Original subtitles

[ SPLASHING ]

HEY.

HEY. SPRINKLER'S BUSTED AGAIN.

WHAT? THE THING.

OH. LOOK AT THAT.

WELL, I WAS WONDERING WHY IT WAS TURNING BROWN.

YEAH, THE PLASTIC ONES -- THEY ALWAYS BREAK,

AND THEN THE WHOLE SYSTEM -- IT'S GONNA GO NUTS ON YOU.

YOU KNOW, I'LL PICK UP A COUPLE PARTS. I'LL

COME BY AND FIX IT.

NO, IT'S ALL RIGHT. I KNOW HOW BUSY YOU ARE.

IT'S 10 MINUTES.

RIGHT. WELL, I'LL GET A HANDYMAN, THEN.

NO. WHY A HANDYMAN? I'LL COME ON A SATURDAY --

JOE, I DIDN'T COME OUT HERE TO TALK ABOUT THE SPRINKLERS!

OKAY.

[ SIGHS ] I'M SORRY.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT. GO AHEAD. WHAT'S GOING ON?

IT'S LUCY.

THERE'S A BOY WHO'S BEEN BOTHERING HER.

WHO? THE KID WITH THE HAIR?

NO, A DIFFERENT ONE -- TRAVIS.

TRAVIS?

YEAH, I THOUGHT HE WAS NICE, BUT I GUESS IT DIDN'T WORK OUT,

AND NOW HE KEEPS CALLING HER AND TEXTING AND...

OF COURSE, SHE WON'T SAY ANYTHING TO ME,

BUT, YOU KNOW, YOU HEAR ABOUT THESE KIDS THESE DAYS

WHO GO OFF THE DEEP END, AND...

OKAY. ALL RIGHT. YEAH.

BUT, I MEAN, COME ON. THEY'RE 17.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS. IT'S JUST SOME DRAMA.

NO. JOE, JOE, THIS FEELS REALLY AGGRESSIVE TO ME, OKAY?

OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

TRAVIS.

NOT CRAZY ABOUT THE NAME.

OH, MY GOD, JOE.

ANYWAY, I'LL JUST TALK TO HER. I'LL ASK HER.

NO! OH, MY GOD, NO! THAT WOULD MAKE HER CLAM UP EVEN MORE.

ALL RIGHT, I WON'T TALK TO HER.

YEAH, WELL, JUST PAY ATTENTION TO HER

AND, YOU KNOW, LET HER KNOW YOU'RE THERE FOR HER,

THAT WE'RE THERE FOR HER.

JUST MONITOR THE SITUATION, OKAY? AND I'LL DO THE SAME.

Lucy: ALBERT! COME ON! OKAY? JUST --

ALL RIGHT. I GOT IT.

ALL RIGHT. THANKS. DON'T WORRY.

Don't bring anything up unless she says something to you first.

I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT. I GOT IT.

Okay. Thanks. All right.

And just a warning -- she's been really moody.

BYE, MOM.

HAVE A GREAT DAY, YOU GUYS!

BYE! [ CHUCKLES ]

HI. YOUR HAIR LOOKS NICE.

NO, IT DOESN'T.

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN ♪

♪ WILL I DIG THE SAME THINGS THAT TURN ME ON AS A KID? ♪

♪ WILL I JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ WILL I STILL JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN? ♪

[ HIGH-PITCHED WHINING ]

[ SNORING LIGHTLY ]

[ WHINING STOPS ]

[ SNORTS ]

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

[ GROANING ]

[ SIGHS ]

300 BUCKS, MY ASS.

COME ON!

[ SIGHS ]

[ ALARM BEEPING ]

[ BEEPING STOPS ]

[ SMOOCHES ]

DID YOU BREAK MY WAVE MACHINE?

NO. I SET IT.

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

I THOUGHT IT ONLY MADE RAINFOREST SOUNDS.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THOSE MAKE YOU GO TO SLEEP.

THEY DON'T WAKE YOU UP.

EXACTLY.

[ SIGHS ]

THIS IS A MUCH BETTER WAY TO WAKE UP.

OH. NO, SORRY, PAL.

NOPE. I'VE GOT TO GO TO WORK.

YOU GOT TIME.

NO. DON'T YOU START AT 10:00?

UH, 10:00, 11:00.

MM...TOMORROW.

OH, MUST BE NICE.

MMM-HMM.

HMM. [ GRUNTS ]

DO YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER?

SURE.

WHAT TIME?

I DON'T KNOW. UH...

WHY DON'T I JUST SWING BY YOUR WORK LATER ON

AND WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT?

OKAY. I GET OFF AT 6:00.

YEAH, WE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

OKAY.

I'M DONE AT 6:00.

[ RAINFOREST SOUNDS PLAY ]

I FIXED IT.

Michael: GOT YOU! GOT YOU!

Jamie: NO, YOU DIDN'T! YOU GOT MY SHIRT!

BOYS!

SIT DOWN, OR I WILL EAT THIS BREAKFAST MYSELF!

[ BOYS LAUGHING ]

DID YOU, UH, BLOW A FUSE OR SOMETHING?

MNH-MNH. THE ELECTRICIANS ARE RUNNING POWER TO THE ADDITION.

AND APPARENTLY, TO DO THAT,

THEY HAD TO DISCONNECT THE WHOLE HOUSE FROM THE MAIN LINE.

COME ON.

WAIT -- THE ADDITION IS GETTING POWER?

AS WE SPEAK.

THEY SAID IT SHOULDN'T TAKE MORE THAN AN HOUR.

SWEETIE, DO YOU KNOW WHAT THIS MEANS?

HMM?

WE ARE ALMOST DONE.

DONE LIKE DONE DONE?

LIKE DONE DONE.

I MEAN, THEY STILL HAVE THINGS TO DO ON THEIR LIST,

BUT YEAH.

DONE DONE.

YOU KNOW, I NEVER THOUGHT WE'D SEE THIS DAY.

[ LAUGHS ]

COME ON!

COULD YOU PICK UP A MOVIE FOR THE BOYS ON YOUR

WAY HOME FROM WORK?

I'M ABOUT TO STRANGLE THOSE TWO.

YEAH, YEAH. I'LL GIVE YOU A --

UH, WHERE ARE THEY GOING?

SUPPLIES, I GUESS.

[ TRUCK DOOR SLAMS ]

Powers: MR. THOREAU?

