Original subtitles

Adam!

Eve!

I must tell you something!

At last!

I've never told anyone else.

No other woman?

No, none.

Promise you won't laugh?

I will not.

I don't know how to put it...

I'm a dwarf.

But... is that your proposal?

"Grasshopper"...Jedlina here.

Olo... I'm sorry... I must see you!

You were never to phone me.

They're after me!

That's your lookout.

I'm about to settle down...

I've cracked the formula, Kingsize is ours!

Kingsize? Where are you?

In a phone-box downstairs. With a sample.

Go to the hotel lobby you'll be safe in a crowd.

I'll join you there.

Clever tactic.

How do we react?

Operation A5.

Olo!

Ladies and Gentlemen, pay no attention.

Thank you, goodbye, everything's under control.

Hey there, lady, what are you doing?

Follow the red car

Get in at the back!

Open the door!

Who is it?

Police.

Yes, what is it?

Where's the other one?

What other one?

Oh him... He got away.

Naked?

That's right.

How did he get out?

That way.

Help!

Holy Moses!

Are you crazy?

Do I look like a mugger?

I thought you were one of those stranglers.

Let me explain. I'm quite harmless.

Come in.

Wait here.

I'm sorry.

Drink from the wrong side is the best cure for hiccups.

Is that gas very toxic?

Don't rub your eyes.

I was afraid you'd lose it... or I'd lose you.

I was to pick up something at the hotel.

Just give it to me and I'll go away.

The man who ran away put it in your pocket.

Funny - I didn't notice anything.

Who are you, anyway?

First, you give back my property.

It's in your left coat pocket.

Will you tell me what it's all about?

First I want to see it.

Maybe it's in the lining?

How can you walk around with torn pockets... like a slattern?

He risked his life for that phial.

What was in it?

Maybe there's some left in the lab?

There was freedom in it!

SMALL IS BEAUTIFUL

My chick even wants to get married.

And mine made me an omelet.

We must have something that excites them.

I told you nobody would turn up.

Adam worked on, his own.

If they want a stakeout, let them have it.

It means we can have a good time in Kingsize.

All that snuggling... made me lose my head.

I hope the colonel doesn't find out.

They say he isn't... averse to a bit of snuggling himself.

I've found some coffee.

We could... invite our chicks.

And do some snuggling.

All the way!

You know, this looks like being a real quiet mission.

Sex mission!

Idiot!

Help!

You slob!

Well. I'm back.

You call these 5 minutes?

In the hotel I met a girl.

I went to her place and then to Adam's lab.

There was a cat on the roof, so I fell down... and here I am.

You've the nerve to tell me you were with another woman?

We swore we wouldn't have any secrets!

How can you come to dinner in this state?

You did it on purpose to avoid meeting my mother.

But I love you...

How is it possible?

The formula for Kingsize... is our best - guarded state secret.

Not even the makers know all the ingredients.

And yet...

Don't keep repeating after me!

He once worked... on the production of Kingsize.

Its good thing we caught him.

What about the lab?

We chased Adam while Gil and Pycio... took care the lab.

Nothing more to worry about.

The place is still being staked out?

Yes, in case he didn't work alone.

If they screw this up... I'll feed them to the birds.

Thank you both... Let's have that Judas in now.

Come closer.

Just look at you!

What was the point? Were you short of anything?

You were issued your own drawer.

A drawer? Drawers aren't everything!

Was I to spend my life distilling something? I didn't know the use of?

It might happen to anyone.

You feel the urge to chuck up everything.

Only dedication to duty keeps you at your post.

I know the feeling.

But we're not vindictive.

In return for a signed declaration... that it was just a passing

whim... we'll forgive you.

I won't sign anything!

You degenerate!

You'll be charged with willful disclosure.

Betrayal of state secrets.

Cutting down the branch...

we're all sitting on in social harmony.

What "state"?

It's all just a big joke!

Sooner or later... the game will be up.

How did you get hold of the formula for Kingsize?

You can kiss my...

You have to deserve good treatment.

"THE GRASSHOPPER" EDITORIAL OFFICE

My dear, it's time we had a serious talk.

A candy?

I've just read your last piece.

Interesting no doubt, but I have certain reservations.

You write about conservative and radical dwarfs.

And then there's this:

"Wiechetek's beer's eyes... twinkled"

Beer's eyes?

