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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,000 [ EXHALES ] 2 00:00:32,000 --> 00:00:34,000 [ SMOOCHING ] 3 00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:36,000 GOOD MORNING. 4 00:00:36,000 --> 00:00:38,000 MM-HMM. 5 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:40,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 6 00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000 UNH-UNH. 7 00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:45,000 WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO START THIS MORNING? 8 00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,000 JUST ADMIRING. 9 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:47,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 10 00:00:47,000 --> 00:00:50,000 AH. 11 00:00:50,000 --> 00:00:52,000 I'M NOT OPPOSED TO GETTING SOMETHING STARTED. 12 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,000 OH, I SEE. YOU THINK YOU CAN HANDLE ME FIRST 13 00:00:52,000 --> 00:00:55,000 THING IN THE MORNING? 14 00:00:55,000 --> 00:00:56,000 DAMN RIGHT. [ DOOR OPENS ] 15 00:00:56,000 --> 00:00:57,000 MOM, GRANDPA'S ON TV! MOM, GRANDPA'S ON TV! 16 00:00:57,000 --> 00:01:00,000 YOU GOT TO KNOCK! COME ON, GUYS! OHH! 17 00:01:00,000 --> 00:01:03,000 IT'S THE THOREAU SPRING SALES EVENT. 18 00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000 Senior: BUT APRIL SHOWERS... 19 00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,000 [ THUNDER CRASHES ] 20 00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:09,000 BRING MAY SAVINGS! 21 00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:11,000 WE GOT EQUINOXES... TRAVERSES... 22 00:01:11,000 --> 00:01:13,000 WE GOT MALIBUS... 23 00:01:13,000 --> 00:01:15,000 CAMAROS. MAY THE BEST CAR WIN! 24 00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:18,000 AND ONE THING YOU CAN COUNT ON HERE AT THOREAU CHEVROLET. 25 00:01:18,000 --> 00:01:19,000 IN TODAY'S ECONOMY, 26 00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,000 YOUR FAMILY IS GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES. 27 00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:22,000 AND OUR FAMILY... 28 00:01:23,000 --> 00:01:24,000 IS HERE TO HELP. 29 00:01:24,000 --> 00:01:26,000 Announcer: THOREAU CHEVROLET IN ENCINO. 30 00:01:26,000 --> 00:01:30,000 ALL-STAR CARS FOR ALL-STAR CUSTOMERS. 31 00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:04,000 MY FATHER RUINED SOME PERFECTLY GOOD SEX THIS MORNING. 32 00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,000 WELL, MY FIRST QUESTION IS, 33 00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:07,000 WHY WAS HE THERE IN THE FIRST PLACE? 34 00:02:07,000 --> 00:02:10,000 NO, OUR -- OUR NEW COMMERCIAL WAS ON. 35 00:02:10,000 --> 00:02:12,000 AND, UM, AT THE END OF IT, HE SAYS SOME SHIT ABOUT FAMILY 36 00:02:12,000 --> 00:02:14,000 AND THEN THROWS HIS ARM AROUND MARCUS. 37 00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000 AND NOW MELISSA'S GOING ON ABOUT 38 00:02:16,000 --> 00:02:18,000 HOW HE'S TRYING TO MAKE EVERYBODY THINK THAT'S HIS SON. 39 00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:21,000 TELEVISION IN THE BEDROOM IS ALWAYS A BAD IDEA. 40 00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000 NOT REALLY THE POINT. 41 00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:25,000 DO YOU THINK THAT'S WHAT YOUR DAD'S DOING? 42 00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,000 NO. 43 00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,000 I DON'T KNOW. 44 00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:29,000 WELL, YOU GOT TO GET IT STRAIGHTENED OUT. 45 00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,000 MARCUS -- GOOD-LOOKING GUY. 46 00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:33,000 YOU DON'T WANT PEOPLE TO MEET YOU AND GO, 47 00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:35,000 "WOW, WHAT HAPPENED?" 48 00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,000 [ LAUGHS ] 49 00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:38,000 "WHERE DID YOU -- WOW." 50 00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:40,000 [ LAUGHS ] 51 00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:43,000 ACTUALLY GONNA GO SEE MY DAD THIS WEEKEND. 52 00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,000 OH, YEAH? HOW'S ARTIE DOING? 53 00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:46,000 GOOD. YOU KNOW, THE ANGIO THING WENT GOOD. 54 00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:49,000 BACK TO NORMAL. DOCTOR SAID FULLY RECOVERED. 55 00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:51,000 GLAD TO HEAR. THAT'S GREAT. 56 00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,000 HOW'S HE LIKE IT UP THERE? 57 00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:54,000 YEAH, IT'S GOOD THERE. 58 00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:56,000 YEAH, THEY GOT THE WALKING TRAILS AND THE GOLF COURSES. 59 00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:59,000 THEY GOT A TOWN SQUARE WITH A GAZEBO AND ALL THAT SHIT. 60 00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:01,000 SO A LOT OF OLD PEOPLE. 61 00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:03,000 PLAY A LOT OF BOCCIE UP THERE, DO THEY? 62 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,000 YEAH, NO, I THINK HE LIKES IT. 63 00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,000 IT'S HARD TO TELL WITH HIM. YOU KNOW HIM. 64 00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,000 HE'S NOT A BIG TALKER OR -- OR HUGGER 65 00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,000 OR SMILER. 66 00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:13,000 I WISH MY DAD WERE UPSTATE SOMEWHERE BOCCIE BALLING. 67 00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000 SO, UM, I KNOW I'M GONNA TAKE SHIT FOR THIS, 68 00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:21,000 BUT SINCE WE'RE ON THE SUBJECT, I MIGHT AS WELL TELL YOU. 69 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,000 I'M GONNA BE A BIG BROTHER. 70 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,000 WHA-- YOU MEAN -- YOU MEAN FATHER? 71 00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000 'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT WE WERE TALKING ABOUT -- FATHERS. 72 00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,000 SO I GUESS YOU GOT SOMEBODY PREGNANT? 73 00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,000 THAT'S WHAT I'M THINKING. 74 00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000 [ CHUCKLES ] I'M TALKING ABOUT BIG BROTHER 75 00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:37,000 AS IN THE BIG BROTHERS ORGANIZATION. 76 00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000 I APPLIED AND INTERVIEWED, 77 00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,000 AND I SHOULD BE MEETING MY LITTLE BROTHER SOMETIME 78 00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,000 THIS WEEK. 79 00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:46,000 REALLY? THAT'S, UM... 80 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:48,000 WOW. THAT'S COOL. 81 00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:50,000 REAL COOL. 82 00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,000 WHY? 83 00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:54,000 YEAH, ISN'T THAT LIKE A BIG COMMITMENT FOR YOU? 84 00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:56,000 TWO DAYS A WEEK, ONE HOUR A DAY? 85 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,000 HERE WE GO. YEAH, GIVE HIM SOME SLACK, MAN. 86 00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:59,000 HE'S GONNA BE GOOD. 87 00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,000 YOU'LL BE GOOD. YOU'LL BE A GREAT BIG BROTHER. 88 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,000 MAYBE YOU SHOULD START SLOW, THOUGH, 89 00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,000 LIKE A VENTRILOQUIST'S DUMMY? 90 00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,000 RIGHT. OKAY. 91 00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,000 NO, THIS IS A KID 92 00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:09,000 WHO GOES FROM THE DANGER OF DRUG-INFESTED STREETS 93 00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,000 TO A SAFE, MARIJUANA-FILLED HOME. 94 00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000 RIGHT. YEAH, PLUS MOST KIDS GOT TO BUY A PLAYBOY 95 00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,000 TO SEE A NAKED WOMAN. 96 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000 NOT YOUR GUY. 97 00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:18,000 WELL, IF THE KID'S MOTHER IS STILL ON THE SCENE, 98 00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,000 YOU'RE NOT SUPPOSED TO SCREW HER. 99 00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000 YEAH, DON'T DO THAT. YOU KNOW THAT, RIGHT? 100 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000 THAT'S -- THAT'S FROWNED UPON. 101 00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000 YEAH. 102 00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000 [ BOTH LAUGHING ] 103 00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:25,000 YOU KNOW, YOU GUYS... 104 00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:28,000 YOU KNOW, YOU GIVE ME SHIT FOR DOING NOTHING WITH MY LIFE, 105 00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:30,000 AND NOW I'M DOING SOMETHING, AND YOU'RE STILL GIVING ME SHIT. 106 00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:32,000 YEAH, RIGHT. NO, RIGHT. LOOK, IT'S GREAT. 107 00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:34,000 IT'S JUST -- IT'S KIND OF OUT OF NOWHERE. 108 00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:36,000 I WAS READING THIS ARTICLE IN Z MAGAZINE. 109 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,000 THERE'S A MAGAZINE CALLED Z? 110 00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:38,000 I DON'T KNOW, MAN. 111 00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:41,000 BASICALLY IT WAS SAYING THAT OF ALL THE SOCIAL PROGRAMS, 112 00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,000 THIS ONE STILL HOLDS WATER. 113 00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:45,000 THESE KIDS, THEY SUFFER FROM A LACK 114 00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000 OF A STRONG, MALE PRESENCE. 115 00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:48,000 PLUS, I LIKE THE IDEA OF MENTORING SOMEONE 116 00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:50,000 AND HELPING THEM AVOID MISTAKES 117 00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:53,000 THAT COULD SCREW UP THEIR LIFE. 118 00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000 MOST OF ALL, IT'S SOMETHING I WISH SOMEBODY HAD DONE FOR ME 119 00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:58,000 WHEN I WAS GROWING UP. 120 00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000 THAT'S GONNA BE ONE SCREWED-UP KID. 121 00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,000 OH, A FRICKIN' NUT JOB, THAT KID. 122 00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:05,000 [ LAUGHS ] 123 00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:08,000 Lucy: SO, WE'RE GONNA GO RIGHT AFTER DINNER, RIGHT? 124 00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:10,000 YES, LUCY, I SAID THAT THREE TIMES ALREADY. COME ON. 125 00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,000 HOW ABOUT -- LET'S JUST HAVE A NICE VISIT. 