over
1236
00:41:45,293 --> 00:41:47,667
time in the black community
1237
00:41:47,750 --> 00:41:49,165
an awareness that lynching
1238
00:41:49,189 --> 00:41:50,625
is an expression
1239
00:41:50,708 --> 00:41:52,417
of white supremacy.
1240
00:41:52,500 --> 00:41:54,915
It's a particular expression,
1241
00:41:54,939 --> 00:41:57,375
the sexual projection
1242
00:41:57,458 --> 00:41:59,248
of black men
1243
00:41:59,272 --> 00:42:01,083
as being dangerous.
1244
00:42:01,167 --> 00:42:03,061
- You're worried
1245
00:42:03,085 --> 00:42:05,000
as a black woman
1246
00:42:05,083 --> 00:42:06,519
that you'll say something
1247
00:42:06,543 --> 00:42:08,000
that will have
1248
00:42:08,083 --> 00:42:09,623
consequences that you
1249
00:42:09,647 --> 00:42:11,208
hadn't anticipated.
1250
00:42:11,292 --> 00:42:12,352
Even down to just calling
1251
00:42:12,376 --> 00:42:13,458
the police.
1252
00:42:13,542 --> 00:42:15,269
- Your responsibility
1253
00:42:15,293 --> 00:42:17,042
to muffle, you know,
1254
00:42:17,125 --> 00:42:18,415
your screams is greater
1255
00:42:18,439 --> 00:42:19,750
than his responsibility
1256
00:42:19,833 --> 00:42:21,583
not to do it in the first place.
1257
00:42:21,667 --> 00:42:23,352
- It's a very, very terrible
1258
00:42:23,376 --> 00:42:25,083
burden to bear
1259
00:42:25,167 --> 00:42:26,998
to know that you might still
1260
00:42:27,022 --> 00:42:28,875
be judged as somehow
1261
00:42:28,958 --> 00:42:32,250
being a traitor.
1262
00:42:32,333 --> 00:42:35,583
- Are we gonna pile on?
1263
00:42:35,667 --> 00:42:37,373
We're gonna add fuel
1264
00:42:37,397 --> 00:42:39,125
to the fire of the myth
1265
00:42:39,208 --> 00:42:41,269
of the sexually aggressive
1266
00:42:41,293 --> 00:42:43,375
black man?
1267
00:42:43,458 --> 00:42:46,333
I don't wanna do that.
1268
00:42:48,375 --> 00:42:49,831
I wanted Russell
1269
00:42:49,855 --> 00:42:51,333
to be a hero too.
1270
00:42:52,667 --> 00:42:54,207
I mean, for 22 years,
1271
00:42:54,231 --> 00:42:55,792
I took it for the team.
1272
00:42:55,875 --> 00:42:57,560
- Russell Simmons is the king
- of hip-hop,
1273
00:42:57,667 --> 00:42:59,061
And I was proud of him
1274
00:42:59,085 --> 00:43:00,500
for that.
1275
00:43:01,542 --> 00:43:03,458
So I took it for the team.
1276
00:43:06,792 --> 00:43:07,915
I didn't wanna let
1277
00:43:07,939 --> 00:43:09,083
the culture down.
1278
00:43:11,958 --> 00:43:14,000
I love the culture.
1279
00:43:15,750 --> 00:43:18,167
I loved Russell too.
1280
00:43:26,750 --> 00:43:27,977
- Turn your head
1281
00:43:28,001 --> 00:43:29,250
to the left for me.
1282
00:43:32,667 --> 00:43:34,292
Turn to the right.
1283
00:43:48,042 --> 00:43:49,582
I think it's important
1284
00:43:49,606 --> 00:43:51,167
that you do tell your story
1285
00:43:51,250 --> 00:43:53,290
because people, like...
1286
00:43:53,314 --> 00:43:55,375
Little girls need it.
1287
00:43:55,458 --> 00:43:56,706
Even grown women with little
1288
00:43:56,730 --> 00:43:58,000
girls inside of them
1289
00:43:58,083 --> 00:43:59,415
need it... to hear,
1290
00:43:59,439 --> 00:44:00,792
like, "It wasn't just me.
1291
00:44:00,875 --> 00:44:03,059
- Oh, my God, somebody else
- went through the same thing."
1292
00:44:03,083 --> 00:44:04,208
Like...
1293
00:44:05,250 --> 00:44:06,790
And you're showing, like,
1294
00:44:06,814 --> 00:44:08,375
your daughter, like,
1295
00:44:08,458 --> 00:44:10,477
"Look, no matter what happens,
1296
00:44:10,501 --> 00:44:12,542
you can overcome it."
1297
00:44:15,458 --> 00:44:16,852
And really, more people
1298
00:44:16,876 --> 00:44:18,292
are abused than they talk about.
1299
00:44:18,375 --> 00:44:19,935
- You know?
- Mm-hmm.
1300
00:44:22,458 --> 00:44:24,042
Yeah.
1301
00:44:29,583 --> 00:44:33,417
♪ ♪
1302
00:44:33,500 --> 00:44:35,019
- I grew up in a certain part
1303
00:44:35,043 --> 00:44:36,583
of the Bronx.
1304
00:44:36,667 --> 00:44:38,186
When you used to go outside,
1305
00:44:38,210 --> 00:44:39,750
on every corner,
1306
00:44:39,833 --> 00:44:41,375
somebody was playing or rapping.
1307
00:44:41,458 --> 00:44:42,706
You have Grandmaster Flash
1308
00:44:42,730 --> 00:44:44,000
playing on one corner
1309
00:44:44,083 --> 00:44:45,581
and you could have Kool Herc
1310
00:44:45,605 --> 00:44:47,125
playing on the other.
1311
00:44:47,208 --> 00:44:48,831
It was empowering, like,
1312
00:44:48,855 --> 00:44:50,500
to hear somebody's talking
1313
00:44:50,583 --> 00:44:52,144
about where you're coming from
1314
00:44:52,168 --> 00:44:53,750
and... and actually making
1315
00:44:53,833 --> 00:44:55,185
our neighborhood
1316
00:44:55,209 --> 00:44:56,583
look fabulous, you know?
1317
00:44:56,667 --> 00:44:58,019
- And me,
- I felt important.
1318
00:44:58,125 --> 00:45:00,269
- You know, when we discovered
- hip-hop and rap,
1319
00:45:00,375 --> 00:45:02,958
That's... we went for it.
1320
00:45:03,042 --> 00:45:08,917
♪ ♪
1321
00:45:09,000 --> 00:45:11,623
Mercedes Ladies is the first
1322
00:45:11,647 --> 00:45:14,292
all-female DJ and rap group
1323
00:45:14,375 --> 00:45:17,167
in hip-hop history.
1324
00:45:17,250 --> 00:45:18,394
We had to be tough because
1325
00:45:18,418 --> 00:45:19,583
we was going against
1326
00:45:19,667 --> 00:45:21,833
an all-male arena,
1327
00:45:21,917 --> 00:45:24,292
and that's how we met Russell,
1328
00:45:24,375 --> 00:45:25,623
and so I told him
1329
00:45:25,647 --> 00:45:26,917
Mercedes Ladies is looking
1330
00:45:27,000 --> 00:45:28,625
for some serious management,
1331
00:45:28,708 --> 00:45:30,060
so he's like,
1332
00:45:30,084 --> 00:45:31,458
"Oh, yeah, I heard of y'all,
1333
00:45:31,542 --> 00:45:33,394
- and I wanna get you
- in the studio."
1334
00:45:33,500 --> 00:45:34,581
So for three,
1335
00:45:34,605 --> 00:45:35,708
four months straight,
1336
00:45:35,792 --> 00:45:36,936
we was just rehearsing
1337
00:45:36,960 --> 00:45:38,125
every single day.
1338
00:45:38,208 --> 00:45:39,560
He had us in there for hours,
1339
00:45:39,584 --> 00:45:40,958
and we was like,
1340
00:45:41,042 --> 00:45:43,002
- "We're finally gonna get
- our chance, you know?
1341
00:45:43,083 --> 00:45:44,831
After the hard work,
1342
00:45:44,855 --> 00:45:46,625
it's finally paying off."
1343
00:45:50,000 --> 00:45:51,792
And then one night, he says,
1344
00:45:51,875 --> 00:45:53,644
- "You wanna come see
- my new office?"
1345
00:45:53,750 --> 00:45:55,352
It was a little, small office,
1346
00:45:55,376 --> 00:45:57,000
and then he's like,
1347
00:45:57,083 --> 00:45:58,458
"Sit down, sit down."
1348
00:45:58,542 --> 00:46:00,477
- So then he sat down
- next to me,
1349
00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:02,123
So I thought we was
1350
00:46:02,147 --> 00:46:03,708
gonna talk business,
1351
00:46:03,792 --> 00:46:05,833
and the next thing you know,
1352
00:46:05,917 --> 00:46:08,394
I'm pinned down to the, um...
1353
00:46:08,418 --> 00:46:10,917
The couch that he had,
1354
00:46:11,000 --> 00:46:12,248
and I could remember
1355
00:46:12,272 --> 00:46:13,542
I kept saying,
1356
00:46:13,625 --> 00:46:15,143
- "What are you doing?
- Like, get off of me.
1357
00:46:15,167 --> 00:46:16,458
What are you doing?"
1358
00:46:16,542 --> 00:46:18,748
So I'm trying
1359
00:46:18,772 --> 00:46:21,000
to force him off of me.
1360
00:46:21,083 --> 00:46:22,458
It happened so fast.
1361
00:46:22,542 --> 00:46:23,561
He had his pants down,
1362
00:46:23,585 --> 00:46:24,625
and it just...
1363
00:46:24,708 --> 00:46:27,123
He just took, took,
1364
00:46:27,147 --> 00:46:29,583
took what he wanted.
1365
00:46:32,583 --> 00:46:34,500
♪ ♪
1366
00:46:34,583 --> 00:46:35,810
When you're raised in that
1367
00:46:35,834 --> 00:46:37,083
environment in the hood,
1368
00:46:37,167 --> 00:46:39,102
everybody was taught
1369
00:46:39,126 --> 00:46:41,083
that things happened.
1370
00:46:41,167 --> 00:46:44,125
You just didn't talk about it,
1371
00:46:44,208 --> 00:46:45,873
and so I just always
1372
00:46:45,897 --> 00:46:47,583
put on this front.
1373
00:46:47,667 --> 00:46:50,375
Like, everybody always say,
1374
00:46:50,458 --> 00:46:51,917
um, "Sheri, how you doing?"
1375
00:46:52,000 --> 00:46:53,727
- And this is me,
- always with a smile.
1376
00:46:53,833 --> 00:46:55,185
- "Oh, I'm okay.
- I'm okay,"
1377
00:46:55,292 --> 00:46:56,561
And then I, um,
1378
00:46:56,585 --> 00:46:57,875
finally realized,
1379
00:46:57,958 --> 00:46:59,373
all these years,
1380
00:46:59,397 --> 00:47:00,833
I wasn't okay.
1381
00:47:00,917 --> 00:47:02,917
I wasn't okay,
1382
00:47:03,000 --> 00:47:06,352
but I'm taking more control
1383
00:47:06,376 --> 00:47:09,750
of myself now
1384
00:47:09,833 --> 00:47:12,417
and forgiving myself
1385
00:47:12,500 --> 00:47:14,144
and... and starting to know
1386
00:47:14,168 --> 00:47:15,833
who my... my worth is
1387
00:47:15,917 --> 00:47:17,707
and not... my worth is not based
1388
00:47:17,731 --> 00:47:19,542
on things I've been in life
1389
00:47:19,625 --> 00:47:20,852
and all the unfairness
1390
00:47:20,876 --> 00:47:22,125
that was done to me in life.
1391
00:47:22,208 --> 00:47:24,019
My... my worth is based on that
1392
00:47:24,043 --> 00:47:25,875
I got through these things
1393
00:47:25,958 --> 00:47:28,708
and I'm still standing.
1394
00:47:28,792 --> 00:47:35,958
♪ ♪
1395
00:47:43,167 --> 00:47:45,250
- It was in '94.
1396
00:47:45,333 --> 00:47:47,685
I was modeling.
1397
00:47:47,709 --> 00:47:50,083
I was living in Europe.
1398
00:47:50,167 --> 00:47:53,750
I was in Italy working,
1399
00:47:53,833 --> 00:47:56,477
and I came back because I...
1400
00:47:56,501 --> 00:47:59,167
There was some personal drama
1401
00:47:59,250 --> 00:48:00,977
that I was going through,
1402
00:48:01,001 --> 00:48:02,750
and I reached out to Russell
1403
00:48:02,833 --> 00:48:04,583
'cause we had stayed friendly.
1404
00:48:04,667 --> 00:48:06,373
We hadn't had any type of
1405
00:48:06,397 --> 00:48:08,125
physical sexual relationship
1406
00:48:08,208 --> 00:48:10,500
in close to two years,
1407
00:48:10,583 --> 00:48:12,042
and it was really odd.
1408
00:48:12,125 --> 00:48:13,540
I remember he was
1409
00:48:13,564 --> 00:48:15,000
drinking Pellegrino,
1410
00:48:15,083 --> 00:48:17,269
- and I was like,
- "You're not gonna have a drink?"
1411
00:48:17,375 --> 00:48:18,665
'Cause we used
1412
00:48:18,689 --> 00:48:20,000
to party hard together.
1413
00:48:20,083 --> 00:48:21,310
And he said... he said,
1414
00:48:21,334 --> 00:48:22,583
"No, I'm not drinking.
1415
00:48:22,667 --> 00:48:24,040
I quit drinking."
1416
00:48:24,064 --> 00:48:25,458
I said, "Okay."
1417
00:48:25,542 --> 00:48:26,623
You know, he was...
