Original subtitles

♪ TONIGHT YOU'RE MINE COMPLETELY ♪

♪ YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE SO SWEETLY ♪

♪ TONIGHT, THE LIGHT OF LOVE IS IN YOUR EYES ♪

[ WHISTLES ]

HEY, DAD.

HEY, GUYS. WHAT'S UP?

UH, WAIT. WHERE'S MY LUNCH?

OH. AW! HURRY. GO GET IT.

NO. I'LL JUST BUY.

I'M NOT GOING BACK IN THERE.

YEAH. JUST GO, DAD. NO, NO. GO.

HURRY. COME ON.

NO. MOM'S ACTING KIND OF CRAZY, SO REALLY, IT'S OKAY.

YEAH. DAD, GO. WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.

[ SIGHS ]

SO, WHAT'S, UH, GOING ON WITH MOM?

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE'S BEEN IN A REALLY BITCHY MOOD FOR NO

REASON ALL WEEK.

ALL RIGHT, DON'T SAY THAT.

AND I'M GUESSING THERE'S A LITTLE MORE

TO THE STORY MAYBE.

YEAH. MOM'S JUST BEEN REALLY WEIRD LATELY --

SO EMOTIONAL AND CRYING AND MOODY AND --

CRYING? YEAH.

ABOUT LIKE NOTHING.

HONESTLY, I THINK SHE'S GOING THROUGH THE CHANGE.

OH, REALLY?

AND YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

I DO, BECAUSE I AM SMART.

OKAY. [ CHUCKLES ]

WELL, I'M SURE IT COULD BE ANY NUMBER OF THINGS.

JUST DON'T YOU GUYS MAKE IT WORSE BY BEING ALL --

OKAY. WE GOT IT, DAD. YEAH.

WHAT'S THE CHANGE?

DAD?

YEAH, I HEARD YOU.

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN ♪

♪ WILL I DIG THE SAME THINGS THAT TURN ME ON AS A KID? ♪

♪ WILL I LOOK BACK AND SAY ♪

♪ THAT I WISH I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID? ♪

♪ WILL I JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ WILL I STILL JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN? ♪

[ LAUGHS ] RIGHT?

Owen: YEAH, IT IS.

WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT, YOU'RE DONE ALREADY?

IT'S A CRAZY DAY TODAY. GOT TO GET BACK.

AND I'M MEETING ERIN FOR LUNCH, SO I'M JUST HAVING COFFEE.

AW! THIS SUCKS, MAN.

I GOT A WHOLE SLATE OF STUFF I WANT TO TALK ABOUT.

I GOT A SONIA THING, SOME SPORTS STUFF.

I GOT LIKE A BUNCH OF QUESTIONS ABOUT MY PEE STREAM.

SORRY, BUT I GOT A CRAZY AMOUNT OF STUFF GOING ON AT WORK.

AND MELISSA'S STILL DOING PRODUCT REVIEWS

FOR THAT WEBSITE,

SO WHEN I GET HOME, I HAVE TO DEAL WITH THE KIDS.

YOU KNOW, JUST...

THAT'S WHY YOU NEED THIS.

COME ON, MAN.

HERE YOU GO.

THANKS.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE VERY WELCOME.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE HER TO MOUNT WHITNEY?

VERY FUNNY.

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

OH, MY 50th BIRTHDAY'S COMING UP.

I WANT US ALL TO HIKE MOUNT WHITNEY.

AS IF THAT'S SOME SORT OF PARTY.

HEY, IT'S GONNA BE FUN. SAVE THE DATE.

OKAY. SEE YOU. WHAT DATE?

WHAT --

AW, SEE? I'M MISSING ALL THIS.

ALL RIGHT, YOU GOT TO HANG OUT.

THIS IS BULLSHIT. RELAX.

I GOT A LITTLE TIME BEFORE I HAVE TO MEET ERIN.

SO ERIN, HUH -- SO ARE YOU STILL, UH --

I BELIEVE THE TERM YOU USED WAS "IN LOVE"?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

[ Chuckling ] YEAH, YEAH, OKAY.

I SHOULD HAVE KNOWN WHY YOU DIDN'T HIT ON

THE WAITRESS OR THE HOSTESS OR ME.

ACTUALLY, ERIN'S BEEN AT A, UH, TEACHERS' WORKSHOP,

SO I HAVEN'T SEEN HER IN A WEEK.

OKAY, GOOD, GOOD.

I'M GLAD YOU GUYS ARE STILL, UH, WHATEVER.

[ CHUCKLES ]

OH, SO -- SO, THIS SONIA THING --

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

WHAT? AW, COME ON.

NO.

WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

I GOT TO GO. OH, COME ON.

YOU GOT A LIFE NOW, TOO? YEAH.

GREAT. SORRY.

NO TIME FOR JOE-JOE, RIGHT?

YEAH.

I'M GONNA TEXT YOU THE THING ABOUT MY PEE.

UH-HUH.

HEY.

HI. Terry: HI.

HOW ARE YOU? I'M GOOD.

I'M...GOOD.

GOD, I AM SO SORRY.

I GOT A CALL FROM SOME PARENTS.

THEY WANT TO HAVE A CONFERENCE,

SO I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A REAL LUNCH.

I ORDERED ALREADY. IT'S PRETTY GOOD.

I COME HERE ALL THE TIME.

HEY.

WOW.

BOY, I DIDN'T KNOW IF YOU STILL WORKED HERE.

HOW ARE YOU?

I'M GOOD. REALLY GOOD. GREAT, GOOD.

LOOK AT YOU.

IS THAT FOR A PART OR SOMETHING?

NO, NO. I'M DONE WITH ALL THAT.

ACTUALLY, I'M WORKING FOR OWEN.

REALLY? THE -- THE CAR GUY?

YEAH. OH.

YEAH, HE SAYS HI. OH, HE DOES?

HE KNEW YOU WERE GONNA SEE ME?

[ CHUCKLES ] NO, NO.

BUT, I MEAN, HE -- HE WOULD HAVE SAID HI.