YEAH?

BRENT POWERS -- DEPARTMENT OF BUILDING AND SAFETY.

AND THIS IS OFFICER KEARNS WITH THE COUNTY SHERIFF'S OFFICE.

AND, UH, W-WHAT CAN WE DO FOR YOU GENTLEMEN?

WELL, SIR, I'M AFRAID WE'RE HERE TO SHUT

YOUR CONSTRUCTION DOWN.

EXCUSE ME?

WELL, YOU'RE BUILDING WITHOUT A PERMIT, MR. THOREAU.

OUR OFFICE HAS RED-TAGGED THIS SITE

FOUR TIMES IN THE LAST MONTH

TO ALERT YOU THAT YOU WERE NOT IN COMPLIANCE.

YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS?

NO! NO! GUNTHER DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING ABOUT RED TAGS.

YEAH, OUR CONTRACTOR NEVER SAID ANYTHING TO US

ABOUT ANY PROBLEMS.

[ CLICKS TONGUE ] OH.

WHAT? WHAT'S THAT?

WELL, SOMETIMES YOUR LESS-SCRUPULOUS CONTRACTORS

WILL SIMPLY RIP THE TAGS DOWN WITHOUT ALERTING THE HOMEOWNER.

THEN THEY'LL HIT YOU UP WITH AS MANY "SURPRISE

BILLS" AS THEY CAN

BEFORE WE SHOW UP TO SHUT THE SITE DOWN.

THEN THEY JUST DISAPPEAR.

NO, THIS IS NOT HAPPENING.

SO, UH, WHAT -- WHAT DO WE DO NOW?

WELL, ALL WORK HAS TO STOP

UNTIL AN INSPECTOR CAN DETERMINE THE EXTENT OF THE VIOLATIONS.

AND THEN WHAT HAPPENS?

WELL, WORST-CASE SCENARIO -- THE COUNTY COULD DEMAND

THAT YOU TEAR DOWN ANY WORK THAT WAS DONE

AND REBUILD WITH THE PROPER PERMITS.

ALL OF IT?

NO, NO -- JUST THE NEW CONSTRUCTION.

NO, THAT'S ALL OF IT.

OH.

UH...THEN YES.

THANK YOU.

HAVE A GOOD DAY.

HEY, MARIA. HEY.

OH.

WE NEED, UM, MORE...MILLER.

MILLER?

YOU KNOW, THE SILVER BALLOONS.

OH, MYLAR. IT'S PRONOUNCED "MY-LAR."

WE'RE OUT OF IT.

ALL RIGHT.

HEY, MARIA...

YOU AND, UM...

YOU AND -- AND -- WHAT'S-HER-NAME,

YOU GUYS -- YOU BROKE UP, RIGHT?

KAITLYN.

YEAH.

I'M JUST -- THE ONLY REASON I'M BRINGING IT UP

IS 'CAUSE MY DAUGHTER, LUCY, JUST BROKE UP WITH THIS KID,

AND HE'S TAKING IT KIND OF HARD, YOU KNOW,

AND -- I DON'T KNOW.

DID -- DID KAITLYN EVER GET...CLINGY?

SHE EVER, LIKE, COULDN'T LET GO?

KAITLYN BROKE UP WITH ME.

OH.

I MEAN, NOT THAT -- NOT THAT --

IT'S DIFFERENT, THOUGH, RIGHT?

I MEAN, IT PROBABLY IS WAY DIFFERENT

'CAUSE YOU GUYS ARE BOTH...

YOU'RE A GIRL. SHE'S A GIRL. IT'S DIFFERENT, RIGHT?

IT'S TOTALLY DIFFERENT.

ALL RIGHT.

MY COUSIN -- SHE BROKE UP WITH SOME GUY,

AND HE CAME TO HER HOUSE AND KILLED HER GUINEA PIG.

WHOA!

LIKE, UH, "FATAL ATTRACTION" -- THE RABBIT.

NO, IT WASN'T A RABBIT.

IT WAS A GUINEA PIG.

YEAH. YEAH, NO, I KNOW, BUT...

YOU SAW "FATAL ATTRACTION"?

UH-HUH.

YEAH.

YEAH, BUT... THIS WAS A GUINEA PIG.

ANYWAY, I HAD A --

I BROKE UP WITH A GIRL IN 6th GRADE,

AND SHE, UH...

IF I CAN REMEMBER THE QUOTE --

SHE TOLD EVERYBODY I HAD NO WIENER.

I'D RATHER SHE KILLED MY RABBIT. [ CHUCKLES ]

I DON'T MEAN TO MAKE FUN.

I'M JUST -- I'M JUST TRYING TO LIGHTEN IT UP.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GET SOME MYLAR.

2, 2, 1, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0.

[ MARKER CLATTERS ]

SO, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU GUYS?

WHY DO I KEEP SEEING CUSTOMERS WALKING OUT OF MY SHOWROOM?

DON'T START TELLING ME ANYTHING ABOUT THE ECONOMY.

IN 1979, DURING THE ARABIAN OPEC BULLSHIT,

I SOLD MORE CARS THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THIS CITY.

AND DO YOU KNOW HOW?

BECAUSE I COULD ALWAYS, ALWAYS FIND "THE KEY."

WHEN YOU'VE GOT AN UP,

YOU DON'T JUST SHOW HIM THE FLOOR MODEL

AND ASK ABOUT A TRADE-IN.

HELL NO. YOU FIND THE KEY.

YOU GET INSIDE OF HIS BRAIN.

YOU KNOW ALL ABOUT HIS OLD LADY NAGGING HIM,

ABOUT HOW HE'S NOSE-DEEP IN CRAP-FILLED DIAPERS.

YOU WORK THE MAN. YOU FIND THE KEY.

YOU GOT IT?

WHAT IF THE GUY'S NOT MARRIED?

HEY, WHAT'S GOING ON?

STILL NO POWER AT THE HOUSE.

STILL?

I HAVE LEFT FIVE MESSAGES FOR GUNTHER.

I'LL -- I'LL MAKE SOME CALLS TO THE BILLING OFFICE DOWNTOWN,

AND, UM, IF THE POWER'S NOT ON BY TONIGHT, UH,

WE'LL JUST, UH, CHECK INTO A HOTEL.

WE CAN'T BE SPENDING MONEY ON HOTELS --

NOT IF WE MIGHT HAVE TO TEAR DOWN THE HOUSE.

