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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:34,993 --> 00:00:36,404 (indistinct conversations) 2 00:00:36,495 --> 00:00:38,907 ("The Oogum Boogum Song" playing) 3 00:00:45,003 --> 00:00:46,164 SIMON: I'm just like you. 4 00:00:46,380 --> 00:00:48,417 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 5 00:00:48,507 --> 00:00:50,293 Happy birthday No! ' 6 00:00:50,467 --> 00:00:52,549 SIMON: My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 7 00:00:52,678 --> 00:00:54,589 who married the hot Valedictorian. 8 00:00:55,722 --> 00:00:57,508 And, no, they didn't peak in high school. 9 00:00:57,891 --> 00:00:59,177 -(car door closes) -(horn honks) 10 00:00:59,309 --> 00:01:00,549 I have a sister I actually like. 11 00:01:00,769 --> 00:01:01,930 Not that I'd ever tell her that. 12 00:01:02,104 --> 00:01:04,641 And last year, and 200 episodes of Chopped ago... 13 00:01:04,731 --> 00:01:06,347 she decided she wanted to be a chef. 14 00:01:06,650 --> 00:01:08,982 Which means we're pretty much all her test subjects now. 15 00:01:16,076 --> 00:01:17,157 EMILY: Is it spicy, Jack? 16 00:01:17,286 --> 00:01:18,151 (spits) 17 00:01:18,287 --> 00:01:20,119 Oh! Gracious. Oh, my gosh. 18 00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:21,787 SIMON: And then there's my friends. 19 00:01:23,917 --> 00:01:26,875 Two of them, I've known since pretty much the beginning of time. 20 00:01:27,212 --> 00:01:29,249 - Or at least kindergarten. - No.No. 21 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,583 - LEAH: Oh! Sorry! - Okay. How 'bout that? 22 00:01:31,008 --> 00:01:32,464 (crowd cheering) 23 00:01:32,968 --> 00:01:35,005 SIMON: One of them, I just met a few months ago, 24 00:01:35,095 --> 00:01:36,631 but it feels like I've known her forever. 25 00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,129 We do everything friends do. 26 00:01:38,265 --> 00:01:40,051 We drink way too much iced coffee, 27 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:42,429 watch bad '90s movies and hang out at Waffle House 28 00:01:42,519 --> 00:01:44,726 dreaming of college and gorging on carbs. 29 00:01:45,272 --> 00:01:46,683 (cheering continues) 30 00:01:58,160 --> 00:01:59,321 SIMON: So, like I said. 31 00:02:00,412 --> 00:02:01,573 I'm just like you. 32 00:02:01,747 --> 00:02:04,114 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 33 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,122 Except I have one huge—ass secret. 34 00:02:25,562 --> 00:02:27,428 -(knocking on door) - Hey! Morning! Oh! 35 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:29,396 - Hey! - Sorry. 36 00:02:29,524 --> 00:02:30,810 I didn't realize you were masturbating. 37 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:31,936 Yeah, very funny. 38 00:02:32,194 --> 00:02:33,355 Your sister's downstairs making some 39 00:02:33,445 --> 00:02:35,527 Ia-di-da pancake thing she saw on Top Chef, 40 00:02:35,614 --> 00:02:37,070 so we should probably go eat that. 41 00:02:37,324 --> 00:02:38,780 Great. I'll be down in just a second. 42 00:02:38,909 --> 00:02:41,822 Okay. Right after you finish searching the internet for... 43 00:02:42,329 --> 00:02:44,445 lingerie photos of Gigi Habib? 44 00:02:44,790 --> 00:02:46,952 (scoffs) It's Hadid. 45 00:02:47,459 --> 00:02:49,746 Right. I didn't realize she was your girlfriend. 46 00:02:49,836 --> 00:02:50,951 All right, finish up here. 47 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,378 You got me. 48 00:03:00,138 --> 00:03:02,095 (indistinct chatter) 49 00:03:02,849 --> 00:03:03,839 Morning, guys. 50 00:03:03,934 --> 00:03:04,969 Simon, have a seat, honey. 51 00:03:05,060 --> 00:03:06,221 Morning, Simon. You gotta eat your breakfast. 52 00:03:06,311 --> 00:03:07,221 Please don't tell me 53 00:03:07,312 --> 00:03:09,019 that breakfast is the most important meal of the day 54 00:03:09,106 --> 00:03:11,063 because that is just so cliché. You're better than that. 55 00:03:11,191 --> 00:03:13,353 I was gonna say breakfast lowers LDL cholesterol 56 00:03:13,443 --> 00:03:15,229 and prevents ﬂuctuating glucose levels 57 00:03:15,320 --> 00:03:16,776 that lead to type two diabetes. Oh! 58 00:03:17,489 --> 00:03:18,354 Touché. 59 00:03:19,157 --> 00:03:21,194 Nora. These are incredible. 60 00:03:21,451 --> 00:03:23,283 Cornmeal pancakes with blackberry compote. 61 00:03:24,413 --> 00:03:25,494 But they're not crumbly enough. 62 00:03:25,747 --> 00:03:27,579 Stop it. They're perfect. 63 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:28,868 (Nora sighs) 64 00:03:28,959 --> 00:03:29,915 Eat up, Bieber. 65 00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,458 Okay, I didn't put very much powder- 66 00:03:31,545 --> 00:03:32,785 - See you, guys. - JACK: See you, Simon. 67 00:03:32,879 --> 00:03:34,745 EMILY: Hey, honey. Be back by seven! It's TV night. 68 00:03:43,265 --> 00:03:44,926 (leaf blower whirs) 69 00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:48,551 Hey! 70 00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:50,136 Morning! 71 00:03:50,647 --> 00:03:52,308 It's Simon! I live right here! 72 00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:55,599 I like your boots! 73 00:03:58,905 --> 00:03:59,986 Okay, bye! 74 00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:06,990 -(sighs) -(horn honks) 75 00:04:08,290 --> 00:04:09,496 God damn. 76 00:04:20,427 --> 00:04:22,589 ("Rollercoaster" playing) 77 00:04:28,935 --> 00:04:30,175 Yo! Yo! 78 00:04:30,437 --> 00:04:32,223 Had the craziest dream last night. 79 00:04:32,314 --> 00:04:34,225 Hey, Nick, you have the craziest dream every night. 80 00:04:34,483 --> 00:04:35,848 NICK: You don't understand. I'm in this cave, right? 81 00:04:35,942 --> 00:04:37,023 Or maybe it's in outer space. 82 00:04:37,110 --> 00:04:38,646 David Beckham is there with these two contact lenses 83 00:04:38,904 --> 00:04:41,111 and then like, blue one or red one, like he's a sexy 84 00:04:41,323 --> 00:04:42,563 Morpheus from Matrix. 85 00:04:42,657 --> 00:04:44,113 And I don't know which one to pick. 86 00:04:44,201 --> 00:04:45,737 I don't know what to do with these things. 87 00:04:46,036 --> 00:04:48,448 Oh, my God. Have you guys seen CreekSecrets today? 88 00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:50,537 First of all, you are obsessed with that blog, so... 89 00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,202 LEAH: Okay, but apparently, Becca Peterson 90 00:04:52,459 --> 00:04:55,076 got caught giving Ryan O'Donovan an HJ in the pool. 91 00:04:55,337 --> 00:04:56,953 That's the real reason they drained it. 92 00:04:57,047 --> 00:04:58,879 - Man, our janitor needs a raise. - LEAH: Oh, my God. 93 00:04:59,090 --> 00:05:00,580 -And an HPV vaccine. —(Nick laughs) 94 00:05:01,510 --> 00:05:02,750 NICK: Leah, I have this dream, right? 95 00:05:02,844 --> 00:05:04,209 LEAH: Nick, we have a rule, remember? 96 00:05:04,304 --> 00:05:05,965 No analyzing dreams before coffee. 97 00:05:09,434 --> 00:05:11,345 Hi, could we get four iced coffees, please? 98 00:05:11,436 --> 00:05:13,177 Oh, could you get Abby's with milk? She likes milk. 99 00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:15,604 One with milk. What are you, her barista? 100 00:05:16,483 --> 00:05:19,191 (chuckles) It's not hard to remember "with milk." 101 00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:24,855 SIMON: Thank you. 102 00:05:32,249 --> 00:05:33,330 ABBY: Hey! 103 00:05:36,127 --> 00:05:37,413 Hey- Hey- 104 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:40,170 (gasps) Oh, thank you. I am figuratively dying. 105 00:05:40,257 --> 00:05:42,043 So, Abby, last night I dreamt 106 00:05:42,217 --> 00:05:43,673 I put the wrong contacts in my eyes. 107 00:05:43,802 --> 00:05:45,884 Another dream. You're like... SIMON: Hmm. 108 00:05:45,971 --> 00:05:47,052 You're like the love child of 109 00:05:47,264 --> 00:05:49,596 Sigmund Freud and Cristiano Ronaldo. 110 00:05:49,850 --> 00:05:51,261 Oh, my God. Thanks. 111 00:05:51,476 --> 00:05:53,058 Now, look. I can't see anything 112 00:05:53,144 --> 00:05:54,634 and I'm stumbling around in this cave, 113 00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:57,016 crashing into stuff, and then, I wake up. 114 00:05:57,482 --> 00:05:59,064 - That's it? - NICK: Yeah. 115 00:05:59,818 --> 00:06:01,650 Maybe it's something that you're not seeing clearly. 116 00:06:01,736 --> 00:06:03,443 Like something that's, like, right in front of your face. 117 00:06:04,030 --> 00:06:05,361 What am I not seeing? 118 00:06:06,324 --> 00:06:07,814 (exhales) No idea. 119 00:06:09,077 --> 00:06:11,284 ("Love me" playing) 120 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:14,826 Ooh! Ooh! 121 00:06:21,172 --> 00:06:22,754 (indistinct chatter) 122 00:06:45,947 --> 00:06:47,984 We should be hot Pokémon for Halloween. 123 00:06:48,074 --> 00:06:50,156 Oh, yeah. But I get to be slutty Charmander. 124 00:06:50,410 --> 00:06:51,616 Cool scarf, Ethan. 125 00:06:51,870 --> 00:06:53,452 Hope it doesn't get caught in your vagina. 126 00:06:53,622 --> 00:06:55,613 Great choice on the cargo pants, by the way. 127 00:06:55,707 --> 00:06:57,948 It looks like you got gangbanged by a T.J. Maxx. 128 00:06:58,126 --> 00:06:59,287 Whatever, fag. (laughs) 129 00:07:01,379 --> 00:07:02,790 ETHAN (exhales): Honestly, it's just 130 00:07:02,881 --> 00:07:04,417 not even a challenge anymore. 131 00:07:04,633 --> 00:07:05,714 LEAH: Dicks. 132 00:07:05,800 --> 00:07:07,632 Wish Ethan wouldn't make it so easy for them. 133 00:07:07,928 --> 00:07:09,089 Yeah, well, at my old school, 134 00:07:09,179 --> 00:07:10,544 that would have been settled with a knife fight. 135 00:07:10,639 --> 00:07:14,758 -(bell rings) - Good morning, Creekwood High! 136 00:07:14,851 --> 00:07:16,182 Come on, phones off! 137 00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:17,722 There's a whole world to look at! 138 00:07:18,146 --> 00:07:19,682 You can look people in the eyes! 139 00:07:19,981 --> 00:07:22,143 (groans) Gah! Yeah. 140 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:23,731 Stop with the selfies. You're not all that. 141 00:07:23,860 --> 00:07:25,350 I'll see you guys at lunch. Yeah. 142 00:07:25,487 --> 00:07:27,945 Wow! Simonay. 143 00:07:28,114 --> 00:07:29,650 Look at those new kicks, my brother. 144 00:07:29,741 --> 00:07:31,857 Where'd you get those? Where could I get a pair of those? 145 00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,113 I forget. Sorry. You forget? 146 00:07:33,203 --> 00:07:34,568 Come on, you gotta let me know the brand! 147 00:07:34,663 --> 00:07:35,994 I want to be sneaker brothers. 148 00:07:36,164 --> 00:07:40,203 Oh, I see more phones! Who took your phones now? 149 00:07:40,335 --> 00:07:44,795 Me! Me! Me took your phones now! You can get 'em at my office! 150 00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,752 I can't believe we have to be off book, in like, two weeks. 151 00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:49,959 Seriously, Sally Bowles never shuts the eff up. 152 00:07:50,220 --> 00:07:51,631 SIMON: Don't you wish you were talentless like me? 153 00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:52,836 Here. Let me show you a thing or two. 154 00:07:52,931 --> 00:07:54,171 SIMON: Because then you could just be living 155 00:07:54,391 --> 00:07:55,847 the easy life as company member number eight. 156 00:07:55,976 --> 00:07:56,841 (Abby laughs) 157 00:07:57,143 --> 00:07:58,804 Well, well, well... 158 00:07:59,396 --> 00:08:01,512 If it isn't my fellow thespians. 159 00:08:02,440 --> 00:08:03,305 Hey, Martin. 160 00:08:03,692 --> 00:08:05,649 Hey, Spier. Hey, Abby. 161 00:08:06,152 --> 00:08:07,017 Hi. 162 00:08:07,404 --> 00:08:09,065 Excited to rehearse with you later. 163 00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:11,571 Hey, uh, so, fun fact. 164 00:08:11,658 --> 00:08:13,740 You know that Cabaret was actually based off a play 165 00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:14,817 called I Am Camera? 166 00:08:14,953 --> 00:08:17,365 Then I Am a Camera was based off this novel 167 00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,987 called Goodbye to Berlin. 168 00:08:19,082 --> 00:08:21,073 And Goodbye to Berlin was actually based off 169 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:22,540 Christopher Isherwood's 170 00:08:22,961 --> 00:08:24,747 -early years in Berlin. -(bell rings) 171 00:08:25,005 --> 00:08:26,871 Wow. That's awesome. I have homeroom. 172 00:08:26,965 --> 00:08:27,875 Yeah. All right. 173 00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,339 Well, I think she found that interesting. 174 00:08:29,426 --> 00:08:30,461 Bye, Martin. 175 00:08:30,969 --> 00:08:32,459 Bye, big boy. (chuckles) 176 00:08:33,847 --> 00:08:35,804 Suraj! Now. 177 00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,799 Come on. You know the drill. 178 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:42,553 EMILY: I've had an inspiration. How about The Affair? 179 00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,435 No. No. We cannot watch The Affair as a family. 180 00:08:45,567 --> 00:08:46,523 Why not? 181 00:08:46,651 --> 00:08:48,141 Because it's all about sex. 182 00:08:48,528 --> 00:08:50,610 Oh, well, God forbid we should watch people make love. 183 00:08:50,697 --> 00:08:51,528 Oh, God. 184 00:08:51,781 --> 00:08:54,068 Oh, my God. You guys are so repressed. 185 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:57,325 Don't therapize us, okay? We are not your patients. 186 00:08:57,412 --> 00:08:58,573 - We're your family. - EMILY: That's true. 187 00:08:58,705 --> 00:09:00,867 If you were my patients, you'd be much more well-adjusted. 188 00:09:01,082 --> 00:09:03,039 Oh. Nice therapy burn, baby. Thank you. 189 00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,167 She got you. You know what? 190 00:09:05,378 --> 00:09:07,119 We didn't see last week's episode of The Bachelor. 191 00:09:07,422 --> 00:09:09,004 How did that guy even become the bachelor? 192 00:09:09,090 --> 00:09:09,955 Why? 193 00:09:10,091 --> 00:09:11,456 Well, he's clearly gay. 194 00:09:11,760 --> 00:09:13,501 NORA: No, he's not. Really? 195 00:09:13,636 --> 00:09:15,502 - He's handsome. - That date, where he took the girl 196 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,094 to the "make your own perfume" place? 197 00:09:17,182 --> 00:09:18,968 Dad! The producers plan those dates. 198 00:09:19,059 --> 00:09:20,094 He is so fruity. He's so fruity. 199 00:09:20,393 --> 00:09:22,384 He's a one-man pride parade. Are you kidding me? 200 00:09:22,645 --> 00:09:24,056 -He has more chemistry -Just stop it. 201 00:09:24,147 --> 00:09:26,434 with Chris Harrison than any of those girls. 202 00:09:28,109 --> 00:09:29,691 (whispers) After this, I gotta show you something. 203 00:09:30,236 --> 00:09:31,692 Okay? Let's watch The Americans. 204 00:09:31,780 --> 00:09:33,612 EMILY: Every single episode, you here next to me. 205 00:09:33,865 --> 00:09:35,355 So your mother decided that we should make 206 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:36,906 each other anniversary presents this year. 207 00:09:36,993 --> 00:09:39,200 You know, so they came from the heart, or some crap. 208 00:09:39,370 --> 00:09:41,657 Anyway, I decided to come up with this bad boy. 209 00:09:41,790 --> 00:09:42,655 Look at this. 210 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:45,533 I present to you, a Jack Spier production. 211 00:09:45,877 --> 00:09:47,038 -(mouse clicks) —("Heaven" playing) 212 00:09:50,381 --> 00:09:51,246 Wait, wait. 213 00:09:52,175 --> 00:09:53,040 Look at that! 214 00:09:53,593 --> 00:09:55,129 Oh, it's so good. 215 00:10:00,767 --> 00:10:02,098 Look at this. Wait, wait, wait. 216 00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,306 SIMON: Yup. Okay. 217 00:10:06,564 --> 00:10:07,429 (stops video) 218 00:10:07,774 --> 00:10:08,809 What are you... 219 00:10:09,067 --> 00:10:11,559 Look, this is your 20th anniversary, 220 00:10:11,694 --> 00:10:13,355 so I'm gonna be super real with you right now. 221 00:10:13,863 --> 00:10:15,649 This looks like a fourth grader made it. 222 00:10:15,824 --> 00:10:18,191 And not even the smartest fourth grader in the class. 223 00:10:18,451 --> 00:10:20,067 Just, like, a deeply average fourth grader. 224 00:10:20,161 --> 00:10:21,822 What are you talking about? This is amazing. 225 00:10:22,080 --> 00:10:23,991 I got fade-ins. I got dissolves. 226 00:10:24,249 --> 00:10:25,660 -This is beautiful. -Get up for a second. 227 00:10:25,750 --> 00:10:27,115 I'll help you. Trust me. 228 00:10:27,418 --> 00:10:29,034 We can make this good. We just gotta put in... 229 00:10:29,921 --> 00:10:31,411 you know, some home video. 230 00:10:32,132 --> 00:10:34,794 Maybe put in some better music. 231 00:10:35,093 --> 00:10:37,334 "Better music"? This was huge when we were young. 232 00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,674 Yeah. So was Bill Cosby. 233 00:10:39,806 --> 00:10:41,843 ("Waterloo Sunset" playing) 234 00:10:45,562 --> 00:10:49,772 (cell phone ringing) 235 00:10:52,735 --> 00:10:54,692 - Hey. - Have you seen the new post? 236 00:10:54,946 --> 00:10:56,311 No. What? Oh, my God. 237 00:10:56,447 --> 00:10:57,858 You know, I'm never getting back in that pool again. 238 00:10:58,116 --> 00:11:00,153 Wait, no. About the closeted gay kid at school. 239 00:11:03,246 --> 00:11:04,111 What? 240 00:11:04,789 --> 00:11:06,154 LEAH: Yeah, it's on CreekSecrets. 241 00:11:16,050 --> 00:11:17,586 -LEAH: Who do you think it is? -(exhales) 242 00:11:17,719 --> 00:11:19,460 I bet it's that sophomore with the rimless glasses. 243 00:11:19,554 --> 00:11:20,419 I get a vibe. 244 00:11:21,055 --> 00:11:22,090 -Actually. -H m m. 245 00:11:22,223 --> 00:11:23,930 Maybe it's Parker O'Malley. 