Original subtitles

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN ♪

♪ WILL I DIG THE SAME THINGS THAT TURN ME ON AS A KID? ♪

♪ WILL I LOOK BACK AND SAY THAT I WISH

I HADN'T DONE WHAT I DID? ♪

♪ WILL I JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ WILL I STILL JOKE AROUND ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ AND STILL DIG THOSE SOUNDS ♪

♪ WHEN I GROW UP TO BE A MAN? ♪

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

AUTOMATED VOICE: Good morning.

GOOD MORNING.

This is your 6:00 A.M. wake-up call.

Today is Monday, April 5th. TODAY IS MONDAY, APRIL 5th.

The temperature is...

54. 54.

YES!

[ WATER RUNNING ]

[ TOOTHBRUSH WHIRRING ]

[ WHIRRING STOPS, WATER CONTINUES RUNNING ]

[ SNORTS, GASPS ]

JAMIE SAID HULK DOESN'T HAVE A GUN,

BUT I SAID HULK CAN HAVE A GUN.

GO OUT OF THIS ROOM.

MOMMY SAID TO GET UP 'CAUSE YOU GOT TO GO EXERCISE.

DON'T YOU SHOOT THAT THING.

HU-U-U-U-U-LK!

Melissa: GET DRESSED. YOU'RE NOT WEARING THAT TO SCHOOL AGAIN.

I'M THE HULK!

YOU'D SLEEP BETTER IF YOU'D WEAR YOUR MASK.

[ SIGHS ] I'M NOT WEARING THAT THING.

HEY!

THEY DID A LOT YESTERDAY. BATHROOM'S REALLY GETTING THERE.

CAN I USE IT?

NO, NO, YOU HAVE TO USE THE KIDS' FOR NOW.

OH, THAT SEAT.

JUST A COUPLE OF MONTHS, OWEN.

YEAH.

NO, GUNTHER SAID THAT EVEN WITH THE RAIN,

THEY'RE GONNA BE DONE BY THE END OF AUGUST.

YOU KNOW THAT'S NOT HAPPENING, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW THEY'RE NOT GONNA BE DONE AT THE END OF AUGUST.

WHY DO YOU EVEN SAY IT?

YOU GET MY HOPES UP.

YOU GET MY ASS'S HOPES UP.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ HORN HONKS ]

HEY. WHAT'S GOING ON?

I'M INCREDIBLY LATE.

I THINK YOUR FRIENDS ARE OUTSIDE.

AREN'T YOU GOING HIKING THIS MORNING?

OHHHH, YEAH.

♪ OF PEOPLE ♪ Joe: ♪ OF PEOPLE ♪

♪ IN TROUBLE ♪ ♪ IN TROUBLE ♪

♪ REFLECTIONS OF MY LIFE ♪ ♪ REFLECTIONS OF MY LIFE ♪

♪ OH, HOW THEY FILL MY EYES ♪ ♪ OH, HOW THEY FILL

MY HEART ♪

♪ ALL MY CRYING ♪ ♪ ALL MY CRYING ♪

[ RADIO TURNS OFF ] PLEASE, MAN.

THAT'S A GOOD SONG.

PLEASE.

OH.

GOJI BERRY.

YEAH, NO, THEY'RE, LIKE, HEALTHY -- REALLY HEALTHY.

TRY 'EM.

GOOD FOR YOU.

YEAH, NO, THEY DON'T TASTE GOOD.

[ SPITS ]

[ SCOFFS ]

HE CAN'T JUST BE OUT HERE, RIGHT?

YOU KNOW HE'S WORKING SOME TEMP JOB NOW

WHERE HE DOESN'T HAVE TO BE IN TILL NOON?

[ LAUGHS ]

NOON!

YEAH, SO, IN CASE HE HAS AN AUDITION, RIGHT?

YEAH. WHAT WAS THE LAST SHOW HE WAS ON?

THE "HANG OUT IN BED ALL DAY, I'M A DICK" SHOW?

YOU WANT TO TAKE A BREATH?

'CAUSE YOU'RE -- YOU'RE ALL OVER THE PLACE.

I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE, MAN.

I THINK IT'S GOOD.

I THINK THIS HIKING'S GONNA BE GOOD.

YOU'RE GONNA LIKE IT.

YOU KNOW, IT'S GOOD FOR YOUR MIND --

THE ENDORPHINS, YOUR MIND.

I'M FEELING BETTER...

ABOUT SONIA.

YEAH, RIGHT. [ CHUCKLES ] SONIA.

I'M TELLING YOU,

WE'RE GONNA WORK THROUGH THIS, ME AND HER.

WE DON'T HATE EACH OTHER.

IT'S QUITE THE OPPOSITE, ACTUALLY.

AND I KNOW YOU GUYS ARE LIKE, "STOP TALKING TO HER."

BUT IT'S FUNNY, THOUGH --

NOW THAT WE'RE OFFICIALLY SEPARATED,

YOU KNOW, IT'S LIKE WE'RE FRIENDS.

I KNOW THAT SOUNDS CORNY, BUT THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT -- WE'RE FRIENDS NOW.

WOULD YOU SAY YOU HATE HIM MORE NOW

OR BACK WHEN WE WERE IN COLLEGE?

HMM.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

YEAH.

HEY, GUYS.

HEY. HEY.

SO, I'M IN SAN JOSE FOR TWO WEEKS,

BUT THEN AFTER THAT...

OKAY, WELL, I'M AROUND. OKAY. OKAY.

I HATE HIM MORE NOW.

Terry: GOJI BERRIES. NICE.

TRY THESE, "O."

THEY'RE FULL OF ANTIOXIDANTS.

YEAH, HE DON'T LIKE 'EM.

HE WON'T EAT IT UNLESS --

YOU GOT TO HIDE IT IN A HAMBURGER.

[ LAUGHS ]

SO, UH, SO, WHO'S THIS ONE?

WHO -- BETH?

YEAH, WHATEVER -- BETH. WHAT'S HER DEAL?

NO DEAL. DIVORCED, MOM, NICE LADY.

YEAH, SHE SEEMS VERY NICE. YEAH.

ANYWAY, YOU'VE SEEN HER BEFORE.

SHE'S FROM THE YOGA CLASS I TEACH.

WHAT?

TEACH? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, TEACH?

OH, COME ON, A-HOLES. I TOLD YOU ABOUT THIS ALREADY.

THE GUY WHO OWNS MY GYM, HE ASKED ME TO FILL IN

'CAUSE THE REGULAR INSTRUCTOR HAD A BABY.