WHAT ELSE ARE WE GONNA DO?

Michael: GRANDPA!

WHO LET THESE RUGRATS IN HERE?

[ LAUGHS ]

WE'RE GOING TO STAY AT YOUR HOUSE, GRANDPA!

SAYS WHO?

MOMMY.

OH. [ CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY ] HI, GUYS.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND THAT MY HOME HAS NO POWER?

BECAUSE MY CONTRACTOR'S AN ASSHOLE, THAT'S WHY!

NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO!

I WILL NOT! I WILL NOT CHANGE MY TONE!

WHY DON'T YOU CHANGE -- WHY DON'T YOU CHANGE

AND ACTUALLY DO SOMETHING THAT'S HELPFUL?

NO, NO, DON'T PUT ME ON HOLD.

AAAAARGH!

YOU KNOW, YOU WATCH HIM MOVE LIKE THAT,

AND IT'S HARD TO BELIEVE HE'S THE CHILD OF A

PROFESSIONAL ATHLETE.

[ SHOUTING ] MORE CONTRACTOR STUFF?

I GUESS. I DON'T KNOW.

[ ARGUING INDISTINCTLY ]

I TURNED HIM ON TO THAT GUY.

HE DID THE SIDING ON MY BUILDING. IT LOOKS GREAT.

AAAH, SHIT!

OH-HO-HO! SHIT, SHIT!

HE'S GONNA BLAME ME FOR THIS.

YOU WATCH.

OH, YEAH. PROBABLY.

[ SIGHS ] WELL, WELL, WELL.

LOOK WHO'S HERE.

MORNING, LAURA.

TERRANCE.

HERE YOU GO.

THANK YOU.

YOU'RE WELCOME.

WHAT?

WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN?

I DON'T KNOW. COUPLE WEEKS AGO.

TURNS OUT WE BOTH DROVE VW BUSES IN COLLEGE.

OH.

YOU SHOULD HAVE A CHOKE COLLAR ON YOUR DICK.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HEY.

EVERYTHING COOL?

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

HE'S DOING THE WAITRESS.

WHAT? YEAH.

[ SIGHS ]

WHICH ONE?

THE -- THE TALL ONE.

[ CHUCKLES ] WHY YOU GOT TO SHIT WHERE WE EAT?

OH, THAT'S NICE.

YOU KNOW, SHE'S TOUCHING OUR FOOD,

AND SHE'S BEEN -- SHE'S BEEN NEAR HIS BUSINESS.

WHOA, WHOA. DON'T WORRY. WE ALWAYS TAKE A SHOWER AFTERWARDS.

GROSS.

WHAT EXACTLY DID YOU ORDER ME HERE?

HEY, YOU KNOW, YOU'RE 20 MINUTES LATE EVERY TIME.

YOU CAN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT WHAT I ORDER FOR YOU.

HEY, I'M NOT 20 MINUTES LATE.

ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, 15. SORRY. YOU'RE EARLY.

MAN, MY CIRCADIAN RHYTHMS ARE OUT OF WHACK.

ANNIE SET THE ALARM THIS MORNING, AND --

HOLD IT. ANNIE?

SO YOU GOT THE WAITRESS AND THE 25-YEAR-OLD?

I DON'T "GOT" ANYBODY. [ SCOFFS ] OH.

ANYWAY, ANNIE SET THE ALARM THIS MORNING,

WHICH IS A TOTALLY UNHEALTHY WAY TO WAKE UP.

SO, FROM 8:00 TO 11:00,

I FALL STRAIGHT BACK INTO A REM SLEEP,

AND THEN, BAM! EVERY NINE MINUTES, I'M BACK UP.

YEAH, I HATE IT WHEN I CAN'T REM SLEEP THROUGH TO 11:00.

WHO ARE YOU KIDDING, ANYWAY?

YOU'RE UP EVERY NINE MINUTES

GOING, "I'M SLEEPING WITH A 25-YEAR-OLD!"

YOU'RE HIGH-FIVING YOUR PENIS.

ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

I DON'T EXPECT YOU GUYS TO UNDERSTAND.

I GET IT.

I KNOW WHY YOU LIKE HER.

SHE FILLS GAPS, RIGHT?

WHAT?

FROM "ROCKY," MAN. THAT'S, LIKE, THE BEST SCENE IN THE MOVIE.

PAULIE SAYS, "HEY, WHY YOU GOIN' OUT WITH MY SISTER?"

AND ROCKY'S LIKE,

[ Deep voice ] "I GOT GAPS. "SHE'S GOT GAPS.

YOU KNOW, TOGETHER WE FILL GAPS."

THAT'S THE BEST SCENE?

[ Normal voice ] MM-HMM.

IN "ROCKY"?

YEAH.

NOT WHEN HE'S JUMPING AT THE TOP OF THE STAIRS

WITH HIS ARMS IN THE AIR?

OR "CUT ME, MICK"? HOW 'BOUT "CUT ME, MICK"?

OR THE MEAT, MAN!

HE'S PUNCHING THE MEAT AND THE MUSIC'S PLAYING?

"GONNA FLY NOW"! THAT'S THE BEST SCENE.

NO, THAT'S WHAT EVERYBODY THI-- THAT'S THE OBVIOUS, BUT IT'S --

THAT'S NOT EVEN THE BEST SONG.

MAN, YOU'RE NOT -- NAH, YOU DON'T GET IT.

"FILLS GAPS" -- THAT'S DEEP SHIT.

I COULD NAME 80 OTHER SCENES...

NO.

...THAT PEOPLE REMEMBER MORE THAN THAT ONE.

FORGET IT, MAN. FORGET IT.

WHAT?

YOU KNOW HE'S NOT GONNA CHANGE HIS MIND.

AND THIS IS NOT HOW I WANT TO SPEND

THE LAST PART OF MY MORNING BEFORE I GO DOWNTOWN

TO CONVINCE SOME ASSHOLE INSPECTOR

TO LET SOME ASSHOLE ELECTRICIAN WIRE MY HOUSE

SO I CAN TURN ON MY ASSHOLE LIGHTS.

SO, FORGET IT. FORGET IT.

OKAY?

YOU KNOW, IF YOU WANT, I-I CAN [SIGHS]

I CAN HELP YOU GET YOUR LIGHTS ON.

NO, NO, NO. LOOK.

TWO YEARS OF STAGE-LIGHTING CLASSES IN COLLEGE.

