Original subtitles

WELL, WHY IS HE EVEN COMING?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN? BECAUSE HE LOVES US.

YEAH, BUT IT DOESN'T SEEM LIKE GRANDPA TO, YOU KNOW, VISIT.

WELL...I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS -- WHAT'S HER NAME -- CONNIE, IT WAS HER IDEA.

IT'S SO WEIRD TO THINK OF HIM DATING.

MY DAD DATING, MY DAUGHTER DATING --

IT'S ALL WEIRD.

[ GUITAR NOTES PLAY ] ALREADY?

SEE YA.

THAT'S YOUR BREAKFAST -- A YOGURT?

YOGURT IS WHAT GIRLS EAT, DAD.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

I GUESS YOGURT MAKES YOU FAT.

STOP IT.

[ SOUR NOTES PLAY ]

I MEAN -- I MEAN THAT. STOP THAT.

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN ♪

♪ WILL I DIG THE SAME THINGS THAT TURN ME ON AS A KID? ♪

♪ WILL I LOOK BACK AND SAY ♪

♪ THAT I WISH I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID? ♪

♪ WILL I JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ WILL I STILL JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN? ♪

[ GROANS ]

BYE-BYE, WORKIN' MAN. [ CHUCKLES ]

MM.

AWW, YOUR POOR EYE. YEAH.

STOP BY IF YOU WANT TO JUST CHILL LATER, OKAY?

YOU GOT IT.

[ Chuckling ] OKAY.

Owen: LET'S GO, DUDE! LET'S GO!

LET'S GO! [ HANDS CLAPPING ]

YEAH!

LET'S GO!

Owen: I FEEL LIKE TODAY'S THE DAY --

THE DAY WE'RE GONNA GET PAST IT.

I FEEL LIKE WE'RE GONNA GET OUT THERE TODAY

AND PUT SOME BIG NUMBERS UP ON THE BOARD.

ANY NUMBERS.

UH [CHUCKLES]

WE'RE DOING, UH, THE GOOD-COP, BAD-COP THING HERE.

OKAY, WE'RE IN A SLUMP.

IT'S NOT LIKE IT'S THE FIRST TIME.

OKAY, WE'VE GONE THREE DAYS WITHOUT A SALE BEFORE.

BACK IN '92, DURING THE RIOTS.

THANK YOU, BAD COP.

LOOK, L-LET'S JUST GET OUT THERE, OKAY?

THE ONLY WAY TO GET THROUGH A SLUMP IS TO KEEP PUSHING.

ALL RIGHT? HOLD YOUR HEADS UP!

THOREAU CHEVROLET!

HEADS UP!

HEADS UP!

[ Ringing ]

BILL: Hello?

HEY, IT'S, UH, JOE.

Hey.

YOU KNOW, I-I KNOW I OWE YOU GUYS,

AND -- AND I WAS GONNA CALL MANFRO.

OH, YEAH, YEAH, DON'T EVEN WORRY ABOUT MANFRO,

'CAUSE HE'S REALLY IN NO CONDITION.

SO YOU CAN JUST DEAL WITH ME.

UM, THAT'LL BE COOL.

AND, YEAH, UH, JUST -- WHAT'S A GOOD TIME TO COME BY?

I was kind of thinking tonight.

UM, OKAY, EXCEPT --

LOOK, I-I-I DON'T HAVE ALL THE MONEY RIGHT NOW,

BUT I WILL TOMORROW, I SWEAR.

WELL, HEY, OH, YEAH, NO, I'M NOT TRYING TO, UH --

I'M JUST -- JUST, YOU KNOW, I GOT FAMILY COMING BY.

Maria: HEY, MR. T.

HEY, MARIA.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

SHOULDN'T WE MOVE ALL THIS HALLOWEEN STUFF TO THE BACK

SINCE IT'S, YOU KNOW, AFTER VALENTINE'S DAY?

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, YEAH, GOOD IDEA. I THOUGHT WE DID THAT ALREADY.

OKAY, YOU DO THAT.

TAKE THE HORNS OFF, MARIA.

YEAH, SINCE IT'S, UH...

OH HO HO! THERE'S A CURVE.

YEAH! NO, NOT REALLY.

IT'S MORE OF A FORK BALL, ACTUALLY.

Owen: HEY, GUYS!

THIS IS NOT EXACTLY WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT

IN THE MEETING, IS IT?

YOU KNOW, WE'RE NOT UP, SO WE THOUGHT WE'D GET OUT THE KINKS

BEFORE OUR FIRST GAME.

Owen: UNTIL WE SELL A CAR, EVERYBODY'S UP.

UNDERSTAND? [ HANDS CLAPPING ]

ALL RIGHT! ALL HANDS ON DECK! LET'S GO!

SORRY. SORRY.

MORNING, SON.

MORNING, DADDY.

I SEE THE BOYS ARE GETTING EXCITED ABOUT SOFTBALL AGAIN.

YEAH, WELL, THEY, UH, NEED TO GET EXCITED

ABOUT SELLING SOME CARS.

WELL, SURE, BUT IT JUST REMINDED ME

THAT I WANTED TO TALK TO YOU,

BECAUSE I DON'T THINK I'M GONNA MANAGE THE TEAM ANYMORE.

AND WHO BETTER TO HAND THE THOREAU ALL-STARS OVER TO

THAN THE NEW BOSS?

[ CHUCKLES ]

UM, NO. NO, NO, NO.

UH, NO, THANK YOU.

UM, I HAVEN'T PLAYED ON THE TEAM IN 15 YEARS.