DON'T REMEMBER THAT.

NO, IF YOU TOLD US THAT, I WOULD HAVE LAUGHED A LOT.

YOU GOT ANY WATER, JOE? I LEFT MY BOTTLE.

YEAH, THERE'S ONE FOR EACH OF US THERE.

OH, YOU KNOW, THAT REMINDS ME --

I LOST 2 POUNDS PEEING THIS MORNING.

2 POUNDS.

OH, HERE WE GO AGAIN.

I SWEAR TO GOD -- 2 POUNDS.

LOOK, I TOLD YOU, YOU CAN'T LOSE 2 POUNDS JUST BY PEEING.

I-I STEP ON MY DIGITAL SCALE TOTALLY NAKED BEFORE I PEE

AND THEN AGAIN AFTER I PEE, AND IT'S 2 POUNDS LESS.

MY RECORD'S 2 1/2, SO YES -- YES, YOU CAN.

THAT'S BULLSHIT.

WHY WOULD I LIE?

NO, JUST THINK ABOUT IT FOR A SECOND.

WHAT MOTIVE WOULD I HAVE TO TELL YOU

THAT MY PEE WEIGHS ANY MORE --

[ THUD ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

OH, SHIT.

OH, MAN.

POOR GUY.

OKAY. LET'S GO.

WAIT A MINUTE. WHAT IF IT'S STILL ALIVE?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO -- TAKE A POSSUM TO THE VET?

SHOULD WE? NO!

NO, THAT THING IS FULL OF RABIES AND...

AIDS AND...

YOU KNOW.

COME ON. JUST DRIVE.

[ SIGHS ]

COME ON, JOE.

I MEAN, THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO.

YEAH, NO. WHAT CAN YOU DO, RIGHT?

RIGHT, RIGHT.

I MEAN, IF THERE WAS ANYTHING TO DO, YOU'D BE THE GUY TO DO IT.

OH, MY GOD.

ALL RIGHT. OKAY. ALL RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, RELAX.

GO.

IS IT THE HUMANE THING, THOUGH,

JUST TO -- JUST TO LEAVE IT THERE?

IT'S VERY HUMANE. IT'S VERY HUMANE.

[ SIGHS ]

I KNOW, I KNOW -- THIS IS STUPID.

BUT I'M GONNA BE THINKING ABOUT IT.

I HAVEN'T GOT TIME FOR THIS, JOE.

[ THUD ]

[ THUD ]

[ THUD ]

[ THUD ]

WELL, IT'S THE HUMANE THING.

IT'S LIKE... YOU NEVER STEPPED ON A BUG

AND IT'S ONLY HALF-SQUISHED

AND YOU FIGURE, "WELL, I GOT TO STEP ON HIM ALL THE WAY NOW

INSTEAD OF LEAVING HIM THERE WITH, LIKE, HALF A BODY"?

YEAH.

YEAH, LET'S GO [CLEARS THROAT] DO SOME HIKING.

ALL RIGHT. LET'S GO.

[ BRAKES SQUEAL, TIRES SCREECH ]

[ THE LOVIN' SPOONFUL'S "DAYDREAM" PLAYS ]

♪ WHAT A DAY FOR A DAYDREAM ♪

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

♪ WHAT A DAY FOR A DAYDREAMIN' BOY ♪

[ TIRES SCREECH ] ♪ AND I'M LOST IN A DAYDREAM ♪

♪ DREAMIN' 'BOUT MY BUNDLE OF JOY ♪

♪ AND EVEN IF TIME AIN'T REALLY ON MY SIDE ♪

♪ IT'S ONE OF THOSE DAYS FOR TAKIN' A WALK OUTSIDE ♪

♪ I'M BLOWIN' THE DAY TO TAKE A WALK IN THE SUN ♪

♪ FALL ON MY FACE... ♪

ALL RIGHT, EVERYBODY, GRAB A SEAT.

IT'S A NEW MONTH.

GOOD THING, BECAUSE MARCH WAS A DAMN MESS.

MARCUS...THE ONLY GUY IN DOUBLE DIGITS?

I DON'T KNOW HOW THAT HAPPENED,

BUT IT SURE AIN'T HAPPENING AGAIN.

[ RAPPING ON DOOR ]

[ DOORKNOB RATTLES ]

NEW-CAR SALES AND LEASES --

WORST IN TWO YEARS.

AND DON'T GIVE ME THAT CRAP ABOUT THE ECONOMY.

[ POUNDING ON DOOR ] THAT WAS A PISSPOOR MARCH,

NO MATTER --

SORRY.

SORRY.

[ DOOR CLOSES ]

HEY, LLOYD.

YANKEES!

PHEW!

[ SIGHS ]

Bruce: NOW, LISTEN, GUYS,

YOU WANT TO BRING YOUR PROSPECTS TO THE MANAGER.

DON'T LEAVE THEM RUNNING AROUND OUT THERE.

YEAH?

HOW'D WE DO IN MARCH?

[ SALESPEOPLE MURMURING ]

[ HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYS ]

[ MUSIC CONTINUES ]

HEY. ALL RIGHT, GUYS, WHO CHANGED THE MUSIC?

COME ON, DaSHAUN.

[ MUSIC STOPS ] DON'T PLAY THAT.

WHEN YOU HAVE YOUR OWN STORE,

THEN YOU CAN PLAY THE "SMACK ON MY ASS" SONG.

BUT UNTIL THEN...

THAT'S WHY WE GOT THIS.

[ BACHMAN-TURNER OVERDRIVE'S "TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS"

PLAYS ]

YEAH, BABY.

HUH? THAT'S THE SHIT!

I'M SORRY, MA'AM.

YOU GOT TO LISTEN TO HIS OLD-MAN MUSIC ALL DAY.

HE PLAYED SOME BAND -- AIR SUPPLY.

YOU'D THINK HE'S DOING IT AS A JOKE,

BUT NO -- HE LIKES IT.

♪ AND I'VE BEEN TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS ♪

FELLAS.

♪ EVERY DAY ♪

♪ TAKIN' CARE OF BUSINESS EVERY WAY ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN TAKIN' CARE... ♪

UH, NOON'S OKAY, BUT 12:30's KIND OF PUSHING IT.

OH. SORRY, MAN.

I WAS GONNA CALL.

YOU SERIOUSLY DON'T HAVE A CELL?

[ CHUCKLES ] THOSE THINGS ARE FADS.

[ Laughing ] YEAH.