What about our campaign against alcoholism?

You'd better change that to peanut or chestnut.

Of course I never interfere...

I'd like to ask for unpaid leave.

What about your article? Today is the forth.

Today is the forth?

What's so strange?

Panta rei!

Here it is, I must fly.

You can rely on me.

I like helping you youngsters.

Are you out of "Polo Cockta"? There should be one left.

Oh, it's just been taken.

Give it back, you thief!

I'll pay you a thousand.

I'm having a party.

Two thousand and give you my watch.

A nutcase!

He walked in without a basket.

You thief!

What's going on?

He stole my Cockta!

Easy now, I'm opening it.

Call the police!

I'll pay for everything.

No! I demand satisfaction!

Who are you?

ORMO

Here you are.

My "Polo Cockta"!

I'm sorry, thank you.

I want to thank you!

How did you know it mattered so much?

I'm in a hurry, so if you want to...

Fine, I can give you a lift.

Thank you.

That's where I sit.

Of course...

I'm terribly grateful.

You're late

I'm terribly sorry.

Only just in time, as usual.

What's he modeling?

That's my fianc�.

He is journalist!

It's BIG

It's a WOW

It's instant fame

KINGSIZE

When your soul feels old

And the drawer's stuck

And all around.

There's so much muck

While your soul

Is still whole

Get out of the drawer

Get out of the drawer

Come across!

Kingsize is bliss

You mustn't miss

It's sex, it's thrills

It's heaven with frills

Kingsize...

...for all Just think tall

Keep out if you're small

Aim high or not at all -

Move over!

You had it all the time? Why did you lie?

How much is it worth?

One hundred...

How do I get hold of... two hundred dollars?

I thought you needed it so badly.

I'll pay tomorrow, promise!

Promises pay no bills.

Here, take it.

Kingsize!

You're so fast...

It might have been smashed.

You'll get the money.

It's a present.

Why?

Because I like...

Because I feel like it.

If your gear's too tight

And makes you fidget -

Change your size -

And become a dwarf-

For if there isn't

Much in the kitty

Scale down the players

And you're sitting pretty

Small is great

We're heard that before

But they're pretty gloomy

Inside the drawer

And if you ask

Why they're fretting-

It's because small

Often means petty

What? The colonel?

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you...

...for coming to see my collection "Troll Trend 89"

Oh, I've invited you for dinner!

I forgot.

Are you a journalist?

My pleasure.

Olgierd Jedlina

I hoped that under your "oddity"

is something pleasant.

And this is my skirt.

I have invested two month of my life in you!

That's enough.

You are working as Santa Clouse, if I understood correctly?

And he imagined that he's dwarf.

To avoid marriage.

That is not original...

Everybody here is goblin.

Let's find the giants!

Ewa, I'm a dwarf for real!

Hold this for a moment.

Ewa, behave yourself.

Yes Mother.

Dwarf land!

Dwarf land.

Drawer!

Drawer.

You pervert!

Degenerate!

You are lucky that women are here.

You pervert!

Pervert!?

Oh my God, that you?

Is this supposed to be a leave of absence?

I'm very sorry,

But this is my private matter how I live through my time.

This is for my new article.

I'm researching social aspect of prejudice to dwarfs.

Olgierd, I'm afraid for you.

You are very tired.

Maybe you've believed that you are a dwarf.

It could happen.

If someone live in the same environment

for a long period of time.

You see?

Even children are not accepting dwarfs like you.

Claudia!

Don't kick him, or you'll sweat.

Wait a minute!

What is it?

You could at least say goodbye.

Bravo! Bravo!

Guys, this is some kind of misunderstanding!

I'll give you misunderstanding!

For what?

You provocateur!

Dwarf land! Dwarf land...

Enough! Let's go!

Damn!

Dwarf land! Dwarf land...

Finland?

I don't understand.

Hey, madam!

You are following me!

No, you are following me.

Take of this cotton and ugly hat.

Get in!

We have to talk.

I know - from the other side.

I need to tell you something.

I didn't tell this to anyone.

Not to a woman?

No.

But please promises that you will not laugh.

I promise.

I am...

A dwarf.

How do you know?

I'm a dwarf too.

There are no women dwarfs!

My father was a dwarf.

He fought for KINGSIZE for everyone.