I MEAN, I WAS NEVER ANY GOOD WHEN I DID PLAY.

STILL, THE BIG BOSS SHOULD ALWAYS BE THE MANAGER.

DADDY, AREN'T YOU THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS SAYING

THAT I SHOULD AVOID ALL THE DISTRACTIONS

AND FOCUS ON SELLING?

NO, IT'S ALL THE SAME THING, SEE?

LOOK AT THOSE POOR BASTARDS.

MAYBE WHAT THEY NEED FOR THEIR WORK TO IMPROVE

IS SOMETHING TO TAKE THEIR MIND OFF OF WORK.

YOU GOT TO GET THEM EXCITED. YOU GOT TO FIRE 'EM UP!

WHO'S THE FIRST GAME AGAINST?

UH, SCARPULLA, I THINK.

SCARPULLA? THOSE SONS OF BITCHES!

THOSE CUSTOMER-STEALING, BABY-EATING,

NO-COUNT SONS OF BITCHES!

THEY'VE BEATEN US FOR TOO MANY YEARS IN A ROW,

AND THAT SHIT CANNOT STAND!

WELL, SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS IN DISTANCE ]

[ SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]

HERE YOU GO.

[ CHUCKLES ] ALL RIGHT.

HEY, UH, SORRY ABOUT EARLIER.

GOT A LOT ON MY MIND.

OH, YEAH, SURE.

YEAH, SO, UM, SCARPULLA'S OUR FIRST GAME, HUH?

YEAH.

[ CHUCKLES ] THOSE SONS OF BITCHES.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HEY, I THINK I'M GONNA BE MANAGING THE TEAM THIS YEAR.

SENIOR PASSED THE OL' CLIPBOARD ON TO ME.

FROM WHAT HE TELLS ME, WE GOT A STRONG TEAM THIS YEAR.

IT'S EXCITING, RIGHT?

GOOD TEAM OUT THERE ON THE FIELD,

GOOD TEAM HERE ON THE FLOOR.

MM-HMM, YEAH.

SO, ANYWAY, YOU'RE RIGHT, LAWRENCE,

I MEAN, NO USE EVERYBODY BEING IN HERE -- RIGHT? --

UNLESS YOU WANT TO [CHUCKLES] TRY TO SELL EACH OTHER CARS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, YEAH, YOU CAN TOSS A BALL AROUND OUT BACK

IF YOU -- IF YOU WANT. YEAH.

WHOO!

UM, THAT'S WHY WE HAVE PRACTICE, RIGHT?

[ CHUCKLES ] SORRY.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

[ DOORKNOB RATTLES ]

HEY.

UH, HI.

WOW. LOOK AT YOU.

I KNOW I SAID THAT WE'D JUST HANG OUT HERE

AND CHILL AND EVERYTHING, BUT I FORGOT THAT I PROMISED LINDSEY

I'D GO CHECK OUT THIS NEW PLACE WITH HER.

UH, THAT -- THAT'S OKAY.

REALLY? SURE.

YOU'RE AWESOME.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

HEY.

Stella: OKAY. LET'S GO.

SO, THE GUYS SAID THEY'LL BE AT THE BAR TILL 11:00.

OH, GOOD, 'CAUSE I KIND OF GOT TO GET UP EARLY FOR --

SO WE'LL MEET THEM THERE AND THEN GO TO THE CLUB, OKAY?

OKAY.

[ APPLAUSE ]

DAD, YOU COULD BEAT ANY WOMAN GOLFER IN THE WORLD, RIGHT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S ENTIRELY TRUE, ACTUALLY.

I THINK IT IS.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT I WROTE ON FACEBOOK.

WHAT?

WHAT? OH, WHY WOULD YOU WRITE THAT?

[ DOORBELL RINGS ]

WHO'S THAT NOW?

OH, BOY.

LUCY, I TOLD YOU NOT TO INVITE ANYBODY OVER!

OH.

HEY. HEY.

MICHELLE, WHAT'S -- WHAT'S WRONG?

[ Voice breaking ] I LOST THE ACCOUNT.

WHAT ACCOUNT?

THE ACCOUNT, JOE. VEXIPHARM.

RIGHT. OH, RIGHT.

YEAH. YEAH, THE ACCOUNT.

LAST QUARTER, WE GET THE CALL

TO HELP THEM REORGANIZE AND LAY A BUNCH OF PEOPLE OFF.

I COME OUT HERE READY FOR THREE MONTHS OF WORK.

NOW THEY GOT SOME NEW WONDER DRUG,

AND THEIR STOCK'S WAY UP, AND I'M GONNA GET FIRED.

OH, HEY, UH, COME HERE, COME HERE.

DO YOU WANT TO, UM... [ SOBS ]

SHOULD WE JUST -- LET'S GO SOMEPLACE.

WE'LL TALK ABOUT IT. NO, NO, NO, NO.

CAN WE JUST STAY HERE? YOU DON'T WANT

TO GO SOMEWHERE?

I DON'T FEEL LIKE BEING AROUND PEOPLE.

I'M IN SUCH A SHITTY MOOD.

OH. OH, S-SORRY.

YEAH, NO, IT'S OKAY.

LUCY, ALBERT, THIS IS MICHELLE.

HEY.

HI. YEAH, SHE, UM --

WE, UM...

THIS IS MICHELLE.

[ DANCE MUSIC PLAYING ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

YOU KNOW, I HEARD THIS GUY TWO YEARS AGO IN PRAGUE.

Stella: REALLY? YEAH.

THAT'S SO COOL.

I WOULD LOVE TO GO THERE.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN TO PRAGUE?

UH, YEAH, YEAH.