OH.

IT'S A HYPOTHETICAL HI.

AH. [ LAUGHS ]

CAN I GET A, UH, LARGE BLACK, UH, COFFEE

MM-HMM.

AND A, UH, MEDITERRANEAN PANINI?

THAT'LL JUST BE A COUPLE MINUTES.

OKAY. GREAT.

I'M ANNIE.

HI. HI.

OH, UH, SORRY. ERIN, ERIN, ANNIE.

ANNIE, ERIN.

NICE TO MEET YOU.

UM, CAN I GET YOU SOMETHING?

ACTUALLY -- OH, I THINK THAT'S MINE.

OH, SURE. THERE YOU GO.

GREAT. THANKS. ENJOY.

I GOT IT. OKAY.

IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU. YEAH.

LET ME GET THAT FOR YOU.

OH, WOW. THANKS.

JUST GO AHEAD AND, UH, START EATING.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

OLD FRIEND?

YEAH.

NOT THAT OLD. [ LAUGHS ]

ACTUALLY, SHE'S, UH -- SHE'S 58.

REALLY GOOD USING HER SUNSCREEN.

[ LAUGHS ] UH-HUH.

THAT WAS SORT OF A -- A FLING.

I UNDERSTAND.

HEY, YOU KNOW, THIS ISN'T REALLY, UM,

QUITE THE "WELCOME BACK" MEAL THAT I WAS HOPING FOR,

SO MAYBE -- MAYBE TONIGHT I COULD MAKE YOU SOME RISOTTO?

THAT'S OKAY. UH, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I'M SO BEHIND ON GRADING PAPERS AND...

OH, OKAY. I MEAN, YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOCK

YOURSELF OUT, THOUGH.

WE CAN JUST -- WE COULD GO OUT TO NORM'S.

I KNOW YOU LIKE THAT PLACE.

NO. I WANT TO COOK FOR YOU.

REALLY? YEAH.

OR IS THERE SOME OTHER YOUNG GIRL AT NORM'S

YOU DON'T WANT ME TO MEET?

[ LAUGHS ] NO, NO.

THERE IS NO YOUNG GIRL AT NORM'S.

WHAT'S THE NEW YEAR'S EVE STUFF? WHO PUT THIS HERE?

IT LOOKED LIKE REGULAR PARTY STUFF.

WELL, NO. COME ON. IT SAYS, "HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009."

YEAH, GET RID OF THIS STUFF.

OH, COME ON, MARIA. I NEED YOU GUYS.

I'M DOING THE GOLF THING.

I NEED YOU BE ON TOP OF THIS STUFF.

I KNOW. GOLF GOING GOOD, THOUGH?

[ GROANS ]

[ DOOR OPENS, BANGING ]

HEY, I THINK THAT'S YOUR, UH...

OH, YEAH.

OH. [ SIGHS ] HEY, SORRY. I --

ALBERT'S SLEEPING OVER AT WES' LATER,

AND HE FORGOT, WELL, EVERYTHING.

OH, GEEZ.

ALL RIGHT. COME ON.

YEAH. I WAS GONNA PUT IT IN THERE,

BUT THE DOOR WAS LOCKED.

REALLY? OH.

I DON'T KNOW. I TRIED IT.

I -- BUT I GUESS I DIDN'T TWIST HARD ENOUGH OR SOMETHING.

WELL, SOMETIMES IT STICKS.

YEAH. [ LAUGHS ]

OH, GOD. I'M ALL OVER THE PLACE.

PHEW!

WELL, YOU KNOW WHAT?

I SHOULD HAVE -- I SHOULD HAVE REMINDED ALBERT

ABOUT THE GUITAR THING THIS MORNING.

NO, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT. THAT'S ALBERT.

THAT'S HIS WHOLE THING NOW.

HE JUST ROAMS AROUND,

AND I'M SUPPOSED TO FOLLOW HIM LIKE A SERVANT.

[ SIGHS ]

HEY, UM, YOU -- ARE YOU OKAY?

I MEAN, UH, YOU -- YOU DOING ALL RIGHT?

'CAUSE YOU JUST -- I DON'T KNOW. YOU LOOK, UH --

YEAH. NO, I'M FINE. YEAH.

I'M JUST...

OH, STOP. ALL RIGHT, COME HERE, COME HERE.

SIT DOWN, SIT DOWN. WHAT?

NO, IT'S NOTHING.

NO, TELL ME. WHAT? WHAT? WHAT?

I SHOULDN'T GET INTO THIS WITH YOU.

COME ON. IT'S OKAY.

[ SIGHS ]

I BROKE UP WITH HAROLD.

OH, YEAH. YEAH.

ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I FOUND OUT...

HE WAS CHEATING ON ME...

...WITH A STUDENT.

[ LAUGHS ]

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S MY COMEUPPANCE, HUH?

[ LAUGHS ] HEY, COME ON.

IT'S, UM...

I GUESS NOW I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL.

STOP.

STOP IT. COME ON.

NO, I KNOW, I KNOW. JUST...

LOOK, I HAVEN'T TOLD THE KIDS YET,

SO I'D REALLY APPRECIATE IT IF YOU WOULDN'T SAY ANYTHING.

YEAH, OF COURSE. YEAH.

I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN TO...

[ BREATHES DEEPLY ]

I SHOULD GO.

WAIT. WELL, I MEAN, I'M JUST SAYING,

YOU WANT TO -- HANG OUT HERE IF YOU WANT OR --

I DON'T KNOW, SHOULD WE GET DINNER LATER OR SOMETHING?

OH, WELL, SHIT. WHAT?

NO, I FORGOT.

I'M -- I'M TAKING A -- A FRIEND TO DINNER.

OH, GOD. YOU HAVE A DATE.

NO, NO, NO. IT'S JUST A -- IT'S A FRIEND.

THAT'S ALL. I JUST -- I HAD IT.

WE PLANNED IT.

LOOK, REALLY, DON'T WORRY ABOUT ME, OKAY?

YEAH, I KNOW, I KNOW.

BUT, UH...