1418
00:48:26,647 --> 00:48:27,750
He was coming on to me.
1419
00:48:27,833 --> 00:48:29,269
He said something,
1420
00:48:29,293 --> 00:48:30,750
and I told him, I said,
1421
00:48:30,833 --> 00:48:32,685
- "Russell, I've got
- a boyfriend,
1422
00:48:32,792 --> 00:48:35,977
And I'm really happy,
1423
00:48:36,001 --> 00:48:39,208
and that's not happening."
1424
00:48:40,583 --> 00:48:43,081
And... and he grabbed my hands
1425
00:48:43,105 --> 00:48:45,625
and he said, "Sil Lai,
1426
00:48:45,708 --> 00:48:47,500
we are friends."
1427
00:48:47,583 --> 00:48:49,333
He said, "That's your pussy,
1428
00:48:49,417 --> 00:48:51,311
"and I would never
1429
00:48:51,335 --> 00:48:53,250
take anything from you
1430
00:48:53,333 --> 00:48:56,500
that you didn't give me."
1431
00:48:56,583 --> 00:48:58,290
And at a certain point,
1432
00:48:58,314 --> 00:49:00,042
I said to him,
1433
00:49:00,125 --> 00:49:01,500
"I wanna go home,"
1434
00:49:01,583 --> 00:49:03,250
but instead of taking me
1435
00:49:03,333 --> 00:49:05,292
to my girlfriend's place,
1436
00:49:05,375 --> 00:49:07,500
he took me to his place.
1437
00:49:07,583 --> 00:49:09,519
I figured I would just crash
1438
00:49:09,543 --> 00:49:11,500
like I'd crashed
1439
00:49:11,583 --> 00:49:14,917
at other friends' houses.
1440
00:49:15,000 --> 00:49:17,167
I remember I came upstairs
1441
00:49:17,250 --> 00:49:18,602
and I passed out
1442
00:49:18,626 --> 00:49:20,000
on... on his bed
1443
00:49:20,083 --> 00:49:21,292
and I heard some noise.
1444
00:49:21,375 --> 00:49:22,415
I think he had gone
1445
00:49:22,439 --> 00:49:23,500
to take a shower,
1446
00:49:23,583 --> 00:49:26,623
and he... and I opened my eyes
1447
00:49:26,647 --> 00:49:29,708
and he is walking towards me
1448
00:49:29,792 --> 00:49:31,811
and he's naked except
1449
00:49:31,835 --> 00:49:33,875
he's wearing a condom.
1450
00:49:35,958 --> 00:49:37,748
I kept on saying,
1451
00:49:37,772 --> 00:49:39,583
"No, no, no,"
1452
00:49:39,667 --> 00:49:41,208
and... and I remember thinking,
1453
00:49:41,292 --> 00:49:42,582
"My boyfriend, my boyfriend,
1454
00:49:42,606 --> 00:49:43,917
my boyfriend."
1455
00:49:47,125 --> 00:49:50,333
And then he raped me,
1456
00:49:50,417 --> 00:49:52,750
and I couldn't fight.
1457
00:49:52,833 --> 00:49:54,519
I couldn't do anything.
1458
00:49:54,543 --> 00:49:56,250
I just lay there.
1459
00:49:59,500 --> 00:50:01,417
And then when it was over,
1460
00:50:01,500 --> 00:50:02,750
I remember he just said,
1461
00:50:02,833 --> 00:50:03,915
"Okay, well,
1462
00:50:03,939 --> 00:50:05,042
you know,
1463
00:50:05,125 --> 00:50:06,644
I'm gonna have Kenny
1464
00:50:06,668 --> 00:50:08,208
take you home,"
1465
00:50:08,292 --> 00:50:10,561
and I get dropped off
1466
00:50:10,585 --> 00:50:12,875
and I go upstairs
1467
00:50:12,958 --> 00:50:17,417
and I... I freaked.
1468
00:50:17,500 --> 00:50:19,519
I freaked out.
1469
00:50:19,543 --> 00:50:21,583
I...
1470
00:50:24,917 --> 00:50:26,623
I... I mean, I just...
1471
00:50:26,647 --> 00:50:28,375
I was so angry
1472
00:50:28,458 --> 00:50:29,623
and I was so filled
1473
00:50:29,647 --> 00:50:30,833
with self-loathing
1474
00:50:30,917 --> 00:50:32,144
and I was so filled
1475
00:50:32,168 --> 00:50:33,417
with guilt...
1476
00:50:35,667 --> 00:50:38,436
And rage, just rage
1477
00:50:38,460 --> 00:50:41,250
over what he had done,
1478
00:50:41,333 --> 00:50:43,873
and so I swallowed...
1479
00:50:43,897 --> 00:50:46,458
I believe it was 18
1480
00:50:46,542 --> 00:50:47,792
prescription sleeping pills.
1481
00:50:47,875 --> 00:50:49,583
These things were lethal,
1482
00:50:49,667 --> 00:50:52,083
and I kissed my son good-bye.
1483
00:50:53,875 --> 00:50:55,686
I just remember looking at him
1484
00:50:55,710 --> 00:50:57,542
and seeing how...
1485
00:50:57,625 --> 00:50:59,394
How beautiful
1486
00:50:59,418 --> 00:51:01,208
and how pure he was.
1487
00:51:02,333 --> 00:51:04,019
I mean, he really was
1488
00:51:04,043 --> 00:51:05,750
such a beautiful child,
1489
00:51:05,833 --> 00:51:07,167
and, um...
1490
00:51:09,083 --> 00:51:10,331
I was like,
1491
00:51:10,355 --> 00:51:11,625
"Your mother's a failure."
1492
00:51:13,125 --> 00:51:15,458
"She can't do anything right,
1493
00:51:15,542 --> 00:51:16,769
and nobody treats her
1494
00:51:16,793 --> 00:51:18,042
like a human being."
1495
00:51:20,208 --> 00:51:21,625
"You're just a fuck toy.
1496
00:51:21,708 --> 00:51:23,165
You're a chew toy
1497
00:51:23,189 --> 00:51:24,667
for men of power."
1498
00:51:26,083 --> 00:51:27,542
"This is your life."
1499
00:51:28,792 --> 00:51:30,582
"How are you going to be able
1500
00:51:30,606 --> 00:51:32,417
to give him anything?
1501
00:51:32,500 --> 00:51:33,686
How are you gonna be able
1502
00:51:33,710 --> 00:51:34,917
to be there?"
1503
00:51:38,208 --> 00:51:39,477
- And I said...
- You know,
1504
00:51:39,583 --> 00:51:41,352
- My girlfriend
- that I was staying with,
1505
00:51:41,458 --> 00:51:42,498
She was older...
1506
00:51:42,522 --> 00:51:43,583
20 years older than me.
1507
00:51:43,667 --> 00:51:45,290
She was very responsible,
1508
00:51:45,314 --> 00:51:46,958
and I said,
1509
00:51:47,042 --> 00:51:48,248
"Carol's gonna be
1510
00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,500
your mommy now."
1511
00:51:52,417 --> 00:51:54,123
Eventually I get taken
1512
00:51:54,147 --> 00:51:55,875
to the hospital.
1513
00:51:55,958 --> 00:51:57,435
- It's too late to pump
- my stomach.
1514
00:51:57,542 --> 00:51:58,665
They give me
1515
00:51:58,689 --> 00:51:59,833
activated charcoal,
1516
00:51:59,917 --> 00:52:01,792
and it was touch-and-go.
1517
00:52:03,000 --> 00:52:04,331
The doctors said that
1518
00:52:04,355 --> 00:52:05,708
had I gotten there 20,
1519
00:52:05,792 --> 00:52:07,165
25 minutes later,
1520
00:52:07,189 --> 00:52:08,583
I would have been dead.
1521
00:52:10,333 --> 00:52:12,290
It's definitely the low point
1522
00:52:12,314 --> 00:52:14,292
of my life,
1523
00:52:14,375 --> 00:52:20,125
and it caverned me,
1524
00:52:20,208 --> 00:52:21,917
and I left fashion.
1525
00:52:22,000 --> 00:52:24,748
I didn't wanna do anything
1526
00:52:24,772 --> 00:52:27,542
where I would see people
1527
00:52:27,625 --> 00:52:31,208
who were adjacent to this man.
1528
00:52:31,292 --> 00:52:32,936
Russell was everywhere
1529
00:52:32,960 --> 00:52:34,625
I looked.
1530
00:52:34,708 --> 00:52:35,852
- ♪ Now you tell me
1531
00:52:35,876 --> 00:52:37,042
who the fuck is winning ♪
1532
00:52:37,125 --> 00:52:38,561
♪ I'm on my Russell Simmons,
1533
00:52:38,585 --> 00:52:40,042
Nicki denim, Nicki linen ♪
1534
00:52:40,125 --> 00:52:41,894
- Our special guest
- Russell Simmons,
1535
00:52:42,000 --> 00:52:43,667
A man who needs no introduction.
1536
00:52:43,750 --> 00:52:45,227
- He was named one of the top 25
1537
00:52:45,251 --> 00:52:46,750
most influential people.
1538
00:52:46,833 --> 00:52:47,915
- The one and only,
1539
00:52:47,939 --> 00:52:49,042
the godfather of hip-hop,
1540
00:52:49,125 --> 00:52:50,498
Russell Simmons is in the house.
1541
00:52:50,522 --> 00:52:51,917
- Oh, man.
1542
00:52:52,000 --> 00:52:53,206
- Russell Simmons went on
1543
00:52:53,230 --> 00:52:54,458
to create clothing lines,
1544
00:52:54,542 --> 00:52:55,917
"Def Comedy Jam" on HBO,
1545
00:52:56,000 --> 00:52:57,935
- and "Def Poetry Jam"
- on Broadway.
1546
00:52:58,042 --> 00:52:59,684
- Russell Simmons
- is one of the wealthiest
1547
00:52:59,708 --> 00:53:01,000
Entrepreneurs in the world.
1548
00:53:01,083 --> 00:53:02,167
- He later sold his stake
1549
00:53:02,250 --> 00:53:04,417
in Def Jam for $100 million.
1550
00:53:04,500 --> 00:53:06,394
- ♪ Who's the animal
- invented lower living ♪
1551
00:53:06,500 --> 00:53:07,727
♪ The projects thank God
1552
00:53:07,751 --> 00:53:09,000
for Russell Simmons ♪
1553
00:53:09,083 --> 00:53:10,750
- A pioneering philanthropist
1554
00:53:10,833 --> 00:53:12,476
- who's also a "New York Times"
- best-selling author.
1555
00:53:12,500 --> 00:53:13,625
- He describes the journey
1556
00:53:13,708 --> 00:53:15,458
in his new book, "Super Rich."
1557
00:53:15,542 --> 00:53:16,665
- He's out with a new book,
1558
00:53:16,689 --> 00:53:17,833
"Success Through Stillness."
1559
00:53:17,917 --> 00:53:19,519
- This whole idea
- of being selfless
1560
00:53:19,625 --> 00:53:21,305
- And giving all this effort
- to the world
1561
00:53:21,333 --> 00:53:22,792
But not taking care of yourself,
1562
00:53:22,875 --> 00:53:24,292
you're not as good a servant,
1563
00:53:24,375 --> 00:53:25,975
- so you have to take care
- of yourself.
1564
00:53:26,042 --> 00:53:27,269
- You know him
1565
00:53:27,293 --> 00:53:28,542
as the godfather of hip-hop.
1566
00:53:28,625 --> 00:53:30,917
- Russell Simmons!
1567
00:53:31,000 --> 00:53:32,435
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.
1568
00:53:32,542 --> 00:53:33,917
I love you.
1569
00:53:36,167 --> 00:53:38,727
- I told a few friends about
1570
00:53:38,751 --> 00:53:41,333
what happened with Russell,
1571
00:53:41,417 --> 00:53:42,707
but I didn't tell
1572
00:53:42,731 --> 00:53:44,042
that many people.
1573
00:53:45,708 --> 00:53:47,435
- I just wanted
- to put it behind me.
1574
00:53:49,292 --> 00:53:52,333
Even in that dark shame,
1575
00:53:52,417 --> 00:53:54,250
I just wanted to make records.
1576
00:53:54,333 --> 00:53:55,935
Once I decided, okay,
1577
00:53:55,959 --> 00:53:57,583
I have something to offer,
1578
00:53:57,667 --> 00:54:00,625
well, let me try again.
1579
00:54:02,250 --> 00:54:04,248
And then finally I met Clive,
1580
00:54:04,272 --> 00:54:06,292
and I loved Clive.
1581
00:54:06,375 --> 00:54:08,958
He was a music man.
1582
00:54:09,042 --> 00:54:10,102
So I started working
1583
00:54:10,126 --> 00:54:11,208
for Clive Davis
1584
00:54:11,292 --> 00:54:13,540
at Arista Records
1585
00:54:13,564 --> 00:54:15,833
in May of 1996,
1586
00:54:15,917 --> 00:54:17,625
and I was back.
1587
00:54:17,708 --> 00:54:19,750
I had a run of phenomenal hits.
1588
00:54:19,833 --> 00:54:22,708
- ♪ A rose is still a rose ♪
1589
00:54:22,792 --> 00:54:23,832
- Lauryn Hill gave me
1590
00:54:23,856 --> 00:54:24,917
"A Rose Is Still a Rose"
1591
00:54:25,000 --> 00:54:26,083
for Aretha.
1592
00:54:26,167 --> 00:54:28,542
- ♪ Your love is my love ♪
1593
00:54:28,625 --> 00:54:29,936
- Wyclef gave me "My Love
1594
00:54:29,960 --> 00:54:31,292
is Your Love" for Whitney.
1595
00:54:31,375 --> 00:54:32,851
- So I worked closely
- with the artists
1596
00:54:32,875 --> 00:54:34,500
Who made the Album of the Year
1597
00:54:34,583 --> 00:54:35,667
two years in a row.