246 00:11:24,309 --> 00:11:25,970 I've heard he's, like, obsessed with Les Mis. 247 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:27,676 Oh, gosh. Jeez. I gotta go. 248 00:11:27,770 --> 00:11:29,431 Bieber just took a dump on the floor. 249 00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:30,687 LEAH: Aw, Beebs. 250 00:11:30,773 --> 00:11:32,013 - Feed him some rice... - Can I call you back? 251 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,395 SIMON: "Sometimes I feel like I'm stuck on a Ferris wheel. 252 00:11:38,823 --> 00:11:40,279 One minute I'm on top of the world, 253 00:11:40,408 --> 00:11:41,648 and the next, I'm at rock bottom. 254 00:11:41,868 --> 00:11:44,155 Over and over, all day long. 255 00:11:44,370 --> 00:11:46,202 Because a lot of my life is great, 256 00:11:46,331 --> 00:11:47,742 but nobody knows I'm gay. 257 00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:49,323 Blue. " 258 00:11:50,335 --> 00:11:51,291 (exhales) 259 00:12:33,503 --> 00:12:34,413 (clears throat) 260 00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:41,211 Blue. Okay. 261 00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:43,669 (exhales) 262 00:12:51,938 --> 00:12:53,895 SIMON: Dear Blue, I'm just like you. 263 00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:55,897 For the most part, my life is totally normal. 264 00:12:55,984 --> 00:12:57,474 My dad was the annoyingly handsome quarterback 265 00:12:57,568 --> 00:12:58,854 who married the hot Valedictorian. 266 00:12:58,945 --> 00:13:00,276 And no, they didn't peak in high school. 267 00:13:00,405 --> 00:13:02,362 I have a sister] actually like. Not that I'd ever tell her that. 268 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:04,231 And then, there's my friends. 269 00:13:04,325 --> 00:13:06,532 We do everything friends do. We drink way too much... 270 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,485 So, like I said, I'm just like you. 271 00:13:08,830 --> 00:13:11,071 I have a totally, perfectly normal life. 272 00:13:11,749 --> 00:13:13,490 Except I have one huge—ass secret. 273 00:13:38,443 --> 00:13:39,524 Jacques. 274 00:13:51,581 --> 00:13:53,288 (panting) 275 00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,456 Hey. Morning. 276 00:13:58,087 --> 00:13:58,952 (cell phone chimes) 277 00:14:09,223 --> 00:14:10,088 (Sighs) 278 00:14:11,225 --> 00:14:12,090 Nothin'. 279 00:14:16,272 --> 00:14:17,979 TEACHER: Math is what we're talking about. 280 00:14:18,066 --> 00:14:20,899 Can anyone answer for me how we find the value 281 00:14:21,027 --> 00:14:22,688 of "d—y by d—x" 282 00:14:22,987 --> 00:14:24,978 that I have written up on the board? 283 00:14:25,865 --> 00:14:27,731 Does anyone want to... Yes! Simon. 284 00:14:28,785 --> 00:14:29,866 Can I go to the bathroom? 285 00:14:30,620 --> 00:14:31,951 Sure, it's ﬁne. 286 00:14:32,038 --> 00:14:33,028 Thanks. 287 00:14:54,811 --> 00:14:55,767 (Sighs) 288 00:14:57,522 --> 00:14:59,513 Simon. Simon. 289 00:15:00,316 --> 00:15:02,148 - Yeah. - Can I get some fries? 290 00:15:02,652 --> 00:15:04,484 -Oh, yeah. —BRAM: Yeah? Thanks. 291 00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:06,565 GARRETT: I'm telling you, the Oakwood Tigers 292 00:15:06,656 --> 00:15:08,442 score so many goals because they shave their legs. 293 00:15:08,616 --> 00:15:10,357 Garrett, I'm not gonna shave my legs. 294 00:15:10,618 --> 00:15:12,529 It makes their kicks more aerodynamic. 295 00:15:13,037 --> 00:15:15,654 -We can just do extra burpees, man. -Whatever, Bram. 296 00:15:15,790 --> 00:15:19,454 Guys, I just found a press—on nail in my salad. 297 00:15:20,753 --> 00:15:21,868 BOTH: Debbie. 298 00:15:22,672 --> 00:15:23,707 (indistinct chatter) 299 00:15:26,926 --> 00:15:28,587 Why is there no cell reception at this school? 300 00:15:29,178 --> 00:15:30,259 I swear to God. 301 00:15:36,811 --> 00:15:39,098 Simonay, Simonay. Hey. 302 00:15:39,272 --> 00:15:41,229 What are you doing? You can't text in the halls. 303 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:42,476 How many times have I told you that? 304 00:15:42,608 --> 00:15:44,394 I can't have all my students Tindering it up. 305 00:15:44,485 --> 00:15:45,350 That's my department. 306 00:15:45,445 --> 00:15:46,560 Right. (laughing) 307 00:15:46,654 --> 00:15:47,564 It actually is. 308 00:15:47,697 --> 00:15:49,529 I got a really hot date on Tinder tonight. 309 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:51,196 She is cute! 310 00:15:51,826 --> 00:15:55,785 "Ew! Vice principals can't go on dates. That's gross." 311 00:15:55,955 --> 00:15:57,286 We're people too, Simon. 312 00:15:57,623 --> 00:15:59,330 We like to go out. We like to have a good time. 313 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,408 We like to have sex. That's not a big deal, right? 314 00:16:01,502 --> 00:16:02,788 Yeah, no. No biggie at all. 315 00:16:02,879 --> 00:16:04,461 Actually, you know, I totally see you as a person. 316 00:16:04,547 --> 00:16:05,753 Thank you. I appreciate that. Yeah. 317 00:16:05,840 --> 00:16:07,126 Thank you very much. You're welcome. 318 00:16:07,216 --> 00:16:08,297 Seriously. Yeah. Yeah. 319 00:16:08,384 --> 00:16:09,499 Could I just get my phone though? 320 00:16:09,594 --> 00:16:11,005 No. Unfortunately, I'm gonna have to keep it 321 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:12,051 until after play practice. 322 00:16:12,180 --> 00:16:13,591 But you will get your precious 323 00:16:13,723 --> 00:16:15,305 after play practice, okay? I promise. 324 00:16:15,725 --> 00:16:17,056 So how's play practice going? 325 00:16:17,143 --> 00:16:18,884 - SIMON: Great. Yeah, it's... - MR. WORTH: How's Ms. Albright? 326 00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,517 SIMON: She's good. 327 00:16:20,605 --> 00:16:22,471 MR. WORTH: She's good? She doesn't like men. 328 00:16:22,857 --> 00:16:26,566 ♪ Willkommen, bienvenue ♪ 329 00:16:26,777 --> 00:16:31,988 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 330 00:16:32,074 --> 00:16:32,939 (laughs) 331 00:16:33,159 --> 00:16:39,075 ♪ Au cabaret, to cabaret ♪ 332 00:16:47,381 --> 00:16:48,963 (claps) 333 00:16:49,467 --> 00:16:50,332 Okay- 334 00:16:50,593 --> 00:16:54,837 Those aren't actual claps. My hands are tired! (chuckles) 335 00:16:55,306 --> 00:16:57,172 Okay! All right. 336 00:16:57,600 --> 00:16:58,761 That was... 337 00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:01,513 Cal, help me. That was... 338 00:17:01,646 --> 00:17:02,681 That was a start? 339 00:17:02,772 --> 00:17:05,059 That was a start! Is what it was. 340 00:17:05,316 --> 00:17:06,306 That was a start. 341 00:17:06,400 --> 00:17:08,937 You know, when Mr. Worth told me that no student, 342 00:17:09,237 --> 00:17:10,898 regardless of talent... (chuckles) 343 00:17:11,656 --> 00:17:14,193 ...was to be left out of my production, I had my doubts. 344 00:17:14,575 --> 00:17:16,111 Yes, I did. (chuckles) 345 00:17:16,953 --> 00:17:17,988 Yeah. 346 00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:21,203 That's it. That's my whole speech. 347 00:17:21,415 --> 00:17:22,450 TAYLOR: Ms. Albright. 348 00:17:22,708 --> 00:17:23,618 Hi. 349 00:17:23,709 --> 00:17:26,542 That was the biggest train wreck our stage has ever seen. 350 00:17:26,629 --> 00:17:28,165 And Rob and Brianne were practically 351 00:17:28,256 --> 00:17:29,246 dry humping the whole song. 352 00:17:29,674 --> 00:17:30,755 MS. ALBRIGHT: Oh, I saw. 353 00:17:31,259 --> 00:17:34,217 Save the kissing for the cast party. All right? 354 00:17:34,554 --> 00:17:38,013 This is war. You're Nazis. Okay? More anger. 355 00:17:38,599 --> 00:17:41,717 Suraj, stop pretending that trumpet is your penis! 356 00:17:42,019 --> 00:17:43,134 - My boy. -(all laughing) 357 00:17:44,063 --> 00:17:45,053 It is a rental. 358 00:17:47,191 --> 00:17:50,434 I was an extra in The Lion King, and this is where I am. 359 00:17:52,989 --> 00:17:54,479 Hey. What time is it? 360 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:57,156 Ten minutes since the last time you asked. Go. 361 00:17:57,743 --> 00:17:59,950 One! Two! Three! Four! 362 00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,494 ABBY: ♪ Welcome... ♪ 363 00:18:02,582 --> 00:18:03,788 MS. ALBRIGHT: I will kill you. 364 00:18:04,750 --> 00:18:06,866 Oy, yoy, yoy, yoy, yo! 365 00:18:07,211 --> 00:18:08,952 - Mr. Worth. - Hey, what's up, my brother? 366 00:18:09,046 --> 00:18:10,457 Hey, just here for my phone. 367 00:18:10,673 --> 00:18:12,710 Oh, of course you are. Of course you are. 368 00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:14,214 How'd you enjoy being unplugged? 369 00:18:14,427 --> 00:18:15,337 It was great. 370 00:18:15,595 --> 00:18:16,585 - Great, right? - Yeah. 371 00:18:16,679 --> 00:18:18,295 This isn't life, man. This is plugged. 372 00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:19,970 -This is unplugged. -Mm-hmm. 373 00:18:20,099 --> 00:18:22,636 -Plugged. Unplugged- -Yep. 374 00:18:22,935 --> 00:18:24,926 All right, Simon, I know that I'm hard on you. I really do. 375 00:18:25,146 --> 00:18:26,227 SIMON: Mm—hmm. 376 00:18:26,314 --> 00:18:28,897 But it's only 'cause I really see myself in you. 377 00:18:29,317 --> 00:18:31,809 Uh... You know, I don't know if I'd say that. 378 00:18:32,153 --> 00:18:33,939 No, I see it, it's obvious. It's obvious. 379 00:18:34,322 --> 00:18:35,187 I know there's a lot 380 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:36,859 going on there, man. Yup. 381 00:18:36,991 --> 00:18:38,231 And I bet you got a lot of questions. 382 00:18:38,326 --> 00:18:39,908 Is there something you wanna say to me? 383 00:18:40,661 --> 00:18:41,867 No. You know my policy. 384 00:18:42,038 --> 00:18:43,119 What does it say? 385 00:18:43,873 --> 00:18:45,614 -"Open door. Open ears." -"Open door. Open ears." 386 00:18:46,500 --> 00:18:47,911 There's nothing you want to say? 387 00:18:48,377 --> 00:18:49,617 -Nope. —You sure? 388 00:18:50,004 --> 00:18:50,869 Yeah. Okay. 389 00:18:50,963 --> 00:18:52,294 It's a great sign though. Thank you. 390 00:18:52,381 --> 00:18:53,587 Thank you. Now don't text and drive. 391 00:18:53,674 --> 00:18:54,914 That's how my cat got murdered. 392 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:56,462 Okay. (laughs) 393 00:18:56,719 --> 00:18:59,051 I'm just kidding. I don't have cats. I got asthma. 394 00:19:14,278 --> 00:19:15,143 (Sighs) 395 00:19:17,365 --> 00:19:18,526 BLUE: A secret, huh? 396 00:19:18,783 --> 00:19:20,273 Is it the same as my secret? 397 00:19:20,826 --> 00:19:22,658 If it is, when did you know? 398 00:19:22,953 --> 00:19:25,365 -Have you told anyone? Blue. —(horn honking) 399 00:19:27,875 --> 00:19:28,740 Okay- 400 00:19:41,889 --> 00:19:44,347 SIMON: No, Blue. I haven't told anyone. 401 00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:47,221 And, honestly, I can't even really explain why. 402 00:19:48,854 --> 00:19:50,970 Deep down, I know my family would be ﬁne with it. 403 00:19:51,107 --> 00:19:53,189 Hey, what rhymes with "patriarchy"? 404 00:19:54,068 --> 00:19:55,354 That says "patriachy" though. 405 00:19:56,070 --> 00:19:57,060 Oh, shit. 406 00:19:58,406 --> 00:20:00,192 SIMON: My mom's about as liberal as they come. 407 00:20:00,700 --> 00:20:02,907 And my dad isn't exactly the macho type. 408 00:20:03,828 --> 00:20:05,944 I mean, Creekwood's resident out—gay kid 409 00:20:06,038 --> 00:20:07,119 seems to be doing just ﬁne. 410 00:20:07,248 --> 00:20:09,159 When Ethan came out, no one even cared. 411 00:20:09,333 --> 00:20:11,870 Guys, I have something to tell you. 412 00:20:12,795 --> 00:20:13,660 I'm gay. 413 00:20:14,338 --> 00:20:17,831 Wow, really? That's really great, Ethan. 414 00:20:18,175 --> 00:20:19,631 Oh, my God. No way. 415 00:20:20,094 --> 00:20:22,711 Oh, my God, you are? I had no idea. 416 00:20:22,805 --> 00:20:24,512 What a complete surprise! 417 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,930 Too much, Claire. 418 00:20:26,517 --> 00:20:28,224 SIMON: As for how I knew I was gay, 419 00:20:28,477 --> 00:20:30,013 it was a bunch of little things. 420 00:20:30,938 --> 00:20:32,349 Like this one recurring dream 421 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,272 I kept having about Daniel Radcliffe. 422 00:20:40,156 --> 00:20:42,318 And then proceeded to have every night for a month. 423 00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,576 I was obsessed with Panic! at the Disco. 424 00:20:50,708 --> 00:20:53,120 I can't. He's so cute. He's so cute. 425 00:20:53,210 --> 00:20:54,666 He's... (clears throat) 426 00:20:54,754 --> 00:20:56,210 Come on, he's like Jesus and chocolate. 427 00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,079 Just look at him. 428 00:20:58,299 --> 00:20:59,289 SIMON: Then I realized 429 00:20:59,383 --> 00:21:00,839 it really wasn't about the music. 430 00:21:01,635 --> 00:21:03,000 And then there was my ﬁrst girlfriend. 431 00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:04,756 I think I'm falling in love with you. 432 00:21:05,514 --> 00:21:07,255 Wow. Thank you. Be right back. 433 00:21:11,145 --> 00:21:12,306 Wasn't my proudest moment. 434 00:21:20,613 --> 00:21:22,479 How 'bout you? How did you know? 435 00:21:22,823 --> 00:21:24,609 Warmly, Jacques. 436 00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:30,657 Fondly, Jacques. 437 00:21:36,420 --> 00:21:37,285 Jacques. 438 00:21:44,261 --> 00:21:45,126 (cell phone chimes) 439 00:21:50,226 --> 00:21:51,591 BLUE: Jacques, don't worry. 440 00:21:51,811 --> 00:21:53,677 If your proudest moment happened in middle school, 441 00:21:53,771 --> 00:21:55,102 that would be pretty sad. 442 00:21:55,189 --> 00:21:56,975 For me, I realized I liked guys 443 00:21:57,191 --> 00:21:58,056 watching Game of Thrones. 444 00:21:58,192 --> 00:21:59,353 My friends were all holding their breath 445 00:22:00,194 --> 00:22:02,231 waiting to see the Dragon Princess's boobs. 446 00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,983 I was crushing hard on Jon Snow. 447 00:22:05,699 --> 00:22:07,360 SIMON: Well, I've never told anyone 448 00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,988 about my Daniel Radcliffe phase so now we're even. 449 00:22:10,162 --> 00:22:11,323 And for the record, 450 00:22:11,455 --> 00:22:12,945 I think Jon Snow is an excellent choice 451 00:22:13,165 --> 00:22:14,155 for your sexual awakening. 452 00:22:14,250 --> 00:22:16,036 So I guess, if I want to ﬁnd you at school 453 00:22:16,126 --> 00:22:18,037 I just have to look for the Game of Thrones fanatic. 454 00:22:30,099 --> 00:22:30,964 Wow. 455 00:22:31,058 --> 00:22:33,174 I was just listening to that M83 song "Reunion," 456 00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:34,555 and it made me think of you. 457 00:22:34,937 --> 00:22:36,803 BLUE: You'll probably think my music taste is lame. 458 00:22:37,523 --> 00:22:38,979 Kind of have the same taste as my Aunt Sally 459 00:22:39,066 --> 00:22:40,602 who loves show tunes. 460 00:22:40,860 --> 00:22:42,692 Obviously, some of the things I've told you about myself 461 00:22:42,945 --> 00:22:45,277 are things I've never talked about with anyone. 462 00:22:46,323 --> 00:22:47,984 There's something about you that makes me want to open up. 463 00:22:48,325 --> 00:22:50,032 And that's slightly terrifying for me. 464 00:22:50,119 --> 00:22:51,109 SIMON: So I've been thinking, 465 00:22:51,245 --> 00:22:52,827 maybe I should be Jon Snow for Halloween. 466 00:22:53,122 --> 00:22:55,033 What about you? Who are you gonna be? 467 00:22:56,292 --> 00:22:57,498 BLUE: I'm not dressing up. 468 00:22:57,751 --> 00:22:59,617 For me, Halloween 's all about the Oreos 469 00:22:59,920 --> 00:23:01,376 with the orange frosting in the middle. 470 00:23:03,299 --> 00:23:05,006 - Hey, hey, hey! - Hey. 471 00:23:05,092 --> 00:23:07,379 Wow. Look at that smile. You're glowing, man. 472 00:23:07,469 --> 00:23:08,425 No. You are glowing. 473 00:23:08,512 --> 00:23:09,377 You look happy. 474 00:23:09,597 --> 00:23:10,587 Oh, just regular. 475 00:23:10,681 --> 00:23:11,716 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 476 00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,011 Me too. I'm a little meh. 477 00:23:15,144 --> 00:23:16,259 Why "meh"? 478 00:23:16,562 --> 00:23:19,850 Oh, I had my big Tinder date last night. Oh, God. 479 00:23:20,024 --> 00:23:21,935 She was not into it. (chuckles) 480 00:23:22,568 --> 00:23:23,524 At. All. 481 00:23:24,236 --> 00:23:25,226 (bell ringing) 482 00:23:25,446 --> 00:23:26,982 - Oh, come on. Too soon. - No. 483 00:23:27,156 --> 00:23:28,396 The bell is a buzzkill. 484 00:23:28,532 --> 00:23:29,738 - See you, Mr. Worth. - All right. 485 00:23:31,535 --> 00:23:32,400 (Simon sighs) 486 00:23:32,494 --> 00:23:33,905 Well, thank you for your help, Fräulein. 487 00:23:33,996 --> 00:23:34,861 You're welcome. 488 00:23:35,122 --> 00:23:38,581 German accent for Cabaret. Yup. Take care, Ms. Bradley. 489 00:23:40,044 --> 00:23:40,909 Ladies. 490 00:23:42,379 --> 00:23:45,041 Let's see what you got, interwebs. 491 00:23:51,597 --> 00:23:54,555 LEAH: Here are your burnt tots, because you have horrible taste. 492 00:23:55,726 --> 00:23:56,716 SIMON: Here's your green banana, 493 00:23:56,852 --> 00:23:58,092 because you like disgusting things. 494 00:23:58,187 --> 00:23:59,677 - LEAH: Mm-hm. - Wow, you guys are weird. 495 00:23:59,939 --> 00:24:02,431 Yup. They're practically Cantonese twins. 496 00:24:02,858 --> 00:24:04,519 Siamese. Yeah. Siamese. 497 00:24:05,235 --> 00:24:06,100 Yeah, agree to disagree. 498 00:24:06,278 --> 00:24:07,268 I don't think that's one of those 499 00:24:07,363 --> 00:24:08,353 things where you can agree to disagree. 500 00:24:08,447 --> 00:24:09,312 agree. It's just right. 501 00:24:09,657 --> 00:24:10,772 NICK: To each his own. 502 00:24:12,201 --> 00:24:13,191 BRAM: Oreos. 503 00:24:14,453 --> 00:24:15,443 Man, I love those. 504 00:24:15,913 --> 00:24:17,074 Halloween ones are the best, right? 