I'LL SEE YOU LATER, JOE.

JUST MAKE SURE TO GET THAT STUFF TO ALBERT FOR TONIGHT.

YEP. YEAH.

[ CHUCKLES ]

ALL RIGHT.

HEY.

SLOW DAY?

KEVIN SCARPULLA. Kevin: THERE HE IS.

ALL THE WAY FROM SCARPULLA CHEVROLET/NISSAN/MAZDA AND --

WHAT ELSE YOU GOT GOING DOWN THE STREET THERE?

SELLING HELICOPTERS YET?

[ CHUCKLES ] NOT YET.

HEY, CARL. WHAT'S UP?

HOW'S HE WORKING OUT FOR YOU?

'CAUSE TO BE HONEST WITH YOU,

WHEN HE WAS WITH US, HE SUCKED ASS.

JUST FINE. CHANGE OF LOCATION --

THAT'S ALL IT TAKES SOMETIMES.

BY THE WAY, MY BIG BROTHER IS STILL PISSED

THAT WE'RE DOWN 20 SALES A MONTH SINCE YOU JUMPED SHIP.

YEAH, HE'S A GOOD MAN.

[ Chuckling ] HE'S A PAIN IN THE ASS.

SO, UM, WHAT'S UP?

WELL, FOR STARTERS, I HEAR THAT CORPORATE

IS THINKING ABOUT DOWNSIZING IN THE ZIP CODE.

LET'S GO UP TO MY OFFICE.

[ TELEPHONE RINGING ]

IS THERE SOMEPLACE I CAN CHUCK THIS?

AH.

WE INSTALLED ONE OF THOSE GOURMET COFFEE BARS

IN OUR LOUNGE, AND I AM HOOKED.

SO, UH, YOU WERE SAYING ABOUT CORPORATE.

IT'S PROBABLY JUST A RUMOR.

BUT WE ARE GONNA START DOING KIAS,

AND WE'RE TOTALLY OUT OF LOT SPACE,

AND WE'RE PREPARED TO MAKE A DEAL WITH YOU

FOR THIS PLACE.

REALLY?

A GOOD DEAL.

NOW, I KNOW THAT YOUR FATHER HAS TO AGREE TO THIS,

BUT I FIGURED I'D APPROACH YOU FIRST

BECAUSE HE CAN BE A LITTLE EMOTIONAL.

BECAUSE HE HATES YOU GUYS?

[ CHUCKLES ] THAT HE DOES.

NOW, IF YOU COULD CONVINCE HIM

THAT IT WOULD BE WORTHWHILE,

THE TWO OF YOU COULD RIDE OFF INTO THE SUNSET

WITH SOME PRETTY SWEET CASH.

WE'RE NOT FOR SALE.

ACTUALLY, I THINK YOU ARE.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT YOU HAD TO SCRAP PLANS

FOR A BODY SHOP.

NOW, I DON'T KNOW WHAT'S GOING ON HERE FINANCIALLY,

BUT LET'S GET REAL.

IT CAN'T BE GOOD, RIGHT?

SO THIS IS WHAT WE'RE THINKING THOREAU IS WORTH,

AND THIS IS WHAT WE ARE PREPARED TO PAY YOU

IF WE TAKE ON YOUR CHEVY INVENTORY.

I HAVE TO GET BACK TO WORK.

THINK ABOUT IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I DON'T CARE HOW DELICIOUS THIS RISOTTO IS.

I HAVE TO LEAVE BY 8:00, ALL RIGHT?

OH, NOW, WELL, LOOK, YOU CAN'T RUSH RISOTTO,

SO HOW ABOUT 9:00?

COME ON. [ LAUGHS ]

WHOA.

OH, GOD.

WHAT IS IT? WHAT HAPPENED?

[ SIGHS ] MY LANDLORD IS A COMPLETE ASS.

HE ALWAYS DOES THIS.

HE ALWAYS DOES THIS?

NO, NO, NO. I-I MEAN, VERY RARELY.

BUT -- BUT THEN THIS IS WHAT HE ALWAYS DOES.

HEY, MARK. TERRY.

I JUST GOT BACK TO THE BUILDING, FOUND YOUR LITTLE SURPRISE.

CALL ME.

YOU SAID HE'S DONE THIS BEFORE.

WHY? WHY WOULD HE --

WELL, TECHNICALLY, I'M THE BUILDING MANAGER, RIGHT?

AND -- AND I'M SUPPOSED TO BE AROUND TO SHOW APARTMENTS.

AND HE GETS ALL UPSET, YOU KNOW, IF I'M NOT OR --

OR IF I-I DON'T DO SOME LITTLE REPAIR OR...

HIS MESSAGE SAYS HE'S IN JAMAICA FOR THE WEEKEND.

GOD, I'M SCREWED.

[ SIGHS ]

YOU KNOW...

YOU CAN STAY WITH ME.

REALLY?

OH, OF COURSE.

YOU NEED A PLACE TO STAY, RIGHT,

FOR TONIGHT --

OR, YOU KNOW, HOWEVER... UH...

SO, MOM'S, UH, GONNA PICK YOU UP TOMORROW, RIGHT?

IF SHE DOESN'T FORGET.

HEY, YOU GOT TO TAKE IT EASY ON MOM, ALL RIGHT?

SHE'S GOING THROUGH A ROUGH TIME.

I KNOW. THE CHANGE.

YEAH.

SO, WHAT THE HECK IS THIS ALL ABOUT?

ALL-NIGHT BAND PRACTICE?

WES' MOM SAID IT'S OKAY,

SO IT'S GONNA BE REALLY COOL, YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

SO, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT AM I DOING?

UH, TONIGHT, UM,

I'M GOING TO DINNER WITH A FRIEND OF MINE.

AND THEN, UH, I GOT TO HIT

THE PRACTICE RANGE TOMORROW MORNING,

SO, UM -- SO I GOT TO GET TO BED EARLY.

SO I GOT TO GET TO BED EARLY.

WOW.