126 00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,000 Albert: LAST TIME WE CAME, 127 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:16,000 GRANDPA ARTIE WORE THE SAME PANTS ALL FOUR DAYS. 128 00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000 WHAT? NO. NO, HE DIDN'T. 129 00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,000 YES, HE DID. 130 00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,000 YOU REMEMBER, RIGHT? YEAH. 131 00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:22,000 HE'S PROBABLY GOT FOUR OR FIVE OF THE SAME PANTS. 132 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,000 OLD PEOPLE DO THAT. 133 00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,000 [ DOORBELL RINGS ] 134 00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000 MAYBE WE JUST SHOULD'VE BROUGHT TWO CARS. 135 00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:30,000 AND NO SCREENS. NOPE, NO PHONES, NO SCREENS. 136 00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000 POCKET. POCKET. WHAT? 137 00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,000 NO TV? I'VE BEEN -- 138 00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:34,000 TALKING. CONVERSATION. 139 00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000 [ DOOR OPENS ] 140 00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,000 HEY, THERE THEY ARE. HEY, DAD. 141 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,000 COME ON IN. COME ON IN. YEAH. 142 00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:41,000 YEAH. 143 00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:43,000 SAME PANTS. 144 00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:46,000 [ WATER DRIPPING ] 145 00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000 HEY, DAD, MUST BE NICE -- 146 00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:05,000 GOT A MOVIE THEATER A COUPLE BLOCKS AWAY, RIGHT? 147 00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000 YOU SEE ANYTHING GOOD? 148 00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:08,000 MM, NOT REALLY, YOU KNOW. 149 00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:11,000 BEEN THERE ONCE OR TWICE, YOU KNOW. 150 00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:13,000 YEAH. 151 00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000 OH, DID I TELL YOU? 152 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:19,000 LUCY WON AN AWARD FOR HER WRITING. 153 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,000 YOU DON'T SAY. 154 00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:23,000 YEAH, OUR WINTER WRITING PROJECT 155 00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:25,000 WAS ABOUT APPLYING FOR GRANTS AND STUFF LIKE THAT. 156 00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:27,000 SO I DID MINE ON SOLAR POWER, 157 00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:30,000 TRYING TO GET FUNDING FOR THIS PROJECT IN THE DESERT 158 00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:34,000 THAT WOULD POWER OVER A MILLION HOMES. 159 00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:37,000 WOW. PRETTY GOOD. 160 00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 161 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:41,000 ALBERT MADE THE GOLF TEAM, TOO. 162 00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,000 REALLY? 163 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,000 THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, TOO, BABY. 164 00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:47,000 SPEAKING OF GOLF, THE COLONIAL'S ON RIGHT NOW. 165 00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000 WANT TO PUT ON THE TV? 166 00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000 NO. NO. 167 00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:52,000 DAD, WHAT'S -- WHAT DO YOU GOT UP THERE, A LEAK? 168 00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:54,000 YEP. [ CHUCKLES ] 169 00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,000 SO WHY DON'T YOU FIX IT? 170 00:06:56,000 --> 00:07:00,000 THIS PLACE HAS A GUY. THEY LIKE HIM TO DO IT. 171 00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:03,000 WELL, SINCE WHEN DO YOU LET ANYBODY FIX ANYTHING FOR YOU? 172 00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:05,000 THEY LIKE HIM TO DO IT. 173 00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:07,000 YEAH, BUT DO THEY KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT JUST SOME -- 174 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:09,000 THAT YOU OWNED A HARDWARE STORE, 175 00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:11,000 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DOING? 176 00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000 LET 'EM FIX IT. WHAT DO I CARE? 177 00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:20,000 [ SIGHS ] 178 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,000 WHAT DO YOU SAY WE, UH, FIRE UP THE TV, 179 00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000 SEE WHAT THE COLONIAL'S UP TO? 180 00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:28,000 YEAH. YEAH. 181 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000 MICKELSON MADE A RUN YESTERDAY. 182 00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:31,000 YEAH. 183 00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000 [ CROWD CHEERING ON TV ] 184 00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:41,000 KNOCK, KNOCK. 185 00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000 HEY. HEY. 186 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,000 YOUR MAILBOX STILL ISN'T FIXED. 187 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:44,000 YEAH, YEAH. 188 00:07:44,000 --> 00:07:46,000 HEY, WHAT IS ALL THIS? 189 00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:49,000 WE GOT SOME LENTILS GOING ON OVER HERE. 190 00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000 GOT A DASH OF CUMIN 191 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,000 AND SOME LIME JUICE. 192 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:54,000 BUT THE SECRET -- 193 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:57,000 THE SECRET IS GOLDEN RAISINS, NOT REGULAR. 194 00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000 HMM. TASTE. 195 00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000 MMM! 196 00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:01,000 IT'S GOOD, RIGHT? MM-HMM. 197 00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:03,000 GETTING THE WHOLE PLAY BETWEEN THE THYME AND THE RAISINS AND -- 198 00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:06,000 MM-HMM. MMM. 199 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,000 LET ME TASTE. 200 00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000 HMM. 201 00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000 IS THAT MENTHOL CHAP STICK? 202 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:17,000 IT CLASHES WITH THE CUMIN. 203 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000 TRY AGAIN. 204 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:23,000 MM. 205 00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,000 YOU KNOW, I THINK IT KIND OF PROVIDES 206 00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:30,000 AN INTERESTING COUNTERPOINT TO THE, UH... 207 00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:32,000 MM. 208 00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:34,000 MM. 209 00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:37,000 SCREW THE LENTILS. 210 00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:42,000 [ GIGGLES ] 211 00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 212 00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:45,000 Annie: HEY. WHAT? 213 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,000 "BIG BROTHER." 214 00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,000 YEAH. WHAT'S THIS? 215 00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:50,000 YEP, THAT IS RIGHT. 216 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:53,000 BUT DON'T WORRY. I'LL STILL HAVE TIME FOR YOU. 217 00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:57,000 YOU DON'T HAVE TIME FOR ME NOW, SO HOW WOULD THAT BE A WORRY? 218 00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000 I'M KIDDING. 219 00:08:58,000 --> 00:09:00,000 THIS IS GREAT. 220 00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000 YOU'RE GONNA BE A GREAT BIG BROTHER. 221 00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:04,000 THANK YOU. UM... 222 00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000 BY THE WAY, 223 00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:08,000 THIS IS A 12-YEAR-OLD KID WE'RE TALKING ABOUT HERE, 224 00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:11,000 SO YOU MIGHT WANT TO START WEARING A BRA. 225 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,000 YOU WANT THE KID TO COME BACK, RIGHT? 226 00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:14,000 [ LAUGHS ] 227 00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000 WHAT? 228 00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:20,000 NOTHING. JUST, UH... 229 00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:23,000 THE GOOD NEWS IS, YOU'RE GONNA BE ABLE 230 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,000 TO WALK AROUND HERE NAKED IF YOU WANT TO. 231 00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:32,000 IT JUST DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE. 232 00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:34,000 I'M SURE THE REASON IS SOMETHING STUPID. 233 00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,000 WELL, I'M SURE, TOO. I MEAN, I HAD GREAT REFERENCES. 234 00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:39,000 THE INTERVIEW WAS INCREDIBLE. 235 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:42,000 I MEAN, WE CONNECTED, YOU KNOW. 236 00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,000 SMILES AND EYE CONTACT, UNDERSTANDING NODS. 237 00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:48,000 THE WHOLE PACKAGE. I MURDERED IT. 238 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000 TERRY... I MEAN, 239 00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:50,000 WHO GETS REJECTED 240 00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000 FROM BEING A BIG BROTHER, FOR GOD'S SAKE? 241 00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:54,000 AREN'T THESE KIDS WHO LIVE IN POVERTY 242 00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000 AND COME FROM BROKEN HOMES? 243 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:58,000 I MEAN, ARE THEY REALLY SAYING, "YOU KNOW WHAT'S WORSE? 244 00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000 A COUPLE HOURS WITH THAT GUY." 245 00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:03,000 WELL, LET ME ASK YOU. [ SIGHS ] YEAH? 246 00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:06,000 THAT DAY, DID YOU... 247 00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000 NO. 248 00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:13,000 SO, YOU DIDN'T HAVE ANY KIND OF, LIKE, RESIDUAL HIGH 249 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 DURING THE INTERVIEW? HOW MUCH POT 250 00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:15,000 DO YOU THINK I SMOKE? 251 00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,000 NOT THAT MUCH. 252 00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000 I ACED THAT INTERVIEW. 