HEY, YOU KNOW, I SAW YOU LAST NIGHT.

THE BABY WAS CRYING, IT'S 3:00 A.M.,

I CAN'T SLEEP, I FLIP ON THE BOOB TUBE,

AND THERE YOU ARE, SELLING SOME KIND OF CAN OPENER?

OH, GOD.

YOUR HAIR WAS LONG.

[ CHUCKLES ] HEY, WHAT ABOUT THAT LITTLE HOTTIE NEXT TO YOU?

YOU TWO EVER HOOK UP?

EH, WENT OUT ONCE OR TWICE.

I BET YOU DID, YOU OLD DIRTY DOG.

LET ME ASK -- YOU STILL GET PAID FOR THAT?

NAH.

NO, THAT WAS A BUYOUT -- HE GOT A FLAT FEE UP FRONT,

SO HE DOESN'T GET PAID AGAIN UNLESS THEY RUN ANOTHER CYCLE.

SO THAT'S THE WAY THAT WORKS.

UH, OKAY.

UH, TERRY, YOU STILL GOT THE REVISIONS

ON THOSE SPREADSHEETS FROM YESTERDAY?

I KIND OF NEED THEM RIGHT AWAY.

YOU GOT IT. THANKS, BRO.

YEAH, TAKE CARE.

Dick.

HEY, IS THERE ANY COFFEE LEFT?

WAIT UP, DUDE. CHECK THIS OUT.

I WAS LOOKING THROUGH THIS BACK STAGE WEST.

CHECK OUT THIS AUDITION.

BINGO!

"SEEKING MALE FOR SUPPORTING ROLE

"IN THE LIFETIME MOVIE 'CRY BOBBY.'

MID-40s, GOOD-LOOKING."

THAT IS SO YOU, DUDE.

[ CLAPS ] GO OUT THERE AND GET THAT SHIT.

YEAH, THAT'S OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN, THAT'S OKAY? I'M GONNA COVER FOR YOU.

PEOPLE WON'T EVEN KNOW YOU'RE GONE.

STEVE, IT'S JUST A CATTLE CALL, OKAY?

BY NOW, IT'S PROBABLY CAST ALREADY.

PROBABLY NO MONEY, AND IT ALMOST DEFINITELY SUCKS.

[ EXHALES SHARPLY ]

YEAH, I KNOW IT SUCKS. THAT'S OBVIOUS.

JUST, I FIGURED IT'S LIFETIME.

BOTH KNOW THE LADIES LOVE SOME TERRY.

[ LAUGHS ] ABSOLUTELY.

SPEAKING OF COVERING FOR ME, I THINK I'LL

HEAD DOWN THE STREET

FOR A COUPLE OF EGG WHITES, OKAY?

I'LL BE BACK IN A BIT. WORD UP.

DAVE-O!

TERRY!

UH, SPREADSHEETS?

YOU BETTER BELIEVE IT -- SPREADSHEETS.

JACK MICKELSON.

PHIL. PHIL MICKELSON.

UNLESS YOU MEAN JACK NICKLAUS.

I-I DON'T KNOW.

BUT YOU PLAYED, RIGHT? WITH -- WITH ALL THOSE DUDES?

UH, SORT OF.

WELL, NO, NOT REALLY.

I DID A COUPLE TOURNAMENTS ON THE MINI TOUR BACK IN 1983.

SENIOR TOUR STARTS WHEN YOU'RE 50,

SO YOU NEVER KNOW, RIGHT?

[ CHUCKLES ]

WHAT'S GOING ON? YOU NEED ME OUT THERE?

NAH, UM, ACTUALLY, MY DAD CALLED,

AND HE SAID FROM NOW ON, IF YOU WANT TO USE HIS BOOKIE,

YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO CALL HIM YOURSELF.

OH.

OH, YEAH? OK-- UH.

YEAH, IT'S JUST, YOU KNOW, HE JUST BETS HIS EAGLES,

AND LATELY, YOU'VE BEEN GETTING BIG-TIME,

AND HE JUST DOESN'T WANT ME

BRINGING ALL THE MONEY BACK AND FORTH.

OH, YEAH. I GET IT. YEAH.

OKAY, THAT'S COOL. YEAH.

HERE'S THE GUY'S NUMBER RIGHT THERE.

YOU CAN CALL HIM UP. OKAY. YEAH.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, THIS ONE-WEEK THING --

I BET A LITTLE BIT -- A LOT --

BUT I'M PROBABLY NOT GONNA DO THAT EVER AGAIN, BUT...

OKAY -- "BURT MANFRO." BURT MANFRO.

OKAY GUY?

I GUESS. I MET HIM, LIKE, ONCE.

I DON'T THINK HE EVER KILLED NOBODY. [ LAUGHS ]

NO.

NO, BUT I'LL BET HE KNOW PEOPLE WHO HAVE.

[ LAUGHS ]

WHAT'S THIS?

[ PAPERS SHUFFLE ]

UH, THAT'S THE MANDATORY STATE SURCHARGE

THAT FUNDS OIL RECYCLING.

YOU GUYS MAKE THIS SO CONFUSING!

MAYBE WE SHOULD WAIT. I DID WANT TO LOOK

AT THE GRAND MARQUIS.

YOU WANT TO WALK? I'LL WALK RIGHT NOW.

EXCUSE ME, OWEN. YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL.

WHAT?

YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL.

[ LAUGHS ]

IT'S PROBABLY MY WIFE.

I SHOULD, UH, I SHOULD TAKE THAT.

UM, MARCUS HERE WILL, UM, ANSWER ANY QUESTIONS YOU MAY HAVE.

YES, I WILL.

HOW ARE YOU FOLKS DOING? I'M MARCUS.

Woman: HI, MARCUS.

OOH! PULLED FOR THE D.H., HOMES.

DADDY, I GOT THIS.

IT'S BEEN AN HOUR, SON.

YEAH, BUT I DON'T NEED MARCUS TO CLOSE FOR ME.

DON'T YOU GET EXCITED. YOU'RE GETTING THE SALE.

DA--

WE NEED TO GET YOU BOTH, SIR. WE NEED TO GET YOU BOTH.

I CAN'T READ ONE DAMN THING ON HERE.

NOT ONE. LOOK AT THIS.

LOOK -- BLURRY. TOTAL BLUR.

NOPE.

OKAY, RIGHT HERE, RIGHT HERE -- IT'S NOT BLURRY ANYMORE,

BUT NOW IT'S TOO FAR AWAY THAT I CAN'T READ IT.