505 00:24:17,206 --> 00:24:18,162 Yeah. 506 00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:20,953 Er, so, guys, I have great news. 507 00:24:21,168 --> 00:24:22,374 My aunt's boyfriend 508 00:24:22,461 --> 00:24:24,452 just took off with her car and all her jewelry. 509 00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:26,036 Bram, that's terrible news! 510 00:24:26,173 --> 00:24:27,163 I know, but it's like, 511 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:28,418 the third time it's happened to her. 512 00:24:28,550 --> 00:24:29,881 She has really bad taste in men. 513 00:24:30,678 --> 00:24:34,046 Anyways, my mom is going down to Orlando to deal with it 514 00:24:34,139 --> 00:24:36,972 which means I get to throw a Halloween party. 515 00:24:37,351 --> 00:24:38,933 Awesome! Yay! 516 00:24:39,019 --> 00:24:39,884 Nice! 517 00:24:40,104 --> 00:24:41,811 Thank you, Bram's dumb—ass aunt! 518 00:24:41,981 --> 00:24:43,267 All right, this is gonna be epic, you guys. 519 00:24:43,607 --> 00:24:45,097 I can bring my karaoke machine. 520 00:24:45,275 --> 00:24:47,516 All right, hey, guys, Halloween party Friday night! 521 00:24:47,778 --> 00:24:49,143 Friday night, Halloween party, okay? Bram's house! 522 00:24:49,238 --> 00:24:51,229 - You really set this in motion, man. - I know, right? 523 00:24:51,365 --> 00:24:52,230 Hey, little guy. 524 00:24:52,366 --> 00:24:53,572 Me? Halloween party. 525 00:24:53,701 --> 00:24:55,692 Friday night. Bram's house. Be there. 526 00:24:55,911 --> 00:24:57,242 - You're gonna freak him out, man. - GARRETT: Yeah. 527 00:24:57,538 --> 00:24:59,074 LEAH: I know. He's, like, nine years old. 528 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:09,751 BLUE: Very relieved that we're in agreement on Oreos. 529 00:25:09,842 --> 00:25:11,958 That would have been a deal—breaker for me. 530 00:25:12,511 --> 00:25:16,300 On a totally different, non—cookie related note... 531 00:25:16,974 --> 00:25:19,511 is it weird that I have no idea what you look like, 532 00:25:19,601 --> 00:25:22,559 but I can't stop thinking about kissing you. 533 00:25:24,231 --> 00:25:26,438 TEACHER: Simon. Simon. 534 00:25:27,609 --> 00:25:28,940 Eyes on your own test. 535 00:25:38,704 --> 00:25:40,615 Don't stop on my account, Rob and Brianne. 536 00:25:40,706 --> 00:25:42,367 That's the most action I've seen in weeks. 537 00:25:42,458 --> 00:25:45,826 What do we got here? Ah! When we're done, it's gonna look 538 00:25:45,919 --> 00:25:48,627 like a real German sex club. Don't ask me how I know. 539 00:25:48,714 --> 00:25:49,954 (laughs) 540 00:25:50,215 --> 00:25:51,671 Hey! Hey! 541 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:54,091 The spray paint is for painting, not for huffing. 542 00:25:54,678 --> 00:25:56,043 You don't want to get good at that. 543 00:25:56,305 --> 00:25:58,137 Okay, do you guys think I should dye my hair grey 544 00:25:58,223 --> 00:26:00,180 -to play Fräulein Schneider? - Sure. 545 00:26:00,267 --> 00:26:01,757 TAYLOR: Really? But my hair is kind of like my thing. 546 00:26:01,852 --> 00:26:03,342 I'm gonna go get a soda. 547 00:26:03,437 --> 00:26:04,393 Do you want anything? 548 00:26:04,730 --> 00:26:07,017 - No. - MS. ALBRIGHT: You disgust me. 549 00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,778 Simon! Hey, hey, hey- 550 00:26:17,951 --> 00:26:19,282 Hey, Martin. Buddy. 551 00:26:19,787 --> 00:26:22,779 Hey, um, I used the computer in the library right after you. 552 00:26:23,916 --> 00:26:24,951 Okay. Mm-hmm. 553 00:26:25,334 --> 00:26:28,702 Well, I went to Gmail, and it pulled up your account. 554 00:26:28,837 --> 00:26:30,919 And I, uh, read some of your emails. 555 00:26:31,048 --> 00:26:32,209 I know I probably shouldn't've, 556 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:34,006 but they were, like, right there. (chuckles) 557 00:26:34,259 --> 00:26:36,216 So you'll be interested to know my brother's gay. 558 00:26:40,099 --> 00:26:43,091 No. Martin, that wouldn't interest me to know. 559 00:26:43,435 --> 00:26:45,096 Okay. Don't worry. I won't show anyone. 560 00:26:46,563 --> 00:26:47,598 Show anyone what? 561 00:26:50,359 --> 00:26:51,724 Did you print my emails or something? 562 00:26:51,944 --> 00:26:53,776 Oh, no, no. (chuckles) 563 00:26:54,363 --> 00:26:55,853 I screenshot them. 564 00:26:55,989 --> 00:26:58,276 - You screenshotted my emails? - Mm-hmm. Yeah. 565 00:26:58,408 --> 00:26:59,648 Let me talk to you for a second. 566 00:27:01,036 --> 00:27:02,822 - Oh, Ms. Bradley. - MS. BRADLEY: Hello, Martin. 567 00:27:02,913 --> 00:27:05,200 - Did you feather your hair? - No, Martin. Shh. 568 00:27:05,332 --> 00:27:06,538 MARTIN: Looking good, huh? 569 00:27:07,459 --> 00:27:08,415 This is a good section. 570 00:27:09,878 --> 00:27:10,743 MARTIN: Jeez. 571 00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:13,329 Now, why the hell did you screenshot my emails? 572 00:27:13,882 --> 00:27:16,715 Ah, well, you and Abby Susso are good friends. Right? 573 00:27:16,844 --> 00:27:17,754 Yeah. We know each other. 574 00:27:17,845 --> 00:27:18,926 What does that have to do with anything? 575 00:27:19,012 --> 00:27:21,879 Well, I need you to help me talk with her... 576 00:27:22,516 --> 00:27:24,257 and hang out with her and stuff, you know? 577 00:27:24,393 --> 00:27:25,758 Why would I help you do that? 578 00:27:27,813 --> 00:27:28,974 Are you blackmailing me? 579 00:27:29,231 --> 00:27:32,019 Oh, shh! Okay. Don't be so dramatic here, Simon. 580 00:27:32,109 --> 00:27:32,974 SIMON: Sup, Tyler? 581 00:27:33,193 --> 00:27:35,104 MARTIN: What's up, Tyler? Is that a Patagonia? 582 00:27:35,821 --> 00:27:38,233 Nice. I just like her. 583 00:27:38,740 --> 00:27:41,448 And I think that you could help me. 584 00:27:42,077 --> 00:27:44,739 Yeah, what if I say no, Martin? I mean, what are you gonna do? 585 00:27:44,872 --> 00:27:46,078 You gonna tell the whole school that I'm... 586 00:27:47,040 --> 00:27:48,201 You're gonna leak my emails? 587 00:27:48,292 --> 00:27:49,908 You're gonna post 'em on CreekSecrets? 588 00:27:50,002 --> 00:27:51,868 I just think that we're in a position here, 589 00:27:52,588 --> 00:27:54,078 where we could help each other out is all. 590 00:27:55,090 --> 00:27:56,205 So think about it. 591 00:27:57,092 --> 00:27:58,127 Good talk. 592 00:28:05,976 --> 00:28:07,933 You know, I never thought of a pepper 593 00:28:08,020 --> 00:28:09,476 as being a vegetable... (cell phone chimes) 594 00:28:09,605 --> 00:28:10,640 ...but it makes perfect sense. 595 00:28:10,772 --> 00:28:13,764 EMILY: I like the cilantro. A little Mexican flair, huh? 596 00:28:13,984 --> 00:28:15,190 JACK: Very creative, kiddo. 597 00:28:15,652 --> 00:28:17,643 You hate the peppers. Don't you? 598 00:28:18,363 --> 00:28:20,195 No. The peppers are great. 599 00:28:21,700 --> 00:28:22,906 I'm just gonna get some air. 600 00:28:34,171 --> 00:28:36,663 BRAM: Jacques, I have to get something off my chest. 601 00:28:37,090 --> 00:28:39,548 The other day, you asked me what I was wearing for Halloween 602 00:28:39,635 --> 00:28:41,842 and I said I wasn't dressing up. 603 00:28:42,596 --> 00:28:44,052 I lied. Truth is, 604 00:28:44,139 --> 00:28:45,800 I didn't want you to know what I was wearing 605 00:28:45,891 --> 00:28:48,007 because I don't want you to know who I am. 606 00:28:49,728 --> 00:28:51,435 Right now, these emails, they feel like 607 00:28:51,897 --> 00:28:53,012 this totally safe place. 608 00:28:54,024 --> 00:28:55,935 I'm just not ready for my whole world to change. 609 00:28:56,276 --> 00:28:57,482 I hope you understand. 610 00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,522 (indistinct conversation) 611 00:29:04,618 --> 00:29:07,656 SIMON: Yes, Blue. I understand. 612 00:29:23,262 --> 00:29:24,878 (sniffing) 613 00:29:25,973 --> 00:29:27,680 Okay, if you want me to help you with Abby, 614 00:29:27,766 --> 00:29:28,847 you cannot eat that. 615 00:29:29,351 --> 00:29:30,341 So you're gonna help me? 616 00:29:30,686 --> 00:29:31,767 Yeah. 617 00:29:32,646 --> 00:29:34,057 (chuckles) 618 00:29:34,815 --> 00:29:37,933 Simon, that is fantastic news. 619 00:29:38,068 --> 00:29:39,979 I really think that Abby and I are meant to be together. 620 00:29:40,070 --> 00:29:41,276 Really? Do you? Mm-hmm. 621 00:29:41,363 --> 00:29:42,774 It's not all about looks, Simon. 622 00:29:42,864 --> 00:29:45,276 Okay. So you're banking on your great, 623 00:29:45,367 --> 00:29:47,404 blackmaily personality to get the job done? 624 00:29:47,494 --> 00:29:48,575 Where are we going? 625 00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,572 Your place. 626 00:29:49,705 --> 00:29:50,820 We're gonna see if you have anything 627 00:29:50,956 --> 00:29:52,321 that doesn't scream "punch me." 628 00:29:52,582 --> 00:29:54,243 Actually, I've got swim lessons. 629 00:29:54,626 --> 00:29:55,741 Cancel it! 630 00:29:56,586 --> 00:29:58,827 MARTIN: Okay, I just have to call my mom first. 631 00:29:58,922 --> 00:30:01,004 She has to approve everybody that comes in the house. 632 00:30:02,384 --> 00:30:04,045 All right. Here we go. 633 00:30:05,846 --> 00:30:08,178 All right. And here we are. 634 00:30:09,599 --> 00:30:10,885 This is where the magic happens. 635 00:30:11,018 --> 00:30:12,008 Wow. 636 00:30:12,269 --> 00:30:14,636 Ooh. Correction. (chuckles) 637 00:30:15,230 --> 00:30:17,346 This is where the magic happens. 638 00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:20,812 I've been dabbling in close-up illusions. 639 00:30:21,111 --> 00:30:22,101 Does Abby like magic? 640 00:30:22,612 --> 00:30:24,478 No. Martin, I don't think she does like magic. 641 00:30:24,573 --> 00:30:26,109 But, um, there's a really thin line 642 00:30:26,199 --> 00:30:28,987 between laughing with someone, and laughing at someone. 643 00:30:29,328 --> 00:30:30,659 And you are that line. 644 00:30:30,746 --> 00:30:32,077 So, if you want Abby to like you, 645 00:30:32,164 --> 00:30:33,529 what you have to do is you have to 646 00:30:33,665 --> 00:30:35,030 make her see you as more of a... 647 00:30:35,167 --> 00:30:36,248 As sexy Martin! 648 00:30:37,002 --> 00:30:39,084 Yeah! Yeah, I could be sexy. 649 00:30:41,506 --> 00:30:43,372 You like dudes. Tell me. 650 00:30:43,633 --> 00:30:44,964 What part of me do you find the hottest? 651 00:30:45,135 --> 00:30:47,126 -No. I'm not doing this. -No. Come on. 652 00:30:47,220 --> 00:30:48,631 No, Martin. I don't want to answer that. 653 00:30:48,722 --> 00:30:49,962 Look, if you said my shoulders 654 00:30:50,057 --> 00:30:52,424 I would dress to accentuate. You know? 655 00:30:53,101 --> 00:30:54,432 You know what? Here's your first tip. 656 00:30:54,603 --> 00:30:55,468 Ripped. 657 00:30:55,604 --> 00:30:56,469 Girls, 658 00:30:56,646 --> 00:30:58,762 they don't want to read your clothes. 659 00:30:59,066 --> 00:31:00,306 I think you're wrong about that one. 660 00:31:01,234 --> 00:31:02,975 - How many of these do you have? - Hey, can you-- 661 00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:06,236 Please, just stop! Hey! Stop! 662 00:31:06,823 --> 00:31:09,235 Look, I don't want your help in changing me. 663 00:31:09,993 --> 00:31:13,202 I want your help in getting Abby to like me for me. 664 00:31:16,041 --> 00:31:17,031 Look. Um... 665 00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:21,874 there's a party this Saturday. At Bram's. 666 00:31:24,549 --> 00:31:26,335 Do you want to go with my friends and I? 667 00:31:26,593 --> 00:31:27,674 Yes! 668 00:31:28,136 --> 00:31:30,093 Yes! So simple. 669 00:31:30,889 --> 00:31:32,425 Must be why they call you Simple Simon. 670 00:31:32,766 --> 00:31:34,348 Nobody calls me that, Martin. 671 00:31:35,310 --> 00:31:37,551 Hey, uh, do you want to, like, sleep over? 672 00:31:38,271 --> 00:31:39,136 SIMON: Nope. 673 00:31:49,449 --> 00:31:50,530 Oh, hello. 674 00:31:51,159 --> 00:31:52,399 Hey, what's up? 675 00:31:52,536 --> 00:31:53,776 - Nice, right? - LEAH: Nick. 676 00:31:53,912 --> 00:31:54,777 Good? 677 00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:57,154 This is, like, a new level of laziness, even for you. 678 00:31:57,416 --> 00:31:59,828 What do you mean? I'm Cristiano Ronaldo. 679 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:00,908 And you couldn't even be bothered 680 00:32:01,002 --> 00:32:02,333 to fill in the letters on the back? 681 00:32:02,879 --> 00:32:04,586 No, come on. Give me that. 682 00:32:05,590 --> 00:32:07,752 You are a bully. (laughs) 683 00:32:07,884 --> 00:32:11,127 (In a British accent) Hey. Don't talk about Yoko that way, man. 684 00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:13,717 Because if you do, you're out of the band. 685 00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:15,176 Who are you guys supposed to be? 686 00:32:17,185 --> 00:32:18,425 John Lennon and Yoko Ono. 687 00:32:19,146 --> 00:32:20,978 Oh! I thought she was the girl from The Ring, 688 00:32:21,148 --> 00:32:22,354 and you were Jesus. 689 00:32:22,482 --> 00:32:25,600 Jesus? No. Why would Jesus be wearing a white suit? 690 00:32:25,861 --> 00:32:26,942 I don't know. You tell me. 691 00:32:27,028 --> 00:32:28,894 You're the one who decided to dress up like fancy Jesus. 692 00:32:29,030 --> 00:32:30,441 Oh, my God. Okay. Come here. 693 00:32:30,699 --> 00:32:31,689 Turn around. I'm here. 694 00:32:31,783 --> 00:32:32,648 Turn around. Okay. 695 00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:35,404 Okay. Way better. Is it good? Is it? 696 00:32:35,495 --> 00:32:36,951 Yeah. Now, we need to do something about this hair. 697 00:32:37,038 --> 00:32:38,153 Maybe slick it back? 698 00:32:38,248 --> 00:32:40,034 NICK: It doesn't do that. It doesn't slick back. 699 00:32:40,750 --> 00:32:41,865 Wonder Woman in the hizzy! 700 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:42,950 NICK: Hi! 701 00:32:43,628 --> 00:32:44,493 I made up a catchphrase, 702 00:32:44,671 --> 00:32:46,127 'cause Wonder Woman doesn't have one. 703 00:32:47,674 --> 00:32:48,539 "Hizzy" means house. 704 00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:49,839 Yeah. Yeah. 705 00:32:49,926 --> 00:32:50,916 Right. Yeah. Yeah. 706 00:32:51,928 --> 00:32:53,293 Oh, Abby, you look amazing. 707 00:32:53,513 --> 00:32:54,469 Thank you! 708 00:32:55,682 --> 00:32:56,968 Yeah. You look awesome. 709 00:32:57,684 --> 00:32:59,595 I'm gonna go make those frozen pizzas. 710 00:33:00,228 --> 00:33:02,344 -NICK: All right. -Yeah, I'll help. 711 00:33:04,274 --> 00:33:05,685 That's a nice costume, for real. 712 00:33:05,775 --> 00:33:07,982 Thank you. What? Cristiano Ronaldo! 713 00:33:08,069 --> 00:33:08,934 Nailed it. 714 00:33:09,905 --> 00:33:11,145 Do you remember when we went to school 715 00:33:11,239 --> 00:33:12,229 dressed as Charlie's Angels? 716 00:33:12,365 --> 00:33:13,776 Oh, my God, yes. 717 00:33:13,950 --> 00:33:15,532 And Nick's balls fell out of his booty shorts 718 00:33:15,619 --> 00:33:17,109 when he, like, dropped down to do the gun pose? 719 00:33:18,705 --> 00:33:20,571 Mm. Do you miss trick—or—treating? 720 00:33:20,749 --> 00:33:22,911 What, you mean instead of, like, going to loud parties 721 00:33:23,001 --> 00:33:24,207 pretending to like the taste of beer 722 00:33:24,294 --> 00:33:25,580 and feeling too self-conscious to dance? 723 00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:27,578 I don't know why you feel self-conscious. 724 00:33:27,672 --> 00:33:28,912 I mean, 725 00:33:29,132 --> 00:33:31,669 you are very clearly the coolest person at our school. 726 00:33:33,345 --> 00:33:35,336 I'm pretty sure you're the only one who feels that way. 727 00:33:36,431 --> 00:33:37,466 But thank you. 728 00:33:39,476 --> 00:33:42,264 (doorbell ringing) 729 00:33:43,271 --> 00:33:44,261 Who's that? 730 00:33:45,065 --> 00:33:46,226 I invited Martin. 731 00:33:46,441 --> 00:33:47,931 Martin Addison? (groans) Why? 732 00:33:48,193 --> 00:33:49,683 Is this a Make—A—Wish situation? 733 00:33:50,028 --> 00:33:51,359 (doorbell continues ringing) 734 00:33:51,488 --> 00:33:52,444 No, he's cool. 735 00:33:54,533 --> 00:33:55,648 Hey- 736 00:33:56,826 --> 00:33:58,112 Oh, looking sharp. 737 00:33:58,745 --> 00:33:59,610 What the... 738 00:33:59,704 --> 00:34:01,866 - MARTIN: Guys. - What are you supposed to be? 739 00:34:02,249 --> 00:34:03,284 Isn't it obvious? 740 00:34:04,376 --> 00:34:06,242 Ah! I'm a Freudian slip. 741 00:34:08,672 --> 00:34:10,629 Abby. Wonder Woman. 742 00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:16,339 NICK: Just pick a song already. 743 00:34:16,930 --> 00:34:18,887 Hey, Nick, uh, can you not rush me? 744 00:34:19,057 --> 00:34:20,297 (laughing) 745 00:34:20,767 --> 00:34:22,303 ABBY: Honestly, I can't choose. There's so many. 746 00:34:22,394 --> 00:34:23,259 That's like Netflix. 747 00:34:23,353 --> 00:34:25,390 You know, trying to pick a film on Netflix. 748 00:34:25,772 --> 00:34:28,639 I'm like... (groans) "Am I in an Apatow mood, 749 00:34:28,733 --> 00:34:31,270 or am I in a Billy Wilder mood?" You know? 750 00:34:31,361 --> 00:34:33,272 Ooh, play Drake. Yes. 751 00:34:33,488 --> 00:34:36,401 Uh, no. Drake is, like, super played out at this point. 752 00:34:37,033 --> 00:34:39,149 You can't play out a rap god. Doesn't happen. 753 00:34:39,244 --> 00:34:40,154 Impossible. First of all, 754 00:34:40,287 --> 00:34:41,448 he's not a rap god. 755 00:34:41,538 --> 00:34:43,575 And second of all, I'm looking for some Beyoncé. 756 00:34:43,665 --> 00:34:45,121 Oh. I just can't find "Lemonade." 757 00:34:45,208 --> 00:34:46,994 Hey. Here's an interesting question. 758 00:34:47,085 --> 00:34:47,950 I love Beyoncé. 759 00:34:48,044 --> 00:34:49,125 What makes you guys feel nostalgic? 760 00:34:49,212 --> 00:34:50,077 You do? 761 00:34:50,171 --> 00:34:51,536 I mean, I think everybody kinda likes Beyoncé. 762 00:34:51,673 --> 00:34:54,506 Mine's grape soda makes me feel very nostalgic. 763 00:34:54,593 --> 00:34:56,630 What are you talking about? What makes you feel nostalgic? 764 00:34:57,304 --> 00:34:58,339 Hey, Abby. 765 00:34:58,722 --> 00:35:00,508 I bet you're gonna have the best costume tonight. 766 00:35:01,433 --> 00:35:03,174 Thanks. Nah, you're welcome. 