253 00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:20,000 I THOUGHT THEY WERE GONNA GIVE ME FIVE KIDS. 254 00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:22,000 AND AT THE END, SHE GAVE ME THE TWO-HANDED HANDSHAKE. 255 00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:25,000 YOU KNOW, NOT JUST THE FORMAL, "NICE TO MEET YOU," 256 00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:28,000 BUT, UH, "REALLY NICE TO MEET YOU." 257 00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,000 HUH? 258 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:33,000 OKAY, WELL... 259 00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:35,000 THEY SUGGEST A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER THINGS HERE 260 00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:37,000 THAT YOU CAN DO. 261 00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:39,000 WHAT ABOUT ANIMAL RESCUE? 262 00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:41,000 OH, YEAH, I'M NOT GOOD ENOUGH FOR A HUMAN, 263 00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:43,000 SO I SHOULD SETTLE ON A DOG. 264 00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,000 OKAY, WELL, THERE'S COMMUNITY IMPROVEMENT. 265 00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000 DO THEY GIVE ME AN ORANGE JUMPSUIT, 266 00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000 OR DO I HAVE TO GET MY OWN? 267 00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000 [ SIGHS ] 268 00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000 LOOK AT THIS. 269 00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000 YOU COULD PLANT TREES. 270 00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:56,000 WE COULD PLANT TREES TOGETHER. 271 00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:05,000 [ SIGHS ] 272 00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000 MMM! 273 00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:11,000 THAT KID IS GONNA BE MISSING OUT ON SOME AWESOME LENTILS. 274 00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:15,000 KIDS HATE LENTILS. 275 00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:20,000 AND ONE THING YOU CAN COUNT ON HERE AT THOREAU CHEVROLET. 276 00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000 IN TODAY'S ECONOMY, 277 00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:23,000 YOUR FAMILY IS GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES. 278 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:25,000 AND OUR FAMILY... 279 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,000 IS HERE TO HELP. 280 00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,000 THOREAU CHEVROLET IN ENCINO. 281 00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:30,000 ALL-STAR CARS FOR ALL-STAR CUSTOMERS. 282 00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000 [ TAPPING ON GLASS ] 283 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,000 THIS -- THIS IS PROBABLY STUPID, BUT, UM... 284 00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:45,000 YOU THINK THIS COMMERCIAL GIVES THE WRONG IMPRESSION? 285 00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:47,000 OH, HELL, YES. 286 00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000 YOU DO? REALLY? OF COURSE. 287 00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,000 I MEAN, WHEN YOUR DAD SAYS, "OUR FAMILY IS HERE TO HELP," 288 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000 AND THEN IT'S JUST HIM AND MARCUS? 289 00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:54,000 "FAMILY" MEANS ALL OF US, RIGHT? 290 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000 WE SHOULD ALL BE IN THAT COMMERCIAL. 291 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,000 O-KAY. 292 00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000 UH, BUT WHAT I'M SAYING IS, 293 00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:02,000 DOES IT SEEM LIKE MARCUS IS HIS SON? 294 00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:04,000 NAH. 295 00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:08,000 ALTHOUGH I KIND OF SEE WHAT YOU'RE SAYING. 296 00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:10,000 YOU KNOW, IF YOU'RE WORRIED ABOUT IT, 297 00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000 YOU SHOULD JUST ASK YOUR DAD TO RESHOOT. 298 00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:14,000 PUT THE WHOLE FAMILY IN THERE, 299 00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:16,000 AND THAT'LL GET RID OF THE CONFUSION YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT. 300 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000 MY MOM KEEPS ASKING ME WHEN I'M GONNA BE 301 00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000 IN ONE OF THESE COMMERCIALS, MAN. 302 00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:21,000 IT'S LIKE SHE'S -- 303 00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:23,000 HEY, SIR, THIS SPOT LOOKS GREAT, OKAY? 304 00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:25,000 ALREADY A BUNCH OF CUSTOMERS HAVE COME IN 305 00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:27,000 AND SAID THAT'S THE REASON WHY THEY'RE HERE. 306 00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000 GOOD. 307 00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000 OWEN'S GOT A THING, THOUGH. 308 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,000 YOU GOT A THING? YEAH, JUST SOME 309 00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:34,000 CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM. 310 00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000 YOU KNOW, I'M GETTING A CAR WASHED. 311 00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:37,000 AND THE CUSTOMER'S WAITING, SO... 312 00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:40,000 SO, WHAT'S YOUR "THING"? 313 00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000 WELL... 314 00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:48,000 OKAY, LOOK AT THIS. 315 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,000 YOU SEE WHERE YOU PUT YOUR ARM AROUND MARCUS HERE? 316 00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:52,000 MM-HMM. 317 00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,000 YOU DID THAT RIGHT AS YOU WERE SAYING THE WORDS "OUR FAMILY." 318 00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000 MM-HMM. 319 00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,000 I'M JUST THINKING IT COULD SEEM, POSSIBLY, TO SOME 320 00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:04,000 THAT YOU WERE PRESENTING MARCUS AS YOUR SON. 321 00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:09,000 THAT'S SO VERY STUPID, I DON'T KNOW WHERE TO BEGIN. 322 00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000 WELL, I'M NOT SAYING DEFINITELY. I'M JUST -- 323 00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000 I MEAN, I HAVE TAKEN PICTURES 324 00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:15,000 WITH MILLIONS OF FANS ALL OVER THIS COUNTRY 325 00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:17,000 WITH MY ARM ABOUT THEM IN THAT EXACT SAME POSE. 326 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,000 AND DO YOU THINK PEOPLE ASSUME THAT EACH ONE 327 00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:20,000 OF THEM IS MY CHILD? 328 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,000 NO. 329 00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:23,000 WHAT IS IT, THEN? WELL... 330 00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000 WELL, YOU WANT TO BE IN THE COMMERCIAL? 331 00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000 NO! THEN IF I WERE YOU, 332 00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:28,000 I WOULD START WORRYING MORE ABOUT SALES 333 00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000 AND LESS ABOUT WHETHER OR NOT 334 00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:32,000 PEOPLE THINK MARCUS IS MY SON, 335 00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:35,000 BECAUSE ANYBODY THAT LOOKS AT THAT COMMERCIAL 336 00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000 AND THINKS THAT 337 00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000 IS AN IDIOT. 338 00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000 LET ME STOP YOU, JOYCE. 339 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000 THAT IS NOT OWEN IN THE COMMERCIAL. 340 00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000 OH, IT SEEMS LIKE IT, HUH? 341 00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:47,000 BUT OF COURSE IT'S NOT. 342 00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:50,000 I MEAN, YOU KNOW OWEN. YOU KNOW OUR SON. 343 00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000 WELL, HE'S MUCH HEAVIER. YOU'VE SEEN HIM. 344 00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:53,000 HE'S OVERWEIGHT. 345 00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:56,000 LOOK, JOYCE, I THINK IF YOU LOOK AT THE COMMERCIAL AGAIN, 346 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:59,000 YOU'LL SEE IT'S NOT HIM. 347 00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:01,000 OKAY? I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. 348 00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,000 MM-HMM. 349 00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:07,000 [ TELEPHONE RECEIVER SLAMS ] 350 00:14:07,000 --> 00:14:11,000 [ TELEPHONE RINGING ] 351 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,000 [ CROWD CHEERING ON TV ] 352 00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:26,000 [ CLAPS ] OKAY. 353 00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000 COME ON. LET'S GO DO SOMETHING. 354 00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:31,000 I DON'T KNOW. LET'S GO TAKE A WALK. 355 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,000 NO. NAH. 356 00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,000 NO. 357 00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:36,000 IT'S NICE HERE, DAD. 358 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:39,000 TREES, FRESH AIR. IT'S REAL NICE. 359 00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000 YEAH, GREAT. 360 00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000 THIS IS WHAT YOU SHOULD DO EVERY DAY -- 361 00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000 GET OUT, WALK, EVERY DAY. 362 00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:47,000 HEY, HEY, HEY, FELLA. 363 00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000 WHERE'S YOUR ROOF COATING? 364 00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:50,000 YOU KNOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUT SOME ON THE TIP OF THAT. 365 00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:53,000 OKAY, DAD. SORRY. HE USED TO OWN A HARDWARE STORE. 366 00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:55,000 LET THE MAN WORK. NO, THAT'S COOL. 367 00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:57,000 ACTUALLY, SIR, I'M USING PRESSURE-TREATED REDWOOD. 368 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,000 I'M GONNA DROP SIX INCHES OF GRAVEL IN THE HOLE. 369 00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:02,000 UNH-UNH, UNH-UNH. THAT'S ALL ROOKIE STUFF. 370 00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:04,000 YOU WANT TO DO A PROFESSIONAL JOB, 371 00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:07,000 YOU HAVE TO SLAP A LITTLE PITCH ON THERE. 