1598
00:54:35,750 --> 00:54:36,917
Lauryn one year...
1599
00:54:37,000 --> 00:54:38,810
- "The Miseducation
- of Lauryn Hill,"
1600
00:54:38,917 --> 00:54:41,375
Lauryn Hill.
1601
00:54:41,458 --> 00:54:42,623
- Carlos Santana
1602
00:54:42,647 --> 00:54:43,833
the next year.
1603
00:54:46,917 --> 00:54:48,917
♪ ♪
1604
00:54:49,000 --> 00:54:50,292
- And I was good.
1605
00:54:50,375 --> 00:54:51,894
- I had a hot hand,
- and I was back.
1606
00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:57,917
♪ ♪
1607
00:54:58,000 --> 00:54:59,792
And then in 2000,
1608
00:54:59,875 --> 00:55:02,477
L.A. Reid replaced Clive Davis
1609
00:55:02,501 --> 00:55:05,125
as my boss at Arista Records.
1610
00:55:07,667 --> 00:55:09,352
- L.A. Reid is one
- of the most important
1611
00:55:09,458 --> 00:55:11,208
Black music producers
1612
00:55:11,292 --> 00:55:13,540
and black record executives
1613
00:55:13,564 --> 00:55:15,833
really of the past 20 years.
1614
00:55:15,917 --> 00:55:17,311
He discovered TLC,
1615
00:55:17,335 --> 00:55:18,750
Toni Braxton,
1616
00:55:18,833 --> 00:55:19,915
Usher,
1617
00:55:19,939 --> 00:55:21,042
Outkast,
1618
00:55:21,125 --> 00:55:23,292
and I really admired him.
1619
00:55:24,500 --> 00:55:25,851
- And then when I worked
- with him,
1620
00:55:25,875 --> 00:55:27,352
- All of a sudden,
- it just changed.
1621
00:55:27,458 --> 00:55:28,727
It became,
1622
00:55:28,751 --> 00:55:30,042
"Meet me at the Four Seasons
1623
00:55:30,125 --> 00:55:32,417
when you leave the studio."
1624
00:55:34,333 --> 00:55:35,498
And so I felt like,
1625
00:55:35,522 --> 00:55:36,708
"Okay,
1626
00:55:36,792 --> 00:55:38,040
"maybe I can just
1627
00:55:38,064 --> 00:55:39,333
sort of be flirtatious
1628
00:55:39,417 --> 00:55:40,790
"and play along and,
1629
00:55:40,814 --> 00:55:42,208
you know,
1630
00:55:42,292 --> 00:55:43,457
he can play with my hair
1631
00:55:43,481 --> 00:55:44,667
in the back of the car,"
1632
00:55:44,750 --> 00:55:47,790
and... and then you realize
1633
00:55:47,814 --> 00:55:50,875
this is gonna end one way.
1634
00:55:50,958 --> 00:55:52,852
He wants me to come to the hotel
1635
00:55:52,876 --> 00:55:54,792
with him and listen to music
1636
00:55:54,875 --> 00:55:56,250
and I just keep not going,
1637
00:55:56,333 --> 00:55:57,727
and he gets meaner and meaner
1638
00:55:57,751 --> 00:55:59,167
and meaner,
1639
00:55:59,250 --> 00:56:01,186
and there are more and more
1640
00:56:01,210 --> 00:56:03,167
professional consequences.
1641
00:56:04,250 --> 00:56:06,000
I auditioned Kanye West,
1642
00:56:06,083 --> 00:56:07,227
and not only did
1643
00:56:07,251 --> 00:56:08,417
he pass on Kanye.
1644
00:56:08,500 --> 00:56:09,665
L.A. Reid dressed me down
1645
00:56:09,689 --> 00:56:10,875
in front
1646
00:56:10,958 --> 00:56:12,792
of the entire A&R department.
1647
00:56:12,875 --> 00:56:14,101
- "Drew, this was not only
- a pass.
1648
00:56:14,125 --> 00:56:15,875
This was a waste of my time."
1649
00:56:17,333 --> 00:56:18,583
And I remember after, like,
1650
00:56:18,667 --> 00:56:19,769
a 45-minute
1651
00:56:19,793 --> 00:56:20,917
dressing down, saying,
1652
00:56:21,000 --> 00:56:22,476
- "Kanye's still
- in the waiting area.
1653
00:56:22,500 --> 00:56:24,167
"Can I just go tell him?
1654
00:56:24,250 --> 00:56:26,250
'Cause he's waiting."
1655
00:56:26,333 --> 00:56:28,293
- And I remember I brought Kanye
- into my office.
1656
00:56:28,375 --> 00:56:30,125
He had tears in his eyes.
1657
00:56:30,208 --> 00:56:31,888
- I was like,
- "Let me tell you something.
1658
00:56:31,958 --> 00:56:33,498
"You're gonna get a deal
1659
00:56:33,522 --> 00:56:35,083
You're gonna win Grammys.
1660
00:56:35,167 --> 00:56:36,602
- "You're gonna look back
- on this.
1661
00:56:36,708 --> 00:56:38,167
"You're gonna laugh.
1662
00:56:38,250 --> 00:56:40,167
Promise you."
1663
00:56:40,250 --> 00:56:41,623
John Legend was the last
1664
00:56:41,647 --> 00:56:43,042
artist I tried to sign
1665
00:56:43,125 --> 00:56:44,977
- back when he was
- John Stephens.
1666
00:56:45,083 --> 00:56:46,331
I scheduled an audition
1667
00:56:46,355 --> 00:56:47,625
for him with L.A.,
1668
00:56:47,708 --> 00:56:50,167
and he was really excited.
1669
00:56:50,250 --> 00:56:51,727
We even booked a concert space
1670
00:56:51,751 --> 00:56:53,250
two days before
1671
00:56:53,333 --> 00:56:54,998
so that he could rehearse
1672
00:56:55,022 --> 00:56:56,708
with his band,
1673
00:56:56,792 --> 00:56:58,352
and then L.A. told me
1674
00:56:58,376 --> 00:56:59,958
he didn't wanna go,
1675
00:57:00,042 --> 00:57:01,457
and he told his senior staff
1676
00:57:01,481 --> 00:57:02,917
not to go.
1677
00:57:03,000 --> 00:57:04,458
He passed on him.
1678
00:57:04,542 --> 00:57:05,958
He just passed.
1679
00:57:06,042 --> 00:57:07,290
So I walked in all alone
1680
00:57:07,314 --> 00:57:08,583
and watched John perform
1681
00:57:08,667 --> 00:57:09,894
with his band
1682
00:57:09,918 --> 00:57:11,167
in the folding chairs.
1683
00:57:11,250 --> 00:57:14,167
I was the only one there.
1684
00:57:14,250 --> 00:57:15,352
I had to tell John,
1685
00:57:15,376 --> 00:57:16,500
"I can't sign you.
1686
00:57:16,583 --> 00:57:18,333
I'm so sorry."
1687
00:57:22,250 --> 00:57:24,144
Unless I sleep with L.A. Reid
1688
00:57:24,168 --> 00:57:26,083
as a quid pro quo,
1689
00:57:26,167 --> 00:57:28,436
not because I like him but
1690
00:57:28,460 --> 00:57:30,750
literally as a quid pro quo,
1691
00:57:30,833 --> 00:57:32,667
I am doomed.
1692
00:57:32,750 --> 00:57:34,644
- I mean, I can't get
- John Legend
1693
00:57:34,750 --> 00:57:36,000
Or Kanye West signed?
1694
00:57:36,083 --> 00:57:37,290
I mean, I'm dead
1695
00:57:37,314 --> 00:57:38,542
in the water now.
1696
00:57:41,375 --> 00:57:44,167
So I give up.
1697
00:57:44,250 --> 00:57:45,852
I give up.
1698
00:57:45,876 --> 00:57:47,500
I give up.
1699
00:57:49,958 --> 00:57:51,415
After a decade of working
1700
00:57:51,439 --> 00:57:52,917
my way up from the bottom
1701
00:57:53,000 --> 00:57:54,769
of my industry,
1702
00:57:54,793 --> 00:57:56,583
I just quit.
1703
00:57:59,458 --> 00:58:03,375
I also completely and utterly
1704
00:58:03,458 --> 00:58:07,958
cut myself off from the parts
1705
00:58:08,042 --> 00:58:10,917
of myself that I love the most:
1706
00:58:11,000 --> 00:58:14,583
my creativity,
1707
00:58:14,667 --> 00:58:16,375
music.
1708
00:58:16,458 --> 00:58:18,310
I mean, I don't listen to any
1709
00:58:18,334 --> 00:58:20,208
of the songs that I made.
1710
00:58:20,292 --> 00:58:22,625
I don't listen to them.
1711
00:58:22,708 --> 00:58:24,750
I just...
1712
00:58:24,833 --> 00:58:27,790
I tried to bury that part
1713
00:58:27,814 --> 00:58:30,792
of myself in, like, a manhole.
1714
00:58:32,500 --> 00:58:34,331
And I just tried
1715
00:58:34,355 --> 00:58:36,208
to become cerebral
1716
00:58:36,292 --> 00:58:38,792
and steady.
1717
00:58:39,833 --> 00:58:41,250
So I thought,
1718
00:58:41,333 --> 00:58:42,977
"I'm going to Harvard
1719
00:58:43,001 --> 00:58:44,667
Business School."
1720
00:58:44,750 --> 00:58:46,852
I ran away from anything that
1721
00:58:46,876 --> 00:58:49,000
might even get anywhere near
1722
00:58:49,083 --> 00:58:50,560
- that pain
- and I turned around
1723
00:58:50,667 --> 00:58:51,957
And I scorched the earth
1724
00:58:51,981 --> 00:58:53,292
so I would never,
1725
00:58:53,375 --> 00:58:54,477
ever have the option
1726
00:58:54,501 --> 00:58:55,625
of going back.
1727
00:58:55,708 --> 00:59:01,625
♪ ♪
1728
00:59:01,708 --> 00:59:04,727
What I'm grateful for is that
1729
00:59:04,751 --> 00:59:07,792
I met my husband there
1730
00:59:07,875 --> 00:59:10,226
- and we got married and had the
- two most wonderful children
1731
00:59:10,250 --> 00:59:13,792
On the Earth,
1732
00:59:13,875 --> 00:59:15,561
and I really did wanna be able
1733
00:59:15,585 --> 00:59:17,292
to be the person
1734
00:59:17,375 --> 00:59:19,936
that absolutely covered them
1735
00:59:19,960 --> 00:59:22,542
365 days a year,
1736
00:59:22,625 --> 00:59:24,831
but there was a part of me
1737
00:59:24,855 --> 00:59:27,083
that was sleepwalking.
1738
00:59:27,167 --> 00:59:28,727
You know, I just ran away
1739
00:59:28,751 --> 00:59:30,333
from my dream,
1740
00:59:30,417 --> 00:59:31,958
from my passion.
1741
00:59:32,042 --> 00:59:34,792
♪ ♪
1742
00:59:41,375 --> 00:59:42,644
- Let's get started
1743
00:59:42,668 --> 00:59:43,958
with breaking news.
1744
00:59:44,042 --> 00:59:45,894
- Allegations
- of sexual harassment
1745
00:59:46,000 --> 00:59:47,144
Are rocking
1746
00:59:47,168 --> 00:59:48,333
another media mogul.
1747
00:59:48,417 --> 00:59:50,269
- This time,
- it's Russell Simmons.
1748
00:59:50,375 --> 00:59:52,102
- In a scathing letter
- to Simmons
1749
00:59:52,208 --> 00:59:54,185
- Published today
- by "The Hollywood Reporter,"
1750
00:59:54,292 --> 00:59:56,040
Screenwriter Jenny Lumet
1751
00:59:56,064 --> 00:59:57,833
alleges Simmons forced her
1752
00:59:57,917 --> 00:59:59,123
to have sex with him
1753
00:59:59,147 --> 01:00:00,375
back in 1991.
1754
01:00:00,458 --> 01:00:01,873
She writes in very graphic
1755
01:00:01,897 --> 01:00:03,333
and disturbing detail...
1756
01:00:03,417 --> 01:00:04,936
- There were three things
1757
01:00:04,960 --> 01:00:06,500
that pushed me over the edge:
1758
01:00:06,583 --> 01:00:09,375
Jenny Lumet's piece...
1759
01:00:09,458 --> 01:00:11,144
- First of all,
- she's a black woman
1760
01:00:11,250 --> 01:00:13,333
Putting herself out there.
1761
01:00:13,417 --> 01:00:14,708
She specifically said,
1762
01:00:14,792 --> 01:00:16,727
"When I read
1763
01:00:16,751 --> 01:00:18,708
Keri Claussen's account
1764
01:00:18,792 --> 01:00:19,873
"and he called her a liar,
1765
01:00:19,897 --> 01:00:21,000
I couldn't let her twist
1766
01:00:21,083 --> 01:00:22,394
in the wind knowing
1767
01:00:22,418 --> 01:00:23,750
what I know,"
1768
01:00:23,833 --> 01:00:24,852
and I remember thinking,
1769
01:00:24,876 --> 01:00:25,917
"Well,
1770
01:00:26,000 --> 01:00:27,769
- "I can't let Jenny twist
- in the wind.
1771
01:00:27,875 --> 01:00:29,227
- "I mean,
- I don't know her,
1772
01:00:29,333 --> 01:00:31,123
But I can't let her twist
1773
01:00:31,147 --> 01:00:32,958
in the wind."
1774
01:00:33,917 --> 01:00:34,936
The other thing
1775
01:00:34,960 --> 01:00:36,000
was Beverly Young.