YOU DON'T WANT TO LET THAT KNOWLEDGE GO TO WASTE.

NO. NO, THANK YOU. YOU'VE...DONE ENOUGH.

I TOLD YOU HE'D BLAME ME.

[ CHUCKLES ]

THIS IS, UH...

THIS IS NOT GOOD.

I DON'T EVEN SEE AN APPLICATION FOR A PERMIT.

UH, WE THINK OUR CONTRACTOR WAS LYING TO US.

WAS THIS A, UM, SMALL JOB

THAT MAYBE YOU FIGURED YOU DIDN'T NEED A PERMIT FOR

AND THEN IT TURNED INTO A BIG JOB?

NO. IT'S THE SAME SIZE IT ALWAYS WAS.

I MEAN, WE ADDED A WINDOW

AND A, UM...PORTICO OR WHATEVER YOU CALL IT,

BUT, UM, NO -- WE WEREN'T TRYING TO GET AWAY WITH ANYTHING,

IF THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE ASKING.

WELL, I'M SORRY, MR., UH, THOREAU,

BUT I'M AFRAID I DON'T HAVE THE AUTHORITY

TO ALLOW YOU TO RESUME CONSTRUCTION.

WAIT. YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S -- THAT'S FINE.

HELL, I'M HAPPY JUST TO HAVE A LITTLE BREAK

FROM ALL THE HAMMERING.

ALL WE REALLY WANT TO DO

IS GET THE ELECTRICITY IN THE MAIN HOUSE BACK ON.

WHY WAS THE ELECTRICITY OFF?

FOR THE CONSTRUCTION.

BUT -- BUT -- BUT WE'RE NOT GONNA DO ANY MORE WORK.

I WISH I COULD HELP YOU, BUT IT'S OUT OF MY HANDS.

AND ANY CHANGES TO THE CONDITION OF YOUR HOUSE

WILL BE CONSIDERED WORK AND THEN SUBJECT TO MORE FINES.

BELIEVE ME,

I'M JUST TRYING TO SAVE YOU FROM EVEN BIGGER HEADACHES.

48.

[ AL GREEN'S "LET'S STAY TOGETHER" PLAYS ON RADIO ]

YO!

WHAT'S UP, BUDDY?

OH, NOT MUCH.

WHERE'S LUCY?

WHO'S THE GUY SHE'S TALKING TO?

TRAVIS, I THINK.

HEY. YOU OKAY?

UH-HUH.

YEAH? YOU LOOK A LITTLE...FLUSHED.

WHAT DOES THAT EVEN MEAN?

OH, JUST -- YOU KNOW.

WERE YOU OUT IN THE SUN TODAY?

YEAH, I-I GUESS SO.

YEAH. THAT'S -- THAT'S PROBABLY IT.

[ HUMS ]

OH, GOOD. YOU FOUND THEM.

UH, YEAH. THANKS, MOM.

OKAY. I'M GOING FOR A RUN.

OH, YEAH. YOU ENJOY THAT.

OWEN, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT YOU RAN.

NOT EVERY NIGHT,

BUT, YOU KNOW, WHEN I NEED TO LET OFF SOME STEAM.

YOU KNOW, HONEY, YOUR FATHER HAS PLENTY OF FRIENDS DOWNTOWN.

I'M SURE HE CAN MAKE A FEW CALLS

AND GET THIS ALL TAKEN CARE OF.

REALLY?

THE MAYOR'S BROTHER-IN-LAW --

HE'S BEEN A CUSTOMER FOR YEARS.

YEAH, WE CAN HANDLE IT, MOM.

UNO!

GRANDPA, THAT'S NOT FAIR!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "IT'S NOT FAIR"?

IF YOU LET YOUR CARDS OUT FOR EVERYBODY TO SEE,

YOU'RE GONNA GET STUNG.

OWEN.

BE NICE.

I'M SUPPOSED TO LET HIM WIN?

THE BOY IS 6 YEARS OLD, GRANDPA.

WELL, HE'S NOT GONNA BE 6 FOREVER, NOW, IS HE?

IF YOU LET THEM WIN NOW,

THEY'LL THINK THE WORLD OWES THEM SOMETHING.

[ CHUCKLES ]

CAN WE GO WATCH TV NOW?

OH, NO, NO, NO. LOSER HAS TO SHUFFLE.

SO NOT GONNA LOSE.

THE POINT IS TO WIN.

OKAY, I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.

AN HOUR?

HE CAN RUN FOR A WHOLE HOUR?

MM-HMM.

YEAH, WATCH -- WATCH YOUR STEP.

THERE'S NAILS AND CRAP EVERYWHERE.

OH. IT'S GONNA BE GREAT WHEN IT'S DONE, HUH?

YEAH. IT WAS DONE BY A CRIMINAL.

AND IT MIGHT ALL SOON BE GONE.

WHAT AM I LOOKING FOR?

THE JUNCTION BOX.

YEAH. WHAT'S IT LOOK LIKE?

IT -- [ SIGHS ]

LIKE A BOX.

WELL, HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW THAT? I'M A CAR SALESMAN.

[ Chuckling ] WELL, I DON'T SELL CARS,

BUT IF YOU ASK ME TO FIND A WHEEL,

I'M GONNA GO WITH SOMETHING ROUND.

JUST TURN MY DAMN LIGHTS ON!

[ LAUGHS ]

Albert: SO, I'M NOT SAYING I'M THE FASTEST KID IN MY GYM CLASS,

BUT I'M AT LEAST IN THE TOP EIGHT.

EIGHT?

USUALLY WHEN YOU SAY A TOP, YOU ROUND IT OUT TO, LIKE, 10.

BUT I'M BETTER THAN THAT.

I MEAN, IF I SAID "TOP 10," YOU'D THINK I WAS 10.

I'M NOT. I'M EIGHT.

YEAH, I GET IT. I GET IT. THAT'S PRETTY GOOD.

HEY, COME ON, THUMBELINA.

WE WERE GONNA PUT IT DOWN DURING DINNER, RIGHT?

YEAH, I AM. JUST...A SECOND.

AND...DONE.

HAPPY?

YEAH. YEAH.

NOW, LET'S -- COME ON. LET'S TALK A LITTLE.

I GOT TO PEE. I HAD TWO LARGE COKES.

AND I LICKED ALL MY FRIES, ALBERT.