I WENT BACKPACKING THERE AFTER COLLEGE.

YOU KNOW, BACK THEN, ALL THOSE COUNTRIES,

THEY WERE STILL COMMUNIST, RIGHT?

[ CHUCKLES ] YEAH.

Lindsey: DOES ANYONE KNOW THIS ONE?

IF WE CAN ANSWER

WE GET A FREE ROUND.

SO, WHERE YOU WANT TO GO AFTER THIS?

OH, UM...

I THINK WE'LL PROBABLY JUST GO HOME AND CRASH.

PROBABLY JUST GO HOME AND CRASH.

[ BIRDS CHIRPING ]

SO, I SEE YOU HAD A FRIEND SLEEP OVER LAST NIGHT.

YEAH, SHE SLEPT ON THE COUCH.

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

HI.

HEY, HEY. GRANDPA'S HERE!

WELL, UH, YOU GUYS ARE EARLY, HUH?

YOU MADE IT. OF COURSE WE MADE IT.

YEAH, HEY, HI.

HEY, KIDS.

HEY, GRANDPA. HEY.

HIGH FIVE.

SOCK IT TO ME. [ CHUCKLES ]

HI.

SWEETHEART, WHERE'S THE BATHROOM?

OH, THANKS.

Connie: WELL [ CHUCKLES ] SO...

HOW WAS THE DRIVE?

IT WAS FINE.

YEAH.

[ FORK WHISKING ]

Stella: WOW.

[ Chuckling ] IT SMELLS SO GOOD IN HERE.

HEY. YEAH, IT'S SOMETHING NEW I'M TRYING,

SO PLEASE DON'T JUDGE IT TOO HARSHLY, OKAY?

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

[ YAWNS ] [ Chuckling ] SORRY.

HEY, I, UH --

I KNOW THAT THAT WAS TOTALLY NOT YOUR SCENE LAST NIGHT.

IT'S NOT REALLY MY SCENE, EITHER.

IT'S JUST THAT MY ROOMMATE --

I HAD FUN LAST NIGHT.

REALLY?

YEAH, REALLY.

IT WAS REALLY GREAT TO GET TO SEE YOU,

YOU KNOW, IN YOUR -- IN YOUR REAL LIFE.

YEAH?

OH, HANG ON.

UH...OKAY.

THERE WE GO.

HAVE A BITE BEFORE IT GETS COLD.

OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]

[ FORK SCRAPING ]

MM.

SO, JOE, HOW'S THE GOLF GOING?

OH, UH, IT'S -- YEAH, GOOD.

I MEAN, YEAH.

YOU KNOW.

ARTIE IS ALWAYS GOING ON

ABOUT YOU TRYING TO MAKE THE SENIOR TOUR.

OH, YEAH?

AND I GET TO CADDIE FOR HIM AT HIS QUALIFYING TOURNAMENT.

OH. YEAH, THAT'S NICE.

NICE.

A BOY AND HIS SON.

YEAH, THAT'S -- YEP.

SHIT.

OH, I'M SORRY.

I'M SORRY. OH [CHUCKLES] WHOOPS.

UM, I'M IN THE MIDDLE OF A CRISIS AT WORK,

AND -- AND I WAS JUST CHECKING TO SEE IF, UM...

SORRY. [ CHUCKLES ]

THAT'S OKAY.

I MEAN, I'M A WORKAHOLIC, TOO, YOU KNOW,

OR SO CONNIE HERE TELLS ME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO, HOW DID YOU TWO MEET? HMM?

OH, WELL, UM...

I WAS HAVING SOME TROUBLE WITH THE WIRING IN MY APARTMENT,

AND THE LANDLORD WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

SO ARTIE HERE OFFERED TO FIX IT FOR ME,

AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

YOU TWO LIVE IN THE SAME BUILDING?

YEAH. WELL,

THAT'S JOE AND I MET.

NO? UH-HUH.

THAT'S GOOD. PASS THE STRAWBERRY.

NO, I KNOW.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE,

BUT THEY SAY THEY NEED GIRLS, SO...

[ CHUCKLES ] YEAH, NO KIDDING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HEY, YOU KNOW, FOR THE GAME, WE NEED TWO GIRLS, RIGHT?

YEAH. WHAT ABOUT, UM...

WHAT'S HER FACE FROM SERVICE?

DOESN'T SHE PLAY?

NO ONE FROM SERVICE IS PLAYING THIS YEAR.

WHAT DO YOU -- WELL, WHAT ABOUT JESSE?

NO ONE FROM SERVICE IS PLAYING.

[ ZIPPER ZIPS ] WHY?

I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE BECAUSE THEY'RE DICKS.

Terry: HEY, BOSS.

HEY.

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THESE GUYS?

I SHOULD HAVE BROUGHT A DEFIBRILLATOR.

WELL, YOU CAN'T EXACTLY GET ON PEOPLE FOR BEING OUT OF SHAPE.

ME?

NAH, I'M LIKE A FREIGHT TRAIN.

I START SLOW, BUT ONCE I GET GOING,

I CAN'T BE STOPPED.

[ LAUGHS ]

MAN, I'M DRAGGING TODAY. SUCH A LATE NIGHT.

UNH-UNH, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR ABOUT IT.

YOU OFF GALLIVANTING WITH YOUR YOUNG LADY.

OH, NO, NO, IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

IT'S JUST, UH...

I DON'T KNOW, THIS ONE, SHE'S -- SHE'S DIFFERENT.

[ LAUGHS ]

ALL RIGHT! LET'S SEE WHAT WE GOT!