372 00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000 COME ON. 373 00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:10,000 [ LAUGHS ] YOU MUST BE AN EAST COASTER. 374 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000 YEAH. YEAH, HERE WE DON'T 375 00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:12,000 GET ENOUGH RAIN 376 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:14,000 TO WORRY ABOUT THAT EXTRA LAYER OF WEATHERPROOFING. 377 00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:16,000 [ CHUCKLES ] THANKS A LOT, ANN LANDERS. 378 00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000 OKAY, DAD. 379 00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:19,000 HEY, THANK YOU. SEE YOU AROUND. 380 00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:21,000 YEAH. [ CHUCKLING ] 381 00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:24,000 ACTUALLY, DAD, YOU'RE THE ONE GIVING ADVICE, 382 00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:27,000 SO IF ANYBODY'S ANN LANDERS, IT'S YOU. 383 00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:29,000 AH, THAT'S ROOKIE CRAP. 384 00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000 [ CHUCKLING ] 385 00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:33,000 ANYWAY, LIKE I'M SAYING, YOU GOT TO DO THIS EVERY DAY. 386 00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:35,000 GET OUT HERE, TAKE A WALK. 387 00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000 AH, THE ONLY GUY WHO WALKS AROUND 388 00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,000 THE SAME NEIGHBORHOOD EVERY DAY 389 00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000 IS THE GUY WHO CAN'T GET A JOB. 390 00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 391 00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:43,000 DAD, THAT'S NOT YOU. 392 00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:45,000 YOU'RE -- YOU'RE RETIRED. 393 00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:49,000 YEAH, GREAT. 394 00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,000 HA! 395 00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:55,000 Joe: SO, THIS IS MY DAD, ARTIE. 396 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:57,000 HE'S GONNA BE HELPING US OUT HERE A BIT. 397 00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000 OKAY, THIS IS MARIA. HOW YOU DOING? 398 00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:00,000 DaSHAUN. WHAT'S GOING ON, ARTIE? 399 00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,000 AND CARLOS. 400 00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:03,000 YOU SWEEP? 401 00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:07,000 MY SISTER'S PART ELF, PART SASQUATCH. 402 00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000 Marcus: HEY, I'M JUST SAYING. 403 00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000 SHE'S MOSTLY SASQUATCH. 404 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000 YOU SAID SHE WAS 6 FEET TALL. 405 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000 SOUNDS LIKE SASQUATCH TO ME. 406 00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000 90/10 SASQUATCH, ELF. 407 00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:14,000 SHE'S A BIG GIRL. 408 00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:17,000 WE'RE TALKING A FAT LITTLE LAWRENCE WITH A WIG? 409 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000 YEAH, THAT'S PRETTY GOOD, ACTUALLY. 410 00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,000 SHE'S KIND OF HOT. WHOA. 411 00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:22,000 WE'VE GOT TO REDO THIS COMMERCIAL WITH YOU IN IT. 412 00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:24,000 WHAT? WHY? 413 00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:26,000 BECAUSE THERE ARE SO VERY MANY IDIOTS IN THIS WORLD, 414 00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000 AND THEY ALL CALLED YOUR MOTHER. 415 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:29,000 MR. THOREAU, DOES SHE KNOW HOW HARD YOU WORKED 416 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:31,000 ON THAT COMMERCIAL, SIR? 417 00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000 YOU KNOW, YOU DAMN NEAR SHOT IT YOURSELF. 418 00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000 IF IT WERE UP TO ME, I'D JUST COOL DOWN -- 419 00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000 IT'S NOT UP TO YOU. IT'S UP TO ME. 420 00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:37,000 NOW, YOU'RE GONNA GIVE THE SCRIPT TO OWEN, 421 00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000 AND THAT'S GOING TO BE THE END OF IT. 422 00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:41,000 OF COURSE, SIR. JUNIOR O. GETTING HIS SHOT. 423 00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,000 LET ME KNOW IF YOU NEED ME TO GIVE YOU ANY PERFORMANCE TIPS. 424 00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000 MR. THOREAU, HEY, UM, 425 00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000 IS EVERYONE GONNA BE PART OF THE RESHOOT? 426 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000 BECAUSE WE'RE ALL PART OF THE DEALERSHIP FAMILY, RIGHT? 427 00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:52,000 AND ALSO, JUST FROM A SALES POINT OF VIEW, I MEAN, 428 00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:56,000 IT MIGHT BE GOOD TO THROW IN A TINY, SCRAPPY SALESMAN, 429 00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:58,000 YOU KNOW, JUST TO SHOW... 430 00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,000 SCRAPPINESS. 431 00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:06,000 MULL IT OVER. 432 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:08,000 YOU STUDY THAT SCRIPT AND YOU COME IN TOMORROW 433 00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000 READY TO DO THE DAMN THING. 434 00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:12,000 DADDY, I APPRECIATE YOUR ATTEMPT TO RECTIFY THIS, 435 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,000 BUT IT'S REALLY NOT NECESSARY. 436 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:16,000 DO YOU THINK I DON'T KNOW THAT? 437 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:18,000 THE PROBLEM IS WE'RE BOTH MARRIED TO TWO CRAZY PEOPLE 438 00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:20,000 WHO DECIDED IT WAS NECESSARY. 439 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:22,000 "BOTH"? DON'T TELL ME MELISSA SAID SOMETHING. 440 00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:24,000 EVERYBODY SAID SOMETHING. 441 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:26,000 SO, IS THERE ANYBODY ELSE WHO WOULD LIKE TO STOP ME 442 00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:28,000 ON THE WAY TO THE OFFICE? 443 00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000 BIG SHOES TO FILL, HOSS. 444 00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:45,000 HEY. 445 00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000 DID YOU TELL MY MOTHER 446 00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:48,000 THAT IT LOOKED LIKE MARCUS WAS MY FATHER'S SON? 447 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000 IT DID. 448 00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:53,000 OH, COME ON. WE TALKED THIS THING OVER. 449 00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:55,000 YOU CAN'T -- I MEAN -- 450 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,000 [ GRUNTS ] 451 00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:01,000 YOU -- YOU KNOW WE'RE RESHOOTING THE THING ALL OVER AGAIN, 452 00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,000 AND -- AND I HAVE TO DO ALL THE MARCUS PARTS. 453 00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000 WELL, GOOD. NO, NO, NOT GOOD. 454 00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:06,000 I DON'T WANT ANY PART OF THIS THING. 455 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 COME ON, IT DIDN'T BUG YOU SEEING YOUR FATHER 456 00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:08,000 ACT THAT WAY WITH MARCUS? 457 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000 NO, NO. IT DID NOT. 458 00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:12,000 NO, NO, PEOPLE, UH, PUT THAT PERCEPTION IN MY HEAD, 459 00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000 AND -- AND I WONDERED ABOUT THAT PERCEPTION. 460 00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:17,000 I NEVER EMBRACED IT. REALLY? 461 00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:20,000 LOOK, OF ALL THE THINGS I HATE ABOUT WORKING THERE, 462 00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000 HAVE YOU EVER HEARD ME COMPLAIN 463 00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000 THAT I'M NOT IN THE COMMERCIALS? 464 00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:25,000 NO. I DON'T CARE ABOUT COMMERCIALS. 465 00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000 THEY JUST INTERRUPT CARTOONS AND PEOPLE'S SEX LIVES AND -- 466 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000 BABY. 467 00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:32,000 ARE YOU NERVOUS? 468 00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:34,000 YES. 469 00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:37,000 I... [ SIGHS ] 470 00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:39,000 I DON'T LIKE CAMERAS. 471 00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,000 THAT'S -- 472 00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:42,000 WE'RE GETTING DOWN TO IT. OKAY. 473 00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000 YOU LISTEN TO ME. 474 00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,000 YOU ARE GOING TO BE GREAT. 475 00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:49,000 NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. YOU'RE A GOOD SPEAKER. 476 00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:51,000 AND YOU'RE HANDSOME, AND PEOPLE TRUST YOU. 477 00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000 AND, BY THE WAY, 478 00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:55,000 IF YOU EVER PLAN ON TAKING OVER THIS DEALERSHIP, 479 00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000 COMMERCIALS COME WITH THE GIG. 480 00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:58,000 THE ROOT WORD IS "COMMERCE." 481 00:18:58,000 --> 00:19:00,000 I-I KNOW, BUT MAR-MARCUS AND MY FATHER 482 00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:02,000 ARE -- ARE GOOD AT THIS SORT OF THING. 483 00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000 THEY'RE -- THEY'RE BOTH VERY... 484 00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:06,000 CHARISMATIC. 485 00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:11,000 AND IF YOU ASK ME, YOU ARE EXTREMELY CHARISMATIC. 486 00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:15,000 NOBODY'S GONNA ASK YOU. 487 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:17,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 488 00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:23,000 EXCUSE ME. 489 00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:31,000 HI! 490 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:33,000 I'M TERRY. 491 00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000 I WAS HERE ABOUT A MONTH AGO. 492 00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:36,000 YOU INTERVIEWED ME ABOUT BEING A BIG BROTHER. 