ALBERT, LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING --

WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS TRAVIS GUY?

I DON'T KNOW.

I MEAN, DO YOU SEE HIM AROUND SCHOOL? IS HE A NICE GUY?

YEAH, USUALLY.

I GUESS LAST WEEK, HE CALLED LUCY A WHORE.

WHAT?!

AGH! BRAIN FREEZE!

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

IT'S LIKE NAILS IN MY EYEBALLS!

[ CELLPHONE CHIRPS ]

[ WHIMPERING ]

ALBERT, HOW DO YOU -- HOW DO YOU --

HOW DO YOU OPEN THIS?

TO DO WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW. I DON'T KNOW. JUST READ THEM.

ALL OF THEM?

YEAH, YEAH. WHAT -- UNLOCK IT.

[ BEEPING ]

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?

HE HAD ONE OF YOUR FRIES.

WHOA.

ALL THAT HAPPENED IN THE BATHROOM?

YEAH, I'M JUST...

A FRIEND OF MINE IS SUPPOSED TO SWING BY AND PICK ME UP.

IS IT THE OLD GUY?

YEAH, THE OLD GUY.

[ DOG BARKING IN DISTANCE ]

YOU KNOW, IF IT WAS JUST ME, I COULD HANDLE IT. YOU KNOW?

I'M USED TO IT.

BUT WHEN HE STARTS DROPPING THAT SHIT ON MY KIDS?

MAN -- JUST HOLD THE LIGHT UP,

WOULD YOU?

SO, HOW'D YOU GET OUT OF THE HOUSE?

I TOLD THEM I WAS GOING FOR A RUN.

AND THEY BOUGHT THAT?

[ LAUGHS ]

ANYWAY, THANKS FOR COMING OUT SO QUICK.

YOU'RE SAVING MY ASS.

YOU KIDDING ME? YOU SAVED MINE.

LAURA FROM THE DINER CAME BY AFTER WORK,

AND I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU HADN'T CALLED,

I MIGHT HAVE BEEN CUDDLED TO DEATH.

OKAY.

SO, HERE WE GO.

WE GOT THE BLACK -- POSITIVE.

RED, POSITIVE.

THEY GOT THIS GREEN ONE GOING...

WHAT THE HELL. I'LL JUST PUT IT THERE.

TERRY.

NOW, WHOA. TERRY.

TERRY, COME ON, MAN! IF YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE DO--

[ CLICK ]

EH?

SON OF A BITCH.

[ LAUGHS ]

HUH?

[ LAUGHS ]

WOW.

WHO KNEW THAT YOU COULD ACTUALLY DO SHIT?

SURPRISED THE HELL OUT OF ME.

Officer: ALL RIGHT, GUYS.

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

WAIT RIGHT THERE. KEEP YOUR HANDS UP.

NO, NO. NO, OFFICER, THIS IS -- THIS IS MY HOUSE.

WE JUST HAD A LITTLE ELECTRICAL PROBLEM.

LET ME SEE SOME I.D. YEAH.

AND MOVE SLOWLY.

SURE. NO -- NO PROBLEM.

[ POLICE RADIO CHATTER ]

OH.

WHAT?

THESE ARE NOT MY SHORTS.

AW, SHIT.

[ CAR DOOR SLAMS ]

REALLY? THEY GOT TO CUFF US?

WELL, THEY DON'T KNOW.

WE COULD HAVE BEEN BREAKING AND ENTERING.

BREAKING INTO WHAT?

WE WALKED IN THROUGH A PLASTIC SHEET.

HEY, WHAT TIME IS IT?

HMM?

AAH!

7:30.

SHIT!

WHAT THE HELL -- WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU, MAN?

AH, I WAS SUPPOSED TO PICK UP ANNIE AN HOUR AGO FOR DINNER.

OHHHH.

IT'S -- IT'S FINE.

OH, GOOD.

WELL, MAYBE NOW SHE'LL REALIZE SHE'S DATING A DICK.

WHY AM I A DICK?

BECAUSE ONLY A DICK

GOES STRAIGHT FROM BANGING A WAITRESS ALL AFTERNOON

TO DINNER WITH HIS 25-YEAR-OLD GIRLFRIEND.

OKAY, FIRST OF ALL, SHE'S NOT MY GIRLFRIEND.

NEITHER IS LAURA.

AND I HAVE BEEN TOTALLY UP FRONT WITH BOTH OF THEM

ABOUT HOW I FEEL ABOUT ALL THIS, AND THEY'RE OKAY WITH IT.

OH, SO THEY KNOW ABOUT EACH OTHER?

[ CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY ]

WHAT DIFFERENCE DOES IT MAKE?

THEY'RE HAPPY. I'M HAPPY.

THE ONLY ONE WHO'S NOT HAPPY ABOUT THE WHOLE THING IS YOU.

OF COURSE, YOU'RE NOT HAPPY ABOUT ANYTHING LATELY.

I CAN'T REMEMBER THE LAST TIME WE HAD A HIKE OR WENT TO LUNCH

WHEN YOU WEREN'T BITCHING ABOUT YOUR LIFE.

"MY DAD'S TOO TOUGH ON ME. THE KIDS ARE UP ALL NIGHT.

THE CONTRACTOR'S SCREWING ME." BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

THAT'S YOUR FAULT! YOU TOLD ME GUNTHER DID GREAT WORK!

HE DOES DO GREAT WORK! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW

HE DOES IT WITHOUT A PERMIT?

LOOK, I DIDN'T HIRE HIM. I JUST LIVE IN THE BUILDING.

GEEZ! MAN!

TAKE SOME RESPONSIBILITY!

YOU'RE TELLING ME ABOUT TAKING RESPONSIBILITY?

YOU CAN'T EVEN BE ON TIME FOR SHIT YOU WANT TO BE AT!

OH, NO, NO, NO. NOT THE SAME. NOT THE SAME.

YOU KNOW WHY YOU'RE ALWAYS LATE?

'CAUSE I KNOW WHY. I KNOW EXACTLY WHY.

REALLY? I GOT A WHOLE THEORY

ABOUT IT.

WELL, PLEASE ENLIGHTEN ME, O GREAT BUDDHA.

WHEN YOU'RE LATE, ALL YOU CAN THINK ABOUT

IS GETTING TO WHERE YOU'RE TRYING TO GO --

TRAFFIC, LIGHTS, WHATEVER.