I'M NEVER GONNA KNOW WHAT IT SAYS ON A KETCHUP BOTTLE.

IT'S KETCHUP. WHAT DO YOU GOT TO KNOW ABOUT IT?

WHAT IF IT'S MEDICATION ONE NIGHT?

TAKE IT.

[ CHUCKLES ]

HOW DO YOU EAT THAT MUCH? HOW CAN YOU NOT --

AREN'T YOU SLEEPY? HOW DO YOU NOT NEED A NAP?

THAT'S ANGRY EATING.

IT'S THAT JOB, MAN.

LAST TIME I WAS IN THERE,

HIS FATHER SAID I SHOULD BE A SALESMAN -- NO, THANK YOU.

YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT'S SOMETHING YOU'D ACTUALLY BE GOOD AT.

I COULDN'T TAKE BEING A SALESMAN.

IT'S TOO...SISYPHEAN.

TOO WHAT?

SISYPHEAN.

NO. NO, THAT'S BULLSHIT.

DON'T SAY THAT LIKE WE'RE SUPPOSED TO KNOW WHAT IT MEANS.

YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS?

OH, YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS?

YOU KNOW, I HEAR A LOT OF THINGS THAT I DON'T

KNOW WHAT THEY MEAN,

AND YOU PUT THEM IN A CONTEXT.

BUT I CAN'T -- I STILL DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS.

FROM GREEK MYTHOLOGY, SISYPHUS --

THE GUY WHO KEPT TRYING TO PUSH THE ROCK UP THE HILL,

BUT IT'D KEEP ROLLING DOWN,

AND HE'D HAVE TO START ALL OVER AGAIN.

OH. THAT GUY?

ALL RIGHT. THANK YOU.

OKAY, SO, SALES --

YOU WORK 14-HOUR DAYS KISSING ASS

SO YOU CAN BE NUMBER ONE FOR THE MONTH, RIGHT?

NEXT MONTH COMES ALONG,

THEY WIPE THE SLATE CLEAN -- BACK TO ZERO.

WHAT'S THE POINT?

THE POINT IS, AT THE END OF THE MONTH, THEY GIVE YOU MONEY.

HE JUST LEAVES THAT PART OUT.

YEAH, WHAT'D HE PULL DOWN A YEAR -- SISYPHUS?

OKAY. OKAY. I'M LIVING LIFE WRONG.

LET'S ALL TAKE OUR BLOOD PRESSURES RIGHT NOW.

NO, NO. LOOK. COME ON.

COME ON.

IN MY CASE -- IN MY CASE --

YEAH?

SOMEDAY MY DAD'S GONNA FINALLY GET OUT OF THERE,

AND THEN I'LL -- I'LL MAKE SOMEBODY ELSE

PUSH THE DAMN ROCK.

I MEAN, THAT'S WHAT IT'S ALL ABOUT, RIGHT?

I MEAN, BEING YOUR OWN DAMN BOSS, RIGHT?

LOOK AT YOU. RIGHT?

LOOK HOW ANGRY YOU ARE.

LOOK, IT'S GOOD TO BE THE BOSS. IT IS.

YEAH.

I GUESS.

EVEN WHEN YOU'RE THE BOSS, THOUGH, YOU'RE STILL YOU.

SOMETIMES YOU'RE LIKE, "WHO ARE YOU?"

YOU KNOW, "ALL RIGHT, I'M THE BOSS,

BUT WHO ARE YOU?"

YOU EVER GET THAT -- YOU LOOK IN THE MIRROR

AND YOU'RE LIKE -- YOU KNOW WHO -- YOU SEE YOURSELF.

"I KNOW I'M STANDING HERE. I SEE MYSELF.

AND YOU GET THAT -- THERE'S A LITTLE --

Y-YOU KNOW, YOU RECOGNIZE YOURSELF, BUT...

THEN THERE'S THAT LITTLE BIT OF YOU THAT YOU DON'T.

THIS IS THAT POSSUM SHIT.

CARLOS, WHAT'S GOING ON?

RALPH IS SICK.

AGAIN HE'S SICK?

HE SAY HE WAS ALL NIGHT THROWING UP.

YEAH.

OKAY.

OKAY, CARLOS, YOU KNOW YOU PARK A BLOCK AWAY FROM THE PARTY,

AND YOU WALK UP WITH THE HEAD ON.

Sí.

OKAY?

HEAD ON.

HEAD ON.

OH! SORRY. EXCUSE ME.

MY FAULT. MY FAULT. SORRY.

[ SNORES, GASPS ]

Woman on P.A.: BOB TO SERVICE.

BOB TO SERVICE.

[ SNORING ]

TERRY!

HEY, THERE.

HEY.

WHERE YOU BEEN?

THERE WAS, LIKE, SOME NEW GUY BACK THERE.

YEAH, SORRY. THAT BAD?

HE WAS TERRIBLE.

HE DID THE FOAM LIKE HE WAS AFRAID OF IT.

OH, HE IS AFRAID OF IT.

HE ACTUALLY HAD A COUPLE ACCIDENTS.

OH, YEAH?

ROBERT!

ANYTHING GOOD IN THERE?

YEAH, I CAN, UH, EITHER SIGN UP FOR A CLOWN CLASS...

NICE.

...OR GO ON THIS CRAPPY OPEN CALL.

WOW.

YOU GONNA GO?

OH, YEAH.

NO.

MUST BE NICE.

WHAT?

NO, I MEAN, TO BE ABLE TO TURN DOWN AUDITIONS.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW YOU WERE FAMOUS.

OH. YEAH. I SHOULD HAVE TOLD YOU.

SORRY. I AM VERY BIG.

OH, YEAH. HUGE.

YEAH? NO, THAT IS GREAT.

YEAH.

LOOK, I'M GONNA SOUND A THOUSAND YEARS OLD HERE,

BUT YOU REACH A CERTAIN POINT IN YOUR LIFE,

YOU GOT TO DRAW A LINE.

I GOT IT. YOU'RE RETIRED.

[ Scoffing ] NO!

NO, I TOTALLY GET IT.

YOU ARE TOO OLD FOR THIS SHIT,

AND NOW YOU ARE GONNA START A REALLY AWESOME GARDEN.

GWEN!

OKAY, YOU'RE A WRITER.

WOULD YOU WANT TO WRITE ON "CRY BOBBY"?

YEAH. BECAUSE RIGHT NOW, I'M WRITING ON CUPS.

THIS IS GOOD.

[ CHUCKLES ]

SO...

MOM MAKING DINNER?