COME ON, GUYS! HEADS UP!

A LITTLE HIGH, A LITTLE HIGH.

NOW THAT'S A LITTLE LOW, A LITTLE LOW.

HEY, NOW. HEY, THAT'S GONE STRAIGHT.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

HEY, UM, WHAT'S UP WITH THE SOFTBALL THIS YEAR?

YEAH, A COUPLE OF US GUYS FOUND A DIFFERENT LEAGUE.

YOU KNOW, WE THOUGHT WE'D GIVE IT A SHOT.

WELL, WE COULD HAVE DEFINITELY USED YOU TODAY.

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN OUR FIRST PRACTICE --

WASN'T PRETTY.

[ Chuckling ] YEAH.

WELL, YOU KNOW, IT'S, UH -- IT'S AN ENTIRE SUNDAY.

IT'S, UH -- WHAT DO YOU CALL IT? --

TIME-INTENSIVE.

THERE'S NO WAY I CAN FORCE YOU TO PLAY FOR THOREAU, RIGHT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

AS YOUR BOSS?

[ CHUCKLES ]

ALL RIGHT, UM, WELL, UM, I'LL LET YOU GET BACK TO IT.

OKAY, CHIEF.

[ SIGHS ]

SHIT.

HEY, UM, I'M -- I'M GOING OUT NOW.

SO, IS IT A GOOD TIME?

BILL: Uh, yeah, come now, 'cause I'm heading home soon.

Come around the back. We're crazy busy.

ALL RIGHT, OKAY, GREAT.

UH, OKAY, SO, I'M GONNA GO.

WHAT SHOULD I GET IF THEY DON'T HAVE "TWILIGHT: EQUINOX"?

"TWILIGHT: ECLIPSE," DAD.

AND THEY HAVE IT. I JUST CALLED.

OKAY, BUT WHAT IF THEY DON'T?

JUST GO.

OKAY, I'M GOING WITH YOU.

I'M GETTING A LITTLE CABIN FEVER.

OH.

HEY.

HI.

ARE -- ARE YOU OKAY?

YOU -- YOU HAVE A, LIKE...

YEAH. UH, LONG -- LONG STORY.

I-I'M SORRY FOR COMING BY WITHOUT, UH...

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

I KNOW I CAN'T COME IN. RANDY'S PROBABLY HERE, SO...

NO. NO, HE'S NOT -- HE'S NOT HERE, BUT...

YEAH, O-OKAY, WHATEVER.

I HAD TO TALK TO YOU, 'CAUSE I-I WANTED TO SAY...

UM, OKAY.

RIGHT NOW, I-I FEEL LIKE I DON'T KNOW

WHETHER I'M WAITING FOR YOU...

OR TRYING TO FORGET ABOUT YOU.

YOU KNOW, AND, EITHER WAY, I CAN DEAL WITH IT.

I JUST NEED TO KNOW WHICH IT IS THAT I'M DOING.

'CAUSE I CAN MOVE ON

IF THAT'S WHAT I HAVE TO DO, ALL RIGHT?

BUT I DON'T WANT TO MOVE ON UNLESS I HAVE TO,

BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, I...

I REALLY MISS YOU.

SO, IF, YOU KNOW -- IF YOU COULD JUST...

HELP ME OUT AT ALL WITH THAT...

TERRY.

I'M SORRY.

I'M -- I'M SO SORRY IF I HURT YOU, OR...

NAH.

IT'S OKAY.

I'M SORRY.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

Joe: I'M, UH, JUST GONNA, UM...

I GOT TO GO SEE A FRIEND OF MINE, OKAY?

IT'S GONNA BE ONE SECOND. I'M JUST --

HEY, OH, I WAS GONNA COME -- IT'S ALL THERE.

AND, UH, GIVE ME $500 ON THE CUBS, WILL YA?

SORRY, BUT WE'RE SLAMMED IN THERE.

OKAY, ALL RIGHT.

[ PAPER RUSTLING ]

OKAY, LET'S, UH -- LET'S GO GET "TWILIGHT."

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ] JOE, UH...

JOE, W-WHAT -- WHAT JUST HAPPENED?

OH, NOTHING.

SERIOUSLY, ABSOLUTELY NOTHING.

JOE, ARE YOU INVOLVED IN GAMBLING?

[ CHUCKLES ] NO. NO.

YEAH, YOU ARE.

OH, MY GOD. OH, MY GOD!

YOU'RE LIKE A DANGEROUS GUY WITH A SECRET.

YEAH. YEAH, YOU ARE.

[ Chuckling ] NO, NO, NO, NO.

YEAH, LIKE JASON BOURNE. YEAH, I'M NOT.

ALL RIGHT, LOOK, YOU KNOW WHAT? NO, NO, LISTEN, LISTEN.

A GUY -- A GUY I KNOW, HE JUST GOT SICK.

HEY.

YOU'RE DANGEROUS, OKAY?

I'M NOT, BUT...

UH-HUH. UH-HUH.

YOU ARE.

[ MOANS ]

WAIT.

[ HORN HONKS ]

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S WEIRD.

MAN, HE HOLDS HER HAND A LOT.

THAT'S A BAD THING?

IT'S JUST I'M NOT USED TO MY DAD

BEING AFFECTIONATE WITH ANYBODY.

OH, I SAY, GOOD FOR ARTIE FOR FINDING SOMEBODY.

IT'S INSPIRING.

JUST SHOWS YOU IT'S NEVER TOO LATE, YOU KNOW?

NEVER TOO LATE.

HEY, LAURA'S IN THE BACK.

I COULD USE ANOTHER WOMAN ON THE SOFTBALL TEAM.