Do you think that I found you in a hotel by a mistake?

Adam called me.

You were checking me!

You were insincere.

You didn't tell me

That the elders have the formula.

But they were giving it only to chosen ones.

And you were one of the chosen ones

And you were ashamed to tell me.

That was long time ago.

If you are drinking Polo Cockta regularly

You could sat in Kingsize for permanently.

I know, my father discovered this.

But he always told me that there is other

Kingsize where you don't need to drink Polo Cocta to stay big.

This is my father.

Colonel Kilkujadek changed him to a rabbit.

My pleasure, Olgierd Jedlina.

Jedlina!

I've read your articles...

In,, Pasikonik"

Fantastic!

Well, who gave you the formula?

This is not dwarf a like!

I refuse to answer!

Sorcerer Ciupa?

I refuse to answer!

Maybe we connect them?

Don't be so eager!

I've noticed this long ago.

Koszal?

Swierkotek?

Maybe...

No, Smerda Jajeczny not either.

45?

Max him out!

It's maximum.

I will tell, I will

It's me!

I discovered this by myself.

By trying and trying.

Alone.

Nobody helped me.

He is telling the truth, Colonel.

He could act alone.

Maybe...

Do not suggest it to me - good.

Unglue him!

Kwintek! Kramerko!

Here we are.

These are our top men in the field.

We've met!

I didn't have time to explain...

We thought you were a double-agent.

He meant well.

Here's to our dear ones on the other side.

Getting there is damned difficult, you know.

We've tackled tougher problems.

You locate Adam.

Then we'll get in grab him and get out.

Give me the phial.

Kingsize for everybody.

There are only enough for us four.

A metaphor.

The idea...

Easy now!

What if we meet resistance?

Don't worry... You see this bottle?

That's what happened to Colonel Shush.

You'll need clothing.

There's father's.

How is he? Still he is a rabbit?

We must pick him some clover.

Before we find Adam we might crush

...many innocent dwarfs underfoot.

That's why we have to scale down.

Scale down?

As micros we can take the plumbing route.

As micros?

Don't worry we can't fail.

We've perfected our methods.

And there's poor pa's contingency plan.

As micros?

As micros!

QUATERNARY INSTITUTE LIBRARY

STAFF ONLY

There's a draught.

Get undressed.

I don't like it.

Don't tense your muscles...

I don't like it.

Disposable, I hope? With all this AIDS about...

Easy, everything's under control.

Turn off the light.

Our clothes!

Kingsize for all!

For everybody!

Everybody!

A new arrival!

Did they spin you?

He wears specs, so he must be a professor.

In a way... a chemist.

What's the charge?

, third degree.

A dissident!

The top bunk, junior step on it.

You'll change places with the professor.

No, no I don't mind the shelf.

You'll take over the professor's duties too.

Okay.

But I really don't mind...

Professor, you've your own work to do.

What's that?

Conspiring!

I'm coming down secure the rope!

Look out, here it comes.

Pull tight.

Now me!

Careful, we're close to the colonel's quarters.

I don't remember this.

Use a match!

High voltage!

What do we do now? We can't manage alone.

Relax. I've faced worse emergencies.

I'll carry on the struggle.

Our cause requires sacrifices.

He was the guide.

We're almost there.

All we can do for him... is honor him with a minute's silence.

But above all, there's the sky, snow, wind and grass...

So things are not so bad... as they say here?

I don't know what they say. It's simply different.

I saw the sky once.

Through a hole in the drawer: It was blue all over.

Silly, I know, what you mean.

That wasn't the sky it was a bucket.

Since you were in Kingsize yourself... why did you bother

about the elixir?

The big shots don't like anyone meddling with it.

Everyone should have the right to choose... what size he wants to be.

A buddy of mine from the dwarf scouts... who was in Kingsize at one time...

...said they had something called... she...

She males.

No, females.

Females

Is true that they're... soft and smell good?

They're called "women"...

...And they're very nice.

But I never had the time. I was too busy in the lab.

I don't know if I'm really so keen on Kingsize.

It's not so bad here.

To be big... is pretty risky.

Small is beautiful as our poet says.

Come along, your turn on the turntable.

Don't be afraid...

There are other ways of making you see reason.

The salvage detail!

Goodbye.

Idiots, you were to get him to talk.

He told such interesting stories...