ALBERT, HOW WAS SCHOOL -- GOOD?

TOOL SHED?

AW, COME ON.

GUYS, HEADPHONES OFF.

LUCY, COME ON -- YOU TOO. I WANT TO TALK.

I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU GUYS IN A WHILE.

WHAT'S UP?

UH, NOTHING.

I GOT A 98 ON MY BIOLOGY.

YEAH, YEAH!

HOW ABOUT YOU, ALBERT?

YOU SAW "BORAT," RIGHT, DAD?

YES, I DID. TURN IT OFF.

HEY, ALBERT, WHY DON'T YOU TELL DAD

WHY YOU WERE IN THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE TODAY?

WHAT? WHAT HAPPENED?

NOTHING. SHUT UP, UGLY.

ALBERT, TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.

WHAT HAPPENED? ALBERT!

WHAT'D HE DO?

OKAY, ALEXIS SAID THAT HIM AND MATTHEW

WERE IN SCIENCE LAB TOGETHER,

AND YOU KNOW MR. ENRIGHT, WITH THE HEARING-AID THING?

WELL, THEY MADE A BET TO SEE WHO COULD SAY "DILDO"

THE LOUDEST WITHOUT HIM HEARING IT.

"DILDO"?

HOW -- HOW DOES HE EVEN KNOW...

O-OKAY, COME ON, ALBERT.

SEE, THIS IS WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT.

I GOT TO HEAR THIS STUFF. THIS IS IMPORTANT.

DAD, I KNOW.

[ SIGHS ] AND I KNOW I-IT'S YOUR FRIEND,

YOU'RE JUST PLAYING AROUND, BUT...

YOU KNOW, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE REACHING AN AGE NOW --

12, 13...

YOU GOT TO BE CAREFUL. A LOT OF STUFF IS HAPPENING.

YOU KNOW? YOU DON'T EVEN REALIZE IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

YOU DON'T. YOU DON'T KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

UGH.

[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF ]

ALL RIGHT, DAD, BYE. BYE, DAD.

[ LOCKS CLICK ] JUST, GUYS...LISTEN.

THIS GOES FOR YOU, TOO, LUCY.

YOU'RE AT AN AGE...

THERE'S A LOT OF SEXUAL CROSSROADS COMING UP.

OH, GOD.

LOOK, THIS IS A CRUCIAL STRETCH OF YEARS FOR BOTH YOU GUYS.

YOU KNOW, YOUR WHOLE LIFE...

ONE WRONG TURN...

YOU KNOW, WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE,

I HAD A FRIEND, AND -- AND --

AND WE DID A LOT OF STUFF TOGETHER,

A LOT OF THINGS, ALL THE TIME,

AND THEN JUST... ONE GUY JUST GOES ONE WAY

AND ANOTHER GUY GOES ANOTHER WAY.

HE'S DEAD NOW. HE DIED.

HE DIED IN A TUB --

HE DROWNED -- WITH THAT MUCH WATER IN IT.

HIS DOG FOUND HIM.

[ LOCKS CLICK ]

OKAY. BYE. OKAY.

GUYS, I LOVE YOU. LOVE YOU, TOO, DAD.

ALL RIGHT.

[ CAR DOORS CLOSE ]

SEE YOU TOMORROW.

NO, I-I'LL SEE YOU WEDNESDAY. NOT TOMORROW -- WEDNESDAY.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

[ KNOCK ON DOOR ]

COME.

UM, LAWRENCE IS GONNA LOCK CARS FOR ME TONIGHT

SO I CAN TAKE MICHAEL TO THE SOCCER GAME,

SO...SEE YOU TOMORROW.

BRUCE IS GONNA START TRAINING MARCUS

TO TAKE OVER AS SALES MANAGER.

IF YOU HAVE ANY ISSUES, WORK THEM OUT.

I DON'T WANT ANY PROBLEMS DOWN THE ROAD.

[ SCOFFS ]

NO PROBLEM.

GOOD.

[ BRIEFCASE LATCHES CLICK ]

SO, I GUESS THAT -- THAT WHOLE THING

ABOUT KEEPING IT ALL IN THE FAMILY --

THAT'S JUST -- THAT'S JUST BULLSHIT, HUH?

GO AHEAD.

"GO AHEAD"?

[ LAUGHS ]

I GOT TO DO THE TALKING NOW?

[ LAUGHS ]

YOU'RE THE ONE CHANGING THIS SHIT ALL UP.

YOU GO AHEAD. TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON.

WHAT'S GOING ON IS THAT I'M MOVING ON.

I'M TIRED OF WAITING FOR YOU TO PROVE TO ME

THAT YOU'RE THE MAN THAT DESERVES THIS.

[ SCOFFS ]

OH, WHAT?

I'M JUST SUPPOSED TO TURN ALL THIS OVER TO YOU BECAUSE?

DADDY, I WORK MY ASS OFF AROUND HERE.

NO, SIR. NO, SIR. NO, SON.

COMING IN THAT DOOR ALL LATE, LONG LUNCHES,

YOU'RE LEAVING EARLY.

MY NUMBERS ARE AS GOOD AS ANYBODY ELSE'S.

I NEED A FACE FOR THE COMPANY.

MARCUS -- HE WORKS HARD. HE TAKES CARE OF HIMSELF.

YOU -- YOU WALK THROUGH THAT DOOR ALL SLOPPY,

BREATHING HARD JUST WALKING FROM THE CAR,

SHOOTING UP AT YOUR DESK WITH YOUR NEEDLES.

SON, YOU ARE AN EMBARRASSMENT.

[ SOBS ]

[ SNIFFLES ]

OKAY.

Good morning. This is your 6:00 A.M. wake-up call.

THIS IS YOUR 6:00 A.M. WAKE-UP CALL.

Today is Tuesday, April 6. TODAY IS TUESDAY, APRIL 6.

The temperature is...

57! 56.

SHIT.

[ AMERICA'S "VENTURA HIGHWAY" PLAYS ]

MORNING.

EASY, GUYS, EASY.

ALTHOUGH, YOU KNOW,

YESTERDAY, THERE WAS A WOMAN IN THE STORE -- WHOO!

LIKE A FANTASY WOMAN.

LET ME GUESS -- BIG BOOBS?

OH, YEAH, HE LIKES 'EM BIG.

I DO. I DO LIKE 'EM BIG.

ALL RIGHT, UH, YOU WANT TO START OFF A FAST PACE

OR SLOW -- WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

♪ SOME PEOPLE SAY ♪

BRING IT.