493 00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000 YES. 494 00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000 YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YOU LOOK CONFUSED, 495 00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:43,000 WHICH IS FUNNY, BECAUSE I'M CONFUSED, TOO. 496 00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:45,000 I MEAN, I-I DON'T KNOW. MAYBE I'M WRONG. 497 00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:48,000 I JUST -- I FELT LIKE I WAS GONNA GET A KID. 498 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,000 OH. NO WORRIES. 499 00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:52,000 I'M JUST -- I'M SURPRISED. 500 00:19:52,000 --> 00:19:53,000 WAS THERE SOMETHING THAT YOU FELT 501 00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:55,000 I COULD HAVE DONE DIFFERENTLY? 502 00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:57,000 OKAY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER, 503 00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:59,000 BUT WHEN YOU WERE HERE, I WENT OVER OUR POLICY 504 00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,000 IN CASE YOU WERE NOT ACCEPTED INTO THE PROGRAM. 505 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000 SURE, SURE, SURE. 506 00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000 I'M NOT ALLOWED TO DISCLOSE ANYTHING 507 00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000 ABOUT THE DECISION-MAKING PROCESS. 508 00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,000 I'M SORRY. 509 00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000 A COPY OF THE POLICY 510 00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000 SHOULD HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN IN THE LETTER THAT YOU GOT. 511 00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:12,000 ABSOLUTELY, YOU KNOW, AND I GET ALL THAT. 512 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,000 I DO. IT'S JUST -- 513 00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,000 BUT, YOU KNOW, I JUST THOUGHT, UM... 514 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:18,000 BECAUSE IT'S KIND OF DRIVING ME A LITTLE NUTS HERE, 515 00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:22,000 THAT MAYBE YOU COULD JUST GIVE ME A LITTLE INFORMATION 516 00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000 WITHOUT, I MEAN... 517 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,000 OR LET ME JUST ASK YOU, 518 00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000 WAS IT BECAUSE I'M SINGLE? 519 00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:29,000 AND THE REASON I'M ASKING 520 00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,000 IS BECAUSE I REALLY FELT LIKE THAT MIGHT BE A GOOD THING. 521 00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000 BECAUSE I DON'T HAVE ANY OTHER FAMILY, YOU KNOW, 522 00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:35,000 AND I COULD JUST FOCUS COMPLETELY ON THE KID. 523 00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:38,000 YEAH, SEE, I'M SORRY. I REALLY CAN'T -- 524 00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:40,000 WELL, WAS THERE SOMETHING IN THE BACKGROUND CHECK? 525 00:20:40,000 --> 00:20:43,000 OH, GOLLY, BY THE WAY, I-I DID REALIZE WHEN I GOT HOME 526 00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:45,000 THAT I HAD ACCIDENTALLY TAKEN ONE OF YOUR PENS. 527 00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:47,000 OOH, WASN'T THAT, WAS IT? 528 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,000 I MEAN, NOT EXACTLY CRIMINAL BEHAVIOR. 529 00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:51,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 530 00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,000 ANYWAY... 531 00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:56,000 ANYWAY, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU REMEMBER, BUT, UM... 532 00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,000 I'M AN ACTOR. 533 00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:59,000 UH...OKAY. 534 00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000 YEAH, NOW, I'M NOT EXACTLY 535 00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:02,000 WORKING IN THAT FIELD AT THIS MOMENT. 536 00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:04,000 FOR THAT MATTER, YOU KNOW, IF I WAS A WORKING ACTOR, 537 00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:08,000 I'D PROBABLY BE A LOT LESS AVAILABLE, BIG BROTHER-WISE. 538 00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:11,000 SO, YOU KNOW, I FEEL LIKE THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN IN MY FAVOR. 539 00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:15,000 YOU KNOW, I LOVE HIKING AND MUSEUMS AND GOING TO THE MOVIES 540 00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000 AND DOING ALL KINDS OF THINGS 541 00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:20,000 THAT BIG BROTHERS LIKE TO DO, YOU KNOW? 542 00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:23,000 HELL, I DO THAT STUFF ALREADY. 543 00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000 I'M SORRY. I REALLY CAN'T -- 544 00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:25,000 LET ME JUST ASK YOU THIS. 545 00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,000 IN THE INTERVIEW I DID, 546 00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:30,000 WAS I...FLIRTATIOUS? 547 00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:32,000 BECAUSE I DO THAT. I JUST GIVE THAT OFF. 548 00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:34,000 AND THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. 549 00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000 N-NOT THAT YOU'RE NOT ATTRACTIVE. 550 00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000 I MEAN, WELL, I JUST THOUGHT -- 551 00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:40,000 YOU KNOW, I FELT LIKE WE REALLY CONNECTED, AND -- 552 00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:42,000 OKAY, LOOK. I'M SORRY. 553 00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:45,000 I'M SURE YOU'RE A GOOD GUY. IT'S NO JUDGMENT ON YOU. 554 00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:47,000 OKAY? 555 00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:50,000 WELL, I'M SORRY, BUT IT'S EXACTLY A JUDGMENT ON ME. 556 00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:53,000 SIR, I'VE SAID I CAN'T HELP YOU, 557 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:55,000 AND THIS IS REALLY NOT APPROPRIATE, OKAY? 558 00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:58,000 I THINK IT'S TIME THAT YOU LEAVE. 559 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:06,000 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 560 00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:07,000 [ SIGHS ] 561 00:22:07,000 --> 00:22:09,000 OKAY, OKAY. 562 00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:12,000 ALL I'M SAYING IS... LOOK AT THAT GUY. 563 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000 HUH? 564 00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000 WHO'S A BETTER BIG BROTHER, 565 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:17,000 ME OR JERRY GARCIA OVER THERE? 566 00:22:18,000 --> 00:22:19,000 RIGHT? 567 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,000 HIS WHOLE OUTFIT'S MADE OUT OF HEMP. 568 00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000 HE'S PROBABLY GONNA TAKE THAT SHIRT HOME AND SMOKE IT. 569 00:22:23,000 --> 00:22:24,000 [ LAUGHS ] 570 00:22:24,000 --> 00:22:27,000 IT'S A JOKE. 571 00:22:29,000 --> 00:22:31,000 WHATEVER. 572 00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:35,000 DO I GOT TO WEAR A VEST? 573 00:22:35,000 --> 00:22:37,000 EVERY EMPLOYEE WEARS A VEST. 574 00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:39,000 OTHERWISE, CUSTOMERS JUST THINK 575 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000 YOU'RE AN OLD PERV WHO'S INTO PIÑATAS. 576 00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,000 WHERE'S YOUR VEST? 577 00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000 I'M NOT AN EMPLOYEE. 578 00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:47,000 AH, MY FIRST DAY, AND I ALREADY HATE THE BOSS. 579 00:22:47,000 --> 00:22:48,000 YEAH. ALL RIGHT. 580 00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000 IT'LL GET BETTER. COME ON. 581 00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:53,000 JUST TAKE THE BALLOON, PLACE IT ON HERE, 582 00:22:53,000 --> 00:22:55,000 AWAY FROM YOU. 583 00:22:57,000 --> 00:22:58,000 THERE IT IS. 584 00:23:01,000 --> 00:23:02,000 [ BALLOON SQUEAKS ] 585 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,000 IT'S ALL GOOD. WE GOT PLENTY MORE WHERE THAT CAME FROM. 586 00:23:05,000 --> 00:23:06,000 [ Laughing ] I HOPE SO. 587 00:23:07,000 --> 00:23:09,000 [ INDISTINCT TALKING ] 588 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 SO, YOU HAVE TO RUN IT UNDER THIS BLUE-LIGHT THING 589 00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000 TO MAKE SURE IT'S NOT -- 590 00:23:20,000 --> 00:23:22,000 I USED TO JUST EYEBALL IT. 591 00:23:25,000 --> 00:23:29,000 YOU GOT PARTY STORES IN YOUR COUNTRY? 592 00:23:32,000 --> 00:23:34,000 WE GOT SOME GLITTERY, GOLD NAPKINS. 593 00:23:34,000 --> 00:23:37,000 IT'S PRETTY EASY, RIGHT? [ CHUCKLES ] 594 00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:41,000 [ GROWLING ] 595 00:23:56,000 --> 00:23:57,000 HEY. HI. 596 00:23:57,000 --> 00:23:59,000 OH, HI. 597 00:23:59,000 --> 00:24:01,000 WOULD YOU BELIEVE I NEED MORE BALLOONS? 598 00:24:01,000 --> 00:24:03,000 THE RECEPTIONIST IN THE OFFICE IS RETIRING. 599 00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:05,000 OH, GREAT. GOOD. OKAY, DAD, I GOT THIS. 600 00:24:05,000 --> 00:24:07,000 WHY DON'T YOU GO SEE IF DaSHAUN NEEDS HELP IN THE BACK? 601 00:24:12,000 --> 00:24:14,000 OKAY. 602 00:24:16,000 --> 00:24:18,000 THE PARROT SAYS, 603 00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:21,000 "HEY, MISTER, YOU KNOW." 604 00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:23,000 [ LAUGHS ] 605 00:24:23,000 --> 00:24:25,000 THAT'S A GOOD ONE. 606 00:24:25,000 --> 00:24:28,000 HE SAID, "TU SABES." 607 00:24:28,000 --> 00:24:31,000 [ LAUGHTER ] 608 00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,000 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 609 00:24:38,000 --> 00:24:39,000 HEY. 610 00:24:39,000 --> 00:24:40,000 WHAT, DID DaSHAUN TAKE OFF? 611 00:24:41,000 --> 00:24:44,000 I GOT TO TELL YOU, THE MUSIC THAT KID PLAYS ON THE JUKEBOX 612 00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,000 GIVES ME A HEADACHE. 613 00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:47,000 THAT'S MY MUSIC. 614 00:24:47,000 --> 00:24:48,000 TERRIBLE. 615 00:24:48,000 --> 00:24:49,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 616 00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000 HEY, FULL DAY, DAD. 617 00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000 YOU OKAY? YOU TIRED? 618 00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:53,000 NAH. 619 00:24:53,000 --> 00:24:55,000 THE KID AND PEDRO DID ALL THE HEAVY LIFTING, YOU KNOW. 620 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:58,000 HIS NAME'S ACTUALLY CARLOS. 621 00:24:58,000 --> 00:24:59,000 WHO? 622 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:01,000 PEDRO. 