767 00:35:04,227 --> 00:35:05,433 (Martin mocking) 768 00:35:07,188 --> 00:35:08,303 What the hell, Spier? 769 00:35:08,481 --> 00:35:10,813 Hey, why is Nick still flirting with Abby? 770 00:35:11,026 --> 00:35:12,016 SIMON: I don't know, Martin. 771 00:35:12,193 --> 00:35:13,604 Maybe you shouldn't have worn a dress. 772 00:35:14,654 --> 00:35:15,769 You look like a drag queen 773 00:35:15,864 --> 00:35:17,400 rolled around in magnetic poetry. 774 00:35:18,533 --> 00:35:20,115 (music playing) 775 00:35:20,201 --> 00:35:21,362 Hey, Abby! 776 00:35:21,703 --> 00:35:23,319 Whenever you need a refill of your drink, 777 00:35:23,496 --> 00:35:24,986 I'll be your designated bartender. 778 00:35:25,206 --> 00:35:26,162 So don't worry. 779 00:35:26,291 --> 00:35:28,282 Okay. Hey, Chloe, come here! 780 00:35:28,668 --> 00:35:29,954 Yo, yo, yo! 781 00:35:30,045 --> 00:35:32,582 Hey. John Lennon? 782 00:35:32,797 --> 00:35:34,162 - Yeah. You got it. - Nice. 783 00:35:34,299 --> 00:35:36,131 And, um, Nick you're... 784 00:35:37,385 --> 00:35:38,250 You're Nick. 785 00:35:38,386 --> 00:35:40,343 No. No. I'm Ronaldo. 786 00:35:40,597 --> 00:35:42,383 - Oh. My bad. - Obviously. 787 00:35:42,557 --> 00:35:43,592 Who are you supposed to be? 788 00:35:43,683 --> 00:35:47,142 Oh. Uh... I am post-presidency Barack Obama. 789 00:35:47,312 --> 00:35:49,519 So I'm just chillin' in Hawaii, drinking Mai Tais, 790 00:35:49,648 --> 00:35:52,766 writing memoirs and hoping Trump doesn't destroy my legacy. 791 00:35:52,901 --> 00:35:55,142 -(both chuckle) - That's awesome. 792 00:35:55,820 --> 00:35:57,811 Thanks. Now let's go to the bar. Come on. 793 00:35:58,031 --> 00:35:59,192 BOTH: Yeah. 794 00:35:59,407 --> 00:36:00,363 Hell yeah. 795 00:36:01,159 --> 00:36:03,400 (rapping) ♪ My name is my sign is ♪ 796 00:36:03,495 --> 00:36:04,985 No, Garrett, no. J' My number is ♪ 797 00:36:05,163 --> 00:36:07,575 ♪ You need to let it go need to let it go ♪ 798 00:36:07,749 --> 00:36:08,910 ♪ Need to let it go ♪ 799 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,241 ♪ Nah to the ah to the no, no, no... ♪ 800 00:36:11,753 --> 00:36:13,039 ♪ Whatchu gonna say? ♪ 801 00:36:13,380 --> 00:36:14,916 All right, we should have a little toast. 802 00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:16,963 No, thanks. I'm driving. And Simon doesn't really drink. 803 00:36:17,050 --> 00:36:18,461 No, I drink. It's cool. I drink. 804 00:36:18,635 --> 00:36:20,000 - All right, that's my man. - NICK: Really? 805 00:36:20,095 --> 00:36:22,382 You wouldn't even have a glass of Manischewitz at Leah's Seder. 806 00:36:22,472 --> 00:36:24,804 No, it's Halloween, man. It's a special occasion. 807 00:36:25,392 --> 00:36:26,427 True that. 808 00:36:26,685 --> 00:36:28,096 BOTH: Cheers. 809 00:36:29,020 --> 00:36:29,885 (gagging) 810 00:36:32,357 --> 00:36:33,563 You okay? (coughing) 811 00:36:33,858 --> 00:36:35,440 ("Never Fall in Love" playing) 812 00:36:37,529 --> 00:36:39,019 You're good at this. You got this. 813 00:36:42,992 --> 00:36:46,656 Abby is the hottest Wonder Woman I have ever seen. 814 00:36:46,788 --> 00:36:47,698 SIMON: Yeah. 815 00:36:47,831 --> 00:36:49,663 The shit that I would let her do to me with that lasso. 816 00:36:49,791 --> 00:36:51,077 Oh, I know, man. 817 00:36:51,167 --> 00:36:53,534 Just, like, tie me up with that thing. 818 00:36:53,795 --> 00:36:55,081 You're not into Abby, are you? 819 00:36:55,213 --> 00:36:56,328 No, no, no. 820 00:36:56,464 --> 00:36:58,626 I mean, it's not like I... She's cute... 821 00:36:58,717 --> 00:36:59,627 Yeah. ...but she's just 822 00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,840 not really my type. 823 00:37:02,095 --> 00:37:05,213 Not because she's black. I love black women. 824 00:37:05,640 --> 00:37:07,722 Not like, you know, I have a thing for black women, 825 00:37:07,809 --> 00:37:09,550 I just love all women. 826 00:37:10,895 --> 00:37:12,010 MARTIN (laughs) 827 00:37:12,147 --> 00:37:13,979 Oh, oh. Oh! Oh! 828 00:37:14,107 --> 00:37:17,350 Oh, hey. Hey! Oh, hey. 829 00:37:18,194 --> 00:37:20,435 Hey. Mm. 830 00:37:22,490 --> 00:37:24,572 I'm gonna go ask her out. What? No. 831 00:37:25,285 --> 00:37:26,616 No? No? No. 832 00:37:26,703 --> 00:37:28,239 - You can't ask Abby out. - Why not? 833 00:37:28,872 --> 00:37:33,116 Because. She didn't tell you about Jonathan? 834 00:37:33,251 --> 00:37:34,332 She didn't tell you about that? No 835 00:37:34,419 --> 00:37:35,375 He's older. 836 00:37:35,712 --> 00:37:37,749 Uh-huh. Uh-huh. In college. 837 00:37:37,881 --> 00:37:39,292 He's really experienced. 838 00:37:42,051 --> 00:37:43,416 You know I've only had sex once, right? 839 00:37:43,553 --> 00:37:44,418 I know that. 840 00:37:44,512 --> 00:37:45,627 You know, it's like no one tells you 841 00:37:45,722 --> 00:37:46,803 how dark everything is 842 00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:49,427 and how slippery everything gets, and, you know, 843 00:37:49,517 --> 00:37:50,848 the parts you think are the right parts 844 00:37:50,935 --> 00:37:52,096 are actually the wrong parts and... 845 00:37:53,521 --> 00:37:55,558 All right, I'm gonna go eat my feelings away. (laughs) 846 00:37:56,941 --> 00:37:57,976 Man, I'm sorry... 847 00:37:58,067 --> 00:37:59,432 NICK: No, it's okay. Don't worry about it. 848 00:38:01,738 --> 00:38:02,819 Whoa, whoa. 849 00:38:07,619 --> 00:38:08,825 - BRAM: Hey, Simon! - Hey. 850 00:38:08,995 --> 00:38:10,235 Hey, you wanna play Beirut? 851 00:38:10,538 --> 00:38:11,573 Yeah. Sure. 852 00:38:11,998 --> 00:38:13,329 We just need two more people. 853 00:38:13,416 --> 00:38:15,748 How about you and me, and then, um... 854 00:38:16,169 --> 00:38:17,659 Let me pour. I insist. 855 00:38:17,962 --> 00:38:18,952 Abby and Martin? 856 00:38:19,756 --> 00:38:20,917 - BRAM: Okay, cool. - SIMON: Hey, Martin. 857 00:38:21,007 --> 00:38:21,997 - MARTIN: Yeah. - SIMON: Abby. 858 00:38:22,425 --> 00:38:23,460 Let's play Beirut. 859 00:38:23,551 --> 00:38:25,133 No, I don't... Yeah. Let's do it. 860 00:38:25,303 --> 00:38:27,761 Come on, let's go. It'll be fun. It'll be fun. 861 00:38:27,889 --> 00:38:29,800 Good old competition. (chuckles) 862 00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:31,756 Ready? Yeah, I'm ready. 863 00:38:33,144 --> 00:38:34,634 Beirut. Right? 864 00:38:34,729 --> 00:38:35,639 - Yes! - (sighs) 865 00:38:35,855 --> 00:38:37,516 Okay. Have you ever played Beirut before? 866 00:38:37,941 --> 00:38:39,102 Uh, totally. Yeah. 867 00:38:39,818 --> 00:38:42,810 Great. All right, so, two reracks, no blowing 868 00:38:42,904 --> 00:38:43,985 and two balls in the cup means 869 00:38:44,072 --> 00:38:45,187 that you have to take three, okay? 870 00:38:45,323 --> 00:38:46,358 Okay. Cool. 871 00:38:46,908 --> 00:38:48,774 I thought we were talking about a different game. 872 00:38:48,868 --> 00:38:50,233 We'll just explain as we go. Okay? 873 00:38:50,328 --> 00:38:51,318 - Yeah. - Okay. Got it. 874 00:38:51,412 --> 00:38:52,322 SIMON: Ready? 875 00:38:52,413 --> 00:38:53,824 Maybe you should take these... 876 00:38:53,957 --> 00:38:54,867 Oh. 877 00:38:55,750 --> 00:38:56,615 You'll see better. 878 00:38:56,876 --> 00:38:58,082 Right? Good idea. Yeah. 879 00:38:59,254 --> 00:39:00,744 -All you. -Raindrop! 880 00:39:00,839 --> 00:39:02,671 MARTIN: Here we go, all right. You got this one. 881 00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,206 Oh, is that... This is mine to drink? 882 00:39:06,678 --> 00:39:07,668 God. 883 00:39:08,972 --> 00:39:09,837 Oh! 884 00:39:11,724 --> 00:39:12,589 All right. 885 00:39:12,684 --> 00:39:14,266 ALL: Chug! Chug! Chug! 886 00:39:15,478 --> 00:39:16,388 (imitates explosion) 887 00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:18,057 Do we need a handshake? Is that... 888 00:39:18,314 --> 00:39:19,349 You get one of these in 889 00:39:19,482 --> 00:39:20,768 and we can totally have a handshake. 890 00:39:21,651 --> 00:39:22,812 Fly it away. Fly it away. 891 00:39:24,279 --> 00:39:25,940 Chug, chug, chug. 892 00:39:26,447 --> 00:39:27,528 - MARTIN: Sweet! - All right. 893 00:39:27,782 --> 00:39:28,647 (belches) 894 00:39:29,951 --> 00:39:31,407 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 895 00:39:31,619 --> 00:39:34,828 ♪ We could be starving we could be homeless ♪ 896 00:39:34,914 --> 00:39:36,029 ♪ We could be loved ♪ 897 00:39:36,374 --> 00:39:38,240 ♪ As long as you love me ♪ 898 00:39:38,334 --> 00:39:40,496 (all cheering) 899 00:39:43,172 --> 00:39:45,539 ♪ Why can't I get just one screw ♪ 900 00:39:45,675 --> 00:39:48,042 ♪ Baby, I know what to do ♪ 901 00:39:48,136 --> 00:39:50,924 But something won't let me make love to you ♪ 902 00:39:51,306 --> 00:39:55,300 ♪ Day after day I 903 00:39:55,643 --> 00:40:00,183 ♪ I get angry and I will say ♪ 904 00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:08,862 Hey, Bram. It's me, Jacques. 905 00:40:08,990 --> 00:40:11,277 ("Monster Mash" playing) 906 00:40:11,492 --> 00:40:13,529 Hey, Bram. I'm Jacques. 907 00:40:16,414 --> 00:40:20,203 Hey, Barack. It's me, Jacques. 908 00:40:21,878 --> 00:40:23,744 (sighs) Why did I pick Jacques? 909 00:40:25,256 --> 00:40:26,371 BOY: Yeah, no problem. 910 00:40:26,507 --> 00:40:27,588 (girls laughing) 911 00:40:41,773 --> 00:40:42,638 Oh. 912 00:40:43,733 --> 00:40:45,599 I'm sorry, I thought this was the bathroom. 913 00:40:47,779 --> 00:40:48,769 Sorry. 914 00:40:55,662 --> 00:40:57,699 - I'm starting to get so tired! - I am so tired. 915 00:41:01,292 --> 00:41:04,034 Hey, Martin, not now, man. All right? I've had a big night. 916 00:41:06,297 --> 00:41:07,162 Oh! 917 00:41:07,423 --> 00:41:09,835 Really? Really? 918 00:41:11,135 --> 00:41:12,967 (groans) I'm sorry. 919 00:41:13,054 --> 00:41:14,636 Come on! (Martin coughing) 920 00:41:17,642 --> 00:41:19,132 - LEAH: What are you doing? - I don't know. 921 00:41:20,520 --> 00:41:21,385 (Leah sighs) 922 00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:23,678 ♪ Wiilkommen ♪ 923 00:41:23,856 --> 00:41:26,348 Are you serious? ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 924 00:41:26,776 --> 00:41:29,859 .1' Welcome... .1' Whoa. Careful. 925 00:41:30,029 --> 00:41:32,111 (laughs) Okay, come on. We gotta get you home. 926 00:41:36,119 --> 00:41:37,405 Look, we're so close! 927 00:41:37,495 --> 00:41:38,451 Oh, my God! 928 00:41:38,538 --> 00:41:39,403 Wait, what? 929 00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:40,995 Dude, my parents are still up. 930 00:41:41,124 --> 00:41:42,239 Oh, God. 931 00:41:42,333 --> 00:41:43,289 Oh... Okay, you know what... 932 00:41:43,376 --> 00:41:44,286 Come on. 933 00:41:45,169 --> 00:41:46,830 I need you to think of something really sad... 934 00:41:46,921 --> 00:41:47,786 Uh-huh. 935 00:41:47,880 --> 00:41:49,712 Like, the documentary about how all the whales 936 00:41:49,799 --> 00:41:50,755 hate living at SeaWorld. 937 00:41:50,883 --> 00:41:51,873 Too sad! 938 00:41:51,968 --> 00:41:53,129 God. Okay, then just, you know what, 939 00:41:53,219 --> 00:41:54,209 don't say anything at all... 940 00:41:54,345 --> 00:41:56,632 And we'll ditch the barf shirt till tomorrow. 941 00:41:56,723 --> 00:41:57,588 SIMON: Okay. 942 00:41:58,975 --> 00:41:59,965 - LEAH: Si? - SIMON: Yeah. 943 00:42:00,226 --> 00:42:01,933 LEAH: Just as little as possible, 944 00:42:02,020 --> 00:42:03,101 say as little as possible. 945 00:42:04,188 --> 00:42:07,146 (door creaks) 946 00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:13,478 EMILY: So how does that work? 947 00:42:13,573 --> 00:42:15,359 I know, I remember when I went to... 948 00:42:15,783 --> 00:42:16,773 Hey, guys! 949 00:42:17,618 --> 00:42:19,325 Hey! Hey! 950 00:42:19,704 --> 00:42:20,865 Come talk to us. Hey! 951 00:42:21,039 --> 00:42:22,871 How was the party? It was really fun. 952 00:42:22,999 --> 00:42:23,909 Was it? Yeah. 953 00:42:24,333 --> 00:42:25,323 Aces. 954 00:42:26,544 --> 00:42:28,751 BOTH: Huh. (chuckling) 955 00:42:30,131 --> 00:42:32,463 Uh, well. Thanks for letting me stay over. 956 00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:34,040 - JACK: Yeah, yeah, yeah. - EMILY: Yeah. 957 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:36,043 You've been staying over 10 years. 958 00:42:36,512 --> 00:42:37,718 You don't have to thank us. 959 00:42:37,930 --> 00:42:39,796 Oh. Yeah, thanks. 960 00:42:40,558 --> 00:42:41,844 (whispers) Stop. Shh! 961 00:42:45,521 --> 00:42:47,387 John Lennon was wearing a woman's sweater. 962 00:42:47,482 --> 00:42:48,938 Mm. And he's drunk. 963 00:42:49,317 --> 00:42:50,899 Definitely. So how do we feel about that? 964 00:42:50,985 --> 00:42:52,726 Well, he didn't drive drunk, 965 00:42:52,820 --> 00:42:54,276 and he's home before curfew, so... 966 00:42:54,989 --> 00:42:57,105 Good. That's what I thought we thought. 967 00:42:57,283 --> 00:42:58,694 Yeah, that's what we think, right? 968 00:42:58,785 --> 00:43:00,025 Yeah. We're good parents. 969 00:43:00,119 --> 00:43:01,154 Yeah, we're good parents. Right? 970 00:43:02,455 --> 00:43:04,321 (slow music playing) 971 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:07,495 The room stopped spinning. 972 00:43:18,971 --> 00:43:20,052 Do you ever feel weird? 973 00:43:22,141 --> 00:43:24,178 Weird? Yeah. 974 00:43:27,730 --> 00:43:29,767 Sometimes I feel like I'm always on the outside. 975 00:43:33,778 --> 00:43:34,859 What do you mean? 976 00:43:35,530 --> 00:43:37,146 Like tonight, you know... 977 00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:39,822 I was at that party, and it was fun, but... 978 00:43:40,535 --> 00:43:42,321 it kinda felt like I was 979 00:43:42,453 --> 00:43:44,239 watching it from across the room. 980 00:43:46,916 --> 00:43:48,623 I don't know, there's this invisible line 981 00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:50,746 that I have to cross to really be a part of everything 982 00:43:50,837 --> 00:43:52,419 and I just, I can't ever cross it. 983 00:43:55,174 --> 00:43:56,710 I feel that way sometimes, too. 984 00:43:57,343 --> 00:43:58,925 (laughs) Not tonight you didn't. 985 00:43:59,220 --> 00:44:00,676 Yeah, I was trying something. 986 00:44:02,265 --> 00:44:04,006 Yeah, sometimes I think it'd be so much easier 987 00:44:04,100 --> 00:44:06,592 to be one of these people who can just take a few shots 988 00:44:06,686 --> 00:44:08,393 and then hook up with whoever's closest. 989 00:44:10,356 --> 00:44:12,063 Yeah, I guess I'm just unlucky. 990 00:44:12,233 --> 00:44:13,189 Unlucky? 991 00:44:14,735 --> 00:44:15,691 Why? 992 00:44:17,196 --> 00:44:19,187 Because I'm not a casual person. 993 00:44:20,783 --> 00:44:22,774 What kind of person are you? 994 00:44:26,164 --> 00:44:27,370 (Sighs) 995 00:44:27,957 --> 00:44:31,166 I think I'm the kind of person who is destined to care so much 996 00:44:31,252 --> 00:44:32,993 about one person, it nearly kills me. 997 00:44:38,342 --> 00:44:39,377 Me too. 998 00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,387 It's getting late. 999 00:45:04,410 --> 00:45:05,275 Si? 1000 00:45:06,329 --> 00:45:07,285 Yeah? 1001 00:45:07,496 --> 00:45:08,486 Good night. 1002 00:45:10,416 --> 00:45:11,281 Good night. 1003 00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:34,304 SIMON: Dear Blue, 1004 00:45:35,107 --> 00:45:36,973 so one of my friends likes the other, 1005 00:45:37,693 --> 00:45:40,526 and he has no idea. I guess we all have secrets. 1006 00:45:41,030 --> 00:45:44,068 Anyway, I've been thinking about why I haven't come out yet. 1007 00:45:44,992 --> 00:45:46,824 Maybe it's because it doesn't seem fair 1008 00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:48,572 that only gay people have to come out. 1009 00:45:48,788 --> 00:45:50,074 Why is straight the default? 1010 00:45:51,207 --> 00:45:52,538 I have something I need to tell you. 1011 00:45:52,917 --> 00:45:55,079 Mom, there's something I have to tell you. 1012 00:45:55,336 --> 00:45:56,246 Can we talk? 1013 00:45:56,504 --> 00:45:57,414 Yeah. Mm-hmm. 1014 00:45:57,630 --> 00:46:00,088 I'm straight. 1015 00:46:00,216 --> 00:46:01,798 I'm sorry, Mom, it's true. 1016 00:46:02,343 --> 00:46:03,208 I like girls. 1017 00:46:03,511 --> 00:46:04,376 (coughing) 1018 00:46:05,888 --> 00:46:06,753 I like men. 1019 00:46:06,889 --> 00:46:08,095 You get that from your daddy's side. 1020 00:46:09,267 --> 00:46:10,678 I'm in love with Nick. 1021 00:46:12,979 --> 00:46:14,595 I feel like I've been raising a stranger. 1022 00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:16,095 Yes, absolutely, you have. 1023 00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:17,642 I'm heterosexual. 1024 00:46:17,942 --> 00:46:20,855 Oh, God. Help me, Jesus. Please. 1025 00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,694 SIMON: Or maybe it's because I can't be sure 1026 00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:24,399 this whole "being gay” thing is forever. 1027 00:46:24,699 --> 00:46:26,064 Or maybe it's that there's not that much 1028 00:46:26,242 --> 00:46:28,324 of high school left and part of me wants to hold on to 1029 00:46:28,411 --> 00:46:30,743 who I've always been just a little longer. 1030 00:46:31,372 --> 00:46:33,204 And then, when I go to college in Los Angeles, 1031 00:46:33,499 --> 00:46:35,206 I'll be gay and proud, I promise. 1032 00:46:35,334 --> 00:46:36,870 ("I wanna dance with somebody" playing) 1033 00:47:29,180 --> 00:47:30,295 Yeah, maybe not that gay. 1034 00:47:30,514 --> 00:47:31,754 SIMON: I'm not sure who I'm promising. 1035 00:47:32,308 --> 00:47:33,639 I'll keep ruminating. 1036 00:47:34,018 --> 00:47:35,053 Love, Jacques. 1037 00:47:43,652 --> 00:47:44,938 Shit! 1038 00:47:49,742 --> 00:47:51,449 TAYLOR: So, yeah, after swimming with dolphins, 1039 00:47:51,535 --> 00:47:53,401 we fly to Saint Martin for New Year's. 1040 00:47:54,205 --> 00:47:55,946 Anybody else, Christmas in the Caribbean? 