1776
01:00:36,083 --> 01:00:38,060
- She was one
- of the Roy Moore accusers,
1777
01:00:38,167 --> 01:00:39,332
And she was crying on TV
1778
01:00:39,356 --> 01:00:40,542
about him assaulting her
1779
01:00:40,625 --> 01:00:41,915
when she was
1780
01:00:41,939 --> 01:00:43,250
a 16-year-old waitress.
1781
01:00:43,333 --> 01:00:45,415
- Mr. Moore reached over
1782
01:00:45,439 --> 01:00:47,542
and began groping me
1783
01:00:47,625 --> 01:00:48,936
and putting his hands
1784
01:00:48,960 --> 01:00:50,292
on my breasts.
1785
01:00:50,375 --> 01:00:51,833
Instead of stopping,
1786
01:00:51,917 --> 01:00:53,708
he began squeezing my neck,
1787
01:00:53,792 --> 01:00:55,894
attempting to force my head
1788
01:00:55,918 --> 01:00:58,042
onto his crotch.
1789
01:00:58,125 --> 01:01:00,019
- I saw her on TV crying,
- and I thought,
1790
01:01:00,125 --> 01:01:01,810
- This is her hometown.
- She's in her 60s.
1791
01:01:01,917 --> 01:01:03,268
- These are the... these are
- the only people
1792
01:01:03,292 --> 01:01:04,935
- She's ever known,
- and she's standing
1793
01:01:05,042 --> 01:01:06,290
In her hometown where she will
1794
01:01:06,314 --> 01:01:07,583
spend the rest of her life,
1795
01:01:07,667 --> 01:01:09,915
in all likelihood,
1796
01:01:09,939 --> 01:01:12,208
putting it all on the line
1797
01:01:12,292 --> 01:01:13,936
and being called a liar.
1798
01:01:13,960 --> 01:01:15,625
That's brave.
1799
01:01:17,667 --> 01:01:19,267
- And then the other thing
- that did it,
1800
01:01:19,292 --> 01:01:20,415
I read Harold Perrineau's
1801
01:01:20,439 --> 01:01:21,583
statement
1802
01:01:21,667 --> 01:01:24,167
about his daughter Aurora,
1803
01:01:24,250 --> 01:01:25,917
and he said he was terrified
1804
01:01:26,000 --> 01:01:27,727
- when she decided
- to come forward,
1805
01:01:27,833 --> 01:01:28,977
But he said he looked at her
1806
01:01:29,001 --> 01:01:30,167
the other day and realized,
1807
01:01:30,250 --> 01:01:31,809
- "My daughter's not
- a victim anymore.
1808
01:01:31,833 --> 01:01:34,750
She's a warrior."
1809
01:01:34,833 --> 01:01:36,456
And I thought,
1810
01:01:36,480 --> 01:01:38,125
"I'd like to be a warrior.
1811
01:01:38,208 --> 01:01:40,667
"I'm tired of being a victim.
1812
01:01:40,750 --> 01:01:42,831
"I've been a victim
1813
01:01:42,855 --> 01:01:44,958
for 22 years.
1814
01:01:45,042 --> 01:01:46,165
"Let me see what
1815
01:01:46,189 --> 01:01:47,333
the other thing feels like.
1816
01:01:47,417 --> 01:01:50,167
Can't be worse."
1817
01:01:50,250 --> 01:01:51,311
And that's when I said,
1818
01:01:51,335 --> 01:01:52,417
"Okay,
1819
01:01:52,500 --> 01:01:55,208
I will go on the record."
1820
01:02:08,792 --> 01:02:10,685
- Hey, Joe,
- it's Drew.
1821
01:02:10,792 --> 01:02:12,207
Just out of curiosity,
1822
01:02:12,231 --> 01:02:13,667
in any of the other cases,
1823
01:02:13,750 --> 01:02:15,352
have the sources
1824
01:02:15,376 --> 01:02:17,000
been contacted?
1825
01:02:17,083 --> 01:02:18,625
So I can literally say,
1826
01:02:18,708 --> 01:02:21,144
- "If you wanna talk to somebody,
- if you wanna comment,
1827
01:02:21,250 --> 01:02:22,977
- You can speak
- to the reporters"?
1828
01:02:23,083 --> 01:02:24,373
You're saying that to say that
1829
01:02:24,397 --> 01:02:25,708
his lawyers would tell him
1830
01:02:25,792 --> 01:02:27,290
not to call me?
1831
01:02:27,314 --> 01:02:28,833
Right?
1832
01:02:28,917 --> 01:02:30,935
- Okay, are you only reaching out
- to Russell,
1833
01:02:31,042 --> 01:02:33,227
- Or are you also reaching out
- to L.A.?
1834
01:02:34,875 --> 01:02:36,500
So he isn't...
1835
01:02:39,625 --> 01:02:41,625
So they're both in the story?
1836
01:02:43,500 --> 01:02:44,875
Okay.
1837
01:02:48,833 --> 01:02:50,915
They are both going to find out
1838
01:02:50,939 --> 01:02:53,042
that they're in the story
1839
01:02:53,125 --> 01:02:55,227
either tonight
1840
01:02:55,251 --> 01:02:57,375
or tomorrow morning,
1841
01:02:57,458 --> 01:02:58,727
and they will know that they
1842
01:02:58,751 --> 01:03:00,042
are in the story
1843
01:03:00,125 --> 01:03:03,500
and that I named them.
1844
01:03:03,583 --> 01:03:05,042
- From recent searches,
1845
01:03:05,125 --> 01:03:06,811
and this is a search
1846
01:03:06,835 --> 01:03:08,542
of information about,
1847
01:03:08,625 --> 01:03:10,144
- uh, the United States
- proceeding?
1848
01:03:10,250 --> 01:03:12,144
- Well, it's, uh...
- It's a query.
1849
01:03:12,250 --> 01:03:14,019
- The White House
- and President Trump's
1850
01:03:14,125 --> 01:03:16,019
- Private attorneys
- will go over the part...
1851
01:03:16,125 --> 01:03:20,792
♪ ♪
1852
01:03:23,292 --> 01:03:25,167
- Joe texted me.
1853
01:03:25,250 --> 01:03:26,644
They have Russell's
1854
01:03:26,668 --> 01:03:28,083
lawyer's response.
1855
01:03:28,167 --> 01:03:30,352
He admits harassing me.
1856
01:03:30,376 --> 01:03:32,583
He denies sex.
1857
01:03:32,667 --> 01:03:35,208
He says we made out a few times,
1858
01:03:35,292 --> 01:03:37,686
and he, uh... the "Times"
1859
01:03:37,710 --> 01:03:40,125
will call me once they talk
1860
01:03:40,208 --> 01:03:42,125
to their lawyer.
1861
01:03:42,208 --> 01:03:45,625
♪ ♪
1862
01:03:50,500 --> 01:03:52,125
Wow.
1863
01:03:57,167 --> 01:03:58,686
If locking someone
1864
01:03:58,710 --> 01:04:00,250
in their office
1865
01:04:00,333 --> 01:04:03,208
and pulling your penis out
1866
01:04:03,292 --> 01:04:04,644
and making out with them
1867
01:04:04,668 --> 01:04:06,042
in a tiny space
1868
01:04:06,125 --> 01:04:08,226
- where they can't escape
- is making out a few times,
1869
01:04:08,250 --> 01:04:10,873
Then that's an interesting way
1870
01:04:10,897 --> 01:04:13,542
to describe it.
1871
01:04:26,459 --> 01:04:28,083
Can't do that right now.
1872
01:04:40,875 --> 01:04:42,435
- I don't think
- I should call anybody.
1873
01:04:42,500 --> 01:04:43,790
I don't wanna, like,
1874
01:04:43,814 --> 01:04:45,125
rope anybody into my, like,
1875
01:04:45,208 --> 01:04:47,625
mania right now.
1876
01:04:47,708 --> 01:04:49,040
I'll just wait for them
1877
01:04:49,064 --> 01:04:50,417
to call me back.
1878
01:04:50,500 --> 01:04:57,667
♪ ♪
1879
01:05:24,500 --> 01:05:27,875
♪ ♪
1880
01:05:27,958 --> 01:05:29,227
- Hi.
- Just the paper.
1881
01:05:29,333 --> 01:05:30,352
- Do you need a bag?
1882
01:05:30,376 --> 01:05:31,417
- Uh, no, thanks.
1883
01:05:31,500 --> 01:05:33,290
$2.50.
1884
01:05:33,314 --> 01:05:35,125
I'll just do the $20.
1885
01:05:35,208 --> 01:05:42,375
♪ ♪
1886
01:06:37,417 --> 01:06:44,583
♪ ♪
1887
01:06:58,833 --> 01:07:00,185
- Russell Simmons is strongly
1888
01:07:00,209 --> 01:07:01,583
denying new accusations
1889
01:07:01,667 --> 01:07:02,707
that he raped three women
1890
01:07:02,731 --> 01:07:03,792
decades ago.
1891
01:07:03,875 --> 01:07:05,165
All three women say
1892
01:07:05,189 --> 01:07:06,500
their music industry careers
1893
01:07:06,583 --> 01:07:08,208
were derailed or ruined.
1894
01:07:08,292 --> 01:07:09,957
Simmons says he categorically
1895
01:07:09,981 --> 01:07:11,667
rejects the allegations.
1896
01:07:11,750 --> 01:07:12,727
- In extensive reports
1897
01:07:12,751 --> 01:07:13,751
in the "LA Times"
1898
01:07:13,833 --> 01:07:14,917
and "New York Times,"
1899
01:07:15,000 --> 01:07:16,750
nine more women accuse Simmons
1900
01:07:16,833 --> 01:07:20,208
of a wide range of misconduct.
1901
01:07:20,292 --> 01:07:21,917
- Russell invited me out.
1902
01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:23,477
Um, he wanted me
1903
01:07:23,501 --> 01:07:25,000
to see his new apartment.
1904
01:07:25,083 --> 01:07:26,292
- I felt really safe with him,
1905
01:07:26,375 --> 01:07:27,477
and I don't think
1906
01:07:27,501 --> 01:07:28,625
we were comrades,
1907
01:07:28,708 --> 01:07:30,060
but I felt like we were,
1908
01:07:30,084 --> 01:07:31,458
I mean, peer...
1909
01:07:31,542 --> 01:07:32,750
Like, hangout peers.
1910
01:07:32,833 --> 01:07:34,727
- And we talked a lot
- about yoga.
1911
01:07:34,833 --> 01:07:36,019
We talked a lot
1912
01:07:36,043 --> 01:07:37,250
about spirituality.
1913
01:07:37,333 --> 01:07:39,309
- And he said, "Well, why don't
- we go back to my apartment
1914
01:07:39,333 --> 01:07:40,667
And we can talk there?"
1915
01:07:40,750 --> 01:07:43,644
- And suddenly here I am
1916
01:07:43,668 --> 01:07:46,583
and he has pinned me.
1917
01:07:46,667 --> 01:07:48,582
- It was just so out
1918
01:07:48,606 --> 01:07:50,542
of left field.
1919
01:07:50,625 --> 01:07:52,893
- I remember being really shocked
- to the point where I...
1920
01:07:52,917 --> 01:07:54,333
I thought it was a joke.
1921
01:07:54,417 --> 01:07:56,665
- And I was absolutely shocked
1922
01:07:56,689 --> 01:07:58,958
and taken aback
1923
01:07:59,042 --> 01:08:00,375
and I froze.
1924
01:08:00,458 --> 01:08:03,708
- He pushed me into the door...
1925
01:08:03,792 --> 01:08:04,958
In through the door
1926
01:08:05,042 --> 01:08:06,852
- and pushed me down
- on the ground.
1927
01:08:06,958 --> 01:08:08,081
- I remember fighting it,
1928
01:08:08,105 --> 01:08:09,250
fighting on the bed,
1929
01:08:09,333 --> 01:08:10,519
because I didn't want
1930
01:08:10,543 --> 01:08:11,750
his penis in me.
1931
01:08:11,833 --> 01:08:14,435
- He puts his knees on my legs
1932
01:08:14,459 --> 01:08:17,083
and pins my hands down.
1933
01:08:17,167 --> 01:08:18,977
- I think of it akin
- to that feeling
1934
01:08:19,083 --> 01:08:21,019
That must happen when you think
1935
01:08:21,043 --> 01:08:23,000
that you're on a plane
1936
01:08:23,083 --> 01:08:24,500
and it starts to go down.
1937
01:08:24,583 --> 01:08:26,352
- That, "No, no, no,
- this isn't happening."
1938
01:08:26,458 --> 01:08:31,375
- That anybody could so swiftly
1939
01:08:31,458 --> 01:08:36,208
and forcibly penetrate me...
1940
01:08:37,583 --> 01:08:38,792
Um...
1941
01:08:39,875 --> 01:08:41,331
While... actually while
1942
01:08:41,355 --> 01:08:42,833
I'm saying no.
1943
01:08:42,917 --> 01:08:44,290
- He wanted
1944
01:08:44,314 --> 01:08:45,708
to physically dominate me
1945
01:08:45,792 --> 01:08:47,208
and rape me.
1946
01:08:47,292 --> 01:08:48,311
- I pushed him off of me
1947
01:08:48,335 --> 01:08:49,375
and I was like,
1948
01:08:49,458 --> 01:08:50,792
"What the fuck are you doing?
1949
01:08:50,875 --> 01:08:52,268
- What the fuck
- is wrong with you?"
1950
01:08:52,292 --> 01:08:53,625
- I kicked really, really hard
1951
01:08:53,708 --> 01:08:54,917
and I fucking screamed,
1952
01:08:55,000 --> 01:08:56,268
- and I... and I just ran
- to the door
1953
01:08:56,292 --> 01:08:57,727
- And he, like,
- let me go.
1954
01:08:57,833 --> 01:08:59,373
- I had to really do some
1955
01:08:59,397 --> 01:09:00,958
dark nights of the soul
1956
01:09:01,042 --> 01:09:02,852
- to work through this layer
- of shame.