We're arrived.

Quiet!

It might be a trap.

Feel the draught?

Don't worry about me!

Carry about orders!

Give me the safety-pin. They won't take me alive.

The safety-pin!

I won't leave you behind!

Do your duty!

I won't leave you.

Go and look for Adam!

Kingsize... for everybody!

Drawer land...

My fingers...

Psst! Want a dime?

Sorry?

You can have it cheap... 1300 ...I'm on sick leave.

Elsewhere it cost 2000.

A bargain...

The police!

I'm off.

Noodle with frog-spawn... Here's the voucher.

A bottle of Forest-murmur.

Wouldn't mind one myself!

Where've you been?

Soda pops are banned till further notice.

Fly on toast.

Are the flies fresh?

Caught today.

I'll have one.

Fly only for vouchers.

He didn't have one.

I'll call the guard.

What special privileges? Down with vouchers!

Down with privileges!

Officer, he's causing a disturbance.

No politics in the cafeteria!

Pipe down.

Horrible! Disgusting!

My fly...

Your fly...

...on toast

Scotch tape?

Tape me if you can...

Not all myths are true.

Dwarfs aren't necessarily... always helpful and kind.

We must know all aspects of the truth...

Pleasant and unpleasant,

on behalf of our section, therefore. I demand

...an uncensored edition of Grimm's Fairy Tales.

We want Grimm!

Long live the Dwarf's Republic!

Long live Smerda Jajeczny!

Let us commission our most outstanding writers to do it.

We homunculi must... know our roots like mandrakes.

Whoever fails to understand that... is a truffle, not a root.

You look familiar, somehow...

But I haven't heard of a mission for you.

It was top secret. Code name is "Grasshopper".

My job was to infiltrate the Cockta drinkers.

Sit down.

Who gave you your orders?

Do I thump him?

Shush! It's an act.

Shush!

Colonel Shush.

Only he knows about my mission.

That's a very strange coincidence...

because Colonel Shush was killed...

...by a gang of Cockta.

The colonel's dead?

Let us honor him with a minute's silence.

You traitor!

You are one of the Cockta freaks yourself.

You came here to snoop.

You're guilty of treachery blackmail, extortion...

But we know all about you!

In that case why would I

...come back once I'd settled in Kingsize?

I got myself arrested... in order to reach you...

I don't like your ugly mug.

I'll have you thrown to the birds.

There'll be time for that later.

You'll change your mind... when you've

heard what I have to say.

All right!

You have 3 minutes.

Dwarf land is in danger... The Kingsize monopoly

...has beenbreached.

You call that news?

We have the culprit under lock and key.

How's that? I only talked to him 2 hours ego... in Kingsize.

He's tall and dark...

Zenon Bombalina, heads an under-cover operation.

His accomplice Adam runs a dummy lab as cover.

Adam Haps - I didn't work it out right away.

A little runt?

Insignificant.

Get me Was here immediately.

And arrange transport.

Wind it up!

What shoddy workmanship...

Excuse me, where are we going?

A vehicle is fine.

Duty officer in Salvage Section.

See what attractions we have in store for you.

Olo?

You have a good view from here.

You can see how hard they have to work.

They're all dwarfs who let the side down.

Can you see your Adam Haps down there?

The one is glasses.

Ask him about Bombalina...

He'll give himself away.

Come here, Haps.

You didn't catch the right one.

Can you imagine him finding the formula?

Do you know him?

No

Cap off!

It was all my own work.

He's covering up.

He's lying!

Suppose he isn't?

Let him tell us the ingredients.

Of course I know who you are!

I remember Caf� Biba... where we had bacon with tap water.

H2O to make you go.

His brain's turned soft.

Caf� Biba, H2O makes you go.

There's method in his madness...

We'll have to find that Bombalina.

I'll take you to his but first... let's get back to Kingsize.

Not so fast! I suggest

...you give us his address and let my men go.

In the meantime I'll be in the sauna.

We'll have time to get to know each other.

What do those Cockta freaks actually want?

Were they so badly off in the library?

They were warm, dressed in cheerful outfits,

well-fed and free to take up interesting hobbies.

Some even had their own drawers.

I once heard one of them say... that dwarfs

...had outlived their usefulness.

Horses' manes don't need plaiting.

People don't want their corn ground at night

...or their pots polished?