♪ THIS TOWN DON'T LOOK GOOD IN SNOW ♪

LET'S GO.

Joe: I DON'T LIKE CRAZY-LOOKING BOOBS, YOU KNOW?

I GOT MY LIMITS.

Terry: OF COURSE YOU DO.

♪ VENTURA HIGHWAY ♪

♪ IN THE SUNSHINE ♪

♪ WHERE THE DAYS... ♪

I SAW MY ASS IN THE MIRROR THE OTHER DAY.

YEAH? HOW WAS IT? NOT GOOD.

I GOT, LIKE, AN EXTRA CREASE WHERE THERE WASN'T ONE.

THAT MUST HAVE BEEN NICE FOR YOU.

OH, YEAH, YOU SEE THESE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD,

LIKE WHERE THERE'S BEEN AN ACCIDENT OR SOMETHING.

OH, HOLD ON.

WHAT, IS THERE A DOMINO'S ON TOP OF THE HILL?

DICK.

[ CHUCKLES ]

ANYWAY, I LOOKED THESE UP ON THE INTERNET.

THEY'RE CALLED "KERNS." CAIRNS.

RIGHT, RIGHT -- CAIRNS.

EACH ROCK REPRESENTS, LIKE, A SPIRITUAL TRIBUTE TO SOMEBODY

OR A MEMORIAL OR SOMETHING.

IT'S PRETTY COOL. YEAH.

NICE. YOU'RE DICKING AROUND WITH KARMA.

YEAH, I'M ALL RIGHT WITH THAT.

YOU'RE NOT ALL RIGHT.

YOU JUST KNOCKED OVER SOME GRANDMOTHER'S SOUL.

[ OWEN WHEEZING ]

HEY.

HEY, MAN.

OH, SHIT! OWEN!

IT'S OKAY. HE'S BREATHING.

HELP ME TURN HIM OVER.

OH, THIS MUST BE A DIABETIC THING.

[ GRUNTS ]

I DON'T HAVE MY CELL.

AND OF COURSE YOU DON'T HAVE A CELL.

YEAH, WELL, I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT GETTING ONE --

ALL RIGHT, SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

LADY! EXCUSE ME. YOU GOT A CELLPHONE?

IT'S IN MY CAR.

BUT, YOU KNOW, THERE'S A HOSPITAL RIGHT DOWN THE ROAD.

OPEN THAT DOOR.

[ GRUNTING ]

FEET IN.

PUSH. PUSH, PUSH.

ALL RIGHT.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

BELT HIM. BELT HIM UP.

[ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

ALL RIGHT, LADY. COME ON, MOVE IT, MOVE IT.

HOLY SHIT. THAT'S HER -- THAT'S THE FANTASY LADY.

Terry: HUH?

HER? YEAH.

FAKE BOOBS, MAN.

NO, THEY'RE NOT.

YEAH, TOTALLY FAKE. NO, LOOK AT THE WAY

THEY MOVE.

WATCH IT!

[ TIRES SCREECH, THUMP ]

LET'S GO.

Woman on P.A.: DR. ROSS TO THE O.R.

DR. ROSS TO THE O.R.

[ MONITOR BEEPING ]

[ SIGHS ]

HEY. HELLO, OWEN.

BUDDY.

HEY, SWEETIE.

HEY.

WHAT HAPPENED?

Doctor: OWEN. OWEN.

I'M DR. ZINN.

YOU HAD A DIABETIC SEIZURE.

HE SAID YOUR BLOOD SUGAR WAS BELOW 40.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO EAT THIS MORNING?

NOTHING.

YOU CAN'T DO THAT, OWEN.

IT'S OKAY. IT'S OKAY.

HEY, DAD. HI, DAD.

HEY.

Dr. Zinn: SO, YOUR BLOOD SUGAR'S ALREADY BACK TO NORMAL,

BUT WE'RE GONNA MONITOR IT FOR THE TIME BEING.

AND THE BROKEN NOSE SHOULD TAKE ABOUT 3 TO 4 WEEKS TO HEAL.

BROKEN NOSE?

YOU FAINTED, DUDE. YOU FELL FLAT ON YOUR FACE.

THAT WAS SCARY.

NO KIDDING.

DID YOU SEE IT?

YES. NO.

NO, HE SAW IT.

WELL, YEAH, I-I --

H-HE COULDN'T SEE IT BECAUSE HE WAS...

HE DID SEE IT.

WE WERE THERE, BUT WE WEREN'T -- I MEAN,

WE WEREN'T CLOSE ENOUGH TO CATCH YOU OR ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

YEAH.

UH...

SAW THE FANTASY WOMAN.

Melissa: WHO'S THE FANTASY WOMAN?

OH, Y-- OH, US?

[ PLAYING CARDS WHOOSH, CHIPS CLATTER ]

[ Dial tone ]

[ DIALING ]

[ Ringing ]

SONIA: Hello?

HEY, IT'S ME.

Oh. Hi.

HEY, I JUST WANTED TO CALL

'CAUSE, WELL, OWEN'S IN THE HOSPITAL.

What?!

IT'S ALL RIGHT. HE'S OKAY.

WE WENT HIKING -- YOU KNOW, I'VE BEEN HIKING A LOT.

UH, BUT I GUESS OWEN DIDN'T HAVE ENOUGH TO EAT OR SOMETHING.

AND, ANYWAY, HE FAINTED.

Oh! YEAH, BUT HE'S OKAY.

Wow.

He could have really gotten hurt.

WELL, HE DID BREAK HIS NOSE.

Really? YEAH.

ACTUALLY, THAT'S WHY I'M CALLING --

THE NOSE WAS OUR FAULT.

ME AND TERRY, WE WERE TAKING HIM TO THE HOSPITAL,

AND WE WERE, UM, ARGUING... ABOUT WHICH WAY TO GO,

AND WE ALMOST HIT A CAR,

AND OWEN HIT HIS NOSE ON THE DASHBOARD.

Oh!

BUT WE TOLD HIM THAT HE HIT IT WHEN HE FAINTED.

Mm.

SHOULD WE TELL HIM THE TRUTH?

Uhh...

I'VE BEEN KIND OF THINKING ABOUT IT.

HEY, YOU WANT TO MEET SOMEWHERE

AND -- AND WE COULD, I DON'T KNOW --

AND WE COULD TALK ABOUT IT?

IT'S JUST BEEN SUCH A WEIRD DAY.

AND I, UH...

YOU KNOW, WE COULD DISCUSS IT A LITTLE, AND...