THINK SHE CAN PLAY?

UM...YEAH, THAT DIDN'T REALLY, UM...

NO, I DON'T THINK THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

GOD, I HATE YOUR PENIS.

HEY, YOU GONNA DO THE WHOLE FAMILY THING FOR THE GAME,

LIKE YOUR FATHER DID,

AND RENT ONE OF MY BOUNCE HOUSES AND THE WHOLE SETUP?

FINE, YEAH, I GUESS.

I MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO. IT'S UP TO YOU.

NO, IT'S JUST, UM, YOU KNOW, THIS WHOLE THING.

MY DAD SAYS SOFTBALL'S SUPPOSED TO BRING EVERYBODY TOGETHER,

BUT NOW SERVICE WON'T PLAY BECAUSE THEY HATE SALES.

GUYS ARE FIGHTING OVER POSITIONS THEY ALL SUCK AT.

AND SOFTBALL'S JUST ANOTHER PAIN IN MY ASS.

JUST A GAME, O.

DON'T PUT THAT ON THE LIST OF OTHER SHIT YOU GOT

TO WORRY ABOUT, TOO.

AND THE IDEA OF TEAM BUILDING IN THE CAR BUSINESS?

THAT'S BULLSHIT ANYWAY.

YOU KNOW, CAR SALESMEN ARE ONLY OUT FOR THEMSELVES.

THERE'S NO TEAM.

EVERY GUY'S JUST TRYING TO MAKE A BUCK.

SCREW THE OTHER GUY.

THE BUSINESS WE'RE IN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN.

SOUNDS LIKE YOU COULD USE A LITTLE TIME IN THE BOUNCE HOUSE.

I KNOW IT SOUNDS LIKE I'M GONNA SAY, "IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN."

BUT, NO, THAT JUST MEANS WHAT IT MEANS.

BOTH OF YOU.

HEY, YOU KNOW, I'M TAKING MY DAD AND CONNIE TO THE GAME.

WOW. YOU REALLY DID RUN OUT OF SHIT TO DO WITH THEM.

YEAH, WELL, I MEAN, IT'S EITHER SOFTBALL

OR THE ONE PUZZLE I OWN AGAIN.

WHAT'S HER STORY?

MARIA? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

SHE PLAY SOFTBALL?

HMM. I DON'T KNOW.

'CAUSE ISN'T SHE A...

...YOU KNOW...

...LESBIAN?

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT?

SO, JUST AUTOMATICALLY SHE LIKES SOFTBALL

'CAUSE SHE'S A LESBIAN?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE?

YOU REALIZE THAT'S LIKE SAYING THAT YOU'RE GOOD AT SPORTS

BECAUSE YOU'RE BLACK, AND WE ALL KNOW...

ALL RIGHT.

[ CHUCKLES ] I DON'T KNOW.

I GUESS I JUST ASSUMED, YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

PROBABLY 'CAUSE OF THAT LESBIAN BASEBALL MOVIE.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

THE ONE WITH ALL THE WOMEN?

"A LEAGUE OF THEIR OWN"? THEY WEREN'T LESBIANS.

THEY WERE PLAYING BASEBALL BECAUSE THE MEN WERE OFF AT WAR.

OH.

RIGHT.

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, FREAK.

SO, UM, ASK HER FOR ME?

[ SIGHS ]

Come on!

HEY, UH, YOU REMEMBER MY FRIEND OWEN.

YEAH. SURE.

UH, YEAH, WELL, HIS, UH -- HIS COMPANY,

THEY HAVE A SOFTBALL TEAM AND THEY NEED ANOTHER GIRL.

A LADY, WOMAN.

NEED A WOMAN TO, UH, PLAY FOR THEIR TEAM.

OH, WHAT, BECAUSE --

[ Chuckling ] NO.

NO, NOT THAT.

NOT WHAT? WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

BECAUSE I USED TO PLAY SOFTBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL.

RIGHT.

VARSITY.

PLAYED VARSITY, RIGHT?

YEAH, I-I'D PLAY, BUT I'M SUPPOSED TO WORK ALL DAY, RIGHT?

JUST TAKE THE AFTERNOON OFF IF YOU WANT.

OKAY. HAVE A GOOD TIME, YEAH.

COOL.

HEY. HEY, I CAN PLAY.

HEY. GREAT.

SHE'S REAL GOOD, 'CAUSE, UM, SHE PLAYED VARSITY.

REALLY? Joe: YEAH.

THAT'S GREAT.

AND I'M A LESBIAN, SO...

[ HORN HONKS ]

[ HORN HONKS ] COME ON!

LOOK, IF IT WAS UP TO ME, WE'D PLAY, REALLY, BUT MY GUYS --

WE'RE GONNA HAVE A HOT DOG CART AND ICEES

AND A BOUNCE HOUSE FOR THE KIDS!

OWEN. OKAY, LOOK!

I'LL PAY YOUR GUYS TO PLAY.

OKAY, YOU CAN PUNCH THEM ALL IN BEFORE THE GAME.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

TIME AND A HALF, RIGHT,

WHAT WITH IT BEING SUNDAY AND ALL?

FINE. YES. YES.

YOU WANT TO CALL ME BACK WHEN YOU TALK TO THEM?

THEY'LL DO IT.

OKAY, UM, I'LL SEE YOU THERE.

4:00.

4:00. OH, HEY, AND, UM...

...DON'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT THIS TO THE GUYS IN SALES.

THOSE PRICKS AREN'T GETTING THE SAME DEAL?

[ Chuckling ] OH, I LOVE IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HEY, IS STELLA HERE?