1957
01:09:02,958 --> 01:09:05,873
- He took a piece of me with him
1958
01:09:05,897 --> 01:09:08,833
when he did this,
1959
01:09:08,917 --> 01:09:10,790
and then... then he carried it
1960
01:09:10,814 --> 01:09:12,708
with him,
1961
01:09:12,792 --> 01:09:14,957
and he carried it with him
1962
01:09:14,981 --> 01:09:17,167
for three fucking decades.
1963
01:09:17,250 --> 01:09:23,458
♪ ♪
1964
01:09:23,542 --> 01:09:24,917
- On Instagram,
1965
01:09:25,000 --> 01:09:27,019
- Russell Simmons was defiant,
- writing,
1966
01:09:27,125 --> 01:09:28,644
"Today, I begin
1967
01:09:28,668 --> 01:09:30,208
to properly defend myself."
1968
01:09:30,292 --> 01:09:31,873
- Simmons again denied
1969
01:09:31,897 --> 01:09:33,500
all the allegations of rape
1970
01:09:33,583 --> 01:09:35,167
and other misconduct,
1971
01:09:35,250 --> 01:09:36,601
- and then he posted
- the hashtag,
1972
01:09:36,625 --> 01:09:39,792
And he used "NotMe.
1973
01:09:39,875 --> 01:09:45,625
♪ ♪
1974
01:09:45,708 --> 01:09:47,290
- You think you'll be vindicated
1975
01:09:47,314 --> 01:09:48,917
at the end of all this, man?
1976
01:09:49,000 --> 01:09:50,394
- Honestly, I mean,
- I wouldn't...
1977
01:09:50,500 --> 01:09:52,394
- I don't have a stitch
- of violence in me.
1978
01:09:52,500 --> 01:09:53,958
I would never hurt anybody.
1979
01:09:54,042 --> 01:09:55,207
And I never had
1980
01:09:55,231 --> 01:09:56,417
any violence in me,
1981
01:09:56,500 --> 01:09:57,561
but, you know...
1982
01:09:57,585 --> 01:09:58,667
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, no...
1983
01:09:58,750 --> 01:10:00,101
- It's a difficult time
- for everybody.
1984
01:10:00,125 --> 01:10:01,605
- Absolutely, absolutely.
- All right.
1985
01:10:01,667 --> 01:10:02,851
- Thanks, guys.
- All right, man.
1986
01:10:02,875 --> 01:10:04,184
- We'll be watching for you,
- Rus.
1987
01:10:04,208 --> 01:10:05,727
- Have a good one, man.
- Take care.
1988
01:10:05,833 --> 01:10:07,226
- Have a good night, you guys.
- Thank you guys.
1989
01:10:07,250 --> 01:10:09,750
♪ ♪
1990
01:10:09,833 --> 01:10:12,394
- You pinned me down
1991
01:10:12,418 --> 01:10:15,000
with your entire might.
1992
01:10:15,083 --> 01:10:16,498
I was screaming.
1993
01:10:16,522 --> 01:10:17,958
I was crying.
1994
01:10:18,042 --> 01:10:19,292
I was begging.
1995
01:10:20,543 --> 01:10:21,708
- Have a good night, Rus!
1996
01:10:21,792 --> 01:10:24,958
- That's violent.
1997
01:10:25,042 --> 01:10:26,957
That's violent.
1998
01:10:26,981 --> 01:10:28,917
You're violent.
1999
01:10:29,000 --> 01:10:36,167
♪ ♪
2000
01:10:40,917 --> 01:10:42,748
- There is a discourse
2001
01:10:42,772 --> 01:10:44,625
that says that it's still,
2002
01:10:44,708 --> 01:10:46,873
like, a cultural impossibility
2003
01:10:46,897 --> 01:10:49,083
for black women to be raped.
2004
01:10:49,167 --> 01:10:50,957
- They, um, use their sexuality
2005
01:10:50,981 --> 01:10:52,792
as gold diggers.
2006
01:10:52,875 --> 01:10:54,186
They use their sexuality
2007
01:10:54,210 --> 01:10:55,542
as means of control.
2008
01:10:55,625 --> 01:10:57,102
Um, you really can't
2009
01:10:57,126 --> 01:10:58,625
sexually abuse
2010
01:10:58,708 --> 01:11:00,393
- or rape a black woman
- because there's nothing
2011
01:11:00,417 --> 01:11:01,833
That they wouldn't do.
2012
01:11:01,917 --> 01:11:03,809
- White women are always...
- There's a stereotype
2013
01:11:03,833 --> 01:11:04,915
Of being, like,
2014
01:11:04,939 --> 01:11:06,042
docile and sweet
2015
01:11:06,125 --> 01:11:07,542
and innocent and pure,
2016
01:11:07,625 --> 01:11:08,936
and if this docile and sweet
2017
01:11:08,960 --> 01:11:10,292
and innocent, pure
2018
01:11:10,375 --> 01:11:12,248
can still get questioned
2019
01:11:12,272 --> 01:11:14,167
and not believed and discounted,
2020
01:11:14,250 --> 01:11:16,143
- what do you think is happening
- to black women in America
2021
01:11:16,167 --> 01:11:17,436
When we come forward with
2022
01:11:17,460 --> 01:11:18,750
stories about sexual violence?
2023
01:11:18,833 --> 01:11:20,083
- It's enraging.
2024
01:11:20,167 --> 01:11:21,667
It's enraging to know that
2025
01:11:21,750 --> 01:11:23,875
you are more likely to be harmed
2026
01:11:23,958 --> 01:11:25,394
and yet fewer people
2027
01:11:25,418 --> 01:11:26,875
are going to believe you.
2028
01:11:26,958 --> 01:11:28,519
- Fewer people are going
- to help you.
2029
01:11:28,625 --> 01:11:30,934
- The system doesn't appear set up
- in any way to help you.
2030
01:11:30,958 --> 01:11:33,144
- We're not entering
2031
01:11:33,168 --> 01:11:35,375
into America's history
2032
01:11:35,458 --> 01:11:37,542
with any kind of protection,
2033
01:11:37,625 --> 01:11:39,040
and that has a lot
2034
01:11:39,064 --> 01:11:40,500
to do with our history
2035
01:11:40,583 --> 01:11:42,040
from the transatlantic
2036
01:11:42,064 --> 01:11:43,542
slave trade.
2037
01:11:43,625 --> 01:11:50,792
♪ ♪
2038
01:11:52,292 --> 01:11:54,417
- When I was 26 years old,
2039
01:11:54,500 --> 01:11:56,165
my dad invited me to go
2040
01:11:56,189 --> 01:11:57,875
on this trip with him
2041
01:11:57,958 --> 01:11:59,833
to West Africa,
2042
01:11:59,917 --> 01:12:03,123
and we went to
2043
01:12:03,147 --> 01:12:06,375
St. George's Castle in Ghana.
2044
01:12:06,458 --> 01:12:09,750
So it's this big fort, really,
2045
01:12:09,833 --> 01:12:10,810
and in the middle
2046
01:12:10,834 --> 01:12:11,834
of it is a church,
2047
01:12:11,917 --> 01:12:13,519
and then on either side,
2048
01:12:13,543 --> 01:12:15,167
there were two chambers...
2049
01:12:15,250 --> 01:12:16,894
- One for women,
- one for men...
2050
01:12:17,000 --> 01:12:19,375
Where the slaves were held,
2051
01:12:19,458 --> 01:12:21,083
and in the courtyard,
2052
01:12:21,167 --> 01:12:23,352
the women were chained
2053
01:12:23,376 --> 01:12:25,583
to a cannonball by the ankle,
2054
01:12:25,667 --> 01:12:27,332
and they were selected
2055
01:12:27,356 --> 01:12:29,042
to be raped by the governor
2056
01:12:29,125 --> 01:12:30,519
or they were raped
2057
01:12:30,543 --> 01:12:31,958
by the guards.
2058
01:12:32,042 --> 01:12:33,561
These women had no right
2059
01:12:33,585 --> 01:12:35,125
to say no
2060
01:12:35,208 --> 01:12:38,292
for the rest of their lives,
2061
01:12:38,375 --> 01:12:40,373
and so I think more than half
2062
01:12:40,397 --> 01:12:42,417
of the women were pregnant
2063
01:12:42,500 --> 01:12:44,373
by the time they got on the boat
2064
01:12:44,397 --> 01:12:46,292
for the middle passage.
2065
01:12:46,375 --> 01:12:47,456
The other thing that
2066
01:12:47,480 --> 01:12:48,583
was really striking to me,
2067
01:12:48,667 --> 01:12:50,790
there's this little room
2068
01:12:50,814 --> 01:12:52,958
and there's scratch marks
2069
01:12:53,042 --> 01:12:54,686
and this is where the men
2070
01:12:54,710 --> 01:12:56,375
who attempted to defend
2071
01:12:56,458 --> 01:12:58,833
the women were taken to die.
2072
01:13:00,833 --> 01:13:03,685
So just the intentional
2073
01:13:03,709 --> 01:13:06,583
cruel breakdown
2074
01:13:06,667 --> 01:13:09,227
of the black
2075
01:13:09,251 --> 01:13:11,833
male-female dynamic
2076
01:13:11,917 --> 01:13:13,875
from the beginning.
2077
01:13:16,542 --> 01:13:17,875
And...
2078
01:13:19,917 --> 01:13:21,102
I understand the plunder
2079
01:13:21,126 --> 01:13:22,333
of black men
2080
01:13:22,417 --> 01:13:24,583
and I understand...
2081
01:13:26,625 --> 01:13:30,333
The burden of black men,
2082
01:13:30,417 --> 01:13:31,832
but I also think it's time
2083
01:13:31,856 --> 01:13:33,292
for somebody to acknowledge
2084
01:13:33,375 --> 01:13:34,644
the burden and the plunder
2085
01:13:34,668 --> 01:13:35,958
of black women.
2086
01:13:39,542 --> 01:13:40,976
- What did you think
- of the article?
2087
01:13:41,000 --> 01:13:42,061
How are the millennials
2088
01:13:42,085 --> 01:13:43,167
taking it?
2089
01:13:43,250 --> 01:13:44,394
- I was really happy with how
2090
01:13:44,418 --> 01:13:45,583
the article was written
2091
01:13:45,667 --> 01:13:48,894
and that they didn't hesitate
2092
01:13:48,918 --> 01:13:52,167
to be very clear, like,
2093
01:13:52,250 --> 01:13:54,519
this is... not only is this these
2094
01:13:54,543 --> 01:13:56,833
particular women's experiences
2095
01:13:56,917 --> 01:13:58,292
but because they are black
2096
01:13:58,375 --> 01:13:59,643
- and because they're
- in this industry,
2097
01:13:59,667 --> 01:14:00,748
This is what
2098
01:14:00,772 --> 01:14:01,875
it is like for them.
2099
01:14:01,958 --> 01:14:03,165
- All right, I'm gonna play
2100
01:14:03,189 --> 01:14:04,417
this, um, clip
2101
01:14:04,500 --> 01:14:06,292
from Hot 97 this morning,
2102
01:14:06,375 --> 01:14:07,894
which I'm actually kind of
2103
01:14:07,918 --> 01:14:09,458
scared to listen to
2104
01:14:09,542 --> 01:14:10,582
'cause Hot 97
2105
01:14:10,606 --> 01:14:11,667
is where hip-hop lives.
2106
01:14:11,750 --> 01:14:13,167
- Mm.
2107
01:14:13,250 --> 01:14:14,623
- So that would be, like,
2108
01:14:14,647 --> 01:14:16,042
a very pro-Russell platform.
2109
01:14:16,125 --> 01:14:17,500
- Let's hear it.
2110
01:14:17,583 --> 01:14:19,583
- On Hot 97.
2111
01:14:19,667 --> 01:14:20,875
- So "The New York Times"
2112
01:14:20,958 --> 01:14:22,644
- posted a report
- that four women
2113
01:14:22,750 --> 01:14:24,540
Are detailing their experiences
2114
01:14:24,564 --> 01:14:26,375
of sexual misconduct
2115
01:14:26,458 --> 01:14:27,665
and rape from Russell Simmons
2116
01:14:27,689 --> 01:14:28,917
between the years
2117
01:14:29,000 --> 01:14:32,042
of 1988 to 2014.
2118
01:14:32,125 --> 01:14:33,583
- Hold my hand for this.
2119
01:14:33,667 --> 01:14:34,915
- He said, "I absolutely
2120
01:14:34,939 --> 01:14:36,208
have not raped anyone.
2121
01:14:36,292 --> 01:14:39,250
Absolutely not."
2122
01:14:39,333 --> 01:14:40,810
Russell's somebody I consider
2123
01:14:40,834 --> 01:14:42,333
a friend in this business.
2124
01:14:42,417 --> 01:14:43,667
At times like this,
2125
01:14:43,750 --> 01:14:45,269
it is about having
2126
01:14:45,293 --> 01:14:46,833
open conversation.
2127
01:14:46,917 --> 01:14:48,143
- Doesn't mean
- I don't like Russell.
2128
01:14:48,167 --> 01:14:49,417
Doesn't mean I don't like what
2129
01:14:49,500 --> 01:14:51,042
he's contributed to hip-hop,
2130
01:14:51,125 --> 01:14:52,601
- but it does mean that
- the way you go about...
2131
01:14:52,625 --> 01:14:54,185
- I disagree.
- Sexualizing women
2132
01:14:54,292 --> 01:14:56,226
- And your behavior has been
- out of line for a long time,
2133
01:14:56,250 --> 01:14:57,810
- And it needs
- to be addressed now.
2134
01:14:57,917 --> 01:14:59,601
- Can I ask the tough question
- in the room, though?