There are no orphans to befriend...

That's typical of... the Cockta's decadent reasoning.

Since we've survived... we obviously have a role to play.

We're a great untapped source of energy.

Just read Hans Andersen... or Konopnicka...

or the later Brothers Grimm.

If there were no dwarfs... the cosmic balance would be upset.

Fresh twigs.

Well then suppose we let everyone have the elixir?

That would sort out the pros from the antis.

We don't need reluctant supporters.

The trouble is we need everyone.

Those who are in favor and those who are undecided.

Otherwise the day might come

...when there'd just be two of us...

...to plait horses' manes.

I know the "Polo Cockters" don't love us...

But we'll go on loving them

...until one day we make them see the light.

The water's too warm!

But maybe...

Come closer.

As one dwarf to another -

Do you know what is the real attraction?

Stronger than all those noble sentiments?

Females!

They just want to snuggle!

He's trying to escape!

Snuggle! What a boor!

What about dignity, freedom and dimension?

Come here!

Get me out!

It's stuck.

Put the kettle on a skate and after him!

Can't you go any faster?

Nice of you to drop in, Olo.

It's not me!

We waited... two years but finally ate the egg yesterday.

What a feast!

Don't wait for the lights.

Halt!

Wait!

I'm going after him.

"Land of my fathers, hail!

Drawer land is thy name"

Olo!

Paragraph!

They're after me, I must hide.

The drawer is open jump in.

Thanks.

Come away with me to Kingsize.

There's enough elixir.

I've been there... Everything's so large.

But isn't grass beautiful? And the sky?

And you want to stay in your drawer!

This is home.

You really want to remain a dwarf?

Some must be small... so that other can be big.

Are you sure?

I agree with you that the drops should be... available to all.

But even then... I wouldn't want to be big.

Anybody come this way?

No.

He's not there.

"We're not afraid... of being confined..."

Archive here.

Two crates of onions for the whole Institute.

Careful!

A certain Bombalina does live at that address.

A certain Bombalina does live at that address.

Careful!

Fifties, energetic, edits the "Grasshopper"

Did you get him?

Look put!

Although the details agree... Bombalina cannot be involved

...in the case.

He's a female!

Then why waste my time?

I've other things on my mind.

He led us down the garden-path!

If they want war let them have it!

We must cut off their supplies... of "Polo Cockta".

Either they're on our side or they're expendable!

It's a job for the special task force.

I'm cold.

The contingency plan...

What a drain.

At last!

Where are the others?

They fell at their posts.

I don't have the formula.

Adam's out of his mind.

How huge you are!

Tell me what Adam said.

Caf� Biba, bacon, tap water...

He kept repeating it.

What would you do if you had only one chance of

...passing on the formula.

I'd smuggle out a letter.

But if you couldn't write it down?

I'd try to pass them on in code.

The components, I mean.

Let's write them down.

Ca, Fe, Bi, Ba, Ba Co N plus water.

That gives us calcium, iron, bismuth,

barium, barium again, cobalt...

...and nickel. Barium twice?

Strange...

Maybe we're wrong?

Try B Ac O N... that's boron actinium, oxygen, nitrogen

You're wonderful!

I just know Adam, that's all.

Were you close?

We had a common cause.

"POLO COCKTA" WORKS, NO ADMITTANCE.

Emergency supplies.

That's seen the last of them.

Good morning.

Ala, get up!

Your Pa wants his breakfast.

We must get going.

Careful!

Get up!

We must do something to get you back to Kingsize.

JUNIOR CHEMIST

Kingsize...

Hurry up!

Don't fidget.

Well?

Why isn't in working?

Maybe I had the wrong proportions? Try this.

I'm cold.

Hey! Don't overdo it!

I don't know... we've tried everything.

I might have been burnt!

There is something wrong here.

All we needed was a fire...

Do something Adam!

Or we're both finished.

Do something!

"Adam, do something!?"

Adam, do something...

Olo! Olo! Olo!

Just talking to myself...

"Yesterday an explosion... destroyed the

only factory producing "Polo Cockta".

It must have been a gas leak.

Otherwise we would have notices something"

The monsters!

The colonel's responsible.

Despot, tyrant!

No more Cockta and we can't reproduce the formula.

Since early morning anxious Cockta lovers have been

...buying up supplies.