ALSO...

UH, I QUIT GAMBLING.

AND THEN -- AND THEN THE OWEN THING, I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD TELL HIM OR NOT.

I don't think you need to tell him right now.

Wait until he gets better.

YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT. I DON'T NEED TO TELL HIM.

I should -- I should call Melissa and see how she's doing.

OH, YEAH, YOU SHOULD. YEAH, CALL HER.

Okay. Let me go. I'll do that right now.

Thanks, Joe.

ALL RIGHT, OKAY. ALL RIGHT, BYE-BYE.

Bye.

[ RECEIVER CLICKS ]

[ ELEVATOR BELL DINGS ]

[ ALL REHEARSING LINES ]

Actor: HE'S THE ONE THEY KILLED,

[ Voice breaking ] BUT HOW COME I'M THE ONE WHO FEELS DEAD?

I'M DEAD INSIDE, MOM. I'M DEAD INSIDE.

[ APPLAUSE ]

[ DOOR OPENS ]

THANKS, JON.

WHEW.

UH, LET'S SEE...

TERRY?

I DON'T HAVE TO BE ANYWHERE, IF SOMEBODY WANTS TO --

NO.

NO, THANKS. YOU GO AHEAD, MAN.

[ JUDE'S "OUT OF L.A." PLAYS ]

♪ THIS TOWN'S GOT TO SHAKE DOWN TO ITS ROOTS ♪

♪ AND I DON'T KNOW... ♪

HEY, ANNIE.

HEY!

I JUST AUDITIONED FOR "CRY BOBBY."

NICE! YEP.

GOT TO WAIT AROUND FOR TWO HOURS,

AND THEN SOME GUY IN THE ROOM GETS A STANDING OVATION,

AND THEY'RE LIKE, "TERRY."

OHH. YEAH, IT WAS AWESOME.

THEN I GET IN THE ROOM AND I GET TO DO THE SCENE,

AND THEY SAY, "DO IT AGAIN, ONLY THIS TIME, HOTTER."

HOW DID THAT GO?

ACTUALLY -- ACTUALLY, GOOD. I KIND OF NAILED IT.

REALLY?!

YOU GONNA GET A CALLBACK?

GOD, I HOPE NOT.

ANYWAY, UM...

THANKS FOR THE PUSH.

IT WAS GOOD TO BE OUT THERE...

KINDA.

GOOD.

UH...

AND I WA-- I WAS WONDERING IF --

SURE. OF COURSE. YEAH.

I DIDN'T --

NO, IT'S STILL YES.

UH, I'M SORRY -- WERE YOU NOT ASKING ME OUT?

NO, NO, I WAS.

OKAY, THEN. WELL, I GET OFF AT MIDNIGHT.

MIDNIGHT?

IS THAT TOO LATE FOR YOU?

NO, IT'S FINE.

I'LL, UH, I'LL HAVE MY NURSE WAKE ME.

[ Laughing ] OKAY.

[ MONITOR BEEPING ]

[ OWEN GRUNTS ]

DAMN! [ GRUNTS ]

DADDY'S MAKING WEIRD NOISES.

GUYS, JUST...BE QUIET AND PLAY, ALL RIGHT?

WHAT IS IT, OWIE?

IT'S JUST, UH...

I AM NOT GOING BACK TO THAT PLACE EVER AGAIN.

WELL, WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN MY FATHER SAID THAT I WAS AN EMBARRASSMENT.

THAT MAN.

THAT I DON'T -- I DON'T REPRESENT

A GOOD FACE FOR THE COMPANY, AND --

DO NOT THINK ABOUT YOUR FATHER RIGHT NOW.

OKAY? OKAY.

WE'RE GONNA FIGURE THIS ALL OUT.

I'M NOT GOING BACK TO THAT PLACE.

WELL, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT I'M GONNA DO, BUT I GOT TO DO IT.

I MEAN, I'M 48.

I'M FORTY-MOTHER-OF-SHIT-EIGHT!

OOH! OOH!

Owen: SORRY, GUYS.

WE DON'T USE THOSE KIND OF WORDS, OKAY?

JAMIE SAID "BITCH" ONCE.

I DID NOT, LIAR!

WHEN WE LOST THE RABBIT.

YOU WERE THE ONE WHO LET HIM OUT TO DIG A HOLE!

HE DID DIG A HOLE!

STOP IT!

OKAY, LISTEN.

IF -- IF YOU WANT TO TAKE SOME TIME OFF FROM THE DEALERSHIP,

YOU KNOW, TO TRY TO -- TRY TO FIGURE THINGS OUT,

THEN... I COMPLETELY SUPPORT YOU.

WHEW! THAT'S NOT TRUE. [ SIGHS ]

WHAT?

IT JUST CAME OUT.

LISTEN, YOU JUST -- YOU GOT TO KEEP WORKING,

BECAUSE WE JUST HAD A BABY,

AND WE'VE JUST RENOVATED THE HOUSE.

WE'RE RENOVATING. WELL, OKAY.

WELL, MAYBE NOT RIGHT THIS MINUTE,

BUT IN A MONTH OR TWO, THEN --

OWEN, THE PRIVATE SCHOOLS HAVE JUST STARTED.

WE CAN BARELY GET THROUGH AS IT IS.

I MEAN, I-I COULD GET A JOB,

BUT THEN THE MONEY WOULD JUST GO STRAIGHT TO THE NANNY.

WELL, MAYBE...WHEN THE HOUSE IS DONE AT THE END OF AUGUST.

THAT HOUSE IS NOT GONNA BE DONE BY THE END OF AUGUST.

I MEAN, IT'S NOT EVEN CLOSE, YOU KNOW?

SO LISTEN, YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP ON WORKING, HONEY, YOU KNOW?

I MEAN, THE KIDS.

THAT'S KIND OF WHAT WE'RE DOING, RIGHT? YOU KNOW?

YOU WORK, AND WE GROW OLD TOGETHER,

AND WE'RE HAPPY 'CAUSE WE HAVE MONEY

'CAUSE YOU NEVER QUIT YOUR JOB

WHEN YOU WERE FORTY-MOTHER-OF-SHIT-EIGHT.

RIGHT?

YEAH.

I LIKE YOUR STICKER.

I'M THE HULK.

[ LAUGHS ]

[ SIREN WAILING IN DISTANCE ]

[ ENVELOPE RUSTLES ]

[ VEHICLE APPROACHES, ROCK MUSIC PLAYS LOUDLY ]

[ ENGINE SHUTS OFF, MUSIC STOPS ]

HEY, YOU JOE?