STELLA!

HI. HI.

HEY.

MM.

OKAY.

OOH, AAH... OH!

ARE YOU OKAY? YEAH, YEAH.

YEAH, NO, IT'S JUST SOFTBALL.

[ Chuckling ] OH. BUT IT'S -- I'M GOOD.

IT'S GOOD.

UM, RIGHT NOW IS, UH...

OH. GOSH, UM...

MY PARENTS ARE IN TOWN.

OH, OKAY. YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ]

THEY'RE HERE TO HAVE, LIKE, ORANGE JUICE AND BAGELS.

AND I FIGURED YOU'D WANT TO BEAT A HASTY RETREAT, GIVEN THAT,

WHICH IS TOTALLY COOL.

I LOVE BAGELS AND ORANGE JUICE.

ALL RIGHT, WELL, COME IN. [ CHUCKLES ]

OKAY.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

AND NONE OF YOU KIDS KNEW WHO GEORGE McGOVERN WAS?

TERRY SINGLE-HANDEDLY WON US A FREE ROUND OF DRINKS.

POOR BASTARD.

WOUND UP AN ANSWER TO A TRIVIA QUESTION.

[ TERRY LAUGHS ]

SURE WAS A FUN NIGHT, THOUGH, HMM?

OH, STELLA, BEFORE I FORGET, WE NEED TO COORDINATE YOU

GETTING OFF OF OUR HEALTH INSURANCE.

OKAY, WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

OH, AND DID YOU CALL GRANDMA?

SINCE YOU WON'T BE HOME FOR HER BIRTHDAY,

I THINK IT'D REALLY MEAN A LOT.

I KNOW, MOM.

I GATHERED THAT THE FIRST FOUR TIMES YOU MENTIONED IT.

[ CHUCKLES ] OKAY.

OH.

DID YOU NOT GET ENOUGH?

THERE'S MORE IN THE FRIDGE. GEEZ.

I'LL GET IT.

[ SIGHS ]

Stella: TERRY, COULD YOU ALSO BRING SOME BAGELS?

YEAH.

Owen: ALL RIGHT!

ARE WE READY TO DO THIS?!

[ HANDS CLAPPING ] READY TO DO THIS?

Lawrence: COME ON, GUYS.

THE BOSS ASKED YOU A QUESTION.

ARE WE READY TO DO THIS? 'CAUSE I'M READY!

I'M CRAZY AND I'M READY!

[ Chuckling ] OKAY! LAWRENCE HAS THE RIGHT IDEA.

NO NEED TO PUNCH YOURSELF IN THE NUTS, THOUGH.

HEY! WE GOT A GAME TO PLAY OR WHAT?

OH. HEY, GUYS.

HOW YOU DOING, BOSS? WE, UH, DECIDED TO PLAY.

OH, GOOD. GLAD TO HAVE YOU.

ALL RIGHT! HAVE WE GOT A TEAM, OR WHAT?!

YEAH, NOW.

[ LAUGHTER ]

STILL DICKS.

Terry: HEY, MARCUS.

JUST WANTED TO, UH, SAY "HEY."

AND, UH, GOOD LUCK.

LISTEN, UH, NO HARD FEELINGS, OKAY?

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

OKAY.

GOOD, THEN.

OH. IT LOOKS LIKE YOU HAVE A TEAM THIS YEAR.

OKAY, GO AHEAD, TRASH-TALK ALL YOU WANT,

BUT IF YOU ASK ME, YOUR GUYS ARE LOOKING A LITTLE OVERCONFIDENT.

ALL RIGHT, NO TRASH-TALKING.

BY THE WAY, HOW ARE YOU DOING?

FINE.

YEAH, I THOUGHT SO.

BUT THEN YOUR BEST SALESMAN COMES TO ME LOOKING FOR A JOB.

JUST, YOU KNOW, BAD BLOOD ASIDE,

IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT OVER THERE?

UM, YEAH. DOING GOOD.

YEAH? GOOD?

GOOD.

LET'S HAVE SOME FUN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CHILDREN SHOUTING INDISTINCTLY ]

HEY, YOU.

OH, HEY. HOW YOU DOING?

HEY. GIVE ME A KISS.

HOW ARE WE DOING?

WELL, THERE'S NO SCORE.

WOW, LOOK AT THIS.

I'D LIKE TO GIVE THIS THING A TRY.

KNOW WHAT I MEAN, JOE, HUH?

YEAH.

I'M GONNA GO SIT OVER THERE.

YEAH, THEY'RE OVER THERE. I'LL BE THERE IN A MINUTE.

THERE YOU ARE, MY DEAR.

THANK YOU.

OH, UH.

GOOD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH. [ SIGHS ]

CAN WE GO TO THE BOUNCE HOUSE NOW?

NO, NO, YOU'RE GONNA WATCH SOME OF YOUR DADDY'S GAME FIRST.

[ SIGHS ] OKAY.

Woman: WHOO! Man:

LET'S GO, MARCUS!

COME ON, MARCUS!

WHOO!

YEAH!

[ APPLAUSE ]

OH, COME ON, MAN!

WHOO! HEY!

GOT TO KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE BALL, HOLLYWOOD.

OH, MY BAD. I'M SORRY.

GO, BABY! GO!

WHOO!

WHOO!

COME ON, THOREAU!

COME ON!

YEAH, GUYS! HEADS UP!

KEEP YOUR HEADS UP!

COME ON.

[ CHEERING ]

THEY AIN'T READY, Y'ALL. HERE WE GO. HERE WE GO.