Luckily I stocked up.

There are unforeseen complications.

Reports are coming in... that men who went

out to buy Cockta have disappeared, leaving behind all their clothing.

All items are... in the care of the police.

What will happen to them?

And to me?

Olo! The water! Tap water from the lab!

Water! What water?

What do you mean?

Listen we didn't add water.

We did... distilled...

Yes, but it has to be tap water from his lab.

How do you know?

Adam told me. The old magic's working.

I'll be big again!

Go and get some.

In the meantime, take care!

Blueberry to Strawberry! The she male's here.

Be on the alert!

Phase "C"

Strawberry here. Report arrival.

Calling Strawberry! She's leaving.

Mr. Jedlina!

Where are you?

Again that...

Yes, ma'am.

Your leave was over... and you didn't report back at work.

I was worried about you.

So was the collective.

The collective!

Your voice sounds a little thin.

I've been busy but I'll soon be back at work.

I realize everyone has his problems...

But there are regulations ...which I can't ignore.

There've been some important... changes in my personal life.

Good heavens!

What have you done to yourself?

You really thought you were a dwarf...

Oh dear, what a woman!

Ambulance Service No 4.

There's a woman here who's fainted.

What happened?

I don't know.

We were talking and she just fell down.

Your address?

No4 Forest Grove.

Your name?

Olgierd Jedlina.

We'll send an ambulance.

Give me the water.

That's my boss. I've called an ambulance.

That's my boss. I've called an ambulance.

What's she doing here?

Lying down.

By Pa's ears! It must work.

Here's to our success! Let's hope it works.

That's the ambulance men. You talk to them.

They'd better take her away.

You can't relax for a moment.

Ambulance Service?

Olgierd Jedlina?

He's not at home.

Really?

Quickly, hide!

Hold on, I'm coming!

Under the wardrobe!

And who are you?

Just a friend... of Olo's.

He's turned into a dwarf!

Really? What dwarf?

You must be insane.

You need a holiday.

I'd better be going.

The editorial council meets on Thursday.

At last you're big.

And strong...

Did you call us?

In the dining room.

Good, these two need your help.

We were told a woman...

She went home.

Okay, we'll take what there is.

Olo, help!

Cut it.

Adam's in danger.

Olo, help!

Greetings!

Ten paces from the door!

Here it is.

Caf� Biba?

Calcium... iron, bismuth, barium...

A proper Mata Hari...

For insubordination, treachery and disloyalty to Dwarf's Land

For revealing... the most closely guarded secrets,

the renegade Adam Haps

is condemned... to quartering by egg - slicer.

Signed H. Kilkujadek for the supreme tribunal.

On the 13th Rainius in the Dwarf's year 25.

Tormentors, do your duty!

Olo, save me!

Drill here.

To liberty, fellow dwarfs!

To freedom!

I'll come with you.

I must go alone.

I'll be back - with Adam or alongside him.

Be careful

Don't worry.

Thank you, how much do I owe you?

Look, it's...

Adam!

You dared come back here full-size?

You broke a sacred commandment.

We'll never forgive you.

Give me these injectors.

He pricked me.

I'm getting quite worried father.

If he's not successful. I really don't know...

He's here!

After him!

Well?

He's here.

Get him down!

Shake him down!

He got away.

Cut him off. On the toilet paper!

On the wash-basin. Put me down.

Did you catch him?

What happened?

Outflank him!

Bigheads!

All because they had a go at being largo.

We'll put a stop to expeditions... to Kingsize!

Come on, come closer...

We'll jump after him.

Get him with the soap!

"For you"!

A near miss.

Is there another bar?

No

The toilet roll! Follow me.

We'll jump one at a time.

Got you!

Now you'll be mine, mine alone!

Never!

Let go!

That's where you belong, you tyrant!

Father!

You're wonderful!

I'd forgotten what you looked like.

The spell has been broken.

Broken?

Look at teeth and ears.

A dentist and a vet will see to those.

Olo!

Adam!

I'm back... but what now?

Don't worry; I have the drops for Kingsize.

Let's go south!

There must be some Kingsize there

...where you don't have to drink "Polo Cockta".

Where are we?

It's the wrong directions!

You said there weren't any female dwarfs!

I want to be big!

No more micros!

That's supposed to be a happy ending?

No! It's no fair!