MY LAST NIGHT BEFORE CHEMO, RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE,

YOU GOT TO LAY DOWN SOME PUSSY RULES.

NO. I MEAN, WE'RE GONNA HANG OUT.

I JUST -- I GOT THE GOLF, MAN.

I TELL YOU, I'VE BEEN PLAYING SHITTY, SO...

EXCUSE ME. CAN YOU STAY OUT LATE?

MY FRIEND HERE HAS A CURFEW.

NO. SORRY.

ALL RIGHT. NO BIG DEAL.

GOT THE LUCKY SHIRT ON. JUST A MATTER OF TIME.

THAT'S, UH -- THAT'S THE LUCKY SHIRT, HUH?

OH, YEAH. HAD TO BREAK IT OUT.

ALL RIGHT. SO, WHEN'S OUR TABLE GONNA BE READY?

I WANT MY LAST MEAL.

OH, COME ON, MAN.

I'M GONNA BE DOING A LOT OF JOKES LIKE THAT,

SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL GET USED TO IT.

TOMORROW, I START A LONG, SHITTY TIME,

SO TONIGHT I DON'T CARE WHAT I SAY OR DO OR EAT.

SO DON'T BE A JZIMMA JZEETZ AND SPOIL MY FUN.

A WHAT?

JZIMMA JZEETZ.

IT MEANS DOUCHE BAG OR MORON, IDIOT --

ANYTHING FROM THE DOUCHE BAG FAMILY.

IT'S ITALIAN. I MADE IT UP A LONG TIME AGO.

WELL, OKAY, IF YOU MADE IT UP,

HOW DOES IT MEAN ANYTHING REALLY, RIGHT?

I SAW A GUY ONCE. HE WAS BEING A DOUCHE BAG.

SO I CALLED HIM THAT.

THAT'S HOW WORDS GET MADE, JOE.

ALL RIGHT, I GUESS.

OH, MAN, I-I SAW MY EX TODAY.

SHE BROKE UP WITH THAT GUY THAT SHE KIND OF LEFT ME FOR.

OH, THAT WAS WEIRD.

I COULDN'T TELL IF SHE WAS KIND OF WISHING WE STARTED BACK UP

OR, I DON'T KNOW, HOOKED UP.

THAT WOULDN'T BE COOL, THOUGH.

THAT WOULD BE LIKE A REBOUND THING AND -- SHIT, I DON'T KNOW.

THE WHOLE THING JUST CONFUSED ME.

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR THIS SHIT

ON MY LAST NIGHT WITH HAIR.

[ CHUCKLES ]

ALL RIGHT. YEAH, SORRY.

I HAVE THESE OTHER GUYS I USUALLY TELL THIS STUFF TO.

I JUST -- I'M THINKING ABOUT IT.

I DON'T KNOW. I JUST DON'T KNOW.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I'M SHUTTING YOU UP, AND I'M GETTING YOU LAID.

LET'S SEE. SONIA, SONIA.

NO, NO, NO,

ALL RIGHT. HERE IT IS. OH, SHE'S STILL

IN YOUR FAVORITES.

THAT'S INTERESTING. OKAY, OKAY.

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ] TELL HER THAT YOU'VE REALLY

BEEN THINKING ABOUT HER.

ALL RIGHT, RELAX, HUH?

ALL RIGHT, FINE.

I TRIED. YEAH, YOU TRIED.

WHAT'S GOOD HERE? ARE THE STEAKS GOOD?

BE RIGHT BACK.

THAT'S WHY WE'RE EATIN' HERE? YOU'RE MAKING A COLLECTION?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? STOP BITCHING, JOE.

THIS WORKED OUT GREAT FOR YOU.

BILL'S PICKING UP THE WHOLE TAB.

THE FUNNY PART IS, I THINK HE'S BEING SO NICE

BECAUSE HE THINKS YOU'RE MY MUSCLE.

[ CHUCKLES ] WHAT? NO.

IT'S FREAKING HILARIOUS.

WHY IS IT HILARIOUS?

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

SMELLS FISHY IN HERE.

SHOOT, I WAS ALL SET TO GIVE EVERYBODY HOT DOGS,

BUT YOUR FATHER SHOWED UP WITH MACKEREL.

OF COURSE THE BOYS HAD TO HAVE IT.

OH, OF COURSE.

OKAY, LOOK, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE MESS,

BUT I GOT TO GO WORK, SO CAN YOU...

YEAH, I GOT IT.

JAMIE, HIT THE SHOWER.

OH, AND I THINK HANA'S STILL HUNGRY.

OKAY.

OKAY, 40 SHORT-ANSWER TESTS TO GRADE.

NEXT TIME, MULTIPLE CHOICE.

[ CHUCKLES ] SMELLS GOOD.

I'M GONNA FINISH THAT OFF WITH SOME PARSLEY

RIGHT BEFORE WE EAT. NOW, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME,

I MUST UNPACK.

AH.

OH, MY GOD. HOW DO YOU MAKE THIS?

I CAN'T EVEN BOIL WATER.

THE SECRET IS TO BECOME AN ACTOR AND THEN NEVER GET WORK.

[ CHUCKLES ] AH, YES.

YEP, AND THEN, UH, YOU KNOW,

YOU GOT TO LET THAT SIMMER FOR ABOUT 30 YEARS.

AND THAT GIVES YOU TIME TO, YOU KNOW,

DEVELOP ALL SORTS OF HOBBIES, LIKE COOKING.

UNEMPLOYMENT IS THE KEY.

YEP, BUT YOU GOT TO STICK TO IT.

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

OH.

OH.

TED CAME OUT.

HE USUALLY HIDES FROM STRANGERS.

HI, TEDDY.

AWW. I THINK YOU MADE A NEW FRIEND.

YOU GOT TO WRITE UP ALL THIS STUFF TONIGHT, HUH?

YUP.

AWW, THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

[ GRUNTS ]

HEY, THE FUNNIEST THING HAPPENED TODAY --

UM, SCARPULLA'S DICKHEAD BROTHER CAME BY

AND SAID HE WANTS TO BUY US OUT.