YEAH.

[ CAR DOOR OPENS ]

BURT, RIGHT?

YEAH. I GO BY "MANFRO."

AND, HEY, I DIDN'T KNOW

YOU WERE THE JOE FROM THE STORE.

I BOUGHT SOME SHIT HERE ONCE.

I BOUGHT ONE OF THOSE BIG PLASTIC PUMPKINS.

YOU KNOW, HUGE?

WHAT, FOR A HALLOWEEN PARTY?

NO, JOE, I'M LIVING IN IT.

YEAH -- HALLOWEEN.

HEY, LOOK, MAN, I DON'T MEAN TO RUSH YOU OR NOTHIN',

BUT I GOT TO MEET SOMEBODY OVER THAT DAMN HILL.

SO, I THINK IT'S $2,200?

YEAH, $2,200.

GOOD. GOOD.

HEY, YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS PLACE IS BIGGER THAN I REMEMBER IT.

I DON'T REMEMBER THIS PLACE BEING THIS BIG.

HEY, I DON'T GOT IT.

WHAT?

I DON'T HAVE IT.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY OF IT?

NO.

YOU GOT A STORE, JOE.

YOU GOT TO HAVE SOME MONEY TO PAY, AM I RIGHT?

YEAH.

I DON'T HAVE IT.

AH!

JUST ONCE, CAN THINGS GO EASY FOR ME?

I GOT TO CALL ANGIE NOW.

[ CELLPHONE BEEPS ]

WHAT'S HE GONNA SAY?

"SHE." IT'S MY MOM.

YOUR MOM?

YEAH, MY MOM.

WE RUN THIS SHITBOX TOGETHER, ALL RIGHT?

YEAH, HEY, MA. IT'S ME.

YEAH, LISTEN, THAT JOE GUY --

HE AIN'T GOT THE $2,200.

NONE OF IT.

WHAT? NO. HE'S GOT A STORE. HE'S GOOD FOR IT. YEAH, YEAH.

YOU REMEMBER THAT BIG PUMPKIN I CAME HOME WITH THAT TIME?

YOU REMEMBER IT.

YOU DON'T REMEMBER A 4-FOOT PLASTIC PUMPKIN?

NEVER MIND. I GOT TO GET OVER THE HILL.

AND THE CAR IS ON "E." THANKS A LOT.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

WOULD IT KILL YOU TO CLEAN IT ONCE IN A WHILE?

IT LOOKS LIKE SHIT -- I GOT IT.

WHAT? I GOT THE MONEY.

CALL YOU BACK.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

I GOT THE MONEY. I DIDN'T THINK I HAD IT.

I HAD IT IN MY POCKET.

I THOUGHT IT WAS IN -- I THOUGHT I HAD IT LOCKED UP.

YOU'RE WEIRD, JOE.

$2,200. ALL RIGHT.

GOOD ENOUGH.

SLATE'S CLEAN. BACK TO EVEN, JOE.

YEAH.

LIKE SISYPHUS, RIGHT?

WHAT?

SLATE'S CLEAN. I'M...

I'M PUSH-- I'M AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL,

LIKE THE GREEK GUY.

YEAH, I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELL THAT MEANS.

ANYWAY, GIVE ME A SHOUT IF YOU NEED SOMETHING.

[ CAR DOOR CLOSES ]

HEY, HOLD ON. [ ENGINE TURNS OVER ]

YOU'RE GOING OVER THE HILL, RIGHT?

Joe: LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF WE'RE GONNA FIND HIM,

BUT IF WE DO, YOU'RE OKAY WITH THIS?

Manfro: YEAH, I'LL KILL HIM. I HATE POSSUMS.

POSSUM ATE MY WHOLE TOMATO GARDEN ONCE.

YEAH, BUT THIS WOULD BE A-A GOOD THING.

THIS WOULD BE A MERCY THING.

I'LL STILL DO IT.

I DON'T KNOW IF HE COULD HAVE GOT THIS FAR.

SHIT. THAT'S HIM.

WOW!

THAT'S A BIG MOTHER.

YEAH.

I THINK YOU'RE GOOD, JOE.

THAT THING'S DEAD.

YEAH.

HE'S DEAD.

IT'S BEEN FUN.

HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.

JUST, UH...

HERE -- DO ME A FAVOR. HOLD THIS LIGHT FOR ME.

RIGHT OVER HERE. I JUST WANT TO DO SOMETHING.

YOU'RE A LITTLE WEIRD, JOE.

Marcus: I'M TELLING YOU, THE BULLS GAVE THE LAKERS

ALL THEY COULD HANDLE.

HEY, IN HIGH SCHOOL, I MADE A SHOT ON KIRK HINRICH.

MADE A LAYUP.

YOU DIDN'T PLAY NO BASKETBALL IN HIGH SCHOOL.

WHAT, YOUR HIGH SCHOOL HAD A MIDGET BASKETBALL TEAM?

HE WAS FRIENDS WITH MY BROTHER.

YOUR BROTHER NEVER KNEW KIRK.

Looks like somebody's having a bad day.

OWEN KIND OF LOOKS LIKE MIKE TYSON

AFTER THE BUSTER DOUGLAS FIGHT.

[ LIGHT LAUGHTER ]

GOOD ONE.

DUCKS ON THE POND, GENTLEMEN.

OH, NO, NO, NO, LITTLE LAWRENCE.

THIS ONE'S ALL MINE, BABY. SHUCKY DUCKY QUACK QUACK.

YOU'RE IN LUCK, BOSS.

I'M WEARING MY DUCK-HUNTING SUIT.

WATCH AND LEARN, FELLAS.

WHATEVER, MAN.

WATCH AND LEARN.

FEEL FREE TO TAKE SOME NOTES IF Y'ALL WANT --

OH, SHIT!

HOW YOU DOING?

HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

[ LAUGHTER ]

STOP TOUCHING ME. STOP TOUCHING ME.

[ LAUGHTER CONTINUES ]

THIS IS AN $800 SUIT! THIS IS NOT FUNNY!

[ THE MARMALADES' "REFLECTIONS OF MY LIFE"

PLAYS LOUDLY IN EARPHONES ]

GOOD MORNING.

[ Loudly ] GOOD MORNING!

♪ I'M CHANGING, ARRANGING ♪

♪ I'M CHANGING, I'M CHANGING ♪

♪ EVERYTHING ♪

♪ OH, EVERYTHING AROUND ME ♪