1041 00:47:56,540 --> 00:47:57,701 Staying here. 1042 00:47:57,792 --> 00:47:59,658 We have a classic Spier tradition 1043 00:47:59,794 --> 00:48:01,535 of French toast on Christmas Eve. 1044 00:48:01,796 --> 00:48:03,537 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1045 00:48:03,631 --> 00:48:04,541 in the middle of nowhere. 1046 00:48:04,673 --> 00:48:06,664 As is our bleak family tradition. 1047 00:48:07,301 --> 00:48:09,838 (winces) Ow! Ow! 1048 00:48:11,013 --> 00:48:12,720 Oh, man. Oh. You okay? 1049 00:48:12,848 --> 00:48:14,384 Oh, yeah, that's a paper out. 1050 00:48:15,142 --> 00:48:16,257 Overdramatic. 1051 00:48:16,894 --> 00:48:20,137 Um, Simon, do you know where the bandages are? 1052 00:48:20,606 --> 00:48:22,847 Yeah. They're just in the supply closet. 1053 00:48:23,317 --> 00:48:24,682 Okay, do you mind showing me? 1054 00:48:27,613 --> 00:48:28,603 Be right back. 1055 00:48:29,865 --> 00:48:31,196 He's like a nurse, this man. 1056 00:48:33,035 --> 00:48:34,696 Okay, I don't actually have a paper cut. 1057 00:48:34,787 --> 00:48:36,653 I know that, Martin. You're a very bad actor. 1058 00:48:36,789 --> 00:48:38,575 What, you think this is funny? 1059 00:48:40,376 --> 00:48:42,492 Simon, look, I don't wanna have to 1060 00:48:42,586 --> 00:48:44,372 leak your emails, all right? But I will. 1061 00:48:44,588 --> 00:48:47,296 Look, you cannot bring Blue into this, okay? 1062 00:48:47,383 --> 00:48:48,669 If he found out that my emails got leaked, 1063 00:48:48,759 --> 00:48:50,215 he'd get totally freaked, all right? 1064 00:48:50,344 --> 00:48:51,300 He'd never talk to me again. 1065 00:48:51,429 --> 00:48:52,919 Yeah, probably not, you know? 1066 00:48:53,097 --> 00:48:54,838 The Internet's a freaky place to meet people. 1067 00:48:54,974 --> 00:48:56,464 Yo. Hey! 1068 00:48:56,559 --> 00:48:57,424 Hey! 1069 00:48:57,518 --> 00:48:58,974 Fun movie! Freak. Freaky Friday. 1070 00:48:59,061 --> 00:49:01,052 That's a fun movie! Freaky, freak, freaky. 1071 00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:03,388 Yeah, freaky-deaky Dutch! ♪ She 's a super freak ♪ 1072 00:49:03,482 --> 00:49:04,813 - BOTH: ♪ Super freak ♪ - You guys are weird. 1073 00:49:05,401 --> 00:49:07,733 I need a Band-Aid. Those programs are a bitch. 1074 00:49:10,156 --> 00:49:12,523 Erm, yo. Martin was having trouble running his lines 1075 00:49:12,616 --> 00:49:16,325 and we were thinking we could go to Waffle House and go over 'em. 1076 00:49:17,538 --> 00:49:18,494 - Really? - Yeah. 1077 00:49:18,581 --> 00:49:19,446 That would be great. 1078 00:49:20,124 --> 00:49:21,159 I'm insky. 1079 00:49:23,377 --> 00:49:25,618 Good work, Spier. Go to hell, Martin. 1080 00:49:30,926 --> 00:49:31,791 (cell phone chimes) 1081 00:49:35,097 --> 00:49:36,963 BLUE: Jacques, if I were a betting man, 1082 00:49:37,224 --> 00:49:39,340 I'd say you were drunk emailing me during that last letter. 1083 00:49:39,768 --> 00:49:41,429 Don't worry. I liked it. 1084 00:49:41,770 --> 00:49:43,681 As for coming out, I know what you mean 1085 00:49:43,772 --> 00:49:44,978 about wanting to wait till college. 1086 00:49:45,107 --> 00:49:46,689 But our emails have inspired me. 1087 00:49:47,401 --> 00:49:49,768 I 'm going to tell my family. So thanks, Jacques. 1088 00:49:50,362 --> 00:49:52,103 Love, Blue. 1089 00:50:05,377 --> 00:50:06,708 (indistinct chatter) 1090 00:50:06,962 --> 00:50:07,827 Yeah. 1091 00:50:10,382 --> 00:50:11,247 MARTIN: Hey! 1092 00:50:11,717 --> 00:50:14,004 Madame. ABBY: Oh. 1093 00:50:16,055 --> 00:50:17,671 (chuckles) Simon... 1094 00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:20,507 How the thespians rehearse, right? 1095 00:50:20,601 --> 00:50:21,511 LYLE: Hey, guys. 1096 00:50:22,186 --> 00:50:23,267 What can I get you? 1097 00:50:23,521 --> 00:50:26,104 Lyle! You guys know Lyle? We have Latin together. 1098 00:50:26,232 --> 00:50:27,518 ABBY: I don't think so. 1099 00:50:27,942 --> 00:50:29,023 Hi. How's it going? 1100 00:50:29,109 --> 00:50:31,726 Actually, we had Bio together last year? 1101 00:50:31,904 --> 00:50:33,144 - SIMON: Oh, really? - It's Simon, right? 1102 00:50:33,405 --> 00:50:36,193 Yeah. Yeah, sorry, I don't, um... 1103 00:50:36,325 --> 00:50:38,316 It's okay. It was like a big class, 1104 00:50:38,452 --> 00:50:39,783 and I have a good memory for faces. 1105 00:50:41,080 --> 00:50:42,491 What can I get you guys? 1106 00:50:42,581 --> 00:50:44,538 MARTIN: Well, we plan on being here for a while. 1107 00:50:44,833 --> 00:50:47,450 So, we're gonna start off small and go larger. 1108 00:50:48,128 --> 00:50:51,291 Probably get some bacon first, some sausage. I'd say... 1109 00:50:52,258 --> 00:50:54,966 ABBY: "You're right. I'm much too strange and extraordinary. 1110 00:50:55,261 --> 00:50:57,753 Much! And much too distracting!" 1111 00:50:58,222 --> 00:50:59,178 Wow. 1112 00:51:00,099 --> 00:51:01,715 And you never did any acting at your old school? 1113 00:51:02,726 --> 00:51:04,888 No. Can we get back to... 1114 00:51:04,979 --> 00:51:06,561 And yet, you're from D.C., right? 1115 00:51:06,647 --> 00:51:08,012 Yeah. Can you give me my next cue, though? 1116 00:51:08,107 --> 00:51:09,768 MARTIN: So why did you move here? 1117 00:51:10,651 --> 00:51:12,141 Because my parents got divorced 1118 00:51:12,278 --> 00:51:14,019 and my aunt found us an apartment in her building. 1119 00:51:14,321 --> 00:51:16,653 - Why'd they get divorced? - Why does it matter, Martin? 1120 00:51:16,782 --> 00:51:18,022 Are you writing a book about girls 1121 00:51:18,117 --> 00:51:19,528 from a broken home in D.C.? 1122 00:51:20,744 --> 00:51:21,779 So? 1123 00:51:23,205 --> 00:51:25,116 I thought that my dad 1124 00:51:25,249 --> 00:51:27,832 was the greatest person on the planet. 1125 00:51:29,545 --> 00:51:33,334 But it turns out that he's just a sad, tired loser 1126 00:51:33,507 --> 00:51:35,874 who hates his job, drinks way too much beer, 1127 00:51:36,135 --> 00:51:37,296 and cheats on his wife. 1128 00:51:37,803 --> 00:51:40,215 To make up for all the stuff that I just mentioned, so... 1129 00:51:40,431 --> 00:51:41,762 Well, I'm sorry to hear that. 1130 00:51:42,516 --> 00:51:43,381 Yeah. 1131 00:51:43,809 --> 00:51:45,425 You deserve the father that you thought you had. 1132 00:51:48,272 --> 00:51:49,683 You know what, Abby? 1133 00:51:51,525 --> 00:51:53,311 You deserve a goddamn superhero. 1134 00:51:54,194 --> 00:51:56,356 Okay, thank you. Let's get back to the... 1135 00:51:56,572 --> 00:51:57,437 Say it. 1136 00:51:59,158 --> 00:52:00,023 What? 1137 00:52:00,826 --> 00:52:02,032 I wanna hear you say, 1138 00:52:02,536 --> 00:52:06,120 "|, Abby Susso, am an incredible young woman 1139 00:52:06,957 --> 00:52:09,574 and deserve a goddamn superhero." 1140 00:52:09,877 --> 00:52:12,369 I'm not gonna say that, Martin. (laughing) 1141 00:52:12,671 --> 00:52:14,082 Okay. Well, um... 1142 00:52:14,965 --> 00:52:16,455 I won't stop until you say it. 1143 00:52:17,384 --> 00:52:18,249 ABBY: Okay. 1144 00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:21,086 What are you... Excuse me. 1145 00:52:21,347 --> 00:52:22,929 -Waffle House patrons! -ABBY: Martin. Martin, stop. 1146 00:52:23,015 --> 00:52:24,597 - Pardon the interruption. - BOTH: Martin. 1147 00:52:24,725 --> 00:52:27,057 I would just like to say that Abby Susso here 1148 00:52:27,227 --> 00:52:28,433 is an incredible young woman. 1149 00:52:28,646 --> 00:52:29,636 Martin, please. 1150 00:52:29,730 --> 00:52:31,812 And deserves a goddamn superhero. 1151 00:52:31,940 --> 00:52:34,147 - Okay, okay... - That's right. Abby Susso! 1152 00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:35,566 Abby Susso I'm Abby Susso! 1153 00:52:35,736 --> 00:52:37,477 is an incredible young woman! ABBY: I'm Abby Susso! 1154 00:52:37,738 --> 00:52:40,070 Incredible young woman, and deserves... 1155 00:52:40,491 --> 00:52:41,947 A goddamn superhero. A goddamn superhero. 1156 00:52:42,159 --> 00:52:43,900 A goddamn superhero! A goddamn superhero! 1157 00:52:44,286 --> 00:52:45,617 A goddamn superhero! 1158 00:52:52,294 --> 00:52:53,159 Yeah. 1159 00:52:54,088 --> 00:52:55,169 All right. (claps) 1160 00:52:56,173 --> 00:52:57,663 Breakthrough. Yeah. 1161 00:52:58,592 --> 00:53:01,084 Okay, you can all go back to your meals. Thank you. 1162 00:53:01,178 --> 00:53:02,668 Please sit down. Please. 1163 00:53:04,056 --> 00:53:06,013 (Martin clears throat) (Abby sighs) 1164 00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:07,218 Well... 1165 00:53:07,935 --> 00:53:10,597 Well, let's get back to... 1166 00:53:11,313 --> 00:53:13,270 my entrance into your song. I'm gonna take five. 1167 00:53:13,357 --> 00:53:14,222 (Abby laughs) 1168 00:53:14,316 --> 00:53:16,227 MARTIN: "Ah, the Kit Kat Klub proudly presents... 1169 00:53:16,360 --> 00:53:17,270 I'll be right back. 1170 00:53:17,361 --> 00:53:19,193 ...a beautiful woman coming straight from England." 1171 00:53:19,321 --> 00:53:21,904 Sally Bowles, everybody." (laughs) 1172 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:33,199 Hey- 1173 00:53:34,962 --> 00:53:38,000 Were you in Bio when they did that identifying leaves test? 1174 00:53:38,298 --> 00:53:40,665 Yes. And Joel Winslow ate that poison ivy. 1175 00:53:41,051 --> 00:53:42,541 Because Doug Fogerty told him it was pot. 1176 00:53:42,720 --> 00:53:44,176 Right. (laughs) SIMON: Poor Joel. 1177 00:53:44,304 --> 00:53:46,671 I think he just wants to be liked 'cause... 1178 00:53:47,683 --> 00:53:50,471 you ever notice that he has extra pens in his backpack? 1179 00:53:50,561 --> 00:53:53,428 Like, you know, he's just waiting for the day 1180 00:53:53,522 --> 00:53:55,388 that someone comes up to ask him for a pen? 1181 00:53:56,066 --> 00:53:59,149 And then he can be that guy to give 'em a pen. 1182 00:54:00,487 --> 00:54:01,898 You see everything, don't you, Simon? 1183 00:54:02,281 --> 00:54:03,362 I don't know. 1184 00:54:04,450 --> 00:54:06,066 But Simon means "the one who hears" 1185 00:54:06,201 --> 00:54:08,283 and Spier means "the one who sees" 1186 00:54:08,370 --> 00:54:10,577 so you put that all together 1187 00:54:10,664 --> 00:54:13,406 and pretty sure that means I was just destined 1188 00:54:13,542 --> 00:54:14,748 to be up in everybody's business. 1189 00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:19,041 I've gotta get back inside 1190 00:54:19,173 --> 00:54:20,459 and scrub down some waffle irons. 1191 00:54:21,091 --> 00:54:22,957 Duty calls. Indeed. 1192 00:54:24,094 --> 00:54:25,209 I'll see you in there. 1193 00:54:25,637 --> 00:54:26,843 Yeah, I'll see ya. 1194 00:54:33,937 --> 00:54:34,802 (cell phone chimes) 1195 00:54:42,780 --> 00:54:43,645 Hi. 1196 00:54:44,740 --> 00:54:47,323 BLUE: So my dad's ﬂying in tonight for Hanukkah. 1197 00:54:47,659 --> 00:54:48,615 If you are thinking, 1198 00:54:48,702 --> 00:54:50,113 "But Hanukkah isn't for another month!" 1199 00:54:50,204 --> 00:54:51,660 Well, you are correct. 1200 00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:54,113 Welcome to navigating divorced parents. 1201 00:54:55,000 --> 00:54:56,411 Take holidays where you can get them. 1202 00:54:56,668 --> 00:54:59,410 And my dad's staying at the same crappy motel as always. 1203 00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,371 We'll do all our horribly awkward traditions. 1204 00:55:02,758 --> 00:55:05,170 We'll light the menorah and I'll silently pray 1205 00:55:05,260 --> 00:55:06,842 that the sprinklers don't go off. 1206 00:55:07,221 --> 00:55:08,632 That's happened twice before. 1207 00:55:10,474 --> 00:55:12,681 Would you believe I'm considering doubling down 1208 00:55:12,851 --> 00:55:14,012 and turning this whole awkward mess 1209 00:55:14,102 --> 00:55:15,718 into a coming out thing? 1210 00:55:16,855 --> 00:55:18,016 Do you think I'm crazy? 1211 00:55:19,024 --> 00:55:20,640 SIMON: No, Blue, I don't think you're crazy. 1212 00:55:21,193 --> 00:55:23,025 I think you're crazy brave. 1213 00:55:37,584 --> 00:55:40,167 ABBY: Honestly, Martin used to annoy the crap out of me. 1214 00:55:40,254 --> 00:55:42,336 But he's actually kind of a cool person. 1215 00:55:44,842 --> 00:55:46,549 I've been meaning to ask you about your parents. 1216 00:55:47,344 --> 00:55:48,630 I just didn't wanna say anything 1217 00:55:48,720 --> 00:55:49,926 when we were actually in the restaurant. 1218 00:55:50,055 --> 00:55:51,841 I wasn't sure if you wanted to talk about it. 1219 00:55:52,307 --> 00:55:54,389 Yeah. No, I don't mention it a lot 1220 00:55:54,810 --> 00:55:57,097 because it kind of messes with my image. 1221 00:55:58,105 --> 00:55:59,266 What kind of image? 1222 00:56:01,108 --> 00:56:05,318 The girl who is excited to start a new school senior year. 1223 00:56:06,029 --> 00:56:09,613 Girl whose life didn't just end, like, three months ago, 1224 00:56:09,700 --> 00:56:11,941 who's angry and sad all the time. 1225 00:56:14,705 --> 00:56:16,036 Girl who still believes in love. 1226 00:56:17,165 --> 00:56:19,873 Come on. You still believe in love. 1227 00:56:21,044 --> 00:56:21,909 Maybe. 1228 00:56:22,671 --> 00:56:23,877 Have you ever been in love? 1229 00:56:27,593 --> 00:56:28,708 I think so. 1230 00:56:43,567 --> 00:56:44,432 Abby. 1231 00:56:45,694 --> 00:56:46,559 Yeah? 1232 00:56:50,073 --> 00:56:50,938 I'm gay. 1233 00:56:52,910 --> 00:56:53,775 Oh. 1234 00:56:56,788 --> 00:56:58,074 You can't tell anyone though. 1235 00:56:59,333 --> 00:57:00,368 Nobody really knows, 1236 00:57:00,542 --> 00:57:02,328 and I don't really want people to find out. 1237 00:57:02,419 --> 00:57:03,830 I won't. I promise. 1238 00:57:04,254 --> 00:57:05,119 Okay- 1239 00:57:10,302 --> 00:57:11,417 You surprised? 1240 00:57:12,804 --> 00:57:13,885 No. 1241 00:57:15,223 --> 00:57:16,884 So you knew? No. 1242 00:57:18,518 --> 00:57:19,599 But you're not surprised? 1243 00:57:20,896 --> 00:57:22,136 Do you want me to be surprised? 1244 00:57:23,857 --> 00:57:24,847 I don't know. 1245 00:57:26,151 --> 00:57:27,141 Okay- 1246 00:57:28,028 --> 00:57:29,189 Well, I love you. 1247 00:57:30,572 --> 00:57:31,437 So... 1248 00:57:40,707 --> 00:57:41,697 Love you, too. 1249 00:57:48,632 --> 00:57:49,497 (sighs in relief) 1250 00:57:49,925 --> 00:57:52,041 (turn signal beeping) 1251 00:57:52,177 --> 00:57:53,417 There's no one behind us. 1252 00:57:53,512 --> 00:57:54,593 You don't have to put your blinker on. 1253 00:57:54,680 --> 00:57:55,636 Okay, just being safe. Yeah. 1254 00:58:10,195 --> 00:58:13,028 SIMON: Dear Blue, I hope it goes okay with your dad. 1255 00:58:13,407 --> 00:58:15,774 Whatever happens, you inspired me. 1256 00:58:16,243 --> 00:58:18,029 I came out to my friend tonight. 1257 00:58:18,120 --> 00:58:19,906 And I never would have done that without you. 1258 00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:22,029 Maybe we should ride this bravery train 1259 00:58:22,165 --> 00:58:23,530 and reveal our identities. 1260 00:58:24,167 --> 00:58:26,534 I'm dying to know who you are. Love, Jacques. 1261 00:58:33,135 --> 00:58:34,216 (cell phone vibrating) 1262 00:58:37,431 --> 00:58:39,388 BLUE: I told my dad. 1263 00:58:40,475 --> 00:58:43,843 It was insanely awkward. But also, kind of ﬁne. 1264 00:58:44,980 --> 00:58:46,516 And you got it backwards. 1265 00:58:47,107 --> 00:58:48,689 It's you who inspires me. 1266 00:58:50,736 --> 00:58:51,942 But I'm sorry, 1267 00:58:52,738 --> 00:58:55,070 I'm just not ready for us to know each other's identities. 1268 00:58:55,365 --> 00:58:56,446 Love, Blue. 1269 00:58:58,910 --> 00:59:00,992 (hums the Jaws theme) 1270 00:59:01,079 --> 00:59:03,662 Hey! What are you doing? (growls) I'm a fry shark! 1271 00:59:03,749 --> 00:59:05,660 Yeah! (laughs) 1272 00:59:07,461 --> 00:59:09,418 - MARTIN: That is good. - ABBY: You're a good fry shark. 1273 00:59:09,504 --> 00:59:10,960 - MARTIN: Thank you, thank you. - ABBY: I like that. 1274 00:59:11,048 --> 00:59:12,254 I didn't even know you were coming near. 1275 00:59:12,382 --> 00:59:14,089 - MARTIN: You know what day it is? - ABBY: What day is it? 1276 00:59:14,217 --> 00:59:15,082 MARTIN: Must be Friday! 1277 00:59:15,177 --> 00:59:16,042 BOTH: Oh! 1278 00:59:16,344 --> 00:59:17,709 I guess I'm being loved, right? Right? 1279 00:59:17,888 --> 00:59:19,344 Yeah. Excuse me. 1280 00:59:19,556 --> 00:59:21,297 Hey, what do you get when you get black and Jewish? 1281 00:59:21,475 --> 00:59:22,806 -What? -Bluish. 1282 00:59:23,101 --> 00:59:24,136 ABBY (laughs): That's mean. Simon? 1283 00:59:25,145 --> 00:59:27,637 Since when does Abby find Martin so goddamn funny? 1284 00:59:28,440 --> 00:59:29,305 Yeah, it's crazy. 1285 00:59:29,775 --> 00:59:31,231 NICK: You know, this is stupid. 1286 00:59:31,443 --> 00:59:32,854 I'm just gonna tell her that I like her. 1287 00:59:32,944 --> 00:59:33,900 And I've been thinking 1288 00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:35,144 the whole sexual experience thing, 1289 00:59:35,238 --> 00:59:36,399 it's not that big of a deal. 1290 00:59:36,490 --> 00:59:37,730 And, actually, I've been practicing, right? 1291 00:59:37,824 --> 00:59:39,155 I got this thing online. It's really cool. 1292 00:59:39,284 --> 00:59:41,070 It's called a pocket puss... Abby likes Martin. 1293 00:59:42,204 --> 00:59:43,319 She told me herself. 1294 00:59:43,455 --> 00:59:45,822 (scoffs) But he's Martin. I know. 1295 00:59:47,209 --> 00:59:49,041 NICK: Look, I don't care. I'm gonna try. 1296 00:59:49,169 --> 00:59:51,160 Hey, wait, wait. What about Leah? 1297 00:59:52,089 --> 00:59:53,124 What about Leah? 1298 00:59:53,882 --> 00:59:54,747 SIMON: Dude. 1299 00:59:57,052 --> 00:59:58,042 Leah's in love with you. 1300 00:59:58,345 --> 00:59:59,255 No, she's not. 1301 00:59:59,596 --> 01:00:00,631 Are you kidding me? 1302 01:00:00,722 --> 01:00:02,178 I mean, come on. The way she looks at you 1303 01:00:02,390 --> 01:00:04,927 and how she's been all jealous ever since Abby's been around? 1304 01:00:05,018 --> 01:00:07,555 And she blushes every time you come into the room. 1305 01:00:09,272 --> 01:00:10,683 Look, you and Abby... 1306 01:00:11,775 --> 01:00:12,810 it's never gonna happen. 