2135
01:14:59,625 --> 01:15:00,727
Does it sound like
2136
01:15:00,751 --> 01:15:01,875
we're being nicer to,
2137
01:15:01,958 --> 01:15:03,644
- easier on,
- and more open-minded
2138
01:15:03,750 --> 01:15:05,394
About Russell than anyone else
2139
01:15:05,418 --> 01:15:07,083
who's caught an accusation?
2140
01:15:07,167 --> 01:15:09,019
I could at the very least say
2141
01:15:09,043 --> 01:15:10,917
I thought he seemed coarse
2142
01:15:11,000 --> 01:15:12,852
- and inappropriate probably
- around women,
2143
01:15:12,958 --> 01:15:14,581
And now he has several
2144
01:15:14,605 --> 01:15:16,250
rape allegations,
2145
01:15:16,333 --> 01:15:17,935
some of which are from women
2146
01:15:17,959 --> 01:15:19,583
who are very credible,
2147
01:15:19,667 --> 01:15:21,768
- worked in the industry
- at executive levels, not...
2148
01:15:21,792 --> 01:15:22,852
- And who's saying
2149
01:15:22,876 --> 01:15:23,958
they don't believe them?
2150
01:15:24,042 --> 01:15:25,248
- I'm saying the tone
2151
01:15:25,272 --> 01:15:26,500
we're having to me is one
2152
01:15:26,583 --> 01:15:27,852
that's much more like,
2153
01:15:27,876 --> 01:15:29,167
"Well, open.
2154
01:15:29,250 --> 01:15:30,625
Let's have dialogue."
2155
01:15:30,708 --> 01:15:32,143
- We didn't do that
- for other people.
2156
01:15:32,167 --> 01:15:33,727
- Mm-hmm.
- Even though we have evidence
2157
01:15:33,792 --> 01:15:35,102
To that he was...
2158
01:15:35,126 --> 01:15:36,458
Has been a... a dirtbag,
2159
01:15:36,542 --> 01:15:37,894
we're all kinda keeping our lips
2160
01:15:37,918 --> 01:15:39,292
a little bit pursed
2161
01:15:39,375 --> 01:15:40,583
and not going the next step.
2162
01:15:40,667 --> 01:15:42,208
- He's real.
2163
01:15:42,292 --> 01:15:43,498
- Russell's like,
2164
01:15:43,522 --> 01:15:44,750
"That's not how I remember it.
2165
01:15:44,833 --> 01:15:45,917
I'm stepping down."
2166
01:15:46,000 --> 01:15:47,518
- Then the rape allegations
- come out.
2167
01:15:47,542 --> 01:15:48,792
He's like, "I absolutely"...
2168
01:15:48,875 --> 01:15:50,226
- But is that why
- he stepped down?
2169
01:15:50,250 --> 01:15:51,458
Why'd he really step down?
2170
01:15:51,542 --> 01:15:52,851
- Mm-hmm.
- Because... I don't know.
2171
01:15:52,875 --> 01:15:54,352
- Why?
- What are you saying?
2172
01:15:54,458 --> 01:15:55,519
- Because he knew more
2173
01:15:55,543 --> 01:15:56,625
were coming, guys.
2174
01:15:56,708 --> 01:15:58,352
- And guess who else did.
- We did.
2175
01:15:58,458 --> 01:15:59,894
- Word.
- Word.
2176
01:16:00,000 --> 01:16:01,434
- There's these... all these
- women who were trying
2177
01:16:01,458 --> 01:16:02,476
To make it in the industry.
2178
01:16:02,500 --> 01:16:03,667
One had to... what...
2179
01:16:03,750 --> 01:16:05,143
- She just ran away,
- and guess what.
2180
01:16:05,167 --> 01:16:06,887
- Then she ended up working
- for L.A. Reid.
2181
01:16:06,958 --> 01:16:08,018
- And then he did
- something to her.
2182
01:16:08,042 --> 01:16:09,083
- And then he did it!
2183
01:16:09,167 --> 01:16:10,875
- Yeah.
2184
01:16:10,958 --> 01:16:12,678
- Sorry, that's not where
- my prayers went.
2185
01:16:12,708 --> 01:16:14,351
- My prayers were, like,
- to any woman who's had
2186
01:16:14,375 --> 01:16:15,601
- To be in this industry
- the last 30 years.
2187
01:16:16,855 --> 01:16:18,083
Wow.
2188
01:16:19,458 --> 01:16:21,269
- Uh, when... when
2189
01:16:21,293 --> 01:16:23,125
Drew disappeared,
2190
01:16:23,208 --> 01:16:25,019
it didn't strike me per se,
2191
01:16:25,043 --> 01:16:26,875
because a lot of women
2192
01:16:26,958 --> 01:16:28,833
had started to disappear.
2193
01:16:28,917 --> 01:16:30,436
- So when did you find out
2194
01:16:30,460 --> 01:16:32,000
why she'd left?
2195
01:16:32,083 --> 01:16:33,331
- Um, when I read
2196
01:16:33,355 --> 01:16:34,625
"The New York Times."
2197
01:16:36,750 --> 01:16:41,458
And it was devastating to me.
2198
01:16:41,542 --> 01:16:43,582
Devastating.
2199
01:16:43,606 --> 01:16:45,667
I was shaking for days.
2200
01:16:45,750 --> 01:16:49,061
Every story... every Russell story
2201
01:16:49,085 --> 01:16:52,417
is personal and...
2202
01:16:54,417 --> 01:16:55,977
Hard,
2203
01:16:56,001 --> 01:16:57,583
really, really hard,
2204
01:16:57,667 --> 01:16:58,769
and so when I read that
2205
01:16:58,793 --> 01:16:59,917
about Drew,
2206
01:17:00,000 --> 01:17:01,208
I was in bed.
2207
01:17:01,292 --> 01:17:02,977
- I stayed in bed
- because I was like,
2208
01:17:03,083 --> 01:17:04,833
"This is my Drew."
2209
01:17:04,917 --> 01:17:05,998
I immediately went
2210
01:17:06,022 --> 01:17:07,125
right back there
2211
01:17:07,208 --> 01:17:09,792
to my 23-year-old self.
2212
01:17:09,875 --> 01:17:13,625
I know her! So well.
2213
01:17:13,708 --> 01:17:14,685
Even now, like, this has
2214
01:17:14,709 --> 01:17:15,709
just unpacked so much,
2215
01:17:15,792 --> 01:17:17,601
- it's just forced me to think
- about all the things
2216
01:17:17,625 --> 01:17:18,811
That I've endured
2217
01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:20,042
and experienced
2218
01:17:20,125 --> 01:17:21,998
and seen,
2219
01:17:22,022 --> 01:17:23,917
and particularly with Russell,
2220
01:17:24,000 --> 01:17:24,998
because I was
2221
01:17:25,022 --> 01:17:26,042
a 22-year-old woman
2222
01:17:26,125 --> 01:17:28,102
alone with Russell
2223
01:17:28,126 --> 01:17:30,125
in the early '90s,
2224
01:17:30,208 --> 01:17:33,435
and so I know exactly
2225
01:17:33,459 --> 01:17:36,708
what is possible,
2226
01:17:36,792 --> 01:17:38,708
and even though I...
2227
01:17:38,792 --> 01:17:41,144
You know, I have fear
2228
01:17:41,168 --> 01:17:43,542
around speaking, um, publicly
2229
01:17:43,625 --> 01:17:45,417
for all the wrong reasons, like,
2230
01:17:45,500 --> 01:17:47,331
I'm smart enough to know
2231
01:17:47,355 --> 01:17:49,208
that shame has no place
2232
01:17:49,292 --> 01:17:50,957
and, you know, all the things
2233
01:17:50,981 --> 01:17:52,667
that I would say
2234
01:17:52,750 --> 01:17:54,081
to any younger woman
2235
01:17:54,105 --> 01:17:55,458
who needed my counsel,
2236
01:17:55,542 --> 01:17:56,769
I have all
2237
01:17:56,793 --> 01:17:58,042
the right things to say.
2238
01:17:58,125 --> 01:17:59,186
Um, but I'm also
2239
01:17:59,210 --> 01:18:00,292
a very private person.
2240
01:18:00,375 --> 01:18:01,583
I'm also a journalist.
2241
01:18:01,667 --> 01:18:02,769
I'm not used
2242
01:18:02,793 --> 01:18:03,917
to being the subject.
2243
01:18:04,000 --> 01:18:05,167
And this isn't a rape story.
2244
01:18:05,250 --> 01:18:06,583
That's another reason why I...
2245
01:18:06,667 --> 01:18:08,873
I think I don't want
2246
01:18:08,897 --> 01:18:11,125
to conflate
2247
01:18:11,208 --> 01:18:14,333
my story with other stories.
2248
01:18:15,667 --> 01:18:17,186
But the fact remains that you
2249
01:18:17,210 --> 01:18:18,750
can keep something inside
2250
01:18:18,833 --> 01:18:21,417
for 25 years
2251
01:18:21,500 --> 01:18:23,917
and keep on keeping on,
2252
01:18:24,000 --> 01:18:25,727
and then a thing can happen
2253
01:18:25,751 --> 01:18:27,500
like the bravery
2254
01:18:27,583 --> 01:18:29,583
of someone like Drew
2255
01:18:29,667 --> 01:18:31,123
or Sil Lai
2256
01:18:31,147 --> 01:18:32,625
or Jenny
2257
01:18:32,708 --> 01:18:34,227
or any of these women
2258
01:18:34,251 --> 01:18:35,792
who have dared
2259
01:18:35,875 --> 01:18:38,081
to say a name and speak
2260
01:18:38,105 --> 01:18:40,333
to a specific time
2261
01:18:40,417 --> 01:18:41,748
and you didn't have
2262
01:18:41,772 --> 01:18:43,125
to reconcile.
2263
01:18:43,208 --> 01:18:44,125
You've gotta deal,
2264
01:18:44,208 --> 01:18:45,125
and that's really why
2265
01:18:45,208 --> 01:18:46,250
I showed up today.
2266
01:18:46,333 --> 01:18:50,125
I'm here really to bear witness
2267
01:18:50,208 --> 01:18:52,165
and to say I'm really sorry
2268
01:18:52,189 --> 01:18:54,167
to all of these women
2269
01:18:54,250 --> 01:18:56,458
who have suffered,
2270
01:18:56,542 --> 01:18:57,707
and to those who
2271
01:18:57,731 --> 01:18:58,917
will never tell their story,
2272
01:18:59,000 --> 01:19:00,792
that's okay too.
2273
01:19:00,875 --> 01:19:02,792
I believe you too,
2274
01:19:02,875 --> 01:19:04,665
and there's so many of us
2275
01:19:04,689 --> 01:19:06,500
who believe you too.
2276
01:19:06,583 --> 01:19:10,167
So, um, you know...
2277
01:19:13,500 --> 01:19:14,750
You know.
2278
01:19:26,958 --> 01:19:29,540
- I am looking forward
2279
01:19:29,564 --> 01:19:32,167
to meeting Sil Lai.
2280
01:19:32,250 --> 01:19:34,665
Her story just came out
2281
01:19:34,689 --> 01:19:37,125
in "The Hollywood Reporter."
2282
01:19:37,208 --> 01:19:38,915
And I'm always happy
2283
01:19:38,939 --> 01:19:40,667
to see Jenny.
2284
01:19:40,750 --> 01:19:42,019
I've met her twice now,
2285
01:19:42,043 --> 01:19:43,333
and we've gotten to know
2286
01:19:43,417 --> 01:19:46,333
each other over text as well,
2287
01:19:46,417 --> 01:19:48,644
and I consider her
2288
01:19:48,668 --> 01:19:50,917
a sister already.
2289
01:19:51,000 --> 01:19:52,581
It's this bond that's hard
2290
01:19:52,605 --> 01:19:54,208
to describe.
2291
01:19:57,792 --> 01:20:00,167
- Come in, come in, come in!
2292
01:20:00,250 --> 01:20:02,769
Wow, I'm seeing you in person
2293
01:20:02,793 --> 01:20:05,333
after all this time!
2294
01:20:07,250 --> 01:20:08,708
- Jenny?
2295
01:20:08,792 --> 01:20:09,811
- Hello.
2296
01:20:09,835 --> 01:20:10,875
- Here, have a seat here.
2297
01:20:10,958 --> 01:20:12,415
- I... I was, like, in mom mode.
2298
01:20:12,439 --> 01:20:13,917
- Me too.
2299
01:20:14,000 --> 01:20:15,352
- Well...
- I was making pancakes.
2300
01:20:15,458 --> 01:20:17,435
- This is good.
- I can have a Beyoncé, like...
2301
01:20:17,542 --> 01:20:18,542
- Right in the wind.
2302
01:20:21,375 --> 01:20:23,498
- I'm doing this mental
2303
01:20:23,522 --> 01:20:25,667
checklist with everybody.
2304
01:20:25,750 --> 01:20:26,769
- Oh, yeah.
2305
01:20:26,793 --> 01:20:27,833
- 'Cause I wanna know
2306
01:20:27,917 --> 01:20:30,936
who I know is still supporting
2307
01:20:30,960 --> 01:20:34,000
this man 19 allegations in.
2308
01:20:34,083 --> 01:20:35,435
- Oh, yeah.
- Are you an ally?
2309
01:20:35,542 --> 01:20:37,019
Are you a real ally?
2310
01:20:37,043 --> 01:20:38,542
Are you down with him?
2311
01:20:38,625 --> 01:20:39,792
Do you support me?
2312
01:20:39,875 --> 01:20:40,977
Why do you not
2313
01:20:41,001 --> 01:20:42,125
say anything to me?
2314
01:20:42,208 --> 01:20:43,750
Why do you stay silent?
2315
01:20:43,833 --> 01:20:45,040
- It was kind of
2316
01:20:45,064 --> 01:20:46,292
like I did not...