YOU GOT NO ROOM IN YOUR HEAD FOR ANYTHING ELSE.

BUT IF YOU'RE EARLY,

YOU'RE NOT THINKING ABOUT THAT STUFF.

YOUR BRAIN'S NOT OCCUPIED THAT WAY.

SO YOUR MIND DRIFTS.

MAYBE YOU START THINKING, YOU KNOW, INWARD --

ABOUT YOUR LIFE, WHO YOU ARE, WHATNOT.

BUT YOU DON'T WANT TO DO THAT.

THE LAST THING YOU WANT IS TO LOOK IN THE MIRROR

AND ASK, "WHO ARE YOU, TERRY?"

BECAUSE THEN YOU MIGHT START THINKING

ABOUT EXACTLY WHO YOU ARE

AND WHAT YOU'RE DOING WITH YOUR LIFE.

THAT'S WHY YOU'RE LATE ALL THE TIME.

WELL, THANK YOU.

YEAH.

THAT'S FOR FREE.

YEAH, BUT YOU FORGOT ONE THING.

WHAT'S THAT?

THE ONLY REASON I'M LATE RIGHT NOW

IS BECAUSE I WAS HELPING YOU.

[ SIGHS ]

[ RADIO CHATTER CONTINUES ]

I DON'T CARE WHY!

YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO GO THROUGH MY STUFF!

[ DOOR SLAMS ]

SORRY.

IT'S MY FAULT. IT'S MY FAULT.

OH, I SHOULD NEVER HAVE TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS.

WHAT? NO, NO. YOU HAVE TO TELL ME THIS STUFF, OKAY?

WE GOT TO FIGURE THIS OUT TOGETHER. DON'T --

I DON'T WANT TO WORRY THAT YOU'RE NOT GONNA

INCLUDE ME IN THIS STUFF.

YEAH, YOU KNOW WHAT -- I'M SORRY, JOE,

BUT I DID INCLUDE YOU, AND LOOK WHAT HAPPENED.

DID YOU KNOW TRAVIS CALLED LUCY A WHORE?

WHAT?

YEAH. THAT'S WHY -- THAT'S...

WAS THAT IN THE TEXT?

NO. ALBERT -- HE HEARD ABOUT IT AT SCHOOL.

BUT THAT'S WHY I WAS LOOKING --

TO TRY TO SEE WHAT ELSE HE'S SAYING TO HER.

WHICH I WOULD HAVE FOUND OUT

IF HER PHONE WASN'T A DAMN RUBIK'S CUBE.

WHY DIDN'T SHE TELL ME THAT?

I DON'T...

I DON'T KNOW.

EVEN WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER, I'D FEEL LIKE I DIDN'T KNOW

WHAT WAS GOING ON WITH HER AND ALL THAT.

NOW IT JUST... [ SIGHS ]

LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF SHE'S NOT TALKING

TO ME AND THAT'S NORMAL,

OR IF THERE'S SOMETHING ELSE GOING ON

BECAUSE OF, YOU KNOW...

...US.

NO, NO, NO.

LOOK, IT'S OKAY. IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WE'LL FIGURE THIS ALL OUT.

YEAH, OKAY.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

WELL, WE'RE DEFINITELY GETTING HER A NEW PHONE,

BECAUSE THAT THING'S A NIGHTMARE.

RIGHT? YOU COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT, EITHER.

IT'S IMPOSSIBLE.

SOON THEY'RE ALL GONNA HAVE THE GPS-TRACKING THING.

OH, WE'RE GETTING THAT SHIT.

[ LAUGHS ]

Sharon: ALL WE WERE SAYING IS --

OKAY. THEY'RE DOWN.

PHEW!

SO, IF IT COMES UP,

I WAS HELPING THOSE COPS TO LOOK FOR A DOG.

YOUR FATHER AND I HAVE TALKED IT OVER,

AND WE FEEL LIKE THE BEST WAY TO HANDLE THIS SITUATION

IS FOR YOU TO JUST PAY THE FINES

AND DO WHATEVER IT TAKES TO GET THE JOB FINISHED.

WELL, WE MAY HAVE TO REBUILD, AND WE CAN'T AFFORD THAT.

IF IT COMES TO THAT, WE'LL COVER IT.

BUT YOU TWO NEED A HOME TO LIVE IN.

MOM, THAT'S VERY KIND OF YOU,

BUT, UH, I'M TELLING YOU -- WE CAN HANDLE IT.

YOUR WAY OF "HANDLING IT"

ALMOST GOT YOU THROWN IN JAIL, TODAY, SON,

WHICH IS WHERE YOU WOULD HAVE BEEN

IF THEY HADN'T RECOGNIZED ME.

WHAT WOULD YOU HAVE ME DO, DAD?

SIT HERE AND WATCH YOU MAKE MY KIDS CRY AT CARDS?

MELISSA, TALK TO YOUR HUSBAND.

SHARON, I'M GOING TO BED.

[ GRUNTS ]

WOULD YOU JUST PLEASE THINK ABOUT IT?

IF THEY HELP US, HE WILL NEVER LET ME FORGET IT.

YOU KNOW THAT.

I DO KNOW THE MAN, YES.

WE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG.

HONEY, I DON'T THINK THAT'S THE POINT ANYMORE.

WELL, WHAT, THEN? WHAT DO WE DO?

I DON'T KNOW.

GO DOWNTOWN AGAIN.

THEY DON'T WANT TO HELP YOU DOWN THERE.

ALL THEY WANT TO DO IS CHECK YOUR NAME OFF SOME LIST

SO -- SO IT LOOKS LIKE THEY DID SOMETHING.

LOOK, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE A SALESMAN, RIGHT?

SO GO DO SOME SELLING.

FIND THE KEY.

YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT, RIGHT?

THEN WE'RE GONNA BE

SPENDING A HELL OF A LOT MORE TIME WITH YOUR PARENTS.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]

AAAH!

OPEN UP.

DID YOU CALL MY DAUGHTER A WHORE?

NO.

'CAUSE I GOT TO TELL YOU, AS A PARENT,

THAT'S NOT THE KIND OF THING YOU WANT TO HEAR.

I DIDN'T CALL HER THAT.

REALLY? 'CAUSE I HEARD YOU DID.

WELL, I DIDN'T.

THIS IS STUPID. I'M GONNA GET LUCY.

WE'RE GONNA STRAIGHTEN ALL THIS OUT.