623 00:25:01,000 --> 00:25:03,000 HEY, WHAT'S WITH THE TALL NUMBER WITH THE BIG CHEST? 624 00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:06,000 ARE YOU PUTTIN' AN ARM ON HER? 625 00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000 [ LAUGHS ] SHE'S A CUSTOMER. 626 00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,000 AND IF BY "PUTTIN' AN ARM ON" 627 00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:13,000 YOU MEAN, AM I DATING HER, NO. 628 00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,000 NO, SHE'S, UH, 629 00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:18,000 A LITTLE BIT OUT OF MY LEAGUE, DON'T YOU THINK? 630 00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:20,000 OH, THAT'S BULLSHIT. 631 00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:23,000 YOUR MOM WAS WAY OUT OF MY LEAGUE, BUT THAT DIDN'T STOP ME. 632 00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,000 YOU WERE ONLY 8 YEARS OLD. 633 00:25:25,000 --> 00:25:27,000 YOU DON'T REMEMBER HOW PRETTY SHE WAS. 634 00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:28,000 A KNOCKOUT. 635 00:25:28,000 --> 00:25:31,000 YEAH, I WAS 12, DAD. I REMEMBER. 636 00:25:31,000 --> 00:25:33,000 I REMEMBER PLENTY. 637 00:25:33,000 --> 00:25:35,000 I THOUGHT YOU WERE YOUNGER THAN THAT. 638 00:25:35,000 --> 00:25:36,000 NO. 639 00:25:36,000 --> 00:25:39,000 SO, IS SUNDAY GOOD? 'CAUSE I DON'T CARE. 640 00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:40,000 YOU CAN WORK ANY DAY YOU WANT HERE. 641 00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:42,000 NAH, I'M DONE. 642 00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:43,000 WHAT DO YOU MEAN? 643 00:25:44,000 --> 00:25:46,000 AH, IT WAS NICE, BUT COME ON. 644 00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000 WHAT? I DON'T GET IT. YOU LIKED IT HERE, RIGHT? 645 00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:52,000 YEAH, I HAD SOME FUN, BUT THIS IS WORK FOR KIDS. 646 00:25:52,000 --> 00:25:53,000 I MEAN, IF I'M GONNA DO THIS, 647 00:25:54,000 --> 00:25:55,000 I MAY AS WELL STAND IN FRONT OF A DEPARTMENT STORE 648 00:25:55,000 --> 00:25:58,000 AND WAVE AT ALL THE ASSHOLES THAT COME BY. 649 00:25:58,000 --> 00:26:01,000 WHAT DO YOU CALL THOSE GUYS? 650 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:03,000 GREETERS. GREETERS. 651 00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000 GREETERS. 652 00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:05,000 THEN, YOU KNOW WHAT? 653 00:26:05,000 --> 00:26:08,000 WHY DON'T YOU WORK SOMEWHERE PART TIME IN HARDWARE? 654 00:26:08,000 --> 00:26:10,000 YOU KNOW, THEY GOT THE RENOVATION U.S.A. BY YOUR HOUSE. 655 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:11,000 YOU'D BE PERFECT FOR THAT. 656 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000 I'M TOO OLD. 657 00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:14,000 HUH. 658 00:26:14,000 --> 00:26:15,000 WHAT IS THIS? 659 00:26:15,000 --> 00:26:18,000 THE '78 YANKEES. 660 00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:20,000 HMM. HOLY SHIT, WHAT A TEAM. 661 00:26:20,000 --> 00:26:22,000 DAD, YOU'RE NOT TOO OLD. 662 00:26:22,000 --> 00:26:24,000 OKAY, I'M JUST TALKING PART TIME. 663 00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:25,000 YOU'RE WRONG, KID. 664 00:26:25,000 --> 00:26:27,000 I APPLIED AT THAT RENOVATION PLACE, 665 00:26:27,000 --> 00:26:29,000 AND THE GUY SAID I'M TOO OLD. 666 00:26:32,000 --> 00:26:34,000 WELL, THEY CAN'T -- THEY CAN'T DO THAT, ALL RIGHT? 667 00:26:34,000 --> 00:26:36,000 FOR ONE THING, THAT'S ILLEGAL. 668 00:26:36,000 --> 00:26:37,000 IT DOESN'T MATTER. 669 00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000 IT MATTERS, DAD. WHAT? 670 00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,000 YOU OWNED YOUR OWN HARDWARE STORE. 671 00:26:41,000 --> 00:26:43,000 YOU'RE AN EXPERT AT THIS. YOU CAN DO THIS. 672 00:26:43,000 --> 00:26:45,000 YOU DON'T FORCE YOURSELF ON PEOPLE. 673 00:26:45,000 --> 00:26:47,000 NOBODY WANTS TO BE AROUND A GUY LIKE THAT. 674 00:26:47,000 --> 00:26:49,000 AND THAT'S FINE. 675 00:26:49,000 --> 00:26:51,000 EVERYBODY HAS THEIR TIME. 676 00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:54,000 EVERYBODY GETS A TURN, AND MINE'S OVER. 677 00:26:54,000 --> 00:26:56,000 I'M OKAY WITH THAT. 678 00:26:59,000 --> 00:27:01,000 THURMAN MUNSON. 679 00:27:01,000 --> 00:27:06,000 YEAH, THEY DON'T MAKE 'EM LIKE THAT ANYMORE. 680 00:27:06,000 --> 00:27:07,000 REMEMBER HIM? 681 00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:13,000 YEAH. 682 00:27:17,000 --> 00:27:18,000 WHY ARE WE HERE? 683 00:27:18,000 --> 00:27:19,000 I THOUGHT WE WERE GOING TO LUNCH. 684 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,000 I JUST -- I GOT TO GRAB SOMETHING REAL QUICK, OKAY? 685 00:27:21,000 --> 00:27:23,000 JUST WAIT HERE. I'M GONNA BE RIGHT BACK. 686 00:27:23,000 --> 00:27:24,000 WHAT DO YOU NEED TO GET? 687 00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:26,000 I GOT TO GET A WRENCH. 688 00:27:26,000 --> 00:27:28,000 [ LAUGHS ] I GOT WRENCHES. 689 00:27:28,000 --> 00:27:30,000 BORROW ONE OF MINE. 690 00:27:30,000 --> 00:27:31,000 JUST DON'T LEAVE IT OUT. 691 00:27:31,000 --> 00:27:34,000 REMEMBER WHEN YOU LEFT MY BOX OUT ON THE LAWN 692 00:27:34,000 --> 00:27:35,000 AND IT GOT ALL RUSTY? 693 00:27:35,000 --> 00:27:36,000 I WAS 14. 694 00:27:36,000 --> 00:27:38,000 WELL, DOESN'T CHANGE THE FACT 695 00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,000 THAT IT HAPPENED, BOY. 696 00:27:40,000 --> 00:27:41,000 OKAY, JUST... 697 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:43,000 LET ME -- IT'S BETTER IF I GET MY OWN, ALL RIGHT? 698 00:27:43,000 --> 00:27:45,000 SO JUST WAIT RIGHT HERE. 699 00:27:45,000 --> 00:27:46,000 WHAT KIND OF WRENCH DO YOU NEED? 700 00:27:46,000 --> 00:27:48,000 UH, SOCKET, I THINK. IT'S NOT FOR ME. 701 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:51,000 I GOT A PLUMBING PROBLEM AT THE STORE, THAT'S ALL. 702 00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:53,000 SHOULDN'T TRY TO FIX IT YOURSELF. 703 00:27:53,000 --> 00:27:54,000 COME ON, HIRE A GUY. 704 00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:56,000 IT'S JUST A SMALL THING. A PIPE NEEDS TO BE TIGHTENED. 705 00:27:56,000 --> 00:27:58,000 HOW BIG IS THE PIPE? 706 00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:00,000 I DON'T KNOW, DAD. JUST GIVE ME A BREAK. 707 00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:02,000 ONE MINUTE, THAT'S IT. 708 00:28:02,000 --> 00:28:04,000 THAT PIPE IS GONNA GIVE YOU A BREAK. 709 00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:05,000 THAT'LL BE YOUR BREAK. 710 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:09,000 ANYWAY, YOUR BEST BET IS AN ADJUSTABLE PIPE WRENCH. 711 00:28:09,000 --> 00:28:12,000 OKAY, I GOT IT. GOT IT. ADJUSTABLE PIPE WRENCH. 712 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,000 AH, YOU'RE NOT GONNA GET THE RIGHT ONE. 713 00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:16,000 COME ON. 714 00:28:16,000 --> 00:28:19,000 [ TRUCK DOOR OPENS ] 715 00:28:21,000 --> 00:28:22,000 [ KNOCK ON DOOR ] 716 00:28:22,000 --> 00:28:25,000 YO. 717 00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:27,000 AH, THANK YOU VERY MUCH. 718 00:28:27,000 --> 00:28:29,000 BOY, YOU ARE ON A TEAR TODAY... 719 00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:31,000 TER. 720 00:28:31,000 --> 00:28:32,000 HEY, I MEANT TO ASK YOU. 721 00:28:32,000 --> 00:28:34,000 DID YOU GET YOUR LITTLE T. YET? 722 00:28:34,000 --> 00:28:36,000 YOU SHOULD BRING HIM AROUND FOR A DAY. 723 00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,000 IT'D BE A GREAT EXPERIENCE FOR A KID TO SEE THE REAL WORKFORCE. 724 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000 LITTLE T.? YEAH, YOUR LITTLE BROTHER. 725 00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:40,000 DID YOU GET ONE YET? 726 00:28:40,000 --> 00:28:43,000 I SENT OUT THAT REFERENCE FORM LIKE THREE WEEKS AGO. 727 00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:46,000 YEAH, NO, NO, DIDN'T GET HIM YET. 728 00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000 WHAT DID YOU DO? 729 00:28:54,000 --> 00:28:55,000 YOU MEAN IN THE BREAK ROOM? 730 00:28:55,000 --> 00:28:57,000 NOBODY'S NAME WAS ON THAT CHEESECAKE. 731 00:28:57,000 --> 00:29:01,000 NO, WHAT DID YOU SAY ABOUT ME TO THE BIG BROTHER PEOPLE? 732 00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:04,000 AW. YOU DID NOT GET A LITTLE T.? 733 00:29:04,000 --> 00:29:05,000 NO. 734 00:29:06,000 --> 00:29:07,000 I'M SORRY, MAN. SORRY? 735 00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:08,000 YEAH. 736 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:10,000 WHAT DID YOU SAY TO THEM? WHAT DID YOU DO? 737 00:29:10,000 --> 00:29:14,000 DID YOU WRITE STUFF ABOUT -- ABOUT WOMEN AND POT AND -- 738 00:29:14,000 --> 00:29:15,000 WHAT DID YOU WRITE? 739 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,000 HEY, OKAY, LET'S CALM DOWN, MAN. 740 00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:17,000 NO, WHAT DID YOU WRITE? 741 00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000 HEY! WHAT THE HELL'S WRONG WITH YOU? 742 00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000 YOU THINK I'M DENSE, TER? 743 00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:23,000 I WROTE YOU A GREAT RECOMMENDATION. 744 00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:25,000 WHAT ELSE WOULD I DO? 745 00:29:25,000 --> 00:29:27,000 I'VE WORKED IN THE CORPORATE WORLD FOR 27 YEARS. 746 00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,000 THE ONE THING I KNOW HOW TO DO 747 00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000 IS WRITE A GODDAMN RECOMMENDATION. 748 00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:34,000 READ IT. 749 00:29:36,000 --> 00:29:39,000 YOU SAID I WAS PUNCTUAL? 750 00:29:39,000 --> 00:29:41,000 YEAH, I LIED MY ASS OFF ON THAT THING. 751 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:43,000 I ALSO SAID YOU WERE CONSISTENTLY PLEASANT. 752 00:29:44,000 --> 00:29:45,000 AND THAT'S OBVIOUSLY NOT THE CASE. 753 00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:48,000 I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY, DAVE. 754 00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,000 I'M SORRY. I'M JUST KIND OF... 755 00:29:50,000 --> 00:29:51,000 [ SIGHS ] 756 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,000 LOOK, YOU ARE REALLY WOUND UP ABOUT THIS. 757 00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,000 YEAH. 758 00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000 YOU KNOW, I WOULD NEVER ADVISE AN EMPLOYEE 759 00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:57,000 TO BREAK THE LAW, 760 00:29:57,000 --> 00:29:59,000 BUT IF YOU'VE GOT SOME BUD ON YOU, 761 00:29:59,000 --> 00:30:01,000 I WOULD TAKE A BREAK, SPARK IT UP, 762 00:30:01,000 --> 00:30:03,000 AND FIND SOMEPLACE TO MELLOW OUT. 763 00:30:04,000 --> 00:30:06,000 RIGHT? 764 00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000 I DON'T KNOW. IF YOU THINK THAT'S THE RIGHT ONE, THEN OKAY. 765 00:30:12,000 --> 00:30:15,000 HEY, YOU KNOW, EXCUSE ME ONE SECOND, DAD. 766 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:16,000 WHERE YOU GOING NOW? 767 00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:18,000 JUST ONE SECOND. BE RIGHT BACK. 768 00:30:21,000 --> 00:30:23,000 EXCUSE ME, YOU'RE THE MANAGER? 769 00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:24,000 YES, SIR. GOOD. 770 00:30:24,000 --> 00:30:26,000 UM, SEE THAT GUY THERE 771 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:28,000 IN THE MIDDLE OF THE AISLE BY THE WRENCHES? 