UH, YEAH. HERE'S THE, UM --

HERE'S THE OFFER.

WOW.

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

I SAID NO, OF COURSE.

WELL, IT'S NOT LIKE YOUR DAD WOULD EVER GO FOR IT.

NO. OF COURSE NOT.

[ CHUCKLES ] OKAY, DO ME A FAVOR.

WILL YOU HOLD ON TO THAT? I HAVE TO REVIEW THESE.

OKAY. LET ME SEE.

[ Echoing ] TEST ONE, TWO.

AND EVEN WITH THE HOLE MY DAD HAS LEFT US IN,

YOU KNOW, THE BUSINESS IS WORTH SOMETHING.

I GUESS SO. OKAY, TALK INTO THE WALKIE-TALKIE.

[ Echoing ] LISTEN -- I HAVE TO CONFESS --

I THOUGHT AT ONE POINT ABOUT HOW GREAT IT WOULD BE

TO JUST SELL EVERYTHING AND GET OUT FROM UNDER IT.

COULD YOU WALK AWAY?

I COULD, BUT THE OFFER WAS SO LOW.

NO. WALK AWAY SO I CAN SEE HOW THESE THINGS WORK.

OH.

WELL, SCARPULLA'S A SNAKE.

HE'S BEEN SPYING ON US.

PLUS, YOU'RE RIGHT -- MY DAD WOULD NEVER SELL TO HIM,

NOT IN A MILLION YEARS.

I'M GOING TO SLEEP. OVER.

NOT "SLEEPOVER."

"SLEEP, OVER," AND OUT.

MELISSA: Copy that.

Joe: AW, MAN. YOU KNOW MY COACH --

HE HAS ME EATING ALL THIS HEALTHY SHIT.

THIS IS HITTING THE SPOT.

YEAH, SOMETIMES YOU JUST GOT TO SAY, "TO HELL WITH IT,"

AND ENJOY LIFE. LIVE FOR NOW.

YEAH.

OOH, AHH.

YEAH, YOU KNOW, IT'S FUNNY.

MY KID IS STAYING AT HIS FRIEND'S HOUSE ALL NIGHT,

DOING BAND PRACTICE.

REMEMBER THAT? REMEMBER BEING THAT YOUNG?

NO RESPONSIBILITY -- JUST STAY UP ALL NIGHT,

NOT GIVE A SHIT ABOUT WHAT'S HAPPENING THE NEXT DAY?

I'D LIKE TO DO MORE THAN JUST REMEMBER IT, JOE.

IT'S THE SHIRT, JOE.

THE SHIRT IS MAGIC.

PLUS, WE'RE PAYING THEM.

WELL, WE ALL PAY IN THE LONG RUN, RIGHT?

GUESS SO, YEAH.

IS SOMETHING WRONG?

OH, NO, NO. I'M SORRY.

JUST, UH, I'M NOT REALLY USED TO THIS.

OH. YOU JUST RELAX.

ARE YOU MARRIED? IS THAT IT?

'CAUSE HALF THE GUYS IN HERE ARE,

SO IF THAT'S WHAT'S BUMMING YOU OUT...

YEAH, NO. NO, NO, I'M DIVORCED, ACTUALLY.

STILL FRIENDS, AND IT'S ALL COOL, YOU KNOW?

YEAH.

I SAW HER TODAY, ACTUALLY. MM.

THAT'S NICE.

IT WAS WEIRD.

SHE TOLD ME SHE BROKE UP WITH HER BOYFRIEND.

YOU KNOW, I COULDN'T TELL --

I GOT TO GO DANCE ON THE STAGE.

OH.

IT WAS NICE MEETING YOU. THANK YOU. YEAH.

OH, UH, VERY GOOD.

HEY, CARLY, HOW ABOUT WE GO AGAIN?

SURE. THAT'S 50 BUCKS.

I WAS HOPING YOU'D GIVE ME A MEDICAL DISCOUNT.

I HAVE CANCER.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I'M SURE.

NO, I DO. TELL HER, JOE.

HE DOES.

REALLY? WHAT KIND?

COLON, AND I'VE HEARD ALL THE ASS JOKES,

SO DON'T EVEN BOTHER.

TOMORROW I START CHEMO,

SO WHO KNOWS WHEN I'M GONNA GET THIS CHANCE AGAIN?

WELL, YOU'RE RIGHT. COLON CANCER ISN'T FUNNY.

MY DAD HAS IT.

WHO'S YOUR DOCTOR?

THIS GUY WEINMAN AT MEMORIAL.

THAT'S MY DAD'S DOCTOR.

YOU'RE KIDDING. SMALL WORLD.

WHAT STAGE ARE YOU?

2, BUT I HAD THE SURGERY ALREADY,

AND THE GUY THINKS I'M PRETTY GOOD,

AND WITH THE CHEMO, EVEN BETTER.

MY DAD'S STAGE 3.

HIS SURGERY WENT REALLY WELL, TOO,

BUT HIS CHEMO WAS ROUGH.

HE HAD EVERYTHING -- HAIR LOSS, NAUSEA, WEIGHT LOSS.

YEAH, I'M PROBABLY GONNA HAVE ALL THAT SHIT, TOO.

THIS ONE'S HALF-PRICE.

THANKS.

HEY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE GOING TO BED.

COULDN'T SLEEP.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS, CAMERA HUMS ]

HEY.

IT IS SO CUTE.

I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT THIS SCARPULLA THING.

OOH.

SHOW ME YOUR THINKING FACE.

[ CAMERA SHUTTER CLICKS ]

SO, HERE'S THE THING -- YOU KNOW WHAT?

IF YOU REALLY CAN'T GO TO SLEEP,

THEN YOU HAVE TO HELP ME WITH SOME OF THIS STUFF.

SURE, DEALING WITH THE SERVICE GUYS IS A PAIN IN THE ASS,

BUT THE TRUTH IS I LIKE GOING IN EVERY DAY.

[ GRUNTS ] IT'S A LOUSY OFFER.