1307 01:00:13,527 --> 01:00:14,858 But you and Leah... 1308 01:00:15,570 --> 01:00:17,231 I mean, you could be incredible together. 1309 01:00:28,375 --> 01:00:29,410 -LEAH: Hey. -What's up? 1310 01:00:31,545 --> 01:00:33,035 So I have something to tell you. 1311 01:00:34,965 --> 01:00:37,423 Nick just asked me to get dinner before the homecoming game. 1312 01:00:39,052 --> 01:00:40,042 Okay- 1313 01:00:40,804 --> 01:00:43,011 No, like, Si, he was like... 1314 01:00:43,306 --> 01:00:45,764 He came up to me and he's like, "Do you wanna go get dinner?" 1315 01:00:45,976 --> 01:00:46,932 All right, and I was like, 1316 01:00:47,018 --> 01:00:48,508 "Sure, are Abby and Simon in?" And he was like 1317 01:00:48,937 --> 01:00:51,770 "I was thinking it could just be the two of us. Like, a date." 1318 01:00:53,150 --> 01:00:54,015 That's amazing. 1319 01:00:55,443 --> 01:00:56,308 It is? 1320 01:00:57,946 --> 01:00:58,811 Yeah. 1321 01:00:59,865 --> 01:01:00,946 Leah, come on. 1322 01:01:04,077 --> 01:01:05,283 I know you're into him. 1323 01:01:05,579 --> 01:01:06,444 (scoffs) What? 1324 01:01:06,997 --> 01:01:08,908 All that stuff that you were talking about 1325 01:01:09,040 --> 01:01:10,246 the night after Bram's party, about, 1326 01:01:10,375 --> 01:01:12,662 you know, being so into one person 1327 01:01:12,752 --> 01:01:13,913 that it almost kills you. 1328 01:01:15,755 --> 01:01:16,870 You were talking about Nick. 1329 01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:20,374 Uh... 1330 01:01:21,344 --> 01:01:23,255 So you think I should go out with him? 1331 01:01:24,264 --> 01:01:25,925 Yes. Yes. 1332 01:01:28,185 --> 01:01:29,050 Okay- 1333 01:01:30,562 --> 01:01:31,518 -SIMON: Yeah? -LEAH: Yeah! 1334 01:01:31,605 --> 01:01:33,266 SIMON: I promise you, you're not gonna regret it. 1335 01:01:33,356 --> 01:01:34,391 It's gonna be great! 1336 01:01:35,108 --> 01:01:36,519 (all cheering) 1337 01:01:37,277 --> 01:01:40,736 Let's pull out your claws, Grizzlies! 1338 01:01:41,239 --> 01:01:44,448 Oh! (laughs) 1339 01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:52,282 Simon, that Almont QB is insanely hot. 1340 01:01:52,959 --> 01:01:54,791 We can talk about stuff like this now, you know. 1341 01:01:54,878 --> 01:01:56,289 Yeah, I still don't know 1342 01:01:56,379 --> 01:01:57,744 if I really quite figured out how. 1343 01:01:59,633 --> 01:02:01,795 Seriously? Yeah. 1344 01:02:01,968 --> 01:02:04,881 We gotta practice. All right. Simon. 1345 01:02:05,055 --> 01:02:06,170 Yeah? Do you think 1346 01:02:06,264 --> 01:02:11,009 that quarterback is lookin' fine in those hot pants? 1347 01:02:12,562 --> 01:02:13,643 He's lookin' pretty fine. 1348 01:02:15,899 --> 01:02:18,106 No. No. No. 1349 01:02:18,652 --> 01:02:21,940 Fine! Good. Put your body into it. 1350 01:02:22,530 --> 01:02:23,895 Fine! (grunts) 1351 01:02:24,157 --> 01:02:25,272 That was really good. 1352 01:02:25,367 --> 01:02:26,482 That was so good. Thanks. 1353 01:02:26,952 --> 01:02:28,659 Hey, check it out. It's the Waffle House guy. 1354 01:02:30,538 --> 01:02:31,619 SIMON: Oh, yeah. 1355 01:02:32,624 --> 01:02:33,659 Whoa. 1356 01:02:34,751 --> 01:02:37,288 Lyle? I don't know. Could be. 1357 01:02:37,379 --> 01:02:39,086 I don't know. Do you think he's... 1358 01:02:39,172 --> 01:02:40,253 I don't know. 1359 01:02:41,383 --> 01:02:42,544 Okay, well, you should talk to him. 1360 01:02:42,634 --> 01:02:45,171 I'm gonna go get a coffee. Look, you are fine! 1361 01:02:45,428 --> 01:02:46,589 (mouthing) You got this. 1362 01:02:47,472 --> 01:02:48,337 Hi. 1363 01:02:50,058 --> 01:02:52,595 Hey. If it isn't my favorite waiter. 1364 01:02:52,852 --> 01:02:55,640 Ah, there he is. The guy who sees everything. 1365 01:02:55,981 --> 01:02:56,937 Yeah. (chuckles) 1366 01:02:57,482 --> 01:02:59,223 Hey, I wouldn't have taken you for a homecoming guy. 1367 01:02:59,359 --> 01:03:00,690 Oh, just here for the coffee. 1368 01:03:00,986 --> 01:03:03,148 Of course. Yeah, it's all about the cappuccinos 1369 01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:04,728 and camaraderie for this guy. 1370 01:03:06,157 --> 01:03:07,989 (clears throat) (laughs) 1371 01:03:10,954 --> 01:03:11,910 I'm glad you're here. 1372 01:03:13,081 --> 01:03:13,946 You are? 1373 01:03:14,791 --> 01:03:15,781 Yeah. 1374 01:03:16,668 --> 01:03:18,284 'Cause I wanted to ask you something. 1375 01:03:20,171 --> 01:03:21,332 I was gonna ask you the other day 1376 01:03:21,423 --> 01:03:23,755 and then I was, like, too chickenshit. 1377 01:03:26,136 --> 01:03:27,171 What's Abby's deal? 1378 01:03:29,556 --> 01:03:30,967 I know you and her hang out a lot. 1379 01:03:31,057 --> 01:03:32,843 Are the two of you like a thing, or... 1380 01:03:33,643 --> 01:03:34,724 No. 1381 01:03:35,395 --> 01:03:37,261 No, uh, we're just friends. 1382 01:03:37,689 --> 01:03:39,145 I could never be just friends with someone that hot. 1383 01:03:39,232 --> 01:03:41,348 Yeah! Every day is a struggle. 1384 01:03:43,361 --> 01:03:45,773 (sighs) I gotta go. I'll see ya. 1385 01:03:49,784 --> 01:03:51,445 MASCOT: Hey! You! 1386 01:03:52,662 --> 01:03:54,778 Little birdie told me you're into bears! 1387 01:03:55,040 --> 01:03:56,201 (growls) 1388 01:03:56,791 --> 01:03:57,656 (mascot laughs) 1389 01:03:58,293 --> 01:03:59,499 Dude! It's me! 1390 01:04:00,045 --> 01:04:00,910 (grunts) 1391 01:04:01,629 --> 01:04:03,119 I'm the Creekwood bear. 1392 01:04:03,882 --> 01:04:05,088 Of course you are. 1393 01:04:05,216 --> 01:04:06,172 Thank you. 1394 01:04:06,593 --> 01:04:07,583 Not a compliment. 1395 01:04:07,677 --> 01:04:09,793 Hey, um... I figured out my next move with Abby. 1396 01:04:10,263 --> 01:04:11,628 Great, that's good for you, Martin. 1397 01:04:12,557 --> 01:04:14,423 I just wanted to run it by you real quick. 1398 01:04:14,642 --> 01:04:16,053 No, Martin, look. 1399 01:04:16,436 --> 01:04:17,767 I've been helping you for weeks 1400 01:04:17,854 --> 01:04:19,219 and I am sick and tired of helping you 1401 01:04:19,314 --> 01:04:20,304 mess with my friends' lives. 1402 01:04:20,398 --> 01:04:21,559 So why don't you just do that shit 1403 01:04:21,691 --> 01:04:22,806 that you did at Wafﬂe House? 1404 01:04:23,068 --> 01:04:24,149 That went great. 1405 01:04:24,819 --> 01:04:26,435 So you're saying I should go for it? 1406 01:04:26,571 --> 01:04:27,606 It's kind of a big gesture. 1407 01:04:27,697 --> 01:04:29,904 Go big or go home! Right, Martin? 1408 01:04:30,825 --> 01:04:31,906 Go big or go home. 1409 01:04:32,202 --> 01:04:34,409 I like that. Thanks for the pep talk, man! 1410 01:04:35,413 --> 01:04:36,369 Gotta get amped up. 1411 01:04:37,248 --> 01:04:38,955 (grunts) Come on! 1412 01:04:39,376 --> 01:04:40,241 (cheerleaders whooping) 1413 01:04:40,752 --> 01:04:41,992 (marching band playing "Bad Romance") 1414 01:04:42,128 --> 01:04:43,994 (players yelling) 1415 01:04:45,340 --> 01:04:46,546 MR. WORTH: We're gonna take ya! 1416 01:04:46,716 --> 01:04:48,627 (singing to "Bad Romance") ♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪ 1417 01:04:48,718 --> 01:04:50,800 ♪ Claw, claw, claw, claw, claw ♪ 1418 01:04:55,392 --> 01:04:56,427 AARON: Ethan! 1419 01:04:57,310 --> 01:04:58,721 I didn't know you like football. 1420 01:04:59,229 --> 01:05:00,936 He's just here to check out the packages. 1421 01:05:01,022 --> 01:05:02,262 Didn't your mother ever tell you 1422 01:05:02,357 --> 01:05:04,439 not to grab your micropenis in public? 1423 01:05:04,818 --> 01:05:06,934 Could we get some hummus for that baby carrot? 1424 01:05:07,195 --> 01:05:08,606 (laughs) Shut up, man. 1425 01:05:13,451 --> 01:05:15,408 SIMON: Hey, guys. What's up? Hey. 1426 01:05:18,790 --> 01:05:19,655 How was dinner? 1427 01:05:19,833 --> 01:05:20,698 It was good. 1428 01:05:21,459 --> 01:05:23,621 Yeah, uh, we got soup dumplings. 1429 01:05:24,421 --> 01:05:26,287 That dumpling place I told you about? 1430 01:05:27,215 --> 01:05:28,080 Yeah. 1431 01:05:28,174 --> 01:05:30,006 You know, maybe you could go with Martin. 1432 01:05:31,761 --> 01:05:33,547 Why would I go with Martin? (scoffs) 1433 01:05:34,222 --> 01:05:37,010 ANNOUNCER: Please stand for the national anthem. 1434 01:05:41,479 --> 01:05:43,186 This goes out to all the refugees. 1435 01:05:44,149 --> 01:05:46,140 And my vocal coach, Monica Lewis. 1436 01:05:46,776 --> 01:05:47,641 MAN: Yeah! 1437 01:05:48,695 --> 01:05:53,610 ♪ O say can you see ♪ 1438 01:05:54,284 --> 01:05:59,575 ♪ By the dawn 's early light ♪ 1439 01:06:00,123 --> 01:06:01,864 ♪ What so proud... ♪ 1440 01:06:02,417 --> 01:06:03,748 What the hell are you doing? 1441 01:06:05,462 --> 01:06:06,497 Sorry. Hi. 1442 01:06:06,671 --> 01:06:08,912 Hi, everyone. Uh, sorry to interrupt. 1443 01:06:09,007 --> 01:06:10,623 Why are we interrupting the national anthem? 1444 01:06:10,717 --> 01:06:12,003 MARTIN: But I have something to say... 1445 01:06:12,635 --> 01:06:14,751 that's a little more important than the national anthem. 1446 01:06:15,972 --> 01:06:17,178 No offense, America. 1447 01:06:19,434 --> 01:06:22,347 Abigail Katherine Susso... 1448 01:06:23,021 --> 01:06:25,137 when you transferred to Creekwood High School, 1449 01:06:25,690 --> 01:06:27,681 just a short three and a half months ago, 1450 01:06:29,110 --> 01:06:31,226 you not only transferred into a new school, 1451 01:06:31,738 --> 01:06:34,480 you transferred your way into a new heart 1452 01:06:35,325 --> 01:06:37,987 belonging to me. My heart. Right here. 1453 01:06:38,703 --> 01:06:41,491 And whether it was being your partner in pong, 1454 01:06:42,123 --> 01:06:43,705 or your Waffle House warrior, 1455 01:06:44,751 --> 01:06:45,957 I have cherished... 1456 01:06:46,544 --> 01:06:51,505 the 135,300 minutes that we've spent together. 1457 01:06:52,133 --> 01:06:53,168 Oh, I'm sorry. 1458 01:06:53,927 --> 01:06:58,012 135,301 minutes. 1459 01:06:58,556 --> 01:07:01,765 And I know that you're this smart, talented 1460 01:07:02,352 --> 01:07:03,558 perfect creature. 1461 01:07:04,646 --> 01:07:09,857 And, uh, I'm just a sweaty schlub in a bear costume. 1462 01:07:10,777 --> 01:07:12,359 But like old Bogie used to say, 1463 01:07:13,488 --> 01:07:14,853 it's a "crazy mixed-up world." 1464 01:07:15,949 --> 01:07:17,110 So, Abby, 1465 01:07:17,784 --> 01:07:18,990 without further ado... 1466 01:07:21,329 --> 01:07:22,364 will you go out with me? 1467 01:07:23,915 --> 01:07:26,031 She's too hot for you, assface! 1468 01:07:27,001 --> 01:07:29,083 Excuse me. Sorry. 1469 01:07:32,465 --> 01:07:34,047 Just say yes. Say yes. 1470 01:07:34,259 --> 01:07:35,124 ABBY: Martin... 1471 01:07:36,344 --> 01:07:38,051 I am so sorry. 1472 01:07:39,138 --> 01:07:40,879 I don't feel that way about you. 1473 01:07:42,892 --> 01:07:43,848 You don't? 1474 01:07:45,770 --> 01:07:46,635 No. 1475 01:07:47,272 --> 01:07:48,854 But I really like hanging out with you 1476 01:07:48,940 --> 01:07:52,934 and I don't know, maybe we could still be friends, you know? 1477 01:07:53,528 --> 01:07:54,484 Yeah, uh... 1478 01:07:56,447 --> 01:07:57,562 Are those doves? 1479 01:08:01,327 --> 01:08:02,692 (crowd gasps) 1480 01:08:03,037 --> 01:08:04,869 No, no, hey, hey! Suraj! 1481 01:08:05,081 --> 01:08:07,322 Hey! No, no! She said no! No, don't. 1482 01:08:08,334 --> 01:08:10,245 (crowd laughing) 1483 01:08:15,883 --> 01:08:17,465 Yo, I thought you said she liked him. 1484 01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:22,171 Not the ceremonious dove launch I was hoping for. 1485 01:08:22,515 --> 01:08:25,553 But still uplifting to free some birds. 1486 01:08:26,060 --> 01:08:26,925 Yeah. 1487 01:08:27,729 --> 01:08:28,844 Okay, uh... 1488 01:08:30,148 --> 01:08:31,104 Enjoy the game. 1489 01:08:33,276 --> 01:08:35,313 Nice try, Martin! And way to go, Martin! 1490 01:08:35,403 --> 01:08:37,314 You gave it a shot! Right? 1491 01:08:37,739 --> 01:08:39,275 (all cheering) 1492 01:08:48,708 --> 01:08:49,698 That was terrible. 1493 01:08:50,793 --> 01:08:52,909 Don't worry, people will get over it in a few weeks. 1494 01:08:58,968 --> 01:09:00,083 (glass shattering) 1495 01:09:02,347 --> 01:09:03,257 (bear growls) 1496 01:09:13,900 --> 01:09:15,186 MARTIN (imitating Trump): This is Donald J. Trump. 1497 01:09:15,318 --> 01:09:17,309 Martin Addison can't come to the phone right now. 1498 01:09:17,403 --> 01:09:20,065 Hey, Martin, it's Simon. Again. 1499 01:09:20,281 --> 01:09:23,524 Um, look, I wanna make sure you're doing all right. 1500 01:09:23,618 --> 01:09:25,279 I know it's been tough since, uh... 1501 01:09:26,412 --> 01:09:29,200 Well, you know since when. Um, listen. Just... 1502 01:09:30,208 --> 01:09:31,573 Just give me a call back, okay? 1503 01:09:31,751 --> 01:09:32,991 I just wanna make sure you're okay. 1504 01:09:34,128 --> 01:09:35,118 -(knocking on window) -(yelps) 1505 01:09:35,338 --> 01:09:38,080 Hey! What you doin' in there? 1506 01:09:38,216 --> 01:09:39,081 Really? 1507 01:09:39,258 --> 01:09:41,340 I need you to help me decorate. Untangle these for me, will ya? 1508 01:09:41,469 --> 01:09:42,959 This is not cool. I'll be down in a minute, okay? 1509 01:09:43,054 --> 01:09:44,920 - What's not cool? - I'll be down in a minute. 1510 01:09:45,014 --> 01:09:47,051 The fact that you're on a ladder next to my room! 1511 01:09:47,141 --> 01:09:48,427 I can still clearly see you. 1512 01:09:49,060 --> 01:09:52,849 All right, there you go. Okay. Merry Christmas. 1513 01:09:53,523 --> 01:09:54,479 (computer chimes) 1514 01:09:58,736 --> 01:09:59,851 BLUE: Jacques, 1515 01:09:59,946 --> 01:10:01,562 I'm drinking eggnog and packing to go to my dad's cabin 1516 01:10:01,656 --> 01:10:02,566 on Lake Rabun. 1517 01:10:02,740 --> 01:10:04,981 I'm pretty sure there 's a photo of it on the Wikipedia page 1518 01:10:05,118 --> 01:10:06,279 for "middle of nowhere. " 1519 01:10:06,911 --> 01:10:08,151 Middle of nowhere. 1520 01:10:08,871 --> 01:10:10,532 I'm going to an unheated vacation house 1521 01:10:10,665 --> 01:10:11,746 in the middle of nowhere. 1522 01:10:13,084 --> 01:10:14,370 Oh, shit. 1523 01:10:14,961 --> 01:10:17,328 BLUE: There's barely electricity and deﬁnitely no cell service 1524 01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:20,004 so this will be my last email for a while. 1525 01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:22,294 It should be a real rite of passage. 1526 01:10:22,510 --> 01:10:24,296 A dad and his gay son pretending they like 1527 01:10:24,387 --> 01:10:26,469 to ﬁsh and trying to ﬁnd things to talk about. 1528 01:10:26,723 --> 01:10:28,088 It's gonna to be an excruciating two weeks 1529 01:10:28,224 --> 01:10:30,215 without you, Jacques. Love, Blue. 1530 01:10:30,685 --> 01:10:32,301 SIMON: Sounds like you're gonna need some good music. 1531 01:10:32,395 --> 01:10:34,306 So I'm sending a list of the seven best 1532 01:10:34,480 --> 01:10:36,312 Christmas songs of all time. 1533 01:10:36,733 --> 01:10:38,144 Of course it includes David Bowie's 1534 01:10:38,234 --> 01:10:39,144 "Little Drummer Boy," 1535 01:10:39,235 --> 01:10:40,817 and Smokey Robinson & The Miracles' 1536 01:10:40,903 --> 01:10:41,859 "Christmas Everyday," 1537 01:10:42,071 --> 01:10:43,527 but the number one song you're gonna need, 1538 01:10:43,740 --> 01:10:45,981 and trust me, I know this sounds a little bit twee... 1539 01:10:46,659 --> 01:10:48,149 ("Someday at Christmas" playing) 1540 01:11:43,758 --> 01:11:46,250 (cell phone ringing) 1541 01:11:49,347 --> 01:11:51,054 -Si, have you seen it? - Hey. 1542 01:11:51,724 --> 01:11:52,589 Seen what? 1543 01:11:53,142 --> 01:11:54,007 CreekSecrets. 1544 01:11:55,186 --> 01:11:56,802 You need to look at your computer right away. 1545 01:11:59,941 --> 01:12:01,898 MARTIN: Dear fellow Creekwood students, 1546 01:12:02,109 --> 01:12:04,521 Simon Spier has a secret male pen pal. 1547 01:12:04,737 --> 01:12:05,943 Because he's gay. 1548 01:12:06,364 --> 01:12:08,605 Interested parties may contact him directly 1549 01:12:08,699 --> 01:12:10,610 to discuss arrangements for butt sex. 1550 01:12:10,993 --> 01:12:12,779 Ladies need not apply. 1551 01:12:13,412 --> 01:12:15,449 We should all probably be talking about this 1552 01:12:15,540 --> 01:12:17,577 instead of Martin Addison's homecoming debacle 1553 01:12:18,084 --> 01:12:19,791 which was actually kind of sweet, 1554 01:12:20,086 --> 01:12:21,702 and romantic, if you think about it. 1555 01:12:22,463 --> 01:12:24,329 Sincerely, Anonymous. 1556 01:12:30,888 --> 01:12:33,220 LEAH: Si, have you read it? 1557 01:12:33,558 --> 01:12:34,639 SIMON: I can't talk right now. 1558 01:12:34,725 --> 01:12:36,307 - LEAH: No. Si, wait! - I gotta go. 1559 01:12:37,436 --> 01:12:38,301 Si? 1560 01:12:38,896 --> 01:12:39,761 I saw it. 1561 01:12:40,690 --> 01:12:43,182 I already reported it. They're gonna take it down. 1562 01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:44,357 It's too late. 1563 01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:46,150 No, there's people who've already seen it, so... 1564 01:12:46,529 --> 01:12:47,610 it doesn't really matter. 1565 01:12:49,615 --> 01:12:50,480 It's true. 1566 01:12:52,535 --> 01:12:54,617 I'm... I'm gay. 1567 01:12:55,621 --> 01:12:56,486 Oh... 1568 01:12:57,206 --> 01:12:58,446 So what are you gonna do? 1569 01:12:59,792 --> 01:13:00,657 I don't know. 1570 01:13:01,294 --> 01:13:02,250 You could deny it. 1571 01:13:03,087 --> 01:13:04,873 Why the hell would I deny it, Nora? 1572 01:13:05,047 --> 01:13:06,208 I'm not ashamed of it. 1573 01:13:06,674 --> 01:13:08,665 You've just never really said anything. 1574 01:13:08,926 --> 01:13:09,791 So what? 1575 01:13:09,886 --> 01:13:11,217 What does that have to do with anything? 1576 01:13:11,304 --> 01:13:12,419 What the hell are you talking about? 1577 01:13:12,638 --> 01:13:13,753 (sobbing) Sorry. 1578 01:13:20,021 --> 01:13:21,887 SIMON: I know you're going off the grid and you won't see 1579 01:13:21,981 --> 01:13:23,517 this until you're back, but something's happened. 1580 01:13:24,191 --> 01:13:25,807 You're gonna ﬁnd out who I am. 1581 01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:27,942 And someone posted our emails. 