2317
01:20:48,125 --> 01:20:50,708
Expect, uh...
2318
01:20:52,833 --> 01:20:54,519
Anyone to be in it
2319
01:20:54,543 --> 01:20:56,250
for the long haul with me,
2320
01:20:56,333 --> 01:20:57,873
and I was okay.
2321
01:20:57,897 --> 01:20:59,458
- Mm.
2322
01:20:59,542 --> 01:21:02,375
- Um, it'd be lovely,
2323
01:21:02,458 --> 01:21:03,833
but I'm glad I met you guys,
2324
01:21:03,917 --> 01:21:05,852
- 'cause we're in it
- for the long haul.
2325
01:21:05,958 --> 01:21:07,269
- Like, I don't... I've been
2326
01:21:07,293 --> 01:21:08,625
in bed for four days.
2327
01:21:08,708 --> 01:21:09,894
Like, I don't know
2328
01:21:09,918 --> 01:21:11,125
how to do this.
2329
01:21:11,208 --> 01:21:12,790
I don't know... how do you tell
2330
01:21:12,814 --> 01:21:14,417
your story in front
2331
01:21:14,500 --> 01:21:16,165
of a national...
2332
01:21:16,189 --> 01:21:17,875
In a national forum?
2333
01:21:17,958 --> 01:21:19,206
But at the same time
2334
01:21:19,230 --> 01:21:20,500
realizing the privilege.
2335
01:21:20,583 --> 01:21:21,581
Like, looking at us,
2336
01:21:21,605 --> 01:21:22,625
we're all light-skinned.
2337
01:21:22,708 --> 01:21:24,144
We're all
2338
01:21:24,168 --> 01:21:25,625
"conventionally attractive."
2339
01:21:25,708 --> 01:21:27,165
The fact that our story
2340
01:21:27,189 --> 01:21:28,667
has been told
2341
01:21:28,750 --> 01:21:30,519
- is a privilege.
- Mm-hmm.
2342
01:21:30,625 --> 01:21:32,917
- It shouldn't be a privilege.
2343
01:21:33,000 --> 01:21:34,852
Every woman's story
2344
01:21:34,876 --> 01:21:36,750
deserves to be heard.
2345
01:21:36,833 --> 01:21:38,769
- Part of the reason
- I did speak out
2346
01:21:38,875 --> 01:21:40,352
Is because I do have
2347
01:21:40,376 --> 01:21:41,875
light privilege,
2348
01:21:41,958 --> 01:21:44,625
so I have to go ahead
2349
01:21:44,708 --> 01:21:46,706
and stick my neck out
2350
01:21:46,730 --> 01:21:48,750
and say, "Me too,"
2351
01:21:48,833 --> 01:21:51,019
for other black women
2352
01:21:51,043 --> 01:21:53,250
who are not safe.
2353
01:21:53,333 --> 01:21:54,958
♪ ♪
2354
01:21:55,042 --> 01:21:58,082
- I wasn't prepared
2355
01:21:58,106 --> 01:22:01,167
in whatever way
2356
01:22:01,250 --> 01:22:06,167
to speak at all until 2017,
2357
01:22:06,250 --> 01:22:08,019
which is the first time
2358
01:22:08,043 --> 01:22:09,833
I said anything to anybody.
2359
01:22:11,500 --> 01:22:13,000
And I thought...
2360
01:22:16,042 --> 01:22:17,790
"I wish I could have gotten
2361
01:22:17,814 --> 01:22:19,583
my shit together earlier..."
2362
01:22:23,083 --> 01:22:24,165
"So he would have left
2363
01:22:24,189 --> 01:22:25,292
everybody alone."
2364
01:22:25,375 --> 01:22:30,167
♪ ♪
2365
01:22:30,250 --> 01:22:32,186
- The aftermath
2366
01:22:32,210 --> 01:22:34,167
of coming forward is just...
2367
01:22:34,250 --> 01:22:36,311
You can't even begin
2368
01:22:36,335 --> 01:22:38,417
to describe what it's like,
2369
01:22:38,500 --> 01:22:41,102
but someone else out there
2370
01:22:41,126 --> 01:22:43,750
knows exactly what it is,
2371
01:22:43,833 --> 01:22:46,102
you know, and to go through
2372
01:22:46,126 --> 01:22:48,417
the first,
2373
01:22:48,500 --> 01:22:49,750
the assault,
2374
01:22:49,833 --> 01:22:53,583
and then the coming forward...
2375
01:22:56,625 --> 01:22:59,167
And there's a bond.
2376
01:22:59,250 --> 01:23:01,375
You know, there's a bond there.
2377
01:23:07,542 --> 01:23:09,375
♪ ♪
2378
01:23:09,458 --> 01:23:10,810
- I don't know
2379
01:23:10,834 --> 01:23:12,208
that there's any comp...
2380
01:23:12,292 --> 01:23:13,333
Like, any comparable...
2381
01:23:13,417 --> 01:23:14,851
- No, there isn't
- any comparable...
2382
01:23:14,875 --> 01:23:16,269
- Experience to coming forward,
2383
01:23:16,293 --> 01:23:17,708
being believed,
2384
01:23:17,792 --> 01:23:19,833
finding other victims...
2385
01:23:19,917 --> 01:23:21,351
- The trauma,
- the coming forward...
2386
01:23:21,375 --> 01:23:22,875
- Of the same trauma
2387
01:23:22,958 --> 01:23:24,540
by the same person
2388
01:23:24,564 --> 01:23:26,167
and suddenly we're together.
2389
01:23:26,250 --> 01:23:27,269
I mean, I'd been alone
2390
01:23:27,293 --> 01:23:28,333
for 22 years.
2391
01:23:28,417 --> 01:23:30,083
I thought it was just me.
2392
01:23:30,167 --> 01:23:31,457
- Meeting you was,
2393
01:23:31,481 --> 01:23:32,792
"I'm not alone."
2394
01:23:32,875 --> 01:23:34,000
- Yeah.
2395
01:23:34,083 --> 01:23:35,477
- Meeting you now is,
2396
01:23:35,501 --> 01:23:36,917
"I'm not alone."
2397
01:23:37,000 --> 01:23:40,625
Um, it's a big deal.
2398
01:23:40,708 --> 01:23:42,125
- It's a big deal.
2399
01:23:42,208 --> 01:23:49,375
♪ ♪
2400
01:24:05,167 --> 01:24:06,917
After the article came out,
2401
01:24:07,042 --> 01:24:08,227
I asked my husband
2402
01:24:08,251 --> 01:24:09,458
for a divorce,
2403
01:24:09,542 --> 01:24:10,811
not because it was, like,
2404
01:24:10,835 --> 01:24:12,125
toxic or terrible
2405
01:24:12,208 --> 01:24:14,144
but because suddenly
2406
01:24:14,168 --> 01:24:16,125
I had to deal with this thing
2407
01:24:16,208 --> 01:24:17,458
that had happened to me
2408
01:24:17,542 --> 01:24:19,144
in, like,
2409
01:24:19,168 --> 01:24:20,792
a three-dimensional way,
2410
01:24:20,875 --> 01:24:22,477
and I found myself
2411
01:24:22,501 --> 01:24:24,125
in a very dark place
2412
01:24:24,208 --> 01:24:25,665
and ultimately had
2413
01:24:25,689 --> 01:24:27,167
to summon the strength
2414
01:24:27,250 --> 01:24:29,165
to leave
2415
01:24:29,189 --> 01:24:31,125
and get to know myself
2416
01:24:31,208 --> 01:24:32,810
and find out
2417
01:24:32,834 --> 01:24:34,458
who that person is.
2418
01:24:41,500 --> 01:24:43,226
- I thought the only thing
- that would be different
2419
01:24:43,250 --> 01:24:44,581
After "The New York Times"
2420
01:24:44,605 --> 01:24:45,958
published my story
2421
01:24:46,042 --> 01:24:47,292
is that the rest of the world
2422
01:24:47,375 --> 01:24:48,815
- would have the information
- I had.
2423
01:24:48,875 --> 01:24:50,727
What I did not anticipate
2424
01:24:50,751 --> 01:24:52,625
is that I would have
2425
01:24:52,708 --> 01:24:54,290
a new relationship
2426
01:24:54,314 --> 01:24:55,917
with this information,
2427
01:24:56,000 --> 01:24:57,208
which was essentially I had
2428
01:24:57,292 --> 01:24:58,726
- to process it
- for the first time.
2429
01:24:58,750 --> 01:24:59,790
It was, like,
2430
01:24:59,814 --> 01:25:00,875
unmetabolized information.
2431
01:25:00,958 --> 01:25:03,227
Like, it's like
2432
01:25:03,251 --> 01:25:05,542
I'd swallowed it whole in 1995
2433
01:25:05,625 --> 01:25:07,331
and I had never actually
2434
01:25:07,355 --> 01:25:09,083
digested it.
2435
01:25:09,167 --> 01:25:11,290
You know, it was literally like
2436
01:25:11,314 --> 01:25:13,458
pressing play
2437
01:25:13,542 --> 01:25:15,102
on a movie that
2438
01:25:15,126 --> 01:25:16,708
I paused 22 years ago
2439
01:25:16,792 --> 01:25:17,790
in, like, the middle
2440
01:25:17,814 --> 01:25:18,833
of the scariest scene.
2441
01:25:18,917 --> 01:25:20,917
I'm just like, play.
2442
01:25:21,000 --> 01:25:25,333
♪ ♪
2443
01:25:25,417 --> 01:25:26,708
I didn't even realize until
2444
01:25:26,792 --> 01:25:28,102
I read the "New York Times"
2445
01:25:28,126 --> 01:25:29,458
article
2446
01:25:29,542 --> 01:25:32,042
that there was never even a CD.
2447
01:25:32,125 --> 01:25:33,436
I literally for 22 years
2448
01:25:33,460 --> 01:25:34,792
have wondered
2449
01:25:34,875 --> 01:25:36,144
what it was
2450
01:25:36,168 --> 01:25:37,458
and was it good
2451
01:25:37,542 --> 01:25:39,019
until I read the article
2452
01:25:39,043 --> 01:25:40,542
and realized...
2453
01:25:40,625 --> 01:25:42,019
- I mean,
- read the article,
2454
01:25:42,125 --> 01:25:43,290
Met other survivors of his,
2455
01:25:43,314 --> 01:25:44,500
talked to...
2456
01:25:44,583 --> 01:25:45,644
Talked to them about
2457
01:25:45,668 --> 01:25:46,750
the traps he set.
2458
01:25:46,833 --> 01:25:47,915
It's like, "Oh, my God.
2459
01:25:47,939 --> 01:25:49,042
There was no CD."
2460
01:25:50,417 --> 01:25:53,083
There was never a CD.
2461
01:25:53,167 --> 01:25:54,665
It was all a ruse
2462
01:25:54,689 --> 01:25:56,208
to get me in there
2463
01:25:56,292 --> 01:25:57,934
- 'cause he knew I would
- wanna hear the demo
2464
01:25:57,958 --> 01:26:00,583
And it was my job,
2465
01:26:00,667 --> 01:26:02,333
and that is why I walked right
2466
01:26:02,417 --> 01:26:04,227
into that trap
2467
01:26:04,251 --> 01:26:06,083
with Russell Simmons at 24.
2468
01:26:06,167 --> 01:26:13,375
♪ ♪
2469
01:26:39,208 --> 01:26:43,917
- ♪ You're all I need ♪
2470
01:26:44,000 --> 01:26:46,542
♪ To get by ♪
2471
01:26:46,625 --> 01:26:49,250
♪ Aye ♪
2472
01:26:49,333 --> 01:26:54,250
♪ You're all I need ♪
2473
01:26:54,333 --> 01:26:56,750
♪ To get by ♪
2474
01:26:56,833 --> 01:26:59,667
♪ Aye ♪
2475
01:26:59,750 --> 01:27:01,061
- ♪ Shorty, I'm there for you
2476
01:27:01,085 --> 01:27:02,417
anytime you need me ♪
2477
01:27:02,500 --> 01:27:03,727
♪ For real, girl, it's me
2478
01:27:03,751 --> 01:27:05,000
in your world, believe me ♪
2479
01:27:05,083 --> 01:27:06,185
♪ Nothing make a man
2480
01:27:06,209 --> 01:27:07,333
feel better than a woman ♪
2481
01:27:07,417 --> 01:27:08,623
♪ Queen with a crown
2482
01:27:08,647 --> 01:27:09,875
that be down for whatever ♪
2483
01:27:09,958 --> 01:27:11,227
♪ There are few things
2484
01:27:11,251 --> 01:27:12,542
that's forever, my lady ♪
2485
01:27:12,625 --> 01:27:14,105
- ♪ We can make war
- or make babies ♪
2486
01:27:14,208 --> 01:27:15,875
♪ Back when I was nothing ♪
2487
01:27:15,958 --> 01:27:16,935
♪ You made a brother feel
2488
01:27:16,959 --> 01:27:17,959
like he was something ♪
2489
01:27:18,042 --> 01:27:19,165
♪ That's why I'm with you to
2490
01:27:19,189 --> 01:27:20,333
this day, boo, no fronting ♪
2491
01:27:20,417 --> 01:27:21,582
- You have to ask yourself,
2492
01:27:21,606 --> 01:27:22,792
you know,
2493
01:27:22,875 --> 01:27:24,040
where would her career
2494
01:27:24,064 --> 01:27:25,250
have gone in music?
2495
01:27:25,333 --> 01:27:27,083
What music did we lose?
2496
01:27:27,167 --> 01:27:29,458
What are we poorer for
2497
01:27:29,542 --> 01:27:31,540
for Drew not being
2498
01:27:31,564 --> 01:27:33,583
a music executive?