[ GRUNTS ]

OH, HE THINKS HE'S SUCH HOT SHIT, WITH HIS GOURMET COFFEE.

[ WHIRRING ]

WOW.

THE TRUTH IS, MY DAD WOULD RATHER BE FISHING.

WOULDN'T IT BE WILD IF I JUST WENT AHEAD

AND MADE THE DEAL AND SPRUNG IT ON MY DAD?

OWEN, GO TO BED.

WHAT?

GO TO BED!

HEY.

[ GASPS ]

[ SIGHS, CHUCKLES ]

SO, I'VE FORMULATED MY SCARPULLA STRATEGY.

OWEN, WHY ARE YOU STILL UP?

AND WHY ARE YOU DRINKING?

LISTEN, THAT OFFER HE GAVE TO US

WAS LOW-BALL BULLSHIT, JUST TO SEE IF WE'D BITE.

I'M SURE THERE'S MORE MONEY, ALL RIGHT?

I-I'VE WORKED FOR THOSE GUYS.

I'VE SEEN THEM NEGOTIATE.

OWEN, HOW MUCH HAVE YOU HAD TO DRINK?

NOT MUCH.

YOU KNOW, I JUST REALIZED SOMETHING --

MY DAD HAS TO SELL THE STORE NOW.

HE CAN'T RUN IT WITHOUT ME.

I MEAN, NOT UNLESS HE'S GONNA COME IN

AND BUST HIS ASS EVERY DAY, AND THAT ISN'T GONNA HAPPEN.

BUT YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK THAT THIS IS SOMETHING

THAT WE CAN TALK ABOUT TOMORROW MORNING, OKAY?

OKAY, UH -- OKAY. OKAY.

THAT'S, UH, FINE, JUST, UH -- WELL, FINE.

ALTHOUGH YOU SHOULD BE THRILLED.

THIS COULD BE GREAT FOR YOU.

SEE, I'LL BE AVAILABLE

BECAUSE I WON'T BE TIED DOWN AT THE DEALERSHIP,

AND YOU CAN PURSUE ALL OF YOUR WRITING DREAMS.

WHOA, WHOA, H-HOLD UP.

YES?

WHAT, YOU'RE SAYING THAT IF -- IF --

IF YOU'RE NOT WORKING THERE,

YOU'LL BE HERE TO TAKE CARE OF THE KIDS WHILE I'M WORKING?

DAMN RIGHT I AM!

YOU SELL THAT SHIT, BIG MAN.

[ LAUGHS ]

YEAH. YEAH!

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING! OOH, WE'RE GONNA TOAST YOU.

OH, YES, HONEY. WE'RE GONNA TOAST YOU.

COME HERE. COME HERE. COME HERE.

HERE IS TO YOU, OWEN THOREAU.

AND TO YOU, MY 'LISSA.

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

OOH.

I WILL BE HERE AS LONG AS IT TAKES

TO GET YOUR CAREER ON TRACK.

WELL, IT SHOULDN'T TAKE SO LONG, I MEAN, BECAUSE

WRITING THESE REVIEWS

HAS SHOWN ME I STILL GOT MY CHOPS.

SO NOW I'M THINKING, YOU KNOW, IT MIGHT EVEN BE IN JOURNALISM

OR EVEN, YOU KNOW, FICTION OR NONFICTION.

ANY OF THOSE. YOU'RE A GREAT WRITER.

THE CHANCE TO EXPLORE A DIFFERENT OUTLET.

THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT, YEAH.

MAYBE SOMETHING IN MUSIC DISTRIBUTION.

YOU REALLY WON'T EVEN BE HAVING TO SPEND THAT MUCH TIME

WITH THE KIDS, YOU KNOW, BECAUSE THE BOYS WILL BE IN SCHOOL.

WE CAN SEND HANA TO MONTESSORI IN A YEAR AND A HALF.

MONTESSORI IS AWESOME, BUT EVEN BEFORE THAT,

WE'RE GONNA MAKE OUT GREAT ON THIS SALE,

SO WE'LL HAVE MONEY FOR A NANNY

IF I HAVE TO, YOU KNOW, TAKE MEETINGS AND STUFF.

OH, IT'LL BE GREAT!

LET'S DO IT.

OH.

[ BOTH GRUNT ]

[ BOTH SMOOCHING ]

[ BOTH LAUGH ]

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ON TELEVISION ]

[ GASPS ]

[ Sighing ] OH.

GOOD NIGHT.

SWEET DREAMS.

[ SIGHS ]

NIGHT.

[ SIGHS ]

[ SIGHS ]

I WASN'T...SURE THIS WAS GONNA HAPPEN.

NEITHER WAS I.

MM.

MM.

ALL RIGHT, JOE. THANKS FOR COMING OUT.

YEAH. APPRECIATE IT.

OH, AND, HEY.

DON'T EVER DOUBT ME OR THE SHIRT.

WHAT? WHAT'S THAT?

CARLY'S NUMBER.

WHO? MY LAP DANCER.

SHE GAVE YOU HER NUMBER?

YEAH, WHEN YOU WERE IN THE MEN'S ROOM TALKING YOUR BONER DOWN.

[ SCOFFS ] ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU KNOW HOW THIS WORKS, RIGHT?

THAT'S...THAT'S NOT HER NUMBER.

IT'S PROBABLY NOT EVEN HER NAME, MAN.

THEY JUST -- THEY PRETEND THEY'RE INTO YOU

SO THEY GET MORE MONEY.

THIS AIN'T THAT, JOE.

WE MADE A CONNECTION.

[ CHUCKLES ]

ALL RIGHT. OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. UM...

SO, TOMORROW... THE CHEMO...

YOU -- YOU NEED ME TO DRIVE YOU, ANYTHING?

NAH. I AIN'T GOING.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU KNOW, MY CHANCES ARE DECENT WITHOUT IT,

SO, UH, I'M GONNA NEED MY HAIR AND EYEBROWS

RIGHT NOW TO CLOSE THIS DEAL.

LOOK... [ CHUCKLES ]

LOOK, MAN.