1582 01:13:28,195 --> 01:13:30,732 Please don't freak out. Please, Blue. 1583 01:13:31,157 --> 01:13:32,989 I need you to promise me you won't disappear. 1584 01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:36,283 (computer chiming) 1585 01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:42,578 -(cell phone vibrating) -(exhales) 1586 01:14:08,945 --> 01:14:10,310 NORA: Let me open my present. 1587 01:14:10,780 --> 01:14:12,942 EMILY: Honey, I'm trying to tell you you need to shave. 1588 01:14:14,116 --> 01:14:15,606 JACK: Does that mean you're gonna keep cooking? 1589 01:14:15,701 --> 01:14:17,408 NORA: Yeah, of course. I can make dinner tonight, too. 1590 01:14:17,495 --> 01:14:18,360 - JACK: Awesome. - What's this for? 1591 01:14:18,621 --> 01:14:19,486 Oh! 1592 01:14:19,872 --> 01:14:21,704 This one, Sherlock. There you go. 1593 01:14:27,213 --> 01:14:28,203 NORA: What is it? 1594 01:14:29,674 --> 01:14:31,085 Bluetooth headphones. 1595 01:14:31,175 --> 01:14:32,757 Do you like the black? Oh, I love it. 1596 01:14:32,927 --> 01:14:34,258 EMILY: Because I didn't know if you liked... 1597 01:14:34,345 --> 01:14:35,210 This is great. 1598 01:14:35,304 --> 01:14:36,510 They have other colors. He said he likes it. 1599 01:14:36,597 --> 01:14:38,087 SIMON: No, I love it. Okay. I have the receipt. 1600 01:14:38,224 --> 01:14:39,259 JACK: He's good. 1601 01:14:45,564 --> 01:14:48,556 Actually, I did want to talk to you guys about something. 1602 01:14:49,944 --> 01:14:50,809 What is it? 1603 01:14:52,947 --> 01:14:54,187 Uh, well... 1604 01:14:54,323 --> 01:14:55,279 JACK: Let me guess... 1605 01:14:57,034 --> 01:14:58,195 you got somebody pregnant. 1606 01:14:59,620 --> 01:15:00,576 No, you're pregnant. 1607 01:15:01,122 --> 01:15:03,614 -Yeah. Yeah, I'm pregnant. -JACK (chuckles): I knew it. 1608 01:15:03,708 --> 01:15:04,743 He's got that glow about him, baby. 1609 01:15:04,834 --> 01:15:06,700 - EMILY: Honey. - No. Uh... 1610 01:15:12,842 --> 01:15:13,877 I'm gay. 1611 01:15:16,262 --> 01:15:17,127 Honey. 1612 01:15:20,141 --> 01:15:22,303 And I don't want you guys to think anything different. 1613 01:15:23,019 --> 01:15:23,929 I'm still me. 1614 01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:25,218 Of course you are. 1615 01:15:25,312 --> 01:15:26,677 Oh, Simon. Yeah. 1616 01:15:27,606 --> 01:15:28,812 So you're Gay? 1617 01:15:29,775 --> 01:15:31,391 Which one of your old girlfriends turned ya? 1618 01:15:31,485 --> 01:15:33,226 Was it the one with the big eyebrow... 1619 01:15:33,320 --> 01:15:34,401 Jack. NORA: Jesus Christ. 1620 01:15:34,488 --> 01:15:35,853 Dad, can you ever shut the hell up? 1621 01:15:35,948 --> 01:15:36,813 I'm kidding. 1622 01:15:36,907 --> 01:15:38,193 It's not funny. I'm kidding, Nora. 1623 01:15:38,284 --> 01:15:39,945 Just open up your gift. Please. 1624 01:15:45,374 --> 01:15:46,489 EMILY: It's okay, honey. 1625 01:15:46,709 --> 01:15:47,995 - Nora, I got you this. - NORA: Simon. 1626 01:15:48,085 --> 01:15:49,325 That's for you. No, that's for you. 1627 01:15:49,420 --> 01:15:50,660 That's from me. 1628 01:15:55,718 --> 01:15:56,799 It's a Cuisinart. 1629 01:15:58,262 --> 01:15:59,844 I love it. Thank you, Simon. 1630 01:16:03,851 --> 01:16:06,513 SIMON: Dear Blue, happy New Year. 1631 01:16:06,687 --> 01:16:07,973 I haven't heard from you, 1632 01:16:08,064 --> 01:16:10,351 so I'm going to assume it's because you have no service. 1633 01:16:11,108 --> 01:16:13,190 I came out to my entire family on Christmas. 1634 01:16:13,819 --> 01:16:14,809 It didn't go great. 1635 01:16:15,196 --> 01:16:17,233 And I've been avoiding my friends the whole break 1636 01:16:17,448 --> 01:16:19,030 for all sorts of reasons. 1637 01:16:19,784 --> 01:16:21,240 Change is exhausting. 1638 01:16:21,702 --> 01:16:22,942 I feel like there's nowhere to hide 1639 01:16:23,079 --> 01:16:24,786 from all the newness of everything. 1640 01:16:25,206 --> 01:16:26,617 Except here. With you. 1641 01:16:27,124 --> 01:16:28,330 Please write to me. 1642 01:16:28,709 --> 01:16:31,041 As soon as you get even one bar of service. 1643 01:16:32,296 --> 01:16:33,252 Breakfast burrito? 1644 01:16:34,131 --> 01:16:34,996 Thanks. 1645 01:16:35,382 --> 01:16:36,338 EMILY: Hey, Si. 1646 01:16:38,677 --> 01:16:39,633 Come sit down. 1647 01:16:42,348 --> 01:16:43,383 I'm gonna be late. 1648 01:16:59,115 --> 01:17:00,071 (Sighs) 1649 01:17:15,089 --> 01:17:15,954 Hey, guys- 1650 01:17:16,674 --> 01:17:17,880 Hey, Simon, we need to talk. 1651 01:17:18,884 --> 01:17:21,626 So Abby and I hung out on New Year's Eve, and... 1652 01:17:22,721 --> 01:17:23,836 you see, now we're together. 1653 01:17:24,014 --> 01:17:26,346 -That's awesome. That's great. -NICK: Yeah, it is. 1654 01:17:27,893 --> 01:17:30,055 But then we got to talking about why it took so long. 1655 01:17:30,855 --> 01:17:32,095 ABBY: Why did you tell Nick that I have 1656 01:17:32,273 --> 01:17:33,559 a boyfriend in college named Jonathan? 1657 01:17:33,649 --> 01:17:34,605 Why'd you make that up? 1658 01:17:34,859 --> 01:17:35,724 Look, Martin... 1659 01:17:35,943 --> 01:17:38,651 he was the one who wrote that CreekSecrets post about me. 1660 01:17:39,196 --> 01:17:40,857 He screenshotted my emails 1661 01:17:40,990 --> 01:17:43,652 and he's been using them to blackmail me for months. 1662 01:17:44,368 --> 01:17:46,075 What does that have to do with us, Simon? 1663 01:17:46,912 --> 01:17:48,994 He told me that if I didn't help him get with Abby, 1664 01:17:49,123 --> 01:17:50,454 he'd out me. 1665 01:17:53,043 --> 01:17:54,078 And I... 1666 01:17:54,962 --> 01:17:56,544 That's why I had to keep you guys apart. 1667 01:17:56,797 --> 01:17:58,208 So you made up a bunch of lies. 1668 01:17:59,592 --> 01:18:01,708 And that's why you convinced me to go on that date with Leah? 1669 01:18:02,386 --> 01:18:03,842 You know, to keep me away from Abby? 1670 01:18:04,054 --> 01:18:06,045 So, wait. Running lines at Waffle House 1671 01:18:06,140 --> 01:18:07,756 and beer pong at Bram's, 1672 01:18:07,975 --> 01:18:10,137 all of that was just to pawn me off on Martin? 1673 01:18:10,978 --> 01:18:12,514 I'm not a piece of meat, Simon. 1674 01:18:13,564 --> 01:18:15,430 You know how hard it was for me to start over. 1675 01:18:17,776 --> 01:18:18,857 I trusted you. 1676 01:18:19,528 --> 01:18:20,609 (Sighs) 1677 01:18:23,407 --> 01:18:24,863 Hey, come on, Leah. I'll take you to school. 1678 01:18:31,290 --> 01:18:33,998 Leah. Leah, please. Listen, listen. 1679 01:18:34,168 --> 01:18:35,499 I know I messed up, okay? 1680 01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:36,872 But I knew you were in love with Nick. 1681 01:18:36,962 --> 01:18:38,669 And I thought that maybe... Just stop it! 1682 01:18:39,882 --> 01:18:41,668 You know what? You are insanely stupid, Simon. 1683 01:18:41,759 --> 01:18:44,751 I was never in love with Nick. I was in love with you! 1684 01:18:46,305 --> 01:18:47,170 (gasps) 1685 01:18:48,224 --> 01:18:49,089 But... 1686 01:18:50,434 --> 01:18:52,141 We're... We're us. 1687 01:18:52,394 --> 01:18:53,509 Yeah, well... 1688 01:18:54,146 --> 01:18:55,887 (sighs) Sorry. 1689 01:18:58,484 --> 01:18:59,815 I've been trying to tell you. 1690 01:19:01,612 --> 01:19:05,355 That night I slept over, I was trying to tell you. 1691 01:19:08,160 --> 01:19:09,867 You wanna know the funniest part? 1692 01:19:10,871 --> 01:19:13,078 It's that all these years, you being so picky with girls, 1693 01:19:13,165 --> 01:19:17,250 I thought that maybe it was because you might like me, too. 1694 01:19:18,003 --> 01:19:20,335 And then, you know, you told me I should go out with Nick 1695 01:19:20,547 --> 01:19:22,413 and I realized you were just never gonna see me that way. 1696 01:19:23,968 --> 01:19:26,050 I can deal with you being gay, Si. 1697 01:19:27,054 --> 01:19:28,715 But you set me up to get my heart broken 1698 01:19:28,806 --> 01:19:30,137 when you thought I was in love with Nick 1699 01:19:30,266 --> 01:19:31,552 and that just makes you cruel. 1700 01:19:37,648 --> 01:19:39,889 -(car engine starts) —(Simon sighs) 1701 01:19:46,115 --> 01:19:49,574 (students murmuring) 1702 01:20:01,505 --> 01:20:02,370 You all right? 1703 01:20:02,548 --> 01:20:03,413 Hanging in there. 1704 01:20:04,425 --> 01:20:06,382 Uh, for the record, 1705 01:20:06,468 --> 01:20:09,210 when I was saying that we have a lot in common, you know, 1706 01:20:09,305 --> 01:20:11,137 I wasn't really... That's not what I was talking about. 1707 01:20:11,724 --> 01:20:12,589 Gotcha. 1708 01:20:13,225 --> 01:20:14,465 Just FYI, just for the record. 1709 01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:15,800 SIMON: Okay, great. Thanks. All right. 1710 01:20:26,530 --> 01:20:27,736 Hey, Jackie. 1711 01:20:28,115 --> 01:20:30,482 Did you date me because you think I look like a guy? 1712 01:20:31,410 --> 01:20:33,651 No. No, I actually broke up with you 1713 01:20:33,746 --> 01:20:35,157 because you don't look like a guy. 1714 01:20:35,664 --> 01:20:38,873 Oh. Oh, okay. Thanks. 1715 01:20:39,460 --> 01:20:40,325 Welcome. 1716 01:20:42,171 --> 01:20:43,411 What did he say? 1717 01:20:52,264 --> 01:20:53,470 (Sighs) 1718 01:20:53,682 --> 01:20:55,389 (rap music playing on phone) 1719 01:20:55,601 --> 01:20:57,012 Yeah! Hey, Creekwood! 1720 01:20:59,646 --> 01:21:01,011 This one's for you, Spier. 1721 01:21:02,858 --> 01:21:03,893 Hey, Ethan. 1722 01:21:04,526 --> 01:21:05,732 Oh, yeah! Oh, yeah. 1723 01:21:10,115 --> 01:21:11,776 Ooh, ooh, ooh. 1724 01:21:11,867 --> 01:21:13,608 You like that, don't you, Spier? 1725 01:21:14,620 --> 01:21:15,485 Yeah. 1726 01:21:15,704 --> 01:21:17,615 Oh, yeah, Ethan, Simon likey. 1727 01:21:18,082 --> 01:21:20,744 (Aaron and Spencer moaning) 1728 01:21:22,378 --> 01:21:23,868 You have something you wanna say to me? 1729 01:21:25,297 --> 01:21:26,628 I said do you have something to say to me? 1730 01:21:26,757 --> 01:21:27,838 (turns off music) 1731 01:21:27,925 --> 01:21:28,790 I'll take it from here. 1732 01:21:28,967 --> 01:21:29,832 Hey, Ms. Albright. 1733 01:21:30,135 --> 01:21:31,216 Don't "Hey, Ms. Albright" me. 1734 01:21:31,428 --> 01:21:33,089 We're not friends. You're not gonna braid my hair 1735 01:21:33,263 --> 01:21:34,173 or paint my nails. 1736 01:21:34,264 --> 01:21:35,629 Get your ass off the table now! 1737 01:21:35,933 --> 01:21:38,300 You sweaty, hormonal virgins. 1738 01:21:38,727 --> 01:21:40,593 You know what? You're about to be suspended for so long, 1739 01:21:40,938 --> 01:21:42,428 that by the time it's over, you're gonna be 1740 01:21:42,689 --> 01:21:45,147 the fat, bald, unhappily married 1741 01:21:45,234 --> 01:21:48,226 wildly mediocre nobodies you're destined to become. 1742 01:21:48,445 --> 01:21:49,776 You can't talk to us like that. 1743 01:21:50,072 --> 01:21:51,654 Actually, I can, 'cause I just did. 1744 01:21:51,865 --> 01:21:53,481 And you know why? Because you're just those two 1745 01:21:53,575 --> 01:21:54,940 assholes that did that shitty thing 1746 01:21:55,160 --> 01:21:57,777 in front of the whole school. And guess what? 1747 01:21:58,247 --> 01:22:01,160 Nobody feels sorry for those assholes, especially me. 1748 01:22:01,834 --> 01:22:03,950 Now, walk. Mr. Worth's office now. 1749 01:22:04,044 --> 01:22:04,909 Bye. 1750 01:22:05,879 --> 01:22:07,119 Uh-uh. That's mine now. 1751 01:22:07,673 --> 01:22:09,835 I'mma sell it. Get my tubes tied. 1752 01:22:10,551 --> 01:22:12,758 (scattered laughter and chatter) 1753 01:22:23,480 --> 01:22:25,471 (inaudible conversation) 1754 01:22:26,442 --> 01:22:28,479 Why does Mr. Worth have to talk to us? 1755 01:22:29,653 --> 01:22:31,143 I mean, can't we just let this shit go? 1756 01:22:34,908 --> 01:22:36,114 Hey, I'm sorry, Ethan. 1757 01:22:38,662 --> 01:22:40,994 None of this ever happened when just you were out. 1758 01:22:42,875 --> 01:22:44,707 You know what they say, one gay's a snooze, 1759 01:22:44,793 --> 01:22:46,329 two's a hilarious hate crime. 1760 01:22:51,800 --> 01:22:53,382 You could've told me you were gay. 1761 01:22:56,138 --> 01:22:57,674 I guess I didn't think we had very much in common. 1762 01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,922 (scoffs) You're telling me, Simon. 1763 01:23:00,017 --> 01:23:01,473 It's not like your all—hoodie wardrobe 1764 01:23:01,560 --> 01:23:02,721 rocks my world. 1765 01:23:03,145 --> 01:23:04,135 (Simon chuckles) 1766 01:23:09,234 --> 01:23:10,099 I don't know. 1767 01:23:10,903 --> 01:23:12,064 Maybe I was jealous. 1768 01:23:13,447 --> 01:23:14,778 You've been out since you were 16. 1769 01:23:17,409 --> 01:23:19,070 It always seemed so easy for you. 1770 01:23:19,369 --> 01:23:20,234 Easy? 1771 01:23:20,996 --> 01:23:22,202 Are you kidding me? 1772 01:23:25,125 --> 01:23:26,957 My mom still tells my grandparents 1773 01:23:27,044 --> 01:23:28,409 about all the girls I'm dating 1774 01:23:28,504 --> 01:23:31,246 when we go over to their house for dinner, every Sunday. 1775 01:23:32,382 --> 01:23:34,623 She says it's 'cause they're old and religious, 1776 01:23:35,260 --> 01:23:36,625 and it's just easier that way. 1777 01:23:38,263 --> 01:23:39,469 I don't know, maybe that's true. 1778 01:23:40,724 --> 01:23:43,307 But you should hear her voice when she talks about the girls. 1779 01:23:49,066 --> 01:23:50,773 All right, boys, come on in. 1780 01:23:51,652 --> 01:23:52,733 Come on. 1781 01:23:54,279 --> 01:23:55,519 All right, just stand right here. 1782 01:23:55,864 --> 01:23:56,729 (speaks French) 1783 01:23:58,242 --> 01:23:59,107 Get up. 1784 01:24:02,704 --> 01:24:04,115 Okay, these gentlemen have something 1785 01:24:04,206 --> 01:24:05,446 that they would like to say to you. 1786 01:24:05,791 --> 01:24:07,247 We're sorry. Our bad. 1787 01:24:07,459 --> 01:24:09,200 That's right. 'Cause at Creekwood High, 1788 01:24:09,294 --> 01:24:10,204 what do we believe in? 1789 01:24:10,379 --> 01:24:11,414 BOTH: Tolerance. 1790 01:24:11,838 --> 01:24:14,000 And "tolerance" means we respect 1791 01:24:14,091 --> 01:24:15,798 Simon and Ethan's choice to be boyfriends. 1792 01:24:15,884 --> 01:24:17,500 We are not boyfriends. Yeah. No. 1793 01:24:17,886 --> 01:24:20,594 Hey, whatever you wanna call it, it's fine with me. Seriously. 1794 01:24:20,722 --> 01:24:22,804 We call it "two people 1795 01:24:22,891 --> 01:24:24,598 that are not at all romantically involved." 1796 01:24:24,685 --> 01:24:25,971 Yeah, I get it. Keepin' it casual, man. 1797 01:24:26,061 --> 01:24:27,222 I can dig, seriously. 1798 01:24:29,231 --> 01:24:31,973 Oh. Simon. Hey, can we talk? 1799 01:24:32,484 --> 01:24:33,849 I don't have anything to say to you. 1800 01:24:33,944 --> 01:24:35,434 Please, please. I just wanted to say 1801 01:24:35,529 --> 01:24:36,485 that I was sorry, okay? 1802 01:24:36,572 --> 01:24:38,188 I didn't know or think 1803 01:24:38,323 --> 01:24:39,609 that people still did shit like that. 1804 01:24:39,783 --> 01:24:41,490 And I got in a lot of shit for Homecoming, 1805 01:24:41,577 --> 01:24:43,864 and I wanted everyone to focus on something else, you know? 1806 01:24:43,954 --> 01:24:45,444 I just didn't think it was gonna be a big thing. 1807 01:24:45,581 --> 01:24:47,197 I don't care if you didn't think that my coming out 1808 01:24:47,291 --> 01:24:48,781 was gonna be a big thing, Martin. 1809 01:24:50,210 --> 01:24:51,416 Look, you don't get to decide that. 1810 01:24:51,795 --> 01:24:53,877 I'm supposed to be the one that decides when 1811 01:24:54,006 --> 01:24:56,964 and where, and how and who knows and how I get to say it. 1812 01:24:57,050 --> 01:24:58,461 That's supposed to be my thing! 1813 01:24:58,594 --> 01:25:00,084 And you took that away from me. 1814 01:25:01,555 --> 01:25:03,922 So, look, can you please just get the fuck away from me? 1815 01:25:13,275 --> 01:25:14,140 (Sighs) 1816 01:25:17,487 --> 01:25:18,602 (Sighs) 1817 01:25:26,997 --> 01:25:27,862 (computer chimes) 1818 01:25:36,173 --> 01:25:39,006 BLUE: I saw the posts. I know who you are. 1819 01:25:40,010 --> 01:25:40,875 Jacques a Dit. 1820 01:25:41,219 --> 01:25:43,085 That's what they call Simon Says in France. 1821 01:25:43,555 --> 01:25:44,511 Very clever. 1822 01:25:45,098 --> 01:25:47,556 I'm sorry, Simon. I can't do this anymore. 1823 01:25:47,643 --> 01:25:49,429 - SIMON: Please, Blue. - BLUE: I'm so sorry. 1824 01:25:49,770 --> 01:25:52,307 SIMON: You can't leave me alone. Everything's falling apart. 1825 01:25:54,983 --> 01:25:56,189 (takes deep breath) 1826 01:26:22,552 --> 01:26:23,713 (sobbing) 1827 01:26:44,616 --> 01:26:45,856 I mean, I haven't even talked to her. 1828 01:26:45,951 --> 01:26:47,157 I haven't even seen her at school. 1829 01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:51,154 Anyway, I guess I'll see you in class, right? 1830 01:26:51,289 --> 01:26:52,370 - GIRL: Yeah, totally. - CAL: Okay. 1831 01:26:52,457 --> 01:26:53,572 Later. 1832 01:26:54,543 --> 01:26:55,453 Hey- 1833 01:26:55,669 --> 01:26:56,704 Hey, Simon. 1834 01:26:59,339 --> 01:27:00,204 Is it you? 1835 01:27:02,384 --> 01:27:03,249 Are you Blue? 1836 01:27:04,469 --> 01:27:07,678 No. No, it's not me. Sorry. 1837 01:27:11,393 --> 01:27:12,849 I know you've had a crazy couple days. 1838 01:27:12,936 --> 01:27:13,892 You wanna talk about it? 1839 01:27:14,354 --> 01:27:16,470 No, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. 1840 01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:18,476 No, don't worry. Sorry for bothering you. 1841 01:27:38,420 --> 01:27:39,376 (door closes) 1842 01:27:59,608 --> 01:28:00,689 Did you know? 1843 01:28:06,448 --> 01:28:08,064 I knew you had a secret. 1844 01:28:13,413 --> 01:28:15,825 I mean, when you were little, you were so carefree. 1845 01:28:17,417 --> 01:28:21,456 But these last few years, more and more... 1846 01:28:23,298 --> 01:28:25,790 it's almost like I could feel you holding your breath. 1847 01:28:33,725 --> 01:28:35,386 I wanted to ask you about it, but I... 1848 01:28:36,520 --> 01:28:38,056 didn't wanna pry. 1849 01:28:41,358 --> 01:28:44,726 Maybe I made a mistake. No. No, Mom, you... 1850 01:28:46,571 --> 01:28:47,902 You didn't make a mistake. 