2499
01:27:33,667 --> 01:27:37,208
If this is what her 20s was,
2500
01:27:37,292 --> 01:27:38,833
the magic,
2501
01:27:38,917 --> 01:27:40,665
what would the next
2502
01:27:40,689 --> 01:27:42,458
20 years have been?
2503
01:27:42,542 --> 01:27:43,708
And we'll never know.
2504
01:27:43,792 --> 01:27:44,873
It's like we've been robbed
2505
01:27:44,897 --> 01:27:46,000
of that.
2506
01:27:46,083 --> 01:27:47,833
- When people get out, like, um,
2507
01:27:47,917 --> 01:27:48,957
for those kind of reasons,
2508
01:27:49,000 --> 01:27:50,833
I think that us as the public,
2509
01:27:50,917 --> 01:27:53,393
- we suffer because we don't know
- what they could have produced
2510
01:27:53,417 --> 01:27:54,643
Or what they could have brought.
2511
01:27:54,667 --> 01:27:55,707
Like, maybe music wouldn't
2512
01:27:55,750 --> 01:27:57,000
have changed the way it did
2513
01:27:57,083 --> 01:27:58,331
if we had more women,
2514
01:27:58,355 --> 01:27:59,625
uh, in music.
2515
01:27:59,708 --> 01:28:01,227
- This is so emblematic
2516
01:28:01,251 --> 01:28:02,792
of what happens
2517
01:28:02,875 --> 01:28:04,081
to women routinely,
2518
01:28:04,105 --> 01:28:05,333
and we lose.
2519
01:28:05,417 --> 01:28:07,957
We all lose when
2520
01:28:07,981 --> 01:28:10,542
brilliant women go away,
2521
01:28:10,625 --> 01:28:12,227
when powerful women go away,
2522
01:28:12,251 --> 01:28:13,875
you know?
2523
01:28:13,958 --> 01:28:14,998
When people lose
2524
01:28:15,022 --> 01:28:16,083
their inner light,
2525
01:28:16,167 --> 01:28:17,977
that thing... when shame keeps you
2526
01:28:18,001 --> 01:28:19,833
from stepping up,
2527
01:28:19,917 --> 01:28:20,998
what... all of that,
2528
01:28:21,022 --> 01:28:22,125
it's a loss for all of us.
2529
01:28:22,208 --> 01:28:23,750
It really, really is.
2530
01:28:25,625 --> 01:28:28,623
- You know, I've had glimpses
2531
01:28:28,647 --> 01:28:31,667
of access to my creativity
2532
01:28:31,750 --> 01:28:33,227
and my joy
2533
01:28:33,251 --> 01:28:34,750
and my fearlessness,
2534
01:28:34,833 --> 01:28:37,958
but it's really been buried.
2535
01:28:38,042 --> 01:28:39,665
The most authentic part
2536
01:28:39,689 --> 01:28:41,333
of myself carried the pain,
2537
01:28:41,417 --> 01:28:43,186
so I couldn't...
2538
01:28:43,210 --> 01:28:45,000
I couldn't open that box.
2539
01:28:47,792 --> 01:28:49,665
- Would you rather hear a song
2540
01:28:49,689 --> 01:28:51,583
called "Medicine" or "Silver"?
2541
01:28:51,667 --> 01:28:53,144
- "Medicine."
- Okay.
2542
01:28:57,792 --> 01:29:02,833
♪ ♪
2543
01:29:02,917 --> 01:29:05,061
- ♪ Let me spell it out, babe,
2544
01:29:05,085 --> 01:29:07,250
I want you to go ♪
2545
01:29:07,333 --> 01:29:11,042
♪ ♪
2546
01:29:11,125 --> 01:29:13,415
♪ All you do is try to teach me
2547
01:29:13,439 --> 01:29:15,750
things I've already known ♪
2548
01:29:15,833 --> 01:29:19,333
♪ ♪
2549
01:29:19,417 --> 01:29:22,352
♪ Do you really think it helps
2550
01:29:22,376 --> 01:29:25,333
me having you in control ♪
2551
01:29:25,417 --> 01:29:26,748
- There's a mom whose daughter
2552
01:29:26,772 --> 01:29:28,125
is in the 11th grade
2553
01:29:28,208 --> 01:29:30,018
- at my kids' school
- and she read the article
2554
01:29:30,042 --> 01:29:31,309
- And thought
- that I might be able
2555
01:29:31,333 --> 01:29:34,292
To give her daughter advice.
2556
01:29:34,375 --> 01:29:36,309
- The last thing I thought
- would come from this article
2557
01:29:36,333 --> 01:29:37,477
Was having somebody want me
2558
01:29:37,501 --> 01:29:38,667
to help them with music.
2559
01:29:38,750 --> 01:29:40,081
I thought I was, like,
2560
01:29:40,105 --> 01:29:41,458
officially closing that door
2561
01:29:41,542 --> 01:29:43,000
whether I wanted to or not.
2562
01:29:43,083 --> 01:29:45,792
♪ ♪
2563
01:29:45,875 --> 01:29:47,102
It's awesome.
2564
01:29:47,126 --> 01:29:48,375
I love it.
2565
01:29:48,458 --> 01:29:49,977
- Like, I love it.
- You do?
2566
01:29:50,083 --> 01:29:52,081
- Yeah, so those are some
2567
01:29:52,105 --> 01:29:54,125
of my favorite verses of yours.
2568
01:29:54,208 --> 01:29:55,102
- Like...
- Yeah?
2569
01:29:55,208 --> 01:29:56,560
- Of, like, all.
- Really?
2570
01:29:56,667 --> 01:29:58,375
- I love those verses.
2571
01:29:58,458 --> 01:30:00,665
They're really haunting and,
2572
01:30:00,689 --> 01:30:02,917
like, I love them.
2573
01:30:03,000 --> 01:30:03,998
- Oh, thanks.
2574
01:30:04,022 --> 01:30:05,042
- Beautiful.
2575
01:30:05,125 --> 01:30:06,125
- Thank you.
2576
01:30:06,208 --> 01:30:13,333
♪ ♪
2577
01:30:20,292 --> 01:30:23,290
♪ And you can't wrap your mind
2578
01:30:23,314 --> 01:30:26,333
around my words ♪
2579
01:30:26,417 --> 01:30:28,208
♪ ♪
2580
01:30:28,292 --> 01:30:31,707
♪ But your healing efforts
2581
01:30:31,731 --> 01:30:35,167
only make me hurt ♪
2582
01:30:35,250 --> 01:30:36,958
♪ Don't you know ♪
2583
01:30:37,042 --> 01:30:38,998
♪ You're not a medicine,
2584
01:30:39,022 --> 01:30:41,000
you're not a medicine ♪
2585
01:30:41,083 --> 01:30:43,185
♪ You gave me bad news
2586
01:30:43,209 --> 01:30:45,333
and I'm stuck in my bed again ♪
2587
01:30:45,417 --> 01:30:48,727
♪ You're not a medicine,
2588
01:30:48,751 --> 01:30:52,083
you're not a medicine ♪
2589
01:30:52,167 --> 01:30:55,417
♪ ♪
2590
01:30:57,542 --> 01:30:58,769
- I am excited
2591
01:30:58,793 --> 01:31:00,042
to be making music again.
2592
01:31:00,125 --> 01:31:02,290
I mean, it's sort of like...
2593
01:31:02,314 --> 01:31:04,500
It's like breathing.
2594
01:31:04,583 --> 01:31:06,768
- I feel like I've been holding
- my breath for 16 years
2595
01:31:06,792 --> 01:31:08,542
And I didn't know it.
2596
01:31:08,625 --> 01:31:15,792
♪ ♪
2597
01:31:18,667 --> 01:31:20,332
If you're a rape survivor,
2598
01:31:20,356 --> 01:31:22,042
you are the crime scene.
2599
01:31:22,125 --> 01:31:24,375
My life is the crime scene.
2600
01:31:24,458 --> 01:31:25,852
The crime doesn't end
2601
01:31:25,876 --> 01:31:27,292
the moment the assault ends.
2602
01:31:27,375 --> 01:31:29,248
The crime is perpetrated
2603
01:31:29,272 --> 01:31:31,167
and reperpetrated
2604
01:31:31,250 --> 01:31:32,498
every day that you
2605
01:31:32,522 --> 01:31:33,792
carry it with you,
2606
01:31:33,875 --> 01:31:35,375
and it informs your behavior,
2607
01:31:35,458 --> 01:31:36,623
so, like,
2608
01:31:36,647 --> 01:31:37,833
I'm a living crime scene.
2609
01:31:40,500 --> 01:31:43,375
And I realize now it was a cage.
2610
01:31:43,458 --> 01:31:46,977
I had no idea how much
2611
01:31:47,001 --> 01:31:50,542
this one night of my life
2612
01:31:50,625 --> 01:31:53,500
shattered me,
2613
01:31:53,583 --> 01:31:55,375
and until I said it out loud
2614
01:31:55,458 --> 01:31:56,831
and lived to, like,
2615
01:31:56,855 --> 01:31:58,250
tell the tale...
2616
01:31:58,333 --> 01:32:01,708
I'm still here...
2617
01:32:01,792 --> 01:32:03,602
I couldn't fully start to put
2618
01:32:03,626 --> 01:32:05,458
the pieces back together,
2619
01:32:05,542 --> 01:32:07,394
- and I would have
- been shattered forever
2620
01:32:07,500 --> 01:32:08,686
If this Me Too moment
2621
01:32:08,710 --> 01:32:09,917
hadn't happened.
2622
01:32:10,000 --> 01:32:12,040
I mean, literally,
2623
01:32:12,064 --> 01:32:14,125
it's like... it saved my life.
2624
01:32:14,208 --> 01:32:16,875
I... it saved my life.
2625
01:32:16,958 --> 01:32:24,125
♪ ♪
2626
01:33:17,417 --> 01:33:24,583
♪ ♪
2627
01:34:08,875 --> 01:34:16,042
♪ ♪
2628
01:34:28,833 --> 01:34:33,000
- ♪ These damnable heresies ♪
2629
01:34:33,083 --> 01:34:36,833
♪ Sold into slavery ♪
2630
01:34:36,917 --> 01:34:38,917
♪ By my insecurities ♪
2631
01:34:39,000 --> 01:34:41,894
♪ Oh, they keep
2632
01:34:41,918 --> 01:34:44,833
taking me down ♪
2633
01:34:44,917 --> 01:34:48,792
♪ Shaking me down ♪
2634
01:34:48,875 --> 01:34:51,917
♪ Taking me down ♪
2635
01:34:52,000 --> 01:34:54,750
♪ They keep breaking me down ♪
2636
01:34:54,833 --> 01:35:00,833
♪ Shaking me, taking me ♪
2637
01:35:00,917 --> 01:35:04,792
♪ Total hypocrisy ♪
2638
01:35:04,875 --> 01:35:08,708
♪ Teaching me lies ♪
2639
01:35:08,792 --> 01:35:12,583
♪ Spirituality ♪
2640
01:35:12,667 --> 01:35:16,667
♪ Through human eyes ♪
2641
01:35:16,750 --> 01:35:20,708
♪ Total confusion ♪
2642
01:35:20,792 --> 01:35:24,583
♪ No right or wrong ♪
2643
01:35:24,667 --> 01:35:27,875
♪ Keeping the people ♪
2644
01:35:27,958 --> 01:35:32,708
♪ From where they belong ♪
2645
01:35:32,792 --> 01:35:36,625
♪ Refusing to speak ♪
2646
01:35:36,708 --> 01:35:40,542
♪ Afraid to upset ♪
2647
01:35:40,625 --> 01:35:42,311
♪ Spending the rest
2648
01:35:42,335 --> 01:35:44,042
of your life ♪
2649
01:35:44,125 --> 01:35:48,208
♪ Oh, in total regret ♪
2650
01:35:48,292 --> 01:35:52,083
♪ This emotional force ♪
2651
01:35:52,167 --> 01:35:55,833
♪ Keeps conforming my mind ♪
2652
01:35:55,917 --> 01:35:58,123
♪ Keeping me blind,
2653
01:35:58,147 --> 01:36:00,375
keeping me blind ♪
2654
01:36:00,458 --> 01:36:04,333
♪ Keeping me blind ♪
2655
01:36:04,417 --> 01:36:08,250
♪ From the reality ♪
2656
01:36:08,333 --> 01:36:11,875
♪ Of what's being done, yeah ♪
2657
01:36:11,958 --> 01:36:15,833
♪ I keep playing the fool ♪
2658
01:36:15,917 --> 01:36:19,500
♪ To help everyone ♪
2659
01:36:19,583 --> 01:36:23,917
♪ These damnable heresies ♪
2660
01:36:24,000 --> 01:36:28,167
♪ Sold into slavery ♪
2661
01:36:28,250 --> 01:36:30,250
♪ By my insecurities ♪
2662
01:36:30,333 --> 01:36:32,852
♪ Oh, they keep
2663
01:36:32,876 --> 01:36:35,417
taking me down ♪
2664
01:36:35,500 --> 01:36:37,748
♪ Shaking me down,
2665
01:36:37,772 --> 01:36:40,042
down, down ♪
2666
01:36:40,125 --> 01:36:42,708
♪ Taking me down ♪
2667
01:36:42,792 --> 01:36:45,519
♪ They keep taking me,
2668
01:36:45,543 --> 01:36:48,292
breaking me ♪
2669
01:36:48,375 --> 01:36:51,250
♪ Making me ♪
2670
01:36:51,333 --> 01:36:55,417
♪ These damnable heresies ♪
2671
01:36:55,500 --> 01:37:00,042
♪ Sold into slavery ♪
2672
01:37:00,125 --> 01:37:02,083
♪ By my insecurities ♪
2673
01:37:02,167 --> 01:37:05,125
♪ Oh, they keep taking me ♪
179882
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