OKAY, YOU CAN GO TO THE BOUNCE HOUSE NOW. GO AHEAD.

YES!

UH, WHAT DO YOU SAY WE SAVE THE DRINKING FOR AFTER WE WIN, HUH?

[ CHUCKLES ]

HEY, LET ME HAVE A BEER, MAN.

SORRY, MAN, WE ONLY BROUGHT 24.

AW.

COME ON. DO SOMETHING.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

GIRL'S UP! EVERYBODY MOVE IN!

COME IN, COME IN.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

ALL RIGHT, MARIA! YEAH! COME ON, NOW!

OH!

WHO'S THAT?

SHE WORKS WITH JOE.

ALL RIGHT!

COME ON, GUYS, GET OFF YOUR ASSES!

COME ON!

MARIA!

WHOO!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE CONTINUE ]

WHOO!

HEY, NICE HIT. THANKS.

WHAT'S HE PAYING YOU? WHAT?

OH, COME ON, HE'S GOT TO BE PAYING YOU MORE

THAN HE'S PAYING ME AND MY GUYS.

HEY, COACH,

YOU CAN'T PAY THE GUYS AND NOT THE GIRLS.

IT'S SEXIST.

WAIT, WHAT?

OH, SHIT.

WHO'S GETTING PAID?

TIME AND A HALF, ESE.

WHAT THE HELL?!

LET'S JUST, UH, FOCUS ON THE GAME, GUYS.

COME ON. COME ON, ALEXIS!

GIVE IT A RIDE!

[ LAUGHTER ]

OH, THIS IS BULLSHIT!

I'M SORRY, MR. THOREAU.

Jesse: HEY, WE DIDN'T EVEN WANT TO DO THIS.

THE BOSS OFFERED THE MONEY.

OH, YEAH? 'CAUSE I DON'T SEE THAT MONEY UP ON THE SCOREBOARD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO TAKE A STEP BACK, LITTLE MAN.

BRING IT! SERIOUSLY, WHERE ARE THE RUNS?

SIT DOWN. HOW MUCH YOU GETTING PAID?

COME ON, SIT DOWN.

GONNA DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS?

JUST SIT DOWN.

SERIOUSLY. SERIOUSLY.

COME ON.

SELL YOUR SOUL TO THE DEVIL.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

COME ON, OWEN! COME ON!

Senior: YEAH, COME ON, SON! COME ON, NOW!

COME ON, SON!

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

WHOO! GO, GO, GO,

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

GO, GO, GO, GO! RUN, RUN, RUN, YOU!

AAH. UGH.

[ CROWD MURMURING ]

AW.

[ COUGHING ]

GOD DAMN IT!

YOU STUPID SON OF A BITCH!

AW, COME ON, NOW. KEEP YOUR HEAD UP, OWEN.

HEAD UP. [ CHUCKLES ]

GEEZ.

[ SIGHS ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

IT'S ALL RIGHT, BOSS.

GOOD HUSTLE.

SORRY, BOSS.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

COME ON, JESSE!

COME ON! LET'S SEE SOMETHING HERE!

COME ON, JESSE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YEAH! ALL RIGHT, JESSE!

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT!

HIT THE RELAY, HIT THE RELAY, HIT THE RELAY!

BOSS?

SEE THAT, BOSS?

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

HERE WE GO, BRUCE!

BRUCE! BRUCE!

BRUCIE!

BRU-U-U-CE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WHOA!

OH!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

BRU-U-U-CE!

BRUCE!

WHOO!

BRU-U-U-CE!

THEY'RE NOT BOOING!

THEY'RE YELLING "BRU-U-U-CE!"

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ SHOUTS INDISTINCTLY ]

WHOO, WHOO, WHOO, WHOO!

COME ON!

HEY-YO!

WHOO!

HEY! THAT ALL YOU GOT, MARCUS?

BRING IT! BRING IT, YOU LITTLE BITCH!

OH! LET'S GO!

I'M A CRAZY MAN! YOU CAN'T BEAT A CRAZY MAN!

YEAH, BITCH! YOU CAN'T BEAT A CRAZY MAN!

HE CRAZY!!

WHAT YOU GOT NOW, BIOTCH?!

OH!

WHOO-HOO!

COME ON, NOW!

I'M IN YOUR HEAD!

NICE!

ALL RIGHT, LITTLE MAN! NICE ONE.

LAWRENCE?

[ LAUGHS ]

COME ON, KAREN, YOU GOT TO RUN!

WE'LL BE ALL RIGHT. LAST THREE YEARS, SAME SHIT.

THEY GET CLOSE, AND THEY END UP CHOKING!

IT'S WHAT THEY DO!

LET'S GO, LET'S GO! PICK IT UP, PICK IT UP!

STRIKE!

COME ON, SCARPULLA. LET'S GO. TURN IT UP.

[ APPLAUSE ]

Umpire: FOUL BALL!

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

STRIKE THREE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

GEEZ.

COME ON, GUYS. COME ON NOW.

LET'S GO. LET'S GO.

HEY.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

I WENT BY THE DEALERSHIP,

AND THEY, YOU KNOW -- THEY SAID YOU'D BE HERE.

OH, GOOD. YEAH.

I GUESS I MISS YOU, TOO.

YEAH?

[ Chuckling ] YEAH.

SO I'M HERE.

REALLY, FOR REAL.

UH, YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN ACTING PRETTY CRAZY SINCE YOU LEFT.

REALLY? BATTER UP!

OH, NO, NO, IT'S NOTHING YOU WANT TO KNOW.

YO, TERRY, YOU'RE UP!

GO.

YOU STAYING TILL THE END?