WHAT?! NO, WAIT!

WHAT?

SHE DUMPED ME, OKAY?

AND...I DON'T KNOW. I...

I KIND OF LOST MY MIND, AND I GOT ANGRY.

AND WHEN I TRIED TO MAKE HER TALK TO ME ABOUT IT...

...I CALLED HER A WHORE.

BUT IT WAS BECAUSE SHE WOULDN'T LET ME TALK.

IT'S NOT BECAUSE SHE'S ACTUALLY LIKE A WHORE

OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

I SWEAR.

I MEAN, EVEN IF SHE WAS A WHORE,

I'D STILL, YOU KNOW...

[ Voice breaking ] SHE'S JUST...

SHE'S SO GREAT.

OKAY.

I'M SORRY. I DIDN'T MEAN IT.

RELAX. CALM DOWN.

I JUST WANTED HER TO LIKE ME AGAIN.

I WANTED EVERYTHING TO BE THE WAY IT WAS.

LOOK, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE IN HIGH SCHOOL.

THIS IS -- IT'S WHAT HAPPENS.

NO. IT'S NOT LIKE THAT.

LIKE, WHEN WE WERE TOGETHER,

IT WAS...

[ SIGHS ]

I WAS...

I DON'T KNOW.

SHE FILLS GAPS, RIGHT?

HUH?

GAPS.

YOU'VE GOT GAPS. SHE'S GOT GAPS.

AND WHEN YOU'RE TOGETHER...

YOU FILL GAPS.

YEAH.

YEAH.

YEAH. I GUESS.

YOU REMEMBER THAT? FROM "ROCKY"?

WHAT'S "ROCKY"?

DOESN'T MATTER.

IT'S JUST -- LOOK.

I GET IT.

SO, WHAT NOW?

EVERYTHING GO BACK TO SUCKING?

YEAH, PRETTY MUCH.

NOT FOREVER, THOUGH.

FEELS LIKE FOREVER.

LOOK, TRAVIS...

IT'S HARD. I KNOW.

IT'S HARD. YOU FOUND SOMEBODY SPECIAL.

YEAH.

AND -- AND -- AND YOU PROBABLY THOUGHT

YOU'RE GONNA SPEND THE REST OF YOUR LIFE WITH HER.

YEAH.

YEAH, AND -- AND -- AND YOU THINK,

"BOY, I'M NEVER GONNA FIND ANYBODY LIKE THIS EVER AGAIN."

THAT'S HOW YOU FEEL.

I DON'T HAVE ANY MAGIC WORDS, BUT...

ALL I CAN TELL YOU

IS SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO FEEL AS BAD AS YOU POSSIBLY CAN

BEFORE YOU FEEL BETTER.

AND...

YOU WILL -- YOU'RE GONNA FIND SOMEBODY.

YOU'RE GONNA MEET SOMEBODY AGAIN.

I KNOW YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME RIGHT NOW, BUT...

YOU WILL.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

MAYBE THE NEXT ONE -- MAYBE THAT'S --

MAYBE THAT'S THE GIRL YOU'RE GONNA MARRY.

AND WHO KNOWS?

YOU MAY HAVE A DAUGHTER ONE DAY,

AND THERE MAY BE A BOY WHO FALLS IN LOVE WITH HER,

AND HE MAY CALL HER A NAME.

AND YOU'RE GONNA HAVE THIS MOMENT RIGHT HERE.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PROBABLY GONNA SAY TO THAT KID?

YOU'RE GONNA SAY, "HEY, KID,

"I KNOW YOU'RE GONNA DO THE RIGHT THING.

'CAUSE IF YOU DON'T, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS."

THAT'S PROBABLY WHAT YOU'RE GONNA SAY.

YEAH. YEAH, OKAY.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT. DRIVE SAFE, TRAV.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

[ INDISTINCT CONVERSATIONS ]

HEY.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I'M SO SORRY ABOUT LAST NIGHT.

I GOT THE CRAZIEST STORY.

I WISH I HAD TIME TO HEAR IT.

I TRIED TO CALL YOU LATER, BUT -- BUT YOU NEVER ANSWERED.

YEAH, I WASN'T THERE.

I MADE PLANS WITH SOME PEOPLE, AND I KEPT THEM.

OKAY, LOOK, UM... [ CLEARS THROAT ]

I KNOW WE WERE KIND OF SUPPOSED TO HAVE DINNER,

BUT WE WERE KEEPING IT KIND OF LOOSEY-GOOSEY.

NO. YOU WERE KEEPING IT LOOSEY-GOOSEY.

I WAS GETTING OFF AT 6:00 AND THEN WAITING UNTIL 7:30.

LOOK, I-I WAS ARRESTED.

WHAT?

I WAS TRYING TO HELP A FRIEND OF MINE

TURN THE LIGHTS BACK ON AT HIS HOUSE.

THEN THE POLICE SHOWED UP, AND -- AND...

THE STORY'S ACTUALLY REALLY BORING, BUT IT'S REAL.

OKAY, THEN.

O...KAY, THEN.

SO...

UH, YOU WANT TO TRY AGAIN TONIGHT?

AT AN ACTUAL TIME OR "LOOSEY-GOOSEY"?

LOOK, I FEEL LIKE I'VE BEEN... [ CLEARS THROAT ]

...PRETTY UP FRONT ABOUT ME AND RELATIONSHIPS.

AND...YOU KNOW...

AS FAR AS COMMITMENT GOES, I'M NOT --

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA.

NO ONE'S TALKING ABOUT THAT.

LOOK, I LIKE BEING WITH YOU.

AND I DON'T CARE ABOUT SPENDING EVERY NIGHT WITH YOU,

OR EVEN EVERY OTHER NIGHT.

BUT ON THE NIGHTS THAT WE SAY WE'RE GONNA BE TOGETHER,

I NEED TO KNOW THAT YOU GIVE A SHIT.

CAN YOU HANDLE THAT?

ABSOLUTELY.

GOOD.

OKAY.

SO... [ CLEARS THROAT ]

TONIGHT?

I GET OFF AT 6:00.

YOU WANT TO WRITE IT DOWN?

YEAH, YOU KNOW, MAYBE I BETTER.

[ "GOING THE DISTANCE" FROM "ROCKY" PLAYS ]

RIGHT? "ROCKY."