772 00:30:28,000 --> 00:30:30,000 YES. THAT'S MY DAD, ARTIE. 773 00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:32,000 I'M JOE. NICE TO MEET YOU. 774 00:30:32,000 --> 00:30:34,000 YEAH, YEAH, HOW YOU DOING? UM... 775 00:30:34,000 --> 00:30:36,000 DID HE INTERVIEW FOR A JOB WITH YOU? 776 00:30:36,000 --> 00:30:39,000 WELL, I REMEMBER HE USED TO COME IN HERE A LOT. 777 00:30:39,000 --> 00:30:40,000 HE'S A VERY NICE MAN. 778 00:30:40,000 --> 00:30:43,000 AND I REMEMBER ONE DAY HE GAVE US AN APPLICATION, 779 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,000 BUT WE JUST DON'T HAVE ANY ROOM FOR HIM. 780 00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:46,000 YEAH, I'M SORRY. 781 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,000 WE GET ABOUT 200 APPLICATIONS A WEEK, 782 00:30:48,000 --> 00:30:49,000 AND THERE'S NOT A LOT OF OPENINGS. 783 00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:51,000 LOOK, I DON'T WANT TO BE A PAIN IN THE ASS, 784 00:30:51,000 --> 00:30:52,000 BUT HE MUST HAVE TOLD YOU 785 00:30:52,000 --> 00:30:54,000 THAT HE OWNED HIS OWN HARDWARE STORE FOR 40 YEARS. 786 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 THAT'S GOT TO BE AN APPLICATION THAT GOES 787 00:30:55,000 --> 00:30:57,000 ON TOP OF THE PILE, NO? 788 00:30:57,000 --> 00:31:00,000 LISTEN, I HAVE NO DOUBT THAT ARTIE WOULD BE A GREAT ASSET. 789 00:31:00,000 --> 00:31:02,000 BUT THE OPENINGS WE HAVE 790 00:31:02,000 --> 00:31:04,000 REQUIRE A LOT OF CLIMBING UP AND DOWN LADDERS 791 00:31:04,000 --> 00:31:07,000 AND LEARNING NEW COMPUTER SYSTEMS. 792 00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,000 YEAH, YEAH, SO, EVERYBODY IN HERE WHO WORKS HERE 793 00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:12,000 DOES ALL THAT STUFF? 794 00:31:12,000 --> 00:31:15,000 I'M JUST SAYING, IT'S A VERY DEMANDING JOB. 795 00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,000 RIGHT. 796 00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:22,000 WHAT, IS THAT GUY CLIMBING A LOT OF LADDERS? 797 00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:23,000 SIR, I'VE ANSWERED YOUR QUESTIONS. 798 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:25,000 OKAY, I'M SORRY. I NEED TO GET TO WORK. 799 00:31:25,000 --> 00:31:26,000 YOU DIDN'T ANSWER THAT ONE. 800 00:31:26,000 --> 00:31:29,000 Man: DOES ANYBODY IN THIS STORE KNOW ANYTHING? 801 00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:31,000 Man #2: I THOUGHT YOU SAID AN ELECTRIC UNION. 802 00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:32,000 THAT'S AISLE 7. 803 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:34,000 EXCUSE ME. 804 00:31:35,000 --> 00:31:38,000 I SAID A DIELECTRIC UNION FOR CONNECTING PIPES. 805 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:39,000 WHY WOULD I BE IN THIS SECTION 806 00:31:39,000 --> 00:31:41,000 IF I WAS LOOKING FOR ELECTRONICS? 807 00:31:41,000 --> 00:31:43,000 OKAY, SO ELECTRONICS IS AISLE 14. 808 00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:45,000 OH, MY GOD. 809 00:31:45,000 --> 00:31:47,000 ARE YOU TRYING TO CONNECT AN OLD, GALVANIZED PIPE 810 00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:48,000 TO SOME NEW COPPER? 811 00:31:48,000 --> 00:31:49,000 YEAH. 812 00:31:49,000 --> 00:31:51,000 I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU YOUR BUSINESS, 813 00:31:51,000 --> 00:31:53,000 BUT THESE HOUSES OUT HERE HAVE BEEN THROUGH A QUAKE OR TWO. 814 00:31:54,000 --> 00:31:57,000 I BET THE OLD PIPE IS IN WHAT THEY CALL DYNAMIC EQUILIBRIUM. 815 00:31:57,000 --> 00:32:00,000 SO YOU THINK I'D JUST BE MOVING THAT LEAK AROUND? 816 00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:01,000 YEAH, UNLESS YOU WANT TO KEEP COMING BACK, 817 00:32:01,000 --> 00:32:02,000 YOU MIGHT AS WELL REPLACE THE WHOLE THING. 818 00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:04,000 THAT'S GONNA RAISE MY COST. 819 00:32:04,000 --> 00:32:06,000 YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE ARE. 820 00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:07,000 THEY ALREADY THINK I'M A CROOK. 821 00:32:07,000 --> 00:32:08,000 THEY'VE GOT THESE FITTINGS HERE 822 00:32:08,000 --> 00:32:10,000 WITH THE SOLDER AND THE FLUX ALREADY BUILT IN. 823 00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:14,000 AND, BABY, THAT IS GONNA SAVE YOU A BUCK OR TWO. 824 00:32:14,000 --> 00:32:15,000 REALLY? YEAH. 825 00:32:15,000 --> 00:32:17,000 YOU SHOULD STILL WIPE THE FLUX TO BE SAFE, THOUGH. 826 00:32:17,000 --> 00:32:19,000 DON'T LET THE COUPLING DO ALL THE WORK. 827 00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000 THANK YOU. YOU GOT IT. 828 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:23,000 TURNS OUT SOMEBODY IN THIS PLACE KNOWS SOMETHING. 829 00:32:23,000 --> 00:32:25,000 [ CHUCKLES ] 830 00:32:27,000 --> 00:32:29,000 THE KID'S PROBABLY GOOD WITH THE COMPUTER, THOUGH, RIGHT? 831 00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:39,000 SO, TWO DAYS A WEEK. THAT'S GREAT, HUH? 832 00:32:39,000 --> 00:32:42,000 YEAH, BACK TO THE GRIND. 833 00:32:47,000 --> 00:32:48,000 WHAT? 834 00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,000 I GOT TO GET A WASHER AND FIX THAT LEAKY SINK. 835 00:32:52,000 --> 00:32:53,000 [ SIGHS ] ALL RIGHT. 836 00:32:54,000 --> 00:32:57,000 BUT I THOUGHT THERE WAS A GUY THAT'S SUPPOSED TO DO IT. 837 00:32:57,000 --> 00:32:58,000 AH, THAT'S BULLSHIT. 838 00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000 ALL RIGHT. 839 00:33:05,000 --> 00:33:07,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 840 00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,000 I ALWAYS THOUGHT THAT JOE WAS THE BORING ONE. 841 00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:20,000 BUT APPARENTLY HE DOES ALL THE TALKING. 842 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:23,000 YEAH, BUT... 843 00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:25,000 WHO KNOWS WHAT HE'S TALKING ABOUT HALF THE TIME? 844 00:33:25,000 --> 00:33:27,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 845 00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:31,000 WHAT HAPPENED WITH THAT WHOLE, UM, BIG BROTHER THING? 846 00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000 NOT GONNA HAPPEN. 847 00:33:34,000 --> 00:33:36,000 UH-HUH. 848 00:33:36,000 --> 00:33:39,000 SO, DO THEY HAVE A "BIG HALF-BROTHER" PROGRAM, 849 00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000 YOU KNOW, IF THE REGULAR PROGRAM IS TOO MUCH OF A COMMITMENT? 850 00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:45,000 HEY, YOU COULD ALWAYS, UH, JUST TIMESHARE A KID. 851 00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:51,000 OH, I GUESS JOE DOES ALL THE LAUGHING AROUND HERE, TOO. 852 00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:53,000 THEY REJECTED ME. 853 00:33:53,000 --> 00:33:55,000 REALLY? 854 00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,000 DO YOU THINK IT WAS BECAUSE MAYBE THEY SMELLED, UM, 855 00:33:59,000 --> 00:34:01,000 YOU KNOW? 856 00:34:02,000 --> 00:34:03,000 HOW MUCH DO PEOPLE THINK I SMOKE? 857 00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:04,000 HOLY SHIT! 858 00:34:05,000 --> 00:34:08,000 I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY REJECTED ME, BUT THEY DID, OKAY? 859 00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:10,000 THEY'RE JERKS, I GUESS! OR I AM! 860 00:34:10,000 --> 00:34:12,000 OKAY. LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 861 00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000 AM I A BAD GUY? 862 00:34:14,000 --> 00:34:16,000 I MEAN, I KNOW YOU GUYS THINK THAT I'M FLAKY 863 00:34:16,000 --> 00:34:19,000 AND I CAN'T GET MY LIFE TOGETHER AND I CAN'T COMMIT TO WOMEN 864 00:34:19,000 --> 00:34:22,000 AND I'M, YOU KNOW, PETER PAN OR WHATEVER THE HELL, 865 00:34:22,000 --> 00:34:24,000 BUT AM I A BAD GUY? 866 00:34:24,000 --> 00:34:26,000 AN ACTUAL BAD GUY? 867 00:34:28,000 --> 00:34:31,000 I MEAN, WHAT IS IT ABOUT ME THAT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH 868 00:34:31,000 --> 00:34:34,000 TO TAKE CARE OF A KID WHO'S GOT NOBODY? 869 00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:39,000 DUDE, YOU'RE A GREAT GUY. 870 00:34:39,000 --> 00:34:42,000 AND, YEAH, I GIVE YOU A LOT OF SHIT ABOUT YOUR LIFE, 871 00:34:42,000 --> 00:34:44,000 BUT SOMEDAY I ACTUALLY THINK 872 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:46,000 YOU'RE GONNA MAKE A GREAT FATHER. 873 00:34:48,000 --> 00:34:50,000 THANKS. 874 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:52,000 WHEN THE HELL THAT DAY'S GONNA BE IS ANYBODY'S GUESS. 875 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:53,000 WELL, MAYBE I SHOULDN'T HAVE SAID FATHER. 876 00:34:53,000 --> 00:34:56,000 ACTUALLY, YOU'LL MAKE A REALLY COOL GRANDFATHER. 877 00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:57,000 SERIOUSLY, YOU WANT A KID THAT BAD, TAKE MINE. 878 00:34:57,000 --> 00:34:58,000 GO TAKE THEM RIGHT NOW. 879 00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,000 START A SUMMER CAMP, BECAUSE THAT SHIT COSTS FIVE GRAND. 880 00:35:04,000 --> 00:35:06,000 WE GOOD? 881 00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:11,000 [ CLEARS THROAT ] 882 00:35:11,000 --> 00:35:13,000 I DIDN'T EVEN MENTION THAT YOU'RE A TALENTED ACTOR. 883 00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:14,000 [ SCOFFS ] 884 00:35:14,000 --> 00:35:17,000 WHAT? NO, NO, MAN. 885 00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,000 I'M SAYING I HAVE A NEW APPRECIATION FOR WHAT YOU DO. 886 00:35:20,000 --> 00:35:21,000 YOU REMEMBER THAT COMMERCIAL 887 00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:22,000 THAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT THE OTHER DAY? 888 00:35:22,000 --> 00:35:25,000 WE'RE RESHOOTING THAT SHIT, AND I GOT TO BE IN IT. 889 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,000 CONGRATULATIONS. 890 00:35:26,000 --> 00:35:28,000 NO, NOT CONGRATULATIONS. 891 00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:31,000 I HATE THAT SHIT, MAN. IT SCARES ME TO DEATH. 892 00:35:31,000 --> 00:35:32,000 IT'S NO BIG DEAL. WHAT -- 893 00:35:32,000 --> 00:35:33,000 FOR YOU, MAYBE. 894 00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:36,000 FOR ME? 895 00:35:36,000 --> 00:35:38,000 I -- 896 00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:40,000 I-I DON'T LIKE CAMERAS. 897 00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:47,000 LOOK AT IT THIS WAY. 898 00:35:47,000 --> 00:35:50,000 ACTING IS PRETENDING. 899 00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:53,000 AND DON'T YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT HOW YOU HAVE TO PRETEND 900 00:35:53,000 --> 00:35:58,000 TO BE AN INTERNET MANAGER OR SALES ASSOCIATE OR WHATEVER, 901 00:35:58,000 --> 00:35:59,000 YOU KNOW, TO GET OVER ON PEOPLE? 902 00:36:00,000 --> 00:36:02,000 I WOULDN'T SAY, "GET OVER ON PEOPLE," BUT I'M WITH YOU. 903 00:36:02,000 --> 00:36:04,000 SO YOU'RE ALREADY AN ACTOR. 904 00:36:04,000 --> 00:36:07,000 YOU PLAY A BUNCH OF CHARACTERS IN ORDER TO SELL CARS. 905 00:36:07,000 --> 00:36:08,000 IT'S ACTING. 906 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,000 YOU DO IT UNDER PRESSURE 907 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,000 IN FRONT OF LOTS OF PEOPLE EVERY DAY. 908 00:36:11,000 --> 00:36:14,000 SO JUST, YOU KNOW... 909 00:36:14,000 --> 00:36:15,000 DO WHAT YOU DO. 910 00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,000 BE YOURSELF. 