ARE YOU SCARED? IS THAT IT?

YOU THINK THIS SCARES ME, JOE?

COME ON. I GREW UP IN THE BRONX.

BIGFOOT IS THE ONLY THING THAT SCARES ME.

HEY -- [ SIGHS ]

HEY, IF YOU'RE SCARED, THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

JUST BRING YOUR LUCKY SHIRT WITH YOU, MAN.

THAT'S -- EVERYTHING'S COOL.

YOU GOT TO GET THE CHEMO, RIGHT,

OR YOU'RE -- YOU'RE GONNA BE A JACKA JEETZ.

I'M NOT SCARED, JOE.

IT'S JUST TONIGHT MADE ME THINK ABOUT THINGS

FROM A DIFFERENT ANGLE, THAT'S ALL.

I'M GOOD.

I'LL SEE YOU DOWN THE ROAD, WEIRDO.

HEY, WE'LL DOUBLE DATE.

[ SIGHS ]

OH, AND, HEY, JOE. IT'S JZIMMA JZEETZ, OKAY?

COME ON. YOU'RE ITALIAN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ CELLPHONE RINGING ]

HELLO?

SONIA: Hey, it's Sonia.

OH, UH, HEY.

Did you call me before? I saw your number on my phone.

OH, UH, YEAH, YEAH.

THAT WAS AN ACCIDENT SORT OF, UM,

BUT IT'S ALL OKAY NOW. Oh.

YEAH. Okay.

BY THE WAY, I, UH --

I GOT ALL THAT STUFF OVER TO ALBERT, AND, UM...

You want to come over?

OH, UM...

You don't have to. Just if you want to.

NO, NO, NO. UH, YEAH.

UM, I'M JUST DRIVING HOME FROM DINNER.

UH, LIKE IN ABOUT 20 -- 10 MINUTES.

Okay.

See you then.

YEAH.

[ BEEP ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ SIGHS ]

[ ERIN CRYING IN DISTANCE ]

[ CRYING CONTINUES ]

HEY.

YOU OKAY?

[ Crying ] THIS WAS A HUGE MISTAKE.

WHY?

IT ISN'T YOUR FAULT.

JUST...[ SIGHS ]

IT'S RANDY.

[ SNIFFLES ]

OH, OH, WOW.

UM, OKAY.

AND WE HAD -- WE HAD JUST --

WE HAD BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH,

AND THEN WHEN WE TOOK A BREAK, I-I THOUGHT, "OKAY, WE'RE DONE,"

AND -- AND I MET UP WITH YOU,

AND [CHUCKLES] YOU KNOW, YOU'RE SO FUN.

YOU KNOW, I JUST -- I JUST FEEL AWFUL

BECAUSE I'VE BEEN WORKING WITH HIM, AND I...

I SEE WHAT WE HAD, AND I...

BUT THEN I'D STARTED THIS FLING WITH YOU, AND...

[ SOBS ]

OH, GOD. I'M A HORRIBLE PERSON.

NO, NO. YOU'RE -- YOU'RE NOT.

UH...

AND THEN I GOT UP TO GO TO THE BATHROOM,

AND I SAW OUR TOOTHBRUSHES THERE, AND IT HIT ME, YOU KNOW.

I'M 46.

I CAN'T JUST THROW IT ALL AWAY ON A FLING.

[ SIGHS ]

I WASN'T THINKING OF THIS AS A -- AS A FLING.

[ SOBS ]

NO, I MEAN [SIGHS] I KNOW -- I KNOW YOU WEREN'T.

[ SIGHS ]

SO, OKAY, WHY DON'T WE, UM...

WHY DON'T YOU JUST COME BACK TO BED --

NO, I --

I'M SORRY. I-I HAVE TO DO THIS.

YOU SHOULD PROBABLY STAY ON THE COUCH.

I'LL GET YOU SOME SHEETS.

[ CRYING ]

[ SIGHS ]

OH, I SWEAR, JOE.

I'VE BEEN ACTING LIKE A CRAZY PERSON.

I SPENT THREE HOURS THIS AFTERNOON

SCOURING HAROLD'S FACEBOOK PAGE.

HE'S GOT A FACEBOOK PAGE? [ SCOFFS ]

[ Chuckling ] I MEAN, WHAT DID I THINK I'D FIND?

HEY, NEVER KNOW.

THESE KIDS, THEY DON'T HAVE THE DECENCY

TO SNEAK AROUND LIKE WE DID.

LIKE I DID, YOU MEAN.

NO, THAT WAS A GENERATIONAL "WE."

I SWEAR.

I WAS JUST -- I WAS OLD-MANNING IT --

YOU KNOW, "EH, THE KIDS NOWADAYS."

[ BOTH CHUCKLE ]

NO, COME ON.

WE DON'T GOT TO BRING ANY OF THAT STUFF UP.

IT'S...

IT'S ALL OVER AND DONE WITH.

YOU KNOW,

YOU'RE PROBABLY THE SWEETEST GUY I'VE EVER MET.

NO. NO WAY.

YEAH. NO.

I'M -- I'M TOP 20. I'LL GIVE YOU THAT.

I MEAN IT.

YOU KNOW, HAROLD THINKS HE'S SO SMART.

YOU'VE GOT HEART, JOE.

THANKS FOR COMING.

YEAH, I WANTED TO.

YOU'VE GOT GLITTER ON YOUR CHEEK.

I KNOW.

PARTY-STORE THINGS.

HMM. [ CHUCKLES ]

WHERE ARE THE KIDS?

BOTH GONE. OH, OKAY, THEN.

[ CHUCKLES ] OKAY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SHOULD I TURN THE LIGHTS OFF?

NO. WHY? WELL, YOU...

NEVER MIND.

NO, I'LL TURN THEM OFF. YEAH, TURN THEM OFF.

OH.

HMM. WAIT A SECOND.

YEAH. ME TOO.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SOMETHING FEELS A LITTLE...

A LITTLE WEIRD, RIGHT?

YEAH.

GOSH.