"GONNA FLY NOW" GETS ALL THE PRESS,

BUT THIS IS THE ONE THAT GETS YOU RIGHT HERE.

HEY, YOU KNOW, MARIA, I MEANT TO TELL YOU --

I KNOW YOU GOT A LOT OF THINGS GOING ON IN YOUR LIFE,

AND, YOU KNOW, IT CAN GET COMPLICATED AND ALL,

AND I JUST -- JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,

IF YOU NEED IT, YOU CAN ALWAYS COME TO ME, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, MY DOOR IS ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOU GUYS.

OKAY.

OKAY.

[ Rapping ] ♪ I GOT THIS SONG IN MY HEAD

THAT I JUST CAN'T STAND ♪

♪ WITH THIS BEAT THAT COMES FROM A FOREIGN LAND ♪

♪ MIGHT BE SWEDEN OR VENEZUELA -- ♪

DON'T RUIN IT, DaSHAUN.

Man: 81!

IT'S ME AGAIN.

I NOTICE YOU DON'T GET A LOT OF CHANCES

TO GET UP FROM THAT DESK.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT GET THIRSTY.

UH, SIR, I TOLD YOU I'VE DONE EVERYTHING I COULD POSSIBLY DO.

WELL, I KNOW YOU HAVE, AND I APPRECIATE IT.

THE THING IS, I CAN SEE YOU'RE A CLEVER GUY,

AND I THOUGHT BETWEEN THE TWO OF US,

WE COULD MAYBE COME UP WITH ANOTHER SOLUTION --

SOMETHING THAT, UH, MAKES SENSE.

FIVE MINUTES -- THAT'S ALL I'M ASKING.

HEY, UM...

YOU KNOW, MY FATHER PLAYED FOR THE LAKERS.

OH. THAT.

THAT'S, UH, THAT'S MY BOSS TIM'S.

HE'S A -- HE'S A HUGE LAKERS FAN.

ME, I'M, UH... MORE OF A FOOTBALL GUY.

I GOT TO HAND IT TO YOU -- YOU REALLY WORK.

I MEAN, A LOT OF PEOPLE,

THEY SHOW UP AND FART AROUND MOST OF THE DAY.

BUT WHAT YOU DO? THIS -- PSH! THIS IS WORK.

LOOK, UH... MR. THOREAU...

I APPRECIATE THE COMPLIMENTS AND THE EFFORT,

UM... BUT I'LL SAY IT AGAIN --

THERE IS NOTHING MORE I CAN DO FOR YOU.

IF I COULD, I WOULD GIVE YOU THE PERMITS RIGHT NOW.

BUT THIS IS THE CITY OF LOS ANGELES.

DID YOU KNOW I CAN'T EVEN DECORATE MY OWN WORK AREA?

I LIKE PLANTS.

MAN.

OKAY, MAN.

I'M SORRY.

DON'T BE SORRY. I GET IT.

I'VE BEEN WORKING FOR MY OLD MAN FOR 20 YEARS, SO...

BOY, DO I GET IT.

20 YEARS OF SHOWING UP, SITTING AT MY DESK,

AND TRYING TO FOOL MYSELF INTO BELIEVING

THAT I ACTUALLY WANTED TO BE THERE.

ONE TIME...

I TRIED TO GET FROM UNDER IT.

23 YEARS OLD.

I HAD THIS PLAN TO OPEN MY OWN RECORD STORE.

I FOUND A PLACE.

I BORROWED ONE OF MY DAD'S TIES

AND WENT IN AND ACTUALLY CONVINCED SOME LOAN OFFICER

TO GIVE ME $10,000.

MM. [ LAUGHS ]

BACK THEN, IT MIGHT AS WELL HAVE BEEN A MILLION.

I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT.

AND I TOOK THAT CHECK STRAIGHT FROM THE BANK,

AND I DROPPED IT ON THE OLD MAN'S DESK.

I WAS BOUNCING OFF THE WALLS.

I WAS TELLING HIM, "I'M GONNA MAKE MY OWN NAME,

BE MY OWN BOSS."

YOU KNOW, DO IT THE WAY HE DID IT.

I THOUGHT HE'D RESPECT ME FOR IT, YOU KNOW?

HE JUST FOLDED UP THAT CHECK,

STUCK IT IN MY POCKET, AND SAID...

"YOU'LL BE BACK."

NO "GOOD LUCK" OR, UM...

"DON'T SKIMP ON THOSE PAYROLL TAXES."

JUST...

"YOU'LL BE BACK."

AND A YEAR LATER,

WHEN I WAS SITTING ON A MOUNTAIN OF VINYL

AND EVERY KID IN THE WORLD DECIDED TO BUY A CD PLAYER,

HE WAS RIGHT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

I WAS BACK.

JUST LIKE NOW,

WHEN I TELL HIM HOW DEEP I'M GONNA BE INTO THIS HOUSE,

WHEN I GOT TO GO TO HIM FOR THE MONEY FOR IT.

HE'LL BE RIGHT AGAIN.

AND I'LL BE BACK.

YOU GOT A FATHER?

[ HORN HONKING IN DISTANCE ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

PLENTY OF TIME.

[ HORN HONKING IN DISTANCE ]

WHO ARE YOU, TERRY?

[ HORN HONKS IN DISTANCE ]

[ LAUGHS ]

OH, NO.

NO, NO! YOU PIECE OF SHIT!

[ HORN HONKS ]

COME ON!

[ HORN HONKS ] COME O--

[ TIRES SQUEAL ]

HEY! HERE!

WE DON'T OPEN TILL 7:00.

I DON'T CARE!

OOH!

WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!

MY BAD. MY BAD.

NO SHIT YOUR BAD, DICKHEAD!

DUDE, YOU ARE SAVING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW.

NO PROBLEM.

[ PANTING ]

THREE MINUTES. THREE...

SHIT.

HEY.

TRAFFIC WAS NO GOOD.

UM...

[ SIGHS ]

I'M SORRY.

WE'RE NOT RIDING BIKES TO DINNER, ARE WE?

ACTUALLY, UH, YEAH.

I GUESS I DIDN'T TELL YOU -- I'VE GONE TOTALLY GREEN.

WOW!

YEAH. YEAH.

LET ME ASK YOU --

YOU EVER LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND ASK, "WHO ARE YOU?"

NO.

NO, ME NEITHER.

[ "GOING THE DISTANCE" FROM "ROCKY" PLAYS ]