1851 01:28:52,410 --> 01:28:54,447 EMILY: Being gay is your thing. 1852 01:28:55,455 --> 01:28:58,322 There are parts of it you have to go through alone. 1853 01:28:58,834 --> 01:28:59,790 I hate that. 1854 01:29:01,419 --> 01:29:04,207 As soon as you came out, you said, "Mom, I'm still me." 1855 01:29:08,134 --> 01:29:09,420 I need you to hear this. 1856 01:29:11,847 --> 01:29:14,305 You are still you, Simon. 1857 01:29:16,726 --> 01:29:21,436 And you are still the same son who I love to tease, 1858 01:29:22,566 --> 01:29:25,684 and who your father depends on for just about everything. 1859 01:29:26,653 --> 01:29:28,018 And you're the same brother 1860 01:29:28,405 --> 01:29:31,113 who always compliments his sister on her food, 1861 01:29:31,199 --> 01:29:33,110 even when it sucks. 1862 01:29:36,913 --> 01:29:39,075 But you get to exhale now, Simon. 1863 01:29:41,334 --> 01:29:44,543 You get to be more you than you have been... 1864 01:29:46,923 --> 01:29:48,539 in a very long time. 1865 01:29:56,057 --> 01:29:57,843 You deserve everything you want. 1866 01:30:12,741 --> 01:30:13,776 My boy. 1867 01:30:30,634 --> 01:30:32,124 Hey, Leah. 1868 01:30:32,552 --> 01:30:33,713 Hey. What's up? 1869 01:30:33,929 --> 01:30:34,919 What are you doing? 1870 01:30:35,889 --> 01:30:37,300 Just going for a run, you know. 1871 01:30:38,224 --> 01:30:39,305 Daily ritual. 1872 01:30:39,392 --> 01:30:40,473 Yeah, you've never done that. 1873 01:30:41,394 --> 01:30:42,259 Have, too. 1874 01:30:42,896 --> 01:30:44,102 But you're wearing jeans. 1875 01:30:45,815 --> 01:30:46,725 They're my running jeans. 1876 01:30:46,816 --> 01:30:48,477 Simon, you're about to pass out. 1877 01:30:49,486 --> 01:30:51,102 (panting) Okay, fine. I'm not going for a run. 1878 01:30:52,280 --> 01:30:53,896 Hey, Leah. Please, listen. 1879 01:30:53,990 --> 01:30:55,276 Look, I know, okay? 1880 01:30:55,408 --> 01:30:56,864 You didn't want anyone to know you're gay. 1881 01:30:56,952 --> 01:30:58,442 No, that wasn't just it. 1882 01:31:02,082 --> 01:31:03,288 I fell in love with someone. 1883 01:31:04,960 --> 01:31:06,246 That guy in the emails... 1884 01:31:08,254 --> 01:31:09,119 I love him. 1885 01:31:10,465 --> 01:31:12,706 And I knew that if Martin leaked our emails, 1886 01:31:12,801 --> 01:31:13,791 it'd scare him off. 1887 01:31:15,095 --> 01:31:15,960 I'm sorry. 1888 01:31:18,932 --> 01:31:20,297 I know what I did was messed up. 1889 01:31:24,229 --> 01:31:25,094 You're my best friend. 1890 01:31:25,438 --> 01:31:26,394 If I'm your best friend, 1891 01:31:26,481 --> 01:31:28,222 then why did you come out to Abby and not me? 1892 01:31:31,277 --> 01:31:32,312 Think it was easier. 1893 01:31:34,197 --> 01:31:35,733 I've known Abby for six months, 1894 01:31:36,449 --> 01:31:39,282 and I've known you for 13 years. 1895 01:31:41,705 --> 01:31:42,945 And I knew that if I told you, 1896 01:31:43,039 --> 01:31:44,780 that everything was gonna be different. 1897 01:31:46,960 --> 01:31:48,826 I really wanted things to stay the same. 1898 01:31:53,591 --> 01:31:55,127 Tell me about this guy you love. 1899 01:31:59,180 --> 01:32:00,762 You sure? Yeah. 1900 01:32:01,641 --> 01:32:03,632 It'll help me kill off Hetero Simon in my mind. 1901 01:32:04,394 --> 01:32:06,852 You don't have to kill him off. He's dead, Si. 1902 01:32:07,355 --> 01:32:09,312 Hacking him up with a mental machete as we speak. 1903 01:32:10,567 --> 01:32:11,682 (chuckles) 1904 01:32:12,152 --> 01:32:13,938 All right. Fair enough. 1905 01:32:16,865 --> 01:32:18,230 So, I call him Blue. 1906 01:32:28,710 --> 01:32:29,745 Hey, Si. 1907 01:32:31,796 --> 01:32:32,831 Yeah? 1908 01:32:38,470 --> 01:32:39,426 (Sighs) 1909 01:32:43,600 --> 01:32:44,761 How long have you known? 1910 01:32:47,353 --> 01:32:50,891 Like, I really started to get it when I was around... 1911 01:32:53,193 --> 01:32:54,058 thirteen? 1912 01:32:54,486 --> 01:32:56,068 Four years? Four years of... 1913 01:32:57,822 --> 01:32:58,812 eating dinner together, 1914 01:32:58,907 --> 01:33:00,443 four years of going to movies together. 1915 01:33:00,700 --> 01:33:03,408 Four years of walking Bieber together. 1916 01:33:05,705 --> 01:33:06,786 I'm sorry. 1917 01:33:07,874 --> 01:33:08,955 I shouldn't have missed it. 1918 01:33:09,501 --> 01:33:11,117 No. Hey, no, Dad. 1919 01:33:11,419 --> 01:33:12,625 All those stupid jokes... 1920 01:33:13,505 --> 01:33:14,666 Well, I know you didn't mean 'em. 1921 01:33:14,798 --> 01:33:16,380 It doesn't matter. I shouldn't have missed it. 1922 01:33:20,261 --> 01:33:21,376 But... 1923 01:33:22,055 --> 01:33:24,137 in case the message got lost somewhere I just... 1924 01:33:25,975 --> 01:33:27,761 I just want you to know that I love you. 1925 01:33:29,979 --> 01:33:31,435 (crying) And I'm really proud of you. 1926 01:33:33,024 --> 01:33:35,015 I wouldn't change anything about you. 1927 01:33:38,196 --> 01:33:39,436 Hey. Shit, Dad. 1928 01:33:42,325 --> 01:33:43,190 Hey, stop crying- 1929 01:33:43,618 --> 01:33:45,359 I'm trying. I'm trying. 1930 01:33:46,621 --> 01:33:47,656 Oh, God. 1931 01:33:50,166 --> 01:33:51,031 Come here. 1932 01:34:01,094 --> 01:34:02,505 How's that video for Mom coming? 1933 01:34:02,929 --> 01:34:04,135 Good. Good, good. 1934 01:34:04,264 --> 01:34:05,299 Good. 1935 01:34:07,851 --> 01:34:08,886 You don't know how to export it, 1936 01:34:09,060 --> 01:34:10,175 do you? Can you help me with that 1937 01:34:10,311 --> 01:34:11,301 please? Yeah. 1938 01:34:11,813 --> 01:34:12,678 Okay. Let's go. 1939 01:34:13,273 --> 01:34:14,308 Hey- 1940 01:34:15,150 --> 01:34:17,232 I thought maybe we could sign up for Grindr together. 1941 01:34:18,570 --> 01:34:20,026 You don't know what Grindr is, do you? 1942 01:34:21,197 --> 01:34:22,904 It's Facebook for gay people. 1943 01:34:23,700 --> 01:34:24,690 Not what it is. 1944 01:34:28,329 --> 01:34:29,911 Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you 1945 01:34:29,998 --> 01:34:31,329 20 years of bliss. 1946 01:34:33,001 --> 01:34:35,993 (video playing) 1947 01:34:40,341 --> 01:34:41,706 EMILY: Did you guys do this? 1948 01:34:43,011 --> 01:34:44,376 Simon and I did it, yeah. 1949 01:34:45,555 --> 01:34:47,045 I just helped. It was mostly me. 1950 01:34:47,390 --> 01:34:48,630 EMILY (laughs): Yeah, right. 1951 01:34:52,979 --> 01:34:54,219 Really? Really? 1952 01:34:56,191 --> 01:34:57,647 EMILY: I can't believe you did this. 1953 01:34:58,610 --> 01:35:00,442 I panicked and bought you a watch. 1954 01:35:01,029 --> 01:35:02,019 That's okay. 1955 01:35:02,405 --> 01:35:04,612 You can give me somethin' later that I can't get in the store. 1956 01:35:04,991 --> 01:35:06,231 That's really gross. 1957 01:35:06,492 --> 01:35:08,233 Oh, guys, just look. Sorry, just pay attention. 1958 01:35:08,411 --> 01:35:10,152 Just look at baby Bieber! 1959 01:35:10,288 --> 01:35:11,403 NORA: He was so cute! 1960 01:35:11,915 --> 01:35:13,076 EMILY: Just look at our baby! 1961 01:35:17,170 --> 01:35:18,956 SIMON: Dear students of Creekwood High School, 1962 01:35:19,631 --> 01:35:22,214 As anyone with a half-decent data plan already knows, 1963 01:35:22,884 --> 01:35:24,841 a recent post on this very website 1964 01:35:25,011 --> 01:35:26,297 declared that I was gay. 1965 01:35:27,055 --> 01:35:28,511 The delivery left something to be desired, 1966 01:35:28,640 --> 01:35:29,880 but the message is true. 1967 01:35:30,683 --> 01:35:32,674 I am... gay. 1968 01:35:33,353 --> 01:35:36,186 For a long time, I was killing myself to hide that fact. 1969 01:35:37,190 --> 01:35:38,430 I had all these reasons. 1970 01:35:38,524 --> 01:35:40,686 It was unfair that only gay people had to come out. 1971 01:35:40,777 --> 01:35:42,233 I was sick of change. 1972 01:35:42,528 --> 01:35:43,893 But the truth is I was just scared. 1973 01:35:43,988 --> 01:35:45,069 COACH: Come on, Garrett. Let's go! 1974 01:35:45,156 --> 01:35:46,772 SIMON: At ﬁrst I thought it was just a gay thing. 1975 01:35:47,116 --> 01:35:48,857 But then I realized, no matter what, 1976 01:35:49,035 --> 01:35:50,651 announcing who you are to the world 1977 01:35:50,745 --> 01:35:51,860 is pretty terrifying 1978 01:35:52,121 --> 01:35:54,488 because what if the world doesn't like you? 1979 01:35:55,124 --> 01:35:57,536 So, I did whatever] could to keep my secret. 1980 01:35:58,253 --> 01:36:00,711 I hurt the best, most important people. 1981 01:36:00,922 --> 01:36:02,583 And I want them to know that I'm sorry. 1982 01:36:03,174 --> 01:36:04,710 I am done being scared. 1983 01:36:05,301 --> 01:36:06,587 I'm done living in a world 1984 01:36:06,761 --> 01:36:08,343 where I don't get to be who I am. 1985 01:36:08,596 --> 01:36:10,553 I deserve a great love story. 1986 01:36:10,807 --> 01:36:13,219 Disclaimer, this is about to get romantic as eff, 1987 01:36:13,601 --> 01:36:15,638 so anyone adverse to gratuitous feelings 1988 01:36:15,728 --> 01:36:17,594 kindly click over to the BuzzFeed quiz 1989 01:36:17,689 --> 01:36:19,726 or resume the porn you paused to read this. 1990 01:36:19,857 --> 01:36:21,063 Did you even use the ladder? 1991 01:36:21,150 --> 01:36:22,811 SIMON: This guy that I love once wrote 1992 01:36:22,902 --> 01:36:25,018 that he felt like he was stuck on a Ferris wheel. 1993 01:36:25,738 --> 01:36:26,978 On top of the world one minute, 1994 01:36:27,365 --> 01:36:28,605 at rock bottom the next. 1995 01:36:29,367 --> 01:36:30,402 That's howl feel now. 1996 01:36:32,161 --> 01:36:34,277 I couldn't ask for more amazing friends, 1997 01:36:34,747 --> 01:36:36,203 a more understanding family. 1998 01:36:36,291 --> 01:36:38,202 But it would all be so much better 1999 01:36:38,293 --> 01:36:39,624 if I had someone to share it with. 2000 01:36:42,630 --> 01:36:43,495 So, Blue... 2001 01:36:44,424 --> 01:36:46,631 I might not know your name or what you look like. 2002 01:36:48,177 --> 01:36:49,212 But I know who you are. 2003 01:36:50,638 --> 01:36:52,220 I know you're funny and thoughtful. 2004 01:36:52,890 --> 01:36:54,221 That you choose your words carefully 2005 01:36:54,350 --> 01:36:55,761 and that they're always perfect. 2006 01:36:56,728 --> 01:36:59,186 And I know that you've been pretending for so long 2007 01:36:59,272 --> 01:37:00,728 it's hard to believe you can stop. 2008 01:37:01,482 --> 01:37:02,347 I get it. 2009 01:37:03,401 --> 01:37:05,062 Like I told you at the very beginning, 2010 01:37:05,737 --> 01:37:06,602 I'm just like you. 2011 01:37:06,696 --> 01:37:08,562 -GIRLS: Hi, Simon. -SIMON: What's up? 2012 01:37:08,865 --> 01:37:09,730 SIMON: So, Blue... 2013 01:37:10,491 --> 01:37:13,574 after the play, Friday at 10:00, you know where I'll be. 2014 01:37:14,746 --> 01:37:17,078 No pressure for you to show up, but I hope you do. 2015 01:37:18,041 --> 01:37:19,907 Because you deserve a great love story too. 2016 01:37:20,793 --> 01:37:22,909 Love, Simon. 2017 01:37:34,223 --> 01:37:36,055 ♪ Willkommen ♪ 2018 01:37:36,225 --> 01:37:37,886 ♪ Bienvenue ♪ 2019 01:37:38,144 --> 01:37:43,856 ♪ Welcome im cabaret ♪ 2020 01:37:44,776 --> 01:37:46,107 ♪ Au cabaret ♪ 2021 01:37:47,195 --> 01:37:54,113 ♪ To cabaret ♪ 2022 01:37:58,664 --> 01:38:00,496 (audience cheering) 2023 01:38:05,254 --> 01:38:06,710 (all gasping) 2024 01:38:07,465 --> 01:38:10,002 Okay. They're not paying me enough for this. 2025 01:38:12,095 --> 01:38:13,631 (indistinct chatter) 2026 01:38:18,351 --> 01:38:19,341 - ABBY: Hi - LEAH: Oh, my God. 2027 01:38:19,435 --> 01:38:20,470 - Oh, my God! - You were amazing. 2028 01:38:20,561 --> 01:38:21,471 I'm not even kidding. 2029 01:38:21,604 --> 01:38:23,015 You were, like, insane. Thank you! 2030 01:38:23,106 --> 01:38:24,642 What's Baby! 2031 01:38:24,774 --> 01:38:25,730 (laughing) 2032 01:38:29,028 --> 01:38:30,063 ABBY: Yeah. Yeah. 2033 01:38:34,617 --> 01:38:35,482 (clears throat) 2034 01:38:35,993 --> 01:38:37,483 Hey, Simon. Hey. 2035 01:38:40,915 --> 01:38:42,781 Do you wanna go to the carnival with us tonight? 2036 01:38:48,089 --> 01:38:48,954 Yes. 2037 01:38:49,257 --> 01:38:50,292 Yeah? SIMON: Yeah! 2038 01:38:50,383 --> 01:38:51,248 LEAH: Yay! 2039 01:38:51,467 --> 01:38:52,628 Get in here, Leah! 2040 01:38:53,177 --> 01:38:54,258 LEAH (grunts): The love! 2041 01:38:54,762 --> 01:38:55,718 Thank you. 2042 01:39:15,116 --> 01:39:16,231 We'll be right here. Yeah. 2043 01:39:16,325 --> 01:39:17,781 Go get him. All right. 2044 01:39:17,952 --> 01:39:19,442 Yes! Woo! Yeah! 2045 01:39:19,537 --> 01:39:20,447 Go, Simon! 2046 01:39:20,538 --> 01:39:22,245 Spier, Spier, Spier. Woo! 2047 01:39:23,249 --> 01:39:24,535 That should last a while. 2048 01:39:28,337 --> 01:39:29,327 GIRL: Oh, my God, look. 2049 01:39:29,547 --> 01:39:31,208 I bet he's waiting for the other gay kid. 2050 01:39:31,424 --> 01:39:32,960 Where's Dana? She'll love this. 2051 01:39:34,927 --> 01:39:37,043 ABBY: You got this, buddy. Proud of you. 2052 01:39:37,138 --> 01:39:38,378 (students cheering) 2053 01:39:38,931 --> 01:39:40,262 Yeah, buddy! Yeah! 2054 01:39:40,349 --> 01:39:41,430 You got it! Woo! 2055 01:39:41,559 --> 01:39:42,549 ABBY: This is it. 2056 01:39:47,273 --> 01:39:48,138 ALL: Yeah! 2057 01:39:48,733 --> 01:39:49,723 (cheering continues) 2058 01:39:55,198 --> 01:39:56,484 We love you, Simon! 2059 01:39:57,450 --> 01:39:59,157 (all cheering) 2060 01:40:01,287 --> 01:40:03,153 Yo. Can you just... Come on, no. 2061 01:40:08,669 --> 01:40:10,080 (all whooping) 2062 01:40:24,977 --> 01:40:26,433 MAN: Go, Simon! 2063 01:40:31,734 --> 01:40:34,317 Okay. That's your last ride ticket, buddy. 2064 01:40:36,572 --> 01:40:37,778 MARTIN: Wait. Wait! 2065 01:40:41,744 --> 01:40:43,576 Simon, it's me. 2066 01:40:45,498 --> 01:40:47,580 I'm Blue. I love you. 2067 01:40:49,043 --> 01:40:49,953 No, you're not. 2068 01:40:50,211 --> 01:40:51,918 No, I'm not. I just... 2069 01:40:53,005 --> 01:40:55,121 This is so brutal. 2070 01:40:57,051 --> 01:40:58,587 Here. I'll tell you what. 2071 01:40:59,053 --> 01:41:01,670 I got a couple... How much is it? 2072 01:41:02,390 --> 01:41:05,223 It's four tickets, four bucks. Perfect. Okay. There you go. 2073 01:41:05,351 --> 01:41:06,216 Last one's on me. 2074 01:41:07,937 --> 01:41:08,802 Got it. 2075 01:41:10,731 --> 01:41:12,688 Last call for the Ferris wheel! 2076 01:41:15,278 --> 01:41:17,610 Oh, no, I can't watch. I can't watch this, babe. No. 2077 01:41:18,281 --> 01:41:19,362 This is awful. 2078 01:41:19,865 --> 01:41:21,481 Okay, Dora. Wait, wait. 2079 01:41:23,411 --> 01:41:24,401 Can I sit there? 2080 01:41:25,454 --> 01:41:26,865 I was kind of waiting for somebody. 2081 01:41:28,416 --> 01:41:29,281 Yeah, I know. 2082 01:41:34,380 --> 01:41:35,415 It's Bram! 2083 01:41:41,721 --> 01:41:42,586 It's you. 2084 01:41:44,432 --> 01:41:45,297 It's me. 2085 01:41:48,728 --> 01:41:50,184 But that night at the party... 2086 01:41:50,438 --> 01:41:53,271 Yeah. I was drunk and confused. 2087 01:41:53,357 --> 01:41:55,815 And it ended, like, a minute after you saw us. 2088 01:41:59,363 --> 01:42:00,228 And you're Jewish. 2089 01:42:01,157 --> 01:42:02,022 Yeah. 2090 01:42:03,117 --> 01:42:04,027 Which is cool. 2091 01:42:04,201 --> 01:42:05,111 (laughs) 2092 01:42:05,202 --> 01:42:06,363 And I'm black, too. 2093 01:42:07,622 --> 01:42:08,703 And 933/- 2094 01:42:10,207 --> 01:42:11,197 It's kind of crazy, huh? 2095 01:42:11,500 --> 01:42:12,456 I didn't think you'd come. 2096 01:42:13,794 --> 01:42:14,659 Me neither. 2097 01:42:15,087 --> 01:42:18,296 Until I was walking towards you, I didn't think I had it in me. 2098 01:42:26,807 --> 01:42:28,548 (all murmuring) 2099 01:42:39,362 --> 01:42:40,852 Are you disappointed that it's me? 2100 01:42:44,784 --> 01:42:45,649 No. 2101 01:42:49,372 --> 01:42:52,660 (all cheering) 2102 01:43:26,325 --> 01:43:27,941 (cell phone ringing) 2103 01:43:32,289 --> 01:43:33,154 Hey- 2104 01:43:33,249 --> 01:43:34,330 LEAH: Have you seen CreekSecrets? 2105 01:43:34,458 --> 01:43:36,870 There are six new confessions, all signed. 2106 01:43:37,545 --> 01:43:38,410 Listen to this. 2107 01:43:39,213 --> 01:43:41,454 ”My parents didn't come and see me in Cabaret. 2108 01:43:41,716 --> 01:43:43,423 They hate that I wanna be an actor. 2109 01:43:43,509 --> 01:43:45,876 I don't know if they'll ever be proud of me. 2110 01:43:46,262 --> 01:43:47,343 Taylor Metternich. " 2111 01:43:47,763 --> 01:43:48,628 Wow. 2112 01:43:49,432 --> 01:43:50,638 You're a trendsetter, Spier. 2113 01:43:51,684 --> 01:43:53,516 Now, come on, get in the car. We need to go. 2114 01:44:03,946 --> 01:44:05,528 - Good morning! - Ah, there he is! 2115 01:44:05,781 --> 01:44:07,397 Morning, Simon. Top of the morning, kid. 2116 01:44:07,700 --> 01:44:08,565 What's this? 2117 01:44:09,076 --> 01:44:10,862 Nora's specialty. Mm, coconut? 2118 01:44:10,953 --> 01:44:12,239 Yeah. You look good. 2119 01:44:12,705 --> 01:44:14,116 Have a good day, honey. You too. 2120 01:44:14,206 --> 01:44:15,617 Is it good? It's delicious. 2121 01:44:15,916 --> 01:44:17,532 I'll see you guys. What, you're not gonna eat? 2122 01:44:17,710 --> 01:44:18,575 Bye, Simon. 2123 01:44:18,669 --> 01:44:22,287 ("Wild Heart" playing) 2124 01:44:31,891 --> 01:44:33,052 Mornin'. Hey, buddy. 2125 01:44:41,901 --> 01:44:42,766 Good morning. Hey! 2126 01:44:42,943 --> 01:44:43,899 How you doin', Leah? 2127 01:44:43,986 --> 01:44:45,317 Pretty good. Pretty good. 2128 01:44:56,916 --> 01:44:57,826 Hey! 2129 01:45:05,299 --> 01:45:06,164 Hey- 2130 01:45:10,721 --> 01:45:11,961 Morning. Morning. 2131 01:45:15,559 --> 01:45:16,594 Everybody in? 2132 01:45:16,685 --> 01:45:17,550 Yes. Oh, yeah. 2133 01:45:17,645 --> 01:45:18,851 All right, it's too beautiful a day, 2134 01:45:18,979 --> 01:45:20,936 so I think I'm gonna actually take us on a little adventure. 2135 01:45:21,398 --> 01:45:22,559 Yes! Woo! 2136 01:45:22,650 --> 01:45:24,015 That's exactly what I need! 2137 01:45:24,109 --> 01:45:25,065 NICK: Yeah, adventure! 2138 01:47:47,920 --> 01:47:54,883 (instrumental music playing) 152694