HOW COME? [ CHUCKLES ]

I DON'T KNOW. I FEEL LIKE A CREEPY HOME-WRECKER.

HOW SICK IS THAT?

[ Chuckling ] OH, WOW. [ SIGHS ]

ALL RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA STOP.

RIGHT?

YEAH.

[ SIGHS ]

I'M SORRY, JOE.

NO -- WHAT, SORRY?

LOOK...

LOOK, THIS WOULD BE GREAT...

BUT...

YOU KNOW, WE SHOULDN'T DO IT.

[ SIGHS ]

I'M SORRY ABOUT HAROLD.

[ SIGHS ]

LOOK, WHATEVER YOU DO, DEAL WITH IT.

YOU KNOW, DON'T SHOVE IT DOWN

'CAUSE THAT'S -- IT'S GONNA MAKE YOU OLD.

YOU KNOW?

IT'S NOT GOOD.

[ SNIFFLES ]

COME ON. [ CHUCKLES ]

THAT'S SOME TOP-20 SWEET-GUY SHIT RIGHT THERE.

I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

Albert: THANKS, MRS. JERGENSON!

I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE WAS AWAY.

Y-YEAH, I DID. I MEAN, I...

OH, MY GOD, HE -- ALBERT CAN'T SEE US LIKE THIS.

THIS WILL TOTALLY SCREW HIM UP.

OH, ALL RIGHT.

YOU JUST, UM, BLOCK HIM, BLOCK HIM. I'LL

GO OUT THE BACK.

HEY, I'M PICKING HIM UP TUESDAY, THURSDAY, FRIDAY, RIGHT?

I'LL TEXT YOU. JUST GO, GO!

HURRY!

GO!

ALBERT, WHAT HAPPENED? I THOUGHT YOU WERE --

OH, WES GOT A STOMACH BUG. I TRIED TO CALL.

HE WAS THROWING UP ALL OVER THE PLACE.

[ TRASH CANS CLATTER ]

WHAT WAS -- WHAT WAS THAT?

POSSUMS.

STUPID, F'ing POSSUMS.

I WANT TO JUST...KILL THEM WITH MY BARE HANDS.

MOM, GEEZ. CALM DOWN.

[ SIGHS ]

EVERYTHING'S GONNA BE OKAY.

THANKS, HONEY.

[ MELISSA SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY ]

[ OBJECT RATTLES ]

THAT WAS SOME NIGHT, HUH?

[ CHUCKLES ]

REALLY, REALLY WAS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

GOT A LITTLE CRAZY THERE.

UH, DADDY, I NEED TO, UM, TALK TO YOU ABOUT SOMETHING.

OKAY, WELL, LET'S MAKE IT QUICK.

BRUCE AND I ARE HEADING FOR THE BOAT SHOW.

[ SIGHS ]

OKAY, UM, I'VE BEEN THINKING

ABOUT, UM, WHAT WE'RE DOING HERE,

AND I'VE DECIDED THAT, UH,

WE NEED TO HAVE THE BODY SHOP LIKE I WANTED TO.

BUT HOW'S THAT GONNA WORK?

I MEAN, IF YOU THINK WE CAN PAY FOR IT

BY CUTTING INVENTORY, YOU'RE WRONG.

I HAVEN'T FIGURED OUT ALL THE DETAILS EXACTLY.

BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO FIGURE OUT.

DADDY, WE'RE DOING THIS, OKAY?

I DON'T KNOW HOW, BUT WE ARE.

THIS PLACE NEEDS A BODY SHOP, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BODY SHOP,

AND YOU SHOULD GET THAT THROUGH YOUR HEAD.

WE'RE DOING IT.

I'LL BE AT THE BOAT SHOW.

AHH.

[ SIGHS ]

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

[ GRUNTS ]

♪ TONIGHT YOU'RE MINE COMPLETELY ♪

♪ YOU GIVE YOUR LOVE SO SWEETLY ♪

♪ TONIGHT THE LIGHT OF LOVE IS IN YOUR EYES ♪

"FONDLY."

♪ BUT WILL YOU LOVE ME TOMORROW? ♪

♪ IS THIS A LASTING TREASURE? ♪

WHAT'S UP, JIMINY CRICKET?

HEY.

WHERE'S THE OTHER ONE?

UH, HE CALLED AND SAID HE'S RUNNING LATE.

I GUESS HE WAS UP HALF THE NIGHT.

OH, YEAH. THAT MAKES TWO OF US.

MAKES THREE OF US.

YEAH, BUT YOU DID IT FOR THE RIGHT REASON, RIGHT?

YEAH.

YEAH, I GOT, UH, UH --

ACTUALLY HAD A LITTLE THING GOING ON LAST NIGHT.

MICHELLE BACK IN TOWN?

NO, NO. NOT MICHELLE.

SOMEBODY NEW?

KIND OF, YEAH.

OKAY, LAST NIGHT I'M DRIVING HOME.

IT'S LATE, RIGHT? AND SONIA CALLS ME.

SONIA? NO, JOE.

YEAH, NO, NO. NOTHING HAPPENED.

I MEAN -- I MEAN, A LOT HAPPENED.

ALL GOOD, THOUGH.

UH, LET ME BACK UP, LET ME BACK UP.

YESTERDAY SONIA COMES IN THE STORE

AND TELLS ME THAT HAROLD BROKE UP WITH HER.

WHOA. YEAH. RIGHT.

HEY. SORRY.

HEY.

WHOO! WHAT'S UP?

WELL, JOE'S TELLING A STORY.

Joe: OH, LET ME BACK UP A LITTLE MORE.

YESTERDAY MORNING I'M DRIVING THE KIDS TO SCHOOL,

AND LUCY TELLS ME THAT SHE THINKS

THAT SONIA IS GOING THROUGH THE CHANGE.

♪ YOU SAY THAT I'M THE ONLY ONE ♪

♪ BUT WILL MY HEART BE BROKEN ♪

♪ WHEN THE NIGHT ♪

♪ WHEN THE NIGHT ♪

♪ MEETS THE MORNING SUN? ♪