[ WHISTLES ] YEAH.

[ APPLAUSE ]

TERRY!

COME ON, T!

WHOO-HOO!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

COME ON, TERRY!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

YOU THE MAN!

NO LOCK ON THE LADIES' ROOM,

SO I'M GONNA STAND GUARD FOR CONNIE.

OH, OKAY.

HOW'S THE BET GOING?

EH, IT'S ALL RIGHT. YEAH.

[ PURRING ] [ CHUCKLES ]

SO...MICHELLE, HUH?

YEAH. [ CHUCKLES ]

DIDN'T YOU TELL ME YOU WERE SEEING A HYGIENIST OR SOMETHING?

OH, DORI, YEAH.

UH, OH, THAT WAS JUST KIND OF LIKE A BLIND DATE.

YOU KNOW, I SAW HER A COUPLE TIMES,

BUT JUST DIDN'T WORK OUT, YOU KNOW.

OH.

WELL, MICHELLE SEEMS LIKE A LOT OF FUN.

YEAH, SHE IS.

SHE'S NOT THE ONE FOR YOU,

BUT NOTHING'S WRONG WITH A LITTLE FUN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

AFTER YOUR MOM DIED,

I WENT THROUGH THAT SAME KIND OF THING.

BOY, DID I EVER. [ CHUCKLES ]

YEAH?

MM-HMM.

YOU GOT TO DO IT. YOU GOT TO GET IT OUT.

CAN'T BE READY RIGHT AWAY

FOR SOMETHING THAT MEANS SOMETHING, YOU KNOW?

YEAH, I KNOW.

[ CROWD GROANS ]

I GOT TO, UH, CHECK ON THE BOUNCE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ SIGHS ]

WHAT THE HELL?

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA. WHOA, HEY. HEY, HEY.

WHAT ABOUT ALL THOSE THINGS YOU SAID TO ME, TERRY?

OH, WHOA, WHOA. STELLA.

WHAT ABOUT, "OH, I LIKE TO SPEND TIME WITH YOU"

OR "I WANT TO MEET YOUR PARENTS"

OR "LET ME GO BACK AND GET MORE BAGELS"?

WHAT ABOUT THAT?

LOOK, IT WAS WRONG FOR ME TO SAY ALL THAT STUFF.

I'M IN LOVE WITH SOMEBODY ELSE, AND I'M --

[ Sarcastically ] OH. OH, GREAT.

GOOD FOR YOU, GRANDPA. FANTASTIC.

Man: HEY, HEY! WE'RE PLAYING A GAME HERE!

OH, YEAH?!

OH, STELLA.

[ GRUNTS ]

YOU CAN'T -- WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

[ Chuckling ] COME ON.

HOLY SHIT.

STELLA.

[ Chanting ] ASSHOLE!

ASSHOLE!

GOOD LORD.

Stella: ASSHOLE!

ASSHOLE!!

BITCH STOLE SECOND.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

NOT EXACTLY SURE WHAT THAT WAS. YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M JUST GONNA GO GET ANOTHER BASE FROM ANOTHER FIELD

SO WE CAN KEEP PLAYING.

COME ON BACK, MAN! COME ON!

COME ON, GUYS. IT'S NEVER OVER TILL IT'S OVER.

COME ON, COME ON.

GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO, GO!

GO, GO, GO, GO!

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

YOU'RE OUT!

[ CROWD GROANS ]

OUT?

HE'S SAFE!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? THAT WASN'T EVEN CLOSE!

COME ON! DID YOU SEE THAT?

Woman: THAT'S OKAY, TERRY.

[ ARGENT'S "HOLD YOUR HEAD UP" PLAYS ]

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

GIRL'S UP!

MOVE IT IN!

EVERYBODY IN.

[ INDISTINCT SHOUTING ]

Jesse: COME ON, OWEN! IT'S UP TO YOU!

BRING THE LITTLE MAN HOME! YOU CAN DO IT!

[ SIGHS ] YOU CAN DO IT!

Carl: YOU CAN DO IT, BOSS! COME ON!

WE NEED YOU! TIE THIS UP, BABY!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

WE NEED YOU, BABY!

COME ON. THE BASES LOADED.

YOU CAN'T SCORE A RUN, RIGHT?

COME ON, BABY, COME ON!

Boy: COME ON, DAD!

COME ON, SON!

♪ AND IF IT'S BAD ♪

♪ DON'T LET IT GET YOU DOWN ♪ YOU READY?

Kevin: IT'S ALL YOU, MARCUS. YOU GOT THIS.

♪ YOU CAN TAKE IT ♪

LITTLE MAN, WATCH ME.

♪ AND IF IT HURTS ♪

♪ DON'T LET THEM SEE YOU CRY ♪

♪ YOU CAN MAKE IT ♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH ♪

GO, GO, GO!

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

Jesse: GO, GO, GO, GO!

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH ♪

OKAY, STOP!

HOLD OFF!

STOP! NO!

[ INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

[ WHISTLE BLOWS ]

SAFE!

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH ♪

ARE YOU OKAY? I'M FINE!

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

THAT'S MY BIG MAN! ♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

THAT'S MY BOY!

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

YEAH!

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH ♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

ALL RIGHT, THOREAU!

WAY TO GO! WHOO!

♪ JUST LET THEM BURN THEIR EYES ON YOUR MOVING ♪

♪ AND IF THEY SHOUT ♪

♪ DON'T LET IT CHANGE A THING THAT YOU'RE DOING ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪ [ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

[ INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ] ♪ HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪

♪ OH, HOLD YOUR HEAD UP ♪