911 00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000 SELL A CAR. 912 00:36:22,000 --> 00:36:24,000 Man: THIS IS WHAT I WANT TO DO. RIGHT HERE. 913 00:36:24,000 --> 00:36:26,000 GOOD. OKAY. 914 00:36:29,000 --> 00:36:32,000 Director: ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE, LET'S CLEAR. 915 00:36:35,000 --> 00:36:36,000 [ SLATE CLAPS ] 916 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,000 AND...ACTION. 917 00:36:39,000 --> 00:36:42,000 Senior: DO YOU NEED A NEW CAR OR HAVE A TRADE-IN? 918 00:36:42,000 --> 00:36:44,000 THE TIME TO BUY IS RIGHT NOW. 919 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000 [ Rushed, unclear speech ] IT'S THE THOREAU 920 00:36:44,000 --> 00:36:46,000 SPRING SALES EVENT. 921 00:36:46,000 --> 00:36:47,000 APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY SAVINGS. 922 00:36:47,000 --> 00:36:49,000 CUT! 923 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:54,000 SLOWER, SON. 924 00:36:54,000 --> 00:36:56,000 AND LOUDER SO ALL THE PEOPLE IN TV LAND CAN HEAR YOU. 925 00:36:56,000 --> 00:36:58,000 OKAY, GUYS. 926 00:36:59,000 --> 00:37:01,000 BACK TO ONE. 927 00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,000 AND...ACTION. 928 00:37:03,000 --> 00:37:05,000 DO YOU NEED A NEW CAR OR HAVE A TRADE-IN? 929 00:37:05,000 --> 00:37:07,000 THE TIME TO BUY IS RIGHT NOW. 930 00:37:07,000 --> 00:37:08,000 IT'S THE THOREAU SPRING SALES EVENT. 931 00:37:08,000 --> 00:37:10,000 APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY SAVINGS. 932 00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000 CUT! 933 00:37:12,000 --> 00:37:13,000 WOW! 934 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:15,000 THAT'S WEIRD, YOU KNOW? 935 00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,000 SUDDENLY YOU'RE JUST AWARE OF THE WEIGHT 936 00:37:17,000 --> 00:37:18,000 OF EVERY WORD COMING OUT OF YOUR MOUTH. 937 00:37:18,000 --> 00:37:20,000 JUST RELAX. YEAH. 938 00:37:20,000 --> 00:37:22,000 YEAH, OF COURSE. IT JUST -- 939 00:37:22,000 --> 00:37:24,000 JUST BE MYSELF AND SELL A CAR, RIGHT? 940 00:37:26,000 --> 00:37:27,000 RIGHT. RIGHT. 941 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,000 AND...ACTION! 942 00:37:31,000 --> 00:37:32,000 IT'S THE THOREAU SPRING SALES EVENT. 943 00:37:32,000 --> 00:37:34,000 APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY SAVINGS. 944 00:37:34,000 --> 00:37:35,000 SLOWER! 945 00:37:35,000 --> 00:37:36,000 I THINK THE PROBLEM IS 946 00:37:36,000 --> 00:37:38,000 THE SPEED OF MY WORDS 947 00:37:38,000 --> 00:37:40,000 IS NOT WORKING WITH THE SPEED OF HOW I'M WALKING. 948 00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,000 IT'S...THE...THOREAU... SPRING...SALES...EVENT. 949 00:37:43,000 --> 00:37:45,000 CUT! 950 00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,000 WHAT ABOUT IF WE USE CUE CARDS OR SOMETHING? 951 00:37:47,000 --> 00:37:48,000 OR LIKE A TelePrompTer OR SOMETHING 952 00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:51,000 LIKE THEY USE ON THE WEATHER OR THE NEWS OR SOMETHING? 953 00:37:51,000 --> 00:37:52,000 DO YOU NEED A NEW CAR OR HAVE A TRADE-IN? 954 00:37:53,000 --> 00:37:54,000 THE TIME -- OH. 955 00:37:54,000 --> 00:37:56,000 SHIT. SORRY. 956 00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:59,000 [ GRUNTING ] 957 00:37:59,000 --> 00:38:00,000 READY. 958 00:38:04,000 --> 00:38:05,000 CUT! 959 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,000 I WAS WAITING FOR THE CAMERA TO MOVE. 960 00:38:07,000 --> 00:38:09,000 DO I MOVE FIRST? 961 00:38:09,000 --> 00:38:10,000 SORRY. 962 00:38:10,000 --> 00:38:11,000 SORRY. 963 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,000 Senior: THE TIME TO BUY IS RIGHT NOW. 964 00:38:11,000 --> 00:38:14,000 [ THUD ] 965 00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:19,000 LIKE THIS. 966 00:38:19,000 --> 00:38:22,000 NOW, IF MARY POPPINS CAN DO IT, YOU CAN DO IT. 967 00:38:22,000 --> 00:38:24,000 MAY... 968 00:38:25,000 --> 00:38:28,000 APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY -- 969 00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,000 I CAN DO IT PERFECTLY NOW. 970 00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,000 IT'S JUST WHEN THE CAMERA'S ON, I JUST -- 971 00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:35,000 OW. 972 00:38:35,000 --> 00:38:37,000 WAIT, SOMETHING'S WRONG. 973 00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:40,000 [ SLATE CLAPS ] 974 00:38:40,000 --> 00:38:41,000 ACTION. 975 00:38:41,000 --> 00:38:43,000 DO YOU NEED A NEW CAR OR HAVE A TRADE-IN? 976 00:38:43,000 --> 00:38:45,000 THE TIME TO BUY IS RIGHT NOW. 977 00:38:45,000 --> 00:38:47,000 IT'S THE THOREAU SPRING SALES EVENT. 978 00:38:47,000 --> 00:38:51,000 APRIL SHOWERS BRING MAY SAVINGS. 979 00:38:53,000 --> 00:38:55,000 UMBRELLA. 980 00:38:56,000 --> 00:38:58,000 CUT! 981 00:39:02,000 --> 00:39:03,000 SORRY, I -- 982 00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:05,000 I WAS THINKING, "WOW, I DID THAT PERFECTLY," 983 00:39:05,000 --> 00:39:09,000 AND THE THE WHOLE UMBRELLA THING JUST WENT OUT OF MY HEAD. 984 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,000 YOU KNOW WHAT? I THINK WE ALL OUGHT TO JUST GO 985 00:39:09,000 --> 00:39:11,000 TO LUNCH AND COME BACK TO THIS. 986 00:39:11,000 --> 00:39:13,000 WE STILL GOT TO GET HIM TO DO 987 00:39:13,000 --> 00:39:14,000 THE LINE ABOUT THE CHEVY FACEBOOK PAGE. 988 00:39:14,000 --> 00:39:15,000 FACEBOOK PAGE? 989 00:39:15,000 --> 00:39:17,000 HE CAN'T EVEN OPEN A DAMN UMBRELLA. 990 00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:18,000 I'M SORRY, EVERYBODY. 991 00:39:18,000 --> 00:39:20,000 I'M JUST, YOU KNOW, TRYING TO BE MYSELF. 992 00:39:20,000 --> 00:39:22,000 WELL, MAYBE YOU BETTER BE SOMEBODY ELSE, 993 00:39:22,000 --> 00:39:23,000 'CAUSE THAT AIN'T WORKING. 994 00:39:23,000 --> 00:39:26,000 LOOK, DADDY, WHY DON'T WE JUST STOP THIS, YOU KNOW? 995 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:28,000 I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS. JUST USE THE MARCUS COMMERCIAL. 996 00:39:28,000 --> 00:39:31,000 WELL, SON, I AGREE. 997 00:39:31,000 --> 00:39:33,000 BUT WE'VE TWO VERY INTELLIGENT WOMEN IN OUR LIVES 998 00:39:33,000 --> 00:39:36,000 WHO'VE COME TO THE SAME STUPID CONCLUSION. 999 00:39:36,000 --> 00:39:38,000 THAT'S TRUE. 1000 00:39:40,000 --> 00:39:42,000 I MEAN, IT IS JUST THEM, RIGHT? 1001 00:39:43,000 --> 00:39:44,000 I MEAN, YOU DON'T THINK 1002 00:39:44,000 --> 00:39:47,000 THAT I WAS TRYING TO PASS MARCUS OFF AS BEING YOU. 1003 00:39:49,000 --> 00:39:51,000 NO, DADDY, WE'RE COOL. 1004 00:39:51,000 --> 00:39:53,000 GOOD. GOOD. 1005 00:39:53,000 --> 00:39:54,000 YEAH. 1006 00:39:54,000 --> 00:39:57,000 I STILL DON'T SEE HOW PEOPLE GET THAT IMPRESSION. 1007 00:39:57,000 --> 00:39:59,000 I MEAN, I PUT MY ARM AROUND CUSTOMERS ALL THE TIME. 1008 00:39:59,000 --> 00:40:02,000 I'M A VERY WARM PERSON. 1009 00:40:02,000 --> 00:40:03,000 I KNOW. 1010 00:40:03,000 --> 00:40:05,000 OKAY, SO, NOW, 1011 00:40:05,000 --> 00:40:07,000 MARCUS IS NOT MY SON, 1012 00:40:07,000 --> 00:40:08,000 BUT HE CAN WALK AND TALK 1013 00:40:08,000 --> 00:40:11,000 WITHOUT SOUNDING LIKE HE'S GOT A MOUTHFUL OF CHEESE BALLS. 1014 00:40:11,000 --> 00:40:14,000 SO LET'S YOU AND ME PUT OUR HEADS TOGETHER 1015 00:40:14,000 --> 00:40:16,000 AND FIGURE SOMETHING OUT. 1016 00:40:16,000 --> 00:40:17,000 YEAH. 1017 00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:20,000 ALL RIGHT. SO... 1018 00:40:20,000 --> 00:40:22,000 [ WHISTLES ] 1019 00:40:30,000 --> 00:40:32,000 [ ALARM CLOCK BUZZES ] 1020 00:40:34,000 --> 00:40:37,000 WHAT'D YOU SET THE ALARM FOR? IT'S SUNDAY. 1021 00:40:37,000 --> 00:40:39,000 YES, IT IS. 8:23. 1022 00:40:39,000 --> 00:40:41,000 TIME FOR THE PREMIERE OF THE NEW COMMERCIAL. 1023 00:40:41,000 --> 00:40:43,000 ...A NEW CAR OR HAVE A TRADE-IN? 1024 00:40:43,000 --> 00:40:45,000 THE TIME TO BUY IS RIGHT NOW. 1025 00:40:45,000 --> 00:40:47,000 Marcus: IT'S THE THOREAU SPRING SALES EVENT. 1026 00:40:47,000 --> 00:40:49,000 BUT APRIL SHOWERS... [ THUNDER CRASHES ] 1027 00:40:51,000 --> 00:40:53,000 BRING MAY SAVINGS. 1028 00:40:53,000 --> 00:40:54,000 HONEY, WHAT -- I MEAN -- 1029 00:40:54,000 --> 00:40:55,000 Shh. HERE IT COMES. HERE IT COMES. 1030 00:40:55,000 --> 00:40:56,000 HERE IT COMES. MALIBUS... 1031 00:40:56,000 --> 00:40:58,000 CAMAROS. MAY THE BEST CAR WIN! 1032 00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:01,000 BUT ONE THING YOU CAN COUNT ON HERE AT THOREAU CHEVROLET. 1033 00:41:01,000 --> 00:41:03,000 IN TODAY'S ECONOMY, 1034 00:41:03,000 --> 00:41:04,000 YOUR FAMILY IS GOING THROUGH HARD TIMES. 1035 00:41:04,000 --> 00:41:06,000 AND OUR FAMILY IS HERE TO HELP. 1036 00:41:06,000 --> 00:41:08,000 RIGHT, SON? 1037 00:41:08,000 --> 00:41:10,000 THOREAU CHEVROLET IN ENCINO. 1038 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,000 ALL-STAR CARS FOR ALL-STAR CUSTOMERS. 1039 00:41:10,000 --> 00:41:12,000 [ BOTH LAUGH ] 1040 00:41:13,000 --> 00:41:14,000 CONGRATULATIONS, HONEY. 1041 00:41:14,000 --> 00:41:16,000 OH, THANK YOU. 1042 00:41:16,000 --> 00:41:19,000 AHH. 1043 00:41:19,000 --> 00:41:22,000 NOW... 1044 00:41:22,000 --> 00:41:24,000 WHO WANTS TO GET SEXY WITH A TELEVISION STAR? 1045 00:41:24,000 --> 00:41:28,000 I WOULD, BUT WE HAVE THREE ANTI-SEX MACHINES. 1046 00:41:28,000 --> 00:41:30,000 NO, NO, THE BABY'S ASLEEP, 1047 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:32,000 AND THE BOYS ARE WITH THEIR UNCLE. 1048 00:41:32,000 --> 00:41:33,000 UNCLE? 1049 00:41:33,000 --> 00:41:35,000 Terry: HEY, LISTEN. 1050 00:41:35,000 --> 00:41:37,000 [ WHISTLING ] [ BOTH LAUGH ] 1051 00:41:37,000 --> 00:41:38,000 WAH-AH-AH. 1052 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,000 CAN I TAKE THESE GLASSES OFF NOW, GUYS? 1053 00:41:39,000 --> 00:41:41,000 Both: YEAH. 1054 00:41:41,000 --> 00:41:44,000 EVERYTHING STILL LOOKS LIKE IT'S 3-D OUT HERE, HUH? 1055 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,000 THAT WAS A GOOD MOVIE, WASN'T IT? 1056 00:41:44,000 --> 00:41:46,000 YEAH. 1057 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000 YOU GUYS LIKE IT? YEAH. 1058 00:41:47,000 --> 00:41:48,000 YEAH. 1059 00:41:48,000 --> 00:41:49,000 YEAH, I LIKED IT, TOO. 1060 00:41:49,000 --> 00:41:53,000 AM I -- LOOK AT ME. AM I 3-D OR 4-D OR ANYTHING? 1061 00:41:53,000 --> 00:41:54,000 NO? NO. 1062 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:56,000 ALL RIGHT, LOOK, 1063 00:41:56,000 --> 00:41:57,000 WE'RE GONNA MAKE ONE MORE STOP BEFORE WE GO HOME, OKAY? 1064 00:41:58,000 --> 00:41:59,000 OKAY. OKAY. 1065 00:42:01,000 --> 00:42:04,000 [ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ] 1066 00:42:07,000 --> 00:42:08,000 HI. HI. 1067 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,000 JUST STOPPING BY. HI. 1068 00:42:10,000 --> 00:42:11,000 CRAZY THING... 1069 00:42:11,000 --> 00:42:13,000 I FOUND THAT PEN OF YOURS THAT I LEFT WITH, 1070 00:42:13,000 --> 00:42:16,000 AND IT WAS JUST LEAVING A BAD TASTE IN MY MOUTH. 1071 00:42:16,000 --> 00:42:18,000 SO I REALLY WANTED TO RETURN IT. 1072 00:42:18,000 --> 00:42:19,000 THANK YOU. 1073 00:42:19,000 --> 00:42:22,000 GUYS, WANT TO GO GET SOME PIZZA? 1074 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,000 YEAH. YEAH. 1075 00:42:22,000 --> 00:42:23,000 YEAH? ALL RIGHT. 1076 00:42:23,000 --> 00:42:26,000 I'M GONNA GET A SODA. IT'S MY SECOND ONE. 1077 00:42:26,000 --> 00:42:27,000 OW! 1078 00:42:27,000 --> 00:42:29,000 OH! 74718

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